LeMaire Lee Gives KFC A One Minute Man Rebrand + Beach House Week 3 Recap - Full Episode

Summary

---

KFC Radio – "LeMaire Lee Gives KFC A One Minute Man Rebrand + Beach House Week 3 Recap"

Date: August 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively and unfiltered episode, hosts KFC (Kevin Clancy) and Feitelberg are joined by comedian LeMaire Lee and the Beach House crew—including Tommy, Jackie, Una, LeMaire, and others—for a sprawling, vulgar, and often hilarious discussion of pop culture, internet trends, sports fandom, masculinity, sex, and behind-the-scenes Barstool antics. The show covers LeMaire’s pitch for a KFC rebrand, recaps the chaos of Beach House Week 3, and dives into all sorts of personal and cultural oddities, including trends in body image, reality TV, and more. As usual, the conversation is tangential, deeply candid, and full of offbeat insight and humor.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. LeMaire Lee’s Visit & the “Boy Gossip” Rebrand

• LeMaire's Background:
  • LeMaire shares origins in comedy in Pennsylvania, ties with Shane Gillis, and moving from Philly to Austin.
  • On Austin's heat:
    "Austin's too hot for me, man. The heat is just right up in your face." (01:04)
• "One Minute Man" Rebranding as "Boy Gossip" (03:00–08:00):
  • LeMaire ribs KFC for his "boy gossip" videos, likening them to TMZ for guys.
  • The group reflects on how sports fandom is essentially "boy gossip," comparing it to Marvel fans:
    "Sports fans are dorks. They just think they're cool. You're just a Marvel nerd!" – Feitelberg (04:47)
  • Memorable quote:
    "If you can name more than three guys on a team, you're gay." – Billy McCusker, via LeMaire (06:27)

2. Video Games, Tech, & Nerd-Culture Content at Barstool

• LeMaire pitches the need for more tech/video game content at Barstool, suggesting a show inspired by “Attack of the Show” and mocking up “Street Fighter Pizza Rolls.”
• KFC laments that Dave Portnoy isn’t into video games, limiting this kind of expansion at Barstool (09:19–09:35).
• The crew jokes about internet coolness and wanting free tech to review; KFC shares an anecdote about pre-ordering a (possibly dubious) fast-charging iPhone dock (11:24–12:40).

3. Furries, Sexual Trends, and Body Image

• Discussion of furry conventions and the group’s collective inability to get into it for sexual reasons.
  • "I think I will try almost literally any kink in the world. I don't think I could do furries." – KFC (13:42)
• The group’s preferences between “ass guy” and “titty guy” are debated at length, with special mention of Sydney Sweeney’s impact on body trends:
  • "The Internet was an ass community for a while. Eventually you get sick of that, you become a titty guy." – Feitelberg (14:35)
• Jackie and Una share their personal struggles with body trends, shrinking/lopsided boobs, and how social pressures affect both men and women.
  • "Apparently it's like the left tit's always bigger because it protects the heart, which is cool." – Una (18:44)

4. Beach House Week 3 Recap & Pop Reality

• Jackie’s “wedding” at the beach house is celebrated, having been officiated by JWoww of Jersey Shore—an "iconic bucket list" moment (28:30–29:00).
• The crew discusses the thin line between content stunts and reality, referencing viral mishaps such as someone getting cited for public urination (35:41–36:00).
• The Beach House dynamic:
  • Casual relationships, hookups, jealousy, and competitive behavior are dissected (53:00–55:09).
  • The group ponders if Barstool would ever do a “true” reality show featuring the male comedian crew, ultimately agreeing it would be constant inside-joke arguments (55:59–56:09).

5. Current Culture & “Woke” Outrage

• Expressing bemusement at the over-politicization of brand changes—especially the Cracker Barrel logo, and its minimalistic redesign becoming a front in the "woke wars":
  • "They changed the Cracker Barrel logo and people were like, this is woke." – KFC (42:22)
• The group riffs on the absurdity of outrage cycles and how companies manipulate public reaction for profit (44:04–44:15).

6. Tiger King, Trash Culture, and the Reality TV Zeitgeist

• Discussion turns to the wild success of Tiger King during the pandemic:
  • "I think we hit rock bottom as a culture with Tiger King." – KFC (46:39)
• Debates over the morality of putting certain figures on a pedestal and how trash TV united the world for a brief moment:
  • "That was the last time we were together as a people. Everybody watched Tiger King and was like, this guy's nuts." – LeMaire (48:29)

7. The Creator Economy, Streaming, and OnlyFans

• The panel notes the shift of attention and money from Hollywood to streamers/online creators:
  • "It makes sense why Mr. Beast gets paid... you're literally begging for attention." – Jackie (49:44–50:11)
• The group explores the economics and psychology of OnlyFans, gateway professions, and the gender gap in online monetization:
  • "If you're failing at OnlyFans, you have to unalive yourself." – LeMaire (71:11)

8. Show Plugs, Stand-up, and Creative Pitches

• LeMaire promotes his tour (lydotfun.com), and pitches a multicam sitcom about a single mom becoming a garbage truck driver—earning genuine interest from the hosts (67:11–67:45).
• The idea of a staged "divorce" at the Beach House, Judge-The Situation style, is floated for content (72:32–72:46).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Boy Gossip and Masculinity:
  • "Being a sports fan is not masculine. If your team can make you cry..." – LeMaire (06:54)
• The Ongoing “Sexual Trends” Bit:
  • "I look down, I'm like, that was bad. Boy, emotion is nice." – Feitelberg, on boobs (14:35)
• Reality TV Self-Awareness:
  • "It really is just like waves, tides—just constantly hitting: fuck me, no, fuck me, no. And she finally just let the wave hit her." – KFC, on Beach House hookups (55:01)
• On Content Saturation:
  • "We all just become barkers for attention...everyone's standing on a corner, like, 'free show!'" – Feitelberg (49:19)
• On OnlyFans Success:
  • "If you're pretty, you'll succeed." – Feitelberg (71:02)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:00]–[08:00]: LeMaire teases KFC about "Boy Gossip" & sports fandom as gossip
• [09:19]–[12:40]: Video game culture at Barstool, KFC's tech investments
• [13:31]–[15:42]: Furry kink talk, titty vs. ass discourse, Sydney Sweeney’s impact
• [18:17]–[19:40]: Real talk on lopsided boobs, body image from female cast
• [28:30]–[31:03]: Beach House “wedding” & viral clips, Jackie/JWoww story
• [42:17]–[44:25]: Cracker Barrel/woke outrage
• [46:39]–[49:11]: Tiger King and the pandemic pop culture moment
• [49:44]–[50:49]: Streamers & creator economy vs. Hollywood
• [53:00]–[55:09]: Reality show relationships, female competitiveness, Beach House drama
• [67:11]–[67:45]: LeMaire pitches multicam sitcom, single-mom-garbage-truck premise
• [72:32]–[72:46]: Plan for a staged divorce reality bit at Beach House finale

---

Closing Thoughts

As ever, KFC Radio delivers freewheeling and boundary-pushing conversation where pop culture, personal embarrassment, and internet realities collide. In this episode:

• LeMaire Lee acts as both guest comedian and creative pitchman, sparking lively discussions about content, masculinity, internet trends, and more.
• The Beach House cast gives a candid behind-the-scenes look at reality TV creation, with insights into personal relationships, body image, and the pressures of the content machine.
• The show remains a window into Barstool’s culture of humor, competition, and occasional accidental wisdom, reminding listeners that nothing is too absurd—or too real—to riff about at the Barstool table.

---

Transcript

[A]

Hey, KFC Radio listeners. You can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[B]

They were like, oh, we should call like, your real dad. And I was like, I don't want to, like, subject him to that. And then we were all just like, I wish that there was somebody else. And we were like, oh, you're fake dad. I think I actually said, call my gay dad.

[A]

Lamizi's in the building. Lamar is here up from Austin, so. So we now have Tommy, Jackie, Una and Lamar. It's a whole family affair here. How we doing, man?

[C]

I'm good, dude. I'm having a damn hoot.

[A]

I love every time I talk to you, it's gonna be a hoot.

[C]

I'm really excited.

[A]

How is it Austin treating you? We were just saying, like, I mean, Austin's too hot for me, man. I feel like the heat is right.

[C]

Now not your favorite freaking hot.

[A]

Yeah, cuz, like, August in Austin is not my jam.

[C]

Yeah, I gave. It was 20 degrees, like colder out here, and I was like, whoa. I wore a long sleeve shirt one day. I was like, I can't do this in Texas.

[B]

Are you live in Philly before?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I used Philly. That's how you know Shane. Just from my Philly life.

[C]

We started comedy together, like, central Pennsylvania, like. But then he went away to Spain and came back and then we started becoming friends.

[D]

Are you from Harrisburg too?

[C]

Like Lancaster?

[D]

I was sitting at a bar the other day and talking to a guy sitting next to me, and he just started telling me he went to high school with Shane Gillis. I was like, oh, cool, dude.

[A]

Yeah. But Lancaster's like closer to Philly, right?

[C]

Like, no, it's probably about the. No, it's close to Harrisburg. It's like an hour away. Might be an hour and a half away from Philly.

[A]

I thought that was close.

[D]

Dude. I. I was driving upstate this weekend. I went up to Greer's wedding and went through Pennsylvania. How? I thought you get to New York. Upstate New York. Like, I was on the gps, like.

[A]

Cuts into it, right?

[D]

And it was like, you are now entering Pennsylvania. And I was like, I'm not going the right way.

[A]

Terribly wrong. Wait, because.

[B]

Because it has like a cut in.

[D]

I get it.

[A]

I think that part of New York that kind of juts out Pennsylvania kind of goes into it. So you go like through. I think it's like altun geography. Not our cruise strongest.

[E]

When we did Most Dangerous game show, everyone was like, oh, it's in Pennsylvania. It's in Pennsylvania. And then we got to the house and it was technically in New York. And we were like, they kidnapped us.

[A]

What are we about to do?

[D]

They're not where we said, we are on the border. It was just like, on the border. We were, like, freaking out. We're like, what did Rome do to us?

[C]

Set us up. Yeah, I got beef with you guys in room. Speaking of that. Dude, what the hell?

[A]

Yeah. Wait, what? You said we have beef, and then you also said you have to make fun of me for something. What?

[C]

Oh, yeah. I was going to make fun of your videos.

[A]

What video? Which one?

[C]

You do boy gossip.

[D]

Yeah, that. I mean, it's.

[A]

It's like TMZ for dudes, what people call it.

[D]

Wait, I. I actually, funny, I was thinking of it the other day where, like, sports are just boy gossip.

[A]

Totally.

[D]

I was. I've started getting back into the socks.

[A]

It's.

[D]

It's about time that I was, like, started focusing on the socks, and I was like. I was like, oh, it's just the new cast, like, paid that close attention to the socks in, like, five years or so. And. And I was like, oh, well, I still know all the lore of the team. It's just a new cast.

[A]

That's actually what makes me. It's hard for me to still get as excited, upset, whatever, because I'm just like, the. The Mets have a bullpen problem. No, none of this is new. You know, it's. It's just as you get older, it's harder to like.

[B]

Or.

[A]

Or maybe made me think that, like, you know, reinventing. It's like, now you are excited because it's a season, you know, new season.

[D]

It was like, I was like. I was watching it last night and. And obviously last night didn't go great for the socks, but I was like, what a gift it is to be a sports fan. Like, you can just like, tap in and tap out when, like, I. I haven't paid attention to socks in five years. I was locked in this.

[A]

Well, you. You absolutely can, but the people who think that you can't are the problem.

[D]

Well, that's okay. Yeah.

[A]

You know, it's like, you should be able to.

[D]

You guys can yell at the wall all you want. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You know what's weird about sports is, like, it's the only thing where, like, if. If you just said, I like that movie, people wouldn't be like, well, but did you. Did you break down the cinematography? Did you look at, like, the credits, like, sports Is like, oh, I like that. Unless you watch every single inning, every single pitch. Do you, you know, analyze it? No, I just. I'm not as crazy as you are.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

Marvel and, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They'll break it down. They'll be like, Easter eggs. Yeah.

[A]

Marvel fans are like the sports fans of movies.

[D]

Yeah. Sports fans are dorks. Yeah.

[A]

Sportsman.

[D]

That's my problem with sportsman. Sports fans got to be like, Like. But then everything's math.

[A]

They think they're. They. They don't realize it.

[D]

They still think they're, like, cool. Yeah. You're just. You're a Marvel nerd. Yeah. Watching a Easter egg breakdown. And I really like it. I like watching it. I don't want to talk about it that much.

[C]

Fantasy sports turned sports into video games.

[A]

That true? Yeah, that's true, too.

[D]

I've never heard it crystallized like that. Yes. Thank you.

[A]

They're the same guys that would turn around and tell, like, a video game nerd. Like, you're a door. No, we are. Same thing with, like, the boy gossip stuff. People will be like, why are you talking about the Kardashians? And I'm like, why are you worried about what his wife or girlfriend is saying to the clubhouse and, like, who she slept with? All these, like, little story lines are just as gossipy. It just happens to be with your sports team. So you think you make you tough or what? What was Billy's line? Billy. Billy McCusker.

[D]

Were you at that game? I went. I went to a Eagles Kang.

[B]

Sorry, sorry.

[A]

I think.

[D]

I think you were there with us. It was the Eagle. It was a Monday night game. It was Eagles, Vikings.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It was like, Shane, Tommy, Ron.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I think you were there. McCusker was there. There were a couple other people there. I forget who else, but I. I met Billy McCusker for the first time, and I was like, he. He looked like he just came off the job site. He had on, like, the work boots and, like, he had dust all over him.

[C]

That's just how he dresses.

[D]

Yeah, I know, right? But I was like, all right, how.

[C]

Can I buy dust off of Amazon?

[D]

But I went up to him because I was like, I was just, you know, just chatting with people, and I was like, are you a big Eagles guy? And I assumed he would. He was dressed like one.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And he goes, dude, if you can name more than three guys on a team, you're gay. Yeah, I never really heard it said like that either, but that kind of makes sense. It was. I'd forgotten. There's another Le level of masculinity above sports fan, which is just like, I don't even care about sports. That's how big.

[A]

Like. Like, it's. We think of it as that, but it's really. It's right there with. We think of it as, like, the highest. Like, masculine.

[D]

It's not. It's not.

[A]

It's all perception.

[C]

Being a sports fan is not masculine. If your team can make you cry.

[D]

Yes. That's not masculine.

[A]

Yeah. Like, when I think about how much. How affected I am by. I'm like, that is so gay. That is not tough. That is not like. That is so lame. It's unbelievable. But, yeah, boy gossip's where it's at, bro.

[C]

Yeah, no, I like it. I watch the video, like, sipping tea.

[A]

Maybe.

[D]

Maybe I'll just.

[A]

Maybe I'll just rebrand.

[D]

Boy gossip.

[A]

Boy gossip's way better hook. Like, when people are like, well, what is it, boy gossip? If I right now, I be like, well, it's. It's pop culture recap. It's boy gossip. I might change my.

[D]

You might just change the game, bro.

[A]

You ain't going to see a dime.

[D]

This is all mine now. We're burning the footage.

[A]

Came up with this myself.

[C]

I got to tell you about the pitch deck I made, and I think you guys ignored it.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

He sent the deck to make.

[C]

Yeah, he said he pass along. He didn't help, but that's okay.

[A]

I don't doubt that it was passed along. I think it just went.

[D]

What was the.

[C]

Cuz you guys. You guys are. You guys are technically like a sect of nerds, as we just agreed.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

But you guys don't ever talk about. You guys don't do video games. You don't do technology. Like, that's a. You know, the show. Attack of the Show.

[D]

Yep. Yes.

[C]

You guys could have that.

[A]

That's. You are 100 is like a video.

[B]

Game account with, like, two point.

[A]

That's the other thing. So we had something called game time and, like, it smashed in terms of followers because there's so many people who want this. We just never really did it the right way.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's one thing that I. My, like, one of my biggest regrets is that had I not stop playing video games, I think I would be qualified, informed, and good enough to be the guy you're talking about. Because every time I've thought about trying to capture the exact market you're talking about, and it's just like, I don't have the credibility or the skills or, you know, whatever.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

I feel like credibility is transferable.

[A]

Like, you think so?

[C]

Yeah, Especially nowadays.

[A]

I just feel like, like.

[D]

But it's also like. I think it's just the credibility comes with, like, just like. Look, I don't. I'm not great at this, but I'm gonna start playing, and let's figure it out together.

[A]

Do people watch that, though? I feel like people either want someone who's, like, good at the game. No.

[C]

Don't watch you guys do anything.

[A]

Yeah, I guess so. I guess so.

[C]

Watch that. You guys are doing Love Island.

[D]

Why don't you guys do it way different? It's way more sophisticated than.

[A]

Yeah, no, I. Listen, there's absolutely a market for that. The only problem is, at the end of the day, all things at barstool kind of go through Dave.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's like, not video game guy. And so he doesn't like. Yeah. You know, even. There were times where maybe if there's.

[C]

Video games about pizza, what we need.

[A]

Is a video game about Dave. You play as Dave.

[D]

Then he would love video games. That sounds incredible.

[A]

I played 80 hours. All right, well, good to know, though. Maybe. Maybe row can resurface that or something.

[C]

Dude, it was called street fighter pizza rolls. I made a logo and everything.

[A]

Street fighter pizza rolls.

[C]

Yeah, it was nice.

[A]

Boy, gossip is street fighter pizza roll. Maybe I'm rewatching Mad men right now. Maybe you should just be, like, an ad guy rolling with some brandy, a cigar. Like, I got ideas.

[D]

I'm ideas man. Going full.

[C]

That's what Matt says. Matt says I'm a ideas man.

[D]

Know. Matt says.

[C]

Yeah, he says he got me on retainer for ideas.

[A]

I mean, maybe. Maybe that's your calling, bro. Lucky strike.

[B]

Wait, did you explain what street fighter pizza rolls is?

[C]

Oh, yeah. It's just a.

[A]

Two things that are awesome.

[C]

Two things that are awesome. And it's just little. It was. You get tech. You review the tech, and. Oh, I thought of a thing where you can have, like, competitive computer building, you know, because people could build computers in, like, two hours now. And then you get like, all the.

[B]

It's so funny here that people could.

[D]

Figure out, well, take us a little longer. We're still finishing up our rocket ship. Then we'll fix it.

[A]

I feel like the other.

[C]

If you can fix a car, you can build a computer.

[A]

Well, I can't fix a car.

[D]

Perfect. Yeah, obviously.

[A]

You can change a tire. You can get to the moon. I will challenge that theory. The thing about doing the Tech stuff, though, is if you get big enough, like, I feel like you just get all that. Right. They, like, give it to you to review, and then it's like, well, rich people make money to buy cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If you just get the cool. And when I see those.

[C]

That was the point. I wanted the cool and I wanted to use you guys to get cool.

[A]

You know what? I bought something cool recently. I haven't gotten it yet. I. There's. It's called Skip it, I think. SK I P P I T. Like the game. No, it's a. It looks like a toaster, and you put your iPhone in it and charges it in five seconds. It's just like ba boom, boom, boom.

[B]

What?

[A]

And although I have a sneaking suspicion that what it is is there's just batteries in there and you're kind of like plugging a battery into your phone. You know what I mean?

[B]

So it's five minutes.

[A]

Sorry, what?

[B]

Just like in five minutes, seconds, it's.

[A]

Like, boom, boom, boom, boom. It's like, in, out. Your phone is charged. So I bought it. I paid for it. Like, it was like a Kickstarter. It didn't exist yet. I paid, like 500 bucks for it, like, years ago. And it's been in development all this time. I totally forgot about it. I got an email from them. I might have said this on the air. I don't know if I did. They emailed me and they said it took so long that there's, like, new iPhones out and this is only going to be compatible with the newest iPhone. And they're like, we're going to send you a new iPhone because you're one of the, like, early. Yeah, they were like, you're one of our first, like, adopters, so we'll send you an iPhone that's compatible with it. And my. I think it's coming out, like, at some point in September, but my phone, like, crapped. Crapped out like, yesterday. So I was like. I was like, can I make it? And I was like, it might come out in September, but it keeps getting pushed back.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So I went and bought a new phone yesterday. I guarantee tomorrow they're going to be like, it's coming. But my whole point of bringing this up is like, it was. It was one of those things featured at that, like, tech conference where they unveil. Yeah, they unveil all the new. And that stuff is like, you're living in the future, man.

[C]

Bro, you guys got an office in Chicago. That's where it happens.

[A]

I didn't Know that. That's this.

[D]

You know, Cuz they got the. The Fermi labs there.

[C]

The what lab?

[D]

The Fermilab.

[A]

What's the Fermilab?

[D]

After the famous physicist.

[A]

Oh, of course.

[D]

Yeah. They got the world's biggest collider there.

[C]

I thought you said.

[A]

Why do you know this?

[D]

The guy I talked to on the plane.

[A]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. That'.

[C]

Thought you said furry land.

[A]

I said fur.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Dude, this mascot show changed your life.

[B]

Apparently Pittsburgh is the hot spot for furries.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

They had fire Delphia in Philadelphia this weekend.

[B]

Because I go every single. No, because it's like the furry convention is there.

[C]

Yeah, they just had one in Philly this weekend. Really?

[A]

A furry, furry convention? I think I will try almost like literally any kink in the world. I don't think I could do furries.

[D]

I.

[A]

Well, or I could. Like.

[D]

Six months ago, I had a different answer.

[E]

Fights in that cookie monster.

[A]

I could do it for like, for fun. Like, I'd laugh. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll put on this hell, this hat and like, we'll do it. But if you wanted me to like, be sexually into it, I don't think.

[D]

I can fake that.

[A]

I can fake almost anything. I'd be like, what are we doing?

[E]

I gotta see the boobs.

[D]

I got to see a girl's boobs. How am I going to have sex with.

[E]

I can't see your boobs.

[A]

I got to see, though. Like you.

[D]

I got see the boobs.

[A]

You might be nine years old, bro.

[D]

I. I have recently become a titty guy. Well, I've always been a tick guy. Welcome.

[A]

I did too.

[D]

I've been a T guy for like, like, like five, ten years now. Like, we, we. The Internet was an ass community for a while. Eventually you get sick of that, you become a titty guy. I started looking at titties recently during sex. Unbelievable, right? Good. I look down like, that was bad. Boy, emotion is nice.

[A]

It kind of gets in like. It's almost like physics. They go up and down, but they go in and out.

[D]

Collider at the Fermilab.

[C]

It's like a speed bag.

[A]

You got time to get the rhythm in, you know? Said when you're.

[E]

When you're.

[A]

A boy.

[E]

When you're a kid, you're. You like tits, right? Maybe it's psychological.

[A]

My theory. Yeah.

[E]

And then you go to like college and you're like, oh, I'm an ass guy now. And then when you become a true man, like a dad, adult again, you're back on tits.

[D]

I never left Sloppy ones. That's my pornography. Pornhub searches. Big sloppy ones, dude.

[C]

Like when a girl lays down and they're under here, like, you know what I mean?

[A]

That's how you know like, like those are like good, real tits. They go to the armpits.

[D]

They go to the side. My kids go to my armpits.

[A]

Just, I think it's, I think you're a child if you like tits. I think you become a man and you like ass. I don't think that coming back to the tits is like the true sign that you're a man. I think it's just much like I was saying about sports.

[D]

Like, same time. Yeah, yeah, Same time frame where you're like, maybe I'll move on from sports. It is looking pretty good.

[B]

Wait, but how much do you think it has anything to play with? Like the trends? Like, I think that Sydney Sweeney, like Kim Kardashian made it ass. And then Sydney, Sweetie, yes.

[A]

She's single handedly, at the very least made me go like, Well, I, it's almost like if everyone, you know, if all your friends jump off a bridge with you, it's like, yeah, yeah. It's like, I don't know if everyone's talking about these things called tits. Maybe I should get in on those, you know, I think that feels like I'm missing out on something.

[C]

I think I'm a guy.

[A]

See, I couldn't disagree more. I, I, I feel like I don't need to see the, I don't need to see it. Like, are you saying you're into it? Like you want to see it the same way you want to see a nice butt or nice boobs.

[C]

I like, I would, I would take a look. I take a look. Let me see what's going on down there.

[D]

Like it's behind the shower curtain at night. Just take a peek, make sure nothing real bad's back there.

[A]

You got a bean. You got a bean in there.

[C]

I spilled a bunch on myself.

[D]

It happens, bro.

[A]

Are, do you guys think of it as like, well, I mean, in, in this company here, you guys are pretty, probably pretty pumped when tits are like, love it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like Sydney Sweeney is our.

[F]

I was gonna say, like, for me and Jackie, I feel like we want to ride this tits wave.

[A]

Everybody here wants to ride the tits wave.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like, like it's, it's really dependent. You're really at the mercy of like whoever's famous.

[B]

I feel like, I feel like for the past few years, I was like, you guys, you're missing out. I know.

[D]

Well, it's actually, I guess it's kind of women's dealing with the trends of men where it's like a rat face or rat boy or whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And you're like, well, I don't look like a rat, so I can't really do anything with that one.

[B]

I kind of am going through the whole thing with my tits, though, right now.

[D]

I don't.

[A]

Are you guys like, you and your sister?

[B]

If I really want to dive into.

[A]

My tits, these are the reduced versions.

[B]

These are the. The reduced.

[A]

Which is saying, you know, I don't.

[C]

Want to hear about these tits.

[A]

Get these tits.

[D]

Tell me about that. Wait, wait.

[A]

What are you going through with your tits?

[B]

It's just like, just. I'm just not vibing with them. Recently, like, they've been smaller. They've been like, shrinking for no reason. And then, like. And then, like, lopsided. We've talked about.

[F]

Oh, don't get me started on that.

[B]

And then just like, taggy.

[C]

But the lopside isn't. The lopsidedness is natural.

[A]

I was gonna say everybody seems to have a bigger.

[C]

Just trying to help out for yourself.

[A]

Thank you so much. I feel how they say everyone almost. I think, like, almost everyone has one leg a little bit longer than the other one. Yeah, that's like.

[B]

Apparently it's like the left hit's always bigger because it protects the heart, which is cool.

[A]

Are your TIS 50 of like, what.

[F]

Jackie and I talk about when no one's filming is just our tits. Like, literally half of what we talk about. I'm like, oh, like, this one's bigger. And Jackie will be like, mine are lopsided too. And it's like culture appropriation because, like, no, they're not compared to mine. And I. I said in a clip this weekend that, like, like, one time I asked my ex boyfriend, like, if he could tell that mine were two different sizes, and he said, only when you're on top.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's when you get the best. Bobby Altoff, like, launched a career from heaven.

[D]

That's like, can you tell the guy was in bounds rouse? Only on instant replay. Yeah, I got the eagle.

[A]

They use the thing they use in tennis to recreate them. I. I mean, I'm sure it's a. A long and complicated relationship between a girl and her boobs. Yeah, I. I don't think anybody else realizes.

[C]

They don't get it, dude. They can like, they can, like, they can change your tits. You get a dick, you gotta live with it.

[A]

Yeah, that is true. I mean, they can change your dick. It's just a horrendously crazy invasive.

[C]

If you get a dick surgery, you're gay very much.

[B]

That's also kind of. The other thing is, like, I. I feel like the way that you guys, like, want to take a peek at the boobs. Like, I don't really know if girls are. I don't know. I'm not trying to take a peek at the dick.

[A]

No, you guys don't really have much it takes to, like, look at, like. I mean, there are hot guys who are, like, in shape, but the average guy is not giving you much visually.

[B]

I feel like it takes, like, obviously, like, it takes like five times to really, like, take in the dick.

[A]

Five times.

[B]

Like, like. Because everything's just kind of a blur at first. You're just like, all right.

[A]

It'S a brawl.

[D]

Like, it's just head down swing.

[F]

But I didn't look at it this weekend. I was like, have you seen every single dick you've had sex with? And everyone answered, like, it was a crazy question. I stand by it. I don't think I have.

[D]

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

[A]

I've never.

[D]

I've not seen.

[A]

That's what I mean. Like, it's not a visual. God, no. Everyone thought it was crazy.

[C]

I've probably seen half of no idea oral.

[A]

You guys don't respect you.

[F]

But, like, even then, I don't, like, look much.

[A]

If you really think about it, you're looking at, like, the.

[F]

I've seen a lot more lower stuff.

[A]

I've seen a lot more lower stomach than I have.

[C]

That's all girls are looking at for me.

[B]

You know, it's like, it's like spiders. Like, they're more scared of you than you are of it. Like, when I'm sucking dick, like, I'm. I'm focused. I'm trying to do my job, get my job done. And then so then, like, by the time, like, I actually am taking in your dick, I'm already probably, like, I've had sex and I'm already, like, emotionally invested. You're fine.

[D]

You're fine. You build a bond with the dick.

[B]

Exactly.

[E]

Get to know it.

[A]

We are in the middle of a bluechew revolution. Revolution, folks. It's not just a tablet, as they say. It's an erection resurrection where every guy is learning the power of bluechew. There's really no reason why anybody, guys or girls, should be having bad sex anymore. You shouldn't be insecure about your abilities, your size, your performance. They have stuff to help you. And there used to maybe be stigma. Now there's no stigma. Everyone knows about it. They're on every podcast. Everybody knows the name Bluechew. Everybody knows the deal. And everybody's sex life can just get better. It's crazy if you're not doing that, even if you are good at sex, make it better. Just, like, do you want this thing that everybody loves and does all the time to be better?

[D]

Yeah. It's like ketchup for french fries.

[A]

That one is not for free. You gotta upload Bluechew. It's like ketchup for your day.

[D]

Yeah, look, they're good individually, but put it together. Oh, my.

[A]

Bluechew right now is offering the first month for free. When you go to bluechew.com and use promo code KFC, you'll. Every time you have sex will be better. Every time the girls are in the group chat talking about you, your dick, your performance, that'll be better. The ladies are happy, you're happy, you feel more confident. I bet there's a world where if you start on Bluetooth, by the end of it, you don't even need Bluetooth anymore. But you should keep it up. Because if you go from bad to good, and then if you go from good to great, if you go from great to, like, mind blowing, you might be the best at sex ever, all because of Bluetooth. So go to bluetooth.com right now. You can find out all the details you need. Medical information, safety information. Get linked up with a licensed professional, and you can start changing your life one thrust at a time. And you can be a part of Bluetooth's mission to make sure that every guy is bricked up. So go to bluechew.com promo code KFC. Get your first month for free. All you got to do is pay $5 for the shipping, and the rest is history. That's bluetooth.com promo code KFC.

[D]

Dude, you just saying spiders reminded me that this weekend I ordered Domino's after Greer's wedding. And I got, like, cookie brownie pie as well. Of course.

[A]

Wait, wait. Okay. Like, the big cookie.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I thought you're gonna say the lava cakes.

[D]

No, no, no. I've been going with the cookie brownie. Really?

[A]

Over the lava cakes instead of both?

[D]

Nah, just. I just. Because I only end up eating half the cookie thing, too. But I play half the cookie thing, put it on the floor, went to sleep, woke up the next day, went to the wedding, came home, was like, oof. I got that cookie, pulled it out.

[A]

Wait, did you put it like under the bed? You're making it sound like you like put it.

[D]

Just put it on the floor. Just on the floor next to the bed.

[C]

Raw cookie on the floor.

[D]

Okay. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

It's not just a cook, so upgrade. Because I feel like everything's always in your sheets.

[D]

Yeah, true.

[A]

John usually wakes up with melted food in his bed, so floor is progress.

[D]

But I. I got home after Greer's wedding. I was excited. I opened the box and like it took probably two to three beats for my brain to register what I was looking at because it was so covered in bugs.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

And I gasped. Like, like, literally, like, I couldn't. My brain just couldn't. I opened it, I was like, what the hell's going on?

[A]

Why is it moving?

[D]

And then. And it was like, it was covered.

[C]

What kind of bugs though? You can eat some of them.

[D]

I'm sorry?

[A]

Insects? Ants.

[C]

You can eat those?

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say. So did it taste good or what?

[D]

I threw it. I like literally ran the hallway, put in the hal, and then I was like, well, I can't leave it there because someone's gonna get it. So I went, got out of the hallway, brought it out to a dumpster.

[A]

I was staying at like a Holiday Inn.

[D]

It wasn't. Yeah, it was. It was to be expected. I shouldn't have been leaving food on the ground.

[A]

Yeah, that's not. That's not. That's on you.

[D]

It was the worst holiday I've ever stated.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Sorry for that Cookie man rip.

[C]

I can't eat sweets. I get. If I eat sweets, I'll spiral.

[A]

Well, you can't eat sweets.

[C]

I haven't done it in so long, if I eat like cookies or cake, I'll spiral. I'll be in like a three month cake eating spiral.

[A]

Oh, like you'll eat too much of it. Yeah, yeah, I'm in the middle of that.

[C]

You can't eat sweets. What the.

[A]

Seems like you're wasting your time.

[C]

Trying to get right.

[D]

Yeah, I just say you look good.

[C]

I used to be like when I first met Shane and I used to be like 400.

[D]

Yeah, you look so.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You're down. Dude. That's great.

[C]

It's been 10 years, but whatever, bro.

[D]

You got a lot more.

[C]

265 over pandemic. But then when everything came back, I was like, time to eat.

[D]

Been waiting for this.

[A]

Yeah, so. So anyway, Tits, you know, Sydney's done a mitzvah for you guys. That's. That's Good news.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like in general, like skinny skinnies. Like back in. I feel like I see that on.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I hate that. I don't like that at all. Yeah.

[B]

But I kind of think that it's skinny.

[C]

Yeah, like no skinny's in dude.

[D]

Yeah, like low rise jeans.

[A]

Yeah, like all that. Where it's like I. I liked it. I liked the world when it was like, we're an ass world. The Kardashians are leading the charge. I didn't like when we went too far to like bbls and fake butts. But I think being curvier thicker, not like rail thin. I mean it's really. If you're an ass guy. I see these girls who are like really skinny and it's like you got the, you know, your back just goes right to your ass and it's like, what up?

[C]

How do girls. How do girls know when to like, like get the surgery or like how to figure out the surgery? Cuz I just. There was no bbls and then one day there was a million bbls. You know, like someone.

[A]

I think, I think once the technology is there, that's. You could be part of your technology show.

[D]

I used to same thing with like the leg lengthening for guys. Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy. I think, I think, I think getting the dick surgery or the, the, the height surgery is like you're gay.

[C]

I think you got to get the legs that matches your dick.

[A]

Do it all while you're down there.

[C]

It's like, knock me for two weeks.

[D]

Give me the Dak Prescott tattoo while we're down there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Become a whole doom guy.

[B]

Now the biggest like surgery that girls are talking about is the eyelid surgery.

[A]

We just talking about this cat eye thing.

[F]

Hooded eyes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I saw like an animation of that surgery. I realized that's what you are doing. And like I get that. I guess they, they like go like in your eyelids with like a hook almost. And they pull it back and they loop it around something so that your eye is kind of permanently.

[B]

This is. And like they basically like if your eyes are like hooded then it like cuts out the skin and then pushes it back.

[C]

So you get round eye surgery.

[A]

Well, well, Asian people who don't have the hooded eyelash eyelids almost do like the opposite. They're like. They want the hooded eyelash. The hooded eyelids and we're like get rid of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they just have like. It's just flat where we have the. I think having like a weird like, I think it looks weird that we have that.

[D]

Hey, yeah.

[C]

Why don't you just love yourself?

[B]

Well, we didn't think about that.

[D]

Well, now just crack the code.

[C]

I don't know. Hey, women.

[D]

Love yourself.

[C]

Coming from me, a fat.

[A]

Love yourself, love yourself. By the way, congratulations are in order for a married woman.

[D]

Oh, yes.

[A]

I actually feel bad for.

[D]

For Greer.

[A]

He had a real wedding that got overshadowed. Jackie got married. I told Jackie this. I, I think a bunch of people in that house are either too young or just never watch Jersey Shore. But jwoww marrying you at the Jersey Shore is like bucket list that I didn't even know existed type that is iconic.

[B]

I know. I feel bad because I.

[A]

That's a story for life. Life. You can tell that? Like that's your cocktail party story for life.

[B]

It was all like such a fever dream. And also it's like the whole, the whole show is kind of a fever dream that like in the moment I'm just like, all right, this is what we're doing. This is what we're doing. And now that I'm looking, I'm like.

[C]

That was your wedding a show?

[A]

Well, they're at, they're at the beach house. They're doing this like stool beach house thing. So they kind of did the sorority fraternity. Like we're gonna get married. Like it was like a. Just a fun like content thing. But you were in like a full dress that was like, you know, it wasn't just like you put on like a white tank top. You went and got a real dresser.

[D]

I think the picture. Better than the, the wish. The picture goes really, really hard.

[A]

Turn it into like a. It looks like an album cover. It's. It's artwork.

[D]

I think I saw.

[A]

You should draw that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or actually I'll have probably this girl draw it cuz she's better than you.

[D]

So I think we. I. So we saw it. Excuse me. At the bar stool table at Greer's wedding. And we were all just passing around like this pictures.

[A]

Did you guys like know that? Is that just like a picture in the moment or like, let's pose a.

[E]

I think it was JWow's idea. She was like, you guys got to get a sick photo shoot on like the Bronco.

[A]

She. She smashed it, man. That. But shout out to JWow. She, like, if you looked at her story that day, like at like nine in the morning, she was at like her son's soccer game or some. And then like you know, by, by the afternoon, she's marrying them at the beach house. Like what a Life for them.

[C]

Was it a real marriage?

[D]

No, I don't think so.

[B]

The lines are so blurred right now. I'm like, we might be actually legitimately married.

[A]

That'd be very funny if Jay. I was like, actually, I'm a justice of the peace. Yeah. That was legally behind me. You guys have to get a divorce now.

[C]

There's that one website you can go on to become a minister.

[B]

Knock it out in like an afternoon.

[A]

Yeah, even, like, so easy.

[C]

20 minutes.

[D]

It took 10 minutes.

[A]

It's all made up anyway.

[B]

That's right. That's right.

[C]

You're made up. Dude, don't talk about the Bible like that.

[A]

That was awesome content. I thought that was so good. It came out, it looked great, and it was like, fun. That's like, fun that you should be doing. That was good.

[B]

Yeah. It was also just like. There was no. No planning, really. Just all kind of. I mean, like, behind the scenes. I'm sure that they planned, like, a bunch of stuff, but it just.

[A]

So did production, like, come to you with that or how was that year?

[F]

I believe it was Bree's idea a couple weeks ago do like a white trash wedding. And then they did a poll online and, like, of who should get married. And obviously they took it.

[C]

You guys know Fish Tank?

[A]

No.

[C]

Do you know Sam Hyde? He does a thing online called Fish Tank. He's like the. As a comedian, he does this thing called Million Dollar Extreme. There's a show on Conversation canceled. They just put out new stuff. He has a thing called Fishtank Live where he just, like, psycho, like, psychologically tortures a bunch of guys.

[A]

Oh, I did.

[C]

For like $50,000.

[A]

I did learn about this.

[D]

He's stealing our business plan. Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[D]

No, no, he has.

[A]

He has maximized our business plan, bro. It's like, I just learned about this. It looks like Big Brother almost. It's like people who are just truly living 247 and you can pay like 500 bucks. And they will, like, with the person. Yeah. They're like, you're sleeping at night and they'll, like, will roll in there and like, put a live snake on you to wake you up. And someone will pay for someone to do that. Or they just make noise. They'll bother you.

[D]

It's like you're just really pays in the chat.

[A]

Yes. And it makes.

[D]

That's like the first episode of the new Black.

[A]

It is actually insanely. Yeah. Like, concerning corruption and like. But I think they're making bank. And I think it's like, probably pretty. I think when I looked at the website. It was like different squares, right? So you could watch this guy sleeping, this guy fighting this guy. I don't know, whatever it is, you know, and it's all kind of like dark web. Like anything goes, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's kind of like a really jacked up version of what you guys are doing.

[E]

I mean, how much different is it than plumber and mincy bobbing for apples?

[D]

Yeah, I wasn't referring to strictly the beach house. I just mentioned in general, but it's.

[A]

It'S, it's just making money. It's like, you know, somebody would have paid, you know, 500 bucks for you to.

[C]

What are you gonna do in the.

[A]

Winter with the beach house?

[C]

I mean, you can't go to the beach house.

[A]

No, I think they should do a winter house. I think they should do like a.

[B]

Ski lodge or I was thinking like one, one weekend every like three months.

[C]

Dude.

[B]

What?

[E]

I, I think, I think you got to have the continuity.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I think one weekend, it, it won't be this.

[A]

Yeah. The return is what?

[E]

Like, to have the story, like, you think about like, Jersey Shore, like, summer house. Like it, you kept the cast and like every summer they'd come back and you'd build on those story lines.

[A]

I feel like if you start switching.

[E]

Start doing it once every three months, different people, it just wouldn't be this.

[C]

Have you guys monetized the holiday yet?

[A]

The holiday?

[C]

Like, you should like, find a holiday and just like, take it over.

[B]

Ideas guy. Do you mean, like, start a, a holiday?

[C]

You can start a holiday. Like, you could do Festivus or some.

[D]

I mean, we monetize Saturday.

[A]

Got a whole day of the week.

[C]

That's pretty nice, dude.

[A]

Step your game up, bro. I'll tell you what, 52 times a.

[D]

Year, dude, we've rung this towel pretty dry.

[C]

I'm just going, I'm a tax inspector.

[A]

I, I was saying, I, I wish we knew they were getting married because I would have loved to, to have gone to the wedding.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I, I, I'm lame enough that I was thinking in like, literally five minutes before this happened, I was like, Danny didn't even ask me for permission. And I was kind of joking, like, joking, but like half, only half joking with my friends hands. And then all of a sudden, I got a FaceTime from Danny Conrad and he, and he was on camera, like, you know, I'd like to ask for Jackie's hand in marriage.

[D]

Good.

[A]

Yeah, almost, you know, we almost started this wedding, like out of wedlock in Sin. You know, we almost had a family problem right away. So I told Danny, welcome to the family.

[B]

I was saying right before, like we. They were like, oh, we should call like your real dad. And I was like, I don't want to like subject him to that. And then we were all just like, I wish that there was somebody else. And we were like, like, oh, you're fake dad.

[D]

Like your fake dad.

[B]

I think I actually said call my gay dad.

[D]

The. The other thing from the like that clip was unreal.

[A]

Which one, Jack?

[D]

The what clip?

[E]

Oh, the summons clip. That might be my favorite clip of like the year.

[A]

Wait, I don't think I saw this. What are you talking about?

[D]

When. When. When Mike tells Jackie that Danny got.

[B]

Oh, I don't know.

[A]

I know. I mean, I know what happened with Danny, but it's.

[D]

Jackie. It's the perfect Jackie.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know what was going on in my head.

[D]

Well, you were drunk. What was going on?

[A]

Well, I've been shit faced for a month, so.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I could just watch it on the. I guess Lamar hasn't really seen me then.

[C]

I haven't seen it. What the heck?

[E]

You have been keeping up with every beach house.

[D]

To give you a little behind the scenes lair, Jackie's husband got arrested for pissing in public. And our security guard was telling or not arrested. We got cited.

[A]

He was like, if this is the main street, he was like, I'll pee right here.

[E]

Got pulled over by a bike cop and got a summons.

[A]

Football season is almost back, which means DraftKings season is almost back. You can do DraftKings all year long, but football season is where you snatch the crown and make that money. And right now, week one one. DraftKings is starting with their DraftKings pick six. It's the official partner of the NFL and it is a free chance to grow a bag. So here's the deal. They have the bag builder and it's a free way to share in $1 million of cash in the DraftKings universe. So here's how you do it. You download the Pick Six app. It's DraftKings easiest way to play fantasy. So it's a whole different app called Pixix. You download that using promo code KFC and you enter for free. All you have to do is make six picks and it's more or less than on player stats for week one. That's it. It's. There's no entry, no catch. You don't have to be an expert. It's just Pick A stat, is it going to be more yards than that, more receptions than that, more touchdowns than that, whatever it is, more or less and you're in. That's it. And if you want an even bigger shot, you share your link with friends to add more cash to the bag. So the more people you get to sign up up, the more money is being split. I think it starts at the 1 million, but if you recruit all your friends and they get involved, that bag keeps on going up. So it's like a self fulfilling thing to make that money. As the player count goes up, so does the prize. And if you hit all six of your picks, you split a bag that's at least 1 million and can be even more. So hit on six picks, make at least a share of a million dollars all week one. So don't sit back, get involved for free. Build the bag and run it up up download the DraftKings pick six app. Use promo code KFC opt in and then start stacking entries for NFL week one zero cost unlimited upside in partnership with DraftKings. It's pick six. The crown is yours.

[G]

Gambling problem. Call 1-800- gambler help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org in Connecticut. Must be 18 and over. Age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction. Pick six not available everywhere, including New York and Ontario. Void where prohibited. Must claim to entry in bag builder contest Only perfect entries earn share of cash Prize tokens are single use and expire Sept. 8 at 8:15pm Eastern. [e-mail] promos did you just not understand.

[A]

What like summons meant? You couldn't hear like you or you knew what was going on, you just thought it was.

[B]

I don't know. I don't think I knew what was going on. Really. I think I just heard Danny's name and I was like, oh, this guy.

[A]

Can do no wrong. Hey, this guy was pissing on the side of a building.

[D]

So cute. Wow.

[C]

Did you guys just consummate the marriage?

[B]

Was it echoing oh yeah, we've already been over that. I mean we consummated it before the.

[A]

Wedding out of wedlock and now was it in wedlock.

[C]

Oh wait, you guys are just in a beach house.

[E]

Yeah, more or less.

[A]

Yeah. The we guys.

[C]

Each other.

[A]

These two are.

[D]

Some of them are, yeah.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Tommy's. Tommy's.

[C]

You guys have a very toxic workplace.

[A]

Brother.

[D]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[A]

This isn't even a toxic part yet. Actually, like you guys are great. That's everything else.

[C]

How many girl enemies do you have here?

[D]

No, I would say zero.

[A]

Yeah, I don't. I don't think you have any.

[B]

I mean, it's not too late.

[A]

There's one more weekend in this house. There's five guys, five girls. Two. One of the guys, One of the girls are like, kind of, you know, have a little thing going. Tommy's banging any blonde girl outside the house.

[C]

Tommy, put your dick in your pants.

[A]

And then there's a gnome first. Every time, he's got two blonde girls, like, on his arm at all times.

[C]

Two bunts.

[A]

You should. You probably have to have a threesome before the summer's out.

[E]

That's too much for me.

[C]

Yo, my brother.

[E]

Not a threesome.

[C]

My brother, he's. He's like, by. But he had a foursome. Like, five. Some, like, four girls. Two of them were trans. Like, but not, like. No, no.

[D]

What?

[C]

Like trans. No, no. Like, no.

[A]

No dick.

[C]

No shots. So they're like, girls going to be.

[A]

Guys, but they still look like girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Four of them. He never told me the story. And I tried to ask him to tell me the story the other day. He was like, which one?

[D]

Damn. Wait, also, what do you mean he never told you the story? Cuz if my brother told me that he, like, yo, last night, I. Four people. Two of them were men, two of them were women. That's a pretty big story. I'd be like, all right, sit down. Let's do this. Do this properly.

[C]

He knew I wouldn't be able to resist talking about it.

[D]

He's telling. Well, luckily you've proven him wrong.

[A]

How does that even. Always wondered how. Like a. If you're at, like, a sex party or, like, around those people and those things material, like, you're at a swinger party, whatever. But if you're just like. Like, do those things materialize regularly? Like, hey, there's four people at this bar. Like, they're all gonna. Me. Yeah, that's gotta be, like, in the get up.

[C]

I think it just. Just happened like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It seems like with him, it does just happen. Yeah.

[B]

Wait, so sorry. Four. Two girls? Two. Like, how?

[C]

Two girls, trans. One actual.

[A]

And they're trans. Two guys. A girl on pizza? Please.

[C]

They're two become men.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So one by guy, two trans girls. Two girls feel like a math equation.

[B]

Like, word problem.

[A]

There's a lot of.

[D]

How many apples are left.

[A]

If the trans person left an hour earlier and the girl, when would they meet in the middle?

[D]

This is what kindergartner classes look like. Before we ended Woke.

[C]

Man is woke over.

[D]

That's what I heard. I heard we've ended woke. Thank you.

[A]

I couldn't, folks.

[H]

It's the foreplay. Guys, let's talk Truly Unruly. When you spend every day following the countless laws of golf like us, it's refreshing to get a little unruly. Whether that means using the old hand wedge to escape the bunker or just cracking open a hard seltzer that breaks all the rules, few things feel better. Truly Unruly is the first high alk seltzer that actually tastes good. It's hard hitting, but still light and refreshing, making it perfect for everything from the front nine to the club clubhouse. Find it near you at trulyhardceltzer.com locations. That's trulyhardselter.com locations. Hard Seltzer Beverage Company Boston, Massachusetts. Please drink responsibly.

[A]

I couldn't believe the Cracker Barrel thing became like woke versus non woke. That was crazy.

[D]

Really? I don't know.

[A]

They. They. They changed the Cracker Barrel logo and people were like, this is woke.

[C]

And I'm like, dude, it's because Cracker Barrel is the last bash in the white food.

[A]

It. I legit think the word cracker being involved and like the logo was an old white man. His name is Uncle Herschel. I think people just like made it racial in their head and I just don't think it was.

[C]

It's like getting rid of Aunt Jemima.

[A]

You know, changing of the cracker barrel logo became like a. This is Woke.

[D]

Cracker Barrel just changed their logo.

[A]

Right? Yeah, but also I'm saying the reaction to it was like, this is woke.

[D]

Right? But that. Yes, but that. It was just. It wasn't though, right?

[A]

I don't think so.

[C]

The new logo is bad. Bad.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

They took away anything that gave it like a little bit of charm.

[D]

And which is what we've been doing with every restaurant for 20 years now. Like, McDonald's doesn't have a play pace. Burger King doesn't have like all their.

[A]

The.

[D]

The.

[A]

All the characters.

[D]

Taco Bell doesn't look like a cantina anymore. Like everything looks like a minimalistic, shitty architectural structure.

[B]

The logo, him like cracking away.

[C]

No, he was sitting next to a barrel.

[A]

That's what I mean. I think people made it like at.

[C]

This point, I think who would be tired?

[A]

Tired.

[C]

It's a guy sitting. From whipping people sitting next to a bro.

[A]

That was actually their original logo. That was their. Their slogan was like, take a Load off from whipping from the Cracker Barrel.

[D]

They have the rocking chairs. I know what kind of chair you're looking for, brother. Maybe it was racist.

[A]

Maybe Cracker Barrel was racist.

[D]

Cracker Barrel was for sure racist. Not outwardly so maybe, but I feel.

[C]

Like it's one of those white people, black people.

[D]

What?

[C]

I think it's fake.

[A]

What?

[C]

The. The logo change. The outrage.

[D]

Yeah, I think it's all real, but I think it's from the rooted people.

[C]

It's. It's. It's ploy. They're trying to bud Light. They're trying to bud light. You know, Bud light lost a bunch of money when they switched, but then when they switched again, they made a lot more money.

[A]

So piss people off, then return. And you're. You're. I mean, they. They. They said they lost $100 million from that logo change. Their. Their. Their stock went down, like, a lot.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like multiple dollars. It was like, it went from, like, $12 to, like, $7. Cracker barrel stuff.

[D]

I heard it's got to be a fun time to be a stock buyer. Like, change their logo, and people get mad about woke.

[C]

They're about to change their logo again, but this time it's Derek Chen with his knee on George Floyd's neck.

[A]

Cracker Barrel stored this morning after they.

[D]

Announced their Derek Chauvin.

[A]

Their new slogan is, I can't.

[C]

There's gonna be a lot of guys like, this is a good company.

[D]

Food's so good it takes your breath away.

[A]

The ultimate cracker Derek Chauvin.

[D]

That is crazy.

[C]

It is kind of crazy that he went to jail.

[D]

He's still in jail, right?

[C]

Oh, no.

[D]

Did he get pardoned?

[C]

Probably for a little bit.

[D]

He got pardoned.

[C]

Oh, did he get pardoned?

[D]

No, no.

[C]

Damn. Trump's a phony.

[A]

You better believe Derek Chauvin was going, I'll be out of here by two.

[D]

This ain't no thing.

[C]

Brothers in arms. Code of silence. What?

[D]

What?

[A]

Him and Joe Exotic are still waiting for their party. Like, what the is going on, dude?

[C]

He got to keep Joe Exotic in jail because Joe Exotic's the only guy who could beat him, like, for president. That's the only guy.

[D]

The Tiger King is my threat. Joe Exotic is actually a political prisoner at the moment.

[C]

You don't want the Tiger king on your ass, dude.

[D]

Can't let that guy out, dude.

[C]

I think they put the other guy, Doc Antle. I think he's in jail too, right now.

[D]

Who?

[A]

The other.

[C]

The other guy.

[A]

Doc. Doc. Was it Doc Anle? He was, like, the other cop, Exotic cop. The other like Joe Exotic. He, like he, he, you know, Joe Exotic is like we do it ethically, they don't. And it's like you're all just kidnapping tigers.

[D]

The guy was down in Florida or something like that. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You could have summed them all up that way. You know the wildlife exotic guy.

[B]

Wait, remind me why Joe Exotic got thrown in jail again.

[D]

I think it was just pick a reason. Yeah, if I had to guess, I.

[A]

Bet it was like tax evasion.

[C]

Said he tried to kill that lady's husband or something.

[A]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

It was like attempted murder.

[C]

Yeah, I think he tried to kill.

[A]

Yeah. Like he hired. I actually think we can pinpoint other than like holocaust of World War II and all that sort of culturally speaking, I think we hit rock bottom as a culture which. No, no jokes out. Yes. I think everybody being like, this is cuz there, you know, now it's like we still laugh about it, but at the time it was like, you have to watch this documentary. It was like the first thing. It was like the ultimate white trash. Like this is garbage. All of these people are either murderers or animal kidnappers. And not talented.

[D]

And not like, I think that's the last reality.

[C]

Exotic's not talented. You didn't hear any of his songs. That guy ripped.

[D]

I, I remember watching it during call Covid and, and thinking not much of it, but now thinking back on it, I remember the Walmart scene where like his employees would just get rotten Walmart meat.

[C]

No, from the trash.

[D]

From the trash is the most despicable scene.

[A]

To what? Feed the animals?

[D]

No, to feed themselves.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[D]

It was the thrown out Walmart meat like that they got out of the Walmart freezers and they would get out of a dumpster and then they would just eat that. And I was like, like it didn't register to me in the moment watching how insane that is.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And now I think back, I'm like, he was feeding his employees. What the were we doing making the documentary about this guy? To be fair. That's a great documentary.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It's not someone who needs to be put on a Netflix thing.

[A]

It's fine to be like, I get it, there's exotic animals and there's this weird murder like underlying story. I get all that. But the fact that it was like the most, most you can make the, the documentary. The fact that it was the most popular thing like ever for a time, but it was what was concerning what.

[B]

We needed at the time. You know how it's like trash.

[D]

Yeah, you're stuck inside, but at least you're not eating rotten meat in Ohio.

[C]

It did bring the world together.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That was the last time we were together as a people. Everybody watched Tiger King season one and was like, this guy's nuts.

[E]

Eric Chauvin came along.

[A]

Fact, it's pretty crazy.

[C]

I think it was Tiger King. Kobe Bryant dying and then.

[D]

No, Kobe was first. Kirby before.

[A]

Was he?

[C]

Yeah, Kobe and then Covid. Kobe and then Kobe.

[A]

I remember Bart Kreischer's special came out like that same day as Joe. Exotic. And he was sort of like, well, this pandemic's not the worst thing in the world. I got an entirely captive audience. And here's the new comedy special that's getting.

[C]

Man, I wish, wish. I wish somebody would just watch one thing. I did just one.

[D]

One thing. I put time and effort.

[A]

Watch one thing and I will be happy.

[C]

That's it.

[D]

It is. We all just become barkers for attention. Like, everyone's just standing on a corner, like, free show, free show. Everyone's walking by going, not interested. What are you talking about? We don't have huge signs. Look up. Look. What do you mean?

[A]

People try just get attention everywhere you look.

[D]

I said we've all become bunkers for. I'm one of them. I know.

[A]

I'm saying, what are you talking?

[D]

Not literally just human billboards.

[B]

I feel like when I see like the stats of like it says like, anad armis made like 1 million from this movie. And like you see like the Hollywood actors, they're like making no money now compared to like streamers and everything. But it makes sense because like the streaming world and everything is like, you're literally begging for attention. You're putting your whole life out on the line. You're doing like random stuff. Like now I feel like it kind of makes sense to the, like, why Mr. Beast gets paid.

[A]

Also, you're not splitting your putting it all out there.

[C]

You're not splitting your money with the marketing companies, the people behind the scenes who need to make money. Your money's not going into other movies.

[A]

That raw, raw money.

[C]

And you don't have to get teamsters. Like, come on, dude, Teamsters will.

[A]

I mean, you could be a one man operation. You really could be, though. Like, I mean, I'm sure once you get big enough, you're paying clippers and all that stuff. But to start out, it's like, it's just me and my computer.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you. I mean, you guys are. It's work in the Sense of, like, there's gonna be drama and you're stressed out on camera and stuff, but you also just kind of roll into that and just go. Right.

[B]

I mean, it is really fun at the end of the day.

[A]

Yeah. Like, it's.

[B]

But also.

[E]

Yeah, I'm getting sad. There's only one weekend left.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You're. You're. You're.

[C]

You guys don't have a banger. A blowout.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As we said, you gotta have a.

[C]

Beach house party and invite everybody you see on the beach to party.

[A]

Like a fire pit, you know, like. Like straight up, like an 80s movie on the beach.

[C]

Oh, yes. That's the winner show. The winner's in the ski lodge.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Do ski lodge.

[B]

I thought that we had just covered that.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[D]

Look, you're still the guy. He's already had that one. We're not paying you for that one.

[C]

Espresso going through my brain.

[H]

Get the crew together and head off to the course in the new 2024 Chevy Truck Traverse with impressive cargo room, three room seating, and the first ever Z71 Trim Traverse. Can handle your buddies and their golf bags with ease. Chevrolet together. Let's drive.

[A]

Yeah. Like, are you. Are you gonna be sad to see it go released?

[B]

No, I think I'm gonna be sad. I. Like, right now, my throat hurts so bad. Like, I don't. I think I have one weekend left in me, but, like, I think I'm gonna be sad. Like, I had fun. I am. Like, it is a lot of, like, in your head and being like, am I I good enough at every. Like, do I deserve this? No, wait, I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I wasn't, like, asking for these other reality shows.

[A]

Like, literally set you up with a therapist. Like, talk through your. Do you think you need that?

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

Those guys are right.

[D]

Una is a little slow to grab the mic.

[A]

Sorry, I was gonna fall over.

[D]

Sorry.

[F]

That made it look like I had something to say. No, I mean, I think that Ron is basically our therapist, and it's the worst therapist you could.

[A]

I was gonna say he's not your therapist. The host of a show trying to get material out of you.

[F]

That's the closest thing we have, though, which is.

[C]

Yeah, he lacks compassion.

[D]

Yeah, he's like.

[C]

So that made you feel like that you're really going to deal with that?

[A]

I. I did feel for. I didn't see the whole recap show, but I saw Annika getting upset about the Nicki stuff, and I Was like, boy, that's a couple that either just needs to get together or never see each other again.

[D]

Because you guys are just gonna do.

[A]

This in and out dance for the rest of your life.

[D]

Girl so bad.

[B]

She's, like, trapped in, like, this time.

[A]

And it's like, you can't. Like, they broke up, but you see him every day. Yeah, like, I, I, I do feel.

[B]

For it, but she's such a badass about it.

[A]

Yeah, she's been, she's been very, like.

[D]

Have they been hooking up?

[B]

They just did for the first time this past weekend.

[D]

The first time. Ah, she was.

[E]

Because he hooked up with another girl Friday. And then she was like, on the recap show, she was like, listen, Like, I get.

[A]

He's got to do what he's got to do.

[E]

Like, he's, he's this reality show. Like, he's doing what he's out to do. She's like, at the end of the day, I just want to hook up with them Saturday. Sue me.

[A]

I want to play.

[D]

I want to hook up with them on Sue Me.

[A]

By the way, like, you can do whatever you want. Like, I just feel like she feels pressure to, like, not do it or do it or whatever. It's like, I don't know him. Don't him, but, but just do it and, like, be okay with your decision. One way you guys are going to.

[C]

Get loot ck real hard years. Let's go, Una. She's like, I didn't.

[A]

I just, I got a kick. Friday night was very funny. It was like he was at a bar with a girl, flirting, hooking up, kissing, like, very blatant. Took her home, I'm, I'm assuming slept with her. And like, as soon as she leaves, Nikki's on camera. Like, I just don't get why Anaka's upset with me. I'm like, no, you can't do that. Like, I can tell you why. Just some girl next to her. And as we know this house echoes.

[D]

So you.

[A]

Yeah, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Yes, you can. Because the next night he her. So I'm gonna.

[C]

Girls are competitive that way. We're like, if like, you one of their friends and they sort of kind of wanted to you, but you weren't. You're putting an effort and then you stop, they'll be like, all right, you know.

[A]

Say again? All right.

[D]

You're 1,000% right.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Girls are competitive in that way where, like, all right, so, like, you're putting an effort for the one girl. And then she's not really reciprocating it, but she likes it. And then you go someone else. She's.

[A]

I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

[B]

But I think that she had the weekend before been like, I'm gonna give myself a night off and I'm gonna fuck him. Because like she's been so strong for.

[A]

It really is just like, like the tides. It's just waves just constantly hitting like me. Fuck me. And she finally just let the wave hit her.

[D]

Like, yeah, okay, I'll do it.

[B]

But you're exactly right on that. Lemire.

[A]

I think. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, are stupid.

[A]

A lot of what goes on at the beach house is like day one, men, women, primal, never going to change. But there are people like, I just don't get.

[D]

Yeah, it's 25 year old drunk people. It is prime.

[A]

That's what I mean. This person and this person hooked up and they're fighting like, yeah, man. It's like, yeah, you, you know, you. You poured a bunch of gasoline in a. In a, in a barrel and threw a match in it. You're like, it's on fire.

[C]

What start a.

[B]

Did you guys. Since you have such like a funny like you guys all hang out, did you ever consider doing like reality anything?

[C]

No.

[A]

I mean if there was a world where cameras were following around you, Shane o', Connor, Tommy, all like the extended crew, it would be unbelievable. But I also think that's like the last crew in the world that would.

[C]

Just be us arguing about comedians we hate. We were talking so much about Mark Marin at the bar the other day. Like you, you old Austin rul.

[A]

Stick.

[D]

Socks. Stick does stink.

[A]

Unfortunately that, that he's been on, you know, he's. I don't think it's. It's persuading people one way or the other. It's already like if you already hated Marin or you already liked Marin, you're just. Just like digging your heels in. But he brought that to the forefront for that. For that promo tour for sure.

[C]

Yeah. Cause like dude and he's starting like there's this Internet beef now. Well, there's always the Internet guys who hate the Austin. They don't hate the Austin comedy scene. They just hate the guys at the top, you know? And like that sucks because it's like, how can you hate. You wouldn't have a career if these guys. Guys weren't so like influential, you know, like there's a lot of YouTube videos about people. They're just like Shitting on comedians who are doing their best. Like, you know what I mean?

[A]

Well, the only thing I don't get about Marin is when he says, like, a lot of these comics are, like, political, and I don't think they should be in that space. I agree with that. But also, isn't he just. But on the other side.

[C]

Well, he used to be very.

[A]

I don't know enough about his material.

[C]

He had Barack Obama on his podcast.

[A]

That's what I mean. I thought he was just like, like the left version of the right guys. So that's kind of like you can't really. But I don't know, maybe he stopped doing that in recent years, but it just feels like a little bit hypocritical to be like, why are you doing political talk?

[C]

And it's like, I do agree with him with the one thing where he's like, there's a lot of guys punching down in their jokes because they think it's easy, that's agreeable. But it's not just one whole scene doing that, you know, that that's just.

[A]

Like, there's always going to be, like, hacks or punching. It might be. Be like concentrated a little bit there right now, but, like, that's because it's still new. You can go.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And you still knew, right? You can go to any city in the world and find comics doing that kind of.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I also think that was a lot just for promo. I think he was just like, I want headlines and I'm gonna. Not that he's like, doesn't believe it, but I think he was like, I'm gonna, you know, stick a dynamite in this right now.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, he did.

[A]

Is there. Is there, like, real true enough bad blood where I could see a world where it's like, I'm gonna go on, Rogan's gonna have me on, and they're gonna have like a sit down and break records. Yeah. Or do they, like, hate each other?

[C]

Marin's been on Rogan before, like, back, but.

[A]

But like now, like, where we're at now, would. Would it be like, are they fighting enough that it's like they will never.

[C]

You know what's crazy? If Marin got offered the opportunity, he would definitely do it.

[A]

I think so. And I think he should. And I think Joe should. I don't know. I don't think any of this is like, wow, you guys should never talk again. And I think as a viewer, it would be cool to, like, watch them hash or even fight. I would love to watch them scream. And yell or talk it out, I don't know. That would be just compelling stuff. That's all a reality show. That to me that's just like, let the cameras roll, dude.

[C]

You brought me back around.

[A]

John. I'm happy that this sponsor is back in the mix because I've been meaning to do it myself.

[D]

Factors back there factor has a stakes.

[A]

Has a soft spot in my heart for from that, that survivor week, like it kept me alive. But I also looked forward to every.

[D]

Factory meal I ever had.

[A]

I was like excited.

[D]

They were like, I mean, I really look forward to it. I loved it. Right.

[A]

And, and it was like, you know, meal time was great. But then they'd also be like, we gotta like film something for fact.

[D]

Me, me, me. What are we opening up?

[A]

We doing the buffalo chicken dip? Are we doing the steak? Are we doing the Baja chicken? Like every single thing was delicious. Then they brought in the breakfast. They had the blueberry and orange pancakes. They had it all covered. Factor to me is especially like as a dad, I'm running around, I'm either working or with my kids or driving them to events and scheduling activities and all that. Like, I ain't trying to cook, man. I'm not even trying to do like the 10 minutes in the oven with the chicken nuggets. Yeah, I want to just throw it in the, in the fridge or throw it in the microwave. Me. Heat it up and you're good to go. And that's refactor is that you eat smarter, eat tastier. It's chef prepared meals, dietitian approved. Gets delivered right to you and takes, you know, you know, two seconds to get a good meal in you. Right now they have 65 weekly meals for how you want to live and how you want to eat that you can pick from. And with all that variety, you get more meals, a wider selection, premium seafood choices. They have dietitian approved. Like I said, if you have allergies or preferences, you can build your factor delivery based on that. 97% of factor customers say that they have lived a healthier life because of factor. It's going to be an easier life, a tastier life. All of that combined, it's a no brainer. And right now you can get 50 off your first box when you go to factor meals.com KFC 50 off. So that's KFC 50 off. KFC 50 off gets you 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for a whole year.

[D]

Free breakfast a year.

[A]

Free breakfast a year. I would recommend the pancakes. Free pancakes For a year. Sounds unbelievable. And 50% off that first box when you go to factor meals.com kfc50off offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. That's Factor Meals.com promo code KFC50OFF. Jackpocket is America's number one lottery app. Jack Pocket right now you can join join the Jackpocket winner verse. This is one of the best promos ever. The JP Winerverse is what it's called. What you have to do is download the Jackpocket app, play the lottery. It could be Mega Millions or Powerball. I think Mega Millions is at like 300 million Powerballs upwards of like 800 now. We're getting into those really big fat jackpots right now. And if you play those, if you play your local lottery, if you do a scratch off, if you're in qualifying stuff states, you play any sort of lottery hashtag, screenshot it, post it to social media, tag Jack Pocket. You also have to follow them and put up the pro the hashtag JP Winerverse. If you so follow them, play a game, screenshot it, post it, use the hashtag those are your five things and you get entered in the running to win your share of a quarter of a million dollars in lottery credits. So that means 2,500 people are going to win $100 of free lottery credits for you to then use on Jackpocket. You could use it for the Powerball, the Mega Millions. Like I said, anything you want. $100 in free credits means quite a bit of tickets when you're talking about dollar tickets, $2 tickets, whatever it may be. So if you enter the JP Winiverse, you might win the more you can do it until August 29th. And the more entries you put in, the more games you play. And the more times you enter and use the hashtag hashtag, the more your chances are increased to be one of those 2500 winners of the quarter of a million dollars of lottery credits or more. So open up the Jackpocket lottery app, opt in to promotions and place a lottery ticket order. Enter daily for more chances to win. It ends on August 29th. So once again that's download Jackpocket, use the hashtag JPWiniverse and win those lottery credits today.

[G]

Gambling problem call 1-800- gambler in New York, call 877-8-HOPE NY or text hopeny 18 or older, 19 or older in Nebraska, 21 or older in Ariz. Jack Pocket is a lottery courier and not affiliated with any state. Lottery eligibility restrictions apply. No purchase necessary. Voidwear prohibited. Must be 18 or older. Age varies by state limit. Three entries per person per drawing. One prize per person. Must make entries during drawing. Specific entry periods. Ends August 29th at 10:00am Eastern Time. Official rules and free method of entry at JKPT Co Winterverse sponsored by Jackpocket LLC. Lottery credits are non withdrawable and expire in one year.

[A]

Mascots Episode 2 will be out tonight, 8 o' clock block. I, I still, I always think about this stuff from the nerd point of view. I'm just so curious to see what, like I could see a world where the first episode gets like another bump of views.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

People kind of catch up and catch in.

[D]

I don't think it will. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think episode two is when it really gets going. So if you liked episode one, I think you'll really like episode two.

[A]

Yeah, I think, you know, there's like we keep saying the pilot was a pilot. Set the scene. Now episode two has a, a plot and like a, you know, a typical sitcom storyline that comes all the way through.

[B]

Great montage, like really good montage scene there.

[D]

There's a lot too. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

There's, there's, it's like some hangover type.

[D]

That's very funny.

[A]

Are you, how are you feeling now? I just wonder if there's almost not like a hangover, but like a now. The episodes just come out and I guess you guys are still shooting, so there's not like a finality, right?

[D]

No, but it's, it's 1 trillion times more stressful now.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes, really.

[A]

I am. Now what? Now you're at the mercy of like the audience.

[D]

Like, I, I don't know if it's, it's, it's like probably a combination of things. I'm having construction done upstairs and so like I wake up every morning like to loud bangs and then I don't.

[A]

Want to hear it. I would love to wake up to loud bangs. They don't even bang my house. No one's banging.

[D]

But so last week, last week I was just like sweating and shaking the entire week. This week we're feeling much better, but because of everything. I think it was just a lot of stress about a lot of different things. But yeah, no, it's exciting. It's good.

[A]

Yeah. I, I, A lot of the, a lot of the podcasts you did to do promo will probably be rolling out, I hope relatively soon.

[D]

Yeah, I think I Think soda will be out today? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. See, I think that stuff. All right. Like, I just think it'll be. It'll just be clear that it's just like, all right, mascots is what John Feidelberg does now.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And everybody. But, you know, you're like the. The leader of it. So I just feel like when you start to see the promotional stuff, more of the episodes, more, you know, I don't know. It just becomes more. More real, I think.

[D]

I think so. I think I'm excited for episode two to come out. I. I was excited for episode one. I'm excited for episode two.

[C]

What's the ending? What's the ending of episode too?

[A]

Well, you gotta watch.

[D]

There are French fries involved.

[A]

No, this is. This is a good example of. I know we've been talking a lot about how you guys really, like, learned and figured out how to write shows and all that. And like, it. Show. It shines through right away in this episode where it's like a very clear plot. Beginning, middle, end.

[D]

The start of this episode is one. We kind of have, like, cold opens a lot of them. The cold open on episode two is probably my favorite cold.

[A]

What happens there again?

[D]

The hotline. Oh, that is great.

[A]

That is great. That is very funny. That's what I mean. Like, that was like. I was like, wow, that was a really good bit.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Through thing.

[D]

So sorry. Watch it live. Watch it at 8.

[A]

Yeah. Do the premiere. The premiere's fun because the chat is going off.

[D]

Have a shared experience.

[A]

Yeah, it. It'll be a hoot.

[C]

You can watch TV and talk to people. I'm writing a multi cam. I want to. I'm writing a multicam sitcom. I want to do what's.

[A]

What's.

[C]

I think I got. I want to sell it to cbs. Yeah. Because they're the only guys buying like, multicam sitcoms anymore.

[A]

What's the. What's the premise?

[C]

It's just a lady who becomes a garbage man.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

I never see it.

[A]

Right. Never. That's a great.

[D]

I'm hooked.

[A]

That is great.

[B]

What is she doing before?

[C]

Yeah, she's a single mother and her husband isn't paying. Or ex husband isn't paying child support anymore because he's an alcoholic.

[A]

It's a little bit darker than garbage. Thing was funny, but we just took a turn. Yo, garbage people make bank, dude.

[D]

Yeah, I was never saying. Someone saying that. I wish my kindergartner teacher when they told me if I didn't learn how to write, I'd be A garbage man man mention that they make 100k a year.

[A]

Could be way worse, bro. Listen, also gets a ride on the back of that truck.

[D]

Cool.

[A]

And I'm sure there's moments where it's 100 degree weather and you throw in a bag and garbage juice explodes on you. And you would say, I'd rather do literally anything.

[C]

But dude, it's like 4 to 12. Like you don't really have to. Ain't so bad be out in the sun that much.

[A]

Yeah, honestly, it's easy. What, what, what job? Where's your cut off? I always think about it with women because it's like, I would just go be a stripper before I did xyz. Or especially now with like only fans. Where's like your cut off? How bad does a job have to be before you would consider, like, I'll just make money on the Internet in a distasteful way. But.

[B]

Oh, oh, like me having a job.

[A]

Like, would. Would you be a. Would you be a garbage woman before you were a online something?

[B]

No. Great, Great point. Garbage woman. No, I'm online.

[A]

Would you be a. A.

[B]

But also I feel like bartending. Is bartending a A option? That's like, it's. It's just probably as good as if you do it right. Not as online, obviously, but like, that's just service girl.

[A]

Even more like bar. Bar is one thing, but I'm with. I'm with.

[C]

Might as well do only face.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good point. It's probably like gateway drug.

[A]

I feel like I get what you mean. But also, if you don't want to like fully cross that bridge. Fridge. You're probably making a good amount of money and you don't have to be like, I just always find it so.

[C]

Interesting because girls are addicted to money, dude. Once they start making money in a job, that's scandalous. They always. You know how like it always starts with a girl on only fans? She's just doing nudes. And then she goes, it's like, all right, playing with myself now. And I was like, all right, got a guy here or I got a girl here.

[A]

Next thing you know, you're like drinking a guy here.

[C]

And then she's like, full anal. Come on.

[A]

Like, it's always.

[D]

But I think that's more the money than anything.

[A]

Yeah. If I do this little thing, I make this much. If I go a little bit harder, I make like 100x.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And these are things you're probably going to do anyway, you know, Probably.

[C]

Money isn't that important, you guys.

[A]

I do. I do feel, though, like, when. When people are like, there's a stigma attached to it, but only fans. Yeah, but, yeah, you're a. Do you really think. I guess there are plenty of people who are like, yeah, you're a slut. But I also think there are people who go, like, I don't, like, rock on. You're doing, like, a European vacation and living your dreams.

[C]

Yeah, but those people are dumb.

[A]

Those people are wrong. I did not expect you to be the guy being like, don't do it.

[C]

But I love skilled women more.

[A]

You know, there's too much amateur out there.

[B]

Is there, like, a male equivalent to the gateway to, like, the slow?

[A]

I don't know if there's any equivalent. Podcasting.

[D]

Podcasting. I mean, 100 it. 100 it.

[A]

But it's just.

[D]

You're thinking of the male equivalent to only fan.

[A]

You can't. A girl can, like, pretty much automatically succeed. I'm not saying you're making 75.

[D]

Like, there's a lot of women out there.

[F]

And imagine how embarrassing it is to fail at only.

[A]

Yeah, I think if you're pretty, you. You'll succeed.

[D]

I don't know. I mean, we used to have people tweet us. I don't know how those accounts counts.

[F]

Like, there's girls from my high school that are pretty unfailing.

[C]

Yeah, you have to unalive if you're failing at only.

[A]

I mean, I guess you got to put a good effort in, but I think you're doing it pretty wrong if you're not succeeding enough. I think you can make enough money.

[D]

How do you even find only?

[C]

I'll tell you the best way.

[A]

I mean, that's what I mean. You have to be, like, promoted and into it and all that. Like, if you're just doing it anonymously on the side and hoping it catches. No, you probably gotta do. But I'm saying, if you're in. Interested into it and you're like, look the part, I think you could be.

[C]

Successful if you're a girl with a job at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. Just go to the bathroom and take a tip. Pick. That's it. You'll make a thousand dollars off of that.

[A]

That's your best one yet. Brilliant. Just pay for yourself three times over. All right, Anything else? We got mascots coming out tonight. Final weekend of Beach House coming up. Lamizi is writing his show.

[C]

Yes. Please come also to my shows. Ly Dot Fun is my website being New Jersey, Philadelphia, Bethlehem Soldiers. I'll be around. Please go to my website. Lamar Lee Dot. Fun.

[A]

What is it again?

[C]

Lamarle Fun.

[A]

Lamarlee Dot.

[C]

When are you going to be in New Jersey tomorrow? Well, I'm going to be at the dojo of comedy.

[D]

Oh, shit. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What, are you doing the dojo tomorrow?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, maybe you should make an appearance at the beach.

[C]

Yeah, come to the beach then, if you'll have me.

[A]

You know what you guys should do next weekend? Stage a divorce. Oh, you guys said on opposite sides of a table and, like, argue with each other.

[B]

Your divorce.

[A]

You can mediate the whole thing. Paulie D. Will represent Danny and, like, we'll get Snooki to represent Jackie.

[D]

The situation, dude.

[A]

The situation. Yeah, we'll have it. He'll be the judge. He'll. He'll preside over it all.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Good stuff. Thank you, Lair. Appreciate it.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

See you guys on Thursday.

[C]

Shout out to the bean.

[A]

Shout out. Shout out to the bean. Cheers, buddy. Sam.

[D]

Sa.

[A]

Sam.