Kat on the Loose

Episode: Lamborghinis, Lingerie & Candles – Why We Should Not Ignore Initial Red Flags!

Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Nicole Moore (Love Coach & Relationship Expert)
Date: May 7, 2025

Episode Overview

In this raw, unfiltered episode, Kat Zammuto shares a deeply personal story about a brief but eventful relationship with "Mr. Lamborghini," a wealthy Beverly Hills businessman. Drawing lessons from her own experience, Kat explores why so many women ignore initial red flags in relationships, despite knowing better. She brings in returning guest Nicole Moore—love coach and relationship expert—to analyze the situation in real time, asking for unfiltered opinions and guidance to help listeners identify and act on red flags before it’s too late.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ignoring Red Flags Despite Knowing Better

(01:04–03:18)

• Kat opens up about being in a months-long relationship where she repeatedly ignored warning signs—despite years of relationship podcasting and interviewing experts.
• Reflects on the universal struggle: "You see some warning signs, you see some red flags. You know that person is not your person...and you keep going." (02:00, Kat)

2. First Impressions and Physical Attraction

(06:17–08:03)

• Kat describes her first date with "Mr. Lambo"—physically not her type, but gave him a chance due to his confidence and success.
• Nicole notes: “There are very few women who actually grow in physical attraction over time...If you’re turned off by how he looks, it’s not going to work long term.” (08:03, Nicole)

3. Early Emotional Distance and Communication Red Flags

(09:45–10:07)

• On their first dinner, Mr. Lambo reveals: "When I’m not with that person, I really, really don't care about anything."
• Nicole immediately calls this a red flag: “You have to have some big emotional issue if you’re not going to care about your partner.” (09:57, Nicole)

4. Pushing His Own Agenda

(10:44–11:30)

• Mr. Lambo confidently plans the next date, not soliciting Kat’s input or preferences.
• Nicole: "It’s like he read a book on what women want...to compensate for personality defects." (11:06, Nicole)

5. Sparse Communication and Emotional Unavailability

(12:35–15:08)

• Mr. Lambo refuses daily contact, disappears between dates, and communicates formally.
• Kat: "He would totally go radio silent. Like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And then maybe Thursday he would appear—super formal."
• Nicole: “He’s not caring about your side of the street...That is a big red flag because it’s like, does he care about what you need?” (15:50, Nicole)

6. Larger Red Flags: Selfishness and Alcohol Issues

(19:03–22:05)

• Kat describes an incident where Mr. Lambo arrives drunk at a high-profile event, embarrassing her in front of friends.
• Nicole: “That is weird. Just to get plastered for no reason in the middle of the day, not even drinking with you.” (20:33, Nicole)

7. Lack of Reciprocity: Financial and Emotional Stinginess

(22:53–25:21)

• Despite lavish spending on himself, Mr. Lambo is stingy or indifferent toward Kat’s needs (e.g., covering her pet-sitting costs, gifts, gestures).
• Nicole: “If he has the means and he's not spending it on you when you’re exclusive, that is a big red flag.” (22:29, Nicole)

8. Thoughtless or Insulting Gifts

(31:15–33:12)

• After receiving a thoughtful wine for his birthday and sexy lingerie for Christmas, Mr. Lambo gets Kat a single candle—post-Christmas—after she expresses disappointment.
• The plot thickens when Kat learns he bought two identical candles for her and a co-worker.
• Nicole: “You should not be getting the same level of gift as a co-worker...Why would he lie?” (34:25, Nicole)

9. Disrespect and Public Embarrassment

(40:00–41:59)

• At a social event, Mr. Lambo gives his number to another woman in full view of Kat and her friends, leading to public humiliation.
• Kat: “Why am I the only one being disrespected?”
• Nicole: “He doesn’t care about your feelings. He thinks paying for dates is enough.” (42:07, Nicole)

10. Gaslighting and Emotional Disconnect

(43:05–45:58)

• When Kat expresses hurt, Mr. Lambo accuses her of creating “drama” despite his own repeated missteps.
• Nicole: “If you talk to them about the issues and they make you wrong, then you can just be certain it's never going to get better.” (55:22, Nicole)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Initial Gut Feelings:
  “When I looked at him, it would never be the kind of guy that I would date...if your first impression tells you, this is not a person that I would be with in the long run, that's kind of like a little red flag or warning sign.” (07:19, Kat)

• On Emotional Unavailability:
  “He’s basically saying, if you’re not in front of me, I don’t care about you. That’s a red flag.” (09:57, Nicole)

• On Relationship Reciprocity:
  “Getting ready for these dates costs a lot of money...we spend a ton...Nails, waxing, hair, makeup, clothes… And this guy makes a lot more money than me.” (24:00, Kat)

• On the ‘Candle Incident’:
  “This is a gift you buy a Pilates instructor, or for a housewarming, not the girl you’re dating and sleeping with.” (31:47, Kat)

  “The store owner told me: ‘Oh yeah, he bought two candles—exactly the same candles.’ So he lied that he went there specifically for me.” (33:12, Kat)

• On Allowing Bad Behavior:
  “The only thing you did wrong was you allowed it for too long.” (46:03, Nicole)

  “We keep giving passes to men misbehaving and treating us disrespectfully. But why?” (43:25, Kat)

• On the Aftermath:
  “Six days after we broke up, the LA fires hit...Even my ex boyfriends reached out—but not him. He didn’t send me one message. It’s like a computer deleted a file.” (53:39, Kat)

Timeline of Important Segments

• Ignoring Red Flags: Kat’s Introduction (01:04–03:18)
• First Date Disappointment / Physical Attraction (07:19–08:46)
• First Major Red Flag Statement (“I don’t care about anything you do if I’m not with you”) (09:45–10:07)
• Formality & Sparse Communication (12:35–15:08)
• The Lamborghini Car Club Story & Drunken Disaster (16:27–22:05)
• Financial Stinginess & Gift-Giving Issues (22:53–25:40; 31:15–33:12)
• The Candle Lie Revealed (33:12–34:25)
• Public Disrespect at the Car Club Event (40:00–42:41)
• Confrontation, Gaslighting, and Emotional Distance (43:05–45:58)
• Discussion on Women Overlooking Warning Signs (43:25–44:30; 55:14–56:02)
• Closure and the Aftermath (LA fires, zero concern shown) (53:39–54:35)

Conclusion & Takeaways

• Early red flags are warnings, not invitations to negotiate.
  • “Don’t ignore the initial red flags and red warnings.” (55:14, Kat)
• A partner’s effort—or lack thereof—tells you everything.
• Disinterest, lack of reciprocity, and emotional coldness do not improve over time:
  • “If they don’t realize they’re wrong and they make you wrong, it will never get better. They literally don’t want to change.” (55:40, Nicole)
• Women need to act sooner, not continually grant passes for subtle red flags and disrespect.
  • “Especially in the beginning, it’s important to pay attention—because it doesn’t get better.” (55:22, Nicole)

For Listeners

If you’ve got a story about relationship red flags or want expert advice, Kat invites you to share for future episodes. Reach out via www.katontheloose.com or Instagram.

Guest Info

• Nicole Moore – Love Coach
  Instagram: @nicolemoore.love

Kat’s advice is clear: “Follow your instincts. See the signs. Don’t be afraid to walk away.”