Kat on the Loose: Episode Summary featuring Patty Stanger

Episode Title: PATTI STANGER
Release Date: February 12, 2025
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Patty Stanger, Founder and CEO of Millionaires Club International

Introduction to Patty Stanger

In this special Valentine’s episode of Kat on the Loose, host Kat Zammuto welcomes back the renowned matchmaker, Patty Stanger. Known for her no-nonsense approach on shows like Millionaire Matchmaker, Patty brings a wealth of experience to the conversation about modern dating, relationships, and finding the right partner.

Valentine’s Day and the Experience of Singles

00:04:10 - 00:05:11

As Valentine's Day approaches, many singles often feel the pang of loneliness. Patty addresses this sentiment, especially in the context of recent societal upheavals.

Patty shares her current outlook:
"I'm in an ignore phase. If you're going through hell, get your favorite foods, watch favorite movies, go with your girls. You can do a Galentine's Day."
(04:10)

She emphasizes that Valentine's Day is not a "report card" for one's love life:
"It's just, you know, it's a Hallmark holiday Really?"
(05:11)

The Current State of Dating Post-COVID

00:05:11 - 00:06:44

Post-pandemic, the dating landscape has shifted dramatically. Patty notes that external factors like economic instability and societal changes have contributed to a surge in single individuals.

She attributes the rise in singles to:

• Economic Disparity:
  "Women don't want to date down. So they found out that the men are economically behind the women."
  (05:54)

• Increased Female Empowerment:
  "There are more women in college... women, they're fed up. They're like, I'm not taking care of you."
  (05:54)

• Quality of Dating Apps:
  "The quality is really bad. I mean, it looks like they fell out of prison."
  (06:44)

Challenges with Dating Apps

00:07:00 - 00:16:22

Patty discusses the pitfalls of modern dating apps, highlighting the low quality of potential matches and the overwhelming number of users.

Key Insights:

• Global Perspective:
  Patty has extensively searched for quality matches not just in California but also in cities like Miami, Boston, Chicago, New York, France, and Italy, finding similar challenges everywhere.
  "I looked all over the country. It was pretty bad."
  (06:59)

• App Recommendations:
  While apps like Bumble and Hinge have their merits, Patty notes that higher-quality men often remain elusive:
  "Bumble is a great interface. The problem is we pick on Bumble the women, so it might attract some feminine men who want to get picked."
  (14:43)

• Creating Quality Connections:
  Patty suggests alternative methods to meet potential partners, such as switching cities to enter new dating pools:
  "It's a good idea to switch cities every now and then because then you're the new fish in the new pond."
  (12:26)

The Role and Value of Matchmakers

00:16:22 - 00:27:54

Patty elaborates on the effectiveness of professional matchmaking versus dating apps, emphasizing the personalized and high-quality service provided by matchmakers.

Highlights Include:

• Exclusivity and Quality:
  Patty prides herself on maintaining a selective client base, ensuring that only high-caliber individuals join her database.
  "We only get really wealthy, high end, super successful CEOs and entrepreneurs."
  (19:10)

• Matching Process:
  The matchmaking process involves thorough screening and personalized matchmaking to ensure compatibility:
  "We set up a zoom or local meeting to see if it's a fit on both sides."
  (20:46)

• Success Rates:
  Patty boasts a high success rate, often finding matches by the third introduction:
  "Usually it's by the third person you meet is the one you end up with."
  (27:18)

• Client Testimonials:
  Success stories highlight the effectiveness of her services, including clients finding lasting relationships swiftly after engaging with her team.

Attitudes Towards Sex and Relationship Dynamics

00:27:54 - 00:34:08

The conversation delves into the complexities of sexual relationships within dating, with Patty advocating for a strategy she terms "sex before monogamy."

Key Points:

• Scientific Approach to Love:
  Patty explains the biochemical processes of love, emphasizing the role of vasopressin and oxytocin in building deep emotional connections:
  "When a man falls in love through vasopressin, oxytocin kicks in."
  (30:52)

• Monogamy First:
  She advises establishing exclusivity before engaging in sexual relations to foster a stronger emotional bond:
  "If a man pressures you, he's not your guy because he won't protect you."
  (33:04)

• Princess Treatment:
  Patty encourages women to expect and demand respect and high standards in relationships, promoting the idea of being treated like a princess without explicitly stating it.
  "Princess treatment is... I demand princess treatment without even saying anything."
  (33:44)

Maintaining High Energy and Personal Standards

00:34:08 - 00:46:00

Patty emphasizes the importance of maintaining high personal standards and energy levels to attract quality partners.

Insights:

• Self-Esteem and Energy:
  Drawing from experts like Marisa Peer, Patty advocates for building self-esteem to protect one's energy from negative influences:
  "How to protect yourself, how to build the cone of self esteem in your brain so that you wouldn't."
  (45:50)

• Avoiding Low-Energy Partners:
  She warns against engaging with partners who drain one's energy, regardless of sexual orientation:
  "If their energy is not clean... you're gonna feel like crap after a while."
  (48:19)

• Personal Growth:
  Patty shares her own journey of overcoming trauma through spiritual response therapy, highlighting the importance of personal healing in successful relationships:
  "I did this thing called spiritual response therapy. It changed my life."
  (43:36)

Future Projects and Closing Thoughts

00:46:00 - End

As the conversation winds down, Patty shares her future endeavors and reinforces the value of professional matchmaking.

Takeaways:

• Expansion Plans:
  Patty is expanding her business with new offices in Soho and Miami, aiming to reach a broader clientele.
  "I'm writing a book on manifestation and I'm up for some stuff that I can't really talk about because it's too."
  (37:27)

• Affordability and Accessibility:
  While her services are premium, Patty encourages listeners to invest in their love lives for long-term happiness:
  "Finding the right partner is probably the most important decision you're ever gonna make in your life."
  (39:38)

• Final Advice:
  Patty concludes by urging listeners to prioritize self-love and be selective in their dating endeavors:
  "Don't settle for the wrong one. Better to be alone than have a project that never ends."
  (51:06)

Notable Quotes

• "Women don't want to date down. So they found out that the men are economically behind the women." — Patty Stanger (05:54)
• "We don't want a guy to pay our bills. However, I always say that the guy should provide." — Kat Zammuto (08:29)
• "The only love you think you deserve is the love you get." — Patty Stanger (49:30)

Conclusion

This episode of Kat on the Loose offers valuable insights into the complexities of modern dating, especially for high-achieving singles. Patty Stanger provides practical advice on navigating the dating scene, emphasizing the importance of quality over quantity, maintaining high personal standards, and the strategic use of professional matchmaking services to find lasting love.

For listeners seeking deeper connections and effective strategies in their love lives, Patty’s expertise serves as a guiding light in the often turbulent waters of relationships and dating.