← Kat on the Loose
Kat on the Loose
LOVE SEX LA WITH AWARD WINNING WRITER ALEX RIZIK - AN ORGANIC EPISODE AROUND THE STREETS OF LA
00:58:58
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- [00:01]
A
Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.
- [00:03]
B
Zoe, this thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man. Santa.
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A
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- [00:08]
B
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A
Of course he did.
- [00:12]
B
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- [01:00]
A
Visit t mobile.com so my guest this week is incredibly talented and super, super nice Alexandria Rizik. She's an award winning filmmaker. She's the author of three books. She also owns a really, really cool, fabulous wine brand called Poetry in a Bottle. And for those of you who know me, know how much I love wines. And she started a really cool newspaper called Love Sex la. And this is how I met her. In this newspaper she writes about her adventures in the world of dating and being single in la. And we talked and we realized we have so much in common. So for this episode, we decided to go out and about on the streets of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood and talk to people about the dating scene. Is it really difficult to date in la? Does dating have anything to do with geography? How do people feel about it? We had so much fun and we document everything on this really, really great episode with the super talented, adorable Alex. I hope you guys enjoy it and I hope you guys relate. Alex, welcome to Cut on the Loose.
- [02:10]
B
Thank you for having me.
- [02:11]
A
It's a huge pleasure and I have to say, and we're gonna explain what's going on, but I've had such a fun week with you.
- [02:18]
B
So much fun. Too much fun. I'm a Little tired.
- [02:22]
A
So much fun that you brought your wine here, which I am madly in love with. But because it's Friday, we were like, oh, let's, let's do like a happy hour episode. But we were both a little hungover, so we're like, maybe not right now.
- [02:34]
B
Literally. Literally. I'm like, I'm still recovering. Yeah. All the champagne last night.
- [02:39]
A
Same. But before we start the episode, I want to say congratulations on all your fabulous, fabulous work. The wine is poetry in a bottle. I'm gonna Shameless plug it, because first, I love the name.
- [02:49]
B
Oh, thank you.
- [02:50]
A
I'm a sucker for great wine. And you did it all by yourself.
- [02:54]
B
I did, I did.
- [02:56]
A
What an entrepreneur you are.
- [02:57]
B
Thank you. Well, look, coming from you, that means so much.
- [03:00]
A
I would love to have my own wine, but I would not even know how to start, like. So I'm very impressed. Very impressed. And the name is super adorable. Thank you.
- [03:09]
B
I appreciate it.
- [03:09]
A
And the paper that you started, you are an award winning writer, like I told everybody before, and I'm in love with your paper as well. Love Sex la.
- [03:18]
B
Thank you. Yeah.
- [03:19]
A
Not only you did it digitally, but you actually printed the paper, which is very impressive these days.
- [03:25]
B
I know, it's very old school, right?
- [03:26]
A
It's very old school.
- [03:27]
B
Bringing it back. We're bringing it back.
- [03:29]
A
I love vintage. I love old school. So congratulations on everything. Thank you. So let's explain to people what's going on. When we met, I said, I love this chick. Yeah, she writes really well. She's writing Love Sex LA about dating. I gotta do an episode with her. But then we decided before we do the episode, let's go all over Beverly Hills because we both live in Beverly Hills and let's see how the dating scene is out there.
- [03:54]
B
Yeah. And what an experiment, huh?
- [03:55]
A
What an experiment. It's been a little crazy fun. So on Monday we decide because it was one of the. The NBA final games, so that's how.
- [04:06]
B
Little I go out and I don't watch sports.
- [04:09]
A
You don't watch sports. But I thought Monday I called you and I'm like, alex, it's the NBA finals. Let's go to the busiest sports bar in, in Beverly Hills. And it's gonna be packed with guys.
- [04:20]
B
Oh, my gosh. It was like. It was dead. It was dead.
- [04:25]
A
So we get there and you were so game for it. You were like, okay, it's Monday night, let's go. Yeah. But we show up there and the bar was like crickets, crickets, crickets. So we didn't talk to anybody there.
- [04:38]
B
Right.
- [04:38]
A
There was nothing going on then from there we decided to go to Wally's, which is also one of the top bars, Happy hours in Beverly Hills. I did do like a really famous episode called the Plunger like a couple of years ago. It was so we get in there, it was very chill, but there was a crazy asshole.
- [04:55]
B
Oh my gosh.
- [04:56]
A
Let's start by talking about him for a minute.
- [04:58]
B
The lawyer.
- [04:59]
A
The lawyer. And he was like, he didn't let us film him. He didn't let us record his answers. And he was like, you girls are gonna talk about me on the podcast.
- [05:08]
B
Oh, we're gonna talk about you. We're gonna talk about you.
- [05:11]
A
I know.
- [05:12]
B
Well, I have a theory too. If a guy doesn't want to be filmed like that or like followed on social media, I feel like they have a girlfriend or something they don't want. You know.
- [05:19]
A
There is, yeah, I, I, this is what I feel. I feel they're either gonna do something sh. Going to say something really bad. And cuz I remember this guy said to me, oh, everybody's going to recognize my voice if I let you said that. Yeah. Cuz I was like, let me record you cuz your answer, what you're saying to me so absurd. And he was like, no people are going to recognize my. Because he is a very successful attorney in the area. And he was like, no people are going to recognize my voice. And I think if you were saying something amazing or that you're proud of, why would you care?
- [05:50]
B
Well, exactly, exactly. Because for me I wouldn't care talking about really anything or being, you know, recorded Because. Right. Nothing to hide.
- [05:58]
A
That's like a lot of guys always say that to me. Are you going to talk about me on the podcast? And my answer is this. If you do something amazing and if you're a nice guy, you have nothing to worry about. If you do something really, really shitty and crappy and douchey, very likely you're going to become an episode. And even worse if you're insignificant, we're going to forget about it. We're never going to talk about it.
- [06:21]
B
Well, and here's the thing. As journalists and writer writers, it's our job to describe you and share it with the world. Right, Exactly.
- [06:27]
A
I love you. Exactly.
- [06:29]
B
It's our job. It's our duty.
- [06:30]
A
Yes, it's our duty. So there you go. Anyhow, so this guy, he tells me he's a successful attorney, he has a daughter, not an ex wife with a baby mama. And then he comes, he Shows me pictures of baby mom. She's like this gorgeous, supermodel looking person. Yeah. And then he starts telling me that they never got married. La la, la. And then he asks about me. And I said, yeah, I've been married, no kids. And then he was like, what do you mean no kids? I said, yeah, I never wanted to have kids. It didn't happen for me, whatever. And then he had the balls to say to me, I think this was one of the most outrageous things I ever heard a guy say. He was like, oh, then you're never going to be in a relationship. Because the only reason why any man would stay in a long term relationship with someone is if they have a kid together.
- [07:18]
B
But he has a kid and he's not in a relationship.
- [07:20]
A
Exactly. He was like, no guy is going to stay with you girls. And then he was like, by the way, I never heard women before ever that said they don't want to have kids.
- [07:29]
B
Well, after meeting him, I'm like, I definitely don't want to have kids with someone like that. I'll tell you that right now.
- [07:35]
A
But it's not unusual. There are a lot of women that don't want to have kids.
- [07:39]
B
Right, right.
- [07:40]
A
As a personal choice.
- [07:42]
B
Yeah, for sure. And like, that's the whole thing is it shouldn't matter. You know what I mean? I mean, if that's why you stay with someone is because you have a kid with them.
- [07:50]
A
Right.
- [07:50]
B
You need to reevaluate everything.
- [07:51]
A
I agree. And you know, I honestly think nowadays it's not reason enough for most men, like, if you get a guy pregnant, if they don't, like, if they don't love you. A lot of guys are not, you know, they don't stay with a person because the kids, such as in his case, by the way, Mr. Douche, right? He was not married to the.
- [08:12]
B
Gosh.
- [08:13]
A
Yeah, that's what I said to him. Why aren't you with the baby mama? And he was like.
- [08:18]
B
He couldn't come up with an answer.
- [08:19]
A
Exactly.
- [08:20]
B
I feel like he was like flirting with you though. Like, that was.
- [08:22]
A
No, he was not. He kept saying like, oh, look at my baby mama's photo. Look how gorgeous she is. She's like six foot, whatever. And oh, look at this chick that I'm dating from Paraguay. Look, she's like, looks like a model. She was like totally showing off. No, we were not doing, like flirty. I was literally grilling him and asking him questions because he was so freaking outrageous.
- [08:46]
B
Outrageous. He was, he was very chaotic.
- [08:49]
A
Yeah, he was very Chaotic. And the guy that was talking to you on your side was a weirdo.
- [08:54]
B
I think he was very inebriated. I think he was very drunk.
- [08:57]
A
Just so polite. Inebriated.
- [08:59]
B
Like, I think he was drunk. He was sitting there telling me that he was an actor from a bunch of like old, like cult type films from a while ago, like maybe the 80s and 90s.
- [09:10]
A
Did you get his name? We should.
- [09:12]
B
Yes, I do, but I forget what it is. I feel like it might be in my phone though, because he.
- [09:17]
A
Let's Google him, see if it's true. Yeah, but he was like, I'm going to take you to the movies.
- [09:22]
B
I know.
- [09:23]
A
And then he told you he lived in Burbank.
- [09:25]
B
I know, I know. And I'm like, well, that goes into our whole thing about geography we were talking about. Because. And it's funny, I was talking to someone else today about this and like some other friends of mine about local.
- [09:35]
A
Geography or a usage. We're going to explain to you guys because it's a very important conversation.
- [09:40]
B
Yeah, yeah, I feel like we were talking about. You and I were originally talking about geography in terms of like people how they feel about dating in LA versus other locations.
- [09:50]
A
Yes.
- [09:51]
B
And I was talking to some people about it too. And I feel like it was kind of mixed reviews. Like there's people like you who are like, if you just want to have fun and don't take it like super seriously and put out a negative energy towards it, you're gonna, you know, have things come back to you that are. Receive things that are not super negative. You know what I mean? And like have okay. Or good experiences. Right? Yeah, but I was talking to someone who was originally from here, but they live between New York and Miami now. And he said Miami is the worst place today.
- [10:21]
A
That's what everybody's saying. Yeah, but they.
- [10:23]
B
He liked New York. He said New York was the best place.
- [10:25]
A
But he's a guy. He's a guy, so. Yeah, that's. So let's talk about the geography situation for a while because a few days ago it was in the news that Miami was voted the worst. I mean, I lived in Miami and I agree, Miami's shit show in terms of dating. Yeah, but it literally was in the news. That is the worst place. Like all of Florida is the worst place to date in the United States. And then the LA girls, I saw a bunch of them, including like a super famous matchmaker who I had on the show before. She was like, no, LA is the worst. Everybody's so superficial and all the actors and then the New York girls. I even have a friend in New York that wants to get married. They say that there are not enough guys there. And, you know, it's too many women for not enough guys. So I feel. That's why I was saying to you, if you decide, no matter where you are, if you decide that it's going to be shitty, I really believe that it becomes your reality.
- [11:21]
B
I totally. But that's like, with everything in life, right? Like, career, relationships, anything kind of goes like that, you know, Whatever you put out there is what you're going to get back.
- [11:30]
A
That's how I feel. So these girls, I think if you're a pessimist, like, as much as you want to be in a great relationship. Right. I know dating can be tedious and it can be tough and all this crap, but it's part of the process. So you have two ways to look at it. Like you say, you can even enjoy it and have fun in the process and really enjoy your life in the meantime. Or like a lot of these women do, they're like, oh, my God, I'm never gonna find the man of my dreams. It's competition, competition. What am I gonna do to get the guy? You feel like, you know, they just put this negativity towards it. And I really feel the guys feel that vibe.
- [12:08]
B
The pressure, the pressure. I don't like pressure, so I don't like pressure either. Now, do you think it's also because you're someone that does not want to have kids? Do you think a lot of people have deadlines for themselves? Like, women have a deadline because of a biological clock or they have a certain age they want to be married by. Is that, do you think, probably right?
- [12:26]
A
I think yes. I think a lot of. A lot of girls in their 30s, in their late 20s, they want to have a family. And I know a person like that. I'm not even going to say who it is, but she's like, I want to get married, have kids, Period. Period. Okay, I completely understand that. But you cannot skip all the steps of the ladder. Like, you cannot say, hi, nice to meet you. I want to get married and have kids. Because even if the guy wants the same, they're going to be like, whoa, you cannot skip the process of getting to know the person and dating and enjoying and falling in love and, you know, deciding that you're going to build a life together.
- [13:05]
B
Yeah. And you don't want to do it with the wrong person.
- [13:08]
A
Exactly.
- [13:08]
B
Because if you force something with the.
- [13:09]
A
Wrong person, you're probably gonna backfire, backfire, backfire. And if you and I do see girls like that a lot. Yeah. Rushing it. And I think, you know, for each their own. Who the hell am I to give anybody opinions about dating? Because obviously, I'm still single. I was in a shitty marriage for a long time. We're doing the podcast, try to learn, you know, how to date smarter. But I'm not in a relationship yet. But I definitely don't think I would rush marriage. Like, I didn't rush the first time, but I don't think I would ever rush marriage. Like, in my case, I would really enjoy the process when I meet the right person.
- [13:44]
B
Yeah. Would you ever get married again?
- [13:46]
A
Yeah. So we were talking about that.
- [13:47]
B
Yeah.
- [13:49]
A
I don't know if I would do, like, married on paper. Like, sign the piece of paper.
- [13:55]
B
Right.
- [13:56]
A
Because I do. I do believe it. Especially I interviewed Christina Royce. She's one of the top divorce attorneys in the United States. She divorced several famous celebrities, including Shannon Tatum, Elizabeth Banks, she. Arnold Schwarzenegger. She's fantastic. You guys should listen to the episode before you get married. And like, she said. Yeah, no, like she was saying, it's a business transaction. You know, you're literally signing a document, and you need to know what you're signing. So obviously, when we're in love, we don't want to think about that. We want to think. But I love him, and I want to go on a honeymoon and all this stuff. But you need to do your homework and decide if it's for you or not. And I just don't know if I want to go through that process again. I mean, I'm not gonna say never, but I would live together if I was madly in love.
- [14:44]
B
Yeah, it's hard. I feel like it's hard these days, too, because look at even just talking about dating. We feel like people are struggling to date. Marriage is, like, a whole nother level. Right.
- [14:53]
A
Marriage is a whole other level of commitment. And what I love about you is that you're so accomplished. You're still so young, but you're not. Not, like, desperate to get married. You're taking your time, and I think that's a much better vibe, regardless of in whatever age you are. I think that's the vibe you should approach the dating game.
- [15:15]
B
Totally.
- [15:15]
A
I think you have smaller chances of being burned in the future.
- [15:19]
B
I think so, too, if you do that. Yeah.
- [15:22]
A
Now, backtracking, because we started talking about the guy from Burbank, and I know we're gonna get a Lot of backlash from this one. But we gotta talk about it. We talked about, yeah, geography, like United States geography. And my opinion is, I don't think has anything to do with geography. I think has to do with your mindset. But let's talk about local. Local geography. Because to me, we both live in Beverly Hills. And even if you guys don't live in Beverly Hills, I believe most markets in the world have the same issue. For example, living in Manhattan is not the same thing as living in Long beach or New Jersey, or living in Miami beach is not the same thing as living in Hialeah or Doral. It's two completely different universes. And you and I live in Beverly Hills. I admit I am very, very jaded, to use a nice word, when it comes to dating somebody in certain areas of the greater Los Angeles area. Because I don't want a long distance because LA is huge.
- [16:24]
B
It is huge.
- [16:25]
A
And.
- [16:25]
B
And we were. I was talking to someone the other day and they were talking about how it's just like the driving situation can be a nightmare. Yeah, it could be a nightmare. Yeah. Like, especially, we all know, like, certain times of the day traffic in LA is awful. Yeah.
- [16:41]
A
So like the guy that you were talking to at the bar, I don't think he was your type of guy anyhow. But to me, like, if I'm just meeting someone and he's like, I live in Burbank, I live in the Valley. I live in like Orange County.
- [16:55]
B
Orange county, that's far.
- [16:57]
A
Yeah, Orange. It's. I mean, it's. It's just really, really far. And I don't want to be too bougie about it because, you know, people are like, oh, you live in Beverly Hills. You're like a boo. I'm not a bougie person in general. I think I'm very down to earth, but I would love to meet a guy like within like two or three months.
- [17:15]
B
I know, right? Even two miles at certain times of the day is like, take an hour.
- [17:20]
A
You're worse than me.
- [17:21]
B
It's so bad. It could be really nightmare.
- [17:26]
A
Well, this was here, for example. We are here in West Hollywood, the studio. Yeah. And we live in Beverly Hills. This was alone today, a 20 minute drive.
- [17:34]
B
It kept going up on when I put it in my maps or whatever, the time kept going up and I'm like, what is going on and why did it take me this way?
- [17:41]
A
But I would date a guy in West Hollywood.
- [17:43]
B
Yeah, well, that's pretty close.
- [17:45]
A
But I.
- [17:45]
B
In the bubble.
- [17:46]
A
Yeah. God's honest truth. I don't think I would date a guy in the Valley unless everything else was fantastic about this guy.
- [17:54]
B
Like he was the full package, he was worth the drive.
- [17:56]
A
Yeah. Then I would be and then I would ask him, are you open minded to move if we really fall in love?
- [18:03]
B
Yeah. Though that's a good question.
- [18:04]
A
Because if he told me no, I'm dead set in retiring in the Valley. That would be a no go for me.
- [18:11]
B
You're a Beverly Hills girl. You're. What's the farthest you've ever. Like, who, who like location wise. A guy that you've dated that's like not within your little bubble.
- [18:21]
A
Yeah. So the, My ex boyfriend lived in the Valley.
- [18:24]
B
Oh.
- [18:25]
A
And we always joke that, you know, I told you the joke. Like, you know, for. I don't know if people that they're not gonna relate it if they're not in this area. But like when you go into the Valley, right. We go through the canyon and you go up and up and up the canyon. Yeah, the Mulholland is like the flat, flat line there. And then you start going down the valley. And I used to always joke with him like, oh my God, I gotta go to your place. Hold on, let see if I find my passport. Because that's the border across to the valley. And yeah, he made fun of it as well.
- [18:57]
B
Yeah.
- [18:57]
A
But he was dead set. He's happy there.
- [19:01]
B
Yeah.
- [19:01]
A
He's like, I like it, I don't mind it. It's very central to go everywhere. Like he. So that became a problem for us and other reasons of course, but it was an issue. It was annoying.
- [19:15]
B
Yeah. Like the location becomes an issue probably when there's other issues. But like it doesn't help because LA is so big. It's got like all these little pockets of.
- [19:23]
A
So let's talk about your first issue of your newspaper because it's kind of the same situation. You put out a story of this guy that you were dating. And I said that to you last night, I think was very brave of you, by the way, because one thing is when we go through this dating shit show, but another thing is like opening up like, and say yeah, this really sucked.
- [19:46]
B
Yeah, it's very vulnerable.
- [19:48]
A
Very vulnerable. So I was, when I was reading it, I was very impressed. Like, wow, it's amazing that she's sharing her story because of course everybody relates but very few people have the balls to put it out there. So let's talk about that for a.
- [20:02]
B
Second since it's out there.
- [20:03]
A
Anyways, the first issue of Love Love sex la. Yeah, you were. You met this guy on Araya.
- [20:10]
B
On Raya. Freaking Raya.
- [20:13]
A
I do not like Raya. I. I think there's like, so many douche lords there.
- [20:20]
B
It's, like, very interesting. It's a very interesting dynamic of people on there. It's kind of hit or miss.
- [20:26]
A
Yeah. And it's a. I never hit. I never met.
- [20:29]
B
You're like. It's always a mess.
- [20:30]
A
Because the few guys that I met on Raya, I think they're so full of themselves. Or like the entertainment industry. I don't know. I don't think.
- [20:39]
B
Or they're faking it.
- [20:40]
A
Yes, they're faking it. And I don't think I want to date anybody in that because it's my industry. So I don't want to have. I don't know. I was.
- [20:47]
B
And you're kind of like an artist.
- [20:49]
A
Yeah.
- [20:49]
B
And I feel like it's hard for two artists or two people in that same business to date. For sure.
- [20:54]
A
So. But you met this dude on Raya.
- [20:55]
B
Yeah.
- [20:56]
A
Okay, so you tell me.
- [20:59]
B
So I meet on Raya and. Okay, you read the article.
- [21:01]
A
I read the article.
- [21:02]
B
You read the article. You read the whole thing and, you know, we start seeing each other. Well, actually, it kind of started. I wasn't really into him at all at first.
- [21:11]
A
Oh, really?
- [21:12]
B
Yeah.
- [21:12]
A
I did not know that part.
- [21:13]
B
Yeah, I think I put it in there maybe. But I wasn't really into him and actually kind of like he got on my nerves a little bit. He kind of annoyed me. It was one of those. It was like. Like an enemies to lovers.
- [21:24]
A
So what changed?
- [21:26]
B
I don't know what it was. I think I became, like, very comfortable with him because I looked at him as just like a friend. And we ended up going out. Though I enjoyed his company, I really liked him. And, you know, someone coming from like a big, close Armenian family, like, he was about the family thing. I loved that. But then I didn't hear from him.
- [21:47]
A
Oh, okay. Wait, so how many dates did you guys go on?
- [21:50]
B
I forget.
- [21:51]
A
A few. A bunch.
- [21:52]
B
Like, it was a few before this happened. Then I didn't hear from him.
- [21:56]
A
Did you have sex?
- [21:57]
B
No.
- [21:57]
A
Okay, so you were just making out?
- [21:59]
B
Yeah.
- [22:00]
A
And he disappeared.
- [22:02]
B
He disappeared.
- [22:02]
A
Okay.
- [22:03]
B
Disappeared. And I knew he was divorced.
- [22:07]
A
So he told you he was divorced?
- [22:09]
B
Yeah.
- [22:09]
A
Okay.
- [22:10]
B
But I hadn't heard from him. And then I saw on Instagram, I see a video and he's got his wedding ring back on his finger.
- [22:16]
A
That must have hurt. Your sister is behind the scenes and she's like rolling her eyes. That's painful. I would have died. Yeah, it was painful, but what an a hole. I hope you're listening, whoever the hell your name is. I really hope you're listening. She's doing so much better without you. She deserves so much better. You are like a bleep in her life.
- [22:39]
B
Well, you know, I have a poet's heart. I do. I have a poet's heart. So the problem was when they broke up again, we ended up hanging out again, you know. I know, I know. I'm. Here's the thing. I wish I could say that, you know. No, I told him no, it was strong, but no, I was like. Had this like, moment of very like, human weakness where I was like, I felt something.
- [23:01]
A
But did he tell. Okay, wait. Because he had his wedding ring on. So he was back with the ex wife. Back with ex wife. And then. So when he came back into your life, did he tell you, like, I'm not with my ex wife again?
- [23:12]
B
Well, so before they broke up again, I get a text from him, like after not hearing from him, saying, like, basically, my ex wife and I got back together, but I'd really love to stay friends with you because I think you guys are so cool. Whatever. And at that point, it wasn't like so deep in where I was like, not open to it. I was like, okay, whatever, we can be friends. You know what I mean? I'll keep doing my thing, whatever. Not a big deal. But then it was just like this on and off thing of them kind of breaking up and getting back together. But yeah, it turned into. It was chaos. I compare it to the Erewhon smoothie line at lunch hour. That's what our dynamic turned into, just kind of chaos.
- [23:52]
A
But when he came back into your life, did he tell you he was not with your ex wife anymore?
- [23:57]
B
Yeah.
- [23:58]
A
So he was playing both of you guys, I think, like, he's a player.
- [24:02]
B
You think it's a player? Yeah, I feel like too, it's.
- [24:05]
A
He's a total rush.
- [24:07]
B
I mean, you know, dating in la, I feel like everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too also. You know what I mean?
- [24:12]
A
Some people, yeah, Yeah, I think. But not everyone.
- [24:16]
B
No, not everyone and that.
- [24:18]
A
But yeah. So we gotta put it out there. And by the way, this dude, this douche lives all the way in Hermosa beach, which I don't even know exactly where that is. I know that it's really far away, right?
- [24:29]
B
So it is a distance and it's so pretty there. It's a beach, you know?
- [24:33]
A
Okay, but so you are. And I cannot even picture you getting in your car and you're driving all the way to Hermosa beach to make out with this dude who is on and off with his ex wife.
- [24:45]
B
You know, when you say it out loud, it puts it into perspective.
- [24:48]
A
Well, you wrote it yourself.
- [24:50]
B
I know. And hearing it out loud now, I'm.
- [24:52]
A
Like, like, you know, what was I doing? I mean, listen, I've made all of these mistakes and more so believe me, hence the podcast.
- [25:01]
B
But that's the thing. You know what? It's a great thing to reflect on and hopefully people can connect with. Because, like, listen, at the end of the day, I'm not a robot. I'm not AI generated. This is what I was feeling in the moment. You know what I mean? And I think we have to do things. We have to follow our heart, because otherwise, how do we.
- [25:15]
A
But don't follow it that far.
- [25:16]
B
Don't fall all the way to Hermosa.
- [25:18]
A
No, don't. And then I asked. I remember last night. I was like, okay, so. So if you were doing that, the sex must have been, like, the best sex of your life.
- [25:26]
B
Oh, my gosh. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. But listen, I feel like when it comes to. When I care about someone, I will, like, take it to. I told you, I have a poet's heart. So, like, I drove there because, like, for some reason, I felt a connection. Like, have you ever been in a situation where you feel like there's just, like, a very deep.
- [25:49]
A
Guys, I never thought I would say this, but this Black Friday. Instead of buying more stuff I don't need, I decided to invest in my sex life instead. We all know Black Friday is about deals, but what would you rather do? Spend hundreds of dollars in stuff you don't need or 69 bucks on improving your sex life? Yes. @baducated.com Real Talk no one ever really teaches us how to be amazing in bed. We're just supposed to figure it out somehow, right?
- [26:15]
B
Right.
- [26:15]
A
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- [27:10]
B
Connection and you like someone you could just be so yourself with and kind of like that's what your heart's like chasing in the moment. You know what I mean? Yeah.
- [27:19]
A
But usually, honestly if I like when I was in a situationship, like I said, Mike, in my situationship case, the one that, that was going on for almost two years that I told you about, it was the best sex of my life. So I knew this guy's like bad news is not good for me. But I, at least I was having like insanely fabulous sex. So I kept.
- [27:40]
B
Where did he live here?
- [27:41]
A
Beverly Hills. He was at Beverly Hills.
- [27:43]
B
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right.
- [27:44]
A
Yeah.
- [27:44]
B
I was thinking about the Valley guy for some reason.
- [27:46]
A
No, the Valley guy. We never even had sex.
- [27:47]
B
Should we just like, we'll just like refer to guys as their location.
- [27:51]
A
Yeah, the Beverly Hills guy. The Beverly Hills Trust dude. Yeah. I knew he's like okay, this because like I said, he didn't have a job. He's like partying, going to Barney's binary until 2am on a Sunday. And then we, we would go back to my place, have sex until 5, 6am and my dogs are waking me up at 6:15. And he can go back to his parents mansion in Beverly Hills and sleep all day by the pool. And I have to work because I work my ass off. So I'm like, okay, this guy is not for me. But the sex was fantastic. However, yesterday when I asked you about your hermosa, dude, you were, I said, so was this the best sex of your life? You're like, no.
- [28:32]
B
I'm telling you, I have totally a poet's heart. You know what I mean? Like that's the problem, it's a poet's heart.
- [28:41]
A
But.
- [28:44]
B
I think at the end of the day, like I said, it's a thing to reflect on and be like.
- [28:48]
A
Yes, of course we have to learn from our mistakes. And I hope now you know for sure that you deserve much better. Yeah, correct.
- [28:57]
B
For sure.
- [28:57]
A
You're not gonna let this douche back in your life? Correct.
- [29:00]
B
For sure.
- [29:01]
A
Can you sign it in blood here?
- [29:03]
B
Oh my gosh. We're saying it will sign it and Wine.
- [29:05]
A
And your sister is not. You're not gonna let it happen either, right? Julia, She's. No. Yeah, yeah. She's like, she's not allowing this anymore. Yeah. Block him from your phone. Like, no, if he was like. If you told me Cat with the sex is like, out of this world. Oh, my God. You know, be like, okay, maybe you. Whatever. You moved on from this crap.
- [29:26]
B
Yeah.
- [29:27]
A
Okay, good. So the geography situation, to finish the subject, because we have so much more to cover. Would you date a guy in the greater Los Angeles area again, that is far from your house? Again, I think it depends on the guy.
- [29:42]
B
It depends. It's. That's a gray area, right? It's not so black and white.
- [29:45]
A
Yeah, it's tough.
- [29:46]
B
Yeah.
- [29:46]
A
Although you did tell me, like, that was another crazy thing that you said, like, you went on a date. This guy was very high end that you went on a date with. He wanted to take you the San Vicente Bungalows on a date. Which, by the way, it's one of the most fabulous private clubs. Everybody wants to go there. And you told him, that's a little far. Let's hang out in Beverly. I did.
- [30:07]
B
I was so tired. I'm like, I just got my period. Like, I'm sorry. Like, I need to stay within, like, like my little triangle.
- [30:16]
A
Your little Beverly Hills triangle. Oh, my God, I cannot believe you did that. That's worse than me. I would have gone on a date there.
- [30:26]
B
You know what? It was too. I'm like, the thought of just driving there, like driving there right now, even.
- [30:32]
A
Just getting in, that is not that bad. Just to put in perspective of people who are not in la. So you're in Beverly Hills. San Vicente Bungalows is on the beach. So going there, happy hour time. You're going against traffic. So maybe would have been a 20 minute drive.
- [30:48]
B
You're probably right. You've probably been like, not even 20 minutes.
- [30:51]
A
Oh, my God.
- [30:52]
B
But we just. It was wallies that night.
- [30:55]
A
This guy must have really, really, really liked you.
- [31:00]
B
You know, it's all just.
- [31:02]
A
Oh, my God. That's really funny. Moving on. Like, we have so many stories, we're gonna have to do this episode in two parts. So moving on, our week. So Monday, we talked to this douche attorney at Wallace. It was dead. Like there was nothing going on. So we decided to call it the Night we went Home. Then Wednesday was a holiday, so I was out and about. I was on my way to a business meeting during the day. And I told. Funny enough, this is the only. Speaking of insignificant people I would not even have remembered that this. We're gonna call him Mr. Socks.
- [31:35]
B
Socks? Yeah, Mr. Socks.
- [31:37]
A
I would not even have remembered that he exists. But as I'm parking my car to go to this meeting at the coffee shop that we love there on South Beverly near the Beverly Hills newsstand, I see this guy coming down the parking lot. So he was literally in front of my car. So I was in my car, but I'm like, holy, I don't want to see this man. And I put my sunglasses on.
- [31:57]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [31:58]
A
And he walked right by me. And then. Thank God.
- [32:01]
B
Did he see you?
- [32:02]
A
Yeah, he was like, literally imagine, like, I'm driving and he was walking out. Like he was. And I'm like, I'm not gonna say hi to this. And I'll tell you guys why. Yeah, Mr. Socks. But then when I was sitting in my meeting at the coffee shop with three dudes, thank God he walked by, like, totally lost. Like, didn't know he was. At least he saw me in a meeting, like, yeah, totally, lady. Doing my thing with a bunch of guys around me. So I looked good.
- [32:26]
B
I love that. We love that.
- [32:27]
A
But this guy, funny. And then that's why we decided to talk about him on this episode. The reason I remember him is because he was a guy that I went on a million dates with. And I hate when guys do that. Like, we went on a million different restaurants. La la la la. Wine and dine. And I didn't even like him. I was trying to forget my situationship.
- [32:46]
B
Oh, my God. He was just like.
- [32:47]
A
Yeah, he was just like a filler.
- [32:49]
B
Yeah.
- [32:50]
A
So finally on, we. We spent New Year's Eve together and everything sucked. We went back to his place and we kind of started having sex, but we didn't really have sex because I was so hammered. So drunk, I was like, I want to go home and sleep with my dogs. Yeah. 3:00am so we went out one more time, and we ended up having sex at his place. And the reason why I remember it's cause the socks was really lame, but he kept his socks on.
- [33:17]
B
That's bizarre.
- [33:18]
A
Oh, my.
- [33:19]
B
That is like, so bizarre to me. Like, did he just forget? Was he lazy?
- [33:23]
A
How do you forget? How do you forget?
- [33:26]
B
I think actually it's a metaphor of why it didn't work for you. He was too lazy to take his socks off, and you wake up at 6am to go to work.
- [33:32]
A
He was lazy. Yeah. It wasn't good sex, period. But I remember when I. I saw him at one point, like, I was like, is this guy really wearing socks? Is he serious?
- [33:43]
B
And you probably like, after you saw him, did you ever see him again after that?
- [33:47]
A
No. Yeah, so I came, I made up an excuse because I didn't want to spend the night. So I was like, you know, I have to go home to my dogs.
- [33:54]
B
Oh, my gosh, the dogs. When in doubt, blame the dogs.
- [33:56]
A
Yeah, of course the dogs were with the pets. It was like, you know what? I think I need to go sleep in my place with my dogs. But I'm like, yeah, I think if you're that lazy to have. Have sex with socks, like, I never want to have sex with you again. But after that, he did show up at. I threw a fabulous birthday party that year. It was not. It was a while ago, by the way. This is not a recent story. It was like a year and a half ago. He showed up at my birthday party because I had all these great friends, but then I never saw him again. So he basically had sex with me and ghosted me. I didn't care about it, but I think that's a very douchey thing to do. Summer is here and that means sandal season is on. And I think it's something we all look forward to. Comfortable shoes and beach time. With the new Croc style sandals. You can embrace the feel good summer vibes right now and all year long. Thanks to the versatile and effortless tiles and brand new feel free technology. That. That feels like nothing at all. These are not sandals for a single season. I am in love with my getaway sandals. They literally feel like I'm wearing nothing at all. They're so soft. It's like walking on a cloud. Super lightweight and flexible moves with you and your every step right now. Get 20% off your next purpose purchase@crocs.com just use the code travel20 at checkout. That's 20. Check out@crocs.com for 20 off your purchase. And you guys are not gonna believe how adorable the new styles are. If you think you know Crocs, think again and go check them out right now.
- [35:43]
B
Crocs.com well, you know when I was talking to someone about ghosting today and it seems like people ghost when they like either don't know really what to say or they don't feel like they've been out with the person or they're just like a total. They're a total asshole that they don't know how to communicate. You know what I mean?
- [36:02]
A
Yeah, but we were talking about that this week. I despise ghosts. I'm an adult. I don't think I ever ghosted anyone. If I'm going out on with someone, even if it's a few days. Traits, I'm. Because I believe in karma.
- [36:17]
B
Yeah.
- [36:18]
A
I treat people the way I want to be treated.
- [36:20]
B
Yeah.
- [36:20]
A
I try to.
- [36:21]
B
Yeah.
- [36:22]
A
Even if I never want to see that person again. First of all, my first idea, which I put out there, I think everybody should do it. Try to repurpose that person.
- [36:30]
B
We were talking about repurposing. You know what's funny, too, about ghosting? Sometimes I'm like, though, is it almost like, nicer when someone ghosts you because then you don't have the reason of why they don't want to talk to you anymore?
- [36:40]
A
I don't like it. I get very offended.
- [36:44]
B
Okay. It's offensive. But then I'm like, I just chopped childish. It is childish. But I'm also like, if they don't tell me why they don't want to see me anymore, then I could just come up with the reason myself. Like, oh, they must have just felt so in love with me that they can't. They don't want to talk to me anymore. I like that. Yeah.
- [37:01]
A
It's okay. I'm too much for them.
- [37:03]
B
I know. I'm too great for it.
- [37:05]
A
I just think, like I said, if you never want to see someone again, text them. Like, you know, this was great, but I'm not feeling it or, you know, whatever. I'm gonna be out of town, gonna be out of the country. Country. But before you do that, like I said, what is repurposing? Look at that person and think, like, can they be in my life in some other capacity? Like, yeah, can they be a friend? Are they. Are they capable of being a good friend or can they be a client? I do that a lot. I try to transform these dudes into my clients for my business. And it works. Like, for my. Not the podcast, for my PR agency.
- [37:41]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [37:42]
A
Many of them have. Not kidding you. Like, I think three or. Yeah. Three of my clients have been my clients for many, many, many years because we either started dating our situationship or never dated. And I'm like, you know what? I agree. I completely agree with you. We're a horrible match. Let's do business and make money together.
- [38:01]
B
Yeah. Why not, Right?
- [38:02]
A
Exactly.
- [38:02]
B
Why not? I totally. I agree with that. A good repurposing always works. Or you repurpose that into like. Like setting them up with someone else. Like, I told you I wanted to set you up with Someone I went out with.
- [38:11]
A
Yeah, that guy seems very. Honestly, he seems very interesting. I just don't want you to hurt his feelings because, you know, obviously he liked you because he took you on three dates. That's okay. So be careful. Like, how you gonna put it then?
- [38:24]
B
I'm setting him up with my hot friend now.
- [38:25]
A
Oh, you're so sweet. But, yeah, so, guys, before you ghost anyone, think about it, like, how can this person have a purpose in my life? Don't be stupid. Because many times a person is great in for other things, but this Mr. Socks, after what he did, like, you're having sex in your. With your socks on. You show up at my birthday party, you leave, and then you never talk to me again, like, douche. So you deserve to be talked about. And. And if you listen, you know who you are, because, you know you did probably one of the few guys I don't know. We should ask Sean, my sound engineer. Is it norm? It's not normal, right, Sean? The guys have sex with socks. Oh, very 1970s.
- [39:05]
B
Very 1970s.
- [39:06]
A
I never ever want to be in this situation ever again. Well.
- [39:10]
B
And you know what's funny about ghosting is I think there's a time and place for ghosting. Like, if you communicate with someone that you are just not into this and you're very forthright about it, but they don't get the hint and they keep going, then you gotta ghost them.
- [39:22]
A
No, I agree. If they're like, creepy, douchey, if they do something horrible. But I'm saying in general, if it's really just lack of chemistry or you guys don't have anything in common, but maybe you can become best friends or like I said, maybe you can do business together. Right. Why not? Like this guy that you. That didn't take you to the center. San Vicente Bungalows. Seems like a lot of his business can help your business and vice versa.
- [39:48]
B
Yeah, for sure.
- [39:49]
A
You know? Yeah.
- [39:51]
B
Dating is also, like, just a form of, like, networking. I feel like people. You know what I mean? And like, you never know.
- [39:55]
A
Exactly. So this was Wednesday, and then Thursday, which was yesterday, we decided to go out and about and we were all over the place and we drank wine in every. So I broke all my rules for you this week. I drank on Monday, I drank on Thursday. I drank, like, all over town.
- [40:15]
B
I love it. It's okay that we started our week off right.
- [40:17]
A
Yeah. Yeah. So today's Friday, and I'm. We're curing a minor hangover, but. So we started up the Peninsula Hotel. Yeah, the Peninsula Hotel is very old school, usually older people. But I love the vibe there.
- [40:29]
B
It's always a good vibe there.
- [40:30]
A
It's such a good vibe.
- [40:32]
B
Such a good vibe. They have good drinks, good food.
- [40:34]
A
It's so classy.
- [40:35]
B
Yeah. And I never have any complaints about it. Like, it's just a great spot.
- [40:39]
A
But interestingly enough, it was also kind of like on the chill side yesterday. Usually. That bar, if you guys ever come to la, if you are not from the LA area, we highly recommend you go there. Right?
- [40:49]
B
Yeah.
- [40:50]
A
They have live music, great appetizers.
- [40:53]
B
Yeah.
- [40:54]
A
So this really nice dude, we only had one chair. This really nice dude was with a girl and he said, hey, you girls can sit on my chair. So he gave you. He gave me his chair and he sat on my chair. Super polite. Yeah. So they were making out at the bar. Did you see them making out? Kissing. Oh, my gosh.
- [41:12]
B
He was all over her.
- [41:13]
A
Yeah. Like, kissing big time. When she went to the bathroom. Like, let's talk. Talk to this guy and. And ask about dating. So we start talking to him and asking about that, and he's like, I'm not with this girl. He totally dismissed her.
- [41:28]
B
It's wild.
- [41:29]
A
I thought that was very rude.
- [41:32]
B
But as soon as she came back, he was all over.
- [41:34]
A
Exactly. It was just for. He was like, no, because we said, oh, you guys married? How long are you dating?
- [41:38]
B
He was like, we're not dating.
- [41:39]
A
I'm not dating her. I'm not with her.
- [41:42]
B
He almost acted like he just met her. And I don't think that was the case at all.
- [41:45]
A
No, that was not the case at all. No. He was like, we're just friends. He was like, no, we're just friends. I would be so hurt if I went to the bathroom and the guy making out with said that about me behind my back.
- [42:00]
B
Well. And I think he did it because he obviously wants to keep his options open.
- [42:04]
A
So rude.
- [42:05]
B
So rude. And I think that's the kind of stuff that women are complaining about when it comes to dating in la. Like, that kind of stuff. But. But also, she didn't even know. You know what I mean? She didn't.
- [42:17]
A
She did not know that.
- [42:18]
B
He's like, she went to the bathroom.
- [42:20]
A
She went to the bathroom. So I thought that. Okay, douche. And I actually asked him, what do you think about dating la? He's like, same thing. A lot of guys say that it's too much work.
- [42:30]
B
Yes.
- [42:31]
A
A lot of phonies. Right. Like, I don't have the patience for it. I don't Want to do it. Interestingly enough, a lot of the guys we meet, they're like, yeah, I wanna be in a relationship, but I don't really wanna date. Like, they're not, like, you know, actively pursuing a relationship.
- [42:51]
B
Well, and if they are, I think that it's the same thing. They wanna keep their options open. It's such a vast city, there's so many people. They think there's always something. The grass is greener on the other side.
- [43:01]
A
You know, this is what I think. My personal opinion. If somebody wants to keep their options open, they don't really want a relationship.
- [43:10]
B
I agree.
- [43:10]
A
They're not ready for it, but they want someone they're still playing around so.
- [43:14]
B
That they're not alone, you know, I feel like a lot of people don't like being alone, especially in a city like this, that they might want someone that's consistent, but they're not putting all their eggs in that basket.
- [43:21]
A
But I do think, like, if a guy wants a relationship, he's going to date with intention. Like, I'm trying to find the person for me. These dudes, they're full of. They don't want to be in a relationship, like you said. They want to maybe a hot date, maybe somewhat a dinner, maybe somebody, whatever. But I don't think they really, really want to be in a relationship.
- [43:43]
B
Yeah, I think that's actually a very common thing that people. And maybe that's why people complain about dating in cities. Because I think that there's, like, a lack of communication on what people want. And a lot of the time they're trying to force a situation with a person that doesn't actually want to fully commit. You know what I mean? Like, they don't want a relationship, like you said.
- [44:04]
A
So get.
- [44:04]
B
They get stuck in this rut of playing these games, you know?
- [44:07]
A
But interestingly enough, there were a lot of other guys at the Peninsula. Much older guys, but very nice, very classy guys. One of them talked to us, gave us French fries, and the other ones were staring at us the whole night like, okay, you want to talk to us?
- [44:22]
B
Come. Yeah.
- [44:23]
A
Too ashamed, too embarrassed. And then when we were leaving, they're like, oh, you guys are leaving. We want to say hi.
- [44:28]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [44:29]
A
Why do men do that? Guys, if you want to say hi to women at bar, go say hi. Girls love that.
- [44:36]
B
But I think it's your plunger theory.
- [44:37]
A
The plunger theory.
- [44:38]
B
They need, like, an icebreaker of some sort.
- [44:40]
A
Yeah, the plunger theory is the following. If you guys didn't listen to the episode. It's one of the funniest episodes I ever did. Two years ago, my girlfriend said, because guys are so shy approaching women, if you walk around with a very bizarre object. Of course we went crazy. We were walking around with a plunger. Everybody's gonna come and approach her and say, hi. And that. That did work. The pla. If you watch the episode, every single bar we went to, like, the entire bar would come and talk to us.
- [45:08]
B
Yeah.
- [45:09]
A
But it. I know most people don't have the balls to walk around with a plunger. The plunger.
- [45:13]
B
Yeah.
- [45:14]
A
But it can be something else less crazy. For example, it can be a little dog. Because a lot of guys will approach you, like, if you have a little dog, like, oh, how cute.
- [45:22]
B
Yeah.
- [45:23]
A
Or, I don't know, something else.
- [45:24]
B
You should come up with, like, a whole thing for a woman to take to the bar or restaurants as icebreakers.
- [45:31]
A
But for me, I will tell you what. I don't like shy men.
- [45:34]
B
Yeah.
- [45:35]
A
And I like men that, you know, have initiative and are gonna.
- [45:39]
B
Well, with your personality. You know what I mean?
- [45:41]
A
So I wouldn't, like, if a guy is shy to begin with, like, that he doesn't even have the confidence to say, hi, you know, where your girl's from? Or what are you up to? If he. If he doesn't say anything, it probably wouldn't be a match for me.
- [45:53]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [45:54]
A
I like guys that, you know, go and talk.
- [45:56]
B
Yeah. They have that initiative.
- [45:58]
A
Yeah. So we left the Peninsula and we went to Dante.
- [46:02]
B
Dante. That was really. Everything was slow last night.
- [46:05]
A
And it's a gorgeous place in Beverly Hills. Fabulous view on top of the. What's the name of the hotel?
- [46:11]
B
Mayborn.
- [46:12]
A
Mayborn. On top of Mayborn. Fabulous first date place, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. If somebody took me there for a first date, I would be. I. I would be very happy because it's a super cute place. It was also very chill, very dead.
- [46:27]
B
Everything felt very slow last night. And I wonder why that is. Is it, like, summer traveling?
- [46:32]
A
I don't know.
- [46:33]
B
It was Thursday.
- [46:34]
A
I have no idea. But funny enough, one thing we noticed, we were sitting at the bar, having a glass of wine, talking to the bartenders, and all the tables were packed. And when we walk, like, let's say, to go to the bathroom or something, the guys at the tables, even with the women next to them, like, stare at us. They were walking by, they were gawking.
- [46:55]
B
And, like, that's how we got into talking about. Is staring, like a form of, like, cheating in a way, because I asked.
- [47:01]
A
You, like, you know, oh, if you were sitting with your guy at dinner and two girls walked by and your guy, like, stared at these girls, would you be pissed? And you were like, yeah, he wouldn't be my guy anymore.
- [47:12]
B
I did. That's what I said. I'm like, not about that at all.
- [47:16]
A
So do you think, like, looking at beautiful people is. It's not cheating. Right. But it's, like, disrespectful?
- [47:23]
B
Well, I think it's disrespectful when you're, like, on a date and supposed to be present with someone else. You know what I mean?
- [47:28]
A
It should be a little more discreet.
- [47:30]
B
Yeah. Like, I think. I mean, they were sitting right by them, eating.
- [47:35]
A
Yeah. The guy went literally with his eyes, like, he followed us. And big smile.
- [47:39]
B
Yeah. So I would. I'm not about that. That at all.
- [47:43]
A
I think. Yeah. It would. See. To be completely. Completely honest, I wouldn't be that mad because if two super hot guys walked by, I mean, I wouldn't gawk, but I would look. I would stare, maybe smile. Just because I like looking at beautiful people. Even if it was two beautiful girls.
- [48:02]
B
Yeah.
- [48:03]
A
Because I like looking at other beautiful girls. I'm not bisexual. I'm not a lesbian. Nothing like that. I'm just saying that. That when I see a girl dressed super nice or she's gorgeous, I'm like, wow, you know?
- [48:13]
B
Yeah.
- [48:13]
A
That girl looks so. I like people watching and staring at people. Yeah. So I don't really see too much into it.
- [48:22]
B
I think it depends on, like, the intent of it and your relationship with the person.
- [48:25]
A
Yeah.
- [48:26]
B
And if you know you can trust them, because if it's someone that you don't trust as it is.
- [48:30]
A
Yeah.
- [48:30]
B
You know what I mean?
- [48:31]
A
You see them staring. Exactly. I don't think you should be with someone you don't trust. Trust. No.
- [48:35]
B
What a nightmare.
- [48:36]
A
Yeah, exactly. So if you're just looking, I would probably be okay with that. But a lot of the guys did that. Like, they stared at us.
- [48:43]
B
Yeah.
- [48:43]
A
After Dante, where do we go?
- [48:45]
B
Sky Bar.
- [48:46]
A
Oh, yeah. We went to the Sky Bar because there was, like, a small event there. Sky Bar is also so beautiful. It was very chill again, not a lot of people, like usual. And there was a dude there that started talking to you, a really nice guy, by the way, bought us wine.
- [49:02]
B
Yeah.
- [49:02]
A
And by then, we didn't even want to drink anymore.
- [49:04]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [49:05]
A
It was enough of so many glasses of wine for her. But he was nice enough. He was, like, going through a divorce and everything. Hey, I'll buy you girls a drink. Very gentleman. He texted me, by the way, last night. Yeah, he was like, where did you girls go? Where are you?
- [49:17]
B
That's so funny.
- [49:18]
A
Yeah.
- [49:19]
B
Oh my gosh. Yeah, he. He was getting divorced, right?
- [49:23]
A
Yeah. He said he's still living in the same house and going through a divorce. And then he was like, kat, I would love to see you again. I was like, like, as a friend.
- [49:30]
B
As. See repurposing.
- [49:33]
A
Yeah. If you want to be my friend, that's okay. I would never ever date some dude. I. My ex boyfriend was going through a divorce, by the way, and it. It backfired on me. I never want to date a guy who doesn't have his business 1 million percent done with.
- [49:46]
B
Yeah, totally. Because that's just. That's a lot of baggage.
- [49:50]
A
Yeah. I don't want to be in that mess.
- [49:51]
B
It's a mess.
- [49:52]
A
It's a mess.
- [49:53]
B
Especially if there's kids involved.
- [49:54]
A
Yeah, exactly. I'm like, no, get your divorce done. And then there was an odd dude that was totally hammered and all over you and you were like.
- [50:03]
B
Well, I told him one point. I was like, you gotta back up.
- [50:05]
A
Yeah.
- [50:05]
B
Like, you've gotta back up. I'm sorry.
- [50:07]
A
Like, yeah, he was too drunk. He was too high and too drunk.
- [50:11]
B
So gross.
- [50:12]
A
Yeah. And then after the Sky Bar, if you guys believe that, we went to one more place, which is night and day, like total opposite of all the other place we went to. If you guys never heard of it, it's called Barney's Beanery. Yeah, it's a hole in the wall.
- [50:28]
B
But it's like an iconic spot. It's been there forever.
- [50:31]
A
Very iconic. My Jesus. And then when Taylor Swift was here in la, God knows why she went to Barney's Beanery. So now people like it even more just because she was there.
- [50:41]
B
Yeah, I feel like it's definitely like a very, like, aesthetic thing people are into. Right? Like the whole. But it's cool. It's like, it's a bar. It's totally opposite of like the place. Places we talk about. Yeah, The Peninsula, Dante, all that. It's like a totally different vibe, a totally different group of people. You know what I mean? But still, like a wide age range. I don't know if you've noticed that, like, there were people that seem like older and then like 20s.
- [51:03]
A
It's a mixed bag, very casual beer type bar. It has some pool tables in the middle.
- [51:09]
B
Yeah.
- [51:09]
A
It's like, I don't like the food. It's like all greasy All American food. And I don't drink beer. You don't drink beer either?
- [51:16]
B
I don't drink beer. It makes me sick.
- [51:18]
A
It makes me sick. But it's not a place to order wine. And we ordered wine and the wine was.
- [51:24]
B
Well, actually, we tried to order champagne.
- [51:26]
A
And they're like, we have sparkling champagne, quote, unquote.
- [51:30]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [51:32]
A
I think that's what gave me the headache because it was super cheap sparkling wine.
- [51:36]
B
That probably is what gave you the headache.
- [51:37]
A
Yeah. And I, I, you know, when you're drinking and, you know, it's very sugary and crap and I don't know, that place is just not my vibe. And this guy that I was in a situationship with, that I was falling for him. Like, I was really developing, like, major feelings for this guy. Yeah, I was almost in love with him. Not just because the sex, but I really liked him. And it's one of his favorite hangouts.
- [51:59]
B
It's like, definitely a spot. And I think it's because it's open so late too.
- [52:03]
A
Open until 2am yeah, it's open. Like most places in West Hollywood are open until 2am I think, like the bars and stuff. Right. Sean Ashan probably knows better.
- [52:11]
B
A lot of people like me, that's been there forever.
- [52:13]
A
Like, Jim Morrison used to drink at the Barney's Beanery. So, like, really, it's an iconic spot.
- [52:18]
B
Yeah, Route 66.
- [52:19]
A
Yeah, I know. I mean, I know people love it. I'm just saying it's not my favorite. It's not my vibe. And maybe because I have, like I said, I have this bad memories because I'm like, I was dating this dude and, you know, we would stay out and like I said, until 2am until the freaking bar closed.
- [52:36]
B
Yeah.
- [52:37]
A
And I remember one day I went to the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror. I was drunk. Drunk. It was Sunday night.
- [52:43]
B
Yeah.
- [52:44]
A
2Am And I'm at the bar and I looked at myself in the mirrors like, catherine, what the are you doing here? Are you crazy? You have a job, you have a business you have to do. You pay your bills, you don't have a trust fund. You cannot sit by the pool all day. What is wrong with you? I like, it was a wake up call that I couldn't have that lifestyle.
- [53:04]
B
Oh, my gosh, that's so funny. But, you know, it's interesting. We were talking, talking to some people there.
- [53:09]
A
Yeah.
- [53:09]
B
Because I wanted to find out too. Like, you know, it's a different group of people, like their experience with dating and these Some of the people I talked to, they were like in their.
- [53:15]
A
20S and they, the guys playing poor, but they looked a lot older, by the way.
- [53:22]
B
I thought they were way older.
- [53:23]
A
The guy that, like the Italian guy that you ask, when, when he, he said he was 20, I was like.
- [53:29]
B
Yeah, he's 22 or something, right?
- [53:30]
A
Yeah. I was like, dude, you're in really bad.
- [53:36]
B
I was shocked. I figured he was at least 30.
- [53:38]
A
I thought he was more.
- [53:40]
B
Me too. But, like, at least he looked really rough. Yeah. Yeah. But they were talking about how they. These guys were younger and they even had the same kind of like negative thought process about dating in LA that some of these people have. They were saying, like, well, the one guy, he lived in, like the South Bay area, and he was talking about how he just felt like a lot of the girls were stuck up. It's just complicated, like putting himself out there, I guess.
- [54:08]
A
I know it's funny because, yeah, all the guys we talked to in all of these places, not one said, oh, my God, it's so much fun. And, you know, I'm having a great time. I really want to meet someone. Everybody kind of complained that it's a shit show out there. So the good news is it's not just girls that think this is a shit show.
- [54:28]
B
No, I think it's guys. Everyone thinks it's a show.
- [54:32]
A
Everyone thinks it's a show. So I. Well, yeah, we're going to talk about our conclusion in a minute. So after Bar, luckily my ex. Situationship was not there.
- [54:42]
B
Can you imagine?
- [54:44]
A
I would. Yeah.
- [54:45]
B
What would you have done? Would you have, like, just walked right past him? Would you have said hello?
- [54:49]
A
What would I have done? I don't know. I. I probably would have said hi.
- [54:54]
B
Yeah.
- [54:55]
A
I don't know. Yeah. Because I was a little drunk, A little. Very little tipsy. Were you? A little.
- [55:00]
B
I started to feel it.
- [55:02]
A
Very little. Yeah. I wasn't like, drunk.
- [55:04]
B
No.
- [55:05]
A
But I was hoping I wasn't gonna. I didn't want to see him. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I don't want to see him. I'm trying to stand firm on my resolution of not totally seeing him again. Because if definitely in the beginning we were dating and then it just became booty call calls.
- [55:21]
B
Yeah.
- [55:21]
A
And then, you know. Yeah. No, I deserve so much better.
- [55:24]
B
Yeah.
- [55:25]
A
I don't, so. But I'm glad he wasn't there. So we decided to wrap up our night at the Soho House, which is one of my favorite hangout spots here in la. It was also very chill there yeah.
- [55:37]
B
Everywhere. I'm like, is there a holiday that I don't know about right now? Like, what?
- [55:40]
A
There was a holiday in the middle of the week, but I don't know if that affected.
- [55:44]
B
Yeah.
- [55:45]
A
How people go out in LA in general.
- [55:48]
B
But I wonder if it'll be busier tonight night. It's Friday.
- [55:51]
A
We can try again.
- [55:53]
B
I'm like, I'm still recovering.
- [55:54]
A
I know. Same. Yeah. Like, tonight is like water only. But we didn't talk to any. There was nobody there.
- [56:00]
B
No, no, there really wasn't there. We.
- [56:03]
A
We order a wine and we didn't even finish the wine. It was very chill. No. No guys to talk about. And then we're like, okay, that's it. But in general. So what's the conclusion? I think it's tough for everybody. Nobody's saying that dating is like paradise.
- [56:21]
B
Yeah. I think that everyone has a very similar outlook on it.
- [56:27]
A
Yeah.
- [56:28]
B
And it seems that. I mean, even the Uber driver that we talked to between one of our spots, he was. What did he say again? I forget. He was saying, like, it's just too complicated.
- [56:39]
A
It's too complicated. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The Uber driver had an accent and he was like, no, I'm from la. I'm not from anywhere else. But he was from somewhere else, but he was like, no, I'm from here. And then he said he doesn't want to date because. Yeah, it's too complicated and he can't trust anyone.
- [56:55]
B
Yeah.
- [56:56]
A
So guys are super jaded as well. So what do we do? My conclusion. This is my conclusion. And I know a lot of people don't agree with me. Like I said, it's your mindset.
- [57:07]
B
Yeah.
- [57:07]
A
Yeah. Because you can say whatever you want about la. And like I said, if you talk to the girls in Miami, they complain. You talk to the girls in New York, you complain. And I have a friend that lives in Canada, and Canada, there's tons and tons of men. And she's like, yeah, but they all suck because they're all shitty. I think you need to go about the dating life, like the dating world with an open mind if you want to find a relationship.
- [57:31]
B
Yeah.
- [57:31]
A
Just think, like, you know what? The right person for me is out there looking for me as much. Much as I'm trying to find them.
- [57:36]
B
Totally, totally.
- [57:38]
A
Otherwise, you know. Yeah. If you decide everybody sucks. Yeah, everybody's going to suck.
- [57:41]
B
That's what's going to happen.
- [57:42]
A
But it was a really fun experiment being out and about with you.
- [57:46]
B
Yeah. So fun. So fun. It was definitely an experience.
- [57:49]
A
And I think just from doing all of this and you, you told me you're like casually dating someone. We're not going to say anything about it, but I really hope that continues to go really well for you.
- [58:00]
B
Yeah, we'll see.
- [58:00]
A
Because you deserve a prince no matter what. I know you're not gonna let this douche on your, the first episode of your paper come back into your life.
- [58:11]
B
I know, I know. It's so funny. Like, I don't know, it's always, it's an eye opening experience dating, you know, it's a lesson.
- [58:19]
A
Everything is a lesson, right? And then like I said, we try not to make the same mistakes again. When are you putting the next episode of Love Sexily out?
- [58:27]
B
The next one will be out a week from today, so next Friday.
- [58:29]
A
Oh my God, that's so exciting. How can people find it?
- [58:33]
B
It? So it's at the Beverly Hills newsstand and I will also put out a link for like the digital version of it.
- [58:39]
A
Okay, awesome. I'm going to share that link because it's so cute and it's like so touching stories because like we were saying, so many people, you know, I think every single person in the world has good and bad stories, right? Good people that go through their life and bad people that go through their life and you know, just take it with a grain of salt. I think at the end of the day we should all be like, be respectful of each other. Like I said, don't ghost. Be nice to people. Treat people the way you want to be treated.
- [59:07]
B
Yeah, for sure. And I'm sure this goes for everything and this has to go back, I guess, to like just dating in such a big city. I'm sure like in my situation that person wasn't a fit for me, but he's gonna be a fit for someone else and like the same goes for me. You know what I mean?
- [59:23]
A
Like that's, you know, this guy that you were dating, what do you call him on the paper? Storm.
- [59:29]
B
The storm.
- [59:29]
A
The storm. The storm. Storm. I have a hunch he's a player. And I don't think he probably told his wife. Ex wife. About you. Yeah, I don't know, you know, so I feel bad for her.
- [59:40]
B
Yeah.
- [59:41]
A
Because he's, you know, he's a douche. He doesn't know what he wants. And you're gorgeous, you're so talented, you're so successful. You deserve someone so much better. It was such an honor hanging out.
- [59:53]
B
With you so much.
- [59:54]
A
It was so much fun. Congratulations on everything you do. You're Always welcome to do another episode because I hope we're gonna hang out again.
- [60:02]
B
Oh, my go gosh, of course.
- [60:03]
A
And tell people where they find you on Insta, if anybody wants to follow. Although I'm gonna put all the links on the episode if they're listening.
- [60:10]
B
Yeah.
- [60:11]
A
And they want to find you.
- [60:13]
B
So my personal Instagram is alexandriarezik. And then Love Sex La is just all one word. Love Sex La.
- [60:21]
A
And I love it. Love Sex la. It's kind of like a Sex and the City. Totally in la. So we're gonna. We're definitely gonna do more adventures and bring you guys our conclusions. But. But I think for me, honestly, what I always like to say is, never give up on love.
- [60:36]
B
No, you can't give up on love.
- [60:38]
A
Exactly. Because some people get so tired, they're like, oh, I give up. Never give up. Keep going. Because the right person for you is out there trying to find you.
- [60:46]
B
Exactly.
- [60:47]
A
Thank you so much for doing this, Alex. And now we're friends. I know.
- [60:52]
B
So much fun.
- [60:53]
A
Don't date in Hermosa Beach. Put your racial like.
- [60:58]
B
And you can't date in the Valley.
- [60:59]
A
Exactly. I don't want the Valley. I don't. I want. I want to find somebody like, you know, our standards get higher and higher and higher and stuff, but we will get everything we deserve.
- [61:09]
B
That's right.
- [61:10]
A
Yeah.
- [61:10]
B
If you believe it.
- [61:11]
A
Exactly. If you believe it, you get it. Thank you so much, guys. Be safe out there, and I'll see you again very soon. Alex Rizik, congratulations on all your success.
- [61:18]
B
You're amazing. You're the best.