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KFC
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Nikki Smokes
You want to hear my content idea? Barstool baby. Me and Annika have a baby, but. But we don't raise it. The office raises.
Danny Conrad
That's much better.
Feidelberg
A communal baby in honor of my grandfather.
Danny Conrad
Foreign.
KFC
Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We are live in Chicago and we got the boy Danny Conrad in the building.
Danny Conrad
Thank you guys for having me. Danny Conrad. Danny smokes. I go by either.
KFC
I feel like it's. This is this year is going to be your coming out party, bro.
Danny Conrad
I hope it's been a good year so far. Coincidentally a contract year, so that's cool too.
Feidelberg
Lucky.
KFC
You know, just funny how that seems to always happen, huh?
Danny Conrad
But I'm happy to finally be on here first ever podcast I started listening to one of the first things I ever listened to at Barstool. It's been a long time coming.
KFC
Listen, flattery goes a long way with me, and you've been very, very nice when we've DMed and messaged and you've always been like, that's what I got into Barstool, like the original podcast, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, would you like to come on the show?
Danny Conrad
Sure, yeah. Yeah.
KFC
I mean, I also, you know, just figured we would start this love story. Now. Jackie. Jackie's behind the glass doing her producer thing. I told Jackie when Beach House first started, I said, you are a grown adult woman. You can do whatever you want, make whatever decisions you want, but I highly, highly recommend you don't fuck any of these guys. And then Danny Conrad joined, joined the cast. And I said, you know what? If it means anything, you have my blessing in that one.
Danny Conrad
I do feel like I'm meeting the parents right now, but no, I was.
KFC
My two dads.
Danny Conrad
I was genuinely concerned. The dozen had a live kiss cam yesterday. I wanted to make sure they didn't get us, bro. That she always said, like, our first kiss should be special.
Feidelberg
Not for you're, you're a kiss cam guy too.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. Oh, are you saying this because of out of Order?
Feidelberg
I, I, I saw that. I told Kevin. I was like, he still has one of my favorite undone sketches of out of Order.
KFC
You guys got it.
Feidelberg
You guys have two of my favorites, the TSA one and that one.
Danny Conrad
Oh, yeah, yeah.
KFC
But so explain the, the kiss cam.
Danny Conrad
Well, I had an idea for a sketch where it was the, the kiss Cam, but it was basically the Foul ball guy with the kiss cam. So he tries running to every spot in order to be able to kiss a girl.
Feidelberg
A kiss hawk.
Danny Conrad
Yes, exactly.
KFC
I mean that the kiss cam video yesterday at the live dozen, as the kids would say, was Riz. That was Riz.
Jackie
That was Riz. Yeah.
KFC
You were smitten.
Jackie
It was risen.
KFC
You were laughing.
Nikki Smokes
You were.
KFC
And then with the glasses, that's what made it endearing. You know when you guys are live, when you. When you're on the beach house show and everyone's watching and you know, you do something like smooth like that, but then you do something goofy like you can't get your glasses on, all of America goes, oh, he's cool, but he's sweet.
Danny Conrad
I will say I. I handled it pretty well. That really hurt my eye.
KFC
But you were. Oh, look, she doing it again. She's giggling, she's laughing. So I decided I will officiate the wedding.
Feidelberg
Okay.
Danny Conrad
Thank you. Is that fine with you, Jackie?
KFC
That's fine with Melberg will be the maid of honor.
Feidelberg
Finally wear that dress.
Jackie
It was our first time meeting yesterday.
Danny Conrad
It really was.
Jackie
He's lovely.
KFC
What do you. So what do you think about the beach house? Kind of heard everybody's like angle and thoughts, but I haven't heard from you yet.
Danny Conrad
It's hard to visualize what it's going to be like because like no other reality shows have been filmed like this before.
KFC
If it was like every other Pioneers bro, right.
Danny Conrad
I'd be like, okay, I get it. There's going to be confessionals, little narration, some flashbacks.
KFC
They're not doing any of that.
Danny Conrad
Well, that's what they're saying. Like it's gotta do that.
KFC
That was. There was no cameras, but people would be following you around with phones and that would make it unique. But like if you don't have like a hey, come in here and explain to me what was going on during that night or something, like you kind of need that to story time. Or maybe not. Maybe it's gonna be like a true. Like when they do Big Brother, they. They still do the confessionals and. Right.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. I believe.
KFC
Yeah. Like you need that.
Feidelberg
I. I have the utmost respect. Not respect, but faith in. I think this is a Dave production.
KFC
Yeah.
Feidelberg
I'm sure he's checked all the boxes. As I've heard it. I'm like, I don't understand this.
KFC
Yeah.
Feidelberg
Like the.
KFC
Unless.
Feidelberg
Not that I don't understand it. I don't think there will be fireworks. That's my. That's my.
KFC
I go back and forth on this. I think a lot of people are, I don't think there's enough true crazies on there. I think there will be fireworks with Nikki and Annika because it's just like you throw X's in a situation with drinking and I think it'll be fun, to be clear.
Feidelberg
I think it'll be fun, but I.
KFC
Think it'll be drama. I think that's famous last words. I think there's a 50 chance you're right and a 50 chance you're miserably wrong.
Feidelberg
Yeah, of course. But the, the way, unless again, I, I, I'm not involved in these conversations or anything like that, so I have no idea what the plan is. But like unless you cause drama, I don't know that you guys are just. Because I don't know, you guys all.
KFC
Seem like these things like, like I, I'm just thinking back to my own experiences which were not reality shows. They were just like us living in a house. There was always some drama. There was always like, oh, this guy. I remember one guy slept a girl on somebody's bed and the couple whose bed it was was like, why are you sleeping on our bed? Another thing was like, who gets this room? And like this person's too cheap. Like there's just always that happened in real life. And I would imagine with some cameras and some, a little bit of bad blood here and there. And then at some point some people will be like, I don't know, Danny's in a contract year. People like, I gotta make some noise here. I gotta do some things, you know?
Feidelberg
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
You guys also don't know the ones from Chicago that well because they're kind of hired last year. But Annika and Ella like they could cause some problems not even trying really. Like I've seen them kind of snap at each other off camera here. So I think you're, they're 24 year old girls, you know, that's what I mean.
KFC
You get a bunch of young people and some booze in the mix.
Feidelberg
Like, but even those examples you gave, that's just money. And though you guys don't have to worry about that.
KFC
Yeah, well, but the sex thing was a little more like why put on her bed?
Feidelberg
But like I guess I'm, everyone's gonna have their own bed. Yeah, like they're, I, I, I'm not.
KFC
And you're not. And you're not really. Yeah, you're not. Like I remember there was always a guy who showed up with like a 30 rack and it was like, thank You. But we all paid like 1500 bucks.
Feidelberg
Yes.
KFC
And you just fit like, 39.99. That's not gonna do it.
Feidelberg
I goes, I'll. This is one of my favorite summers ever. Like, our. Our. One of our good friends came down for opening weekend and was like, it was the first time we'd ever gotten a share house. And he's like, this is unbelievable. Like, I should have come in on this, but you should have, you idiot. And he goes, you know, he stayed for the weekend. He's like, you know, you got one friend who's just so much fun. You're like, I'll finance him.
KFC
Yeah, as long as he'll bankroll.
Nikki Smokes
Right?
Feidelberg
Like, I know.
KFC
Son of a bitch.
Feidelberg
But like, he's so much fun. He's got to be here. So at the end of the weekend, he was like, would you guys mind if I stayed? Like, I'll get groceries. And we were like, if you get groceries for the summer done for sure you can stay. And he went home that day and he robbed his. Like, he's not robbed his parents, but he just rifled through his parents cupboards.
KFC
And he came, brought like, stray.
Feidelberg
Like, half a sleeve of Bubba cheeseburgers, like some Popeyes.
KFC
That doesn't count, bro.
Feidelberg
That was the only time he went.
KFC
Grocery shopping all summer.
Feidelberg
And I still have no regrets about it. Because he's that much fun.
KFC
Yeah, it depends on who you are, you know, that's why, I mean, like, Mike Katic made that video being like, I will not do any drama. Rowan called him out kind of being like, well, why are you doing this? But there's also, you know, you need room for, like, the lovable guy. Like, everybody kind of plays the role. It's just, you do need a villain. You do need some mess. And that. I don't think we. Has revealed itself yet.
Danny Conrad
Right. I'm like, I'm sure when they interviewed the Jersey Shorecast ahead of time, they were all like, I'm the fun guy at the party. You know, I'm good vibes. You know, no one's going to be like, I'm going to start. Besides, Danny Smokes, he was kind of wilding out. But, yeah, there. There comes a time where, like, you can't. Like a certain age where, like, you have to have actual currency. Like, I'm not going to help you move for a pizza.
Feidelberg
Right, right, right.
Danny Conrad
You know what? What pisses me off the most is people are like, oh, you order the Uber, I'll buy the first round. But then it's like, well, I'm. I'm buying a second round. Then you have to buy two beers.
Feidelberg
That's a good point.
KFC
It's so funny you brought the moving. That was one of my early, early, early blogs. Probably like, 09, I remember. And these were my favorite type of blogs to write because they were even more so valuable now. But back then, they were valuable too, when it's like your own personal story. So it's like, no one else on the Internet's gonna have this. And my buddy made a Facebook group.
Feidelberg
I remember this.
KFC
And he said he needed to help moving. And he goes, it was something along the lines. I can't remember it, but it was like, phase one, move from my mom's house. We're gonna pack up my stuff at my mom's house and go to Brooklyn. And we're. Then we're gonna stop for phase two and go to, like, Chris's house and pick up his stuff. Phase three, we're going to Philly.
Danny Conrad
What's going on here?
KFC
And. And in the. And the, like, the bottom of the Facebook group was like, we'll get pizza and, And. And beer.
Danny Conrad
Oh, give me.
KFC
And at that point, I was 25, probably right on the border of, like, we still did do stuff just for free or for pizza and beer. And I remember blogging. If you're like, I didn't even. I never even addressed them. They all read it on the blog for the first time. I was like, who the fuck do my friends think they are? And they got a big kick out of it. But it was like, I think that was like, the last time anybody ever tried to pull that bullshit.
Feidelberg
That was a fun thing. When it was like, I'll handle this on the Internet.
KFC
Everyone else is talking. I'm like, I reserve my. My words will happen in about 45 minutes when this blog goes up, buddy.
Feidelberg
But.
KFC
But they'll be.
Jackie
You know, I could also see a world in which, because Chicago, people have to, like, fly every weekend.
KFC
Well, okay, that's another hiring. Like, that they were. So I was talking to Nikki and. And Annika yesterday, and their plan, as of now is to fly back and forth for five straight weeks. Why is there a rule that you just can't stay at the house?
Danny Conrad
I was interested to see if, like, that's almost another wrinkle, because I'm being told, like, I'm. I'm coming back Monday ready to report on the yak. I don't know if, Jackie, you've been told that about here, but it's also.
KFC
Just Very different for her. Like, she can get home in like, an hour.
Danny Conrad
Yeah, true. I didn't even think about that.
KFC
You have to get on a plane.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. And then it's like an hour drive from the airport.
KFC
Right, right. Also, I don't know. You know, the act will do their own thing, but I don't know if they know this. Like, you can. You can, like, call.
Nikki Smokes
You can.
KFC
You can use a computer. There are ways to connect via over multiple states.
Danny Conrad
Now, they didn't tell me to do it. I was just told by whoever's running this.
Feidelberg
As it stands now, the plan is you come, you'd fly out Thursday.
Danny Conrad
Is it Thursday?
KFC
I would think Thursday to Sunday.
Feidelberg
If I had to guess, you'd be the Thursday night. And you'd leave Monday morning to come back. Oh, no, you'd come back. You'd come back Sunday night.
Danny Conrad
My thing was, like, in Jersey Shore, family dinners are a big thing on Sunday nights. Or we leave in Sunday. I think Sunday night.
Feidelberg
If you're trying to do, like, a real shorthouse experience, Sunday is the most important day.
KFC
Sundays were like, dude, there is nothing better then Sunday afternoon. You're like, let's go get, like, lunch and a couple beers before we hit the train or whatever it is. And then, like, one by one, people make decisions like, I'll get the morning train.
Feidelberg
Yeah, yeah.
KFC
I'm taking off of work. I'm calling in sick. And all of a sudden you go from like, one guy who had a vacation who was off, I'll join you. I'll call out. Also, you have like, four guys, and you're like, let's go. That you have to have that. Sundays are like, especially. You'll learn this. You guys will both learn this at the Jersey Shore. Like, Sundays at the Parker House. And some of these bars are like, that's the day.
Feidelberg
Yeah, Sunday night is. Yeah, that's the night.
Danny Conrad
I'm at a phase in life where I think, like, Sunday could end up being my biggest drinking day.
Feidelberg
Totally.
Danny Conrad
Shampoo effect. I'm 32.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
Feidelberg
I hit that phase right around.
KFC
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
It's like, I'm not gonna go hard on Saturday. But then Sunday comes around. Shampoo effect.
KFC
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
Next thing you know, you're on the Floor DJs.
Feidelberg
Like, you wake up with a headache on a Sunday. One beer will take care of this.
KFC
And then, you know, I feel 10 beers twinkle in your eye. The mischief starts cooking and you're just slap happy. I remember that we were in one of the best beach bars ever in Montauk. Sloppy Tuna was. It's like, really the only true beach bar in Montauk. At least when I was still doing it, right on the. On the water, on the beach. And like, it was a. It was a bar wide. Like my crew. Everything I just explained about, like, I'll stay, I'll stay. But then like this, like, you know, random friends you made at the bar, like, we're gonna stay too. And like, all of a sudden, the whole bar decided. And it was like a moment in my life where I was like. It like restored my faith in humanity. I was like, you know, there are.
Danny Conrad
Still good people out here for a common cause.
KFC
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Feidelberg
Like, snow days bring the same vibe.
KFC
Yeah.
Feidelberg
Get a bar, like, as it's starting to snow, grab a beer. Starting to come down pretty hard out there. Yeah, Right. Next thing you know, it's like we're.
Danny Conrad
All on the same level, and it's.
Feidelberg
The highest 6 inches of snow outside anything where you can fight something like, anything like that that brings together a camaraderie environment would be it. The weather, like, be it work Monday, like, when you're like, you know, fuck.
KFC
It, we're doing it.
Feidelberg
The man. Be the man. My boss or be the man. Fucking Mother Nature. Fuck the man.
KFC
We had a good run.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. I'm not gonna be another casualty of society.
KFC
We had a good run in like 2012. Ish. Whenever that was with Hurricane Sandy and Hurricane Ida or Iris or something that we had a bunch of hurricane days. Irene, Irene, Irene. We. We, like. It was so weird. I remember, like, Sandy, we were. I was on the Upper east side. That was like, in one of the safe zones everyone got rid of out of the flood zones. And it was raining hard and. But we, like, had a great time and a good, like, hurricane party. And I remember being like, Hurricane Sandy was a bust. That was nothing because we were like 60 stories up in a Manhattan high rise. And then meanwhile, like, Brooklyn and Queens is, like, washed away. And I was like, maybe. Maybe it wasn't a bust. But. But yeah, those. Those moments are where it's at that. That's where even. Even if it's not drama, if there's a moment like that, that'll be good. That'll be good theory, you know?
Danny Conrad
Like, I think so. We haven't had, like, an official meeting yet. I'm sure we'll learn everything there. But, like, what I was hearing is basically social clips only. And then it's always live. I don't really know what that means.
Jackie
But I'm thinking They're testing out cameras today in the, like, there's going to be mounted cameras.
KFC
Okay. That's this. That could be like revolutionary in a sense of like, I think what has become so popular on the Internet now. It's like, how many podcasts do you like that you don't really listen to because you watch through clips, you know?
Danny Conrad
Right.
KFC
How many like vlogs or characters do you know? But you don't really like watch their whole thing. You just see these clips. If there's a way to like make that the whole show.
Danny Conrad
Mm.
KFC
That could be. I don't know because it's like it's usually 15 second clips or 60 second clips, not like an hour or whatever. But if there's a way to make that work, it could be revolutionary in that, like, we've never seen that done before. It also feels like, like by week one and a half, two, you like kind of forget. You know what I mean? Yeah. If there's not somebody with a camera in front of you and like, you know, you think you're in a private room to have a private conversation or do some other shit and there's a fucking camera up there, you know, that's.
Danny Conrad
When I didn't know about the cameras being mounted because before I was thinking, well, if it's just clips, that almost means everything that post is posted has to be clipworthy, you know?
KFC
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
Then it's like, what if. What if the day before a. A girl calls another girl a. And they. They just laugh it off. It's not a big deal, so it's not clipworthy. And the following day the girls get drunk and she brings up the fact that she called her, but that didn't.
Nikki Smokes
We doing like.
Danny Conrad
We doing like phone clip flashbacks, you know, like that. But.
KFC
Well, that's right. They definitely probably going to be a. For the social. Yeah, that sounds really, really hard. But the. I remember when, you know, Summer House is obviously kind of like the most popular version of this. They. Their show's been on forever. But I feel like everybody was in agreement that the early seasons where they were actually working yuppies who like, they would commute in on Thursday or whatever, then they would go back to their jobs and they would even have like a flashback of them at their work. And. And it was like, oh, these are like us like regular people doing this. So I almost think you need a little bit of that. But coming commuting from Chicago is insane.
Feidelberg
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
I don't know. I don't know whose idea that was, but.
KFC
Or Just come to the New York. You know what I mean? Like that just seems unnecessary.
Danny Conrad
But I didn't think about till now that obviously you guys only have. How long is the commute from New.
KFC
York to maybe like if you hop on a train it's probably an hour to get to Manhattan.
Danny Conrad
Damn.
Jackie
I think, I think it's like two and a half hours.
KFC
It's not, it's not. No, not really. I mean it's exit nine. It's really not that it's not two and a half.
Danny Conrad
I might need a place to stay.
KFC
I mean if you're, if you're driving there could be traffic. But like if you hop on the train it's that. That was also my, used to be my favorite shit. Get on the New Jersey transit if you're doing your guys spot Mana squad or the Long Island Railroad. To go to Montauk was almost equally as fun. Yeah, I used to get a black plastic bag and we, I would get, I don't know, anywhere between like 4 and 10 tall boys and I would just throw. Penn Station just had like a cooler almost with ice and you would just grab your tall boys but I would also just throw a bunch of ice in the bag. It's a four hour train ride and by the end it was just a bag of water. I mean I just think back, I'm like I. There was probably someone who's just commuting home sitting next to me being like this guy, he's like getting water on me and he's clearly faced and I.
Feidelberg
Always think about that checking into hotels that like just cuz like hockey tournaments when you were a kid you play like knee hockey in the hallways.
KFC
You're running up and down the, the hallways, you're doing the elevators, all that.
Feidelberg
Like if I had a group of rambunctious, rambunctious 12 year olds playing mini hockey, I would call the police. It's funny how quick you do become.
KFC
That like there's, there's someone firing fireworks, get rid of them.
Feidelberg
Like dude, the way we used to play, like we'd be throwing each other.
KFC
Into doors, jumping on the beds and all that sort of.
Feidelberg
There was a hotel fairly recently, probably in the last year. I was in like need of mass and I was staying in the hotel and there were a bunch of hockey bags like kids checking in and I was like these kids don't know. I'll either call the cops or I'll come out and I'll play. I'm a man, I'm 40 and when I'm out there playing. You go, wish I called the cops.
Danny Conrad
If I win, you all go to bed or jail.
KFC
But, yeah, I, I think it's actually, I think it's gonna be cool. I think. I also think I, I think it's gonna be one of two. I think it's either gonna be very much inside the barstool bubble, or this might get outside of it and you might have people who, like, don't even know you guys and don't know us and, like, pick it up. Kind of like surviving did.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. I feel like a lot of the reality shows do that. There's like, my siblings won't really watch anything barstool, but then they're like, yo, when's the next, like, reality show get a challenge?
KFC
Going to get a. Is there, Is there any winning of it? It's just live. There's no prize. There's no, like, we're just.
Jackie
Everyone always jokes. They're like lines. I don't even know what that means.
KFC
The prizes, Jackie.
Danny Conrad
I was gonna say that, but I want to come on too strong. Yeah. There's only one big prize. I know. I'm. You guys were saying, I think everyone has their own bed. I think I'm on the couch since I'm a late ad.
KFC
I think you and Una are both.
Jackie
Like, I think I'm splitting a room with Una.
KFC
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
Okay.
KFC
That's how this kind of worked out perfectly. It was like, Una wanted in. I think you wanted in. And they were like, we need to balance it with guys and girls. So then Una had that thing with Francis on the A and they were like, why doesn't Una join so Danny can join and balances. But Una has it a little bit better because it was like, she has Jackie. She was like, I'll sleep underneath Jackie's bed. I don't care. Yeah, it's.
Danny Conrad
She's got under. I got to.
Jackie
I knew that that was coming.
Danny Conrad
We made eye contact. Just say it already.
Jackie
I, I, it's also like, I feel like it might be almost overwhelming on where to watch it because it's also like a house of content creators. They're all probably gonna get like, Annika is gonna start a vlog. Like, all the tick tock girls are gonna be.
KFC
Maybe that will almost be the confessionals. In a way. It will. That would be a to watch where it's like, you gotta follow 20 people and the main account. But it's like if you watched on Viva Lestool, and then it's like Annika gave the real scoop on her thing.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
Which actually. I mean, this is all so convoluted and complicated, but that feels weird. We're in a weird spot in barstool right now where it is, like, you can. You're supposed to build your personals, but we have to do everything for the company. So it'd be a cool way to be. Like, you have to come here and film for this main channel, but anything else you do is on your own. And obviously, if people are invested, they're gonna go follow all those things.
Danny Conrad
Yeah, yeah.
KFC
So that could be a good, like, hybrid way to work it. Because it's gonna be a lot.
Danny Conrad
I like that part a lot. I think we'll make, like, a lot of good content in that house outside of the actual show.
KFC
I'm in the middle of watching Love island, and there's this one dude, Ace, who is. Who's, like, my favorite. Like, he's, like, the most normal of the dudes in this house. He's a online. He's a Instagram dance instructor, and he does zoom. He does zoom lessons, and he does it with, like, Pakistani dudes. And he's like this young black dude, so he's like, teaching him how to Dougie. And he's like, come on, Babar. Like, you gotta put your hips into it. And they're like, am I doing it right? And, yeah, he had one for, like, people in wheelchairs. Like, he's a very. But my point is, he's very, like, proactive, and, like, he's trying to chase these girls down. He's like, all right, I need you to pretend to be the waiter. I'm going to bring her down, and you have to give her the pancakes. We're going to play ping pong, and if she wins a point, she gets a pancake. He turns everything into a game. He turns everything into, like. And. And all the girls are, like, swooning because it's like he's, you know, putting in effort and all that.
Danny Conrad
So, yeah, I'm going to be in the. In the back of a Nicky Smokes video where he's like, Katie getting kicked out of the house is like an NFL player getting traded.
KFC
Now because he might be the. He might be. He could be an agent of chaos.
Danny Conrad
Yeah, he gets. Simply put, he has a harder time keeping his cool than most people sometimes.
Feidelberg
He's volatile.
Danny Conrad
He. Yeah, a bit. We were on Moot Can't Sleep last week, and I think he was drunk. He had tweeted like, he was with that cornbread girl. I think she's like big on Twitter. Has. Has a couple. Has some big breasts. I'm just describing her.
Feidelberg
Jackie.
Danny Conrad
No, and he was saying some ominous. He's like, just so you know, like, we all ain't as much of friends as you think we are. Like, it's not gonna go down like this. And we're kind of like, what are you even talking about? But okay.
KFC
But he said that to you?
Danny Conrad
No, he just said it to. In general. Like, anyone listening? Because it was like the beach house episode. Oh, I see movies rotating us all in. So it gets a little weird like that, you know, like the Star wars memes where it's like, no caption. It's just supposed to be very ominous. I don't know. I don't know what this means, but it's not going to be good and it's not going to turn out how you want it.
KFC
Well, will there be a. Like a smokes on smokes rivalry? Danny versus Nikki?
Danny Conrad
Like, there could be. Hey, don't forget Tommy either, right?
KFC
There's a triple smokes smokes.
Danny Conrad
Dudes. Only one of us could be top smokes.
KFC
Tommy's interesting because I think he's a. He's a reality competitor. Not a. Not a, like, liver, you know, I mean, he needs a challenge. He needs a. An equation, a puzzle or something, you know?
Danny Conrad
Yeah, he's just gonna be, like, in the corner thinking of icebreakers the whole time.
KFC
I hope he's just smashing. I hope Tommy brings home a new girl every night.
Danny Conrad
He's a good guy to party with. He's fun.
KFC
Yeah. There he is. What's up, man?
Danny Conrad
Smokes number two.
KFC
We're. Yeah. So wait, who. Who is like, who is King Smokes?
Nikki Smokes
He knows who his daddy is. It's me.
Danny Conrad
He keeps. He keeps trying to. I should never father son. We're brothers, if anything.
KFC
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
He's like my apprentice.
KFC
So apparently some guys walk into the room. Dick first.
Feidelberg
I go nose first.
KFC
I go toes first. And nose.
Feidelberg
Toes and dick.
KFC
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Feidelberg
Erection resurrection.
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Feidelberg
Six million. And they're all on Twitter.
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Nikki Smokes
I don't know. Robbie Fox told me today. He says when he, when he hears smokes, he thinks of me, Tommy or Robbie? Robbie told me that when he hears Tommy. When? Robbie told me when he hears smokes, he thinks of me.
KFC
That's bad for the Tommy brand.
Feidelberg
I. I agree with that. I've told Tommy that. Really?
KFC
You guys think that Mickey smokes is the official smokes at barstool? I second to Danny, of course.
Danny Conrad
Right.
Feidelberg
I hang out with Tommy all the time, so I just call Tommy.
Danny Conrad
That's the thing. Like, Tommy was the original smokes. No one really calls you just straight up, Nikki. It smokes where everyone calls time.
Nikki Smokes
Why are you using so.
Danny Conrad
Because his real name is Charles Longley.
Nikki Smokes
Why are you doxing the guppy? No, I don't care. It's fine.
Feidelberg
Your name is Charles.
Nikki Smokes
Charles Nicholas Longley, bro.
KFC
I almost fell. I almost fell out of my conference room chair when we were. Yeah, I was like. I was like, there's another person. Who else is in trouble?
Nikki Smokes
Yeah. So I was named after my grandfather because he didn't have. He didn't. Well, he had a son, but he didn't want kids, so his last name died. So my mom named me after him, but then just called me Nick my whole life. So that explains that you just said.
KFC
That, like, that was a very common story. Like, wait, what?
Feidelberg
Your grandfather was upset that his last name was dying, but he had a kid.
KFC
Yes, he had a son, but the son didn't want to have kids, correct?
Feidelberg
Oh, the son didn't want to have.
KFC
Yeah. I thought you. I thought you were like, I thought that.
Feidelberg
Want to have kids.
KFC
Like this bastard kid over here.
Nikki Smokes
Nicki Snow.
KFC
Nikki Snow is not on my name.
Feidelberg
I thought you just said that. So cavalier. Like, my grandfather abandoned his son, so last name.
Danny Conrad
I was just in my head, like, that checks out.
Nikki Smokes
And I.
Feidelberg
Well, what was he gonna do? You know that. Bad vibes.
Danny Conrad
That explains a lot.
KFC
So Nick is just like, kind of a nickname or whatever, but then. And then you so smokes on for.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah. When I first started making content, everything I did was sports betting related. So it was originally Nikki Bets. And then one day, my boy was like, yo, Nikki Smokes Just sounds cooler. Yeah, that sounds good. Sounds way better.
Danny Conrad
It's not like a synonym for bets, though. We just ran.
Nikki Smokes
Well, you know, Mookie Bets, a baseball player.
Danny Conrad
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
I was like, all right, like, what kind of. Like, does Nikki Bets kind of sound cool? And I thought it did. And then my boy was like, nah, scratch that. Make it Nicky Smokes.
Danny Conrad
How do you go from bets to smokes, though?
Nikki Smokes
My boy was just like, yo, make it smoke.
Danny Conrad
You just.
KFC
You just say it.
Feidelberg
Okay.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. My bad dog.
KFC
How do you just change your name to Smokes?
Danny Conrad
Yeah, I guess I did it too.
Nikki Smokes
You still got some things to check off before you get that name. You got to take one coworker down before you get the last name. Those are the rules, bro.
KFC
Wait, did. Did Tommy do that too?
Danny Conrad
Not that I know.
Nikki Smokes
No comment. He's been here for so long, I feel like one slip through the crack.
KFC
He was the original. Like, he became Smoked because he was running the. The smoke show account.
Nikki Smokes
Oh, I thought he was Smokes because he was ripping that vape on the.
KFC
No, that was different. That was vape. God. But he was. This was when he was. He was first alarmingly stupid. That was his nickname because there was one moment on the road come back. Truly. No, true.
Danny Conrad
Seriously.
KFC
I remember on this rundown, Dave, we were, like, looking for somebody's name and. And we, like, Google that. And Tommy Googled, like, Seinfeld Goiter because, like, the actor was in the episode of Seinfeld with a goiter. But it was like, we just needed you to look up a name. And we looked at his Google and it said Seinfeld Goiter or something like that. We're like, what the kind of Google search that. And Dave was like, that dude is alarmingly stupid. And that stuck for a good amount of time. I thought it was stupid.
Danny Conrad
You remember that?
Feidelberg
No, no.
KFC
Well, there was a couple.
Danny Conrad
Okay.
KFC
Yeah. Because that's why Dave was like, this is. You are alarmingly stupid. And at that point, he was fresh out of college. He weirder. He acted like, totally Tommy Tism. Then he got in charge of finding the smoke shows for the Instagram account. So his job was just like, to talk to hot chicks all the time. And it was kind of a joke because it was like, the weird, like, new kid, right, Is now talking all the smoke. So he became Tommy Smokes. And then, like, he got funny and started to look less weird.
Nikki Smokes
I was gonna say, like, this.
KFC
He's actually. I remember being like, this guy's a loose. He's a Fordham guy. And I was like, oh, no. And then now I'm like, I think he's one of the funniest guys in the company. I think he's like, I hear all these stor about him and chicks.
Nikki Smokes
I'm like, this is crazy how Tommy used to look. Him running the smokes account makes so much sense. Like, how to be some weird looking weird. Because he looked like an alien when he first totally, man.
KFC
He looked. I mean, he was out of college, but it was like. It looked like he was fresh out of like high school.
Feidelberg
He's got. He's one of those like. Apparently. I feel like they end up here a lot. I think we've had a lot of co workers who are like. I hit puberty when I was 20.
KFC
Yeah.
Feidelberg
You know what I mean? I think Tommy's one of those too.
KFC
Ugly ducklings who kind of like grow into their face a little bit or something.
Feidelberg
I think like I. I think he. I'm pretty sure I'm right that he had like a.
KFC
A growth spurt of some sort.
Feidelberg
Like something he worked out for a little while.
KFC
He got like decently cut up. They wouldn't allow him to work out anymore.
Feidelberg
We're in the cab on the way here, club out. Clemmer Clement had the same thing. Clemmer grew a foot in a year.
Nikki Smokes
They.
Feidelberg
I. I think Tommy had a similar thing.
KFC
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
Tommy might have got like work done. The way he's.
KFC
He'll clip that. That'll be like for I. There. There's a couple guys. I remember, I guess being a part of barstool for so long, like watching it grow, it's sort of like I knew it was getting big and it was like. And it was gonna be like a whole different world. But when you just gross like incrementally with it, you don't notice it as much, you know? I remember like when finding out that like Tommy, Tommy Scavelli was girls and like when Marty was first here, I was like, that guy is from outer space. He was like, you know, hooking up with some people. I was like. I was like, this is great. Like the barstool effect is wild now. It's just kind of like common. Everybody goes through it. But at that point I was like, boy, anybody who writes this blog can like all of a sudden get girls.
Danny Conrad
Be cool, be whatever, you know, Tommy's like, I'll make you a smoke show, but just one thing you gotta do.
Feidelberg
That was I. I do not envy Tommy for that at all because I. I was very briefly a smokes guy at Barstool New York and I. I don't know if it's. I don't like talking like, I don't know.
KFC
I hate. It's a little.
Feidelberg
It's a little. Sending those weird.
KFC
A transaction.
Nikki Smokes
Was it off a brand account or is it.
Feidelberg
Yeah, when I was doing it.
KFC
Well, ye. That's weird.
Feidelberg
Yeah, that's weird.
KFC
Well, but it was, it was not bad though. It was. I remember when I was doing New York. It was me and K. Marco. And the two things you had to do were guess that ass and local smoke shows. And I was like, I'll do the local smoke shows. So. So he would do guest that ass and I would. So I was messaging. This was pre everything. I was messaging girls from my Facebook account. And I used to just have a very, like, professional, like, cut and paste. Just like, hey, here's my name. Here's what we do. We, like, find local girls who basically do this, like, modeling, you know, on our page. If you're interested, cool. If not, like, no big deal. But that always led to just like, we're having a party. Do you want to come through?
Feidelberg
Like, I, I, I think I use your exact. I think you just sent me your copy and paste. And I still.
KFC
I hate it. Yeah, it's a little weird.
Feidelberg
It just felt like sales mini.
KFC
It did. Very much so. Like, but by the way, 99 were, like, awesome. It was.
Feidelberg
Yeah.
KFC
It was never to work your arm.
Feidelberg
Eventually, like, you're at. People were asking.
KFC
Yes.
Feidelberg
But I, I just hated, I hated doing that.
KFC
Yes.
Feidelberg
And it would, I would get so uncomfortable. And I think I, I ended up switching off to guess that ass.
KFC
Yeah. And I let me go stalk the celebrities, not the real people.
Feidelberg
I missed it.
Nikki Smokes
I feel like I missed, like, the golden times.
KFC
No.
Nikki Smokes
Now I get in trouble for nothing.
KFC
With the local smoke. That, that show. I mean, to be. To be. I don't know if I really hooked up with anyone, but. But it was just, it was a different time in that, like, you probably don't even realize how exposed to mega hot chicks you are. Like, when I first started doing local smoke shows, it would be like, you would get recommendations. So I'd be like, hey, anybody from nyu, you know? So everybody at NYU would be like, here are the names of all the hot girls in the school. And I remember, like, when I would find them, I was like, I have never seen anyone this pretty in my life. Like, nowadays it's just Instagram models and like, every. But at that point, it was like, you had regular girls from, like, high school and college. You would know that, like, Arizona State and, like, some of those places would have, like, a bunch of bombshells. But I would find out, like, I was like, this girl goes to, like, Marist in upstate New York and is, like, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Now it's a dime a dozen on the Internet. But back then it was like, whoa, I've never seen this.
Danny Conrad
Now you have to check for, like, the AI you're gonna do. I used to have to.
KFC
For.
Danny Conrad
For Bar Chicago. I didn't have to, like, look for them, but I would have to post the smoke show to the Instagram story at 5:15 every single day for, like, three years.
KFC
It's a grind.
Danny Conrad
I had an alarm on my phone. It's like. It's so funny to be like, oh, I gotta do this again. It's just like posting a really hot girl.
KFC
No, but it is a testament to, like, anything can become work.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
Because you would think, like, I'll do this forever. And by the end, I was like, oh, I'm running out. I need, like. I remember being like, dude, there were times where if we ran out of, like, recommendations, this. This might be the creepiest thing we ever did because all the sites would do it. We. You would almost. We would. We would intentionally post, like, an ugly person. Like, it would be like a. Not like a random person. Be like, let's find a really ugly picture on the Internet. And we would post that and be like, this is what you guys get because you haven't recommended anybody.
Feidelberg
Yeah.
KFC
And then we get flooded with recommendations. Looking back on that, I'm like, oh, my God.
Danny Conrad
Eddie would, like, find the smoke shows and post them on the site, and then I would post them on the story. And we're from, like, Northwest side Chicago, similar area. So I'd see someone we both knew. I'd be like, huh, barrel's a little low. Choosing our friends.
Feidelberg
The way you just explained how it was back in the day versus how it is now is so, like. Like, we've switched. We just live. Like, it's like life takes place on the Internet now.
KFC
Yeah.
Feidelberg
Like, it's kind of depressing. It reminded me of a time when Jackie and I were in the airport. I've said this 10 times because it was, like, such a jarring moment when Jackie.
KFC
We were there.
Feidelberg
We're going to Louisiana, maybe.
Jackie
Yeah.
Feidelberg
And she just, like, Was like, God, everyone is so attractive.
Jackie
And I was like, not in the airport.
Feidelberg
Like, she was looking at her phone. I was like, jackie, pick your head up. Look, everyone's.
KFC
These are all ugly.
Feidelberg
This is.
Danny Conrad
This is all looking at my Instagram.
KFC
But, like, any Conrad's so hot.
Feidelberg
There was that time when we were young and we were like, wow. Like, there's only, like, three hot people in the world.
KFC
Yeah.
Feidelberg
And it's because we just don't look around anymore.
KFC
Like, yeah, yeah.
Feidelberg
But there was.
KFC
Scan the room.
Feidelberg
Everyone ugly.
KFC
We used. We've said before I'd be interested to hear like, your angle on this. Like, there, there was, I would say there's like four or five like it girls throughout, like, basically my life where it was like in the 90s, it was like Pamela Anderson and Baywatch. Britney Spears at her peak, Megan Fox when she was in Transformers. And then maybe like Margot Robbie kind of had a moment.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
Now I just feel like you can't. I guess there's like Sydney Sweeney right now, right?
Danny Conrad
Yeah.
KFC
But in general, there always used to be like one or two. Like right now it's just like this random girl on Instagram who has 9 million followers that, like, no, no skill, no talent, no movies, no nothing. It's just a smoke show.
Nikki Smokes
Sex sells, bro.
KFC
It's crazy, man.
Nikki Smokes
These girls are making like $80 million on OnlyFans.
KFC
I, I, we were talking to a Bella Danger about that. Like, I, I can't, I don't, I doubt it. But I'm also like, I guess I.
Nikki Smokes
Saw a clip, though. I saw your guys' clip of you guys talking to her. She's like, big leagues, minor leagues. Why would I ever want to go to the big leagues if I could just go on only $80 million, 80 mil and take naked pics versus get by some dude with an 8 inch cockpit. 35 minutes.
Danny Conrad
And it's like your own schedule, too. Your own boss.
KFC
Yeah, dude, that was when Abella was like, I don't really do only fans. I make like 100k a month.
Nikki Smokes
It's like, you, dude.
Feidelberg
It's a little depressing, but that was, that was such a great pitch for only fans. You get to be your own boss.
KFC
Financial freedom.
Danny Conrad
You like.
Feidelberg
So, like, it's Uber. You work when you want.
Danny Conrad
It off.
KFC
These guys.
Danny Conrad
Porn star, journeyman.
KFC
We were saying that, like, we don't know if there's going to be drama or whatever. What do you like, do you think?
Nikki Smokes
I definitely think there's going to be a drama 100,000%. I, I think just in terms of basic life, right? Like, you go on vacation and you're staying with a buddy for a week, you're like, bro, give me the out of this.
KFC
Yeah. By the end of that, you're like, we're talking about sick of each other.
Nikki Smokes
Talking about 10 people in their 20s outside of Dante on a shorthouse for five weeks.
KFC
Like 10 twenties and one in their 60s. Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Naturally you're going to get irritated with each other. So, like, that's one and then two. Like, I know how I get off booze. I know how Annika is off booze. Like, that alone will be its own dynamic. But if you think that we're all just going to be in this house and just be Kumbaya and, like, no one's going to with you, fuck off when you're drunk, like, you're crazy.
Feidelberg
Okay, let me ask you this.
KFC
Why?
Nikki Smokes
Cuz everyone.
Feidelberg
Why, like, why should it be? Like, most shorehouses are just a good time.
Nikki Smokes
No, there's not one.
Feidelberg
I'm kind of more on his reality television. I'm talking about. Sure. No, but your friend.
KFC
No, but I'm even with him. Like, like, what we've said about, like, you know, like, on those last weekends are like, get me the fuck out of here. That, at least for me, was usually also, like, because of certain dynamics. And I was like, I don't want to be in this house.
Danny Conrad
And I don't. I don't mean this in a mean way, but, like, we're. We're not friends really.
Feidelberg
But yeah, you're, like, friendly, but like.
Nikki Smokes
Dan, like, I'd say, like, we're good work friends. Like, but like, I'm not calling you on Saturday like, yo, let's go, right?
Feidelberg
No, but, like, that wouldn't be getting.
Danny Conrad
A short house together.
KFC
That's also kind of when you become friends. You might become enemies, but you might become friends. Yeah.
Feidelberg
Like, it's just as likely that you guys all become best friends and have like, the greatest month ever.
Nikki Smokes
Well, then I get fired if that happens. I can't let that happen.
KFC
So that was my other. So I think that there might be a moment. Moment of somebody being like, I'm having fun, we're all friends, but this is still work and I gotta, like, earn my paycheck. I gotta earn a contract in a contract year. Like, I'm gonna go stir some up. Do you think you would just be like, yeah, like, blatant about that?
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, honestly. I mean, like, I love this job, I love this place, but I know Dave's not sending my ass to the shorehouse to have a good time for five years. He wants me and Annika at each other's throats.
Danny Conrad
So.
KFC
So could there be a moment on, like, week three? Things are kind of dark, like, days like, these numbers are not good. And you're just gonna be like, all right, I'm just. You Annika.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
And just watch like, the. The sparks.
Nikki Smokes
Like, that's what's tough, though, is because I genuinely, like, do care about the girl.
KFC
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
And I know she cares about me. So that's the weird dynamic because when we're doing our own thing, we're not in the same room. It's whatever. But like, you see her making out with a dude, she sees me getting with another girl, like, that's when. That's when gets real.
KFC
Wait, when you posted that picture with that chick with like your tits in your head and then she posted like, you can take it down. I saw it.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
Is that like funny and banter or like, that's like bad news?
Nikki Smokes
This is funny. I was just talking to her. I was just talking to her about this yesterday. Danny saw us. Like, everything with me and her is very real.
KFC
And they.
Feidelberg
And all the public tweets too, right?
Nikki Smokes
Yeah. Like, people, people think it's young people.
KFC
Where it's like, you guys are just.
Danny Conrad
Tweeting it out there.
Nikki Smokes
People think it's scripted. I'm like, bro, I wish it was scripted. Like, I'd be a much happier man if this was scripted. I'd be laughing at this, like, not calling Nick Tyrani, like, bro, I don't know what the to do right now.
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Feidelberg
But also, I want to just be clear about something. You guys have. I feel like we've forgotten this at this company. You guys having fun can also be good content.
KFC
Yeah. It doesn't have to be like, I.
Feidelberg
Wasn'T like, it's gonna be boring. You guys gonna be having fun. Like, you might just have fun.
KFC
And you guys are like, I hope the competition pops off and like you guys are playing beer pong and there's a tournament or something like that that can just be fun to watch on the Internet.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, for sure. I Hope it's like a 60, 40 split of fun and drama. I do think you need a little bit of drama.
KFC
I. I agree.
Feidelberg
You have just saying it's not like what I'm saying. I think you guys can have fun. I'm not saying it like this show's gonna suck. I'm just saying, like, I think you guys, it's. I think it's equally possible you guys have a great summer as there's a disaster.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah. And I hope that's I hope that's what happens. I hope that's what happens, because I don't want to leave this show because the things like with Love Island, Summerhouse, all that other show ends, they go to back to Florida, California, Texas. We come back to your office. Like, I'm gonna still see Attica. I'm still gonna see Ella. I'm gonna see everybody. So it's not like it just. Just goes away, right?
KFC
Are you guys. Are you still in the, like, hate hard love. Like, are you still hooking up with her or. No.
Danny Conrad
Yeah.
KFC
Oh, this is gonna be a mess.
Feidelberg
I'll tell you this. I just saw an Instagram clip about body language, and it said when I. When you touch your nose, it means I didn't like what I just heard.
Nikki Smokes
Guys, no comment. No comment.
Danny Conrad
Bulches happen to have the same breakfast diner in the city that they go. They split Ubers because it's cheaper. They hold hands for fun as friends. They're holding hands as friends.
Nikki Smokes
Oh. I mean, I.
Feidelberg
All right, here's, like, fun, content idea. Why don't you get married?
Nikki Smokes
I told her.
KFC
Why don't you tell her right now, look at the camera, say, I love you, Annika.
Nikki Smokes
I love you. Let's get married on the show. We won't regret it.
Feidelberg
Like, that's. That's fine.
Nikki Smokes
You want to hear my content idea? Barstool baby. Me and Annika have a baby, but. But we don't raise it. The office raises it.
Danny Conrad
That's much better.
Feidelberg
A communal baby in honor of my grandfather.
KFC
Communal office baby is hilarious. There's an ice cream machine and a baby.
Danny Conrad
Doesn't that sound fun? You guys see the baby? Doesn't that sound fun, guys? I get to bust in her, and you guys just handle the consequences.
Nikki Smokes
That baby would be a content king, bro.
KFC
That's like some Truman show from birth.
Feidelberg
I follow a barstool baby.
KFC
I would follow the. Out of a barstool baby. It's not allowed to leave these premises. It does not know the outside world it's never seen.
Nikki Smokes
Like, the unreleased Mr. Jerry.
Danny Conrad
The whole audience just gets a live baby monitor at all times.
KFC
See, that's the other thing. Like, if. If that moment happened at the beach house, it would be a good clip. Yeah. You know, like, it might just be one giant podcast for all we know.
Nikki Smokes
I told her I did want one, like, hot, spicy, messy makeout on camera. Yeah, Just so they know. What, like, who they're working.
Danny Conrad
How much you charging?
KFC
Yeah, I mean, I. I think every other reality show we've Done. I think literally almost every other one we've done is a hit.
Nikki Smokes
And I like how it's not like a competition base. It's not like we're voting people off. Like, we're genuinely just there to get after it and stir some up. But it's not like we're trying to slime each other out.
KFC
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Because every other reality show, it's like, all right, how can I. This guy over. Get him the out.
Feidelberg
Yeah.
KFC
Have you guys signed any yet?
Nikki Smokes
No, not yet.
KFC
Very interested to see what, like, that paperwork.
Nikki Smokes
We will. Right, Jackie?
Jackie
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
We had a great meeting yesterday. I don't. I don't always talk about it, so.
KFC
But yeah, I would just imagine that, like, you're going to have to say, literally anything can happen to me in this house. And yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Dave said it's going to be like a Bravo contract, like, flirting. Everything is like.
Danny Conrad
Cuz, like, only in the house.
KFC
I feel like. In the what?
Danny Conrad
Only in the house, though, not in the office.
KFC
I. I feel like there used to be, you know, back in the day, I'm like real world. And if you punch, if you made physical contact, you were out, like, done.
Danny Conrad
Yeah.
Feidelberg
Yeah.
KFC
And now.
Feidelberg
Which I always thought was a weak rule.
KFC
Yeah, me too. But now it's. I mean, housewives, like, slap each other in the face, like, every two seconds. And like, there's.
Feidelberg
But back in the. In the ct where it was like, well, one person is just pushing it 99% of the way, and then I slap. Because I'm taking it 1% further. Why am I the fucking one in trouble? They clearly wanted that to happen.
KFC
Right? Right. Those were the good old days, though.
Danny Conrad
I really don't think it's going to be as. As forced of stirring the pot right.
Feidelberg
As you.
Danny Conrad
As you think, like. Because I know you and Annika's dynamic pretty well. If she sees you talking another girl at the bar, she's gonna. She's not faking that. She's mad.
Nikki Smokes
Right.
Jackie
I could see a world, which I feel like. You know how, like, sometimes you're like, I've said this. But like, when you're just like, I'm gonna have one or two drinks and then you end up getting blacked out. Like, I could see the world in which, like, K dick, like, is like, oh, I'm not gonna start any drama. And then he's the one starting drama.
Nikki Smokes
Or like, oh, you're just innocent over there, right, Jackie?
Jackie
No, no, no. I. I actually think. I haven't said that. I won't start being very measured about.
KFC
Her words where she's like, I'm not gonna not do these.
Nikki Smokes
Like, yeah, I saw a clip the other day. You're like, I mean, I don't want to see with my coworker. Like, I said the same too.
Jackie
I don't want that clip like being. I don't want anything. I'm. I've been so calculated because I just know if something does happen and then that clip would be turned around, me being like, I would never any of my coworkers. Not that I'm gonna.
Nikki Smokes
No, you're. You're gonna get clowned for that. Trust me.
KFC
It's coming. When you and Danny are like, like.
Nikki Smokes
You know that by the way, as like the podcast parents.
KFC
I I think so. I, I the rest of you, I.
Nikki Smokes
Think that's the best guy that someone could in the house.
KFC
That's what I said. Yes. The rest of you guys, I was like, I told her, you can do whatever you want. You make your own decisions. I just don't know if that's a good idea. Yeah. Danny is more is. Is a little bit different than you guys.
Danny Conrad
Yeah, we'll know more at the shore.
KFC
But Because I mean, really though it was. I mean, Dante's a thousand.
Nikki Smokes
Yep.
KFC
I, I don't know anything about Mike Kiddick. I just don't think that's a thing. Tommy would. It would be insane if Jackie on it would be. I would, I would. I would have to quit or something. Someone's got to of you. One of us three. There was also at one point is. Is the was the nado thing just a rumor?
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
Okay. So at that point I was like, no. And like, that was, you know, really it. And then, and then you.
Nikki Smokes
And I was like, too much baggage.
Danny Conrad
Here already was what I was worried about.
Nikki Smokes
I did get the green light though. Cuz I asked. I'm like, damn. I, I said like, can I go full smokes? Because like, oh, from Dave though. Like, I. Yeah, from Anaka.
KFC
Okay.
Nikki Smokes
But like, I've obviously dipped my pen and company ank one too many times. And I was like, well, if they're sending me to a summer house, I feel like they kind of want me to do this. Like, am I gonna get fired if I like, sleep with a co worker there? And they're like, no. Like, you could do whatever the you want.
KFC
So you're on. Like, it's like kind of like what he said. Like in office, out of office. Like, so if you think if you, if you had sex with a co worker from like Monday to Wednesday. You're fired.
Nikki Smokes
Probably.
KFC
Yeah, he's gonna. It's like he's waiting for midnight.
Nikki Smokes
Let's go.
KFC
Bravo contract kicked in. Yeah.
Danny Conrad
To be clear, I think the biggest stipulation is just. Just physically in the office.
Nikki Smokes
Thanks, Danny.
Danny Conrad
So, you know I got your back looking out for you.
Nikki Smokes
I know.
Danny Conrad
Might have to get a smush room in the office.
KFC
It's gonna be good.
Feidelberg
But.
Danny Conrad
Yeah, I feel like drama is also a strong word sometimes too. You can ask Nikki. Like, I'm usually a menace around the office. Sometimes just like accusing people of.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
For my investigations. Little like that. And sometimes people get really mad. So it's not like you who necessarily. It's up. You're annoying.
Nikki Smokes
Right. I feel like a lot of people are caught up in the drama is solely gonna be based around.
KFC
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Like, it could come in so many. So many different avenues. You left. You left without me. Like, what the.
KFC
You.
Nikki Smokes
And they're like, boom. There's like a chick fight.
Danny Conrad
I've been saying this since day one, too. I've. Fidalborg and kfc. I think you both attest to this. Dante will be a big problem one of the weekends. Yes.
KFC
Oh, yeah.
Danny Conrad
He says some offhanded sometimes. For sure. You didn't know that was.
KFC
It'll be like politics or something. Just something. You know what I mean? Like.
Feidelberg
But so in my experience with Dante, he's two different people.
KFC
Blackout Dante? You're talking about like. Like, blackout Tour Dante?
Feidelberg
No, I mean, like, just like online and.
KFC
Oh, yeah, yeah. That is true.
Feidelberg
Clark Kent and like. Like, he is a completely different person in both places. So I don't know if people. I don't know what to expect from Dante. I don't see him enough these days. Maybe he's mostly the online guy.
KFC
Yeah, but. But I also think Dante's going into that being, like, I'm gonna show these, like, young bucks what it's really like to, like, party and be out and all that, sort of. So I don't know if that means drama, but I think he's gonna be like. Like, we're doing shots right now. We're staying out of the bar till 4am we're doing, you know, like, all that sort of show.
Nikki Smokes
I love when an old head gets. Yes, I love it because when they wake up the next morning, you don't hear from them all day long. Dark room, aspirin on the table.
Danny Conrad
That's when he's writing the conspiracy on Twitter.
KFC
Laurie Lightfoot. That. That is the. I would say the biggest Most consistent, fatal flaw of barstool personalities is overconfidence in your older self. Yeah, I mean, I, I somehow missed this until this morning, but I. I just watched the cons and White Sox Dave race.
Nikki Smokes
Oh my God.
KFC
And I mean, cons was doing more talking before that than I've maybe anybody ever at barstool. I'm. I was in the army. I will never lose to you. I'm so competitive. I'm the best. I'm handsome. You're ugly. I'm tall. You're short, you're fat. I'm not. I mean, he was going in and then just like, like didn't even come close. Got smoked. And. And I, I just feel like we've seen that time and time again. White Sox Dave was one of them too. I could throw 95 and he could throw like 79. And Rocket went through that. Like when. If you like stop working out, drinking, partying, whatever it is for like a year, you've lost it.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
Let alone like 20.
Nikki Smokes
It's like white Sox Dave still thinking you could throw 95 off the boss, right? No, 80 is still good at 40.
KFC
That's the thing. It's like I, I would be, be ultra impressed if he said I could throw 80 and he did. I'd be like, wow, I could throw like 42 right now. But if you tell me you can throw 95 and you throw 80, well then you look like an. So it's always just the bar you set. And like, there's no doubt in my mind that that crew on the Blackout tour probably drank and partied more than like maybe anyone alive other than like 80 rock, 80s rocks, man.
Nikki Smokes
I watched those videos. I was like, damn, dude. That had to be a time to be alive, employed at the wrong time.
Feidelberg
There are part, There's. There are parts of me very small, small parts. Parts I don't talk about at parties that think I'm invincible because I survived.
KFC
Yeah.
Feidelberg
I'm like, I might just not be able.
KFC
From the drinking to the living conditions, to the travel, to like the germs, to like everything. You guys should have been dead in five, six different ways.
Feidelberg
It might be like, I might not be able to die.
KFC
But so, but, but that was like at your guys peak and like. Yeah, if you. Listen, if we threw you in a time machine and you got dropped into the Blackout tour, maybe. Maybe Dante could drink you under the table then maybe not. I don't know. But certainly no. Yeah. Or whatever. But you know what I mean? Like, like the Blackout Tour in Its heyday was probably the craziest, but that was a long.
Feidelberg
Dante was 50 then.
KFC
Yeah, man, that, that, that I've. I even. I remember like the. The combine I did. I was never like, talking.
Nikki Smokes
That's one of the worst videos I've ever seen. I don't think I got to tell you that to your face, but I watched that. I was like, jesus Christ, this is bad.
KFC
But I remember being like, I was like 25, right?
Nikki Smokes
You were 25.
KFC
No, wait, you were older. Yeah, I was gonna say I started 25, so it like 28.
Feidelberg
When was it?
KFC
7.
Nikki Smokes
I don't lie. Until you were 35.
KFC
But that was even for me. I was just like, I play. I wasn't like, obviously like a tremendous athlete, but I played basketball in high school. I played pickup sports. I like, I would run around and move, and I just didn't for like, I don't know, five, six years. I got a couple surgeries and I was just like, oh, I've lost it. Like, it's gone. So to think that for anybody who add another decade onto that, like, I don't know, it's just sometimes the confidence, I'm like, you guys know that we're like, like old and like, I can see you're kind of fat or like, you know, you haven't jumped in 20 years or whatever the it is, you know, they will be like, What?
Danny Conrad
I've thrown 94 before. I'm like, yeah, in high school. You're missing the. The 20 year gap, I think.
KFC
I think people like, come in here and like stop aging in their mind or something. Yeah, you know, it's like cuz you.
Nikki Smokes
You don't make sense.
KFC
Old. Like, I'm hanging out with you guys. I. I know like the new trends and the new terms, all that, that you feel young, but your body ain't right. I mean, I haven't put on pants.
Feidelberg
With a button in six months.
Danny Conrad
KB like, just put me in a wrestling move last week, and I kept trying to get out of different ones. That's like how he has fun. And then one time I got his leg and then he just like yanked my neck down. This was like 11 days ago, and it still hurts. And I'm starting to think that it'll just never be cured, bro.
KFC
When he like, straight up body slammed Steve and J, I was like, body slam me yesterday. That would like, probably have literally like shattered my body.
Danny Conrad
I think it broke his shoulder.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, he broke his shoulder.
KFC
And then I saw Katic like doing Oklahoma drills with. With that one dude, he just lit him up.
Danny Conrad
Oh, my God.
KFC
You're a man. You're a dick and you know it. You agreed to do an Oklahoma drill with a guy who's 10 times your size. What do you think is gonna happen?
Nikki Smokes
Here's another thing, though. Like, former athletes could come here and get humbled a little bit too, because me and Katic, we went to some ratchet ass play a Sacramento, and I.
Danny Conrad
Thought you're gonna say like a strip.
Nikki Smokes
We got up out there and I was like, dude, I would smoke you in a one on one drill. He's like, dude, I'd throw you into the wall. Hit him with a spin move, and I broke him. And he was devastated. Like, snatched his soul from him. But, like, that's.
Danny Conrad
That's bringing that up at the house.
KFC
Crying, you know, K, you can't go over to.
Danny Conrad
Right.
KFC
That's the. The. The. The. The great equalizer with the athletes is like, they're obviously bigger, stronger, faster, but. But if they do lose, it crushes them, right?
Nikki Smokes
Like when Chief lost Eddie in one on one.
KFC
That was brutal.
Danny Conrad
We still talk about.
Nikki Smokes
You can't live that down.
KFC
I mean, I'm watching in real time. Taylor Lawan's gone through like a. Like a human. Like a shift as a human. Like, he's not the same person, really.
Nikki Smokes
But you didn't see his first pitch.
Danny Conrad
Oh, no.
Nikki Smokes
It was like 50 Cent bad.
KFC
It's. Oh. And then Will stepped up and threw a George w. Bush game one of the World Series after 9, 11 seed.
Danny Conrad
Like, oh, my God.
KFC
And he was like. I mean, it was. It was bad enough that I did a video on it. People were like, you're so stupid. This is obviously fake. And I was like, brother, it's not like I'm here and I'm seeing the conversations behind the scenes. Like, he's wrecked. Apparently he's going to Detroit for, like, redemption. And Will was like, you'll get your redemption. You'll probably throw a strike. But, like, the other video is not going away.
Nikki Smokes
Dude that lives forever.
Danny Conrad
If I ever got asked to throw a first pitch, I'm like hiring a coach and practicing for like a month.
KFC
The first pitch is like one of the sillier things that we assign a tremendous amount of, like, clout too. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, I threw a strike. You didn't throw a strike. Whatever. No, no, it's like, I threw a strike. I'm the man. You didn't. You're a loser and a zero, and.
Nikki Smokes
You should kill yourself.
Danny Conrad
You have everything to lose.
KFC
There's something just inherent, like you just should be able to throw a ball.
Feidelberg
Yeah.
KFC
That's just. Every guy feels that way.
Danny Conrad
You're not. You're not listening to many men the same way.
Feidelberg
Dude, I threw. I threw a first pitch once at a. Obviously nothing compared to Taylor at a Martha's Vineyard Sharks like, summer league game. It's kind of like, you know, like Cape League baseball.
Nikki Smokes
Okay.
Feidelberg
It's kind of like that. And I was just at the game, I think, or maybe I think they heard I was on the island. Whatever.
Nikki Smokes
Does anyone want to throw the first pitch out?
Feidelberg
Yeah.
KFC
Welcome that guy.
Feidelberg
Of course I'll throw the first pitch. Like that sounds awesome. And before the game, I was like talking to the teams and like one of the other team they're playing gave me a shirt and like a lot of the players are like, so you can do. You got throw from the mound. And I went from the mound, I might throw this thing from center field. And they're like, oh, bounced it like a five foot bounce. Like not even from the mound. I didn't go. I didn't go to center field. I threw it from the mound, bounced it to the plate. And I was like, all right, this. I'm never doing this again.
Danny Conrad
It's.
KFC
It's tough.
Feidelberg
I had all the confidence in the world. I was like, this is gonna be.
Danny Conrad
I wouldn't even focus on aim. Let me just get it to the plane.
KFC
Yeah, just air mail that shit. I. Yeah, there's something. It's almost like I want to do it, but. But it's like, it might just be better to say no to this.
Danny Conrad
If something goes wrong, you are nothing to gain.
KFC
Or. Or at this point, I think I would just air mail it on purpose and be like, dude, was it on purpose or not?
Feidelberg
Let's go viral.
Danny Conrad
Yeah.
KFC
That's what everybody does, huh?
Feidelberg
The mgk.
KFC
Yeah.
Feidelberg
And you like throw it. Like you like throw the.
Nikki Smokes
Oh.
KFC
Whoops. Yeah.
Danny Conrad
No, I can't.
Feidelberg
Damn. It bothers me so much. He makes good music.
Danny Conrad
I. I can't picture him being able to throw a baseball anyways. It probably wasn't fake mgk.
Nikki Smokes
This is very.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. Dangly.
KFC
A lot of parts to handle. Yeah.
Danny Conrad
Looks like he never played baseball.
Nikki Smokes
Like you said, there's nothing to gain. You throw a strike. It's like you should be able to do that and you don't. You throw a luan.
KFC
It's like how the.
Nikki Smokes
Are you an athlete?
Danny Conrad
You just.
Nikki Smokes
You can never win with the Internet, No.
KFC
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Feidelberg
Pecan trout.
KFC
See what I love about hellofresh, I would never order pecan crusted trout. Ever. See, But I would order you would I?
Feidelberg
If you got something crusted on the menu.
KFC
Trout though. You're a trout guy.
Feidelberg
I would ask with fish, I go, is it a fishy fish? And then, and then if they say no, I'll go, I'll take it.
KFC
It's like a staky fish instead of a fishy fish.
Feidelberg
Yeah, like the real likes, they kind of smell a little bit, they're a little white and like it's gooey or in your mouth. Ye, the, the white I like. But like the ones that like almost like cut like a cheese.
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Feidelberg
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Nikki Smokes
I'm excited to see, like, everyone's true personalities come out because. Oh, what you were saying with Dante, like, you have, like an Internet Persona, but then, like, you have that reality side. It kind of just shows that different side. Like how you actually mesh with people.
Feidelberg
Yeah, because, like, when I.
Nikki Smokes
When I have to go like this totally different and make a tick tock, I'm like, bro, I actually, actually hate myself. But, like, if they just have cameras rolling and I'm just, like, being myself talking with people and, like, I see those clips, I'm like, oh, okay. Like, I actually like what I do.
Feidelberg
Yeah. Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
But the second I have to go like selfie mode and make it, I'm like, bro, I actually put a gun in my mouth.
KFC
Do you guys hang out in this office? Yeah, outside the office.
Nikki Smokes
Oh, once a couple times. Yeah.
KFC
Like. Like in general. Not specifically you guys, but, like, is there.
Nikki Smokes
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Danny Conrad
Especially since a lot of people are, like, training transplants.
KFC
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
But yeah, that's always been a Barcelonal thing. It's kind of. It kind of becomes your professional life, your social life. Especially once you move.
Feidelberg
It's like, I don't have any other friends.
KFC
Everybody moved to New York and it was just like, we're all just gonna hang out together. But then, you know, if I'm old and I'm from home, you're not like, you know, everybody kind of pairs off.
Nikki Smokes
I think it's cool when you start to have that. But as you work here longer, you realize, like, you need both.
Feidelberg
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Like, you need your barstool friends, but then you need people that have nothing to do with barstool.
KFC
Because if you're on a 24. 7 heaven, it just like that just gets sticky. Right. If you're hanging out from Thursday to Sunday for five straight weeks, it's gonna definitely get sticky.
Nikki Smokes
You know how sticky against dc?
Danny Conrad
I think he's speaking literally.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah. For me, probably. But you got a wild side to you that not. Not a lot of people know about, which I'm excited.
Danny Conrad
We went on a storm chaser together.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
What was that? Eight days, five states, nuts. It was a wild time.
Nikki Smokes
You were low key.
KFC
Who's the big booze bag of this group?
Nikki Smokes
K. It can.
KFC
I feel like Katie could probably have.
Feidelberg
75 years center at University of Indiana. You can?
KFC
Yeah. Like. Like he's like Andre the Giant. Like, I don't think he's gonna get drunk.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, he's the booze bag. I'd probably say I'm like the degenerate bag.
KFC
What's. What's your. What's your. Your drink of choice, your poison, your vice? Besides the cocaine.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, well, that's another. I'm worried about that.
KFC
Can you do.
Nikki Smokes
I'm sure not on camera, but the last thing I need with my position is to get arrested with a bag. So I think I might just be on straight Adderall this whole trip.
Feidelberg
Wait for. That would be insane. Well, dude, do whatever you want, obviously, but, like, you are absolutely allowed to be arrested with cocaine. You think it's all you talk about.
KFC
I thought you're Nikki.
Nikki Smokes
That's not all I talk about. I'm just an open book.
Feidelberg
Yes, right.
Nikki Smokes
Everyone else hides it. And when we go out, it's like smokes. It's like, oh, now you want Okay, I see how this shit is.
Feidelberg
That is what I meant. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to need to, like, be like. It's all he talks about. But, yes, you. You're open about it, right? So, like, if you.
KFC
If you say. If you publicly say it once, that's like 100 more than the average person. Yeah.
Danny Conrad
You're a resident cocaine guy.
KFC
Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Would be surprised.
Feidelberg
Guess what?
KFC
He would not be surprised.
Nikki Smokes
No, no. I just don't know if it's a fireable offense.
KFC
I think trouble. I think if you were just doing it, if there's something where you got, like, arrested, I think it's like you got arrested.
Nikki Smokes
The Nikki bags, mug shots. He would do numbers, bro.
KFC
Mugshots are the like. Like the dream is to get, like, arrested for something not so bad, right? But get a good butt shot. Yeah. You know, that's.
Feidelberg
Dude, I. I still. When I go through tsa, I'm like, I hope they arrest me right now. Like, just like. Because every time I go through, I have like a weed pen in a bag or something like that. And I always think, like, I wonder if they're gonna stop it. And I always think, I hope they do.
KFC
Today's the day. I don't know.
Feidelberg
I'm not going anywhere important.
KFC
Well, in our world, like, I mean, Trent getting arrested in the moment, I think he was like, you know, freaking out and ended up being one of the best things that's ever happened.
Feidelberg
Imagine I got arrested because I had a weed pen in my toiletry bag.
KFC
I'd be laughing the whole way to the bank.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, it's a good one.
KFC
Yeah. So what do you drink, though?
Nikki Smokes
If I'm drinking liquor, I love tequila. Yeah, Tequila. No, I can't do shots.
KFC
Miami scumbag. Oh, really?
Nikki Smokes
I can't. I could. I could do one or two tequila shots. After that, I start double swallowing them. But like, tequila soda with a lime is usually my go to if I'm drinking liquor. Or I just love beers too, so either one of those.
KFC
You guys should. Should maybe drink espresso martini. You know, pre bottles.
Nikki Smokes
I do love an espresso martini. I love if I have dinner, it's always extra dirty.
KFC
I'm sending Jackie and Uno with cases. I don't care who your sponsors are. I don't care. What's going on? I'm smuggling.
Nikki Smokes
What's her deal?
KFC
Una? Yeah, so she's our. Our summer intern. She was like a big Casey radio fan. She was like, super aggressive, trying to like, like, you know, go out, like, A go getter to get the job. And then like, within the first week, she was mixing it up with Francis and like, kind of she was on the act. So she was. She was kind of like, yeah, behind.
Nikki Smokes
The scenes after this show. I don't know.
KFC
I don't think so. I think. I think I. I told her I was like, I can't really promise you a full time gig. You. You do need to, like, try to stand out this summer. But it's such a fine line. You don't want to be like a. Try hard. You want to be a douchebag. You'll be an. But you do got to, like, insert yourself. And I think she kind of stumbled into like, the best case scenario where, like, she got called out and she kind of was around but didn't really do anything wrong. So. And then, you know, you get invited to a house like this and I.
Nikki Smokes
Mean, she can make a name for herself quick at this house.
KFC
Right? That's. That's.
Nikki Smokes
That's the Tommy Smokes down or Danny. That'd be scenes your muff checky. Oh, yeah, my bad.
KFC
Blowing up the spot in front of.
Nikki Smokes
His girl like that. My bad, my bad.
KFC
I wonder if there will be a.
Feidelberg
Who.
KFC
Like, so the girls are Ella, Annika, Jackie, Una.
Nikki Smokes
Brie.
KFC
Brie.
Nikki Smokes
Interesting dynamic.
KFC
Yeah. Well, I'm in the middle of watching Love island right now, and there's this one chick who's like, crazy, like, arguably maybe the. The nuttiest chick ever on any reality TV show. Like the America, like, consensus America's come together for the first time in like two decades and agreed on something. It's like this chick. So I was wondering if they're.
Danny Conrad
But Ella is a. Ella can be a nut when she's trying. Yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Ella is. Is a wild card when she. When she's hammered. She gets after, like. I'm talking like some you have not seen before.
KFC
Yeah. What does that mean?
Nikki Smokes
She's killed a man. I'm not gonna, like, spill her tea because, like.
KFC
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Like, I like, keep that between me and her. But like, when she's out, like with her group, she just turns into. She turns into a demon in, like a fun way. I wouldn't say it's like a. You know how, like some girls get angry when they're drunk and they're just miserable beer. Like, she's very fun, but she's very reckless at the same time.
Danny Conrad
She takes no. She'll call you out. But what was I gonna say? Do you think.
KFC
Do you think there's Is there any worry? I mean, like, Brie is just like, a mega star.
Nikki Smokes
Right?
KFC
Right. Like, and she's doing the whole thing.
Nikki Smokes
I'm interested to see, like, what her involvement's gonna be, like, if she's gonna, like, want to be part of the squad or she's gonna want to, like, do her own thing.
KFC
She's a weird one because she is a megastar now, but I also feel like, like, she's pretty normal. Like, yeah, like, it's, I think she probably is happy to, like, be in a normal, yeah, fun, young people situation.
Jackie
Yeah.
KFC
But there's just a clear kind of divide of, like, I'm a mega star.
Danny Conrad
But I think it was kind of like her idea a little bit too.
KFC
Maybe the whole thing, or just to be like.
Danny Conrad
Yeah, to be in it.
Nikki Smokes
Well, here's the thing. Like, when I first started at barstool, like, I never really thought, like, Dan would be so personable with me because he's, like, a megastar. And then I went out with Biz to Edmonton. I'm like, bro, this guy is, like, larger than life out here. But, like, he took me under his wing. Like, we grew up together, so he's a good dude. Like that. Like, I've never met Brianna like that, but she could have that in her where she's like, know what? I'm with this house, like, we're just, we're gonna be one big family. Or she could just be like, nah.
KFC
That I'm very interested, actually. I, I, we keep talking about the house, but I'm thinking more also about, like, the bars is a weird, I don't know, like, she can't, you can't go.
Nikki Smokes
But, but if it's on your phones.
KFC
They'Re not going to. It's not if you can't have a.
Jackie
Cameraman, but you can like music.
KFC
Yeah.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. Jackie and I were talking yesterday and she was like, you know, my, like, biggest concern is. And I was thinking, huh, like, fighting with your co workers on camera, people.
KFC
Having sex, getting swept off your feet by Danny Conrad.
Danny Conrad
Right. Like, too many people. Now she's like, we're not going to be able to listen to music when we're drinking.
KFC
She came up to me, she's like, we need a. I think I've told everybody.
Jackie
I'm, like, so stressed out about it.
Feidelberg
The music. Everyone's got AirPod mods in.
Danny Conrad
Walk around.
Nikki Smokes
That's what we said yesterday. Everyone starts song in three, two, one.
Danny Conrad
Jackie, don't worry. I'm, I'm working on the mixtape that'd.
Nikki Smokes
Be such a funny like video if someone's just walking by the house. We all have our AirPods in going crazy.
KFC
No sound.
Jackie
Or we were thinking like, like 8pm playlist.
Danny Conrad
We just licensed music. I got a couple. Jackie.
KFC
Yeah, just some random like generic beats.
Danny Conrad
But like you could. I like yesterday I copy pasted Gangnam Style into it and like songs will show up that kind of sound like that we got some bangers on that decent. Or. Or the DJ could step in.
Nikki Smokes
Dante the Don, give me 12 beers, I'll start freestyling.
Danny Conrad
You are not going to give you 12 beers.
Jackie
I think that we should come. We should come up with a song. An APM music song.
KFC
Make that like your jam.
Jackie
If we can have lyrics. Yeah. And then we can listen to that and pregame to that.
Nikki Smokes
I'm with that.
KFC
I. I just can't imagine though. Like, I mean, I remember so Parker House was like one of the big beaches beach bars down there. And in like 09, 1011 I was blogging about like it's my favorite bar in the world. And Captain Collins to this day still blames me that it's like gotten so popular. I don't know whether it was me or coincidence or whatever, but it. It got to a point where it was like you were waiting online like two hours to get into this bar. It's just become like so popular and people are there all the time. And like I. When we were at a fraction of our size, if we went to the bar, it was like non stop pictures and crowded and like everybody. I mean that and I can't even imagine what it's like for someone like Brianna to go to some of these bars. Yeah, you guys all roll into DJs like, it's going to be a zoo.
Nikki Smokes
I said that the other day. Like Brianna could be like our. Our shield. Like everyone be worried about her. Yeah, just like she's just taking traps.
Danny Conrad
You want my autograph?
KFC
I'm gonna famous too. Guys. Heard of Danny? God rid him over here.
Danny Conrad
Who said that?
KFC
All right, well, I think it should be. I think it should be interesting.
Nikki Smokes
That's for sure.
Danny Conrad
Well, no more at the shore.
KFC
More at the shore. Done. Jersey at all.
Nikki Smokes
I've never been. No, you never know.
KFC
You know, like, has anybody.
Jackie
Probably Bri.
KFC
Yeah, I mean I. Again, I haven't been.
Nikki Smokes
I know Ella has friends out there.
Jackie
What's Annika like, drunk?
Nikki Smokes
It depends. Like if she's feeling great.
Feidelberg
Yeah, you can't ask someone who used to bang some more. Maybe it's a Little freaky. Sometimes we have sex, other times we have brawls in the middle of the street.
Nikki Smokes
That's it right there. It's like, if we're rocking together, it's a great time. If we're fighting, it sucks.
KFC
I. I just. That there's Parker house, Osprey, Legates, DJs. If you want to be like, a guido, couple dive bars.
Nikki Smokes
What's wrong with guidos? I'm a guido.
KFC
No, you're not. Not. No, you're not.
Feidelberg
You'll meet him.
KFC
All right, again I say all this. I have not been there in a decade. I don't really know what it's like anymore. But DJs is like gorilla juice head. Like, I remember the bouncers there had to be like, NFL linemen to be able to bounce regular. The regular Patriots, because it was just meathead, like Jaeger bomb. Juiced up fights that were like, he's both these guys, like 300 pounds.
Feidelberg
Yeah.
KFC
Who's gonna kick him out? And some guy was like, six, eight, would come and pull you out, folks.
Una
It's the foreplay.
KFC
Guys.
Una
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KFC
I mean, it is, it's. I don't know what it's like anymore, but it was go weed. Oh, you'll look like a fucking, like, Irish Mick in there, probably.
Nikki Smokes
Well, one of my best friends in Chicago went to college with Jackie, and I told him, I was like, yo, I think I'm about to be on this show with your girl Jackie. He's like, bro, she's a demon when she's drunk.
KFC
We've seen a little bit of that. You, you definitely. There's been a couple times we're like, sitting at a table at dinner and like, everyone, you have a couple martinis, whatever. And then like, there's just a shift. It's like, oh, Jackie's getting there.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, she allowed one. Like, yeah, you know she's drunk because her voice keeps getting higher. Like. Like when Clemmer gets drunk drunk, his hair starts here. And by the end of the night.
KFC
It'S like, yeah, you'll know Jackie's drunk when she. She'll start laughing at. At herself and her own jokes. And then she'll do this thing where she goes. That's what you really know. Yeah, that turns into, like, a dragon.
Jackie
Noise between, like, me, Bri, and Ella, from what I hear. Just, like, degenerate kind of drunk. Yeah, we're like. I could see a world in which that. That comes.
Feidelberg
When you say. Are you saying you, like, fight people?
Jackie
No, no.
KFC
She's, like, mischievous.
Jackie
Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I've been kind of messy lately, though.
KFC
Like. Like, she'll. I could see Jackie being like, let's, like, steal this sign, like, that kind of truck.
Nikki Smokes
You know what I mean?
KFC
Let's, like, around and, like, do something that's, like, mildly illegal or not allowed.
Nikki Smokes
Or something in the traffic cone. Oh, you guys don't do that.
Feidelberg
Nothing.
KFC
Somebody should do that now. That'd be a great episode of the Beach House. Shit's in a cone. All right, well, so when is it officially? It's the month of August.
Nikki Smokes
August 5th to September 5th.
KFC
So it's, like, the end of the summer, too. It's like, get to that labor day finish line.
Jackie
September 6th is my birthday, so we got to go all out.
KFC
And by the way, are you allowed to. You bring strangers into the house?
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, I'm sure.
Danny Conrad
I'm sure. Like, if you meet them at the bar or something. I don't know if they're going to be taking a flight with you from here to there, you know, But.
KFC
But I'm thinking, like, if you wanted to bring somebody home. Home.
Danny Conrad
Yeah.
KFC
Like on Summer House, though, like, this. This one guy, like, a new girl every weekend, he would just come home, put his towel over the camera. So, like, you'd have to show.
Danny Conrad
I've been watching it recently. Yeah.
KFC
Yeah, that guy just smashes.
Nikki Smokes
I would love a little, like, WWE to it, where they just, like, fly someone out. We have no idea.
KFC
Just drop in a surprise.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah. Just kicks the door open, smashes two bears.
KFC
I do wonder if there'll be a little element of that. Like, if there is, you know, they're like, if. I know the producers who do the challenge type shows are sadistic dick and are always like, yeah, we're gonna make them sleep outside. We're gonna, like, throw them off the top of a mountain. We're gonna. They are always putting us in precarious positions. So I wonder if they're gonna be like, yeah, no, it's just gonna be fun and it's like welcome your mom and your ex and your, you know, like.
Jackie
Well, it's also like, like Peyton's gonna be there. Hannah's gonna be like, we forgot that there's a whole other squad of like, like me. Phil's gonna be there.
Nikki Smokes
I Lowkey thinks competition.
Danny Conrad
You have to check under the bed every night for Meek Phil film.
Nikki Smokes
I do think the production people are gonna like play a role. Not, not in terms of like stirring up. But I feel like, you know, we put an honest work day in clips and then they're gonna start getting after it.
Danny Conrad
They do have their own house too though.
Nikki Smokes
Oh, they do.
KFC
That could be.
Nikki Smokes
That might be the real best dude. Behind the scenes people are the freakiest.
KFC
Imagine you're just like, let's check out what's going on in the Cliff House. And Meek's just like having threesomes. That's like when people got voted out of Survivor. I was, I remember saying, and the vote out house should have its own show. Like the cast, maybe the clip show.
Nikki Smokes
Clips house will be even Meek with.
Danny Conrad
A bottle of Hennessy in his hand.
KFC
All right, good man.
Danny Conrad
Thanks for having us on.
KFC
And so I guess the final question is like, who. Who walks away with Jackie's heart?
Nikki Smokes
I think you have to do it.
Danny Conrad
Time will tell. She's right there.
KFC
I don't care.
Jackie
We gotta save it for these house. We'll see how it goes.
KFC
Yeah, you guys should not be allowed to talk to each other for like.
Nikki Smokes
If he wasn't your co worker like, and you saw him when you're like, oh, he's cute.
Jackie
Yeah. I mean, yeah, there it is.
KFC
You're a cute dude.
Jackie
You're a cute dude.
KFC
I'd you.
Danny Conrad
Thanks. Oh, I was gonna bring this up. We, we ran into each other a while ago. She was at the old barstool Chicago office. But I think like you guys came first and like I just missed her. But it was the first time I met you when you walked in on me taking a. Oh, remember that? And you said the same thing. So that just reminded me of it. But yeah, hopefully it doesn't come full circle.
KFC
That's another thing. You might, you might see people in compromising positions.
Danny Conrad
Oh yeah. Bathrooms are like walking in my top questions.
KFC
Like, Jackie walks in right after you and she's like, whoa, what went on in here?
Danny Conrad
Katie's gonna foreclose that place we might have.
Nikki Smokes
The baby's open outside in the cone.
KFC
The KDIC outhouse. Orange cone. Go to the.
Danny Conrad
You go to the production house.
KFC
Do you know what that, like, do we have the house and everything?
Jackie
I think we have the house, but I haven't seen it.
KFC
But I'm interested if you guys are rough in it or if it's, like, glamorous and if you have, like a backyard or anything like that. That's some of the share houses down there. Like, I've lived in houses that were like this. The address is like 210 and a half. Literally has half written on the fucking. And it's like a shack. It's basically like a garage turned into a house, but it's like on the middle of someone's property. So you can go like that or you could have, like a beachfront, you know, mansion.
Jackie
I haven't. But I know that somebody was saying, like, they were like, oh, it's located, like, literally right off. And I was like, oh, so there's a house. And they're like, that there's a house. But I haven't asked anything about, like, bathrooms.
Nikki Smokes
I've heard conflicted reports on whether it's.
KFC
Gonna be like a. I'm also sure people have different standards, you know?
Nikki Smokes
Yeah, that too.
KFC
If. If, you know, I'm sure Brianna's version of nice and Mike Katie's version of nice are two very different worlds.
Nikki Smokes
You know, my thing is I. As long as the AC works in the house, I don't give a. Because, like, I'll just be out.
KFC
That's something. I could see them being like, this week we're cutting the ac.
Nikki Smokes
Like, that. That would suck.
Danny Conrad
I didn't think about that.
KFC
No water pressure.
Danny Conrad
Yeah, no, it'll be fine. Everything will be fine.
Nikki Smokes
I don't think they want us smelling and looking like.
Danny Conrad
Because you're cut. You're cutting our ac. You're cutting Brianna's AC too?
Nikki Smokes
Oh, yeah.
KFC
I would like, you know, real quick. Gonna run that joint. All right, good. All right.
Nikki Smokes
Appreciate it.
Danny Conrad
Thank you.
Nikki Smokes
Guys, guys.
Danny Conrad
I up what they had assigned me. I totally forgot Big Cat was like, you have to. You have to sneak in. Saying the word yak six times and one Stephen Che reference. I didn't do it. You guys doing ad reads?
KFC
We can also. We were actually going to do a little, like, a little more if you want to jump in.
Danny Conrad
Good.
KFC
Also, we could just do something funny where we could. You could just say yak, and you could just literally splice it in, you know? What? I mean, like.
Danny Conrad
Yeah, yeah.
KFC
Just like. Yeah, he wants.
Danny Conrad
He just wants to see the social clip. So if you just get me saying yeah, yeah, yeah, and I would splice it into a random clip.
KFC
I think I said it. I. You have to say it.
Danny Conrad
Yeah. Six times.
KFC
A lot of times.
Danny Conrad
I completely forgot. I was so distracted.
KFC
So. So Danny had an assignment to. He had to say yak six times and. And. And referenced Stephen Che and he just didn't do it.
Danny Conrad
We referenced Stephen Che too, with the KB dropping him.
KFC
Yeah. So that doesn't count. I think you have to say it.
Danny Conrad
Yeah.
KFC
Do you think there's going to be illicit drug use in the house?
Danny Conrad
Like someone snorting the yak?
KFC
I. I know that Nicky Smokes has been open about it. Maybe he's gonna.
Danny Conrad
My lips are closed. Yak. Don't talk back.
Jackie
Two.
Feidelberg
No, that's four, right?
KFC
Yak, yak, yak. And yeah.
Nikki Smokes
Yeah.
KFC
So that's three, I think. I think this could be a breakout year for you. Feidelberg's in the middle of his big year. This is the summer Feidelberg. We. He's doing stand up. He's done out of order mascots, tires.
Danny Conrad
And I've heard you acting on stage.
KFC
And he's gonna finish off with Bert at an arena. But I feel like this is a big year for you. You started with the, like, the Eddie in Chicago guys, and now are you. What are you doing now?
Danny Conrad
Yeah, now. So this year started off on the act full time, which is great. Get to yak with all my friends. I love the show, the act so much.
KFC
What's your favorite animal?
Danny Conrad
I would have to say probably a yak.
KFC
I'm a big fan of the actor.
Feidelberg
I'm an anteater guy, but that's not bad.
KFC
You know who I'm hoping there's like a. A surprise guest at the house. Like, who would be, like, the weirdest person? You hear a doorbell knock, and it's like, oh, they sent us a guest. And you open the door. Who is it?
Danny Conrad
Oh, the weirdest one would have to be Stephen Che. But he's not coming in. I'm closing the door. Right on. Harder than a Jehovah's Witness.
Feidelberg
I actually saw Che trip yesterday, and he thinks no one saw it.
KFC
And you got it.
Feidelberg
It was. There was no one on the basketball court. He tripped over a wire and I was. I was upstairs. The bird's eye guy.
KFC
You're gonna tell him? You.
Feidelberg
I. I almost texted him last night at midnight.
KFC
By the way, I saw you. Don't think you got away with that.
Feidelberg
Before you go to sleep, I want you to know I did see that.
Danny Conrad
I can ask the tech people for the tapes.
Feidelberg
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
KFC
Go tell them on the yak.
Danny Conrad
All right, I'm gonna go to the act now, guys.
Nikki Smokes
Thank you. Enjoy.
Danny Conrad
Thank you, bro. Thank you.
KFC Radio Episode Summary: "We're Having a Barstool Content Baby ft. Nicky Smokes and Danny Smokes"
In this lively and engaging episode of KFC Radio, hosted by KFC and Feidelberg, listeners are treated to an in-depth discussion about an exciting new venture within the Barstool Sports Network: the "Barstool Content Baby." Featuring special guests Nicky Smokes and Danny Smokes, the episode dives into the creative brainstorming, potential challenges, and anticipated dynamics of this unique content creation project.
The episode kicks off with Nikki Smokes presenting a novel content idea:
Nikki Smokes [00:09]: "Me and Annika have a baby, but we don't raise it. The office raises it."
Danny Conrad builds on this concept, adding his twist:
Danny Conrad [00:16]: "A communal baby in honor of my grandfather."
This humorous and unconventional idea sets the stage for the episode's exploration of collaborative content creation within the office environment.
KFC and Danny delve into the mechanics of the upcoming reality show, drawing comparisons to popular series like "Jersey Shore" and "Summer House." They discuss the unique aspects of their approach, emphasizing the absence of traditional confessionals and scripted narratives:
Danny Conrad [03:33]: "It's hard to visualize what it's going to be like because like no other reality shows have been filmed like this before."
They highlight the live, unfiltered nature of the show, anticipating both entertaining interactions and natural conflicts among the cast members.
The conversation shifts to the inevitable drama that arises from close living quarters. Feidelberg and KFC share anecdotes from past experiences, illustrating how everyday conflicts can become engaging content:
Feidelberg [05:42]: "I've seen them kind of snap at each other off camera here."
Danny adds his perspective on hiring dynamics and the introduction of new members, underscoring the potential for fresh tensions:
Danny Conrad [07:54]: "You guys also don't know the ones from Chicago that well because they're kind of hired last year."
A significant portion of the episode focuses on interpersonal relationships within the office, particularly the budding romance between Nikki Smokes and Danny Conrad. They discuss the challenges of filming romantic interactions and managing public perceptions:
Nikki Smokes [39:43]: "Like, I genuinely, like, do care about the girl."
The hosts ponder how these relationships will unfold in the constrained environment of the show, balancing personal connections with professional responsibilities.
KFC, Feidelberg, Nikki, and Danny brainstorm various content ideas to keep the show engaging. From the innovative concept of a communal baby to the integration of mounted cameras and spontaneous events, they explore multiple avenues for content creation:
KFC [43:29]: "Communal office baby is hilarious. There's an ice cream machine and a baby."
They also discuss the logistical aspects of filming, such as managing social clips versus full episodes and ensuring authentic interactions are captured.
The episode delves into the unique personalities of the staff members, including Una and Brie, and how their traits will influence the show's dynamics. Through humorous anecdotes and candid remarks, the hosts highlight the diversity and quirks that each member brings to the table:
Nikki Smokes [66:15]: "Ella is a wild card when she's hammered. She gets after, like, some you have not seen before."
As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the potential outcomes of the show, balancing the anticipation of fun moments with the reality of possible conflicts. They express excitement about the project's future and the rich content it promises:
KFC [77:20]: "I think it should be interesting."
For those who haven’t listened to the episode, this summary provides a comprehensive overview of the key discussions, insights, and humorous exchanges that make KFC Radio a must-listen for Barstool Sports enthusiasts.
Listen to every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime Members can enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music. For more details, visit barstool.link/kfcr.