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Kevin Clancy
Hey, KFC Radio listeners. You can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Okay, last week, this, this studio has never been the cleanest, but we got certain thresholds, certain lines we can't really cross.
John Feitelberg
Look at him just giggling in the corner.
Dana Beers
I hate sitting in this seat, by the way.
Kevin Clancy
You're so far away. It's like the teachers and you're like in a. You know what I mean?
Dana Beers
And just like the way I have to turn to see you guys. So to clear, we have Dana coming on the show in a minute.
Kevin Clancy
We got to take care of some in house business first.
Dana Beers
When we have a fourth person. I like to sit over here so it doesn't cut the guest out of the conversations, but sitting over here, the only way to be comfortable is like, I look so casual and I hate looking like this, but like, it's gotta.
Kevin Clancy
Be professional over here.
Dana Beers
The banana guy, like, like sitting like this doesn't make any sense. I have to sit like this and I just end up like slouching. And it's just like this kid in the back of the class like, what do you guys want?
Kevin Clancy
Well, it fits the. It fits for right now.
John Feitelberg
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dana Beers
No, I don't want to do anything. Physical labor.
Kevin Clancy
But, but last week I find behind the couch over there in the corner what has to be like a two month old banana. It was so old and rotten. It like fossilized. It like calcified. Like it wasn't gooey and wet and stinky. It became like a rock to the point that I didn't even know if it was real. I thought it was like a prop or something, but I was like, why would there be a prop of a completely shrunken rat? Rotten banana.
John Feitelberg
It was like also. Yeah, like shrunken. Like when you put like the shrinky dink or whatever things in the oven.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. I mean like if a normal banana is like this big, it was like a fraction of the size.
Dana Beers
Okay.
Kevin Clancy
And it was totally brown. And I, and I bring it over to Jackie and I was like, what is this? Like, what is going on here? And she was like, that's disgusting. It was like, it was like, you know, there's the spills from on the floor and like it's obviously not clean, but whatever. That's all just like part of like, you know, normal business. This was like we got rotten produce floating around and I threw it at her face. I hit her with it. But it really. I, I was like, this isn't even that gross because it's just become, like wood. It was like a wooden, rotten banana. And just now, Jackie, what'd you say? You said something like, what did we do with the banana? And. And John just laughed. He's like, yeah, I left that banana back there.
John Feitelberg
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
What the, man? You're just leaving rotten bananas around now?
Dana Beers
So all you just said. I. I say I love it when a plan comes together. Because, yeah, I left it back there a couple months ago.
Kevin Clancy
Was it legit? A couple months? It's got. It was a while.
Dana Beers
I don't remember exactly, but it's gotta be a long. Been a while.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
And I forgot about it forever. And then probably a couple weeks ago, I saw it and I was like, oh, fuck. Forgot about that banana. And then I wanted to touch it, and it was all gooey and gross.
Kevin Clancy
Oh, okay.
Dana Beers
And my brain went, just leave it. It'll be fine. It'll get hard. And I left it. And it got hard, plain. It was easy to dispose of.
John Feitelberg
Okay.
Kevin Clancy
I would not have liked to pick it up if it was all gooey and shit. One would argue maybe that the person who left it there should pick it up. But if someone else has to clean it up months later, I would prefer it to be calcified. And no chance.
John Feitelberg
You just knew it was gonna, like, calcify?
Dana Beers
I didn't know. I didn't know, but I took a guess. I took a risk.
John Feitelberg
Sometimes you gotta take a risk in life.
Dana Beers
I had no idea what was gonna happen. I could have become, like, a sentient being, but I.
Kevin Clancy
You left it there. What does that mean? Like, leaving it for later? Or did you drop it and couldn't reach it? Did.
Dana Beers
I think I just. I just. I grabbed it and then I was like, I'm not gonna eat this on the show. That was next.
Jackie
Because if.
Kevin Clancy
It was, like, under the table or something, like, if. But that. It's back there, you have to, like, put it back.
Dana Beers
Like, when you're sitting in that seat that looks like a perfectly acceptable place to put something down, you forget about it.
Kevin Clancy
Something maybe like a bottle of water. I don't know about, you know, perishable produce, but okay.
Dana Beers
Yeah, it was like. It was definitely weeks later, and I was just kind of, like, doing the show and turned. I was like, that's my banana, bro.
Kevin Clancy
To the point, if it made any sense at all, that there would be, like, a. A rotten banana prop. That's what it became. It felt like rubber. It was not like.
Dana Beers
It felt like rubber yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Like, it was not like a banana at all. That's why I was like, I don't even know if this is real, but why would there be a fake one?
John Feitelberg
Like, for the bit.
Dana Beers
No, no, no, no.
Kevin Clancy
He's just disgusting. Like, what did he say last week when he just kind of like, you know, I know what I am to people.
Jackie
Yeah.
Dana Beers
I'm a garbage. I'm texting D. Dana's texting.
Kevin Clancy
But you, like, you are not. You did not dispose of the garbage. You just. But you just are the garbage.
John Feitelberg
And God forbid there's a coffee stain and everyone points fingers at me.
Dana Beers
First of all, I never get worked up about stains. Second of all, I did intend to get it back. I was like, I'll handle the intent was there. I'll handle that in a couple.
Kevin Clancy
You were brazenly like, someone else clean up my banana. It was like, I will clean up my own banana in two months time.
Dana Beers
I was like, look, no one sits here. No one else.
Kevin Clancy
This is only going to be my problem.
Dana Beers
Has ever seen this banana all handle this?
John Feitelberg
That's where it gets.
Kevin Clancy
Did you see it at its, like, worst? Like, did you see what it was?
Dana Beers
I haven't seen it.
Kevin Clancy
Let me see if I can find it. I got a lot of shit. My camera roll. But I. Yeah, I mean, bro, this is crazy.
Dana Beers
That's exactly what I expected to happen.
Kevin Clancy
Nailed it. Fucking nailed it. I thought I filmed me throwing it at your face. I guess I didn't.
John Feitelberg
No.
Dana Beers
Drats.
Kevin Clancy
That was just. I wasn't for content. That was just for the love of the game. It was just for the love of torturing Jackie.
John Feitelberg
Yeah. For the record, don't do that.
Kevin Clancy
I, I saw. I didn't. Again, didn't get a chance to watch yesterday's episode, but I did get a message about it. I, I figured. And I saw that you guys covered the gorilla versus 100 men.
Dana Beers
Yes. Which also I, I actually though I thought I was saying a thousand the whole time. I thought it was a girl versus 100 grovers. One hundreds harder. Yes. Again, still no brainer. If 100 men commit to the cause, it doesn't matter. I don't care what hundred it is. You can be 100. Barcelona Pitman. We win.
John Feitelberg
Well, we actually came out with a foolproof plan.
Kevin Clancy
Oh, yeah. Okay.
John Feitelberg
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Well, I, I, the only reason I bring it up, I don't want to rehash it again if everybody already talked about it, but I got a DM from somebody talking about talking about it, and they said it was A very nice DM said, I've been listening to your show since the beginning. I was a Preem team member, but today took my breath away. Jackie saying she would, quote, tease the esophagus of a gorilla is one of the most degenerate things I've ever heard. Takes the place of the chick whose boyfriend can catch his. Come and run away with it. Love the show, hope it goes on forever. Jackie is a complete accidental lunatic and it's incredible. Oh, well, I didn't even, I didn't, I just told that guy, I said I didn't get a chance to listen yet today, but I, I, I can't even. What does tease the esophagus even mean?
John Feitelberg
Well, okay, that's taken a little out of context, but it's exactly. Okay, I'll just tell you the foolproof plan. Gorilla, gorilla comes in, okay. Fights. It's on tabletop duty. And he tabletops the gorilla. Gorilla's on the floor. I go, nice, step on his neck. And they were saying like, they were like, okay, stepping on his neck like he's gonna rip your fucking leg off. But that's the whole point of stepping on a neck is like sacrifice. Is your, your, your foot. No, you don't sacrifice. Your foot is on their esophagus. And so if they move an inch, you're teething the esophagus and you're saying, I'm gonna crunch this motherfucker if you move another inch. So I like, was it a. Oh, come on.
Kevin Clancy
Come on down.
John Feitelberg
Was it a weirdly kinky way to phrase it?
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, well, I thought something sexual was going on and I was like, what?
Jackie
How you doing?
Kevin Clancy
How are you?
Dana Beers
Hey, how you doing?
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Kevin Clancy
You ever feel weird that like the guys do that and then when you.
Jackie
Do the girls, I was going to do that.
Kevin Clancy
I don't know, like, you know, you can't really dab up the girls, but you also don't want to like, hug them. It's a whole thing. So I just end up like, hey, hello. But then I feel like, you know. Yeah, we're just leaving you out. Yeah. Anyway, do you think you can beat up a gorilla?
Jackie
Beat up?
Kevin Clancy
You kind of are a gorilla.
Jackie
Oh no. Are we talking about the hundred guys thing?
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think we could do it.
Dana Beers
I, I, it's, it's a no brainer.
Kevin Clancy
It's definitely not a no brainer. It would take a miracle.
Dana Beers
I'll put together a team of 10. We win.
Jackie
You just have to break his neck.
Kevin Clancy
But, but I just, I mean, I don't think, I think people really underestimate how like thick their skin and not.
Dana Beers
That, not that thick.
Jackie
We just, we just need some thick dudes.
Kevin Clancy
I, I mean, honestly, when you say, I'll put together a team of Barcelona guys, like, it's a negative. I almost think like, we gotta, we got people in fat pens. Like we got, but it'll be like.
Dana Beers
On them it'll be, I'll, I'll put together a team of 15.
John Feitelberg
Wait, where was this energy last time we were talking about?
Dana Beers
You were like, my energy has completely changed because I read a breakdown of the, from a, not a paleontologist, but like animal guy. Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Well, I will say this. When, when these things go viral, there's a little piece of me that gets a little mad because I mean, this is doing like bonkers views. Right? And we just did this for like five straight years in case every variation of animal and fighting and, and this versus that and like, and we did fine, but we were not doing like 180 million views. So part of me is like, what the, should we just re release all these things until these all go viral? But I will say that the energy nowadays, and maybe it's just because more people are on social media and more people like doctors are using it and scientists are using it and that like, we used to just be like, oh no, gorillas are big and men are small. And now people are like breaking it down using AI and simulations and information. And it's like, I would have liked to know this, you know, in 2012.
Jackie
When we're doing it.
Dana Beers
Yeah, the, the guy I, I broke down said, if, if a chimpanzee could be the size of a gorilla, chimpanzee is going to give you because they're.
Kevin Clancy
More like ferocious, it's going to be a whole.
Jackie
I've seen. I've think Marty and Eddie did a documentary on a chimpanzee. Like.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
Ripping a lady's face off.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Jackie
And that's changed my view on chimpanzees forever. But I thought they were a little cute guys.
Kevin Clancy
No. Yeah. Yeah. But. Well, that's the thing that people keep them as pets because they, like, kind of present that way. And then eventually. Eventually the monkey is gonna. Monkey.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Like right now it's like, oh, it can, like, paint and it can, like, do sign language, and eventually it's gonna be like.
John Feitelberg
But I feel people are underestimating the effectiveness of a dog pile.
Kevin Clancy
100 people's a lot from.
Dana Beers
From again, what I've read.
Kevin Clancy
I just. The first. Like, 15 are dead.
Dana Beers
No.
Kevin Clancy
Yes.
Dana Beers
I mean, again, I'm just talking about what the gorilla scientist said.
Kevin Clancy
What was it saying? That gorillas are, like, docile. But I think once a hundred people are attacking them, it's gonna go bonkers. Right.
Dana Beers
It's. So the whole thing was. Again, you have to obviously assume that the gorilla has a bloodlust because.
Kevin Clancy
Yes.
Dana Beers
What he would do.
Kevin Clancy
That was my point about humans, too. If the humans are like. Like, I. If I see someone get their arms and legs ripped off, I'm out. I'm running.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
So you have to. Other guys have to keep going.
Dana Beers
Like, everyone's got to be committed to the cause.
Jackie
Yeah.
Dana Beers
It's got to be the gorillas. Again, if we're agreeing to what the stipulations of the fight are, let's just assume we're making that agreement. The gorilla will. It'll. It'll rip a person or two, but it won't. Basically, the whole thing was like, gorillas are human. They're just. They're just humans, and they're stronger than us, but they're only about four times stronger than us.
Kevin Clancy
So 100 is just more of a It.
Dana Beers
Like, they're like.
Kevin Clancy
So you're saying that, like, four is the limit.
Dana Beers
It.
Kevin Clancy
It for like, four humans. Like, four to one is, like, an even fight.
Dana Beers
The. I mean, I'm sure that's all like. I don't know how it all translates, but a girl is about four times stronger than a man.
Kevin Clancy
I say, like, give you. And this, you know, the booze, ponies versus the gorilla. Because I would say the three of you are equal to, like, four regular. Like.
Dana Beers
Right.
Kevin Clancy
You know what I mean?
Jackie
Some. Some youtubers gonna do this.
Kevin Clancy
Mr. Beast is gonna lock a homeless guy, 99 friends in a room with a Gorilla.
Jackie
Somebody that has, like, I don't know, 100 subscribers is gonna find a gorilla and actually do this. I watch it, I don't know somewhere. I watch foreign countries.
Kevin Clancy
If there was. If there was someone that was like, get me to a million subscribers and I'll fight a gorilla with my friends overnight over night.
Dana Beers
Yeah, the black. It was like. It's also like, they have denser muscle than us, but our. Again, we're cousins. Like, our soft spots are still their soft spots. And it was like, he's not going to like getting punched in the ribs a couple times. He's not going to like getting punched in the face a few times. Like, he will. And also, they do not have good stamina like humans.
Kevin Clancy
He's like, they would run out of gas.
Jackie
I think people.
Kevin Clancy
What are we doing to kill it?
Jackie
I think people just think it's actually Donkey Kong. Like.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
I think people actually think that they will.
John Feitelberg
Yeah.
Jackie
Do the Donkey Kong moves of like taking two humans and doing this. They're not doing gorillas not doing that, I don't think.
Kevin Clancy
But like, what, are we breaking its neck? Are we gouging out its eyes?
Dana Beers
I think, like, it'll get. Once he gets tired, you can strangle it.
Jackie
I'm just imagining fights on his back and giving him a chokehold.
Kevin Clancy
I'll give you a fourth. Booze ponies. Plus YP is probably giving a fucking.
Jackie
A gorilla a run squad.
Kevin Clancy
And maybe Nate going to rip off.
Dana Beers
He's going to rip people in half.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
It's just, you got to be committed to the cause.
Jackie
I'm a giant. I would. I would run away pretty quick.
Dana Beers
I also think I would wait till.
Kevin Clancy
Ryan clark on espn. His take was like, no, he's not beating 100 men. He's beating 99. And then he's got to find me because I'm gone.
Jackie
I'm hiding in the woods.
Kevin Clancy
But, man, when I see those things, I'm like, I got. I got these for days. We got these on deck.
Dana Beers
Dude.
Kevin Clancy
If this is what the Internet wants, we got everybody.
Jackie
Wasn't. What was the one you guys talked about, like, beating someone in a swim race or something? Didn't Big cat say something like that?
Kevin Clancy
Big cat said that he. He's a great short term, short distance swimmer. So he was saying, yeah, and like, if it was just like from here to the wall, he would be Phelps. Yeah. Then the. The really big one was the polar bear versus a shark in a Olympic swimming pool.
Jackie
Didn't you have a microwave one too?
Kevin Clancy
Put the mic Baby in a microwave. That was the question was for $10,000. And at that time, you know, nobody had money. So that's big money now. Now we probably have to up that a little bit. But $10,000, you put a baby in a microwave for two seconds, and I believe Dan's answer or your answer, somebody said, I think it was yours. Said, how many times can we do? Wasn't yes or no. It was can I do it?
Dana Beers
Like, seconds.
Kevin Clancy
So, I mean, really, you know, when you put it in, when you put some, like, 1, 2.
Dana Beers
Still frozen.
John Feitelberg
What's even like the, the hold up with that?
Kevin Clancy
Just the.
Jackie
You don't want to put microwave again.
Kevin Clancy
I think according to some scientists, they said that, you know, even like one second of microwave waves will zap your brain. Like. Yeah, like, that's not good for Jackie. That's the catch here. It's not good for the baby.
Jackie
I can see, like, that hypothetical coming back and being like, on Twitter.
Kevin Clancy
That's what I mean. I'm like, I, I, I don't want I force these things. But we, we got endless, like, literally years and years of these things. But anyway, you, you actually kind of, kind of do as well. Like if you go into your archive, like mixtape archives.
Jackie
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Clancy
They're like, every time you say something like silly or funny, like, particularly with the. Do you guys have a name for the D. You and, and, and, And Francis show?
Jackie
Dana learns. We named it like 25 episodes.
Dana Beers
Yeah, okay. I just call it like the Dana and Francis thing.
Kevin Clancy
But every time you say something ridiculous, the Die Hards will be like, this is funny. But like, this isn't even touching nothing. 2015 mixtape or whatever Marty used to go on there.
Jackie
I think Marty said seven people died in World War II.
Kevin Clancy
Seven.
Jackie
There's a clip somewhere. Like, Coley asked him, Marty. He's like, ah, seven. And pause and Tyler goes, seven. It's so good, dude.
Kevin Clancy
There's. There's just something so beautiful about. I don't know where there's so few people on the Internet that will just kind of be openly, like, stupid.
Jackie
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Clancy
But then, like, cop to it and just be like, I don't know, like, everybody digs their heels in and argues or tries to justify. No, what I meant was seven. It's just like, no, I was dumb and I thought some people died.
Jackie
Yeah, I'll have, I'll have, like, my friends come up to me now, like when I see him and be like, dude, you're not that dumb.
Dana Beers
We're all incredibly dumb. We all Know about, like, four things.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
Best of person knows four things. Dana knows.
Jackie
I know what I know.
Dana Beers
He knows what he knows.
Jackie
He's a goddamn. He's like, I. You don't know. I'm like, I like to know about basketball. I don't like to know about, like, he taught me about sweating. I don't need to know about that. I don't care how I sweat or why I sweat. I'd like to know basketball.
Kevin Clancy
Whenever we get into, like, debates here about, like, are we living in a simulation or, like, is there God or whatever? Like, John's like, I don't want to know. Don't care.
Jackie
Just. We talked about the solar system the other day. Like, how. Well, don't get me started. How is this. How is a planet just a perfect circle?
John Feitelberg
Yeah.
Jackie
Every planet. How are they?
Kevin Clancy
I think that's like gravity in orbits, right?
Jackie
No, but like that. Who created that perfect circle?
John Feitelberg
The water's all staying in, like a perfect circle.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
The water not dripping out, always gets.
Dana Beers
They're not perfect circles.
Jackie
Yes, they are.
Dana Beers
Well, they look like it from hundreds of thousands of miles away.
Jackie
Yeah, exactly.
Dana Beers
But, like, the Earth isn't a perfect circle. There's mountains and.
Jackie
Yeah, well, that's questionable. It's debatable.
Kevin Clancy
Mountains are debatable. Mountains exist.
Jackie
Mountains are debatable.
Kevin Clancy
Here's something I didn't. I. I don't think you guys would know. I. I heard, like, you know, I saw someone who didn't know this the other day, and I thought, Marty and Dana probably don't know this. You know that islands like. Like the. The underneath islands go, like, all the way to the bottom. Like, they're not floating to the sea. Yeah.
Jackie
Like to the bottom of the sea.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
What do you mean?
Kevin Clancy
Like, an island isn't just like a floating piece of land. It's like a.
Jackie
Like a Sand goes all the way down.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. Like the ground will go all.
Jackie
It's basically considered that.
Kevin Clancy
It's basically a mountain that is peeking out of the water.
Jackie
Where does the sand go to?
Kevin Clancy
Like the. The crust or whatever. Yeah.
Jackie
I've never thought about that.
Kevin Clancy
I saw that, and I was like, I know two guys who wouldn't understand that. Maybe Marty would because of his walls thing.
Jackie
Marty doesn't know anything.
Dana Beers
No, I've made that argument to Marty a million times. Like, the walls exist. They're the Earth.
Jackie
The thing I. The. The one thing I will never give to Marty is he thinks he's smarter than me, and he's just not. We took an IQ test once he beat me, but it was like. It was like, what's the. What's the size? What, triangles? I don't even know the questions.
Dana Beers
Like, yeah, sure, he won the smarter than you contest.
Kevin Clancy
Like, he's not a strong argument.
Jackie
I always tell him, like, this is mean, but I'm like, you have no skills. I have skills. I. I have technical skills to go edit a documentary. You can't do any. That sounds really mean, but I don't know.
Dana Beers
He can.
Kevin Clancy
Like, he's athletic. He's doing these athletic challenges.
Jackie
Well, I am too, though. So that's what I'm saying.
Kevin Clancy
Oh, I think you're more athletic than Marty.
Jackie
No. Yeah, that's. I'll give him that. He's way more athletic than me.
Kevin Clancy
So weird. But, like, even when he does the athletic things, he's, like, lanky and goofy. He doesn't look smooth, but he gets the job done.
Jackie
I know.
Dana Beers
It's like watching grog run around.
Kevin Clancy
You're like, yeah, I don't know how this works.
Dana Beers
Every time his legs are flailing this way and his arms are going that way.
Kevin Clancy
His feet are enormous compared to his body. I feel like he has a size 15 shoe.
Jackie
You know those two guys that used to play football? It's like, Lou Zoo or something. Don't even. I'm not gonna start. They're on Tick tock. It's these two, like, big black guys who used to play football, and they're hilarious. And they do, like, hypotheticals. No. Never heard of these guys. All right, well, I was gonna say they're like the black Me and Marty.
Kevin Clancy
That you guys need to, like, link up. Bizarro. Marty and Dana, the black guys.
Jackie
I don't even know their names, but Lou and Zoo are apparently bigger, one of them smaller. It's the exact same thing.
John Feitelberg
Were you good in school?
Jackie
I had a.2,3 GPA in college, but I didn't try. Like, I. I didn't really go to class. Like, I. I didn't really care about school.
Kevin Clancy
But where'd you go to school?
Jackie
Stone Hill College. D2. That's D1 now, actually.
Dana Beers
Is it?
Kevin Clancy
Hey. So now you can run around saying.
Jackie
I played as a D1 basketball manager. Yeah, I didn't really know. Like, I. I would say if I studied, I'd be good, but I just didn't care. Like, I would go to math class or whatever. I'd be like, I don't. What am I gonna use this? Francis hates when I say that. Like, he'll teach me something. I'll Just say, when am I gonna use this? Why do I care? Yeah, that's kind of.
Kevin Clancy
My math is a little bit like you kind of need something kinda. You don't need like calculus and. But you need to like do the tip and like pay your rent and like.
Jackie
Tip tips. Easy.
Dana Beers
But look, as a guy who doesn't know how to do math, I get by. All right, There's. It's basically a tip.
Jackie
Like.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, but like, you gotta like, you know, you're looking at like a schedule of what time it is. You got to know how much time you have. You know, like you.
Dana Beers
You do count time as math.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
Yeah, I guess it does.
Jackie
You should have seen me try definitively a. A cup and three quarters. Yesterday. I was trying to make food. I only had the 3/4 a cup. So I was trying to do the math of how many to do it. Would you know how to do that?
Dana Beers
I don't even know the question you're asking.
Jackie
I had to put a cup and 3/4 of water into a pan and I only had a 3/4 cup. So I had to figure out how many times I fill up the three quarters to make a cup and three quarters. I couldn't, I couldn't. It just way over.
Kevin Clancy
I mean, it's like literally with that hard challenge, it's like you got to have, you know, the four gallons. Three gallons. So when you fill up the three gallon three and a. See, you fill up. So you have three quarters of a cup.
Jackie
That's what I had available.
Kevin Clancy
And you need to get one and three quarters.
Jackie
Yes. How do you do that?
Kevin Clancy
So you pour.
Dana Beers
You pour like three quarters in one and a half cup.
Kevin Clancy
Two or three quarters is one and a half. Right.
Jackie
See?
Kevin Clancy
And then you got to get another quarter.
John Feitelberg
Wouldn't you just fill it up and then do a third of the.
Kevin Clancy
But that, the whole thing is it's got to be like exact. But like so like in. In Die Hard, it's a famous thing. But you have two things. So if you fill up the three and pour it into the four, that means you have exactly one empty. So you can fill up the three again. Pour that one in. You pour the. You know what I mean? Using that one empty space. Have you seen that movie? Do you know what I'm talking about?
Jackie
No, I have actually.
Kevin Clancy
Okay, so it's. You have a. Like a poland spring jug. It's four gallons and one. That's three gallons.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
And you have to get exactly two gallons. No, it's five and three. And you have to get four. Okay.
Jackie
Yep.
Kevin Clancy
So it has to be exact. You can't just, like, eyeball it.
Jackie
Just take one in. One?
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. Why don't you talk us through what you would do? So you would take.
Jackie
Take one out of five and one out of three.
Kevin Clancy
What does that mean, take one out?
Jackie
I don't know.
Kevin Clancy
So if you take the three and you pour it into the five.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Then fill up the three again. Okay. Pour the three into the five again.
Jackie
I don't like this.
Kevin Clancy
Listen. Just listen. You have so. So you have a three and a five. Then do the three, fill it up again, pour it into the five. That's two out of the three, Right? So you're now left with one gallon in the three gallons. Okay.
Dana Beers
Right.
Kevin Clancy
Empty the five totally out. Pour the one into the five. Fill up the three totally. Again. Pour that in. You now have three, plus one is four.
Dana Beers
All right, I get it. I get it. I'll forget it by tomorrow.
Kevin Clancy
But, yeah, I committed this to my. Like, this is like.
Jackie
No, that makes sense.
Dana Beers
But.
Kevin Clancy
So, but you didn't have it. You don't have a. Another thing to pour it into?
Jackie
Like, No, I just had a thing.
Kevin Clancy
So what did Dana, what did I just did my best Francis say to do?
Jackie
I didn't tell. I didn't tell this to Francis yet. I just did. This is my brain. Oh. I thought this was a challenge. Oh, you just did this in real life the other day? Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Oh, I don't know if there is a way to do it just like.
Jackie
Yeah, I just eyeballed it. Yeah, it was pissing me off. I had the instructions. I want to do the exact instructions.
John Feitelberg
I have a theory that, like, the actually dumb people are the ones who say, I'm not bookstart. I'm smart. I'm street smart.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, that's usually.
Dana Beers
I, I have a theory. I don't think I've ever met a dumb person. Well, that's not true. I've met a dumb person, but 99.9 people I don't think are dumb.
Kevin Clancy
This is like, how you think everyone's good too. I promise. I promise you, the world is filled with a bunch of dumb assholes.
Dana Beers
But, like, everyone's smart at something. Like.
Jackie
Yes.
Dana Beers
I haven't. I haven't met anyone who I've been Like, they don't have a single redeemable quality. You know? I mean, like, they got. They got something. They did.
Jackie
I don't know. There's some pretty dumb people there.
Dana Beers
Look, I, I, I, I misspoke to start it I, I don't mean that there's. That you.
Kevin Clancy
The people you come across with and interact with. You think.
Dana Beers
I think, like, like everyone here who gets called dumb, like, I'm one. You're one. I don't think you're dumb.
Kevin Clancy
Well, that's why I love the Boost Ponies. Like, we're dumb, but you guys are, like, smoking the competition.
Jackie
It's like, like, we know what we know.
Kevin Clancy
Right?
Dana Beers
I am. I want to be clear. I'm a dumb person, but I know about a few things.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
And I think.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, well, that's when you run into the difference of, like, intelligence versus, like, knowledge. You know what I mean? Memorization and knowing things is different than, like, if I gave you a math problem right now, could you, like, work through it and figure it out?
Jackie
So you asked, like, am I. Was I smart in school? Like, a good example is I didn't really try in my courses that I didn't care about, but I had a video production course, and I got an A. Smashed it. Yeah. Yeah, right. Doing that. That's is what my career was. And I got an A.
Kevin Clancy
Marketing genius.
Jackie
Exactly. I didn't get an A in anything else because I didn't really care. But if I'm, I'm sure if I had a passion for it and I wanted to know about it.
Kevin Clancy
Well, you think or maybe you just had a, A knack for.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
You know, it's like you, you, you're. You care about what you're good at. You know, like, oh, I don't care.
Jackie
About that math worksheet. I'm. I'm sure if I could figure it out. Oh, man.
Kevin Clancy
I'm doing math with my kids. Like, I can't do it.
Jackie
I love, I actually love math. Give me, Give me a math question.
Kevin Clancy
No, it's not even what we did math.
Dana Beers
We had math as our niche.
Jackie
It was pemdas.
Kevin Clancy
A lot of people don't get that. That's another thing that floats around the Internet these days. They'll be like, what's the answer to this question? And people are split on the answer. Yeah, Pemdas. And it's like, I'm a palm.
Jackie
Does guy love it?
Kevin Clancy
What's your favorite part of Pemdas?
Jackie
Probably when you get the parentheses done and you, like, multiply it or whatever. That's my favorite part.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
I feel I don't like exponents.
Kevin Clancy
Did you ever do was. It was pemdas for you? Because early. Before Pemdas, it was. Please excuse my dear Aunt Sad.
Jackie
That's Mine is.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, okay, yeah. You knew that one. I feel like it's kind of taken over.
Jackie
Francis had some stupid one. He told me, and it was like something about dying. I don't know. I hated it. It.
Dana Beers
It's.
Jackie
It's Sally. Sally is the answer.
Kevin Clancy
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Jackie
Nice.
Kevin Clancy
You're getting married. They are literally, as we speak, getting married. These people are engaged. This person's got a nice date. This person having a good time.
Jackie
It's like the. It's like barstool is evolving into, like. I don't know. We're just at a different phase.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, totally. I mean, if that wedding happens, you know, 10 years ago, it's like just a bunch of single animals. Like, I mean, it was still a show and a fun time, but it was just like, oh, everybody. I actually. I had a moment. I said this to the. On the car ride home. I had a moment. I sat across from Clemmer and his wife, and we were eating, and Kanye and Jay Z. Paris was playing, and both of them were singing along to that and appropriately so, saying any words they're not allowed to, but I just, like, they were. They were eating, so they were just like. Like, they weren't like, dancing. They were just, like, mouthing the words as they ate Clemmer and his wife. And I was just like, if you put a gun to my head and said, like, does clever his wife know the words to Paris?
Jackie
I would be like, no, they don't.
Kevin Clancy
Even know what that is. And they were just singing all the words. What's that jacket? Marcel. Wow. I did not know. I apologize. I was not familiar with your game.
Dana Beers
Clever.
Jackie
Incredible.
Kevin Clancy
But, yeah, you're. You're next up, right?
Jackie
I am.
Kevin Clancy
D day is when? A month.
Jackie
What's the date?
Kevin Clancy
You're looking trim, man.
Jackie
Thank you. That's the big o. What's working? 254 today.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, I was.
Jackie
And then I. I. For. There was a time period, like, over the summer where I was genuinely trying, like, trying to be funny and beat the drug.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
And, like, out eat it. And it worked. Now I'm like, all right, take it seriously. Like, let it do its thing. And it's worked. I'm down 18 pounds.
Dana Beers
I just love. I just love the idea that, like, you're like, I'm gonna get on this fat loss joke, but I'm gonna show it who's boss.
Jackie
Okay.
Kevin Clancy
It's like beating the gorilla. They said it couldn't be done.
Dana Beers
When I started prescribing this medicine, I'm gonna prove to him it doesn't work.
Jackie
When I first got on it, I lost, like, 20 pounds instantly. And it was like, I was good. I was chilling. And then, like, I said, I was like, I just want to be funny. I want to, like. I want to gain weight on Ozempic. And it happened.
John Feitelberg
Was it easy or was it hard?
Jackie
It was pretty hard. Like, you get. You get really full, but you got to power through because, you know, it's all mental.
Kevin Clancy
It's like, I know there's room in there. I mean. Well, I've always heard that, like, you just don't have an appetite. Did you have an appetite or you just. We're like, I'm gonna keep eating.
Jackie
My body got, like, conditioned to like, whatever I was doing of just, like, powering past the hungry, the not hungry point and just eating. Now I just. When I'm not hungry, I put the down because I'm like, okay, I have something to be skinny for.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
Before I was like, I don't. I don't really care.
Kevin Clancy
I'll be right. Right. You also were never like, fat.
Dana Beers
This is a big. Dude.
Kevin Clancy
You're tall.
Jackie
You're tall.
Kevin Clancy
If you were like, that's pretty big. But if you were like. If you were like five, nine.
Jackie
Oh, I'd be probably.
Kevin Clancy
I would, you know, you'd be obese.
Jackie
I'd be stabby me pretty much.
Kevin Clancy
Well, that was.
Jackie
Billy would be a larger man.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
If I was smaller.
Dana Beers
Good choice. Where, like, Stavi wears it well, you just, like.
Kevin Clancy
If Stavi was skinny. Yeah, I know.
Jackie
I'm saying my body would be comparable to Stavi.
Kevin Clancy
How tall are you?
Jackie
Six, Three and a half?
Kevin Clancy
I was gonna say six. Four. Yeah, yeah, we'll give you the four.
Jackie
Yeah. I don't know. I.
Kevin Clancy
Two hundred and eighties high, though.
Jackie
Like that. So my thing was I was. I still edit all my own videos, so I will, like, see myself every single frame. And that's when the Ozempic came in where I was like, dude, I hate this. Camera's tough. This guy is fat and gross. I tried to do it on my own. Let's do a cheat code.
Dana Beers
And it works.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Now, are you gonna stop, though, after the wedding?
Jackie
I don't know. I like being skinnier.
Dana Beers
Is Oz epic something you're supposed to be on for life or is it a temporary thing?
Kevin Clancy
I don't think. I guess we'll find out. Nobody's. Nobody's been on it for more than a year.
Jackie
So I got off of it over the summer and I gained it all back.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
So it. Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
I mean, it's a prescribed eating disorder, so I don't think you could be.
Dana Beers
On it for life.
Jackie
No, I don't. I don't think I need it. I just like being skinnier.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
And I don't And I have a tough time doing it on my own.
Kevin Clancy
Are you a. Like, when you eat, you.
Jackie
I eat.
Kevin Clancy
That's Work out or no.
Jackie
Yeah, but. So it's just decent amount. Yeah, it's the eating. I can.
Kevin Clancy
What's your. What's your Achilles heel? Like, I was putting down a pint of ice cream every single night in my life for like four straight years. What's your. What's your bad.
Jackie
Anything saucy? Saucy.
Kevin Clancy
Anything?
Dana Beers
Anything saucy?
Jackie
Just a saucy buffalo chicken sandwich.
Kevin Clancy
But see, I broke good.
Dana Beers
It just reminded me. Can you like. I can't forget to get it. You posted on your Instagram story years ago. Oh, this is fat Taco, Buffalo chicken, Cow.
Kevin Clancy
Posted.
Jackie
I said, oh, yeah.
Kevin Clancy
You posted a sandwich years ago.
Jackie
I've been waiting to ask you about Hingham, Massachusetts.
Dana Beers
But that's what. You're getting married there, right?
Jackie
I'm getting married on the Cape. But it's close.
Dana Beers
Close.
Jackie
Yeah. You want me to bring one for.
Dana Beers
Well, no, no, I'm gonna get it, but I just want to make sure, like, I. I know it'll be in the region.
Jackie
That's the number one thing I received. I've done four power.
Kevin Clancy
Remember the thing you ate years ago? Can I get it at your wedding?
Dana Beers
You knew exactly what I was talking about.
Kevin Clancy
That was like f. Language together.
Jackie
So calzones in Massachusetts are much different than in New York. And those are my calzones. Is the answer. I. That's my. That's my.
Kevin Clancy
What's different? Like here, it's like, you know, like a.
Jackie
They put like cod of cheese in there.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jackie
In Massachusetts they do like. It's like a roll. Like a buffalo chicken here.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jackie
But they put a lot of cheese on top the chicken inside, and they toast it. And for me, there was this one in high school that was this Gold Fever calzone. Do you know Gold fever from the 99?
Dana Beers
Oh, yes, yes.
Jackie
So it's like that. It's like a honey barbecue type sauce. And I would. That was. That's why I got fat after college or during college.
Dana Beers
99.
Jackie
So they discontinued the place. The sub galley. It's called sub galley. They. They closed down. And this is in my hometown. And I said to my friends, I'm like, I don't care how you do it. The only wedding gift I want is somehow find that calzone, the ingredients, the people, and bring it to the after party somehow. And they're like, all right. No say less.
Kevin Clancy
And so they're gonna do that.
Jackie
Think it's in motion.
Kevin Clancy
Wow. I got in contact with people from the 99, asked for the ingredients, like nine years.
Jackie
Like this local sub shop that. Oh my God, it's my.
Kevin Clancy
So wait, what is it exactly? It's buffalo chicken.
Jackie
It's like, it's not shredded, but it's like little pieces of chicken calzone. And it's like barbecuey honey mustardy.
Kevin Clancy
Dip it in their ranch. Dude, when things like that get discontinued, like this is not nearly on that level, cuz this is just whatever. But I went to Subway the other day. I'm a big Subway guy. I like Subway. They don't have their southwest like, chipotle sauce anymore.
Dana Beers
Really?
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, they have like Baja Ch. What's it called? Cayenne. I don't know. One of those things. And it's like kind of. Kind of similar.
Jackie
Yeah, but it's like, what.
Dana Beers
What the.
Jackie
I'm a big like, comfort zone guy. When I like something, I like it and I don't stray away.
Kevin Clancy
I'll eat the same thing a hundred days in a row.
Jackie
So when it's gone, it's like, okay, I guess I'll go to the next bit. But the. The pro point, that's the next best thing. Dude.
Dana Beers
Dude, I. I think I screenshotted it. You put it on your screen?
Kevin Clancy
You said this was years ago.
Jackie
Quite often I go to my pictures.
Dana Beers
Probably last, you said before.
Kevin Clancy
I forget, like. Yeah, like it was.
Jackie
You know, see this thing. I. Quite often I only go to my.
Kevin Clancy
Pictures and look up from this phone call, from this podcast.
Dana Beers
They do that often.
Jackie
Yeah, I'll go to my pictures and look up pizza.
Kevin Clancy
But just to look at it.
Jackie
Just to look at it, you know?
John Feitelberg
I don't know. Like I. I love watching like mukbang videos now. Yeah, not in like a. Nothing like sexual about it. I just like watching people eat.
Dana Beers
It's so weird how like everything we do now, I just say it recently. Like everything has to be like. And by the way, that's not something.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, I'm not jumping out to it, bro.
Dana Beers
Yeah, I know.
Kevin Clancy
I wasn't thinking that until you said it, but.
Dana Beers
Okay.
Jackie
How do you do this?
Dana Beers
Like, I like mukbang videos. Not in a sexual. The gross food eating video. Yeah, I didn't think so.
Kevin Clancy
Yo, people will jerk off. Anything, dude. Literally anything. ASMR all of a sudden is like sexual. It's like what?
Jackie
The weirdness you had on your story. Yeah, I know, but I'm scooting. It's definitely on Google, dude. If you know, you know what is.
Kevin Clancy
What does your lady think of you?
Jackie
She supports me through everything, which is. That's all I could ask for.
Kevin Clancy
The only thing that matters.
Jackie
Weirdo. And I'm. I.
Kevin Clancy
How did you bag her?
Jackie
She's. She.
Kevin Clancy
She's gotta be a big humor girl, huh?
Jackie
Look. Oh, it's on Google from my tweet.
Dana Beers
Yes, that's the one, dude.
Kevin Clancy
That's the one I'm so excited to see. Oh, that looks fire.
Jackie
Put it in the sunlight.
Kevin Clancy
Is the best blue cheese.
Dana Beers
This.
Kevin Clancy
This is like Bob Fox with that roast beef sandwich like that.
Jackie
Whatever.
Kevin Clancy
Whatever. Closed down. Like, they could reopen if this goes viral.
Jackie
I'm telling you, it's almost like cheesy bread that's almost like everything like fried chicken underneath.
Dana Beers
I'm getting that for show.
Kevin Clancy
We should. I'm gonna put. I. I know a couple, like, chefs and stuff now. I think, like, Philip Lee could make that.
Dana Beers
Yeah. Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
I think we can make this dream come back to life.
Jackie
I mean, listen, I. Every time I go back to Massachusetts, my new thing now is Buffalo chicken calzone reviews. When I go home. We don't do enough food reviews at barstool.
Kevin Clancy
What's your. What's your rating scale?
Jackie
It's out of 30 beers.
Dana Beers
I like that.
Jackie
Yeah. To give anyone a bad grade, so I'm like, oh, 27 and a half, no matter what.
Dana Beers
But I like that. I know Dave does the same thing with pizza reviews where he, like. Yeah, he understands the power he wields. Yeah, I think. I think that's.
Kevin Clancy
But then it just shifts. I actually saw a tick tock the other day. I wish I could give the girl credit. She said she invented the seven scale, which is that there are things that are perfect sevens. It's not intended to ever be a 10.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Like, you can't call. You can't compare Saving Silverman and Oppenheimer.
Dana Beers
Right.
Kevin Clancy
Saving Silverman is a perfect seven out of seven.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
It's for what it is. It is perfection. But you can't compare it to something that goes all the way to 10. So there are certain things that need to be like, the bar is just lower. You know what I mean?
Dana Beers
I very much get that.
Jackie
So.
John Feitelberg
So people say, like. Like sometimes they'll be, like, rated on the skull 1 to 10. You can't use 7 because 7's like a cop out answer.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. This is almost. Yeah, yeah. It's like the reverse of that, I think. Because my point being that, like, if. Now if Dave gives you, like, a 6.9. That's like wrong.
Jackie
You know what I mean?
Dana Beers
Like, so it all just kind of ships the. Was it just gonna say, I have it.
Kevin Clancy
Get there. Get there. Get there. Earn it.
Dana Beers
The.
Kevin Clancy
Earn it.
Jackie
Calzones.
Kevin Clancy
Land the plane. Oh, food scales.
Dana Beers
Food scales. It should only be good or incredible.
Kevin Clancy
No, bad.
Jackie
What?
Dana Beers
Who's ever at like, what bad foods? Like, you know, food.
Kevin Clancy
I've definitively had bad food.
Dana Beers
Like, but like, that's like a troll like that. If I have bad food, I'm like, it's not even worth reviewing. Otherwise it's good. Or I very rarely have bad food.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
If the whole world could just be judged by like endless vitalbergs. Like your job, your looks, what you do. Like, everything's good, everything's great, everything's fine. Yeah, for the most part that is true.
Dana Beers
We're too thinking. We're thinking too much into things. It's pretty good. Yeah, it's fine. It's pretty good. And then you have time like that.
Kevin Clancy
That was amazing.
Dana Beers
99.9 of things you have. Yeah, it's all right.
Kevin Clancy
But like, then. Then there are. There are just pieces of.
Dana Beers
There are really, really bad ones. But I forget if you were here.
Kevin Clancy
Wait, what was that? Something. It was a TV show we watched recently. The episode that was like a. I remember being like, this is offensive. Oh, the De Niro zero day Show. That was a piece of.
Dana Beers
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was so bad.
Kevin Clancy
That was. But almost then it kind of came around as like entertaining. So then it became like.
Dana Beers
And this is. I forget if I've told you this on G man's eating out beliefs. No, if it's not gonna. It's like one of my best friends. If it's not going to be a top five. Oh, you did his life. It's a disaster.
Jackie
I just. I don't know. My brain went. I thought you're talking about eating for a second.
Kevin Clancy
Eat out is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dana Beers
Well, you know, the best you've ever eaten. So he's eating out. Nothing sexual.
Kevin Clancy
No, but if it's not gonna be the best meal you've ever had, let's have it be a disaster. That we can laugh something more fun to talk about.
Dana Beers
Yeah, because. Because most of the meals are just gonna be like, yeah, that was pretty good.
Jackie
No, I agree.
Dana Beers
Where like, I like.
Jackie
I like a story.
Dana Beers
The service be a mess and the food be a nightmare. And yeah, the people sitting next to.
Kevin Clancy
Me sick from it.
Jackie
Horrible. Have you ever heard my onion ring story?
Dana Beers
No.
Jackie
This was actually on the cape. I went to this place. And this went like, viral. I didn't expect to go viral on Tick Tock. And I sit down and I see everyone eating the onion rings outside on this patio. Like, probably three people eating onion rings. And they look incredible. And so I asked the waitress, I'm like, hey, can I get some onion rings? And she's like, you can't have onion rings out here. You got to go eat them inside or order them inside and eat them inside. I'm like, all right, I see people eating them, but whatever. So I go inside and I asked the lady for onion rings and she's like, yeah, but you can only eat them right in this inside bar. Like, you can't go out to the outside patio with them. So I'm like, what the going on? So I'm like, all right, I'm just not going to order them. I go back and I see the guy across the bar. He's not even eating his onion rings. He's just talk. He's yucking it up with somebody. He's just. I'm like, dude, eat the onion rings or not? So I go up and I offer him a ten dollar bill for his onion rings. He's like, ah, just take them. I'm not eating them. I'm busy. Whatever. I bring him back to my table, the waitress, and everybody is staring at me like, I did. Like, I'm crazy for eating onion rings outside. So finally I asked, I'm like, what's the deal? And then they're like, well, the. The onion rings are so good that the cook gets overwhelmed if he has to make too many at once. So he doesn't want people eating them outside because if everyone seeds them outside, everyone's gonna order them outside. Dude, only people inside can eat them because no one's inside because it's a nice day out. So I'm like, all right, so I can't have onion rings. He's like, no, not outside.
Kevin Clancy
That's crazy.
Dana Beers
I don't want people to see it.
Kevin Clancy
I'm gonna sell too many of these things.
Dana Beers
People start buying these things, I'm gonna be.
Jackie
So it went viral. And then they were like, really funny about the restaurant. Like, they made posts about it and they were like, they made like, jokes about, like, when you see somebody outside eating on your rings and it was funny. And they're like, they. They righted their wrong. And they were like, yeah, come anytime. We'll give you onion. But he said, what I found out was it's like an extremely, like, rare type of way to make onion rings. So however he does it, it does take, like, a lot of time and effort. It's not just like, do you know any.
Kevin Clancy
Can you give me any insight on that? Because it.
Jackie
If they're, like, stringy onion rings, what, Were they good?
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, he's got a point.
John Feitelberg
Like, you saw the onion rings and.
Jackie
Yeah, but, like, I get it.
Kevin Clancy
I'm, like, starving right now. This podcast.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
The onion ring to me is like, I don't care about the onion. It could be whatever on the inside of that. You know what I mean?
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Like, you ever. You ever eat the onion ring and kind of the onion, like, slides out and then there's. No, you don't eat that.
Jackie
You're just eating the bread.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, just. Just make me. Breaded rings is really what you want. You know, the.
Dana Beers
The. My main takeaway from that story is if you're at a restaurant and you see someone eating a meal that looks good, you'll go right up to them and buy it off.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
As you say, we kind of buried the lead that you paid a stranger.
Jackie
$10 for his onion right now. You just said, just take them.
Dana Beers
You go up, you see like, a burger with, like, three bites. Are you gonna finish that? I'll give you 20 bucks.
Kevin Clancy
And don't you act a year above that.
Dana Beers
Oh, I, I. I would. I would want to do it. I don't think I'd have the ball.
Kevin Clancy
Would do it. Yeah.
John Feitelberg
My Uber app, that's.
Kevin Clancy
Oh, yeah, people's leftovers. Jackie's gonna invent scrap.
Dana Beers
Like, you have an app for that?
Jackie
I wouldn't hate that. You would order.
Kevin Clancy
You would order people's scraps to your house?
Jackie
No, I wouldn't order to my house. I would. If I'm at a restaurant. Are you saying I order to my house?
John Feitelberg
Unclear yet. The business plan is not together. So, like, I'm willing to work with you on this.
Jackie
In this. This app.
Kevin Clancy
App.
Jackie
You're at the restaurant, and somehow you punch in into your app. Like, love it. Hey.
John Feitelberg
Table three.
Jackie
And then the other person's on the app. He's like, oh, those look good. Maybe it's on the app.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, but you know what you're gonna.
Dana Beers
Run into, though, if we're talking in restaurants?
Kevin Clancy
No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, that sounds great in theory, but what you're gonna get is a bunch of homeless people and people who don't, you know, they're just gonna sit down, order a glass of water, and put in. I want no leftover filet mignon.
John Feitelberg
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Jackie
Abs.
Dana Beers
Five bucks a month.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, you gotta have, you gotta have books. Yeah. I see people on the corner charging their iPhones of those charging stations. I don't know how they do it. It's crazy. Yeah, that would be a, like a great, like not even homeless, but like a college kid move. Go in, I'll order like a bread basket and just wait for there to be leftover fillet.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Basically start running like a soup kitchen. You're basically running like a shelter. At some point.
John Feitelberg
Yeah, it is.
Kevin Clancy
It's gonna be fats and homeless and being fights. You need to open a restaurant though.
Dana Beers
That's just called he got us. I'm somehow both.
Jackie
I'm in the fat.
Dana Beers
I'm like a weird mix of both. Yeah, like I got, I'm not that fat and I got a home, but I'm kind of fat and homeless.
Kevin Clancy
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Jackie
I do feel bad calling myself fat because it's kind of like disrespect to like, like actual fats people. But like I'm chunky.
Dana Beers
Well, we talked about that actually recently that I was saying that Frank, because I. I think you're the last person people will call fat.
Jackie
Yeah, like, we were. We were crossing at one point.
Kevin Clancy
What do you mean, last people?
Dana Beers
Like, well, like, people be like, dana's a fat ass, because he's clearly not.
Kevin Clancy
Oh, yeah. It's like anything else if you're gonna say to someone's face, they're probably not really that. Right.
Dana Beers
So Dana's kind of like. Like, people say Dana's fat, and then I think you're the bigger guy. Biggest guy people call fat because you're a big dude.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
That's fun.
Dana Beers
And then I think Frank. I think Frank has backdoored his way into being a fat guy now.
Jackie
You think people will call him fat?
Dana Beers
I think he is. I think. I think Frank's small enough to be like.
Kevin Clancy
Well, yeah, shut up, fatso.
Jackie
Right? There was a genuine time period when, if I would. Kept going. We were gonna. He was gonna let me.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. He's in, like, the low threes. You got the high twos.
Jackie
I was 282.
Kevin Clancy
And he's down to, like, three teens. Right.
Jackie
And I was. I had no plan to stop.
Kevin Clancy
It's crazy.
John Feitelberg
Like, Most Dangerous game show. When we did it, that was like, the whole story.
Jackie
That was.
Kevin Clancy
That was so me.
Jackie
I have a. That was up.
John Feitelberg
It was like, really mean.
Jackie
But whatever. It's like. It's funny. So, I mean, I have a video I've always wanted to do. It's like, all right, Once I'm under £250, I'll go skydiving and be like.
Kevin Clancy
That was the saddest thing, like, I've ever heard.
Jackie
But I don't really want to go skydiving, so I probably won't do it, you know?
Kevin Clancy
You know what you should do, though, is go.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Even if you just go and be like, I qualify.
Jackie
Yeah. Yeah.
Dana Beers
I think we talked about last time you're on the show, too, but I just have to call it out. That diary video. It's the funniest video.
Jackie
The diarrhea. Well, it's true, buddy.
Dana Beers
We all got that.
Jackie
Everyone does. Don't want to talk about it.
Dana Beers
They're asking me if I got diarrhea. Buddy, we all got back.
Jackie
We do. You know, people don't want to. People don't want to talk about Happens. All right. I have diarrhea right now. The salad I ate yesterday, Sweet green. Every time diarrhea.
Dana Beers
Sweet green. I. Every time sweet green comes up. The next good salad I have from sweet green will be the bro.
Kevin Clancy
The Manhattan. I don't know if it's. I just know my whole world is New York, so maybe this is elsewhere, maybe other cities, too, but, like the Manhattan salad racket that is going on, 25 salads that just stink. And they also give you, like, they do give you a big portion, but it's like, they give you, like, a bucket. And it's like, I don't want all this salad. You know what I mean? So just charge me half the price, because I only. I only want to have a few bites because I'm trying to lose weight or I'm trying to eat healthy anyway, so I don't want to have a bucket of leaves. Now you're just giving me excess to charge the price up.
Jackie
And that's the other thing about OIC I I. There's a lady in the room, but the shits. You don't. For three days, and then it's horse pile.
Dana Beers
Oh, God. You did that. I'm sorry. There's a lady in a room.
Kevin Clancy
Use the term horse pile. You know, I asked you earlier, how did you get your lady.
Dana Beers
I know there's a woman in the room. He'd just get backed up for three days, throw a horse final.
Kevin Clancy
It's like a goddamn Budweiser commercial. It's like you're at the Cleveland Parade. Someone's eating that.
Jackie
I have to be myself. I'm sorry.
Kevin Clancy
Unapologetically. Dana.
Jackie
Oh, God. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know how I landed a hotel fiance. I don't.
Kevin Clancy
Dude, I was stunned, man.
Jackie
Yes.
Kevin Clancy
When I first saw her, I was like, what the.
Jackie
And she's cool. I don't. I don't know how I did it. I don't know. I have a good charm, I guess. I'm a good. I have a good personality.
Kevin Clancy
Well, no, you know what it is? It's actually a great. What's not. Not the word indictment. But again, it's a great reflection on her.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Because it means. Yeah, well, but yes, but also that it just means, like, she. She likes, like, a good sense of humor, and she knows what really matters.
John Feitelberg
And, like, wait, how'd you meet her?
Jackie
She Instagram DM me.
John Feitelberg
Oh, no way.
Jackie
When I had a mullet. I give her for that. I'm like, you like me when I had a mullet. So don't ever tell me to grow up.
Kevin Clancy
You ever have a moment where, like, where the person you're with will say someone else that they like, like, that would give me. That's like a yellow flag in my mind to Be like, wait a minute. You liked me when I looked like that?
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
When I. When you're with someone, they're like watching a movie, like, that guy's hot. It's like, that guy. You think that guy's hot now? Everything's out the window now.
Dana Beers
Marty texted me yesterday because on the, on the show, I was talking about the wedding, and I said it was very beautiful. And like, like, when they speak to each other, you believe them. And I was like, yeah. I was like, marty, they're like the.
Kevin Clancy
Two most in love people ever.
Dana Beers
It's crazy. And I was saying that. I was like, ria genuinely thinks that Marty is the best looking, funniest man in the world. And I was like, and I think he's very handsome.
Jackie
I think he's a hairline.
Dana Beers
I think he's very funny. But, like, I don't think he's the funniest in the world. So Marty texted me, like, like, so I'm not the hottest guy in the world? And then we just had a full conversation about who we think the hottest guy in the world.
Kevin Clancy
It's Chris Hemsworth.
Dana Beers
I said that to Marty. I was like, arguably the gayest thing about me, and there's a long list, is that I have a hard answer for who's the hottest guy. Yeah, Like, I'm like, I don't know.
Kevin Clancy
I think it's way more definitive for men than it is for women.
Jackie
I think you're gay if you don't have an answer for that.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
If that bugs you out. Like, I don't know.
Dana Beers
It does. I don't see guys that way. I've never even considered a handsome person. Looks like, Right.
Kevin Clancy
Like, so did you see Terence Howard came out and said that he was offered the role of Marvin Gaye in, like, a monster movie? It would have been like the. The biopic of, like, Marvin Gaye. I think it was like a big time director, all that, but he was in the closet. And so part of the movie was going to be that, like, he had to be gay. And he was like, nope, not doing it.
Dana Beers
It is weak.
Kevin Clancy
He was like, I can't. He goes, I wouldn't be able to do it. I wouldn't be able to pretend. It's like, you're a actor and, like. But, you know, I'm. I'm sure he's done other roles. You're a villain, You're a bad guy. You kill, rape, murder, whatever. Like, you can pretend all that, but you can't just pretend to be gay. Not saying I Mean, it would be hard to, like, make out with a dude or do whatever. You know, that shit's not easy. But, like, the guys who do do it are like, you win Oscars and you're heralded as, like, the best. No one runs around being like, Jake Gyllenhaal.
Jackie
What a gay loser.
Kevin Clancy
You know?
Jackie
You think he's scared? He's, like, gonna pop a boner, maybe when he's making out.
Dana Beers
It's weird that gay, like, gay is, like, the only thing you could say that about. And it's like, like, that would be. I don't know, cancelable is the right word. But, like, you get a lot of trouble if you. I'm not doing that. I would not be one of those people.
Kevin Clancy
Right, right.
Dana Beers
He's like, no, I'm not doing gay. I refuse to do gay. And everyone's like, well, it's an actor's choice. Like, and it is. I agree that it is, but it's weird to just be on a podcast and be like, I would.
Kevin Clancy
Like, he would probably.
Dana Beers
I would never joke about being. I would never act like I'm gay.
Kevin Clancy
He would probably play Hitler before he did that legitimately. Like, here's, you want to be a war criminal or, you know, just have scene where you, like, flirt with a dude, take the Hitler. I. I would argue, though, by the way, that I think if people were to look around Barstool, I think the phrase outkicked coverage would be thrown around quite a bit, which I think negates that phrase. I think that that's the appropriate coverage.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
I think that this is like, proof positive that, like, funny and charm and all that means more.
Jackie
I take it as.
Kevin Clancy
I mean, you guys really. It's not like you guys are ugly or anything like that. So it's all just kind of. Of Barstool fans have kind of. We're like caricatures.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
You know what I mean? You're fat, you're ugly. It's like we're all normal looking people, but just the point that it's like a bunch of beautiful girls are all linked up with these guys who would. Are they Chris Hemsworth? No, but it's like, they work here because they have personality and they're charisma, charismatic and all that.
Dana Beers
Yeah, yeah.
Kevin Clancy
And so it works.
Jackie
That's the coverage compliment.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. That's the other thing.
Jackie
Anytime I see a car like that, I'm like, you're right.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
Great.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. It's almost like you don't want to be in your coverage.
Jackie
Ugly girl.
Dana Beers
Yeah. Would you onside kick this one?
Jackie
I recovered it.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, but that's got to also be weird. Like, if. If somebody said that about you with a guy, I'd be so pissed right quick.
Jackie
Their coverage would.
Dana Beers
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Wait, you know, you're.
John Feitelberg
If I'm.
Jackie
You're punching.
Kevin Clancy
If. If you were dating a guy that everyone was like, how did he land her?
John Feitelberg
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, I would love that.
Kevin Clancy
You would like that.
John Feitelberg
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Because I guess that just means you're. But you do you have thoughts of, like, oh, I guess I should be with, like, a hotter guy?
John Feitelberg
Good question.
Kevin Clancy
No, you just view it as you're saying I'm way hotter than the person I'm with. And that's a good thing.
John Feitelberg
Yeah, I think, like, maybe it's like, confidence wise, but I don't know if I would get with a guy who I. I need to be a little hotter than him.
Jackie
I think that's a good.
Kevin Clancy
I think that's a good way to. I think that's a key to a happy relationship.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
The girl should be hotter than the guy. The girl should be, like, hotter and smarter than the guy.
Jackie
Yeah, I think so.
John Feitelberg
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Smarter in the sense of like, you.
Dana Beers
Know, smarter in the sense of like.
Kevin Clancy
Life'S like, you're not like a. You know, we're all like, idiots, you know, And a girl will, like, keep a home nice and, like, you know, dress the right way and like, all those things, you know?
Jackie
Huge.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, huge.
Jackie
My closet in my old apartment, before I had a beautiful person to go home to, I just had piles of, like, clothes.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
Clean clothes. Just throw them in the clothes. Now.
Kevin Clancy
Are you taking care of it or does she take care of it?
Jackie
I'm not like, oh, go do the dishes. But, like, she'll do it. I'm like, oh, my God, that's. That just happened.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Jackie
I'd wait a week.
Kevin Clancy
I really. I really believe that's kind of what balances out the fact that, you know, stereotypically, men are providing. Like I've said before, like, no guy ever really has the thought of, like, I'll just marry a woman with money and not have to worry about money ever. Dude, that's a pretty standard thing for, like, a lot of chicks.
Jackie
But then they're so good nowadays.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
That's what I mean. And then. And so in return, like, you do that that we hate.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
And then everybody wins. Just accept it.
Dana Beers
I always think of, like, movies or TV shows when, like, a guy gets divorced and then he has to go like, like, Live in squalor or whatever you want to call it. And I'm always like, if that's where I end up. I've been here for 15 years. I mean that was definitely, that's not a fear for me of like, you know what I mean? Like if you get married right out, like, like in the old days, when you get married at 18 and whatever, like, you're like, oh, I don't even know how to keep a home. Like, I don't know how to keep home either, but I can survive in it.
Kevin Clancy
I, I, everybody has a limit. But like a pile of clothes somewhere does not affect me. And like it just does, you know, again, stereotypically between men and women. But it's also just like type A personality and type B personality. Like if there is like I, I get such a kick out of when girls will like just kind of.
Dana Beers
Okay, now that's clean.
Kevin Clancy
That's not, that's the same. But it's just gotta like look a certain way. And so, I mean, when I, when I first moved out and was single again, it was, I wasn't like living in squalor. But it would definitely be like, yeah, I don't know. There's some clothes over there. Like I had a table that was just like, that was my table to put stuff on.
Dana Beers
My drawers are empty.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
On top of my bureau. I have tons of clothes. Yeah.
Jackie
I do miss my piss bottles.
Kevin Clancy
Everyone has a line.
Dana Beers
How old were you keeping piss bottles?
Kevin Clancy
Like you would piss like in, like.
Jackie
I'd just be too lazy to go to the bathroom. Piss her bottle.
Kevin Clancy
But that's, you gotta be. You were, you were spilling. No drop here and there.
Jackie
Well, it's. Again, there's a woman in the room. I'm not gonna, it's just not myself.
Kevin Clancy
You put it all the way in. Yeah, it's like a, almost like an astro, like a space thing. It's like docked in all the way.
Dana Beers
Of course you put it in.
Kevin Clancy
Right. I really, I go, I, I don't want to be like a high horse guy. I go pee in toilets.
Dana Beers
I'm sorry.
Kevin Clancy
Before I've been in a car, but usually like, unless you have like a body armor bottle that's got like a, but if it's like a polar spring.
Jackie
Like you're in trouble if there's a game on. An important part of the, of the game.
Kevin Clancy
Wait, no, wait.
Jackie
I don't want to miss it.
Kevin Clancy
It's one thing, I thought this was like, like you wake up 2am hungover, you're up awake and watching a game.
Jackie
This was back in the day. Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
That's insane.
Jackie
Marty used to just sitting there like third quarter. No, he would. You would walk into my room, be like, what? What the is that?
Kevin Clancy
I thought he was like on the couch with you. Just like, can you believe they called.
Jackie
Time out there.
Dana Beers
With you? I'm 99.9999. I'm pissing in a. In a toilet.
Kevin Clancy
I would really like that to be 100. I'm not going to lie, boys. That's a good thing is to make that 100.
Jackie
Hey, look, it's.
Dana Beers
It's 100. It's as close to one as you can get. I'm just saying. In close to 100 time, currently, today, in my lifetime, bottles have been.
Kevin Clancy
From now until you are dead, will you pee in a bottle?
Dana Beers
For sure. But the definitively not on. But like it won't be in my apartment. Apartment.
Kevin Clancy
Like, okay, if you're like in a car in a jam. But like will my apartment.
Dana Beers
I will not pee in. Okay.
Kevin Clancy
That's a good first.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
I'm proud of you guys.
Dana Beers
Dude, I had a. I had a buddy in college who would just piss on the floor, just sober. Like if it was his were extreme hangovers and stuff like that. I never witnessed this. That I know they had a rugged carpet and they'd be like, careful, there's a lot of piss on that. It was in like their actual dorm. Dorm room. Like not. Not like it wasn't a college apartment. It was like there.
Kevin Clancy
Oh, I'm sure that would have stopped him.
Dana Beers
Literal dorm room.
Kevin Clancy
And what would you do if you were dating somebody? And let's just say he was the perfect. The whole package looks, money, two very handsome men. And you find out that like in the middle of the night, if he's hungover, he just rolls over and pees on the floor. I can't just you though. It's a secret. Like no one else knows. But you know, you gonna stare at that guy I had.
Dana Beers
That's not even my worst friend. My worst friend. This is. I. I think I've mentioned this before, but this is. We had an apartment in Newport on Davis Ave. And he would jerk off.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
But he didn't like it landing on his stomach or rag or whatever he had. So he would just. Again, he would do the same thing where he would roll over the edge and he'd just come on the floor. And then, dude, we. It was like, you know, we all had our own bedroom at this apartment. And so we like you wouldn't go into each other's rooms that often. And one day he was at work, and we went into his room, and it looked like the floor of a jungle because all the gum had just collected, like, dirt and dust, so it was like tons of brown, black spots. So then we just built a jungle. We, like, we got. We had nothing to do that day, so we got drunk and we got. My. One of my buddies is a construction worker, and he got a bunch of wire, and then we papier mached a full tree that came out into his. Into his fan, so it had leaves. It looked like a tree.
John Feitelberg
You decorated, like, around the. Come.
Kevin Clancy
Decorated around the cup.
Jackie
I'm gross. I'm not that gross.
John Feitelberg
That is the grossest thing that's been said on.
Jackie
No, it was. It was carpet.
Dana Beers
No, that was hardwood. The carpet was in there in the college.
Kevin Clancy
Oh, my God.
Dana Beers
That's how it was collecting the dust and stuff.
Kevin Clancy
I thought it was like, Like. But the.
Jackie
Oh, he's gonna slip.
Dana Beers
It was crazy. And he was banging girls. Still not cleaning the floor. Like, girls would just be like.
Kevin Clancy
We're like, what do you guys think?
Dana Beers
Because that is, I guess, your first thought.
Kevin Clancy
I actually, Yeah, I would be like, I don't know, you spilled. Or the wood is, like, rotten or something. I. I would never. Like, the last thing on my list would be like, you just come on the floor.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
John Feitelberg
That is crazy.
Jackie
Yeah, it's a lot when I'm like, that's.
John Feitelberg
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Do you have anything you wish you didn't say? Like, do you wish you took back. Did you take back the butt funnel?
Jackie
No, I don't give a. About that.
Kevin Clancy
You offered that one up so casually.
Jackie
It was so funny, I think. Did you.
Kevin Clancy
Wait, wait, wait. Let me just. When you said that, because there's one of my favorite things about blogging and podcast. All this content is, you know, one of the most important things you can do is be relatable. So when you say something that everybody goes like, yup.
Jackie
I was like, did you think I went in? And I was like, people are gonna be like, yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Everybody was like.
Jackie
That'S fine. I. I really. I think I'm at my best when I'm just like, lena, rip stupid stories.
Dana Beers
Do you have anything you regret? Like, is there a. A moment or maybe take a little.
Jackie
Bit of that money?
Kevin Clancy
Oh, that was so dumb.
Dana Beers
How much was it?
Kevin Clancy
And, like, a little bit very noble what you did, but, you know, like, hey, ALS is still going strong.
Jackie
Guess who's getting the check? Not really.
Kevin Clancy
I Did you gave the whole thing up?
Jackie
Well, Dave gave me 20k on the side, which was nice after the fact.
Kevin Clancy
To be like, nice. That's. That's good.
Jackie
So that. That made it feel.
Kevin Clancy
That was one of my favorite things, by the way, when he was so anti. And you just proved him wrong.
Jackie
It's nice to win one, you know.
Kevin Clancy
In a major way. I mean, a million dollars of merchant in a week is like. And, you know, he spun it as, like. Well, that happened because of me. And like, I meet. Yes, it affected that, but it was ripping. It was a thing.
Dana Beers
It affected things. But, like, if it was someone else other than you, it would.
Jackie
It wouldn't have worked.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
So it was both.
Dana Beers
It was the perfect.
Kevin Clancy
And had. So maybe had he not got involved, maybe. You don't do a million in a week. Would you do a million in a summer? Yeah. It's still incredible.
Jackie
Well, the thing about Barstool, obviously, is you. A lot of people get pigeonholed to their character Persona. I. I don't know when it runs out. I'm 32.
Kevin Clancy
I don't think. I don't think it does.
Jackie
Like, I don't. I don't really do any of that anymore.
Kevin Clancy
But that's the thing is you don't need, like, if you. As long as you chug a beer, like, once a year, like, you know, like, at a moment here and there.
Dana Beers
Yeah. Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Because you know what? Also, I would say at Barstool, there's very few people that, like, look old or, like, look. I feel like a lot of people at barstool are. People are always surprised at their age.
Jackie
Yeah. I want to say, too, I am not hungover right now. I have really bad allergies. That's why I look swollen.
Dana Beers
Oh, you know what?
Kevin Clancy
You kind of look like.
Jackie
You look.
Dana Beers
Luckily, you don't look half as bad as Pabs did, so we don't even know.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. Forget about allergies. Pads look like you got pepper spray. You kind of, right now, at least from the side, look like the Rock in his new movie playing that UFC guy.
Dana Beers
I have not seen the trailer. I know. Yeah. Intentionally it looks.
Kevin Clancy
I don't know if the Rock has. Has the acting chops, but it's with Emily.
Dana Beers
He does. I don't know where it came that he's a bad actor. I know. People say it all the time. Like, I watched Fast Five two nights ago. He's a great actor. He's. He's fantastic.
Kevin Clancy
Again, there's levels. You know, maybe Fast Five is perfect. Seven out of seven.
Dana Beers
But I think the. Which it is. That was exactly what I was picturing that. Yeah.
Jackie
No, it's not. Yeah, yeah.
Dana Beers
The.
Jackie
No, it's not.
Dana Beers
It literally.
Jackie
No, it's not.
Kevin Clancy
I'm telling you from the side right now. It's kind of what you look like.
Jackie
How was that? The Rock?
Kevin Clancy
He's, like, wearing makeup and.
Jackie
Well, that's not his face.
Dana Beers
They.
Kevin Clancy
You know how movies work sometimes.
Jackie
Like, oh, I had I bad one recently that Sinners. I thought that Michael B. Jordan had a brother.
Kevin Clancy
Yes, I heard that. You are like. Like, was there Michael B. Jordan and.
Jackie
Michael C. Jordan, two different little prank video. She was like, she. I didn't know she was filming. And she's like, oh, my God, you were right. His name is Nicholas A. Jordan. I told you.
Kevin Clancy
That's a bad one.
Jackie
Yeah. Those are the moments where I'm like, okay, yeah, I am dumb, dumb. That. That is a dumb moment. Like, I genuinely thought he had a brother the whole time.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, that is stupid. But it's also like, it's just kind of a harmless. You just take life as it is.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
It's like when people, like, that video is fake. You didn't know. And it's like, yeah, I don't know. Somebody posted a video and I thought it was fake.
Dana Beers
Like, when people do that, like. Like, yeah, you're so go.
Jackie
Like, what is that?
Dana Beers
I'm not gullible. I'm pure of heart. And I just listen to what you told me. Like, why'd you tell me the wrong thing?
Kevin Clancy
You're intentionally trying to trick me.
Jackie
And it works going on there.
Kevin Clancy
That was like a promo. Like, they made a video.
Jackie
If I saw that, I would be fooled. Yeah.
Dana Beers
Like, I was told something fun and decided to ride with the vibes. That's not on me. Yeah, that's on you for being alive.
Jackie
Is it that crazy to think that he has a twin brother? No.
Dana Beers
No.
Kevin Clancy
That's a little bit crazy. By this point, I think we would know if.
Jackie
How does that happen?
Kevin Clancy
They. I. I definitely saw that.
Jackie
Everyone. He has a brother.
Kevin Clancy
I think that something just happened maybe, you know, in, like, the world of video editing. Because this is. There's a lot of this right now. And I think that they figured out a way to, like, you could be on camera at the same time. And they all want to use this little trick now because it's. There's a lot of this.
Dana Beers
Oh, I. My understanding of it is it's very easy. And the only reason I think that is because we did it on making a gambler.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did it pretty well. I remember that.
Jackie
Yeah, you did.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
Really?
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, but, like, they're doing it. They did it with this.
Jackie
Just cut it. Yeah, that makes sense.
Kevin Clancy
Did. Are you watching you? Do you watch you. No, there's. There's a. Like, there's a girl. The girl from Pitch Perfect plays like two people. Plays twins in the. In the.
John Feitelberg
They did it like, with Lindsay Lohan and like, you know.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, but those are like. When you watch those, it's a lot of like, it's a redhead from behind and.
Jackie
Yeah. Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
This is like, they are like side by side in every scene. Like, talking at the same time. Doing things together freaks me out. Are you on a honeymoon?
Jackie
Not right after the wedding. We're doing like a little mini moon. Going to Nantucket a couple days after the wedding. And then we're gonna do New Year's. Save some money.
Dana Beers
Where you headed?
Jackie
We don't know yet.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, that's nice too, though. Do it. Do it when it's cold.
Jackie
Yeah, yeah, we're gonna.
Kevin Clancy
I don't know, just eat calzones, man. I have a. I have a feeling that post wedding Dana Beers it. The Ozempic is. Does not stand a chance, bro. The big O is going down.
John Feitelberg
Does your appetite come back fully once you go?
Jackie
Yes, immediately it's completely. You feel normal again. But I don't know. 280s. That could be 280.
Kevin Clancy
Just. The problem with 280 is just that the number seems shocking. It's just the sticker shock.
Jackie
The fat face. Watching yourself on camera get liposuction in your face. I could.
Dana Beers
Good.
Kevin Clancy
Get rid of the fat in your face. The rest from there down could be fat.
Jackie
Seeing yourself on camera and being like, that guy's gross. Every frame is not fun.
John Feitelberg
And I. Every single day, I just think I'm so gross.
Kevin Clancy
But it really is like, you're looking at yourself is the problem. Like, I. I've never watched the Dana video. I'm like, that guy's.
Jackie
Yeah. And comparably, I'm definitely like, fine. I'm not. I'm a little chunky, but, like, I'm all right.
Kevin Clancy
You're completely proportional and you have hair. That's. That's. That's a. That's a. I wish I could.
Jackie
I Wish I wasn't 32 and couldn't have my mullet anymore.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
It was so good.
Kevin Clancy
You also.
Dana Beers
What?
Kevin Clancy
What You. What ethnicity are you Egyptian? Yeah, I was gonna say Egyptian. Yeah.
Jackie
I'm technically African American.
Kevin Clancy
That's true. That is true. You are technically you and Elon.
Jackie
I never used African brothers.
Dana Beers
Technically.
Jackie
I didn't put it on any applications or anything. What was there was straight up, like. Like his skin color was, like, completely black.
Kevin Clancy
Well, that's why you have that olive skin. You got, like, nice skin.
Jackie
Yes.
Kevin Clancy
Which. So you got like three of the four things.
Jackie
Yeah. I mean, I would never say, actually, in all seriousness, I'm black, but technically I'm African American.
Kevin Clancy
There was something recently. Where were you? Someone was like, we don't have his name on the list. Like, what's his last name?
Dana Beers
Like, oh, beers. When I was trying to. Trying to book a room.
Jackie
The room, right.
Dana Beers
It was. I. I had I code to get a room for. We can delete anything you want.
Jackie
I don't care. My last name is out there.
Dana Beers
The. I thought the code to get a room in his block for his wedding was his last name, because that morning he had texted me to be. He didn't say it, but just. He had hammered his last name in a couple of texts. So I was like. My brain was just like, oh, that's the code.
Jackie
Tough one.
Dana Beers
So I was like. I just kept saying it different ways, and they're like, you're not getting it, sir. That's not the code. And I was like, is it Barawi? And they're like, nope. Like. Like, they're like. They go, it's something with the bride's last name, too. And I was like, I know her last name. So I was trying to say both. And they're just like, nope, that. Like, they're trying to give me codes to guess it. So I'm spelling it. I'm like, I think it spells.
Jackie
You need to prove it.
Kevin Clancy
Can you speak? You know what we're talking about here? Like, just give me the code.
Dana Beers
It was just. I think it's a key, you know, I think it's to keep the safety or whatever. I get it.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
But I was just like, I don't. I was just reading her the full invitation. I was like, I don't know what words you're looking for here, but, like, I'm just. I'm reading the full inverted invitation. I don't know what it was. I eventually got it, but it was Bawari Barawi.
Jackie
Rally people. I've had people genuinely broken hearted when they found out my last name's not.
Kevin Clancy
I mean, that's another one when it's like.
Dana Beers
Because I thought his name.
Kevin Clancy
He told me his name was Beer.
Jackie
That's a great Name.
Kevin Clancy
It's like Alicia Keys. She plays the piano. He's the beer.
Dana Beers
I don't know. I don't ever remember putting Dana's name in my phone.
Kevin Clancy
Jacobson.
Dana Beers
I don't know why it's in there like that.
Jackie
That's like a espn.
Kevin Clancy
I was gonna say that. Woman.
Jackie
Why'd you do that?
Dana Beers
I have no idea.
Kevin Clancy
And you left it.
Dana Beers
I have no recollection of doing that. That's still it. Oh, nice. But I was like, I always go.
Kevin Clancy
Female anchor on Sports Center.
Dana Beers
I put in beers every time, like, in my text. And I'm all. And it never finds it. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. I don't know why I have Ms. Dana Jacobs.
Jackie
No. I've had people with genuine. Like, very sad to find out that's not my. My real name.
Dana Beers
You should just.
Kevin Clancy
You should legally change your name.
Jackie
I should.
Kevin Clancy
That'd be a good.
Jackie
Such a good name.
Kevin Clancy
Dana Beers.
Jackie
And that's. I saw Kevin Beers.
Kevin Clancy
No good. John Beers. Yeah.
Jackie
Yeah. There was a tweet from some guy that was, like, on barstool or something. He's like. He's like, so, like, Danny Beers or someone. I'm like, come on, get it right.
John Feitelberg
Are you ever gonna bring back the balcony bed?
Jackie
I. Okay. Well, I have breaking news. I'm sure you guys probably know about it. I am moving to Chicago.
Dana Beers
I have. That was something someone brought up at the wedding. It was like, sorry.
Jackie
I know. I love everyone here. I just. I think, career wise, it's smart.
Dana Beers
I was like, oh, yeah. I think I knew that, but I don't know if I did.
Jackie
Yes. So I'm officially going after the wedding, and I am talking to a realtor. And I said, I need a balcony.
Kevin Clancy
Only thing that matters. We've got a zero bedroom.
Dana Beers
Yes.
Kevin Clancy
200 square foot. Is there a balcony? I'm in.
Jackie
She was like, what are your musts? I'm like, balcony. A good living room. Like, I need a balcony of one. That was the peak of my life.
Kevin Clancy
Balcony bed.
Jackie
Yeah. What's the plan in Chicago? Not much now.
Dana Beers
Are you and Francis gonna keep doing your thing?
Jackie
Yeah, we're gonna. So Big Cat said he would definitely fly me back to do it and, like, bang out a bunch for the month.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Jackie
Backlog. And then come back. But I don't know. I just. I think being, like, in a locker room environment is good for me, you know? As you know, I'm just kind of, like, better when there's a lot of shit happening.
Kevin Clancy
Chaos, thriving. Chaos.
Jackie
Yeah. I I feel like just being around stuff that's, like, stupid. Like, I. I enjoy stupid shit and there's always stupid shit going on there. Like, dumb shit that I feel like I would do well with.
Dana Beers
I agree.
Jackie
That's. I don't know. I. I feel like when you look up like a Chicago guy drinking beers.
Kevin Clancy
At Wrigley, like, you honestly, like, should be from Chicago.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
So brats and like that.
Jackie
Yeah. It's gonna be. You know, we'll see what happens. But I have some ideas on the works. But I. I definitely don't want to stop doing this stuff with Francis because.
Kevin Clancy
Like, that is so fun. I think it's, like, actually the funniest thing.
Jackie
Of course, I actually told him this morning and he was like, yeah, like, do what you got to do. But we should definitely, definitely keep it up. And.
Dana Beers
Yeah, I. I get. That's one of the shows at Barcelona. I get people talking to me the most about.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah, it's good.
Jackie
It's awesome. And it doesn't really. It doesn't do that well, like, views wise. But I love doing it. No, not really. Like, on Instagram. It does well.
Dana Beers
But. But that. That's what, like, everything's just a clip show now.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Also, like, well, is so relative, man. It's just like, you know, when, for better or worse, we're around people that do monster, monster views, and it's like, there are people who would kill.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
To do the numbers you're doing, you.
John Feitelberg
Know, the first year of anything, you can't really look at.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
But it's like, I feel really good about it, and that's all that really matters to me. It's just, we don't. We never asked for promotion or anything. We're just like, we're just gonna do this.
Kevin Clancy
That's the other thing is, I think being able to stand on your own, too.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
At like, this level of views versus, like, if it. Barstool's pumping it every day and it's up here. It's like, yeah, well, I'd rather be.
Jackie
We don't have any resources, just me setting up cameras and. Yeah, I think so.
Kevin Clancy
It's just like, like, also, honestly, in general, with content, we've kind of reached a point where it's like, some things get sold really well, other things don't get sold really well. Whatever the reason is for that. I don't know. But it's like, I don't know. Your job is to make content. You're making content. It's funny. People like it.
Jackie
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Whether you know, it's got a bunch of sponsors or this out of the other. It's like, that's technically not really your job as long as. And it seems to not really matter. I mean, of course, you got to make the money. Company. The company money. If you do better, everyone does better. All that. I'm not saying you shouldn't care about monetizing, but it's like you've been around long enough where it's like, sometimes I've had things that smash hit zillion beers, other times things that don't work, but, like, you're not going anywhere. Do what you like and what's good, and eventually I'll fall into place.
Jackie
Yeah, I mean, I. I love it here. I just want to. I think I need a little fresh start.
Kevin Clancy
I feel like that bag, bro.
Jackie
I mean, not yet, but hopefully. I'm kind of just hoping to get, like, a little kickstart for my career, because I. I feel a little bit flatlined right now, where I'm just coming in, doing my stuff, putting it out.
Kevin Clancy
Are you on a content contract or a product?
Jackie
I think my contract. I think it says senior video producer slash content, Whatever that means.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah. I mean, titles aren't really a thing here, but I do think sometimes when it's like, are you making content?
Jackie
I report to Dave. I know that.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Jackie
So, yeah, content. But I don't know. I mean, I. I just want a little fresh start, and fiance wants a fresh start to do something new. So we're gonna do it.
Kevin Clancy
Is she from. Where's she from?
Jackie
She's from New York, so she's never left here, so it's a whole new thing for her. And it's a little scary, but it's exciting.
Dana Beers
Yeah.
Kevin Clancy
Yeah.
Dana Beers
I think you're gonna be great.
Jackie
Yeah. And we also will be here. Like, we're definitely coming back a lot because her job is, like, she still needs to be in once a month for her.
Dana Beers
Oh, really?
Jackie
I'll be in New York and still chopping it up. So please don't hate me too much, bro. I don't want to leave everyone. I love everyone.
Kevin Clancy
If anybody hates anybody for making a career choice, like, if you were to leave Barcelona.
Jackie
I don't know. I don't want to. I don't want to ruffle any feathers. I know there's the two offices, and, you know, I don't want to be like, oh, Dana's leaving New York.
Kevin Clancy
You know, if there are people who have a problem. Problem with that. It's like, anybody. If you just, like, go to another company. It's like, yeah, you got to do what's best for you.
Jackie
Yeah. But that's the plan. I mean, we'll see what happens. But I'm excited.
Kevin Clancy
And Dana, Beers take Chicago.
Jackie
It's kind of regular bleachers that I.
Kevin Clancy
Was gonna say you almost need the series should be like, like transplant Chicago, man. Like, finds his way home.
Dana Beers
You know what I mean?
Kevin Clancy
Like, like you were separated at birth. Like, you were actually born in Chicago from a Chicago family. Didn't know it. You have Chicago roots. The African American who joins up Chicago.
Jackie
I kind of wish I didn't say that.
Kevin Clancy
I just want a clip of Dana going. I am African American at the next Black Lives Matter rally. Eating a hot dog, drinking a beer.
Jackie
Holy.
Kevin Clancy
All right, man. Good, dude. I'm happy for you. Congrats on everybody.
Jackie
Much I appreciate it, you guys.
Dana Beers
Thank you, brother.
Kevin Clancy
We're going to miss you, man.
Dana Beers
Catch you soon. Yeah.
Jackie
Sa.
Podcast Summary: KFC Radio – "Dana Beers Announces His Move to Chicago - Full Interview"
Introduction
In this lively episode of KFC Radio, hosted by Kevin Clancy and John Feitelberg, along with regular contributors Jackie and guest Dana Beers, the conversation takes an entertaining dive into studio antics, hypothetical battles, personal anecdotes, and culminates in a significant announcement about Dana's relocation. Released on May 1, 2025, this episode encapsulates the quintessential Barstool Sports humor and camaraderie, enriched with listener interactions and spontaneous discussions.
1. Studio Stories: The Rotten Banana
The episode kicks off with a humorous recounting of a bizarre discovery in the studio. Kevin Clancy shares his experience of finding a two-month-old rotten banana behind the couch:
Kevin Clancy [01:05]: "But last week I found behind the couch over there in the corner what has to be like a two-month-old banana. It was so old and rotten. It like fossilized. It like calcified... I threw it at her face."
John Feitelberg and Dana Beers join in the laughter, elaborating on the absurdity of the situation, highlighting the relaxed and playful atmosphere of the show.
2. Hypothetical Showdowns: Gorilla vs. 100 Men
A significant portion of the episode delves into a listener-submitted hypothetical scenario debating whether a gorilla could defeat 100 men. The hosts and Dana engage in a spirited discussion, analyzing the physical capabilities and strategies involved.
Dana Beers [06:15]: "If 100 men commit to the cause, it doesn't matter. I don't care what hundred it is. We win."
Kevin Clancy introduces a listener’s perspective on the topic, questioning the plausibility of such a battle:
Kevin Clancy [07:07]: "I got a DM from somebody talking about it, and they said... Jackie is a complete accidental lunatic and it's incredible."
The conversation explores various strategies, physical strengths, and weaknesses, blending scientific insights with comedic banter.
3. Upcoming Plans: Nashville Summerfest Block Party
Breaking away from the main discussion, Brianna Chicken Fry announces an upcoming event, adding an element of promotion to the episode:
Brianna Chicken Fry [08:00]: "Barstool Nashville is hosting the Summerfest block party on Friday, May 16 and Saturday, May 17... featuring artists like Galantis, Loud Luxury, Young Gravy..."
This announcement serves as a bridge between the hosts' casual conversations and the broader Barstool community activities.
4. Personal Challenges and Anecdotes
The hosts share personal stories that resonate with everyday experiences. Jackie discusses a cooking challenge related to measuring ingredients without the proper tools:
Jackie [22:00]: "I had to put a cup and 3/4 of water into a pan and I only had the 3/4 cup. I couldn't figure out how to do that."
The discussion evolves into solving the problem, demonstrating the hosts' knack for turning mundane tasks into engaging content.
Dana Beers opens up about his experience with Ozempic, a medication for weight management, highlighting personal growth and health journeys:
Dana Beers [31:43]: "When I started prescribing this medicine, I'm gonna prove to him it doesn't work."
These anecdotes provide a relatable layer to the episode, allowing listeners to connect with the hosts' personal lives.
5. Relationship Dynamics and Personal Growth
The conversation shifts towards relationships, self-perception, and mutual support among the hosts. Kevin Clancy and Jackie discuss the importance of having a supportive partner:
Jackie [38:53]: "She supports me through everything, which is all I could ask for."
They delve into topics like self-image, the impact of media portrayals, and the balance between personal and professional lives within relationships.
6. Announcing Dana Beers' Move to Chicago
The highlight of the episode is Dana Beers' announcement about his upcoming move to Chicago after his wedding. This revelation sparks a mix of surprise, support, and speculative banter among the hosts.
Jackie [75:56]: "I am moving to Chicago."
Dana Beers explains his decision as a strategic career move, aiming for a fresh start while maintaining his involvement with existing projects:
Dana Beers [76:14]: "I think, career-wise, it's smart."
The group discusses the potential impact of Dana’s move on his role within Barstool, expressing both excitement and concern for his future endeavors.
7. Conclusion
As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the day's conversations, reinforcing their bond and the show's commitment to authenticity and humor. Kevin Clancy commends Dana on his decision, emphasizing the supportive environment of the Barstool community:
Kevin Clancy [81:48]: "We're going to miss you, man."
Dana Beers responds with gratitude, assuring listeners of his continued connection despite the geographical shift:
Dana Beers [81:50]: "Catch you soon."
Notable Quotes and Highlights
Final Thoughts
This episode of KFC Radio masterfully blends humor, personal stories, and engaging discussions, culminating in an important personal announcement from Dana Beers. The hosts' ability to navigate through various topics while maintaining an entertaining and relatable atmosphere underscores the show's enduring appeal. Whether reminiscing about rotten bananas, debating hypothetical battles, or supporting a friend's major life change, KFC Radio delivers a compelling and enjoyable listening experience for both loyal fans and new listeners alike.