We Go Through Jackie's Notes App - Full Episode

Summary

KFC Radio – Episode: "We Go Through Jackie's Notes App" Release Date: July 24, 2025

Hosts: KFC and Feitelberg (Feits)
Guests/Participants: Jackie, Steve, Sass, Joseph
Platform: Barstool Sports Network

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1. Introduction and Starting the Episode [00:00 – 01:07]

The episode kicks off with KFC and Feits briefly mentioning where listeners can access KFC Radio. Shortly after, Feits introduces the concept of "Truly Unruly," promoting a high-alcohol seltzer, followed by a Chevrolet advertisement. The hosts then transition into the main conversation.

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2. Social Media Critique: Instagram Content and Man Spreading [02:04 – 05:24]

Discussion Highlights:

• Instagram Post Ownership: KFC questions who posted a particular Instagram image, leading to Steve admitting responsibility ([02:12 – 02:17]).

• Critique of Content: KFC expresses frustration over the trend of men appearing awkwardly positioned in tight shorts, likening it to "yak" and criticizing the unnatural camera angles ([02:25 – 04:14]).

• Man Spreading Debate: Jackie and KFC discuss the phenomenon of "man spreading," debating its comfort and societal perceptions ([04:14 – 05:24]).

Notable Quotes:

• KFC ([02:33]): "And you can see like, cheeks and dick and balls. But it doesn't look normal at all."
• Jackie ([04:14]): "That’s why we're always like, don’t man spread."

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3. Personal Reflections and Therapy Insights [05:25 – 11:45]

Discussion Highlights:

• Jackie’s Therapy Session: Jackie shares an anecdote about her therapist listening to the podcast, leading to insights about her social anxiety and self-perception ([07:57 – 11:45]).

• Impact of Past Trauma: Jackie discusses the negative influence of her former soccer coach, who mistreated her, resulting in her constant fear of being disliked ([10:19 – 11:45]).

Notable Quotes:

• Jackie ([07:57]): "She was like, you seriously make it sound like everyone hates you."
• KFC ([10:23]): "Everyone loves me. No, I, I. This also came up in therapy."

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4. Influential Podcasts and Industry Critique [12:09 – 14:34]

Discussion Highlights:

• Time Magazine’s List: KFC mentions that none of Barstool’s podcasts made it into Time’s list of the 100 most influential podcasts, sparking a debate about the credibility and effort behind such rankings ([12:16 – 14:34]).

• Audience Engagement: The hosts discuss how listeners engage with podcasts and question the authenticity of podcast rankings ([14:06 – 14:34]).

Notable Quotes:

• KFC ([12:25]): "Nothing from Barcelona is insane."
• Steve ([14:07]): "That's all I listen to."

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5. Exploring the Notes App: “Moment of Silence” and Personal Stories [21:07 – 52:14]

Discussion Highlights:

• Moment of Silence Segment: KFC shares a personal story about being interrupted by a fly in his apartment, leading to an exaggerated moment of silence ([25:07 – 26:09]).

• Historical Anecdotes: The hosts discuss various historical events, including moments from "Happy Gilmore," the Bosnian War, and cultural references to Kazzy lines ([26:10 – 52:14]).

• Humor and Anecdotes: KFC and Jackie exchange humorous and sometimes dark stories, blending personal experiences with pop culture references ([30:08 – 52:14]).

Notable Quotes:

• KFC ([25:28]): "But I like the whole moment of silence for that fly."
• Jackie ([42:37]): "I saw, like, one time, like, a guy, he had a nice little china set, and then it was like, make a wish."

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6. Job Discussions: Worst and Real Jobs [76:20 – 91:05]

Discussion Highlights:

• Worst Jobs: The hosts candidly discuss which jobs they would perform the worst, identifying roles like club promoters, cab drivers, and plumbing ([84:06 – 91:05]).

• Criteria for “Real” Jobs: A debate ensues about what constitutes a “real” job, with suggestions including doctors, cops, lawyers, and construction workers, while artists and investment bankers are also mentioned ([90:04 – 91:05]).

Notable Quotes:

• Steve ([84:27]): "Club promoter. I'd be the worst in the world."
• KFC ([90:51]): "The stock market can't just close? Are you sure?"

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7. Linguistics and Personal Interests [86:08 – 91:07]

Discussion Highlights:

• Jackie’s Interest in Linguistics: Jackie reflects on her success in a linguistics class and considers it as a potential career path, referencing the movie "Arrival" ([86:18 – 86:55]).

• Cultural References: KFC and Jackie discuss Sigmund Freud, Freudian slips, and their impacts on communication and personal interactions ([52:39 – 55:55]).

Notable Quotes:

• Jackie ([86:14]): "I took a linguistics class in college, and I actually did the best in the class."
• KFC ([53:18]): "I think it's a beautiful story."

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8. Social Anxiety and Interpersonal Relationships [15:00 – 75:07]

Discussion Highlights:

• Social Interactions: Jackie delves into her struggles with social anxiety, especially in conversations and maintaining focus during interactions ([15:00 – 75:07]).

• Friendship Dynamics: The hosts share experiences about relying on friends for support and the challenges that arise when friendships intersect with personal relationships ([58:03 – 75:07]).

• Overcoming Anxiety: Jackie discusses strategies to deal with anxiety, such as being herself and reducing reliance on others for validation ([55:23 – 75:07]).

Notable Quotes:

• Jackie ([15:00]): "I seriously have the mindset where it's just like, all right, take it or leave it."
• KFC ([55:50]): "You're like the most normal person, except when you just start thinking about yourself."

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9. Cultural Trends and Consumer Behavior [52:14 – 79:54]

Discussion Highlights:

• Trendy Items: The hosts critique current fashion trends and consumer behaviors, such as the popularity of "Labu boos" and similar items ([]50:39 – 54:00]).

• Etymology and Language: A light-hearted discussion about the origins of phrases like "Big Apple" and the influence of British accents on American perceptions ([]73:01 – 75:46]).

Notable Quotes:

• Sass ([50:00]): "This is just, like, literally, it's..."
• KFC ([74:11]): "I have somebody in mind."

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10. Concluding Discussions and Final Thoughts [75:06 – 87:56]

Discussion Highlights:

• Final Anecdotes: The conversation wraps up with various humorous and reflective anecdotes, including personal experiences with credit card fraud and observations about societal norms ([75:06 – 87:56]).

• Future Episode Teasers: The hosts hint at upcoming topics and continue their banter, maintaining the show's signature casual and humorous tone ([86:58 – 87:56]).

Notable Quotes:

• Steve ([86:58]): "One of my friends in college used a Venmo card at the bar every single night."
• KFC ([87:17]): "Anything that would make me, like, I'm just not losing New Jersey. Rocking."

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Conclusion

"We Go Through Jackie's Notes App" offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the hosts' personal lives, anxiety struggles, and their candid takes on societal trends. Through humorous anecdotes and sincere discussions, KFC, Feits, Jackie, Steve, and Sass navigate topics ranging from social media critiques and therapeutic insights to job candidacies and cultural phenomena. The episode maintains a balance between light-hearted banter and deeper personal reflections, embodying the quintessential bar conversation that KFC Radio is known for.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• Jackie ([57:49]): "I promise you, a bear is not in the room right now."
• KFC ([57:06]): "How do I deal with this situation? It's a computer. It's not a person."

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Listener Engagement: As always, KFC Radio encourages listener interaction through Stoolie Voicemails, contributing their own embarrassing stories and hypothetical questions to keep the conversation lively and unpredictable.

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For more episodes, visit barstool.link/kfcr or find KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and Amazon Music (ad-free for Prime Members).

Transcript

[KFC]

Hey, KFC Radio listeners. You can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Feits]

Folks, it's the foreplay.

[KFC]

Guys.

[Feits]

Let's talk Truly Unruly. When you spend every day following the countless laws of golf like us, it's refreshing to get a little unruly. Whether that means using the old hand wedge to escape the bunker or just cracking open a hard seltzer that breaks all the rules, few things feel better. Truly Unruly is the first high alk seltzer that actually tastes good. It's hard hitting, but still light and refreshing, making it perfect for everything from the front nine to the clubhouse. Find it near you at trulyhardceltzer.com locations. That's trulyhardselter.com locations. Hard Seltzer Beverage Company, Boston, Massachusetts. Please drink responsibly. Get the crew together and head off to the course in the new 2024 Chevy Traverse. With impressive cargo room, three room seating, and the first ever Z71 trim Traverse can handle your buddies and their golf bags with ease. Chevrolet together. Let's drive.

[Jackie]

Do you think that loss made everyone on planes? Like, I, I, Somebody else is going to have to start talking on this episode.

[KFC]

No way. No way.

[Jackie]

Should we discuss anything beforehand? Like, should we talk? Do we have anything to talk about? So just let's.

[Steve]

Any maintenance? Anything to get out of the way.

[Jackie]

I just meant like, I mean, like, I don't, I don't really have any, like, full topics. I was just thinking, like, I have my note. Do you have anything? Just, let's just.

[KFC]

You want to start the podcast?

[Jackie]

This is all obviously getting cut.

[KFC]

That's right. I always forget you're in charge of it.

[Jackie]

Well, actually, today Steve's gonna be doing the edit, so I'm, I think I'm extra nervous today because I'm like, everything has to stay in.

[KFC]

It's your. It's out of your control.

[Jackie]

It's out of my control now.

[KFC]

Like, all that stays in.

[Jackie]

No, no, no, no, no, Steve.

[KFC]

I mean, wait. I actually do have a question before we get going. Who posted on Instagram?

[Steve]

That's me.

[KFC]

You posted it?

[Jackie]

Well.

[Steve]

Oh, that. Yeah.

[KFC]

This?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Perfect.

[Steve]

Nice.

[KFC]

Perfect.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[KFC]

Well done. I don't know what has happened in this world.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Where every video of every person is them on the couch with just their shorts pulled up so tight.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And you can see like, cheeks and dick and balls. But it doesn't look normal at all. Like, it looks like if someone's getting like, Strangled with Saran Wrap and their face is, like, twisted like that. Yeah. You're like, why is all these lumps all in these weird places? Like, I feel like the yak. It happens. The. There's like, just every time I'm scrolling a clip, I'm just like, why is the zoom in? It's not a zoom, but, like, focal point.

[Steve]

The eyes right there.

[KFC]

Yeah. Right.

[Jackie]

I think that that's, like, industry standard. Well, that's the whole point of man spreading. That's why we're always like, don't man spread.

[KFC]

No, but, like, I. I agreed. That was also a very funny time when that was like, the biggest issue in America was that the people who are bigger sit bigger. Just like a. That was for. For a time, the number one topic in America was like, do you know how men sit on the subway in New York? The only guys with, like, a dick and balls. And they kind of keep it, like. Yeah. I don't know, man.

[Jackie]

Is it like a. Does it feel more comfortable? Does it give it more room? Like, breathing room?

[Steve]

Yes, this is comfortable. Obviously, man spreading is comfortable, but this. Uncomfortable.

[KFC]

Very uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Not. Not like. Like, I'm not like, one of those people who's like, I'll refuse. You know, someone's sitting down. I sit down, of course.

[Jackie]

But, like, it just like.

[KFC]

But if I'm just sitting there, if there's no one sitting next to me. Yeah, it's more comfortable to spread out a little bit.

[Jackie]

Can you pop a ball?

[KFC]

Can I pop a ball? Like, Like. Like. Like, is it like you squeeze it?

[Jackie]

No, no, no. Like, sorry. Can you. I guess now I'm kind of, like, worried. Like, whatever. Just if you, like, sit wrong. Is it. Can you, like, deflate it?

[KFC]

I would imagine so.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I don't. I honestly don't know. I'm not going to pretend it's something I've ever feared, but I would guess it can happen.

[Jackie]

Okay. Okay.

[KFC]

So I'm like, you can. You can certainly gusher it for sure. Like a grape.

[Jackie]

Okay, wait, so. But why. Why did Pat do a good job? He put the text.

[KFC]

Because it's just. There's text in front of it because, like, that's where your eyes go. And it's just. It's just. It's always, first of all, everyone on the Internet's obese. So it's just like a bunch of obese grundles as you scroll, tick, tock, or Instagram, whatever you're scrolling. Like, I'd like to just have my attention focused elsewhere but the camera angle is right there.

[Jackie]

You're looking at everyone nuts.

[KFC]

I'm looking at everyone's nuts and I'm sick of it.

[Jackie]

I'm trying to. I'm realizing, like, my Botox, she like, blasted my forehead. I'm trying to, like, kind of frown right now. I can't do. I seriously can't move. This is the most. Nothing's moving my face. No, it's really crazy. It's just a really crazy feeling anyway, so if you like. I'm trying to frown at the idea of you, like, looking at people's nuts, but I can't.

[KFC]

Okay. But just so you know, frowns happen in the face. In the mouth.

[Jackie]

Frowns. Oh, no. It's like a. It's like a. Well, I can't.

[KFC]

You try to throw your brow.

[Jackie]

Furrow my brow. I'm sorry.

[KFC]

You guys all. You want to frown, come talk to me. I got. I got excellent control of all the muscles in my face. Frown.

[Jackie]

Yeah, you. Well, you kind of sit with a blubber fish frown.

[KFC]

Exactly what it looks like. It's awful.

[Steve]

Instead of resting face.

[KFC]

What is that sea creature doing here at the bar?

[Jackie]

It's really crazy how much you look like.

[KFC]

We have a guest in here today. Joe. Joe's sitting in. We're very happy to have him. Joseph. Joseph. What? Can I ask you a question? What do you want to get out of this experience of sitting in? Of sitting in? Yeah. I just want to see how you guys operate.

[Steve]

I sit in with chicks in the office every time, so I just want to see what yalls flow is like.

[KFC]

Okay.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[KFC]

Well, I just want to make sure we. We get it done.

[Jackie]

Well, I'm going to. Let's just get ahead of. Let's just get ahead of, like, the way that we three operate is not like you're going to be. You're going to be uncomfortable. You're going to be like, where there's going to be a lot of awkward.

[KFC]

Silences and being like, all watching like a How to but the opposite video.

[Jackie]

Yeah. And. And normally, like, I'm there to. I like, I cut it up and. And I like, make it as seamless as possible. I. I don't know what Steve's style is going to be, but, like, I would imagine he probably will just. He might just leave it on.

[KFC]

I like to make it look nice. I don't know how Steve's gonna do it.

[Jackie]

Like, I'm super like. Like, you know, I don't want people being like, oh, wow, Jackie's super unprepared. Knowing how, like, unprepared I am. So I, you know, make myself look as good as possible. I would imagine you're going to more raw version and. Sorry.

[KFC]

Yeah, sorry. Let's. Before we get started here, let's. Because we haven't started.

[Jackie]

Okay. Yeah, we want to.

[KFC]

Do me a favor. Take ten deep breaths.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I've never seen your shoulders this high.

[Jackie]

I just, like. I know. I just, like, seriously, the thought of not being able to touch this is, like, freaking me out a little bit. Not that I'm like, really. I act like I'm, like, always saying the N word. Like, I'm sorry. Sor. Take that. Take that out. Oh, my God. But I'm just. I'm. I'm just. I'm a little. Yeah, again, I'm not saying anything bad. I'm not, like, taking out anything. I just, like, when I'm. When I'm being, like, socially awkward, which is a lot of the time, like, I just be like, oh, cut that. And it makes me, like, uncomfortable to know, like, I have to. I have to live with everything. You know what I mean?

[Sass]

I'll say, though. I listened to the podcast for years, and then I came in here and listened to and you do it, and I wasn't like, damn, Jackie's way more awkward than she sounds.

[KFC]

I've never listened to the podcast in my life, but I've never sat here and thought, I hope Jackie cleans that up.

[Jackie]

We actually might. Oh, really? That's so sweet. My. My therapist the other day said she listened to the podcast.

[KFC]

You told your therapist name?

[Jackie]

I did. Well, because I was like, she, Like, I don't know if I like that.

[KFC]

That would be. I've had people ask me the name, and I'm like, you'll have to kill me.

[Jackie]

I never said to, like, listen to it because it's just, like, I don't think that I. The name. I think it just, like, in a store. Because my whole therapy session, I'm like, I think I'm up. I think I'm up. Like, I'm so bad at my job. Whatever. So she didn't ask me. She later was like, sorry, I definitely should have asked you if I could listen. But she was like, I went ahead and listened just to see, like, exactly if you were up as much as you're up. And she was like. She was like, you seriously make it sound like everyone hates you. And they're like, Like. Like, you're doing a lot worse than you are. Whatever. But then she was like. She brought up I guess one episode, she was like, you guys were talking about, like, gang bangs.

[KFC]

You asked the etymology of them?

[Jackie]

What?

[KFC]

You asked?

[Jackie]

Yeah, but also, I was like. Because I didn't know what episode she listened to. So I was like, you're gonna have to be more specific than that. Like, she was like, I don't. I don't know. Like, you seriously don't remember? Like, when you talked about gang bangs. And I was like, I don't like it. It's seriously, like, it could have drop a pin in one of the episodes and, like, there will be talk about gangbang. And then she ended up saying it was like, the etymology of gang. No, no, no, sorry. It wasn't the etymology one. It was when I was saying the one that she listened to that my therapist listened to was me saying that everyone, life is like a gang bang where you're jerking one guy off, you're sucking another guy off. And I go, oh, I wouldn't listen anymore. And she goes, it was definitely like, you know, a crazy thing to say, but, like, it seemed like, you know, it. It was good for that. Like, whatever the she said, it seemed like it was, like, on par for the. For the podcast. Anyways, I just was kind of mortified, and I might have to, like, cancel my therapy session, but I forgot what I was even saying about that. Oh, yeah, she said. She said kind of similar to what you said. She said, you're doing. You're doing great.

[KFC]

You're doing great. Do you honestly think that. Do you think, like, people don't like you?

[Jackie]

Yeah, I seriously think. Like, I told you, I seriously think my soccer coach, like, fucked me up.

[KFC]

I think. I think it depends what you're talking about. Like, people in the office, yet most people in the office don't like you, but, like, here, like, the five of us are good.

[Jackie]

Everyone loves me. No, I, I. This also came up in therapy.

[KFC]

What is your soccer coach?

[Jackie]

Do you seriously. He was my soccer coach from the time I was 9 until I was 17. Right? And he was like, the. Like, he. Like, he didn't raise me, but, like, he was like, whatever. But then he just decided one day that he hated me, and he, like, took it out on me. And all my teammates were like, what the did you do to him? Like, why does he hate you so much? And I was like, I don't know, guys. And so then he literally every single day, just took all the out of me. And so then I just. Forever.

[KFC]

I'm kind of like, for how many years was that?

[Jackie]

It was Three years I was his favorite. And then one day he just was like, I hate you. And then yelled at me every single day. What?

[Steve]

You have no idea what you did.

[Jackie]

Well, I just got bad at soccer. Seriously pissed him off.

[KFC]

Everything was pretty strictly about my skills.

[Jackie]

No, but then he would, like. He would, like, sit there and, like, it was clearly like, everyone was like, yeah, he's clearly taking out everything on you. And he, like, it was just a whole thing. And I don't really need to get into it, but ever since then, I'm just kind of like. Like there was this flesh switch. Like, oh, people like me. Nope, not for long. Until they hate you.

[KFC]

Until they hate you.

[Jackie]

Until they hate you. It was like the. You know, going from favorite to least favorite. So that. Well, that kind of got dark. I didn't mean to like, but not even dark. I'm just. Did this morning.

[Sass]

No, see, we started 20 minutes ago.

[Jackie]

No, no, no. Podcast starts now. What's up? It's another edition.

[Steve]

Did you take a turbo this morning?

[Jackie]

No, I just. Okay. What's up with you guys?

[KFC]

Let's see. I was just scrolling Twitter just now. I saw Time put out their list of the 100 most influential podcasts of all time. Nothing from Barcelona is insane.

[Steve]

That's crazy.

[Jackie]

And, like, they heard my game day.

[KFC]

Like, part of my take, obviously number one with a bullet. I would think Call Her Daddy should be on there.

[Steve]

That's not on there.

[KFC]

I don't know. I didn't read the whole list. I just know that I. I not. I don't know. I heard someone say there's nothing from Barstool. Chiclet should probably be on it.

[Steve]

Cracking aces.

[KFC]

Cracking aces on there. There's like, to have. I. Look, I know all those lists are put out to have what's happening happen. Like, people get upset and have attention. It's like people who don't vote Ken Griffey into the hall of Fame. Griffey was the first 100, right?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Griffith was. I think he's the only. So, like, Ichiro, Right? Like, people don't get in 100. It's just to draw attention to it. That has to be what's happening here.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

The hundred most influential podcasts of all time. Part of my take's not on that.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Okay, but. But I don't. Ever since Smart List, like, realizing Smart.

[KFC]

List wasn't on it.

[Jackie]

Smart List wasn't on it.

[KFC]

No.

[Jackie]

Okay, well, that's weird. But I was just saying, like, call her Daddy's five.

[KFC]

Okay. Oh, so I Guess when they say nothing from Barcelona, they mean nothing actively from barstool. But.

[Jackie]

Well, I was gonna say, like, now I'm kind of. Well, since smart list. Like, I've never seen a clip from them. I've never, like, seen any promotion. I've never seen anything. Yet there's still, like, number one on all the charts. For some reason. I'm just kind of like. I feel like I. We see a weird bubble that of podcasts that, like, not everyone else is seeing.

[Steve]

I think it's like, one of those things where, like, you see a chart. A song has been charting for, like, 10 weeks as number one. You've never heard that song before. Like, any Selena Gomez song. I think it's just, like, it's just, like, fake numbers. Yeah, they just, like, who.

[KFC]

Who listens to podcasts? Like, do people in, like, they do people in the New York listen to podcast? I don't know anyone who listens to podcasts.

[Sass]

That's all I listen to.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

All right. I can know some people listen to podcasts.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I also, like, kind of listen to podcasts.

[KFC]

Huh?

[Jackie]

I kind of listen to. I do.

[KFC]

I know you listen to podcasts. I guess I always forget. You do.

[Steve]

I do not listen.

[KFC]

You don't listen to podcasts. You do. You do. No.

[Sass]

What do you listen to? What do you do?

[Steve]

No music or just stare?

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Sass]

What about when you're, like, folding laundry or, like, washing the dishes? You're just silent.

[Jackie]

Really?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Yeah. I don't.

[Sass]

I'll have, like, an aneurysm if I don't have, like, three forms of stimulation, no matter what.

[KFC]

I, I, I think actually it's funny, like, I said FaceTime, my godson, yesterday was his birthday, and I got, like, legitimately sick from it. And I think it's like, it's like how I can't play video games either, because it's just too fast. I can't, My eyes can't keep up with it. Like, I don't ever FaceTime. I got, like, I had to lay down after the call.

[Jackie]

Wait, what do you mean?

[KFC]

Just because, like, I don't, like, I think you, you saying, like, I need more forms of stimulation. I think I can only have one, otherwise, it is a nightmare. Oh, but, like, it was like, you know, like, he's, he's passing the phone, like, my mom's here, my grandma's here. And I was like, patrick, buddy, you gotta fucking chill with that.

[Steve]

Put that shit on a tripod right now.

[KFC]

I literally hung up on him. I was like, yeah, My food just got here, so I gotta run. I was at home. I didn't even know I get dinner like that, but it is.

[Jackie]

Well, I. Like, if I have a conversation with anyone, I. I don't understand how people, like, multitask. I can't text while I'm talking or whatever. And, like, not only am I fully focused in taking all my energy to focus on, like, the situation, I'm not even, like, really listening to the words that anybody's saying. I'm just kind of trying to focus on, like, trying to see. Act normal and, like, not act as anxious as possible. Like, right now. Like, I'm. I'm. I don't know what the. You're saying at all.

[KFC]

I can tell.

[Jackie]

You can definitely tell the podcast because, like, I'll say something. I'm seriously, like, a human version of what's it called? Like, Internet Explorer or the.

[KFC]

The whatever, where it's, like, shitty search engine.

[Jackie]

Yeah, exactly. Because you guys will say something, and then I'll. I'll watch it back and like, 10 minutes later, I'll, like, go back to that and be like. And have some kind of comment on.

[KFC]

Why.

[Jackie]

I don't know.

[KFC]

I don't. This podcast.

[Jackie]

I know. I don't know why. I'm, like, 1,000 times. I'm just, like, scared. I'm just, like, scared about not taking it out anyways. I just recognize, like, I am. I'm so focused on myself on this podcast that I don't even listen to what you guys are saying. So if I ever say something delayed, like, that's, you know, why. Sorry.

[KFC]

No, it's perfect. There's Jackie's, like, I think everyone hates me.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I am a humongous narcissist. I'm only thinking about myself.

[Jackie]

I think I also. I also, like, seriously don't remember conversations. I think I like, trauma. Black it out because I'm so anxious. I'm really like.

[KFC]

You on medicine? No, I used to get on medicine. I know.

[Jackie]

I used to. Well, I used to be on medicine. I used to be on medicine. And then. And then I just kind of cold turkey. Cut that out. And then I, like, went really crazy. You're, like, so not supposed to do that. And I, like. I broke up with everybody. What else is up?

[KFC]

Letting you run. Dude, this is your show.

[Jackie]

It's another edition.

[KFC]

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[Steve]

It's crazy you chose today of all days to do this.

[Jackie]

Steve's not editing today.

[KFC]

This is the Jackie podcast. What else do you want to talk about?

[Jackie]

No, I. I seriously don't have anything. I was just gonna say, like, if we don't have anything, like, I. I have like a notes app that I can.

[KFC]

But I don't know. Let's go.

[Jackie]

There's nothing. They're all gonna be like one and dones. Well, does anyone have anything?

[Steve]

Nothing. All you.

[KFC]

What do you. Jackie Podcast.

[Sass]

I have a question.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Do you guys think there's been more hours of Call of Duty played or more hours of human history?

[KFC]

More hours of human history.

[Jackie]

What? Yeah, I feel like for sure. More hours of human history.

[KFC]

Is this a you question or is this an Internet question?

[Sass]

It was an Internet stat that I saw that. I said this would be a good question. Oh, what do you think?

[Steve]

Human history? Yeah.

[Sass]

There have been 2.8 million years of Call of Duty played in total. And 300,000 years of humans.

[KFC]

Once I saw that, once I heard that, it was like, yeah, I guess.

[Steve]

I didn't think about how many is going on at once. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

[KFC]

It. It does make sense. It is like. It makes sense. Cuz it's dumb.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

You know what I mean? Like we're combining hundreds of people or thousands of people all their time spending video games. All I know is Sass plays like.

[Steve]

17 hours a day and there's hundreds of thousands of.

[KFC]

There's thousands of sasses.

[Jackie]

That's. You know, the UNO plays, like, all the time.

[KFC]

You're a Call of Duty player. Really? Are you good?

[Sass]

I'm okay.

[KFC]

So you play, like, at night? You play?

[Sass]

Well, like, I'm out of practice. I don't have an Xbox in New York, but at home, I play it all the time.

[KFC]

Like. Like. So, like, you'll be in college and.

[Sass]

No, I don't have it in college. It's literally just. So. It's just like, what? For Christmas break? That's, like, what I do during Christmas break. But I did it all in high school, so.

[KFC]

So you play Call of Duty? Like, I play hockey.

[Sass]

Do you play hockey? Like.

[KFC]

Like, Christmas break, once a year, get together?

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah, Yeah, I guess. Maybe. Maybe like that. But, like, I just graduated college, so I'm home for the last four years. I've been home for, like, three months every year, so I can put in. I put in hours.

[Jackie]

What?

[KFC]

Not that you're, like. You're. You're, like, defensive, which I respect. I put in time. I'm not some.

[Sass]

I didn't know you played hockey.

[KFC]

Fly by night. Call of Duty.

[Sass]

Never make me play.

[Jackie]

I'll be horrible.

[KFC]

We gotta have you play sass.

[Sass]

Fuck no.

[KFC]

All right, let's see this notes app.

[Jackie]

I mean, it's all gonna be like. There's not gonna be much large discussion of it, but I'll just read everything that I got.

[KFC]

I have a different feeling, but we'll see. James, how are we doing so far?

[Jackie]

It's Joseph.

[KFC]

Joseph. I'm sorry.

[Jackie]

No. You freestyle it every time.

[KFC]

I'm so bad. I'm oddly bad with J names. You know what my name.

[Jackie]

You know what I realize is if. If somebody says Jackie, the first person I think of, like, associate that name with is Jackie Chan way before me.

[KFC]

You are a. Wait, just 30 seconds ago. You're like, all I do is think about myself and me. Like, someone mentions. Jackie is obviously Jackie.

[Jackie]

I don't know why. Like, it. Somebody said, oh, like, my name's. Or they were like, my name's Jackie. And my first thought was, oh, like, Jackie J. Okay. This is not the first one. I feel like, okay, British people, I feel like they're pranking us saying schedule. Like, the way that they say schedule. Saying it like, schedule or schedule. Like, that's stupid. I know that's stupid. You fucking know that's stupid. I feel like they're. They're punking us. Like, I. That's idiot. Like, that's. That.

[KFC]

This is gonna be an all Night edit.

[Jackie]

Oh, my God. Steve, Clutch, Jake.

[KFC]

How we doing so far?

[Jackie]

Okay, but that's just, that's just one thought.

[KFC]

No, no. Okay. So I actually have something to say about that. Okay, I agree. I, I think it's, it's funny, but I have seen a British person rebut that. And, and it was a perfect answer. And so I, I think it was like Colbert and John Oliver or something like that. And Colbert was making fun of how he pronounces words, and he just went, well, we invented the language, so I think we say it right. And I was like, that's tough to fight. That's a tough argument.

[Jackie]

But that's kind of like the argument of, like, you know how British people are. Like, British people are saying, like, Americans have accents. No, we don't. Like, we don't. Like, this is the lack of an accent. Whenever anybody sings, they don't have an accent. Like, Americans, like, not to be like, America, we're right over here. But, like, we don't have an accent.

[KFC]

I, I would agree with you. Having just got back from London. I, I would notice when I said things like the, like, the waiter or whatever would kind of brighten up. Like, they like, oh, I got to hear an American say that. Oh, like you, like, you heard, like, an English person say, like, cheerio or something like that? Oh, they really say that in real life. They got, like, very excited. I honestly don't even know. Like, I think it was probably just I was talking crass, like, like, like one of them was for sure a waiter being like, how's your day going? I was like, unbelievable. And that for some reason, he's like, oh, they talk like that.

[Jackie]

But it's like, yeah, obviously we talk different from them, but we talk. Right.

[Steve]

Are we the. That like, different regions have different accents?

[KFC]

That's a dumb.

[Steve]

No, no. Uk.

[KFC]

Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Like Liverpool. A Schouser accent is completely different than.

[Steve]

Are you able to tell the difference?

[KFC]

I can tell not between all of them, but some of them for sure. There's cockney. Yeah. Liverpool, Scouser. There's posh, there's.

[Steve]

But like, for us, it could be like 20 miles down the road you're talking.

[KFC]

Yeah, different.

[Steve]

Like, every part of Long island talks different.

[KFC]

I think. I, I, I don't. I would imagine it's the same everywhere. Like, I, I know my Spanish teacher had a lisp, and that was because he was from boss country.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So they spoke different there than they speak in, I don't know, Madrid, but I, I would I would venture to guess it is a incredibly normal thing.

[Jackie]

I wasn't paying attention.

[KFC]

All right, Jackie, you're activated. Read your second one. Okay.

[Jackie]

I always wanted to do this segment. I forgot. Moment of silence segment, okay? Where we each go around the room, we. We say a moment of silent, then we hold a moment of silence or something.

[KFC]

Okay.

[Jackie]

I don't have anything off the top of my head.

[KFC]

Okay. I got Sunday afternoon. Sunday afternoon. This is one of the best stories I'll ever tell. And if you don't think so, it's just because you haven't experienced it.

[Jackie]

Okay?

[KFC]

Sunday afternoon, I was sitting by an open window, just listening to the sounds of outside, reading a magazine, and a fly came into my apartment. And I rolled up the magazine I was reading, whacked the fly, went back to reading my article. It was a dream. I was like, this is what Americana is all about right here. This is what my grandfather was talking. This is why. Why he stormed the beach at D day. This right here. But I like the whole moment of silence for that fly.

[Jackie]

Oh, okay. Moment of silence.

[Steve]

That was a really short moment.

[KFC]

He's a fly. He's a fly.

[Jackie]

He's a fly. And also, it's a moment.

[KFC]

It's not a minute of silence, you know, before. I don't know if it's all of Europe, but I went to a bar to watch an EPL game. Right after, I think it was the Leicester City owner was coming to a game and his helicopter just crashed and he died, obviously.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And so I was at a game. I think it was Arsenal, Liverpool. I went with Za to, like, some bar in the East Village to watch the game, and they had a moment of silence before the game for the owner who had just died. And they do a full minute in eternity. And it was like an EPL bar. So, like, everyone, you know, like, sometimes, like, at, like, an Olympic event, like, the bar will stand up for the anthem kind of deal. Like, the whole bar stood up and agreed to the moment of silence. And it was just like the longest minute of my life. It was so goddamn long. That's so uncomfortable.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I. I always have felt like everyone does, like, a minute long. But again, it's called a moment of silence. We don't need to do the full minute. We don't need a timer. Like, at some point, everyone, like, they think about it for, like, 30 seconds. And then everyone else is thinking, like, all right, this is kind of like this long.

[Steve]

You get 10 seconds to think about that person and the rest about yourself.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Then you're like, what am I getting?

[KFC]

Like, when you're kneeling and awake, you're like, God, I better look like a. I don't know. God, I guess. Can you watch after this guy?

[Jackie]

Like, my knees hurt right now.

[KFC]

I don't even remember how to do a prayer. This is so dumb. Like, do I do this one? Or is it this one?

[Jackie]

When everyone's, like, singing the homilies and you're saying, that's a good moment of silence. Does anyone else have a. Have a moment of silence?

[KFC]

No.

[Jackie]

Joseph, you included Jacob. You included Aussie Osborne.

[KFC]

Joseph. Agree. Agree.

[Jackie]

Well, Joseph, you made it real. It was supposed to be for.

[KFC]

Did you see the. Robbie Fox sent it to me yesterday going around the. Hang on one second.

[Steve]

Sorry.

[KFC]

It was. It was Ozzy osborne at some F1. Yeah. So bizarre. F1 interview during the Canadian Grand Prix. Did you guys. I'm gonna pause this real quick. Did you guys. You guys obviously didn't really grow up on or watch the Osbornes. It's probably the only reality TV I've ever watched. I don't. I don't think it was like a nightly appointment viewing for me, but I watched it with some regularity. It's the funniest thing about. It's just laughing at a handicap, man. But it was like, the funniest thing of him just like. Do you know he couldn't speak?

[Jackie]

Yeah. Was that from, like, drugs or just like. Is he kind of.

[KFC]

I think it's from. Yeah, I'm sure it's from everything.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like, I mean, he snorted fire ants once.

[Steve]

Crazy.

[KFC]

He snorted. He snorted piss. He, like, he's. He's done a little bit of silence.

[Jackie]

For all the fire ants.

[KFC]

But this clip was just like. This is how this man went through life for like, 30 years, right? Yeah, probably something like that.

[Jackie]

Trying to listen to what Ozzy's got to say. Ozzy. Pretty tv.

[KFC]

Good to see you.

[Jackie]

Good to see you here.

[KFC]

Sharon had some good news this week, I hear. Yeah. I'm currently writing a musical about the life of time with Raspberry the Mad Monk. And we just got to go on Broadway. All right, I'll try and think of.

[Jackie]

A question for that answer.

[KFC]

Did you bring the dog? And then he would just have these moments of clarity where it's like, where the dogs. They're all at home.

[Jackie]

Okay. To be fair, that's literally me, like, like, trying to say, like, the schedule. The schedule.

[KFC]

Like, he just drops. Like, did I hear a Rasputin in there? Like, Aussie, how you Doing how you enjoying the F1, mate, Rasputin? You're like, what the. What did he have?

[Steve]

Or like, was there anything.

[KFC]

I, I, I'm sure that there is, like, a, if you Google it, there's some kind of answer, but he had Parkinson's. Oh, okay.

[Jackie]

Well, you made it real.

[KFC]

Yeah, it was just like, I was like 12, and I was like, I don't know. This old guy's insane.

[Jackie]

But wait, how old was he?

[KFC]

76.

[Jackie]

76.

[KFC]

Yeah, I got it. I also don't know.

[Jackie]

It's younger than I thought.

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he lived hard.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

The. I don't know much of his catalog. I don't, I don't have, like, a ton of Ozzy Osborne knowledge outside of the Osbornes and Crazy Train, which the Patriots would play.

[Jackie]

Was he ever, like, kind of like, actually, like, I feel like the only times I knew him, the only times I knew him was like, it's a joke. Because he was like, kind of. His brain was so fried by the time. Was he actually, like, known to be a really good artist? Is that.

[KFC]

Again, I'm not, It's not my genre of music, so I don't really know well, but, like, I know he was considered, like, a genre defining. Yeah, not even genre defining. I think genre inventing. I think he was like the God of heavy metal.

[Jackie]

Heavy metal. Oh, is that what it is?

[KFC]

I think so. That's my understanding of it.

[Jackie]

Damn. Rip.

[KFC]

RIP has a nice eulogy for Ozzy.

[Jackie]

Okay. The, you know, the, like, feels like temp. It's like they'll have the temperature and it feels like. Who comes up with that?

[KFC]

Who comes up with it?

[Jackie]

Yeah. How do they.

[KFC]

I assume someone at the. Someone.

[Jackie]

Yeah, like an intern. That they're just like Jacob, the first.

[KFC]

Person who goes outside that day, or.

[Jackie]

I just like to think they just, like, have an intern.

[KFC]

76 feels like 92.

[Jackie]

They're like, all right.

[KFC]

That'S a new rule. I like that. It feels like temp is decided by just the first person who goes outside.

[Jackie]

They walked in. They're like, what's it?

[KFC]

What do you feel?

[Jackie]

Okay, let's all start the podcast. We will have a momentous silence segment and then we'll also have Feels like whoever gets in first gets to do. Feels like.

[KFC]

What's your Feels like for today?

[Jackie]

Yeah, you know what? Actually, like, I kind of thought, like, it said 70. Felt like 65.

[KFC]

I was gonna say pretty low. Pretty low day. I might have said high 50s.

[Jackie]

Yesterday was 80. Felt like 65.

[KFC]

I wore, I wore A flannel yesterday.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Told them I would work yesterday.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

That keeps up.

[Jackie]

Okay. It feels like temp, you know, Guy, I don't know.

[KFC]

From now on, as far as KFC radio is concerned, the weather Jackie handles feels like when you get in every day, you have to just put the weather.

[Jackie]

And it's gonna kind of like be like coincide with my mood, you know? Piss off. Mood. It feels like fucking hell.

[KFC]

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[Jackie]

What brain comes to mind when you say advertisement? Go.

[KFC]

Oh, God. I began with an I don't. I don't know. I still don't have something clear that's come to mind. I went with an A first. Now I'm thinking FedEx.

[Jackie]

Love FedEx.

[Steve]

Apple.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[Sass]

Cricket Mobile.

[Jackie]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[KFC]

Cricket Mobile. I don't know what that is.

[Jackie]

You haven't seen that ad?

[Sass]

It's for, like, a phone.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Cricket Bubble. You haven't seen that? No, I was the, like, Justin Long Apple commercials. Oh, wait, what?

[KFC]

Justin Long's Apple. Oh, I remember that one. He was the cool guy. And then the. The mat. The Mac and PC. The PC was in there.

[Jackie]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Jared. Nike. Okay. I thought Geico.

[KFC]

Geico. All good ones.

[Jackie]

FedEx.

[KFC]

FedEx came to mind because it's the. The Arrow. The Arrow. I think.

[Jackie]

Yeah. You know about my. My college essay?

[KFC]

No.

[Jackie]

Yeah, She's.

[Steve]

She's explained this.

[Jackie]

I've explained this. I'm actually, like. No offense, but, like, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna explain was. It was how I got into college. Oh, okay. I want to come up with, like, some kind of slang, like, opposite of cash money. Like, like, oh, that wasn't cash money. Like, that was, like, contactless. Like, what's. You know, like, that's a contactless payment. Like, that sucks. Like that. Next segment.

[KFC]

What's. What's the. Like, Steve got that. What's the process for? Like, when you come up with an idea, what gets to the note app. Notes app. And what goes.

[Jackie]

That's not worth it. Most of them, like, not worth it. Not worth writing it down.

[KFC]

But do you write it down or do you go, that's not worth it.

[Jackie]

I write it down. I just write down everything just because I'm like, one of them might start cold one day. And, like, you know, obviously not all of them do.

[KFC]

It reminds me of the. The Mitch Hedberg joke where he has. He talks about how hard it is being a comedian. And he's like, you gotta think of funny things. You gotta write them down. And if I can't find a pen, I gotta convince myself it's not funny.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Sometimes I'll try and, like. Like, be like, oh, Remember that? That was good. Like at night time when I don't feel like, you know, turning on and then I wake up in the morning and most of them, I'm just like, good thing I didn't write that down.

[KFC]

I'll. I do that. I do the. Always sleep on that one.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And you wake up. It's not working.

[Jackie]

It is so crazy how like something about the night time, like you. You think that you are seriously cooking with whatever thought. And then you're half asleep too. Yeah.

[Steve]

Because you're gonna have dream. You're almost a little delusional.

[KFC]

Yeah, that. That. You know what? It's weird that that is when you have some of your best ideas is like in that dream state. Kind of the fugue state. I guess it would be. But like when your brain's working the best, it's the morning. Is it really?

[Jackie]

I don't.

[KFC]

For men. It is for me. Because when you're like, testosterone's bias. That's when you're like, again, I don't know. That's what I read.

[Jackie]

I. I know that when you're about to fall asleep and when you write, when you wake up, your brain's in like the theta wave or the theta wave, whatever state. And that's when you're most like, you absorb the most information. Like that's when you're up until seven. That's why you like, everything's so impressionable on you is because you're in like a theta state. So then you can like, if you want to rewire your brain to believe something, then you just like repeat it in the morning right when you wake up or right before you're about to fall asleep. And then it like, you know, changes your thought process.

[KFC]

That's a good note.

[Jackie]

I also feel like a lot of my nighttime thoughts are like, I'm like, what am I supposed to do with this information? I like, for example, cake is just lasagna. I don't know like how that's going to benefit me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. But like, it is technically a form of lasagna.

[KFC]

Cakes. Lasagna. Yeah. No, you nailed that one.

[Jackie]

And I remember being like, could I, could I make any kind of money off of that? What do I do with that information?

[KFC]

Yeah, he's on the corner just shaking a bin. You guys ever thought about cakes? Lasagna? One of these days, just fully dressed, totally normal, just. Just sitting like a homeless woman shouting absurd facts and people. I guess you're five Bucks.

[Jackie]

Everyone's like, I guess you're right.

[KFC]

One guy's like, you can make a pretty penny sitting outside Penn Station. You're going home to cook dinner. Speaking of food.

[Jackie]

And it's not, it's not any other fact. It's honestly just the fact that cake is lasagna all the time.

[KFC]

Someone gives you five bucks. That woman is insightful. They come back the next day just shouting the same thing. She's got, she's got one pitch.

[Jackie]

It's the king lasagna girl. I eventually come up with, like, merch. I, I think I've asked this before, actually. Speaking of homeless people. This is not the no app thing, but if you were homeless, how would you, how would you go about making money?

[KFC]

I, I've said this, I think since I was a child. I would, I would just. Little old boy, my parents are like, you got to eat. There are people who are hungry. Why couldn't they just suck dick?

[Jackie]

No, Johnny, I don't know. I've always said I just suck dick if I was hungry since I was a young lad, I've always said, yeah, what have you always said, though?

[KFC]

That I would just walk. I just like, I get out of here. You just walk. You just go, okay. You know, my actual plan is start walking south. Oh, start walking south because you're, you don't want, you want winners. I love winners. As a person who can afford a home and clothes, if I couldn't afford a home and clothes, I wouldn't be a huge fan of winners. So I would just start walking south. And then as you're walking, you stop in at resorts because, well, you, first of all, you'd have to steal yourself some clothes that could make you blend in at a resort. But then you go, you stop in a resorts, you sign the bill with any room number. See you later.

[Steve]

You don't think they would catch on really fast? As soon as you get caught, there.

[KFC]

Would be news reports up and down the eastern seaboard, not the guy who's stealing lunches at resorts. But I don't, I think, I think I'd be, I wouldn't, I wouldn't dilly dally. I'd get my lunch, I'd get on my way. And I don't think they'd care enough to be like, who, yeah, who got a capri salad and charged to room 862? I think they'd just be like, yeah, someone would complain. They go, yeah, I don't know. I didn't eat a salad. And they go, we'll take it off your bill. So it really. It's a harmless crime.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. They probably wouldn't. Or, like, then you go and you go to the. The gift store and you get, like, the nice dresses, and then you buy those. You say, put on a room for free, and then you sell that dress.

[KFC]

If I became homeless tomorrow, I would start living better than I do today.

[Jackie]

It's really just like. Yeah. Honestly, our. Our non. Homelessness that's keeping us back, not getting.

[KFC]

Designed, my goddamn apartments holding me back. If I could be a homeless guy, the world would be my oyster and.

[Jackie]

I would be sucking so much. Yeah. I. I saw, like, one time, like, a guy, he had a nice little china set, and then it was like, make a wish. And it was like, over a pier. And then everyone did that, and he had so many, like, nickels by the end of the day.

[KFC]

Oh, he was convincing people to throw nickels.

[Jackie]

Yeah. So I would just. I'd probably do that.

[KFC]

I heard the ocean likes blue bells, so.

[Jackie]

You know what really is good. Yeah. But I like your idea better.

[KFC]

Yeah. I just think that would be the path of least resistance. I don't think I'd be causing enough commotion that people would be looking for me. I think. I think I'd live pretty goddamn well.

[Jackie]

I kind of want to do that now. What would you guys do?

[Steve]

Tent in the. In the woods? I feel like it's the easiest way to go. Get a tent, go to the woods, hunt for your food.

[Jackie]

Oh, so you're just like. You're just like.

[Steve]

Yeah, yeah. 100.

[KFC]

I think it'd be so much better.

[Steve]

To be homeless in the woods than to be homeless in a city.

[Jackie]

Perhaps. You went last one.

[KFC]

Terrified in the woods. Yeah, because I've never really been, like, I don't think most of us have been, like, in the woods. In the woods.

[Jackie]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[KFC]

Like, I've been to national parks and I've been camping and I've been hunting. But, like, to be in the woods, I think is. I think it's like being just in the middle of the ocean. Like, I don't know. I don't have anything around me that. I know how it works.

[Steve]

Yeah, well, then you'd learn. You'd adapt.

[KFC]

I don't think I would. No, I think. I think I'd be like, luka resort's right down the road. Like, the am I doing in the woods? There's a hundred unsucked dicks at that resort.

[Jackie]

Capri salad Pants down.

[KFC]

I don't even think if I've ever had a capri salad. I don't know why I said that.

[Jackie]

Something really good.

[KFC]

What is it? Like basil, mozzarella and tomato.

[Jackie]

That's it?

[KFC]

Yeah, I could get it on of that.

[Jackie]

Refreshing.

[KFC]

What is it? These exact ingredients.

[Jackie]

I, well, yeah, because I feel like whenever you hear about people and they're like, oh, it would take me, you know, X amount of calories to hunt this whatever. So it's not worth it. Like, it just doesn't seem like it doesn't seem.

[KFC]

Do you know people who know how many calories they'd expend hunting?

[Jackie]

Well, that's what you have to do is when, when you, when you are, you know, trying to survive, you say like, if I hunt, if I can fish right now, that's going to be less calories. If I hunt a bear, like I, I, then I'm gonna expend more calories than it's gonna be worth. You know what I mean?

[KFC]

I, I don't, I mean, I do understand what you're saying, but I never would have thought of that.

[Jackie]

That's like in the, in the TV show, like alive or whatever, like wilderness. Like that's what they do is they're like, it's not worth it.

[KFC]

They're like, you know what? If I had a couple more calories in me, I would fight this bear. But I guess I'll fish. It's just the guy saying real loud so the women hear him. I would, I would go fight that bear. But I guess a trout wouldn't be so bad.

[Jackie]

The calories.

[Steve]

I take back my answer, by the way. I would become a caddy again. Cuz you got the caddy shack. You could stay there at night, wake up, you're on a beautiful golf course, probably get served food by one of the other golfers, get two, could tip $200 a day, they slip you a free drink here and there, get the golf on Tuesdays.

[Jackie]

Yeah, but, but you're just talking about like, you're like, oh, I, I would go work in investment banking, say a job.

[Steve]

But it's not like you're not like on contract or anything like that. You can, you can show up or you don't have to show up, I guess.

[Jackie]

Okay, but, but in this scenario, like you have seriously, like you have done crack in front of millions of people. Like you're unemployed and you're homeless and you have to. I don't, I don't know. You know what, you're right.

[Steve]

I Like tell you about the other caddies I worked with. Most homeless and uncracked.

[Jackie]

Okay, that's so fair. That's so fair. Okay.

[KFC]

Yeah. Crack. Crack was your unhirable move. We have three crack addicts who work here. That's true.

[Jackie]

Yeah. I don't know why that was my. Yeah, you could be a caddy. Do you guys have anything?

[KFC]

I mean Bon Jovi has like a.

[Steve]

Diner or something where you just do.

[KFC]

Dishes to get food, so.

[Jackie]

Oh, sick.

[Steve]

Best answer, Steve.

[KFC]

Steve is like, look, whatever you do, I'm not losing New Jersey. Rocking.

[Sass]

I feel like I would definitely sell drugs. That seems like a solid.

[KFC]

Sell drugs.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I think that sense makes. I think that's a harder road.

[Sass]

But like, do you ever see like a nice girl drug dealer? Like no one's gonna kill me.

[KFC]

I think.

[Sass]

There'S a space in the market. There's an opening in the market for like just a nice girl who has crack. But I'm not doing it.

[KFC]

I. When I first lived in New York, I lived with a drug dealer. And it's not. It didn't seem like it was the hardest job. Like. Like he was just like. People would just show up at the apartment and he'd. It was also weird that like there was a time when drug dealers just selling weed. Like he was just selling weed. But at that time it was like, dude, my roommate's a drug dealer. And that was like 10 years ago. Like yo, my roommate sells drugs. He just sold weed. That way I can buy on the street corner.

[Jackie]

It is fully legal here, right?

[KFC]

Sure is.

[Jackie]

It's like legal everywhere now, right?

[KFC]

It's not everywhere, but it's. It's legal in a lot of. Most of the places you want to go you can buy weed at.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Okay. I just coining the term like almond milk effect. It's like just where you. Where you hop on board something just cuz everyone else is doing it and it's just like. I'm just describing being like trendy and trends. But like I feel like. Yeah.

[Steve]

It'S a long list by the way.

[Jackie]

I know it keeps going like. And I didn't.

[KFC]

I just kind of picked the middle till 4:30. So let's go.

[Jackie]

Okay. Perfect.

[KFC]

Okay.

[Jackie]

And we have to obviously cut out the dead air. Sorry. And everything else I said up top. I feel like. I feel like little brothers of an older brother with no sister. Sorry. If anybody. Oh, that is Steve. Well, I don't think about you but.

[Steve]

Like I feel like person.

[Jackie]

No, they're just more sensitive than you.

[KFC]

Would think little brothers with an older brother and no sister.

[Jackie]

And no sister.

[KFC]

This sounds like a very personal experience.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I feel like I've come into contact with a lot of like, little brothers and like, you'd be like, oh, you have an older brother, like you can take, you know, a lot of. But they're actually really sensitive.

[KFC]

Yeah. So don't even get me started on their last name's Coolidge. I'm just saying it sounds like you're talking about.

[Jackie]

Oh, yeah, exactly. Honestly, I have somebody in mind.

[KFC]

It's like.

[Jackie]

Do you think that a homeless person. This is definitely not hard hitting one, but it's. I feel like all my thoughts are about homeless people. Do you think that a homeless person has ever, like, owned an umbrella? Like, bought an umbrella? Because, like, if you're being rained on and you're homeless, like, I don't really think it's not. There's not much to that. Just like, I don't. I don't know if a homeless person, like, do they really care about the rain?

[Sass]

I see homeless people with Labu boos. I think they have umbrellas.

[Jackie]

That's a good point. Oh, actually, that.

[KFC]

What? Can you guys explain a little boo boo to me? Like, like, it's.

[Sass]

Why do you say.

[KFC]

Cuz you. You just added la in front of a word that already. It's a boo boo. The, like, it's just. It's just fashionable.

[Steve]

Okay.

[KFC]

No, I'm asking. Is that. That's why people have Laboo?

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Sass]

I think they're stupid and I hate.

[KFC]

Them, but it's just the fact it's not like, like a Pokemon car. There's no value to them. No.

[Sass]

Oh, there's value.

[KFC]

So there. So there is. Like, people are buying them like Beanie Babies. They're buying them.

[Sass]

It's actually very much like that, I think.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Wait, what is it?

[KFC]

It's like you like, literally don't know what a little wear on like a belt loop.

[Jackie]

I think I thought for a while people were talking about, like, it was just like a cute name for Louboutins.

[KFC]

Yeah. Yeah. So these are. They're. They're bought to use for fashion or.

[Sass]

Put them like on a purse or something.

[Jackie]

Yeah, it's like a keychain.

[Sass]

I think at first people were buying them because they thought they were cute, and now since they're a fashion trend, people are buying them to resell like anything else.

[Jackie]

Yeah, well, it's kind of just like Pokemon cards almost, I think.

[KFC]

Oh, yeah, that's what, that's What?

[Sass]

But it's more stupid than that.

[Jackie]

Yeah. I don't.

[Sass]

Is at least, like, kind of a game or is a game. This is just, like, literally, it's.

[KFC]

I don't, I don't like when trends get infantilizing, and it's like, why are you acting like a little child?

[Jackie]

Yeah. I. I've never understood this, like, the jelly cats trend, which is the same. It's like, just another stuffed animal. The Beanie Babies, like, well, I think stuffed animals.

[KFC]

Like, I've. I've dated girls who, like, this is my stuffing from a kid. I'm like, that's.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Bizarre.

[Jackie]

I never, like, grew attached to anything, any kind of stuffed animal or anything enough to be, like, I care about, you know, like, that. So maybe I just have, like, attachment issues and, like, that's why I don't understand it. But.

[KFC]

But as someone like you who doesn't have weird attachments to things, like people with blankets or dolls. I don't know. Anything like that reminds me of childhood. I'm like, Like, I don't want to be around that.

[Jackie]

Oh, well, that might be trauma. I don't think I.

[KFC]

It certainly could be. I'm not, not like, there's no way. But I just think, like, I'm not a child. Why do I want to be around childish stuff?

[Jackie]

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I, I. And also, I can't, like, really do anything with it.

[KFC]

Yeah. Like, do you want me to play with this?

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like, what am I supposed to do with this thing?

[Jackie]

I also think, like, whenever I'm in Montecito, like, Time Warner's house, I walk by it and, like, it's massive. And I kind of realized whenever I walk back, like, people are just trying to, like, recreate the Beanie Babies and, like, make a bunch of money from it. The way that he.

[KFC]

Wait. When you walk by, who's.

[Steve]

How.

[Jackie]

Ty Warner.

[KFC]

Who's that?

[Jackie]

The guy who made beating babies.

[KFC]

Oh, really?

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Oh, I didn't know. I thought you said Time Warner, like, the kids.

[Jackie]

No, no.

[KFC]

I was like, well, I'm dumb. I didn't realize that was a guy.

[Jackie]

I might have. I might have, like, that. Yeah. I might even have been a Freudian slip or whatever. Does Freudian slip always entail, like, sexual.

[KFC]

I think Freud was a bit of a pervert, so I think. Yeah.

[Jackie]

Oh, so was it named after. I thought he was, like, a philosopher. Was a name.

[KFC]

Freud was like, a therapist.

[Jackie]

Oh, okay. Got it. Got it.

[Steve]

He had some weird thoughts.

[Jackie]

Oh, really?

[Sass]

It was because, like, he would always say, like, The. The stages of the. Of when you're a baby or whatever. Like, he was all about sex. Like, the anal stage, whatever. So, like, 40 and slip started when people would, like, accidentally, like, call, like, their girlfriend, mom or something.

[KFC]

Like, he was big on, like, the edible complex.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[Steve]

He was big on, like, you're gonna marry someone that looks exactly like your mom, smells like your mom. Like, stuff like that. Really strange.

[KFC]

Yeah, he, like. He likes Freud. Sigmund liked his mom.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[KFC]

Sigmund was quite attached to his mother.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[KFC]

But, yeah, so I think. I think typically a Freudian slip is about sexual, and I think I think even, like, more specific. I think it's a sexual slip about your mother.

[Jackie]

That's so funny that he's just, like, trying to, like, put signs behind it.

[KFC]

That must be so awesome if you get so smart. Like, I'm smarter than everyone. Yeah. I can convince them that we're. I'm the normal one. If you don't want to bang your mom, like, oh, you're just not feeling it. You're not feeling. You don't have the ego that you need.

[Jackie]

Trust me. We all.

[KFC]

All want to pay our laws. Okay.

[Jackie]

I really respect that. How should I respond to this? Boy Dot com, I feel like, should be a website that girls can go to and just be like, they call.

[KFC]

That Chat GPT, right?

[Jackie]

Yes.

[Steve]

But is it advice from other girls or is it advice from a computer?

[Jackie]

I think I want advice from other girls. I want to be, like, almost a Facebook group.

[KFC]

Why? I. I guess another question for. For maybe it be younger than you guys. Is it younger than you guys? Or is it you guys who, like, everyone like, talks to Chat GPT like a friend.

[Jackie]

No, it's.

[Steve]

It's our age.

[KFC]

It's your age. So, like, what is. What is the. I guess maybe you guys can answer or your friends have told you, like, why would you ask a computer a human question? Because how do I deal with this situation? It's a computer. It's not a person.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I know, but they. But they almost come at it with, like, an objective. Like, sometimes I'll be like, I have two. Like, you know when you're just standing too close to something that you're like, I don't even know what's. Like, I have too much stake in the game. And that comes at it from just, like, a new perspective almost where you're like, all right, you're kind of taking the emotions out of it.

[KFC]

Okay, I get that.

[Jackie]

You know, I mean.

[KFC]

Yeah, I understand that.

[Jackie]

Which.

[KFC]

How you should Like, a human should be able to take the emotions out of it and just think about it for a second.

[Jackie]

Well, yeah, but also, it's. I feel like with everybody, I kind of also feel like your mom is the only one who really cares about your problems. Like, I. I wanted to create. How should I respond?

[KFC]

All right. Freud. I just think, like, the only hot person ever.

[Jackie]

And we should be able to him. That's so true. Coming off the heels of that. But, like, how should I respond to your. To this boy.com came from, like, because I feel like I'm just, like, bothering my friends all the time. Like, you get. You get like three or four times being like, hey, how should I respond to this text before you. You start to become, like, kind of like a burden.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

On everybody.

[KFC]

I think three or four is awfully.

[Jackie]

No. Like, with the way that I would. It would be like, years helping, like, whatever.

[KFC]

What is wrong with you? You're like the most normal person, except when you just start thinking about yourself.

[Jackie]

I'm thinking about myself. I know. Well, I'm saying, like, with friends, like, sometimes, like, you would think that after a while, like, the training wheels would come off and they'd be able to, like.

[KFC]

But no.

[Jackie]

And I do that too. The training wheels. Just like, once you get attached to those training reels, you kind of realize, like, they can't come off. You're like, oh, he's actually been texting my friend this whole time. Like, she's been coming up with everything. So anyways, to avoid that, it's. How do I respond to this boy.com or chatgpt. But anyways, the point is also, it's like, when you. I feel like sometimes when I talk about my problems too many times to people, although my friends are the best ever and they're so nice. And at some point I'm like, you guys don't actually care and you don't have stake in the game the way that I have stake in the game or the way that my mom, like, actually cares. So to avoid. And then. But then when I tell my mom everything, then she worries about me and she's like, you know, are you okay? So then how should I respond this.

[KFC]

Boy.Com or Chad, what's an example of, like, a question you would ask? Like, what would the boy say that you have to. You go, well, I don't know how to reply to this.

[Jackie]

Seriously, Anything. It's like, hey, like, holy. I don't know. I, I. The. It's like, mostly, especially when it's like, Hanging out. It's like, what's the most chill way to approach this? It's seriously a mess up.

[KFC]

So you will ask. I'm guessing you ask chat GBT or your friends.

[Jackie]

I don't, I don't ask Chat GPT.

[KFC]

Like, how do I be chill? Well, just be like, just be like step one, don't ask that question.

[Jackie]

I. I'm trying to think. I haven't in a while. I haven't, like, I don't know. I don't know. I. I really truly haven't. I. Recently, I've just been like, I don't really give a. If he Stop. If he thinks I'm weird. I don't really give a anymore.

[KFC]

There you go.

[Jackie]

And that. But like, in college I would, I would seriously be like, what do I say? Like, how do I sound chill? Or like, how do I like, sound like I, you know, I don't know.

[KFC]

But if, like, if you're, if you're. And this isn't just to use anybody but like, if you're asking. Yeah. Like, you said it like, they're talking to your friends.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So you're making someone fall in love or in like, or whatever your goal is with your friend.

[Jackie]

Well, so then that happened.

[KFC]

So why don't you just be yourself?

[Jackie]

Yeah. Well, so that, that makes the. When I stopped is because this happened in high school where my best friend, I ran everything by her and this guy and then they had a class together and then they slowly started like getting more buddy, buddy. And then she. And then she kept being like, huh, he's basically texting me like, we're basically dating. And then, and then I was like, it was funny like the first time. All right, now it's kind of getting real. And now you're talking about like, like Matt. Oh, I should take that off.

[KFC]

Oh, yeah.

[Jackie]

Matt said this to me today. Like, Matt, like, like Matt said that I looked so cute today or whatever. And I was like, oh, that's kind of crazy of you to say that about the guy I'm talking to. And then they just started dating. They legitimately just came up to me one day and we're like, hey, so we're dating now. And I was like, cool. Yeah, I hope the best for you guys.

[KFC]

Gonna go get screamed at by my coach and soccer. I hope you guys enjoy it.

[Jackie]

That time period, I was just like.

[KFC]

My life, dude, feels like it' out here.

[Jackie]

You know? Yeah. Anyways, so, and so I want to create how do I talk to this boy.com to avoid more Situations like that.

[KFC]

How are you talking how to talk to this boy.com? just say talk like yourself.

[Jackie]

Yeah, well, so then I realized, like, all right, I'm going to have to, to stop, you know, relying on these backstopping friends. Help me out. So. Yeah, but now the goal is you.

[KFC]

Want him to like you, right? Yeah, but what's a pretty simple process.

[Jackie]

Like, what if, like, you know, I am not. Do you know what I mean? Like, now I get that now it's just like, I seriously have the mindset where it's just like, all right, take it or leave it. And like, yeah, if you want to leave it. Like, I get it.

[KFC]

And that's fair. Like, yeah, I get it. This is a little thing over here. So.

[Jackie]

But in the past, I would, I would be more self conscious of that.

[KFC]

I get that. Yeah, but you're old now.

[Jackie]

But.

[KFC]

Okay, first of all, luckily, you're getting nice and old.

[Jackie]

You're gonna have to settle at some point before your eggs fucking dry up. Anyways, I miss you, Matt. Do you think that loss made everyone hornier on planes? Like, I, I, somebody else is about to start talking on this episode.

[KFC]

No way. No way.

[Jackie]

I feel like I just shared like one.

[Steve]

I've never seen Lost. Are they having sex a lot?

[Jackie]

Never, no, but I feel like, I feel like it's like whenever I want to play, I'm like, all right, if this plane goes down, who am I gonna fuck first? But maybe not everyone thinks that way, but I always wondered, like, I think.

[Steve]

Airports in general are a horn corny place. I think there's like that, yeah, that, that joke of like, I saw like my, the love of my life, my airport in the airport for two seconds. I think that's definitely, I think also.

[KFC]

I don't know if it's law, like, guys get boners on planes a lot.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So there's just, it's just a. Yeah. Ladies. You might not even know, but you're on a plane. You are in a dangerous area. Everyone's like, boy, I am like, you're doing it. All the guys are doing it too. Like, if this plane goes down, who will I first? I'm ready. I'm ready.

[Jackie]

Well, it's got no, we're all on the same page, but yeah. Okay. So I guess, I guess for guys it's, it's always been there. But I just wonder if, like, the, you know, like your plane crush came from, from Lost originally, but maybe not. I also know, like, every, the altitude makes you more emotional.

[KFC]

Is that okay? So that's why you cry. That's why you get horny.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Maybe that's why air travel, which I actually don't think it is.

[Jackie]

It sounds like. It sounds like something that somebody came up. Like a Freudian thing where it's like we all get bricked up on planes.

[KFC]

Captain says, all right, we're all really hard right now.

[Jackie]

Trust me. You guys may not believe it, but scientifically.

[KFC]

I just had. The pilot just came over. Scientifically, one of the three people you're sitting next to have an erection right now. Everyone just starts paddling.

[Jackie]

That would be really funny.

[KFC]

Trust and believe.

[Jackie]

There. Oh, there should be an Instagram feature where if you post a story, automatically mutes it from anyone who you haven't texted back.

[Steve]

Great one, right? Great one. Because that, like the. When you want to go post something, that's your reminder of, like, answer those five people.

[KFC]

Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jackie]

And then sometimes like, all right, save the dinner that I just had until I text everyone back. And then it just becomes a chore and I'm just like, I'm just not. Good story. And I just never text anyone back.

[KFC]

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[Jackie]

There. There should. I'm. I don't. How was nobody figured out? Just like, is there some kind of magnet that you could just scan that fakes Apple Pay? Like, does Apple pay is actually going into your account at the moment and being like, yep, you have an account attached to this. Or if I just, like, figure out a magnet, whatever magnet is in here and just kind of like, scan that, can I cheat the system?

[KFC]

Credit card fraud.

[Jackie]

Credit card fraud. But.

[KFC]

But would be as Apple thought, I'll just use a magnet. How is this not your answer to what you do if you're homeless? Find a magnet and be the richest person alive.

[Jackie]

But then. But then I got to find the magnet. And like, I. Everyone's, like, known, like me as the crack person.

[Sass]

Jackie, I'm picturing you at the turnstile and stuff with like, a double A.

[Jackie]

Like, come on.

[KFC]

You're like magnet magnate. Probably where it comes from.

[Jackie]

It's just like one of those, like, fake, like, shoehorn magnets.

[KFC]

I read a book about a homeless guy in Boston called, like, I think it was called Another Bullshit Night in Suck City or something like that.

[Jackie]

It sounds like you know your dream ever since you were seven.

[KFC]

Really got that one slow. That really seems like your dream. But he said in the. In the. He was talking about how, like, homeless guys, they. They'll find, like, hotel room keys, anything like that, because that can get you into the atm, like, kiosk at a bank. Oh, and you can just sleep in there. So, like that, like. Because that magnet, I think, isn't charging your card. It's just making sure you're Putting a card in that, you can use any kind of card with a magnet to get into there. But I think if they're going to take money from you, they're. They're looking at a little more than just a magnet.

[Jackie]

I'm not sure, though. And they wouldn't tell us.

[KFC]

We'll write a letter to the homeless guy who wrote this book.

[Jackie]

I'm gonna.

[KFC]

Hey, just so you're aware, Jackie says that probably wouldn't work.

[Jackie]

No, but I'm saying, like, I don't think that. Also, like, in terms of credit card fraud, it's not attached to a credit card. I'm not fraudulating. Yeah, whatever. You know what I'm trying to say? But I'm not, like, fraud dang any credit cards. I'm just. Just using a little magnet, and I'm. And I'm. And I'm putting it over the scanner, and there's. There's nothing attached to my name. There's nothing attached to my number. You try and come find me.

[KFC]

I. Look, you might be right.

[Jackie]

I have no idea if this magnet exists.

[KFC]

I'm pretty sure.

[Steve]

99.9999. This. That cannot work. I mean, it knows immediately if there's no money in your accounts, you get declined with that.

[KFC]

Yeah, it wouldn't even say decline. It would like. This is a magnet.

[Jackie]

Yeah, this is a magnet.

[Steve]

One of my friends in college used a Venmo card at the bar every single night at the same bar that we would go to, and it had no money on it. And he's just like, it just keeps working. And then, like a week before we graduated, they, like, called and they're like, you're gonna have to come down here with X amount of dollars or the cops will show up at your apartment tonight. And he just came down there and.

[Jackie]

Paid it all off.

[Steve]

But for a full semester, he got free drinks until the end.

[KFC]

When. When I was in college, I might even been like. I was. I was that age. I might not have technically been in college anymore, but I didn't have any money. And those, like. Like the gift cards. Yeah, we're becoming popular. And. But they looked like. When they first, like, kind of came on the scene, they looked like, like, credit cards. They just look like regular credit cards. And I would go to bars with, like, $3 on a gift card, and I'd be like, open a tab and be like, drinks for all my friends. And I would just leave. I feel very scummy about it, but I did it.

[Jackie]

Did you ever get, like, caught?

[KFC]

No. I mean, I didn't do it like, 100 times. I did it five to 10 times.

[Jackie]

But I also feel like kind of.

[KFC]

I would always do it at. What is it It. What was Whiskey Priest in Southy? Oh, well, don't say bar one under. Can't imagine why.

[Jackie]

I feel like kind of the same way that you think, like, you can just charge it to a hotel room. I always feel like if I'm just like, put it on Derek's card. There's got to be somebody named D or John. Put it on John's card.

[KFC]

Put it on John. There's going to be a John there.

[Jackie]

There's going to be a John there. Justin. Believe this. New York, New York. Why don't they call it 99 like they call. Like they call La La Land. Like, you know, why have you never heard of Nai Nai? Yeah, I live in Nai Nai. Next one.

[KFC]

No, honestly, I want to hate it. And the more you say it, I'm like, well, it's not so bad, right?

[Jackie]

I think that you should direct a. You know how, like, La La Land is like, it's a love story, but it's also, like, kind of showcasing la. I think that you should direct La Land, but New York.

[Steve]

So almost, like, maybe put some mascots in.

[KFC]

I think BS might have done that.

[Steve]

Put Cookie Monster and Elmo in it.

[Jackie]

It's a good point.

[KFC]

You didn't think that.

[Jackie]

I didn't think that at all. Yeah. Wow.

[KFC]

I think pads, like, might have worked really hard on, like, the last year doing a show that's really, really simp.

[Jackie]

Shout out, mascots. Shout out. Trailer that just dropped.

[KFC]

Shout out. The trailer just dropped. You've probably seen it if you're listening to this. I. I hope there's a KFC radio fan who just hates masks. I. I just assume people who like KFC radio like mascots, but I. I think there's also the possibility that people don't like it.

[Jackie]

I don't think so. Have you. You guys should switch it to 9i9i9land.

[KFC]

Maybe. Maybe we'll have Marlin call it Nine Eye. Yeah, I'll say. I'll say this, Jackie, you've used a couple of lines that I've gone, let's have Marlon.

[Steve]

Not a compliment.

[KFC]

There have been a couple of times where we got to work when I was like, you know what Jackie was saying yesterday? Really funny.

[Jackie]

If Marlon said that, he just looked about. He's like, wait, the dark.

[KFC]

Just episode one is just Marlin. I don't Hear anything? Because I'm just thinking about myself. Jackie's just marlin.

[Jackie]

You know that cake is actually lasagna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's accurate. This is just like. Okay. You know, like anxiety. They kind of say, like. It's like, oh, when you were chasing bears, it, like, was. You know, or when bears were chasing you, it's like, to get rid of. Never mind. I don't really have. I don't really have. The thought is just like, I. It's like I feel like my anxiety when I'm talking to someone. I'm on this podcast. It's just like, I promise you, a bear is not in the room right now. Like, why am I anxious?

[KFC]

What is a bear thing?

[Jackie]

No, it's like, anxiety is supposed to happen because, like, when in hunting and gathering days, like a bear was supposed to come, or if a bear comes, then, like, your anxiety peaks so, you know, to run.

[KFC]

Okay.

[Jackie]

And it's. I mean, it's not like a deep thought, but just like this. To me, it's signaling in my brain as a bear. I promise you that's not a fair. Why can't I just tell my brain that? Where does the Big Apple come from? Why?

[Steve]

I don't know that the main, like, produce of New York is apples upstate.

[KFC]

Is that true?

[Steve]

I would. I'm gonna guess I'm happy that this is.

[KFC]

This is. This is kind of a separate etymology thing. We. We filmed the scene in Brooklyn the other day, and we were taking an Uber out there, and we drove by the Marcy Ave playground. Or the Marcy Playground stop. Or the Marcy Ave stop, which is where Jay Z's from.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And I did not know this. Do you know what two subway lines stopped there?

[Steve]

J and the Z.

[KFC]

The J and the Z.

[Steve]

No way.

[KFC]

And I was like, oh, I guess that's probably where it comes. I don't know.

[Steve]

But look. You didn't look it up?

[KFC]

I. I didn't look it up? No.

[Jackie]

Wow, that's really crazy. Wait, you should definitely look that up. Big Apple.

[KFC]

I texted Kevin about it. Kevin said his name was Jazzy. And there's also something where there's like, a connection to a mentor. Mentor of his or something like that. But then, yes, also the J and the Z lines.

[Steve]

Doesn'T really have a great answer. The big horse racing popularized as a name or New York City in a number of horse rating horse racing articles from the New York Morning Telegraph. If you're gonna call it the Big Apple, you gotta have a great. You gotta.

[Jackie]

Right like, not only. Not only, like, are you saying apple? You're, like, doubling down the Big Apple? It's, like, kind of, like, pretty small.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

For a state. I feel like every guy has a friend named Cheech or Gooch.

[Steve]

That's crazy. I have a Cheech and a Gooch.

[Jackie]

Dude, I'm.

[KFC]

I. I gotta teach in a Gooch. That's crazy.

[Jackie]

Do you guys have teaching Gucci.

[Steve]

Wow.

[KFC]

Act's like, no.

[Steve]

I got two Gucci and one Cheech.

[Jackie]

Two Guccis and one Cheech.

[Steve]

Two Gucci and a Cheech. Yeah, I.

[KFC]

Wait, wait, it's a Gooch. And is it Cheech or Chooch? Cheech. I have a Chooch.

[Jackie]

I'll count that.

[KFC]

Ch. Go. I don't think I have a Cheech.

[Jackie]

Also. Coochie.

[KFC]

Coochie.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I feel like I always, like, I got no coochie.

[Jackie]

You. You get no.

[KFC]

I got no.

[Jackie]

I know coochie. You know, actually, my friends and I all started calling him Gucci. He was like, can you please stop calling me that in front of my boys? Sorry. Yeah. Cheech. Cheech, cooch or coochie.

[Steve]

That's crazy.

[Jackie]

Football coach face is. There's a very specific, like, male face that looks similar to Eric Taylor. It's like the eyes are like. It almost looks like he has, like. Like a little bit of, like, white eyeliner or something. Or this.

[Steve]

There's eyebrows are dominant.

[Jackie]

I don't know exactly. It's almost just like his. It's like the George Bush face. Like George Bush. Something about his eyes. He is. George Bush has football coach face.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Anyways, I was. I was flirting with the hot dad with football coach face on. On a plane one day. Thanks.

[KFC]

Lost. Yeah, he was hard as.

[Steve]

I feel like every girl's dream is Coach Taylor.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I got. I have a buddy.

[Jackie]

Except I have a weird thing with coaches.

[KFC]

I have a buddy who looks just like Coach Taylor, but not like Kyle Chandler, just like Coach Taylor, which is very weird. I think it's because he wears, like, that style sunglass and wears, like, a football coach jacket a lot. Yeah, you know, like that. That blue jacket he's always wearing. Coach Taylor.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Yes.

[KFC]

I knew you were. I could see. I was like, she's not here right now.

[Jackie]

Sorry. Yeah, the blue. The one that you have, too?

[KFC]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I do have that jacket. Yeah. No, but you know what? I gave it to him.

[Jackie]

Oh, really?

[KFC]

I gave it to him. I was like, you look too much.

[Jackie]

Like, who are you talking about?

[KFC]

It's actually my godson's. Father.

[Jackie]

Okay. I kind of feel like Sam Martin looks like Eric Taylor.

[Steve]

Yeah. It's the same. Same genre.

[KFC]

Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. Young Coach Taylor.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

You know how he got the job?

[Jackie]

How?

[KFC]

Oh, just showed up hungover and didn't know anything about football.

[Steve]

Coach Taylor.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Really?

[KFC]

Or Kyle Chandler showed up to the audition hungover on a motorcycle. And him and Peter Berg were just like, let's go get beers. And they went and got beers. And then I think Kyle Chandler still says the only. The only prep he did for the book or only only prep he did for the role was he read Bill Belichick's book. That's all he knows about football.

[Steve]

Wow.

[KFC]

Which surprised me because I think he's from Georgia. Just seems like you would know.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I think he went to UGA too.

[Jackie]

Who do you think Coach Taylor's favorite was? Like, if you. If he were to. Like if everyone else were to. He could only save one life.

[KFC]

Tim.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I think so.

[KFC]

Right. I think Tim needed the most saving.

[Jackie]

I looked up on Chat JPT and it said, who's the paralyzed guy?

[KFC]

Jason Street.

[Jackie]

Jason street said Jason Street. And I was kind of like, I think he's more fond of Tim.

[KFC]

I still think. I think Tim needs more saving than even Jason street needed.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So everyone had like. I think Coach Taylor knew that everyone else had a support system and Tim didn't.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And he was like, I gotta care about this kid a lot. The scene when he brings back. What's the daughter's name? Julie. When he brings back Julie when she's shit faced.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Coach Taylor catches him and thinks he's like trying to bang her. Screams at him, tell him to get the out of the house.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And then finds out what actually happened and goes to apologize to him. Yeah. That apology be like. That's his favorite.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Oh my God. When the tornado happens and Tim like covers her. It's so hard. Wow.

[KFC]

As I say that the Saracen. When Saracen's dad dies and he throws the Saracen into the shower.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

He cares quite a bit about Saracen as well.

[Jackie]

Yeah. But there's like a little bit of like a lack of respect for Saracen. Like, I don't know, like.

[KFC]

What was that?

[Jackie]

What? Sorry. There's like snow.

[KFC]

I thought you were looking down the barrel of the camera. Like.

[Jackie]

I think Tim Riggins is the answer. That's. I mean I have. There's random ones, but shallots. Shallots look like ball sacks.

[KFC]

Shallots.

[Steve]

They do.

[Jackie]

That's in there.

[KFC]

Wait, they look like ball sacks or one ball.

[Jackie]

Ball sacks. Because there's like. There's two of them. Like, pull up a shallot. I mean, technically, like, it's.

[KFC]

I think that's more one ball.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I guess that's one ball. But, like, do you ever see, like, two shallots stuck together?

[KFC]

Yeah, I know. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. But yeah, it does look exactly like a testicle.

[Steve]

Wow.

[Jackie]

It's not even like a good picture of like, a double shallot, but double shout. Seriously, what the would nights do? Would knights do, like, in the sweltering heat?

[KFC]

What would nights do in the sweltering heat? Yeah, I imagine it'd be quite hot. But also, like, it's one of those things too, where I think, like. Like you don't really understand when you're looking at clothes from other cultures, like, how they're like. When I look at people from the Middle East, I'm like, oh, my God, that must be so hot. But, like, all that stuff is designed to have wind flow and stuff like that. It's not hot at all. It's like they're like linen sheets or drapes or whatever you call it. And I would imagine with chain mail and like, it was probably hot as. But they thought of it. They're like there was some kind of process of being like, well, it's gonna get hot as in here. So we have to use this material, I guess.

[Jackie]

But if you. If you give. Say that I have to put on a layer of chain mail and like a tin. I mean, you're essentially a baked potato.

[Steve]

It is a conductor.

[KFC]

You're wearing conductor. Yeah.

[Jackie]

And in. In a 100 degree. Feels like 100 degree day.

[Steve]

But weren't like knights were a nights mainly based out of.

[KFC]

Yeah. And like in the uk.

[Steve]

Yeah. So it's usually pretty chilly over there.

[Jackie]

Yeah. But it gets hot.

[KFC]

It does get hot.

[Steve]

I'm sure that they're all like, we're canceling the fight.

[KFC]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jackie]

Right.

[Steve]

One guy stepped outside. It feels like we're canceling.

[KFC]

That feels like we're not fighting. That was like. Like they would do it for holidays. They wouldn't fight, like, during Christmas.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like George Washington Cross in the Delaware was because it was Christmas and they knew the British should be sleeping cheap. And they're like, let's just go. Let's just break the rest.

[Steve]

I guess when you're fighting for freedom.

[KFC]

What was the one. I forget what war it was during Gulf War maybe where, like, they all stopped. It was because, like, Pele Was playing.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right.

[KFC]

Like, everyone stopped to just, like, to watch pay. That's unbelievable. That's crazy.

[Steve]

I think that we got. Pele is number one now. I didn't know that that was.

[KFC]

Can you. What. What. What war? It was the. Yeah, yeah. If you get. If you stop the war.

[Steve]

Stop the war.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

You.

[Steve]

You're the coolest.

[Jackie]

Would that happen now?

[KFC]

No.

[Jackie]

Civil war.

[Steve]

I don't think there's anybody.

[KFC]

It was Nigerian civil war. I thought it was a war we were involved in either way. Stop the war.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Not to bring up my soccer coach again. He. He was like. He was born in Bosnia, and he. There was, like, a genocide at the time, and he escaped. He, like, was trying to escape Bosnia and was, like, making it out with his family. And then at one point, like, I don't know much about the Bosnian war, but whoever was, like, the equivalent of the Nazis or whatever at the time had, like, stop. Like, found him and his family trying to run and then had them all lined up against, like, to shoot them and kill them. And then, like. But was going through their stuff and, like, found the guy who's gonna shoot them. Found that he, like, actually had gone to college with the dad. His. My soccer coach's dad or something like this. Again, I don't know the exact story, but it was along the lines of this. And then was like, I would never do this, but you guys can run. And then. But, like, kept the parents there and let the kids run. And so then him and his sister fled to America, and then he raised his sister for, like, two years before the parents could come meet him? Isn't that crazy?

[KFC]

Really?

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Isn't it crazy that a guy who had so much valid hate in his heart didn't have any until he met you? He seriously was.

[Jackie]

That's why he was, like. He seriously was, like, the nicest guy ever.

[Steve]

Took it all out.

[KFC]

He's been through so much, and he's kept it all in. And then you couldn't make a crossfield pass.

[Jackie]

It's like, this is what pisses you off on the genocide. Yeah. So you can imagine why I was kind of like, oh, do I suck?

[KFC]

Just. Anyways, just bottled it all up until one day it's, girl, get me one pass.

[Jackie]

Well, thank you for bringing up that point.

[KFC]

You are worse than the Bosnian genocide.

[Jackie]

I wish they killed me back then.

[KFC]

Oh, God, that's funny.

[Jackie]

Yeah. All right. Is it funny?

[Steve]

I thought it was funny. I thought you fire today?

[Jackie]

Yeah, I Don't think you missed.

[KFC]

This is a Jackie highlight reel episode.

[Jackie]

Steve. Cut all of it.

[Sass]

I'm definitely making a clip where it's literally just everything you say.

[KFC]

The response is just every question you ask.

[Jackie]

Does anybody. What else?

[Steve]

I got a question for you guys. What job do you think you'd be worst at?

[KFC]

Oh, good question. Anything? I was gonna say anything that aggravates a gag reflex. I was thinking more aroma, but I suppose it could be, you know, everything I want to do since I was seven.

[Jackie]

My dream date.

[KFC]

Yeah, Anything where, like, I would. Anything that would make me, like, I'm. I'm like.

[Jackie]

To do a prostitute?

[KFC]

No, no. I. I was thinking. God, no, I was.

[Jackie]

But, like, if you have a bad guy, I guess that's good. You don't. You. You can have a gag reflex.

[Steve]

You're talking about smelling anything.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Oh, sorry.

[KFC]

No, I was Internet Explorer. As I was thinking, I was like, damn. Well, this is. But, yes, I would have. I would have said something like clean in sewers or anything, like, in plumbing. But also, like. I mean, you get used to everything. Yeah. Like, so. Yeah, I get used to eventually. Probably ever missed out on concert tickets because of bots? World ID lets you easily and privately.

[Steve]

Verify you are not a bot and.

[KFC]

Access things only humans should, like events, dating apps, and video games. It's a digital identity that anonymously proves you're a unique human online, creating a.

[Steve]

Priority lane for humans in the age of AI. Join the millions of others.

[KFC]

If you're human and you know it, get your free world [e-mail] I would.

[Jackie]

Say anything where you have to use your brain heavily, probably. I actually.

[Steve]

Tommy landed here.

[KFC]

That's how all of us got here.

[Jackie]

I took a linguistics class in college, and I actually did the best in the class, and my teacher was kind of like, you're kind of crushing this. And I was like, so is linguistics my calling?

[KFC]

I can see that.

[Jackie]

Really?

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Thanks. Yeah, I don't. I don't know what to do with that information, but if this doesn't go down, I guess I'll get into linguistics.

[KFC]

Have you ever seen Arrival?

[Jackie]

No.

[KFC]

Awesome movie.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Great movie about linguistics.

[Jackie]

Yeah, it's kind of like coding, honestly.

[KFC]

Yeah. Yeah, I can see why you're good at that.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Okay, we done?

[Jackie]

What would you guys say for job.

[Steve]

Your worst at club?

[KFC]

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah.

[Steve]

Club promoter. I'd be the worst in the world.

[KFC]

Club promoter.

[Steve]

Having to, like, convince people to do.

[Jackie]

To.

[Steve]

To go somewhere or to do something. Like, you can come if you want. Yeah, it's optional for sure. When. But that's my main job is to make sure I'm getting asked. Glasses and seats somewhere. No way.

[KFC]

That would be.

[Steve]

Yeah, terrible. And then you got.

[KFC]

You can. You can just. Just look at KFC radio live shows.

[Jackie]

Literally had to post like three times and you're like, I can't.

[KFC]

I'm done doing. I do not care. Like, it was like, again, like leaving.

[Jackie]

Money on the table.

[KFC]

Just like, I don't care. I. I would rather not have people there than have to tweet, which is so weird and so insane. But.

[Steve]

And like, my biggest thing is like, Like, I will never. When I know something's going to be a mediocre time, but I want people to come. I'll never be like, it's going to be a blast. Like, it's probably going to be all right. You'll have a five out of ten good time.

[KFC]

But I'd rather have them not come. I don't want anyone there who doesn't want to be there. Like, oh, if you want to come, come. If you don't want to come, don't come. Yeah, that's what I would say. As a club.

[Steve]

You'Ll have an okay time.

[Jackie]

Yeah. It's kind of like if, if like I'm going out with friends and they're like, like, jacket decided on bar. I'm like, well, I don't to worse. I don't wanna. Or like, should we go out tonight? Should we not go out tonight? They're like, decide, I don't want to be responsible for your bad night. And I don't want that smoke on me. So like, I, I. Yeah, that's.

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jackie]

I get that. I wouldn't be the worst.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

What would you guys say?

[KFC]

Probably like a cab driver.

[Steve]

I'm bad at small talk and don't.

[Jackie]

Have my license, so it's probably a pretty bad one. I love all the Steven.

[KFC]

Probably a cab driver.

[Jackie]

You don't have to. I think like, that's kind of the whole point. It's like if you're a cab driver in California, like, you'd probably have to small talk. Okay. The license is obviously, like gonna be an issue. The small talk, you, you also are.

[Steve]

You're great at.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steve]

We small talk every morning.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Steve]

What?

[Jackie]

I feel like I've had so many lovely conversations with you, Steve. Yeah. And what would you say?

[Sass]

Like, most of them.

[KFC]

Yeah, that's a very fair answer.

[Sass]

Almost all of them. Everyone I think of, I'm like, that could be an answer that could be anything where I'm like, man, any of those, like, jobs you hear about that business students do that just sound fake. Like, I don't understand anything. Like, what the hell is, like, any finance job? I don't know the difference between.

[KFC]

They're all just as fake as this job.

[Sass]

But this job. This job feels like. Like it's fake in that. It's like kind of like easy or whatever. Like easy. But those are fake in that. Like, I don't feel like you're. I don't understand what you're doing. Like, I know what I'm doing all day. It might be, like, feel fake or whatever.

[KFC]

There's like five jobs. Every other job I know.

[Jackie]

Yeah. But with. With like, banking, all that stuff, it's like, I don't need.

[Sass]

We don't need all of you.

[KFC]

Like, yeah, no, we don't. That's the point.

[Sass]

Why do you people have to work from 5am to 10pm Are you sure the stock market can't just close? Are you sure we can't just, like, go to bed?

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

And like, I get that. It's like you're. You're loaning money. I get the pr, but, like, what?

[Sass]

I guess that was stupid. I guess the stock market does close, doesn't it?

[KFC]

And then every day.

[Steve]

Wait, name. Name the five real jobs. I think I. I think I got.

[KFC]

Five real jobs would be president, doctor, cop, lawyer, construction worker.

[Steve]

I was gonna go garbage man, but. But they kind of fall into the same.

[KFC]

So with the five real jobs, then there are other offshoots of that, like cop. That I'm. I'm counting soldier. I'm counting, like, firefighter. Firefighter. But like, that you're essentially a cop.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And then president is like, yay, there's politician, whatever. But if you don't have one of those five jobs, you don't have a real job.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Because society will be fine without you.

[Jackie]

Yeah. I also was going through.

[KFC]

I guess, honestly, I just said, society fine without you. I guess I would include artists.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Because society wouldn't be fine without you if, like, you didn't have musicians and fucking movies.

[Sass]

Artists are more important than investment bankers.

[KFC]

I agree with that wholeheartedly.

[Sass]

I don't know how to back that.

[Jackie]

Up, but I know it's true. Yeah. I also was going through old clips the other day and noted that one of the things, one of your promises is that nobody's ever gonna see your butthole. You said that right there. So I don't know if, like, I feel like, really recently you've been.

[KFC]

I. I get. Yeah, I get dressed very daintily. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

[Steve]

I'm gonna read this list one day. Like, to, like, a big group of people. If we're, like, celebrating you or at your funeral one day, do I have permission to get up onto the microphone idea?

[KFC]

And you have to. You have to say how many of those I. I succeeded on. Yeah.

[Steve]

So far, I mean, have we broken any? Oh, well, yeah. We got close to the tornado.

[KFC]

The tornado. The tornado was one time where I was going, man, I got to stop making these promises.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I was pretty sure we were dying in that tornado.

[Jackie]

I kind of feel like you're, like, plowing your way through this list.

[Steve]

Never be homeless.

[Jackie]

Hide that.

[Steve]

Never get horny in a rage room.

[KFC]

Yeah, no, I'll never go horny in a rage room.

[Steve]

Never let anyone see your butthole one.

[Jackie]

Like, for any guys. Like, guys, actually, dude, what if we.

[KFC]

Like, I. The only pro. The only way I can keep that promise is if we never go to a rage. Like, if we're in a rage room for an hour, statistically, I'm probably gonna get horny.

[Jackie]

Why did that come out? Because, like, you're. People say that rage is horny.

[KFC]

I have no idea where that came from. I don't know why I would say something like that. That's most things I say. Yeah. Okay. Una, do you have a list?

[Sass]

I mean, everything I have from the last, like, 24 hours literally pales in comparison to everything Jackie said. Like, there was an influencer who. Who's been swimming a bunch in this beach in. In Cape Town in South Africa, and she. She posts it, and she's like, my favorite beach. And it just wasn't getting traction. So no one was, like, seeing it and saying what was wrong with it. She's like, I don't know why it says not to swim here. She's just swimming. Like, in Cape Town, there's just a beach where they just put out all the. And she swims and posts videos of her, like, coming out of the water with, like, foam on her face. And it's, like, literally, like, feces and stuff. So that's. Can you look it up? I just. You just have to. The visual makes it.

[Jackie]

Is it true that, like, the. The sea foam is, like, whale sperm?

[KFC]

No chance. Maybe. Maybe. But that's a lot of stuff. That certainly sounds like something.

[Jackie]

I think it's, like, from stuff. Whales for.

[Sass]

No, I don't think the New York Times, but. Oh, I Actually have an influencer put. Influencer.

[KFC]

I just saw whatever you just clicked. Brought up a picture. Rfk. What is Maha?

[Sass]

M A h. Make America healthy again.

[KFC]

Make America healthy again. Okay. I assumed it was.

[Sass]

And, like, she has so many videos like this where she's like, a beautiful day, and she's just been posting it and no one knew until it blew up. And now everyone's like, that's.

[Steve]

That is disgusting.

[Sass]

And you see, like, there's other angles I've seen where there's, like, these. These huge.

[KFC]

Oh, goodness gracious me.

[Sass]

There's these huge pipes just, like, shooting the water out. Like, it's aggressive.

[Jackie]

Oh, my God.

[KFC]

That's the job I'd be worse at.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Swimming Influencer. Swimming. Swimming in feces. Feces. All right. Any Eltuna?

[Jackie]

No.

[Sass]

Joey Chestnut on Barstool After Dark. I'm pissed. He wasn't on KFC to do the hot dog race first.

[KFC]

He. Well, he did it with Marty. He. Marty B. He beat Marty, so. Actually, that is a good. Quite a good thing to bring up. I have flipped my answer. I've always said it was Joey Chestnut would beat Usain Bolt.

[Sass]

I know.

[KFC]

He. Chestnut beat Marty.

[Jackie]

Oh, yeah.

[KFC]

But Marty was close enough that I went, you know what? I think Usain Bolt would race.

[Sass]

I'm so glad you came around.

[KFC]

Are they. Were they at the game doing this?

[Jackie]

I think it was, like, a cre.

[KFC]

Those, like, bleachers across the street. Oh, okay. That makes a lot more sense. I remember seeing clips. I was like, are they just in the crowd puking all over the place?

[Sass]

Joey Chestnut was pissed about the puking. Did you guys see.

[KFC]

Really?

[Sass]

He said it was. He said puking during a drinking and eating contest represented the downfall of America. Talking about that event. He was. This is the downfall of America.

[KFC]

I could. I guess I can see Joey. That's the point of drinking. An eating contest.

[Sass]

I know. I'm like. I'm like, you. You think that's all classy? Like, drinking contest. He had 20 beers, which I guess. I don't know. I didn't picture Joey Chestnut as one that could put down drinks, too.

[KFC]

Oh, no, of course he can.

[Sass]

I did it.

[KFC]

I didn't picture Joey Chestnut as a mass consumer.

[Sass]

I thought he had one lane.

[KFC]

All right, that's it. That's the episode. We'll be back on Monday. Joseph, how'd we do? You an amazing, amazing, great time. Thank you very much.