← Kat on the Loose
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- [00:01]
Cat Zamuto
Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree. Zoe, this thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man. Santa. Santa, did you get my letter? He's talking to you britches. I'm not. Of course he did. Right, Santa, you know my elf, Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list. And elf, I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T Mobile, you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus? I'm Mrs. Claus much younger sister. And AT T Mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old phone or give it as a gift. And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.
- [00:37]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Nice.
- [00:38]
Cat Zamuto
My side of the tree is slipping.
- [00:39]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Kimber, the holidays are better.
- [00:41]
Cat Zamuto
AT T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us.
- [00:45]
Ty (Cat's sister)
With no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in.
- [00:48]
Cat Zamuto
US cellular stores with 24 month legal credits for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge credits and imbalance due if you pay off earlier accounts. Financing agreement, 256 gigs, $830 eligible board in a new line, $100 plus a month plan without our PayPal taxes and fees required. Check out 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com so I cannot even believe we are kicking off season five of Cat on the Loose this week. Oh, my goodness. Four years have gone by. What a journey has been. If you are new to Cat on the Loose, welcome, welcome, welcome. I welcome you with open arms. This is a no judgment zone. All our episodes are 100% organic, meaning they're never scripted and they're never edited. We never know what we're going to say. We never know exactly what's going to happen. It's an open conversation about relationships, about dating, yes, sometimes about sex, but it's about life. We are evolving. We are learning together. I am not an expert. Cat on the Loose started four years ago after I left a very complicated, very abusive marriage to an alcoholic. And I was starting my life over and I literally did not know how I was going to pick up the pieces and rebuild. And I was like, basically just venting. And I didn't know how to find my voice again. I didn't know what I was going to do. And I was really just talking, talking, talking. And I realized everybody out there had a story they wanted to share. Everybody out there has something going on at any given moment. And as I was growing an audience I realized I hit a nerve, and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna keep going and going and going, and what once was a tiny, tiny pet project is now such a beautiful, beautiful, worldwide community, and I am so proud of it. So if you're new here, welcome. We drop new episodes every Wednesdays on all platforms where you enjoy podcasts, and if you know, Cat on the Loose, welcome back. And we are going to start the season with such an important, important, important topic that affects so many people everywhere in the world. Mental health. And although I always like to say because it's so important, I am not an expert in any topic, this is a topic that I can speak about because it has happened to me time and time and time again.
- [03:20]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And.
- [03:21]
Cat Zamuto
And my guest today is someone that also has been highly affected by tragedy. My sister. Both of us, we have been hit by so much tragedy in our lives. It's incredible that we've managed to pick up the pieces, survive, rebuild, and recover. So we are not experts, but we are living proof that, yes, you can do it. And we are also living proof that it is so important to talk about it before it gets out of control. And for her, it is so difficult to talk about it because she's the exact opposite of me. She's a very private person. Her work is nowhere near the public eye such as mine is. But she was a very, very brave, very, very brave soul to say, you know what? I'm gonna come and I'm gonna talk about it. So if you're suffering from any kind of heartbreak, tragedy, any kind of pain right now, this episode is for you. And if you know anyone who is, have them listen to this episode. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and it is so, so important to speak up. It's so, so important to ask for help before it gets out of control, because so many people suffer in silence before they get help. And this is why many times it ends in tragedy, such as it happens to people who are very close to us. So here it is, a very, very special episode of Cat on the Loose to kick off season five. And remember, I love you guys so much. And we have 247 open lines of communication because this podcast is for all of us. So if you have anything you want to say, contribute. Give us suggestions for future episodes. Your opinion, please, please, please send it over via WhatsApp. 1305-332-0338 Here we go. Email. Contact A cat on the Loose on Instagram. Real Cat on the loose. Or mine? Cat Zamuto. Cat Zmuto. We are always here for you. My beautiful team of assistants and interns. Read through every single message. I try to read through every single message myself. But I promise you we respond to everything. So whatever it is that you want to say, whatever it is that you want to suggest, we will look through everything. Thank you so much for listening. We love you guys. Are you an entrepreneur, business owner, or major expert in your field? Guess what? Your knowledge is worth money and you can monetize it. Maybe you already even have a course out there in one of these video uploading platforms and you're super frustrated because you don't know how to grow your brand. Let me tell you about Lightspeed vt, the only high technology, multimillion dollar interactive training system in world. And this is why Fortune 500 companies, CEOs, entrepreneurs and some of the most successful people on the planet, such as Grant Cardone, Cardone University, Tony Robbins, Damon John are using it and making millions of dollars there. With light speed, you will be able to monetize your knowledge and your online courses millions of times faster and take your business to the next level by reaching a massive audience quickly, generating hundreds of thousands in monthly revenue and scale scaling super quickly. You want to see a demo? You want to get a free consultation? DM me, I'll hook you up. Or send a message. Text WhatsApp to 310-692-0578 and start the year monetizing your content big time on LightSpeed VT. One question that I get asked a lot is how do I monetize Cat on the Loose? And I know this can be a very, very difficult step, especially for newcomers into the PODC investing world. But I have a great tip for you guys. How about you get started with Spotify for Creators, a free community by Spotify. And we love the word free, right? Spotify for Creators is the home of audio and video podcasting on Spotify with powerful tools to help you grow, monetize and manage your show. Show. All you have to do is download the app right on your phone or computer. No need to buy expensive equipment. It's super, super user friendly and you will give it a go, give it a try. It's 2025. You can for sure start your own podcast and make it very, very successful. With Spotify for Creators. I highly recommend that it's free, fun, it's easy and yes, no catches. Absolutely free. So what are you waiting for? Give it a try today Spotify for creators. Yes. No kidding. This is how I started Cat on the Loose four years ago, and now it's one of the top relationships podcasts in the world. So what are you waiting for? Oh, my God. First Cat on the lose of the season. Season five. And I could not start with the more special guests. And I know you're so private. I can't even believe you're here. My little sister, I know this is, like a really big push for you to do this, right. You're really out of your comfort zone. Very much so. I, I have to say I'm very, very grateful.
- [09:40]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Well, thank you.
- [09:41]
Cat Zamuto
This means the world to me. This is very, very special.
- [09:45]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Of course, of course.
- [09:46]
Cat Zamuto
And I was saying before we got started that in my introduction that I wanted to do a really special episode because I know the beginning of the year, a lot of people are talking about, you know, goals and dreams and starting over and aspirations, and they feel stuck. They don't know how to move on with life. They don't know how to move forward. And I wanted to start by our conversation when you came visit me on Thanksgiving. For those who don't know, you're in Florida. Right. And I'm in California. So for Thanksgiving, you came over with your adorable, adorable, very precautious, crazy intelligent little son, my nephew, who is now 13. Right. And we had such an amazing time. And I remember we were standing in the kitchen, and I said to you, we come from a really difficult background. We don't come from this great family. I think we come from a very discombobulated family. You. You agree with me, right? Yes. And we are seven years apart. And I know we have very different experiences because I left, I didn't live at home for a really long time, and you were still living at home. So I know you, You. You spend much more time with. With our mom than I did. We have different experiences, but for a long period of time, we were both around them. But anyway, the bottom line is we don't come from, like, this lovey dovey, sweet, amazing, perfect, supportive family. And now that both our parents are gone, it's really just the two of us. And, and, and. And Matteo, and we are both not married. We're gonna get there, we're gonna explain what happened. But going back to the kitchen, I remember looking here and saying, you know, I don't know. I don't know if I call it spell, but I use the word spell jokingly. I said, I think it's up to us to break the spell. Of everything bad that happened to our families and create a better future for ourselves and for your kid.
- [11:53]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Right? Yes, 100.
- [11:55]
Cat Zamuto
And I agree. Yeah. And I think that's. That's the hardest part for a lot of people. Right. How do you do that? How do you break away from tragedy? And this is what I want to touch on, because I know it's very difficult because I know you're very private. You don't even do social media. I do a lot of social media because that's how I promote my work. And a lot of people look at our social media and they see the success and the life we build and everything, and they think everything is easy. Right? They see.
- [12:26]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah. Right. Yeah.
- [12:27]
Cat Zamuto
They don't see our battles. But you and I, we've. We. I don't know why, but we've been through a hell of a lot of tragedy in our lives.
- [12:36]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yes, very much.
- [12:38]
Cat Zamuto
It's time. Do you want to talk about it? Do you want to start?
- [12:41]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Of course not. Of course. I can be open and Whatever you.
- [12:46]
Cat Zamuto
Want to talk about. Yeah, I think it's important because. Just the background to get where I want to get. So, like I said, I think we grew up in a very complicated household. For me, I think your experience. And I remember you said that you think for you it was more our mom. For me, I. I think my dad resented me because, of course, he didn't want to marry my mom once you got pregnant, but whatever. I think they were always. They were always very heavy drinkers, and when I was a kid, I didn't even notice that. And I think that's probably one of the reasons why I ended up marrying an alcoholic, because it took me forever and ever and ever to even realize that alcohol abuse was a problem. I don't even know if you noticed that. Like, our parents were always drinking, always abusing alcohol.
- [13:41]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah, I remember our mother more than our father, but, you know. But yeah, they both, you know.
- [13:51]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [13:51]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Were heavy drinkers. Yeah, I do remember that.
- [13:55]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. And I never even said that, but, yeah, it's true. Our mom was always a heavy drinker, and she ended up being. She was like, I think, what people call closet alcoholic. Like, she would drink and hide the alcohol, and she always hoped that people didn't notice that she was drinking, and it kept getting worse and worse and worse as life went by, and, yeah, obviously ended up being one of the causes of what killed her.
- [14:23]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Right.
- [14:24]
Cat Zamuto
But I think when I ended up marrying an alcoholic and that ended up, like, abusing me, and they were always my My parents were around. That's one of the reasons that nobody said anything. Because for them it was like normal behavior. Drinking heavily, you know?
- [14:39]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah, I, I never know. I mean, growing up, I never, I didn't think it was a thing. Yeah, I didn't think it was. Yeah, I never saw that as a problem. So, you know, and I. And I don't know, I don't know if looking back, if it's part, a little bit part of. I wouldn't, I, I wouldn't say the Brazilian culture, but just maybe a little bit of the, the environment, you know, the fam. I don't know what it was, but I, I don't remember ever thinking, oh, my parents are heavy drinkers. You know, that's just maybe something you think about it much, much later in life.
- [15:17]
Cat Zamuto
That's such a good point. I know. And like I said, Brazilian culture. Yeah, I know Brazilians drink a lot. But then like I said, because I've been here most of my life. And then you ended up being here most of your life. Yeah, you moved, you moved here when you were like a teenager.
- [15:33]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [15:33]
Cat Zamuto
Like I said, when I met Anthony, I was in my 20s and he was a heavy drinker when I met him. He wasn't a full blown alcoholic yet, but I think because of the background of our parents, when I saw him drinking, drinking, drinking and saying, oh, that's how I relax after work. That's how I relax after work.
- [15:52]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [15:52]
Cat Zamuto
I was so conditioned to see my parents do it all the time. I didn't see it as a problem. I, I thought, oh, that's what people do. So I'm not even sure if it's a cultural thing, to be honest, because I'm not.
- [16:05]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah, no, I, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, like, growing up. Yeah, it was just all around. Yeah, it was just kind of all around us. This is what, that's what I'm trying to say. You know what I mean? So looking back, I'm like, it was just. I just felt like it was all around us, our family, you know, the gatherings, and, and, and I never separated. Oh, this is okay. Because this is again our family gathering. Oh, they're drinking during the week. You know what I mean? Like, it was just all kind of all blended together. I also think there's a lot of more awareness nowadays as far as alcohol goes. And so I just feel like it's something that I've come to realize that much, much later in life.
- [16:53]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. I wonder if it's our maturity so this is, this is the question, right? Because I get this question all the time. I think we, obviously, we turn out to be incredibly normal, nice, kind humans, considering the environment we grew up in. Because a lot of people. And this, I guess this is the point that I wanted to touch in because it's the beginning of the year and I know a lot of people get discouraged, right? Oh, how? Because a lot of people blame their backgrounds. I come from a shitty family. I come from shitty parents. I don't have any support. But I think you and I are living proof that regardless of what life throws at you, if you decide you're going to build a good life for yourself, you can make a decision and create your own path. I'm not really sure how we did it, because life threw all this hell and high water at us. Not just coming from this bad parenting, because both our parents, our father, maybe he was not a full blown alcoholic, but he was the biggest narcissist that I ever met in my life. He was really good at making money, but, like, if he made a million dollars, he would spend a million and one. He never really thought about leaving a legacy behind. He never really thought about, oh, let me worry about the future of these girls. Let me worry about leaving them something. Let me worry about doing like a savings account, you know, like normal things that. That parents worry about leaving for their kids. He would literally spend everything on himself and women and parties and so it was some other kind of dysfunction coming from him.
- [18:28]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Right.
- [18:29]
Cat Zamuto
And I don't know how you and I at some point decided that, you know, despite all of that, we were going to live normal lives and be honest, hardworking people and just be different from them.
- [18:46]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Right. I. Yeah. I don't know where. I don't know what the turning point was, but I do. You know, there have been things in my life that, you know, also being, for me, being a mom.
- [19:02]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [19:02]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, I remember when I had Matteo, my, you know, my son. I remember thinking that I never wanted to be the mother. I wanted to be a completely different mother than our mother was.
- [19:18]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. And you want to.
- [19:20]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I want to. I wanted to be a very, very different mother. And you say, you know, this generational. I don't like to use the word curse, but, you know, this, this. That passed from generation and I, I was like, it ends with me.
- [19:36]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah, it ends with me. Yeah. No, that, you know, we use the word curse. But you're right. I don't know what word I used when you were here Thanksgiving, but I said Similar. When you were here, I was like, we have to break the spell. Like, you know, we have a generation.
- [19:50]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yes.
- [19:50]
Cat Zamuto
I guess.
- [19:51]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I don't know. Yeah. There's so many words, but, yeah. I remember when I had Matteo, I was. I said, it ends with me, you know, I'm going to be. You know, you met him. You see how his discipline.
- [20:04]
Cat Zamuto
He's an angel. He's incredible. He's incredible.
- [20:07]
Ty (Cat's sister)
He's an incredible child.
- [20:09]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [20:09]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And every single day I tell him how I love him.
- [20:12]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [20:13]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, I believe in discipline with kindness and love. You know, I've done that with him since he was a child. Yeah. And with me, at least. My experience growing up was on a completely different.
- [20:28]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [20:29]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Polar opposite to that, you know, so. Yeah. So I think the first thing for me was becoming a mom. That I was like, okay, this ends right here.
- [20:40]
Cat Zamuto
You know, we didn't have that. And remember, that's another thing that you mentioned to me when you were here, which I completely agree with you. It's interesting that our parents never said to us, I love you. Never. My father, I don't ever, ever. Until he died, I don't ever remember him saying to me, I love you. Not once in my life. My mom, towards the very end of her life, when she got closer to me, and I think she started apologizing and saying things I think she said maybe a few times. But I agree with you, it wasn't common for them to say I love you. And I agree with.
- [21:23]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I never heard.
- [21:24]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. Like you said, you say it to your son all the time. And I think it's one of the things that is so important to say I love you to someone you love all the time. All the time. To make them feel loved. And you never know when it's going to be the last time that you see them.
- [21:43]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Right, Right.
- [21:46]
Cat Zamuto
I think that's like such a simple gesture.
- [21:50]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yes.
- [21:51]
Cat Zamuto
That costs nothing. Costs nothing. Right. To let people know that you love them, that you care about them.
- [21:59]
Ty (Cat's sister)
100. Yes. And. And I. We both have had a tremendous amount of loss in our lives. So much. You know, that. That's definitely something that's always with me, you know, to make the people important in your life feel important, know that they matter, know that they're loved. You know, it's just something. I always carry that with me because, you know, we. I. I don't know if your audience know, but, you know, that we lost both our parents and, you know, it's just.
- [22:35]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [22:35]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I. I lost my childhood friend.
- [22:37]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. So in 2007. Let's. Yeah. So let's explain. Yeah. So this is. Yeah, we did have an absurd amount of tragedy in 2007. Your best. Best. Best friend in the world. You guys grew up together ever since you were babies. She had a very sudden death. She was in her twenties, which is crazy. And she died very suddenly. That was very tragic because, of course, she was a very young girl, very full of life. And you are younger. You are. How old were you girls? 20.
- [23:11]
Ty (Cat's sister)
29, I think it was. Yeah. 29.
- [23:13]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [23:14]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [23:15]
Cat Zamuto
So that was crazy, tragic. Yeah.
- [23:18]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [23:18]
Cat Zamuto
Then, yes, we did lose our father a few years later, right? Yeah, We. We lost. Yeah, we lost our father a few years later.
- [23:28]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [23:29]
Cat Zamuto
Then, yeah, we. We did lose our mom. I mean, I lost. I lost Anthony. Literally one year after losing our mom. I was still, like, you know, mourning and figuring it out, and I lost. And so think it's a lot for anybody to process because loss is something very, very, very, very heavy. Very, very.
- [23:50]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Changes you. Yeah.
- [23:52]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. Like you said, it changes because it's like, oh, my God, I'm. First of all, it's like, we are really, literally, really alone now. We have to be adults here. We don't have that support system anymore. Right. And then you realize that you're not. You're not going to see that person ever again. So if you didn't say anything, if you left anything behind unsaid, and I agree with you, it changed me in the way. For me, I remember when. When our mom died and when Anthony died a year later. This is what changed me first. I live my life like, I'm very immediate in terms of what I want to do. Like, if I want to do something, I just really go for it, you know? I know you. I know you're not. We're left because you're more like a planner. It takes you longer. I just pull. Yeah.
- [24:39]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [24:39]
Cat Zamuto
It takes you forever. I'm like, I just go for it. I wanna. Even if I don't know if all of my dreams are gonna come true or not, I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna give this a go. I want to do everything. I want to conquer the world every day.
- [24:52]
Ty (Cat's sister)
That's. That's great. That's how it should be.
- [24:55]
Cat Zamuto
Because I'm like, okay, I don't know how much time I have, but I want to do everything. That. And there's another. Obviously, my. My story is different than your story because the 14 years that I was married to Anthony, and that's the. That's another Thing too, that people don't know about me. They think, oh, she was married to a multi millionaire, she didn't want to work. But the truth is, he didn't let me work. He didn't let me do many of the things that I wanted to do. So now I'm like, I just want to go for it. It.
- [25:21]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [25:21]
Cat Zamuto
But, yeah, when. When people start dying on you, you're like, okay, life. Life ends, so we might as well give everything a go, you know?
- [25:32]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah. Yes, I know. Yeah.
- [25:34]
Cat Zamuto
I'm.
- [25:34]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I'm the. You know, as you know, I'm the total opposite of that.
- [25:38]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [25:38]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I'm too conscious, too afraid to. Oh, my God, I'm an overthinker. I have anxiety. I'm like, I'm the total opposite. So. But, you know, we tried our best to navigate and, you know, chase our dreams through, but it's great.
- [25:54]
Cat Zamuto
I think it's baby steps because. To touch on the last tragedy. And. And I think it's so important to talk about mental health. And I know this is very difficult for you, and this is why I have to say I'm so proud of you for being here. And. And because we have such a massive audience out there, and I know this is very hard. And I get.
- [26:16]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I.
- [26:16]
Cat Zamuto
And I do get emotional. Just a little over a year ago, you had. And. And I have to say, when I lost. And I. I lost our mom. And by crazy coincidence of the universe, I never, ever, ever used to go to Brazil. Funny, right? Because I just don't like going there because of all the violence and everything. I happened to be in Brazil when she died, so I happened to see our mom, dad in front of me, so it just magnified my experience. And then one year later, I lost Anthony. And I thought, oh, my God, I cannot imagine going through. I cannot imagine anybody going through a bigger trauma than what I went through. But a little over a year. Just a little over a year ago, Right. You went through something a million times more difficult than that, if that's even possible, which is your husband, the father of your son, took his own life, committed suicide.
- [27:18]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [27:19]
Cat Zamuto
And you found him.
- [27:21]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I did.
- [27:24]
Cat Zamuto
And I cannot imagine. I cannot imagine anybody going through that.
- [27:30]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, it's. It's like I said, it changes you to your core.
- [27:39]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [27:40]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know.
- [27:42]
Cat Zamuto
And.
- [27:45]
Ty (Cat's sister)
There'S just so much, so many levels to what happened. You know, it's just not. You know, he was the father of my child, so I'm dealing with that.
- [28:00]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [28:01]
Ty (Cat's sister)
It's dealing with the fact that he didn't Have a heart attack. He didn't have a. It wasn't a car accident. It was just something that. It's just kind of hard. It takes. It takes a really long time to rep. You know, to rep my. I. I just remember trying to understand how. Why, you know, while dealing with what I saw, you know, and so it was just. It was just really hard. I had to really. You know, I went through a lot of anger. I was very angry.
- [28:45]
Cat Zamuto
Oh, my God. Of course. How can you not? Right. How can you not be? How can you not. It's impossible not to.
- [28:52]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah. So I was really, really angry at him for. For doing that. I mean, that, too.
- [29:00]
Cat Zamuto
Because the truth is, you know, he took his life. He left you and. And his son, a little boy, behind.
- [29:09]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [29:09]
Cat Zamuto
Alone.
- [29:10]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Right.
- [29:11]
Cat Zamuto
No. No. No note, no message.
- [29:14]
Ty (Cat's sister)
No.
- [29:14]
Cat Zamuto
Just imagination. He just left you guys behind. So, of course, the. The people that are left behind are, you know, the ones suffering.
- [29:23]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [29:24]
Cat Zamuto
Right.
- [29:24]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah. You know, and it's just very hard to understand. And you just left with no answers.
- [29:32]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [29:33]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, and you have to be okay with not having those answers.
- [29:39]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [29:40]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, and. And it took me a really long time, you know, it took me a really, really long time to understand why. But how. Well, how can somebody do this? And why would somebody do this to a child? And. And. And you're a father. You can't do this. And. And it was just. Yeah, but. But then, you know, I did some therapy. I actually did a lot of research on suicide. And. And I. It took me a while, but I.
- [30:15]
Cat Zamuto
Forgave him, you know, that's the best thing.
- [30:18]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I finally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you have. I really came to a place of forgiveness, of understanding.
- [30:26]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [30:26]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, that he was in. He was sick. He was just in very, very, very, very deep pain. But I had to get out of the anger to see something, to try to. Just to understand, you know?
- [30:46]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [30:46]
Ty (Cat's sister)
For sure.
- [30:48]
Cat Zamuto
So it's.
- [30:48]
Ty (Cat's sister)
It's just. It was really hard. And of course, there is a ton of regret that I had also that some other side that you have to deal, you know? Yeah. There's a ton of regret. And. And I think that's a part of grief, you know, I feel like there's. With all our losses, I have regrets with. With a lot of them there. I have regrets with our mother. You know, I was like, I wish I had told her, I think you.
- [31:23]
Cat Zamuto
Need to, you know, and it's a part of healing, too.
- [31:27]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [31:27]
Cat Zamuto
That takes time. You kind of have to let it go because this is something. I never talked about it on the podcast or to anybody. And the reason why I'm taught we are talking about is because it. Mental health is. It's such an important topic. And it goes to show, you know, people kill themselves every single day because there is something really bad going on. And many times relatives don't notice. Our mom killed herself. We.
- [31:55]
Ty (Cat's sister)
We.
- [31:55]
Cat Zamuto
I've never talked. We never talked about it. People ask me, how did your mother die? And I'm like, oh, you know, I don't want to talk about it. But the truth of the matter is she didn't want to live anymore. Right. She was so stressed for. Stressed out about money and finances and she kept worrying about the future and the future. And the future. What's going to happen to me? What's going to happen to me? What's going to happen to me? It consumed her. That's all she thought about. Day and night, night and day, day and night, night and day, that she wanted to die. She literally wanted to die. She committed suicide. She knew she needed a certain specific medication. She knew she couldn't drink. She knew if she stopped taking that medication, she was gonna die. So she did the two things she couldn't do. She stopped taking the medication and she drank and. Yeah. And killed.
- [32:45]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [32:47]
Cat Zamuto
And it's heartbreaking. Same thing. But I. I think. I don't know how I did it, but like you said, I come to terms that there is nothing we can do to save someone like that when they make that decision.
- [33:02]
Ty (Cat's sister)
No.
- [33:02]
Cat Zamuto
You know, no.
- [33:05]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And after the fact. Yes. Because I kept thinking, you know, everybody. That was really hard too, because I think it's important people are aware of this. You know, something like that happens. Every single person came to me and said, you didn't know.
- [33:27]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [33:28]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You didn't know he was depressed.
- [33:29]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [33:29]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And I'm like, oh, yes, I did. And I just. You know what I mean? I'm like, no, I didn't know. I didn't know, you know, so it's just. It's really hard. Of course I wish I had. Maybe I knew he was stressed. I knew he had high anxiety, high stress, but I didn't know, you know, that this was going on, that he was depressed.
- [33:54]
Cat Zamuto
No. The fact you never know the person is going to get to that point. Right.
- [33:59]
Ty (Cat's sister)
No. Right. And I just. So, of course I have regrets thinking maybe I should have known, maybe I should have paid attention. I should have told him, let's talk. Let me be there for you. Let me do this, you know, But I Didn't see it. I didn't see it. I didn't. You know, it's something that I. Of course, if I ever come across something like that again, God forbid I would be more aware. But I also realized that there's only so much we can do.
- [34:31]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [34:32]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know.
- [34:32]
Cat Zamuto
No, you can never blame yourself because like I said, it's like with our mom. I used to talk to our mom twice a day, every single day. Did I think she was killing herself while she was talking to me?
- [34:45]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Right.
- [34:45]
Cat Zamuto
Like, she would hang up the phone and go in her closet and get the bottle of booze and drink, and like, she would literally get in her car and say, I'm on my way to the doctor to take this medication. She literally needed this medication. Tools to stay alive. But she was tossing the medication in the trash and not going to the doctor. How can anybody know these things? You know, you can't blame yourself, I think. No.
- [35:09]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [35:09]
Cat Zamuto
Like you said, when. When this happens to someone, like you said, don't ask the person if you want to help, don't ask the person how. How did. You didn't. You know? Because you're just passing on blame.
- [35:21]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You didn't see it. Yes.
- [35:22]
Cat Zamuto
It doesn't help, but it came to.
- [35:24]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Me and you didn't see it. You didn't see it. You didn't know.
- [35:27]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [35:28]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Like, did you see. You didn't see any signs? I'm like, come on.
- [35:31]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah, please.
- [35:32]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah, come on. And even if I did, you know, because I also. I remember talking to a therapist, and I was like. She told me, she said, maybe you.
- [35:44]
Cat Zamuto
You.
- [35:45]
Ty (Cat's sister)
If you had known. Sometimes you can postpone it, but if the person is very determined, you can only postpone it. You're not going to avoid it.
- [35:55]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [35:55]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know what I mean? You're not going to prevent or from happening. That has to come from them.
- [35:59]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [36:00]
Ty (Cat's sister)
It has to come from them.
- [36:01]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [36:02]
Ty (Cat's sister)
So, I mean, 1 million percent I'm not a therapist or anything, but. Yeah, it took. It took me a long time to not blame myself and forgive him and get past the anger and just, you.
- [36:19]
Cat Zamuto
Know.
- [36:21]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And see him in a good light again. Because he was a wonderful man.
- [36:26]
Cat Zamuto
Yes.
- [36:28]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, he was a. He was a great dad. He was a wonderful man. He really was. He's just. But for a while, I was very angry and.
- [36:39]
Cat Zamuto
Oh, my God.
- [36:39]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I'm sure, you know, he left us in a really bad situation, and I was really angry and. But I. Yeah.
- [36:50]
Cat Zamuto
Well, I have to tell you that this is my take on it, because it. The Tragedy happened to us, like I said, in different ways. Because our mom killed herself, Anthony. In many ways, he wanted to die. He wanted to die. He wanted to die so badly, he got his wishes and he died in the worst possible way. That's a whole other story for another episode. But the fact of the matter is, once he died, same thing, I found myself with absolutely nothing. Nothing. My life was devastated. And when that happens, we have two choices. And this is what we're talking about. Breaking the curse or whatever word you want to use. You have two choices. You can stay down there on the ground like, okay, I'm fucked, I'm fucked, that's it. Or you can say, you know, I'm going to pick up the pieces and rebuild my life and make life wonderful again. And in your case, you have the most wonderful reason in the world, which is the most incredible, amazing, adorable 13.
- [37:48]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Year old little boy, right?
- [37:50]
Cat Zamuto
So I think we have to show it to him that life can be really, really, really great and, and break the, this horrible spell, curse, whatever you want to say of whatever came. Trauma. Yeah, trauma. Whatever came behind us. And I think anybody out there listening if you are like us, because I think most people are like us. Most people do not come from wonderful, wonderful families, unfortunately, like most people do come from, from broken families. Don't let that destroy you. You know, find ways to keep moving on. You know, find ways to, to rebuild. Let's take a really quick break and talk about very easy, quick fix for a problem that a lot of us have. Super tired eyes. If you're crazy busy like me, some days there's no amount of makeup in the world that can hide your tired eyes. And this is why I partnered with Marie Marine Collagen eye gels and collagen facial masks. Dermatologist recommended with hyaluronic acid and pearl extract. A professional treatment for puffy eyes. Dark circles and eye bags. Mare M A R E e Eye gels are a fast and delicate fix for tired eyes. I love them. They're suitable for all skin types and also exclusive exfoliate tired skin. This is why I like them because some days, especially after long, long, long hectic work schedules, right, I wake up and my eyes are so puffy. I look at myself in the mirror like, oh my God, what I'm gonna do. You put them on for a few minutes and they depuff your skin so fast. You can get yours right now on Amazon or right on their website, iMarie.com I am as in Mary A R E E.com Professional treatment for dark circles, bags under your eyes. Super fast. Dermatologist tested for all skin types. I absolutely love them. I think that's the best, best, best way to, to get over trauma and get over something horrible like all these things that, that happen to us. I don't know if you agree with me.
- [40:15]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yes, of course I. And, and I got a lot of eye rolls when, because when that, when that happened, I.
- [40:26]
Cat Zamuto
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- [41:48]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I remember the next day waking up or getting out of bed. I don't think I slept for like six months, but I just remember the next day I got out of bed and I said, I just, you know, you're. You're living in this. I was like, wow, my life is over. My life is over. You know? And then I was like, wait a minute, what am I saying? What am I saying? I have, I have a choice right now. I have a choice. I can choose to be happy and heal, be happy, be the best mother I can be.
- [42:32]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [42:33]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Or I can sink, be depressed and not be, not be able to be there for my child that needs me.
- [42:41]
Cat Zamuto
To the max more than ever. Yes. You have to rise to the challenge.
- [42:46]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah. So right there and then the next day. And I know it takes a lot. I understand that, but. And I feel like everything that I went through my entire life prepared me for that very, very moment.
- [42:57]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [42:58]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, to, to, to just. I was like, wow. Okay, right here, right, right here is the moment that I, I, I have to make this choice, you know?
- [43:11]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [43:12]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I can eat some positive, some positive things. I can see some happiness. I can be happy. I can try to find something peaceful, or I can just be completely depressed.
- [43:30]
Cat Zamuto
I know. And, and you're doing amazing. I have to say, when all the things that happened to me happened to me, obviously, you know, many days, I thought, okay, that's it. That's the end of me. I did end up in the hospital a few times. A few times I thought, okay, I'm die. That's it. Right. And I remember I had so many toxic people around me. The famous champagne friends. Right. You know, the. That are around you when you have champagne, and then when you need help, they.
- [43:59]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Oh, yeah.
- [44:00]
Cat Zamuto
They run around like friends. Exactly.
- [44:03]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [44:03]
Cat Zamuto
I remember to deal with the tragedy. Exact body.
- [44:07]
Ty (Cat's sister)
No one deal with the bad times.
- [44:08]
Cat Zamuto
No, of course not. I remember one of my best friends in the world. I used to. I don't know if you remember, but my apartment in Miami was at the 56th floor of the Four Seasons when Anthony died. And this friend, one of my best friends, she came and she was like, oh, my God, Catherine, I cannot believe you're not jumping off of the balcony. Because I had lost everything, all my assets on my bank accounts. I was completely broke. I didn't have anything, and Anthony was dead. And then I never saw that person again. And that day, I remember thinking, you know what? I don't feel like jumping off of this balcony. I think I'm gonna start rebuilding my life.
- [44:48]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [44:49]
Cat Zamuto
But I know my personality. I'm more resilient. I have just have a. To use the word that my mom used me in Portuguese. I don't even know what word would be in English. I'm very distant. I'm fearless. I'm not afraid of anything. And I know you're not. I know you're not. I know you're more, like, guarded. So I know when all these things happen to me, I was like, it. I'm just gonna go for it and try everything again, and I'm gonna die trying, and that's my style. But I don't have a kid, right. I'm like, it's just me. It's easier. Because if I fail in everything, like, you know, even if I end up homeless on the beach, like, the people that stole everything from me, I'm not kidding. They literally called me and said, I'm not gonna name names because they threatened to sue me. But they literally call me and said, you're gonna do everything we tell you to do. Are you going to end up homeless on the beach? And I remember saying, even if I do end up homeless on the beach, it's just me. Whatever. I'm gonna figure it out. I know with you, the stakes are so much higher because you have a freaking kid. When you have a kid, you're like, I want to give my kid the best life. So I remember last year when I got the call when our stepdad called me and said that this happened to you. He was like, you know, this tragedy happened to Ty. Like, I don't want to say your husband's name. Said like, he, he shot himself in the head. I was at the gas station and I backed up my car. I, I was like, it's the first time in my life I had a car accident. I backed up my car into a tree.
- [46:24]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I was like.
- [46:25]
Cat Zamuto
And I stopped there and I immediately thought, oh, my God. You know, I was so worried about you because I honestly was not sure, sure how you are going to react, because it's one, I, I, I cannot imagine anybody going through this tragedy. And I have to say, you really, really rose up to the challenge and.
- [46:50]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [46:51]
Cat Zamuto
And, and to life. And it's, and it's impossible to describe in words. It's absolutely impossible to describe. Scribe.
- [46:59]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [47:00]
Cat Zamuto
To anybody. Yeah.
- [47:04]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I think I, I. And like, I said I to me, it was, you know, that feeling of I, I. And, you know, I'm not religious. We, we were raised. Even though we went to Catholic school our entire lives, we're not religious or anything like that. But something just came over me and said, have faith. Just have faith.
- [47:30]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [47:31]
Ty (Cat's sister)
The uni, the universe is going to provide somehow. It's gonna, it's gonna be fine. Because that's what I thought. I was like, I, I, you know, I had no income. I was going to school.
- [47:41]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [47:41]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I, you know, he, we didn't have savings. We didn't, you know, and I was like, you know, we were left with nothing. So I was like, okay, I'm going through this trauma. I have this image in my head that I can't sleep, I can't eat. I have a child that is heartbroken. Yeah, heartbroken. And, you know, I was just, I just thought to myself, it's like, you know, if I just, if I just have Faith. Just have faith. And. And it's. It's. Things are going to start coming to you. You know, it took a long time, and it was just extremely painful, but that's just what I. I believed in, you know, Just keep having faith one day at a time.
- [48:33]
Cat Zamuto
Yes, you just.
- [48:35]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Strong.
- [48:36]
Cat Zamuto
Just.
- [48:36]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You got to be strong. And these moments are the moments that just make you stronger, you know? And every day is a choice. And yes, every time I say that to someone when they're having a bad day or they're depressed, oh, my God. I'm like, you have a choice. You have a choice. You can either think or you can lift yourself up. You can either be depressed or you can be happy. And people get mad at me when I say that, but I'm like, just give it a try.
- [49:04]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. I think the only silver lining of going through all these things that you and I have been through is like you said, we get so, so resilient and we get so much stronger. We find out what we are made of. Like you said, the small, the tiny problems of everyday life don't rattle us.
- [49:26]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [49:26]
Cat Zamuto
Like. Like you said, if you. I see people making drama about tiny, tiny things and I laugh about it. And now, like, I. I'm four years. I'm six years away from. From Anthony's death and everything, and I'm still rebuilding. Of course, I'm far from being where I want to be, but I'm in a very happy place. I live in the place that I love. I do what I love.
- [49:50]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [49:50]
Cat Zamuto
I live in peace. I live in peace. And you are slowly, every day, I think you get stronger and stronger and stronger and you're rebuilding your life. But it's like you said, you know, people have a choice. Every single day. When you wake up, you need to ask yourself and look in the mirror. You know, you're not going to live forever. Whatever tragedies that, that. That you're going through, maybe it's something horrible like us. Maybe it is. You're dealing with death like, like we've been dealing with. Maybe it's something else. Yeah. You need to make a decision. Are you gonna let that destroy your life? Or are you gonna overcome that and move on and find. Find that you have to find happiness somehow. Right.
- [50:31]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Right. I. And I just think also, you know, there's just so much out there nowadays, so many resources and so many. And I'm not saying people that are depressed, it's like that. And you're like, just be happy. And people are. Now I understand. I understand I know, look what happened with Leo. You know his name, but, you know, look what happened with him. And I understand depression. I think I saw with my own eyes what depression can do. I understand that. But there's a million resources out there. There's just so much. You know, there's if spirituality, there's doctors, there's medicine, there's community. There is just so much out there. And, you know, and people have. And I said, I. I had a friend that one day a couple weeks ago, telling me something about, you know, a breakup or something like that, and she was crying on the phone, and. And then she said to me, she's like, oh, why am I even saying this to you? Because you've been through so much. You don't want to hear. This is so. This is probably so stupid to you. And I'm like, no, I understand. You know what I mean? Like, your monster is not any smaller than my monster. You know what I mean? People have that little monster they have to deal with, you know? And I get it. It's like, it doesn't mean. Just because I've been through something so incredibly traumatic, it doesn't mean that I don't understand people's issues. You know, I just think, you know, there's just a lot.
- [52:15]
Cat Zamuto
I think we. You have to put it in perspective. That's what I think for us. Like, I agree, I've been through many breakups after Anthony died, but it puts my pain in perspective. Like, if I. If I try to. To have a new relationship with someone and it doesn't work out, like, okay, it's too bad, you know?
- [52:36]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [52:37]
Cat Zamuto
But it's a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny issue. Obviously, it's not the end of the world. I think you have to put life in perspective, and you have to choose your battles. But like you were saying before, I want to touch on this because it's the most important thing. And I keep saying that to you as well because I know your level of stress is so high. People need to remember how important mental health is.
- [53:04]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [53:04]
Cat Zamuto
Have to worry about your mental health so it doesn't get out of control. Unfortunately, in our mom's case, it got way out of control. Unfortunately, in Anthony's case, the man that I was married to, it didn't matter how many millions of dollars he had in the bank. It got out of control. He decided to die. Unfortunately, in your son's father, in your husband, that he. He got out of control. He. He killed himself so many people every single day today. I don't even Know if. You know in the news, the husband of a very famous actress here in LA, 47 years old, just committed suicide.
- [53:42]
Ty (Cat's sister)
No.
- [53:43]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. The husband of our plaza. So it happens every day. Every day, any given day. People do this.
- [53:50]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [53:50]
Cat Zamuto
So I think you need. People need to remember, like, if you feel your stress level going up, I don't care how much. I know you have bills to pay. We all do. I know life is very expensive. I know this. But you have to stop. And you gotta, like, like you said, bringing back the monster and bring it back under control. And like, and same. You were saying there are a million resources. What are the results? Go for a walk, exercise, breathe, drink tea, talk to a friend. If you have a relative, like, I don't know, there's a million. But, but try to.
- [54:22]
Ty (Cat's sister)
There's a lot to do. Yes.
- [54:24]
Cat Zamuto
Take a nap, take a day off. Because you have to keep controlling your mental health because this is the most important thing in the world. And it's. Unfortunately, it's not talked about enough. And I think that's the main reason why. Why telling our story and putting this episode out there was so important to me, because I know so many people out there are suffering alone and suffering in silence, and I want them to know that they're not alone. You know, no.
- [54:55]
Ty (Cat's sister)
100% they're not. And, you know, if people that are hurting or suffering enough, they would just reach out to someone and say, hey, you know, I do think about that a lot. Like, I really wish he would have come to me and said, I'm hurting. I'm hurt. Like, this is not a joke. I'm thinking about this, this and that. I'm thinking about taking my own life. I mean, I. I think, you know, of course, it's kind of hard to, you know, to know exactly what I would have said or how I would have handled it, but, but, but try, you know, I think I would have said, okay, we're gonna get you some help. We're gonna, we're gonna work this out. Because this is important. You got a child right there. We need you. You're important. You know, so there's just so much, so much you can do. And that's, that's what I, I hope people realize. You know, of course, there's many levels of depression. There's angry. I, I suffer from really bad anxiety. It's something that I deal with it every day. But I've learned, you know, with no medicine, no nothing, I have learned on my own. I did research. I was like, I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to feel this way, you know, but there's got to be a better way. I think anxiety is always going to be part of who I am, but I have learned so many ways to cope with it and bring it down and make it better and. And I just hope people, you know, look for help.
- [56:42]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah, for sure. For me, so much. Yeah. I. I had anxiety. Not as much as you do. I also had a lot of anxiety as well, Especially right after our mom and Anthony died.
- [56:53]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And.
- [56:53]
Cat Zamuto
Same. I didn't have any money. I was so freaking broke. I was like, what the. I didn't work. I barely worked for 14 years. I was really scared. I'm gonna tell you. No kidding. And I'm not a doctor. I'm not a specialist by any means, but I'm telling you, one of the things that saved my life. I adopted a dog. Right. I rescued Phoenix.
- [57:14]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [57:15]
Cat Zamuto
He saved me because he made me go out the door every single day. Yeah. And I'm not kidding you. And I tell you that just going for the walks every day does wonders. Does wonders because you start putting all those endorphins in your brain before. I know it sounds so stupid, because I believe in my heart I did that a lot. Yeah.
- [57:43]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And believe me, I would put AirPods, meditation, music, healing meditation, and I would go for walks. You know, I would walk for like a couple miles and then three miles. And that form. But that. Yes, that's so important.
- [58:00]
Cat Zamuto
It helps. So important. Yeah.
- [58:02]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, just healing and anxiety and passion and. And it helps everything.
- [58:08]
Cat Zamuto
It does. It really does. And I. I really believe. I've. I've interviewed dozens and dozens and dozens of experts of all areas on can on the loose the past four years. And I'm telling you, I believe the United States is a heavily medicated country. Like, if you go to a doctor right now and you say, I'm depressed, my mother died, they prescribe. Anything you want, they prescribe. They ask me every time I go to the doctor, they're like, do you want something to sleep? Do you want an antidepressant? Do you want this? I'm like, no, I don't. Personally, I don't like drugs in my system. I live a super healthy lifestyle, and I believe the best medicine is, like I said, go for a walk, sunshine, air, fresh air. Because mentally, it starts clearing your head. And I'm not saying it would prevent somebody from killing themselves. That's not what I'm saying. But maybe if you do it, it compounds you know, it starts making you feel better and better and better and better. So if you're super stressed or like you said in your case, you're. You're suffering from severe anxiety. If you do it every little, every day a little more, more, more. Like after a month, you're feeling like a brand new person. And I highly encourage people to do it. If you can adopt a dog, you know, I say the dog because, you know, sometimes people that are really depressed, they're like, oh, I'm not gonna go out today. But the dog forces you. They're like, okay. You with those puppy eyes, like, come on, Mommy. Come on. I remember in my darkest days, my darkest days, Phoenix forced me to go out the door. And then when I'm out there, I'm like, thank you, Feeny. I'm so glad we did this.
- [59:45]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Unconditional love, you know, the animals are so important. So important. I 100 agree. I just. Yeah. Are these like you just said? Is this gonna prevent somebody from committing suicide? I don't know. But maybe if you take tiny, tiny, tiny little steps.
- [60:05]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [60:05]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, if it's adopting a pet, if it's going for a walk with a friend or, you know, going out in nature. Also for me was practicing gratitude.
- [60:19]
Cat Zamuto
Oh, my God.
- [60:20]
Ty (Cat's sister)
For me was gratitude, faith, love, you know? You know, I was like, I gotta give my. I gotta have love touch my every now. I'm like, I know it might sound so stupid. I would touch my heart. I'm like, okay, I'm alive. I'm grateful. I gotta be here for my child. I, you know, fate. I would just do this little talk to myself every morning, you know, and it's just I would say all the things I'm grateful for because no matter how bad you think your life is, there's always something.
- [60:53]
Cat Zamuto
Oh, my God. Yes. There's always 1 million percent.
- [60:57]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Always. And even if it's like, oh, today I'm grateful for this beautiful weather, or I'm grateful for it could be something outside side your environment, but there's always something to be grateful for. And gratitude is just. It pulls you out of any darkness.
- [61:17]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [61:17]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I believe that with my heart.
- [61:19]
Cat Zamuto
I would not agree with you more. I agree. It's a game changer. It's a game changer. Same. It changed my life when I decided. And it's funny, right? Because I used to be married to a millionaire and, you know, I had this crazy lifestyle. Travel the world, stay in fancy hotels. La, la la la la. And I was miserable because, of course I was being Abused, like I couldn't do anything. Nowadays, my life is a million times more simple. But I do everything I, I love. And I am so grateful for every little thing I have. Like you said the most simple things. I walk out the door with Phoenix and I'm like, it's such a sunny day. I'm so super grateful. I know, like, it cost $0. I spend $0.
- [62:05]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I find gratitude and positivity, you know, in, in the smallest little things. And it doesn't matter how I could be. I have my sad days. I, I still have bad memories. I still, I, I, I get trigger sometimes. I get worried, I have concerned, I have stress. I, I'm constantly working. I'm. You know what I mean? I'm a single mom.
- [62:36]
Cat Zamuto
Yes. You know, same. Yeah.
- [62:39]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Single mom with minimum support system. Minimum support system. So. But I'm always like, there's always, always things to be grateful for. There's always something positive in my life. So the days that I'm just not feeling a hundred percent, I'm like, oh, wait a minute, I have to go through a gratitude list. I have to do a little gratitude.
- [63:04]
Cat Zamuto
List and somehow push forward. You gotta push.
- [63:07]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [63:08]
Cat Zamuto
Because if you believe that you can rebuild something amazing.
- [63:13]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [63:14]
Cat Zamuto
That if you come, like you said, you come from a place of love and you believe. You have to believe. I, that you have to come from a mindset that you believe you can build again. And that's already like a huge step forward. If you have to believe, you have to wake up in the morning and say, I believe. Obviously, you're doing amazing. You, you're much like in the beginning stages of your healing. I am more advanced stages of my healing. We are like different journeys. But if anybody out there listening, whatever stages of your healing that you are, don't give up, don't fold. You can be having, yeah, don't be, you can be having the worst day. You have to keep pushing ahead and believing. Because, look, if you stop, like it's that famous phrase, I don't know if you ever heard, you're going through hell, so you're not going to stop in hell. Right. You got to keep going until you get out of hell. Right. I think that's, that's the best, that's the best message I can. Okay.
- [64:20]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And I also think, you know.
- [64:23]
Cat Zamuto
I.
- [64:24]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Don'T know if I'm ever gonna be done healing. You know, I feel it's like healing isn't, it's an ongoing journey.
- [64:31]
Cat Zamuto
Yes.
- [64:31]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, I, that's, I feel like I'm I'm. I have. I'm never gonna stop healing. You know, I'm always gonna try to find ways to be happy and heal from my child, get better, you know, for sure. I have things that I need to work on and I'm always, you know, like, healing. I really feel healing is our journey. We should never stop feel. I don't think I'm ever gonna be like, I'm healed. I'm good.
- [64:56]
Cat Zamuto
No, I'm done. But you know, the beauty, I think that's the beauty of being an adult is like we are ever evolving, right. And try to be better and learning. Like just doing this podcast have been such a. A healing journey for me and a growing journey for me. I'm not the same Catherine that I was four years ago. The. I used to put up with the woman that I was. And. And we grow and we become better and better and better versions of ourselves. And I agree. We learn until the day that we're not here anymore. And I think that's what life is all about. And I am very proud of you because, you know, a lot of people would not be this strong at this point in the game. And you are raising an incredible, incredible human being. I know you're gonna find a prince. I know he's out there looking for you. And it's just like smooth sailing from now on. And I really, really hope our stories inspire people out there who are going through tough times. Because like I said, we are living proof that no matter what background you come from, and I promise you, we do not come from a nice background. We could do like a five hour episode shit show just about our family.
- [66:13]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah, I think and, and yeah, I don't think I have. I think you only, you really know the, you know, the things that I've been through in my childhood. I didn't know I was telling you some of it.
- [66:29]
Cat Zamuto
No, listen, and you know what cracks me up? Nobody like the. Our relatives that are like, still alive. Right. Nobody ever helped for. Nobody ever did for us. Nobody supported us when our father died and our mother. Nobody gives a fuck now because of social media. They see me like in Beverly Hills, whatever. No, no, they think. Probably think I'm a gazillionaire again. I don't know. They think they send hearts and love and they make comments on social media like, oh my God, it's amazing to see you girls, like, now they want to be a part of our lives again. Yeah. And I think because it just makes.
- [67:06]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Me laugh a different country, you know, it's Kind of like.
- [67:11]
Cat Zamuto
I don't know, but it's like, whatever.
- [67:13]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah. You know, I don't have a. Yeah, I think our. I think every single person. Everybody has childhood trauma, for sure. Everybody.
- [67:22]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah.
- [67:22]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You know, some have extreme ones, some have middle. You know, I feel like we had quite a bit. And then, you know, some people have minor ones, but everybody does.
- [67:35]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. But I'll tell you guys. I'll tell you guys one thing, and I think you agree with me no matter who it is. If it's your relative, your cousin, your father, your mother, whoever it is, if it's your friend, I don't care who it is. If it's somebody toxic in your life, you need to leave them behind and move forward without them in order to heal.
- [68:00]
Ty (Cat's sister)
100.
- [68:01]
Cat Zamuto
You just have. I left so many people behind that were horrific, horrific vampires to me. Like, the closest, closest people to me when my mother died and I realized what horrible, horrible. They were stealing from me. They were sucking me dry. They were sucking my energy, my life, my money. I literally had to cut ties and leave them behind in order for me to heal and move forward. You have to literally not care who they are. And. And you'd have to cut ties to save yourself, I think.
- [68:36]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah. I just learned.
- [68:39]
Cat Zamuto
Right. You have. You have to.
- [68:42]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I. To tell you that I have. I lost two very, very, very close friends. One of my best friends I lost because of this tragedy that I went through. She, you know, I. I was always there for her. We knew each other for 15 years. I was there for her to everything. And then when I'm. The first time, I'm like, I. I need this. I need you. I need you, you know, disappeared. So I'm like, okay, I need to. I need to be better. Like, I need to be better. Yeah, no, that's the thing. We need to be better. I need to be better and not have toxic people around me because we, you know, no making excuses. Get rid of it. It's the perfect time of the year to just, you know.
- [69:40]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah, exactly. You have to leave it behind. You have to leave it behind. Yeah, leave it behind. Cut ties. It's all about quality. I learned this in my life. I know because when I was a gazillionaire, I thought, oh, my God, I have hundreds of friends. They were a bunch of. There were a bunch of mochers, you know, they were champagne friends. I realized I had to cut ties with so many people. It's really about quality. And like, you said the word love. People that love you, unconditionally that are gonna stand by you, that are. That want the best for you. When you are drinking champagne, when you are having a great time, and when you are going through tragedy. Yeah, that's it. And cut everybody else and just ignore the noise.
- [70:26]
Ty (Cat's sister)
That's. I think that's the thing. You have to also, you know, you go through something like that, and you. That's when you learn who your friends are.
- [70:34]
Cat Zamuto
Oh, my God. Yeah.
- [70:35]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Wow. This. This friend.
- [70:37]
Cat Zamuto
Wow.
- [70:37]
Ty (Cat's sister)
This is a good friend. Yeah, the friend there. No, you're like, oh, okay. I'm glad this person is gone, because totally. You know, it's painful.
- [70:45]
Cat Zamuto
And it is painful because when somebody's your friend for, like, 20 years, 25 years, they frequent your homes, you give them vacations. You know, they sleep on your couch, you do things with them, and when you need them the most, they turn their back on you. It's very, very painful. You're like, oh, now I'm not good enough.
- [71:05]
Ty (Cat's sister)
It's another lot for me that.
- [71:07]
Cat Zamuto
It's a lot of loss. Yeah. But you know what? And I think you need to go through these losses in order to. Yeah, you just have to. Because as long as you have toxic people around, I think that's one of the toughest lessons. But as long as we have toxic relationships around, you cannot fully heal. You just can't.
- [71:27]
Ty (Cat's sister)
No, no.
- [71:28]
Cat Zamuto
You know. Yeah.
- [71:29]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I agree. The way it is, it's important to get rid of it and. And just begin healing one little thing at a time.
- [71:36]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah. One big step.
- [71:37]
Ty (Cat's sister)
But it's so important. And it's. It's not easy. It's not an easy journey. Healing is not easy, but we have to go through it.
- [71:44]
Cat Zamuto
Well, we can't. Anybody can do. If you and I could do it after all this crap, people can. We are in a great place that I want to. Yeah, we are in a great place.
- [71:53]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I think that's. That's how we wanted to. I think that's the thing. You know, we went through a lot, but we're like, no, we want it. We want to be better. We want to get better. We want to heal.
- [72:06]
Cat Zamuto
Yes.
- [72:07]
Ty (Cat's sister)
So, yeah, it's important.
- [72:09]
Cat Zamuto
I think, for me, I tell you one thing, right. I don't know how long I'm going to live, but I remember I say that to myself all the time, like, every week. I don't want to end up like my parents. I know it's hard, but I said, I do not want. I want to end up, like, dying sad or broke or depressed or a drunk. I want to Break this curse like you said, or spell, like I said. I want to make something. I want to leave a beautiful mark in the world with my something. I want to leave something beautiful behind. I don't know if it's the. If my podcast episodes touch somebody's heart, if it's anything that I do, you know, adopting, rescuing dogs, or telling stories. Stories. I want to leave something positive behind.
- [72:58]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Of course.
- [72:58]
Cat Zamuto
I want to break the. The cycle, you know, and I think that keeps me going, and I think you're doing the same. And like you said, you want to create a better life for your son, so.
- [73:08]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [73:09]
Cat Zamuto
Figure out what keeps you going and. And go after your dreams. Yeah.
- [73:15]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah. I think, you know, I. I thought about it. I was like, why? My purpose? And I think it's just really raising and just a really, really emotional, intelligent, kind, good human.
- [73:28]
Cat Zamuto
He is. He's.
- [73:29]
Ty (Cat's sister)
That's my priority.
- [73:30]
Cat Zamuto
He's incredible. You're very lucky because he's one of the most adorable, special boys. Yeah. He's so advanced. No, but, like, seriously, he talks and he's like, are you really turtle 14? You're not, like, 18 is, like, crazy how intelligent and advanced he is. It's, like, just such an honor being around him. He's so great.
- [73:55]
Ty (Cat's sister)
And thank you.
- [73:56]
Cat Zamuto
I'm very proud of you because I know it took a lot of you to do this podcast.
- [74:01]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I was very nervous.
- [74:03]
Cat Zamuto
I know. Speaking of new challenges, we always talk about that, right? Like, you gotta be. Challenge yourself, try out new things. You know, fight through anxiety. Go for it. This is a great example. You know, just go for. And then once you do it, you're like, wow, I'm so proud of myself. I can do new things.
- [74:22]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Yeah.
- [74:23]
Cat Zamuto
And I'll bring you back one day.
- [74:25]
Ty (Cat's sister)
No.
- [74:25]
Cat Zamuto
Yeah, I'll bring you back because I want to do another episode about dating. Because today we didn't even have time.
- [74:31]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Dad, I have tons of.
- [74:32]
Cat Zamuto
Yes, because I want to do an entire episode about dating.
- [74:37]
Ty (Cat's sister)
We're gonna need a few episodes.
- [74:39]
Cat Zamuto
Yes, for sure. I love you so much, and I hope you love Baxter. And, guys, remember, the message, I think, is, like, do everything with love and go after your dreams. You can heal any trauma. And please, if you are suffering, if you are under any kind of mental anguish, seek help. I am putting. I am attaching a link here to this. This podcast episode where you can seek help, and there are many, many, many, many resources you can reach out to us directly. We have 24. 7 open lines of communication through WhatsApp 1305. 3. 320338 and via email. Contact at Cat on the Loose, but please seek help. Talk to someone. Talk to someone. Don't keep it to yourself if you don't have relatives like us. Talk to a friend. Talk. Or call the hotline. Go through the link, call us. We will hook you up. You are never, ever alone. Right?
- [75:47]
Ty (Cat's sister)
You're not. Never. There's always. There's always, always something that can be done.
- [75:53]
Cat Zamuto
Yes. I truly believe life is too precious. Life is too precious.
- [75:56]
Ty (Cat's sister)
Too precious. And every single person matter. Yes. They really do. Yes, I know. My son's dad mattered a lot.
- [76:06]
Cat Zamuto
Oh, yes. One minute. A lot. Yes. So I wish you were here so I could hug you. I love you so much. Me too. I can't wait until you guys are back here where you belong.
- [76:17]
Ty (Cat's sister)
I know. I can't wait to see you.
- [76:19]
Cat Zamuto
I love you guys. This was a very special kind of loose kicking off season five with Ty and I'll see you guys very soon. Be safe out there. And this one is for everyone that loves to play poker and is planning a trip to Las Vegas. I just came back from Las Vegas. I found out about this and I want to share with you guys because I had so much fun. I'm inviting you to go check out the most fun, most private poker game in town, held right inside Aria's resort VIP poker room. It's called Table one and I love the name and it's very fitting because this is the most exclusive, hottest poker table in town right now. Even if you're not that into poker or new to the game and want to try it out, this is a great opportunity to network with businessmen, athletes and celebrities in a super exclusive environment. Mr. Beast has played there. Dan Bilzerian has played there. Golf pros have played in it. Like an elite, exclusive social club, but also a really, really fun, cool environment. And you're going to play Texas no limit, hold them and you're going to have so much fun. It's blowing up. Definitely one of the hottest places in all of Las Vegas right now. However, your name needs to be on the list in order for you to gain access. So make sure you send me a message if you want to do it through Instagram. Cat Zamuto z a m m u t o DM there or text me or WhatsApp on 1310-692-0578 to reserve your seat for priority access. And I am going to give you some incredible special comps that are only available to my guests. You guys gotta listen to this. They will reimburse your Aria hotel fee for up to $350 for each day you play the game. They will give you private transportation from the airport to the hotel, and they will give you access to special airfare deals for business and first class tickets. I mean, these guys will totally roll out the red carpet for you. And you're going to have so much fun. So if you're planning a trip to Las Vegas, let me hook you up with Table 1, and you are going to love it. Don't forget, send me a message.