Episode Summary: "Marriage Lease - A New Concept with Author Fanny Rojas"

Podcast Title: Kat on the Loose Sex, Dating & Relationships
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Fanny Rojas
Release Date: August 21, 2024

Introduction

In this compelling episode of Kat on the Loose Sex, Dating & Relationships, host Kat Zammuto engages in an open and honest conversation with Fanny Rojas, the author of her debut book, Marriage Lease - A New Concept. The episode delves deep into their personal histories, the genesis of Fanny's book, and the innovative ideas it presents for modern relationships.

How Kat and Fanny Met

Reconnecting in California

Kat and Fanny reconnect in California after years of being Instagram friends. Their relationship traces back to Miami, where they first met at a restaurant in South Beach.

• [00:00 - 03:51]: Kat introduces Fanny and provides background on her book, setting the stage for their conversation. They reminisce about their first meeting in Miami, highlighting the dynamics of that encounter. Kat recalls being at Semilla Miami restaurant, where she was managing social media accounts and happened to meet Fanny and her then-boyfriend.

• Notable Quote:
  Kat ([03:05]): “This is the first time that's coming out. How come we never talked about that night?”

Their Relationship and Breakup

Living Together and the Decision Not to Marry

Fanny shares her past relationship with a successful and affluent boyfriend, emphasizing that neither of them desired a traditional legal marriage. They enjoyed a blissful life together but ultimately decided to part ways.

• [04:46 - 09:01]: The discussion covers the complexities of their past relationship, including living together without the intent to marry. Fanny explains that both she and her ex-partner were aligned in not pursuing legal marriage, which is a central theme in her book.

• Notable Quote:
  Fanny ([08:21]): “He was one of the few relationships that I had that I actually enjoy being with him and have fun.”

The Breakup and Its Aftermath

Kat and Fanny delve into the emotional challenges of breaking up with someone you still love. Fanny describes the steps she took to heal, including moving out of the country and focusing on self-care.

• [10:11 - 15:29]: Fanny discusses the difficulty of ending the relationship despite the love she felt, highlighting the importance of self-respect and recognizing when a relationship is no longer healthy. She shares how the breakup led to personal growth and inspired her to write Marriage Lease.

• Notable Quote:
  Fanny ([13:29]): “Judge yourself, and say am I getting all of these things?”

Development of "Marriage Lease" Concept

Introducing the Marriage Lease

Fanny introduces the concept of a "Marriage Lease," a contractual approach to relationships that emphasizes accountability and continual growth without the bindings of legal marriage.

• [15:14 - 19:09]: The conversation shifts to the core idea of Fanny's book. She explains that a Marriage Lease functions similarly to a car lease, where couples outline their commitments and expectations annually. This structure encourages partners to actively work on their relationship, maintaining its health and vitality.

• Notable Quote:
  Fanny ([16:10]): “Marriage lease would be a contract that you do it with your partner outside of the legal and outside of the church.”

Key Principles of the Marriage Lease

Fanny outlines several principles that couples should consider when drafting their Marriage Lease, such as mutual respect, communication, and shared responsibilities.

• [20:03 - 26:20]: The discussion delves into specific clauses that can be included in a Marriage Lease, addressing sensitive topics like health, finances, and personal boundaries. Fanny emphasizes the importance of honesty and transparency in these agreements to prevent future conflicts.

• Notable Quote:
  Fanny ([21:17]): “I think that these are things that we think about, but yet we're so afraid to talk about.”

Personal Insights and Conclusions

Empowerment Through Accountability

Both Kat and Fanny share personal insights on how active engagement and accountability can strengthen relationships. They advocate for regular check-ins and clear communication to ensure both partners remain aligned.

• [26:25 - 35:25]: Fanny and Kat discuss the benefits of implementing the Marriage Lease in real-life scenarios, including managing expectations and preventing complacency in relationships. They highlight the importance of setting boundaries and maintaining individual growth alongside the relationship.

• Notable Quote:
  Kat ([29:56]): “So it could happen. Let's. So how soon in a relationship should you be doing this?”

Addressing Sexual Compatibility

The conversation also touches on the crucial role of sexual compatibility in relationships. Fanny advises that sexual needs should be openly discussed and included in the Marriage Lease to ensure both partners are satisfied.

• [35:04 - 42:46]: They explore the significance of maintaining a healthy sexual relationship and how the Marriage Lease can help couples navigate changes in their sexual dynamics over time.

• Notable Quote:
  Fanny ([29:38]): “You want to have a lot of sex, right. And I tell all the guys. I mean, I don't think you're going…”

Final Reflections and Encouragement

Fanny reflects on her journey of self-discovery post-breakup and encourages listeners to prioritize their well-being and personal growth. Kat commends Fanny's bravery in establishing clear boundaries and advocating for healthy relationship practices.

• [43:36 - 46:47]: The episode concludes with mutual reflections on personal growth and the transformative power of ending unhealthy relationships. Both speakers emphasize the importance of learning from past mistakes to build better future partnerships.

• Notable Quote:
  Fanny ([47:26]): “I'm so much happier because we are creating and building up.”

Key Takeaways

1. Marriage Lease Concept: A non-legal, yearly commitment contract that fosters accountability and continual relationship growth.
2. Importance of Boundaries: Clearly defined boundaries help prevent misunderstandings and promote mutual respect.
3. Regular Check-ins: Scheduled relationship assessments can ensure both partners remain aligned and address issues proactively.
4. Sexual Compatibility: Open discussions about sexual needs are essential for long-term relationship satisfaction.
5. Personal Growth: Prioritizing self-care and personal development is crucial, especially after a breakup.

Notable Quotes

• Kat ([03:05]): “This is the first time that's coming out. How come we never talked about that night?”
• Fanny ([08:21]): “He was one of the few relationships that I had that I actually enjoy being with him and have fun.”
• Fanny ([13:29]): “Judge yourself, and say am I getting all of these things?”
• Fanny ([16:10]): “Marriage lease would be a contract that you do it with your partner outside of the legal and outside of the church.”
• Fanny ([21:17]): “I think that these are things that we think about, but yet we're so afraid to talk about.”
• Fanny ([29:38]): “You want to have a lot of sex, right. And I tell all the guys. I mean, I don't think you're going…”
• Fanny ([29:56]): “So it could happen. Let's. So how soon in a relationship should you be doing this?”
• Fanny ([29:38]): “You want to have a lot of sex, right. And I tell all the guys. I mean, I don't think you're going…”
• Fanny ([21:17]): “I think that these are things that we think about, but yet we're so afraid to talk about.”
• Fanny ([47:26]): “I'm so much happier because we are creating and building up.”

Conclusion

This episode offers a fresh perspective on modern relationships through the lens of Fanny Rojas's Marriage Lease. By advocating for structured yet flexible commitments, Fanny provides couples with tools to maintain healthy, accountable, and evolving partnerships. Kat and Fanny's candid dialogue serves as both inspiration and practical guidance for listeners navigating the complexities of love, commitment, and personal growth.

Interested in Fanny Rojas's Marriage Lease?
Available on Amazon. Kat is giving away signed copies—be among the first two listeners to message her on Instagram @realcatonthelose or via WhatsApp at 310-692-0578 to receive your free copy!