Kermode on Film – "More Like Eyes Wide Sh*t" (April 7, 2026)

Overview

In this episode of “Kermode on Film,” Mark Kermode and regular guest Jack Howard dive into Stanley Kubrick’s final film, Eyes Wide Shut (1999). Sparked by Jack's suggestion, they candidly review the film’s legacy, their initial reactions, and the swirl of conspiracy theories that surround it. Mark reveals his infamous original review, and both share personal histories with Kubrick's work, all while dissecting the film’s narrative, themes, and enduring reputation for edginess (or lack thereof). The conversation is marked by brutal honesty, deadpan humor, and a deconstruction of cinema myth-making.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Initial Takes and Personal Histories

• Opening Banter/Reviews

  • Jack kicks off with his girlfriend’s (Ailey Fraser) concise take:

    “The ramblings of an old man who wants to open up his marriage six months before he dies.”
    (Jack Howard, 01:15)

  • Mark follows with his own actual 1999 review:

    “The inane ramblings of an old man who needed to get out more.”
    (Mark Kermode, 01:27)

  • Both agree: their initial impressions were dismissive and unimpressed.

• Kubrick in Their Lives

  • Mark shares his journey discovering Kubrick, starting with 2001: A Space Odyssey as a child:

    “I become completely obsessed with the idea of Stanley Kubrick.”
    (Mark Kermode, 05:08)

  • He describes seeing Kubrick’s films across the years, unable to see A Clockwork Orange in the UK due to Kubrick’s own ban.

Eyes Wide Shut in Context

• Kubrick’s Filmography & Mythology
  Mark explains Kubrick’s slow, perfectionist filmmaking process and aura, touching on infamous distribution idiosyncrasies (A Clockwork Orange ban, recuts, etc.) and how these contribute to the lore surrounding Eyes Wide Shut.

• First Encounter with Eyes Wide Shut

  • Mark saw it in New York on release, primed by a friend’s jibe:

    "Oh, eyes Wide shit."
    (Mark Kermode quoting a friend, 09:16)

  • He thought it was “an absolute car crash of a film.”
    (Mark Kermode, 09:45)

The Plot Recap (For the Uninitiated)

• Jack’s Synopsis (13:22–16:01)
  • Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman play a married couple. She confesses to fantasizing about another man, shattering Cruise’s character. He then embarks on a night wandering through New York, engaging in failed or half-hearted sexual dalliances, ultimately infiltrating a secret masked orgy—and is swiftly ejected. Most of the film, post-orgy, involves Cruise’s character wandering and talking to various people, slowly uncovering the supposed “mystery.”
  • Nicole Kidman’s climactic line sums up their whole ordeal (with Mark's paraphrase):

    “There’s one more thing that we should do.”
    “What’s that?”
    “Fuck.”
    (Mark Kermode & Jack Howard, 18:49)

The “Edgy” Reputation & Reception

• Is It Really That Shocking?
  • Jack: “You still think of Eyes Wide Shut as this weird edgy film. And then you get to the part... is Stanley Kubrick’s idea of edgy just people having quite normal sex, many of them with their pants on, with masks on?”
    (Jack Howard, 15:45)
  • Mark: “I thought this is an absolute car crash of a film.”
    (Mark Kermode, 09:45)
  • Both question the reality of the film’s notorious status, given the sexual content is very tame by today’s standards.

Conspiracy Theories & Film Mythology

• Jack introduces the idea of wild internet theories:

  • Some believe the movie hints at elite pedophile rings and that Kubrick was murdered for exposing this (and that “the missing 25 minutes” would reveal all).

    “People believe that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman have agreed to sell their daughter to this society...”
    (Jack Howard, 19:37)

  • Mark, with typical dry humor, quips:

    "Absolute nonsense. Anyone who believes that sort of thing needs to get help."
    (Mark Kermode, 20:47)

• Kubrick’s Mystique Feeds Conspiracies

  • Mark references Room 237 (about The Shining) where every symbol is interpreted as deep code, noting Kubrick's precise style invites over-reading:

    “It makes you look for patterns.”
    (Mark Kermode, 21:28)

  • Yet Kubrick's films are messy and often re-edited after release—undercutting the perfectionist myth that fuels these theories.

Completion, Authorship, and Artistic Constraints

• Was Eyes Wide Shut Finished?

  • Mark: Multiple narratives exist about whether Kubrick completed the film before his death, but asserts what audiences saw was “close enough” to his vision. The myth that studio edits destroyed a masterpiece is “deluding yourself.”
    (Mark Kermode, 24:09)
  • On artistic freedom:

    “The best art is made when you are constrained. And the worst art happens when you say you can do whatever you want for as long as you want...”
    (Mark Kermode, 24:30)

• Production Anecdotes

  • Mark relays a story of a cinematographer declining to work without a script and later feeling he “dodged a bullet” given the film’s endless shoot.
  • Rumor of Kubrick putting the cinematographer on roller skates for the masked ball scene—evidence of possibly excessive experimentation (25:38).

Humor and Tone—or Lack Thereof

• No Sense of Humor?
  • Mark:

    “I think the worst thing about Eyes Wide Shut is that it’s silly and it has no sense of humor.”
    (Mark Kermode, 26:19)

  • Even in bleak Kubrick films like Dr. Strangelove and A Clockwork Orange, the humor is biting and present. Here, it’s absent to the film’s detriment.
  • Jack agrees, but admits a few awkward laughs at out-of-place moments, highlighting tonal inconsistency (27:23).

Final Assessment (This Episode)

• The hosts both maintain that despite the reverence surrounding it, Eyes Wide Shut is not a secret masterpiece. Its themes are unoriginal, its execution is ponderous, and its “edginess” is more reputation than reality.
  • Jack: “What else are you doing? Nowhere. Are we going with that? Are we going anywhere with this?” (28:59)
• The critical dissection is to be continued in their next episode, leaving listeners with a cliffhanger:

  “Having decided that Eyes Wide Shut is not the masterpiece... why isn’t it?”
  (Mark Kermode, 29:17)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Comparing Notes with Partners

  • “That is literally what my review of it said.” (Mark Kermode, 01:27)

• On Kubrick’s Mythic Aura

  • “I become completely obsessed with the idea of Stanley Kubrick.” (Mark Kermode, 05:08)

• On the “Mystery” of the Film

  • “Tom Cruise walks around... has inconsequential conversations with people, and that happens for ages.” (Jack Howard, 17:13)

• On Internet Conspiracies

  • “According to the Internet that brought us QAnon, the moon landings were faked, and there’s no such thing as Covid... tell us what else is going on in that scene.”
    (Mark Kermode, 19:23)
  • “Absolute nonsense. Anyone who believes that sort of thing needs to get help.” (Mark Kermode, 20:47)

• On Watching the Film Again

  • “This is two hours I’m not getting back.” (Mark Kermode, 25:57)
  • “2 hours and 40 minutes.” (Jack Howard, 26:18)

• On Humor in Kubrick

  • “One of the things about Barry Lyndon that I didn’t realize... is how funny it is. There are really funny jokes in Barry Lyndon, obviously. Dr. Strangelove is one of the funniest films I’ve ever seen.” (Mark Kermode, 26:55)

Timestamps of Important Segments

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:32 | Mark & Jack intro; Ailey’s and Mark’s original reviews | | 02:30 | Mark’s background as a Kubrick fan; first seeing 2001 | | 06:55 | Clockwork Orange's UK ban and Kubrick's reputation | | 09:16 | Mark’s first viewing of Eyes Wide Shut and initial reaction | | 13:22 | Jack summarizes Eyes Wide Shut plot for new or forgetful listeners | | 15:21 | The “edginess” of Eyes Wide Shut — is it earned? | | 18:49 | Discussion of the film's ending and Kidman's final line | | 19:23 | Internet conspiracy theories (Kubrick, elites, “missing 25 minutes”) | | 21:28 | How Kubrick’s precision invites over-interpretation | | 24:30 | Kermode on films made without constraints vs. with them | | 25:38 | Production anecdotes (roller skates, endless experiment) | | 26:19 | “It’s silly and it has no sense of humor…”; Kubrick’s previous humor | | 28:59 | Jack: “Are we going anywhere with this?” (film’s lack of thematic payoff) | | 29:17 | Cliffhanger: Next episode promised on why the film fails as a masterpiece |

Tone and Language

• The discussion is laced with dry British wit, skepticism, and self-deprecating humor. Both hosts are candid and irreverent, poking fun at Kubrick’s mythic status and internet conspiracies surrounding the film. Their affection for cinema history and critical rigor is clear, even as they gleefully debunk the film’s supposed brilliance.

Next Episode Preview:
The hosts promise to continue their deep dive, further unpicking why Eyes Wide Shut falls short of greatness, and investigating where it went wrong, both thematically and cinematically.

For further discussion or to share your own take, Mark and Jack encourage listener feedback (29:41).