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- [00:02]
A
JD welcome to Cat on the Loose. So much to talk about. It's a pleasure having you here, Zim.
- [00:08]
B
Thank you so much for having me.
- [00:10]
A
So, look, I want to start with a really tough question, okay? And just. Just be as honest as you possibly can. I've been doing Cat on the Loose. We're actually closing season five now. So it's been five years. I've interviewed many matchmakers, new ones, wannabe matchmakers, the most successful, famous matchmakers. You know, I've interviewed many, many, many, many. And I receive messages from women all over the world about matchmakers, and I talk to my friends about matchmakers in general. The consensus is most people don't have the best image of matchmakers. They basically just say, like, they don't do that great of a job. So since you are a matchmaker, you've been doing this for so long. What would you have to say to that?
- [01:00]
B
So I have a few things to say to that. So I completely believe the people that had negative experiences, so I don't want to discount what those experiences were like.
- [01:12]
The matchmakers in it's a very small community, and I would say there's a big, big difference between people who work with matchmakers who are local to their area, who. Who approach it in its purest form, which is my business partner and I out in Los Angeles, and we're only doing matchmaking in Los Angeles. We meet every single person that we're matching, and everybody is a referral. That's not the case with all matchmakers, but for us, every single person is referred to us. It's really like friends setting up friends. And we've been doing this for over a decade. So now it's referrals of referrals of referrals. But we really get to know not only the people that are signing up to be actively matched by us, but even people in our database who we are matching them with. Every single person is treated the same, and we really get to know everyone and what they're looking for in a lot of. When it comes to these big national companies. And I don't want to name specific names because, again, everybody does things differently. But with the ones that have a national presence, generally speaking, what I find is you pay tons of money to have what you think is a very, like, pure matchmaking experience. And maybe you meet with an amazing matchmaker, I don't know, in Colorado named Maria, right? And then you can't wait for Maria to set you up. And it's a big company at her company, and Maybe there's a great guy, Dave, who sounds good to her to the matchmaker on paper, but another matchmaker at her company, Stephanie, is the person who met Dave. And so Stephanie and Maria talk. Oh, your client sounds good for my client. And they make those introductions. And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I'm a really big believer in the purest form of matchmaking, where you meet every party involved yourself, and you don't outsource the matches. You're not going on LinkedIn, trying to find a date for someone, or passing out business cards at Whole Foods. Every person I meet has been referred, has been vetted, who I've really gotten to know. So I would say the people that have had those experiences, maybe the majority have gone to maybe some of those nationally based services would be my guess. But I'd love to hear from them and address specific complaints because I definitely don't speak for everyone.
- [03:40]
A
Okay, so a lot of questions. I'm glad you brought up the database because that's the first big problem. Right. And I. And you just said you're not the same. But, like, pretty much every matchmaker on this planet, whether it's local or big company or whatever it is, they have the paying clients, usually men, let's say there's a rich guy here in Beverly Hills, so to speak. And then the matchmaking companies have a database of women that basically register. You go there and you put your name in you, and you're sitting on that database. And most of the time, like, these guys pay a fee, and you tell me what you do different. Please help us understand it. So these guys pay a fee, a lot of money, and the matchmaking company promises them, oh, I'm gonna set you up with three girls. So like you said, they never met these girls. The database has sometimes thousands of women just sitting there dreaming and hoping that they're gonna be matched, but, you know, maybe will. So they just send you on random dates, like with these dudes, because they want to fulfill what the guy paid for. And of. Of the time, it doesn't work because most of the time it's like a massive mismatch. Is that you said you don't do that. Right? So let's say if I ask you to be.
- [04:52]
B
Yeah, I'm smiling just because you're basically a walking advertisement for the way we operate. We don't do any of that. And I mentally disagree with companies that take that approach for the exact reasons you're talking about.
- [05:08]
A
Great.
- [05:08]
B
I'm glad you got into specifics but so let.
- [05:11]
A
Let's use me as an example, just so people understand it. Like, for everybody out there listening, I'm like, I have bunch of single friends like me, and we're going to talk about. A lot of them are like, I'm giving up on this dating shit because it's too chaotic. But let's say I ask you. Like, I meet you, and I'm like, jd, amazing. Like, I don't have money to pay for a matchmaker, but I want to be on your database or whatever you do. So how would you go about working with me for. As an example?
- [05:37]
B
Okay, so as an example, and I'm very transparent about our process, so I will say you would not get set up free of charge. That being said, it would not be anywhere near what a lot of these other companies charge. So typically, you have so much that you bring to the table. You're beautiful, you're intelligent, you're personable. A typical package somewhere in Los Angeles. For you to get matched would be maybe $10,000 for eight matches for my company.
- [06:07]
A
Eight matches? Eight matches. Okay.
- [06:10]
B
Eight to ten matches. That's. Yeah, that's pretty typical. Some charge 20,000 and up, some charge 500,000. I mean, it really depends.
- [06:16]
A
Ye.
- [06:17]
B
Yeah, I charge. And my business partner, Lauren Rosenberg and I, we charge the equivalent of more like a year of online dating. So if you came to us and you wanted to be matched as a.
- [06:28]
A
Client, can you tell us how much that is? Come on, let's put it out there, because I know all my girlfriends.
- [06:32]
B
Absolutely. No, I'm telling you, I am. I am an open book. So we charge 3.99 for six months of matchmaking.
- [06:39]
A
That's very, very affordable.
- [06:41]
B
Girls, our whole slogan is we want love to be affordable to everybody.
- [06:45]
A
So 3.99. That's. I love that. Okay, I'm glad we're talking for six months. I'm actually. So on those six months, how many days? So everybody on your database, nobody's there for free? Is that what you're saying? Everybody.
- [06:59]
B
There are some people for free. There are some people for free. So for us, there's another thing that separates us. You talked about these men at other companies that charge, they get. They pay a ton of money for a guaranteed number of matches that fit the criteria that they're looking for. And then the free women, they get matched with them because they're young, they're beautiful, but maybe the women aren't looking for them back. Right? So what we do is a bit reverse. We charge the women the straight women, it's a little bit different for our LGBTQ population, and I can get into that as well, if you're curious. But for the straight women, we charge that 3.99 for six months. The most we charge for matchmaking over the course of a year is 1500, if there's a little coaching built in, which we're huge fans of. And also something else I can get into. But for this affordable rate, you're able to be matched. The men who are straight, men who are not opting into a higher paying tier, we do offer a complimentary one. And the reason is, when we started this company over a decade ago, we discovered because we were charging everyone, it just made sense. Everyone gets charged the same. Well, what happens is, in a city like Los Angeles, we women, we're smart. We know it's tough out there. We're humble, we know, okay, if I have to pay a little money like I would for an online dating service to find a great guy, I'm willing to do that. The issue we ran into was the good looking, successful men didn't think they needed to pay. And those were the men the women we worked with wanted to meet. So we said, you know what? Don't pay us. Just treat on the date. Be a gentleman treat on the date. And so we have this amazing database of great quality men that ordinarily would not seek out matchmaking. And then the women pay us a nominal fee, and we are not paying.
- [08:58]
A
Wait, wait, wait. So the guys are not paying you and the girls are paying you? Is that what you're saying?
- [09:02]
B
Yes. Which on the surface sounds, in a way, anti feminist. It's the complete opposite. Right.
- [09:10]
A
Okay.
- [09:10]
B
We're looking out for the women. So by having this business model, we are able to find the guys that the women want to meet. The quality, the good looking, successful, intelligent, personable, all the things that you bring to the table. We want those men in our database.
- [09:28]
A
And so why would this man not pay? Like, if they're wealthy? Because I have a bunch of flowers. Single wealthy guys.
- [09:34]
B
Yeah.
- [09:35]
A
And they would pay something reasonable. Why would they not pay? Like, why would they get this for free if the girls are. I would feel weird. Like, if I'm on a date with someone and I tell them, oh, I paid a fee.
- [09:45]
C
I want to try this.
- [09:46]
A
He's like, oh, I didn't. I don't know.
- [09:49]
B
I had. My husband's an example. He. We set him up five times.
- [09:52]
A
He did.
- [09:53]
B
He's the. He will tell you he would not have paid for matchmaking, he was in a position, if he wanted to, to make a big investment in a matchmaking company, he never would have. And a lot of men in his position, when they're single, feel like, why would I spend money on that? I can get quality women on my own. Well, they're not.
- [10:14]
A
If they're single. They're not, are they?
- [10:16]
B
Well, that. That's the question. Right. But to actually convince them that. That they need assistance, it's a little bit different than the conversations we've had over the years with women. And we find that we're able to better help the women that we're working with and trying to find matches for by really just being practical and recognizing that, yes, there are outliers.
- [10:41]
A
There are.
- [10:42]
B
And I consult for other matchmaking companies and I meet them. They're wonderful men that are willing to pay tons of money to find. To find a great connection. But there's more, more than the ones that are willing. There's more that are unwilling. They feel like they don't need the help. And so, you know, they'd rather go to a bar or go to a friend's party or go on hinge. Right. So they just don't feel like they necessarily need matchmaking. Now. Matchmaking is becoming a lot more popular, and if it changes, our business model will change with it. But right now, the reason we've had so many successful matches, I think in part is due to the fact that we have such a great database of quality mental.
- [11:28]
A
So let's say there is a quality man out there listening. If they reach out to you, like, hey, I heard on Cat on the Loose that I can be matched for free. That's the way that you're just gonna do.
- [11:39]
B
No interview with them. So they still need a referral. So I'll. I'll date coach anybody, but I will not take any man off the street. I don't know if you saw the movie Materialist.
- [11:50]
A
Yes. And that's the image most people have of most matchmakers. You know, they're like, so money hungry. They just want to match people. They. They don't really care about who they're matching. And I have to tell you, jd, you know, because pretty much every matchmaker I interviewed, they always tell me, like, I want to try to match you. Right. I think it would be like, I don't know. Of course, fantastic marketing for them. If they match me so many times in the past, I'm like, okay, go for it. And I have to tell you, it's been always A disaster always. I wish it was. I wish I could tell you like a happier story, but it's been always like a complete, complete mismatch, complete disaster. And actually one time it turned into something serious. Believe it or not, I did an episode of the podcast about it. Because this girl, she called herself like this high value, high end matchmaker, La la la, la la. Here from Beverly Hills. I'm not gonna name names, but. And so she. We became friendly after the podcast. Like, please, I want to match. Cutting the story short, she connects me with a dude, and the minute I talk on the phone with him, you know, you have a bad vibe. Like, I knew I wasn't a match for the guy, but he insisted so much, I said, okay, we can meet for coffee to be friends. You know, we live in Beverly Hills. And after I met him for coffee to be friends, he started stalking my social media, leaving super nasty comments on my social media. And then one day, actually almost physically attacked me.
- [13:18]
B
Wow.
- [13:18]
A
On the street, in front of my clients. On the street here in Beverly Hills, on Beverly Boulevard.
- [13:25]
B
Like, almost.
- [13:25]
A
It came like an inch to like body slamming me. So, you know, it was super bad situation. And when I reached out to her, I'm like, you know, I want to tell you what's going on. Instead of apologizing, she was mad. She was like, I'm never gonna match you again. I said, no.
- [13:42]
Wow.
- [13:43]
B
We'll have to sidebar when this is over. I am curious because it's a small industry, but yeah, so it was really bad.
- [13:51]
A
I'm like, so traumatized by.
- [13:54]
But I.
- [13:56]
Wanted, I wanted to bring you on the show because of course, I want you the opportunity to explain why you're different because I saw you have tons and tons of experience, but unfortunately, it's a nightmare dealing with matchmakers out there in general.
- [14:10]
B
You know, I think when someone. Because there are the thing that's unfortunate, there are really good ones out there. You have to know, and I'm happy to help your listeners know because I can't take everybody on. Not only am I referral only. And notice I didn't say, oh, I have to set you up. I would love to set you up, but there's so much more I need to know about you to know if I can have somebody who you would like. Right. So the thing is, you have to arm yourself with the questions to ask companies when you're considering signing up for matchmaking, especially the ones that charge so much. Some of them are worth the money, truly. And, you know, in my book, that's coming out. I specifically name some of the good ones that I am familiar with. I'm not worried about anyone taking business away or anything. I just want people to find love. So I, like, I always share names.
- [15:02]
A
Same, same.
- [15:03]
B
Yeah, yeah. But in terms of, you know, you do have to, unfortunately, protect yourself. What happened to you is horrible. The hypothetical that played out in the film Materialists, for the listeners who don't know, there's something very similar. Right. That takes place in the film. This is the reason that my company is referral only. It's the hypothetical that kept me up at night thinking, I want to find love for my clients. But what if something happens with the guy I approached at the Grove? You know, then something like that that happened to you happens with my client. So I was having trouble sleeping, and I said to my business partner, you know, we both agreed we need to make this referral. Only not only does it help keep matchmaking in its purest form, but it allows us to sleep at night. You know, you can't make guarantees with anything in life. But we were trying as hard as we can to make sure everybody is in, you know, an exciting and also safe environment. But some of the questions. Is that helpful to you if I. If I share with your listeners some questions they could ask? Potential.
- [16:02]
A
Yeah, of course. Because, listen, I want to. I just want to make a parenthesis here. I love that you said that. I think it's very ethical. I agree with you. Because unfortunately, matchmaking is kind of like a cutthroat business. And like you mentioned, some of them. And one of the most successful, super famous one has been on my show twice. She charges upwards of $100,000 per client. She's super aggressive on her approach. I actually did connect her with one of my dear friends who is a multimillionaire single guy on the East Coast. But this woman literally called, like, hey, you know, so send me a wire transfer. It's $100,000. And he was like, whoa, lady, you know, calm down. Like you said, how about getting to know me, what I'm interested in? They're very aggressive and money hungry sometimes. And that doesn't sit well with the wealthy man. And that doesn't sit well with a lot of successful women who are not after men for money. Like, in my case, I have a lot of single girlfriends here in the Beverly Hills area. We want to be in a relationship. We're not in a hurry, and we are not looking for a sugar daddy. We're not asking for a guy to pay our bills, but we want to feel that we're in this, you know, safe environment, so to speak. Like you were, you were talking about, right?
- [17:17]
C
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- [19:10]
B
Yeah, I would say if you're considering going to a potential matchmaker, I would want to know where they're sourcing their database from. There's no governing body that oversees what we do in a way that truly has accountability. So you have to kind of take it upon yourself to gauge whether or not you're getting honest responses. However, I would ask somebody, you know, where, where is the majority of your database from?
- [19:36]
A
From?
- [19:37]
B
Is it an internal database? Are you going to other matchmakers getting referrals from them? Are you going on LinkedIn and Instagram? Are you going to events and handing out business cards? How many if, let's say you, I'm paying you $25,000 for 10 matches, how many of those 10 matches do you think will come from your personal database? And if you recruit for me. Let's say you have seven matches, but you promised me 10. Where do you tend to get those other three? That's very important to know.
- [20:09]
A
Yeah.
- [20:10]
B
Even let me. Oh, go ahead.
- [20:13]
A
Let me ask you on, on that note. And you tell me your honest opinion because you were saying like what to ask them. I personally. And that's a mistake that I made, like with this girl that matched me. From now on, I always ask that question. And you can be honest if you think I'm exaggerating. I personally think if you are a matchmaker and you've never been in a relationship, you've never been married, or you've never been in a long term relationship, you are desperately trying to match yourself. Like this girl was the girl that matched me. But you've never able to match yourself. You've never been in a relationship, long term marriage. I don't see how you can say that you can match other people. To me, it's kind of like going to a personal trainer who is fat and you're like, hey, I can train you, but I cannot train me. Do you agree with that train of thought or do you think that's like exaggerating?
- [21:08]
B
Listen, it's really good for me to agree with you just because, like I'm married. I married one of my clients because I knew what I was looking for and I knew it when I met him.
- [21:18]
A
So.
- [21:19]
B
So of course I want to agree with you. I think there is something to be said for that. That being said, I had a tennis coach. I'm a very competitive tennis player. I had a tennis coach growing up who was a great tennis coach. He made me so much better as a player. He never went pro. You know, he wasn't a professional player, but he was a great coach. So I think there is something to be said for people who think about one of your friends who gives the best dating advice but doesn't apply it to her own life. Right. So I don't want to make a blanket statement that, you know, if a matchmaker's single, then you know she can't find you a great match. Because I know people, like, if they're.
- [22:00]
A
Great, why can't they do it for themselves? Like, why is all your relationships fail? Why are you alone? Why can't you? You know what I mean?
- [22:07]
B
It's like, yeah, I mean, you would.
- [22:09]
A
Think you would put yourself first, right?
- [22:11]
B
I think it depends. Right there, there is truth to be had in terms of if someone is introspective enough to figure out is there Something holding them back and are they able to work on that themselves?
- [22:24]
A
And.
- [22:25]
B
But then there are people that just haven't met the right person yet. And I work with a lot of those clients. And so I don't want to make the assumption that because a matchmaker's single, you know, there's something wrong with her. The same way you would not want someone to say, you know, Kat, you're single, there must be a reason. What is it? What's wrong with you? Yeah.
- [22:44]
A
So my case, you don't know my backstory, but I was married for 15 years. My husband passed away in 2018. So I was married. I was in a long term relationship. I did start the podcast after my husband passed away and I was starting my life over, back in the dating game, you know, starting life again in the 40s, back in the dating game, back in the relationships again. And I still don't call myself an expert. I always say, like, so we can all learn together, you know, so nowadays I'm there, I'm single by choice because I know exactly what I want. So I'm really happy, taking my time, you know, but again, I'm not trying to match anyone and I'm not an expert and I just put all these conversations out there. Again, if somebody wants to use a matchmaker, I want them to be as well informed as possible. Whatever it is that people want to do, I think we need to educate ourselves. Right. But unfortunately, I do think if you are going to charge people for money. I'm sorry, like I said, it's like a dentist. Would you go to a dentist that has bad teeth? Like, oh, you know, I'm gonna fix your teeth, but I. I'm fixing my teeth some other day. Like, why would you go to a matchmaker? That. Again, I'm not talking about marriage. Like, even. Have you been able to have like a long term relationship? I think you need to understand the dynamics of a relationship better.
- [24:10]
B
Yeah. Listen, I'm not gonna push back too hard because like I said, there's part of me that obviously agrees, but I just want to leave room for the outliers because I do know some great matchmakers who are single. But. But yes. Would I personally feel more comfortable working with a matchmaker or a dating coach or any kind of dating expert who has figured out their own love life? Of course. Right. So that's something that could be helpful maybe for a person when they're making inquiries. You know, they have to determine that for themselves. But. But yes, leave room for the outliers. I'm always a fan of, of that because not, not everyone is a monolith. I also, when asking questions at these companies, the number one question that gets asked, do you know what it is? No, what, what is your, what are your success rates or what's your success rate? That's the number one question.
- [25:05]
A
Yeah.
- [25:06]
B
That's a very terrible one though. It's a terrible question, but it's the most common. The reason it's the worst, as I mentioned, there's no governing body to say they're telling the truth. Right. And people come in and the assumption is when I say I'm a potential client and you're a potential matchmaker cat, I say, what's your success rates? I assume you're going to tell me the percentage of people that get married through the company or at bare minimum find a significant other. So most of these websites, you go to the websites, we have an 87% success or 92% success rate. I could tell you that is not the success they are referring to. It is impossible. Right. I think I'm really great at what I do that those percentages. I'm sorry, I called, I call bullshit. It's impossible. Having consulted at a lot of these and, and knowing employees of these companies, it is impossible. So what do they mean by success? So if you go into a company and you say, what are your success rates? And they tell you, oh, it's 82%. Follow up with what does success mean at your company? Is that 82% of people have gotten married. It's going to be a no. Right. So, yeah, what does that mean? And I can tell you, at a lot of these companies, they will. Whether or not they're honest, I don't know. But the behind the scenes from people I know at these companies who work there, one common metric is, oh, first dates that lead to second dates. So if you work with them for a year and you have at least one second date success story.
- [26:45]
A
Yay. Yeah. That's not a success story, right? No.
- [26:49]
B
And I, I know other companies, their, their measure of success is if someone gets into a relationship during their membership, but not necessarily with someone they introduce them to. So if you sign up, it's Right. It's absurd. So if you sign up for a matchmaking company and you find your boyfriend on Tinder, they will count that as a success story.
- [27:11]
A
Because that's deceiving. That's just, it's deceiving.
- [27:14]
B
So follow up and ask, what does success mean at your company? When people come to me and they say, what are your success rates? I'll say, I'll be honest with you, I'm always going to have more failures than successes. That's impossible that a matchmaker will have more successes than failures.
- [27:29]
A
And it's very refreshing, by the way, very refreshing to speak with someone who's like being so honest, open about it and actually has a different approach because I've never seen that before being super.
- [27:39]
B
It's really important I I it all of this started, you know, I think when I founded the company, I was very much about image and sales. Like, how do I convince people that I'm good at what I do?
- [27:51]
A
Yeah.
- [27:52]
B
As I've been doing it more and I've done consulting for some of these other companies and I've gotten to know these clients so intimately. I fall in love with all of these people platonically. I so badly want them to find love. Oh, I'm sure.
- [28:05]
A
Because listen, I'm not a matchmaker and I get messages from women and men all over the world and I'm like cheering for them. Yeah, I can imagine you when it's your business, you know.
- [28:17]
B
Right. And I'm getting to know everything about them and what they're looking for. And so I've seen at these other companies, I've seen them get so screwed over sometimes. Right. Again, there's some wonderful companies out there that don't operate that way. But I've seen the bad stories, the ones that you're referring to with your friends, and it's made me be so transparent about the process because good for you. That's everybody should know what they're signing up for, especially if you're going to spend that much money on it.
- [28:45]
A
Oh my God, totally. Now another question. The number one complaint of men is that even like on dating apps, websites, whatever it is, they're like, most women want my money. They start asking for gifts. Like, I have a friend, he's a very, very, very wealthy, super nice guy. He wants to be in a relationship. We were talking last week and he was like, oh my God. I was talking to this girl on some fancy dating website and before she ever met me, she was like, oh, can you send me doordash? Can you send me money? Can you say, yeah, but every single one of my single guy friends, I get messages from men all over the world. That's the number one complaint that women want their money. Now there's a new exception expression, Right. That they're using a lot on social media, which is I want a provider, but what that really means is I want some dude that's going to pay for all my bills. So what do you have to say about that? Like, what would you say to these women out there? Because I personally think this is a horrible approach. I, I'm all about women empowerment. I, I think women should make their own money. I think it's a horrible idea to look at men as ATMs. I feel bad for the man. I feel embarrassed as a woman when I see women doing that. I'm just, I think it's really bad. But I know that a lot of girls, even with matchmakers are like, oh, I'm gonna be on this matchmaker database. Na na na na na. And they see this shows that, you know, there used to be a lot of matchmaking shows on TV because they think, you know, I'm gonna score a rich dude. What do you have to say about that?
- [30:18]
B
I would say, again, it's why I run the business the way I do. Because, you know, if you have these men that are paying so much money to be matched and women that are not paying anything to be in a database, sometimes they do pay a nominal fee.
- [30:32]
That is the expectation. Right. They're going to get set up on a date with some private island owning venture capitalist. And so the approach is a little bit different. And again, I leave room for outliers, but this is why at my company, I work with those same men, but I'm not setting them up for their money. Right. I'm not profiting from working with wealthy men. The women that come to me are not specifically looking for wealthy men. They're wealthy women. They're successful in their own right, and they are just missing this one piece of their life. And so they're coming to me for assistance. My database has a ton of men who are very successful in it, but I'm not the metric for matching. I don't really take finances into the equation. Everybody that we match is, you know, they're relatively successful, stable.
- [31:24]
A
Sorry, we lost for a second.
- [31:29]
B
That's okay.
- [31:30]
A
Where did you.
- [31:32]
You were saying you have a lot of men on your database that are very wealthy.
- [31:39]
B
Yeah, I'm saying I've men that are wealthy men that are at the very bare minimum, just very stable. Right. It's, it's a range. But I don't only work with people that can afford, you know, a super luxury matchmaking experience when it comes to the, the rates that they are paying. And so because of that, it just attracts a different type of demographic. I work with mostly Women who are successful that would love someone who's an equal in that regard, but they're not getting set up with finances being like a predominant factor in terms of the qualities they're looking for. So my experience is a little bit different. What I would say to women that are taking that approach, I don't think it's the right one. I think that, you know, of course, whether you're a wealthy male or a wealthy female, you're going to be able to tell pretty early, you know, why someone is interested in you and vice versa. And so I think you have to do some reflection and figure out, yes, having stability is great. People lose their money. I can't tell you how many people I've seen that are extremely wealthy. Look what just happened in the Palisades. People who lost their homes and they were over leveraged and there's divorces because, you know, people are finding out their husbands and wives didn't have as much money as they claim to have and we're overspending. And so you might marry somebody for their money, only to find out, you know, a decade later, they lose it all. And so, you know, I'm a big fan of making sure people are marrying for the right reasons. And yeah.
- [33:10]
A
So if a girl there is listening and they want to work with you, do you like, do your due diligence? Do you ask questions to make sure that, that that woman is like serious about having a relationship and not just trying to find a guy to support her financially? Yeah.
- [33:26]
B
So because I'm referral only, it helps mitigate some of that. I already know that someone that I know, whether it's really well or referral of referral of referral. Right. There's someone vouching for this person that they're a quality individual. I know they're looking for something serious because who would take the time? We have an extensive intake questionnaire. We then meet with somebody for 45 minutes to an hour to figure out what they're looking for. It's a lot of trouble to go through whether you're a man or a woman, you know, if you are not looking for something serious. So that's bare minimum to, to work with us. We do require, you know, a referral on the matchmaking front. But I do date coaching for anybody. I do that internationally. Anybody who, you know, wants.
- [34:12]
A
So what, what does dating, dating, coaching entails? Like you teach people how to go have better dates.
- [34:19]
B
What they do, It's a massive range. So I think there's a lot of misconception around date coaching that, oh, you know, I'm a great dater. I don't need your help. Well, it's. It can be that maybe you have trouble getting to that first date. It can be that when you're on that first date that you have a nervous habit that's getting in the way or you're not confident enough. You know, there's. There's some insecurity that's holding you back. There's a range of issues. Right. They can't get out of work mode. But there are also a ton of men and women I work with who have no trouble getting a second date. They just go out with all the wrong people. And so I also work with those people as well to get to the bottom of why are you attracting the wrong types? Why are you repeating these. These old patterns? And so there's such a range. And I've seen that's something that I have no problem raving about. Success percentages, you know, 95. I mean, I'd have to go back and really crunch the numbers, but I can promise over 90%, potentially even 100. If you were to pull all of the people that I've coached over the years, every single person I'm pretty confident would say they got so much out of the experience. Because I can guarantee with coaching that you will see improvement. With matchmaking, I find your husband or your wife or I don't. Right. So that's a hard thing for me to justify charging so much for, because I cannot guarantee it. I can try. I can guarantee I'll try my best. But that's why my rates are a little bit different. With matchmaking coaching, you will see noticeable improvements. I'll make you a better flirt. I'll help you go to the right places to find your husband or your wife. You know, it's. There's. There's a guarantee I could make there. So I'm.
- [36:04]
A
Okay, guys, you're listening. Maybe everybody. Everybody could use a little dating coaching. But before I let you go, a lot of people out there just saying they're tired. Like, I. And it breaks my heart because, like, although I'm single, I'm very happy. But I'm a firm believer in love. Never give up on finding love. Never give up on finding the right person for you. But lately, even some young women putting on social media, like, oh, I'm gonna be single. I'm sick of this dating game. It's such a show. I'm done. I'm done.
- [36:38]
B
And.
- [36:38]
A
And girls write on my social Media posts every day, like, ah, never. It's too much work. All men are pigs. I'm not gonna do it anymore. I'm gonna be single forever. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, please don't give up on love. What do you have to say to those that are like, oh, no, this is just so much work, I can't do it anymore.
- [36:58]
B
So I would say a few things. First of all, everyone has a right to take a break or to remove themselves from the dating.
- [37:04]
A
Yeah, a break. I agree.
- [37:07]
B
Like we said, you're single by choice, right? So I think that that's important to feel empowered to decide when you want to be dating and when you don't. I'm with you. I feel like eventually I want everyone to get back on the horse and to not give up because I know how much happier they could potentially be if they find fulfillment in that way. I just really. I clearly believe in that or I wouldn't be doing what I do. And so it's a double edged sword. I do think that you can't find the right person until you're happy on your own. It's cliche, but I really believe it. So if you need to take that time to find that happiness on your own, wonderful. I think it's a necessity to find the right partner. So please do that. But get back out there. If you something I tell friends, I actually have a friend who met her husband this way in a very funny turn of events. But have a friend run a dating profile for you. You don't even have to be the one doing it, you know, hey, I'm feeling the burnout on my hinge app. Have your best friend, I promise you she will love it. Choose dates for you. Let her go on and do all of the swiping.
- [38:16]
A
I don't think I would ever let my friends do that for me. Why? Why?
- [38:22]
I know it'll be a total disaster.
- [38:24]
B
Oh my gosh. It's such a fun experiment. I have to tell you and my friend. So have single friends do it too. I did it for a friend while I was breastfeeding. Like it was late at night and I was doing some swiping. I've done it for clients, of course, but it's so. It's fun if you're not single, but if you, if you are. So I have a good friend, Jackie, who took over my friend Florencia's online dating profile when Flor was feeling the dating burnout. Jackie, who was single, swiping, swiping, swiping. Sent Flor on some dates. She would show photos first. Well, she showed Flor a photo of this man, Sergio, from. From Italy, had just moved here. And Floor was like, I don't think he's for me. Jackie said, do you mind if I go on a date? Well, I just went to their wedding. I just officiated their wedding.
- [39:09]
A
Oh, wow.
- [39:10]
B
You never know.
- [39:12]
A
Yeah, you never know. Look, I'm glad you mentioned something very important that I completely agree with you. You. I think you need to be happy alone first, right? And then you're going to be much more prepared to find love with someone if you're happy with your own life. And that's what I did for myself. Number two, yes, I'm single because I found happiness in my life, but I'm always open to finding love. I'm always open to finding a relationship, and I do love that. You mentioned it's a big difference between taking a break. We call it here on Cat on the Loose, the dating diet. Go on a dating diet for a while. If you need a break, regroup, reset. But jump right back, because I think the right person for you is trying to find you. Right? So you got to put yourself out there somehow, whether it's in the real world or through friends or a matchmaker. You got to give it a try.
- [40:05]
B
It's crazy how aligned we are. Just a lot of the phrasing you use is phrases I use with clients. When I. When I have a client that comes to me and they say, oh, I'm using a matchmaker now, I. I remove myself from the dating apps. No, get. Get back on. You can't just rely on me. I want to help you. I hope I do. It's good for my business if I find your person. Nothing would make me happier. But you have to be findable for the right person. If you remove yourself from the dating pool completely. If the reason is my connection. Okay.
- [40:37]
A
Yeah, it's better. It's much better.
- [40:39]
B
Can you still hear me okay?
- [40:40]
A
Yeah, I can hear you.
- [40:41]
B
Okay. If you. If you remove yourself entirely from the dating pool. Now, let's say the whole reason you're single is you're supposed to marry someone. Jake. And you just haven't met him. Well, Jake's looking for you on. On Bumble right now, and you're not on Bumble. In fact, you're not on any dating sites. You're not even going out to singles events. So poor Jake is just spinning his wheels trying to find you, and you're not helping your future Husband.
- [41:10]
A
I love that. I love that. I think it's all about, like, not giving up on love. So anybody out there listening, if you're burned out, take a break like I did this year. I got burned out in a relationship last year and I'm like, you know what? I need to breathe. I need to regroup before I jump back in the dating. Now I'm like, okay, I feel ready again. Let's go. So it's a big difference between taking a break and giving up on love. And I love your approach because you seem very real. You definitely seem different. I have to say, before we started, I'm like, I don't know if she's going to be the same like all the other ones, but you definitely seem like you're very different from other matchmakers out there. I love your approach and I actually loved your book, by the way. Thank you for sending it over. Your last.
- [41:56]
Who doesn't love this title? I cannot wait to find my last first day. That's going to be exciting. I'm looking forward to that. So where can people find the book and where can people find you? J.D.
- [42:10]
B
Yeah. Thank you for asking and thank you for reading the book. So on social media, my handle is at Match Made in Hollywood across all platforms. So at Match Made in Hollywood and my website for. Yeah, thank you. My husband and I are match Made in Hollywood and I match people in Hollywood. My website is is LJ. So for my business partner, Lauren, myself, JD ljmatchmaking.com and then in terms of the book, it's anywhere that you want to pre order in terms of your favorite sellers, distributors. Just anywhere from the independent bookstores to Barnes and Noble and Amazon, Walmart, Target. Anywhere you buy your books, you can pre order a copy. It comes out, it will be on your doorstep. January 27th.
- [43:01]
A
Oh wow. January 7th. So I'm, I'm the lucky one.
- [43:04]
B
Spotty, but I'm the lucky one.
- [43:07]
A
I don't, I know. I don't know what's going on, but thank you so much for being kind of the lose. I'll definitely reach out to you. Maybe you're gonna find my, my forever for my last first date. My, my next husband. We'll see. And guys out there never give up.
- [43:19]
B
I would love.
- [43:21]
A
Thank you. I'm putting her links here. If you're listening to the audio episode. If you're on on YouTube watching the video episode, the links are right down here. So reach out to the. To JD either for dating, coaching. I'm sure we can all use that or, you know, who knows, if you're in the LA area, West Hollywood area, maybe you can find us, love. Thank you, jd. You're amazing. I really appreciate you guys. Be safe out there.
- [43:46]
Yeah. Thank you, my love. Can you hear me?
- [43:50]
B
Was the connection okay at the end?
- [43:52]
A
Yeah, it was fine. It was fine for me. Like, just one little chunk. You disappeared for. For a minute. I'm gonna see if we can fix it, but it was okay.
- [44:01]
B
Okay, great. I didn't even ask you. Do you. Do you edit? Do you play it live? How do you typically.
- [44:07]
A
Yeah, so, no, it's probably scheduled. I'm not sure if it's next week or the following week. We drop new episodes every Wednesday, Wednesdays. I will send you all the links which we distribute the audio on our audio platforms, and we drop the video episode on YouTube. We promote it on all our social media platforms. But I will send you all the links as soon as we have everything.
- [44:30]
Okay?
- [44:31]
B
Okay, awesome. Can I take a quick.
- [44:35]
A
From.
- [44:35]
B
Yeah, can you hear me? Just for my own socials, could I do a little video?
- [44:39]
A
Of course.
- [44:41]
B
Okay, thanks. I'm gonna cover up the rest of my computer screen. So there we go.
- [44:54]
Thanks. If there's any. Anything that you want me to repost or anything like that, just let me know.
- [45:00]
A
Thank you.
- [45:01]
C
I appreciate it.
- [45:01]
B
What was the company, by the way? In Beverly Hills.
- [45:05]
A
Oh, my God. Yeah, so. But that's just between us. Okay?
- [45:09]
B
I can't hear you.
- [45:11]
A
Can you hear me?
- [45:14]
Can you hear me? Cat, I'm here.
- [45:19]
B
I couldn't. You cut out. I didn't. I didn't even hear it.
- [45:23]
A
Can you hear me?
- [45:26]
B
I still can't hear you.
- [45:28]
A
Oh, how weird.
- [45:40]
B
I wonder if I turn the video off, if that helps the connection.
- [46:24]
A
Sam.