#765 - ARI MATTI + DUSTIN POIRIER

Summary

Kill Tony #765 – Ari Matti + Dustin Poirier

Date: April 28, 2026
Venue: Comedy Mothership, Austin, Texas
Panel: Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban, Ari Matti (comedian), Dustin Poirier (UFC legend)
Special Guest Comics: Karen Feehan, Fiona Cauley, Dedrick Flynn

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Episode Overview

This live Kill Tony episode is electric, blending stand-up, panelist roasts, and unscripted mayhem at the Comedy Mothership during Austin’s South by Southwest. Tony Hinchcliffe and Brian Redban are joined by MMA legend Dustin Poirier and rising comedy star Ari Matti. The show’s signature format—randomly selecting comics for a 1-minute set, then riffing and interviewing—delivers both killer laughs and cringeworthy misadventures. Several high-energy audience members, seasoned pros, and even a few bewildered newcomers step up for their one minute, while the panel brings rapid-fire banter and smart, ruthless feedback.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. The Opening Energy (03:35–06:33)

• Tony Hinchcliffe revs up the crowd: “Who’s ready for the best night of their lives, huh? ... You are at the number one live podcast in the world, Kill Tony!” (03:35)
• Dustin Poirier notes the packed house for SXSW week: “This is the hardest ticket to get in town.” (01:28)
• Ari Matti, fresh from touring, jokes about his Florida wardrobe and MMA record:
  • “I did MMA too. O and 3. You can go on sharedog.com, you can check it out.” (05:36)
  • Poirier: “If I tried stand up comedy, I’d be 0 and 10.” (05:47)

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2. Golden Ticket Winner: Pat O’Neill (07:27–14:08)

Pat’s Set: Offbeat, darkly sexual humor—Tinder, ex-girlfriends, and surreal dating stories.

• Notable Bit:
  • “Other night in bed, this black girl told me to eat her ass. I was like, I thought I already was. What’s this thing then?” (08:22)
• Panel Roasts:
  • Tony: “You look like a reptilian fucking leprechaun.” (08:48)
  • Ari: “You look like a confused bird.” (08:54)
• Interview Fun: His aesthetic (blank walls, one scented candle), awkward dating life, and living situation are goofed on extensively.
  • Dustin: “So you have absolutely nothing on the walls?”
    Pat: “Yeah, what am I supposed to put there?” (11:31)

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3. Mixed Bag of Bucket Pulls

a. Anastasia Nadraga (14:50–18:10)

Set: Disjointed, nervously referencing Epstein files and existential dread.

• Panel: Roasts for lack of focus; cryptic responses fuel their jabs.
• Dustin: “Doesn’t get much worse than you. You’re the worst.” (17:37)

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b. Benny Bruce (21:39–27:23)

Set: Stoner humor—dominoes, dating Latinas, dirty talk.

• “Every time you put another piece down, you’re like ‘oh, is it gonna make a swastika?’” (21:41)
• Panel: Welcoming, praise his jokes and style.
• Reveals he left Michigan after a failed engagement and heavy psychedelic use, now putting his energy into comedy in Austin.

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c. Bryce Wright (27:43–38:19)

Set: Jokes about being mixed race, family, and getting arrested (marijuana + gun).

• “I live with my parents.” (29:58)
• Panel: Probing on his finances, legal mishap, and personal quirks (including a detailed riff about “Dude Wipes” for rim jobs).
  • “My asshole is cleaner than that bar.” (36:27)

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d. Eddie Adams (40:04–47:34)

Set: Topical (Epstein book), self-aware Kill Tony riffs.

• Interview: Jewish identity, selling Toyotas, marrying a gentile from Hinge, and rapid quips about yarmulkes.
• Karen Feehan and panel riff on his “gay yarmulke” and “gay/Jewish” showbiz persona.

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4. Featured Professional Guest Comics

Karen Feehan (47:58–50:23)

Set: High-energy, self-deprecating, and MMA-themed.

• “Whenever I miss blacking out, I just sleep with an MMA guy. You know, when I see a cauliflower ear, flood.” (48:28)
• Massive crowd and panel laughs; riffs about jiu-jitsu guys, Boston Ballet, and wild bachelorette trips with Jewish women.

Fiona Cauley, Golden Ticket Legend (69:09–77:09)

Set: Hilarious, brutally honest about her past ("big whore" days), disability, and living life “as if dying.”

• “Started only fucking black guys...didn’t fit, 12 inches, that’s why I’m in the wheelchair.” (71:02)
• Dustin: “You look great. How’s married life?” (73:40)
• Fiona: Shares her medical journey and internet heckling stories, sparring playfully with Dustin about betting on his (lost) fight.

Dedrick Flynn, Regular Closing Two-Minute Pro (120:25–127:24)

Set: Observational and sharp, on tattoos and blue-collar trust, car wash jobs, and hospital workers.

• “Doctors don’t have tattoos. Surgeons don’t have tattoos. You know who do? Nurses.” (122:26)
• Ends by riffing on Utah, Mormons, and “soaking.”
• "They say in the Mormon Bible that when the devil tricked one third of the angels...God turned their skin black. So all black people are like devils." (126:46)

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5. Crowd & Panel Chemistry

• Panel banter is wild—Dustin and Ari trade stories about MMA vs. comedy nerves, while Tony navigates between tender encouragement and brutal takedowns.
• Most Roasted Themes: Being unprepared, weird living situations, career transitions, failed open mics, and offbeat personal stories.
• Dustin’s MMA background blends with the night’s roasts—he’s offered “full permission” to beat up rude comics:
  • Tony: “If anybody roasts you or makes fun of you, just beat…you could do it on this show.” (05:24)

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Notable/Classic Quotes

• Tony Hinchcliffe (on pressure):

  • “There are going to be people that think they are the best in the world and…realize that millions of people around the world are watching them, and the pressure is going to get to them.” (06:07)

• Dustin Poirier (post-Anastasia):

  • “Doesn’t get much worse than you. You’re the worst.” (17:37)

• Ari Matti (on bartenders):

  • “From one big bottle of booze, you can get about 16 double cocktails…the revenue price that the bar has is so much higher…you bring your own bottles and have a side register. Robin Hood for myself.” (91:59)

• Karen Feehan (on MMA):

  • “Their brains are just on the outside now. I'm just kidding. They're pretty dumb.” (48:48)

• Fiona Cauley (why she’s in the wheelchair):

  • “Didn’t fit. 12 inches. I’m not kidding. That is why I’m in the wheelchair.” (71:02)

• Dedrick Flynn (on tattoos):

  • “Tattoos let you know a motherfucker went through something to work here.” (122:32)

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Time-Stamped Memorable Moments

• Pat O’Neill slays the cold open – (07:27–14:08)
• Anastasia’s disastrous minute – (14:50–18:10)
• Benny Bruce’s dominoes swastika joke kills – (21:41)
• Bryce Wright reveals he was bonded out of jail for weed + gun – (34:23)
• Panel digs into being a brand ambassador for a flooring company – (23:59)
• Dude wipes/rim job riff with Bryce Wright – (36:13–37:52)
• Karen Feehan’s MMA roast – (48:28)
• Fiona’s reason for wheelchair: “didn’t fit” – (71:02)
• Dedrick Flynn’s car wash/throat tattoo premise – (121:02–122:58)

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Closing Reflections

The episode is a masterclass in live comedy chaos, balancing up-and-coming comics, unpredictable real-life stories, and relentless panel humor. MMA legend Dustin Poirier adds an edge, Karen Feehan and Fiona Cauley bring pro-level sets and crowd give-and-take, and emerging comedians like Benny Bruce and Isaiah Washington shine. A few truly hapless souls become instant cautionary tales. The panel’s chemistry is infectious, and the taping’s energy proves why Kill Tony is a can’t-miss weekly spectacle.

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Episode Flow (Selected Timestamps)

• 03:38 Panel introduction and hype
• 07:27 Pat O’Neill (Golden Ticket)
• 14:50 Anastasia Nadraga
• 21:39 Benny Bruce
• 27:43 Bryce Wright
• 40:04 Eddie Adams
• 47:58 Karen Feehan guest set
• 69:09 Fiona Cauley guest set
• 120:25 Dedrick Flynn regular closer

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Final Thoughts

An action-packed, laugh-heavy night: brutal at times, generous at others, this episode showcases what makes live comedy wild—limitless upside, bottomless bomb potential, and a stage where anyone can be roasted, uplifted, or both. For newcomers and superfans alike, this SXSW edition is classic Kill Tony: unpredictable, original, and riotously funny.

Transcript

[Redban]

Hey, this is Redband and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at Death Squad TV, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out tonyhinchcliffe.com for everything. The Golden Pony, Tony, Henchcliffe. You can also check out shopsquad TV for Death Squad merch hats, mugs, whatever, Shopsquad tv. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

[Redmond]

Hey, this is Redmond coming to you

[Redban]

live from the comedy Mothership here in

[Redmond]

Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

[Redban]

Give it up for Tony.

[Redmond]

It's class.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Who's ready for the best night of their lives, huh? And that is the best damn band in all the land. Make some noise for them, huh? You are at the number one live podcast in the world, Kil Tony, brought to you this week by Bluechew, Prize

[Dustin Poirier]

picks and Talk Space. What an amazing episode we have lined up for y'. All. This is the hardest ticket to get in town. South by Southwest week.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So congratulations to you guys. This sold out in seconds. So for the the few of you

[Dustin Poirier]

lucky enough to be here at this show, congratulations to you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that

[Dustin Poirier]

made this all possible. You said this place was steps from the water.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

We just haven't found the steps yet.

[Dustin Poirier]

How much did we save?

[Hilton Ad Voice]

Enough.

[Dustin Poirier]

Enough to get lost.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

Or you could book a stay with Hilton.

[Dustin Poirier]

Welcome to your oceanfront room just steps from the water.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

The Hilton sale is on. Now book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises, it matters where you stay Hilton for this day. Some things happen fast, like a vacuum finding your lost earring, a dog reacting to the word walk and settling up with friends on the PayPal app. Send and receive money in seconds. Access your balance to send, shop, pay bills and more. Download the PayPal app to get started. An account with PayPal is required to send and receive money. A PayPal balance account is required to hold and use a balance.

[Dustin Poirier]

Feels like every product claims real protein these days. But real doesn't start on a label.

[Redban]

It starts at the source.

[Dustin Poirier]

Like real California milk from California farm families.

[Redban]

It's real dairy, delivering high quality complete

[Dustin Poirier]

protein with all nine essential amino acids to help build muscle, give you energy, and keep you satisfied longer.

[Sponsor Voice]

So keep it real.

[Redban]

Look for the seal.

[Dustin Poirier]

Real California milk. You guys ready to start tonight's show or what?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is an Exciting one.

[Dustin Poirier]

It's unbelievable. You know, sometimes you have people from New York, Louisiana. This, that this one's special because this

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

is one of the best comedians in

[Dustin Poirier]

the world right now and one of the greatest fighters of all time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, I present two of the baddest motherfuckers on planet earth. Ari Matty and Dustin Poirier. Oh, my God. Let's fucking go. The great Dustin Poirier and one of the best in the world right now, a shooting star. Ari Matty on panel tonight, everybody. Here we go. Oh, my God, we're gonna have so much fun.

[Dustin Poirier]

Ari.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Matty's been on tour.

[Dustin Poirier]

Go check him out. He's on the biggest tour of his [e-mail]. how's it going, buddy?

[Ari Matty]

Yes. I was in Florida, so you can see by the way I dress now. Things are selling cocaine. It's cut in half with baby powder. But that's another thing.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love it. I just snort the baby powder.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

I say leave the cocaine out of it. I want a Goo Goo Gaga. Dustin motherfucking Poirier.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, the fighting pride of Louisiana, future UFC hall of Famer.

[Dustin Poirier]

And somehow you are on panel tonight on.

[Panel Member]

And I didn't expect to be, so I'm a little like, it's good, it's good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's going to be great.

[Panel Member]

Planning to be a spectator, but we, we here.

[Dustin Poirier]

If anybody roasts you or makes fun of you or anything, just beat.

[Panel Member]

Wait for me to parking lot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, beat the up. You could do it on this show. We give you full permission. If it up our ads or anything, we'll like blur it, but people will know that you're winning for sure.

[Ari Matty]

You know, I did MMA too. O and O and 3. You can go on sharedog.com you can check it out.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ari Matty]

0 and 3.

[Panel Member]

If I tried stand up comedy, I'd be 0 and 10.

[Ari Matty]

So I don't know about that. Really good. I was really good at the gym, but when the lights hit you, I'm a bro.

[Panel Member]

And I see the opposite side of that. I see guys great in the gym when the lights hit you, they suck. I see guys suck in the gym when the lights hit them, they're world champions, so.

[Ari Matty]

Damn.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, I could be a world champion, I guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I promise you that's going to happen on this show tonight. There are going to be people that

[Dustin Poirier]

think they are the best in the world and their name is going to get called and the lights are going to hit them. They're going to Realize that millions of people around the world are watching them, and the pressure is going to get to them, and some people are going to be terrible open micrs, and somehow we're going to fall in love with them. Perhaps. But then again, maybe none of that happens.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anything can happen if I pull their

[Dustin Poirier]

name out of the bucket. They get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know, their time is up and you hear the sound of a kitten.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That means they have to wrap it

[Dustin Poirier]

up then, or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear, which rudely interrupts them. And then I conduct an interview live, completely improvised, and anything can happen. You guys ready to start tonight's show or what?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm gonna pull a name out of the bucket. And while we go wrangle this human from the dilapidated bar next door, I have a golden ticket winner who is back. And I mean, this kid's a freak. He was on the first Netflix episode taping here, and he's a monster. This guy's built for comedy. We will see what he's got for us tonight. This is a brand new minute from golden ticket winner Pat o', Neill, everybody.

[Dustin Poirier]

I'm on Tinder now. Grindr was too easy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I needed a challenge.

[Luke Aaron]

You know what?

[Dustin Poirier]

I don't settle for that easy. Found my ex on that other app, Google Maps. Got you. Try and run from me,

[Chase Standing]

dummy.

[Dustin Poirier]

I cheated on her like she was a math test with a Chinese boy. But, you know, that's college for you. Went on a date with an older gal recently. Told me she was going through menopause. I was like, oh, well, your mouth still gets wet, right?

[Sponsor Voice]

Fucking.

[Dustin Poirier]

We can make this work. Let's not get all hasty. A lot of the women I've dated have been single moms. After I'm through with them.

[Luke Aaron]

And.

[Dustin Poirier]

Cause and effect.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Other night in bed, this black girl

[Dustin Poirier]

told me to eat her ass.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I was like, I thought I already was. What's this thing then? So much going on down here. This is all so new to me. All right, thank you, Pat o'. Neill. Getting us started with a bang. You're so talented.

[Dustin Poirier]

I can't imagine you doing anything other than this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like a reptilian fucking leprechaun of some kind. You are just a true comedian.

[Ari Matty]

You look like a confused bird.

[Dustin Poirier]

I'm definitely confused. An amazing set. Pat, is this true? Are you out there? Are you dating people? What is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Dustin Poirier]

What. What can a woman expect on a date with Pat o'?

[Luke Aaron]

Neal?

[Dustin Poirier]

Well, I don't know a lot of this. And, yeah, if they're lucky. I'll put my fingers in their. Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

If they're lucky. My goodness.

[Dustin Poirier]

If they're lucky, they'll get your. You know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Women. That's my move, the fingering.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When does that start? On the date? Exactly. Is that a go to get it

[Dustin Poirier]

started with a bang? Yeah, I mean, ideally, but if she's classy, you'll wait an hour or two.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah. A lot of classy bitches out there.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, yeah. Amazing, amazing, incredible. You ever take them back to your birdhouse or anything?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Or you go. Do you go to theirs? Well, yeah, I got a. I got a bed.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, you got a bed. Do you have your own apartment?

[Ari Matty]

I do.

[Dustin Poirier]

You live by yourself? Yeah, believe it or not. Yeah, no, I believe it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't think you're exactly the most in demand roommate on the market right now. Look, not a lot of people are into a permanent Halloween decoration when every time they get home, I love it. What's hanging on your walls at your apartment?

[Redban]

Like what the paintings are?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Great question, Red man. Wow, look at you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Did you think of this before the episode? That's a great question. Like, nothing, honestly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

See, it's a great question because it leads to a frightening answer.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I would put absolutely nothing at all.

[Ari Matty]

No, like, when you bring girls back to that nothing. What's the game?

[Dustin Poirier]

I'm like, there's a tv.

[Ari Matty]

Huh?

[Sponsor Voice]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Gotta give him a look.

[Ari Matty]

TV on the floor or.

[Dustin Poirier]

No, no, it's on the wall. I paid a fella. Oh, before Trump won, he was still here. Oh, got it, got it. Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Mexican. Mexican.

[Dustin Poirier]

Got political that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They're still around. Too many if you ask me. Anyway, I'm kidding. I have to say I'm kidding now.

[Dustin Poirier]

I'm kidding everybody. Anyway, so how could you hang a TV but absolutely nothing else? I mean, normally like high schoolers, college kids, they at least have like unframed posters or something. I'm open to advice if you suggestions, I will. You've never thought of this at all before. No, I don't. What am I supposed to put on my walls?

[Panel Member]

Hot dudes.

[Dustin Poirier]

Tony, what the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know why that would be your first go to.

[Redban]

Do you have interesting pink paint colors at your apartment? Like, you know, like.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, you're right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Back to your normal level of questions. I see. Do you have normal paint colors in your apartment?

[Redmond]

A nice yellow wall.

[Ari Matty]

Are there any plants?

[Flash Goran]

Love.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's no way this guy's got a plant. Are you.

[Ari Matty]

Everything is dead in that Apartment I got candle recently.

[Dustin Poirier]

I felt. I felt fancy about that. Is it a scented candle? Yeah. What is the scent of that candle? It's like vanilla or something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, look at you, Mr. Romance.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Just one candle?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm working my way up.

[Dustin Poirier]

What's the candle sitting on? Is it like a dining room table? A side table?

[Panel Member]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Table. What kind of table? I'm curious.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A children's school desk or something like that? No, that'd be dope.

[Dustin Poirier]

But see, you're into weird. It's a four legged wooden table. Okay, what are its dimensions? Give me a ballpark here. Three by ten by six? We're talking feet or inches here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a massive table. It's quite the regal table in such a 6ft.

[Dustin Poirier]

You're right.

[Redmond]

I have no idea.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

10 foot by 6 foot with nothing on the wall.

[Ari Matty]

The apartment is 10t square.

[Dustin Poirier]

He.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He lives in an interrogation room. Ladies and gentlemen, we're finding out a lot about Pat o'. Neal.

[Ari Matty]

You're so far from it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have a seat. Just lights one candle in the middle of this giant table.

[Ari Matty]

What are you, a king?

[Dustin Poirier]

I just write jokes and stare at a monitor.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I get it.

[Dustin Poirier]

It shows, brother.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like I said, you are an absolute hilarious.

[Dustin Poirier]

It's incredible. I'm going to throw Dustin under the bus here. What do you think about this guy? If you just. Whatever you say. There's no wrong answer.

[Panel Member]

I don't know, man. Thinking of this guy coming home to an empty clean wall apartment is kind of freaky, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I agree.

[Ari Matty]

See, he's scarier than you somehow.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, somehow he is scarier.

[Dustin Poirier]

Way scarier.

[Panel Member]

Watch a movie. Like the Dahmer. You're gonna just watch a movie?

[Ari Matty]

For sure. What's your kink?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, good question.

[Ari Matty]

You have a thing?

[Dustin Poirier]

I'm missionary.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Yeah. Missionary on a giant empty table with one candle. Pat, you're the man, dude.

[Dustin Poirier]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you for getting tonight's episode started. How it's done. That's a golden ticket winner. Now we go to the bucket. This is the beating heart of the show. This is where we meet everybody. This is where we met Ari.

[Dustin Poirier]

Maddie.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is where we met Pat o', Neill, everybody. William Montgomery, you name it, Everyone was found out of this bucket. This could be the next star. Or it could be somebody who isn't the next star. Make some noise for your first bucket pool of the night. Anastasia Nuggetraga. Anastasia Nadraga.

[Anastasia Nadraga]

I flew here on a blunt. I'm from Austin. I'm in Austin. So basically what happened Was I didn't plan to be here. And then now I'm here. So this guy told me not to say his name on stage. Jimmy Prescott. And he invited me because he said that sometimes I'm funny, but only when people aren't around. Usually I do crowd work, but that's frowned upon when there's only 60 seconds, so. Because y' all take too long to think. But I think it's kind of crazy that the. The Epstein files dropped and everybody just sort of like, cool. Yeah, that's what they're doing. I approve of it. We're not gonna do anything about it. We all know what's going on, and we're just gonna. Whoo. So that's why y' all are here. You're avoiding reality, and that's why I'm here. I'm also avoiding reality. I think I'm funny. Clearly you guys don't, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, that is the full minute

[Dustin Poirier]

from Anastasia Nadraga, ladies and gentlemen.

[Anastasia Nadraga]

Warming up.

[Dustin Poirier]

Let's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, yeah, I bet you were.

[Dustin Poirier]

Let's check in with Ari.

[Ari Matty]

Maddie, see Dustin, this is me at mma.

[Dustin Poirier]

You look like you get pummeled, Anastasia. The mental illness is staggering.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's talk about it.

[Dustin Poirier]

So what made you sign up for this exactly? Your story is that a friend peer pressured you into this, Basically.

[Fiona Cauley]

Are you a mind reader?

[Anastasia Nadraga]

Can you hear what else I'm thinking?

[Redban]

You said that, like five seconds ago.

[Anastasia Nadraga]

Oh, well, he said mental illness, so, you know.

[Dustin Poirier]

Ah, yeah. Again, I don't have to read minds

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

to be able to see what's going on in there. Anastasia.

[Ari Matty]

Anastasia. Are you, like, Russian?

[Anastasia Nadraga]

Oh, my God. We don't talk about that.

[Dustin Poirier]

What are you, a mind reader?

[Anastasia Nadraga]

That's not politically correct in this day.

[Dustin Poirier]

Anastasia, let me ask you a question. You brought up the Epstein files, and then you said basically nothing other than we should be doing something. What do you think we should do? What do you think we should all be doing now that the Epstein files have dropped?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know.

[Anastasia Nadraga]

You know, I think it's up to each individual what they want to do, you know?

[Dustin Poirier]

Great answer, Anastasia.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Great answer. You're solving.

[Ari Matty]

You want to be Pat o' Neill's couch?

[Dustin Poirier]

So let's talk about it. Have you ever seen the show before?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're just a friend made you do this. Yeah, right.

[Dustin Poirier]

Have you ever seen the show?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you know where you are right now?

[Anastasia Nadraga]

I think that time is running out and it's the end of the world. So that's where I am right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

Doesn't get much worse than you. You're the worst.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You can't answer basic questions and you

[Anastasia Nadraga]

love it, I can tell. Look at that. Look at that fear in your eyes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're done. You get nothing.

[Dustin Poirier]

Go

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

woo your way through the rest of your life. I can't imagine what the rest of it's like. Go. Go that way. Yikes. It's. Hey, that is proof, ladies and gentlemen, if you need it.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What a palate cleanser. The lovely Heidi, everybody. By the way, that Anastasia is proof that the bucket is real. Let it be known this is a very random improvised show. I mean, holy. Either she has serious problems now. Yeah, she has serious problems.

[Dustin Poirier]

Hello there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This podcast is sponsored by Shopify.

[Dustin Poirier]

Starting something new isn't just hard, it's terrifying. So much work goes into something and this thing is so especially that you're not entirely sure will work out. And it can be hard to make that leap of faith. Trust me, I know. When I started this podcast I was thinking, what if no one listens? What if no one wants to watch a silly open mic on YouTube? Now I know that I was right by believing in myself and launching this podcast despite all the fears and hesitation. It also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side. And speaking of partners, here's Redband.

[Redban]

Oh, Tony is my favorite partner. And Tony, I love Shopify. It's the best business tool out there. You can get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. Plus get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

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[Dustin Poirier]

With world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond, it's time to turn those what ifs into when Shopify takes over your business today. Use it. Use Shopify and sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com kill Tony. Go to shopify.com kill Tony that's shopify.com kill Tony hello there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This episode is brought to you by Zippix Nicotine Toothpicks. Zipix gives you a clean, convenient and

[Dustin Poirier]

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Red band Tony.

[Redban]

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

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[Dustin Poirier]

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[Dustin Poirier]

smoking and vaping are banned. It's a discreet, better tasting alternative to traditional nicotine products. Zipix also offers caffeine and B12 toothpicks

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

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[Dustin Poirier]

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

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[Dustin Poirier]

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

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[Dustin Poirier]

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Get 10 off your first order with Code Kill tony@zipix toothpicks.com. your next bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen, as you see, could be one of the next big comedians in the world or absolutely a that was talked into coming on a show while having zero talent or preparation whatsoever and the inability to answer basic questions. And his name is Benny Bruce. Let's give him a shot. Put your hands together for Benny Bruce.

[Benny Bruce]

Hey, I. I just started playing dominoes. Anyone like playing dominoes? Yeah, domino's. I found it really exciting. It's like every time you put another piece down, you're like, oh, is it gonna make a swastika? Just. Just moved here to Texas. Hooked up with my first Latina. That was. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Other than, like, I'm not really into dirty talk. I started going down on her and she's like, s queue rico, papi. I put my finger over her lips. I was like, shh. I don't like dirty ducks. Speak English.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fuck yeah, buddy. Thank you very much, Benny Bruce. Making it look easy after Anastasia Draga. That was awesome.

[Benny Bruce]

Thank you.

[Dustin Poirier]

How long you been on standup?

[Benny Bruce]

Just over a year.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice.

[Benny Bruce]

But I didn't really. I moved here a month and a half ago.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, yeah.

[Benny Bruce]

That's when I, like, really hit it hard.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where were you at originally before this? Where is the medium Lebowski from exactly?

[Benny Bruce]

Grand Rapids, Michigan.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Welcome, welcome. How recently did you move here?

[Benny Bruce]

A month and a half ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nice.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice.

[Benny Bruce]

I moved out of Michigan in August, though. I just took my time traveling around the country.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's awesome. Tell us about that. What was that like, traveling the country? What stood out to you? What did you learn about yourself?

[Benny Bruce]

That I need a better car. I got stranded in. I got stranded in Alabama for a little over a month because my transmission

[Ari Matty]

went out the Car got stranded with you?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah. Let's check in with Dustin Poirier.

[Panel Member]

How long have you been working for the. For ISIS sex department?

[Dustin Poirier]

What do you do for work? How do you make money? What exactly? What type of vapes do you sell?

[Benny Bruce]

I just got a job like three weeks ago here. I'm a brand ambassador for a flooring company.

[Dustin Poirier]

For a flooring company.

[Benny Bruce]

Go to, like, home shows and, like, you want your floors updated.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love that. So you are very Lebowski esque. He was looking for a rug and you are a flooring ambassador. Tie the room together.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Indeed.

[Dustin Poirier]

How much marijuana do you have to smoke a day to wear the exact outfit that you're wearing? Is that about a quarter ounce or so?

[Benny Bruce]

You know, consistently?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love it. Benny. Bruce, you're a very, very funny guy. How much material do you think you have of that quality if you had to, like, string a set together?

[Benny Bruce]

I mean, the most I've ever done is only five minutes, but, I mean, I think I could probably do 10.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Cool.

[Dustin Poirier]

Well, you're in the right place to do it now. What. What have you. What do you love about Austin?

[Benny Bruce]

Just like the opportunity. I can go up on stage every day multiple times.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Benny Bruce]

In Grand Rapids. It was like a couple times a month.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah. Grand Rapids, Michigan is a very tough, weird.

[Benny Bruce]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Quirky place.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

What. What was that like? Were parents together?

[Mark Neuer]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

You have a normal American pie family?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah.

[Benny Bruce]

I was, like, raised Catholic and stuff.

[Ari Matty]

They're loving. Yeah.

[Benny Bruce]

Oh, yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Even. Even to you?

[Benny Bruce]

Oh, yeah. I was a firstborn. I'm the favorite.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love it. I love it. And what do they think about your pot smoking, stand up comedy aspirations?

[Benny Bruce]

They're about it.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love that.

[Benny Bruce]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's amazing.

[Benny Bruce]

Yeah. My parents are very supportive.

[Dustin Poirier]

What's your love life like? Are you currently in love with a water bong or something like that?

[Ari Matty]

I.

[Benny Bruce]

The reason I moved, I was engaged for two years and that didn't happen anymore. So then I was like, what happened?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was Anastasia. She started talking and he's like, dude, I gotta get the out of here. I'm taking my shitty car and I'm just driving anywhere. I'm gonna go straight to Alabama to start.

[Ari Matty]

I'm gonna start comedy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'd rather be stranded in Alabama than Anastasia.

[Dustin Poirier]

What did go wrong with the engagement?

[Benny Bruce]

We fought a lot. We did too many drugs.

[B. Lee]

Ah.

[Dustin Poirier]

What kind of drugs are we talking about here?

[Benny Bruce]

A lot of psychedelics. Ketamine was a big one.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Benny Bruce]

But I've been off of all of it. Since I moved.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice. Yeah, very good.

[Benny Bruce]

Still weed, though, for sure.

[Ari Matty]

How's it helped, like, your comedy? What's that going? Coming off. How's it help? Like, your comedy? Because you started. You were all up.

[Benny Bruce]

Yeah, I mean, I don't care. I mean, I started, you know, like a year and a half ago or whatever, but, like, I wasn't taking it seriously until I moved here.

[Ari Matty]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Benny Bruce]

Still, like, I would write, but now I'm, like, really writing. Getting up all the time. Yeah.

[Flash Goran]

That was a good set.

[Mark Neuer]

Thank you.

[Ari Matty]

Good. Really. Two good. Really good jokes.

[Benny Bruce]

Thanks.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah.

[Benny Bruce]

That's the first time I ever did the dirty talk one.

[Ari Matty]

Really?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Benny Bruce]

I only wrote it.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

That was awesome.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a great joke, Benny. Bruce, I see a bright, bright future

[Dustin Poirier]

ahead of you, man. You have some really funny jokes and a good style. I'm excited. Some of the best comedians in the world are people that used to do a lot of drugs, that no longer do drugs, and fill that brain space and shit with writing and performing and stuff. So keep up the great work and good luck in the future.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here's a. Here's a big joke book. We're going to keep it moving along. We're flying on to the next one.

[Dustin Poirier]

There he goes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some noise for your next bucket poll, ladies and gentlemen. It's Bryce Wright. Bryce Wright.

[Bryce Wright]

Let me hear some noise, Austin. I just want to give an introduction to myself. I'm mixed, black and white. I dropped out of school. I learned all my math from drug dealing. And I'm actually the best of my whole family at math. Right. Cause I'm half black. The rest of my family, I hang around as white. But for some reason, they always refer to me as three fifths, which I never understood because the fraction is actually one half. But it's hard being mixed, you know? Cause people always get so nosy. Always have to ask the same question, like, oh, which parent is mixed?

[B. Lee]

Which parent is black?

[Dustin Poirier]

Which parent is white?

[Bryce Wright]

You know? But I never tell them. I just kind of give them a hint. Someone's like, is your mom black or is your mom white? And I was like, my mom is fat. And for the white people to understand that, I just don't know my dad. That's the real reason. But, yeah, man, I feel like human connection is really important. I talked to a guy the other day. I said, yeah, man, I'm a comedian.

[Dustin Poirier]

He said, wow.

[Bryce Wright]

I was an actor in New York for 10 years, and then I sung in the opera for five years. And then My whole career got ruined. Cause I got throat cancer. So now he's a mime. All right, that's all the times.

[Dustin Poirier]

All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Bryce, right?

[Dustin Poirier]

Welcome to the show.

[Bryce Wright]

Thank you.

[Dustin Poirier]

How are you?

[Bryce Wright]

I am 21.

[Dustin Poirier]

21 years old?

[Bryce Wright]

Yes, sir.

[Redmond]

Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

So how old are you really?

[Bryce Wright]

I am.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's the preferred answer, 21. Are you really 21? Yeah. Okay. What do you do for work?

[Bryce Wright]

I produce comedy shows in Jacksonville, Florida.

[Dustin Poirier]

How do you make money producing comedy

[Bryce Wright]

shows in Jacksonville, Florida?

[Dustin Poirier]

How many comedy shows do you produce a month?

[Bryce Wright]

Two different venues. Usually about three to four.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, and that's doing it for you. How do you. How do you draw people to your venues?

[Bryce Wright]

Meta ads, retargeting ads, marketing, all that.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. How much money do you have?

[Bryce Wright]

Well, I run comedy shows, so not much at all.

[Dustin Poirier]

What's the. Just give us a ballpark.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How much.

[Dustin Poirier]

Have we checked your Chase Savings account right now? What would be in there?

[Bryce Wright]

Probably, on average, about 2,000. Probably.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. All right. And now you live in Austin?

[Bryce Wright]

Oh, no, no, I don't live here. I just visited.

[Dustin Poirier]

Still in Jacksonville?

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah, still in Jacksonville.

[Dustin Poirier]

What's your rent?

[Bryce Wright]

I live with my parents.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice. Okay.

[Chase Standing]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Both of them pure profit. Yeah.

[Bryce Wright]

Jail me up, man.

[Dustin Poirier]

Profit king. Jail up.

[Ari Matty]

You said jail you up.

[Dustin Poirier]

Here we go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is.

[Ari Matty]

Is kill Tony 21 already in prison.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yes. What, the drugs, obviously.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is just marijuana.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah, just marijuana. A gun, but okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Bryce Wright]

You can't have. You got to have them both together. You never know if you're going to get robbed.

[Ari Matty]

Gun. Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

So let's talk about it. Like, what were you doing when. When that happened? Like, you were.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You got pulled over?

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah, I was getting pulled over going through Clay County. And I think I thought I was slick because I used to sit where I turned my high beams on so I could see the reflectors of, like, sheriff cars that are, like, waiting for people.

[Dustin Poirier]

Really.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They'll never notice you if you do that. You get to see them first.

[Dustin Poirier]

Genius. Where do you get this weed from? I want some,

[Bryce Wright]

man. You get that shipped.

[Panel Member]

Did you tell the cops that the white side of you told the black side not to sell the drugs?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dustin Poirier. Boom, boom, boom.

[Bryce Wright]

That's the best. Yeah, that's the best base. Mma. And then comedy. It works perfectly. If you don't have ct or if

[Panel Member]

you do have it, it might work out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. You Bryce, right?

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, so what did the cops say when he came up to the car? He said, I'm detecting the odor of marijuana.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah. And then I was and you're like,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

how did you even see me? Dude, my brides were on, and then they weren't on, and I was basically flashing my lights at you.

[Ari Matty]

Dude, you do look like. That is crazy that drug dealers always look like drug dealers too. Dude, when I pull you over, I'm literally like, I'm searching this whole car.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah, it's free advertising, dude. I gotta let them know I got.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah, they.

[Bryce Wright]

They told me first thing. Obviously, it smells like weed. And I was like, you know, that's not probable cause because I saw some on Tick Tock. I was like, no, no, that's not. What are you talking about?

[Ari Matty]

Okay, so they said, like, they love that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Police love that when you tell them, I know my rights.

[Ari Matty]

Where's the gun? Where's the gun?

[Dustin Poirier]

Wait, the cop talking to you, where's the gun?

[Bryce Wright]

You sound just like him. It was in the glove compartment, obviously.

[Ari Matty]

And you were like, looking for. Is the license there?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right? You're like, my registration's right in.

[Ari Matty]

Oh, you know, if they see a gun, they shoot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Luckily, your skin tone, you're safe. You better thank your mama, boy. All right, D Madness now knows exactly what you look like.

[Bryce Wright]

Well, I. What the method is, and I feel like I'm gonna go back to jail for saying like this, but the method is. Is you. Is you keep. You keep the gun and glove compartment, and you take out the registration, you take out insurance, and you keep it just anywhere else, like the center console. And I remember I grabbed for the glove compartment by instinct, and I was like. And then he knew instantly. I was like, really?

[Ari Matty]

He knew something's in there?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ari Matty]

So then. Okay, okay. So then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then. So you give the registration. It's expired.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah, it was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was it really?

[Ari Matty]

Was it really wasn't there?

[Bryce Wright]

No, it wasn't expired. I think what got him, though, is when I was like, my mom has to text me a picture of the insurance, the geico. So that was.

[Ari Matty]

Okay. So then.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then how fast was her response?

[Dustin Poirier]

Just out of curiosity, Was it immediate?

[Bryce Wright]

She did not respond.

[Redmond]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was it late at night?

[Bryce Wright]

It was. Yeah, it was late at night. It was the dumbest decision ever. Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

So then. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Dustin Poirier]

And then you get out of the

[Ari Matty]

car or what's the.

[Dustin Poirier]

What's.

[Bryce Wright]

Until you get out of the car. They go to search it. He pulls open the passenger door.

[Ari Matty]

Why would you search in the glove box? Right?

[Bryce Wright]

That's exactly what I thought. What a idiot. Right? So he opens it, and the Partner just looks up and they instantly put me in cuffs.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[B. Lee]

And then I go to jail.

[Dustin Poirier]

How long did you go to jail for?

[Bryce Wright]

Like, solid 12 hours, bro. I bonded out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the.

[Bryce Wright]

Do you.

[Redmond]

Wow.

[Bryce Wright]

I got drug money. I'm bonding out of this.

[Dustin Poirier]

Hell, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

2,000 bucks.

[Bryce Wright]

2,000 bucks.

[Dustin Poirier]

What did you learn in that 12 hours in jail? What surprised you? I learned that stood out to you.

[Bryce Wright]

Okay, the jail was actually not that bad at all. It was. It was Clay county, and I'm in Jacksonville, so that's Duval County.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, that's the closest you've ever

[Dustin Poirier]

been to living on your own, so

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'd imagine it was pretty nice for you.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So I think the big shout out, Clay County Jail, by the way, how could I skip over the compliments?

[Bryce Wright]

I think the biggest thing I noticed was, like, it was actually really nice. The people were nice. And when I got in there, like, all.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, yes, the Clay County Jail.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Welcome for all of you. Gun yielding pots, smokers that look like Crusty the Clown. We.

[Dustin Poirier]

Well, we have welcoming gates.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Come on in.

[Dustin Poirier]

Make sure you keep your gun in

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

your glove compartment like a real dumbass, and we shall roll out the red carpet for you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Did you get to eat while you were there? They have a little snack for you.

[Bryce Wright]

Oh, no, I didn't eat in there. I knew I was bonded out.

[Dustin Poirier]

Hell, yeah.

[Ari Matty]

How much was the bond?

[Bryce Wright]

1500.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, my God.

[Ari Matty]

Mom had to cover it, huh? Mom. Mom had to cover it.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bryce Wright]

She had to take out some income tax money for that one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Damn.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, I had a feeling you weren't making that much producing shows once a month in Jacksonville, but 2,000amonth is a good lie. Bryce, what else is going on in your life? You single?

[Bryce Wright]

No, no, no. I got a. My girl's actually right out at Shakespeare right now. She's a very loyal woman. She gives me rim jobs every day. I'd never cheat on her.

[Dustin Poirier]

Is that true? She eats your ass.

[Redban]

Fucking gross.

[Ari Matty]

Imagine being a girlfriend at that shithole bar supporting your boyfriend.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

While he's on stage. Yeah. She ribs me every day.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Bryce Wright]

My asshole is cleaner than that bar. By all do me means, I will

[Ari Matty]

tell you by looking at the overall thing. I disagree. Show me your. Show me a little bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's see it. By all due means, ladies and gentlemen, by all do means, how do you

[Dustin Poirier]

keep your ass so clean?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The world wants to know. I'm getting.

[Dustin Poirier]

I'm getting this in my ear right now.

[Luke Aaron]

Okay?

[Bryce Wright]

So you ever heard of dude wipes?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yes.

[Bryce Wright]

They got a New flavor of dude wipes called Dump. Dumpkin spice. It's a pumpkin spice dude wipes. Every time your girl eats your ass, she's like, it smells like fall.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfect.

[Bryce Wright]

White girls love it. See her in the front row, she loves it. Look at her.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, there's red bands one fart noise this episode.

[Dustin Poirier]

So you keep these pumpkin spice dude wipes on you?

[Bryce Wright]

Always.

[Dustin Poirier]

Do you have one on you right now?

[Bryce Wright]

No, it's back at the Airbnb.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. All right. Do you have any other flavors, as

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

you call them, of dude wipes? This is a great dude wipe commercial.

[Bryce Wright]

No, I think. I wish they were paying me. I think they got bubblegum flavor recently. I haven't tried that one.

[Dustin Poirier]

I don't know.

[Bryce Wright]

I'll see. What's that?

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow, that's amazing.

[Redban]

The mint one's the best one.

[Bryce Wright]

The mint one's the best one. Oh, they redband though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Red band just eats the wipes

[Dustin Poirier]

and

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

it's good for bad bread. You should give it to your woman.

[Dustin Poirier]

All right, Bryce Wright, you did, you did. You did it. You did something. You're leaving here with a medium sized black joke book. This is real. This is what black looks like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, and he did not catch it. He is truly mostly white. Ladies and gentlemen, the Bond Man.

[Bryce Wright]

Thank you, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

With all due means. You deserve it, ladies and gentlemen.

[Dustin Poirier]

There he goes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Bryce Wright, everybody.

[Bryce Wright]

Thank you guys for having me. Shout out rooftop comedy show Duvall.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, there he goes, everybody. About to arrest your ass again. We have cops right over here.

[Panel Member]

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[Dustin Poirier]

Hey Meta, where's the nearest metro station?

[Hilton Ad Voice]

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[Dustin Poirier]

about the three blocks away. Hey, Meta. Text mom.

[Ari Matty]

I'm getting on the train now.

[Dustin Poirier]

Sending message.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, let's get another bucket. Pull up here.

[Dustin Poirier]

Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for Eddie Adams, everybody. Eddie Adams, Ladies, who runs the world? Ladies, who runs the world?

[Eddie Adams]

Y' all want to put some money on that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Shalom, everybody. How the fuck we doing?

[Eddie Adams]

My uncle, he's been in the news a lot lately. You may have seen him. I just inherited this book. Everybody keeps asking me, is she Trump's name in this book? Guys, his name is not in this book.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, but that's weird.

[Eddie Adams]

Brian, your name's in this book. Oh, fuck.

[Ari Matty]

My gold.

[Eddie Adams]

Okay, everybody stay calm. Don't move. I gotta get that. Brian, your name's in this book. That's crazy. Tony, you're safe, though. I wouldn't think so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, that's over a minute from Eddie Adams.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where are we gonna sit? There. I'm safe. What?

[Eddie Adams]

I wouldn't expect you to go to an island full of girls.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, very good. There you go. Eddie Adams.

[Dustin Poirier]

Swing a very kill Tony centric set there. I like it. Eddie, how long you been doing stand up?

[Eddie Adams]

Been doing it for five years.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where at?

[Eddie Adams]

Started in Atlanta and then Houston.

[Dustin Poirier]

You still live in Houston?

[Eddie Adams]

I do, yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

What made you do Houston?

[Eddie Adams]

What made me do Houston? I was trying to get closer to family.

[Dustin Poirier]

They live in Houston.

[Eddie Adams]

They lived in Dallas, but I was relocating back to Texas, so it's way closer than Atlanta.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. Yeah, it's a pretty far drive.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

You came out, like, really gay, and then did you notice? He came out, really gay and then it faded away.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Came out gay, ended up being Jewish somehow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a way to please everybody in show business. Hello. Surprised you didn't host the Oscars last night or something like that. Gay and Jewish.

[Dustin Poirier]

Are you gay?

[Eddie Adams]

I am not gay.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's incredible. You sounded gay. All right, Eddie. So five years. And how long have you lived in Houston?

[Eddie Adams]

Three years.

[Dustin Poirier]

What do you do for work?

[Eddie Adams]

I sell cars.

[Dustin Poirier]

You do that in Houston?

[Eddie Adams]

I do.

[Dustin Poirier]

What kind of cars do you sell?

[Eddie Adams]

Toyotas.

[Dustin Poirier]

Toyotas. Are you actually Jewish?

[Eddie Adams]

I am.

[Dustin Poirier]

So that's your real yarmulke?

[Eddie Adams]

This is the one that I was bar mitzvahed in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay.

[Eddie Adams]

Broke it out of the closet for this?

[Dustin Poirier]

Absolutely. I also came out of the closet for this show.

[Redban]

Seems like a gay yarmulke, though.

[Ari Matty]

Very gay yarmulke.

[Dustin Poirier]

My goodness. What makes it a gay yarmulke? It's not like black.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's like a flower.

[Benny Bruce]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, it is.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wait, that's the exact same. That's the. That's made from the drug rug that

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Benny Bruce wore earlier.

[Eddie Adams]

Is it gay because it's the same color as your microphone?

[Redmond]

What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. You're getting roasted by a Toyota car salesman. Oh, my God.

[Ari Matty]

God.

[Dustin Poirier]

What kind of Toyotas are you slinging the most? What's your specialty?

[Eddie Adams]

Tacomas.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, let's do a little thing here. I just walked into. But I'm not me. I'm just a normal stranger and I just walked into your car dealership. Hey, what's up, man? I'm looking for a car.

[Eddie Adams]

We got some pretty good pre owned vans in the back. You want me to go show you them?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right,

[Bryce Wright]

all right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Eddie Adams. Not gay. He swears he's not gay.

[Dustin Poirier]

What's your love life like? You have a girlfriend right now?

[Eddie Adams]

I just got married.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, congratulations. She's Jewish as well.

[Eddie Adams]

She is not Jewish.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa.

[Dustin Poirier]

What is. She

[Eddie Adams]

is agnostic white.

[Dustin Poirier]

Just a normal white lady?

[B. Lee]

Yep.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where'd you meet her at?

[Eddie Adams]

Hinge.

[Dustin Poirier]

Hinge, okay. And that's the one. Explain to people what Hinge is.

[Eddie Adams]

Hinge is probably like the one where you're not really trying to get laid. You're more trying to go on a date.

[Dustin Poirier]

So gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Redband. Hit your sound effect. Red band. That's a good one.

[Ari Matty]

It's more for brunch.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He doesn't know where his own sound effect is. Everybody should.

[Dustin Poirier]

It's broken right now. All right. It's broken right now. It's. I think it's on that board. By the way, cuz, I know the thing better than you. It's this one.

[Redban]

It crashed just recently.

[Anastasia Nadraga]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfect. Why would you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Why would you. Why would you possibly get it fixed before tonight's taping? Oh, okay. Perfect. It's good to know that we're running

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the same iPad that we've had since the show started 13 years ago.

[Ari Matty]

How long you guys been together?

[Eddie Adams]

Oh, we've been together three and a half years.

[Ari Matty]

Engaged? To her. Oh, yeah. You said married. I'm sorry.

[Dustin Poirier]

I fucked up. How long were you engaged?

[Eddie Adams]

One year.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, where'd you. Where was the wedding at?

[Eddie Adams]

The wedding was in Houston.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow. What made you do it in Houston?

[Eddie Adams]

That's where her family's at. So, you know, she's got a big family and didn't want to have to make some of her older relatives travel.

[Bryce Wright]

Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. What's crazy, do you have any special skills or talents? Eddie Adams, special skills?

[Chase Standing]

Talents?

[Bryce Wright]

No.

[Dustin Poirier]

You collect anything? You have any hobbies or anything like that? Is there something quirky and fun?

[Ari Matty]

How do you feel About Iran.

[Eddie Adams]

Salaam chaturi.

[Dustin Poirier]

What does that mean?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nobody.

[Redmond]

Hello.

[Chase Standing]

How are you?

[Eddie Adams]

In Farsi. We got any Persians in here?

[Dustin Poirier]

No. All right, all right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really winning the crowd over here with your God bombing. Wow. I can't believe the Kill Tony crowd even gives that credit, but all right.

[Dustin Poirier]

All right. Eddie, you really don't do anything other than comedy Sometimes. And sell cars.

[Eddie Adams]

I love soccer. Love watching soccer. I watch it religiously.

[Dustin Poirier]

Latinos over there. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's gay. New sound effect, everybody. When the soundboard crashes, you just have

[Dustin Poirier]

to do it on your own. Interesting. I feel like there's something I'm missing here about you, Eddie. I feel like there's something you're keeping from us now.

[Eddie Adams]

I feel like now would be a good moment to just address. The whole reason I got into comedy was I went to a house party when I was in Atlanta. I knew no one. I was trying to make friends, and I went out to get a drink from the cooler. And a guy named Marcel, I've never seen him again. He said, what do you do? And I told him I was selling cars. And he said, is that what you grew up wanting to do? And I said, no. No one had ever asked me that. Said, well, what did you want to do? And I said, make people laugh. And he said, well, do you promise within a year you'll try to do that? Will you try comedy? And I agreed to do it, and it was Covid, so I never saw him again. I moved away. Anyways.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gay Marcel, if you're listening, you started this.

[Dustin Poirier]

Here you go. You need.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You need.

[Dustin Poirier]

If there's anybody I know that needs to write actual jokes, it's you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So there's a big joke book. There he goes. Eddie Adams, his Kill Tony debut. We'll see him again sometime. All right, we have a special treat for y'.

[Redmond]

All.

[Dustin Poirier]

We have a. A very well known, great comic out

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

of New York visiting during the festival south by Southwest season.

[Dustin Poirier]

Who's going to do a minute for us? Maybe a little touch more.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're gonna let her go, ladies and gentlemen, you know, or make some noise for Karen Feehan, everybody. Here she is. Special treat. A real comedian.

[Karen Feehan]

God, this is so exciting. Hi. Hi. Hi, Dustin.

[Bryce Wright]

Hi.

[Karen Feehan]

How are we? I know some of you guys might not know it. My name is Karen. I'm from Massachusetts. I was in the Boston ballet for about 10 years. That's why I'm a racist anorexic. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I eat. I'm also an alcoholic. I have a very Helpful tattoo. It says don't serve me on my arm. It's okay. Bartenders can't read cursive. Whenever I miss blacking out, I just sleep with an MMA guy. You know, when I see a cauliflower here, flood. It's not. It's not good. People are so mean about MMA guys.

[Bryce Wright]

They're like.

[Karen Feehan]

They're so dumb. I'm like, no, Their brains are just on the outside now. I'm just kidding. They're pretty dumb. I do this thing. Last bit. I do this thing. I let him come at me and then I go, hey, let's see if this kid's a fighter.

[Ari Matty]

What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fantastic. Karen Behan.

[Dustin Poirier]

That was awesome. Karen, how's life going?

[Karen Feehan]

It's really good. Thanks for having me.

[Dustin Poirier]

Absolutely. Is it true? Have you ever been with a MMA fighter?

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah, I like Gary Tonin. Coming me.

[Dustin Poirier]

Whoa.

[Karen Feehan]

He's the lion tamer. Look him up.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, have you ever heard of Gary Tonin before? Okay. Checks out.

[Sponsor Voice]

Really?

[Anastasia Nadraga]

Thank you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Have you ever let an Owen 3

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

fighter come in you before?

[Karen Feehan]

Anything can happen.

[Flash Goran]

Right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think. I think you might be 04 after this. I love it.

[Dustin Poirier]

Karen, you're great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're from New York.

[Dustin Poirier]

You live in New York.

[Karen Feehan]

That's right. I love New York. I love Austin, though.

[Dustin Poirier]

Hell yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

There's some similarities between Manhattan and Austin. Yeah, like in Manhattan, we have ladies who lunch, and here you guys have ladies who poop in their shoes. I can't. I lied. It's like Cinderella and they step in.

[Anastasia Nadraga]

It's so fun.

[Karen Feehan]

So many Winnie the Poohs out there. All shirts, no pants. I love them. I love it.

[Dustin Poirier]

They're out there.

[Karen Feehan]

I love it.

[Dustin Poirier]

Here they are.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Are you racist?

[Karen Feehan]

No. No. That was just a joke. I do like eyes coming me, though.

[Dustin Poirier]

I don't know if you were gonna be racist.

[Karen Feehan]

Right. Which one?

[Dustin Poirier]

What race would you pick?

[Anastasia Nadraga]

I'm just kidding.

[Karen Feehan]

I mean, I don't know. Jews? Yeah, I love Jews. I went on a bachelorette trip with 14 Jewish women. I'm not Jewish.

[Dustin Poirier]

If you really love Jews and Toyotas,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

boy, do I have a guy for you to meet. Karen, you're fantastic. Thanks for coming in. Karen Feehan everybo. Very funny. We're gonna keep it moving along. You guys having fun out there? We're back to the bucket, everybody. We're gonna meet one all together by the name of Luke. Aaron, put your hands together for Luke, everybody.

[Luke Aaron]

Dating is hard nowadays. I was sleeping with this one girl. I absolutely loved her. I would have done anything for her. But turns out she had no heart beat. It annoys me when old people say, oh, you guys have it so easy nowadays. Like, yeah, y' all had to go to war or whatever, but we also had to deal with trauma. You know, I remember I was like, oh, we had to deal with porn advertisements. I remember I was like 12 years old, and I looked up nude girl with breasts. And then all of a sudden, ad pops up for where, you know, there was a midget that got gang banged by basketball people. You know that. That shit scarred me. Oh, boy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Chase Standing]

Yeah.

[Luke Aaron]

So for the old people, for their trauma, they got. They got called a hero and got a purple heart. All I got was called a pervert and got a purple, purple boner. All right, thank you. That's my time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Luke. Aaron. You've been on the show a couple times. Are you back a couple times?

[Ari Matty]

I was on panel.

[Luke Aaron]

Yes. My first time.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, I remember. Yeah, basketball people. Like black people.

[Luke Aaron]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Ari Matty]

That was like the joke.

[Luke Aaron]

That was the joke.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Like, I am. I got that one. Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Now, last time you were on, you did awkward poetry.

[Luke Aaron]

I did awkward poetry.

[Dustin Poirier]

And the first time you were on, you said you don't want to do open mics because you're afraid people will steal your material.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Am I? Yes.

[Ari Matty]

Was that you with the girlfriend that you mentioned?

[Luke Aaron]

Actually, yes.

[B. Lee]

Wow.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. So I know you guys. You guys hated the poem the last time, but I do have another poem, but this time. This time, I.

[B. Lee]

May I. I.

[Luke Aaron]

You know, this one's a little more serious this time. Am I. Am I allowed to read it?

[Dustin Poirier]

How long is the poem?

[Luke Aaron]

It is shorter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I know. Anything is short.

[Dustin Poirier]

I had to stop you.

[B. Lee]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Last time. How much shorter is it?

[Luke Aaron]

It's a bit shorter. It's.

[Dustin Poirier]

If you had to guess the length of.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

From the start to the end of the poem.

[Luke Aaron]

Two minutes.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's crazy. You're out of your mind. You're out of your mind. Is there anything we don't know about you from the interviews that you've been on?

[Luke Aaron]

I can juggle. I'm. But I'm actually hilarious. But I just. I didn't. I didn't. It's not coming across right now, but I swear. And then. And then I. I also. I also have a poem.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Redban]

Are you also the person that hates.

[Dustin Poirier]

You're very religious, right?

[Luke Aaron]

Yes. So, yeah. Yeah, I am. I was. I'm not anymore. I've kind of. I. In college, I like.

[Dustin Poirier]

God,

[Luke Aaron]

in college, I really like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, dude. You gotta. Sorry, you gotta take a break from signing up for this show. This is, like, unbelievable. You don't prepare, you don't test out

[Dustin Poirier]

any material anywhere, and you just write, like, very long poems that nobody wants to hear. Rhyming, like, isn't that crazy or hard?

[Luke Aaron]

Okay.

[Dustin Poirier]

Poems are not really a thing anymore.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

But what I want to hear. I want to hear what your response is to that. Have you never had anybody tell you you stink before in your life?

[Luke Aaron]

No. Yeah, maybe a few people.

[Dustin Poirier]

You ever play sports? I bet you never played. Did you ever play sports?

[Luke Aaron]

I did play sports.

[Dustin Poirier]

I played sports.

[Luke Aaron]

Basketball.

[Dustin Poirier]

Basketball?

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where, Where. What's.

[Luke Aaron]

Wisconsin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you're probably great in Wisconsin.

[Dustin Poirier]

Basketball.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Did you put.

[Dustin Poirier]

Were you a starter on your team in basketball?

[Luke Aaron]

I was a starter, but There was about 10 people or 10 guys in my high school that were, you know, capable of playing. You know, one was in a wheelchair. Three of us had autism, you know, so I. I made the team.

[Dustin Poirier]

Right?

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Panel Member]

Is that the group of guys that bang the.

[Luke Aaron]

Bang the midget? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah. See, I just don't think you've ever had, like, I don't know, a reality check of any kind. If you're not doing open mics.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

And you're just coming here and. And barely getting through a set and then going, but I have a very long poem.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's not what this show is.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

So you're gonna have to figure out something else or do open mics and figure out if the material that you're going to do on this show works at all.

[Ari Matty]

You're really not doing open mics?

[Luke Aaron]

I. I do. I do it once a while. I do kick butt. Coffee. And then which other ones have I been to? Which other ones? How many times went in Wisconsin?

[Dustin Poirier]

Zero times a week, probably. Probably a total of five open mics total ever, Am I correct?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Probably.

[Dustin Poirier]

All right.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So there you go.

[Ari Matty]

This is bad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Luke Aaron]

You gotta go to open mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

You gotta do something else.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Give it six months.

[Dustin Poirier]

Sign up again in six months. Okay.

[Luke Aaron]

Okay.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. Yeah. This isn't just the Get Attention show.

[Luke Aaron]

Okay.

[Dustin Poirier]

There you go.

[Luke Aaron]

I'm sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes. With a mic minimum, Matt Muling, who never talks, has a great idea.

[Dustin Poirier]

You have to do at least 50 open mics before you sign up again. You have six months to do that. That's not that hard.

[Luke Aaron]

Okay.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. There you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Kiltoni exit of Luke Aaron Sometimes gets real. You got a girl that didn't know what she was signing up for. You have a guy that literally just

[Dustin Poirier]

wants attention and there you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gay. I remember something about him.

[Bryce Wright]

He used to.

[Redban]

He said last time he was angry at his girlfriend for showing too much skin.

[Dustin Poirier]

Remember that?

[Redban]

He hated showing her legs and stuff like that.

[Dustin Poirier]

Weird stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okie dokie. All right.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. Hey, Luke, you want to come be the sound guy for the rest of the episode?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We need some poems. All right. Hello there, everybody. This podcast is sponsored by Talk Space. Talk Space is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere. It's easy to get started. Sign up online and get paired with a licensed provider. Typically within 48 hours. You can take your appointments from the comfort and privacy of your own home and talk it out between sessions by sending text messages to your therapist. Unlike other telehealth companies, psychiatry is available through Talkspace so you can get the medication you need to supplement the talk therapy if needed. Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a zero dollar copay.

[Dustin Poirier]

Now I'm going to let my man

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Redban tell you why he loves Talk Space.

[Redban]

Oh, you know, I love Talk Space. They're providing some of the best mental health treatment around. Therapy has led me to some real moments of transformation.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's right. And as a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.comtony and enter promo code SPACE80. That's SPAC80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.comtony and enter promo code SPACE80.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava theater stage on April 30th. The powerful vocals of Demi Lovato on May 17th, and the signature southern country rock of Eric Church on July 19. Tickets on sale now at yamavatheater.com only. At Yamava Resort and Casino, celebrating its 40th anniversary. You in? Must be 21 to enter

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

your next bucket bowl. Anything Can Happen. Clearly. Clearly, Anything Can Happen goes by the name of Chase Standing.

[Dustin Poirier]

Everybody, Chase Standing.

[Chase Standing]

What's going on, y'?

[Dustin Poirier]

All?

[Chase Standing]

I've got a new girlfriend. She's kind of pushy in the bedroom. Like, she's very instructional. Like, God, every time I go down on my girl, I feel like I'm playing a fucked up game. Of bop it. Cause I'm down there with my A game. I'm doing my best, and she's just giving me instructions like, flick it, Lick it, kiss it, suck it, push it, pull it, Lick it. Suck it. Suck it. Suck it, Bop it. Also, can we be real? That's like an impossible game to beat. My high score is like three. Pass it to a friend. My girlfriend's got a landing strip. Pull it. My girlfriend's got a landing strip. I call that shit the Gaza Strip. I call my girlfriend's vagina Gaza because I shoot loads at it and children are dying in there.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Checks out with me. Chase Standen.

[Dustin Poirier]

Welcome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Chase.

[Dustin Poirier]

Have you been on this show before?

[Chase Standing]

No, I haven't.

[Dustin Poirier]

Welcome, welcome. How long you been on stand up?

[Chase Standing]

A year and a half. And I've been signing up the entire time.

[Redmond]

Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

Congrats. You finally got up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Crazy that this is the first time

[Dustin Poirier]

we've gotten you up. Meanwhile, Luke Aaron has bored us to

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

death three or four times.

[Dustin Poirier]

Absolutely incredible.

[Chase Standing]

Hey, he's making my job easier.

[Bryce Wright]

Easy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He makes you look great. This is the second time tonight somebody's gone up after somebody that was horrendous

[Dustin Poirier]

and looked real good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look great. We don't even know if you're great,

[Dustin Poirier]

but anything's better than that, no? Very funny, Chase. Was all that comedy done in Austin? You from Austin?

[Chase Standing]

Yes, I started out here.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice. Where are you originally from?

[Chase Standing]

Denver.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, cool. What do you do for work?

[Chase Standing]

I just became a full time producer in Stand Up.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice.

[Chase Standing]

This is fucking crazy. I met the owner of the aquariums out here and fucking talked my way into a contract. So I'm gonna be producing shows in aquariums of all places.

[Dustin Poirier]

You're gonna be doing comedy shows in aquariums?

[Chase Standing]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

[Dustin Poirier]

This guy that you met,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

God, every time I'm about to replace you with a poem, you do something like that and you completely redeem.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, so the guy that you met

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

goes, hey, what's up? I'm the head of aquariums.

[Dustin Poirier]

Like, what? I don't understand. There's. There's like an aquarium box.

[Chase Standing]

It's fishy as.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you slap a. Was that all a lie to get that joke?

[Dustin Poirier]

Swear to God,

[Chase Standing]

it's. I. I met him through a friend, you know, he was a Mormon for 45 years of his life, and he's a pothead. So I've been dealing with that. And now he's going to see this. So I might not be a full time producer anymore.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you might be in deep Water.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love it. So, Chase, what did you do before becoming an imaginary aquarium producer?

[Chase Standing]

Oh, man, I feel like every job I've had is fake. I. I was like a salesman for open AI, but I didn't sell anything. I just wrote prompts for them and I used chat GPT to produce my work, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Chase Standing]

I wasn't allowed to do that. I just, like, spent hours being like, make sure this doesn't come out like a. Like, it's AI.

[Redban]

That's actually a funny bit, man.

[Redmond]

Right there.

[Chase Standing]

I'm working on it. It's got some legs. It's got some fins.

[Dustin Poirier]

There you go. Okay. What's another job? Give us a.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Give us another job while you have the dolphins. This is insane.

[Chase Standing]

Used to do door to door sales. It was commission only. I got guns pulled on me. I got chased by pit bulls. The worst. Like, the thing with door to door is like, I'm going to close this deal at your kitchen table, right? This guy's my dad's age, his daughter's my age, and I'm about to close like a 60k deal. And he's like, I'll buy it if I can see it. I was like, what? And he was like, I'll buy it if I can see it. And then the guy groped me, grabbed my dick.

[Ari Matty]

60k sale, though.

[Chase Standing]

Yeah. Hey, anything for the clothes. Anything for the clothes.

[Ari Matty]

Dude, that's just a grove.

[Chase Standing]

It's just a grub.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, that's warm up, dude.

[Chase Standing]

Yeah, dude, I.

[Ari Matty]

That's jiu jitsu.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

What were you selling?

[Chase Standing]

Solar panels.

[Dustin Poirier]

Hell.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And did you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Did you close that deal?

[Chase Standing]

No, I ran out of the house. I. I froze.

[Bryce Wright]

What a. Jesus.

[Ari Matty]

These days you can't even grab dude's. They just run out. Like.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh,

[Redban]

wow.

[Ari Matty]

As soon as you ran out, he must have been like.

[Mark Neuer]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Started up his diesel engine that he runs everything off of the.

[Ari Matty]

I'm already hard by the time you grope me. Who's scared now?

[Chase Standing]

I'm ready. I'm ready. Dude,

[Dustin Poirier]

how much money did you make selling solar panels? Door to door commission.

[Chase Standing]

I worked for them for like four months. I probably made like three grand.

[Redmond]

Wow.

[Chase Standing]

Awful.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, it's awful.

[Chase Standing]

All I got was my honked dick, right?

[Ari Matty]

What's the sales pitch for a solar panel?

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, God.

[Bryce Wright]

You.

[Chase Standing]

You care about the environment? No.

[Ari Matty]

Okay.

[Chase Standing]

Neither do I.

[Ari Matty]

Okay. Yes, I do. I do. I do. I love it. I love it. I love. I love.

[Chase Standing]

You love the environment?

[Ari Matty]

I love it.

[Chase Standing]

You like the sun?

[Benny Bruce]

I love this.

[Chase Standing]

You want to make money from the Sun.

[Ari Matty]

Hell, yeah.

[Chase Standing]

Honk.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go.

[Dustin Poirier]

We give us some more jobs, Chase. Give us some more of your wacky jobs.

[Chase Standing]

I. I worked at Home Depot. I worked in the garden department, AKA the milk department.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, tell us about that.

[Ari Matty]

I need a hose.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

I bet you didn't mind getting groped there, huh?

[Chase Standing]

No, dude. I. I was looking for it in the back.

[Dustin Poirier]

I was like, come here. You wanna.

[Chase Standing]

You wanna water this plant? I was forklift certified, and this was in Boulder, Colorado. There was a dispo right behind it. So on my lunch break, I'd go get high as fuck and just drive forklift around.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Chase Standing]

I had friends.

[Ari Matty]

That's all those videos, you know when a forklift just takes the whole warehouse?

[B. Lee]

Is this guy.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Chase Standing]

I had friends that worked with me saying, like, you need two people. Like, you've been in Home Depot. You know, the guy with forklift, they got flags and shit. I'd bring my buddy over and we'd just pull shit down and put it back up with no purpose.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Chase Standing]

It's like, I'm on the forklift. You're not gonna tell me I'm not doing my job.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Chase Standing]

Anything you need, Dave.

[Redmond]

What do you need?

[Dustin Poirier]

What city was this in where there's white guys working at Home Depot again?

[Chase Standing]

Boulder, Colorado.

[Dustin Poirier]

Boulder, Colorado. One of these safest ranked, the best city to live in. It's like, true or something. It is.

[Chase Standing]

I'm lucky I came from Boulder to here.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, give us another job.

[Chase Standing]

Another job?

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, man, I. You.

[Chase Standing]

I was a recruiter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's your favorite sound in the world.

[Chase Standing]

I was a recruiter. I sold people. Not like that.

[Dustin Poirier]

All right. Okay. I guess we ran out of funny jobs.

[Chase Standing]

Oh, I was a caddy. I was a caddy for a little bit. Oh, that was very unique.

[Dustin Poirier]

You were pretty catty towards the guy that groped you.

[Benny Bruce]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Could have had solar panels. Ari. Matty, what's cooking over there? What do you think about this guy?

[Ari Matty]

What did you say before he grabbed your car?

[Chase Standing]

I think I said something like, you want to do this? It's probably giving him the wrong idea. I was like, are we doing this or not, man? Probably. Oh, we're doing it.

[Dustin Poirier]

Maybe I got the story confused. You said he had a daughter that was your age. Was she there when he did that?

[Chase Standing]

No, he was like a married man with daughters. So he was like a closeted gay guy and they were like, in the house, and he's like, talking shit about how much he hated his wife. And then he was just like, see it?

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow. Incredible. Chase, what's another fun fact about your life that we would find very interesting?

[Chase Standing]

Before I got into stand up, I did like a year of acting and self tapes, and then I found comedy through acting, and I just. I like this way more, but.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah. Well, you're good, man. You did a good job tonight.

[Ari Matty]

Great job.

[Dustin Poirier]

Here's a big joke, Buck.

[Chase Standing]

Thank you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Boom.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Chase, stand in. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat for you guys. Performing for you tonight is one of the greatest golden ticket winners in the entire show's history, ladies and gentlemen. You know her, you love her. Make some noise for the great Fiona, everybody. She's here live in the fl. The one and the only. Make some noise one more time for Fiona Cauley, everybody.

[Fiona Cauley]

I know I've talked a lot about being married, but I used to be, like, a real big whore, okay? And I don't feel bad about it. I think anyone in my situation would have done the same. Okay? You know, I was 18, I was single, diagnosed with this shit. I thought I was dying, you know, I wanted to roll into as much dick as possible, you know? And then you find out you're not really dying, and now you're like, just a whore. And that is a hard truth to live with. But back in my day, I had a good amount of one night stands, okay? But I'm a normal lady. Sometimes I wanted to, like, sneak out. Hmm. This shit made it impossible every time I back up.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay?

[Fiona Cauley]

So I did figure out, like, a workaround for it. I started only fucking black guys.

[Dustin Poirier]

The great Fiona Cauley, ladies and gentlemen.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fiona.

[Dustin Poirier]

How's it going?

[Fiona Cauley]

Good, how are you?

[Dustin Poirier]

I'm fantastic.

[Ari Matty]

It must be wild, like, being a guy who you back in the day. And then you show.

[Fiona Cauley]

Take too much credit.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah. And then you show the boys, like, look at her now.

[Dustin Poirier]

Fiona, have you ever been with a black man?

[Fiona Cauley]

I. I have, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You almost said you tried.

[Dustin Poirier]

Now, what exactly does that mean?

[Fiona Cauley]

Didn't fit 12 inches. I'm not kidding. That is why I'm in the wheelchair. It feels good, to be honest.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow. Incredible. Where'd you meet this guy?

[Fiona Cauley]

At college?

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, we have another one for you right here.

[Fiona Cauley]

That's who I was talking about.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Deep Madness. Did a little college tour.

[Dustin Poirier]

Put a lot of ladies in a lot of wheelchairs.

[Fiona Cauley]

Little college tour. A little college.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Hell, yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

A word play.

[Dustin Poirier]

So you had a wild college life, did you?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. Yeah. I thought I was dying.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

When was that? How long ago was that?

[Fiona Cauley]

I graduated in 2019.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

And you had you had your condition then?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, I got diagnosed at 18, so.

[Dustin Poirier]

Right before. Yeah. So you're like, I'm dying. I'm gonna.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, I'm gonna.

[Dustin Poirier]

A blind guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's why I can't wait to get my terminal illness diagnosis. Just, finally just.

[Dustin Poirier]

Just blast this ass once and for all.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But I'm waiting. I'm holding out strong until I have a few months to live.

[Fiona Cauley]

Proud of you.

[Ari Matty]

I used to bang a girl with cancer and I thought she was going to die too, so. And she lives still, so.

[Fiona Cauley]

Ah, that's hard.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, it was bad.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah. I was trying to get more microwaves around the house. I got some fi. Fi. Routers. I put an iPad under her pillow. We got. Got vaccines. Try to make it. She made it though. So now she's out there knowing I

[Fiona Cauley]

have a tiny well, that's why she survived, because you're.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fiona.

[Dustin Poirier]

How's married life going?

[Fiona Cauley]

Really good. Yeah, it's the same.

[Dustin Poirier]

Same old, same old. And how's the condition?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You sound great.

[Dustin Poirier]

You look great.

[Fiona Cauley]

Thank you. I think the meds are working.

[Dustin Poirier]

Uh huh. Your doctor's solid.

[Fiona Cauley]

You know, it's actually funny. People ask me a lot if the medicine is working, which is a really hard thing to answer because all they're supposed to do is like, stop me from getting worse. So the question is like, have you noticed nothing? You know, and the only, like, real evidence I have that it might be working is every time I post a video online, there are always hundreds of people that comment. If you put this in 2x speed, she's cured, you know, and now, now they're commenting. If you put this 1.5x speed.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, look at that.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Amazing.

[Fiona Cauley]

Dustin, what's up? I got beef with you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, this Netflix UFC card's about to get a little bit crazier.

[Ari Matty]

Try to low kick her. She feels nothing.

[Fiona Cauley]

My secret sauce. Now on my birthday, I bet $300 on you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, shit.

[Panel Member]

Who'd I fight?

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, motherfuck. I was fucked up. I don't remember, but it was July. July 19th. And I was furious. Cause I don't know anything, but my husband is gay. Yeah,

[Panel Member]

I think that was if it was July. It was my retirement fight.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh.

[Sponsor Voice]

Oh.

[Fiona Cauley]

Hey. You're beautiful. And I love that you mock and it's so good on you.

[Panel Member]

The what?

[Fiona Cauley]

You can walk. I love that. Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Well, that's great that you got to watch his last fight and he got to watch your last set. That is so awesome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What an exciting thing. She's actually going to leave. Leave her. She's going to leave her wheels on the stage like you guys leave the gloves in the octagon. Your. Your laugh has become iconic here on the show.

[Dustin Poirier]

You do know this, right?

[Fiona Cauley]

I was doing my own show, and someone's phone went off, and it was my laugh. It's insane.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's amazing. You want to give us one just for old time's sake?

[Fiona Cauley]

It's not the same.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. The great Fiona, ladies and gentlemen. Not only is she still with us, she's absolutely funnier than ever. It's amazing. Okay,

[Dustin Poirier]

there she goes, everybody.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Maddie says he has to go pee. I think he has a wheelchair fetish. We'll see what happens next

[Fiona Cauley]

wave to earth.

[Dustin Poirier]

The pieces tore live across North America.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

Get tickets [e-mail] coverage varies by plan. View contracts and [e-mail] if you're driving a car or truck with an expired warranty and suddenly lost your transmission or needed a full engine repair, would it leave you stranded? I'm Danica Patrick. Choose the company I trust, Endurance. If your vehicle is less than 20 years old, Endurance offers auto protection on the drivetrain, AC and more. Act now and get one full year of elite benefits. A $2,000 value free.

[Dustin Poirier]

For your free quote, go to endurancewarranty.com that's endurancewarranty.com we're just gonna go through

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

this next bucket pool, just me and you. Dustin, make some noise for him. It's Isaiah Washington, everybody.

[Sponsor Voice]

My dad was in and out of my life, but that was pretty normal in my neighborhood, y'. All. It was so bad at my elementary school that if you had a dad, we would make fun of you. Oh, your dad took you to Disneyland.

[Dustin Poirier]

Ha ha.

[Sponsor Voice]

You must be gay out there sucking on Disney dick. You know what was pretty gay? Being raised by a single mother. Every Saturday, I had to go shopping with her at Lane Bryant. If you don't know what that is, that's a Victoria's Secret for big bitches. I love my mom, though, but she raised me super religious, like, so religious, like, to the point. I used to feel shame about certain things when I was becoming a man. For example, the first time I seen titties, I cried. I was looking in the mirror like, yo, those not supposed to be there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like.

[Redmond]

Like, why, God, why?

[Sponsor Voice]

And I know I'm a bigger guy, but there are some women out there that like bigger men, y'.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

All.

[Sponsor Voice]

Austin. I was waiting for a standing ovation. God damn it.

[Redmond]

Thank you.

[Sponsor Voice]

I'm in Isaiah Washington for friends of California.

[Redmond]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfect. Amazing. Isaiah Washington. I love that set.

[Sponsor Voice]

Thank you, man.

[Dustin Poirier]

So good.

[Sponsor Voice]

Thank you. I appreciate it.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love that premise that if you had a dad, you got made fun of. Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

That was real.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's amazing.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

How long you been on doing standup?

[Sponsor Voice]

So I'm about to end my seventh year.

[Dustin Poirier]

Seventh year. That's right about what I would have guessed. You're fantastic. Moving up there. The premises are great. The enunciation, execution, everything. Absolutely amazing. Where you been doing it at?

[Sponsor Voice]

So I started in Fresno, California, and I just moved out here to Austin about three months ago.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, man, I'm a Fresno baby. Y' all don't know where that is. There's a little ghetto over there. But we. We cool, though. We cool.

[Dustin Poirier]

No, yeah, yeah. The great. The late, great Angelo Bowers was from there. You ever heard of him?

[Sponsor Voice]

Nah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Amazing.

[Sponsor Voice]

Oh, yeah. He from there?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, he died in a car accident.

[Sponsor Voice]

Damn, that sucked.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

15 years ago. Yeah, it does suck.

[Sponsor Voice]

That's crazy.

[Dustin Poirier]

He would. He would have been one of the biggest comedians in the world right now.

[Sponsor Voice]

Oh, yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Accidentally killed, but anyway, yeah. Isaiah, how. How's it been in Austin?

[Sponsor Voice]

It's been pretty good, man. Like, it's chill out here, but the first day I went out, my phone got robbed. That's the only thing on 6th street, man. It's crazy.

[Ari Matty]

Like.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, I know I'm a big dude, but they somehow snatched my phone out. My.

[Ari Matty]

Like, you didn't even know.

[Sponsor Voice]

No, I didn't.

[Ari Matty]

I've had that happen.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, it happened to you.

[Ari Matty]

With me was small Indonesian children.

[Sponsor Voice]

Oh, Bali.

[Ari Matty]

With my girlfriend. And then small Indonesian children go, mister, mister, mister. They're so cute. And then they took my phone. I noticed it back at the hotel, so then I was looking for children.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he found it too.

[Dustin Poirier]

Huh.

[Sponsor Voice]

They're missing no kids.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's why I keep my phone in my pants between my balls and my. And crazy enough, mine got stolen by a small Indonesian child. Isaiah, what. What do you do for work?

[Sponsor Voice]

So I work at the Vulcan Gas Company right now. Yeah. Just.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Doing security stuff.

[Benny Bruce]

Fuck, yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, it's pretty awesome, though.

[Dustin Poirier]

What did you do before that?

[Sponsor Voice]

I used to work with special needs adults back in Fresno, man.

[Dustin Poirier]

I also work with a special. That's amazing.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, I can tell the signs right there. Yeah, I can see it.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Like, special needs. Like what, the down syndrome and all that?

[Sponsor Voice]

We talking all spectrum high leveling to, like. Like, people in wheelchairs, like, you know.

[Ari Matty]

So let me ask you. This. I knew.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Dustin Poirier]

Well, I mean, come on. Fiona doesn't need another reason to want to kill herself. Not everybody in a wheelchair is special.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ari Matty]

That's true. I used to work with a guy, my good friend, who used to do the same thing. Do they a lot at your clinic?

[Sponsor Voice]

Oh, yeah, they do be doing that.

[Dustin Poirier]

They do be doing that.

[Sponsor Voice]

But they be having, like. It's kind of weird, though, sometimes, like, you. They'll have, like, a normal boyfriend pick them up, and you be like. Like, oh, bro, that ain't cool. Like, she got autism, dog.

[Dustin Poirier]

Like, bad her kids don't have autism.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, we. Guess we know who the boyfriend is here. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God.

[Ari Matty]

Red can make her. Make her suck your dick with a lollipop.

[Sponsor Voice]

With a lollipop.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, they love that.

[Sponsor Voice]

I never tried that.

[Dustin Poirier]

So this was like a. An actual clinic. So there's a lot of people.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, it was a day center. So they come from, like, in the daytime only. Then they go back to, like, a group home. Oh, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Dustin Poirier]

So what's the wildest thing you ever saw?

[Sponsor Voice]

These special people, man, I'm gonna be real. I know this too. Lovey dovey, but a lot of them were, like, really dope and really cool, but one of them did just shit in the hallway out of nowhere, and, you know, it's our job to pick it up and shit, and I made somebody else do it. I had to. Like, I didn't see it and just walk right past it. So I'm sorry about that, but I ain't doing that, bro. Like, that's. It was a big dude, too. Like, bigger than me. Like, oh, right on the ground. Just right there.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's unacceptable. Red band.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why did you do that?

[Sponsor Voice]

God damn it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I strapped you off at the daycare center. I do these nice things for you, and your ain't

[Sponsor Voice]

as funny as hell,

[Ari Matty]

amazing, but that's, like a good karma job.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah. That's why I got pulled tonight because of that job.

[Ari Matty]

Now if you do something bad, you can bring it up to God and be like, hey, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

[Sponsor Voice]

Remember. Remember the time I walked past the. Bro, like, come on, man, give me. Yeah, I'm getting into heaven for sure.

[Bryce Wright]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, absolutely. Isaiah, tell us more about your life. Do you have brothers and sisters?

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, I got. I got a lot of half siblings. I don't got any full ones. My dad's black. My mom's Mexican, if y' all didn't know. And. But my brothers and sisters like, in and out of my life, too. Just in and out. Living with my dad in Cleveland and then I was in Cali the whole time. And.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Seeing them every once in a while. You know what I mean? One of my sisters about to get married. My other brother's in jail.

[Dustin Poirier]

What is your brother in jail for?

[Sponsor Voice]

Let's just say. What's it called? Like a homies.

[Dustin Poirier]

A what?

[Sponsor Voice]

Something like Murder.

[Dustin Poirier]

Murder.

[Sponsor Voice]

Murder was a case that they wrote.

[Dustin Poirier]

Got it. Okay.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

I'm not going to talk too deeply on that because it's real. It's real.

[Ari Matty]

But that's, like, cool to have, like, a brother.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

With me. Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Don't with me.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

I'll call my brother and he gonna be like, how am I gonna.

[Ari Matty]

Doesn't pay you. You're like, yo.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah. Hell, yeah. I got. Got connections in the walls.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Amazing.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

And your mom's the Mexican in this.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, she's a Mexican.

[Dustin Poirier]

Did you ever get to meet your dad?

[Sponsor Voice]

Ah, yeah, I did. I did, I did. I got to meet him. He was in and out of my life. Like, I'll see him, like, in the summertime and stuff like that. He'll come by and say what's up?

[Dustin Poirier]

Even in the summertime.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah. He was like a rapper or trying to be a rapper.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow.

[Sponsor Voice]

So I'll be in the studio and stuff, getting hot box at like 8 years old.

[Ari Matty]

And does he have something on Spotify or something?

[Sponsor Voice]

He got something on YouTube. But what would.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then what's the rap?

[Sponsor Voice]

It's called Squadrick Click.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't even know how you would begin to spell that. I'm guessing an S and a Q.

[Sponsor Voice]

S Q is S, Q, U, A,

[Dustin Poirier]

D, R, I, C, K. I mean, Squadrick Click. Squadrick Click.

[Sponsor Voice]

Not.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

First things first.

[Mark Neuer]

This.

[Flash Goran]

The.

[Sponsor Voice]

I grew up on, like, it's only

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

got 12 views from 13 years ago.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It turns out a lot of people don't go to visit your dad either. It's amazing. Only visit my son in the summertime. Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

I'm like nine years old. There's guns in the studio. Like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of.

[Sponsor Voice]

Another Will.

[Ari Matty]

That's your brother.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hold on a second. I noticed something. I noticed something pretty amazing here.

[Dustin Poirier]

The. The song debuted on YouTube 13 years ago. It has 1,002 views. And 11 years ago, two years after it came out, there's only one comment.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

On this.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, on this video. And it is from. Named Isaiah the comic.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, that's me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And it. And It's. And the comment on the YouTube profile

[Dustin Poirier]

says, Whoa, where you find this at?

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, I was shocked.

[Ari Matty]

What would you like to know?

[Sponsor Voice]

I don't know who uploaded that. And all I did was have a CD of him on my CD player. I didn't even know it was out there like that.

[Dustin Poirier]

And what were you doing just randomly Googling your dad 11 years ago?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah, man, stop with your o. These white lady. Oz. Shut up.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, I just wanted. I wanted to see if he made any money or anything like that. Yeah, man. And I found out somebody. Somebody stole his. And I'm gonna find them, man.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, you think someone's profiting off of the 1000 views?

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, they got like a 5 cent for 5 cent or something like that, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But yeah, that's the closest your dad's

[Dustin Poirier]

ever been to having a 50 cent like, career.

[Sponsor Voice]

Ah, true, true, true. Man. My dad tried though, man. My dad did pass away though. That's why I probably left that come. Oh time ago. I was like, oh, yeah, let me listen to him reminisce to that one time he seen me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Now that.

[Dustin Poirier]

That is sad. How did your father pass away?

[Sponsor Voice]

He passed away from being like, overweight. It's crazy though, because he like got shot multiple times and like when he was younger and. But he survived it and then like, like heart disease, dog.

[Ari Matty]

Sugar is the hardest gangster ever.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

Sugar.

[Dustin Poirier]

Go hard, Sugar.

[Ari Matty]

Guns like this.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, let's go.

[Sponsor Voice]

Sugar. Took my daddy out and I've been trying to. And I

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

glucose janking.

[Sponsor Voice]

That's why I eat so much sugar. Cause I'm trying to kill all the sugar, dog.

[Dustin Poirier]

Like that's right, right?

[Sponsor Voice]

Hell yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Do you walk into Dunkin Donuts like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Isaiah? I find you to be unbelievably hilarious. Keep signing up. Come back again. We want to see more of you. All right, there you go. Isaiah Washington. Funny guy.

[Dustin Poirier]

All right, back to the bucket.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We go make some noise for Mark Neuer, everybody. Mark Neuer.

[Mark Neuer]

I'm a huge fan of Alex Jones.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I like him a lot.

[Mark Neuer]

I'm a big fan of Alex Jones. The thing about him is he says some things that are true, right? Because he's like a real controversial guy. He says some things that are true, though. For example, he said they're going to fly planes into the Twin Towers. That's not funny. It's just true. He said that of June of 2001. He did, right.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right.

[Mark Neuer]

Now, I'm not a college educated individual, right? But I do know that June comes before September every fucking year. Like I Said I'm not a. I didn't go to college. I dropped out of high school. So I don't know if they're putting chemicals in the water that are turning the frickin frogs gay. I don't know. I don't know. But I do know that the frogs probably didn't want to be outed. Thank you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, Mark Neuer, welcome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Welcome.

[Dustin Poirier]

This is your first time on the show?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long you been on Stand Up?

[Mark Neuer]

Coming up on nine years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where at?

[Mark Neuer]

San Francisco the whole time. I started Manteca, California.

[Dustin Poirier]

But you still live in San Fran?

[Mark Neuer]

Nope.

[Dustin Poirier]

You live here now? Moved here 10 minutes ago.

[Mark Neuer]

10 months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay, perfect. It's happened before where people literally have

[Dustin Poirier]

gotten here 10 minutes ago. Okay, Mark, what do you do for work right now?

[Mark Neuer]

I'm a daytime bartender on 6th.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, how's that going for you? It's good money, fun, right?

[Ari Matty]

Time bartender. Yeah, interesting choice. The nighttime is when you make the big bucks.

[Mark Neuer]

You'd be surprised, huh?

[Ari Matty]

I think you'd be surprised. It's an inside podcast.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anyway, that is a good. It's a great reference.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love it. Mark, is bartending what you were doing when you were in San Francisco?

[Mark Neuer]

Yeah, yeah, I was working. Comedy venue. So as a bar, do you steal

[Ari Matty]

money as a bartender too? I used to be a bartender.

[Mark Neuer]

Not anymore.

[Ari Matty]

Not anymore, huh?

[Mark Neuer]

On 6th street in San Francisco. I did though.

[Flash Goran]

Exactly.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, I used to do that too.

[Mark Neuer]

You have to.

[Ari Matty]

How? How? What's, what's the scam?

[Mark Neuer]

What are you doing to me?

[Ari Matty]

Like, what's that?

[Sponsor Voice]

What are you gonna do to me here?

[Ari Matty]

Okay, I open up first and then you open.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. All right, tell us your scam.

[Dustin Poirier]

Tell us the Estonian credit card.

[Ari Matty]

If you're like a bartender, it's pretty easy. From one big bottle of booze, you can get about 16 double cocktails. The revenue price that the bar has is of course, so much higher than the market price. So you bring your own bottles and you have a side register. One for you, one for me. I was like Robin Hood, but for myself.

[Mark Neuer]

Wow, that's a pretty good one.

[Ari Matty]

And then sometimes. Do Americans. Do you. You guys all free pour, right?

[Mark Neuer]

I do, yeah.

[Ari Matty]

You can steal it a little bit. You know, like if it's 4 centiliters of alcohol, every fourth cocktail is for free because you dry them up short.

[Mark Neuer]

You're very serious about this.

[Ari Matty]

Very serious. And then from one draft, you know, like a big jug. The draft beer from the one big. The keg.

[Eddie Adams]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

You get 66 beers, but with foam. It's actually 58 beers, so you can steal the six.

[Mark Neuer]

I gotta tell you, I'm from Stockton, California. You're losing me with all these numbers.

[Ari Matty]

So what was your scam?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Void the drinks after void a few drinks, not ring them in.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right.

[Dustin Poirier]

When the people paid cash, you would

[Mark Neuer]

just take the cash in San Francisco.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Neuer]

Not at my current job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right, exactly. Very well put. Amazing, amazing note. Amazing footnote. You would never do that now, but you totally did it then.

[Mark Neuer]

Yes.

[Dustin Poirier]

Nice. Mark, tell us more about your life. What exactly are you into? You have any hobbies or anything like that?

[Mark Neuer]

I play a lot of League of Legends on my phone. Specifically on my Surprise.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Mark Neuer]

Fat dude likes League of Legends.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, I did notice. You can rest your microphone.

[Sponsor Voice]

I can.

[Mark Neuer]

I do.

[Ari Matty]

It's a crazy move.

[Anastasia Nadraga]

Move.

[Mark Neuer]

I'm a big boy, baby.

[Ari Matty]

Big boy.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, you are a big sugar.

[Mark Neuer]

Yeah, I play League of Legends.

[Dustin Poirier]

League of Legends. Anything else other than League of Legends? You do anything?

[Mark Neuer]

You seem like a. I've been doing a little bit of putt putt golf.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, all right.

[Mark Neuer]

I'm athletic.

[Dustin Poirier]

How many times? How many times do you think you've putt putted recently?

[Ari Matty]

Show me your putt stands. I don't think you can see the ball. Okay.

[Chase Standing]

Whoa.

[Dustin Poirier]

It's actually very good.

[Ari Matty]

That's pretty good.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow, look at that.

[Mark Neuer]

We just went to Peter. The Peter Pan one, the local one. They have the racist statues.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, I didn't know about this. Now I want to go. Yes, it's great. Wow.

[Mark Neuer]

They have a dude doing a full blown Sig Heil.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, that's changed it.

[Mark Neuer]

Now it's. Hey, dude, what are you trying to do to me up here, man? They changed him from like, I don't know, essentially a Nazi to he's a pirate now. So his Sig Howl hand has a little hook.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Look.

[Dustin Poirier]

Are you serious?

[Mark Neuer]

The Sig Heil handoff?

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where is this at?

[Mark Neuer]

It's off of south first in Barton Springs, I think.

[Redban]

Yeah, they're about to tear it down and it.

[Redmond]

They just.

[Mark Neuer]

Yeah, they saved it.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wait, what's it called?

[Mark Neuer]

Peter Pan's Putt Putt Extravaganza Place or something.

[Dustin Poirier]

Damn. Oh, you've been there. No, I know about it though. We all know about it. Very interesting. Very interesting. Mark, you have a. You have a girlfriend or anything like.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where'd you meet her at?

[Mark Neuer]

In San Francisco.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay.

[Mark Neuer]

Comedian too.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, nice. Amazing. How long have you two been together?

[Mark Neuer]

So we just hit our one year anniversary a couple months ago.

[Ari Matty]

Who's Better.

[Mark Neuer]

She's way funnier than I am.

[Dustin Poirier]

Really nice.

[Ari Matty]

Good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She didn't sign up.

[Mark Neuer]

Not tonight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Mark Neuer]

Another show which is, you know, what are you gonna do?

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, another show.

[Mark Neuer]

Yeah, she gets booked.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, wow.

[Mark Neuer]

It's a luxury at nine years in comedy I don't have in Austin right now.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, well, anything can happen. Anything can change. Here's a big joke book. Mark, I like your style.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sign up again sometime.

[Mark Neuer]

Thank you very much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're gonna keep it moving along here. You guys still hanging in there? We're coming around the corner. Everybody good? All right, this looks like a brand new name, so this should be fun. Make some noise for Flash Goron now, Flash Goron.

[Redmond]

Here comes Flash.

[Flash Goran]

How's it going, everybody? My name is Flash Goren. I'm Bosnian and I don't know what that means either. Yeah, I don't even know my own stereotypes, which is kind of weird. All I know is that other Europeans get very nervous when I'm around them.

[Redmond]

And.

[Flash Goran]

You're welcome. That's all I have to say about that. If somebody came up to me and said, you know, all Bosnians are bad drivers, my response would be, you know what else I want to know? I'm going to get my Glock out and take some notes. Glock also means makes pens. Not everyone knows that I'm not the best representative from Bosnians. I know that I forgot most of the language and I'm a good driver. And also. I think I just forgot the rest. Thanks, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Flash, Garam, welcome to the show, Flash.

[Flash Goran]

Thank you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Hi, Ari, what's up?

[Flash Goran]

Not much, buddy.

[Dustin Poirier]

How are you?

[Ari Matty]

Stereotype by Bosnians. A stereotype is you steal, you lie.

[Flash Goran]

I know, but hey, come on.

[Ari Matty]

I used to know a truck driver that told me if you ever drive through Bosnia, you don't stop.

[Flash Goran]

That's good to know. I haven't been there in a while.

[Dustin Poirier]

Flash, I'm gonna tell you right from the top here, I gotta tell you, you seem like one of the nicest, most chill people ever.

[Flash Goran]

I appreciate that, Tony.

[Redmond]

Thank you.

[Dustin Poirier]

Look at every response. He's like, wow, I didn't know that. Thanks a lot. You're adorable. How old are you?

[Flash Goran]

37? 38 on Friday.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, well, happy upcoming birthday, my friend. You're a very likable guy. How long have you been attempting stand up comedy?

[Flash Goran]

First time ever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

First time ever. The sound of a goat.

[Dustin Poirier]

What made you want to start here tonight?

[Flash Goran]

Just wanted to go out of town for a while and stop by and I thought this would. This would be A fun time.

[Dustin Poirier]

Where do you live now?

[Flash Goran]

Amarillo.

[Dustin Poirier]

Amarillo.

[Flash Goran]

Originally from Bosnia, but I lived in Amarillo most of my life.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, from one war torn area to the next, exactly what made you pick Amarillo?

[Flash Goran]

I didn't. I was 8, so I was the youngest in my family.

[Dustin Poirier]

I don't know if you know this. One of the. One of the most interesting fun facts you'll ever hear. Matt Muling is from Amarillo, Texas, the original guitarist here. Look at him.

[Redban]

Are you liberal?

[Dustin Poirier]

That's a wild question.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Red band. You don't.

[Flash Goran]

I dislike both sides equally.

[Dustin Poirier]

There you go. Very good answer. Amazing answer.

[Ari Matty]

You're like a very sweet guy.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, I appreciate that.

[Dustin Poirier]

You like, you like, watch the show and stuff?

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, I do.

[Dustin Poirier]

You might be one of the most nice people that I've ever pulled out of the bucket before. Can you tell us like the worst, the meanest thing you've ever done in your life, Dustin, what do you think it is?

[Panel Member]

I think he grew up the door to door salesman.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfect boy. When he lands, they land.

[Dustin Poirier]

Holy.

[Flash Goran]

Actually. Actually was a door to do door salesman for a while. So you're not wrong.

[Dustin Poirier]

Amazing.

[Panel Member]

Somebody groped you. Would you close the deal?

[Flash Goran]

Oh, absolutely.

[B. Lee]

Right, right.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Thank you for that. That was very nice of you. I really appreciate. What did you sell? You seem like a crazy guy to show up as a door to door kid. I would just invite you in, put a blanket over you, make you some tea.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, I sold vacuums a long time ago. That's all I've done door to door.

[Ari Matty]

Hey, this rug is pretty dirty.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, everybody.

[Flash Goran]

It's like a $2,000 vacuum cleaner.

[Dustin Poirier]

Were you good at selling them?

[Flash Goran]

Not really, no.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. What do you do for work now?

[Flash Goran]

Currently unemployed. I was an analyst for 14 years and then I got let go and then I worked at a slaughterhouse for about a year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My God.

[Dustin Poirier]

Well, hello there, little cow. I got bad news for you today. I don't know exactly how to break this to you, but you know you're gonna be used for better things than just standing out in a field now. People are gonna be. You're gonna be able to give people life. Wow.

[Ari Matty]

When you killed them, what did you feel?

[Flash Goran]

I didn't actually do the killing. I did a lot of the cleaning up after.

[Luke Aaron]

Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow. $2,000 vacuum cleaner, huh?

[Dustin Poirier]

Damn. Now that's a pretty frightening job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right up.

[Dustin Poirier]

We cannot picture you one of the sweetest people ever pulled out of the bucket. Mopping up cow blood. Is the cows mostly Cows.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, cow blood and. Yeah, it's pretty gross.

[Ari Matty]

Organs and shit.

[Flash Goran]

All on the floor.

[Redmond]

Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

All on the floor. Someone's got to do it. And I'm the guy for the job. Gosh darn it. If not me, then who? If not now, then when? Amazing. I really like you. What's the. What's the. What's the craziest thing that ever. That you ever saw at the slaughterhouse where you're like, God, this is.

[Flash Goran]

This is kind of crazy when the. When the vents get clogged up and the blood just kind of rises up

[Dustin Poirier]

and then what, you have to, like, plunge it or something like that?

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, I have to take it apart and then make sure that all of it drains out. Make sure that all of it drains out. I'm sorry.

[Dustin Poirier]

Some people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What I love about this audience, some

[Dustin Poirier]

people are covering their faces in fright

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

and some dudes in the corner are cracking up right now just hysterically laughing at the fact that you'd have to remove a vent and chop up what's already been chopped up.

[Dustin Poirier]

Amazing. Flash, what's your love life like? What do you have chained up to a radiator right now?

[Flash Goran]

Nothing. Nothing currently, but I do have a girlfriend.

[Dustin Poirier]

You do? Oh, my goodness. You.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's that? You met.

[Flash Goran]

I'm surprised, too.

[Dustin Poirier]

Ari, you're adorable. Where'd you meet her at?

[Flash Goran]

On bubble.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey.

[Bryce Wright]

Hey.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, I don't like starting conversations. And you have to. The girl has to talk first when you match, so that was perfect for me.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, my goodness gracious. So she started the conversation and then what? You. You. Where'd you. Where did you take this girl on your first date?

[Flash Goran]

We went to a restaurant the first time, and then we went to Palo d' Or Canyon the second time.

[Dustin Poirier]

What was that?

[Flash Goran]

We went to Palo Duro Canyon the second time to go hiking.

[Dustin Poirier]

What is that exactly?

[Flash Goran]

Palo Duro Canyon is the second biggest canyon in the world, I think.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

Oh, wow.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

In the United States, it's an Amarillo. Wow. Okay. And then where did you plant that first kiss at? Was that in the canyon? Is she still in the canyon?

[Ari Matty]

Did she go for the kiss first?

[Flash Goran]

No, that was me.

[Sponsor Voice]

Damn.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, my goodness.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what was your move?

[Dustin Poirier]

Were you guys having a conversation at the time or was it. Was the. Were you looking up at the stars? How did that tell us about that first kiss?

[Flash Goran]

We were at the park and she talked about how she wanted to have a boyfriend and she didn't want to be friends anymore, and I just kind of went for it right away.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow. So you, like, closed your eyes and leaned in like that?

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, I think so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Perfect.

[Ari Matty]

Hey, would you like to kiss? Would you like to sit on my. Later.

[Dustin Poirier]

And now you guys have you there. And now you guys have sex on a regular basis?

[Flash Goran]

A couple of times a week.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love it.

[Redmond]

Do you have any.

[Dustin Poirier]

Do you have any special moves in the bedroom that you like to do? What? Because you have such a cool name. Flash Garan. I want. It seems like the almost a porn star name. Are you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Would.

[Dustin Poirier]

Would we be shocked to see your. Your violent behavior in the. What's your big move in the bedroom? What's your favorite thing to do during sex?

[Flash Goran]

It's pretty basic.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, you throw a thumb in her ass and make her gag with your other hand.

[Flash Goran]

That sounds about right.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, perfect.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sometimes I'm just on the money. You know what I mean?

[Dustin Poirier]

Sometimes you just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sweet Sarah Sloan's like.

[Dustin Poirier]

Is that really what happens?

[Ari Matty]

Some.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, I'm. I'm kidding. Sarah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Amazing. Flash. Wow.

[Ari Matty]

Does she, like, boss you around in the bed?

[Flash Goran]

Not all the time.

[Dustin Poirier]

Flash, I find you to be such a sweet guy. What do you want to. What do you want to. What are your goals? Like, what do you want to do with the rest of your life? You're 37. You're currently unemployed. Is that correct?

[Flash Goran]

That's correct.

[Dustin Poirier]

What. Where do you see the rest of your life going? You are comically adorable.

[Flash Goran]

I appreciate that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He has to say he appreciates it.

[Dustin Poirier]

He can't just let it go. He's so sweet that he has to let us know that he appreciates it.

[Flash Goran]

I just want to find a job and hopefully something with a lot of vacation time so I can go travel as much as I can.

[Ari Matty]

Where do you want to travel? Thailand?

[Flash Goran]

No, I like, like the state of Washington better.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, I can explain. Yeah, go ahead, explain. Why do you love the state of Washington?

[Flash Goran]

So my favorite thing to do is called wing walking. It's where you get on top of an airplane while it's flying, and then you just ride around on the plane. They used to have that in Washington.

[B. Lee]

Yo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wait a second.

[Ari Matty]

On top of the plane. Like, you're.

[Dustin Poirier]

If I.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

If I told.

[Flash Goran]

On top of the plane.

[Ari Matty]

I really hope we won't crash airplane. Can you please take care of me?

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow, it was a really good time up there. Quite the.

[Ari Matty]

Such a funny guy to tell your girlfriend, like, hey, you want to go wind walking?

[Flash Goran]

Actually did tell her that.

[Dustin Poirier]

Are you gonna take her sometime?

[Flash Goran]

I took her once. She didn't pass the training.

[Dustin Poirier]

Ah. What is the training for wind walking. Exactly.

[Flash Goran]

Basically you're just. The plane's on the ground and you climb up and down the plane.

[Ari Matty]

What did she have trouble with climbing up? The climbing up. So is she.

[Flash Goran]

No, I'm doing.

[Ari Matty]

Was this a climb? Like she needed some carabiners and a guy at the bottom holding the rope and she. Big girl.

[Flash Goran]

No, it's just hard to do. You have to have a background in climbing and Freddie athletics.

[Dustin Poirier]

So how many times have you wind walked?

[Flash Goran]

Three times.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow. My goodness. That is incredible. And you love it.

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, it's my favorite thing.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

What's your second favorite thing? That is an answer we've never had on this show in its history, by the way. We've never had someone that works at a slaughterhouse and we've never had a wind walker before. And God damn it, this is the

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

last guy that I would ever think

[Dustin Poirier]

would do either one of those things.

[Flash Goran]

Second favorite thing. Jumping off the stratosphere. Stratosphere building in Vegas.

[Dustin Poirier]

You jumped off of it? Yeah.

[Flash Goran]

You can bungee jump off of it.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, okay. You're a real adrenaline junkie.

[Flash Goran]

Surprisingly, yeah.

[Ari Matty]

Very surprisingly.

[Dustin Poirier]

It is very surprising. This is incredible. Wow.

[Redban]

Are you ticklish?

[Flash Goran]

Very.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I. I would have guessed that. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of pent up energy in there.

[Dustin Poirier]

When you, when you want to burn off some steam. Flash, what do you do locally, like when you're in Amarillo or here or whatever? Like what. When you, when you're, when you want to get loose, when you feel a little antsy, what do you do?

[Flash Goran]

Hiking, weightlifting, video games. Just pretty basic stuff.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love it.

[Ari Matty]

What makes you, like, really, like, angry?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, that's a great question. Because I can't picture you getting angry now that I've met you.

[Ari Matty]

What was the last thing where you were like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dustin Poirier]

Great question.

[Flash Goran]

Probably from losing my job.

[Ari Matty]

How did you react? I. I tell you, I tell you, listen, you're a nice guy, but we gotta let you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, look at that. Well, Flash, what's your social media in case someone that wants to hire you

[Dustin Poirier]

can reach out to you for something? Because you seem like a. You seem like a. Just a decent, very decent human being.

[Flash Goran]

Thank you, Tony. Had to say it. Had to say it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's unbelievable. I love it.

[Flash Goran]

I'm scoring.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Flash Grant.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's your real name? That's your real name?

[Flash Goran]

No, my name is. My name is Goran. I just have a nickname. Flash Goran.

[Ari Matty]

I love it because you're so fast

[Dustin Poirier]

at work and you're still living Amarillo, right?

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, I still live there.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. And that's where your girl lives too?

[Flash Goran]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

She live with you?

[Flash Goran]

Yeah, she does.

[Dustin Poirier]

She's from Amarillo as well, though.

[Flash Goran]

She's originally from la. I'm originally from Bosnia. But we've been in Amarillo for a long time.

[Dustin Poirier]

So if someone wanted to hire you somewhere else in Texas or somewhere else you'd be willing to. Willing to do that?

[Flash Goran]

I'm in no way against that.

[Dustin Poirier]

Perhaps someone even in the wind walking industry could hire you.

[Flash Goran]

That would be awesome.

[Dustin Poirier]

Conceivably. Wow. Well, put it out there. Someone in the wind walking industry or

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

really anywhere, wants to hire Truly, who might be one of the sweetest men we've ever met. Hire Flash.

[Karen Feehan]

You guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Duran. We have a big joke book for this guy, even though it was his first time. And this. That was just.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, they're gonna give you one on your way out.

[Karen Feehan]

Out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I've run out of them up here tonight.

[Ari Matty]

Great job.

[Flash Goran]

I appreciate you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How about one more time for Flash? You know what? Sometimes being hilarious doesn't necessarily matter. And it can come from the least expecting places like being adorably sweet. And it might sound crazy if you're, like listening to this and not watching it, but like, he's. He's oddly genuine.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah, See, it really shows about the show. If you just are who you are, you can always resonate.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Ari Matty]

First time.

[Dustin Poirier]

It's a great point. He is just genuine. Like, it feels like that's that guy.

[Ari Matty]

Lovely guy.

[Dustin Poirier]

Then again, he could be stabbing everyone

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

behind us right now.

[Ari Matty]

100%.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, let's get one last bucket pull up here tonight. You guys with it. All right, let's see what happens here. Make some noise for B. Lee, everybody. B. Lee,

[B. Lee]

My size microphone. It's a big deal for me. I get haircuts for this. Get a lot of different reactions on the haircut, though. Younger comic told me, Be Lee, you look like you're in your 20s and 40s at the same time. Had a little girl run up to me, said, you look like Jason Momoa. The wish.com version Heckler told me I look like Jason Momoa if he was Aquaman who only lived in a puddle. Your laughter indicates you think these are insults, but I took him as a compliment. Cause prior to the Momoa, I was getting Walmart Mark Wahlberg, which I'm fairly certain is just Donnie Wahlberg. But I can never beat Donnie. Not because of the singing, dancing, acting. He can barely do that. It's because he married Jenny McCarthy. And yes, Jenny was a Masturbatory fantasy in my teens and twenties. But forty year old me knows that would be a sexless marriage because she's trying to end autism. And you can't do that by fucking a retard. Thank you, folks.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, we got there in the end.

[Dustin Poirier]

B. Lee, welcome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Welcome.

[Dustin Poirier]

Billy.

[B. Lee]

I was terrified I was gonna get that bear.

[Dustin Poirier]

That you were gonna what?

[B. Lee]

Get the bear? It comes if you go too late. I don't know if you've seen this.

[Dustin Poirier]

You kind of look like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you. Thank you, Billy. Amazing. I didn't hear you when you said bears. When I said what I should have because of an audio issue.

[Dustin Poirier]

It's all good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you, though. I liked you up until that part. So now you're.

[Dustin Poirier]

That's what's crazy.

[B. Lee]

I was doing it more for them. Tony, I apologize. Please.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I wish you would have done the set for them too.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you're adorable. It's good to see that the Geico caveman's doing good out here. New sweater. Of all the things that people have told you that you look like Neanderthal,

[B. Lee]

I like to be the poster child of giving up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like something that Flash should be sweeping up in a slaughterhouse.

[B. Lee]

I. I saw the guy coming out. I feel like. Like he's. He's only qualified for jobs where you can't look at him.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. B. Lee, how long have you been attempting stand up be.

[Dustin Poirier]

Lee?

[Redmond]

Oh, yeah.

[B. Lee]

It's been an attempt of about a little over three years. November was my.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay.

[B. Lee]

My anniversary.

[Dustin Poirier]

And you mostly talked about, like, about 70, 80% of your set were things that other people have called you, if they really called you that, or were you using that as a device?

[Karen Feehan]

Nice.

[B. Lee]

Most of that was. Most of that was true. And, you know, I punched it up. Yeah, most of that happened right there

[Dustin Poirier]

was the good Donnie Wahlberg thing at the end, the little remix there. That made sense. Billy, let's talk about your life. You ever wind walk before?

[Redmond]

No. No.

[Dustin Poirier]

What do you like to do for fun?

[B. Lee]

Wind walking for fun. I just took rollerblading back up.

[Luke Aaron]

Whoa.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy.

[B. Lee]

Okay.

[Dustin Poirier]

I cannot picture that. I cannot picture you out there on rollerblade.

[B. Lee]

I got a really active dog. I grew up playing hockey and coaching hockey, so you can get a lot more energy out if I roll.

[Dustin Poirier]

And you live in Austin.

[B. Lee]

I do now. Well, I live in Kyle, so.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. And you're the only human rollerblading in Kyle, Texas?

[B. Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

How many times do pickup trucks fly by you screaming homophobic slur My neighborhood?

[B. Lee]

I feel Is like very much people that lived somewhere else. I don't think there are many Texas people in my neighborhood.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. I would bet that the city of Kyle would disagree with that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tremendous.

[B. Lee]

The city, as a generalization, yes, the city of Kyle. But my particular.

[Dustin Poirier]

What do you do for work, Billy?

[B. Lee]

Currently unemployed.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dustin Poirier]

Very unemployed crew we have here tonight.

[B. Lee]

Yeah, I was doing construction for a little while, but I think either he got arrested or is just ghosting me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like your boss?

[B. Lee]

Yeah, well, he's not my boss anymore, but yeah, he was.

[Ari Matty]

What did you do on the construction site?

[Bryce Wright]

They.

[B. Lee]

They had me like building fences and decks and stuff.

[Dustin Poirier]

Huh.

[Ari Matty]

Yeah.

[B. Lee]

Power tools.

[Dustin Poirier]

What a. What a life we're living.

[B. Lee]

I gotta face for power tools.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. B. Lee, how long have you been unemployed?

[B. Lee]

It's about a year now.

[Dustin Poirier]

It's been about a year that you've been unemployed.

[Ari Matty]

How'd you make the cushion of money last so long?

[B. Lee]

I was working for, you know, up until we moved out here and I had saved up a lot of money.

[Dustin Poirier]

Who's we?

[B. Lee]

I have a female at home.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay. Do you have kids? The way you said it, we don't.

[Ari Matty]

By the way, the way you said it, very scary. Yeah, I got a female at home.

[Redmond]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Well, what is she?

[B. Lee]

I like to.

[Dustin Poirier]

What does she do for a living? She's the main provider.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Correct.

[B. Lee]

She's a hero, Tony. She's a nurse.

[Dustin Poirier]

Huh?

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Wow.

[B. Lee]

Have you ever say that they'll tell you within seconds. Nurses.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. How do you contribute to this household?

[B. Lee]

I clean. I do all the manly stuff, like, you know, the, like breaking bricks with my head and, you know, mow the lawn. And we got a really bad ant infestation that's a problem here in Texas, so I had to re. Caulk the whole house. That was fun, you know, but a lot of vacuuming, folding of laundry, you know, letting her vent about her day, which I would otherwise, you know, interject if I had a job.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah. Why haven't you gotten a job in a year?

[B. Lee]

Well, I, I, you know, I was doing the construction and then.

[Dustin Poirier]

A year ago.

[B. Lee]

No, no, no, not. Well, it was less than a year ago. I haven't had. I didn't get started at a real job.

[Dustin Poirier]

When's the last time you worked?

[B. Lee]

Before I moved out here, I was selling car parts.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

And how long have you lived out here?

[B. Lee]

It's. It's been a little over a year

[Redban]

is going on here.

[Sponsor Voice]

So.

[B. Lee]

So the construction job didn't last that long.

[Eddie Adams]

It was.

[Ari Matty]

It.

[B. Lee]

It was kind of does your under.

[Dustin Poirier]

The girlfriend ever ask you, when are you gonna get a job?

[Bryce Wright]

It's.

[B. Lee]

It's been a conversation more than once. Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[B. Lee]

Yeah, for sure.

[Ari Matty]

And what do you say?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah, what do you say when she asks you?

[B. Lee]

I say, hey, look at this application that I'm putting in.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[B. Lee]

You got to make it very evident, you know, that leave that laptop.

[Ari Matty]

Has it, like, caused strain on the relationship?

[B. Lee]

Not yet, but I could get there.

[Ari Matty]

It's coming.

[B. Lee]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[B. Lee]

If this set went better, I was gonna beg Tony for a job, but I don't think it's gonna work. Ari.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's definitely not. If I didn't hire Flash, I'm definitely not hiring your ass. Flash is a machine.

[B. Lee]

He looks like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's looks like. I appreciate that, Tony. I hear him in my head saying thank you. Even though I'm gone.

[Dustin Poirier]

I really.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The respect is.

[Dustin Poirier]

I mean, it's just overwhelming, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Meanwhile, I have your unappreciative ask on. I don't know if you've seen the show, but I haven't worked in a year. But like a lot of heroes.

[B. Lee]

Again, Tony, that was just for them. I do apologize.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, stop.

[B. Lee]

All right, Guys shouldn't have laughed.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Somehow you made it weird.

[B. Lee]

Feelings.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you're making it weirder.

[Ari Matty]

Have you noticed that the sex life has also taken a negative. No, that's what you stopped.

[B. Lee]

That's on the chore list. It's on the chore list, Ari.

[Dustin Poirier]

Okay, yeah. What?

[B. Lee]

Oh, you were asking about things I had to do. If I'm. If I didn't do the sex, I'm pretty sure it would be a lot worse.

[Dustin Poirier]

Let me tell you something. What's. Give us a redeeming quality about you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Give us, like a good deed that you've done or something.

[Dustin Poirier]

Like people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like people tonight have worked.

[B. Lee]

Saved a guy from drowning once.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, really? Wow, look at that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where was that at?

[B. Lee]

It was when I was living in Vegas. We were hiking the Arizona.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, where is their water in Vegas? Tony? He was in the Bellagio fountain. And I mean, like. Like, it was like the water was up to his waist. But I'm like, dude, get over here. And I, like, saved his ass, dude.

[B. Lee]

As I was saying, we were hiking the Arizona hot springs. And about halfway up to the hot springs, there's like a. A big, like, ledge that you can jump from into the water. And I was with a guy from Texas and like a. Some pharmacy kids. I was working in pharmacy at the time.

[Dustin Poirier]

What were you doing in a pharmacy?

[B. Lee]

I was a. I was a Pharmacy technician. I was a pharmacy technician for a dozen years. Yeah. So I did it for 10 out in Vegas.

[Ari Matty]

So how did you spot that he was drowning?

[B. Lee]

Was he like, oh, his girlfriend was like, I don't think he's kidding. And I looked over and he was breathing water instead of swimming.

[Dustin Poirier]

And did you jump in and say,

[B. Lee]

I was already in the water. I jumped off the cliff already? So I came up to him.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you were already next to a

[Dustin Poirier]

guy that was drowning, and you're like, there you go.

[B. Lee]

Another guy swam to shore. So I did better than. And that was his actual friend.

[Dustin Poirier]

Friend.

[B. Lee]

So I saved him. And he was a pharmacist, so he maybe didn't kill somebody later.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, you know, I don't know what any of this means, Billy, but I'm

[Dustin Poirier]

guessing that was for them, for the crowd or something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Billy, everybody.

[Dustin Poirier]

There he goes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

B. Lee, everyone. It's hard to come across as likable after Flash Garant. So, I mean, just like some people were bad at comedy tonight, and then the next guy was great.

[Dustin Poirier]

I think it. I think anyone after Flash seems completely unlikable, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Except for our last comedian of the night, ladies and gentlemen, who's one of the most elite regulars in the history of the show. Everybody. Every single week, not only does he write a new minute, he writes about two minutes, doing double the work that he has to do. He's a freak of nature here to bring it home, show you how it's done, make some noise. For what was once the dark, dark storm of Atlanta and now is the dark storm of Austin. This is Dedrick Flynn, everybody. Yeah,

[Redmond]

when I first moved to Austin, I was working at this car wash called Surf Through Car Wash. And they hired me as a manager. And then afterwards told me that tattoos are not like, they can't be seen at the car wash. And that let me know. These niggas aren't good with money. Because the more tattoos you have, the more people trust you with their car. You don't want a blank nigga telling you your rims are dirty. You don't want a blank nigga looking at your transmission. You want a felon with a throat tattoo being like, your filter's dirty. You like, whatever you need, sir. Just don't go back to jail. Tattoos let you know a motherfucker went through something to work here. Like, doctors don't have tattoos. Surgeons don't have tattoos. You know who do? Nurses. Nurses are sexy as fuck. If the hospitals just only had nurses, everybody would be cured. Cause them niggas can't wait to shove a needle in your neck and get you the fuck out of there. All I'm saying is if you can't punch the drywall, you shouldn't be hanging my drywall tattoos. Let me know that you're a blue collar worker. Like you, you don't do anything. You don't sweat for work. Not at all. But look at this motherfucker. He's got his tattoos hitting. He be drumming his fucking ass off. You sitting over here laid back like a bitch eyes. That's my time. I'm sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Dedrick Flynn, for those of you watching or listening to the show, the guy that he pointed at and said, you

[Dustin Poirier]

don't do anything for work is without a doubt a guy that doesn't do anything for work, completely shaking his head no and looks like he's done nothing before.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Dustin Poirier]

You nailed it, Dedrick. How's life going?

[B. Lee]

Good.

[Redmond]

Hey, yo, Dustin Poirier. I was gonna say, the only reason you lost that first Connor fight is because that had a throat tattoo, but figured it out, and then you whooped that nigga's ass and broke his leg. Right?

[Dustin Poirier]

Two times.

[Redmond]

You know what I'm saying? That's what it is. But you got more tattoos after that, cuz. Tattoos on a white boy raised a battle power.

[Dustin Poirier]

There is something to that tattoo thing. Great premise.

[Bryce Wright]

Yes.

[Dustin Poirier]

And that is true. You did beat Conor McGregor's ass twice. Nice.

[Redmond]

Twice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's incredible.

[Panel Member]

And I did get more tattoos.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah.

[Redmond]

And I won $1,200.

[Dustin Poirier]

Absolutely.

[Panel Member]

Maybe you can pay that chick who.

[Redmond]

That chick is Fiona.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Give it a Will. He's got. He's got a. You give Fiona 300?

[Redmond]

Yeah, I can.

[Bryce Wright]

I can.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's. No.

[Dustin Poirier]

I love it, Dedrick. What else is going on in life?

[Redmond]

Oh, man, I've been touring. Them sent me up to Salt Lake City last week. Salt Lake. I'm just playing. They bought a lot of tickets, but I didn't. I thought the city was nice until they started delaying my flight, and then I was like, okay, my flight don't leave for extra day. Let me stay. You know what I like to do? I like to drink. Nigga, the bars close at 11:15.

[Dustin Poirier]

Oh, yeah. It is not a good.

[Redmond]

That should not be a town.

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Redmond]

That shouldn't even be a city. Like, fuck that. Like, why. Why do people move there? Mormons be tripping me the fuck out. These niggas be eating mushrooms but can't drink or have caffeine.

[Dustin Poirier]

Yep.

[Redmond]

I sold a lot of mushrooms as Merch?

[Luke Aaron]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Isn't there alcohol? Less alcohol. The beers are less.

[Redmond]

Yeah, they water it. You have to buy a food menu item before you can, like, purchase that. That. That was. That is bullshit. Just say you don't like black people. Like, you know what I'm saying? There's certain cities that when you walk in, it was like, hey, we don't serve Hennessy or Heineken unless. And I was like, I haven't even ordered yet. You know what I'm saying? Like, just say you don't want me in your bar. I heard the music Paramore was playing, but I love Paramore.

[Ari Matty]

Are Mormons the one that do soaking?

[Redmond]

Yeah, they do the. So they do the soak, you know.

[Luke Aaron]

Soaking?

[Dustin Poirier]

Yeah. What. What's your take on it? Well, explain it to the people that might not know.

[Fiona Cauley]

So.

[Ari Matty]

So

[Eddie Adams]

you.

[Ari Matty]

So like Dedrick, he can't, like, fuck the bitch, but what he can do is get me while he's around the pussy with his massive cock.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yes.

[Ari Matty]

And I'll shake the bed for him.

[Redmond]

Do you put it. They call it soaking. Cause you put your dick inside, but you don't move.

[Ari Matty]

But then I move the bed for you.

[Redmond]

Yeah, you move the bed. And that's called friendship.

[Ari Matty]

And to be honest, when I'm doing that, I think at this point even God would be like, just the. You got your friend there for sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They.

[Redmond]

That was. It's a weird city because either you are Mormon. It was in the Mormon Bible. They say that when the devil tricked one third of the angels to rebel against God, God turned their skin black. So all black people are like devils. They're not wrong right now, but that's kind of mean. But they said I could be white again if I get saved through the Mormon faith. And I don't think I want to be white. The word nigga sounds so good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let me tell you something. It sounds good to us.

[Ari Matty]

Come on. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dedrick, we fucking love you. You're a superstar. Another brand new two minutes from Dedrick Flynn. Thank you to our sponsors, Bluetooth, prize picks and talk space. How loud can this place get for the great Dustin Porier, everybody? Joining us is Kill Tony panel debut. So fun. How about one more time for the great Ari Matty, everybody? He's on the biggest tour possible. He's working hard, harder than anybody. And that's including when he's not on tour here in Austin. I mean, this is the hardest working guy. It shows through the work. One more time. Ferrari, Maddie, Kill Tony is going to Las Vegas, Nevada, doing Kill Tony with the WWE at WrestleMania April 18th in Vegas. We're doing the Intuit Dome in Los Angeles May 7th. And we're happy to announce we are doing Madison Square Garden again for the third year in a row. August 7th and 8th, two, obviously two different shows both nights in the greatest arena of all time, Madison Square Garden. That'll be our fifth and sixth sold out shows ever. It's absolutely unbelievable. It's my favorite time of the year, August in New York. What's better than that? The drawing from Ryan J E belt is in and it is incredible. It is indeed. Ari, Maddie and Dustin Poirier. Let's see what Chris Rogers drew tonight. Oh, it's Dustin Poirier. Look at that. Again, only for tonight. The merch is across the street at a Kill Tony pop up for south by Southwest. Shout out to the Kill Tony band one more time for them. Thank you to Heidi. Go to heidi regina.com.com See all things Heidi Regina and that's about it. Red Band Check out my new video.

[Redban]

You know me Cat Red 7 on

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

YouTube and Spotify, Vegas, Los Angeles, New York and of course every show here in Austin sold out. So come see us in one of those cities, Vegas, LA or New York. Live audience, we love you. Thank you. Good night everybody. It's Sam It.

[Flash Goran]

I knew about investing but I really

[Dustin Poirier]

didn't know how to go about it.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

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[Dustin Poirier]

It could put money in and it would automatically distribute it into a diversified portfolio. Then it starts to compound the compounding

[Redban]

compounds on the compounding.

[Dustin Poirier]

Just let it run and it's great.

[Hilton Ad Voice]

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[Dustin Poirier]

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