Kat on the Loose | Love, Sex, L.A. With Award-Winning Writer Alex Rizik – An Organic Episode Around the Streets of L.A.

Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Alexandria Rizik (award-winning writer, filmmaker, owner of Poetry in a Bottle and founder of Love Sex LA)
Date: June 26, 2024

Episode Overview

This episode of Kat on the Loose is a lively, unscripted exploration of modern dating in Los Angeles through the voices of host Kat Zammuto and guest Alexandria ("Alex") Rizik. Instead of recording in the studio, the pair roamed West Hollywood and Beverly Hills, mingling with locals in bars, lounges, and casual spots to discover whether the stereotypes about L.A. dating hold true. The result is a candid, laughter-filled reflection on love, sex, heartbreak, and empowerment in one of America’s most infamous dating cities.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. About Alex Rizik & Her Projects

• [01:00 – 03:09]
  • Kat introduces Alex, highlighting her award-winning writing, successful wine label (Poetry in a Bottle), and the launch of her printed/digital newspaper Love Sex LA.
    • Kat: “Not only you did it digitally, but you actually printed the paper, which is very impressive these days. It's very old school.” [03:19]
    • Alex explains the nostalgic decision to print her newspaper and her fondness for “bringing it back” vintage-style. [03:26]

2. Social Experiment: Exploring the L.A. Dating Scene

• [03:29 – 05:49]
  • Kat and Alex recount their week hopping around Beverly Hills to investigate local dating culture.
  • Their first venture: heading to a sports bar during NBA finals, expecting crowds, but finding it “dead” instead. [04:19]
  • Encounter at Wally’s: meeting a “chaotic” lawyer who refused to be recorded.
    • Kat on the lawyer’s outrageous comment: “He was like, oh, then you're never going to be in a relationship. Because the only reason why any man would stay in a long term relationship with someone is if they have a kid together.” [07:08]
    • Alex’s reaction: “But he has a kid and he's not in a relationship.” [07:17]
  • Discussion on men’s reluctance to be on record—Kat’s theory: “If you do something amazing and if you're a nice guy, you have nothing to worry about. If you do something really, really shitty and crappy and douchey, very likely you're going to become an episode.” [05:58]

3. Does Geography Matter in Dating?

• [09:22 – 18:24]
  • L.A.’s spread-out geography makes location a dealbreaker for many. Both admit resistance to dating outside their local “bubble” (Beverly Hills & West Hollywood).
    • Kat: “To me... if I’m just meeting someone and he’s like, I live in Burbank, I live in the Valley... It’s just really, really far. And I don’t want to be too bougie about it...” [16:25]
    • Alex: “Even two miles at certain times of the day...could take an hour.” [17:15]
  • Kat jokes about needing a “passport” to see her Valley ex-boyfriend, highlighting L.A. dating’s hyperlocal bias. [18:24]

4. Dating Expectations, Pressure, and Mindset

• [12:07 – 15:19]
  • The hosts dissect how personal urgency (biological clocks, social pressure) shapes women's approach to dating.
    • Kat: “You cannot skip the process of getting to know the person and dating and enjoying and falling in love...” [13:04]
  • On marriage & commitment post-divorce:
    • Kat: “I don’t know if I would do, like, married on paper...it’s a business transaction...But I would live together if I was madly in love.” [13:48]

5. Alex’s “Love Sex LA” Columns: Real-Life Vulnerabilities

• [19:23 – 28:32]
  • Kat praises Alex’s courage in writing about her personal heartbreak in Love Sex LA.
    • Story of “The Storm” (a guy Alex met on Raya, “enemies-to-lovers” vibes, who ghosted her then reappeared after reconciling and splitting with his ex-wife):
      • Kat: “He disappeared.” [22:02]
      • Alex: “I have a poet's heart...I had this moment of very human weakness.” [23:01]
  • Kat presses for details about whether the sex justified the “Hermosa commute.”
    • Kat (jokingly): “So if you were doing that, the sex must have been, like, the best sex of your life.” [25:17]
    • Alex admits, “No,” and blames it on her poet’s heart for chasing feelings over logic. [28:32]

6. Ghosting, Repurposing, and Dating Etiquette

• [35:42 – 39:47]
  • A story about “Mr. Socks,” who ghosted Kat after a lackluster intimate encounter where he left his socks on (“that's bizarre!” – Alex [33:17]).
  • Discussion on why people ghost and whether it's sometimes “kinder” not to explain (“At least I can imagine they just fell in love with me and can’t handle it!” – Alex [36:43])
  • Kat’s “repurposing” approach: even if romance fails, “can I make this guy a friend? A client?” [37:50]
    • Alex: “Dating is also...just a form of networking!” [39:50]

7. Bar-Hopping Diaries: A Cross-Section of L.A. Singles

• [40:14 – 54:28]
  • Recounting their week’s fieldwork in venues from the Peninsula Hotel to Barney’s Beanery.
    • At the Peninsula: observed a man making out with a woman, but denying he was dating her to Kat/Alex when she went to the bathroom (“So rude!” – Alex [42:04]).
    • At Dante/Maybourne: reflected on whether “staring” at strangers while on a date is disrespectful. (“If two super hot guys walk by, I mean, I wouldn’t gawk, but I would look...” – Kat [48:02])
    • At Barney’s Beanery, met younger men who echoed the grim L.A. dating sentiment.
      • Alex: “Some of these [20-something] guys had the same kind of negative thought process about dating in L.A....” [53:15]
    • General consensus from men of all ages: “It’s a shit show out there.” [54:08]

8. Dating Mindset: Is It Really L.A., or Is It You?

• [56:21 – 61:10]
  • Both agree everyone—regardless of gender—finds L.A. dating tough.
  • The importance of open mindset:
    • Kat: “If you decide everybody sucks...everybody’s going to suck.” [57:40]
    • Alex: “Never give up on love...because the right person for you is out there trying to find you.” [60:36]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On “the lawyer” at Wally’s:
  • Kat: “The only reason why any man would stay in a long term relationship is if they have a kid together.” [07:08]
  • Alex, wryly: “But he has a kid and he's not in a relationship.” [07:17]
• On repurposing ex-dates:
  • Kat: “Can they be a friend? Are they capable of being a good friend or can they be a client? ...let’s do business and make money together.” [37:50]
• On L.A. logistics:
  • Alex: “Even two miles at certain times of the day is like, take an hour.” [17:15]
• On “Mr. Socks”:
  • Kat: “If you’re that lazy to have sex with socks, like, I never want to have sex with you again.” [33:32]
• Summing up L.A. men’s attitude:
  • Kat: “If a guy wants a relationship, he’s going to date with intention. These dudes, they're full of shit. They don’t want to be in a relationship.” [43:21]
• On not giving up on love:
  • Kat: “Never give up on love. Because some people get so tired, they’re like, ‘Oh, I give up.’ Never give up.” [60:36]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:00] Alex’s biography, writing, and wine venture
• [03:29] Explaining the “out and about” format for the episode
• [05:49] The Wally’s lawyer encounter
• [07:08] Outrageous dating expectation quote
• [09:22] Geography and local dating “bubbles”
• [13:04] On skipping steps in dating/marriage pressure
• [19:23] Discussing Alex’s “Storm” story and vulnerability
• [25:17] “Was the sex worth it?” and poet’s heart
• [35:42] “Mr. Socks” and ghosting
• [37:50] The concept of “repurposing” dates
• [40:14] Peninsula Hotel: men denying their dates
• [46:54] Is staring on a date disrespectful?
• [51:02] Barney’s Beanery / generational negativity
• [54:08] Consensus: “everyone thinks it’s a shit show”
• [57:40] Mindset creates your experience
• [60:36] Final message: “never give up on love”

Episode Takeaways

• Dating in L.A. is tough, but everyone—regardless of age or gender—finds it challenging.
• Geography and logistics matter, but your dating mindset is likely even more important.
• “Repurposing” ex-dates can turn heartbreaks into valuable friendships or business relationships.
• Vulnerability and honesty, especially in storytelling (a la Alex’s newspaper), help normalize the ups and downs of modern romance.
• Don’t ghost—be kind, repurpose, and treat people the way you would want to be treated.
• Despite the obstacles, Kat insists: Never give up on love—the right person is out there looking for you, too.

Follow Alex Rizik:

• Instagram: @alexandriarezik
• Love Sex LA Instagram: @lovesexla
• Newspaper (digital): Available via link shared on their socials and at Beverly Hills Newsstand

Follow Kat Zammuto and Kat on the Loose:

• Podcast on Apple/Spotify/iHeartRadio
• YouTube: Kat on the Loose Show

Memorable Sign-Off:
Kat: “Never give up. Keep going. Because the right person for you is out there trying to find you.” [60:46]