#690 - ARI SHAFFIR + JIM NORTON

Summary

Kill Tony #690: Ari Shaffir + Jim Norton

Date: Nov 5, 2024 | Venue: Skankfest, Las Vegas

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Episode Overview

On a wild, chaotic night at Las Vegas’ Skankfest, Tony Hinchcliffe and Brian Redban host a secret, pop-up episode of Kill Tony joined by legendary comedians Ari Shaffir and Jim Norton. In classic Skankfest style, this episode is looser, rowdier, and even more off-color than usual. A surprise-heavy lineup includes heavy-hitting regulars, wild drum solos, audience mayhem, and last-minute guest spots from the likes of Jeffrey Ross.

Tone: Irreverent, high-energy, and relentlessly raw. This episode celebrates unpredictability, the thrill of live performance, and the community spirit of comedy’s edgiest festival.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Introduction & Panel Banter (00:00–05:50)

• Venue and Vibe: Tony sets the tone, emphasizing that this “secret show” at Skankfest is filthier and more unfiltered than typical Kill Tony episodes at Comedy Mothership.
  • Tony: “These shows here, specifically at Skankfest, are famously vulgar, a lot dirtier, a lot sloppier.” (00:56)
• Panel Assembly: Ari Shaffir and Jim Norton are introduced with wild applause.
  • Tony jokes about Ari getting the crew blacklisted from Madison Square Garden: “MSG is interested in working with us again… only request is no Ari Shafir.” (03:59)

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2. Casey Rocket Opens - Shorts, Whippets, and “Vegas Energy” (05:55–11:41)

• Casey Rocket delivers a surreal, high-energy minute about Vegas debauchery, movies, and personal disgrace:
  • Notable line: “I OD’d on whippets at Spencer’s Gifts last night… they tried to revive me using smelling salts, but they accidentally gave me poppers. So my butthole was massive…” (06:54)
  • Followed by extended riffing with the panel on hairiness, bulges, and Casey’s infamous physical comedy.
  • Memorable moment: Casey, under crowd pressure, reveals his underwear, sparking raucous commentary about his body hair and “13 erections.” (10:12)
• Panel banter celebrates Casey’s “superstar” status and the uniquely disheveled energy of the night.

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3. Bucket Sets & Comedian Interviews

Hector Garcia - “Pool is the Most Racist Game” (13:02–18:33)

• Delivers a joke-heavy set comparing pool to race relations.
  • “You go up to a pool table, what do you see? Just the white ball chilling all free, but the colored balls are all locked up...” (13:08)
• Candid interview: Hector discusses quitting his microchip job for comedy, living in an RV, supporting aging parents, and blowing his $30,000 severance.
  • “I got my resume updated already. You know… I grew up doing tires and tow truck with my dad.” (16:41)

Peter Angelo - “Redneck, Gay, Truck Driver” (19:13–26:58)

• Charismatic set about not fitting into either the redneck or gay communities:
  • “I look like I trick gay men to beat them up later… I’m a redneck, but I’m gay.” (19:16)
• Panel is fascinated by Peter’s “bear” energy and love of twinks; discussion of gay trucking, axe-throwing, and Grindr culture.
  • Tony: “You look like a bear that hunts men bears.” (21:43)
  • Peter: “I teach people to throw axes.” (23:20)
  • “If I open Grindr here, my phone would explode.” (24:26)
• Standout moment: Tony guarantees Peter a future spot at Comedy Mothership for his interview candor. “This is one of my favorite interviews in a fucking long time.” (26:17)

Ari Matti - “Estonian in Vegas” (29:15–38:29)

• A darkly comic set about mental health, suicide ideation, and immigrant struggle.
  • “My mental health is not at a position where I can have an immediate solution to all my problems… I get high and look at my balcony—like, do it, pussy.” (29:47)
• Explores his first trip to Vegas (Golden Nugget), losing at blackjack, and seeing a poolside fight.
• Panel riff about immigration, fake marriages, and his journey toward a US work visa.
  • “You found an Estonian?” (36:12)
  • Ari: “What are we going to do with two useless passports?” (36:16)

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4. More Bucket Comics, Regulars, and Drum Off

Connor Loughran - “Porn, Felony, Cincinnati” (40:27–46:22)

• Set on getting an Amber alert mid-porn and woke movies; talks about having served 76 days in jail, comedic writing, and jailhouse stories.

Sam Adamo - “Italian-Canadian Dildo Drop Shipper” (46:53–57:23)

• Set blends pride in his beater Honda Civic with edgy questions about age-of-consent laws; reveals he makes his living selling dildos online, primarily to closeted men in the Bible Belt.
  • “Don’t look up the people buying dildos. It’s very demoralizing.” (51:17)
  • Opens up about being kicked off a soccer team for controversial jokes on his podcast.

Truly Joy - “Looking Like Ketamine Personified” (58:34–69:09)

• 1-year sober comic; lots of self-deprecating, appearance-based jokes.
  • “I look like if Ketamine was a person.” (58:43)
  • Talks about inheriting a Florida house, being nomadic in LA, sobriety, and mental health struggles.

Armando Hernandez - “Blind, Yet Blunt” (82:58–88:21)

• Blind comic draws sympathy and big laughs for material about his accident and comparisons to other famous blind entertainers.
  • Armando: “There is a blind Latino that’s already famous. You know—Feliz Navidad.” (84:08)
  • Shares story of dual retina-detaching injuries (football, water park) and being a “guinea pig” for Stanford doctors.

Drum Solo Face-off (73:47–74:00)

• Nick Liberatore vs. Michael Gonzalez (regular Kill Tony drummer); crowd-voted contest heightens the variety-show atmosphere.

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5. Featured Regulars & Surprise Guests

Cam Patterson - “Sister’s Coming Out, Strip Club Push-ups” (74:00–78:34)

• Riffs on family’s reaction to his sister coming out gay, and how his dad and uncle are “not progressive.”
  • “My dad went, ‘You’ve been my daughter for 18 years. I love you…but you’re going to hell.' And my sister said, 'Well, see you in hell then, nigga.'" (74:20)
• Describes making strippers do pushups for money in Vegas.
  • “If you do more than 10, I give you $100 right there.” (77:00)
• Panel praises his rapid comedic growth.

Hans Kim - “Oakland, Vegas Magicians, Racist Jokes” (99:25–101:24)

• Jokes about Vegas stealing all of Oakland’s assets, magicians and pedophile stereotypes, and Middle Eastern pagers.
  • “Vegas is the only place you can tell people you’re a magician and they don’t immediately think you’re a pedophile.” (99:46)

Special Guests: Brian Holtzman & Jeffrey Ross (89:30–98:47)

• Brian Holtzman: Delivers unfiltered, stream-of-consciousness set about disabled comics, gym women, fat people, and more.
• Jeffrey Ross: Enters, roasts the panel, recalls Madison Square Garden antics, celebrates the Brody Stevens legacy.
  • “I look like Vince Diesel if he were neither fast nor furious.” (94:43)
  • “One last thing, Tony. Your fans, for whatever reason, they all know about Brody. I saw a lot of Brody shirts walking.” (97:25)

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6. Ari Shaffir’s Off-Stage Stunt & Episode Finale (102:10–108:15)

• Ari Shaffir interrupts the show with a classic "line-stepping" act—an onstage stunt so outlandish that it’s cut from broadcast, but becomes Skankfest legend.
  • “Let it be said, it was wild. It was the greatest moment in Skankfest history. Definitely the most talked about of the year by far.” (102:10)
  • “After this one, I don’t think there’s anywhere left to go… The next place I can go is human sacrifice.” (106:07)
• The show closes with Tony and the Skankfest team thanking guests and sponsors, noting the chaos and energy unique to this special festival episode.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tony Hinchcliffe:
  • “You look like Wetback Mountain.” (18:26; to Hector Garcia)
  • “This is one of my favorite interviews in a fucking long time.” (26:17; about Peter Angelo)
  • “It is hair all the way around… a full grown werewolf.” (10:28; on Casey Rocket’s body hair)
• Panel (Dave Lacy/Brian Redban):
  • “It’s a Jewish Cadillac.” (50:14; describing a well-used Honda Civic)
  • “If I open Grindr here, my phone would explode.” (24:26; Peter Angelo)
• Ari Matti:
  • “My mental health is not at a position where I can have an immediate solution to all my problems.” (29:47)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:56 – Tony explains why Skankfest Kill Tony is unlike other nights.
• 05:55 – Casey Rocket’s opening set & underwear reveal.
• 13:02 – Hector Garcia’s “racist pool” bit.
• 19:13 – Peter Angelo’s “gay redneck trucker” set.
• 29:15 – Ari Matti’s Estonian-in-Vegas, mental health, suicide.
• 40:27 – Connor Loughran’s porn/Amber Alert/jail stories.
• 46:53 – Sam Adamo’s “Dildo Drop Shipping” and Montreal tale.
• 58:34 – Truly Joy’s set on sobriety and living situation.
• 73:47 – Drum solo contest.
• 74:00 – Cam Patterson talks “coming out” and strip club pushups.
• 82:58 – Armando Hernandez (blind comic) set.
• 89:30 – Brian Holtzman’s late-night blitz set.
• 94:15 – Jeffrey Ross roast session.
• 99:25 – Hans Kim’s deadpan Vegas/Oakland material.
• 102:10 – Ari Shaffir’s censored “line stepping” spectacle.
• 108:15 – Show closing & chaotic Skankfest farewell.

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Final Thoughts

"Kill Tony #690" is a microcosm of live, anything-goes comedy—wild, uneven, hilarious, and revealing. From Casey Rocket’s physical antics to Ari Shaffir’s off-air stunt, the episode is jam-packed with comic invention, brutal honesty, and a camaraderie that only comes from the grind of live stand-up. For fans and newcomers alike, this secret Skankfest show is a testament to Kill Tony’s “untriggerable” spirit.

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Recommended for fans of: unfiltered stand-up, comic behind-the-scenes, and those seeking the unpredictable energy of a legendary comedy festival in full flow.

Transcript

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sa.

[Brian Holtzman]

Here in Las Vegas, Carolina, where brand

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

new episode of Kill Tony.

[Brian Holtzman]

Who's ready for the best Skank Fest

[Cam Patterson]

night of their lives?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, make some noise for Red Band, ladies and gentlemen. Guys, we're back at SK Gang Fest. For the first time in years, we're in an arena act and now you get to see us in a real room. How's that? Fuck yeah. You get to watch a podcast that makes money. Make some noise for Skankfest. Luis J. Gomez, Rebecca, Christine. We're here. It's been years. These shows here, specifically at Sky Gang Fest, are famously vulgar, a lot dirtier, a lot sloppier. There's a lot more feedback all the time. There's a lot of weird noises that happen that we're not. We're not normally used to with our high level of productions, both in arenas at the Mothership in Austin. So it's gonna be loosey goosey, fun fun. I'm gonna be pouring into this crown royal a little bit earlier than usual. Very loose, fun episode. Is that co Guys, are you guys happy to be here? If there's anybody that expected a different show or anything or wants to go do something else, feel free to leave. We'll bring other people in and is that cool? Everybody happy? Well, in that case, this is a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. The Sunset Strip Comedy club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets. You guys ready to start tonight's show? Here to watch us watch comedians 2. I can't believe I was able to get them. Two of the greatest comedians in the world. Two of our favorite comedians in the world. Two of the best comedians at Skank Fest. Two of the best guests in the history of the show. Make some noise for Jim Norton and Ari Shafir. Oh, my goodness. Jim Norton and Ari Shafir. First time hanging out since Madison Square Garden with you guys gym with two absolutely incredible sets back to back nights. And to see the love that New York gave you was incredible. Ari Shafir ended up costing us $100,000

[Dave Lacy]

and typical Jew.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. And a lot of trouble.

[Brian Redban]

We tried, man. We tried to play by the rules.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Word on this street is that MSG is interested in working with us again, literally under the only request is no Ari Shavir. It is unbelievable that the world's greatest, most famous venue in the world is like, look, we love you guys. Let's run it back. One thing.

[Brian Redban]

No Ari Shafir you can bring Diddy,

[Dave Lacy]

but not Ari Shafir.

[Brian Redban]

Diddy's doing a whole fucking residency.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're gonna have fun tonight. You guys know how it works. We have a bucket, a little bit of a lighter load than usual, but that's cool. We're gonna deal with it. It was a special super secret pop up show here at Skangfest. Nobody knew about it except for a very, very small amount of extremely. Like seven people knew about it. And so we wrangled comedians real late with like 30 minutes left before the showtime. But if I pull one of the names out, they get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know their time is up. When you hear the sound of a kitten, that means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the angry Fremont street bear. Big gay bear. You guys ready to start tonight's show? I'm gonna pre poll a name. They're gonna wrangle the human being. Somebody from over here is gonna get them. This looks good. Good enough to start. And while we do that, let's have a regular do a brand new minute, huh? Does that sound cool? You guys know this show at all? Ladies and gentlemen, here to do a brand new minute, make some noise for the undeniable superstar, this is the great and powerful Casey Rocket.

[Casey Rocket]

Luck be a lady tonight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Snake eyes.

[Casey Rocket]

God, I'm just trying to get my back blown out in this motherfucker. Put me in a little basket, Push me down the river like baby Moses

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

trying to get baptized. All right, cool, man.

[Casey Rocket]

Love this city. City like this night like tonight. It's good. Get away from the fat cats on Capitol Hill, you know what I mean? They got their little grubby fingies and everything. Movies, tv, especially movies, you know Moulin Rouge? No, Moulin Asian, you know what I mean? It's just crazy to think about. And I was watching all the Terminator movies last night, which was hard because I hate machines.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And

[Casey Rocket]

I thought I'd do a palate cleanser. So I watched all the Transformers movies and I was like, you gotta be fucking.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can't get away.

[Casey Rocket]

I OD'd on whippets at Spencer's Gifts last night.

[Brian Redban]

And

[Casey Rocket]

they tried to revolve, they tried to revive me using smelling salts, but they accidentally gave me poppers. So my butthole was massive and crazy to think about around the holidays. All right, thank you. I'm Casey Rockett. Have a good night.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Casey Rocket. Very, very lovely Vegas themed set. You have a set of dice and some brand new undeniable Las Vegas shorts.

[Casey Rocket]

Kind of sexy to think about.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, very cute.

[Casey Rocket]

Kind of just shaking that thing.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah. Hats off to the Casey bulge. Not bad.

[Casey Rocket]

Thanks.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's real flat front though.

[Casey Rocket]

I didn't think about that. I adjusted it so it would be that. So that's funny. But I adjusted it like

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the rocket doesn't fall far from the tree in this thing.

[Casey Rocket]

It's actually funny you bring that up because I actually adjusted it to look like that so it could have

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Totally normal. Wouldn't worry about that. You look good. How you been enjoying Las Vegas, Casey?

[Casey Rocket]

It's fine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa.

[Dave Lacy]

Are you only here for this?

[Casey Rocket]

I'm here for Skank Fest. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Uh huh.

[Casey Rocket]

Having fun? It's fun. I lost a bunch of money on

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

roulette, so it's been tough.

[Brian Redban]

Who's that black hooker?

[Casey Rocket]

No roulette table. But they gave me something kind of cool. Ooh, consolation. When you lose a couple hundred, they give you some kind of cool. So this is. This is from Harrah's Casino. This is a picture of the Grinch with a gun. So it's kind of cool to think about. And it's signed by Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Casey Rocket]

Kind of, you know, pass it around.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Casey famously gives out pictures sometimes during his sets. One of the many trademarks of the great Casey Rocket.

[Cam Patterson]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Happy to be here. Where do you get a pair of shorts like that?

[Casey Rocket]

These old things?

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

You dressed like half the hookers I've met in this town.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's usually what they change into at 6am after they don't shower. Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

And they don't tuck as well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You can see the thong through it, by the way. Yeah. The underwear that you're wearing underneath are blatantly more comedic than the shorts that you put on over them.

[Connor Loughran]

Yeah, there's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're not gonna make you do it because you're so smart and such a great artist.

[Casey Rocket]

But you want me to pop them off?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, this is Skank Vest. What do you guys think?

[Brian Redban]

See what you're working with, buddy?

[Cam Patterson]

Oh, O.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A master of of reveals. Oh yeah. Even the band is getting into this. Look at that. They know. How about a hand for lmnop the band tonight? Ladies and gentlemen, Joel Ratkowski, Nick Liberator and Dave Lacy. Oh my goodness.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, that's a ball.

[Brian Redban]

That's a ball. Actually, that's more realistic.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is what.

[Casey Rocket]

This is what I wanted to avoid.

[Brian Redban]

Damn. That's a hog, bro. That's nice.

[Casey Rocket]

I've never been so embarrassed.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It looks like you have 13 erections.

[Dave Lacy]

Right now, that's how my underwear looks in the back.

[Brian Redban]

Smuggling in two of Diddy's victims in there.

[Casey Rocket]

Oh, this is my nightmare. What a nightmare.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Casey, you are such a goddamn superstar. Always the funniest hair all the way. I mean, there's just no break between your thighs and your pubes. I can tell there. That is just. It is hair all the way around. For those of you that might be interested in what the body hair of one of your favorite comedians looks like, it is 360 degrees all around the thigh with. No, there's no lightning of it at all. Literally. Looks like. I mean, a full. Full grown werewolf.

[Casey Rocket]

Very hairy, Tony. Thanks for asking. A lot of hair down there and it's growing. Kind of good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that came from within.

[Casey Rocket]

I got goosebumps down there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's all standing up. I can tell.

[Dave Lacy]

You know, it'd be great if you left all the hair and only shaved your asshole.

[Brian Redban]

Do it, do it, do it, do it.

[Casey Rocket]

I do it. I can't do it now. I would. I'd love something like that. It feels good to have you guys looking at me. Not typically something I do. So this is good for business.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a special skank fest secret wild episode. Casey, thank you for getting it started. You are a legend. We love you. There he goes. The great Casey, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, goodness gracious. It's gang fun. This is kill Tony Skank fest secret show.

[Brian Holtzman]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Valerie finally Vaughn, ladies and gentlemen. Heidi is climbing mount Kilimanjaro right now, literally. And Valerie Vaugh is the full time ring card SL waitress for the album. One more time for Valerie, huh? I'd hate to be the blind guy in the audience for that one.

[Brian Redban]

That was better than I imagined. Constantly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So now it's bucket time, everybody. We're going to meet one of these young skank fest comedians. Maybe it's someone in the audience. Maybe it's someone that's been hoping to get on this show for years. Anything can happen. We're going to give them 60 seconds and talk to them all together. Make some noise for Hector Garcia, everybody. Here we go. Hector Garcia.

[Hector Garcia]

What up? We got any fans of borderline racism in the house? Yeah, I'm Mexican. I'm on the fence about it. You know, I could go either way. I like racism in fun places like, you know, pool. You guys like pool is my favorite racist game in the world, guys. You go up to a pool table, what do you see? Just the white ball chilling all free. But the colored balls are all locked up, right? You Gotta bail them out. What happens if you're colored? You fall off the table, Back to jail, you go. Wait till you post bond, but when you're white, you slip through the cracks, you come back at the other end. White ball privilege, bro. They put you anywhere on that table you want, man. Line me up over here. Got a good shot at that red and yellow motherfucker by the rails. Half the balls are white, right? Like some kind of. Still want to see us all in holes. People chalking up, throwing up white powder like LeBron James. They make the black ball go last, like some kind of final boss. You got a battle, like, show enough at the end of the movie, or what happens? You accidentally make the black ball.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Everybody out of the water.

[Hector Garcia]

We can't swim in that shit no more. Drain it, fill it back up again. There's not even a Mexican ball. I think there's an undocumented Mexican ball, lives inside the pool table, comes out at night, does all the. Why else would it look so nice? He's hiding from the white and green ball. That's the Border patrol ball.

[Peter Angelo]

The 14.

[Hector Garcia]

Thank you, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hector Garcia. Proof that we have no border right now.

[Brian Redban]

He wrote this joke, like, a year ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Welcome, Hector. How long you been doing stand up?

[Hector Garcia]

About eight, eight, nine years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow. Where at?

[Hector Garcia]

Mostly in Phoenix, but I'm from Texas. Just move back.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You just moved back to Phoenix?

[Hector Garcia]

I was living in Phoenix. I just moved back to Texas, like, last month.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What part of Texas?

[Hector Garcia]

West Texas. Way in. The way in. The oil fields.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

El Paso.

[Hector Garcia]

Like, three hours east of their Midland, Odessa area. Pecos, Texas, my hometown. Shout out.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Pecos.

[Brian Redban]

It's El Paso.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah, I liked. I like that you stuck with your theme. There's a moment there where it wasn't going. Let's just say, well, but you. But you kept going and the jokes were good, and you were just like, fuck this audience. And they finally came around and they laughed. So I respected that a lot.

[Brian Redban]

And it's something we all do. So next time we play pool, we'll remember that. Bomb.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is true. You stayed in the pocket. You were very comfortable. Those are the pocket. Wait, what?

[Brian Redban]

In the pocket?

[Truly Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Because of what he was talking about.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Pool pockets. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Okay. All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, Hector, what do you do for a living?

[Hector Garcia]

I just left my job. I used to make chips.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of chips?

[Hector Garcia]

Not Tostitos. I made microchips. You know, we sold it to Tostitos. They put in their machines, then they make the chips.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You make microchips?

[Hector Garcia]

Yeah, I used To.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, what do you do now?

[Hector Garcia]

I'm just free right now. I'm not working. Left my job, like two months ago because I ran out of paid time off.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Hector Garcia]

We're doing stand up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So if you had an unemployed Garcia on your Kill Tony bingo card.

[Hector Garcia]

All right, I took a severance. They gave me a severance. I'm like, hell, yeah. I'll see you all later.

[Dave Lacy]

So you left it with no net just to kind of do stand up?

[Hector Garcia]

No, they gave me. They gave me a good. A good chunk of money to leave to quit. I was like, oh, yeah?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Dave Lacy]

No, I said they wanted to get rid of how much?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm curious to know how much.

[Hector Garcia]

They gave me like $30,000.

[Brian Holtzman]

What?

[Jeffrey Ross]

To quit.

[Cam Patterson]

Wow.

[Dave Lacy]

You must have been a shit employee.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Get the hell out of here. Yeah, the way you were talking about this severance package, I was picturing maybe the. The light six figures, but 30,000 is what you're left with. How much do you have Left now?

[Hector Garcia]

About 2000.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When are you gonna start looking for a job, Hector?

[Hans Kim]

Here?

[Hector Garcia]

Pretty soon, man. Probably next month, I think.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Next?

[Hector Garcia]

I got my resume updated already, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What does it say on your resume other than making chips? Not Tostitos.

[Hector Garcia]

I grew up doing tires and tow truck with my dad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Man of the people.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. All right.

[Brian Redban]

Have you ever thought of getting into the coyoteing relatives across the border? It's tax free.

[Hector Garcia]

That'd be a good way to fill seats at a show, right?

[Brian Redban]

I used to put you guys in the El Paso improv for a minute.

[Hector Garcia]

Coyote comedy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, Hector, you just moved back to the middle of Texas. Seems like a tough place to do stand up comedy. What's your plan with the comedy?

[Hector Garcia]

It is, man. I started there when I first started. There was like one mic a week I had to drive an hour to get to. And, like, that's why I moved to Phoenix, because there's so many mics over there. I was like, better opportunity. But now I've been. Got my feet under me. So moving back, hopefully I get to Austin. I got a lot of friends out there that I stay with when I go over there. So we do go over there and hit shows and stuff like that. So.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, all right.

[Dave Lacy]

You quit your job and then just move to a place that has no comedy?

[Hector Garcia]

Things are looking up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. What made you. What made you exactly go back there?

[Hector Garcia]

Family. My family's getting old. My mom's getting old. Dad's getting old. I'm over here chasing this comedy thing, and they're you know, I don't want them to pass while I'm.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know why?

[Hector Garcia]

Why they're not leaving me. No severance.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what's your plan? Just to wait and. Until they die and then move to a better city?

[Hector Garcia]

No, just to be back there, man. Just to make that my home base. And like, because I live in rv, so like I'm pretty mobile. Mobile homeless. You know, I could live anywhere. Move back.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your love life like?

[Hector Garcia]

Newly single guys, no kids, never married.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, you sound nice.

[Hector Garcia]

No kids. Mexican. No kids.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like Wetback Mountain. All right, Hector.

[Dave Lacy]

And he looks at his job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm not going to quit you unless you give me a little severance.

[Hector Garcia]

I was actually dating a black girl, seeing if I could have a baby with her. You know, a wet black.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa, look out.

[Dave Lacy]

I like the confidence of grabbing the mic stand after that.

[Brian Redban]

That's pretty much it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There he goes. Hector Garcia, ladies and gentlemen. On to the next one. Thank you, Hector. Gonna keep it moving along. Make some noise for Peter Angelo. Peter Angelo is next. Your next owner of the Orioles.

[Peter Angelo]

How's it going? A little about me.

[Brian Holtzman]

I'm gay.

[Peter Angelo]

And that's a surprise to me because I look like I tricked gay men to beat them up later. All my dates just look like a hate crime hostage situation. I don't know where I fit in. Cause I'm a redneck. I like doing redneck shit. I like guns. I was a personal truck driver. But I don't really fit in with my redneck friends. I don't mesh them politically or ideology. But I don't fit in with my gay friends either. I just fit in. My gay friends. I don't know what. What's with me? Like, I'm pretty sure I was built in a lab by the gay agenda. Like for the most part, they're making dudes who could host Queer Eye and look good on a parade float. Best I can do is drive the float. They'll be like, can I wave? They're like, nah, we tinted the windows.

[Brian Redban]

So I think there once been a

[Peter Angelo]

scientist in the bowels of a laboratory. Finally got his experiment right. He's like, guys, I finally did it. I made a gay who could infiltrate a neo Nazi rally. Then you cut to me at a cross burning like, guys, white power. But a mouth is a mouth. I'm Pete Angelo, guys. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Peter Angelo. I was having trouble keeping track. Everything. So are you gay? Yeah. You are gay? Yeah. Really? What the, man? Wait, you're gay and I'm not?

[Peter Angelo]

I Know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is unbelievable.

[Dave Lacy]

I don't believe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And somehow you would know. You're like a good referee for this one.

[Brian Redban]

It's like the worst episode of Parent Trap.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Unbelievable. How long have you been gay for?

[Brian Redban]

Well, Tony, really?

[Peter Angelo]

No, no, let's really.

[Dave Lacy]

You look like Larry the cable gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I was going to get him done.

[Peter Angelo]

I was going to change my name to Larry Fox the cable guy. So.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that works.

[Brian Redban]

Your top or bottom?

[Peter Angelo]

Both.

[Brian Redban]

I would hate to be under that amount of torque.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

I don't know how my boyfriend does it.

[Dave Lacy]

I like the fact that Harry's like, I'd be delighted to you, but you on top.

[Brian Redban]

You gotta be a lighter guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're not having that.

[Dave Lacy]

I'm not a queer.

[Brian Redban]

You're not a starter guy. You're like, I've been there for a while, guy.

[Peter Angelo]

Work up to me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Stone Cold Steve bottom. Absolutely incredible. You might be one of the toughest looking gay men I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. This is incredible. You look like a bear that Huntsman bears.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

What kind of guys do you, like, attract? Do you attract guys that like little cubs or what are they?

[Peter Angelo]

I attract a lot of bears, but I like twinks.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I like.

[Peter Angelo]

I like the small twinks.

[Dave Lacy]

Absolutely.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Excellent. Looks like we have a new golden ticket winner.

[Brian Redban]

Ladies Love connection.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Uncle Gazer.

[Brian Redban]

That's not bad. Happy?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely incredible.

[Brian Redban]

I love the material is personal. Interesting. I wish I had heard more about your opinions on the game of pool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Turns out you're the one that loves putting balls in holes.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Sure.

[Brian Redban]

Do you ever put your ball in an ass?

[Jeffrey Ross]

No.

[Peter Angelo]

I gotta try that, though.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. All right, that's the next step. Residuals.

[Dave Lacy]

Now, did you. How did you come out to your parents? Were they shocked?

[Brian Redban]

Would you hold them down and say, this was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I got something to tell you.

[Dave Lacy]

Taste it, dad. Taste it.

[Brian Redban]

Why didn't you hug me? Spill my finger?

[Peter Angelo]

They were fine with it. But again, I think they were scared of me, so it worked out.

[Dave Lacy]

Oh, that's right. He's either a school shooter or he's gonna blow his friends. Let him blow his friends. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Either giving the shots or taking them.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely incredible. So that's what it sounds like when I come. What do you do for a living?

[Peter Angelo]

I was a commercial truck driver. Driver for years. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A gay truck driver.

[Peter Angelo]

Now it's comedy. And I am an ax throwing instructor. An ax throwing instructor? I teach people to throw axes.

[Brian Redban]

Let me show you how to split something open.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Yeah. Let's attack the wood. Spread those Axe cheeks.

[Dave Lacy]

Can I fuck you? Let me ax

[Brian Redban]

you ever hold an ax to a guy's throat as you're fucking him from behind?

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, they love that. That'd be their favorite thing.

[Brian Redban]

It was a joke question.

[Dave Lacy]

Fuck.

[Peter Angelo]

I'm sorry. It's my life, so it's getting a lot of. A lot of real issues here in my life.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Dave Lacy]

No, no, no. I was just gonna ask about rest areas.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was actually my next. That was actually exactly where I was going with.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, break it down for us.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, truck drivers famously have lot lizards and whatnot. Is there a gay. Is there like a lot jizzard or something? Is there a gay version of.

[Peter Angelo]

Very probably. But, like, Grindr exists. I don't need to go pick up a prostitute or anything.

[Brian Redban]

Right on the i5, though. How are you gonna find one?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's.

[Connor Loughran]

Oh, my.

[Peter Angelo]

So have you opened Grindr? Try it. If I open Grinder here, it would. My phone would explode. It's nuts. Like, yeah, I don't need to. I lied in a lot of guys because. Because, like, I'm, you know, straight passing the trucker. They think that's extra hot and they're like, oh, fuck me and your truck. And I'm like, no, I don't really

[Dave Lacy]

want to do that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, where do you fuck them? In their ass?

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah,

[Ari Shafir]

mine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely incredible. I just can't picture you taking it in the ass. It seems like he's fucking with us for comedic effect. How many of you want to see a guy fuck him in the ass right now on this stage? Is there a gay man out there that's willing to fuck this? This is skank fest.

[Brian Redban]

The next bucket bowl just has to take it.

[Peter Angelo]

Let's call my boyfriend. Get him up here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is your boyfriend here?

[Peter Angelo]

He's not at the festival right now, but he's with me.

[Casey Rocket]

In Vegas? Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

He's a 150 pound Chinese man.

[Dave Lacy]

Oh,

[Brian Redban]

is it Hans?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hans Kim.

[Ari Shafir]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where did you meet this guy?

[Peter Angelo]

Grindr?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I guess Grindr is just the

[Peter Angelo]

answer for absolutely everything.

[Brian Redban]

Does he rub you wrong time

[Hector Garcia]

Every day.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dave Lacy]

So you. You stopped driving a truck?

[Jeffrey Ross]

Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

Why didn't you want to fuck in the truck? That seems like it'd be kind of fun.

[Peter Angelo]

It's just full of dirt and sweat and.

[Dave Lacy]

Well, clean it.

[Brian Redban]

You got to smell it later.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's what an asshole's filled with. Like, look, red, man. That's a good, great, man.

[Peter Angelo]

Look, it takes enough work to douche my ass. I'm not gonna do a truck too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like, so My goodness. And so, I mean, this is just incredible. You think you're ever gonna get gay married?

[Peter Angelo]

Nah, nah, I don't think so. Just doesn't interest me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's not fun, right? Why would I do that? Right? You're just having fun, playing with your ding dong. That's your boyfriend's name, Y. So much fun. I mean, Peter Angelo, I gotta be honest with you. This is one of my favorite interviews in a fucking long time. This guy's great big gay bear.

[Brian Redban]

You got books?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We don't have any joke books with us tonight. He deserves one. But I'll tell you what, here's what I will do. If you, when you eventually make it to Austin, Texas, I will give you an automatic spot on whatever kill Tony you show up to at the mother show. You get a minute there.

[Peter Angelo]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Peter Angelo, ladies and gentlemen. Fuck yeah. All right, we're gonna do something fun right now. Before we get back to the bucket, I'm gonna bring another regular up here. God damn it. Jesus fucking Christ almighty. Mommy, what's belt? What a fucking show this is. God damn it. One more time for Valerie Vaughn. What a. This is unbelievable.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah, what a great night. You get tits in your face, I get a cold brew.

[Brian Redban]

Cold brew sitting next to an old Jew. Yeah, it's not even a full one. It's pre opened and fucking tired.

[Dave Lacy]

Not even cold, it's warm still. Here, give that fucking half a mo a beverage and let him shut up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some fucking noise for Jim Norton. He has me crying somehow was just able to make me cry and sweat at the exact same time. I don't know if you noticed this, but I'm now covered in liquid. That's not Peter Angelo's semen. Ladies and gentlemen, another special treat. This is a super secret, amazing pop up show. So it's amazing to me how many of our amazing built in star comedians that were able to join us tonight. This next man is one of the fastest rising stars in all of comedy. His only mission left in life is becoming a citizen of the United States of America. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Estonian assassin, Ari Mati.

[Ari Shafir]

Please do. I had to move apartments. You ever do that, sir?

[Cam Patterson]

Cool.

[Ari Shafir]

I had to move apartments because the last apartment I got, it was on the 32nd floor. It was one of those high rises with one of those balconies. And let me tell you, my mental health is not at a position where I can have an immediate solution

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

to

[Ari Shafir]

all of my problems. Dude, I couldn't even chill because I would Just get high and look at my balcony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like, do it, pussy.

[Ari Shafir]

I've never thought about killing myself, but I have romanticized it. I would love to kill myself over something minute. Like my girl gets back and she's like, you got the wrong coffee beans again. And I'm like, haha, I got a friend right now, he's trying to leave his girlfriend. And his girlfriend did that classic emo thing where she goes, you know, if

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

you're gonna leave me, I'm gonna kill myself.

[Ari Shafir]

And I've never understood how is that a threat.

[Truly Joy]

Like,

[Ari Shafir]

I don't like you, bitch,

[Michael Gonzalez]

and

[Dave Lacy]

now you kill yourself.

[Ari Shafir]

Sounds perfect. Thank you very much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

C' est la vie. Absolutely unbelievable yet again, another brand new minute from the all powerful Estonian assembly. And Ari Matti, thank you, my angel. Tony. I mean, absolutely fucking incredible. I'm gonna be honest with you. I missed the first 25 seconds because I. It is. I don't know why, but I even wrote it down. You got tits in your face. I got a cold brew. I don't know why. That is the funniest thing I've heard in weeks, but it's killing me. And I wrote it down to get it like out of my system. Cause I couldn't hear or think about anything else while wiping te tears away.

[Ari Shafir]

Thank you, Jim Norton, for ruining my moment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You got tits in your face. Thank you, Jim. Turns out I got pause a cold brew. Oh, thank you. Oh my God. All right, Maddie. Brand new Vegas shirt, clearly fresh out of the box. Yes, the lines are.

[Ari Shafir]

Steve. He's already roasting me in the green room, dog. A golden shirt that's not ironed.

[Jeffrey Ross]

What? I.

[Ari Shafir]

An oxymoron. I get it, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Estonia, famous for their saunas. Not so much for their steamers, obviously.

[Ari Shafir]

I tried to. Okay, I fucking stop laughing. I tried. I tried to iron it, but it's made of plastic. It started melting. Dude, I almost burned down the Golden Nugget, so I can't fucking iron it, Tony.

[Brian Redban]

You know, unlike Estonia, we don't have rolling blackouts. So you can just steam it in the shower. Shower with hot water. It'll never run out.

[Ari Shafir]

Wow, okay. I've never thought about that.

[Brian Redban]

American chips, Jewish solutions.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You can use the shower for free. The hot water in the shower creates steam. Therefore you don't need to rent or buy a steamer.

[Dave Lacy]

The steam doesn't cost anything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He says, Oh my God, I love it.

[Brian Redban]

I actually don't care for that at all.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ari, how are you enjoying Vegas?

[Jeffrey Ross]

Tell us.

[Ari Shafir]

Oh my God. I highly recommend the Golden Nugget. What a piece of. It's the best, dude. It's the best. It's got that fucking smoke in the the walls. Makes me want to get a wife and hit her. You know what I'm saying?

[Dave Lacy]

Trust me. So does staying at the Circa.

[Brian Redban]

Is this your first time in Vegas?

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, first time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Ari Shafir]

I played my first gamble yesterday. I gamble. You ever do that?

[Dave Lacy]

Yes. I don't wear condoms.

[Ari Shafir]

I lost all of it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What did you play?

[Ari Shafir]

Black and Jack.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Ari Shafir]

Yes, it was a big. It was. It was a lady with a big. And I just kept giving her money and then I think they bend the rules there. And they tried to fuck me, but.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh shit.

[Ari Shafir]

And then I saw a fist fight in the pool today.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

O. In the pool?

[Ari Shafir]

Yes. The Golden Nugget has a pool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow.

[Dave Lacy]

Sure that wasn't Peter and his boyfriend? That wasn't a fight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Who won the fight in the pool?

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, the security did. But it is funny when two guys are starting to fight in the pool, cuz, you know, they have to like just.

[Sam Adamo]

Yeah, like talking, going at each other. Go slow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just how close were you to this fight?

[Ari Shafir]

Very close.

[Connor Loughran]

I.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You hear. You could hear what it was about.

[Ari Shafir]

I heard you. No, you.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Written by the people.

[Ari Shafir]

And it's funny when that sort of stuff starts happening how the men will, you know, clear the way. But women are always in the way of punches and kicks too. No spatial awareness, just bitches with cocktails.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's. It's old Vegas too, when you can

[Ari Shafir]

pay attention to your surroundings.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah, no doubt about it.

[Brian Redban]

Have you.

[Dave Lacy]

Have you really romanticized killing yourself or are you just kidding? No, no, no, I'm not concerned. I'm just curious.

[Ari Shafir]

You're not concerned?

[Dave Lacy]

No, no.

[Peter Angelo]

You seem fine.

[Ari Shafir]

No, but it is, you know, easy way out. I always feel good. If I feel stressed about my set, I'm like, I can just do it. No instant cold kill. Tony, hall of Famer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's no doubt about it. That In Memoriam video would kick ass.

[Ari Shafir]

Or if I jump off something and make it come back. Dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, no doubt about it. Positive push. It would be wild to make you an American citizen. Post life. Yeah, it's more to mortal posthumously.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, both.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Both.

[Brian Redban]

Good words.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah, all good words.

[Brian Redban]

Post life is on how you like in America. What. What's going on with this green card? It's fucking annoying.

[Ari Shafir]

I know I have a temporary work visa, but I think we can hook it up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, there was a woman that proposed to you. The audience is not. I Don't think they're might. So perhaps I should let people know that at the top of your.

[Ari Shafir]

She's Estonian. Dude, I know this girl.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You found an Estonian?

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, she's Estonian. Literally. What are we going to do with two useless passports? It doesn't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, she American citizen. You what? What would you do to Ari, Maddie, if he said yes? Would you really marry him?

[Brian Redban]

Would you suck his dick until it comes in your mouth?

[Ari Shafir]

All right, these are Estonian angels. Don't talk to them like that, okay?

[Brian Redban]

I.

[Ari Shafir]

These are not American women. They will steal your stuff.

[Sam Adamo]

Stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. She just threw an actual ring at Ari. Maddie. Oh my goodness.

[Brian Redban]

This. That's. That's law.

[Ari Shafir]

Look at this, huh? Is this. What is your. Did your husband give you this?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Don't tell him. Don't tell him.

[Ari Shafir]

Ah, okay. See, this is how we do. We scam our way to citizenship.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely.

[Dave Lacy]

She's very attractive, very beautiful.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, she's. They're all banger.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Look, you like Estonian women, right?

[Ari Shafir]

I love them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what's stopping you from being with this beautiful woman that just threw a ring at you?

[Ari Shafir]

What am I.

[Brian Redban]

It's a pretty good sign.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay, I said yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go, ladies and gentlemen. I know. Matty's getting married.

[Michael Gonzalez]

What's happening, everybody?

[Brian Redban]

Wow, Ari's getting his green card and his dick sucked.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anything else we should know, Ari?

[Ari Shafir]

No, not right now. I'm hoping better luck at the casino today, you know?

[Brian Redban]

Are you able to work in America?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes, you can?

[Ari Shafir]

I am.

[Brian Redban]

Okay, great.

[Ari Shafir]

Yes, totally legal.

[Brian Redban]

I mean, stand up. Can you.

[Connor Loughran]

Can you get.

[Brian Redban]

Take jobs and stuff?

[Ari Shafir]

Absolutely.

[Brian Redban]

Okay, nice.

[Ari Shafir]

How am I promoting my own shows then?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, Ari's doing great stuff. Theaters all around, the Killers of Kiltoni is own gigs, a ton of stuff.

[Ari Shafir]

Yes, it's going really good. Everybody's very supportive. Okay, this is. It's great, this interview turn. Why don't we bring up Jim Norton's bit again? Get this crowd back on board.

[Dave Lacy]

I didn't hear you, but I agree with it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're killing it, Ari. Great, another new set. Ari, Maddie, enjoy the rest of the show, baby. And it goes on and on. Your next buc. Gentlemen, we're going to.

[Brian Redban]

I'm sorry, one second. I just.

[Jeffrey Ross]

This is.

[Brian Redban]

This is the wrong flavor. If I could get another flavor. Valerie, if there's any chance I got a different flavor of white cloth.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What flavor would you like?

[Brian Redban]

Just another flavor. I'll tell you if it's right after I get it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have no request of another flavor.

[Brian Redban]

Like a watermelon?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, no, no. Get the out of here. Jesus Christ.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Almost forgot where we were until this bum genie came out of a. Jesus Christ. Welcome to Skank. Can I have the white hole is kidding, you retard. Jesus.

[Brian Redban]

Waiting for it too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh my God. Some of these people literally spend like half of their net worth to come to Skank Fest for three days. Wow.

[Jeffrey Ross]

So much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, Jesus Christ.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, that's right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm finally realizing why Ari only shaved half of his face. That is the let me rub my head between your tits side of his face. Can we get another cold brew for Jimmy?

[Dave Lacy]

I'm thirsty too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Guys.

[Dave Lacy]

Did you piss in a glass and throw it on me?

[Peter Angelo]

I'm talking to you, Ari.

[Brian Redban]

All right, see how the night unfolds.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket poll. 60 seconds uninterrupted. Could be the next star. Could be the worst set of the night. Anything could happen. Make some noise for Connor lan, everybody. Here we go. Woo.

[Connor Loughran]

They didn't tell me there were going to be boobs backstage. That's not fair. We'll try this. Anyway, I recently got an amber alert on my phone while I was watching porn. Can't have those moments back. You ever get post nut clarity? Pre nut. Reality came rushing in real quick. I tell you, I was getting into it. I was watching the video. All of a sudden that alarm goes up. I was like, oh, my God. I guess they're looking for you.

[Truly Joy]

I. Right on.

[Connor Loughran]

Sick of these woke movies, guys. I tell you, I'm sick of them. They're getting into superhero movies now. Even those are woke.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Ant Man.

[Connor Loughran]

What's next, Uncle Lady?

[Sam Adamo]

Guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right,

[Brian Redban]

good enough.

[Connor Loughran]

I'm calling it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you. All right. Connor Loughran, welcome. Connor.

[Connor Loughran]

Hey, buddy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You were just on the show a couple weeks ago in Austin.

[Connor Loughran]

It got me here. It's been amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep. Luis J. Gomez was one of the panelists and he invited you here to Skank Fest and here you are.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, buddy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's all happening.

[Dave Lacy]

Very funny writing. I like the writing. The jokes were good. I love the fact that you used the breasts you came out as. Your opening line used something. It was really funny, man.

[Jeffrey Ross]

They.

[Sam Adamo]

I.

[Connor Loughran]

They were unavoidable back there. I had to talk about.

[Dave Lacy]

Oh, no. I mean, but you used it on stage.

[Connor Loughran]

It was a nuisance.

[Dave Lacy]

They are lovely.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is. Connor, tell us more about you that we don't know yet.

[Connor Loughran]

All right. We talked about. I'm a convicted person. Felon last time.

[Dave Lacy]

Oh, what'd you do? I wasn't.

[Brian Redban]

For what?

[Sam Adamo]

Drugs.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Don't worry.

[Connor Loughran]

Not one of those bad ones.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's okay. It's not that big of a deal to be a felon. You could still be President of the United States. Hopefully.

[Connor Loughran]

Listen, brother, my hair's not real either. Let's do this thing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Connor Loughran]

I'm getting after it. Nice. More about me. I've been doing comic six years in Cincinnati. Just moved to Austin. Got on your show. Fucking immediately. Felt like a bunch of strokes of luck. It's feeling great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Connor Loughran]

Awesome.

[Brian Holtzman]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How's Vegas treating you? What are you doing for fun here?

[Connor Loughran]

I. I'm so, like, I had to book myself. I mean, I had to pay my own way. That's fine. Who gives a fuck? But I'm at Boulder Station, and it is. It is the.

[Brian Redban]

It's not a woo thing.

[Connor Loughran]

Saddest hub of, like, down and out. We're gambling the rent people that you've ever seen in your life. Like, it's like the people that were getting their heads slammed in the door in the movie casino. That's who's at Boulder Station.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dave Lacy]

I Like, there's a little resentment there, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like, I'm having a great time.

[Dave Lacy]

The hotel sucks. I hate to pay my own way. Glad Lewis invited me. Paid for nothing.

[Connor Loughran]

I don't have enough clout to say all that. Exactly. Yes, but yet you covered me.

[Sam Adamo]

I appreciate you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. No, that's amazing.

[Dave Lacy]

How much time did you do in jail? Sorry.

[Connor Loughran]

Like, seven minutes. Do you mean stand up?

[Dave Lacy]

What's that?

[Connor Loughran]

Sorry. 90 days.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa.

[Connor Loughran]

Actually, let me be clear. 76 days. I wrote a letter to the judge to get out early. I was like, hey, my grandpa's dying. And he was. But seriously. And so, like, the judge let me out early, gave me early release. And then for that week, I became the write a letter to the judge guy for the entire cell block.

[Dave Lacy]

Does it work?

[Connor Loughran]

He's like, this guy's got some degree of verbiage. He'll pull it off.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dave Lacy]

There's a movie in that somewhere.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Connor Loughran]

Catch me if you will.

[Sam Adamo]

Thank you.

[Brian Redban]

All the black guys. Like, can I get all I got to do? Like, no. Doesn't work that way.

[Connor Loughran]

I actually hung out mostly. I hung out with the black guys in jail.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, in prison there were black people?

[Michael Gonzalez]

No.

[Hector Garcia]

Yeah.

[Connor Loughran]

There's a ton. There's a ton. That's who I hung out with. There's actually, like. It's a disproportionate amount. I was like, I don't remember this many outside, but here they are.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But, oh, yeah, not in the Neighborhood that you grew up in?

[Connor Loughran]

Not. It's. I'm actually from South Hills, Pittsburgh. I born a block away from Wiz Khalifa, if you can believe that. You can't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Brian Redban]

Sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You must have been the yellow he was rapping about.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah, I went to camp with Biz Marky.

[Connor Loughran]

I do cook a good. Yet you say he's just a friend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy shit. All right, Connor, well, what else is going on? Anything else we should know about? What was some of the worst stuff that happened to you in your days in prison?

[Connor Loughran]

I mean, my cellmate snored as loud as, like, three dads.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Connor Loughran]

You know like how loud a dad snores? It was like three of them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What did he do to get in jail?

[Connor Loughran]

I don't know. Snore too loud. I don't talk to the guy. I is like, jail's not like prison. You don't ask everybody why you're here. Because it's not rapist. Nobody's like, trying to up a guy because he's in jail for rape. You're in prison for rape.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But your cellmate, you should probably have talked to him like I talked to

[Connor Loughran]

him a little bit. Listen, I'm trying to forget this a little bit.

[Brian Redban]

What's your favorite color? All right, like, he was a snore all. So the rape, I guess.

[Connor Loughran]

No, I mostly hung out with the Crips because there was a comedian, a fellow Cincinnati comedian. His cousin was in the Crips. And while I was locked up, he goes, you know marquis. I was like, yeah, I just played spades with those guys all day.

[Brian Redban]

Wow, nice.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Yes.

[Dave Lacy]

It worked out.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Connor Loughran]

They'll call you gay for doing that. Fun fact. There's, like a racial hierarchy in jail.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, what shouts out. Just Chandler from cell blocking. I'll call you.

[Dave Lacy]

Gay for doing what?

[Brian Redban]

What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Stick with the show.

[Connor Loughran]

You'd gay for hanging out with black dudes. Like, if you're. If you're at a table playing cards with black dudes, they're like, you're definitely getting by those guys. I'm like, I. Maybe if they're cool with it. But

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

if you don't write the letter.

[Connor Loughran]

Exactly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Connor. Well, fun times. Congratulations. You got pulled out of the bucket twice in three weeks. Connor Loughran, everybody. Your next bucket pool is inside. It is one of you. I have been informed that it is one of you. And it is the one that goes by the name of Sam Adamo, everybody. Or Adamo, perhaps. Is this him here? Sam, come on up. Samo,

[Truly Joy]

Bro.

[Sam Adamo]

I drive A piece of shit. It sucks. I drive a Honda Civic with 200,000 miles on it from 2009. It's my favorite thing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thing.

[Sam Adamo]

It's the best. I have this thing in that car I call Civic Superpowers. I don't give a fuck what happens in that car. Like, I was driving down the street the other day, there was a guy next to me in a Maybach. It's a fucking $200,000 car. He's fucking weaving to avoid potholes. He's scared. He's a fucking prisoner. I'm free like a bird. Fucking cutting people off. I'm not even checking my blind spot. I'm like, you want to do this? Fucking ball's in your court. You want to touch me? This is your call, bro. You know. Why is it legal to fuck a 16 year old? Because it's above the age of consent. But you can't see a picture of her after because it's considered child porn. I didn't write the laws. It's just, you know, I don't know much sense it makes. It's like you could suck on her tits in real life, but if you see them digitally, you're doing five. Who wrote this teaser?

[Ari Shafir]

Thank you,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sam. Adamo.

[Sam Adamo]

Hello.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Adamo.

[Sam Adamo]

Adamo.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Adamo. What ethnicity are you?

[Sam Adamo]

Italian. Family's Italian.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

100 Italian?

[Sam Adamo]

Yeah. Both sides. Which is gay to talk about, but it's what it is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's not gay. I was just curious because your eyebrows look Iranian. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Those things are fleek esque.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. You take good care of them.

[Sam Adamo]

You gotta suffer to look good. Yes.

[Brian Redban]

You color those in.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You darken them. That's a trend right now, people.

[Sam Adamo]

No, I get them very aggressively waxed. Skin comes off. It's a whole thing. But it's. It's the price you pay.

[Brian Redban]

Your accent says Feast of San Janeiro, but your eyebrows sing October 7th.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Where are you from, Sam?

[Sam Adamo]

Montreal, Canada.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Mora, you still in there?

[Sam Adamo]

Yes, I'm from there. Born and raised.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Born and raised. Still there. How do you feel about Montreal?

[Ari Shafir]

It's.

[Sam Adamo]

It's kind of weird. We got French, so it's a weird city. Like, the standup scene is kind of, you know, it's split in half. We don't, you know, to do it in English is a little odd, but it's. Yeah, it works. It's a good feeder city, you know, it's a fun city. A lot of people come to give it a rip, which is nice, but a lot of tourists, a lot of random French People just come to English shows.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa, whoa.

[Brian Redban]

Shut the. Get him out of here.

[Dave Lacy]

How many years?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, seriously, how many years?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This isn't that show, guys.

[Sam Adamo]

Old enough to your mother you can

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

go to, go to one of the podcasts that don't have a format if you want to yell stuff out. It's every other podcast Anyway.

[Dave Lacy]

I like that you seemed a little. At one point, you seem like you kind of gave up like a little bit of faith. Like you seemed like you're like, ah. He felt defeated. But then you ask like a really important question that I've been looking for an answer for.

[Sam Adamo]

Yeah, I'm asking the hard hitting question

[Dave Lacy]

and I felt like I would really hope there's a lawyer here that could answer.

[Sam Adamo]

It's quite the pivot.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah.

[Sam Adamo]

But I had no choice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I.

[Sam Adamo]

It wasn't going well and we had to double down. It is what it is. Yeah, you know, it's. It's A room of this magnitude is a little different to what I'm used to. You know, the pacing's a little off, but you know, whatever. I'm happy to be here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is this piece of shit called car that you speak of?

[Sam Adamo]

It's a Honda Civic 2009 quality car. I call it the Batmobile. No, it's great. It could take a licking. It does whatever, does whatever it's got to do.

[Truly Joy]

It's.

[Brian Redban]

It's still alive, it's affordable.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's a Jewish Cadillac.

[Brian Redban]

Exactly.

[Dave Lacy]

You roll back the odometer,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

put it

[Brian Redban]

on blocks, drive it in reverse for a couple hours.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. What do you do for work, Sam?

[Sam Adamo]

Drop shipping. I've been doing stand up two years, so I just gotta make it work.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So drop shipping. Drop shipping?

[Connor Loughran]

Yes.

[Brian Redban]

What is that? What?

[Sam Adamo]

It's E commerce. I. I sell online.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. He buys a bunch of cheap and resells it on Amazon for five times more. Yep, yep, we figured that out.

[Sam Adamo]

Mostly sex toys, dildos.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Really? Is that true? Are you being trying to be funny?

[Connor Loughran]

Yes.

[Sam Adamo]

Oh, it's the gods.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

God's honest. Explain to us the business model of specializing in dildos.

[Dave Lacy]

Yes. And a friend of mine would like to know, how do you get off one

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

spoiler alert. I'm the friend.

[Dave Lacy]

What do you mean? Yeah, another spoiler. It's my purple.

[Sam Adamo]

If you want. Whatever. It's, it's. It's not that glamorous. But when you start, there's a real temptation to look up the names of the people who. Looking to buy them and just don't do that. Just don't don't look up the people buying dildos. It's very demoralizing, like what we mean. It's a lot of gay men.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, that's not what you'd expect.

[Sam Adamo]

A lot of gay men in the Bible Belt. It's a lot of gay men. Like in the South. I've sold like zero in years, like two or three years to anyone in New York. Like no one has any shame there. It's just all, it's all people in like Alabama, Mississippi, they're buying from a Canadian wop. Like it was fucking, just pressing, pressing the fucking fulfillment button. Like, you fucking disgust me.

[Dave Lacy]

And I'm just, you know, bunch of big double headed ones to Jay Trudeau. I knew that would bomb.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sam, what do you do for fun? You seem like the kind of guy that buys bottles at nightclubs.

[Sam Adamo]

Fucking hate those guys so much, dude. No, I, no, I don't drink much. I played some soccer competitively most of my life. I don't now since kind of starting stand up. But yeah, I, I, I like to play in the winter on like a recreational team, bro. I got kicked off my, my team last year actually, so I'm without a club right now. Without a team.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dave Lacy]

Why'd you get kicked off?

[Sam Adamo]

Because an article was written about me in the, in a news Pedophile dot com. No, I, I have a podcast and I was talking about the indigenous and the local in Canada. It's tough. And the local newspaper, local newspaper on the reservation bordering Montreal wrote about it.

[Brian Redban]

They know how to write now.

[Sam Adamo]

Yeah, it's great. It's incredible. And no, the guys on my team got freaked out and they, they kicked me off so for fear that it might, you know, they might get us, you know, be a shame if I came out on the number one live podcast in the world. Just said what the team name is and fucking.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Would you like cover? Can you tell us what you said about the indigenous on your podcast?

[Sam Adamo]

I told him to put the bottle down.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, I like this version of

[Sam Adamo]

you, Crown royal, you know, it's, it's ruined many a native family where I'm from. It is what it is, you know?

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

This guy's so much better than a standup was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, this, this loose version of you that's like, I shouldn't, but I'm going to say it.

[Sam Adamo]

I know, bro, Everyone tells me you

[Brian Redban]

yourself now, you're not like trying to be anything. I know.

[Sam Adamo]

I, I was sitting down, I, I went up cold.

[Casey Rocket]

It is what it is, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's.

[Sam Adamo]

But no.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're getting warm now is what you're saying.

[Sam Adamo]

Sure, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Sam Adamo]

My dick is growing right now, bro. Look at my Lululemon underwear on them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So are your eyebrows.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, the eyebrow. Are you coloring those in? Those aren't natural.

[Sam Adamo]

I swear to God. You want to touch them? You want to rub your face on?

[Cam Patterson]

Go ahead.

[Sam Adamo]

Oh, you got to do it now.

[Brian Redban]

Okay. Whoa.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here we go.

[Sam Adamo]

It's like Trump's hair.

[Brian Redban]

Damn, it's thick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is, right?

[Brian Redban]

It's like something you stop up a hole and not let mice into your apartment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your love life like, Sam? What's it like for a dildo seller?

[Sam Adamo]

I have a girlfriend. Her family's very proud of me. No, I. I've been dating my girlfriend for six and a half years. So we. We met in school.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You've been with the same girl for six and a half years?

[Sam Adamo]

Yes, sir.

[Casey Rocket]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Does she ever get high on your supply of dildos?

[Sam Adamo]

She got one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She got one, yeah. What color is it?

[Sam Adamo]

It's whatever color my skin is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You made sure of that.

[Michael Gonzalez]

You're not getting a plaque.

[Brian Redban]

One. End of story.

[Sam Adamo]

It's my dick, Cody. It's my dick.

[Dave Lacy]

You have a great look to your. Great facially, like you act as well.

[Sam Adamo]

No, no, I've never acted. There's no money for. There's nobody in stand up in Montreal, currently. You're not. We don't have any. I don't have an agent or anything. It's not.

[Brian Redban]

Mike Ward makes money. Pardon? Mike Ward makes money.

[Sam Adamo]

He does, yeah. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's really good to us up there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So do you spend most of your time in Montreal? You go a lot of other places. You ended up here because you're a fan of the skanks?

[Sam Adamo]

My buddy's actually on the festival. He's got a club up there. I'm a regular at his club, so he just had me come down. He's. He's signed up. He's the best. He's awesome. So I'm just taking it in, man. I'm kind of a couple years in. Just wanted to take it in.

[Brian Redban]

Sure. He's glad you're not saying his name.

[Sam Adamo]

What's up?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old are you?

[Sam Adamo]

27.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long you been on stand up?

[Sam Adamo]

A little over two years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So this is a pretty big deal for you, right?

[Sam Adamo]

It's huge.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Sam Adamo]

It's fucking massive. I'm really happy to be here. I've been in New York a couple times, but I've never been this far west, so it's great to be around, you know, the festivities.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's where it's at, man.

[Brian Redban]

Dude, I rarely see, like, potential in someone, but this. This you is. Is, like, if you find this you on stage, you'll be great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I was just going to say the exact same thing. Absolute. And it's not because of your time up here. It's because there was something in the passion of what you were saying and the way that you were saying it. It's not because you were warmed up. It's because you felt like it was kind of wrong what you were saying, but you wanted to say it because it was wrong when you said it. But it's not really wrong because you're in the free speech mecca. I can imagine why you would be a little bit more scared in Canada, where people have gotten in trouble for jokes and can get in trouble, and your prime minister's a giant fucking retard, but he is.

[Sam Adamo]

He talked at my school when I was 15, and I was like, I was gonna buy this. And fucking eight years later, he was a collected.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Wow.

[Dave Lacy]

Next thing you know, you're selling dildos to J. Trudeau.

[Sam Adamo]

You know, But, I mean, what are you gonna do? Yeah, but. But you're right. Like, it's. You know, it's. That's what got me in on the podcast, though, when I was talking about the natives, I wasn't celebrating it. I'm like, this is an inconvenient thing. What are you gonna do? It's, you know,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

trying to help you.

[Sam Adamo]

You know, it's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is your dad. And what are your mom and dad doing? Like, what are they like? Like, they have pasta. Pasta every Sunday.

[Sam Adamo]

Yeah, yeah, we. Yeah, we would do that mostly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And your dad's super Italian. What does he do? Works in the leather shoe business or something.

[Brian Redban]

He sells backhands at home?

[Sam Adamo]

No, no, he does. And he's. He's. He's educated. He's not a. Like, most Italian.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does he do?

[Sam Adamo]

He's like me. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Stick over here. What does he do, Sam?

[Sam Adamo]

He's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He.

[Sam Adamo]

He works in marketing. He just. He's got a job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And moms stay at home.

[Sam Adamo]

No, no, just also white collar.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does she do?

[Sam Adamo]

Insurance.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Jesus.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah.

[Sam Adamo]

There's a lot of questions, Tony. Is your mom Italian?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jesus Christ. All right, all right. I'm not going to. No one's ratting your family out. Make some noise for him to kill, Tony. Debut of Sam Adamo, ladies and gentlemen. There he goes. Sam Adamo. Wyatt. Wild times out here.

[Brian Redban]

Skank Fest was real. Somebody would be in a seat right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Brian Redban]

If Skankfest was real? Somebody would have just taken a seat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

If Skank Fest was real.

[Brian Redban]

Was what Skank?

[Dave Lacy]

Somebody would have stolen his seat while he was up here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

Can I have a water?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Someone may have.

[Dave Lacy]

They have very tiny waters.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Dave Lacy]

Could I have a water?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Your next bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of Truly Joy. Truly Joy. From the inside, ladies and gentlemen, we're insider Truly Joy.

[Truly Joy]

Hey, what's up?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Up.

[Truly Joy]

So I recently hit one year clean and sober. And it's pretty tough looking like this because no one believes me. The other day this guy came up to me and he told me that I reminded him of that cool turtle from Finding Nemo. Honestly, that wasn't the first time time I've heard that. Then this other guy comes up to me and tells me that I look like if Ketamine was a person. I thought that was pretty accurate. I get it, though. I look fried. I look like if Cheech fucked Chong and had a baby. Got time for one more? All right, guys. What do you call a gay dude that doesn't get sensitive? A cool ass dude. What do you call a lesbian that doesn't get sensitive? A cool ass chick. What do you call a non binary person that doesn't get sensitive?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Julie, Joy, welcome, welcome. Chuly. Went a little over your time there.

[Truly Joy]

It's okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're so close. Hi, Chuli. Am I saying that right? Chuli?

[Truly Joy]

Yeah, you got it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah. So your entire identity is what you look like?

[Truly Joy]

Kind of. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's what it seems like from your minute.

[Truly Joy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So let's talk about it. How long you been doing standup?

[Truly Joy]

Like, four months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Where do you do that at? What? What?

[Truly Joy]

I started in LA at 4th wall in Hollywood.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

That place.

[Dave Lacy]

Nope.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

You guys don't know no, L.A. not the fourth.

[Truly Joy]

You know LA.

[Dave Lacy]

I do know LA.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, cool.

[Dave Lacy]

You have taken a meeting.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is incredible. You definitely do have a look to you. Have you always had that type of charisma, hair everything?

[Truly Joy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Awesome. Do you surf?

[Truly Joy]

I don't really surf.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Skateboard.

[Connor Loughran]

I love.

[Truly Joy]

I like riding longboards.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

Did you ever do shot shot shots? Shot, shot, shot, shot shots.

[Truly Joy]

I made a joke about this last night out of my. Like, I've been hearing that, like, all day, every day. And I haven't heard it, like, at

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

all

[Truly Joy]

since I'm in Miami. Came out because I'm from Florida and, like, it was crazy.

[Dave Lacy]

Wait, is that the. The sexy and I know it guy?

[Truly Joy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's him. Every day. I'm chuckling.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Hector Garcia]

You like that?

[Dave Lacy]

I like the stuff you said about yourself. The Cheech and Chong joke.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Dave Lacy]

The first two you had about your appearance were good.

[Truly Joy]

Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

And the joke jokes, like we do that, like when we first start, just to fill the time. But you should concentrate more on your own stuff because you're very interesting looking. You have an interesting point of view. Ketamine was a great line. Ketamine.

[Brian Redban]

I got a question for you. What do you call a non sensitive, non binary person?

[Truly Joy]

They.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Cool. Oh, good. Wow. The bear. The bear punched up your joke. Truly. What exactly do you do for a living?

[Truly Joy]

So I have a house in Florida that I own and I rent it, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you're homeless?

[Truly Joy]

I'm more or less like nomadic, but I've been living in LA for the last like six or seven months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where do you live in la?

[Truly Joy]

I live in Santa Clarita at my

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

friend's house, on his couch.

[Truly Joy]

I have a room. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is it the living room?

[Truly Joy]

No, it's actually.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can't picture you having your own enclosure. Of all the things you look like, you look like a guy that doesn't have his own bedroom.

[Truly Joy]

Well, believe it or not, I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, this belongs in Ripley's because I do not believe it. You have a room that has a door.

[Truly Joy]

I do?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You close it when you want locks. No way.

[Truly Joy]

Yes, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is it a real lock or do you do it with your imagination?

[Brian Redban]

Dude.

[Dave Lacy]

Okay, for real, what do you do during the day when you're not at the gym working on your calves.

[Brian Redban]

It's a twig.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. Wow.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my God.

[Truly Joy]

It's good.

[Brian Redban]

You know, how do you even stand on those?

[Dave Lacy]

What holds you up, you little puppet leg.

[Brian Redban]

Thank God the air conditioning is off or you get blown over.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Those are the most realistic looking prosthetic legs I've ever seen. You got the hair and everything. They put hair on them now.

[Dave Lacy]

God bless us, all of us.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My goodness. This guy. No size change between the calves and the thighs whatsoever. Incredible. It's a very leg driven episode of Kill. Tony. We're getting to see a lot of people in shorts for the first time. Skankfest, famous for their short wearing comedians. You come to this festival often?

[Truly Joy]

This is my first time. I honestly came out here to sign up for Coltonia on Wednesday.

[Brian Redban]

How did you know? I didn't even know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, we had a sold out giant massive show on Wednesday.

[Brian Redban]

That's a good way to get the word out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you signed up on Wednesday and you just stuck around?

[Truly Joy]

Yeah. Somebody told me about an open mic last night, so I just went there

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

and then you went.

[Truly Joy]

I went to the open mic last night and.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you stuck around for an extra night.

[Truly Joy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know what?

[Truly Joy]

I'm out here. I want to do comedy. Like, I'm just gonna go to skank fest and then I just found myself in the line for the secret show for you.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's a wonderful skank.

[Truly Joy]

Yeah. So this is technically my third time signing up for Kill Tony because I was in Austin like a week and a half ago ago, so I was just like, damn, third time's a charm, I guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. There you go. Look at you.

[Brian Redban]

Well, that really makes you think what you just said.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's amazing. Have you ever had a concussion?

[Truly Joy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you remember how you got the concussion? Well, I'm curious because he's wearing one of those new pads that they put over the football helmets on top of his head.

[Brian Redban]

That airs.

[Truly Joy]

Yeah, you know, know. It's like being tall. You run into a lot, you know?

[Brian Redban]

I do know, and I don't know what you're talking about. I've been tall my whole life.

[Truly Joy]

You also don't have that much hair, bro. No offense. Like, I got like hair in my eyes, so, like, I'll bump into.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know that. That's a decision that you make, having hair like that, right? I like my hair.

[Truly Joy]

I actually cut my hair like a year ago and I didn't like it that.

[Brian Redban]

That much.

[Truly Joy]

Like I'm. I like the curls.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You like it like that?

[Truly Joy]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Even though you're massively concussed and blaming it on the hair that gets into your eyes. You're suffering. You'd rather I. I would.

[Brian Redban]

You've got a concussion just walking into. No, you said the hair, though. But if you hit your hair against the wall, that didn't give you a concussion.

[Truly Joy]

Dude, if you're. So the last time I feel like I got a concussion, right, I was in my friend's warehouse and he has like. Like this, like. It's like a two story, short ass little thing and I was going underneath and I thought the garage door thing was open and I went,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

hit the top right there.

[Brian Redban]

Nice. At times.

[Truly Joy]

That hurt so bad.

[Brian Redban]

Solid job there.

[Truly Joy]

You know?

[Brian Redban]

I was right on it. Red bad. That was underrated. Red band.

[Truly Joy]

How was I supposed to know?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I'm legitimately jealous of your hair. I'm supposed to be Negative about stuff, but that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, you're absolutely incredible. What's your love life like? You seem like the kind of guy that would fuck everybody's girlfriends.

[Brian Redban]

You're living under a muff.

[Truly Joy]

Well, I do have a special person in my life.

[Brian Redban]

You're fucking a retard.

[Dave Lacy]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But.

[Truly Joy]

But like a month and a half ago, I asked her for a break because my life has been. The only thing that's going well right now, I would say, is comedy, but everything else has been.

[Brian Redban]

I'm not sure I'd say that. Sorry. You're doing great. You're doing great. I apologize.

[Dave Lacy]

So what was too stressful that you couldn't handle?

[Truly Joy]

Honestly, it was just like, she's, like, amazing. You know what I mean? And I was just like. My life was just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just.

[Truly Joy]

I was just, like, going crazy, to be honest. Like, I was like, having mental breakdowns. My living situation sucked. Like, I thought people were my friends and they were kind of like, dicking me over, and I was, like, going

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

down and I was just like, I don't know where I'm going to be. Were you on drugs?

[Truly Joy]

No, I've been sober for over a year now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But what were you on before the soberness?

[Truly Joy]

Weed and cocaine, mostly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Why'd you get sober? What made you decide to like.

[Truly Joy]

I'm glad you asked that.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you.

[Dave Lacy]

Okay.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Thank you.

[Truly Joy]

I got sober.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you. Jews are great questions.

[Truly Joy]

I got sober because I was doing shitty drugs with shitty people and having shitty experiences.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you think they felt

[Brian Redban]

you were their bottom?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They're like. They're like, dude, I did cocaine until 8am with a weeping willow last night.

[Brian Redban]

I got cheer. Regrets.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dave Lacy]

Were you sober when you hit your head or were you drinking?

[Truly Joy]

No, I was sober the last time. Like that time I talked about. Yep.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The house in Florida that you rent out for your entire living, did you inherit that from a dead grandparent?

[Truly Joy]

I did.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long ago did that happen?

[Truly Joy]

That my grandfather passed away or that I got. He died when I was. I would say, like 17 years ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you got the house how long ago?

[Truly Joy]

Over Covid.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And how much do you get a month from that?

[Truly Joy]

1800.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

Why was there such a gap between when he died, they gave you the house. Are they hoping anyone else would take

[Brian Redban]

it to his sister first?

[Truly Joy]

This is what happened. So my mom bought the house, or my dad.

[Sam Adamo]

Sorry.

[Truly Joy]

My grandfather bought the house, but also put my grandmother's name and my mom's name. So it was like, once they passed away, it was in my mom's name. And then covet happened.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're gonna go to our senior real estate correspondent, Ari Shafir on this, okay?

[Brian Redban]

So what you got to do is diversify. First of all, that's the most important thing. You could have sued your mom for neglect. Yeah. And got in that house earlier. You got it. That's the important thing. Those are. Those are assets.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Instead, all you got from your mother is her hair. All right, ladies and gentlemen, that's enough of that. Chuly Joy, ladies and gentlemen. There he goes. Way too long of an interview. What was Tony thinking? Wait a second. Wait a second.

[Cam Patterson]

Is that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hold on a second here. What the fuck? Our house drummer, Michael Gonzalez. What are you still doing in Vegas? You were supposed to go home.

[Cam Patterson]

I was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm still here. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for the full time kill Tony drummer Michael Gonzalez.

[Brian Redban]

Got him a stick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, I'm gonna be honest with you, Michael. I didn't know you were. Were still here. I don't know what's going on, but something tells me that I can't pass up on an opportunity like this. I think we should have a Mexican drama. Well, Dave Lacy, the great Dave Lacy. Wait, right, Nick Liberatory. We're gonna do a little drum solo competition and then we'll get right back to the comedy show. But this is always fun. These are two of my favorite drummers in the history of comedy. Nick, famously the drummer of the goddamn comedy Jam where we've all performed and had a shit ton of fun and it's a fucking freakin nature. Michael Gonzalez I've worked with every single week and all around the world for the last, last almost four years continuously. So let's have a look. What do you guys think? A little drum solo competition. A little drum solo from the great Nick Liberator. Wow. Holy. The great drummer of Elementop. That's E L E M E N O P Y. And now our house drummer, still in Las Vegas. Nobody knows how, nobody knows why. Just performed in front of 8,000 people on Wednesday night at the Resorts World Theater, making his Skank Fest debut with a little drum solo. It makes a noise for Michael Gonzalez. It's. Wow. Jesus. I think we all won here tonight.

[Brian Redban]

Michael fucking himself.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many you have Nick Liberatori winning that one. How many of you have Michael Gonzalez winning that one? Well, you know what that means. We'll see you back in Austin on Monday. You're still the drummer. Still the drummer of the show. Wow. How about one more time for Nick, though? Fucking stepping in we're gonna go with one of our regulars. I do believe, ladies and gentlemen. I hope he's ready. I've not been able to warn the crew, but this should be and hopefully is a brand new minute from one of the greatest regulars in the entire history of the show. Another absolute fucking shooting star. This is a brand new minute, AKA or AK riff session, if you will, from the great and powerful Cam Patterson.

[Cam Patterson]

My little sister just came out and told my dad that she was gay.

[Sam Adamo]

It worked.

[Cam Patterson]

It's on. All right, we got it back. We good? My sister just told my dad that she was gay. And my dad is not progressive. My dad is 64 years old, so he don't. He got a brother that's been gay his whole life. He's 57. My dad's a ghost. He not gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He just confused.

[Cam Patterson]

That's what he been saying the whole time. And my sister came out and told me, say, dad, I'm gonna tell you that I like girls. And my dad went, hey, I'm gonna tell you something. You've been my daughter for 18 years. I love you. I'm always gonna love you. And it doesn't change anything I feel about you, but you going to hell. And my sister said, well, see you in hell then, nigga. And then my dad said, I'm not gonna be on the gay side of hell, I'll tell you that much as if hell had two sides. I wonder if Hitler went to heaven. What if he did? The dude did kill his son. Okay, that's it.

[Brian Holtzman]

I didn't have anything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Exactly one minute from Cam Patterson.

[Cam Patterson]

Nothing, dog. I do not. This is what's up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're fantastic.

[Cam Patterson]

That was terrible. I'm gonna kill myself.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I. I told Cam that we were doing a pop up Kill Tony literally about three hours ago. So I'm mad as.

[Cam Patterson]

I'm not happy at all. Who are these? I'm mad as right now. I have got a head. I'm mad as.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Don't you.

[Cam Patterson]

I'm mad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We love you, Cam.

[Cam Patterson]

I'm angry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Everybody loves you. I've never seen you sweat.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Sweating.

[Cam Patterson]

That was terrible, dog. I like to be decent at comedy sometime that I'm. Blow my brains out,

[Hector Garcia]

huh?

[Cam Patterson]

I'm mad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I've never. You are soaking wet right now. I've never seen you swim before, but I'd imagine this is how wet you would be. This is how wet you would be if you could swim.

[Dave Lacy]

You look like me waiting for my HIV results.

[Brian Redban]

Cam is wearing his free Kill Tony shirt, by the way.

[Cam Patterson]

Hell, yo, we branded. What's up with you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I love being called that by you. It's always wonderful.

[Cam Patterson]

Can I get a napkin? Somebody give me a napkin, please.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Cam Patterson]

I just want to wipe my face. I am sweating like a.

[Brian Redban]

Use my shirt. Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Cam, how are you enjoying Vegas?

[Cam Patterson]

It's all right. I've been to strip club two nights in a row. I'm making it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I've been.

[Cam Patterson]

I've been making them do push ups in my section.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You make the strippers do push ups?

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Earn the money.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I've never heard of anything quite that diabolical before.

[Cam Patterson]

That's pretty funny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many?

[Cam Patterson]

I like it a lot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many can they do?

[Cam Patterson]

Not a lot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not.

[Cam Patterson]

Not that many, dog. And. And they can't do, like, girl push up. Need, like, real nigga push up. You know what I. And I. If you get. If you do more than 10, I give you 100 right there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Cam Patterson]

But they never get more than 10, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They never do.

[Cam Patterson]

And it's always beautiful to see.

[Dave Lacy]

Absolutely.

[Brian Redban]

You get to eight, you just throw them some rocks.

[Cam Patterson]

No, I throw pennies on them when they do three.

[Brian Redban]

Where are those pennies now, huh?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Push ups, huh? Anything else? You make them do sit ups or any. Are there any other challenges?

[Cam Patterson]

Nah, they always be like, I could do squats. No push ups, right? Push ups.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They're all working on that ass. But strippers have a weak upper body.

[Cam Patterson]

Horrible upper body. Well, no, not really. Not really because they gotta climb a pole. And so they should be good at it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They should be.

[Dave Lacy]

What's the most they've done?

[Cam Patterson]

One did 50.

[Dave Lacy]

50.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She scared me.

[Cam Patterson]

That. She scared me. I gave her. I think I gave her like, 150. I got 150 for that. Hell, yeah. I'm a good person, man. I'm supporting the horse. You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's great.

[Cam Patterson]

Having a good time, man?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

[Cam Patterson]

That minute sucked. I'm gonna kill myself.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No. No, you're not.

[Brian Redban]

No, it was actually kind of interesting. It was stuff about, like, the idea of heaven and hell.

[Cam Patterson]

Nah. I mean, yeah, it's gonna be something one day.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it will be.

[Cam Patterson]

And then I had talked about in the interview and shit, I'm mad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I loved that minute. I absolutely loved it. You're at Skankfest. They're not used to seeing these people aren't used to seeing or trying to decipher black people talking. So what you think may have been a failure really wasn't. You had the white people in the room that are used to black people laughing thing. There you are, all 14 of them.

[Cam Patterson]

12Y. That was great.

[Dave Lacy]

The family stuff was funny about your sister being gay? No, but it's got potential.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

It's disgusting what she's doing, but like.

[Cam Patterson]

Oh yeah, she going to hell.

[Dave Lacy]

Your father's right. 100.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old is this sister? She 18. 18.

[Ari Shafir]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you think she's really a lesbian?

[Cam Patterson]

Oh, no.

[Brian Redban]

You think she's faking it?

[Cam Patterson]

No, she lied. She probably. I mean, I met all her boyfriends. They all scared me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So. Yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She's in the public school system at 18, so.

[Cam Patterson]

No, she in college.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, now she's in college.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. Yeah. But yeah, she. She thought she was a lesbian while in the public school system is when she figured that out.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah, probably right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Has she ever brought any. Have you ever seen her with a girl?

[Cam Patterson]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She just told your dad she's a lesbian.

[Cam Patterson]

She like to play jokes on him.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think so.

[Brian Redban]

You think she's joking? You're hoping she's joking.

[Cam Patterson]

Oh no, I know she joking.

[Dave Lacy]

Wow.

[Cam Patterson]

Probably not though. Who knows?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're just like your dad. You think she's confused.

[Cam Patterson]

She is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why are you gay? Why are you gay?

[Cam Patterson]

Confused. They're going to hell.

[Dave Lacy]

Do you know your dad's brother, you said is gay?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, he Gay Hill.

[Dave Lacy]

Do you know him?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you.

[Brian Redban]

Do you know your dad's brother and

[Peter Angelo]

your dad, is he.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, dead. Kenny Patterson. Stand up.

[Cam Patterson]

Stand up.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Stand up.

[Cam Patterson]

Stand up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where is he?

[Peter Angelo]

No,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

where the. Kenny. Oh my God. There he is.

[Dave Lacy]

Kenny rules.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There he is.

[Brian Redban]

Kenny rules.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Let me ask him. Let me ask. Yeah.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Wait.

[Cam Patterson]

Is your brother gay?

[Dave Lacy]

Oh, is that your dad?

[Cam Patterson]

That's my dad.

[Dave Lacy]

I'm sorry, I thought you were the gay brother.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, shit.

[Cam Patterson]

Why would you do that? That just make it more gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's going along with it. He's going along with it. He's doing the right thing. Kenny Patterson's the man. He was also of course at the theater on Wednesday night backstage and indeed we had another. I had a 15 minute roast session on his feet. They are the most frightening feet you've ever seen in your life. If you really want to see the true stars of Skank Fest now that you have identified Kenny Patterson, glance at his feet. Try to get close to him. Later on in the night, get catch a fucking glimpse. It looks like literally he walked through a volcano to get here. Unbelievable. You don't know what where the ash and the. I mean it is unbelievable. I don't know when Exactly. They're going to get amputated, but it won't be much longer. My guess is February because those feet are about to be black history athletes feet. Cam, we're all family. I. You know, you gotta all these sets. You are doing something that is just absolutely inconceivable. Let me remind you guys that you know Cam more than any other regular ever in the show's history that you're used to, including one of the newest ones. Re Mac, Maddie. Cam has been doing it much, much less and moved less time by by a half a decade. And also Cam just moved to a real comedy city fucking a year or two ago. Like, I mean, you were stuck out in Florida at open mics with where David Jolly was Dave Chappelle fucking, you know, you just raised the bar recently. So people are really getting to watch you perform at an extremely high rate. The fact that you have fucking unbelievable sets that you love 95% of the time is an unbelievable batting average for someone like you. So just know that you're a legend and that everyone else isn't as good as you. There he goes. Cam Patterson, ladies and gentlemen. Star. Another person from the inside, ladies and gentlemen. Gentlemen, this is 60 seconds uninterrupted from a brand new comedian out of the bucket. Armando Hernandez, everybody. Oh my God. You gotta be. Here we go. Let's go. Oh, yeah. Make some noise for Armando Hernandez. Is this not working?

[Michael Gonzalez]

Let's get this popping.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yay. Hell yeah. Hey, give it up for my pal Justin there, man. The best guide dog that skank fest can afford. You know what I'm saying? They really pulled out all the stops there. Got me a hopper human. I tell you, man, let me get a little orientated here. I don't want to just cling on to this thing like it's my dick and I'm five years old all night. What you ain't? I've never seen a blind dude use echolocation before, you know what I mean? It's gonna get really awkward when I start trying to touch the judges faces and do some roasting, you know what I mean? I'm gonna be like, who got the humpty hump nose? Or it's gonna be like Rocky Dennis from fucking Mask. I'll be like, you're beautiful on the inside. Well, I tell you what, I often get compared to Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles and I find it to be an inaccurism mainly because there is a blind Latino that's already famous, you know, Feliz Navidad. And, you know, it's just way more accurate. You know what? Ray Charles is pretty accurate. I love to do dope and lay the pipe. That's my time, folks.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Armando Hernandez. Hell, yeah, Armando. How does it feel? You just performed at the Sphere.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Well, also, I love the fact that, you know, everybody gave me a standing ovation and the titty girl was over here flashing me, you know, how do you know? That's usually how I imagine all this going.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you know there's a titty girl?

[Michael Gonzalez]

It was mentioned by name a couple times also. Isn't it unfair? Have her, like, let me. We could do a little squeeze and say, how do you do? To one another? That could be arranged, right? I mean, Jesus Christ.

[Brian Redban]

It's only fair if you're. If you're blind. Do you feel a bomb more than people? What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you feel it?

[Michael Gonzalez]

Four senses, extra strength.

[Dave Lacy]

I thought it was going. It was a little bit of a rough set, but you really brought it home with the Jose Feliciano reference at the end. I thought that was great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it was a rough set. It was a rough set. But enough about your eyes. So, Armando, what's up? Were you born blind?

[Peter Angelo]

No.

[Michael Gonzalez]

2 Head trauma accidents occurring throughout my childhood resulting in detached retinas. I'm just lucky I can guess. God decided to hit me with the Three Stooges.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, let's go back to the head injuries. What or what exactly happened? A trampoline accident.

[Dave Lacy]

Were you just rocking really hard?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah. Did you have a really, really, really, really, really big haircut before and you couldn't see and you were running into things,

[Michael Gonzalez]

you know, just doing all them things that get your head rocked, you know? I don't know.

[Jeffrey Ross]

What.

[Michael Gonzalez]

What specifically would you like to know about it? One was a football accident.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Michael Gonzalez]

And one was at a water slide park.

[Brian Redban]

At a water slide park? You hurt your head. You detached a retina, Buddy, you got to give us more information than that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So did you. It's a now.

[Michael Gonzalez]

It's a now defunct organization. There's no litigation.

[Dave Lacy]

Ari.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hold on, hold on. Armando, no jokes at this point. We're trying to figure out the real deal here.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Oh, I was just with some, you know, kind of grimy cousins from the Bay Area, and we was running away from the security because it got up to no good in the water slide park, and I slipped, fell, hit the back of my head and had to get up and keep running with these fucking, you know, I mean, punk teenager cousins of mine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So let me ask you this. You had the football accident first, right?

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And did one retina detach then?

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yes. And that took about a year or two to, you know, get over the hump.

[Cam Patterson]

And then.

[Michael Gonzalez]

And then the same shit happened. Fucking. When I was 12.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you find out or something that you have, like a genetic retina problem or is this just an absolute insane coincidence?

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yeah, the Stanford doctors wanted to make me a guinea pig fucking exam monkey with that same thing in mind. It was kind of like, can we prove a genetic linkage to being predisposed? And I did have somebody in my family have such a detached retina and fucked up eyes that his eyeball actually, like, came out of his shit because of loss of pressure and shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So wait, you're saying that the Stanford doctors wanted to study you and you said it like you said, no, correct?

[Michael Gonzalez]

No, it's just. It was weird. And that they, you know, were unable to kind of get any direct linkage. So I was able to get a bunch of surgeries kind of like done by people who would otherwise not have interest. So they tried, you know what I mean? God bless them. But here I am, you know.

[Dave Lacy]

Can you see shapes or anything?

[Michael Gonzalez]

No. I have some light sensitivity in the right eye still. So if you, like, held up a fucking exam, you know, I might shy away, like Nosferatu or something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like a flashlight. If we put it right up to your eye, you would see it.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Yeah, yeah, it sucks because I can't see headlights till it's way too fucking late.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And if you got hit by a car, I mean, that would be insane because.

[Michael Gonzalez]

Well, I'll tell you, Tony, I have been hit by cars, but those are head injuries for another day.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Absolutely incredible. Armando, you did it. You got pulled out of the bucket. The stairway's right to your right. Go right ahead, run off. Armando Hernandez. Wow. Welcome to Skangfest, ladies and gentlemen, where, wow, detached retinas are a real thing. We have a special treat for you right now before we get back to the Bucket, A Kiltoni legend coming hot off of a set in Madison Square Garden. Make some noise for a new minute or so from the great dark, dark, dark night of late night comedy. Anything can happen. Making his return, this is the great Brian Holtzman, ladies and gentlemen.

[Brian Holtzman]

I just, you know, you think the blind guy's tripping over himself behind stage. I just want to be on a kill, Tony, where everybody's healthy. Why does there always have to be some kind of. I like my friends to be healthy, that's all. I never go anywhere without my baby oil. Room number.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Pete Diddy.

[Brian Holtzman]

You know, and in case you. In case you're traveling on the plane, you always want to have a small size as well,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

P. Diddy.

[Brian Holtzman]

I mean, do you have to fuck everyone? We all have dildos in the house, but not 1300. Your wife, sister comes over. Can I put this dildo in your ass? You know how hard it is to get your luggage back in a plane crash? You survive. I was in first class. Everybody was killed. I want my fucking bag back. It was a blue bag with a white stripe and I want my motherfucking bag back. I don't care. I want my goddamn bag back. Why do women work out in the gym? I want a girlfriend who can snap my neck. Oh, yeah, that's what I want. I want a girlfriend who can snap my fucking neck. Get the fuck out of the gym. If you come back, I'm gonna raise your. You. I'm not gonna rape anybody. I don't even have a knife. I noticed. Just killed Tony. So I have to make sure I don't repeat myself or you'll never see me fucking again. Raise your hand if you're handicapped. Do you have to keep parking in a handicap spot even when it's late at night? No, Pete. I don't go to rich people's homes. You don't go to rich people's homes. I was at a party in the Hollywood Hills once and they had a woman taking a poo on the bottom of a glass coffee table. I wanted to fit in, so I got under there and I found it quite rewarding. There was a fat chick stealing Heineken's out of the refrigerator. They tied it to a straight back chair and tortured her. Everybody lined up and took turns telling her fat jokes. Oh, one person thought that was funny. Somebody who likes fat chicks, I get. No, you've been a great audience. And I'm wearing this tonight because I got a job at Benny Hobbies. Do I get interviewed or I just leave?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you want? Yeah, we can do anything. How you feeling?

[Brian Holtzman]

I feel like. I feel like I always feel out of place and fucking fucked up in the head.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some fucking noise for Brian Holtzman. How you enjoying? All right, there goes one more time for Brian Holtzman, everybody. The great Valerie Vaughn getting us drinks tonight. Absolutely stunning. Let's have one more special treat. Come up and say hello real quick. I know for a fact that this guy just arrived, just. Just popped in to Las Vegas, Nevada. And it just so happens to be not only one of my favorite comedians of all time, not only One of my mentors. Not only one of my true best friends, but also the creator and one of the obvious main stars of the Roast of Tom Brady. Ladies and gentlemen, popping in to say hello real quick, the Rosemaster General, Jeffrey Ross.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Hi, guys.

[Brian Redban]

What's up?

[Jeffrey Ross]

Yeah, keep it going for the availables. Jesus Christ, man. Ari, you look half great job. This is great. You look half Jim Norton, half. I don't know what the fuck happened. How do I look?

[Brian Redban]

Terrible, dude, like always.

[Jeffrey Ross]

I look like Bruce Willis if his trainer also had dementia. I look like Vince Diesel if he were neither fast nor furious. But we're not here to roast me. We're here to say hi. This is fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love that you just popped in out of nowhere.

[Jeffrey Ross]

I didn't know you were doing a pop up. And when I heard I rushed out of the burrito place I was at, I came down. I had to see what hat Redban was wearing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, his best 711 shirt. So good to see you, Jeff.

[Jeffrey Ross]

This is exciting. How was Vegas this week? How was the big arena show?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was crazy. It was exhausting. It's been a wild, wild trip. And fucking Vegas has the best of me right now. But we're fucking.

[Jeffrey Ross]

I tried to get a hotel room in New York. New York, but it was sold out. So I'm staying at Newark, Newark.

[Brian Redban]

Jeff, I haven't seen you since the Garden. Since Madison. I heard you're allowed it back.

[Jeffrey Ross]

You're the one who got kicked out.

[Connor Loughran]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

This is disappointing news. It's just sinking in right now.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Ari pulled out.

[Brian Redban]

I love the Liberty. Can I not go see them?

[Jeffrey Ross]

Did anybody see Ari pull out a giant dick? Fake dick at the Garden? MSG killed Tony. Make Stand up great again.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it was unbelievable.

[Jeffrey Ross]

It's a great night.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You had a drop the mic performance. It was so cool.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Unlike tonight where I'm just fucking sweating my fucking one Tesla cloth. No, it's great.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Dave Lacy]

You're just saying hi. There's no pressure.

[Jeffrey Ross]

I know, but I didn't expect to be up here. There is a really good looking crowd. Sir, can you put your legs together, please? Your left ball's hanging out the right side.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's fun.

[Jeffrey Ross]

This is great. This looks like a fucking refugee camp. How you doing, sir? Is everything all right? It doesn't look. Your hardcore fans who come to pop up show Tony. How many people were at Tony's arena show the other day?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow, that's more than I thought. That's amazing.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Incredible. MSG when he had Joe Biden and Donald Trump at The same time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Donald Trump's coming back for real. I heard he has a savage assassination scheduled for Thursday. He's gonna do assassination attempts in all the swing states before the election. Can I hang out for the next bucket?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, let's grab another chair up here for Jeff Ross.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Thank you, everybody.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah, baby.

[Jeffrey Ross]

I love this so much. Kill Tony for life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Jeffrey Ross]

And by the way, one last thing, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Your fans, for whatever reason, they all know about Brody. I saw a lot of Brody shirts walking.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Brody Stevens fans.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, the great. The great.

[Brian Redban]

You got another mic or no?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, we got one. All right, scoot down here. People know me.

[Dave Lacy]

Wait here.

[Cam Patterson]

Go now.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, no, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's okay.

[Ari Shafir]

There you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There are a lot of Brody shirts. A fun fact about Brody T shirts. I don't know if you guys know this, but you wash them, you dry them, and they hang themselves. Positive push. So I tell Brody's.

[Jeffrey Ross]

I know it's long, but I just. I don't know why I'm in a Brody mood. You know that. Here's Brody's best joke. You know, he would talk about going to the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. You know this one? And he said there's a Nickelback tour jacket at the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. Did you know that?

[Brian Redban]

I did not.

[Jeffrey Ross]

It's in the lost and Frank, but enjoy it.

[Hector Garcia]

I don't know.

[Jeffrey Ross]

Shout out to.

[Brian Redban]

Shout out to Brody. Took the stairway to heaven.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How dare you. It's true. Brody. All of our. One of our favorite best friends ever. And, yeah, comedy's wild, man.

[Jeffrey Ross]

I like it. Great to be here at this Hurricane Katrina shelter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is a vibe. You guys still having fun? We hanging out. We're deep in this show. It's been a long show. And we have one more special treat for you, ladies and gentlemen. One more regular was able to make it here. Ladies and gentlemen, when you first saw this young man, he was living in a van, addicted to open mics. Here with a brand new mic minutes. Sing it if you know the words. This is Hans Kim.

[Hans Kim]

What's up? Love it here in Vegas. I don't know what you guys have against Oakland, but I feel bad for them. You guys took the Raiders. You guys took the A's. You guys even took the crime in hobby. Homelessness. There's nothing for black people to do in Oakland anymore. Vegas is the only place you can tell people you're a magician and they don't immediately think you're a pedophile. There's like Hogwarts for douchebags.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

Love the. Love that the Jews were blowing up those pagers in Lebanon. The Hezbollah pagers. I didn't realize that terrorists had to have pagers. What are they on call?

[Jeffrey Ross]

Hans. Did you get my text?

[Hans Kim]

Yes, I did.

[Truly Joy]

Thank you.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, I have a very liberal sister, you know. She's so liberal, she goes to adoption centers and tells the kids that they should have been aborted. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hans Kim, ladies and gentlemen. That was Hans Kim. That was Hans Kim. That was Hans Kim. That was great, Hans. I could tell you were expecting the Hogwarts for douchebags to get a bigger laugh. You kind of panicked, but it was great. You had great local fucking jokes. You wrote those on this most recent trip, I'm guessing right now. Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

I'm glad that this came up because I was going to do it on the other one, but I'm glad that

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I had that chance.

[Hector Garcia]

Thank you.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey Ross]

That's a great story.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You were going to do it on the one on Wednesday.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, some of them.

[Ari Shafir]

The magician one.

[Hans Kim]

I'm glad I didn't do that one there. It was much bigger than this.

[Dave Lacy]

I love Hans. I love you. Your jokes are fucking mean. Most of them are well written. I think you're great.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you.

[Dave Lacy]

Yeah, I enjoy a good pedophile joke. Racist joke, Oakland. I was just terrific.

[Ari Shafir]

Thank you.

[Dave Lacy]

Trying to rally them for you,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ari. It seems like you have a little

[Brian Redban]

something so bad, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really? Oh, you have to pee.

[Brian Redban]

I do. Hold on, I'm really sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, wait.

[Brian Redban]

Sorry, dude, I got a piss.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, no, wait, wait. We get in trouble every time you take your neck out.

[Brian Redban]

This ain't msg.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hold on.

[Dave Lacy]

I was kidding about wanting piss thrown on me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is desecration of the American flag

[Brian Redban]

for so fucking long.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, what is. What do they have here behind what is going on? Is this a shield of some kind?

[Brian Redban]

Hey, guys, it's Ari Shafir, habitual line stepper and Kill Tony regular. Really? From the beginning, honestly. I mean, I was there in the belly room days. The Main Room, Houston, the Vulcan, the Comedy Mothership, the LA Forum, Madison Square Garden. And now here at the greatest comedy festival in the world, Skank Fest, hosting the greatest live podcast in history, Kill Tony. And I honored it. I honored this meeting of great minds in the way that only I can do. I stepped over a line. Regrettably, YouTube will not be able to show what I did, but, man, let it be said, it was wild. It was the greatest moment in Skankfest history. Definitely the most talked about of the year by far. I had acidic Jewish friends that found out about it on their own. Not through me or anybody else. On their own. It was nuts, you guys. It was nuts. But YouTube can't show it.

[Peter Angelo]

Honestly.

[Brian Redban]

Streamers wouldn't be able to show it. TV wouldn't be able to show. The Dark Web would have a problem with it. But honestly, that should be a lesson to you. You should come to live shows. Live shows are where the craziest things happen. And I've been there for some nuts playing that. You guys haven't seen stuff that got cut out. I was there when. When David Lucas got sick of Tony's comebacks and he just got mad. I don't know, but he's tried to attack. We tried to tackle him, Tony being a wrestler, but background reversal. Pulled a single leg, used David's severe body weight against him, pulled him to the ground, pulled his pants down, and gave him what David later called the greatest butt fucking of his life. I was there. What other moment? Oh, I was there when we met Cam Patterson's real parents, a white couple that adopted him and raised him from a young boy in a small town outside Boise, Idaho. Yeah, Cam doesn't talk that way. That's an affectation he puts on. He's also into shells, not rocks. But it's good for the show, so we had to cut it out. I was not there for the Diddy episode that I heard about from lots of people and rumors and innuendo. No one will tell me exactly what happened. They just go, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. Even Tony goes, I don't want to talk about it. Release the episode, Tony. I want to see that Diddy thing. The only thing I heard from people was they go during that Diddy episode was they go, david Lucas was hungry for it. What does that mean? David Lucas was hungry for it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It.

[Brian Redban]

Damn. I don't know. Anyway, I want to even tell you was what I did, but Redbin said he. I can't. He said, even if I tell you what happened, YouTube might demonetize their account. Red was visually shaken by this. That's how great a moment it was. And what. Let's give it up for Tony for being able to put on a thing like that. Man, I stepped over a line. He set up a line that I can step over. God, he rules. Actually, I'm switching allegiances now from the Yankees to the greatest franchise kill Tony. God, I want to tell you, it was an announcement. It was an announcement that my new tour just went on sale right now. God. The Farewell Tour. I'm doing a short tour and then I'm leaving the country. Yeah. Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Vancouver, Alberta, Florida. Pittsburgh, Denver. And I'm entering in Anchorage, Alaska. They got Lake Tahoe and there a few other places. Go to arishafir.com right now for tickets, reasonably priced. I say 50 tickets at 20 bucks each for every theater I do for the poor people. It's a wild, fun show. But after that, I'm calling it the Farewell Tour because I'm leaving. I'm leaving to reflect on the style of comedy I've gotten into now. Of course my jokes are good. My last special was one of the most widely regarded specials of all time. Time. 7 million views on YouTube too. Go check it out right now. But I do a thing on podcasts where I just like to go for it. And after this one, I don't think there's anywhere left to go. I did the math. Me and Tony and Red band talked about it later. Jeff Ross wouldn't talk to me after this. He said, I. I got to be not around you for a while. Norton left immediately went to masturbate. I think the next place I can go is human sacrifice. And I don't think, think. I don't think I can do that. Also, human sacrifice is too much blood.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And

[Brian Redban]

for YouTube, if they can't show blood here, how are they going to show? Maybe I'm saying too much. So I'm gonna go walk the earth, everyone. I'm gonna do this Farewell tour. Tickets [e-mail] right now. Portland. I say Portland and then. And then I'm gonna go reflect on. On. On what I am. I think I'm done. I think I'm just going back to regular jokes. The next time you see me on Kill Tony, my dick won't come out. That's. That's hard and fast. Not. We won't cut it up. It just won't be on there. When I'm on Rogan, I'm not gonna piss in. In Bud Light bottles anymore. I'm not gonna piss in any bottle. I'm just going back to jokes. On podcasts, Stand up was always just jokes. But podcasts, I like to go for it. So, guys, let's get back to the episode. I'm going to hand it back to Ohio's probably greatest twink in history, Tony Hinchcliffe. Tony, please guide these guys into the end of the episode, and I'll let you apologize To Red Band, most of all for having to clean up my mess. Literally, for having to clean up my mess. Guys, it was such a fun moment. People were.

[Brian Holtzman]

It was wild.

[Brian Redban]

It was wild. Tony, take it. Take it away, man. It was so fun. Red man was, like, emotionally hurt by it. Red man later was like, I. I don't know what to do. Derosa said, like, he needs help. I'm Ari Shafir and I've been triggering the untriggerables since 2001. Enjoy the rest of the episode. I'll see you next time. I'm on Kill Tony. Antibiotics.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, shout out to our sponsors, if we still have sponsors. One more time for the roastmaster general, Jeffrey Ross. One more time for one of the all time greats of the show, Jim Norton. And one more time for this naughty, naughty boy, Ari Shafir, ladies and gentlemen. And one big round of applause for Brian Redban and Tony the Golden Pony. And another thank you to Elemental team Dave Lacey, Joel Ratkowski, and Nick Liberatore Skankfest. Thank you. Congratulations on being here. Love you guys. Sorry. Oh, God. This place is chaos right now. True bloody shit. Piss. This was Kill Tony at Skag Fest. Thank you. We love you. Good night, everybody. Thank you so much. It.