PATTI STANGER

Summary

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Kat on the Loose – Episode: PATTI STANGER (Feb 12, 2025)

Main Theme & Purpose

In this vibrant Valentine's Week episode, Kat Zammuto welcomes famed matchmaker Patti Stanger for an unfiltered deep dive into the challenges and realities of modern dating, relationships, and finding love—whether via apps, traditional matchmaking, or self-empowerment. Their candid talk covers what quality singles want, why women are increasingly refusing to “date down,” the truth about dating apps, and why you shouldn't settle. Packed with takeaways for both women and men, this episode is a real-talk guide to thriving and dating with intention.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Valentine’s Day & Singlehood (06:00)

• Advice for Singles: Patti recommends not to stress over Valentine's Day and “ignore” the pressure:

  “If you’re going through hell, get your favorite foods, watch your favorite movies, go with your girls. You can do a Galentine’s Day… It’s not the end-all to your love life—it’s not a report card.” (06:32)

• Kat and Patti agree it’s just a “Hallmark holiday,” with Patti emphasizing it ends as quickly as it started.

2. Modern Dating & The Quality Gap (08:14)

• Why Are There More Singles?
  Patti attributes the growing number of singles to women refusing to “date down,” noting a shift where women are outpacing men in education, earnings, and ambition.

  “Women don’t want to date down… there are more women in college… women are fed up. They’d rather stay single than take care of someone who doesn’t lift a finger.” (08:16)

• Dating App Critique: The problem isn’t the tech, it’s “the quality of people on the apps. The quality is really bad. I mean, it looks like they fell out of prison.” (09:06)

3. Non-Negotiables & Standards (10:10)

• Both Kat and Patti stress the importance of knowing what you want:

  Kat: “For me, I literally write a non-negotiables list.”
  Patti: “I’ve made a lot of mistakes based on chemistry...I made my own money, so I didn’t need to be on the sugar daddy list.” (10:25)

• On Paying for Dates:
  Both agree men should pay, especially at the start:

  Patti: “I’m not going 50/50. Bring it or get out of the way, I’m not taking care of you.” (11:09)

4. Younger Women's Changing Attitudes (11:53)

• Patti notes today’s younger women are more sober, focused, and ambitious, with higher standards and no interest in supporting “lazy” men:

  “If we don’t see quality, why would we get out of bed for it?” (12:45)

• Her advice to men: “If you want to stand out from the pack and get that 10 or that 8 girl, you need to fucking pay attention and actually ask her out.” (12:47)

5. On Men’s Approach & Confidence (13:24)

• Patti calls out men for being lazy rather than shy, emphasizing women want confidence (alphas, not betas):

  “You want a guy who’s got confidence and is an alpha.” (13:31)

6. App Fatigue, Frustration, and Advice (15:32, 16:46)

• Patti’s App Take:

  “Bumble’s a great interface… but we pick on Bumble, so it might attract some feminine men who want to get picked.” (17:06)

• She suggests apps aren’t bad, but there’s “lots of room to make a high-quality app” and jokes about making her own.

7. Character Over Resume – Vetting Partners (18:50)

• Patti urges women to look beyond superficial traits:

  “Stop looking at just, how much money does he make, is he good-looking. … What kind of person is he…? Number one question I ask on a first date is, how do you resolve conflict?” (19:16)

8. Matchmaking: Process, Pitfalls, and Why It Works (20:08, 22:03, 23:09)

• Quality of Matchmakers:
  Patti emphasizes using certified and experienced matchmakers:

  “Go to the top—go to someone at the top of their game.” (21:44)

• Patti’s Process & Database:
  • She’s selective, takes about 30 clients a year globally, and screens thoroughly.

    “We have the largest database in the business... If I can’t find the fit, I’ll outsource you.” (23:28, 24:01)

• Results:
  • Most clients meet their match by the third person.

    “Statistically, the third person you meet is the one you end up with.” (29:48)

9. Sex, Exclusivity & The Science Behind Attraction (33:10)

• Wait for Monogamy:
  Patti insists on “sex only after exclusivity”:

  “Sex before monogamy—he gives you monogamy on the first date, you can; but you’re at risk… Men don’t fall in love with sex, they fall in love through doing things for you.” (33:13)

  • “If a man pressures you, he’s not your guy. He won’t protect you when you’re exclusive or married.” (35:45)

10. The Real Patti vs TV Persona (36:59)

• Patti shares she’s more laid-back in real life, contrary to her TV tough-love image:

  “I have a work persona. When I hit my house, I like to relax... I’m very feminine, very zen. … In my real business, I have plenty of time to work with clients one-on-one.” (37:01, 37:56)

11. On Trauma, Therapy, and Manifestation (46:02, 48:05)

• Patti discusses her personal journey through trauma, healing, and spiritual response therapy, emphasizing the importance of “protecting your energy,” processing trauma, and maintaining high standards.

12. Raising Your Frequency & Self-Love (49:26)

• The central message: know your worth, maintain your frequency, and never settle:

  “You only get the love you think you deserve.” (51:47)

• Patti urges listeners to stay home, laugh, and enjoy their own company over settling for less.

13. The Real Story of St. Valentine (52:19)

• Patti recounts the origin of Valentine’s Day, underscoring its roots in sacrifice, secret love, and authenticity.

14. Closing Empowerment & Encouragement (53:38–54:41)

• Patti’s mantra:

  “Don’t settle for the wrong one. Better to be alone than have a project that never ends that drains the crap out of you.” (53:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dating Standards:
  “Bring it or get out of the way—I'm not taking care of you.” — Patti (11:21)
• On Modern Dating Apps:
  “It’s nothing. I’m not faulting the apps, I’m faulting the blush put me on and it’s way too young for me.” — Patti (17:15)
• On Men Who Complain:
  “When you hear a guy on the first phone call start complaining about money, his career—run.” — Patti (14:02)
• On Relationship Dynamics:
  “The only get the love you think you deserve.” — Patti (51:47)
• On Protecting Energy in Love:
  “The minute that guy gets inside of you, he will siphon off your energy... You are, if their energy is not clean and above board... you’re gonna feel like crap after a while.” — Patti (50:41)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Valentine’s Week, Singlehood Advice: 06:00–07:40
• Women Dating Standards, Why More Singles: 08:14–09:33
• Chemistry vs Financial Security, Non-negotiables: 10:11–11:44
• On Sober Younger Women, Global Shifts: 11:53–12:45
• Men: Confidence vs. Laziness: 13:24–13:36
• Dating App Fatigue & Quality: 15:32–17:15
• Vetting Partners for Character: 18:50–19:16
• Matchmaking Industry & Process: 20:08–24:01
• Success Rate of Matchmaking: 29:41–29:54
• Sex & Exclusivity Rules: 33:10–35:45
• Patti’s Real-Life vs TV Persona: 36:59–37:56
• On Trauma Healing & Manifestation: 46:02–48:05
• Raising Your Frequency & Self-Worth: 49:26–51:47
• St. Valentine’s Story: 52:19–53:14
• Final Empowerment & Encouragement: 53:38–54:41

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Summary & Takeaways

This episode is an empowering, no-nonsense guide to dating in the modern world—especially for women. Patti Stanger emphasizes self-respect, high standards, and energetic boundaries. Don’t be afraid to be single, don’t settle, and demand what you deserve. Whether you’re debating apps, considering a matchmaker, or just hoping to find clarity, the wisdom here is clear: the only love you get is the love you believe you deserve.

“Don’t settle for the wrong one. Better to be alone than have a project that never ends that drains the crap out of you.” (53:40)

Resource for Matchmaking:
Millionaires Club 123 — Patti’s global matchmaking database.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Visit t mobile.com in honor of Valentine's Day this week, I brought a super special guest to talk to us about dating, about relationships, about love, about how to find the perfect match. None other than the queen of all queens, the queen of all matchmakers, Patty Stanger. I had Patty on the show a few years ago. She was so, so kind to come back. I don't think there's anybody when it comes to matchmaking that knows as much and has as much experience as Patty. And I love her no nonsense approach. For you guys that have been living under a rock, I don't know who she is. Patty is an entrepreneur, reality television personality, founder and CEO of Millionaires Club International. She's known for staring and producing in her own matchmaking series. First the Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo, then Patty Staying Stanger Millionaire Matchmaker on the cw. She's known for her tough love and outspoken dating advice. I hope you guys enjoy this fabulous episode with the fabulous, fabulous no BS Patty Stanger. Are you thinking about planning an amazing vacation or weekend getaway and don't know where to start? Do you want the options of amazing hotels or short term vacation homes in a dreamy destination? Or maybe you need a fabulous venue for a really special occasion such as a wedding or family reunion. All you need to do is reach out to Prive Elie, top luxury concierge services company in the world. Priveli has a lifestyle management team passionate and skilled in arranging business or leisure trips anywhere around the globe. Private yachts, all kinds of transportations, special experiences, sporting events and much more. Take a look at their website www.prevela. that's P R I V E E L A. Tell them what you need and all your dreams will become reality. On Instagram, same name, Privet LA luxury concierge services at your disposal worldwide. Are you an entrepreneur, business owner, or major expert in your field? Guess what? Your knowledge is worth money and you can monetize it. Maybe you already even have a course out there in one of these video uploading platforms and you're super frustrated because you don't know how to grow your brand. Let me tell you about Lightspeed vt, the only high technology, multi million dollar interactive training system in the world. And this is why Fortune 500 companies, CEOs, entrepreneurs and some of the most successful people on the planet, such as Grant Cardone, Cardone University, Tony Robbins, Daymond John are using it and making millions of dollars there. With Lightspeed, you will be able to monetize your knowledge and your online courses and millions of times faster and take your business to the next level by reaching a massive audience quickly, generating hundreds of thousands in monthly revenue and scaling super quickly. You want to see a demo? You want to get a free consultation? DM me, I'll hook you up or send a message. Text WhatsApp to 310-692-0578 and start the year monetizing your content big time on LightSpeed VT. Patty, welcome to Cat on the Loose.

[A]

Hi, how are you?

[B]

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[A]

So.

[B]

So go to bedjukait me cat69 and give yourself a gift that will last.

[A]

Thank you very much for inviting me.

[B]

So ever since the first time you're on the show, like I think it was a couple years ago and we were so small and now we grew into this big worldwide community. I've been bombarded with questions for you.

[A]

Oh, okay, we're done.

[B]

Yeah. So my team, like, we were looking like there's over 100. So I'm like, let's try to pack up as much as we possibly can here. It's Valentine's week, the week of love. So I want to start with that because I know a lot of people this week, singles, they get really sad, really depressed. Like what you suggest, should the singles, like just take a break from dating and stay home this week or go for it and maybe there are other singles out there.

[A]

It's really weird right now post Covid and the world has kind of gone upside down. Like in California, we're depressed right now because the fires and it's our third last max exodus. Everybody's leaving again. I'm like a girl that just ignore Valentine's Day. I'm in an ignore phase. Like, if you're going through hell, get your favorite foods, watch favorite movies, go with your girls. You can do a Galentine's day. You want to drink earlier than later because you don't want to hit the prefix at the restaurant. But it's like no big deal. Men don't think about it. It's not their thing. So they don't. So they're not like looking at it. Like, is their year in review, like their New Year's Eve or something?

[B]

I know I see so many women getting depressed, but I'm kind of like you, Like, I'm like, I get my girls and yeah, I get my girls. Like, let's have pizza. Or dinner.

[A]

But by Friday, it'll be, by Saturday morning, it's over. It's not a big deal. It's just, you know, it's a Hallmark holiday, really.

[B]

Yeah, I agree.

[A]

And it's not the end all to be all to your love life. It's not a report card.

[B]

Yeah, I agree. Do you think I heard somebody say on social media, I forgot who it was? They're like, no, it's a great day for singles to be out because they're a lot of singles everywhere.

[A]

If you see a guy out, normally he doesn't have a girlfriend unless, you know, she's in the army or something. But you would go earlier than later, like happy hour and then get out. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Good idea. I've seen a lot of experts, and I say that quote because most people claim they're experts with dating relationship, and they're not. But a lot of talk about that on social media lately, that there has never been more singles than now.

[A]

Yes. The statistics.

[B]

Why do you think that is?

[A]

Because women don't want to date down. So they found out that the men are economically behind the women. There are more women in college. We may not get equal pay for equal dollar, but there's more of us than there are men, especially in the boomer category. And women, they're fed up. They're like, I'm not taking care of you, paying for you, doing for you, 50, 50 plus taking care of the kids. And you don't lift a finger. So they're like, rather than that, they've opted to either A, not get married and have children, or B, they can't find the mate. The biggest problem they see is people can't find one another. That's like my number one gripe that I get. And it's true. I was on the apps last night. And it's not the app's fault. It's the quality of people on the apps. The quality is really bad. I mean, it looks like they fell out of prison.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, and by age 50, you think they'd own a house and you would think they have a lifestyle, but they don't. They don't. Just don't. And I looked all over the country. I didn't look in California. I looked in Miami. I looked in Boston. I looked in Chicago. I looked in New York. It was pretty bad.

[B]

It's not a California problem. Right? Yeah.

[A]

Because I got this message.

[B]

It's been everywhere.

[A]

I've been in France last summer, I looked. I looked in Italy, and there's not A lot of quality men on these apps. You got a lot of great women.

[B]

You think there's a lot of quality women, but the issue is like, so there's a lot more great women than men.

[A]

Women tend to pull themselves together resource wise. They will get their hair, makeup done, they'll make sure they have money in their bank account, they are paying their rent. And they want to know that the trajectory of a man is not its potential. They've reached the trajectory. Like, I'm in tech. I'm going to own my own tech firm one day. I'm CEO of this one. Like, they want to know there's an end game if they're going to mate with you and bear your children. Now if you're not, if you're older, like over 50, you definitely don't want to die down. You definitely don't want to waste time.

[B]

No, I agree. And I'm like that. And I know a lot of my girlfriends are like that. And people ask me, why are you too single? As I sing, I say I'm really, really picky and I do this non negotiable list. I don't know what you think about that.

[A]

I've done the same thing.

[B]

Yeah, for me, like I literally write on a piece of paper.

[A]

I've made a lot of mistakes based on chemistry because you're either chemistry ruled, which is sex or. Or money ruled. Sometimes you get both, but 90% of the time it's one or the other. I was always chemistry ruled. Got me in a lot of trouble and I couldn't help it. I would go out with a rich guy and he wasn't good looking or I wasn't attracted and I'd be like, I can't do this.

[B]

I know you have to have chemistry rules.

[A]

I made my own money, so I didn't need to be on the sugar daddy list.

[B]

We don't want a guy to pay our bills. However, I always say that on the podcast and on social media. And I know it's very controversial, but you probably agree with me. Even if we don't want the guy to support us and pay our bills, I think a guy should.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I come pay for days, pay for dinner.

[A]

I'm a raised a Jewish girl. Okay, so I'm not going 50. 50. Same. I've done 50, I've taken care of and I've done it. Oh my God, it's been awful.

[B]

I cannot imagine you doing that.

[A]

I was younger, made mistakes. Like I said, I made mistakes. And then I'm at the Place in my life where, you know, bring it or get out of the way because I'm not taking care of you.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

I'm not doing. And I also, you know, like the nurse with the purse thing, I'm not doing that either. Like, you know, he's got to be in my age group, you know, fit and in shape and have the qualities that I'm looking for.

[B]

I totally agree.

[A]

Otherwise I don't need this aggravation. I'd rather stay home and watch television.

[B]

Same. I'd rather stay home with my dogs. But I think more and more women are like that. They're just getting so.

[A]

The younger women are sober now, so they're not drinking and they're not partying and they're clear headed, way clear headed than we were ever because we didn't know that alcohol and pot would give us brain damage, you know, as Dr. Amen says. But the women now are sober, they're making more money. Like in Korea, it started where they went on strike. I forget what it's called, like the four T's or something. You could look this up because they're doing it in America now where they went on strike. They're like, we're making money. The boys were in their parents house jacking off to porn and playing video games. And they're like, no, no, we're making money as influencers. Making successful money in skincare and beauty. And you're doing nothing. I'm not going to take care of you. I know. And so it kind of travels around the world, this momentum, because they're like, if we don't see quality, why would we get out of bed for it?

[B]

I agree. And I always mention that, you know.

[A]

I see so many and I'm not down on men. I'm telling men, like, if you want to stand out from the pack and get that 10 or that eight girl, you need to fucking pay attention and actually ask her out. Initiate. You know, whether you're going to slip into her DMs or go on a nap or see her at the grocery store, like at Whole Foods would be fantastic. But approach, because you're going to stand out compared to all the men that don't ask her out. I'm talking about beautiful women that don't get asked out.

[B]

Yeah, no, I, I think men are very shy in public. Most men I see, like super successful men that don't approach.

[A]

I think they're lazy. You think they're lazy? Lazy. There's not a, I don't think shyness because you don't want a shy man. You want a man with confidence.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

You want late. You don't want a lazy guy. You want a guy who's got confidence and is an alpha.

[B]

Totally. No, I agree.

[A]

The beta women are not going to become alpha for the man. They don't want it.

[B]

Yeah. And I see a lot of guys complain that going on dates is very expensive. Like, I'm paying for dinner, I'm paying.

[A]

For this, I'm paying for that.

[B]

It drives me crazy when they do that because we spend even more, Right? Like they don't know how much it costs for us to look fabulous. Right. It costs so much money to be like a high quality woman.

[A]

When you hear a guy on the first phone call start complaining about money, his career, run.

[B]

Oh, I do run.

[A]

He is a cheapskate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He doesn't want response. I bet she's never been married, didn't have kids. Like he's got nothing going on. Get out of there. Get out of there.

[B]

I agree. I think guys should provide. Like, even if it's dates, right? There's no question about it.

[A]

The reason the world works prior to this in the old school way is because women were meant to bear the children and the man was supposed to provide and protect. Now men don't really want to provide and protect at all.

[B]

Oh my God. So where are the. But there are guys.

[A]

There are guys there. It's just like one in ten, you know, like one in ten.

[B]

Maybe one in a hundred.

[A]

Okay, wait. Okay, maybe in LA. LA at 20.

[B]

But you know, the people in New York say the same thing. Like, I can't find a guy in New York.

[A]

No, no. Every, everybody. It's a good idea to switch cities every now and then because then you're the new fish in the new pond. And it's like if you keep going the same place over and over again, it's the definition of insanity. So you might want to. Like, for instance, I'm going for two weeks in March and I'm single right now.

[B]

Where are you going?

[A]

To Miami. So I'll go down there and I'll date for a while. And it's one of my happy places. And so I went to college down there and my friends are there. And it's gonna be a different experience than it is in California, which everyone's depressed cause of the fires and no one's getting out of the house. And what I just saw online was, I mean, I looked at Hinge last night, it was pretty bad.

[B]

Yeah, everyone's not saying.

[A]

And it's not Hinge's fault.

[B]

So let's talk about dating apps for a second.

[A]

Apps. The technology is fantastic. Fantastic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You could drop a pin and go anywhere in the world. It's not hinges fault, it's the quality.

[B]

But so I want to ask your opinion about the dating apps. I feel, and this is my perception that a lot of men, even high quality men, men in their 50s, their 60s, are becoming like teenagers again, players again because of the dating apps, because they see so much quantity. But I mean, and they, they're like, oh my God.

[A]

I think that you're looking for character so you wouldn't look at him anyway. It's all about finding the man who dates within his age group and has good moral character. Otherwise why would you go on a date with some guy you can't like.

[B]

You don't know in the beginning.

[A]

I mean, you're going to become like a plastic surgery junkie at some point to keep up with the Joneses. No, he's not your guy. Your guy is somebody who sees you, sees you, the inside of you as well as the outside of you. Otherwise, forget it, it's a waste of time.

[B]

And so do you think it is possible to find these great high quality guys that we are looking for on dating apps?

[A]

I think that you gotta keep playing with it. I have friends who've really met great guys. I've been engaged through dating app. So you just gotta keep playing with it. Yeah.

[B]

So it's not a favorite that you recommend?

[A]

No, I mean I'm on Mumble and Hinge. Raya threw me off because I said that Ben Affleck was on it on television. I think it was on one of the talk shows.

[B]

I think Raya's the one that has the most players.

[A]

I got kicked off Match. I just left Match was horrible.

[B]

Yeah, I think Match has the worst, the worst quality.

[A]

Oh God. Match is bad. Bumble is a great interface. The problem is we pick on Bumble the women so it might attract some feminine men who want to get picked.

[B]

Yeah, I don't want to.

[A]

And I just feel like the job markets on these apps are bad. Like in other words, these guys aren't. It's not like LinkedIn and he's a CEO. Like they're just so low rent. It's like I don't want to. It's nothing. I'm not faulting the apps, I'm faulting the blush put me on and it's way too young for me.

[B]

Oh my Gosh, is like that divorce.

[A]

It's like half my age. It's like. But they've got these young guys coming at me and I'm like, my assistant met someone on Blush that she liked, but she's 30. There's not a lot of apps. There's a lot more. I'm going to give you one more thing. For app makers who are going to AI, there's a lot of room to make an app. You know, I'd love to make my own app. There's a lot of room because there's.

[B]

So you should make your high quality app.

[A]

It's the same people over and over again.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And I think they let anybody in there. Like you said to me, it's like finding a diamond in the sand.

[A]

Hopefully they don't let west in there.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Him and Bianca Steari swinging with swastikas on. I want to murder him.

[B]

It's such chaos, right? Did you see the post?

[A]

I cannot believe that NFL and. And I'm surprised. I love the NFL. They made my show a hit. Why would the NFL and FOX allow that? Did somebody not screen it?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

And then Shopify just dropped them. And then we have a situation where the guy who owned American Apparel is the one who makes this stuff and he's Jewish. So we're all like in shock right now.

[B]

He's like, just. It's all about it.

[A]

They had a pop up for the Gap this week and they stopped it. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

As long as people keep giving him a platform to speak up. Right? Yeah, it's horrible.

[A]

But that's an example of character. Like, Kim is cringing in the corner right now because Chris's best friend Shelly Azoff is Jewish. Like, I'm sure, like, they have a million Jewish friends. But you wanna look at the character of the person. Like, stop looking at just like, how much money does he make? Is he good looking? Is it like, what kind of person is he? Was he with his exes, his ex wife, his children, his mother, the waitress? Like, what's he like?

[B]

No, I totally agree.

[A]

I think you have to. Does he have a temper? How does he resolve conflict? Like, number one question I asked on a first date is, how do you resolve conflict?

[B]

That's okay. It's a really deep one.

[A]

It's a very telling question. And it'll. The guy's like, Well, I first react by screaming. Well, he's like.

[B]

But you know, usually on first D dates, second dates, everybody's like on their best behavior. These Guys will say anything. Like, right. They lie. They. It happens over and over. I keep saying, like, just be real, be yourself. But in the first dates, they will try to, like, show you that they're the nicest guy in the world. So it's really hard to see past that.

[A]

Right, Exactly.

[B]

It's really tough. So other than the dating apps, what are your suggestions?

[A]

Well, I'm a matchmaker, and.

[B]

No, I know. I want to.

[A]

Matchmakers are the best.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

They're worth every penny. They can be quite expensive. 50 to 150 grand. But they are worth. But that's okay.

[B]

So hold on. Let's. Because that's.

[A]

That was gonna be one you're gonna have to pay.

[B]

So to work with you, it's between 50.

[A]

No, mine, I'm like 85 to 250. Because I'm the leader.

[B]

Of course. You're the queen.

[A]

And the industry has changed. It's mostly women. Women are the ones who are paying now.

[B]

This is what I want people to listen to, because we got questions about that all over the world.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A lot of people and friends of mine as well. They try matchmakers. And if you guys go to YouTube to see my hands, my sign, the video quote, unquote. Because there are so many girls out there that know nothing about matching. I fell for one last. I didn't pay. But I'll tell you. I'll tell you the freaking story. You're gonna die of a heart attack. No, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. But she. Because this girl's like, I'm a matchmaker.

[A]

I'm gonna match you. Yep.

[B]

And then they end up falling like, this person matched me. I'll. I'll tell you really quickly. This person matched me with a dude. Turns out he didn't have a job. He was a big con artist. He started stalking me on social media, writing crap about me, and almost physically.

[A]

Attacked me on the street. And when I don't have that job, I don't have that problem. Well, the reason is, it's not. Is that where's wood I need.

[B]

But listen, when I told her about it, she was. She was like, it's not my fault. I'm never going to match her. Don't contact me again. She was mad at me because I mentioned to her that the guy was a psycho.

[A]

So a lot.

[B]

It happens to a lot of people.

[A]

Okay, now tell me who it is and edit it out. I will. No. Edit it out.

[B]

Cat on the Loose is not edited. It's 100 organic it's the number one organic podcast in the world.

[A]

The whole world.

[B]

I don't. Okay, but listen, so a lot of people go to these cheaper matchmakers and they get horrible results and then they call, oh, I'm never going to use a matchmaker. And I say, hence, go to the top. Go to someone who has at the top of their game as yourself. So what would you say to someone.

[A]

Out there that well, you have to get certified. We have the Matchmakers Institute of New York, which is my ex assistant, which is like going to Hogwarts and Harvard had a baby and I teach there. So does my business partner, Bonnie Winston. And you got to make sure, like I've been in business for over 35 years. I'm third generation. I ran Great Expectations. I mean I have a history, you know, like I don't have any problems. Like you don't see me in the news getting sued or whatever.

[B]

No. And you would never match someone with some crappy asshole that you didn't veto before.

[A]

No, because we only get really wealthy, high end, super successful CEOs and you know, entrepreneurs and people like that. We don't get people like that.

[B]

And it's one of the most important decisions of your life. That's what I tell people.

[A]

I mean, I can't take 150 grand from a woman and not screen the guy. Like that's crazy. I would be sued. No, we don't do that.

[B]

So go to the best. And can you explain the process? So let's say somebody says, because I have a lot of really wealthy guy friends that want to get married.

[A]

We do. Men and women do, gay and straight.

[B]

So let's say somebody says, okay, I want to work with Patty, I want her to find me a husband, a wife, whatever. What's. Can you like explain the process?

[A]

Well, I mean they would, we would come in and we would set up a zoom or local depending on where they lived. And then we would see if it's a fit on both sides, what they're looking for versus what we have and what we can do to go outside our database. We have the largest database in the business. There's nobody bigger than me globally.

[B]

So the database is.

[A]

I'm not just the United States.

[B]

The database is people that might be.

[A]

A match to your clients that are the non millionaires.

[B]

And how do you get on your data? Because maybe a lot of people cannot afford to be your client. How can they be on your database?

[A]

They can just go to the website@muneaires club123.com anybody can apply. Anybody can apply.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not likely to get a date more than the clients get the date. And I only take about 30 clients a year. I'm very strict on that. That's I take. And then if I can't find it for you or I don't feel we're a good fit, I will outsource you to one of my affiliate matchmakers who I work with.

[B]

So. Okay. But you do you approve? Obviously you don't approve everybody that wants to be on your database.

[A]

No database is like anybody can go in there. But once I go for screening process. Yeah, if you don't, you know, if you do pull a stunt on something now you're kicked.

[B]

How can you give us an idea how you screen someone? Because I'm shocked.

[A]

I cannot screen give you my information because it's proprietary and my. And who's.

[B]

My competitors are going to try to.

[A]

I do a little background thing that I do myself that I check to.

[B]

See if they're so you.

[A]

I have ways of knowing if persons.

[B]

So all your clients are millionaires? Like multi millionaire. Multi millionaires. They're very picky.

[A]

And billionaires, A lot of billionaires.

[B]

So they're very picky.

[A]

Yeah. You see Forbes 400 lists. I've got a lot of them.

[B]

Wow. So obviously the people on the list.

[A]

And I've got a lot of a list celebrities that you would know too.

[B]

So I think that you should be as much as you possibly want to find in a partner yourself.

[A]

Do you agree to agree. But I mean when a man is the alpha to a woman's beta, you know, it's a different energy. Like it's all that energy really. It's all about chemistry, compatibility, communication, you know, consistency. Consistency is really key. Like you could deal. I had one CEO I was dating and he was so inconsistent. I was just like, I have no patience. He's like, no woman has ever told me that they wouldn't wait for me because of work. And I went, well, this woman is. You're not what I'm looking for. I'd rather have somebody who makes less money and we have consistency. And he wanted me to wait for him. And I was like, no, I don't really like that.

[B]

You want you to wait for him.

[A]

To be ready for the day. So that when he. His work eased up and it wasn't like we started off and then his work happened, it was like he started off a workaholic. So it was turned me off because I work really hard too. But I know Priorities. I know how to prioritize my time with my mate. Anyway, this person was very famous in the news. He was very nasty. I got fixed up through another matchmaker, obviously, because we all work together. Everybody wants to.

[B]

So you all know each other. I mean, I think they all aspire to be you at the end of the day.

[A]

I told the matchmaker what he did wrong, and the matchmaker's like, but he's CEO of X. And this matchmaker was a male. And I said, who cares? He treats women like shit. Bye. Next.

[B]

I agree. That's not acceptable.

[A]

And then once in a while, I get a phone call from him and I just delete it. Last time, I blocked him. So how you treat someone is so much more important than his resume. Like, his resume is one thing, but if he treats women like crap, or women treating men like crap, same thing. Or gay people, it doesn't matter. How you treat someone is really important.

[B]

I completely agree. For example, I know one thing that women do a lot is, like, they're crazy late for a date because they think it's cool. And that's Latin.

[A]

Very Latin. Y. The Latin community does that.

[B]

Ladies do that.

[A]

You have to trick them.

[B]

And believe me, I'm Latin, and I never make people wait for me.

[A]

I'm like, I'm earlier on time.

[B]

Same.

[A]

My parents trained me that way.

[B]

Same. I agree. I'm always. I'm right there. I'm very respectful. People's time.

[A]

I had a best friend from Columbia when I lived in Miami, and I used to trick her every single time to come on time because we'd be waiting at the restaurant for her and we couldn't get the table. And I said, I can't do this anymore, and it's so disrespectful. And she'd be like, but I took care of my. She's like, char. But I took care of my hair and my makeup. I'm like, who cares?

[B]

I know. Who cares?

[A]

Come in jeans and put eyeliner and go. And lip gloss. Let's go.

[B]

I agree. And. But some women think, oh, the more the guy waits. And I'm like, this is such a game.

[A]

Men don't like that.

[B]

Men don't like that.

[A]

Men. I get complaints on that. If a woman is late, she gets a probation. Then she's thrown out of the club on the second time.

[B]

I love that. Because I'm like you. I'm insanely punctual. I'm insanely respectful.

[A]

My clients wouldn't go for that.

[B]

But what I mean is, Like, I think if you want somebody that is really fit, you should be fit yourself if you want somebody. You know what I mean? Like, you should have certain characteristics.

[A]

Like attracts, like to a degree. But there are plenty of women that don't hit the gym that the man does. He's Mr. Bodybuilder and she like, you know, goes and gets a massage or maybe has an hour of Pilates. Like, don't put yourself so strongly. Like you have to get, you know, if you're rich, then you can only get rich. That's dumb.

[B]

Yeah, that doesn't.

[A]

Men like women who really don't make very much money. They're actually the ones that get the most.

[B]

I think they're dated by women. Right. That work a lot. They are super secure. I think that's harder.

[A]

They don't like successful women, and this is a big problem. They're intimidated by women's success, but they're falling behind economically. They don't have hustle. Now, you have to understand scientifically, women use both sides of the brain, but they were never engineered to be the breadwinner. And eventually when they get to menopause, they crash into an autoimmune disease because they've overstressed their adrenals, which they weren't supposed to do. Because this whole. You can have it all. Oh, fry it up in a pan was this commercial back in the day when I was a kid. You know, I'm every woman. Fry it up in a pan. I can be rich, I can be successful. I can make it from my kitchen table and I can have four kids like Alec Baldwin's wife. And I. And I, you know, and I can basically take care of my man at the same time and mother him and he's never going to leave me. And. No, that's not really true.

[B]

Yeah, I know, but so if somebody's your client and they're paying, so how many dates you. You try to match until they find the right person?

[A]

No, no, you get unlimited dating for the period of the membership that you buy. Okay. And maybe a freeze period. Depends what membership. We have very different memberships.

[B]

Okay, but what's normally the rate of matches that they get?

[A]

Unlimited. Unlimited.

[B]

No, but like, I meant the percentage of people that you actually, usually it's.

[A]

By the third person you meet is the one you end up with.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Statistically? Yeah.

[B]

Any reason for that?

[A]

No, it's just the way it's always. It's always been that way.

[B]

But most people do find their match.

[A]

Yeah. Unless they've changed Sometimes people change their style and then they just keep going through it or they don't listen and they pick wrong. Other times, you know, they've been cheated on. They had issues like that. But 99% if they do, we have a system. If they do the system, they find love. I never have a problem with that.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

That's not the least of my problems. The one complaint I get is you gave me too many choices of people and I don't know what to do. And can you help me narrow it down?

[B]

They like more than one person.

[A]

No, no, no. I've given them too many choices in the course of their membership and they can't decide which ones they like because they like them all. Yeah.

[B]

Let's take a really quick break and talk about very easy quick fix for a problem that a lot of us have super tired eyes. If you're crazy busy like me some days there's no amount of makeup in the world that can hide your tired eyes. And this is why I partnered with MAR Marine Collagen eye gels and Collagen facial masks. Dermatologist recommended with hyaluronic acid and pearl extract. A professional treatment for puffy eyes, dark circles and eye bags. MAR M a re eye gels are a fast and delicate fix for tired eyes. I them they're suitable for all skin types and also exfoliate tired skin. This is why I like them. Because some days, especially after long, long, long hectic work schedules, right, I wake up and my eyes are so puffy, I look at myself in the mirror like, oh my God, what I'm going to do. You put them on for a few minutes and they depuff your skin so fast. You can get yours right now on Amazon or right on their website. Imarie.com I am as in Mary A R E E.com Professional treatment for dark circles, bags under your eyes. Super fast. Dermatologist tested for all skin types. I absolutely love them. And if you guys love taking care of your bodies and health as much as I do, I invite you to check out this brand that I love so much. Nutra Harmony. Look well, feel well, be well, stay beautiful on the outside with care and health from the inside. Nutra Harmony is your daily dose of perfection, confidence, health and beauty. Each supplement is made for you with love and care. Made in the USA with globally sourced all natural ingredients. I love their biotin with collagen. I am obsessed with their hair mask. They have so many incredible products. I invite you to check out their website and shop now. Nutra harmony.com or you can go directly on their Amazon store. You will absolutely love the quality of their products. I am completely hooked and I highly recommend them. Oh, my God. What do you think about the sex? It's very controversial, right?

[A]

I think means sex before monogamy. My thing.

[B]

Yes, that's what I want to ask.

[A]

It's not controversial. It's true.

[B]

But you think you shouldn't have sex after a few dates.

[A]

No, sex before monogamy. He gives you monogamy on the first date. You can, but you're at risk. The more time you spend with him without sex, the more his testosterone raises. This is science. Vasopressin kicks in. Vasopressin is him doing things for you. Doing things together, solving problems. That's how a man falls in love. When a man falls in love through vasopressin, oxytocin kicks in, and that's when he falls in love. He can't fall in love with oxytocin. We have sex. Oxytocin kicks in, we fall in love. He does not fall in love through sex. He falls in love through doing for you.

[B]

So let's say you meet someone, you go on one date, two dates, three dates. You just keep going on dates until he says, I want to date you exclusively.

[A]

He basically will hit on you at some point and you'll say, I am so sexually attracted. And by the way, this is all in my book. Become your own matchmaker. You can get it on Amazon. I'm super sexually attracted, but I'm just not the type of girl that sleeps around. Stop. Do not fill in the blanks. Do not mother him. Do not give him a question. Let that awkward pause happen. And he'll be like, you know, well, I really like you. He's going to say. And you're going to say, well, I don't feel safe, you know, unless I have exclusivity. And he's probably going to go, A, I thought we were exclusive because he assumed it, or B, wait, I got to try the car before I buy it. If he says, I try to try the car before I buy it, he's not your guy. But 90% of the time, he'll say, I think we should try this exclusivity. And then you say, what does exclusivity mean to you? And he'll explain, but exclusivity means we're only dating each other and we're only having sex with each other. Okay? Doesn't mean you're getting married. And at nine months, then you'll negotiate marriage. The man will know in six months, probably by six months. If you're the one. That's science, by the way. This is all science.

[B]

How many dates? Normally someone should go out with a guy.

[A]

You're acting like it's one size fits all for every man you date. Every man is different. The man that's really gonna love you is gonna take your time and let you feel safe. Eventually you'll jump em, you'll go, I want it now. Okay.

[B]

They're not gonna pressure you. I think it's a bad sign because most guys pressure women.

[A]

You know, if a man pressures you, he's not your guy. He's not your guy because he won't protect you after you get a good exclusive or when you're married. He's not interested in your protection. He's only interested in his own self pleasure. And you don't want that. You want a man that's interested in your pleasure. There are plenty of men who don't give a shit that a woman has an orgasm and could care less if he got her one.

[B]

Yeah, that's not good at all.

[A]

And that's another thing. So you want to be with a man who puts you on the pedestal first. You want princess treatment. Princess treatment is. I demand princess treatment without even saying anything. It's just an energetic thing which is saying I deserve the best. You're gonna wait if it takes a month or three months to have sex. And you'll know when it's right. You'll know when it's right.

[B]

Yeah. I think it's a horrible idea.

[A]

It's not when you get pressure and you fall down. It's usually when you're sober and it's usually when he's telling you how much he cares for you.

[B]

Yeah, go now. A lot of people ask. They see your, your fabulous TV shows. Now they're playing the Netflix on Netflix. Yeah. You've done so many. And I get this question a lot. I'm sure people ask you all the time is the Patty that we see on because you're like tough love. It's the same Patty in real life.

[A]

Look, I tv.

[B]

You play a little bit for tv.

[A]

I have a work Persona. And then when I hit my house, I like to relax. I like to be in my sanctuary. And I'm very feminine and very zen. I learned over the years how to switch from alpha to beta. When I go through that door, I only attract. I only like alpha men. The minute a man like I've had boyfriends where they Start off alpha, and then about six months in, they want to switch to beta and make you alpha. And I'm like, I'm out the door. I'm always out. And if they don't get it, I'm out the door. I am total beta. When I'm in a relationship, I'm exactly the same.

[B]

I think, because we are so much in charge when we are working. Right? Charge, charge. I'm, like, always telling, but in my personal relationship, yeah, I want the guy to take charge, for sure. But so how is it working with you? Not on tv, but, like, being your client, Everything is the same kind of flaw. You have the rules. You're more chill.

[A]

No, I'm very chill. I don't scream. I don't yell at the clients. I wouldn't have clients, but that's okay. No, I am. Look, we had 42 minutes to tell a story and get that thing moving. And it was like, go, go, go, go, go. That's how it is at Bravo. But in my real core business, I have plenty of time to work with them. And I work with them one on one. I. They have my personal cell phone number. They can call me anytime they want. I pick up. Look, if I'm sleeping at 2 in the morning, the first thing I get up in the morning, I'll call them. Customer service is very important at the Millionaires Club. My partner, Bonnie and I, we are on it. Most agencies, you do not deal with the owners. And we're very sweet, very compassionate. I have a gay client right now that I want. He's breaking my heart because he's not listening to me, and he keeps making mistakes, and I'm like, eventually, you'll get it. But he calls me a lot, and we counsel him a lot, and I don't complain about it. That's what you paid me for.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're also, like some sort of therapist.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I don't want to say I'm a doctor because that's.

[B]

Yeah, you're not a doctor, but.

[A]

But I. I do a lot of healing modalities. I'm more of a healer, I would say.

[B]

Yeah, I love that. And you kind of, like, tell them what needs to be done, right? Like, I don't know if it's rules, but you've been doing this for so long. They kind of know what the person should do if you want to be successful in dating.

[A]

Yeah, I have to give them guidance. They don't always listen. It takes, like, sometimes takes three strikes for them to get it. It's like an addict, you know, they got to get help. And sometimes I recommend a therapist if they're very trauma driven, which a lot of people are trauma driven, as we know now. And, you know, you get a lot of narcissists because this is what it's like out in the business world. Yeah. And they're very selfish. No one's ever said no to them. So, yeah, there's that too.

[B]

So what's next for you?

[A]

What are you working on? Well, I'm working on my real business. We just opened an office in soho and we're about to build Miami. I'm very excited about that. I'm going to Miami in two weeks and we have an office in SoHo. We merged with Bonnie Winston Matchmaking. So we are the leader in the industry. We have the largest database. I'm writing a book on manifestation. And I'm up for some stuff that I can't really talk about because it's too. I'd have to kill you.

[B]

Oh, my God, please don't kill me yet. It's such an honor having you. I know a lot of people out there are saying, I want to be on her database. I'm sure you said you have the largest database. Go to Millionaires Club.

[A]

It's an S in it. Millionaires Club.

[B]

What are the chances that if we are in your database, I'm going to put myself there, by the way, to people in there.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I volunteer.

[A]

I can't. Like, when a matchmaker does a search, you never know who's going to come.

[B]

There's no problem. Sol, if. If you have a client in la, let's say Cat is there, you're gonna go through thousands and thousands of girls. It's kind of like winning the lottery, right?

[A]

Kind of. Kind of.

[B]

Kind of like. But it's worth spending.

[A]

I mean, it's so much better to be a client. So much.

[B]

Yeah. If you have money, right? If you have money to spend.

[A]

But no, I say to people like, okay, we had this client recently and he wanted to spend 35 grand in an investment fund. And I said, what if I told you with one of my. I have other matchmakers, not me. What if I told you I could get you that deal with a junior matchmaker for three months and you'd find love? Or you just have money. And he was like Hemming talking to his investment banker, his lawyer. He was a little triage and he came back and he bought because he said, I'm so lonely in Florida. And now he's in love. I got it to him in the first month. Now he's madly in love. He's on the west coast of Florida, happy as a pig. And three months with the junior matchmaker on my staff and he's happy as forever.

[B]

So there are different layers. It's not just.

[A]

Well, with me and Bonnie, most people want me, of course, But I have, I've trained.

[B]

What I say is, like I said in the beginning, don't fall for ask like the track record. Look who you are working with before you complain.

[A]

Well, there's a lot of lawsuits with the other match.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And they don't look at it.

[B]

And most of them are. Are new in. They have no idea what the hell they're doing.

[A]

The old ones don't work with the people direct. I do. We don't take on that many. We take about 30 on a year.

[B]

I always say, like, the cheap ends up being expensive. And finding the right partner is probably the most important decision you're ever gonna make in your life. Because I think it affects everything else.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, we get like. We have really young, cute guns. They're trust fund kids in their 20s and their mother will buy them 100 grand membership. And they're gorgeous and stunning and the mother wants them married by Tuesday. And I've had wedding planners go in there and help. Oh, yeah, I've had like anniversary planners. Like, I've had party planners. I've had a lot of stuff that we outsource in the business. And I had this trust fund came two weeks ago, and he was like, my mom bought this, but I don't want it. I said, okay, I'll just let it sit. And he calls me out. Two days later, my girlfriend broke up with me. My mom didn't want me to marry her. That's why she bought it. Oh, my God. I said, will you give me a chance? He's like, no, I don't believe in this. Blah, blah, blah. Three weeks later, another phone call. Four weeks later, finally, six months later, he calls me and goes, all right, I'm ready to use it. I've been beaten up in LA badly and good looking kid. I said, I have this perfect girl for you. She lives in Calabasas, you live in Woodland Hills. It's going to be a shittagh, like a match in Yiddish. And they're dating.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

And it was like the mother called me going, I'm planning the wedding. You're invited.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You know your game. So it's like. And the guy's like, how does that work? And I said, I read vibration. I read energy. Like you see like on the Millionaire matchmaker in the hot seat. And I just knew what you needed.

[B]

Yeah, you've been doing this a long time.

[A]

I mean, he gave me the. He gave me, like, you know, like Natalie Portman when she was young. Is this dream girl. And I just matched it.

[B]

You knew exactly.

[A]

I matched that girl, like, to the T. Like, Jewish, the whole thing. I was like, this is the girl. Yeah. Yeah, I've had that. Where the guys called me. I had a billionaire once call me up and on his way back from Australia, fishing trip, and said, I want all these models because I used to put the pictures on the website. I don't do that anymore. And I said, okay, I'll give you Mandy, Shmandy and Sandy, but I have a girl that's a teacher, you know, that lives in Venice. I think you should go on one date. No, no, no. He's at the Beverly Hills Hotel in a bungalow. And in the back, he had this big bungalow, and he's like. I said, I'll make a deal with you. I never let a girl go to a bungalow. You will. She'll go to it. You'll have coffee or tea, and she'll be out in an hour. And then I'll give you the models. Calls me right from the bungalow an hour after. Said, cancel all my dates. She's the one. He's married to her to this day.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And had three kids already. And had another three kids with her. He's one of the biggest guys in the furniture.

[B]

Well, that's the thing. A lot of these guys think, like, I have them on the. They don't.

[A]

He wasn't a gorgeous guy. She was adorable. She was a Reese Witherspoon type, and she was a teacher and she wanted kids. He already had three older teenagers. He was, like, not doing that.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Happiest. And they get a card from them every year.

[B]

Thank you so much. So for me, and I know a lot of. My girlfriend. A lot of people out there listening. I'm definitely. I unfortunately cannot afford it yet, but it's my. It's on my bucket list. I'm going to make a lot of money so I can afford. In the meantime, I'm going to put my name. You haven't met anyone?

[A]

Just from the podcast. Like a guy slipping into your DMs or anything?

[B]

Oh, my. All the time. But I'm kind of, like, super picky. Like I said, you know, I know exactly what I'm.

[A]

So you know they're losers dating with intention. So they're like, losers?

[B]

Yes. I'm like, I don't want to make this same mistake again. I'm really happy with my life. I love it.

[A]

Men are. Men are a problem.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm like, men are work. I ask my non negotiable questions and if you don't fit that, I'm like.

[A]

Dude, because you already know what's gonna happen.

[B]

Yeah, I know, but when we were.

[A]

Younger, we didn't know. No, no. So like the young girls, we fall.

[B]

For a lot of shit.

[A]

I mean, also like, a lot of young girls like to experience a lot of different types. Now I know what my type is. I know what I want. And it's not. I'm not wasting time.

[B]

I'm patiently waiting. I'm not desperate. I'm not in a hurry.

[A]

I'm not in a. You know, like, it was really interesting. I took a year and a half off since my last relationship and I met him on Tinder and I made a lot of. And I made a lot of mistakes with him. And I needed to understand why my trauma was so triggered. Because my dad was an alcoholic and my mother normalized the crazy in my house. Like, I didn't realize how she normalized it. So I didn't go to traditional therapy. I went to. I did this thing called spiritual response therapy. It changed my life. The clarity that comes from doing this therapy. I went to a healer who's part of srt. That's the way they do it. They use pendulums and charts and they do it while you're sleeping. And I wouldn't believe this thing would work because talk therapy was. It was never helped me. And it's like, it's okay, you can wait. Like, where's the rush? Where's the fire? Like, most people are like, you go to dinner and your friends are like, what's wrong with you? How come you're entertaining? I have friends that have dropped me because I'm not interesting enough. Because I won't, you know, like, they'll say like, oh, you're not dating anyone. What's wrong with you?

[B]

Like, I think.

[A]

And I thought.

[B]

And I said, that is because they're jealous of you.

[A]

I was like, I'm taking a break. I've no. Because they lived vicariously through me. And I was. I have nothing to talk about anymore because I'm take. I'm just like Zen. I'm total Zen.

[B]

Exactly. Same. I met this point in my life. I'm like, you know, I'm so chill about it. I don't want any.

[A]

It's like if you don't come through that door ready made, I'm not, I'm not dating potential.

[B]

But it's kind of hard to wait and know what we want, right? It's so.

[A]

I mean, and the thing is I have other.

[B]

It's a good place.

[A]

I have one of my ex boyfriends asked me to marry him recently. And I have another ex boyfriend that popped up from Miami. It's like, I think his Venus is going retrograde. I've got all these exes coming back. Even my ex from a year and a half ago contacted me and we started talking. So I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I need new.

[B]

New.

[A]

Where's the new? So like planting the seeds. I'm writing a book on manifestation. Which is, which is different than all the books.

[B]

Please let me know when it comes out.

[A]

It does have science. I am a big fan. You should have Dr. Stewart on your show. Have you had her on?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

I will definitely try.

[A]

She is the queen of manifestation.

[B]

Oh my God. I'm so. I'm all of them.

[A]

She wrote the book called the Source and it's based on science.

[B]

I will definitely.

[A]

And she's British. British Indian. She's fantastic. I follow her like religion and she's just one of the best. Like, like, like Marisa Peer, also a hypnotherapist. One of my best friends. She's like one of the mindvalley people. But she told me that the brain only knows what's familiar. So if you keep telling the brain, you know, you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not this enough. Because we live in LA where everybody's not enough. And we get that. It's like you go to dinner with someone who's so insecure and you go home and you're like, you want to take a shower because you feel so gross. And you're like, I don't understand what just happened. That person was siphoning off your energy as an empath. And so she talks about that. How to protect yourself, how to build the cone of self esteem in your brain so that you wouldn't nobody lower than your frequency come in. So if your frequency is really high, you don't want to date someone at a lower frequency because they're going to pull you down. As Mike Rich grandmother would say, healthy cannot date unhealthy unless they want to Become unhealthy too.

[B]

Oh my God. One million percent.

[A]

That's my grandmother's line.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

And it's so important, so important to look at the frequency of who you're talking to. Not just in love, but in work, friendship, even family members. If the frequency is not right, you don't want to go to Thanksgiving. I'll give you an example. Jesse Waters. Who's, you know, the. I won't call him a name. I can look him up on Fox. Well, he was a big Republican, probably in the wrong way because there's good Republicans and there's bad Republicans. There's good Democrats and there's bad Democrats. I'm not a Republican, I'm an Independent. But anyway, his mom didn't want him at Thanksgiving dinner this year and he didn't understand why. It's his mother. Well, he was doing horrible things. And the mother's like, I can't have you lower my free frequency.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

I thought that was amazing. Like, oh my God, that was.

[B]

But that is so important.

[A]

But like, we don't do that. Like, I moved a thousand miles away from my father because he was an alcoholic and he was drinking, my mom.

[B]

Was an alcoholic and it, it freed me.

[A]

So like, think about that in love. Why are you dating someone just to get sex? Get a vibrator.

[B]

Oh my God. One million. Thank God you're saying that because you have to protect your energy, your space.

[A]

The minute that guy gets inside of you, you, he will siphon off your energy. Same thing with a woman. Same thing with gay people or trans. It doesn't make a difference. Anybody that gets inside of you or you get inside them, it's energy. You are. If their energy is not clean and above board and they haven't scrubbed it good or done the work on themselves, you're gonna feel like crap after a while.

[B]

One million.

[A]

And of course they'll do the snafui and they'll pull away.

[B]

No, thank God you're saying all these things because I hope people listen from you.

[A]

You need to get Dr. Tell my.

[B]

Friends that they don't listen.

[A]

Like Mel Robbins talks about it. Mel Robbins, her book recently Let Em is great. Like all these people are teaching you to be. To be the queen, not the princess.

[B]

The queen.

[A]

When the queen is looking for a mate, everybody comes to Royal Court and. And she decides like, that's what you want. You want to have quarters and say, eh, no.

[B]

And if your energy is high, if your vibration is high, if you know what you deserve, I Think you started like you said? I think you start attracting.

[A]

Okay, the line before we end is, the only. You only get the love you think you deserve.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

The only get the love you think.

[B]

Take.

[A]

Download that. Download that into your computer. Because if you don't think you deserve it.

[B]

I hope you made everybody feel better about Valentine's Day.

[A]

And I'd rather you stay home and watch funny movies and laugh and sing and eat pizza, then go out and feel bad about yourself that you don't have a mate. It's only one day. It doesn't mean shit.

[B]

Thank you. I love.

[A]

I mean, I love Saint. I love the story of Saint. Do you know the story of Saint Valentine?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know that story?

[B]

I don't. I don't know if I know that story.

[A]

Okay. St. Valentine was a priest during the Crusades. And nobody was allowed to get married because the king needed all the men for his. You know, his crusade. And when he was doing the Crusades and the war, the men would jump ship, go AWOL back to their families. So he said, no marriage. Well, St. Valentine, being a priest, thought that was wrong. So he married people in secret and got caught, and they threw him in jail. He was about to be killed, and the warden's daughter was blind, and she came down to give him the food. And he touched her eyes and she had miraculous seeing. And the warden was trying to stop the whole thing, but he couldn't. And right before he died, he fell in love with the warden's daughter. He wrote her a note, and it said, valentine at the end, love you dearly, blah, blah, blah. That's why we write letters. It's Valentine's Day, he dies, and the church made him a saint. Saint Valentine's Day.

[B]

That's the nicest.

[A]

No one's ever made a movie on that. Is that wild? That'd be a great movie.

[B]

Time to make a fabulous movie. You should pitch it.

[A]

Yeah. Calling Steven Spiller.

[B]

You should pitch it. Thank you.

[A]

My love for Martin Scorsese.

[B]

I love you. You're so inspiring.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

It's such an honor having you here.

[A]

Thank you very much for having. But I hope I like girls. Boys. Anybody doesn't have love My mama says all you need is one and done and you never know when it's gonna.

[B]

Show up and don't settle don't settle.

[A]

For the wrong one don't settle for the wrong one Better to be alone than have a project that never ends that drains the crap out of you yeah.

[B]

And by the way, you look fabulous. Oh, thank you. You looked beautiful when I saw you last time. Three years ago. But you look even more beautiful. You look fabulous. Very skinny. Don't lose more weight.

[A]

No, I'm not. I went on glp. I think that's how you say it. But you look fabulous because of chol. It lowers your cholesterol and you don't have to go on statins. And I feel fabulous.

[B]

You look fabulous.

[A]

I'm at the lowest dose, like maintenance.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

Yeah. But I could eat at pasta last night. What I like about is you get to eat whatever you want and you don't have to worry about it. And I'm gluten free, sugar free, dairy free. And I don't drink. I don't do drugs or drinks. I'm like clean. I'm an Air1 girl for anybody in California.

[B]

Did you tie your Air One's neck in the car?

[A]

What?

[B]

Did you get your Air1 gift bag in the car?

[A]

It was an Air1 gift bag with the Perry in it.

[B]

I left you like. I brought you this little it. I bought this little Air One organic biscottis because it's like one of my favorite tr.

[A]

I am an Air One girl since the date. Same Venice. And I just eat clean and I cook clean. Yeah.

[B]

Thank you so much. My love was such an honor having you guys self love. First go to millionaires club.com123.com millionaires club123.com I'm going to put the link here. I'm gonna put the links on this episode. If you're listening to the audio episode, make sure you go to Cat on the loose show on YouTube so you can see her gorgeous face and aspire to find love.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

It was such an honor. This is a really good one for everyone that loves to play poker and everyone that is planning a trip to Las Vegas, I invite you to come check out the most fun private game in the city held right inside Aria's VIP poker room. Even if you're not that into poker or new to the game, this is a great opportunity to network with businessmen, athletes and celebrities in a super exclusive environment. Mr. Beast and then Bilzerian have played in it. Golf pros have played there. It's like an elite, exclusive social club, but also a really fun environment to play. Texas no Limit hold'. Em. It's blowing up. Definitely one of the hottest places in Las Vegas right now. But your name needs to be on the list in order for you to gain access. So make sure you send me a message through Instagram at Real Cat on the Loose or text me or Send me a WhatsApp at 1-310-692-0578, and I will put your name on the list. They also offer incredibly special comps that are available only to my guests. They will reimburse Aria hotel fees for up to $350 in case you decide to stay at the Aria Hotel. They will give you private transportation from the area airport to your hotel and to the game. And they will give you access to airfare deals for business and first class. I mean, they will totally roll out the red carpet for you. And you're going to have so much fun. Table 1 is the place to play poker in Las Vegas. Why do you think it's called Table one? Because it's the number one game in town, baby.