KBKAST Episode 351 Deep Dive: Tammy Klotz | Leading with Empathy and Grace

Date: January 21, 2026
Host: KBI.Media (Chris)
Guest: Tammy Klotz, cybersecurity & IT executive, author of Leading with Empathy and Grace

Episode Overview

This episode explores the intersection of empathy and accountability in leadership, especially within cybersecurity. Tammy Klotz shares her philosophy on leading with intentional empathy, debunks myths about "soft skills" in tech, discusses the impact of technology on human interaction, and offers practical advice for nurturing trust and presence among teams.

Tammy provides insights from her career, discusses generational and cultural shifts, and emphasizes the criticality of self-care for both leaders and their teams in an era of increasing pace and digital distractions.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Empathy & Accountability: Partners, Not Adversaries

• Empathy is Intentional:
  • Empathy is about deliberately seeking to understand others before reacting or making decisions.

    “[Empathy] is very much about being intentional… listening and truly understand somebody else's perspective… before reacting or leading.” — Tammy (01:30)

• The Myth of Mutual Exclusivity:
  • Empathy and accountability are often mistakenly viewed as opposites, but Tammy argues they support and strengthen each other.

    “Empathy and accountability are partners, right? And if you use empathy effectively, that accountability is going to come home to you 100% of the time.” — Tammy (00:00; 08:11)

• Transparency in Difficult Times:
  • Openly acknowledging business realities (restructuring, financial difficulties) ensures people aren't surprised by tough decisions.

    “The trust, because of the empathy… allows that difficult conversation to go much more smoothly… They’re still not going to like it, but because of the trust… they’re not surprises.” — Tammy (10:37)

2. Technology's Double-Edged Sword: Connection vs. Presence

• Constant Connectivity Equals Distraction:
  • The omnipresence of mobile devices has fundamentally changed our ability to be truly present.

    “If you are not 100% fully present… you are doing that individual a disservice.” — Tammy (03:35)

• Technology's Impact on Generational Behavior:
  • The newer generation, accustomed to instant answers, may struggle with pausing and deep listening.

    “The ability to really pause and have to wait for something is foreign in some cases… while technology is good, it also will have negative impact.” — Tammy (05:55)

• Unreplaced Human Element:
  • Physical interaction and focused attention are critical, and nothing digital compares.

    “Human interaction cannot be replaced by a day full of Zoom or Teams calls.” — Tammy (27:30)

3. The Evolution of Corporate Values & Virtue Signaling

• Shifting Priorities:
  • There is increased focus on environmental and social responsibility, especially among younger generations, but financial performance remains paramount.

    “The financial performance of a company is definitely probably number one priority… But the acknowledgement that we are operating in a safe and responsible way… has become top of mind.” — Tammy (13:12)

• Authenticity vs. PR:
  • Tammy emphasizes the need for real accountability behind ESG initiatives, not just compliance for optics.

    “I struggle with, is it real?… We don’t want those [certifications] to become so diluted that people don’t trust or believe in them.” — Tammy (15:27)

4. Reframing 'Soft Skills' as Critical Skills

• The Harm of “Soft” Labeling:
  • Empathy is not “squishy” or non-essential—it’s vital to organizational resilience and cybersecurity.

    “Let’s not even have that conversation because soft implies squishy… empathy needs to be a critical skill.” — Tammy (17:23)

• Empathy in Cybersecurity Training:
  • Moving from fear-based “weakest link” narratives to an empowering view: people as the strongest line of defense.

    “Our human beings, our employees, need to be the strongest link in the program and protecting the organization.” — Tammy (17:23)

• The “Why” Drives Behavior:
  • People are more motivated when they understand reasons behind security protocols, especially when made personally relevant.

    “If you talk to them about it in their personal lives… there lies getting them to understand.” — Tammy (17:23)

5. Workplace Culture & The Cost of Absent Empathy

• What Happens Without Empathy:
  • Teams without empathy feel undervalued, psychological safety declines, and simple gratitude fades.

    “People don’t necessarily understand their value… simple things like saying thank you have gone by the wayside.” — Tammy (29:50)

• Building Trust Reduces Abuse:
  • Creating a foundation of trust reduces likelihood of taking advantage and fosters openness about challenges.

    “If you build the trust… the abuse of that trust is less likely to happen.” — Tammy (29:50)

6. Managing Intent and Genuine Care

• Genuine vs. Surface Empathy:
  • It’s not enough to ask people how they are—leaders need to listen and reflect genuinely.

    “If you’re going to take the time to say and ask somebody how they are, you need to take the time to listen.” — Tammy (32:51)

• Practical Steps:
  • Tammy always ends 1:1s asking:

    “What do you need from me? Is there anything I can do to help you be more successful? What’s in your way that I can help you remove?” (32:51)

7. Nurturing Leadership: Born or Made?

• Natural Leaders Exist, But Training Matters:
  • Some are natural leaders, others can be taught, and it’s vital not to force people into unwanted leadership.

    “There are people who are natural leaders… and there are people who can be taught to be great leaders as well.” — Tammy (37:28) “What is probably the most detrimental is when we force somebody who has no desire to be a leader into a leadership role, they’re most likely going to fail.” — Tammy (37:28)

8. Intentional Human Connection in a Hybrid World

• Intentional Interactions are Critical:
  • Make office time count; use in-person opportunities for real connection, not just more Zoom calls from the office.

    “If I drive an hour to the office and then I sit in my office on Teams calls… why did I spend an hour in the car?” — Tammy (27:30)

• Creative Team Bonding:
  • Tammy uses "Friday Fun"—a weekly, non-work call—to maintain camaraderie with a distributed team.

    “Every Friday we have a half hour call called Friday Fun. The only rule is that you cannot talk about work… It’s about building camaraderie… if we don’t make time for that, it doesn’t happen in today’s world.” — Tammy (28:26)

9. Self-Care as Foundational Leadership

• Oxygen Mask Rule for Leaders:
  • Leaders must take care of themselves first to be present and effective for others.

    “If we are not taking care of ourselves, we cannot take care of anybody else… You need to put on your oxygen mask first before you can take care of anybody else.” — Tammy (39:17)

• Modeling Self-Care:
  • Pausing during the day, setting boundaries, and modeling this behavior inspires teams to do the same.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Empathy & Accountability:

  “Empathy and accountability are partners… If you use empathy effectively, that accountability is going to come home to you 100% of the time.”
  — Tammy (00:00; 08:11)

• On Technology & Presence:

  “If you are not 100% fully present in that conversation, you are doing that individual a disservice.”
  — Tammy (03:35)

• On the Human Element in Security:

  “Our human beings, our employees, need to be the strongest link in the program and protecting the organization.”
  — Tammy (17:23)

• On Self-Care:

  “If we are not taking care of ourselves, we cannot take care of anybody else.”
  — Tammy (39:17)

• On the “Why” in Security:

  “If I don’t understand why, I’m less likely to want to do something.”
  — Chris (22:46)

• On Intentionality:

  “Being a leader is honestly no different… If you have somebody who’s going to be a forklift driver and you’ve never taught them how to operate the forklift, they’re probably going to fail.”
  — Tammy (35:25)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote Highlight | |-----------|----------------------| | 00:00 | Empathy & Accountability defined as partners | | 01:30 | Empathy as intentional understanding | | 03:35 | Presence in digital age, distracted leadership | | 05:55 | Technology’s impact on attention/connection | | 08:11 | Empathy/accountability coexist, transparency | | 10:37 | Transparency in difficult business times | | 13:12 | Evolution of corporate values (environment, profit) | | 15:27 | Virtue signaling, authenticity & accountability | | 17:23 | Soft skills as critical skills, training examples | | 22:46 | Importance of explaining the “why” in security | | 27:30 | Intentional human connection in hybrid work | | 29:50 | Effects of absent empathy on team morale | | 32:51 | The importance of genuine listening & support | | 35:25 | Training new leaders, analogies to technical skills | | 37:28 | Born vs. made leaders, fitting roles to people | | 39:17 | Self-care as central to leadership effectiveness |

Final Advice and Closing Thoughts

• Empathy is a daily, intentional practice—critical for trust, accountability, and effective leadership.
• Get deliberate about presence: Put distractions aside, especially when leading diverse or remote teams.
• Empathy isn’t just “nice”—it’s business-critical, especially in cybersecurity.
• Model and permit self-care for you and your teams to sustain performance in a fast-paced world.
• Build genuine, not performative, relationships: Regularly check your intent and attention.
• Leaders can be made: Provide the training and support new leaders need—don’t expect everyone to be a natural.

This episode delivers actionable wisdom for leaders in any sector, making the case that in a tech-driven, hyperconnected world, what matters most remains deeply human.