Kat on the Loose — NATALIE STAVOLA: PERFORMANCE COACH

Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Natalie Stavola (Performance Coach, Actor)
Date: January 21, 2026

Episode Overview

In this engaging episode of Kat on the Loose, host Kat Zammuto sits down with Natalie Stavola—actor, performance coach, and certified trauma hypnosis specialist—for a dynamic, deeply personal conversation about self-love, healing from trauma, self-sabotage, breaking negative patterns, and how to start truly thriving after pain. The two women share their lived experiences with abusive relationships and rebuilding from rock bottom, exchanging honest stories, actionable advice, and practical psychology-backed tools for transforming one’s mindset and life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. From Acting to Coaching: Natalie's Journey

[02:00–04:27]

• Natalie recounts her early passion for acting and performance, her academic background in psychology and criminology, and how family skepticism led her to study human behavior.
• Despite growing up without support for the arts, Natalie always helped people and found her transition from acting to coaching a natural extension:

  “I found the through line ... what I was grateful for was going into psychology. I was always helping people, always helping people.”
  (Natalie, 02:36–04:27)

• Kat relates, describing herself as “the black sheep” for also choosing a non-traditional path.

2. The Power of Self-Love and Body Acceptance

[05:05–07:54]

• Both women discuss the challenge women face in accepting themselves and their bodies, even when society perceives them as beautiful.
• Natalie shares a practical self-love exercise she calls “the Michael Jackson effect”:

  “I have my clients ... pick five things on their body that they love ... They look in the mirror every day and focus on those things—their focus expands.”
  (Natalie, 05:48)

• Kat and Natalie emphasize that happiness does not come from physical perfection, but from doing deep inner work.

3. Understanding & Breaking Self-Sabotage

[07:54–10:23]

• Kat introduces self-sabotage as a core theme, and Natalie explains how early childhood programming sets up many of our patterns, regardless of how good our childhood circumstances:

  “All our programming ... will not matter, you will still pick up things because your subconscious is constantly scanning for danger.”
  (Natalie, 08:39)

• The first step to change is writing down what you want, noticing internal fears, and realizing that the fastest way to get what you want is to confront those fears.

4. Surviving Trauma & Rock Bottom: Stories of Resilience

[10:23–14:14]

• Kat shares her journey escaping an abusive marriage, losing her husband and assets, and starting over completely alone.

  “If you’re in hell, you might as well keep walking.”
  (Kat, 11:14)

• Natalie opens up about her struggle with addiction:

  “When I hit my bottom too—drugs and alcohol—I'm eight and a half years clean and sober now.”
  (Natalie, 12:12)

• Both women relate how rock bottom forced them to choose survival and transformation.

5. Practical Tools for Rebuilding: Safety, Mindset, and Identity

[14:44–20:04]

• Natalie breaks down the process for healing from trauma and making healthier choices:
  • Start by pausing and breathing into your body, learning to create safety for yourself.
  • Reflect on your patterns—if you’re attracting unsafe people, mirror back to yourself and address the ways you may not honor your own feelings.
  • Write not just your goals but also the feeling behind the goals—ultimately, “give that to yourself first.”
• Kat highlights the importance of self-love in breaking patterns:

  “I decided I gotta love myself more than these ... I’d rather be alone and in peace with my dogs and my work than ever putting up with abusive men ever again.”
  (Kat, 19:30)

6. Aligning Actions & Relationships with Self-Worth

[18:56–21:47]

• Both hosts agree change is incremental—"an uphill battle" that takes years.
• Natalie cautions that talk therapy alone may not be enough for trauma; behavioral change and safe company are necessary.
• On “boring but safe” relationships: Many people swing to the opposite extreme, thinking safe equals boring, but “healthy is not boring if you are aligned.”

7. Loving Solitude and Avoiding Relationship Traps

[23:20–26:06]

• Kat raises the issue: so many people are afraid to be alone, staying in unsatisfying or even toxic relationships for the sake of company.
• Natalie likens relationships to a shared “battery”—if you’re not filling yourself up, you end up draining and resenting your partner.
• Practical tip: Make a list (“top line behaviors”) of activities and techniques that fill you with joy and ground you; revisit when you feel depleted.

8. Success, Hustle, and Self-Care

[26:06–27:23]

• Both admit to workaholic tendencies and the illusion that hustling will solve everything.
• Natalie highlights:

  “Success is in the journey, not the destination.”
  (Natalie, 26:29)

9. Relationships & Compromise: When to Stand Your Ground

[28:21–32:06]

• Kat and Natalie explore how to balance openness in relationships with honoring privacy, and how to know when a partner is truly compatible.
• Natalie’s journaling exercise helps clarify whether a behavior (like public sharing) is core to your identity or a mask for insecurity.

  “You’ll feel it in your stomach. You’ll know if you’re lying to yourself.”
  (Natalie, 31:30)

10. Dating Standards, Communication, and Reading People

[33:04–39:11]

• The hosts discuss dating “red flags”—dismissive communication, inconsistency, and “I’m so busy” excuses.

  “To me ... if somebody likes you and they care about you, they don’t lose you.”
  (Kat, 36:09)

• Natalie reframes the “If he wanted to, he would” narrative, stressing individual sovereignty:

  “Does this work for you? Yes or no? ... How does this make me feel? And if it doesn’t work for me, I disengage.”
  (Natalie, 34:23; 39:11)

11. Hypnosis & Reprogramming Limiting Beliefs

[40:03–46:57]

• Natalie explains subconscious programming:

  “Your subconscious mind rules 90% of your behaviors ... Luck is not a thing, luck is a neural pathway.”
  (Natalie, 40:36)

• Hypnosis and practical visualization exercises are described for “rewiring” the brain around self-worth.
  • Example: Revisit memories where a core belief (“I’m unworthy”) was formed, confront the source, and nurture the inner child’s needs.

  “You hold your little you and ask them what they need ... and everything in your life will change.”
  (Natalie, 46:13)

12. Finding Your Path to Healing

[47:03–47:59]

• Kat’s closing advice:

  “The trick is, learn to love yourself ... Don’t accept toxic behaviors or people around your life because they make everything else toxic.”
  (Kat, 47:03)

• Natalie recommends experimenting—EMDR, hypnosis, behavioral therapy—and stresses that everyone must find the right method for themselves.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I did the inner work where I can see myself in the mirror today and ... I’ve fallen in love with myself in a beautiful way.”
  Natalie, 05:14
• “Slowing down helps you speed up.”
  Natalie, 17:22
• “If you’re in hell, you might as well keep walking, right? You gotta keep going.”
  Kat, 11:14
• “Everything in front of you is a mirror for what’s going on inside you.”
  Natalie, 14:44
• “Safety is in your journey, not the destination.”
  Natalie, 26:29
• “To me, actions, behavior speak louder than any words. If somebody likes you ... they don’t lose you.”
  Kat, 36:09
• “You have to get to the root, rip it up, move on.”
  Natalie, 43:58

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:00] — Natalie’s path from acting to coaching, psychology roots
• [05:48] — Michael Jackson effect: body acceptance tool
• [07:54] — Self-sabotage, how childhood shapes us
• [11:04] — Kat and Natalie’s stories of rock bottom and rebuilding
• [14:44] — Internal work: safety, slowing down, mirroring patterns
• [18:56] — Loving yourself more to break unhealthy cycles
• [23:20] — On loving solitude and building your own joy
• [26:29] — Hustle culture and redefining success
• [28:21] — Compromise and authenticity in relationships
• [33:04] — Dating, communication, and setting boundaries
• [40:36] — Hypnosis, the subconscious mind, and practical brain hacks

Memorable & Relatable Moments

• Both women openly sharing experiences of abuse, recovery, grief, and bouncing back stronger.
• Natalie's practical exercises (like the “Michael Jackson effect,” journaling, confronting childhood wounds) make abstract self-help tangible.
• The frank, raw tone and humor—never trying to sound perfect, always focusing on growth and honesty.

Resources & How to Connect

• Natalie Stavola Online: @nataliestavola on Instagram; [her main Instagram link provided by Kat]
• Weekly episodes of Kat on the Loose, including video on YouTube.
• [Kat mentions that Natalie will return for a future deep dive into men’s dating behavior.]

Summary Takeaway

This powerful episode blends real-life grit and informed psychology for listeners struggling with limiting beliefs, relationship ruts, or self-doubt. Through storytelling and actionable guidance, Kat and Natalie offer hope: anyone can heal, but it starts with self-love, internal shifts, and refusing to settle for less than you deserve.