Comedian Molly Kearney builds a Golden Record full of the things the aliens could never dream of. What will they think of an animated film in which all of the characters are humanoid dogs, some of which are insanely hot? Sure, they could imagine a car, but what about a minivan with the door falling off and all the back benches removed, blaring the best piano rock tunes of the last fifty years? Do they have geode caverns on their planet? Probably not. A hug from Molly's mom? Not in their galaxy.

There is also a lot of talk about pants-shitting and death-by-toilet. It is simultaneously our blessing and curse as a species.

Molly's Artifacts

A Goofy Movie (audio-visual)
Not knowing your favorite chicken patty is vegetarian (multisensory experience)
Driving in Molly's Ford Windstar with no back benches, sliding door falling off, and an Elton John Greatest Hits cassette stuck in player (multisensory experience)
Crystal Cave in Put-in-Bay, Ohio (geologic formation)
The bond between restaurant staff (human behavior)
Hug from Mom (multisensory experience)
The chewed up baseball from The Sandlot (human ephemera)
A personal pedicab ride from Molly (human experience)

Original Voyager Artifact

"Tame Dog" (audio)

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