LAMBORGHINIS, LINGERIE & CANDLES - WHY WE SHOULD NOT IGNORE INITIAL RED FLAGS!

Summary

Kat on the Loose

Episode: Lamborghinis, Lingerie & Candles – Why We Should Not Ignore Initial Red Flags!

Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Nicole Moore (Love Coach & Relationship Expert)
Date: May 7, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this raw, unfiltered episode, Kat Zammuto shares a deeply personal story about a brief but eventful relationship with "Mr. Lamborghini," a wealthy Beverly Hills businessman. Drawing lessons from her own experience, Kat explores why so many women ignore initial red flags in relationships, despite knowing better. She brings in returning guest Nicole Moore—love coach and relationship expert—to analyze the situation in real time, asking for unfiltered opinions and guidance to help listeners identify and act on red flags before it’s too late.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ignoring Red Flags Despite Knowing Better

(01:04–03:18)

• Kat opens up about being in a months-long relationship where she repeatedly ignored warning signs—despite years of relationship podcasting and interviewing experts.
• Reflects on the universal struggle: "You see some warning signs, you see some red flags. You know that person is not your person...and you keep going." (02:00, Kat)

2. First Impressions and Physical Attraction

(06:17–08:03)

• Kat describes her first date with "Mr. Lambo"—physically not her type, but gave him a chance due to his confidence and success.
• Nicole notes: “There are very few women who actually grow in physical attraction over time...If you’re turned off by how he looks, it’s not going to work long term.” (08:03, Nicole)

3. Early Emotional Distance and Communication Red Flags

(09:45–10:07)

• On their first dinner, Mr. Lambo reveals: "When I’m not with that person, I really, really don't care about anything."
• Nicole immediately calls this a red flag: “You have to have some big emotional issue if you’re not going to care about your partner.” (09:57, Nicole)

4. Pushing His Own Agenda

(10:44–11:30)

• Mr. Lambo confidently plans the next date, not soliciting Kat’s input or preferences.
• Nicole: "It’s like he read a book on what women want...to compensate for personality defects." (11:06, Nicole)

5. Sparse Communication and Emotional Unavailability

(12:35–15:08)

• Mr. Lambo refuses daily contact, disappears between dates, and communicates formally.
• Kat: "He would totally go radio silent. Like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And then maybe Thursday he would appear—super formal."
• Nicole: “He’s not caring about your side of the street...That is a big red flag because it’s like, does he care about what you need?” (15:50, Nicole)

6. Larger Red Flags: Selfishness and Alcohol Issues

(19:03–22:05)

• Kat describes an incident where Mr. Lambo arrives drunk at a high-profile event, embarrassing her in front of friends.
• Nicole: “That is weird. Just to get plastered for no reason in the middle of the day, not even drinking with you.” (20:33, Nicole)

7. Lack of Reciprocity: Financial and Emotional Stinginess

(22:53–25:21)

• Despite lavish spending on himself, Mr. Lambo is stingy or indifferent toward Kat’s needs (e.g., covering her pet-sitting costs, gifts, gestures).
• Nicole: “If he has the means and he's not spending it on you when you’re exclusive, that is a big red flag.” (22:29, Nicole)

8. Thoughtless or Insulting Gifts

(31:15–33:12)

• After receiving a thoughtful wine for his birthday and sexy lingerie for Christmas, Mr. Lambo gets Kat a single candle—post-Christmas—after she expresses disappointment.
• The plot thickens when Kat learns he bought two identical candles for her and a co-worker.
• Nicole: “You should not be getting the same level of gift as a co-worker...Why would he lie?” (34:25, Nicole)

9. Disrespect and Public Embarrassment

(40:00–41:59)

• At a social event, Mr. Lambo gives his number to another woman in full view of Kat and her friends, leading to public humiliation.
• Kat: “Why am I the only one being disrespected?”
• Nicole: “He doesn’t care about your feelings. He thinks paying for dates is enough.” (42:07, Nicole)

10. Gaslighting and Emotional Disconnect

(43:05–45:58)

• When Kat expresses hurt, Mr. Lambo accuses her of creating “drama” despite his own repeated missteps.
• Nicole: “If you talk to them about the issues and they make you wrong, then you can just be certain it's never going to get better.” (55:22, Nicole)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Initial Gut Feelings:
  “When I looked at him, it would never be the kind of guy that I would date...if your first impression tells you, this is not a person that I would be with in the long run, that's kind of like a little red flag or warning sign.” (07:19, Kat)

• On Emotional Unavailability:
  “He’s basically saying, if you’re not in front of me, I don’t care about you. That’s a red flag.” (09:57, Nicole)

• On Relationship Reciprocity:
  “Getting ready for these dates costs a lot of money...we spend a ton...Nails, waxing, hair, makeup, clothes… And this guy makes a lot more money than me.” (24:00, Kat)

• On the ‘Candle Incident’:
  “This is a gift you buy a Pilates instructor, or for a housewarming, not the girl you’re dating and sleeping with.” (31:47, Kat)

  “The store owner told me: ‘Oh yeah, he bought two candles—exactly the same candles.’ So he lied that he went there specifically for me.” (33:12, Kat)

• On Allowing Bad Behavior:
  “The only thing you did wrong was you allowed it for too long.” (46:03, Nicole)

  “We keep giving passes to men misbehaving and treating us disrespectfully. But why?” (43:25, Kat)

• On the Aftermath:
  “Six days after we broke up, the LA fires hit...Even my ex boyfriends reached out—but not him. He didn’t send me one message. It’s like a computer deleted a file.” (53:39, Kat)

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Timeline of Important Segments

• Ignoring Red Flags: Kat’s Introduction (01:04–03:18)
• First Date Disappointment / Physical Attraction (07:19–08:46)
• First Major Red Flag Statement (“I don’t care about anything you do if I’m not with you”) (09:45–10:07)
• Formality & Sparse Communication (12:35–15:08)
• The Lamborghini Car Club Story & Drunken Disaster (16:27–22:05)
• Financial Stinginess & Gift-Giving Issues (22:53–25:40; 31:15–33:12)
• The Candle Lie Revealed (33:12–34:25)
• Public Disrespect at the Car Club Event (40:00–42:41)
• Confrontation, Gaslighting, and Emotional Distance (43:05–45:58)
• Discussion on Women Overlooking Warning Signs (43:25–44:30; 55:14–56:02)
• Closure and the Aftermath (LA fires, zero concern shown) (53:39–54:35)

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Conclusion & Takeaways

• Early red flags are warnings, not invitations to negotiate.
  • “Don’t ignore the initial red flags and red warnings.” (55:14, Kat)
• A partner’s effort—or lack thereof—tells you everything.
• Disinterest, lack of reciprocity, and emotional coldness do not improve over time:
  • “If they don’t realize they’re wrong and they make you wrong, it will never get better. They literally don’t want to change.” (55:40, Nicole)
• Women need to act sooner, not continually grant passes for subtle red flags and disrespect.
  • “Especially in the beginning, it’s important to pay attention—because it doesn’t get better.” (55:22, Nicole)

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For Listeners

If you’ve got a story about relationship red flags or want expert advice, Kat invites you to share for future episodes. Reach out via www.katontheloose.com or Instagram.

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Guest Info

• Nicole Moore – Love Coach
  Instagram: @nicolemoore.love

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Kat’s advice is clear: “Follow your instincts. See the signs. Don’t be afraid to walk away.”

Transcript

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[A]

Hey everyone. So on this week's episode of Cat.

[D]

On the Loose, I'm gonna tell you.

[A]

Guys a story about a relationship that.

[D]

I was in last year for a few months because I made a mistake that I thought I was never going to make in my life ever again. Which is ignoring red flags and some major warning signs from the get go. I mean, I've been doing this podcast, Cat on the Loose, for five, four years. We just entered our fifth season, fifth year.

[A]

So I thought to myself, you know, I learned all my lessons.

[D]

I know how to date smarter. I am definitely dating with the intention of finding the right relationship for me. I know so much better. I have interviewed so many experts. I will never make the same mistakes again.

[A]

La la la la la. And then all of a sudden, last.

[D]

Year, I have no idea why I met this person. And there you go. You know when you have that vibe, that feeling from the get go, you see some warning signs, you see some red flags. You know that person is not your person. You know that there are so many things about that person that are bothering you and don't feel right. And you keep going, keep going. And in this story, the plot kept turning, thickening and thickening and getting so crazy and twisted that even all my.

[A]

Friends, as I was telling them to.

[D]

Start, they're like, oh my God, what's going on, Cat? That I talked to my team about it and we were like, you have to do an episode about it. And to help us dissect it and so we can all learn from it, I am bringing in my a favorite love coach and relationship expert, Nicole Moore. And by the way, she knows nothing about the story beforehand. I have not told her anything about it whatsoever because I want her opinions to be as organic and as honest as possible, true to our 100 organic style. So as I am telling her the story, it's just like as I am telling you guys the story, like you.

[A]

Never heard it before.

[D]

She never heard it before.

[A]

So here it goes.

[D]

Lamborghini lingerie and candles. And by the way, you got to stick it to the end because like I said, the plot thickens and thickens and things when you think you've heard it all, like, no, there's another twist. And another and another and another. Are you an entrepreneur, business owner, or.

[A]

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[D]

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[D]

Hi.

[C]

So happy to be back.

[A]

I'm so happy to have you. I missed you so much.

[C]

I know.

[A]

So this is a good, good one for you. Okay? Like I told everyone, you don't know anything about the story because I really want your opinions to be 100, honest and organic. And if I'm the psycho, if I'm the wrong one, if I'm the crazy one, by all means, I know you're gonna tell me the truth, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And by the way, the plot thickens, right? So it starts like. So we gotta go all the way to the. The very, very end. So let's. There's a ton of information. Let's try to pack everything in 45 minutes as fast as you can. So last year in September, I got this phone call from this guy, basically, in a nutshell. He told me we had talked on Hinge a long time ago. And when we talked on Hinge, he was going through a divorce. And I was like, no, thank you, because I don't go. I don't date guys that are going through divorce. And I just hung up on him. And he said he never forgot about me. And he literally put me on his calendar. And he was like, once I go through the divorce, once I get over everything that I have to get over, I'm going to call Catherine. She's the woman I want to date. She's the woman I want to be with.

[C]

What?

[A]

Exactly. So when he called me in September, he was like, this is it. I'm ready. I'm ready for a relationship. And I didn't even remember who he was.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And so he sends me his LinkedIn. He sends me his name. We're going to call him Mr. Lambo. Okay? Mr. Lamborghini. We have to protect his identity. So he sent me all this information, and he was so, like, secure of himself. I was like, okay, I'm gonna give this guy a shot, right? Why not? So he's like, by the way, I also live in Beverly Hills, so we were literally, like, a few blocks from each other, which is good, right? Geography is important, Jimmy, because it really helps the dating game. So he was like, let's go to dinner. He seemed so secure. So I agreed. So, okay, I. I'm like, I have nothing to lose. I go out to dinner with this guy. So the first date here it is like, now you tell me your opinion about this very first one. To me, this is one mistake that I think I made. And I had told myself I was never gonna make that mistake again. When he arrived at the restaurant, he was not like my physical type, like, the type of guy that I would normally date. She's shaking her head.

[C]

Were you attracted to him or no?

[A]

No. So looking at him, no, I was like, he very, very skinny. Like, yeah, he's okay. Like, he has a Beautiful smile, you know, super well dressed, like, very bougie with his clothes because he's wealthy, he makes a lot of money. But, you know, when I looked at him, it was. It would never be the kind of guy that I would date. But, you know, I'm like, I'm going to sit down and have dinner with this guy, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But in hindsight, I think if your first impression tells you, like, this is not a person that I would be with in the long run, to me, that's kind of like a little red flag or warning sign. You agree?

[C]

I mean, there. I think there's very few women who actually grow in physical attraction over time. Like, I have heard women say, I don't really care what it looks like. And for me, I'm like, what are you talking about? There are women like that. But I feel like if you're like that, you know, and if you're not like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, so many women are like, should I. Should I give him a chance? If I'm not physically attracted, I'm like, what do you think is going to happen down the line? You could like somebody's personality, but you can't force yourself to like somebody physically. Right. Like, it just doesn't cross over for most women. There are some. And if you're not like that, and if you're turned off, really turned off by how he looks or you're just not attracted, it's not going to. It's not going to work long term. It's not. If attraction is important to you, some people don't care.

[A]

Yeah, the chemistry is really important to me. But when I looked at him, I thought, okay, I'm not, you know. Yeah. So that. Hold on. You go, we're gonna get there to the chemistry. But talking to him, I'm a major sepiosexual. Right. I like the mental connection. Super intelligent guy, beautiful smile. I'm like, okay, I'm intrigued now. He said one phrase that I should have paid attention. That's another thing, right. That I tell women we need. If a guy tells you something, you. We cannot ignore it. As we were talking and I told him that I have my businesses and I do the podcast, na na na. And I love working, and I want a partner that is really supportive of everything that I do. He was like, he has a corporate job, by the way. He's very wealthy, but he gets a paycheck. He was like, oh, you know, I want to be in a relationship, but when I'm with that person, I want to be with them, but when I'm not with that person, I really, really don't care about anything. I don't care about what they do. Exactly.

[C]

No, no, no. Because then he wants you to not care about what he's doing, too.

[A]

But that's kind of like a red flag. Flag in the sense, like, I want my partner to care about me.

[C]

You're not. Like, that's. You have to have some big emotional issue if you're not going to care about your. He's basically saying, if you're not in front of me, I don't care about you.

[A]

Pretty much.

[C]

That's. That's a red flag.

[A]

So that was on the back of my mind. Wait, guys. Like I said, the plot is going to thicken a lot, but I. Okay, so we had a nice first date. At the very end of the first date, he was like, okay, I really like you. I'm going to take you on a second date. So, I mean, I was thinking about it. I didn't really want to go. But what I like in a man, and I do think this is. Was a pro I started. I literally got a piece of paper and I do a column, pros and cons. So I was like, okay. It's nice because he doesn't keep me waiting. He makes a plan for the following weekend.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. Which is nice in a guy. Right? Because a lot of guys don't do that.

[C]

Yeah, that part is nice. But it's also like he's pushing his own agenda from the start. It's like, I decided I want to be with you. And so, like, let's move this according to how I.

[A]

It's almost like.

[C]

It's like you don't have a choice. It's like, okay, this is what I want. Let's go.

[A]

It's so good to talk to an expert.

[C]

So, yes, in general, like, women would love if a guy, like, doesn't leave them waiting. You know what I mean? But it's almost like it feels like he is. It's like he read a book on, like, what women want, and so he's like, I'm gonna do these things, and then they're gonna like me. Because women, like, when we make plans, when we schedule dates, and when we, like, pursue. It's like, did he read a book on those things to compensate for personality defects that I know you're going to tell me about?

[A]

Exactly. No. Yeah. Wait. Because it's going to get. Yeah, it's going to get worse. But it's interesting because when you are in A situation. You don't notice that. So, okay, I went on a second date. Same thing. I was thinking like, oh, do I really want to be with this guy? Second date. Sweet, smiling. No, no, no. Third date, fourth date. So I think finally on the fourth date, we kissed. When he kissed me, it was a good kiss. Like we had chemistry. So I was really surprised. I was like, wow, we have chemistry. I really liked his kiss and I liked his hands. I'm like a hand person. And he, as. He was super skinny, but his, his hands looked good. So I'm like, okay, this is nice. So I think because I had that attraction, like, you know, the, the, the chemistry was there. I kept going on more dates. And then at one point, one of these dates, we were having dinner, he said to me, oh my God, I really like you. I really think we're developing into something. I want to plan more dates with you, Lala, but the only thing I want to tell you is I don't want to talk to you every day.

[D]

What?

[A]

I wish you guys could see Nicole's face exactly, like in the middle of dinner, this super romantic dinner. He would literally pick the best restaurants around Beverly Hills. Okay, great. You're paying for dinner. Good for you. Yeah. In the middle of dinner, he was like, I really like you. You're amazing. You communicate so well. Everything is so great between us. Everything is so easy between us. But I just don't want to have to like text and talk every day.

[C]

Oh my God. And, but no explanation. Just like, Okay, I just. Again, it's like his agenda is always, he's always pushing his agenda. What about what you want?

[A]

Right?

[C]

So I was like, you like that connection?

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So I started laughing and, and then that's the, that was the first problem, right? Because from now a month, like a, a few weeks are going by and this is exactly how this dude was. So let's say we would go on a date on Saturday. He would totally go radio silent. Like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And then maybe Thursday he would appear like super, super, super formal. Like more formal than my clients treat me. Like, for example, hello, Catherine. I hope you are well, you know what? I know somebody I'm kissing and dating. And then he would be like, I made dinner reservations for tomorrow night at 7pm and whatever place, looking forward to seeing you.

[C]

But you know, he's not. Again, he's not asking. He does like, he doesn't care about if you're available. It's just like everything he wants. And then what is he doing all Those other days where he's not talking to you.

[A]

Well, so, okay. So then it evolved. We finally, like, like, things six or seven weeks into it, we had a weekend, like, to have sex because I wanted to have sex with him, to see chemistry. We had sex. It was okay. It wasn't fabulous. I think he thought it was more fabulous than for me. I obviously blew it out of proportion because I wanted him to feel good. You know, I'm like, okay, I. I was. I was in between because of these things that I'm telling. Because of his formality, his lack of communication. After that, he was like, we are exclusive. I'm out of the dating apps. But, like, he was doing me a favor. He kept reminding me, you know, I'm planning all this date, and I'm out of the dating apps for you, so who cares if I disappear? Like, if I don't talk to you for a few days, when I show up, I'm with you completely. You know, he. He kept claiming that it was his personality, that it was just his.

[C]

Like, what are you doing on the other days? Like, did he tell you?

[A]

Yeah, he was working. He was super busy. He was home. He just needed. It was just his personality. It was just his personality. And then he kept saying, look, I'm only with you. I'm only dating you. I'm out of the dating apps. It's just my style. It's just the way I am. But he did it over and over and over, and my personality is the opposite. Right. I'm super warm. I like.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But this is one question that I have for you as an expert. I don't think responding to somebody's text, like, somebody you're dating month after month after month, I don't think has anything to do with personality. Right. I think, like, it's being. It's retributing or caring about the person. Right.

[C]

Like, that is weird that he wouldn't be thinking of you in between the dates or. And also what's weird is that he doesn't care at all about your communication needs. Like, in a good relationship, it's like, okay, even if I. So one thing that I'll say is that he's open about how he is and what he likes. Like, that's good, but he's not caring about your side of the street. Like, it could be. Well, I. I don't prefer communicating, but what do you need? Like, do I need to set a check in text? Like, he wasn't even doing anything to make you feel better on your side of the street based on your communication style. Like, that is a big red flag because it's like, does he care about what you need? Right?

[A]

And I try to have this conversation and he actually said to me many times, oh, you're the best communicator I ever met. You're so open, blah, blah, blah. Now the Lamborghini part. So we're dating, I think for like two months or ever. One time. Yeah, two months. And he tells me this story, right, that he, he always loved fast cars, blah, blah, blah, that his dad had a Ferrari. And I said, oh, interestingly enough, you guys are going to understand why this is such an important part of the story in a second. And I said, oh, I have two really good friends. They are the owners and founders of one of the the top private members only car clubs in the United States. So I can connect you because it's a really cool community. Like everybody there owns a fancy car, like a fast car, like Lamborghini, Ferrari, Sport. And it's a huge community. It's couples, you know, they do events like lunches, car drives, dinners. It's a great way for you to make new friends. Because, by the way, he didn't really have any friends. He wasn't sociable at all. He was married for a long time and apparently him and his wife never did. And he was like, wow, that's amazing. Will you introduce me? Blah, blah, blah. Sure. So I made the bridge. I introduced him to my friends and we went to an event. They allowed him to participate right on the first event to see if he liked it, to become a member. He loved it. My friends, well, you know, approved him to become a member of this club. I'm not gonna say the name right. To protect everyone. And he became a member of this club and he was like, oh, my God, thank you so much. It's amazing. He bought himself. Then he goes to the Lamborghini here in Beverly Hills. He's like, oh, I'm gonna buy myself a Lamborghini. I'm like, I'm super happy for you. Super supportive. Went with him, got the Lamborghini to call these pictures. He was like, oh, my God, you made one of my dreams come true. I was always postponing it. Thank you for encouraging me. Life is so short. No, no, the first event, we go, remember, these people from this car club are my close friends, right? My close friends. So the first event was like a car drive. And then at night there was this big dinner party, like, had a really nice restaurant here in West Hollywood. So we drive the cars during the day, the whole day. And there was a break between the drive and the dinner, right. We go to his place and he starts drinking and in an empty stomach. And I thought, wow, okay. I think this guy, I was married to an alcoholic. I don't know if you remember that, Nicole.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So I'm like traumatized by people that don't know how to hold the alcohol. But I'm looking at him, I'm like, wow, I barely know this dude. He must know what he's doing, right? He must know how much he's drinking. And by the time we go to the event, which was supposed to be this fabulous sit down dinner, basically he's completely out of it. He arrives at the event and he's hammered, faced. Oh, my God, there's like 150 people there, like 70 couples. And my friends there. And everything is the. We are dressed to the nines. Everybody dressed super high end. And this guy did not know where he was.

[C]

That is a red flag.

[A]

Exactly. And I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I would, to me was deja vu, right? I was like, I can't believe. I'm like. With my alcoholic husband that died again, I bet. I almost had to. We could not stay for dinner. Like, he, he. No, no kidding. Yeah, no kidding. He could not even stay. Sit down straight. Like he was blurring his word.

[D]

He could.

[A]

He was like, oh, my God, he could barely walk outside to get us the Uber. He didn't remember where we were. So we go back, right? We were supposed to sleep at his place. I grabbed my. In the middle of the night, took an Uber. I'm like, I'm out of here.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So that to me again that day, I should have said, this guy's like semi alcoholic, right? Because.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, that's weird. Just to get plastered for no reason in the middle of the day, not even drinking with you. Just like.

[A]

Yeah, it was like five. Exactly. He got hammered, but not like a little. He didn't remember where he was.

[C]

So did he explain why?

[A]

Yes. The next morning he calls me and comes over to apologize. And he. He thought that. He thought we were over. He's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. You're such a nice lady, blah, blah, blah. I never should have done that to you. And I forgave him. I was like, okay, what did he.

[C]

But why? Why did he. Did he say why he did it?

[A]

He didn't know. He was like, I think I was too stressed. It was the first event. And I was too excited. And I'm so sorry. I never did this.

[C]

But that's weird to be that stressed over, like, an event. Why? Especially if you. Like, if he wouldn't. He'd be comfortable. He already makes money. Like you aren't too comfortable around people that make money and have cars. Like, what is the need? Why would you be nervous?

[A]

Right? Exactly. So. But this, to me was a huge red flag because like I said, I was married to an alcoholic. And I know this is how an alcohol problem starts. You think you have it under control and you go to a freaking social event and you can't control your alcohol. And I was super embarrassed because I had to drag him out of there. And. And I texted my friends and I came up with an excuse like, guys, I'm so sorry. I didn't say goodbye because, you know, Mr. Lambo had. Was tired. Had a little too much to drink. I was mortified. You know? Morty.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

God knows why. I forgave him and gave him a chance and continued dating him. Now the plot is going to thicken. Remember? So he is spending all this money on himself.

[D]

Right?

[A]

He makes.

[C]

Is he buying new stuff too? Like, are you at least getting bags and jewelry and stuff for this?

[A]

000. Why is this another quest? So now the. The plot is really gonna take a really.

[C]

That is also a red flag because if he has the means and he's not spending it on you when you're exclusive, like, that is a big red. Like I would expect at this point. You have a band.

[A]

You know, Nothing. He never gave me. Like, not. He paid for our dates. And then, like, we went, for example, to San Diego one week and. Right. The second event of this car club was one night in San Diego.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And he said, I want you to go with me. And I said, sure, but I have to leave my dogs with a pet sitter. And that's a lot of money for me for the weekend. It's not on my budget right now. He knows my whole life. He knows my story. He knows my expense. He was like, okay, tell me everything you need. I'll pay for it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm like, okay, if you want me to go with you. I think that's fair. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. On the way back from San Diego, I'm like. So I personally, I think he should have just sent the money. Right?

[C]

That's what I. Yeah.

[A]

I wish he would just send the money. But all the way back I'm like, okay. So I'm gonna have to Pay my. He's like, how much do you need? So I tell him an amount. You guys are not going to believe this. I tell him an amount for the whole weekend. He sends me less than that amount.

[C]

For what? Why?

[A]

Why exactly? I have no idea. Like my best friend said, it's like he put a cap on how much he was gonna help me without telling me. That was like. Yeah.

[C]

And it's like, it costs how much the cost? Like, if you were open, this is what I need. He should be paying like all or more like what?

[A]

Exactly. This guy is super wealthy. And this is the thing too, that we talked about many times. Getting ready for these dates. Cost a lot of money, right? We spend a ton. Like nails, waxing, hair, makeup, clothes. No, no. It look like a million dollars. Costs a lot more than dinner.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And this guy makes a lot more money than me. I have a lot of. I'm a business owner. I don't have a paycheck.

[C]

Could you ask him, like, why didn't you send the whole. Like, this is so weird.

[A]

I was so in shock.

[C]

I'm like, that would have been such a turn off. Like, what?

[A]

Exactly. So at that point, I'm like, you know, some comp. Shooting all these things in my head. Like, why is this guy treating me like this? It's so bizarre, you know? So now. Exactly. And remember that. And he's by himself. Like a Lamborghini, cash and all this. So this. Remember now, we're coming near the holidays, right. Christmas season. And his birthday is just a few days before Christmas. So I'm thinking, like, first, I don't want to break up with anybody just before Christmas and their birthday. I wasn't sure about what to do. So I'm like, let's keep going a little more. Maybe things are gonna get better during the holidays. Right. Maybe he's gonna treat me properly during the holiday. And I'm thinking, what am I gonna give this dude that has everything for his birthday?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I find out that Lamborghini makes wines. I don't know.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And I'm like, I'm gonna buy him a Lamborghini wine.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And for me, it's a lot of money. I buy him a Lamborghini wine. He was loved that. He didn't even know it existed. He sends a picture to his father. La, la, la, la, la.

[C]

Great.

[A]

Christmas comes around. He's like, I'm going to take you to dinner on Christmas day, Christmas night. Because he spent Christmas day with his father.

[C]

I hope that's not the Gift. Because dinner is not a gift.

[A]

Well, exactly. So I thought to myself, I cannot buy him another gift. So I bought sexy lingerie, which is something that he always loved and we always talked about. So we have dinner, we go to his place and I unpack myself, like, oh, this is your gift. And he's like, oh, I'll take it. Thank you so much. I love it. And then he's dropping me off at home, by the way, because my dogs were not welcome in his place. He didn't. That's a whole lot. Yeah, he didn't. Like, Nicole is shaking her head.

[C]

No, no, no, no, I know. Because again, everything is according to him. It's like he's not accommodating you.

[A]

No, not at all. Yeah, exactly. And. And he's acting like he's doing me a favor. Right. For this day.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So anyway, then he drops me off and he's like, bye, merry Christmas.

[C]

No gift.

[A]

Nothing. Nothing. No, done.

[C]

Done.

[A]

Exact. And no. Listen, it's gonna get worse.

[D]

Guys.

[A]

Wait. This is why we have Nicole here.

[D]

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[A]

So at that point I got sad. At that point I'm like, it's not, I'm not. I was not expecting something expensive. I do not want some dude to pay my bills. It's not about that. You know, I support myself. I love what I do. But it's the gesture. Do you agree? Yeah, of course.

[C]

It's like he's. He. You want to see that he's thinking about you, he's caring about you, that he's putting in some effort. Like it seems like he thinks that dating you exclusively and dinners are pretty much all he has to do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's like, in what world is that okay?

[A]

Exactly. And I think I like all my. I have. My two best friends are guys and they both Said the same thing. He's a very well educated, very intelligent man, very successful. He knows better. He knows how to treat.

[C]

Like, does he have, like. Like Asperger or something where he's like, not. It's like, it's not his fault. Like, does he have, like. No, he doesn't have that. Because, like, sometimes it could be like, there's something actually going on. It's like he has a chip missing or something.

[A]

Exactly. Because, like, my friend said, they said he knows better. He simply didn't want to put the effort because he knows. He knows every. We talked about perfume, things we like, things we have in common, the similar lifestyle. We both live in Beverly Hills. We both love the same restaurants. We talk about all of these things, you know, the commonalities. He simply didn't want to put any effort into it. So then when he said he noticed, like, when he dropped me off, that I made this space, like, and he. He asked me, and I said, look, I'm gonna be really honest with you because I'm. I don't know how to be any other way. It's Christmas, you know, I'm sad because my family isn't here. You know, I couldn't fly them here. I'm going through a lot of things. I wish you. You did a gesture for me towards you. Even if it was a card, a little gift card, something, you're dating me, you know, you didn't think about anything for me. So two days later, he responds like, hi, Catherine, I would love to take you on a dinner on Friday. And by the way, I got you a gift after the fact. Some. I'm like, you're going to die. When you listen to the gift story, Nicole, and everybody listening. So first I'm like, after the fact. I'm not sure how good that is. Right after the fact, I'm like, why are you doing it after.

[C]

If it's after the fact?

[A]

You better be so.

[C]

Wow, amazing. Making up for it.

[A]

You're gonna die of a heart attack.

[C]

Like, can he get you a Birkin at this point? Like, oh, my God, you're gonna die. That's. What if he's dropping cash on a. I just don't understand. If he's dropping cash, then this is not somebody who's, like, faking their wealth.

[A]

No, listen. No, no, He. He makes really good money. He's very calm about finances. La, la la, la, la. Like I said, he went and dropped a lot of cash for a Lamborghini, right? So it. It was really just like. I agree. My Two guy friends said the same thing. He was not interested. He didn't give a. About putting an effort.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In doing something nice. So he cut. We go out to dinner. Fine. Then he brings me this little gift bag. So I open the gift bag, and it's a candle. A candle?

[C]

Not even like a Joe Malone. It's like, right?

[A]

No, it's a candle from a French store. There is a French store on Melrose Place. I'm like, oh, thank you. And he's like, oh, I did a lot of research about this French candle, and I know you have French. And I went there, and I meant to go there before Christmas. I was so busy. Here. Merry Christmas.

[C]

No, I'm sorry. No, that's not enough. No, it's not enough.

[A]

It gets worse.

[C]

You probably would have been like, thank you so much for the gesture. But after a candle.

[A]

But wait, it gets worse. That's not the end of it.

[C]

This is about being materialistic at this point. It's like, you need, like, making up. You need to do something big. Right?

[A]

But wait, that. It gets worse, Right? Okay, that's not the. I agree with you. So I got the candles. Like, okay, thank you very much. What am I gonna say, right? But I was like, does he really think of all the gifts in the world, right? This is a gift you give to your Pilates instructor to a housewarming gift. If somebody throws a party, right? If somebody throws a holiday party, not the girl you're dating, you're sleeping with. It's not romantic after everything. So that same day, like two hours later, I go have brunch with one of my best friends at Earth Cafe on Merrill's Place. And I'm telling my friend exactly what I'm telling you now. And my friend is like, oh, my God, I gotta go see my mother in law today for Christmas. Let's go to this store. Let's look at these candles. Maybe I'll just freaking buy my mother in law candle. Because this is the gift you buy a mother in law, not the woman you're dating. So we walk to the store, Nicole, and it's a tiny boutique store. All they make is candles and tiny, tiny little perfumes. So we're looking around and I tell them, you know, this guy that I'm dating got me this candle yesterday. His name is Mr. Lambo.

[C]

And the.

[A]

The store is like tiny, the size of a bathroom. The lady's like, oh, yeah, I remember him. He just walked in here yesterday. He bought two candles very well. I'm like, what? She's like, yeah, he bought two candles. Exactly the same candles. He came in here, super nice guy. And I'm like, are you serious? Can I see the receipt? And she showed me the receipt, so I know it's true. Exactly. So you guys can't. I was so humiliated in front of my friend. I was so embarrassed. So he lied that he went there specifically for me and he bought two. Exactly. So I went home immediately. I texted him, and I said, can we do a video call? I need to do a video call because I need to look at your face and I need to talk to you. So we do a video call. And I said, so, did you go to the store to buy me the candle? And he started lying. Like, yes, yes. I said, okay, I'm going to give you one more chance. Who was the second candle for? And then he got red as a beat. And then he was like, oh, it was for my co worker. Because he has a co worker that he's really close with.

[C]

Yeah, but even if that was the truth, you should not be getting the same level of gift as a co worker. And why would he lie? Like, why? If it was just for a co worker, why would he lie first and say that he got it for you?

[A]

Bingo. Exactly. You just said, that's what I told him. I said I would never go and buy my client the exact same gift I'm buying you. Like, how insensitive. And then he's sitting there looking at me like, he didn't do anything wrong, Nicole. He's looking on video. Then he had the balls to say, well, listen, Catherine, I got out of the dating apps for you. I have been enabling our dates.

[C]

What?

[A]

And why?

[C]

Acting like him getting out of the dating apps is a favor.

[A]

Exactly. I'm doing the same. Right. Taiwan was also out of the dating apps. I'm very respectful, very loyal.

[C]

Which probably means he hasn't even been out of the dating apps this whole time. If he keeps saying that over and over again, I would be like, so you want to be on the dating apps? Because basically what he's telling you is like, he wants to be on those dating apps so badly, then him getting off of them for you is a gift. So in my mind, I'd be like, you're probably still on the dating apps. You keep mentioning it over and over again.

[A]

And I said, but I said the same thing. I'm doing the same thing for him. Right. So it's not a favor, but when he used the word enabling, he's like, I'm enabling Our dates. Like, while you're in a dates, because you're paying for freaking dinner. I'm enabling them as well. Right. Because I'm there with you. I'm spending a fortune every week getting ready for these dates. I look like a million bucks on these dates. I put you in one of the best car clubs in the country so you make new friends. I'm going out of my way for you, and you think it's okay like this?

[C]

It's not like he's like, scrambling up pennies to pay for the day.

[A]

No, but that's the thing. And he did not see anything wrong with buying the candle. He was like, I was in a hurry. I needed to get her, my co worker, a gift. So I was like, whatever, I might as well get the same. In his mind, he did not say, see anything wrong. How offensive that was.

[C]

Yeah. Also, is it really for a co worker? Like, what?

[A]

Right, Exactly. At that point, I'm like, I don't know if he's lying because I caught him on a lie. So it was all.

[C]

Because if it was just for a co worker, he wouldn't have said at first. He didn't get. He only got it for you. He would have just told you, like, that's he was lying, probably.

[A]

No, I agree with you. At that point, I'm like, I don't know who to believe. And I don't like lies because I. Especially in the beginning. Right. And especially something so insensitive like that. So I'm like, you know what? It's just too many red flags. And then I started wondering, and this is why I brought you here, because I first I asked my two best friends, like, am I the selfish one, the insensitive one? Should I just appreciate.

[C]

But you, you are enable. Like, you don't say no quick enough because, like, I think he found you. And he's like, she's perfect for me because she. You're so good on your side of the street. Like, you're doing. You didn't do anything wrong. So, like, you're great for him and you're also agreeable. So he's like, I hit the jackpot. This is somebody who, like, I can. He. It's like he can get all his needs met with you. And then because you're being so agreeable, he doesn't even have to worry about meeting your needs.

[A]

Yeah, no, exactly. I think I just kept going with the flow and agreeing with all of his plans. And when I opened my mouth, I felt like he was gaslighting me. Instead of listening to me, he would literally just say, oh, I'm paying for this and I'm paying for, and I'm doing that. But with the candle, I got so hurt. I got so offended. Like, I can't imagine a guy like, you said, what in your. In a man's mind. And I hope all the men there are out there are listening. You should never put the woman you're dating and sleeping within the same package with, you know, business gifts.

[C]

It's just also a candle. Like, that gift would be appropriate if you're not exclusive. If you just started dating, maybe. But, like, if you're exclusive, unless you really don't have the means. Women don't just want a candle if guys are listening. Like, even if he bought you, like, a massage or something, that was. You know what I mean?

[A]

Like. But, like, we talked about, you know, like, he had a bunch of Tom Ford perfumes, and we talked about Tom Ford and how I love. He knows I love Tom Ford. I went inside Sephora one day because my perfume ran out, and I bought myself the Tom Ford. He didn't pay for it. I paid for. For it. You know, we talked. You know what a woman likes, right? You could buy a million little things, little things to make that woman happy. So I. And, like, I agree with my guy friends. I think he did it on purpose. I think he wasn't interested in. In making me happy.

[C]

No, no. He doesn't care about your needs. He only cares about his needs.

[A]

Do you think this. This. This behavior is. I. I'm not sure, but I think this is some kind of narcissist.

[D]

Is.

[C]

He's something. Like, there's a chip missing in him. Like, okay, from the very beginning, the fact that he's like, I don't want to. Not even. Like, it's not even like, oh, I don't really like texting that much. It's. I don't want to think about you in between. Like, that is. There is something. There's a big. I don't know if he's a narcissist. I don't know what it is, but there's a big chip missing if he doesn't want to think about you. Also, the way the texts are so formal, it kind of makes me think, is there other women in the rotation? And he's just, like, copying and pasting, like, and putting your name in, and then someone else's name is.

[A]

Swore there were not. He swore. And I even forgot to tell you guys, by the way, on the third event, I took him the Christmas party of this. This car club. He exchanged number. That was a woman sitting next to him. She was the date of. Of a member of the club. She asked him for his number. You know, one of these bimbos, right? She asked him for his number. She said, give me your phone, give me your cell phone. I want to put my, my phone number on your cell phone. He gave it to her and she put her number. And a lot of people saw it. A lot of. He did that in front of all my friends. A lot of people saw. So he disrespected me. And I remember thinking, oh, my God, I am so humiliated. And I had this.

[C]

And when he did that, why were you not like, no, because I was.

[A]

I was like, listen, don't do this to me in front of my friends. You're embarrassing me. This girl came here with one another member of the club. You are with me. Don't do this to me in front of people. It's so embarrassing. You're humiliating me. Look at him.

[C]

Why does he need some other girl's number, right?

[A]

No. He said, oh, she asked me. I didn't know who she was. I said, but you don't do that in public.

[C]

In.

[A]

In the group of my friends that I introduce you to too, you know, like that.

[C]

No, he's just playing dumb. Why would a random woman ask for your number? What reason? Like, she's not a business contact.

[A]

She was, you know, these bimbles that are always around this clubs after like rich, successful guys. But regardless, he should have said, sorry, I'm here with my date. Give me your business card. Right? He could have been discreet about it, but he literally gave her. He. He got her his phone and gave it to her and she punched her number in and everybody saw it. And two girls of. Two of the girlfriends of this club, they came to me and said, hey, what is he doing? Why is he getting this girl's number right in front of you? This is so. And I was, I was embarrassed, you know, I was humiliated.

[C]

And did you ask him about it?

[A]

Yes, I did. And he was like, oh, you know, like you said, he played dumb. Like, oh, I didn't know. And I'm like, look, you have to.

[C]

He doesn't care about your feelings. That's the bottom line. He doesn't care how you feel. He thinks paying for dates is enough.

[A]

And it's not, right? And I think we should not have to teach men how to treat us in public.

[C]

No.

[A]

Period.

[C]

That, that is, that is grounds for breaking up with him right there. Getting a girl's or letting a girl take his number and a. Just because of that. But be in front of everyone and, you know, are bringing him into this world like he is. He only cares about himself. He probably wants to line up someone else. And he doesn't care about your feelings.

[A]

Yeah, no, that's how I felt. I was like, I can't believe. Exchange number with this woman. And you were there with me, and I saw how the other men treat all the other girlfriends all the while, and I'm like, why am I the only one being disrespected? So, yeah, at the end of the day, like you said, I think I put up with too much from this guy.

[C]

That's the one thing that. That's your issue. Like, you're. You're not. Like, you're not the wrong one, but you're putting up too much.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You're letting it slide. Like, it's like you'll see the bad thing, but then you'll. You're so forgiving, but then all that ends up happening is that you, like, you shouldn't be sitting there feeling embarrassed. He's the one acting badly. Right. But it's making you feel like you're. It's like he's treating you like you're not the valuable woman that you are.

[A]

Right. But this is why I wanted to bring you in, because I know so many women do this. Like, we see the red signs. We see the warnings. We see the warnings, and we keep giving passes. Like, this Was that perfect? This is why I'm putting the story right there. I talked to my team, and they were like, let's put this episode forward because we keep giving passes to men, misbehaving and treating us disrespectfully. But why? You know, because I think it's also.

[C]

Like, okay when a guy is, like, blatantly cheating on you. Or, like, it's like, easy, right? But this is, like, subtle bad behavior. And that I think women need to realize you need to say no to that too, because you're. You're enabling him. The more you are just like, okay, yeah, yeah, it's okay. You're enabling it, you know? And like, again, if he was doing more for you, like, some people are okay in those kinds of relationships. They'll look the other way if the person is cheating, if they're doing more. But what was he doing for you other than taking you out to dinner and paying a little bit less than what you needed for dog care?

[A]

Like, nothing. Nothing like. And he didn't want to have anything to do with my life. Like, for example, even the podcast, he knew. He knows I do the podcast. He loves podcasts. Never ever. Like, I would say, oh, look, this article came out about my podcast in the media. He would be like, oh, that's great, babe. Congratulations. That's it. He didn't ever. He was never interested for one second to be like, oh, let me see about her work. I showed him, oh, look, I'm number three in the USA charts this week.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I wanted to share, you know, my excitement with my partner. Nada, nada, nada, nada, nada.

[C]

He's missing an emotional, caring chip, like, big time. He just wants somebody who's gonna be there when he. His needs are. To fulfill his needs.

[A]

Yes, exactly. And by the way, so finishing the story, when I asked him about. Confronted about the candle and he realized he got caught in a lie, he looked at me and said, look, Cat, you know, I. One thing I really don't want in a relationship is drama.

[C]

Well, then stop creating drama.

[A]

No, but I'm like, I'm the drama, right? The guy gets hammered in an event, I have to carry him home. He's the one that lies to me and buys a post Christmas gift, like to me and some other woman. And it's my drama. I think it's his drama.

[D]

Right.

[A]

It wasn't my drama. I think his drama was getting caught.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think you have. You didn't do anything wrong. The only thing you did wrong was you allowed it for too long.

[A]

I agree with you. Thank you for validating.

[C]

I forgave him. Like, he like no. Or he like this? He does. The thing is, he doesn't want a real relationship. He doesn't want the emotional aspects. He just wants someone there by his side when he wants. When I want the date, you show up. When I want the exclusive you. But it's like he doesn't want the emotional, caring aspect of a relationship. That's the bottom line.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's important, especially to women.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah. One million percent. Because if the guy's avoidant, if he doesn't want to be. This is why I said the first date. That phrase should have. Should have been my red flag. If a guy tells you they don't want to know anything about your life, because a relationship is a two way street. One you need to meet halfway. You need to be interested in each other's. In each other's lives. Right?

[C]

Yeah. That was the red flag. Like you. He gave you the red flag from the start. Like, that is so odd like that. Like, that is like psycho almost that he doesn't, he doesn't care about. Like there's something really off with him.

[A]

Yeah. One million. So after that, we were. I had invited him to go to the Soho House for New Year's, right, With my friends, because he doesn't have any friends. We decided, no, we're not gonna do it. Let's part ways. This is impossible. And. And he said to me, yeah, I think I'm not meeting your needs.

[C]

I said, yeah, duh.

[A]

So he had, he had sent me money for the two Soho House tickets, right? So I said, okay, I'll refund you the tickets and I'm gonna see if I can resell your ticket. I ended up refunding him the money. Never resold his ticket. So I actually ended up making the stupid mistake as I ended up paying for his ticket myself. And he sent me a message. That's how formal this dude. He sent me a message, thank you for letting me know that you send me my funds back now.

[C]

Now.

[A]

I wish you would have listened. Please don't send me the money back. Take a girlfriend. Enjoy yourself. I'm so sorry about this mess. I'm so sorry that I did this to you. Nothing. To the very end, he was this cold, bizarre person. Formal, like, just worrying about he. His life and his money, and he's done.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he's not the kind of guy that can be in a real relationship.

[A]

No, I agree with too many women.

[C]

That would be happy in that dynamic long term. Because like I said, a lot of women are with these cold businessmen, but they are giving them, they're giving them money, they're buying them things, they're providing these women that only want some women only want the finances and like. But he's not even doing that. Like, it's like he's. It's like he's supposed to be that kind of rich guy that you just look the other way with, but he's not doing the rich guy things for you, right? So it's like, what is the point?

[A]

Exactly. And let me tell you, I'm one of the easy ones because I'm not this girls, you know, there's a lot of women in Beverly's that like, pay for everything. And I'm not like that, right? I don't want a guy to pay for my bills or anything. Like, and I told him that many times, but of course I want a guy to be Respectful and considerate and kind. Like, I think we all do, right? We all want a guy like that. And I think so.

[C]

This is what I'm curious about. When he looks like I remembered you, did he say what it was about you, or was he just like, I remembered you?

[A]

Like, did he say a combination of things? He's like, obviously he loved the way I look. He loved that I was so intelligent. The fact that we both live really, really close to each other, which obviously, that really helps, right, if you're dating someone in la.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We're literally like two blocks away. And in Beverly Hills, like, you know, I. I do. I make my own life around here. And he has the same lifestyle, so it was just very convenient for us. And that's why he says, I love your personality. I like the way you communicate. You're the girl I want to date. That's what he said. But who knows, you know? And of course, when we started having sex, I know the sex was really hot for him. I'm not gonna lie. It was getting better for me. It was okay. It wasn't fabulous. I was exaggerating to make him feel better about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But obviously for him was probably the best sex he ever had. Of course. But, like, it's like, this is what I'm doing. The way he was treating me out of bed, you know, was like two personalities. Like bipolar personality disorder with this dude.

[C]

You know, what was he giving you other than just having somebody to, like, date? Like, exactly.

[A]

Not what was. What was.

[C]

Like, what was the reason for you to hold on.

[A]

No, exactly. That's what I told him. I said, you know, when I'm not with you, I feel complete, complete disconnect. I feel like I'm completely single. The reason is, like, I told you, you know, he kept saying, oh, next Friday we're gonna do this. Next Saturday we're gonna do this. And I'm like, okay, whatever. You know, I'm so freaking busy the whole week. It's kind of nice to have this guy that likes me plan a date next weekend. So I kind of let it go to see if he was gonna get better. But I agree with you. Like, I should have listened to all the red flags and put a stop, stop to it way sooner than I did. And you just said, the mistake I made is that I'm so lenient. I said, yes, yes, yes. And he kept abusing it more and more and more. And his behavior kept getting more and more out of line, I think, to the point that is just blatantly. Disrespectful, you know?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like.

[C]

Like getting your girl's number also, what's. I don't know what's going on with that girl, but, like, in front of, like, that is absolute. I don't give a F about you.

[A]

Oh, yeah, exactly. These girls listen, when you're in this car, clubs, a lot of rich men, there is always some bimbo out there. She's gonna try to get a number from another guy to see if she has another date. But he should know better.

[C]

He.

[A]

Because all the other men there were glued to their dates. Super respectful. Everybody better. He disrespected me and he disrespected the member that took that girl.

[C]

And did he say, like, I love you to you or. No?

[A]

Oh, we never got to that point.

[C]

No, that's also a red flag. How long? I mean, what, three months?

[A]

Three and a half months? No, I love you. Right. But. But he was definitely, like, I'm very content. I'm really happy with you. With you. I'm really happy with our relationship. I really enjoy being with you. I enjoy being like, I care about you.

[C]

Was he asking about, like, your feelings? Was he asking about, like, your family?

[A]

No, never. Like, and he knows my family. He knows, like, all the, like, the little situations about my sister and my nephew. He knows every, like, the complexities of my life. I would try to open up to him, he would kind of listen and change the subject. Like you said, when he wasn't with me, that's it, you know? But that's the end of the story. I broke. We ended up breaking up, like, literally one day before New Year's. And I felt such relief. And to end the story, I want to remind everybody that January 1st was New Year's. Right? Six days later, we got hit with the LA fires. And you as well, because you're in la. Everybody reached out, right? Even my ex boyfriends reached out because we are in la. I'm lucky that I'm in Beverly Hills. The fires didn't come here, but we had a ton of smoke. We were scared. Everybody was, like, panicking.

[C]

It was traumatic.

[A]

He did not send me one message. What? He was the closest person to me. Literally six days. Because he doesn't care. Exactly.

[C]

The second you guys broke up, it's like you're out of his mind.

[A]

Exactly. Like I didn't even exist. Like, a computer deleted a file and I was really, really shocked. To me, this is why I think he's a narcissist, because he doesn't Care. Yeah. Like I said, even my ex boyfriends, people from other countries, people from other states, friends from Instagram. Right. Everybody reached out to everybody. Like, are you guys especially single people? Right? Are you okay? Do you need help with your dogs? Are you going out of town? We all kind of try to help each other, and this dude is literally, like, two blocks from me. He didn't send me, even out of gratitude because of everything I did for him. He didn't send me one message. I did not hear one peep from this guy.

[C]

Yeah, like, the people who are listening, like, if they don't care about you emotionally, it's not going to get better. Yeah, like that. That kind of thing doesn't get better. It's like he just wanted you along for his ride.

[A]

Yep, exactly. I'm so glad I brought you here because I wanted to make sure I'm not the crazy psycho one. No, you actually shop good on your.

[C]

Side of the street. You communicate. You're trying to give him what he needs. You're trying to make him feel good. You're like, you're doing all the things right on your side of the street. It's just, he is not good for a, like, emotionally connected relationship.

[A]

No. Yeah. Moral of the story, right, Nicole? Don't ignore the initial red flags and red warnings. Do you agree?

[C]

Yeah. Because it doesn't get better. Especially if that person, like, you talk to them and they make like, okay. If you talk to them about the issues and they make you wrong, then you can just be certain it's never going to get better. Like, that should be your sign. Okay, so you ignore a little bit of red flags.

[A]

Fine.

[C]

Talk to the guy, talk to the woman, whoever it is. If they don't realize they're wrong and they make you wrong, you need to go because that is your indication. It will never get better. They literally don't want to change.

[A]

Yeah, they will. There you go. Now we know.

[D]

I'm.

[A]

I'm hopefully I'm not gonna make this mistake again.

[C]

No, you need someone way better.

[A]

I deserve someone way better. Guys, if you have a similar story, if anybody has a worst story that you want to share, send it over. Contact a cat on the loose dot com. My team is gonna look through everything. We want to bring more of these interesting dating stories so we can all learn together. And we will invite Nicole back. And if you want to find her work, which is amazing, I love it. Your insights are always on some point. Tell us your Instagram again, Nicole. Yep, it's at.

[C]

Nicole Moore. Love and that's more like Demi Moore.

[A]

I love it. And I'm putting your link here on this episode because I think you're fantastic. Thank you so much for helping. Thank you so much for. And I'm happy you're safe all the way in Palm Springs.

[C]

We've been la. People have been traumatized.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

A little bit. I'm very. I feel very lucky and very blessed that everything is okay here in Beverly Hills. Skills. But, yeah, we've been taking a hit. Thank you, Nicole. Love you so much. I'll talk to you very soon. Guys, be safe out there and follow your instincts. See you guys very soon. Bye. And this one is for everyone that loves to play poker and is planning a trip to Las Vegas. I just came back from Las Vegas. I found out about this and I want to share with you guys because I had so much fun. I'm inviting you to go check out the most fun, most private poker game in town, held right inside Aria's resort VIP poker room. It's called table one, and I love the name. And it's very fitting because this is the most exclusive, hottest poker table in town right now. Even if you're not that into poker or new to the game and want to try it out, this is a great opportunity to network with businessmen, athletes and celebrities in a super exclusive environment. Mr. Beast has played there. Dan Bilzerian has played there. Golf pros have played in it. It's like an elite, exclusive social club, but also a really, really fun, cool environment. And you're gonna play Texas no limit. Hold them and you're gonna have some. So much fun. It's blowing up. Definitely one of the hottest places in all of Las Vegas right now. However, your name needs to be on the list in order for you to gain access. So make sure you send me a message if you want to do it through Instagram. Cat Zamuto. Z A M M u t o DM there or text me or WhatsApp on 1310-692-0578 to reserve your seat for priority access. And I am going to give you some incredible special comps that are only available to my guests. You guys gotta listen to this. They will reimburse your Aria hotel fee for up to $350 for each day you play the game. They will give you private transportation from the airport to the hotel. And they will give you access to special airfare deals for business and first class tickets. I mean, these guys will totally roll out the red carpet for you. And you're going to have so much fun. So if you're planning a trip to Las Vegas, let me hook you up with table one. And you are going to love it. Don't forget, send me a message.