Tommy Pope and Josh Wolf on Danny Devito's Best Moments - Full Episode

Summary

KFC Radio Podcast Episode Summary
Episode Title: Tommy Pope and Josh Wolf on Danny Devito's Best Moments
Release Date: November 26, 2024

Hosts: John Feidelberg, Kevin Clancy, Tommy Smokes, Dave Portnoy
Guests: Notably absent from the transcript provided.

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1. Attending Intimate Comedy Shows

The episode kicks off with the hosts recounting their recent experience attending a small-scale comedy show in New Jersey. They emphasize the unique atmosphere of a "hundred seat place," highlighting the proximity to the performers.

• John Feidelberg [04:11]: "Everyone was this close to those two monsters."
• Kevin Clancy [04:21]: "It's like Dexter being a fucking serial killer, you know, it's like, oh, but he does it."

This setting allows for an in-depth discussion about the dynamics between comedians and their audiences in intimate venues.

2. Comedians' Styles: Storytelling vs. Traditional Jokes

A significant portion of the conversation delves into the varying styles of stand-up comedy, particularly focusing on storytelling versus traditional joke-telling.

• Tommy Smokes [05:08]: "And now that it's over, it's like, dude, I don't like dudes."
• John Feidelberg [05:12]: "I always referred to him as a moral criminal. He really does. He has a lot of code."

The hosts debate the merits of narrative-driven comedy, citing examples like Joey Diaz and Louis C.K., who incorporate personal stories and experiences into their acts. They discuss how these storytellers maintain their edge and humor despite personal challenges, contrasting them with more conventional joke-based comedians.

• Kevin Clancy [07:28]: "I don't have that here. I'm like, just gonna say stupid, because that's the word. I know, right?"

3. Originality and the Challenge of Repetition

The issue of originality in comedy is a recurring theme. The hosts express concerns over comedians recycling material and the difficulty in maintaining fresh content.

• John Feidelberg [08:02]: "I have. Because when I bring my stuff on stage, I will hear people, like, get comments. You had to bring a notebook. Aren't you professional?"

They touch upon the pressures comedians face to constantly innovate, especially in the age of digital content where jokes and stories can easily be shared and replicated.

• John Feidelberg [14:05]: "This is the end of the new material. But if you want to hear this story, if you came for this story, I'm going to tell it."

4. The Evolution of Comedy and Audience Expectations

The hosts reflect on how comedy has evolved over the years, particularly with changes in audience expectations and the landscape of live performances.

• Kevin Clancy [16:26]: "I know there are tremendously talented and funny people here. I barely watch or consume any of their content because it's like my coworker."

They compare the current state of comedy with past eras, pondering whether the emphasis on punchlines has overshadowed the depth of storytelling.

5. Personal Anecdotes and Comedic Inspirations

Throughout the episode, the hosts share personal stories that have shaped their comedic styles and philosophies. These anecdotes provide insight into their approaches to humor and performance.

• John Feidelberg [05:35]: "But then he would be like, hey, let me treat you to lunch. Are you like. He'd be like, you get it next time."
• Kevin Clancy [06:28]: "How do you say this smarter?"

These stories not only entertain but also serve as lessons on the importance of authenticity and personal growth in comedy.

6. Balancing Personal Lives with the Comedy Scene

Towards the latter part of the transcript, the conversation shifts slightly to address the challenges of balancing personal lives with the demands of being active in the comedy scene.

• John Feidelberg [89:21]: "I go, I go to my kids, like sports practice. I'm like, I don't have to dress up for that."

The hosts discuss maintaining relationships and personal well-being while pursuing a career in comedy, emphasizing the need for support systems and self-care.

7. Final Thoughts: The Future of Stand-Up Comedy

In wrapping up, the hosts contemplate the future trajectory of stand-up comedy, considering the impact of evolving audience preferences and the increasing blend of storytelling with traditional humor.

• Kevin Clancy [114:16]: "Some conflict. It's just like in writing comedy, like, conflict is story."

They express optimism about the continued evolution of the art form, believing that as long as comedians remain true to their unique voices, stand-up will thrive.

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Conclusion

This episode of KFC Radio offers a multifaceted exploration of stand-up comedy, blending personal experiences with broader reflections on the industry's current and future states. Through engaging discussions and memorable anecdotes, John Feidelberg, Kevin Clancy, Tommy Smokes, and Dave Portnoy provide listeners with an insightful look into what makes comedy both challenging and endlessly entertaining.

Transcript

[Kevin Clancy]

Hey, KFC Radio listeners. You can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[John Feidelberg]

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[Tommy Smokes]

It'll fit right in that side pocket.

[John Feidelberg]

Drink Fireball Nips and have a great.

[Tommy Smokes]

Time on the golf course.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[John Feidelberg]

Perfect for any fiesta.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[John Feidelberg]

Please sun sip responsibly.

[Dave Portnoy]

Copyright 2024 High Noon Spirits Company, Modesto, California. All rights reserved.

[Tommy Smokes]

I give the bus driver 100 bucks. I'd say take a left here. We're going to a park. And I just ground balls.

[John Feidelberg]

Just ground balls and rocket them at them, right?

[Tommy Smokes]

You thought this was a field trip.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[John Feidelberg]

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[Dave Portnoy]

Let me do my Zoe and Louie.

[John Feidelberg]

Out at a fucking Wednesday night hundred seat place in New Jersey.

[Kevin Clancy]

When was this?

[John Feidelberg]

Last night. Oh, I thought we were like storytelling 100 seat plays. So those people in the front, everybody paid 25 bucks to get in. Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Got the show of a lifetime.

[John Feidelberg]

Everybody was this close to those two monsters.

[Kevin Clancy]

Three monsters.

[John Feidelberg]

Well, dude, it's not even like it. And that's what last night I figured out. Look, man, there's a bunch of us who are in this group and some people are going to think this person's funnier and some people, it just depends on the style. And some people are going to like this show more and this show more and. But I. We're all in the, in the same bubble.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right?

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

Joey's out here. You know where he is. He's. To me, he's Patrice O'Neill. He's Old Katt Williams. That type of laughter.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, I believe that. I'm not actually surprised by that. I mean, I think he, he is so unique. Singularly unique. Yeah, that like.

[John Feidelberg]

And when he gets angry and the veins. Yeah, dude.

[Kevin Clancy]

I mean when you, when you have story like, like dude can tell a.

[Dave Portnoy]

Story about kidnapping people and it's funny, hilarious.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's like this is objectively horrible, but like not horrible.

[John Feidelberg]

He went to jail for it.

[Kevin Clancy]

But he, like, that's the thing too. Like he knows it and he's like a reformed or whatever you want to call it. Like, but, but he didn't lose his edge or his humor. It's like I'm a good person, but he's actually the definition of all this. All this bullshit that's gone on for last like 15 years, 10 years is like, I'm not a bad person. You know what I mean?

[John Feidelberg]

I always referred to him as a moral criminal. He really does. He has a lot of code.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's like. It's like Dexter being a fucking serial killer, you know, it's like, oh, but he does it.

[John Feidelberg]

He would. So for real, why? And this is why I've been calling him a moral criminal forever. He would take. So when I was single and raising the three kids and I had zero.

[Kevin Clancy]

Money, literally used to put them on leashes.

[John Feidelberg]

If I had $40 on the counter, he would take it.

[Tommy Smokes]

It.

[John Feidelberg]

But then he would be like, hey, let me treat you to lunch. Are you like. He'd be like, you get it next time. I'm like, I think I got it this time too. I think I got it both times technically, but. But like, I would wait.

[Kevin Clancy]

By the way, was that like a pop in or. That was the schedule.

[John Feidelberg]

Like schedule.

[Kevin Clancy]

Wow.

[John Feidelberg]

So there's a place that's called the dojo Comedy in this. Whatever. They told me the name of the town in Jersey 30 times. I'm like, I'm never going to read comedy. 100 seats and he goes there once a month. Louie did 45 last night and I think did an hour of his new stuff.

[Kevin Clancy]

No way.

[John Feidelberg]

And by the way, Lou's. And I was.

[Kevin Clancy]

I didn't know he was out there like that dude.

[John Feidelberg]

And I was, look, I'm a bit of a. I love comedy. I fucking love it. I love watching other people. I didn't watch Louie for a long time because I know that we both talked about kids and our kids and I never wanted to be like, oh, I can't talk about that now. Because Louie. Because we all have different takes on. Right? So I watched him last night and he had his notebook out and he was writing a set list with his hand. And I was like, I'm so glad to see that other people still do that. Like, that's how I remember things too. And I am so much funnier for stand up when I write with my hand. If I'm writing. Yeah, if I'm writing. Like when I wrote my book, it was all type because I. I type different than more. I write more colloquially in my hand and when I'm on a computer, you make it like it's more like a book. Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like I'm using different words.

[John Feidelberg]

How do you say this smarter?

[Kevin Clancy]

I got Google Word thesaurus going a lot.

[John Feidelberg]

I don't have that here. I'm like, just gonna say stupid, because that's the word. I know, right?

[Dave Portnoy]

But I also like when I go to shows, obviously, and I know the difference between being in the club versus touring your hour. I like watching them, like, work. Watching, like, a comedian, like, go back to his book and make a rather.

[Kevin Clancy]

A workout night than, like, a clean night.

[John Feidelberg]

But you guys are. Are in the minority, I would tell you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Really?

[John Feidelberg]

I have. Because when I bring my stuff on stage, I will hear people, like, get comments. You had to bring a notebook. Aren't you professional?

[Kevin Clancy]

Those are the people who are like, I paid money and I deserve to see, like, a perfect show or whatever.

[John Feidelberg]

It's like, it's like I. Makes me laugh when somebody's like, I heard this, heard this story on the podcast. I'm like, yeah, motherfucker. That's sometimes when I think of jokes or.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that's a writing session that we're putting out.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yes, right, right. We were actually just talking about. Because he's starting to do some stand up with the sketch. They have a sketch show and they're doing a tour and they do some stand up. And like, there are times on the podcast, I hear him just off the top say something.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

I'm like, that would be funny. If you, like, flesh that out and. And we. If we had the means or the time or the ability to, like, go back through thousands of episodes, like, there's probably endless amounts of material that we just blasted off into the abyss. Literally, when we finish the podcast, they'll be like, you know, what clips do you want? Or what do you talk about? I don't know. I don't forget a minute ago, let alone what we were saying in the beginning, where, like, we didn't even, like. I wish. I just wish I had the foresight to, like, write all those down or remember all those, because those are the equivalent for us of like, an open mic night. But you guys were like, I'm gonna do this open mic thing and keep track of it and know it. And you know where we were just like, write a million blogs or blast off a million podcasts. And it's like, that was all funny shit. But we just.

[John Feidelberg]

I've said this before, but it's like the standard that people hold comedians to is so different than almost every other art form. You don't go to a Journey concert and be like, heard, don't stop believing.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right, Right.

[John Feidelberg]

What else you got?

[Kevin Clancy]

Right, Right.

[John Feidelberg]

As a matter of fact, if you don't hear don't stop believing, but if you hear a snow snippet, like, somebody. You know, Rogan's last special, a lot of people were getting on him because he. That's a joke he told on a podcast. That's a joke four years ago. He.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

Well, there was covet, and nobody put out any material, and he still had a joke he wanted to do.

[Kevin Clancy]

There are just, like, stories and that. Like, you know, you'll be like, yo, tell them that story about that time. And it's like, I've told the story a hundred times, and I'm gonna tell it again, and people are gonna enjoy it.

[John Feidelberg]

I just started figuring this out. So maybe my most viewed listen to requested stories. A story about me throw. Pulling a prank on my buddy. I throw him a bachelor party, and instead of a stripper, I hire a big woman to come beat him up.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's a good one.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, right. But for a long time, you know, people were like, after the shows, they were like, oh, I wish you had told that story.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And I was like, well, I don't tell that anymore. And then I went to see Bert.

[Kevin Clancy]

I was gonna say, I mean, they want that dude.

[John Feidelberg]

It was almost part of it. Like, Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yes.

[Kevin Clancy]

You can. You can repeat it with him.

[John Feidelberg]

They wanted it so. And I was like, who the fuck am I? They're this. They're paying the ticket.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yep.

[John Feidelberg]

I know. You know, I don't want to go so far. Like, I'm an artist. I don't repeat.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Also, fuck me. Like, these are the people that are coming to my show. They're my fans. I'm going to do. When I come back to Cities, I do 45 to 50 minutes of new material every year, regardless. But you want to stick around to the end and listen to that story.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's like you had a concert and.

[Dave Portnoy]

They show the mic time to tell a story. When someone else sets you up as, like, dude, you gotta tell the story.

[Kevin Clancy]

Then you have free reign. It wasn't my twist.

[John Feidelberg]

If you went to see Bon Jovi and he was like, I'm not playing. Living on a Prayer, I'd be like, fuck you.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're not.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yes.

[John Feidelberg]

I'm not here for your new song.

[Kevin Clancy]

When they can put the. I would want it to be like, you can put the mic out and they will sing the song. They will. They will say the joke with you. The punchline.

[John Feidelberg]

How flattering is that?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

But by the way, I get why. And I get it. Why people are like, I want to do my old stuff. I get It. I get it. I get it. But if you put it really, you.

[Kevin Clancy]

Have to have really good old stuff. You know what I mean? If you're repeating just like, blah. But when you have a heavy hitter, baby, big, beautiful woman beating up on your buddy, like, you know, I mean, you tell it again.

[John Feidelberg]

But if you went to see Dice, would you like to hear a couple nursery rhymes?

[Dave Portnoy]

Of course.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

That's like, that's what wouldn't you want to hear? And you know, the punchline that's coming, and it doesn't.

[Kevin Clancy]

Well, you know what, though, as you say this, I'm just thinking. We were just having to say discussion the other day about when the Red Sox play Sweet Caroline, when they're down like 11 0, nothing. But it's like he was saying, you know, some dude spent, like, his paycheck to get here, and they want to sing Sweet Carolina.

[John Feidelberg]

Kids are there.

[Kevin Clancy]

Kids are there. It's like, it doesn't matter. They don't even know what the score is.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

And I never thought about that until I started having kids and was like, you want. You just want the whole experience, whether they win or lose. And as like, a business and an entity, they got to do all that. But when you're the die hard fan, which is probably the. The equivalent of like a comedy nerd who, like, watches all the specials and knows all your material, you're like, turn this off. You know, the bases are loaded.

[Tommy Smokes]

We're about to lose to the.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know, whatever. And it's like, yeah, but you're the. You're the dork. You're the. You're the annoying.

[John Feidelberg]

You know, it's true. Like, there's got to be a blend.

[Dave Portnoy]

I like the way Barazi did it on the Tennessee Kid, where he had, like, the three updates where it was. It was. What was it? Ice. Ice coffee, no milk. Ice coffee with milk. It was the. The. The. Not zoo area, but whatever. He had, like, three little updates, but he, like, retold the story to set it up for the new updates. And I was like, oh, that's kind of a perfect world of having. But you can't force an update on your old story.

[John Feidelberg]

That's what Bert did when I saw him last. And I didn't watch Bert for a while either. I tried not to watch anybody that had kids and told kids stories because I was like, I don't want to. I don't want to anyone to say.

[Kevin Clancy]

Parents have the same.

[John Feidelberg]

That's what I'm saying. But I don't want it to Be like, oh, I can't tell that story.

[Dave Portnoy]

It would turn you off to do it.

[John Feidelberg]

I want to still feel like, oh, this was because. Did I think of it on my own or did I think of it because. Right.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. Okay.

[John Feidelberg]

And so I watched Bert and I've heard the machine story. But what he would do is he would depart from the story and do a little offshoot and tell a new joke in the story and come back.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

I'm like, this is the right way to do it. But people want to. They want it. And, like, I think so I've started doing that on my late shows.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Which is just a late show. If you want to stick around, hear the story at the end, I'm going to tell it.

[Dave Portnoy]

You, like, end the show, basically. And then you're like, I'm going to stick around and do a couple more. You guys can leave if you want.

[John Feidelberg]

This is the end of the new material.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

But if you want to hear, if you want to hear this story, if you came for this story, it's. I'm gonna give it to you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

I'm gonna give it to you, B.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're gonna be dancing monkey baby.

[John Feidelberg]

D. I dance.

[Tommy Smokes]

There are just no rules.

[Kevin Clancy]

There are no rules anymore. I. I don't think. I mean, I feel like you guys, like, in comedy, you almost do still follow, like a rule, rules and a code, but, like, if you didn't want to, it's like when I, when I, when I, when I hear about, like, someone who's like a non comic, who is now, like working in clubs and, and people are mad about it or whatever. It's like, if I, if I can rent that space or I can fill those seats, like, shut the fuck up. I'm going to tell it this way. I'm going to do this amount of time or that amount of time, or I'm going to use a fucking screen or music, whatever, man.

[John Feidelberg]

My job, and this has been a revelation in the last five years for me because I used to care so much about what other comics, if they, like, if they were going to come into the room and watch myself. My job is to entertain the people who bought the tickets to the show.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And. And then also to be authentic to who I am. And so I lend myself. I, I like to have fun. I like the people in front of me to have fun. I'm gonna make people uncomfortable sometimes, but in a different way than, say, Hinchcliffe makes people uncomfortable. Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And then one is not Puerto Ricans. Yeah. One is not better or worse. Right. But who. Who are you standing in front of?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And so I know who's coming to see me also.

[Kevin Clancy]

I mean, I think about. I guess that's why sometimes someone like gets like so much respect because it's like he's a comics come. He makes the comics laugh. But I know for myself, like, I know there are tremendously talented and funny people here. I barely watch or consume any of their content because it's like my coworker. And like you said, I repeat, there's a million reasons why someone who's contemporary or a competitor or a co worker or whatever might not laugh at your shit or want to consume your shit as opposed to the people who you're actually going after. Yeah. If I was trying to make Dave Portnoy laugh, you know, I'd be out of business.

[Dave Portnoy]

He ain't never gonna laugh at me.

[Kevin Clancy]

But you know, the people who like me, like me.

[John Feidelberg]

Are you playing to the back of the room?

[Kevin Clancy]

Right? Right.

[John Feidelberg]

Because if you're playing to the back of the room, that's not a recipe.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

For success. Look, dude, I will do an hour of standup and I look outside of say, I tell, I'm a storyteller.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And outside of I would say Joey Diaz, Ron White. I'm not going to say I'm better than everybody. I'm also not going to say anyone's better than me.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

We're all in the same. It just depends on what style you like.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

I put those two dudes in a separate way. Ron does it is so unique and so slow.

[Kevin Clancy]

The voice and everything.

[John Feidelberg]

It's like. And Joey is Joey.

[Dave Portnoy]

When we had. We went to Austin for like Burton Tom's like Porosos debut and Ron White came and it was. That was our first time ever. My first time ever being in the room with one. Right. Ron Wright, he didn't tell jokes or anything, but it was like you could tell every other comic looked at him different.

[John Feidelberg]

As soon as he starts talking and when he's on stage, he leave. It's. It's Southern Cosby, pre rape, probably during rape. But there's no pre rape.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

It's all kind of continuous rape.

[Kevin Clancy]

But pre rape with Cosby's just getting cocktails.

[John Feidelberg]

That was his first album. Bill Cosby, pre rape. First album.

[Kevin Clancy]

Pre raped for so long. Dude, that's actually one of my favorite bits ever, the Chappelle bit about that. Do you know that when he first came back, Chappelle had a like a. I want to say, maybe 12 minutes, 15 minutes. He's given a history lesson. He's like, he started in, like, the Civil Rights movement or whatever it was through, like, contemporary history. And you're kind of like, you're just giving Chappelle the benefit of the doubt at that point. Because he's like, giving a history lesson. Yeah, whatever. And he's like. And that whole time, Bill Cosby was raping people, and I was like, oh, my God, the payoff was incredible.

[John Feidelberg]

What's crazy about him to me is that we will give him five minutes of silence, when, I mean, silence of him talking without jokes.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

Because we all know something's coming that we don't see coming.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

You didn't see that?

[Kevin Clancy]

Nobody. I was almost interested. I was like, wow, I'm learning about, like, the Black Panthers. And like, you know.

[John Feidelberg]

You'Re like, the whole thing was one setup for a Bill Cosby.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And you know how much confidence you have to have in your one punchline.

[Kevin Clancy]

That it's gonna work, that you're giving. You just wasted, like, you know, a quarter of your show.

[John Feidelberg]

Crazy, dude.

[Kevin Clancy]

Anyway, what were you saying? You're saying somebody's. Is Cosby. I totally interrupted you. Wrong way. Right, right.

[John Feidelberg]

Oh, yeah, dude. Like, so. But I don't even remember what I was talking about. But those guys, dude, like, as far as storytelling goes, there's so many of us who are doing it now.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right, right.

[John Feidelberg]

And.

[Kevin Clancy]

But that's like. Yeah, it's, you know, your story. Like, the best part about that is there is there's not going to be. I guess maybe with kids. I understand your point. But for the most part, there's no stealing jokes. There's no parallel thinking. There's like, this is what happened to me.

[John Feidelberg]

It's why I started steering away from jokes and topical stuff. Because somebody else somewhere is writing that joke.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

Unless you're Mitch Hedberg and your joke is so far off the wall that.

[Kevin Clancy]

Nobody could even conceive.

[John Feidelberg]

Dude. But how many people have told the. You want. You want to build a wall to Mexico? Who do you think's building the wall?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right.

[John Feidelberg]

Right.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

But everybody thinks of it is like, well, I thought of that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

And they did.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's like Twitter now if you don't, like, not even now. Cuz I don't use it like I used to. But like, Twitter had a period where it was like, if I am not up on it at all times, if I'm not checking it every second, like, if I'M five minutes later, I'm late. Like, someone has made the joke. The joke happened.

[John Feidelberg]

Okay, I'll give you a good example. One of the last joke jokes I told. It was a joke, basically. It was, you know, my wife and I were talking about, who are. You know, you're. What do you call it when you're. You're hall pass.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And I was like, who's your help? And she said, brad Pitt. And I was like, that's a great choice. And she said, who's yours? I said, janet, who lives next door.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, I can fuck mine, right?

[John Feidelberg]

I got a shot. Let's be realistic, right? And I got a. I got somebody sent out. You know, Patrice told. Nice. You stealing a Patrice joke. I'm like, I never heard it. Somebody else sent out. Larry the Cable Guy told that joke. I'm like, this is.

[Kevin Clancy]

Guys think about. Like, these are jokes that dudes come up with.

[John Feidelberg]

Which is why I never watched Bert or Louie, right? Because I never wanted even a seed in my head did I think of that, right? Or was that already in my head?

[Kevin Clancy]

Right?

[John Feidelberg]

And that's how that joke came out.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, sure.

[John Feidelberg]

So for me, it was not ever worth it. And going back and listening to old Louis CK Is like, fucking amazing. I'm like, have you heard of this guy?

[Dave Portnoy]

He's fucking great. Holy shit, dude. I remember being on, like, a road trip with my dad once. It must have been a hockey road trip. And I was listening to I. I'm so bad with the names of comedy albums. But he has the bit about, like, arguing with his kids about, like, how they have to eat. He's like, you have to eat. The government knows I have you. Like, if I die, like.

[John Feidelberg]

He'S like.

[Kevin Clancy]

That'S a great one.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's like, I have. I have your papers. Like, if you don't, like, they're gonna find out, it's like, I'm gonna get in trouble.

[Kevin Clancy]

My kids are gonna be mal nourished and dead. I'm going to get in trouble.

[Dave Portnoy]

And, dude, we were in absolute. And like, I, like, never seen my dad laugh like that. Like, we were in tears. And then. But then he gets to a bit where he's like. Because then he. Then he Louis it. And then he goes, like, one step too far, which. Where I think it's funny. And then my dad stops laughing. But he's like. He saw about. Like, he wasn't holding his kids down, but he was. He was chewing up food and blowing in their. With a straw on it. My dad was like, all right. What if you're not going to eat? I'll make it. Game time. Game time. Game time. Game time. Game time. You know we love live events. You know we love being in the building. Whether it's a concert, a game, a comedy show, we always use game time. I use it this weekend I went to Wicked. The play, not the movie. I forget I was going to say, but get. Game time is constantly evolving, constantly changing, constantly making things better. Right now they have the Game Time picks filters. It filters out the fluff to show you incredible deals on great seats so you don't have to waste time through searching through thousands of tickets. Like I said, I was looking at Wicked the other day. Let's see what else is in town for game time. Right now that Army Notre Dame this weekend at Yankee Stadium. Rams are playing the Jets. You can probably skip that one. Sam's playing the Giants. You can probably skip that one. Blues at Ranges can probably script that one. If we're being honest, everyone's kind of falling apart. Rhett Islanders, you can probably skip that one. There's a lot of good stuff to see. Okay. Whether or not Tate McCray. Bang. There you go. Nope, that's in September of 2025. I don't know why it's on top of the app. Must have just gone on sale. Whatever. There's always good stuff to see. And you can find that on the Game Time app. All you do is pull up your chosen event, turn on the GT pick setting at the top of the screen, or browse the best local Game Time picks deals near you on your Game Time app homepage. What are you waiting for? I'm gonna go get those Islanders tickets right now.

[John Feidelberg]

No, I'm not.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's a lie. Download the Game Time app today and use code KFC to easily score great deals with the new Game Time picks. What time is it? Game Time who?

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, but that's last night for me.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's very rare, maybe chewed up that.

[John Feidelberg]

I will sit in a room and watch other comics and be inspired.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. At this point in your career at least, right?

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, but it's what I love about stand up so much. And I am a comedy nerd dude. I love comics. I live in Vegas now. I would say the thing that I miss the most is is sitting in a grooming room and chopping it up with people. It's that energy of sitting in a room with comics is a ton of fun. But watching Joey and Louis last night, it is still for me. I'm like, these guys really? And watching Louis work out and same with Joe. Joe's just trying, but their process and, like, how meticulous Louis was with his notes and all that. I'm like, oh, this is still what it takes.

[Kevin Clancy]

I thought he was. I kind of was under the impression when he did the Garden that he was gonna, like, disappear for a while. I guess it has been a while, but I thought it's gonna be like, you know, we'll see louie in like, 10 years.

[John Feidelberg]

Writing. It's crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's funny. You say the. Like, your favorite part of comedy. And what I feel like a lot of comedians say is it's the green room.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Which is funny because that's just the locker room. But I think not a lot of comments played sports.

[John Feidelberg]

It's the camaraderie. Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

I feel like there's a couple sports comics, but for the most part, it's like mma, but it's very rare. You soder, Shane. Yeah, but for the most part, you're not going to Sam with the Knicks. I guess it's more and more. But there was a time where we would be interviewing guys and, like, you.

[John Feidelberg]

Bring up sports and it's like, I do remember. I remember doing a sports radio show. I forget where I was. Ms. Chicago, maybe. And he was. This guy was asking me, like. Like, headline questions.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And I answered, and we were talking about the Red Sox, and I answered and I talked about basically everybody who was in their bullpen at the time. And he was like, oh, okay. So, yes. You know sports.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

Dude, I'm from Boston.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Fuck y. If I did, I would have had to sleep outside.

[Kevin Clancy]

Boston is a little different, but I can.

[John Feidelberg]

Boston, New York, Philly.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, that northeast area. But, like, if you are up. Up on stage every night and you're like, kind of an artsy. You think about your artsy nerds writing little poems, basically. You know? So, like, it doesn't make. It makes sense in that regard. But also, most of, like, you're. You're like a dude. Right.

[John Feidelberg]

Like, most standups, though, weren't the quarterback on the football team.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right, right, right, right.

[John Feidelberg]

You're not looking at a bunch of physique. Like, I bet you that Guy can bench 350. Probably. You're like, he ate 2500 milligrams of weed.

[Dave Portnoy]

Looks like that guy.

[John Feidelberg]

That's the difference for sure. Not a lot of athletic physiques walking on stage.

[Dave Portnoy]

It is like, if you think about it, like, we're all just looking for our locker room. Whether or not you can play sports or not.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like that's what poetic is that gaming, right?

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

But honestly, because you get, you get a locker room when you're a kid. Like, you get, you get, you're given it, you know, you're allowed to play sports. You're supposed to play sports. You do that. And then when you're an adult, like that goes away. Because unless you're a professional athlete, you know, it's gone. And then it's like, well, where's my locker room?

[John Feidelberg]

But you wonder why.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's like a Corona ad. Find your locker room.

[John Feidelberg]

Find your locker room. Great T shirt. You wonder why you people, like, everyone's so tribal. We've always been tribal. We're always looking for that community that who have like minded people.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

That's who I like to chop it up with, whatever locker room it is.

[Kevin Clancy]

The Internet is the devil because it lets people into your. You know, it's like you're not supposed to be here.

[Dave Portnoy]

You haven't do anything to earn your way into my locker room. Right, right. You just created a screen name. And I'm like, I guess this guy's in my locker room.

[Kevin Clancy]

You joined. It's like, no, you weren't invited. You're not good enough. You're not funny enough. And you're killing the vibe. Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

You're in the locker room touching everyone's dick.

[Kevin Clancy]

Listen, we're doing weird stuff with our.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dicks, but you're taking it too far. The locker room's fun because we do.

[Kevin Clancy]

Weird stuff with our dicks, but you.

[John Feidelberg]

No, yeah, we don't touch it. Reverse like that. That's weird.

[Kevin Clancy]

Telling all our locker room secrets, you know, out of here.

[Dave Portnoy]

It sounds gatekeeping to be like the Internet lets anyone into your locker. But I feel like it's also like human nature. You want to earn it. You want to have like something to say, like, I deserve to be here.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And I think on the Internet, I don't think you get it as much as in a comic locker room. I mean, I feel like I get it more than I ever have in a long time now with the podcast with out of order with like other shit, like there's. It's all real life, like, oh, I earned it. I.

[John Feidelberg]

You've spoken to enough comics who have sat here where you're like, oh, I kind of get this community.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

But to just pop somebody in. Look, I, I wrote on TV shows for many years and so a writer's room for somebody who's never sat in a writer's room.

[Kevin Clancy]

I don't think I could do that.

[John Feidelberg]

Is fucking the things that are said in a writer's room. You know what? Chelsea lately, on one writer's room day, we googled Because Chewie was a midget. We googled life expectancy of a midget for a long time and then called him in. We were like, hey, you're doing pretty good, dude.

[Kevin Clancy]

You're on borrowed time.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, dude, you're doing great, man. You're really doing great. But there's. There was no. They, you know, there was no limit. There was a. There was. I. I wiped my nuts on this dude's bagel one day and Chelsea was like, before you do that, let's get the film crew in here. So we filmed it and put it on the show and she thought it was just the funniest thing. So for the next like month or so, she would be like, hey, go put your balls on. And we would just. But anywhere outside of a writer's room, people like, hey, you can't put your balls on other people's stuff.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's a, it's a people. You trust that it's people like, you have more leeway than anyone else in my life, Will. Yes. You got, you got to be sure that you, you have to be positive. You have that leeway. But once you have it, you have it right.

[John Feidelberg]

There are things that grabbing your girlfriend ass.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, you're like, I can't grab a random girl's ass. I got this leeway with her.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's one of my favorite. There was a period of time where being a barstool, the commenters were really funny people before commenters just became like bags, which just suck. And they were, they were all. I was probably like, you know, 25 or 6 when I started and it was just all pro. What I envisioned to be like 40, 50 year old guys who just like hate their wives and. And just had like a locker room. It was that. That was their locker room. And I just remember one of them being like. It was just such a, like a profound but like simple thing. He was just like, isn't it crazy that like once you have a girlfriend, you just can like touch their tits and like grab their ass and stuff. But like, if you did that to a regular girl, like, you're in trouble, but she just lets you do it because you have some sort of like social contract, however you worded it. And I was like, that is just.

[John Feidelberg]

He's so true.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's like, I pick you and you have to let Me touch your ass.

[John Feidelberg]

But it is true.

[Kevin Clancy]

I mean, like, you know, it's just.

[John Feidelberg]

I do think my wife would get me thrown in jail for sure.

[Dave Portnoy]

But we just had this unspoken bond. We're like, yo, you get to do it.

[John Feidelberg]

You see that? Guess what I get to do?

[Kevin Clancy]

I think holes. And that's just it. You wouldn't flip. You walk. Yeah. You walk by your girl in the kitchen, you smack her ass and it's like nobody flinches on either side. You do that, you know, in a bar, it's the wrong person, you're going to jail.

[John Feidelberg]

It's so crazy, but it all goes back to like the idea of the locker room in like minded people. And you're allowed to get away with what the community.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Says is okay in those.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's why when the outsiders come in, it's like, hey, it's weird.

[Dave Portnoy]

You.

[Kevin Clancy]

You don't know the rules. Like, you're not playing by the rules. We're playing by the rules.

[John Feidelberg]

That's right. When someone comes in is like, that's not appropriate. Well, maybe not in your kitchen.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, right, right.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's playing basketball with hockey players.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

They don't follow the rules. They just start playing hockey. We're playing basketball. Stop checking me. Stop pulling me down. You're grabbing me. You're ruining the game.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's the Internet.

[John Feidelberg]

Playing Knicks basketball. Stop.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's so funny.

[Kevin Clancy]

We're playing warriors basketball here. We're shooting. We're just playing fun. You're playing 90s Knicks. Stop it.

[John Feidelberg]

By the way, I couldn't wait to see you just to ask you about the Jets.

[Kevin Clancy]

Josh hates the Jet. Like, loves the Jets. Being bad. Soda said the same thing yesterday. There's something about.

[John Feidelberg]

It's not the jets, it's Aaron Rodgers.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, but there's also. Yo, Aaron, I'm, I'm. There's a part of me that's like relieved that he sucks because we talked about it forever and especially him as a Brady guy. Like.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, thank you.

[Kevin Clancy]

The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the words that got thrown around with Aaron Rodgers. It's like if you want to say that Aaron Rodgers has like, physically the best arm when it comes to throwing a ball.

[John Feidelberg]

Angles, all that, like that accuracy.

[Dave Portnoy]

One tenth of the quarterback position. Right?

[Kevin Clancy]

It's like, it's like having a nice swing in baseball. Like, it doesn't matter.

[Dave Portnoy]

The greatest hitter of all time, right?

[Kevin Clancy]

He had a great swing.

[John Feidelberg]

Watching him hit a ball, you would see him hit one ball. You're like, this dude's the best hitter of all time.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he put a dent in dead center once. It wasn't even the monster anymore. It was like back, you know that, that platform where they filmed the game from. It was like back there. And they're like, I don't think we've ever seen this get dented. No.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, on the Cubs too. You would hit him like over, over the fucking apartments that people, you know. But. But that does not make you the greatest hitter of all time. You know, it's like. And Aaron Rodgers was that guy for me for so long and the jets signed him and I was like, like, I've been talking about this guy forever. And there was this part of me that was like, you know, if he does what he does and the defense is the defense and like, if it all comes together and like, you know, shame on every jets fan for ever thinking it would come together. The only thing I'll say is the, the Achilles was just like. I mean, I guess that's part of the problem though is you signed a 40 year old guy. Yeah, but like, that's just such a freak occurrence that probably everything up and who knows, in an alternate universe that doesn't happen. And who knows? But it did. And it's because he's old. And like, that's part of your risk when you sign a vet like that. And. But now that it's over, it's like, I'm like, dude, I don't like dudes.

[John Feidelberg]

Who cause problems and get people fired and pretend like that was me. What are you talking about?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, like if you do it, like, say it. Fine. Yeah. Like you brought in all your toys, we fired who you wanted fired, we catered to you like a little baby. And, and yes, there's a whole bunch of other problems, but there's been several times where it's like, here's the ball with less than a couple minutes to go, like, do your thing. And he just, it's like he's not.

[Dave Portnoy]

A leader, which is like 70% of the football.

[John Feidelberg]

How many Super Bowls after he won that first super bowl, you're like, oh, this dude's going to win every super bowl for the next one, bro.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, I mean, one is what matters. Like, you, like, it's a sport where if you get your one, like, you're solidified. But you know, it's like Eli has. Would you rather, you know, a Dan Marino? Yeah, right. Like, there is just other, other people who. It's like, I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's also the, like, I'm A Patriots fan. One, same. I'm a Brady fan. Two, this is as my second favorite team. This is probably my most successful season of all time. Like I was thinking about it the other day, watching. I was like, Aaron Rodgers was falling apart. Jets are done. Fantastic. Never have to even hear that ever again. Cross that off the list.

[John Feidelberg]

Agreed.

[Dave Portnoy]

Patrick Mahomes is having a season that Tom Brady wouldn't dream of having. He's like 10 touchdowns, 10 picks, like never in a million years. Guess what? That's off the list now. Right? And Drake May's the guy.

[John Feidelberg]

Drake May looks good. The guy. Oh, he looks good.

[Kevin Clancy]

He's your guy. But like I was watching. Would you like to have everybody though? So until.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes, you did.

[John Feidelberg]

I never said that about jacoby percent.

[Kevin Clancy]

Maybe not you individually, but who was.

[Dave Portnoy]

The other with the one right before Mac Jones?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, I heard Mac Jones was the guy too.

[Dave Portnoy]

Fuck off. Mac Jones. Mac Jones.

[Kevin Clancy]

You guys are the guys who. You're the fan base who cried wolf. It's like there was admittedly couple good games.

[Dave Portnoy]

Admittedly there was a stretch of Mac Jones. Not even a stretch. They were like. There were games where I'd be like, he's showing signs. I've watched Drake May play full games. Where I go, that's the guy. Like I was. I was watching Herbert Burrow Sunday night going, these guys aren't doing anything Drake May can't do.

[John Feidelberg]

Take it easy.

[Dave Portnoy]

They do.

[John Feidelberg]

Dude. Drake May ask you a question.

[Kevin Clancy]

Fucking good watch Tom Brady. You think he would be a little more like, well, wait a minute before you start crowning people before we also hand them out.

[Dave Portnoy]

You wouldn't listen to everybody.

[John Feidelberg]

What was Brady's first full season? What were his stats like? Because I bet you, I mean it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Was a different league. They weren't. They weren't. They weren't. Tom Brady. He wasn't. I don't think he was Brady Brady.

[John Feidelberg]

But he wasn't. But his interceptions were still down. I mean, because Mahomes right now also something's going on.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's my point.

[John Feidelberg]

His left.

[Dave Portnoy]

You could compare it to Brady season one. This is what I'm not doing at Brady season 10.

[John Feidelberg]

No, but Brady season one. But Mahomes season one is so much better than Brady season one.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, right.

[John Feidelberg]

It's not even like. Like how didn't the second season he had 50 touchdowns or something crazy like that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Mahomes.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't. I don't know, but it wouldn't shock me.

[John Feidelberg]

Crazy. Yeah, I. I'm with you though. I. Because I'M such a homer. I root against the Chiefs not because I actually dislike them.

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[John Feidelberg]

I just don't want their dynasty compared.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's the most natural thing in the world.

[Dave Portnoy]

And I actually. It's actually eased my Brady defense too because it's when Brady was Brady and like we were humming.

[John Feidelberg]

Yep.

[Dave Portnoy]

I was like we're never going to see this again in the history of sports.

[John Feidelberg]

Yep.

[Dave Portnoy]

Mahomes is already close enough where I'm like we will one day. So. Okay. I'm not as like holding it in a death grip. Like it actually happens pretty fast how you get the next. You know it went from. It didn't go quite go Montana Brady. But they Brady wasn't that far after Montana either.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And like it so it will happen. There will be another Brady. And even. Even if cheese fans want to tell me like if a cheese fans argue with me Mahomes is better. I'd be like, look man, you're never going to win me over. That's fine because I felt what Tom Brady made me feel. But I see your argument like it's not a crazy argument you're making.

[John Feidelberg]

It really bummed me out when people like Kelsey's better than Gronk. I'm like I don't want to say y. Because Gronk dealt with injuries that and and a non injury Gronk. Who knows how long that dude plays and because he was running people over.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

And I always wondered why he took such bigger hits than Kelsey like he would take. Maybe because he looked for the contact for a while. I'm not sure.

[Kevin Clancy]

Part of the almost problem with Gronk is why he was so awesome. I think he also was like risking his body and loved the. You know, it's like, well now your back's broken, dude. You know for the record it was. He went his first full season, Brady went 18 touchdowns, 12 interceptions. Then he went 28 touchdowns, 14 interceptions.

[John Feidelberg]

Right. So that first season feels somewhere in this Mahomey thing right now.

[Dave Portnoy]

But this is that season one versus I think this is Mahomes.

[Kevin Clancy]

What 2002, 28 touchdowns. They bowled. It's bowled on football reference. So I think that was the league leader which 28 touchdowns was the lead.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dude, the league back then was. I mean that was when you had fucking Antoine smith was getting 30 carries a game.

[John Feidelberg]

Right. Quarterbacks were Corey Dillon.

[Kevin Clancy]

And then in 2007.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

50 fucking touchdowns.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

50 touchdowns, eight interceptions.

[John Feidelberg]

That's like ridiculous numbers.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but.

[John Feidelberg]

But what year did the league change just really start to change?

[Dave Portnoy]

After the tie Law, like three picks, which was the O4 Super bowl, maybe that was when the Colts complained after that that the.

[John Feidelberg]

They were manhandling.

[Dave Portnoy]

They were manhandling the wide receivers. And then the lead, the rules changed on five yards after contact. And that's when I think, at least.

[John Feidelberg]

I think, you know, football and basketball, I would love to see a blend of the old and the new. One of the. I can't watch regular season basketball, but I'll watch shocks.

[Kevin Clancy]

People trying to catch up.

[John Feidelberg]

Basketball.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Because they let you body each other.

[Kevin Clancy]

Up, but also the players body each other up. But this is what regular season is just like, bombs away. Half court shot, Half court shot. Half court shot. I'm gonna get it. But it's like, boring. It was cool when like two guys were doing it, like Damian Lillard and Steph Curry was like, whoa. But when everybody does it, it's like, this just sucks. That's why I think Anthony Edwards is like the. The savior. Like, he's the only one and I think might re restart another because it really is like a. Like what Steph Curry was doing. Steph Curry's cool because he just let the world know you can do something. Like, I think everyone's like, you can't shoot from half court. And then he did it in a regular. And then there was. Bro, forget about regular dudes in the NBA. There's highlights of sixth graders.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, there was a.

[Kevin Clancy]

There was one that went viral where it was like sixth grade kids, bombs away. Like three half court shots in a row. And it was like, we just unlocked this thing. Like, oh, you can do that now. But now I need another generation to know that you can, like, go to the hoop and hammer it on someone. And that's the way to play.

[John Feidelberg]

Last night, Carl Anthony Towns, he pump face at the three point line. Guy jumps, he steps. And I'm like, oh, he's got a clear path to the shoots.

[Kevin Clancy]

It.

[John Feidelberg]

He doesn't. Then he steps back. I'm like, dude, did two steps to go run, bro. It went in.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's the problem.

[John Feidelberg]

I don't want to see Wemby shoot threes.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, right.

[John Feidelberg]

What are you doing out there, dude? You're nine feet tall. You don't have to jump to dunk. How easy is this game for you? What are we doing?

[Kevin Clancy]

Get down by the basket. All due respect to Giannis with the freak nickname, like, he's. It's. He's a literal. I love that they like Nike. His symbol is an alien. Like, he's literally an alien. That man is like, he's, he's an alien walking on the planet blocking shots.

[John Feidelberg]

Of other seven footers going up for dunks without jumping.

[Kevin Clancy]

He's just like, dude, he takes like two steps to get from the free, the opposite free throw line to the, it's other hoop.

[Dave Portnoy]

I, I saw, I don't, I don't watch basketball that closely, but I remember seeing a video where it was like, he won defensive player of the year. Did he?

[Kevin Clancy]

No, he did not. That was like people, they gave it to Rudy Gobert again and it was.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, right, so this video was. If you have any question why he, he actually is the defensive player of the year. It was like he hit a three and then the team he hit, they hit it on, like got the ball down quick. Like they had like three guys down. And he stopped.

[Kevin Clancy]

Everybody stopped, everyone. Right? Like the guy didn't go for a layup. And whoever he passes to, he closed out.

[John Feidelberg]

By the way, he can cover.

[Kevin Clancy]

I mean, honestly, when he puts his hands out, it's probably at least two people, if not like three defenders standing.

[John Feidelberg]

In the middle of the key. And he just pivots on his left foot. He can cover the three point line.

[Kevin Clancy]

And the basket at the same time and the sideline. It's unreal.

[John Feidelberg]

But, but we're going towards like, when I was growing up, there was a guy named Ralph Sampson and he might have been the first big guy. Like, oh, he has got some. He's dribbling the ball. Robert Parish did not dribble the basketball, the court, you know, that was like, what are you doing?

[Kevin Clancy]

That was something like Ralph Samson was like, I'm just going to do this too.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know what I mean? And then guys started to. And that was pretty early. So it still took a long time. But even like by the time Shaq got to the league, there was those highlights every now and then where he would just take it up to court and people were 100%, but nobody was.

[John Feidelberg]

Getting in front of him.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, as soon as he started running.

[John Feidelberg]

People were like, that's two points. I'm not taking that charge.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[Kevin Clancy]

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[Dave Portnoy]

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[Kevin Clancy]

Dude, I was at my, my daughter's first basketball game. She's in third grade and how old is that?

[John Feidelberg]

Third grade?

[Kevin Clancy]

She's turning nine in. She's eight right now. She's almost nine. And we went to this court, we went to this place. It was like I felt like I was at like Rucker park or I was like in the cage or something. It was this tiny gym where they just had a row of fold out seats that were, it was like being courtside. Your feet were on the sideline.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

And then they had like a, it was an auditorium so they had a stage and this place was packed out and sweaty and loud, bro. Like loud people. I was like, oh shit. I was thinking like I'm just gonna go watch these girls like putter around. And I mean people are like box out, box out. Get the rebound.

[John Feidelberg]

Like you were like I should have brought better snacks. Capri Sun. I should have come correct.

[Kevin Clancy]

So fucking unbelievable to watch it, man. And I had, dude, I remember I.

[John Feidelberg]

Coached my kids teams yeah. And I played lower level college baseball. And so. I know. And we used to. The Division 1 teams used to come down because I played in Texas. And you would see the difference between us and the division. The Division 1 players, they had all five tools. Yeah, right. And all of them played shortstop and pitch on their high school team. Every single one of them. Right. And on my team, like, we had like a first baseman. You know, the dude who could hit. His hands are super fast, but he was short and fat. It took him like he was going station to station.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

We had a bunch of those dudes on our team. But you the difference in. So when I'm coaching these kids, I would tell people to begin the year. I watch tryouts. Nobody's going pro.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

None of your kids are going pro.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

I'm telling you right now. So let's take it easy on screaming from the stands because you're not going to be helping any of them. There was this one dude who. He wore the short gym coach those shorts. And there were. His son liked to pick flowers in the ice, in the outfield.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And he. He hated it. He was like, pay attention.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And so he came up to me one day and he was like, look, my son wants to play shortstop. And I turned to it, I go, do you want to play shortstop? He's like, yeah. And it was one of those all dirt fields. Bouncers are never true.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

That.

[Kevin Clancy]

You're just like, they're coming fast.

[John Feidelberg]

You're coming fast. In a hop, you look like, it's here and it's here or it's here. So he put the kid as short. He's not paying attention. Ball gets it to him, bounces up, hits him in the chest. And so I run up and he's. And the whole team's around him. There's like 10 year. 10 year olds, right? And so everyone's concerned for this kid. All the other players, and the guy runs on the field, he's like, get up, you're okay. Get up, you're okay. And this dude, he was squatting down.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, no.

[John Feidelberg]

And this one kid goes. This One kid goes, Mr. Thompson, your penis is hanging out. And that guy never came back to another bro. He was just like, oh, yeah, I probably should.

[Kevin Clancy]

I'm gonna be on a list, dude. It's funny, it's funny. You say this kid got hit in the chest. So Keith, my son, just joined a travel team and he was like, how old? He is seven. So he's crazy.

[John Feidelberg]

This travel team.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Well. But he.

[Kevin Clancy]

Well, he's. He's on an eight. He's, like, playing a little bit up. So.

[Dave Portnoy]

So we.

[Kevin Clancy]

We went from, like, coach pitch. No umpires, no outs. Just everybody gets the hit. And he's hitting, I'm putting. I'm. I throw it like a dart to him, and it's like, the same place every time. He's getting dingers. He thinks he's Babe Ruth. We go to play on a travel team, he's in the deep end. And these kids are awesome. I'm convinced that, like, all these kids are going to be professional athletes one day. I'm like, you can't be better than this at the age of, like, seven or eight. They're also ridiculous. They have. Some kids have sliding mitts and shit. It's just like. Like, first of all, none of you are sliding headfirst.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, here's.

[Kevin Clancy]

None of you have, like, broken hands that you need to protect. Like, but they want to look like.

[Dave Portnoy]

I immediately rolled my eyes at that. But, like, I wore Iverson shooting sleeve.

[Kevin Clancy]

Absolutely same shit.

[Dave Portnoy]

I didn't even play. Played back. I played CYO basketball for, like, three years. I wore a shooting.

[Kevin Clancy]

But so. So Keegan's in over his head and, like. And he's learning, you know, trial by fire. So it's, you know, tough season, and we're working through it all, and. And. But anyway, he. So he's up at the plate, and I'm like, he's too afraid to swing. And I'm like, bro, just swing the bat three times. I don't care where the balls are. First pitch right at him. He has to turn to get out of the way. Thumps in the chest. And I'm talking the whole.

[John Feidelberg]

He turned out.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, he, like, he. He turned away like this. And it was so outside, like, it was such a wild pitch.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Boom.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, thud. Like that. We all hear it, like. And I. I've never been prouder because I was like, that's it. We are never playing baseball again. Because I know he's going to be like. We had just come from flag football, where he was crying if, like, someone pulled his flag, let alone getting a ball to the chest. It hurts. You're embarrassed. The whole nine. And I had. There was, like, a netting that you had to go under, right? And I. So I put my head under to. I immediately ran on the field being like, A, I've heard horror stories of, like, kids get hit in the chest and dying. Their heart stops, whatever. And B, I was like he's gonna be crying and I want to just like scoop him up and get him away. And by the time I went under and got my head up, he was running to first I saw smiling and everyone was kind of like, oh yeah. And it was like, I, I, I've never, it was just like the range of emotions are swinging, you know. But I was ready to run on the field too, the same way that I got.

[John Feidelberg]

What did you say to him when you got in the car?

[Kevin Clancy]

Well, right away, first of all, he was like, he's like, he was like. I think he was pushing. He was like, I think there's gonna be a bruise there. There's gonna be rude there.

[Dave Portnoy]

Awesome.

[Kevin Clancy]

And I was like, yeah. I was like, dude, that you're the toughest guy in the world. You're the man. You were the strongest about himself.

[John Feidelberg]

Right?

[Kevin Clancy]

100. Like I was pro. Short of like hitting a home run, that was probably the coolest thing that could have happened to him. He was telling everybody. Yeah, dude, it was, it was great.

[John Feidelberg]

I bet you he drew.

[Kevin Clancy]

He wanted there to be a Bruce so bad. I was, bro. That pitch was like 23 miles an hour. There's not gonna be a bruise. But put it this way. There it was. It was enough though that all the dads were asking me if he wore one of those chest protectors that kids.

[John Feidelberg]

Wear cuz he just Kevl under his.

[Kevin Clancy]

Well, kids wear those now cuz there's like these freak occurrences.

[John Feidelberg]

They do.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's like a, it's like a, it's a specific baseball thing that it's like a little plastic kind of chest protector under your uniform. Uniform. Yeah. It's a little bit extreme, but there are, you know, there's stories of kids getting line drives and pitches and where I think it hits you in your heart. I think there is a beat when other dads are asking you if your son's wearing equipment. Armor ate it. And I was like, no, it's natural. That's that Clancy blood.

[Dave Portnoy]

I worry.

[Kevin Clancy]

And I would have been like.

[Dave Portnoy]

I wore a. I wore lacrosse rib protectors because I had mono. And if I got hit in the spleen, I would have died. But the only reason I could play with mono is because my mom forged the doctor's note.

[Kevin Clancy]

Gangster.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then she got me the lacrosse pads.

[Kevin Clancy]

You want to talk about for real.

[John Feidelberg]

You can die if you get hit in the spleen with mono.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And then your mom was like, you're going to be all right.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was championship game. It was my sophomore Season, maybe.

[Kevin Clancy]

Legs fly forever, babe. Get out there.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was the net knapsack. The New England prep school. Whatever. Championship.

[John Feidelberg]

What prep school did you go to?

[Dave Portnoy]

Ports of the Abbey in Rhode Island. And she was like, do you want to play? And I was like, yeah, I want to play.

[Kevin Clancy]

She's like, literally, the job of the parent is to, like.

[Dave Portnoy]

Of course the kids can say, he wants to play.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, you're gonna die if you play.

[John Feidelberg]

Your parents are supposed to be like, you shouldn't play.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right, Right.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's what parents are there for.

[Dave Portnoy]

I remember. And then we won. And I was celebrating on the field with my coach, and I was like, just, you know, my mom forged that letter. Fights. Don't tell me that.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's great.

[John Feidelberg]

That's a different time, man. Yeah, I don't remember any. Right. Growing up. I don't know if my. Our. My. Our parents didn't know about safety or just didn't care, but it was never like, a huge concern of, like, hey, you might get hurt, right? I.

[Kevin Clancy]

No, it's like, you're gonna get hurt, and it's gonna be okay.

[John Feidelberg]

I was talking to a friend of mine about this the other day, and he's got kids, and I. I go, do you remember, dude, I used to get on the handlebars of your bike. No helmets, either one of us. And we used to go to the store and buy your dad's cigarettes. And he was like, yeah, I remember that. We would walk in, the guy was like, I can't sell you cigarettes. And the guy would be like, it's for my dad. And he'd be like, okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

Good old day. That was it, dude.

[John Feidelberg]

We would come back with some marble reds for this dude's dad on the handlebars. And the guy was like, you're good kids. We were like, right. My neighbor used to call me at the house. He was like, oh, the Jew kids here. I wasn't offended. I'm like, that is me.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I am the J kid. Like, it's funny, like. Like how language evolved. Words mean different things at different times. Almost like, what we were talking about the locker room earlier, like, at that stage. Some people used it racistly, but some people were like, I don't know. This is just common, right? How we talk.

[John Feidelberg]

Descriptive.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm not. I don't think less of these people.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's just separated me from the other ones, is.

[John Feidelberg]

I was the Jew.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, dude, I. We. We lived. We had one kid who was Jewish in, like, our. Our community, and, like, didn't even, like, Understand that there was, like, others out there.

[John Feidelberg]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Clancy]

It was like, I don't know. This is like the weird kid. And then you get outside, like, in the rest of New York City, like, oh, there's. There's more of them out there.

[John Feidelberg]

How many times did he have to explain what matzo was? People like, what? Say that again.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yo. It's funny you bring up this Jewish. I, I said, this Jewish. I, I, I sat shiva the other day.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, well.

[Kevin Clancy]

But what I thought was going to be shiva there was this whole story. I ran into this family. They were fans of mine, their father, literally. I was at the hospital.

[John Feidelberg]

Oh, I saw that story. Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

And. And they were like, will you come sit shiva? And. And I thought it was going to be like, the real sit shiva. But they had, I think they did that with their family. And then they had, like, a party. And I walked in and I was like, this is an Irish wake. I get, I get what's going on. Like, I know how to do that game.

[John Feidelberg]

So it's.

[Kevin Clancy]

I didn't know. Did you. Was that, Is that a. You guys do that or was that, was that, like an exception for them?

[John Feidelberg]

I. My family was not super Jewish. Right. We did most of the high holidays, and every now and then we'd do like, Shabbat, but, like, but we still had.

[Kevin Clancy]

I mean, that's the equivalent of Christmas and Easter.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Christian. Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah. But I mean, except the week of no bread when you're a kid makes you the weird when you come in with a peanut butter and jelly on matzah and people like, what the is that?

[Dave Portnoy]

What's that?

[Kevin Clancy]

No bread. What's that?

[John Feidelberg]

Is the fasting.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, that's the one you're atoning or whatever.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah. And then I think there's a week of no bread, and then maybe Rosh Hashanah's New Year, so it must be Passover leading up to Passover.

[Kevin Clancy]

Got it.

[John Feidelberg]

Something somewhere around there, I would ask a real Jew, are you 100?

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, are you both?

[John Feidelberg]

I'm 100. Jewish. Yeah. I, I.

[Kevin Clancy]

Did you raise your kids religious at all?

[John Feidelberg]

No.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, bar mitzvah and.

[John Feidelberg]

No, I left all that up to them, my bro, and they didn't do it. I was like, you're missing out on some money.

[Kevin Clancy]

As a, as a gentile. I remember I got like, 400 bucks for my confirmation, and the Jews were getting legit. Like, you're in, like, you're in, like, sixth or seventh grade. You get five grand.

[John Feidelberg]

It's like, what can I Tell you. So the guy who taught me how to read out of the Torah, my dad was this cheap.

[Kevin Clancy]

The cheap, deepest well.

[John Feidelberg]

And so. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He hired this dude. I'll never forget this dude named Dennis. He smelled the worst. He came in with his shirt buttoned down to here with just hair and.

[Kevin Clancy]

Well, that's a guy that you want teaching you the door, though, you know?

[John Feidelberg]

Except when you would. He would be teaching you, and he would twist his chest hair and pull some out and sprinkle it. He would sprinkle it on the. Sprinkle it. And I was. It was hard for me to concentrate. I was always. Money smell.

[Dave Portnoy]

No fucking kidding.

[John Feidelberg]

When he smelled. So I was always like. But when he would be like. When he would go. So when you do it.

[Kevin Clancy]

Just when he would be like, when you do it.

[Dave Portnoy]

I was always like.

[John Feidelberg]

He was Salt Bay.

[Kevin Clancy]

Dude.

[John Feidelberg]

And so I would tell my dad, I was like, dennis is sprinkling chest hair. And he was like, yeah, but he's like 15 bucks an hour.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Because everybody else. He gets fired for sprinkling his chest on the fucking ground, dude. The worst part, I was. My dad was like, after the. After we do the class, he'd go, hey, go sweep up Dennis's chest hair. And I'd be like, why do I gotta go? My dad was like, I don't want to step on it with my bare feet. I'm like. So I had to go get the little dust pan. It was pretty bad.

[Kevin Clancy]

It was brutal, dude.

[John Feidelberg]

It was baruch atah. It was fucking so gross, dude. Why? I don't know what. What part you start doing that or if it's a nerd.

[Kevin Clancy]

Well, you know what, though? Like, it's probably one of those things that, like, I'm trying to think of. There's definitely, like, weird shit that, like. Like, I don't know. I'm always, like, biting my nails and clipping my nails and shit, and I'm. And when I do it in front of other people and they're like, that's gross. You know? But it's like, I. That's what I mean. Like, there. You have certain habits that I think you do at home, and then eventually you do them so often, maybe it bleeds out into real life. Pulling out your chest hair and sprinkling it, it ain't one of them.

[John Feidelberg]

But butting your nails, I think is pretty universal for.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah, you're right. Right. That's like a. You've seen it before. Ain't nobody ever seen that before.

[John Feidelberg]

No, there's never been a time where.

[Kevin Clancy]

I just picture him like at the bar talking to girls. Like, you know, I don't think he.

[Dave Portnoy]

Talked to many girls.

[John Feidelberg]

I just. Just on the Bo alone, I don't find.

[Kevin Clancy]

You got to find a nice Jewish boy. There's a lid for every pot, man.

[John Feidelberg]

Dude, this guy, when he came to the bar mitzvah, nobody, he was sitting by himself. Everybody else was all, you know, grouped together and he was just in the back. Dennis, straight up.

[Dave Portnoy]

Gross, dude.

[John Feidelberg]

I. I don't know how you would start that feels like a nervous habit.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's what I mean. Like he. He does not even realize he's doing it. Like he's just on autopilot. You need someone in your life to check you, bro. Somebody be like, hey, stop doing that.

[John Feidelberg]

And my dad wouldn't, cuz he was so cheap.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

He like.

[Kevin Clancy]

Dude, how's Vegas? Vegas is.

[John Feidelberg]

I love it more than any place I've ever lived.

[Kevin Clancy]

Really?

[John Feidelberg]

Are you living like, I live in Henderson. It's like 15 minutes outside. It's the quietest place I've ever lived.

[Kevin Clancy]

Why'd you go there?

[John Feidelberg]

My wife, you know, we had gone from LA to Nashville. We wanted to get out of la, right? We went to la, to Nashville. And she just hated the weather. She's not into the cold, she's not into the humidity. There was a tornado season. She was like, season like spring, summer, tornado.

[Kevin Clancy]

Nashville has that, like that.

[John Feidelberg]

It's crazy. It's not Southern weather. It's mid. It's Midway. It's.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. You think Nashville is hot and then you realize, yeah, it's.

[John Feidelberg]

And so she. And we both have had really, really bad bouts with mold toxicity. So we've had to really just gravitate towards hot and dry. And so I was not moving to Arizona where my. The old Jews are. I'm not old enough.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, not yet.

[John Feidelberg]

Not. I'm not saying no. But I'm not old.

[Dave Portnoy]

As long as I'm not picking my own chest hairs out, I'm not ready for it.

[Kevin Clancy]

There's going to be a day where you're going like this. You go, oh, honey, we're moving to Arizona.

[John Feidelberg]

Look up, Scott. But I love Vegas, man. I have a residency there every Monday night.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's awesome. Are you a gambler and like a, you know, like is sirens calling you, the vice calling you or you? Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

So that is something I do can do from anywhere. So it's not worse because I'm there.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

And I honestly don't like the people who gamble Enough. I'd go and play blackjack, but I hate the fucking people at the table so much.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right, right.

[John Feidelberg]

There's always like an Asian dude who's yelling at you because you took a car. Like what the fuck?

[Kevin Clancy]

Or bachelor party. Whatever variation of Vegas it is, it's not something you want to be around consistently.

[John Feidelberg]

At least it's not. And we go down there every now and then just for food or whatever or for show.

[Kevin Clancy]

Are your kids living?

[John Feidelberg]

Jacob's there.

[Kevin Clancy]

He lives at home.

[John Feidelberg]

Jacob lives not with us, but he's in Vegas and he tours with me now.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right, right. Which is like, bro, it's. It's. It's Bron and Bronnie.

[John Feidelberg]

The original.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, Griffey and Griffey.

[John Feidelberg]

That's true.

[Kevin Clancy]

There's a documentary coming out about them soon. And by the way, MLB is putting out awesome documentaries and I haven't watched any of them because they're impossible to find. But they're all.

[Dave Portnoy]

What are they?

[Kevin Clancy]

There was a Greg Maddox one. Yeah, there was.

[John Feidelberg]

The Maddox clips are insane. Have you seen the clips online?

[Kevin Clancy]

Set up bag well in the regular season for the postseason. Incredible. Incredible. This one is.

[Tommy Smokes]

Come on in.

[Kevin Clancy]

Join the party.

[Dave Portnoy]

Tommy John, hands down, the best underwear I've ever worn. Everything Tommy John makes is meticulously crafted from breathable stretch fabric for the perfect fit, including their loungewear and sleepwear for both him and her. Be the goat. We addressed this last time, but I have to address it again. The goat doesn't really make sense here because they're making it it the greatest gifter of all time. That's two GS. You have to be the double G goat. The double go. The go. I don't know. Whatever. Just give Tommy John. It feels good to give, but it feels great to give Tommy John knowing you're upgrading their lives. Honestly, people always talk about gifts for men and they guys whine about it all the time. I don't get good presents. All you need is underwear. Just get like. I don't buy myself underwear. I know. Most of the guys I know don't buy themselves underwear. Buy us some Tommy John's. We'll be happy. I love putting on a fresh pair underpants. With over 21 million pairs sold and thousands of five star reviews. Giving. Giving Tommy John is a great holiday tradition. Great days begin with great underwear. That is very true. Don't miss Tommy John's spectacular Cyber Monday sale. For their best deals of the season, save 40% off site [e-mail] KFC 40% a big number. 40% off for limited time at tommyjohn.com KFC.

[Kevin Clancy]

I figured this might happen.

[John Feidelberg]

Dude, you legit.

[Tommy Smokes]

You.

[John Feidelberg]

You legit look like a sailor on leave.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Hey, this dude could pick some chest hair.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah. This is a chest hair picker right here.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, those pants, too.

[John Feidelberg]

I'm telling you, he's a sailor on leave. This dude right here.

[Tommy Smokes]

Get over here and suck my.

[John Feidelberg]

You know, you said it like, that's what happens when you walk in here.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're ruining everything. I. I took a step.

[John Feidelberg]

I was like, he might say, yeah, yeah, yeah. What if he doesn't stop me?

[Dave Portnoy]

Let's see what I'm getting into first.

[John Feidelberg]

What if he's like, yeah, keep coming. Big one. Yeah. You took one step. Don't be scared.

[Kevin Clancy]

The salt and pepper on both of you, but the salt and pepper on you is a look.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's getting mostly salt, you know?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, it's a lot of salt. But.

[John Feidelberg]

But you know what's crazy is that same with my mustache. It's the last thing.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

To go.

[Tommy Smokes]

I was hoping jet black eyebrows and jet black stache. That's a good look. And then fucking silver everywhere.

[John Feidelberg]

Jet black books.

[Kevin Clancy]

They kind of have it.

[Tommy Smokes]

What were you guys talking about? No, it's all the same.

[Kevin Clancy]

Jewish men pulling hair out of their chest and sprinkling it on the ground.

[John Feidelberg]

Taught me my bar mitzvah. He used to pull. He used to pick his chest hair and sprinkle.

[Tommy Smokes]

Dude, no Jew talk today. I've been living in Texas. I'm already over it. I've had enough.

[Kevin Clancy]

You're so not a Texas guy, bro.

[Tommy Smokes]

I know, but I was very scared, you know, Cuz I am east coast as.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. You look great, people.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, everyone's just fat and jolly.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, it's true.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's awesome.

[John Feidelberg]

And they all think you're Joe Pesi.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dude.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's. There's none of us.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, there's none.

[Tommy Smokes]

There's none of us. You know, I met one guy with, like, an eye on his. His last name. I was like, I found you. What do you want to do? Let's do something.

[Dave Portnoy]

You play pool?

[Tommy Smokes]

I don't either.

[Dave Portnoy]

Who gives a.

[John Feidelberg]

What are you doing in town?

[Tommy Smokes]

I have. I'm a Y G. This POD and birthday dinner.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, it's your birthday.

[Kevin Clancy]

Happy birthday.

[John Feidelberg]

Today.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's your birthday today.

[John Feidelberg]

How old are you?

[Kevin Clancy]

How old is Tommy?

[John Feidelberg]

Well, let's all guess. Let's all guess.

[Kevin Clancy]

He's older than he looks.

[John Feidelberg]

I. He's one of those dudes who could be 55 or 38.

[Dave Portnoy]

I was gonna say 42.

[Kevin Clancy]

I'm. You're not in the. I think you're high 40s. You're not 50 yet, but you're older than you look.

[John Feidelberg]

No.

[Tommy Smokes]

Three quince.

[John Feidelberg]

You're 45.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, dude. Yeah, bro.

[Dave Portnoy]

That one's gonna take me an hour. Thank God for the LA board.

[Tommy Smokes]

Get him some crayons and work, bro.

[John Feidelberg]

You.

[Kevin Clancy]

You don't know anybody who's worse at math than this, really. Like, if numbers are set, I can physically watch his eyes.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, his brain checks out. He's just like, I don't know, someone else.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, it should be standard. The fat girl, Mexican in a ball gown is 15.

[John Feidelberg]

Everybody knows who's better at math than the Jew sitting on the couch. I have three times 15.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know what I love is. Is the gambling math. Like. Like portnoy. I. You know, I don't know anything about his. Like, if he could do, like, real math. But, you know, you ask him anything about gambling, it's like, okay, you know, he knows the exact amount to bed and the exact number to cover and all that.

[John Feidelberg]

It gets old. It gets different when you get older. You know what math I do now? Like, if I go. If the show starts at 10 o'clock, I'm gonna be home at midnight. I go to sleep by one. I'm gonna get six hours. Like, it's a different whole week. Yeah, I'm playing it out.

[Dave Portnoy]

I do some. I'll be in bed at.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, do that all the time.

[Kevin Clancy]

Get home to me is like. I get home and I'm, like, instantly in, like, a robe and on the couch with, like, a fire and a beer and a movie within, like, 30 seconds.

[John Feidelberg]

What's with that creepy kid in your backyard? That little statue, Is it still there?

[Kevin Clancy]

Still? I'm not touching that thing.

[John Feidelberg]

There's something buried back there.

[Tommy Smokes]

Something about your kid.

[Dave Portnoy]

We touching it? My wife loves him.

[John Feidelberg]

I keep them in the backyard.

[Kevin Clancy]

Charlie, get out of here. I bought my house and I. I really don't know what happened, happened because I. We walked the property when I was looking at the house, and we walked the backyard and. Not me, my family, the real estate agent. Nobody saw this thing. And then, like, as soon as I bought it, the first week, my dad's at the house, he's doing work, and he goes, oh, like. Like he made some joke. We got your first squatter at the house. And I was like, what does that mean? He's like, the statue in the backyard. He sends me a Picture. And it's this little kid with a Freddy Krueger like, polo striped shirt on. And it has, like, real hair. And it was just, like, in the backyard. I was like, that was not there.

[Tommy Smokes]

Just a Halloween thing.

[John Feidelberg]

No.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's like, it's very hard to. I don't know what it is. And it's got rocks at the bottom, like, in a circle to, like, hold it down.

[Tommy Smokes]

Has anything happened to you since she found this?

[Kevin Clancy]

There it is.

[John Feidelberg]

This. This thing.

[Kevin Clancy]

Look at that. Is in my backyard.

[John Feidelberg]

That is that thing.

[Kevin Clancy]

See that? Like, the little statue? You just do Control plus down here.

[John Feidelberg]

Do you not know how the Internet works? This thing?

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, my God.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah. His arm.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's his head. That hair is, like, real hair, dude.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's kind of sick.

[Kevin Clancy]

Jeans on, and he's kind of got a fit. He's pulling a fit off.

[John Feidelberg]

Do you know? Sometimes.

[Kevin Clancy]

But I. I went back and forth on. If you leave it, like, does it. You know, now it's like, this is my house. Or if you touch it, does it, like, let the spirits out or whatever. But whatever that is, I. I actually had a moment. You know when you're watching a horror movie and you're like, why are they doing this? Or why are they doing that? Like, I would never. You know, And I was like. I had a real. I was. I was walking out there to, like, film it.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

And I was like, it was nighttime. It was also. I have, like, this shed, and there was a light on. I was like, I didn't put that light on. So I was kind of, like, freaked out. And I was like, I'm gonna go, like, film this and make content. And I stopped, and I was like, I'm not doing this. I was like, I'm. I'm genuinely too afraid right now. I'm just gonna go back.

[Tommy Smokes]

Give me 100 bucks. I'll take that out tomorrow. You don't seem launched that I look.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like a guy who believes in.

[Tommy Smokes]

Nothing's gonna happen to me.

[John Feidelberg]

He's talking about spirits.

[Dave Portnoy]

Don't want this to be.

[John Feidelberg]

Can I tell you the easily the gayest thing I ever do in my life is I'll text Tommy. I'm like, can I. Does this shirt match with these jeans?

[Tommy Smokes]

He is good.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, all the time. I'm like, hey, dude, do I cuff these jeans or do I not cuff these jeans? He's like, cuff those jeans.

[Kevin Clancy]

Jeans always cuff.

[John Feidelberg]

He's like, always cuff the jeans.

[Kevin Clancy]

He's. He's the same way. You know, I'm always like, if fidelberg likes. Likes something like if. If he compliments you, he's ahead of the curve, baby.

[Dave Portnoy]

Have a little fashion group text. Not group text, but we'll go to text you the back and forth pictures.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, oh, you look fantastic.

[Tommy Smokes]

So good, dude. There's nothing more like vulnerable. Should just telling your buddy, God damn, you look fucking amazing.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes. I want to reiterate that you look. I. I just bought a jacket that looks so. Not much like that. That I was like, it's such a perfect jacket.

[Tommy Smokes]

Thanks, pal.

[Kevin Clancy]

Very, very nice.

[Dave Portnoy]

See that?

[John Feidelberg]

I dressed up for this bun. You look great.

[Tommy Smokes]

That kid wouldn't wear this.

[Dave Portnoy]

He at least put pants with buttons on today. He at least matches.

[John Feidelberg]

I need pants with buttons as an occasion, dude.

[Kevin Clancy]

It really is a slippery slope though, where it's like, you know, it was covered for me.

[John Feidelberg]

I never wore sweatpants out of the house.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

And then for a year I was like, what the. If I.

[Kevin Clancy]

Well then there was that like athleisure movement where it's like everyone was just wearing sweatpants to like the board meeting. It was like, you know, whatever, but. But it is just like, you know, I'm like, I'm going to my kids, like sports practice. I'm like, I don't have to dress up for that. But you are leaving the house and then next thing you know, you're like, I gotta go to like school with the kid. I don't have to dress up for that. Yeah. I mean, and all of a sudden you're just a fucking schlub.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah. Hello. I walked in here today. Yeah? Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, I. I think you'll appreciate this. I went on, I told the story. I won't retell the whole thing because we just talked about it, but I want to. I chaperoned a kiera.

[John Feidelberg]

It's not Quiera, dude. It's quinceanera quesadilla. Did I get that right? Do you know, like, if I say it fast enough, nobody will know if I said it right or wrong?

[Tommy Smokes]

I had to get my. My license done in Mex. In Mexico.

[John Feidelberg]

You're close. You're not that far.

[Tommy Smokes]

You're the first people I've spoken to today. I had to get my driver's license in Texas because mine lapsed for like a decade and I was basically a chaperone at a quintier. It was me and like a million Mexicans.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

15 year old Mexican girls just holding their license, filling out my information.

[John Feidelberg]

Oh, that's right. You didn't have to drive here.

[Tommy Smokes]

No.

[Kevin Clancy]

Did you even have A like, did you ever drive?

[Tommy Smokes]

I had one. Yeah. In Philly, right?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Since 2009.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Decade plus.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

So you blocking out like don't stop cheating, dude?

[Tommy Smokes]

No, there was a cheat code. I figured it out.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

How'd the chaperone go?

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, it was so. I didn't really know what it was. I just signed up. I wanted to do some with my daughter.

[John Feidelberg]

And how old is she again?

[Kevin Clancy]

She's not. Turned eight. Turning nine.

[John Feidelberg]

That's a. That's early dance, right?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. And it was a super duper slavery museum. Like we were learning the history of slaves. And the way they were talking about it was insane. Like they, they started out talking about spices and what was it like, what the colonies traded and. And I was like, I don't know if we're going to talk about like how they traded them and what they did. And you know, and all of a sudden they were like. And then they went to Africa and kidnapped people and made them work for free.

[Tommy Smokes]

Wait, wait, wait. This is a dance?

[Kevin Clancy]

No, no, no.

[John Feidelberg]

That's what he said. You said chaperone. I thought you said chaperone to dance.

[Kevin Clancy]

Field trip. I thought, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

That's a weird dance.

[Tommy Smokes]

So it's a slavery themed dance.

[John Feidelberg]

What did your daughter wear?

[Tommy Smokes]

Just in dresses.

[Dave Portnoy]

Punch. Who wants punch? I'm good, man, thanks.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah. Dad, are we doing the Cotton Joe with this D? That's a weird thing.

[Kevin Clancy]

It was so unbelievable though. They're asking like the kids are asking me questions and I'm just like, oh my.

[John Feidelberg]

Dad, did you ever have slaves growing up? A little before my time.

[Dave Portnoy]

We weren't good with them either though.

[John Feidelberg]

Wow, that's weird. It's early to take some a kid to that. You want. Want kids to understand or. But you can't understand, right?

[Tommy Smokes]

They just control their bowels. Give them two, three years after.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, you would be great chaperone man.

[John Feidelberg]

I would.

[Tommy Smokes]

I'd totally be great.

[Kevin Clancy]

You'd be like, I really would.

[John Feidelberg]

This never happened. Don't believe. Yeah, this a lie. Don't.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's not real. Just the Jews complaining.

[Dave Portnoy]

They did the same thing to Italian. Yeah, you would definitely be that guy.

[John Feidelberg]

Let me tell we all right.

[Dave Portnoy]

We all been slaves before.

[Kevin Clancy]

My people were marginalized also.

[Tommy Smokes]

You know, you black tape, they changed my grandfather's last name. Deadline. Deadline.

[Dave Portnoy]

Kenzo.

[Tommy Smokes]

I'd give the bus driver 100 bucks. I'd say, take a left here. We're going to a park. And I just ground balls.

[John Feidelberg]

Just ground balls and rocket them at them. Right. You thought this was a field trip swing.

[Dave Portnoy]

We're on a field.

[John Feidelberg]

I didn't bring my glove. Who cares?

[Kevin Clancy]

My. My son just won the Little League championship.

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, let's go.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. Dude, like, once. Real. Real baseball.

[John Feidelberg]

He played real baseball.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. I'm saying. I mean, they're old enough to play real. They're still little kids, but they're, like, playing.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like.

[Kevin Clancy]

I was watching the championship game. They were, like, making plays. That's like, getting out of the inning. And, like, it was. I was like, this is real.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's like when you see a baby start to walk a little bit. You know, I mean, for kids in sports, you're like, oh, they're actually doing the fundamentals, but it's. It's working.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's not just kids hitting off a.

[John Feidelberg]

Table, and everybody runs for the ball, and then one person runs the person down.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Or they throw the ball at him to get him out.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

I was like, no, no, no, no. Okay, that works too, I guess.

[Kevin Clancy]

Dude, we had. We threw. There was a relay from the outfield and got a guy at the plate, and the catcher threw someone out, stealing.

[Tommy Smokes]

Wow.

[Kevin Clancy]

They're seven and eight years old.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Clancy]

I was like, this is great. I don't know about, like. You know, I feel like when I was playing Little League, it was nothing like that. When you.

[John Feidelberg]

There was, like, two or three good kids on a team. It wasn't like everybody knew how to play.

[Kevin Clancy]

There was three kids yesterday. You know their name? You remember them, who they were?

[John Feidelberg]

One of them had a mustache.

[Kevin Clancy]

Always.

[John Feidelberg]

There was always, like, this guy right here.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was him.

[John Feidelberg]

He stopped growing when he was 11.

[Kevin Clancy]

How long.

[Tommy Smokes]

Dirt stash.

[Kevin Clancy]

How far did you play baseball? Did you play baseball in college or anything?

[Tommy Smokes]

No, I went to college for. And I wanted to play baseball there. I got a little scholarship, but then my dad talked me out of it.

[John Feidelberg]

Why?

[Tommy Smokes]

He wanted me to be an engineer.

[Kevin Clancy]

Stupid of him.

[Dave Portnoy]

So he killed my dream. Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

I actually went to school for art.

[Kevin Clancy]

Okay.

[Tommy Smokes]

And I got accepted all the art schools in Philadelphia.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, literally painting.

[John Feidelberg]

Painting. There was no way your dad was.

[Tommy Smokes]

Being like, no.

[John Feidelberg]

No. Fucking.

[Tommy Smokes]

Well, also, there was no graphic arts at that time.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

So he couldn't. He couldn't see me parlaying my creative abilities into a job.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[Tommy Smokes]

Because back then.

[Kevin Clancy]

Were you gonna make paintings on a piece of paper?

[Tommy Smokes]

So there was no.

[John Feidelberg]

Like, how long did you last as an engineer?

[Tommy Smokes]

Three years.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, you did it, though. Yeah. Interesting.

[Tommy Smokes]

On the third year, I transferred to it because I hate It. I did two cooperative education.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's.

[Tommy Smokes]

You go to school for six months, and you go to work for six months. Yeah, that's what gets.

[Kevin Clancy]

We're talking engineering. Like. Like building. Like civil engineering. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Architectural.

[Kevin Clancy]

Wow.

[John Feidelberg]

Not like choo choo. That would have been amazing. You're like, I had my hat.

[Tommy Smokes]

No, the first. The first two years is like. It's like pre med. It's hard as crazy.

[Kevin Clancy]

But you did it.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Huh. Smarter than you look.

[Tommy Smokes]

Wasted $400,000 of his or yours? Mine.

[John Feidelberg]

Congratulations.

[Kevin Clancy]

God, dude, start.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's such a funny thing to, like, start life. Like, I'll start 400 grand in the hole.

[Kevin Clancy]

Crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Just me and a thousand Indians.

[Kevin Clancy]

I was gonna say crazy. There needs to be somebody. Your father really that one up. Because if. If my kid ever came to me saying, I'm gonna do engineering, coding, whatever, I'd be like, you're not beating out the Indians and the Asians. So we're not doing this.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, it's just not. It's like the same thing as saying, like, I want to be a pro athlete. It's like, you're not doing it, but you need.

[John Feidelberg]

You need. Like. My dad was very. I remember, very honest with us, and I appreciated this. I know people were like, that's bad parenting. To me. It was good. My brother was a great artist. I remember one day we were draw drawing. My Dr. My brother could draw, like, superheroes. Just free form. Awesome. And he was like, you should draw with me. I was like, cool. So we go in. My. My brother shows my dad, and he's like, jonathan, that is great. You probably should think of the doing this as a career. And I showed my dad, and he was like, not your thing. You can stop drawing right now. And I was like, okay, that's good advice.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

I'm not wasting any more time. Good parenting. Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Well, good parenting is just like, I don't know, man. Show your kids the outside of your city limits.

[Kevin Clancy]

Do you know what I mean?

[Tommy Smokes]

Like, I didn't go to. I did like three applications. My dad didn't give a shit. I was 10th in my high school, and nobody gave a. I talked to my guidance counselor for like, seven minutes.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

He's like, what do you want to do? I was like, I don't know. Isn't this your job? So he gave me a scholarship to Drexel. He's like, I give one scholarship out. If you can get into Drexel engineering, I'll give you it. And then athletic scholarship for baseball And I want. Talked to the coach and I wanted to play.

[Kevin Clancy]

Same at Drexel.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

And then I started school and I was like, there's no way I'm doing anything.

[Dave Portnoy]

Anything.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, it's like 20 credits, 19 credits, 18 credits. Your first year, you get one summer off and that's it. Then four years of straight school and work. Really five year program. And it's like, it's expensive because if you can make the program work, you get. You're well above the rest of the. Anyone else getting a job.

[Kevin Clancy]

But you're getting the worst as an.

[John Feidelberg]

Engineer out of college. You're getting a job.

[Tommy Smokes]

I got a job sophomore year. I was working at Donald Nakarado in Philadelphia.

[John Feidelberg]

I don't know. Did he make my lunch today?

[Tommy Smokes]

It's just two uncles.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, you said it like we were all like, oh my God.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Is he the. Was he in Die Hard?

[Dave Portnoy]

Was that the building? The Nakarado building?

[Kevin Clancy]

Wait, so you, you did see it through. You did the school, you got a.

[Tommy Smokes]

Job and then it was in engineering. Then I did it. I worked it consultant for Verizon and Deloitte.

[John Feidelberg]

And then.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's right. I remember that.

[Tommy Smokes]

I hated that again. And I was like, I need to do something different. I always thought I wanted to be. It's weird, but I always thought I wanted to be like in entertainment. And I didn't know how. And then I took a job that was more sales oriented. I was a director of marketing and advertising agency and I, I'd hit my quota and just off. I was just too lazy. And my, my boss at the time was like, God, I wish you had a kid, man. If you had a baby, you'd be so good at this job.

[John Feidelberg]

Be terrible as a parent though. But that kid would be. But you'd be doing some good work for us. How long did you been doing standup when we were touring together?

[Tommy Smokes]

I started in 09. I started at 29 years old. 30 years old.

[John Feidelberg]

So you just. A couple years when we were.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, I was like two years in.

[John Feidelberg]

Oh, no.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

My brother sent me up for playing.

[Kevin Clancy]

Engineer for the first decade. You know, wasting time.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

I didn't even know you could go to like comedy clubs like I thought I grew up with my dad. I didn't watch comedy still. I still. But I like, I don't like, I didn't. All I knew was like Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, George Carlin from my dad watching it on like HBO or vhs.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right, right, right.

[Tommy Smokes]

And I thought they were just so funny that Some fucking packages was like, get up there and do it for an hour.

[John Feidelberg]

Pack of Jews. Like a murderer crows. There's a package. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then voicemail.

[Tommy Smokes]

You go to like, a comedy club and you, like, work at it. It's like a school, you know?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

And so my brother signed me up when Helium opened up in like, 06 or 07 in Philly. He told me.

[Kevin Clancy]

Was he like, you need to like, you're funny.

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, yeah. All my brothers.

[Kevin Clancy]

You wouldn't have done it on your own.

[Tommy Smokes]

No, no way.

[John Feidelberg]

When he was.

[Dave Portnoy]

When.

[John Feidelberg]

When he was opening for me, though, dude, he. And only been doing it for a couple years, but he would tell these riding ridiculous stories, like, about the threesome.

[Kevin Clancy]

With the boss is crazy.

[John Feidelberg]

What's that?

[Kevin Clancy]

The threesome with the boss.

[John Feidelberg]

The. But the. His ridiculous stories. Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Did I say that?

[John Feidelberg]

Did you? Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think we got it.

[Kevin Clancy]

I think we got it. Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Threesome with your boss.

[Tommy Smokes]

What?

[Dave Portnoy]

That is one of the greatest stories.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's a great story.

[Dave Portnoy]

Not for him.

[Tommy Smokes]

Do you know how hard it is to take a stripper home? Yeah, you gotta be talented. The gift of gab, they said.

[John Feidelberg]

I dated a stripper in college who used to like to have me come to the strip club. And she would. I don't know why she liked to do this. She would have me sit at the bar, and when she gave a dance to somebody, she would take their money, walk over and put it in my pocket.

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, my.

[Dave Portnoy]

Hell yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And I. I was always like, yeah, I'm about to get the shit.

[Kevin Clancy]

No, but they were probably like, like, who is.

[John Feidelberg]

She was like, I love doing this. This turns me on. I'm like, give me the money then.

[Kevin Clancy]

You're turning me on right here. Just talking about it, let alone if it was happening.

[Tommy Smokes]

She should have sat you in there like a pawn while other could see you. And then she, you know, she lets you, like, suck her boobs and stuff and there's just gonna be a line.

[John Feidelberg]

Not me. Not there. But eventually.

[Tommy Smokes]

I hope so, Josh.

[John Feidelberg]

She let me touch her title. Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like we were saying, bro, it's the contract. You're allowed to do that. Second base, dude.

[John Feidelberg]

That was. She was for. That was the time that I realized, oh, I'm not equipped for a threesome. Because she was like, you ready for a threesome? I was like, I think so. Right? And it was her and another girl. And I was like, you. You two should get real close to finishing and then I'll join it, because.

[Dave Portnoy]

Push me.

[John Feidelberg]

Don't count on a lot of input. From me on this one.

[Kevin Clancy]

I'm, I'm a, a viewer on this one.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

I don't have to do another hour after this, right?

[Kevin Clancy]

This is it.

[John Feidelberg]

No.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, this is it.

[Tommy Smokes]

I got, I gotta play pool. Francis Ellis wants to play pool and get drunk.

[Kevin Clancy]

Where you going?

[John Feidelberg]

I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

You want to go, oh, Francis. Francis belongs to a pool club, a billiards club. What's that?

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah. Is he one of those dudes.

[Kevin Clancy]

I could see him having his own bowling ball, his own pool cue, all that.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't, I don't remember. I've only been once and I was drunk, but, like, I don't think he brought his own pool. I don't know if it's one of those things like a wine club where they keep your queue in the back.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know where he got his.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know when it's on your, like, shoulder? That's fucking.

[Tommy Smokes]

I'm not playing with you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, you're annoying as fuck.

[Kevin Clancy]

Being.

[Tommy Smokes]

Being.

[Kevin Clancy]

No.

[John Feidelberg]

Yes. If you come in with your own pool cue.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

You're not gonna be fun to play with.

[Kevin Clancy]

No.

[Dave Portnoy]

But you said he's not very good. He's, he's, he's better. He's good, bro.

[Kevin Clancy]

Being good at pool, I think, is one of, like, the. You gotta be awesome things.

[Tommy Smokes]

Such a trash bag.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

No, but I, I, well, no family, maybe, but I, I think it's awesome, like, if you can just step up and run a pool table. I think it's one of the, like, I, I think it's, like, it's, it's one of the most. Like, if you can walk into a bar, like a trash bar, and people are like, they think they're good, they're talking, money's on the line, and you just run the table. I think that's great.

[John Feidelberg]

Darts, too.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, that kind of.

[Tommy Smokes]

I would love the darts, dude.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think. I completely disagree. I think if some guys, like, I'm awesome at pool, I'm like, yeah, I love.

[Kevin Clancy]

I understand that side of it too.

[Dave Portnoy]

But anything else, like a buddy's like, dude, I'm a great pool player.

[Kevin Clancy]

I mean, more like if you just. If you're there at the bar and if you're the quiet one, and, and, and someone's talking, you're like, I'll play. And then you just literally.

[Tommy Smokes]

You like the white trash hero story?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yes, I like that. Yeah. I, I, I like a good. Yeah, White trash hero is.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's not where I want w. Coming down and smoking. Everybody, he wants a pill.

[Kevin Clancy]

Have you seen.

[Tommy Smokes]

He's never had sex.

[Kevin Clancy]

Have you seen like professional darts?

[John Feidelberg]

I love watching like overseas.

[Kevin Clancy]

They pac those stages when they hit like the triple. Triple 20 or whatever it is for the win in place erupts like it's a walk off home run.

[John Feidelberg]

Farrell hasn't done a dart movie. I have no idea.

[Kevin Clancy]

There's a crew of guys here. They go every year when it's. It's at the Garden, right? The Garden.

[Dave Portnoy]

Hulu Theater. Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

And it's crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

And they sing songs and it's like the people who. I will say this, the, the highlights we see are awesome. The people who go say you pretty quickly are like, all right, this is. We're just.

[John Feidelberg]

How about everybody throws once.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah. It's like, I think it's like an eight hour a day and we watch a 30 second clip. Like, this is amazing. It's like cricket. Like, you see a good cricket catch, you're like, this is the greatest sport ever.

[Tommy Smokes]

You ever got a wing bowl. You know what wing bowl is?

[Dave Portnoy]

I know in Philly. Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

I've never been, but it's the same idea. You just get blacked out, the sun comes up, you go into a stadium, you watch these fat retards get nuts.

[John Feidelberg]

I love that. What are they doing? You didn't even tell me what they were doing.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's like a wing eating competition.

[John Feidelberg]

That'S.

[Dave Portnoy]

About as big as it gets, you know, Start to get nuts.

[John Feidelberg]

Dude, in Austin, have you been to that place where they, where they. That chicken bingo? No. Where you sit around and you get faced and you watch chickens on a giant board and you play bingo?

[Kevin Clancy]

No, that's cool way.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, it's chicken bingo. It's. It's a good.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[John Feidelberg]

I, I, I haven't been like, you know, I've been sober for about two months.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, that's why I don't call you anymore.

[John Feidelberg]

This is the craziest.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're sober, like off weed and everything.

[John Feidelberg]

I haven't been, it's been 30 years since I've been off. We had to put my son in sober living, right. So I was like, you know I'm gonna do this with him. That's right. Because I, because he goes on the road with me. So it'd be weird for me to be in the green room smoking weed and be like, hey, yeah, yeah. So. But yo, being sober is, you like it, it's not what it's cracked up to be.

[Dave Portnoy]

That was a test.

[John Feidelberg]

I miss mushrooms more than I miss weed.

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, you're not even doing mushrooms.

[Kevin Clancy]

No, you're not doing anything.

[John Feidelberg]

I was doing three grams of mushrooms every Friday night for my comedy.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, you, I mean, you were a big weed guy too, right?

[John Feidelberg]

Edibles for three to 30 years a day at least. Yeah, yeah, I cut everything out, man. And it, it's, it's, you know, it's boring as son.

[Kevin Clancy]

Jacob.

[John Feidelberg]

Jacob.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

Dude.

[Tommy Smokes]

If you take one day off from drinking, you realize how many hours are in the day.

[John Feidelberg]

But I've never dress frighten.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's only 2pm Am I, what am I gonna do till six, six comes around, you're like, I can't do this.

[John Feidelberg]

How many, how many sandwiches can I eat on stage?

[Tommy Smokes]

It's like, this is stupid. Life is hard, man.

[Kevin Clancy]

Are you, you're sober right now or. No, no, no.

[Dave Portnoy]

Look at him.

[Tommy Smokes]

No, but I am, I am weaning.

[Dave Portnoy]

I have two nights.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's your birthday.

[John Feidelberg]

Your whole life has been.

[Dave Portnoy]

Whiskey distillery. Five seconds ago.

[John Feidelberg]

He just talked about getting drunk at noon.

[Dave Portnoy]

What are you talking about asking?

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

I'm fun, though.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, you are.

[John Feidelberg]

That is true.

[Kevin Clancy]

It is tough when they start dropping like flies like everybody's. Yeah. I mean, I. I'm not like, so I just don't really like to drink anymore, but, like, it's not like I went sober, but, you know, everybody back.

[John Feidelberg]

To it, by the way.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

I'm not quitting for good. And I'm just like, getting his footing.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

I'm like, I don't want to be out here. It's been almost two months for me.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Okay.

[John Feidelberg]

That's a long.

[Kevin Clancy]

But it's still. I thought you were gonna say, like, you had been doing it for a couple years or something like that.

[John Feidelberg]

It feels like it.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And by the way, I'm not gonna last a couple years.

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[John Feidelberg]

Did you.

[Kevin Clancy]

Did you like, say like. I feel like if it was me, I don't know. Father son's a little bit different, but like, if someone was like, I'm gonna do this in solidarity with you, I'd be like, you don't have to do that.

[John Feidelberg]

He told me.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

He was like, you don't. This is not your responsibility.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

And I was like, yeah, but.

[Kevin Clancy]

But I, you know, I'm your dad, dude.

[John Feidelberg]

You're. And. And you're my guy and I wanna. If you're gonna do it and come on the road. Road with me.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Seems weird to be around someone else.

[John Feidelberg]

It seems weird and more also that it's such. It was such a big part of my business. Like, I don't want to sit around and glorify what he's trying to. The demon he's trying to be. It feels like a real dick move. Feels like something Tommy's dad would do.

[Dave Portnoy]

Did you. Yeah. Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

But yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Did you see John Stamos, what he did in solidarity?

[John Feidelberg]

Shave your head.

[Kevin Clancy]

The only guy, though, in the world. What do you do?

[Tommy Smokes]

Stop sucking dick.

[Kevin Clancy]

He, you know. You know when people shave their head for cancer and then the barber, like, shaves their head and everyone cries? He put on a bald cap and Photoshopped it and then posted it on Instagram and said, putting on this bald cap in solidarity with Dave Cool Fighting Cancer concert, which is like the single most out of touch thing I've ever seen a celebrity do. Like to do it first of all, and then brag about it and he.

[Tommy Smokes]

Says, if you're doing something.

[Kevin Clancy]

He said, laughing at, no, no, no, My Photoshop skills.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know. That second sentence makes me think he's joking.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, I think he recognized, but, like, I don't. I think the. I think that's a joke, but, like, doing it. I think he was not.

[John Feidelberg]

How good a friend. And you can't shave your head one time. You don't think he's getting bald?

[Kevin Clancy]

Stamos is. Yeah, you're right.

[Tommy Smokes]

He is.

[Kevin Clancy]

But that's like one.

[Tommy Smokes]

He could look like an orc.

[Kevin Clancy]

At this point, it's not even about getting. It's about being like, I have the greatest head of hair that has ever.

[John Feidelberg]

And it's gonna grow back, and I'll.

[Tommy Smokes]

Prove to you that it's real.

[Dave Portnoy]

Maybe.

[John Feidelberg]

Maybe it ain't real.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's a good call. That hair is nuts at every level. When he had the Mullet in the 80s, when he had like the. The 90s kind of like part in the middle. And now it's just every level.

[John Feidelberg]

If I. If you were just coming as a. And you never knew either one of them, but you could be like, which one's the comedian? You'd be like, I can pick that one. I can pick that one out.

[Kevin Clancy]

Did you see Brandon Walker? Guy works here, went viral recently for the. You know, he's not Uncle Joe. Joey. He's not an uncle. He's never been called Uncle Joey on that show once.

[John Feidelberg]

Really?

[Kevin Clancy]

He's just. He's Uncle.

[John Feidelberg]

Uncle Joey's Joey Diaz Uncle.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

The. The. He's just a friend. He's just Danny Tanner's friend in that show.

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, so they're gay.

[Kevin Clancy]

Probably. Why is that coming around so much? So he's not an uncle.

[Dave Portnoy]

Why is he there?

[John Feidelberg]

He's just got a grown man friend living with his kids.

[Kevin Clancy]

I don't think they. I don't even know if they live. I think he's just there a lot. That was. The whole thing is that everyone thinks it was Uncle Joey and Uncle Jesse. Jesse. Wait, Joey.

[John Feidelberg]

Neither one of them lived at the house. I think one.

[Kevin Clancy]

No, no. Jesse lived in the attic with. With Becky Kitsopoulos. That's a little weird, too.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's crazy that you're rattling off this stuff and their names too. It's crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

Becky Kitsopolis was a pole.

[Kevin Clancy]

Jesse Kopoulos. Come on.

[Tommy Smokes]

I didn't watch this show.

[John Feidelberg]

I didn't either.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, you guys are too cool.

[Tommy Smokes]

I know.

[Kevin Clancy]

You're too old. Yeah, I. I was. You're too old too, probably.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, we had the dog walk, like, draft the other day of like, childhood shows. And, like, I know of all of them, but I. I don't think I really did.

[Kevin Clancy]

You had a terrible upbringing.

[Tommy Smokes]

Like, that's why I love you, baby.

[John Feidelberg]

What shows?

[Tommy Smokes]

Cheers.

[John Feidelberg]

Yep.

[Tommy Smokes]

Wonder Years.

[John Feidelberg]

Yep.

[Tommy Smokes]

I was watching 227. I was watching all in the Family.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, you're old.

[Tommy Smokes]

Watch that. Oh, dude, you so funny.

[John Feidelberg]

You couldn't. There's Wonder Years is the.

[Tommy Smokes]

One of the greatest shows of all time, dude. It's just the sense of humor, the reality of life.

[Kevin Clancy]

Dad was just like a.

[Tommy Smokes]

Everything was unapolog. Dark, dramatic.

[Kevin Clancy]

I didn't even realize until I was, like, older that it was a show from the 80s, because they did. What time period was that supposed to be?

[Tommy Smokes]

It's supposed to be post Vietnam.

[Kevin Clancy]

The father was coming over.

[Dave Portnoy]

Vietnam.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. Yeah. It was beating his kids. Right. It was like. I remember being very afraid of the dad and that being like.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, no, he had a temper.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, that was real.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

You just look at all the way through, like, I'd say 70s and 80s, there's nothing better than movies, television. Everything was just so iconic.

[Kevin Clancy]

The 80s and 90s and then into.

[Tommy Smokes]

The 90s, like mid-90s. That's when you fruits came around. They started playing this type of. And we lost touch of reality.

[John Feidelberg]

I went back and watched old episodes of Taxi.

[Tommy Smokes]

Taxi rolled. Watch Taxi.

[Kevin Clancy]

You guys are a thousand. Everyone's turning off the podcast.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't even know if Taxi was in color, dude.

[John Feidelberg]

Actually Charlie Chaplin show was actually six feet tall in that show.

[Kevin Clancy]

Dude. What a legend he is. I mean, he's been doing it for, like, crazy eight decades now.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, he still has my favorite answer ever given on the show where he. He came on. He's promoting something with his daughter. And did he stand up for this.

[John Feidelberg]

Mic or did he sit down? No, he.

[Dave Portnoy]

Honestly. So it was in the other studio. He had trouble, and it was like, we had to boost them up because.

[Kevin Clancy]

We had, like, high chairs.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know, we had to. We had to, like, physically put them in the chair.

[Dave Portnoy]

But I had asked them. I had asked him, like, about, do you video that?

[John Feidelberg]

Because I would just like to watch that.

[Kevin Clancy]

Serious.

[Dave Portnoy]

That was a serious.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, it's serious. We had to, like, physically put him in the chair.

[Dave Portnoy]

But the.

[John Feidelberg]

I asked him, like, did you get on one knee? Come here, little buddy. Come on over here.

[Kevin Clancy]

I just got done.

[Dave Portnoy]

I got down on hands and knees.

[Kevin Clancy]

I got down on all fours, and he just stepped on my back.

[Dave Portnoy]

But the. The. I. I asked him, like, about the different iterations of. And generations of Hollywood. He's been through like, what was his favorite? Like the 60s, the 70s. And he's like explaining all of them. And he's like, the 60s were great because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The 70s were great because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The 80s, that was snowblown the whole time. He lost a decade.

[Kevin Clancy]

He was like, I don't remember a decade.

[John Feidelberg]

That's amazing.

[Dave Portnoy]

His daughter's like, dad. He's like, I don't know what to tell you.

[John Feidelberg]

He still feels like a dude to me. Who gets up on the regular. He's taking mushrooms for sure.

[Dave Portnoy]

Have you ever heard the story from Charlie? Kel or Charlie Day told the story and it was a story that Danny had told him. And it was. They went to a party. It must have been the 80s. And it was him and Schwarzenegger. So. So Junior.

[John Feidelberg]

We're probably on the twins. Twins.

[Dave Portnoy]

Twins. Twins.

[Kevin Clancy]

Junior had.

[Dave Portnoy]

Had come out. So I think that was 90s. But the said him and Schwarzenegger walked to a party. And the party favors at this party were your name spelled out in cocaine.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And Schwarzenegger, Schwarzenegger, he had so jacked up, his head goes, look at mine, Danny.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's tough. You walk in with like a, you know, Charlie Day and it's like, well.

[John Feidelberg]

Let me get the hard R. Yeah, bro.

[Kevin Clancy]

The 80s were. I was, you know, because of the Jake Paul, Mike Tyson fight, a lot of. I. I didn't realize that young people don't understand Iron Mike. Like, yeah, these guys producing the show were like, oh, we know of him. But like they don't know like the story stories. And then I started reading up on them. There's that. I didn't even know. That was like when he, when he fought Buster Douglas, he had a full blown case of gonorrhea. He was like, he was like, I was in Japan. He was like, I was. He said he anything. He was like, my. My criteria was breathing. And he was like, I was just every Japanese girl I could find and I didn't train at all. And I had gonorrhea and he beat my ass.

[John Feidelberg]

You listen to Lawrence Taylor talk about.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, the.

[John Feidelberg]

He was doing well.

[Kevin Clancy]

They were together too, though. It was like, you know, you. You see these pictures sometimes was like Keith Hernandez, Lawrence Taylor and Mike Tyson at the same party. It's like, that's a lot of coke. Imagine, you know, they're like trying to.

[Dave Portnoy]

One up each other.

[John Feidelberg]

So it's like Daryl Strawberry in there.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right? Right. Doc, good.

[Tommy Smokes]

Like, yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

You were in New York in the 80s, it was a snow blowing the whole time. Imagine that crew. And then like, Danny DeVito waddles in. He's like, hey, guys.

[John Feidelberg]

Like one of those two headed conjoined twins.

[Kevin Clancy]

When, when Tyson was in prison, he. And impregnated his, like, prison counselor. Like, he was, I thought he was.

[John Feidelberg]

Gonna say his cellmate. I'm like, what is that?

[Kevin Clancy]

But I think, I think he was like, I had, I had, what's it called, conjugal visits, like, all the time. I was like, my, my, the prison guards, the counselors, I got her pregnant. Like, just crazy.

[Tommy Smokes]

That really, that's why he's taking these fake fights. He's got to pay off all these probably.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah. Crazy, man.

[Tommy Smokes]

Did you see the footage of, like, some of the shots where he's just like, about to hit?

[Kevin Clancy]

That made me a little. I, I, I'm not full blown. Like, he threw the fight because I do think he just lost gas. Like, he didn't have legs.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Clancy]

But in the beginning, dude, he had, like, he had one couple and I didn't want real. And they were like, yeah, that's it.

[Tommy Smokes]

And he never attempted it again.

[Kevin Clancy]

I do, yeah. There is a little something I can.

[Tommy Smokes]

Understand running out of gas the last two rounds. He didn't show anything after that one time, the entire fight.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

What are we doing?

[Tommy Smokes]

What are we doing there?

[Kevin Clancy]

There was a video running around that was like, he, he hit him with like a combo and then they, then they lock.

[Tommy Smokes]

And he's like, relax, dude.

[Kevin Clancy]

And he taps him on the back. I mean, there's no, the guy. The, the, the video was like, it's alleged that Jake Paul said in his ear here, calm down. Like, nobody has said that except that video. Yeah. And Mike Tyson packs, pats him on the back. So it looks like they have an agreement. I don't know about all that, but they're definitely in that first couple rounds, I was like, well, he, he definitely just did not punch him there when he absolutely could have. I think by the end of it, it was almost the opposite because he was so out of gas. I think Jake, I was gonna say.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know if I'd agree to a fight where I take a dive where the other guy gets to gloat afterwards about how he could have hurt me, but he didn't want to.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah, that's tough.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, even I'll take the dive, but.

[Kevin Clancy]

Then don't run up.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think he had the quote, like, I didn't want to hurt Someone who didn't need to be hurt or something like that. Like, if I'm like, you know you're not saying that about me. With my blessing.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right.

[John Feidelberg]

Here's the thing. And as the oldest dude here, and obviously not Mike Tyson, but I can tell you, 10 years ago when I boxed Jacob, who's obviously not Jake Paul, I could see punches coming.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And my brain was like, get out of the way. And my face was like, nah, let's eat this one. Your body just doesn't.

[Kevin Clancy]

Well, that's. 60 is like 6 is old, dude. I know it's Mike Tyson and all that, but it's like he's also been, you know, doing drugs. And it's not like He's a sharp 60 year old. Like, so there is that side of it. But it was strange. The like dodging punches is one thing. Not throwing punches that your body is programmed to do as a fighter. That was a little weird.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

I can understand getting hit.

[Kevin Clancy]

It was, I mean there was one where he literally like, like he went to.

[Tommy Smokes]

He went like this and he was wide open.

[Dave Portnoy]

Obviously this is an apples and oranges. I remember I tell a story like I recent. Fairly recently now, I was in a batting cage and I was like, I know every. Like my body know is my first taste of being like old. So I'm like, my brain knows what to do.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

I can do. I'm doing it all. And I was just following everything right back. Yes.

[Tommy Smokes]

But if you just keep going to the cage for a week and a half.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

It comes back. You see him training.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Training videos don't make sense to what we watch.

[John Feidelberg]

That's true.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's true.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Confetti would have came out of his. It was like locked in and he was like fading this way.

[John Feidelberg]

It was there.

[Kevin Clancy]

That was weird. That was, that was definitely suspect. But I also could see a scenario where it was like, don't end this in the first round.

[John Feidelberg]

I agree with that.

[Kevin Clancy]

Versus throwing the whole fight, you know what I mean? Like, like, oh wait, we got to put on a show. Like I'm going to bury him.

[John Feidelberg]

Let me ask you.

[Kevin Clancy]

And then a couple rounds later you're like, oh, wait, I am in the.

[John Feidelberg]

Conspiracy theory part of it. You have to approach him initially with the idea. And what if he's like, no.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

And then he comes out and goes, this dude just tried to ask me to throw the fight. Like, so that's why it's hard for me.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's got to be like signed, you use the $20 million back. If you.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yes.

[Kevin Clancy]

If you say something. Yeah, yeah, that's. That's the only way.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's 100. There was a signed document. You're throwing this foot fight. Don't go too hard on this and you'll get paid.

[Dave Portnoy]

But what Josh is saying is you gotta. You gotta approach the document.

[John Feidelberg]

This is what I'm saying.

[Dave Portnoy]

So what if he said no?

[John Feidelberg]

What if he was like you, I'm not throwing your fight. And then he.

[Kevin Clancy]

And then you blow up your whole.

[Tommy Smokes]

Probably sign an NDA before the meeting.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, before the meeting. He goes, I'm working for this meeting.

[Tommy Smokes]

What happened in this meeting?

[Dave Portnoy]

But how much money you giving Mike Tyson?

[John Feidelberg]

But he.

[Dave Portnoy]

I heard down and out.

[Kevin Clancy]

I heard a cannabis operation.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

That makes like a million dollars.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's got. He's got a successful podcast.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's the only problem.

[Kevin Clancy]

When I heard that, because I thought there was a chance that you know Mike Tyson.

[John Feidelberg]

How much did he know?

[Kevin Clancy]

Tigers and 20 million. Got $20 million.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, man. I mean, because I actually think is.

[Dave Portnoy]

Obviously not as much as I thought it was going to be.

[Kevin Clancy]

Not for. Not for what ensued and how people are talking about him now. Unless he was broke. If you're broken, you need money, Fine. But if you have money, money. And now there's all this talk about you either A, being old or B, throwing a fight. But as we know, you saw the interviews with him before. He's like, I don't give a about my leg.

[John Feidelberg]

And he also said, because I guess Holyfield reached out and was like, let's do a trilogy. And he was like, nah, no way.

[Tommy Smokes]

You think that's what he said?

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

That'S a 30 minute conversation.

[Dave Portnoy]

He got hung up on trilogy.

[Tommy Smokes]

An hour straight.

[John Feidelberg]

He's like, let me Google trilogy.

[Tommy Smokes]

I still can't. I can't stop thinking about, like, a little dainty Asian girl and a CO.

[Kevin Clancy]

Helping that door open.

[Tommy Smokes]

Dude, semi hard rope dick.

[Kevin Clancy]

There was a story.

[John Feidelberg]

Semi hard rope ticket.

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, my God. He's probably trying to get it up. She's like, sweating.

[John Feidelberg]

He's hitting it on the table.

[Tommy Smokes]

What a frightening man. His earrings dangling, the only light in the room. And she's crying already.

[Dave Portnoy]

Has even took the tip.

[Kevin Clancy]

He apparently when he broke up with Robin Givens, she went on a date with Brad Pitt.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

And he ran into them and was like, at the fucking restaurant table, like, I'm gonna kill you. And apparently Brad Pitt was like begging for his life, like, this is not worth it. He was like, we're just Running lines and we're just working on a show together. Like, please.

[Tommy Smokes]

He's like, I'm on lines.

[Kevin Clancy]

They're best friends.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's an unfortunate situation to find yourself in. But I don't think anyone can fault Brad.

[Kevin Clancy]

No, not at all.

[Dave Portnoy]

What do I especially say to get out of there?

[John Feidelberg]

Either way. 90s 80s Robin Givens is smoking hot.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

So he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then who's Robin Givens?

[Kevin Clancy]

It was just.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, I know, but like, it was.

[Tommy Smokes]

One of his punching bags for a while.

[John Feidelberg]

Like 80s 90s Robin Givens is hot.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. She was smoking. She was in.

[John Feidelberg]

She was in that full. Full. That Robin Givens. Look at her. Come on.

[Kevin Clancy]

Sucks here.

[John Feidelberg]

It does.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'll go. I'm just looking.

[John Feidelberg]

It doesn't really matter, but there she is.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, she's hot.

[Kevin Clancy]

I don't know what she was.

[Tommy Smokes]

She was like. Like she was like before Rihanna.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good call.

[John Feidelberg]

She was.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. Man, what a time to. To run though. I mean, you can't get away with like anything now.

[John Feidelberg]

It was a good time to be a celebrity, I'm sure.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah. It sucks being a celebrity now compared to that. It's like she really does look like Rihanna. It's a great call.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like that's what Rihanna's gonna look. That picture of the blue. That's what Rihanna's gonna look like when she gets older.

[Tommy Smokes]

Inshah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Inshah. Express is all about creating confidence through easy, modern, everyday outfits. Outfits for whatever life throws at you. Their holiday friendly. Nope, I'm sorry. Their holiday collection delivers on that promise and then some. It's all you need. It's. It's all you need. It's all you need. Why am I saying that so weird. It's all you need to help you look your look and feel your best for everything you've got going on this season. From friends giving to holiday parties to chill nights in quality clothes that look good and they feel even better. What kind of clothes am I talking about? Well, of course I'm talking about the perfect Pima cotton tea. They got teas and polos made from Pima cotton. It is super soft, lightweight everyday wear. They got hyperset stream jeans. Comfortable up for all day and look good to wear out. One MX shirts. Breathable, easy care, made with stretch. Best button downs around modern tech suits. You saw us do the episode in those. We looked hot as hell. They are wrinkle resistant and machine washable so you can wear them again and Again and again and again. And finally they have 100% Marino sweaters. I am a big fan of sweater season. I wear sweaters basically from November to March. They are super soft, breathable, temp regulating, moisture, wicking and machine washable. They are lux without the fuss. Find all you need this holiday season. Every single thing you need. I have searched this website because I have bought suits from it. So they have. They got everything find and you can find everything you need this holiday season. Use code Sad boy season SZN Sad boy season as the. And you can even say to the teller, they'll. If you're at. At the store, they'll ring you up fine too. At express. How's stuff island going?

[Tommy Smokes]

It's okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's okay.

[Tommy Smokes]

No, Chris is in Philly, so it's like I'm doing the cooking show on my own. It's a lot of work.

[John Feidelberg]

He's in Philly. He lives in Philly.

[Tommy Smokes]

He's living in Philly till we're done. Tires. I think I have one more episode with Schultz, but they wrap in like mid December and he's on set. I mean, he has to be there.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah. So you're just like.

[Tommy Smokes]

There was no preparation.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like, come on.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I was saying that.

[Tommy Smokes]

And who wants to see a zoom? Yeah, everybody's over that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

We do it in a way that you can't really tell because he's using a nice camera on location.

[John Feidelberg]

You just told everybody.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know, listen, if you're.

[Tommy Smokes]

If you're not watching our show because of that, like, you can't tell other than the backgrounds are different. It's not like, you know, like in zoo zoom time during quarantine, there was a delay. You had to wait on.

[Kevin Clancy]

There's none of that. We did a zoom with. I think it was Colin Quinn and he sat like here and the camera was at the wall over there. But it was almost like so great. It was like, this is awesome. That he's like, I'm a mile away. I couldn't hear him, couldn't see him. We did that with. With Efron and Jeremy Allen White too. We got. We landed them. We're like, oh, my God. These like a Listers. And they were so far away from the.

[Dave Portnoy]

Through the zoom. Come on, man.

[Kevin Clancy]

It wasn't even Covid. That was just like, we're too busy for you.

[Dave Portnoy]

And like, fuck you two blocks away.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, they were in New York.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, it's great, but it's just not the same because it's, you know, I miss It. In a way, because this kind of energy you can't duplicate in person. The timing, the.

[Dave Portnoy]

You know, I remember I texting you guys. And the stuff in the car did this. The trampolines video. I go back and watch the trampoline video. So tell a story. People don't believe.

[Tommy Smokes]

Believe that she's like that. Do you know this story?

[John Feidelberg]

No.

[Dave Portnoy]

O'Connor got. Did he get knocked out? Trevor Chase kicked him out.

[Tommy Smokes]

He kicked him off his trampoline.

[Dave Portnoy]

Kicked him off.

[Tommy Smokes]

Dude, I'll just. I don't know how to get to it.

[John Feidelberg]

What?

[Tommy Smokes]

He. I'll just show it to you.

[Kevin Clancy]

But isn't that's. That's from.

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, is this it?

[Kevin Clancy]

That's, like from a. Isn't that from a show or something like that?

[Dave Portnoy]

Wait, Pause this. Pause. You got to see. You got to see everyone's face. It's so. This is one.

[Tommy Smokes]

How did you do that so fast?

[Kevin Clancy]

He typed in Stuff island trampoline. You do.

[Tommy Smokes]

You have to wait for it to load the Internet.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're sucking. It's great.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's not only this building, but then within this room. And it's crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. I met him once.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, it's hilarious. You guys are a billion dollar company and can't get WI fi.

[Dave Portnoy]

It is.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's actually always been our mantra, is an Internet company with no Internet.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm serious. He's like, get off.

[Tommy Smokes]

What are you talking about?

[Kevin Clancy]

I went to Chevy Chase's house and I jumped on his train. Kicked off. This is a real story.

[Tommy Smokes]

This is not a real story.

[Kevin Clancy]

It is a real story.

[Tommy Smokes]

Stop saying it like it's normal.

[Dave Portnoy]

I went.

[Kevin Clancy]

Here's how you start that story.

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, my God. Did I ever tell you this story with excitement? You absolute psych.

[Kevin Clancy]

I'm not that excited, but I got kicked off at Chase's training.

[Tommy Smokes]

Why start.

[Dave Portnoy]

Why tell a story?

[Kevin Clancy]

There's a kid in my biology class who was dating Chevy Chase's daughter, and he invited me and a bunch of my friends over to his house, and then we went on a trampoline and Chevy Chase came out and he kicked me off the trampoline.

[Tommy Smokes]

What do you mean? He wanted to get on.

[Kevin Clancy]

He wanted to get on the trampoline.

[Tommy Smokes]

So he made an excuse, going, you're jumping too high. And then he jumped by himself.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's insane. Chevy Chase was like, you jumping too high.

[Dave Portnoy]

Get off.

[Tommy Smokes]

And then took his shoes off and jumped on the trampoline by himself.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Called the cops. The way it cuts.

[Kevin Clancy]

Brilliant.

[Dave Portnoy]

So good.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's A great.

[Dave Portnoy]

Here's how you start this. Tell a story. It's so funny.

[Kevin Clancy]

I'm not excited.

[Dave Portnoy]

The story itself is so good. But your anger at his del. Oh, God, he was so casual about.

[Tommy Smokes]

So casual.

[John Feidelberg]

And then he jumped on the trampoline Chevy.

[Tommy Smokes]

You should see him talk through, like a movie review. It's fucking gut wrenchingly horrendous. He'll just be like, I saw this movie. And you're like, all right, what's up? This is like on a podcast. You're gonna eat 10 minutes, bring some fucking energy and say what was good about it. You'll get to like 8 minute 8. And he's like, yeah, it sucks. We can't post that. You know what we do here? You know what makes us money?

[Dave Portnoy]

It's not reading the paper face.

[Kevin Clancy]

That's why podcast going great.

[Tommy Smokes]

I miss Chris.

[Kevin Clancy]

There's so many, like, celebrity podcasts and that kind of shit. And there's value in those because you get like, great stories and. But when that's like a real podcast, you need to have. You need to have that.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's like people ask, like, I want to start a podcast, or like, I got friends and friends of friends that like, how do I get going? And I think the key to a good podcast is having a partner that is so different than you. Whether it's the way you think, your sense of humor, you have to have some contrast.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[Tommy Smokes]

Some conflict. It's just like in writing comedy, like, conflict is story.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Without contract, there's no story.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

So if you don't have a natural conflicting co host, you just can't. You can't fucking ping pong and each other's opinions and go, yeah, you're right.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

There's nothing interesting. The relationship.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

I think a relationship is important.

[Kevin Clancy]

Being. Being able to be like, shut the up. You have to, you know, because that. And that's what you lack. I think when. When some of these, like, either you're paired with a celebrity or someone you don't know as well or whatever, and it's like, okay, you're gonna be able to tell, like behind the scenes stories and there is value in that.

[Tommy Smokes]

But, yeah, that's why I understand, like, lady podcast.

[Dave Portnoy]

Her lady podcast is Stuff Island.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, I know you do. Thank you. Remember the one time I made fun of a girl at barstool? You thought it was you.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah. Well, watch it.

[John Feidelberg]

What?

[Tommy Smokes]

It was it.

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean, what was it you said?

[John Feidelberg]

Oh, you said somebody's stories, and it was like my exact story.

[Dave Portnoy]

That I had posted.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, but it wasn't you. I think it's just a thing you guys do here together. Did I get out of that?

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, pretty good. Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

You know that. Real convincing, too.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but it wasn't you.

[John Feidelberg]

It was just somebody else.

[Kevin Clancy]

I'm not going to tell you who it was, but it was just somebody else.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, I'm not going to be specific at all.

[Dave Portnoy]

Jack, listen to, like, Lady Podcast. Jackie will come in talking about Stuff Island, Matt and Chains and. Are you garbage?

[Tommy Smokes]

Let's go.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, no, no, no. I do listen to Lady Podcast, but then every now and then, I. I, like, didn't realize I was just like. Because sometimes I just will listen when I get a chance to listen. Like when I've had all my lady podcasts. And then I didn't realize I was.

[John Feidelberg]

Like, the super fan, but now I.

[Dave Portnoy]

Realize I've watched, like, every single one for the past year, so I'm, like.

[Kevin Clancy]

Accidentally a giant super fan.

[John Feidelberg]

What are the lady podcasts? I'm gonna get you a shirt. What are the lady podcasts?

[Tommy Smokes]

Let's go.

[Dave Portnoy]

I like the toast.

[John Feidelberg]

No, never heard of it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Giggly Squad.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know, the Tana Burner and Paige of sort. Yeah, that's a big one. The girls love that one. Yeah, I feel like Paige de Sorbo is, like the.

[Dave Portnoy]

You listen to a lot of goddamn podcasts, huh?

[Tommy Smokes]

I know. I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Are you working on one? Stop listening to him.

[Tommy Smokes]

Listen to one hour of podcasts ever.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think Cereal Cereal Season 1 is the only thing I ever listened to.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah. And it was Francis Ellis, really. I got drunk, I missed him, and I, I. I wanted to see how this episode was doing. And it started and I watched the whole thing. It was the only time I ever watched it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Wait, is this Stuff island or France on a different.

[Tommy Smokes]

Any podcast?

[Kevin Clancy]

No, but what was Francis on?

[Tommy Smokes]

It's Tough Island.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

So you watch your own podcast?

[Tommy Smokes]

I watch my own podcast for one hour.

[Kevin Clancy]

And that's the only time you listen to podcast?

[Tommy Smokes]

It's the only time.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know what is funny, though? I didn't. I just. I didn't listen.

[Tommy Smokes]

Francis is gay. I'm gay for France.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. We're off to pool now.

[Kevin Clancy]

He's teaching him how to shoot.

[John Feidelberg]

Behind him.

[Kevin Clancy]

I didn't listen to podcasts for a long time. And then when I did, though, I think I got better at it because I was like. Like things that people would say about me, and I think, ah, it. That's just how I talk. But then I was Listening, it's like, oh, that you are interrupting too much. Or you are like talking over people, you are telling the stories too long or whatever. And it's like, oh, once you listen to it, it's kind of like I imagine, you know, going through your own comedy and, like, making sure, you know, you're getting better at it.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, I don't do that either.

[John Feidelberg]

He definitely doesn't do that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dude, I'll record.

[Kevin Clancy]

I'll record a set. But listening to other people and be like, oh, that. No, that bothers me. Or that is better, or whatever. I never listen to my own.

[Dave Portnoy]

What do you say? You record a set?

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, if I record a set, I'm like, that ruled. Like, that's the best I've done in a while.

[John Feidelberg]

Have you ever gone back and listen to it?

[Tommy Smokes]

No.

[John Feidelberg]

Nah.

[Tommy Smokes]

I wake up the next day, I'm like, delete. I can't imagine listening to my own voice.

[Dave Portnoy]

It just doesn't sound. I mean, it's not something new, but it doesn't sound how it's supposed to sound. Yeah, I hear myself. I'm like, that's not how I talk.

[Tommy Smokes]

And I should be doing. Because I'm working on this bit that's like 10 minutes, 11 minutes. And I'm doing it differently every time. In little, like a microcosm of the joke, a little area will be different. I'll record a bike. You got to keep that.

[John Feidelberg]

You do.

[Tommy Smokes]

And all you got to do is listen to it for fucking 10 minutes and you can document that that way and then you move on to something else. Got to keep that.

[John Feidelberg]

You.

[Tommy Smokes]

I have 10 recordings of this one joke. I can't listen to it.

[John Feidelberg]

Absolutely. Have to listen to your set. You. Absolutely.

[Tommy Smokes]

I start the conversation saying, you have to do that.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think that's the switch of, like, that's when. Because, like, that's exactly.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's like it's going from I'm having fun to I'm doing right.

[Kevin Clancy]

I am. Yeah. It is a job. I need to get better. I need to. I will make more money. I will be more successful. So man up and do it.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

You know, but I'm not. I know It's a hard doing.

[John Feidelberg]

80S.

[Dave Portnoy]

And cocaine, not a coward. I don't need to study for testing. I'll just rip it, baby.

[Kevin Clancy]

Well, it's nice to always have the little. The little like, safety blanket of like, I'm not even trying. You know what I mean? You can't fail until you start trying hard.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's not true.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

No.

[Tommy Smokes]

I wish, I wish it was like.

[John Feidelberg]

I. I kind of obsessively listen.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah.

[John Feidelberg]

When I'm. When I'm working on a. Like, especially a long story where so much depends sometimes on those tiny little parts.

[Tommy Smokes]

One minute, two minutes here.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah. Yep. Look at him. He's like, yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

My girl's like, we have dinner plans. I'm just listening to my own sets. Like, no, I gotta. Josh told me I have to do this. I gotta be better.

[Kevin Clancy]

So are you like going out in Austin? Are you like becoming an Austinite or whatever the they would call it.

[Tommy Smokes]

I'm doing more standup than I've ever done in my life.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

I took like.

[Kevin Clancy]

Are you like. I don't know. I just hear so much about the city and I'm like, I think all you guys are just doing comedy. I haven't heard anything.

[Tommy Smokes]

No, I go. We go out. There's like a bunch of nice restaurants. We like to go. It's like the perfect amount of energy. Like, my. My life is bad.

[Kevin Clancy]

He's fully drank the Austin.

[Tommy Smokes]

No, no, no.

[Kevin Clancy]

You were. You were the last bastard. You were the last like holding the line. And now you're one of these Austin.

[Tommy Smokes]

You didn't let me finish. This is like the old Kevin stepping on my words.

[John Feidelberg]

Go listen to some more podcasts, dude.

[Tommy Smokes]

I know I. My energy dip like balance of like doing shows down on 6th Street. Cuz it's like nuts down there. You're getting your sets in, but we live like 20 minutes out in the. In south where it's like quiet as hell. So I feel content. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Clancy]

I'm.

[Tommy Smokes]

I'm satiated with. With the energy levels there. She's like, not. She's a cat in a car at this point and she's like, I gotta get. We gotta move closer to the city.

[Kevin Clancy]

Right, Right.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's just it. It's definitely not this. I miss New York. I came here and I was like, this rules. I saw a fire live.

[Kevin Clancy]

Saw a fire live. Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Yesterday, one of the.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Sometimes burning fire. This is the best buildings on fire.

[John Feidelberg]

I was walking here today. My hat was up like this and this is how I know I was in the city. A homeless guy tried to p. Push it down for me. I was like, okay, dude, I like that. I was like, I don't need you. He was like, your hat's up. I'm like, cool.

[Dave Portnoy]

We owe. We owe Eric Adams an apology. Like, everyone made fun of his 911 comment. Tommy's like, new York's the Best you go in.

[Tommy Smokes]

I also have a 10 minute 911 picture.

[Dave Portnoy]

Hey, ask.

[Kevin Clancy]

Ask Chris Stepo. It could work, baby. 911 could get.

[Dave Portnoy]

Take you places.

[Tommy Smokes]

No, it works.

[Kevin Clancy]

There's a homeless guy who.

[Dave Portnoy]

He.

[Kevin Clancy]

He lays like directly in the middle of the. The sidewalk right around here.

[Tommy Smokes]

The camera just beat off.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, I never noticed how tiny your feet were though, dude. Look at those little buddies.

[Tommy Smokes]

Nine and a half.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, Bud. Just go up to 10.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that's a.

[Tommy Smokes]

Just walk uncomfortably to tell people 10.

[Kevin Clancy]

You're at nine and a half. Nobody's believing.

[John Feidelberg]

Nobody's believing. 10. Look at that little. That's Danny DeVito's foot right there.

[Dave Portnoy]

Are you kidding?

[Tommy Smokes]

That's an advertise foot. Are we on?

[Dave Portnoy]

Of course.

[Tommy Smokes]

You got the cameras running for this. It's a normal sized foot.

[Kevin Clancy]

It's not. It's not. You got have a 10.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, you.

[Kevin Clancy]

You're not wrong. It's like saying like five seven's average. Like. Yeah, but you're short. You know what I mean?

[Tommy Smokes]

I'm five. Ten and a half.

[John Feidelberg]

You are not five hundred ten and a half.

[Tommy Smokes]

Stand up, stand up.

[John Feidelberg]

You're wearing your boots with heels.

[Tommy Smokes]

I'll take them off.

[John Feidelberg]

Okay.

[Tommy Smokes]

I'm taller than you.

[Kevin Clancy]

You are not taller, voice. You both got shoes on. So it's not exactly go back to back.

[Dave Portnoy]

Tommy's bigger.

[Kevin Clancy]

You guys were about as even as I've ever seen it. Back to back.

[John Feidelberg]

All right, there you go.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Clancy]

And you got nothing with those. Isn't it insane that people used to play basketball? Like professional athletes would play basketball and Jordan ones, like, they are. It's. It's like you're running on like paper on the bottom. But they're crazy.

[John Feidelberg]

They're playing in low tops now.

[Kevin Clancy]

Yeah, that's crazy. Kobe started that. It's like, these are soccer shoes. You guys are gonna twist your ankles.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah.

[Tommy Smokes]

Now we say bye.

[Kevin Clancy]

Oh, we did all that for that, by the way. How.

[Dave Portnoy]

How.

[Kevin Clancy]

Just how brutal was it, losing to the Mets?

[Tommy Smokes]

Oh, I mean, you. Man, what a waste of a season. Seriously, dude, they came out so hot. I was like, this isn't good.

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean, they were really.

[Tommy Smokes]

You don't want to be. You don't be that good that early.

[Kevin Clancy]

They were on pace, like 110 wins.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, I. I texted you. I'm like, what would you rather see, the Eagles or the Phillies win?

[Tommy Smokes]

Eagles. All day, every day.

[Kevin Clancy]

You're a football guy. I'm the opposite of that. Like. Like the fact, like the Jets. The jets being so bad. Right now. Like, I'm still.

[John Feidelberg]

I don't know, dude.

[Tommy Smokes]

That's the jets and the Mets.

[Kevin Clancy]

No, no, that's a battle right now because the Mets just won. Like, I'm okay. Like, this season's not bothering me because I'm still riding high like, the Mets overachieved like we never imagined. So I'm like, whatever, Whatever. You know what I mean?

[John Feidelberg]

You know, it's a loser mentality to be happy with an okay season. Yeah, look at the Boston guys. Like, I'm not happy with the binary season. Yeah, yeah, he. Like, I'm happy. We just succeeded a little bit.

[Kevin Clancy]

It was.

[Dave Portnoy]

Imagine if there was a Patriots season where it was like, well, we made the AFC champion.

[John Feidelberg]

No, look at him.

[Tommy Smokes]

He's like, yeah, that is. You've been beaten so bad. At least we were. I don't know, having fallen out there.

[John Feidelberg]

Yeah, we won two in a row.

[Tommy Smokes]

You guys, what do you think about Salah?

[Kevin Clancy]

Salah?

[Tommy Smokes]

Yeah, the muscle man.

[Kevin Clancy]

Like a fucking moron. Yeah, he got. He got. He. He was not good, but he got fucked.

[John Feidelberg]

Why you keep asking questions if you want to leave?

[Tommy Smokes]

Huh?

[John Feidelberg]

You wanted to leave so bad, but you keep asking him questions.

[Tommy Smokes]

It's a trick in podcasting. You're trying to. You're trying to find the out.

[Kevin Clancy]

I gave you the out.

[Tommy Smokes]

And you're real slow right now. I was hoping you'd say something racist. We go.

[Dave Portnoy]

Fuck that Muslim guy.

[Tommy Smokes]

Why not?

[John Feidelberg]

That's why you. You're like, I'm going to say the name like this. Yeah, see?

[Tommy Smokes]

And there it is.

[John Feidelberg]

Nailed it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Do the land sa.