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- [00:08]
Chloe
I think I'm gonna get a lot of for this podcast, but I'm ready for it.
- [00:13]
Tristan
Let's have a good show.
- [00:14]
Chloe
Have a good show. Don't hit my diamonds.
- [00:17]
Tristan
What I'm doing right now is pivoting into AI and tech. Imagine now using autonomous drones. Machines.
- [00:24]
Chloe
Autonomous. Where do you get these words from? Never had such a scholar on this podcast before. We're in a totally different phase. And I think when you said that comment, you mean like the person that you know now, like, there's just a different level of respect. Tristan and I don't like, hang out if it's not with the kids.
- [00:43]
Tristan
I mean, you did come over hookah
- [00:45]
Chloe
one time in five years, you're gonna throw that in my face? Some of your answers are insane, like, long winded. And I don't even know what we're talking about.
- [00:53]
Tristan
I'm long winded.
- [00:54]
Chloe
Do you wanna have more kids in the future?
- [00:56]
Tristan
Sometimes you gotta lay them nuts on the table. What? Okay, Trisman, I mean, I think the narrative. Okay, she's cutting me off. Like your long answers for everything. And I can't give my long answers like this.
- [01:09]
Chloe
No, no, go ahead. We have all the time in the world. I think I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this podcast, but I'm ready for it. I don't think people realize that five years have gone by since you and I have broken up. But I don't think people realize how much time has gone on and how much life has happened and that you and I have worked hard to get to the place where we are now that I'm inviting you on the pod and you're agreeing and we're just gonna sit and have a chit chat. Would you agree?
- [01:50]
Tristan
Yeah. I mean, a lot of life has passed. I think is beautiful that you want to bring this to life and us. Us have a conversation. At the end of the day, you know, we are friends first and foremost and we have two beautiful children together. So I think it's. It's healthy for people to see two parents that aren't romantically involved still have a. A positive dynamic and. And are in a good place.
- [02:20]
Chloe
I couldn't agree more. And I think I had such a great example with my parents and seeing even if there was fighting. Cause I'm sure there was, but I don't remember any of that. I don't think I was privy to that. And seeing my stepdad and my dad spend time together and everything just seems so fluid. I think that's why I've always been so adamant about the kids won't see us fight. I want you to be as active and present as you wanna be in their lives. And I don't ever wanna be the reason when my kids get older and they say, why wasn't daddy around? And then it would be me. Like, I'm so proud of both of us, but really proud of myself that whatever adult drama we have, I keep it to the adults and we handle it privately and as responsibly as possible. We know it's all about the kids and letting them have the best childhood and memories. And I think we've done a really good job, but also being true to ourselves. Like if we are mad at each other, we have our conversations. The kids aren't involved.
- [03:21]
Tristan
Yeah. I think the most important thing with having children is about always conducting yourself, the respect around the mother, the father, because kids hear everything, they remember everything. And I think we do a good job at that. I think like any humans, you're going to have your disagreements and you're going to bump heads, but I think we do a good job keeping that pride away from your kids. And I think we have matured enough over the five years where I think maybe earlier those arguments might have been a little bit more emotionally based and I think now it's more so just wanting the best for our tribe and our little ones.
- [03:59]
Chloe
Are you nervous to be on the pod?
- [04:01]
Tristan
No, not at all.
- [04:02]
Chloe
You feel like you haven't done a lot of podcasts until what, the last year or so?
- [04:09]
Tristan
I wasn't really for jumping a lot of podcasts because at the time I knew what the narrative was going to shift to and what people were going to talk about. And I think understanding how podcasts and this is the new form of media, to be quite frank with you, I just didn't want people to monetize my story because at the end of day, if it's going to be my story, I might as well monetize the best out of it. I mean, I think your family's a clear example of know, telling your own narrative, controlling your own narrative and story because who is it on someone else. At the end of the day, if someone else is writing your own book, it's never going to be as accurate. So for me it was always about just like waiting till the time was right. Yes, I've done a couple podcasts, but I think there are more not cultural and like family relationship based. You know, the last one I was
- [05:00]
Chloe
on, more career forward.
- [05:01]
Tristan
More career forward. More in that Lane of what's. What's next, the evolution of. Of myself. But of course, you know, you asked me to come on here, and I'm, you know, more than welcome to do that and very proud of you for your second season, and you've done a great job, and you got some really good, badass guests. So I said, why not add myself to the. To the Chloe. Chloe in Wonderland wall of fame?
- [05:23]
Chloe
Why, thank you.
- [05:24]
Tristan
Curious. Are you nervous?
- [05:26]
Chloe
No.
- [05:26]
Tristan
Okay.
- [05:27]
Chloe
I'm not nervous at all. I think I want to make sure I do a good job of addressing everything. But still, you know, not dwelling on things that you and I don't really dwell about because we've done healing and moved past them.
- [05:41]
Tristan
No, it's funny, because even when I was telling a couple people that I was jumping on the podcast, obviously people are not in our inner circle that see us every day. They're like, oh, wow, really? And I'm like, guys, it's been, like, five years and counting. And at the end of the day, I always tell people, it's like, that's my family. Right? And we're going to be family. Regardless whether you like me one day or you don't, we're still gonna be family.
- [06:04]
Chloe
Oh, and that happens?
- [06:06]
Tristan
Of course.
- [06:06]
Chloe
I mean, there's days that I'm like, tristan, I fucking hate you. You're not talking to me for the rest of the week. And then I hang up on him, and we don't talk, and then, you know, Tristan and I will get into it.
- [06:17]
Tristan
Well, I think that's just family in general. You know, sometimes you get me riled up, so sometimes we just need, like, a breathing session. But that's family. There's moments in times where I'm sure you can't stand your siblings, and there's definitely moments in times where sometimes I can't stand with siblings. So, I mean, that's just family. That's what family goes through. And I think here we are.
- [06:35]
Chloe
Speaking of family, why don't you tell people a little bit about yours? How many siblings do you have? Like, lay it out for people?
- [06:45]
Tristan
Well, I'm the oldest of four. You have myself, Deshawn, Daniel and Amari. Me and DeShawn are three years apart in age. Old Mark. Correct. Four years, because I just turned 35. I'm getting old. Daniel is 20, going on to 21, and Amari's 19. Daniel and DeShawn live in Toronto still. That's where I'm from. Born and raised. Shout out to six. And then Amari, the youngest, he Lives here with us, I would say here in Southern California. Obviously, once my mom passed away, I took on that responsibility, which was very important to me. And not just myself, I think our whole tribe. When I say tribe, it's. It extends from not just me and you. It goes, you know, obviously our amazing, you know, caregivers, Alba in the well, but also, you know, Savaz, your mom, your sisters, you know, our housekeepers, everyone that's. Everyone that's part of this. This world of ours that has their hands to help however they can to. Whether it's a small lift or a heavy lift, everyone's a part of this. To be honest, I know a lot of people when they go through grief and tough times, people will send you a text, people will show up for a funeral, but then they disappear, right? And it's really about who are the ones that stick with you during these times that still have your back and always not just text you that they're willing to offer help or grace, but actually show what their actions. And I think a lot of people, for me, I give a lot of flowers to not just you, but everyone that's been part of this.
- [08:19]
Chloe
Well, thank you. Tristan's brother Amari has a syndrome called lgs, and it's something. It's a chromosome disorder. He was born that way. Tristan's mom was a single mother, and Tristan's mom, Andrea. Andrea was the sole provider and caretaker for Amari. And so when Andrea died suddenly, she died of a heart attack. And suddenly, out of the blue, Amari was left without a caretaker. And so Tristan, because Tristan always lived in the United States for playing in the NBA, they all lived in Toronto. And when we were there handling stuff for your mom's passing and the funeral, it was in that moment that you were like, well, Amari's coming home with us. Like, it wasn't even a thought. And we were blessed enough that Kim had her plane and we were able to transfer Amari back and figure it all out really quickly. And yes, like you said, we needed all the help we can get because Tristan is going through this grieving process of losing his mother. Suddenly, there's so many unexpected things and then having to then figure out what. How do we become responsible for Amari? So at that time, I don't even think Tristan and I were actually really even talking very much. And of course, when something horrible and horrific happens, like the loss of a parent, we put all of our BS aside and we just, as my family, that's what we do. We stick together. And we help one another.
- [09:57]
Tristan
Yeah. That's what family does. I mean, very. I mean, obviously it's not the same, but I mean, even when, when you went through your surgery, whether it was with tumor or something. Right. And you know, obviously it's not the same level, but everyone was there for you. That's what family's about. Right.
- [10:12]
Chloe
It's not.
- [10:12]
Tristan
It's not just conditional, it's unconditional. Right. So like you said, we might have not been speaking, or we might have been speaking very vaguely, but, you know, family always step up during times of need.
- [10:23]
Chloe
Yeah. Or they should. You hope they really should. How has it been with that transition of taking care of Amari for you? Because I also want to point out Tristan moved to America at a very young age because he was and is the sole financial provider for his family.
- [10:43]
Tristan
I moved to the States when I was 16. I was begging my mom, probably since the age of 13, to want to move to the United States because the reality was I knew that basketball was going to be our way to having as close enough to financial freedom as possible, we might have or be able to achieve. So I said, I remember I used to write notes to my mom and letters to like, why I need to go play in the United States. Because the reality at the time, you know, Canadian basketball wasn't that great. You know, imagine being in the eighth grade playing with guys that are sophomore and juniors and competing with them. It's just your window of growth is so small. So it wasn't really until I started to play really more travel ball and travel to the States a lot. My mom seeing when going to these tournaments how much attention and love I was getting from, you know, coaches and scouts in the States where she knew that this could actually be a real career path. And for me, I decided, you know, I'm willing to sacrifice my teenage years of, you know, whether it's going to prom or going to movies or just like just being a teenager. Right. And I said, you know, I'd rather sacrifice that because I'm playing for a bigger goal. Our goal is to, like, tell your parents, you're like, you don't ever have to work again. Retire your parents. I think that's one of the most rewarding gifts you can give because our parents sacrificed so much and even so much more behind the scenes that we don't even see. So being able to give that gift, that was always my goal. I remember I was a kid that used to put on post it notes what my goals were. And I used to Put them on my mirror in my bathroom. And I remember, you know, it said, be number one player in the country in high school, become a McDonald's All American. Which in that time you're basically the top 24 high school players. So that's a prestigious thing. You know, Michael Jordan, all the greats were a part of that game. Going to high division one, college and making the NBA and you know, and
- [12:30]
Chloe
did you do any of those things?
- [12:31]
Tristan
I, I achieved every single goal of mine on that note. But then I, you know, it's crazy when we're kids, you know, little things like that, we might think it means nothing, but it's like you're manifesting it right? In the morning when you're brushing your teeth, you're seeing it. It's crazy. Now at the age of 34, now 35, I've kind of got back to those kid roots now where I have a whiteboard in my office and I write down my goals. And I think I remember you mentioned it a couple New Year's Eves ago. Mood board. Right. You know, manifesting. I think you're, you're a big believer of that and you know, we had that as children and now I'm bringing it back now to my adult years and I feel like it's working.
- [13:11]
Chloe
I love that it is. And it's writing your thoughts out, writing that it's, you're believing it and you have to do it from a perspective that you're not saying one day like you have to believe it's happening now. And you saying one of your kids goals is to retire their parents. What did your mom do as a career and were you able to retire your mother?
- [13:33]
Tristan
My mom having me at 21, very young, really didn't have the means and the, the living setup situation to really take care of me on her own with my dad at the time. So my grandma raised me. The reason why I write left hand is because my, my grandma, I spent a lot of time with her my first three to four years until my mom was able to financially, you know, take over and have me, you know, for a full time, full time routine. But you know, I think that's part of where I get this hard work. You know, I remember my mom having three jobs, bagging groceries, being a school bus driver and babysitting kids. And I think that work ethic kind of that DNA, it fell into my, my, my, my soul and spirit as well. I mean, if you look at my career, the way that I play the game, it's always Been the guy that's punched the clock in and done all the. The little things that might not show up on the box core, but it's what takes to win. And, you know, I learned that from my mom, that hard work always beats talent when talent doesn't work hard. So I think I'm very, very fortunate to learn a lot from her. Grew up in government housing. When you're young, you think that's, like, great living. And I remember talking to my friend Rel, and I used to remember, like, on the weekends, I would go to my cousin's house a lot. And I remember, like, starting to replay, like, the areas they lived in. And I said, man, I had an apartment on, like, the 14th floor, but they had homes. And then my buddy Rel was like, yeah, they're probably. Their parents are probably doing pretty well, and. But when you're a kid, you don't notice the difference. You're so numb to that stuff. But then as you start to replay it, you know, you realize, like, my parents worked tooth and nail to provide for us and those same sacrifices. I wanted to, you know, pay it, pay it back, pay it forward.
- [15:15]
Chloe
And were you able to.
- [15:16]
Tristan
Yeah. I remember June 26, 2011, in Newark, New Jersey, Prudential center, getting drafted, number four pick overall, shaking David Stern's hand. That was one of the greatest feelings in my life. Being able to just look at my mom and, you know, ESPN camera panning to her and, you know, showing her love and talking about her story and how it meant a lot to me was a great feeling. But that was just the beginning.
- [15:49]
Chloe
And was. She retired that day.
- [15:50]
Tristan
That moment.
- [15:51]
Chloe
Wow.
- [15:52]
Tristan
Moment. That moment, she never. She never drove a school bus again, never bagged the grocery, never babysit, never had to do all that. And the reason why I wanted her to just focus on Amari, right? That's a lot. I remember she used to bring Amari on the school bus and have to do all that. And that was. That's a lot. That's a lot for anyone. That's the physical, the battle and everything, right? It's just tough on a parent. And especially, like, I always judge. Always tell people, like, you know, you judge someone based on how they treat their family and how they take care of your mom.
- [16:22]
Chloe
You guys know how much I love the art of gift giving. I always still love sending a candle or a beautiful bouquet. Those gifts are classics for a reason. But lately, I've been way more into giving experiences over things, something the person is actually going to remember forever. A concert, a Game, a show, something. Something really, really special. Which is why I want to give a huge shout out to the sponsor of today's episode, SeatGeek. With over 35 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. And honestly, it's become my go to for exactly this concert season has officially started. To make it even better, you can use code CHLOE10 for 10% off your SeatGeek tickets. That's 10% off tickets with promo code CHLOE10. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek. Concerts, sports festivals, and more. So whatever the person you're buying for is into, it's on there. There is something for literally everyone. And the US Is hosting the World cup this year. So if you have a soccer person in your life, that is your moment to shine. What I love is that every ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're going to get a good deal before you even buy it. Green dot means good, red means keep looking. It's so simple. And every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee, so you're completely covered. Honestly, tickets are one of my favorite gifts to give because you're not just giving them a thing, you're giving. You're giving them a whole night, an entire memory. That's everything to me. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app. Have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek. Okay, you guys know how much I love snacking and today's segment is really fun. I'm so excited to play Kiss, Marry Kill. It's brought to you by Weight Watchers and we're talking about their zero point foods. Now, if you're on any kind of wellness journey or you're just trying to feel a little more balanced having go to foods that you don't have to overthink, that's a win. Zero point foods are basically those staples you can build meals around without stressing every little choice, which I love because life is already complicated enough as you've heard me talk about on the podcast a ton. So many of my friends are using and loving Weight Watchers and they swear by Zero point foods, whether that be as a source of fuel and energy throughout the day or hacks to give their go to recipes a new life. And the best part, you don't have to even track them. Weight Watchers is all about choice. So with that, we're putting a little spin on a classic. Kiss, Marry, Kill. I'm going to Be given three zero point foods and I have to decide which one I'd want to kiss, which one I'd want to marry and which one I'd want to. I'm sorry, not keep around, AKA kill. So let's do it. I'm excited to play caviar, kiwi or cottage cheese? Okay. I'm going to marry cottage cheese. I'm going to kill caviar and I'll kiss kiwi. And I'm saying that because also cottage cheese with all the protein, you know, Big fan. Next one is lobster, eggs or chickpeas. I'm going to marry eggs. Hmm. Maybe kiss chickpeas. I'm sure that's going to get a lot of commentary. I know. And kill lobster. Sorry, sorry. Lobster. Okay, next one. Tuna, mango or edamame. Oh my God, I love edamame. So I'm marrying edamame. I didn't know that a mango would be on the zero points list. Hell yeah. This is a hard one. Okay, definitely marry edamame, kiss a mango and kill the tuna. Oy. Strawberries, sweet potato or Greek yogurt? Damn, man, these are good snacks. By the way, Mary. Strawberries, kiss a sweet potato. Bye. Bye. Greek yogurt. Sardines, arugula and beans. Sardines. You're killed. Sorry. Let's marry arugula and kiss beans. Oysters, beets and grilled chicken. I'm gonna marry grilled chicken. I'm gonna kiss a beet and I will not do anything with an oyster. Nothing. Apples, shrimp or grapefruit? Merry. Apples. Kiss. Grapefruit. No shrimp. Hard boiled eggs. Apricots, Spaghetti squash. Damn, this is a good one too. Let's marry hard boiled eggs. Let's kiss. Spaghetti squash and apricots. I do love them, but we could kill em. Okay, that was actually way harder than expected. But a lot of fun. And honestly, doesn't it just show how many more options there are when it comes to zero point foods? Like, that was a lot of snacks. You can mix, match, build meals, whatever works for your lifestyle and your goals. And if you're interested in trying Weight watchers, go to weightwatchers.com, use code Chloe and get an extra 20% off your first month. Offer applies to select plans, restrictions apply. And the offer ends May 31, 2026. A huge thank you to Weight Watchers for sponsoring this segment. And now I kind of want a snack. And where is your dad in all of this?
- [22:37]
Tristan
My dad, growing up, he was around. He was a construction worker, so he'd be up at 6 o', clock, you know, doing construction work. And then he pivoted to doing truck driving. And you know, I still tell people, I remember my dad one time he drove from Toronto, Canada to Miami, Florida in less than 24 hours. So that was pretty impressive. But I think also, like, I give him a lot of credit too, because he was a hard worker. I just. I think I just grew up in a house with just hard working individuals and great human beings. Maybe some of them misunderstood and maybe, you know, we're not all perfect. Could. Could my upbringing be better? Yes. Do I wish my parents had a better dynamic? Totally. Do I wish my dad was maybe more involved or maybe better to my mom? Totally. But you know, that's life, right? Nothing can be perfect. And it's just about how can the kids, the next generation, be better when
- [23:36]
Chloe
it comes to Amari? Something that even actually for all of my nieces and nephews, including my own kids, I love that we have Amari for so many reasons. When your mom was here, obviously we saw Amari, but it would be so seldomly, especially the cousins. Not all of them got to see him frequently. Now that we have Amari full time, I'm so happy that they get to be exposed to someone as special as Amari is. And I feel like they get to ask all those questions privately that maybe they wouldn't either know how to act or like, we were at True's birthday party and Amari was there and a little girl came up to me and said, why isn't he talking? And I said, oh, he can't talk. And she's like four. And she goes, did Ursula take his voice?
- [24:29]
Tristan
I remember hearing that, yeah.
- [24:30]
Chloe
And I said, who's Ursula? Like, I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, Ariel. And I was like, oh my gosh, that is the cutest. Like the way that child connected the dots. I thought it was so innocent, so pure. I'm not offended. I love that people ask and even are curious about Amari. But those questions, I think if you're in the real world or to a stranger, someone might be offended. Like, I love the exposure the kids get. I love hopefully the empathy and understanding that they get to take away from being around Amari. Losing your mom, has it made you show up as a parent in a different way? Like, do you think if your mom was here, do you think you would be a different type of parent?
- [25:15]
Tristan
I don't think I'd be a different parent. I think losing my mom made me realize That I think this is the first thing. I think you're never gonna cry or be as sad as the way you're gonna feel when you lose a mother. And I remember getting that advice from a barber in Miami one time. Crazy enough. And when my mom did pass, I remember his voice replaying in my brain saying, you're never gonna cry until your mom passes away. But I think for me, I realized that, you know, I think I dedicated my life so much to just make her proud and make her happy and, you know, losing her, I realized that at some point in time, we got to pivot and, like, you got to make yourself happy first, right? Like, you got to love yourself from within. And I think sometimes in our world, we spend so much time giving energy to things that don't really matter and forgetting, like, it starts with us. Like, I can't help you if I can't help myself. I can't help my kids if I can't help myself. So I think that's the biggest takeaway from all this is like, learning to love myself and just being there for myself and making myself happy. But I'll say, during that grieving process, I think I poured more into my kids because that was the one area where I knew I had, like, that love that was just unconditional. Unconditional. But it was just more like, you were just like, you're the Superman. You're the superhero. And even if you're going through a bad. Even if you're having a bad day, the kids will want to go on a trampoline or go bike riding or get ice cream.
- [26:37]
Chloe
Like, well, children are very healing because they are so innocent and pure. And you also look at them, and then you. It just puts life into perspective, especially during a loss. So I understand that.
- [26:51]
Tristan
Yeah, it's just like, you just pour into them more. And I always tell people they helped me get out of that dark hole. The kids. I think not just our. The children we share and my oldest, but also, like, you know, the cousins, you know, nieces and nephews that I have. I think that whole. That whole little young bunch of brilliant, young, creative minds helped me a lot.
- [27:15]
Chloe
They do. And, I mean, people always wonder why I want to be with the kids all the time. I'm like, why would I not? They're the best. And True looks so much like your mom.
- [27:25]
Tristan
No, she does. That's why when I look at True, I remember. Remember at the school, they used to do, like, the kindergarten recitals. They used to sing at the end, like, last Day of school. Yeah. Like I remember just looking at her one time and just like, kid you not just like seeing my mom's face. And I remember like shedding a tear just because it's like they resemble each other so much and they have so many like their, their, their characteristics in terms of like being able to feel and being empathetic and just being just like their heart is so, like just, it's just like a crystal ball. It's just so pure and amazing and you just cannot just love on them
- [27:58]
Chloe
like for co parenting. Did you expect our co parenting to go the way that it goes?
- [28:05]
Tristan
What was my expectations going into co parenting with you?
- [28:08]
Chloe
I guess, yeah.
- [28:09]
Tristan
The fact that you were brought up in a household where co parenting was part of your guys everyday life. I think I never ever crossed my mind whether or not it was going to be able to work. I think it was going to be more so can we come to a place of maturity where emotionally we don't get frustrated because of maybe our relationship not working or being where we're at, you know, where we would probably want to be or maybe should have been in our personal relationship. That was probably only the one area where you, you wonder like, how's this gonna look? But I always knew it would work because you grew. It's not, it's not foreign to you. Obviously it's new for me, but I feel like, you know, I'm a chameleon and you're such a, you know, chill person. So I was never worried about the co parenting part. Cause I think it's, you know, you're around it.
- [28:59]
Chloe
I always am like, why is Tristan around? Like, that's always a question I see. Which I find so insane because I'm like, well, Tristan is the father of my kids and Tristan will be around as long as, you know, you want to be around and you want to be present in your kids lives. If I don't have to do two separate birthday parties and to this I don't want to, that's not the way it should be. So. And also I do think people forget five years have gone by since we've broken up. You and I have dealt with a lot of really personal things during those five years you've had. The loss of your mother, I think the loss of any parent is the most, it's the most transformative and horrible experience to ever go through. Also the care of your brother, that's like one of the most serious responsibilities and having to go through that. I think that when you and I were together, you probably, obviously, you just thought, oh, I don't know what you thought. I'm gonna say what I think you thought. When you and I were together, it's like, oh, this is great, but I got this. This girl's here. You can do whatever you want. I think after the true cheating when I stayed, I'm sure that let you even subconsciously think, oh, I can do this again. She'll stay again and again. Who knows? I'm giving you what I'm thinking. Then when you and I really broke up, you and I definitely weren't talking for a little bit. But then with the loss of your mother and all these things, I think you started to see me in a different light. You started to see me in like, wow, she's really there for me. And she's there for me when she doesn't have to be. And we started to connect on very serious matters, whether it be, you know, grief and death or now we have to communicate for the care of Amari and how do we do so and still co parent. And I think it just made you see me in a different light. And we became really good friends. And now we lean on each other in a friendship way. You're a great dad. I love how much time you want to spend with your kids. I never want to take that away from my children because they, of course love you. You're their father. And I think you and I have grown to have this different level of respect. And we just have a totally different relationship than we did when we were dating. Like, I saw you did a podcast and you were like, I would do anything for Chloe. And I saw a lot of the comments were like, oh, you would do anything but be faithful. That was one of them that bothered me because, yes, you've done dumb shit, but also, it was so many years ago. I'm not excusing it. I'm saying we're in a totally different phase now. And I think when you said that comment that you would do anything for me, you mean like the person that you know now? Like, there's just a different level of respect? I think a much more mature level of respect. And it's without intimacy, which I think is also a much deeper level, because what's keeping us here is true, solid qualities about one another. There's no intimacy distracting or tainting our thought process here. We also live in the same community. The. There's so many things that why shouldn't you be around? I think as long as you keep your own personal issues out of it for me. The more the merrier when it comes to our kids.
- [32:17]
Tristan
Yeah. No, I think, I think that's what's the most beautiful thing about this podcast that we're doing is that we are showing people that co parenting can work. And I think the reason why people ask you that question is because other people, or maybe themselves, them and whoever their old or ex significant other is, there's a, there's no, there's no sign of respect. I think it starts with respect. I think the fact that we both respect each other, that's the pillar. Right. You can't have a good co parenting relationship if you don't respect the other person. And you know, when people break up and whether you have a baby mom or baby daddy, there's a lot of, there's a lot of disrespect that happens. I think it's whether it's someone is, you know, maybe publicly dating where people think it's too early, or maybe one might do something very disrespectful. Maybe like we're just making it up, like talk on social media, bad about someone. Right. Like it all stems from like disrespect. And I think more people are used to co parents being disrespectful than actually learning to just be respectful and loving. And starting from there, I think so the people that say that is because they don't see that too often.
- [33:25]
Chloe
But I also think, like, just to keep it real, you and I can be disrespectful.
- [33:28]
Tristan
Yeah.
- [33:28]
Chloe
But I think keep that private. But I think because it's natural to be like, get the out or whatever.
- [33:35]
Tristan
But that's, that's, that's, that's just anger. Right.
- [33:36]
Chloe
I mean, I get deeper level. But also. Yes. What I hear is people will be like, why don't you give that same energy to Tristan? Listen, I've given you all the energy, but I'm not going to do it on a public platform because my kids will see that one day. You're the only person I have kids with. So I can give every other person public energy all I want. I'm not going to give it to you because that's just not how my brain works for the sake of my kids. If we didn't have kids, it would be a different story. But I also wouldn't be hanging out with you now. If we didn't have kids, it would just be a different situation. And so I don't know why people can't see it from that perspective.
- [34:16]
Tristan
I mean, that's all they see.
- [34:18]
Chloe
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- [35:54]
Sponsor Voice
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- [37:29]
Tristan
The reality is, like, listen, guys, fight. Like the person we were. The person we were five years ago is totally different now. We've had real life happen to us, but we've grown. And I think people worry about too much of the past. And like, when. I mean, like, people, not us, I think, like, we've. I've had our conversations, you know, of course we've done things we're not proud of. I've done things I'm not proud of. Anyways, this down the third. And it doesn't mean we take it away.
- [38:01]
Chloe
You.
- [38:01]
Tristan
Yes, me. But. Yeah, but I'm just saying there's times where you might have said something to me that was very disrespectful.
- [38:05]
Chloe
I'm proud of all of those things I've said to you.
- [38:08]
Tristan
What do you mean?
- [38:09]
Chloe
The most dirty and disrespectful things I've said, I do not take back.
- [38:13]
Tristan
Okay.
- [38:14]
Chloe
Yeah.
- [38:15]
Tristan
Like I said, we've all done things that might have accepted.
- [38:18]
Chloe
Thank you.
- [38:19]
Tristan
Upset the other side.
- [38:20]
Chloe
Yep. And I'm fine with it.
- [38:22]
Tristan
And that's fine. You're allowed to feel the way you feel and I can feel the way I feel. But the most important thing now is that we are evolving each and every day. And the ones that want to harp on the past, that's for them to keep doing that. And that's a shame because they're gonna miss out on a great podcast between us in terms of evolution.
- [38:39]
Chloe
What. I don't know what that last sentence is. What I will say is at the beginning and like, for anyone, that. Because people always say, how do you get to that point? That's a question I get. So I will say it's not easy to get to that point of, like, real forgiveness. I would say number one. For me, it's. I do think it takes one person to just sort of like, be the one that's like, you know what? I'm not gonna let this bother me. Like, you have to let things go. Pick and choose your battles. Cause it's really easy to just be petty and nitpick every little thing. But one person does have to be the one that's like, it's okay. Okay, let's move on. Let's work past this. I've been going to therapy, and that helped a lot for me, I think. And also, I like, I've discovered during my therapy journey that I have very. You're gonna laugh at me, but I'm very, like, emotionally mature. And by saying that, I know you're gonna laugh at me like, I'm very emotionally mature, which means, like, it is a gift and a curse, but it means that even when you do something wrong, I have so much empathy for why you acted a certain way. Not saying I'm excusing it, not saying I'm condoning it. It's just saying I can understand. Oh, okay. You're an adult now. This is stemming from something to do when you were a child, how you were treated at some point. This is not something on me. I'm not deserving of this.
- [40:10]
Tristan
Agreed.
- [40:11]
Chloe
Agreed. Good for you. What I do appreciate about you is how much you. I would say either trust me or respect me, baby. It's both. When it comes to parenting, if I'm picking a school or a doctor or this, you trust me enough. Knowing that always my first goal in life is for their protection and their safety. And you're. You're always so good at, like, trusting me with that. That eliminates so much tension. Because I do know a lot of parents, co parents, are nitpicky just for the sake of being nitpicky.
- [40:45]
Tristan
I think half the time they nitpick is because they actually, like, don't like each other. You know, when you. You know, when you don't like someone, you'll find any reason to be upset with them or any reason just to be combative, just to, like, just to, like, cause a shitstorm. So I think the reason why we don't have that issue, parenting is a bunch of things. I think the way your father raised you guys and the way I was raised was very a throwback, old school way, an old school mentality, which I think we're on the same line with that. So that's one reason why I think it works for us. And I. And I'm. And I always tell people, I don't have to worry about Chloe when it comes to parenting our children because the way we were brought very similar, you know, Armenian household, Jamaican household. There's some traditions and values that were there that have stuck with our parenting skills. I think you don't let society dictate how you parent. And for someone, you know, for us as, like, celebrities or people of status, sometimes Others that are in our position get kind of fall into this kind of, like, sheep mentality and go with the wave. And I think we're just more shepherds on how we like to run our house. Not saying the way you run our house is the right way, but it works for us, and that's all that really matters.
- [41:55]
Chloe
What? Is something funny that either of the kids have done to make you laugh recently?
- [42:04]
Tristan
I mean, I love when Tatum calls you, like, Chloe or, like, Auntie Coco. Like, Tatum, like, purposely trolls you.
- [42:12]
Chloe
Yeah.
- [42:12]
Tristan
And it's almost like. It's like. Like, it's like me, Rob, and, like, Taylor. We're just like. Like to troll you all the time. He must be like, I don't know what, the sun rising, mooning. He might be like a Pisces in one of those things. I don't know much about that stuff, but, yeah, I think I love when Tatum trolls you.
- [42:32]
Chloe
Great.
- [42:32]
Tristan
It's very funny, and you know that. But also, it's like, I think he has a. Obviously, I wasn't around for your childhood, but I think there's a lot of you and him. So you. I think you like to say it's Rob, but I think, like, you and Rob are like twins. So it's, like, really like you.
- [42:53]
Chloe
Oh, you're not like twins.
- [42:54]
Tristan
You guys are like twins. You guys have a lot of similarities. Just you guys just, you know, do we're similar. Very similar.
- [43:00]
Chloe
Very different.
- [43:00]
Tristan
Very similar. If you ask OG Chris, she will say, oh, gosh.
- [43:05]
Chloe
What qualities do your kids have that remind you of you?
- [43:12]
Tristan
Okay with True. The quality that she has of yours is your heart and, like, caring for other people. And, you know, True's the type of person that will, you know, give her last jelly bean to a kid that maybe is hungry or wants the snack. Very similar to you. A quality of True has of me. Mine is, you know, she looks like me. You know, she has long legs like me.
- [43:41]
Chloe
She's great at math.
- [43:43]
Tristan
Great at math like me. Yeah. That was a strong suit of mine. I never, never enjoyed reading.
- [43:48]
Chloe
And what about Tatum?
- [43:49]
Tristan
Tatum. He is his energy. Yeah, his energy, like, high energy. I mean, it makes sense. Like, when I look at him, I'm like, no wonder I can rebound and play hard for 48 minutes and not get tired. It's in him. He's. He's. He's got that ball of energy, but he has that this sweet side where he just wants to, like, grab your face and kiss you, and he's like, mommy, come. And he just holds your face and then after that, he's like, oh, time
- [44:17]
Chloe
to go run around something that I do love and appreciate you as a father. Because I'm like this too. And I didn't realize how much I should have realized. Cause my dad was always really goofy and, like, got down and played with us. He was never too, like, grown to be with us. My dad was always a big kid. And you are like that with the kids. And I love that. Like, I think that's a great quality for anyone to have, is you can buy your kids anything, but they really just want you to get down and play with them. And when you play with them or when you're being silly and dancing with them, like, that means so much to them. I know they might not see that now, but definitely when they're older, they will look back. Cause we do. And I'll be like, oh, my dad in the pool. And like, the things he would do, and he would just do silly dances. And so that's one quality that I love as a father about you and I think is really great. And they love it.
- [45:12]
Tristan
Yeah, I think it's. It's those memories, right? I mean, I never got to share those memories with my dad. Maybe it was because, you know, he was working long hours trying to provide for us. I don't know what the reason. Maybe he was just not around to not be around. But for me, it was just, you know, like you said, kids remember everything. Because even me, I remember, like, moments that are not the greatest that I experienced with my dad. But you always take it with you. Kids never forget. So it's important. But I think it's even more when you're losing my mom. Being able to pour into them, it just doesn't stop. Right. It's not just because of me grieving. I pour into them. It's just. It's a continued thing. And, you know, I like to be able to joke around and. But that's the only reason why I wanted to have kids at a young age. Because I never wanted to be that
- [45:53]
Chloe
you wanting to have kids at a young age was planned. Well, I'm just asking.
- [45:57]
Tristan
I mean, I knew I always want to have kids at a young age. I don't. I mean.
- [45:59]
Chloe
How would your face look? Terrified. No, I mean, it was just a question.
- [46:05]
Tristan
Listen, the most important thing is that I want to have my kids at a young age. Because I wanted not to be the old guy at graduation. I wanted to be the young dad, was, like, hip, tapped in, like, be able to play with my kids.
- [46:16]
Chloe
That wasn't like, some gotcha question.
- [46:18]
Tristan
I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure.
- [46:20]
Chloe
Do you ever feel uncomfortable at, like, the birthday parties or, like, the family events?
- [46:27]
Tristan
Not as a late. I would say this.
- [46:29]
Chloe
I would say definitely her first birthday was horrible.
- [46:34]
Tristan
Oh, yeah. That first birthday was.
- [46:35]
Chloe
That was tragic.
- [46:37]
Tristan
It was. Yeah. It was a. You be. You know what? It was so much feelings and, like, energy behind it. I mean, like, the reality is, like, think about it, because even during that time, I was still, like, sending you flowers.
- [46:52]
Chloe
Yeah.
- [46:53]
Tristan
And writing you cards. So of course, like, I was trying to, like, bring us back together. But obviously, you know, being at the first birthday of. Of our. Of our daughter and. And having that emotion and still, you know, loving, caring about you, of course there's going to be a lot of emotions, and sometimes when you're not able to control, that happens. And I think it's. It's early because I think it's like, damn, I wish I had my family together to do all this, like, a family thing. But as time progresses and I realize, like, I think we are in the best place we've ever been. Even. I think we're better now as, like, our dynamic, like, our connectivity is better now than even when we were together.
- [47:35]
Chloe
I agree. Who do you think the stricter parent is?
- [47:38]
Tristan
I think because the kids spend more time with you, I think you might be more strict.
- [47:42]
Chloe
But I do that intentionally. Well, you have to, right? I've said to Tristan, because they live with me full time, I don't want. When Tristan comes around, if he's this strict parent, and then them be like, dad's here and, like, big, bad boss is here. Talk. Yeah. Like, but he's strict. Or he'll say something to me. But I say, let me discipline, because I'm also the really fun parent. But I don't want them to see Tristan. You're fun too, but you're not there 24 7. And so I don't want them thinking, like, oh, like, I'd never want them scared of Tristan or. And he's also so big. Tristan's six' ten. I just know all of those things as a kid plays a toll. So I am the disciplinary. But that was done with intention, and I was thoughtful about that. But if, like, when they're older, I know, especially Tatum, I know there's gonna be a time that it's probably. He won't care what I say. Like, when he's a teenager, he'll be afraid of his dad. But for now, I like being the Disciplinary. And I just think it's the best way for the kids to still be like, it's Daddy. Yeah, all of that jazz. Do you love. I know you love personally about all the cousins, like, for yourself and your healing, but do you love that these kids have built in best friends? Do you wish they had more outsider friends?
- [49:03]
Tristan
No, I love. I love that. The fact that all the kids like to spend time with each other because it's like a.
- [49:07]
Chloe
Some people might be like, oh, that's a little cultish. We don't let them leave.
- [49:10]
Tristan
No, it's not cultish. I think the reality is that I just. We like to be honest. I just don't trust motherfuckers.
- [49:15]
Chloe
Me neither.
- [49:16]
Tristan
And I don't trust motherfuckers around my kids. And I don't play about them. When it comes to my kids, at least when it comes to nieces and nephews, we spend a lot of time together, and we know their parents, and, you know, everyone can kind of be accounted for. Right? We know what's going on. So I love it. I love the fact that everyone is reproducing and putting more babies on this earth in our family circle.
- [49:35]
Chloe
Reproducing is crazy.
- [49:36]
Tristan
So we have another one?
- [49:38]
Chloe
No.
- [49:38]
Tristan
Okay.
- [49:39]
Chloe
I'm okay. But I do have some more embryos.
- [49:41]
Tristan
Yeah. Gotta do something with them.
- [49:43]
Chloe
I'll figure it out. Whenever you're ready, you sign them over to me anyway. So I legally own them?
- [49:49]
Tristan
Yes, you do.
- [49:50]
Chloe
Okay. Can we talk about something for a second? Because I feel like so many people I know have an idea, like a real idea, something they have been sitting on for months, sometimes years, and they light up the second they start talking about it, and then nothing happens. They wait until the timing feels right, or until they feel ready enough, or until everything is perfectly figured out. That first step is the hardest one. And I get it, because starting feels overwhelming. Where do you even begin? And how do you make it real? That is honestly why I love Shopify so much. It is the platform I built my business on, and it makes the whole thing so much less scary. Shopify is behind millions of businesses around the world and powers 10% of all E commerce in the US from huge household names all the way down to someone launching their very first product from their kitchen table. It meets you exactly where you are and it genuinely does everything. The AI tools write your product descriptions, help with your copy, even enhance your product photos. You can run email and social campaigns right from the platform. So you do not need a whole marketing team behind you. Inventory Payments, analytics, shipping, return. It is all in one place. No jumping between platforms, no figuring out where anything lives and their customer support is 24 7. Which as someone who is definitely handling things at midnight sometimes that matters. If you have been putting something off, this is your sign. Stop waiting for permission to build something. It is time to hear the sound every entrepreneur loves. Cha Ching and Shopify is how you get there. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com Chloe that's shopify.com Chloe. Go start your thing. Shopify.com Chloe. You guys know I recently got a puppy, Peppermint. And I'm not even going to pretend I'm normal about it. I fully accept that I've become one of those dog parents. The kind who takes way too many photos, talks to their dog like they're a person, and somehow she ends up having a better daily routine than I do. Peppermint already has multiple beds around the house, a rotation of toys, and honestly I catch myself checking on her like she's a toddler. But if you're a dog parent, I feel like you get it. They really do become a part of the family. And if anyone understands that level of obsession, it's Ollie. They're just as obsessed with your dog as you are. Ollie makes fresh food for dogs that's developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. So you know your pup is getting high quality meals made with ingredients you can feel good about. And what I love is that everything is personalized to your dog when you start. They create a plan based on your dog's needs and portion the meals just for you. It even comes with a puptainer and a scoop, so feeding them is super easy. But Ollie doesn't just stop at food. Through their app, you can actually check in on your dog's health. With real vets, you upload a picture and their team can check things like your dog's weight, digestion, teeth and coat. It's honestly such a great way to keep an eye on how your pup is doing. Get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com wonderland Tell them all about your dog and use Code Wonderland to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's O l l I e.com Wonderland and enter code Wonderland to get 60% off your first box. Ollie, feed the obsession. Do you have any rules? Even if it's to yourself. Like, something that we haven't even discussed. But when it comes to dating, like, do you have, like, a time frame for when you would introduce someone to the kids, or do you think about that, or is that just, like, a hard no, or do you not think about it?
- [54:07]
Tristan
It's a hard no, but I would
- [54:10]
Chloe
say that you're just never going to introduce someone to the kids no, because
- [54:14]
Tristan
I think, like, and this is just me, I don't think it's smart if me and you are not going to get married, because I don't even think, like, engaging is. Engage is cool.
- [54:27]
Chloe
You mean to another.
- [54:29]
Tristan
Yeah. So, like, I'll give an example. Right. I would not. Like, I don't even want to speak for myself, but I'll just say, like, I don't think it's wise for parents to introduce a boyfriend or a girlfriend to their kids unless this individual is going, you're gonna get married to them. Because I'm not going to confuse my kids, where if something doesn't work, then this person is gone, and then you have to, like, kind of, like, recalibrate everyone's brain.
- [54:56]
Chloe
Like, I get that. But also, wouldn't you not know if you want to marry someone unless your kids sort of approve of it?
- [55:03]
Tristan
Well, the reality is, I don't think our kids would ever approve of it. I don't think True and Tatum will ever approve of it. I think you would have to. Like, knowing dating somebody for a year or two years is still, like, even a year is still. Still too early.
- [55:16]
Chloe
But then how do your kids get to, like, bond with that person for you to realize, okay, I can move on. Like, I can move forward with that, because if my kids were like, I hate this person, or whatever, I would. There's not a chance.
- [55:33]
Tristan
Well, I mean, I think more than likely our kids will probably say that. So True's very protective of me. And, you know, Tatum, our kids are very protective of each other. Right. So I don't think that'd be.
- [55:43]
Chloe
So right now, the dating thing, you just wouldn't introduce anyone to your kids?
- [55:48]
Tristan
Absolutely not.
- [55:49]
Chloe
Do you want to have more kids in the future?
- [55:51]
Tristan
I think I signed off for two embryos, so, I mean, if I do have more kids, it'd be coming from. Yeah, I already have enough baby mamas. I don't want no more. Yeah, more than enough.
- [56:02]
Chloe
And who helped you fix that decision? That was me.
- [56:08]
Tristan
Yeah.
- [56:10]
Chloe
Tristan may have had a little ultimatum from me.
- [56:13]
Tristan
What, getting neutered?
- [56:15]
Chloe
Yep.
- [56:16]
Tristan
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lay them nuts on the table.
- [56:20]
Chloe
What? Okay.
- [56:21]
Tristan
It's a podcast. You could say, you know, you could
- [56:23]
Chloe
say whatever you want.
- [56:24]
Tristan
Yeah. Oh, my bad. Shout out, our sponsors. Oh, yeah. Sometimes you have to make the right exact. You know, sometimes we had a conversation.
- [56:30]
Chloe
Sometimes you have to get forced into the right decision.
- [56:34]
Tristan
Yeah. You know, I've been a little hard headed at times. More times than not.
- [56:41]
Chloe
Yeah.
- [56:41]
Tristan
Which I wish I wasn't as stubborn, but, you know, I guess I am an experienced learner. I learned from experience. Not as much as like, being told, which is unfortunate, but it's part of life. It's part of the journey.
- [56:54]
Chloe
My God.
- [56:55]
Tristan
So it is what it is. But. Yeah.
- [56:59]
Chloe
So no more kids for you.
- [57:02]
Tristan
No more kids. Unless it's coming from Chloe's embryos. Yes. How about them?
- [57:11]
Chloe
You did save sperm in case you wanted to do that.
- [57:14]
Tristan
So hold on. What do we have right now?
- [57:16]
Chloe
We saved sperm because I said, what if you get married and your wife doesn't have kids and you want to do that? So we did that. Because you could also reverse it.
- [57:26]
Tristan
But no, I'm not. No, I'm not laying down on that table again.
- [57:29]
Chloe
Okay. Yeah, it wasn't bad. You were like up and walking.
- [57:33]
Tristan
Yeah, it was 15 minutes. It's quick. I tell guys it's very quick. I remember going home and watching.
- [57:37]
Chloe
I wasn't there. I just meant the next day. I remember you took True to lunch.
- [57:41]
Tristan
Yeah.
- [57:41]
Chloe
That's all. So like, you were a couple days there.
- [57:44]
Tristan
We all watched the NBA finals together.
- [57:45]
Chloe
I don't remember.
- [57:46]
Tristan
Yeah, yeah. It was Milwaukee versus Phoenix. Game. Game two. My buddy pounded here.
- [57:53]
Chloe
Okay. He's still like, after bedtime. It's like, you're out of there.
- [57:57]
Tristan
I'm leaving.
- [57:58]
Chloe
Yeah.
- [57:59]
Tristan
Yeah.
- [57:59]
Chloe
Tristan and I don't, like, hang out if it's not with the kids.
- [58:03]
Tristan
I mean, you did come over for hookah.
- [58:05]
Chloe
Kylie, her boyfriend, his mom, everyone was there for Mother's Day.
- [58:09]
Tristan
I mean, my house is very. I think. I think the reason why you.
- [58:13]
Chloe
And one time in five years, you're gonna throw that in my face after Mother's Day?
- [58:18]
Tristan
There's definitely more than one time you've been over to.
- [58:20]
Chloe
Well, I'm just saying. Please.
- [58:22]
Tristan
Yeah. My house is very homey. You say it's high energy.
- [58:25]
Chloe
I love your house. Love, love your house.
- [58:27]
Tristan
Good energy.
- [58:28]
Chloe
What are you doing career wise? Hobby wise? I know you just retired from a 14 year NBA career, which is crazy. And how's that transition going for you?
- [58:41]
Tristan
Honestly, it's been great. You know what I always tell people? It feels like I'm a rookie again. For me, you know, at some point, Father Time wins, and I think you have to figure out how you're going to pivot. I think the toughest thing for anyone, but just for athletes, it's figuring out what's next. I think for athletes, the easiest transition is going into sports broadcasting, because I think it's a way that you can still stay part of the game and just talk about what you love. It's no different than you being on the couch or being at the barbershop. But for me also, not only just doing that, I said, you know, what can I do that can be impactful and kind of be, you know, be outside the box. Two guys that I look at, so
- [59:20]
Chloe
not everyone can do it. You are so good with your words, and you have so much retention of sports. Like, you are bizarre, and you, like, remember stats that are crazy. Like, not everyone can do that. And you're also, like, you just. You're so good with your words, and you're so great at doing that and being on camera. So you do have to also pat yourself on the back when you do NBA TV and all of that.
- [59:46]
Tristan
Yeah. No, I think it's probably because I'm maybe Canadian and, you know, lived around all over America and traveled. You know, basketball has helped me travel the world. And always. I think it's because I've always been a sponge, but now for me, it's about pivoting into, you know, AI and tech. And kind of the way I look at it, it's about, how can I be part of where the world is going and not where the world is currently at. I think when the narrative right now, because it's important to me, is that people think, like, when they hear about AI, they think it's, like, all bad. And they're like, oh, AI is going to take away our jobs. I'm like, no. The way I approach and the way you have to look at AI is this, right? A farmer. Now, instead of worrying about, you know, the hard labor, physical wear and tear of the body, where you can focus now on building your business, expanding your farm, you know, it's the business side of it where they can focus on. So that's just where my head's at, and I'm excited about it.
- [60:39]
Chloe
I will say, but Alexa will always, like, she'll see a video of you and she'll send it to me and be like, I have. Like, we're just so proud of your transition from basketball to your other interests, because that transition is hard. Your Whole identity for your. Basically your whole life is NBA. I think your ability that you've been able to transition as seamlessly as you have is really admirable. And I love that you are not afraid to try new things. Even your journey to the White House. It's really, really inspiring. I think, for so many people. You're learning about AI and crypto and trading and all the things that are the future.
- [61:23]
Tristan
No, thank you. But I think it's like. I think a lot of athletes, when you come to this cross, you know, crossroads of, like, it's being over, the show being over. I think a lot of guys waste time on, like, sitting in their own and, like, trying to figure out, like, why is it over? Or, like, can I still come back and play? But for me, it's like, no, the iron's hot. On to the next. Because at the end of the day, it's very. It's like in every profession, right, you're going to always have this halo around your head of, like, this cachet. And the longer you wait to pivot, the halo becomes less. The. The light dims. So for me, it's like, I'm not going to wait five, four years to get back into doing something else. I'm going to go right away.
- [62:01]
Chloe
How did you handle when the world was so opinionated of you? You were really good at that.
- [62:07]
Tristan
Yeah. You know, to be honest, it's my upbringing. I've been through so much real shit in my life that's like, life or death situations that I've probably built this kind of, like, survival mode in me mentally on how to, like, still, like, show up to work and, like, do my job and not let whatever happening in my personal life affect my job. Because if tough times are happening in your life and then you're compromising your job, then you're not gonna have no fucking job. And you need your job to fucking take your kids and pay your bills and take care of your family. Because I have responsibilities. Not just taking care of myself. I'm taking care of, you know, my brothers.
- [62:44]
Chloe
But do you think it affected your mental health at all, or was it easy for you to, like, drown it out?
- [62:50]
Tristan
I just. Same way I poured into my kids, I think I just poured more into the sport and just stayed at the gym, lived at the gym, made the gym my sanctuary. But in terms of, of course, mentally, does it maybe take a toll on you? Maybe, but I think I just. The. The crazy thing about professional sports and NBA is that you got to always be ready to play and play at a high level. Because if you're not playing at a high level and everyone knows about your personal situation, then you're not gonna get a job. So.
- [63:21]
Chloe
Right.
- [63:22]
Tristan
You understand as well, right? I think for you, you know what we've been through, you could easily just say, hey, I'm not filming, I'm not working, I'm not showing up for these appearances. But money I have to make. If I make money at the work.
- [63:35]
Chloe
What do you want people to take away from you and I sitting on this couch together?
- [63:39]
Tristan
I think number one is that co parenting can work. I think it all starts with even
- [63:45]
Chloe
in the worst of circumstances, it can.
- [63:47]
Tristan
But I'm telling you, it all stems from there's a level of respect. Just because me and say you might curse at me and I might in my head curse at you in my head and I might walk off and excuse myself because I don't want to say something I might regret. Likewise with you, there's still a level of respect. We walk away because. Level of respect. Right? So I think that's a, that's the number one thing. And then also, just like we're all evolving. I think people just need to understand, like, listen, what happened in the past. No, I'm not proud of it. No one likes it. I hate it. It was not a good time in either of our lives. But it's about like moving, like not moving forward but like we're evolving, we're changing. I think we're in a better place now than we were when we were intimate. And I think that's something that's very important that, that we can, we can grow. What about you? What do you want to be taken away? Like, what do you want when everyone turns off this, you know, program? What do you want people to say because you said you were nervous or you think people are going to kill us about this show?
- [64:43]
Chloe
No, I'm going to hear it regardless. But I'm not nervous. I'm the one that willingly had you on. I more get sick and tired of the commentary because I'm like, you guys. I don't love what happened. I'm not saying that. But it all happened for the greater good. I really do think so. For whatever reason, it was meant to happen. Not the cheating part, but you and I weren't meant to, to end up together. You and I were meant to have these beautiful kids. We're great co parenters. You're a great present dad. I'm grateful for so much of what we have now, but I want People to just realize like you can. People can do you wrong. You can forgive, you can move on, you can coexist. You can still be a great parent. Show up for the people around you the way that you should. I feel like there's so many things that people use, oh, someone wronged me. And they use that as this shield or an excuse to just be a bad person, to be something. Like, it takes so much more energy for me not to move past something than it does to move past something. I just think I want people maybe to. I don't care to have anyone's acceptance. I'm not asking for that. I think maybe this podcast would help people see our relationship more, see how you and I are with one another. It's not for people to agree. It's not for people to disagree. It's. This is what works for you and I. We've found a good flow. We have two beautiful, healthy, great children. And I feel like we're doing something right. Doesn't mean it happens every day. But for the overall part, I'm really proud of you and I and how we've gotten here.
- [66:32]
Tristan
Yeah, it works for us. I mean, we do carpool and we order chai tea lattes, and it works. I mean, and I appreciate you and you've been a great mom and been great for Amari, and so it works. I mean.
- [66:46]
Chloe
Thank you. Question. When a man says, I'm not proud of what I've done. Right. Do you have that realization when you're doing it or you discover that later?
- [66:59]
Tristan
No, later. And then not in the moment.
- [67:02]
Chloe
Right. But like, how much later? Like once you're caught? Or do you feel that way when you're done doing it?
- [67:08]
Tristan
Like post nut syndrome?
- [67:10]
Chloe
What? Don't.
- [67:11]
Tristan
Oh, sorry. My bad was a little too far.
- [67:13]
Chloe
So then why do you keep redoing it?
- [67:15]
Tristan
That is a mil. That's a trillion dollar question. I don't know. I mean, I can't speak for other people. For myself, I think just life was moving very quickly for me at the time. When we were together, I probably didn't do the best job of navigating my truth above where I was at. And maybe just honestly, probably just a little case of just being young and wanting your cake and eat it too, but just don't know how to proudly. It's just life. It's just a lot going on in life at the time for me. So not proud of it. Of course not. But like you said, I think it's. Sometimes we need a wake up call and unfortunately, you know, you never want good people to fall to the sword of that.
- [68:04]
Chloe
Just a question. Have you ever thought about what you're gonna say for if and when? Cause the when will happen when your kids ask you, like, what happened between us?
- [68:16]
Tristan
I've definitely thought about that. And I. And I am. Like you said, it's not about if, it's when. I think it just depends on which age we have this conversation when I have this conversation with the kids. But I think it's just more leading by just being accountable and. And depends on the age bracket of wherever they were at, then dive into it how I see fit. But I think the most important thing is that, you know, accountability, how much I, you know, love, love mommy and go from there.
- [68:41]
Chloe
I mean, you just have to be honest. That's all kids really want.
- [68:47]
Tristan
That's all they want is honesty. Yeah. And love.
- [68:50]
Chloe
And love. Do you think if you guys met later in life, things would have been different?
- [68:55]
Tristan
Yeah. Oh, yeah, Definitely. I think I always tell people I think it's the right person, wrong time. And I mean, I think it's a very, like, maybe it's a cliche to things like, oh, blah. But it's true. Like, you know, it's unfortunate.
- [69:10]
Chloe
That response was gruff. Yeah.
- [69:12]
Tristan
Because everyone's like, oh, I didn't want to say that. But it's like, honestly, it's true. Right. And I think. I think we've had that conversation. But it's just. If I was my. The age I am now, or even a couple years before, would our world look different? Probably. So I guess things happen for a
- [69:30]
Chloe
reason that they do.
- [69:32]
Tristan
And you never know how life happens. You know, maybe, like, who knows?
- [69:35]
Chloe
No, I think we know. I think we know.
- [69:39]
Tristan
Hold on. So let me ask a question. If there's a bunker.
- [69:42]
Chloe
Yeah.
- [69:43]
Tristan
And you only could bring X amount of people in, would you bring me in there?
- [69:46]
Chloe
Yeah. Okay.
- [69:47]
Tristan
That's all I need.
- [69:47]
Chloe
But what is that? I'm not having sex with you.
- [69:49]
Tristan
Who said anything about Sarah? Just to make it sure. Like.
- [69:51]
Chloe
Well, I don't know where this was going.
- [69:53]
Tristan
Oh.
- [69:54]
Chloe
But if what I want, I mean, I am going to be honest. My immediate family has to.
- [70:00]
Tristan
Well, of course I'll get in first. Of course.
- [70:02]
Chloe
Like. But if there's room for you, where do I.
- [70:05]
Tristan
Where do I fit in the food chain in terms of bring everyone in?
- [70:08]
Chloe
No, you.
- [70:08]
Tristan
I bet you I go higher than you. You.
- [70:10]
Chloe
You say you would be on my list.
- [70:12]
Tristan
I think I'm higher on your list than you probably would want to there's
- [70:14]
Chloe
definitely people in front.
- [70:16]
Tristan
I think so, but I don't think it's. I don't think it's as many people in front than, like, you are.
- [70:20]
Chloe
Well, there's 13 grandkids total, so it's 13 grand.
- [70:23]
Tristan
Let's not do the children. Okay. Let's not put the children in this. It's like. Let's pretend all the children, like, just get in.
- [70:27]
Chloe
That's the light.
- [70:28]
Tristan
Let's pretend like they don't count as seats in the bunker.
- [70:31]
Chloe
Okay. Would I want you on the list? Yes.
- [70:33]
Tristan
Am I top five?
- [70:35]
Chloe
No. Oh, Because I have how many siblings? I have five siblings.
- [70:40]
Tristan
Oh, yeah. Okay, so I'm top.
- [70:41]
Chloe
I have a mom.
- [70:43]
Tristan
Like, I'm top seven and maybe seven.
- [70:46]
Chloe
But what about my kids?
- [70:47]
Tristan
They don't count because everyone wants me to pick kids. Of course. They have life to live. You have to put the kids in.
- [70:52]
Chloe
No, but it's a fact.
- [70:54]
Tristan
They don't count. Let's say kids don't count. You can only bring adults.
- [70:56]
Chloe
Okay. Tristan, you'll get in the bunker.
- [70:58]
Tristan
Top seven.
- [70:59]
Chloe
I don't. I can't limit the number right now, but, like, 10, if we're not counting the 13 kids together, then, I don't know, 10 sounds safe. How would you feel when Chloe starts dating?
- [71:16]
Tristan
Ignorance is bliss.
- [71:17]
Chloe
That's true.
- [71:19]
Tristan
Yep. Ignorance is bliss. It's the best way to use it. That's my best explanation.
- [71:25]
Chloe
I just don't get guys, like, want to have such a problem with people moving on and dating, but, like, you guys cause all this.
- [71:35]
Tristan
Yeah. Since just. Yeah. I mean, there's no. There's no right answer. I think just how we just feel very. I don't know. Maybe. I don't want to say entitled. We just.
- [71:50]
Chloe
No, you feel entitled, Possessive, controlling. Not you. Men.
- [71:56]
Tristan
Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, you're the mother of my kids. I don't think any guy's gonna be good enough for you. I just wouldn't, like. I don't think so. Well, but see what happens.
- [72:05]
Chloe
What's next for you?
- [72:07]
Tristan
What's next? Keep plugging away. Trying to be the best. I want to be the best in this venture finance technology space. For me, it's more about, like, inspiring the youth doing something outside the box. And like I said, like, it's like the Shaq and Magic thing where it's like, you know, try to be bigger in this space than I was just then. In my playing career. I'm trying to win another championship. And, you know, I won a championship with a jersey and shorts on. I'm trying to win one with a Tom Ford suit on now.
- [72:33]
Chloe
You better clog it. Talk about it. Tristan, thank you so much for coming on. I know it's probably stressful thinking of doing this, I imagine, for you, but I really appreciate it.
- [72:46]
Tristan
No, this was great. Thank you for having me on. Very proud of you. Season two, it's been great. You've had some great guests. You've done a great job.
- [72:54]
Chloe
Thank you.
- [72:54]
Tristan
Keep up the good work. Nice setup. Good job.