#760 - TIM BUTTERLY + STEVE-O

Summary

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Kill Tony #760 – Tim Butterly + Steve-O

Date: March 17, 2026
Location: Comedy Mothership, Austin, TX
Guests: Tim Butterly, Steve-O
Hosts: Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban

Episode Overview

Episode #760 of Kill Tony is a live comedy showcase where comedians both seasoned and new perform one minute sets, followed by quick-fire interviews and feedback from hosts Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban, a rotating panel of comedians, and the week’s guest stars—Tim Butterly and Steve-O. The episode features classic Kill Tony pandemonium: sharp crowd work, insane stories, audience banter, and a parade of eccentric up-and-comer comics, alongside regulars and unpredictable wild cards. The tone is rowdy, irreverent, and at times gleefully chaotic.

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Key Segments & Highlights

Intro and Guest Introductions

[02:33 - 04:08]

• Tony Hinchcliffe welcomes guest Steve-O (of "Jackass") and Tim Butterly.
• Steve-O promotes the new (possibly final) Jackass film, and Tim Butterly’s tour and upcoming special.

Notable Quotes:

• Tony: "The Crash and Burn tour is everywhere. Steve-O! ... Hell yes." [02:56]
• Chris Rogers: "I've always said Jackass and South Park are the only two things other than Kill Tony... you can always trust." [04:30]

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Regular “William Montgomery” Kicks Off the Sets

[06:45 - 17:13]

• William Montgomery opens with a run of hilarious, deadpan jokes, and heavy mom-roasting of Redban.
• Banter about Redban being signed up to be "the new Ayatollah," leading to riffing on Iranian culture, obesity, and future stand-up bits.
• William discusses his writing process (writing surrounded by Star Wars stuff), and a strange new walnut-handling obsession.
• Panel gives feedback, Steve-O playfully questions if sobriety has made William even weirder.

Notable Quotes:

• William: "RedBand, your mama was so fat, now there's an Ozempic shortage." [06:56]
• Steve-O: "I believe that you've been on the rowing machine every bit as much as you claim ... so far the joke of the night was 'growing machine.' I really enjoyed that." [15:38]

Memorable Moment:

• William’s anecdote about brushing walnuts for hours—a new, bizarre therapy.
• “Maybe I should die.” - William’s impression of his grandma, darkly humorous. [21:09]

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First Bucket Pulls: Comics Face the Panel

Comic: Chase Alexander
[17:22 - 25:59]

• Chase jokes about looking “divorced,” living with his grandma, and struggles with dating.
• Pride in “degree-worthy” women he can’t quite date; confesses to not actually having a degree-girlfriend.
• Reveals grandfather's death (pancreatic cancer), with comic panel diving in for oddball questions.

Quote:

• Tony (re: living with Grandma): “That must be hard … Where was that in your minute?” [20:19]

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Comic: Timmy D
[26:49 - 39:23]

• Set features odd logic about elephant attacks and priests, described by Tony as “Scary the Cable Guy.”
• Interview turns to Timmy's music career (ten years playing guitar, Nashville stint, played for Blake Shelton).
• Guitar performance attempt is stopped because of YouTube copyright—leads to increasingly chaotic onstage negotiation.

Quote:

• Timmy D: “When I was playing guitar for Blake Shelton for about 10 years ... there’s 6.2 million people just watching me throw my life away right now.” [34:34]

Memorable Moment:

• Failed attempt to play cover songs; Timmy insists “I wrote that song!”
• Tony: “Timmy, you’re outta here. I love you.” [39:00]

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Standout Newcomers & Regulars

Emily Wade: Boston Roots and Jellyfish Tattoos
[40:06 - 46:56]

• Strong set featuring Boston accent jokes and bedroom banter.
• Discussion of her “fear tattoo” (jellyfish) and karate black belt.
• Booked immediately for the Secret Show.

Quote:

• Emily: “No, you show me who's in charge, Daddy. I want you to pack that big Mack truck right in Havid garage...” [40:26]
• Tony: “You really are from Boston. Fuck yeah.” [42:05]

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Blake Apatow: Over-sharing & Outrageous Confessions
[47:09 - 58:05]

• Set starts with edgy immigration jokes, pivots to dark humor about a friend dying from Fentanyl.
• Interview reveals stories about awkward blowjobs received from a Tinder date in public, and later, adolescent self-experimentation.
• Blake confesses to self-sucking as a teen, jacking off with middle school best friend, and swallowing his own semen.
• Tony, Redban, and the panel are shocked, comparing his tales to “Epstein’s Island.”

Quote:

• Blake: “13-year-old boys give terrible head. God awful. Wouldn't recommend. Wow. Clip it. I'm on my Epstein.” [55:30]

Memorable Moment:

• Standing demonstration of his self-sucking “prowess” [57:10]
• Tony: “He made you come and you made him go.” [49:27]

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Michael Good: New York Comic with Relentless Material
[59:23 - 66:09]

• Baby funeral jokes, the “R word” as punchlines, and living broke in New York with wild side hustles (selling plasma & foot pics).
• Much praise from the panel, and is awarded a future spot at Kill Tony’s Madison Square Garden show.

Quote:

• Michael: “I grew up rich... just getting blown in my dad’s Range Rover, now I sell plasma and feet pics.” [62:46]

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Dedrick Flynn: Kill Tony Regular Steals the Show
[69:01 - 77:48]

• Set includes riffing on armadillos as “Mexican turtles,” and a deep dive on black families’ perpetual “low battery smoke detector beep.”
• Steve-O, D Madness, and the cast riff hard on the cultural specificity and existential frustration of batteries and beeping.

Quote:

• Dedrick: “Armadillos are just Mexican turtles... been trying to create some secret ooze to turn these niggas into Teenage Mutant Ninja Mexican Turtles.” [69:01]

Memorable Moment:

• Panel’s exploration of black/white approaches to broken smoke detectors (“We do anything to turn it off!” – Tony) [71:43]
• Dedrick’s “Black Steve-O impression.” [72:32]

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More Bucket-All-Stars and Unpredictable Interviews

Gus Swanda:
[78:46 - 86:15]

• Returns to America after 30 years in South Korea; jokes on the shifting definitions of “homeless” and “retard”.
• Tony & Chris tease Gus for his professor background, Asian ex-wife, and international miscommunications ("He was therapist in America..."—> "He was THE RAPIST in America.")

Jerrell Beeman:
[86:21 - 97:39]

• Ohio-based comic jokes about Dayton’s heroin and fat white women, low Ohio rent, and producing “Jerrell’s Will of Comedy.”
• Shares his sticker-based merch hustle and producing shows with an unpredictable “Co-host Kakaroo”.

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Golden Ticket Winner

Martin Phillips:
[98:38 - 105:18]

• Surreal, dry observational jokes (taking oral baclofen vs. anal; “let’s get squashed” with weed).
• Takes out a child’s backpack containing a voice-modding megaphone, delivers jokes as robot, ghost, and “alien”.
• Tony: “This megaphone does every voice from Epstein's Island.” [102:50]

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Final Acts & End-of-Episode Craziness

Freddie Dulesi:
[105:42 - 116:16]

• Jokes about “everything is a little racist,” Tesla’s “white power,” and being a sign language interpreter.
• Panel requests sign for “N-word,” leading to major on-stage antics.
• Sign language stories: "White people sign in public, black people sign in private."

Kendall Junior:
[117:23 - 120:14]

• Premises on black-british accents, meth heads and copper wiring, abortion “Gaza strip.”
• Tony critiques him for never finishing set-up bits.

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Grand Finale: Timmy No Breaks (Shock Collar & Gross Out Stunt)

[121:49 - 132:59]

• Timmy No Breaks straps on a dog shock collar, hands the remote to an audience member.
• Every time a joke bombs (or at random), he gets shocked.
• Attempts “taste test” with a (fake) cup of horse semen, and a “trivia for retards” bit, parodying both Jackass and Kill Tony extremes.
• Panel, Steve-O, and audience lose it in a mix of disgust, chaos, and laughter.

Quote:

• Tony (Re: Timmy’s shock collar bit): “We may have solved how to fix every blue-haired woman in America. Give them one day with a man in a shock collar.” [126:09]

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Notable Quotes (by Timestamp)

• Steve-O: "Healthier William Montgomery is somehow even more unhinged." [16:33]
• Chase Alexander: “I do mics and then I jerk off. That’s the order.” [24:51]
• Blake Apatow: “I could self suck standing up. I could just bend over…” [57:06]
• Dedrick Flynn: “I hate a battery that don’t actually want to die.” [71:00]
• Redban: “Do you ever been beat up by deaf people? They got the strongest hands you've ever seen, bro.” [113:43]

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Recurring Kill Tony Themes

• Audience Participation: Shock collar stunts, on-the-fly karaoke, and crowd banter.
• Roasting and Riffing: Comics roast each other, Redban’s weight and love life are endlessly savaged, plus endless “your mom” jokes.
• Extreme Storytelling: Comedians share grotesque or wild confessions (self-fellatio, deaths, insane family dynamics).
• Insider Comic Culture: Plenty of meta-commentary on the challenges of stand-up, career trajectories, gig misery, and DIY comedy hustle.

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Notable Episode Moments

• Steve-O’s sincere and absurd feedback; willingness to riff "black Steve-O impression" with Dedrick Flynn.
• William Montgomery’s bizarre “walnut therapy” bit.
• The reveal and demonstration of American Sign Language for the “N-word.”
• Timmy No Breaks’ end-of-show Jackass homage with a shock collar and "horse cum" bit.
• Awarding Michael Good with a slot on Kill Tony’s upcoming Madison Square Garden show.

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Episode Flow

The podcast keeps a relentless pace:

• Hosts and guests set the irreverent, manic energy from the beginning.
• Each comic gets a one-minute set, followed by interview/roast from Tony, Redban, and the panel.
• The interplay between audience, budding comics, and comedy veterans creates a dynamic, anything-goes environment typical of Kill Tony.

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Closing

The episode ends raucously, with Tony and the panel thanking Steve-O, Tim Butterly, the band, and the crowd, reminding fans to check out Kill Tony’s tour schedule and merch. After one of the most chaotically entertaining episodes yet, the panel and crowd are left howling.

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This summary is for entertainment/informational purposes and covers all major comedic and conversation highlights, not including ad reads, intros, and outros.

Transcript

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sam. Hey, this is Fred B.

[Red Band]

Coming to you live from the Comedy

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill.

[Red Band]

Tony, get a Fratona head slack.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Big front for Brian Red Band, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, my God. And how about one more time for the best damn band in all of the land. Carlos Sosa, Raul Vallejo, Fernando Castillo, Michael Gonzalez and Nachos Belgrande. Ice Officer Matt Muhling, the great John Dees on the keys and D Madness on the bas guitar. We're keeping the Ice Officer separated from our Latino, our Latino wing. This episode of the number one live podcast in the world is brought to

[Chris Rogers]

you by Tocovas and Express vpn.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How we feeling tonight, people, huh? It feels good in here. We are home at the Comedy Mothership. So many fun things going on, so

[Chris Rogers]

many announcements, so many great sponsors. Here's some of them that made this episode available for you right here, right now. You guys ready to start tonight's show or what?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Every single week, I have two of

[Chris Rogers]

the funniest human beings in the world on this show. This week, no different. One of them is one of my favorite comedians and movie stars. Truly one of the stars from what I think is the funniest movies of the past. I don't know, what would we say, three decades? The other one is Truly, who I believe is one of the top young

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

rising comedians on the world. Truly one of the funniest humans on planet earth. They both are. Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to freak out as I introduce tonight's guests. It's Steve O. And Tim Butterly. Oh, yeah, baby, yeah. And Tim Potterly. Here we go. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Hell yes. The Crash and Burn tour is everywhere. Steve O. Commie. Is the great Aaron Belial out there

[Chris Rogers]

on the road with him. Fucking unbelievable. My man.

[Steve-O]

I love Aaron Belial.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, we do too. How about a hand for the great Tim Butterly, one of the breakout stars of the past year. A recent move to Austin, Texas has made him one of my favorite guests to book. And he's on tour.

[Chris Rogers]

Timbutterly.com he's everywhere. Columbus, Dayton, Boston, Tacoma. Filming his special here May 23rd at

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the Creek in the Cave, a new 30 minute special.

[Chris Rogers]

So much fun. You guys have both been on the show numerous times before. We're so happy to have you back, Stevo, fresh off of filming the newest, what some people are saying might be the final Jackass movie of all time.

[Steve-O]

Yeah, dude, it's the fifth last movie.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Brilliant marketing. I'm gonna watch it no matter what.

[Chris Rogers]

I swear to God. The jackass. I've always said jackass and south park are the only two things other than Kill Tony in the comedy world that you can always trust and it's always there. I can put them on any time I crack up. Even the one. What's the one where it's like the deleted scenes kinda.

[Steve-O]

Oh, the point fives.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, that's the shit. Anyway, we're gonna have fun tonight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You guys have done the show numerous

[Chris Rogers]

times, Butterly and Steve O. So, you know, hundreds of people signed up with a chance, the opportunity to get on this stage. Some of them are some of the top talents in the world that know their life will change with a minute of standup comedy. Some of them completely mentally ill people that literally just want to be seen

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

for a second and realize that anyone can sign up for the show so they take full advantage of the situation. Recently we've had some stalkers on the show. We've had some people that are physical

[Chris Rogers]

threats to our, to our audience and us. They get 60 seconds uninterrupted.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know their time is up. When you hear the sound of a

[Chris Rogers]

kitten, that means they have to wrap it up then.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Or else they bring out the angry

[Chris Rogers]

West Hollywood bear which rudely interrupts them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And then I conduct an interview with them.

[Chris Rogers]

I find out if there's anything else interesting about their lives and we get to all meet them together or see them again if they've been lucky enough to be pulled before. That's about it. You guys ready to start tonight's show?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm going to pull a name now. And while we go wrangle our first pull of the night, boy do I have a treat for you. To get this show jolton from the

[Chris Rogers]

start, I present to you a guy so powerful that he's normally the closer. He's a hall of famer known for

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

having more sets on this show than any other human in the history, the 13 year history of kill Tony. Some people call him the Saratoga singer. The Memphis Strangler, the vanilla gorilla. This is the big Red machine. The one and only William Montgomery.

[William Montgomery]

Tony. I'm about to be fucking threatening violence against red bands.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Moms pussy.

[William Montgomery]

Denied. This town is not big enough for

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the both of us.

[William Montgomery]

Said two clinically obese people. And by the way, Redband, your mama was so fat. Now there's an ozempic shortage. The Reverend Jesse Jackson just died and I'm trying to figure out what he did to piss off Hillary Clinton. I asked ChatGPT to explain the concept of God in the shortest terms possible. It wrote back two words, Aphex Twin. A Texas grand jury declined to indict a man who shot and killed his daughter because she said bad things about Donald Trump. I'm no lawyer, but isn't that called justifiable homicide?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, that's my time, Tony. 57 seconds exactly from the man.

[William Montgomery]

Well, Tony, I was going to say to Redband, I actually put his job application on.

[D Madness]

Indeed.

[William Montgomery]

I actually applied you for a job today, Red Band, so you fucking owe me one, dude.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Sick.

[Chris Rogers]

Wait, what? Job application on Indeed.

[William Montgomery]

On.

[D Madness]

Indeed.

[Steve-O]

Yes.

[William Montgomery]

I signed him up to be the new Ayatollah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa. I don't know anything about it. Indeed. But I'll tell you this. You should put it on ZipRecruiter, an official sponsor of Kill Tony. Use the promo code, Kiltonian.

[Chris Rogers]

You get a month free.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I do believe.

[Heidi]

I love ZipRecruiter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, we love ZipRecruiter and Redbin.

[William Montgomery]

You're about to love Iran because you're about to be ruling Iran for a little bit. And it was on ZipRecruiter.com you are applied now for the Ayatollah Supreme Leader of Iran. So, Red, get ready, dumbass. You're really going to have to lose weight over there, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my goodness.

[William Montgomery]

When you're riding on your motherfucking camels,

[D Madness]

man, your ass going to get to lose away.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The Supreme Leader, ladies and gentlemen.

[Heidi]

Did your mom write that joke?

[Jerrell Beeman]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Red Band knows how to bring the crowd to a screeching halt there. All the momentum and laughter and then just redband.

[William Montgomery]

No, but your mom did.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Pussy.

[William Montgomery]

Oh, last night. Okay, yeah, stop. That wasn't good. That was not a good exchange.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Chris Rogers]

I love it. So you signed him up to be the new Ayatollah?

[Steve-O]

I did.

[William Montgomery]

I did. I said he's really good at computer stuff. He's going to be able to help y' all with all of yalls, yalls, search engines and computer stuff. And he's just really. I said he's basically a tech wizard. He's going to be able to really help y' all with that. He's cool with having a bunch of different wives because he has a bunch of different wives in America. I told him about that. He's already going to be cool with having a bunch of different wives. They have to be Asian women. He needs a bunch of Asian wives over in our Iran when he's the ayatollah so, Red Band, we'll see what happens. Just please let me come over there. If you become the Supreme Leader, that'll

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

be the first time you'll be able

[Chris Rogers]

to ever say that I ran from you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because you've never. You've never ran before. The Ayatollah. Breads and rollers.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, that's what you're going to be eating every night for dinner. Hey, can I have some more breads and rolos, please?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're gonna be. You're gonna be the burrito. Supreme Leader.

[Chris Rogers]

Sick, funny, Red Band.

[William Montgomery]

You need to get on the rowing machine, my friend. So we can add some years to your life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's been on the Growing Machine. I don't know if you've seen that. He does a thing. It's on his recliner. It's called the Growing Machine.

[Chris Rogers]

He does a lot of this instead of that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you're a big. You're a big little boy, ain't you? But it's okay. He put a splash of Gatorade, his vodka soda. So he's super healthy.

[William Montgomery]

I remember one time in high school, Tony, I drank a bunch of vodka Gatorade cuz I always heard it could make you drunker. And I got wasted that night and ended up driving back to my parents house and I crashed into their brick wall. And I wake up the next day to my mother screaming. It's everywhere. She was in the bathroom. I'd vomited everywhere and forgotten about it. So Redband, be careful tonight since you're drinking vodka Gatorade.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can't believe. Let me just say it's like you're

[William Montgomery]

a high schooler or something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Drinking and driving is not safe to do. We do not condone that.

[Chris Rogers]

And if your life has gotten to that point, may I suggest going to betterhelp.com using the promo code Kill Tony

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

and talking with someone.

[Chris Rogers]

Within 30 minutes you could be talking to a licensed professional from anywhere in the world.

[William Montgomery]

They sure help me, Tony, so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What you laughed at that.

[Chris Rogers]

He loves it. No, they helped William. Yep, that was a good set. William, you had only three jokes about Red Band's mom.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

An Apex twin reference.

[Chris Rogers]

This town is not big enough for the two of us. And I loved the Jesse Jackson Hillary Clinton joke.

[William Montgomery]

Thank you. I know that happened about three weeks ago, Tony under suspicious circumstances. He found that fell out of his office building in Atlanta.

[Chris Rogers]

Wait, he did?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

Jesse Jackson fell out of his office building in Atlanta. And people really are saying it's a connection with Hillary?

[Chris Rogers]

I did. I don't think that's how he died?

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, no, he got pushed out of his office building in Atlanta, Georgia.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tony.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, my God. My goodness gracious.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, no, I found this website where people are talking all about it and I've been on it non stop. And also redbay. And by the way, I told that weird stalker guy about your mom. He's about to be stalking your fucking mom. I'm serious. You need to change the locks at your house. I'm not kidding. Redband, he's after your mom.

[Blake Apatow]

Next.

[Chris Rogers]

You've been going to a. You've been going to a website where you find out all this information?

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, Jesse Jackson, he fell out of this high rise building in Atlanta.

[Chris Rogers]

I just hope you're using your browser properly. The best way to do it is to use svpn.com you enter the promo code, kill Tony. This way people can't see what you've been. This guy's nodding along. He knows he uses a vpn.

[Heidi]

It's nice. I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's very nice.

[Chris Rogers]

The VPN is so nice.

[Tim Butterly]

This guy pushes VPNs to their limit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Yeah, he does steam coming out of it. He goes deep into the dark web.

[William Montgomery]

He literally looks like Red Band's wife on VR. That's what Red Band's wife on VR looks like, this guy.

[Heidi]

And you know, speaking of VR, gyms can regrow your hair by using this topical solution. It's great for your forehead.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Okay.

[William Montgomery]

Maybe next time try not to mess it up at the beginning.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go. Yeah, it's really bad. Maybe let's hear some sound.

[Chris Rogers]

Let's hear some of those wacky sound effects, Red Band. Anyway, so tell us about your process, your writing process for this set this week. Where do you write most of your jokes? William, where are you when in this.

[William Montgomery]

I was.

[Chris Rogers]

Brilliant stuff comes into your head.

[William Montgomery]

I am in my little office that I've created Tony, and has a lot of Star wars stuff in there. And yeah, I was in there and I was thinking, okay, Red Band's mom, she does look pretty good. She's not that fat. She lost some weight. Normally people say, your mom is so fat. I was thinking, okay, if you could do the past tense to it, that would be funny. Why would it be that? Because she lost a bunch of weight. Because it was a big. And then I was literally just thinking about his fucking mom the rest of the. But yet, Tony, I sit in there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Just a random noise for no reason whatsoever.

[Chris Rogers]

You know what, Redband, pick up the mic.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why don't you just jump in anytime you want. No, I'm kidding. Go back to the sound. Yeah. Okay.

[William Montgomery]

And then Ozempic had my mind thinking, okay, something about fat people. Then I was thinking, for whatever reason, oh, old, old Western kind of say, this town isn't, isn't big enough for the big. The both of us. Okay, who would say that? Oh, yeah, a fat person. So thinking, okay, we got two fat people jokes right here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfect.

[Chris Rogers]

What else did you do this week? What are you passionate about in life right now?

[William Montgomery]

Well, Tony, I mean, I've been. I did 200 miles on the rowing machine in February. Okay, but that doesn't matter. But, no, but, Tony, I've been put doing these walnuts in my hand. This random subreddit came on my computer called Win Juan walnuts. And Tony, I've been doing it. My hands are already really sweaty, and I just sit in my little desk and I put them, roll them in my hands, and then I brush them like they're little pets for, I don't know, an hour or two at a time. And then I'm slowly seeing this color change. And Tony, I've literally been doing that. You've been brushing all hours at a time?

[D Madness]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

Brushing walnuts.

[Chris Rogers]

Do you love brushing walnuts, Tony?

[William Montgomery]

It's like one of the best things.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Red pan does not look impressed whatsoever.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, he doesn't like it. Did you look up a picture? Oh, they're really wonderful. And they feel good in your hand. They're. We really enjoyed it.

[Chris Rogers]

I don't think we need to look up a picture.

[William Montgomery]

No.

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[William Montgomery]

It's a walnut. It's just like a walnut.

[Chris Rogers]

Wow. Guys, any parting words for William Montgomery? Steve O. You've seen William a few times.

[D Madness]

I have.

[Steve-O]

I think you look particularly healthy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

That is true.

[Steve-O]

I, I, I believe, I believe that you've been on the rowing machine every bit as much as you claim. And I think so far, the joke of the night was growing machine. I really enjoyed that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you. Red band makes it very easy by being a disgust monster.

[Chris Rogers]

Gives me, Gives me enough to make fun of.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He really does his job.

[Chris Rogers]

Look at him. Look at what a little cutie pie.

[Tim Butterly]

Wait, so the walnuts are changing color?

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, they're changing color. They change from a kind of a beige color to this very dark red color, and that takes a couple of years. So I'm gonna have to be handling these walnuts for years at a time. But I'm up for the challenge. I'm up for the task.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Wow.

[Chris Rogers]

Up for the challenge.

[William Montgomery]

Up for the task. And I do it, I don't know, four hours a day now. But it's nice. It keeps my hands literally busy. Tony.

[Jerrell Beeman]

It's good.

[William Montgomery]

I'm not looking up porn. I'm not doing anything bad. I'm just messing with the walnuts.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay.

[William Montgomery]

Seriously, Steve O. I'm trying to figure

[Steve-O]

out if you healthier is even more unhinged.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

[William Montgomery]

I don't know.

[D Madness]

But I like it. I like it.

[Steve-O]

Don't change.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you.

[Tim Butterly]

What do you do with your mind when your hands are occupied with the nuts?

[William Montgomery]

Thinking about stuff. I mean, again, I was thinking about Red Band's mom. Fucking losing weight. Fucking.

[Heidi]

When he used to drink, Drink and say all this crazy. It made sense because we're like, oh, that crazy drunk guy on all the drunk.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, he's sober.

[Heidi]

It's just weird, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It really is.

[Chris Rogers]

He's healthier than ever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And it.

[Chris Rogers]

He's just. He's up for the challenge.

[William Montgomery]

He's up for the task. Up for the challenge.

[Timmy D]

Tony.

[Chris Rogers]

William, everybody loves you. We love you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How about one more time for William Montgomery? He got the show started. Tonight. We're off and running, and on to

[Chris Rogers]

the bucket we go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This. This is where the magic happens. This is where every single person that's ever been on this show comes from. It's very exciting. We're going to meet your first bucket pole at once. Goes by the name of Chase Alexander, everybody. Your first bucket pool of the night is Chase

[Chase Alexander]

Mothership.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How we doing?

[Chase Alexander]

I'm not doing good, guys. People say up shit to me all the time, man. Someone said, I look divorced. I'm 30. All right? Another person said I look like Will Smith is my favorite rapper. And then someone else said, I look like a substitute that just got out of prison. I'm like, all right, that's three insults. There's two people in this group chat. This is why I never asked my parents for shit anyways, you know, like, I'm going on a date. I'm trying to send the selfie. How do I look in this shirt? This is what they fucking say to me. But I go on the date, and I'm getting fatter. I'm trying to articulate that in my profiles, right? So, like, every photo, I get, like, a little bit fatter. And, like, the current one is like, what I am now. But I go on this date, the chick's looking at the phone, looking at me, and she's like, you look like a Russian doll that ate all the other versions of yourself.

[Chris Rogers]

And I'm like, are you in that

[Chase Alexander]

fucking group chat with my parents? Because, like, that is just too fucking good. But I am seeing a chick right now, believe it or not. And I feel like I really get the best of both worlds with her because she's got a master's degree and a dui. Guys, I've been Chase Alexander. That's my time. Thank you so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ch.

[Chris Rogers]

Alexander, welcome.

[Gus Swanda]

Welcome.

[Chase Alexander]

Thank you.

[Chris Rogers]

Have you been on this show before?

[Chase Alexander]

I have not, no.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay. Welcome. How long you been doing standup?

[Chase Alexander]

Three years.

[Steve-O]

Where at?

[Chase Alexander]

San Diego.

[Chris Rogers]

That's where you live now? Yeah. Okay. What do you do for work?

[Chase Alexander]

I got a boring tech job, and then I work at a comedy club at night and do hosting and just.

[Chris Rogers]

What comedy club?

[Chase Alexander]

American Comedy Company.

[Chris Rogers]

Nice. Yeah. Red band's gonna be there in the month.

[Chase Alexander]

Hell, yeah.

[Heidi]

Ninth through 11th.

[Chase Alexander]

I'll keep all the homeless out on the door, guy. So.

[Chris Rogers]

So there you go. Some of those San Diego homeless people, it's hard.

[Chase Alexander]

They're everywhere. You guys know Austin knows?

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay. So you're with a girl that has a master's degree and a dui.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that true?

[Chase Alexander]

I misunderstood. It's a nursing degree. I thought she said she was a doctor, so. Yeah. That's not true.

[Chris Rogers]

No, but your girlfriend has a degree.

[Chase Alexander]

No, she's. I'm not dating her either. She's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, not real, everybody.

[Chase Alexander]

No, no, no. I tried to make it last, but, you know, I really did want someone with a degree.

[Chris Rogers]

How long?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a requirement for you?

[Freddie Dulesi]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, clearly.

[Chase Alexander]

Look at me. I'm degree worthy, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How tall are you?

[Chase Alexander]

Five, eight and a half.

[Tim Butterly]

I would take a diploma, a high

[Timmy D]

school diploma, if I was.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah.

[Chase Alexander]

Hey, I'm trying to shoot for the stars, you know?

[Steve-O]

So are you dating anyone at all?

[Chase Alexander]

No, I'm not dating anyone right now.

[Gus Swanda]

Okay.

[Chase Alexander]

I'm living with my grandma, so It's. It's hard to get pussy when you live with your grandma. Yeah.

[Steve-O]

Where was that in your minute?

[Chase Alexander]

I had a little more about her. You know, she's Jewish and just doesn't shut up about it, so that's pretty annoying sometimes, but hadn't gotten to it yet.

[Chris Rogers]

Are you Jewish?

[Chase Alexander]

Not technically, because she's my dad's mom and it's like the mom side, I guess.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Chase Alexander]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is living with your grandma actually?

[Chris Rogers]

Like, do you see her first thing in the morning when you wake up?

[Martin Phillips]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Does she make you breakfast?

[Chase Alexander]

No, she. I just try to avoid her as Much as I can. Cause she gives me anxiety. And I work at home, so I'm, like, trapped with her, you know?

[Chris Rogers]

Exactly. What does she do that gives you anxiety? Tell us. Like, the worst parts of living with your grandma. Just spill the beans.

[Tim Butterly]

Why don't you go out and get some pussy?

[Chris Rogers]

Why?

[Red Band]

You're in the house all the time.

[Chase Alexander]

That's a part of it, I guess. Just, like, constant panic attacks that, like, I have to deal with.

[Gus Swanda]

With.

[Chase Alexander]

And then she's like, maybe I should die. And I'm like, all right. Like, I can't deal with this. I'm not qualified. So it's a little stressful, you know?

[Chris Rogers]

How long have you lived with your grandma?

[Chase Alexander]

Like, six months.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay.

[Chase Alexander]

Yeah, it's pretty new.

[Chris Rogers]

What made you move in with her?

[Chase Alexander]

Grandpa died. Oh.

[Chris Rogers]

How did grandpa die?

[Chase Alexander]

He just got cancer. I think she honestly killed him because he did not want treatment. He was like, I'm good to die. Let me go.

[Chris Rogers]

What kind of cancer did he have?

[Chase Alexander]

Have pancreatic.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Works every time. Get that pancreatic party started.

[D Madness]

Yeah.

[Steve-O]

Now, when somebody has a job in tech, you don't imagine they're living with their grandma. What do you do in tech?

[Chase Alexander]

I work with cities to help modernize their transit stuff.

[Heidi]

You're degree worthy, man.

[Michael Good]

Thank you.

[Blake Apatow]

Thank you.

[Chris Rogers]

Have you ever been with a girl that has a degree?

[Chase Alexander]

I mean, probably not, but I'm not, you know, I just started looking for the degree women, so, you know.

[Steve-O]

Have you ever been with a girl?

[D Madness]

I have.

[Chase Alexander]

I have. Thank you. Thank you. One or two.

[Kendall Junior]

You know.

[Steve-O]

Is Will Smith your favorite rapper?

[Chase Alexander]

No, but people say I look like someone who would be like that, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right? Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Steve-O]

I like you.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Thank you.

[Chase Alexander]

Thank you. I like you, too, Steve O.

[Chris Rogers]

Thank you. Have you ever tried to take a girl back to your grandma's house?

[Chase Alexander]

No. But here I think I could because my grandma's room is far away. It's got her own bathroom, and I could close the doors. And the doctor has upped her nighttime.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Lyrica.

[Chris Rogers]

Ooh, Lyrica.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes. What is that?

[Chris Rogers]

Stay at home black nurse.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Lyrica Jenkins University Alabama linebacker.

[Emily Wade]

I wish.

[Chase Alexander]

I need Lyrica in my life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's right. Bad news, Lyrica. There's not a Lyrica in the world that has a degree. Buddy, where are you?

[Chase Alexander]

Lyrica, you don't even.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They don't even have degree. The deodorant.

[Blake Apatow]

Oh, great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, come on. What are you talking about? What is it? What exactly is he implying there?

[Chris Rogers]

Art D. Madness is laughing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ds is laughing. We're good. All right, Chase Alexander, before I get

[Chris Rogers]

you out of here, tell us what is the most interesting thing about your entire life's history? What's something crazy that you've been part of? Maybe an award that you won. Maybe a special skill or talent that you have that you excel at? Something like that. There must be something in which out of your entire life. There we go. What is it?

[Chase Alexander]

People really think my earlobes are soft.

[Chris Rogers]

Really?

[Chase Alexander]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Come over here.

[Red Band]

Oh, no.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You fell into Tony's trap.

[Chris Rogers]

No, those are normal earlobes.

[Tim Butterly]

Oh, no, you fell into his trap.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

People have been lying to me.

[Chase Alexander]

I thought everyone told me they're soft. You know, that was. That was kind of my thing, and I guess I don't have a thing now, you know?

[Tim Butterly]

Has anyone besides grandma told you this

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

red man has softer earlobes than you do?

[Chase Alexander]

Well, he's probably got a lot of lotion on him. He's a moisturized man. You know,

[Heidi]

rumors about me.

[Chris Rogers]

It's a crazy, amazing. Well, Chase, since the most interesting thing about you is your very normal earlobes, is there anything else? You don't have any hobbies or anything like that? There's nothing that you're passionate about in life. You just do your tech job, fucking wait for grandma to fall asleep and then jerk off and do it again the next day.

[Chase Alexander]

I do mics and then I jerk off.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Chase Alexander]

That's the order. But no, I mean, yeah, no, I don't got. I don't know. I'm. Yeah, I've got shit.

[Timmy D]

I just. Work.

[Tim Butterly]

Ever catch you or anything?

[Chase Alexander]

She doesn't really see more than like 10ft out, so I'm pretty good if I just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So sometimes. Sometimes you just do it in the same room. Just across.

[Chase Alexander]

I could get away with like a real dim light.

[Freddie Dulesi]

I could.

[Chase Alexander]

I could do dirty.

[Chris Rogers]

Wow.

[Tim Butterly]

Imagine this all from the grandmother's perspective. Perspective. By the way, your husband died. You're waiting for the end. Yourself and your incel. Grandson.

[Michael Good]

Brutal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dude.

[Tim Butterly]

Doesn't own any guns.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Do you

[Freddie Dulesi]

maybe.

[Chris Rogers]

No, don't do that. No killing yourself. At least not until six months after

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

this episode airs so that we don't get blamed for.

[Chris Rogers]

Perfect. Perfect. Now, Chase, fun times. You've been doing it three years, you're out there hustling in San Diego. Sign up again next time. Keep up the good work. And here's a medium sized joke book for you, Chase.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There goes Chase Alexander. And the bucket has begun, ladies and gentlemen. You see what it is. Anything can happen. That young. That young buck. Oh, it's Heidi and Val, everybody. What a special treat. What did we miss there?

[Chris Rogers]

What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What just happened? They kissed. Oh, my God. Wow. Chase Alexander's earlobes just got hard. All right, everybody, your next bucket poll. Looks like another new name. Goes by the name of Timmy D. Timmy D. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, this party's just make some noise for Timmy D, everybody. First try,

[Timmy D]

Tony. Somebody told me back there the shirt looks is racist. I'll tell you what's racist, is elephants. You never hear any white people getting killed by an elephant. How much do you got to be not paying attention to get killed by an elephant?

[Steve-O]

Elephant.

[Timmy D]

I'd be like, hey, look, y', all, here comes the elephant.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ole.

[Timmy D]

Anyways, worst part about getting killed by elephant is you is you're laying there and I'm going. I'm going blank. You're like, well, well, I've been killed by elephant. And it's exactly the opposite of what you thought it would be like when you died. You're surrounded by. Surrounded by loved ones, candles, and a priest trying to put his cock in your mouth. And you're like, hey, man, I'm dying over here. He goes, and the priest is like, that's what makes it extra dirty. So you're laying here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. You reach your time limit one more time for Timmy D, everybody.

[Timmy D]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Or as I call them, Scary the Cable Guy.

[Timmy D]

I'll take that.

[Freddie Dulesi]

I'll take that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Timmy. Welcome, welcome.

[Timmy D]

Surreal.

[Chris Rogers]

Tony, I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Look at you. You are just a dream bucket.

[Chris Rogers]

Pool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I cannot wait to find out all about you. The last guy was giving me nothing. That pussy lived with his grandma. Doesn't do anything. I feel like you have fucking bodies buried in the backyard. You know what I'm saying? Anybody that steps foot in your yards,

[Timmy D]

carcasses in the backyard. Oh, yeah, mostly deer and stuff like that.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay, very good. Timmy, how long you been doing stand up?

[Timmy D]

Off and on for about 10 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Chris Rogers]

All of it Here in Texas?

[Timmy D]

No, I was. I went to la.

[Chris Rogers]

You went to la?

[Timmy D]

I did. The first time I ever did it, I got up at the Ice House in Pasadena.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many gay men got slaughtered in LA when you.

[Timmy D]

I got the out of it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah, I do.

[Timmy D]

Like somebody would slaughter a gay guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Timmy D]

I'm learning a lot about myself tonight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're learning a lot that a mirror could have taught you.

[Timmy D]

This is just. I decided this is what I'm doing. You know, you just make a decision. This is what I'm fucking Do you like my boots?

[Chris Rogers]

It's great. It's great. It's great. Timmy, get back up to the mic. It's a wise choice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Camouflage.

[Chris Rogers]

People are wondering what the floating arms

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

are doing out there blending into 6th

[Chris Rogers]

street tonight Timmy, how old are you?

[Timmy D]

63.

[Chris Rogers]

Really? Damn, you look great for 63, buddy.

[Timmy D]

I just had a little boy at 60.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You had a little boy?

[Timmy D]

I have a little boy that's three years old. Turned three years old in January.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, my goodness gracious. Is he healthy and everything? Is he okay?

[Timmy D]

Is he healthy? Yeah, he's kicked me in the balls about 75 times in the last three years, so, yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Perfect, perfect.

[Timmy D]

He's doing good.

[Chris Rogers]

What have you been doing for work your whole life, Timmy?

[Timmy D]

I'm a guitar player, songwriter, engineer, producer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, look at you.

[Chris Rogers]

Guitar player. How long you been playing guitar for?

[Timmy D]

Since I was 6.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Chris Rogers]

And you've been doing that for a living? You made all your money for the last.

[Timmy D]

Well, I was a carpet installer for years, and then I moved to Nashville, and then I picked up enough work on Broadway.

[Chris Rogers]

How old were you when you moved to Nashville?

[Timmy D]

2002. I moved there and then my wife and I had a baby and her family's from Wisconsin and she just wanted to live up there for a while. I just sold that house and I'm moving back to Nashville in April.

[Chris Rogers]

So how many kids do you have total?

[Timmy D]

One that I know about.

[Chris Rogers]

Well, you said you had one when you were in Nashville.

[Timmy D]

160. Yeah, I just had.

[Chris Rogers]

And then you had a.

[Timmy D]

You lost me, Tony.

[Chris Rogers]

And then. Then you have a.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then you have a three year old.

[Timmy D]

I have a three year old. That's all I got.

[Chris Rogers]

That's all you got?

[Timmy D]

I turned 60. I had.

[Michael Good]

Got it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is this planned, by the way?

[Timmy D]

What's that?

[Tim Butterly]

Having a baby at 60?

[Timmy D]

What was the question?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, this is a lot, man.

[Timmy D]

I haven't been on a stage in,

[Tim Butterly]

like, say, planned pregnancy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old's the lady you got pregnant?

[Timmy D]

She's going to be 39 in March.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Damn, look at you.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's go, big dog. Look at you.

[Red Band]

This.

[Chris Rogers]

Listen, did she know that she was getting by you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Or did she Did. Or was the camouflage throwing her off? She thought. She thought her dildo had a mind of its own that night. This dildo, the dildo, me.

[Chris Rogers]

And it was trying to tell me

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

jokes the whole time. Talking. Wouldn't shut up about elephants. For some reason, I thought that I

[Timmy D]

wrote that bit just to do this.

[Chris Rogers]

I love it, dude.

[Heidi]

I did.

[Timmy D]

It's one. It was a minute and five seconds. But I missed some stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So. Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Wow.

[Timmy D]

Apparently took me longer to tell it.

[Chris Rogers]

Sure. Yeah.

[Kendall Junior]

Absolutely.

[Timmy D]

Anyways. So.

[Chris Rogers]

Huh. It's okay. I'll ask you a question.

[Timmy D]

Come on.

[D Madness]

Yeah.

[Timmy D]

Don't lose me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. I'm not. We're not losing you, Timmy. I'm very good at this job. And you're exactly the type of person

[Timmy D]

I watch every week. And that's what I do in my spare time. I watch this show and have anxiety attacks because I knew I was going to be here. I knew I was. I just got here last week.

[Michael Good]

Week.

[Timmy D]

And I came here and signed up today and here I knew this was going to happen.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Okay.

[Gus Swanda]

I did.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I knew it. Knew it.

[Chris Rogers]

Hey, I get it, dude. Intuition is strong. I love it. So I'm going to go back to Tim's. Very good question. You had a baby three years ago.

[Timmy D]

My wife did.

[William Montgomery]

Right.

[Chris Rogers]

But were you guys planning.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You fucking idiot. Yeah, I was way confused. He spent enough time in LA to where he might have a pussy. So Timmy, was it the plan?

[Chris Rogers]

Were you like, I'm gonna.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's have a baby.

[Timmy D]

I was in Florida. I was fishing and I came in from fishing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You caught a baby while fishing?

[Timmy D]

Yeah. And I came in from fishing. She's like, I'm pregnant. I'm like, awesome, awesome. No, it's been great. I almost missed it. You don't do it. You don't want to miss that. You almost missed it.

[Chris Rogers]

You almost missed what?

[Timmy D]

Having, having children.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, the birth.

[Timmy D]

It's unbelievable.

[Chris Rogers]

Tell us about it. Is that how you dressed?

[Timmy D]

He wears camo?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did the kid try to call crawl back into the when he saw you? Wow.

[Timmy D]

That's a little dark. Tony, come on. My wife's watching this. I think.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you think being.

[Tim Butterly]

Not being a new father, do you think you're going to start to like, get your act together?

[Timmy D]

Well, I don't have a job.

[Chase Alexander]

I don't.

[Timmy D]

I, I, I hustle. I hustle acoustic gigs and.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay.

[Timmy D]

Do some engineering, some session work. And Tony, bro, you better get good

[Tim Butterly]

at making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or something. That is going to leave you.

[Timmy D]

Tony, will you do me a favor?

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Timmy D]

Will you ask me about the low point in my musical career?

[Chris Rogers]

Sure. There you go. What's the, what's the low point in your musical career?

[Timmy D]

When I was playing guitar for Blake sheldon for about 10 years.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay. Is that it?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're just, you're just taking shot at a guy that.

[Timmy D]

It was not good, Tony.

[Chris Rogers]

Why was it not good?

[Timmy D]

I mean, I was throwing my life away.

[Chris Rogers]

Would you like to expand on that at all?

[Timmy D]

Well, the low part, the low point, we did Good morning America and like, 6.2 million people watch that show and.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, that's what they said.

[Timmy D]

And I was standing there, no way. That song. Some beach. And I was thinking to myself, there's 6.2 million people just watching me throw my life away right now. That's. Listen, can you guys play any Blake Shelton songs?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, we can't.

[Timmy D]

No. You can't play any? No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, that's a YouTube copyright.

[Chris Rogers]

Are you just taking shots of Blake

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Shelton, the guy that paid you for 10 years?

[Timmy D]

The whole reason I'm here.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay, well, that's good. No, it's not the whole reason we don't like it.

[Timmy D]

I thought it would be interesting.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's not, but I will let you play a guitar. Heidi, are you back there? You have the house guitar. Is that thing tuned? We keep it tuned.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay. We keep it tuned.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Heidi. There she is, everybody. The lovely Heidi. We got a cord for that. We know what we're doing here.

[Chris Rogers]

Is there anything to drink? What the do you think this is, dude? Michael, hand him that.

[Timmy D]

This. This is like a dream right here, people.

[Chris Rogers]

Crack it open for him. Michael, open.

[Timmy D]

I need a pit. They took all my. And made me put it in that bucket back there.

[Chris Rogers]

There you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Take a sip of that.

[Timmy D]

Here's to all the lesbians.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just take a sip of the water. Jesus Christ almighty. Take a sip of the water. This is taking way too long. I see why Blake Shelton fired your ass. Very good, red band. It's a great mouth noise that we needed.

[Timmy D]

I need a picture pick.

[Chris Rogers]

Awesome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You need a pick?

[Chris Rogers]

What else do you need?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A.

[Chris Rogers]

Some lyrics and talent. Let's go, dude. Let's go. Come on. You just hit d madness in the head with your guitar. Get up there.

[Timmy D]

You guys going to play with me?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just play for a little bit. They'll join in. Jesus Christ. It's gotta be an original song.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Chris Rogers]

Timmy. Timmy, look at me. Timmy, you have to play an original song. You can't cover something, okay? YouTube's got wacky rules and they'll give all the money to Blake Shelton if you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You play his music on the show.

[Chris Rogers]

Well, I mean, it literally can't be

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the same chords and sound as anything else. You've been playing guitar for six years.

[Chris Rogers]

You don't have one fucking original song.

[Timmy D]

I have a cut on Blake.

[Steve-O]

You said you're a songwriter.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, I do.

[Timmy D]

You cut one of my songs I played guitar on that record, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you have anything that isn't a

[Chris Rogers]

famous song or a published song at all?

[Timmy D]

It was supposed to be the next single off the purebs record, and I got fired. And then I didn't get my song singled and it cost me about a million.

[Steve-O]

Can you do a solo? Just really rip it?

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, just. Just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just destroy on guitar.

[Timmy D]

Campfire burning on a Mississippi riverbank

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My

[Timmy D]

own pickup speakers are cranking out a lot of Hank. This sheriff's daughter dancing on my hood with an empty bottle this can't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. I've now been informed that he is indeed covering someone else's song.

[Timmy D]

I wrote that song.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you mean you wrote it? I wrote that.

[Chris Rogers]

But it's. But it's out there by somebody else.

[Timmy D]

It's. It's a cut on a Blake Shelton record, and I.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Jesus Christ, Timmy.

[Chris Rogers]

Do you not listen at all?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. Was your parents 60 when they had you? Red bat. Wait, what's your sound when you do a good one?

[Chris Rogers]

No, you had that one sound that we play.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's been so long since you made a good joke that we literally. Oh, there it is. It's this one, right? Red band with a joke that made the whole room laugh at once.

[Chris Rogers]

Timmy, we appreciate your.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your approach.

[Chris Rogers]

We're going to have to edit that one part out where you play the

[Timmy D]

song because it literally the publishing on that song. I'll pay you to leave it in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't believe you. I don't believe Google.

[Timmy D]

This can't be good by Blake Shown writer. It says Timmy d'. Armes. I swear to God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Timmy, you're out of here. I love you.

[Chris Rogers]

Good job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here. It's good enough for a big joke book. I'll tell you that. Entertaining interview. There he goes. There he goes. There he goes. There he go. There he goes. Timmy, go. There he goes. Okay, fucking go. Jesus fucking Christ. Back to Nashville you go.

[Steve-O]

Tony. I don't mean to be like, paranoid or anything, but he really violated that microphone while he was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, it was unbelievable. His nose, his lips. You guys couldn't see from where you were. But his entire face is a little

[Steve-O]

worried about whoever talks into it next.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, they're.

[Steve-O]

Maybe we can switch it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, they're going to get some. They're going to get some. Her Nashville herpes from the 1960s. All right, your next comedian, ladies and gentlemen. She's been on this show before. Funny young lady, goes by the name of Emily Wade, everybody. Here we go.

[Emily Wade]

I'm from Boston. You can't really hear it from my accent unless I say certain words like back or khakis or suck my fucking dick, bitch. You know the classics. My guy friend heard my accent once, and he was like, emily, I think it's kind of hot that you have a Boston accent. Do you use it in the bedroom? I was like, what the fuck do you think I do in there? I'm just, like, had it faster. No, you show me who's in charge, Daddy. I want you to pack that big Mack truck right in Havid garage or whatever. Caddy B says, I was having sex recently, though, and he was hitting it from the back, and out of nowhere, I just turn and go, Use me like a fucking fleshlight. Sex stops immediately. Nothing will get you softer than Mark Wahlberg's voice coming out of my body. Thank you guys so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Emily, wait.

[D Madness]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Unbelievable. That was fantastic.

[Chris Rogers]

You've been on the show before, but that was your best set yet, for sure.

[Emily Wade]

Thank you.

[Chris Rogers]

Welcome, welcome. Remind everybody, how long you been on standup?

[Emily Wade]

Coming up on three years now.

[Chris Rogers]

Three years? And you're originally from Boston, but before this, you were in Miami?

[Emily Wade]

Yes, I was.

[Chris Rogers]

Is there anything you miss about Miami?

[Emily Wade]

Besides the hookers?

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, is there anything?

[Emily Wade]

I really miss the weather. It's fucking cold in Austin. Even though it, you know, it only gets to, like, 60 degrees out here.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, well, it'll get warm, to say the least. It's gonna get real hot. That's fine. Is there anything you miss about Boston?

[Emily Wade]

Yeah, the people were such assholes up there. I love it. I made eye contact with somebody on the train the other day, and I was like, why the fuck are you looking at me, dipshit? Avert your eyes, uggo. Yeah, sorry.

[Chris Rogers]

No, it's great. You really are from Boston. Fuck yeah. And how's Austin treating you? What do you love about Austin, Texas?

[Emily Wade]

You know, I really love the outdoor people. They always bring entertainment. It's fantastic. I'm never bored here.

[Chris Rogers]

Are you talking about the homeless?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a great word for them. I've never thought about that before. We have a lot of outdoor people here. It's brilliant.

[Tim Butterly]

Thought she was talking about, like, Patagonia vest guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A lot of people dress like Timmy D out there. A lot of camouflage muscle shirts. Outdoor people.

[Chris Rogers]

Amazing. Amazing. What do you do for fun around town when you're not doing stand up?

[Emily Wade]

Emily, I don't want to tell you what I do because I don't want to make you make me do it. But I love karaoke.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, unfortunately, we already had a guy do a little karaoke right before you. I swear to God, I wrote that song, Tony.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, I just accidentally had another baby. I love it. What do you guys think about Steve O? Tim. What do you guys think about Emily?

[Steve-O]

I loved it. And I'm just. Just mesmerized by the tattoo of a jellyfish.

[Emily Wade]

Hey, my eyes are up here. Steve O.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah.

[Steve-O]

All I can see is this jelly. Why did you get a jellyfish tattooed on your arm?

[Emily Wade]

Okay, so I'm really scared of the ocean, but I love the ocean. And one day, my karate sensei, like, showed me his tattoo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your karate sensei?

[Emily Wade]

Peace over power. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a second degree black belt.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you serious?

[Emily Wade]

Yeah, but don't ask me to show you anything because I'm kind of fat and out of practice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No. Come on, there must be some.

[Chris Rogers]

Can you do just one little front kick or something?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can you beat the. Out of the.

[Emily Wade]

No. She's so pretty. You want me to beat the. Out of a blue haired liberal?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, actually, she's perfect. Blue haired lady that looks like she wants to protest the show. Why don't you just take a. Take a front kick. Let this poor. Let this ice protester from minute from Minneapolis take a. All right.

[Chris Rogers]

What kind of shoes are you wearing?

[Emily Wade]

Nikes.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, you could throw a kick. Throw a kick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Come on, Michael, give me that kick music. Whoa. Oh, my goodness gracious.

[Chris Rogers]

That's incredible. I'm here all week, so let's go back to it. Your karate sensei.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Karate sensei had a tattoo.

[Emily Wade]

He had a tattoo of a spider. And I was like, why the do you have a black widow spider? He was like, I'm terrified of spiders. So he was like, I put something that scares me on my body so I have to face my fear every day. And I was like 15. I was like, whoa, that's so deep. And then I got money and my buddy tattooed me in his bed, and it was a jellyfish.

[Chris Rogers]

So, yeah, that tattoo looks like it

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

was done laying down in bed. That's incredible.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Steve, was.

[Heidi]

Is that why you have a tick on your forehead?

[Emily Wade]

How do you know about that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My sensei told me to get whatever

[Chris Rogers]

I'm most scared of.

[Emily Wade]

If I did that, it would be a vagina on my forehead.

[Chris Rogers]

Wow, you have a jellyfish. That's incredible. Yeah, Red band's thinking about getting. He's gonna get a peanut butter and jellyfish tattoo. Wow, Emily, what else is going on in life since the last time we saw you. Anything else crazy?

[Emily Wade]

I did my first three feature spots in the past year, which is very exciting.

[Chris Rogers]

Nice longer sets.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

For those of you that might not

[Chris Rogers]

know, that's the spot in between the opener and the headliner on the road. Usually. I'm ready for my 20, 30 minutes. It's a growth spurt. Your karate sensei would be very proud.

[Emily Wade]

He did me very well.

[Steve-O]

Steve O, who did you feature for? For?

[Emily Wade]

I featured for Davy Jacks, and then I did, like, two different feature spots and, like, showcases.

[Steve-O]

Oh, sweet. Do you have any other tattoos?

[Emily Wade]

Nothing as nice as your eyebrow one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, thanks.

[Emily Wade]

I have. I can show you. I have this one. Sorry, my bad. I'll clean it after. Guys.

[Chris Rogers]

It's fine.

[Emily Wade]

This one says never less.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Ooh.

[Emily Wade]

And this one says nevermore. And again. I thought it was deep as fuck. Okay.

[D Madness]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow. You must be scared of bad tattoos.

[Emily Wade]

Sit on it and rotate.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Emily, I would love to have you on the secret show Thursday. Boom. You just got booked on this secret show. Here's the big joke book. Emily Wade, ladies and gentlemen. Growing. I love it when people get better

[Chris Rogers]

and better on this show. Sometimes every once in a while, people stay stagnant, people get worse. Turns out that one minute that they did the one time was their best minute. And they haven't been writing. How about one more time for Emily Wade?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're going to keep it moving on here. Your next bucket poll goes by the name of Blake Apatow, everybody. Here we go.

[Blake Apatow]

Great to be here. What's up, folks? I don't know how y' all feel about immigration, but I feel like all things, we need some balance. Like, I think we should build a wall. We should also install a doggie door for hot Latinas. We need them desperately. I think we should import millions of gorgeous Latinas. And for every Latino we import, we can deport one obese white chick. Maybe 2 to 1 or 3 to 1. I don't know what the exchange rate is. My big white gal. It's been a tough year. My best friend died from a fake Xanax that had Fentanyl in it. Yeah, he would take Xanax to help him chill out now. He's about as chill as you can possibly get. Eternally chill. My other friend facetimed him the night he died. He still feels horrible. Feels like he could have saved him somehow. Imagine how I feel. I sold him that Xanax.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you, folks. Blake Apatow.

[Chris Rogers]

Appreciate y' all welcome to the show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Blake thank you, sir.

[Chris Rogers]

How are you doing?

[Kendall Junior]

Wonderful.

[Chris Rogers]

You've been on before, right?

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah. Recently.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Steve-O]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

This was better than last time, right?

[Blake Apatow]

Definitely.

[Chris Rogers]

Much better.

[Michael Good]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Hell yeah. You've been picturing this and preparing for it mentally.

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah, brother.

[Chris Rogers]

And writing and doing open mics.

[Blake Apatow]

Definitely.

[Chris Rogers]

How often do you get on stage? A week.

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah. So I just. In the last couple months, I've really found like an upshift. I was probably doing on average the last couple years in Austin, maybe three minutes a week, and now I'm doing like 30 minutes a week.

[Chris Rogers]

There you go. It shows. It shows. My friend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Chris Rogers]

Loved the ideas the whole way through. Did you really have a best friend that died?

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah, it's actually he was like my middle school best friend. And it's kind of a complicated death, you know, because we jacked each other off as middle schoolers.

[Chris Rogers]

Ah.

[Blake Apatow]

Now our secret is. Yeah, it's safe. It's six feet underground.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. He made you come and you made him go. Hell yeah. Absolutely.

[Chris Rogers]

Obviously you didn't really sell them that Xanax. That's a joke.

[Blake Apatow]

Correct.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay.

[Kendall Junior]

Correct.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because I had to ask because you literally look like you sell that Xanax. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blake Apatow]

People try to buy coke from me all the time.

[Chris Rogers]

I bet.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like an outdoor person. I get that.

[Steve-O]

But he looks like a really hot outdoor person.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, yeah, it is amazing.

[Blake Apatow]

I work in the neighborhood in some hotel valet. The other day he saw me, he's like, dude, I don't know your vibe. I can't figure out. I can't figure out if you're a billionaire or homeless.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Tim Butterly]

Perette Forest Gump.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Chris Delauded.

[Michael Good]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

You get a lot of girls. You're a good looking guy. You dress like a, like a, like you're like you're trans or something.

[Blake Apatow]

I do okay. I do okay. A lot of women just like instantly. Yeah. Either feel me or they don't. I guess they make it very clear if they don't. Sometimes I'll kind of wander up in short shorts, shirtless and flip flops and around like Lady Bird Lake and instantly a girl. I'll just go to say hi and I'm like, not interested.

[Jerrell Beeman]

All right, fair.

[Chris Rogers]

That makes sense.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We try, but every once in a

[Tim Butterly]

while, one of them is into it.

[Blake Apatow]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Tim Butterly]

Any of them with alive dads?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ah, I don't know about that, brother. I don't know about that.

[Chris Rogers]

Can you give us an example of a time that went extremely well for you?

[Freddie Dulesi]

Oh.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, yeah. You ever Just bang a chick against a tree there. Lady Bird Lake.

[Blake Apatow]

Oh, one time I went on a Tinder date by the Lady Bird Lake, and she was. She was a mom. And we kind of strolled for an hour. It got dark, and then we sat at a bench, and she ended up blowing me twice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Twice.

[Chris Rogers]

Twice.

[Blake Apatow]

I didn't even want the second one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. I'm like, that's amazing. D Madness is going to meet this girl right now.

[Red Band]

Enjoy, bro. Enjoy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where the is Lady Bird leg at this? Thank you.

[Chris Rogers]

It's amazing. She made you come twice. Well, I guess when you're used to

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

getting jerked off by middle school boys, it's pretty exciting. Get your dick sucked on a park bench, and I bet you would know.

[Chris Rogers]

So explain to us twice how much time is in the middle there? And are you using Bluechew? Using the promo code? Kill Tony?

[Blake Apatow]

Sounds like a good idea. Maybe in the future. But no. So we were kind of just hanging out, and people were coming, you know, slowly, sporadically. And then we started. Started kind of hooking up, started going for it, and then it was very hot because people were coming. Like, she had to. We had to stop the blow job multiple times and, like, kind of pretend like we were doing nothing.

[Michael Good]

And then, like.

[Chris Rogers]

Right.

[Blake Apatow]

Cover it up and Very hot for her to resume that.

[Chris Rogers]

What did you cover it up with?

[Timmy D]

Oh, I just.

[Blake Apatow]

We threw the pants on quickly, and then I kind of, like, threw my leg over.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I was curious if you maybe had,

[Chris Rogers]

like, a newspaper or something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

And so one of the times she makes you climax.

[Blake Apatow]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

And then how much time goes in between the first blowjob and the second blowjob?

[Michael Good]

An uncomfortable amount.

[Blake Apatow]

I wasn't even ready really for the second one.

[Red Band]

Want it?

[Blake Apatow]

It was. It was clear that she wanted that.

[Chris Rogers]

20 or 30 minutes. No longer than that.

[Blake Apatow]

Two or three minutes.

[Chase Alexander]

Wow.

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But it was so hot.

[Blake Apatow]

Like, I'm not even an exhibitionist, but I guess then I discovered I kind of was. And.

[Michael Good]

And I don't know.

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah. And it's like. It's beautiful. I know. I mean, obviously, blowjobs are amazing. Anywhere but in nature.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blake Apatow]

With the sounds of the little evening squalls and.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah. And.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And that. And that's just. That's just you. Yeah. Absolutely it. Yeah. Amazing.

[Chris Rogers]

Do you know how many kids this mother had?

[Blake Apatow]

She had one.

[Chris Rogers]

How old's that kid?

[Blake Apatow]

I think he's seven.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Wow.

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Think about that.

[Blake Apatow]

He's got a.

[Chris Rogers]

You were all seven at one point.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your mom could have been sucking outdoor people at the park.

[Chris Rogers]

Think about that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And no one wants to believe that

[Chris Rogers]

your mom would do it, but just remember she did.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your mom's also. All right. Drive.

[Chris Rogers]

Amazing. Red band.

[Red Band]

Tony.

[Heidi]

What kind of car do you think he drives?

[Chris Rogers]

This is easy. I'm gonna go with a bird scooter. Now you are a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

[Blake Apatow]

Oh, 06 Mustang GT.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay.

[Blake Apatow]

But currently you're on. You're on the money scooter, right?

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah. So I am.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right?

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, it really is a scooter.

[Blake Apatow]

But I prefer the lime bike. That's like classy to me. That's like the millionaire kind of version of the scooter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Scooter?

[Chris Rogers]

Hell yeah.

[Tim Butterly]

What do you mean currently? What happened to the car?

[Blake Apatow]

Well, I got a d. Yeah, no,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

100 a year ago.

[Michael Good]

Really?

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah, yeah, spot on.

[Red Band]

Just.

[Blake Apatow]

Just almost wrapped it up now.

[Chris Rogers]

Take us through that. Oh, God. What exactly happened that night?

[Blake Apatow]

Okay. Couple drinks with my co worker and a couple comments that came back to kind of haunt me that night. I was like, wow, I'm so proud of my drinking lately, being so responsible. And then I. After like two or three drinks, I went and stopped in to get a drink at my friend's bar. And I genuinely remember that first drink. Nothing at all for the next four hours. Complete blackout. Complete blackout came out of the blackout with multiple cops with firearms on me.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Michael Good]

Yep.

[Chris Rogers]

Let me ask you this. How many drinks did you have at the. That second bar? Did your buddy tell you? Did he tell you the next day or whatever?

[Blake Apatow]

So that's the thing is I. I was too shameful. I didn't even go back and ask, honestly. But I had a number of drinks.

[Heidi]

Is this buddy the same guy that you blew?

[Blake Apatow]

Maybe his revenge?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're getting, you're getting all the stories across here. It was a hand job. It wouldn't suck his buddy's dick. I mean that. That be gay.

[Blake Apatow]

And that's the thing is, is we did. Did you know we did actually blow each other?

[Chris Rogers]

Oh yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So FYI. Yeah.

[Blake Apatow]

13 year old boys give terrible head. God awful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Wow. Wouldn't recommend wow clip it.

[Blake Apatow]

I'm on my Epstein.

[Tim Butterly]

That's a brand new sentence.

[Blake Apatow]

I'm a young Epstein. I'm looking for my Ghislaine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Blake Apatow]

Just Lane is in prison.

[Chris Rogers]

Amazing. Blake Apatow.

[Tim Butterly]

Did you know at the time it was terrible or was it after, you know, you finally had a woman's touch that you went, wow, that was actually not that good.

[Blake Apatow]

No, it was so bad.

[Tim Butterly]

It was mid, bro.

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah, it was really terrible on impact, but it was so Nice to have somebody touching me for reference. It wasn't my first blow job I had. I was able to self suck when I was a 13 year old. So it was just nice to have somebody else sucking it. Man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Man.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Right?

[Michael Good]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ghouls, gotta get back to class.

[Tim Butterly]

Red, you got any secret show spots left?

[Red Band]

Pervert.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Get yourself a hand job. Red Band, can you still self sub?

[Blake Apatow]

No, bro. I lost the magic power, dude.

[Tim Butterly]

Heidi, bring out the yoka mat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you tried recently?

[Blake Apatow]

I haven't tried recently.

[Chris Rogers]

You haven't?

[Blake Apatow]

No, I haven't.

[Chris Rogers]

Now when you would self suck. Tim, hold on to that question because I want to get back to that. But when you would self suck, would you go on your back, legs up and over or would you go get hard Indian style hunch over the old master Yoda, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Blake Apatow]

So I tried everything. I'm an experimental guy. I will say I was kind of a pro level though. I could self suck just standing up. I could just bend over and.

[Chris Rogers]

Can you show us exactly?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can I get a drum roll and you show us exactly? Steveo's very interested. He's. He's getting ready for Jackass 6 over here.

[Timmy D]

Whoa.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Very good.

[Steve-O]

Okay. You said you could self suck until you were 13.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Yeah.

[Steve-O]

So at what age did the goo come out and how did you handle that?

[Blake Apatow]

Well, that's the thing is I started jacking off and I had goo and then I was sucking with goo, so I had like a hot six month run.

[Steve-O]

Okay, so what were you doing with goo?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know what, I was swallowing it, by the way. Yeah,

[Red Band]

Come on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is kill Tony 2026. And for that, my friend, you're leaving here with a big joke. He just catches it in his mouth and swallows it. Blake Apatow, I love you. Thank you.

[Steve-O]

I'm trying to figure out what was the crazier confession. Sucking his butt, his dick when he was 13 or swallowing his own.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, somehow it's less gay if it's

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

your own dick, isn't it?

[Chris Rogers]

I think almost everyone agrees.

[Chase Alexander]

Yeah.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah, that.

[Steve-O]

But that was heavy. That was really, really heavy.

[Tim Butterly]

You know, most people online that have sucked their own dick say it feels less like getting your dick sucked and more like you're sucking a dick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's like an elbow. Yeah. Red band said on an episode that he, he used to be able to do that. We put, we put it, we put it to the test. His, his head was about three feet away from us.

[Heidi]

The belly now. Yeah, the belly blocks everything. I used to only be able to do the tip of it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was so horrible.

[Red Band]

Like,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

red band has a four foot long penis, everybody.

[William Montgomery]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Let's get another bucket pull up here before going to one of our great regulars. Ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket bowl goes by the name of Michael Good, everybody. Michael Good. All right.

[Michael Good]

I had to go to a baby funeral and I'll make it silly, but

[Chris Rogers]

I don't know why I thought I

[Michael Good]

was going to see other babies at the funeral. I'm just looking around like, I guess this wasn't one of the popular ones. That's the only funeral where you can't talk to the coffin with the same voice that you talk to the person when they were alive. You can't just come up like, you might. If I say a few words. A. A lady got mad at me recently for saying the word. This woman's like, you're saying the R word. What year is it? And I was like, huh, this doesn't even know what year it is.

[Chris Rogers]

Bless her heart.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. What the. Can I say? Holy amazing.

[Chris Rogers]

Michael Good has entered the Kil Tony universe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Welcome, welcome, my friend. Where have me.

[Chris Rogers]

Where have you been doing comedy at this whole time?

[Michael Good]

So I've been in New York for about seven years now. Two years in Florida and about seven in New York.

[Chris Rogers]

Wow, you are hilarious, dude.

[Michael Good]

Thank you, man.

[Chris Rogers]

I appreciate what brings you to Austin.

[Michael Good]

I was just kind of going down here trying to do shows and I have some friends in the scene, so I was like, let me just mix it up and get down here for two weeks.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, amazing. Amazingly talented. Where do you tend to perform in New York City?

[Michael Good]

My two main spots are New York Comedy Club, then the Grizzly Pair.

[Chris Rogers]

Nice. Yeah, you're doing it, dude. That's hilarious. How much? What's the longest set you've ever done?

[Michael Good]

I've done 50, but it's stretch like it's like the headliner road gigs that are just like, like, dude, on Saturday it was like nobody below 65 in like Greenville, Texas.

[Chris Rogers]

Sure, yeah, that happens. Yeah, yeah, that's part of the game. What you open for people? Do you feature for people, anything like that?

[Michael Good]

No, I mean I'm featured for one of my friends doing well online next month. But then for the most part it's just road gigs and club spot. But like, like low level headliner gigs.

[Chris Rogers]

You are fantastic. Do you make a living doing standup in New York?

[Michael Good]

No, no, I'm poor as right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I sold feet picks like two days ago, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Michael Good]

Yeah, my podcast listeners, they're into the feedback feet. And I waited till the last minute, then I was like, ah, it.

[Chris Rogers]

We have a D. Madness is in defeat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's coming back in. He just got done getting a double blow job at Lady Bird Lake.

[Timmy D]

I still.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He thinks it was Lady Bird Lake. It was really. It was really just a piss stream in the alleyway, but we told him it was Lady Bird Lake.

[Chris Rogers]

Anyway, Michael, tell us more about your life. Life. What else about you? Such great jokes. So well wr. So perfectly executed. What else?

[Michael Good]

Well, I grew up doing pretty well, so this is a big drop off. So like I grew up rich.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Michael Good]

Just getting blown in my dad's Range Rover and then now I sell plasma and feed pics.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So yeah, yeah,

[Michael Good]

yeah. I'm like a washed up Disney Channel star. It feels like just amazing.

[Chris Rogers]

What a dude dad do for a living.

[Michael Good]

He works in real estate.

[Chris Rogers]

Nice. And that was in Florida?

[Michael Good]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay. What part of Florida?

[Michael Good]

Orlando.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Hell yeah. The home of Cam Patterson.

[Steve-O]

Yes.

[Chris Rogers]

Did you know Cam when you were coming up?

[Michael Good]

So I went back for the holidays. Cu. Lived in New York. And he buried me when he was like six months in. And I'm like, how long Zach, have I done comedy? Like six months. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna kill myself.

[D Madness]

That was.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, he's a special freak.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, he's great.

[Chris Rogers]

I love it. And so you still live in New York?

[Chase Alexander]

York, yes.

[Michael Good]

I leave tomorrow actually.

[Chris Rogers]

What's your situation? Like, how many square footage? You live by yourself?

[Michael Good]

No. Two other comics. Under a train, basically.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay.

[Michael Good]

Allowed.

[Chris Rogers]

Is it a two bedroom?

[Michael Good]

No, it's three bedrooms and then toilet though.

[Chris Rogers]

You got your own bedroom. What part of town?

[Timmy D]

Brooklyn.

[Michael Good]

Williamsburg.

[Chris Rogers]

Brooklyn. So you're sharing one toilet with three? Two. Two other dudes.

[Blake Apatow]

Two dudes?

[Michael Good]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Wow. What's that like?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is.

[Michael Good]

It's pretty brutal. You can. I can break into my laundry room's bathroom. The. The landlord like locks that, but I'll just go in there and break it if I really have to take it though.

[Chris Rogers]

That's crazy. He has one toilet. Three dudes. I live by myself and have three toilets. We're like the opposite.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're like opposites, Michael. Good.

[Chris Rogers]

It's incredible. I have toilets I've never even seen before.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just to let you know. Know when you think about me, just

[Chris Rogers]

remember I love it. What else about your life? Tell us more. You're so funny and interesting, dude.

[Michael Good]

Thank you. I.

[Blake Apatow]

This is.

[Michael Good]

I'm bad with money, so I'm.

[D Madness]

I'm.

[Michael Good]

I put money towards becoming a UFO field investigator. Yeah. Because I want like the id. Like, you get a card from this thing called mufon, the Mutual UFO Network. And I'm like, dude, to have like a little badge with my face on it seems like I could do a lot of fun with that. That. So a lot of plans that don't actually move my career forward. And I'm like, why'd I spend 300 bucks on that?

[Chris Rogers]

But wow. What else you slinging? Cutco knives or anything like that? Like, you are. You just have the wildest money making schemes. It is absolutely incredible.

[Michael Good]

Yeah, I'm trying to think ways to make money or how to.

[Chris Rogers]

How much money do you have? How much money do you have saved up right now? This is the only show in the world where people ask that question. By people, I mean me.

[Michael Good]

I have 600. 300 is borrowed right now.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, you gave away 300 or, or, or.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, you're borrowing 300.

[Michael Good]

300 of the 600 is borrowed.

[Chris Rogers]

Who did you borrow it from? A friend or a parent.

[Michael Good]

Or a parent. Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay. Are they charging interest? Your dad owns real estate. Is there an APR or something like that on this?

[Michael Good]

No, no, no, no. It was a secret one that my mom's like,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

we love those, those secret mom borrowings. I never got one in my life.

[Chris Rogers]

That's why I ended up wildly successful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But I mean, you can't have people helping you. You know what I mean? You gotta struggle.

[Blake Apatow]

Yeah, I agree.

[Chris Rogers]

So what is that extra 300 doing for you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Exactly?

[Chris Rogers]

What are you doing? What, what are you doing with that extra 300 that you wouldn't have done had you not had it?

[Michael Good]

Just getting rent covered so I can like. Yeah. Then I'm gonna pay it back.

[Chris Rogers]

Of course.

[Michael Good]

Plasma feed pick. She doesn't have to know where I got it from.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Rogers]

She might be the one to support you secretly without dad knowing. She might be the one buying your feet pics.

[Gus Swanda]

That's.

[Red Band]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Just something to keep in mind, sweetheart. I just want to, like. I'll do anything. Just don't let dad know. Dad's tough on you, huh?

[Michael Good]

Yeah, yeah, but he's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's a good dude, but he believes

[Chris Rogers]

in what you're doing.

[Michael Good]

Yeah, yeah. We've gotten some argument. We had an argument a couple months back. I was like, I don't even know why we're having this conversation. I've never borrowed money from you. And then like, like a two months

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

later I was like, oh, I gotta

[Michael Good]

ask this guy for money. But he, he's. He supported. But like, I don't know, he's like, you know, we'll see. But yeah, I don't know.

[Chris Rogers]

Amazing. Amazing.

[Heidi]

You remind me of the guy from Office Space.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael Good]

I get that a lot. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Heidi]

How much money do you get for plasma? Like, and have you ever done double red? Because that pays more, right?

[William Montgomery]

Double.

[Chris Rogers]

Double what?

[Heidi]

Double red.

[Chris Rogers]

No one knows what you're talking.

[Heidi]

It's like the.

[Chris Rogers]

How.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you know about that? Are you selling plasma? Yeah, dude. Red pants buying plasma. Yeah, every six months, bro. I think we just found out how Covid started Everybody Red Band donating plasma

[Chris Rogers]

to people in Wuhan.

[Tim Butterly]

Well, your dad doesn't know you're going to make it.

[Michael Good]

Thank you, dude. I appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you, man. I appreciate that a lot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's a good dude.

[Michael Good]

He just cautiously supported.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, your dad. I'm going to beat the out of your dad. I'll tell you what.

[Chris Rogers]

You've been doing comedy in New York for seven years total. What do you think the greatest venue to possibly play in all of New

[Michael Good]

York is, like, outside comedy? Like Madison Square Garden?

[Chris Rogers]

That is correct. And I want you to tell your dad that you will be doing a

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

minute on KONY in August at the greatest arena in. In the world, Madison Square Garden. You're doing it, buddy. Here's a big duck bug. Thank you so much. We'll see you in August at Madison Square Garden. Tickets going on sale extremely soon. I'm technically not supposed to announce that. It's supposed to be a surprise, but we do it every year. We go to Madison Square Garden every year, just like every other podcast does. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we have one of the greatest regulars in this show's history here. An absolute phenom. A freak of nature that was once at one point known as the Dark Storm of Atlanta. He's now the Dark Storm of Austin. Here with a brand new minute like he does every single week. Every single episode. No weeks off. This is Dedrick Flynn.

[D Madness]

Armadillos are just Mexican turtles. I thought that's what the word armadillo mean. Cause I've been trying to create some secret ooze to turn these niggas into Teenage Mutant Ninja Mexican Turtles. You don't even gotta change the name. You know what I'm saying? It's just Raphael, Leonardo, Michael. But I'm Master Splinter. Now that I got y' all in a silly thing, I gotta get to some beef that I got. Fuck the nigga who made the low battery noise and smoke detectors. N How the fuck I got so many White friends that move next door, they smoke detector don't never go off. But when my black ass family move in, that shit be on for 15 years. Nigga, either kill yourself or not. I hate a battery that don't actually want to die. But then, now I know it's a conspiracy. They turned us into sleeper agents. They want us to be ghetto. Because in 2001, I opened up the smoke detector. And if y' all remember, Duracell used to be able to have these buttons that you could press and see how much energy was left in the battery. Nigga, it was full.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm done. I'm such a shit too fast that drink blame. Unbelievable. Every single time.

[Chris Rogers]

My God. Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So many great references.

[Chris Rogers]

The armadillo really is a Mexican turtle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your take on the battery is incredible.

[Chris Rogers]

I forgot about Duracell's amazing technology back then. Yeah, it was an interesting thing. I mean, you would almost. What? We would kind of take things. Things out just to check.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You would, like, take the batteries out?

[Chris Rogers]

Yep, still there.

[Heidi]

Super cool technology.

[Chris Rogers]

It was.

[Heidi]

You know why it chirped, though, even though the battery was full.

[D Madness]

Say something mean. I know.

[Heidi]

It's because that means the sensor was done. You had to replace it. It wasn't the battery, it was the sensor. It expires after like three.

[D Madness]

How come my white friends didn't have no sensors? Right. Well, please tell me more about your technology that your people did to my black people. Make us poorer than we thought. Because we can't have a full conversation without somebody going, yeah, well, we did this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We have the same thing. The white people have the same thing. But when we hear it, we do whatever it takes to stop it.

[D Madness]

That shit be over there, Tony. We ain't got time. I gotta knock down cobwebs and shit. I gotta go outside and be black. In the 90s, it was a lot. I.

[Steve-O]

I did what it took to stop mine. I got a broom and I javelin that thing. No more smoke detector.

[Chris Rogers]

Have you ever thought about taking a gun, holding it sideways and shooting the smoke detector?

[D Madness]

Yeah, the other. The other day I got a gun and I went up there and I. I robbed that nigga's voice. No, that's my. I'm so sorry. It's not me being mean.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love you.

[D Madness]

Black people love you. Thank you so much.

[Steve-O]

Hey, man, I love you.

[D Madness]

I love you too, man. And it get uncanny. That's my black Steve O impression. Wait, this is Steve O saying, it's amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's amazing. I've always wondered what he Would sound like coming from that voice.

[D Madness]

Y' all gotta check out Wild Blood, boys. Y' all gotta check out Jackie the Movie. Black steo gonna be in there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think you got a new character. Yeah, Steve O Harvey.

[D Madness]

Welcome to the Feud. So why let's go to the aunt school boy. Fam, if you says turtles, not you. What do you call Mexican? Turtles.

[Chris Rogers]

So, Dedrick, you did it again. What else have you seen? An armadillo I've seen a lot of.

[D Madness]

Nah, I saw one when I was high and I never want to see that nigga again.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They really are a freaky little turtle, that.

[D Madness]

Them niggas move too quick, you know what I'm saying?

[William Montgomery]

They do.

[D Madness]

That's why they not turn. Yeah, a turtle take his time. Say what's up to you. Can I cross here? Yeah, like an armadillo that just run up on you and he wanna. He wanna taco or some shit like that, you know what I'm saying? It's really like a armored raccoon from Mexico from my deep research of seeing one of them niggas. And I never wanna see. I keep just actually two more. I'm moving back to Atlanta. If I see two more armadillos, why the y' all got em out here? We should do something. You can't even eat them without getting or some shit like that. Cause I looked into it, Tony, you know, I cook. I wanted to make some armadillo fried rice.

[Chris Rogers]

Amazing. How about bats? You've seen a lot of bats here in Austin?

[D Madness]

No, I'm waiting for the bats to come out. Yeah, I bought a little mini bike and I bought a Batman costume and I'm a go beat to.

[Chris Rogers]

You might have bats in your place

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

and not know about it because they hang from the ceiling and chirp every

[Chris Rogers]

once in a while.

[D Madness]

But I think black like bats. Not blacks, but bats. Meet the Bat History Month is Meet the bats.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is. It's Bat History Month. March is Bat History Month.

[D Madness]

Was that your joke? You put the mic down and immediately. Tim, we're friends.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Don't do this to me.

[Tim Butterly]

I was say, bats are just black birds.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's why they be hanging all the time. Let's go. The butterly Hinchcliff connection, alive and well.

[D Madness]

Oh, man, I wish I was well equipped to say something back, but just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You wish there was an nword for white people.

[D Madness]

They have crows, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, we do have.

[D Madness]

They have.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They have white word.

[D Madness]

They have like nice words for white people. You can't say.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, crows.

[Chris Rogers]

Crows are different though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a whole different.

[Chris Rogers]

They're out there working the fields and everything. That's a whole different world.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You guys would never.

[Timmy No Breaks]

The.

[D Madness]

The bats eat the insects because I googled it because I was dating a white witch one time and that had a bat box in the backyard so she could have bats to take care of the mosquito. Because down south, I mosquitoes bigger than me and man, like they gotta eat all that. That's why we got lightning bugs. I don't know you. Y' all like lightning bug. Y' all calling what fireflies out here? That's dumb as them shits is called lightning bugs in the real South.

[William Montgomery]

You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Rogers]

I remember lightning bugs very well.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Awesome.

[Chris Rogers]

I don't really see them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, they don't have them out here.

[Chris Rogers]

They don't have them out.

[Heidi]

You know, Batman didn't have a either

[D Madness]

they got those ones.

[Gus Swanda]

It look.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait. Red band, ladies and gentlemen, bring up the sound effect. I don't know if you guys heard it. It happened quick. He's not one that's known for timing and enunciation, but he did just crank another home run.

[Chase Alexander]

He did.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He said Batman also didn't have a father. And just for that, my friend, you will. Oh, he can't find his own sound effect.

[D Madness]

Dumbass.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

13 years.

[D Madness]

That's from William Montgomery. He told me to tell you. Fuck you, dumbass.

[William Montgomery]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Redban with two jokes in one episode. If you have that on your bingo card. If you bet. If you bet $1 on Poly Market, you just won $5 billion. That is the first time red. Batman be rob.

[Red Band]

Sunset.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sunset.

[William Montgomery]

Wow.

[D Madness]

Come on. Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[D Madness]

Redman on his today.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you believe in miracles? USA beats Canada in hockey.

[D Madness]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And red band pulls out hat trick on kill toast. This is unbelievable. Someone's gonna drink himself to death tonight. I can already tell he's gonna be holding court in mid seats. Just gather around, kids. Let me tell you how I got to this point in my life.

[D Madness]

Shout out white dad. That's what I call red man. White dad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Rogers]

Dedrick, you're the fucking man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You did it again. We absolutely love you. You're watching a shooting star lady. Ladies and gentlemen, live in the flesh, the one and only Dark storm of Austin, Dedrick Flynn. What an episode. You guys having fun out there? I know we are up here. All right, your next bucket bowl goes by the name of Gus Swanda. Gus Swanda. Here we go.

[Gus Swanda]

Thank you. I recently moved back back to the United States after living in South Korea for 30 years. So I'm experiencing a bit of a culture shock. The biggest difference is the things you can't say now in America that you could. 30 years. You can't say. Apparently you can't say homeless. You have to say unhoused. I tested this theory out. I saw a homeless guy the other day, and I said, do you prefer the term homeless or unhoused? And I will never forget what he said to me. It was so poignant. He said to me, stop stealing my thoughts, as he stabbed me repeatedly. I'll put that down as an unhoused after I get back from the hospital. You know, you can't say the word retard anymore. That's a new one. You have to say Democrat.

[D Madness]

Yeah.

[Gus Swanda]

You know, a mechanic kicked me out of his shop the other day just for telling him that I blew a tranny. It's like, that's homophobic. I'm like, no, it's just I drive too hard. And the worst one, you can't say anymore.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Go ahead. Go ahead, finish it.

[Gus Swanda]

No, I mean, you have to say a bundle of sticks with which to

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

start a fire with which it.

[Gus Swanda]

You know, I mean, but that's so long. I mean, it's a good word. I. I love.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, all right, all right.

[Chris Rogers]

There you go. You did it. Gus Swanda, welcome.

[Red Band]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long you been doing stand up, Gus?

[Timmy No Breaks]

I start.

[Gus Swanda]

I started in 2007.

[D Madness]

Wow.

[Chris Rogers]

I started in 2007.

[Gus Swanda]

Did you?

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Gus Swanda]

That's the same level of success I could see.

[Chris Rogers]

I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, you went on to make all. All those great Mythbusters episodes, and I focused mostly on the comedy.

[Gus Swanda]

Comedy, yeah. Why didn't I think of that?

[Chris Rogers]

What have you been doing the whole time? Where were you in 2007 when you.

[Gus Swanda]

I was in Busan, South Korea. Busan.

[Chris Rogers]

Busan.

[Gus Swanda]

Yeah. And we had a. A comedy group. You know, pretty big community there. It's like the second largest city. Seoul had a comedy group and we tour out. I was lucky enough.

[Chris Rogers]

Remind me again, where's Busan?

[Gus Swanda]

It's on the very southern tip. It's on the coast beaches. It's known for its beaches.

[Red Band]

South Korea.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, sorry. Okay, go ahead.

[Chris Rogers]

You were saying?

[Gus Swanda]

And, well, you know, I was fortunate to meet and open up for some really big name comedians like Kyle Kanane, Danny Cho. I'm good friends with Tom. Tom Rhodes.

[Chris Rogers]

Nice.

[Gus Swanda]

Yeah.

[Timmy D]

So.

[Gus Swanda]

So I came back here. I was a university professor.

[Chris Rogers]

Where at?

[Gus Swanda]

In Busan.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, you were at Busan University. You taught English?

[Gus Swanda]

No, I taught international relations.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Gus Swanda]

So I came back Here. And I tried to do that, and I found out I can't do that. So I thought, well, you know, do what? I love comedy. And I found out I can't do that tonight as well.

[Chris Rogers]

How old are you? You.

[Gus Swanda]

I'm. How old am I really? Or how old do I tell people I am?

[Chris Rogers]

Jesus, you're also gay.

[Gus Swanda]

Anyway.

[Chris Rogers]

Sometimes you find out the answer to two questions at once.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you think I am, Tony?

[Gus Swanda]

Hell, yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old does my look?

[Red Band]

Did you bleach it?

[Chris Rogers]

How old are you, Gus?

[Gus Swanda]

I'm 55.

[Chris Rogers]

55. How old do you tell people people you are?

[Gus Swanda]

53.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You think it's worth it? You think the juice is worth. Squeeze on that one? Yeah. Shave up years. You know what?

[Chris Rogers]

I swear to God, if you were two years older, I wouldn't be down, but I'm going to suck your on a park bench twice in three minutes. All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. A call back to earlier, Gus. A call back is when you write.

[Chris Rogers]

No, I'm joking.

[Timmy No Breaks]

What?

[Chris Rogers]

No, I think it's so funny.

[Gus Swanda]

Call me back later and we'll work on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa.

[Chris Rogers]

Are you actually gay?

[Gus Swanda]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay.

[Chris Rogers]

Gosh darn it.

[Gus Swanda]

But I really want to be on the Secret show, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa. That's Red Band's deal. Look at him.

[Timmy No Breaks]

I'm.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's taking a phone call. He's taking a phone call. Rogan, man, come on. He's got pretty big, dude. Rogan. Rogan. I got three big laughs. Tonight on Kill. Tony, did you bring back any good Asian women?

[Gus Swanda]

Dead Asian women.

[Chris Rogers]

Good, good Asian.

[Gus Swanda]

I was married for 10 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Gus Swanda]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

You met her there?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. What went wrong? All right, All right.

[Gus Swanda]

Another callback.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's not. It shouldn't have gotten that. They're literally just rooting for it. Was the rooting for the underdog at this point? Or in this case, the under pig on fire. Tony, stop hating, dude.

[Gus Swanda]

The problem was communication problem. For example, like, one time she came home all excited, and she's like, honey, honey, the man on the first floor is therapist. And he just moved in. And I was like, oh, well, Koreans really don't believe in therapy. How cool is that? But does he speak English? And she's like, yes, he was therapist in America. And what she really meant to say was, the man on the first floor was the rapist, and he was a rapist. Well, I didn't know that. So I saw him in the elevator, and I'm like, wow, you know, I heard what you do. And he's like, oh, you did? I said, yeah. And, you know, I really sometimes would just like to come over and just unload. We swap stories. I would like that very much. It never happened.

[Chris Rogers]

You're a silly goose, Okay? I am.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What did your wife do for work?

[Chris Rogers]

What type of massages did she give?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's okay.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Cheap ones.

[Chris Rogers]

What did she do?

[Gus Swanda]

She was an artist. So nothing really. I mean, like, she didn't really earn any money, but.

[Chris Rogers]

But sex was good.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

And did it last the whole 10 years? Why did it fizzle out?

[Gus Swanda]

Well, I wanted to come back to America, and she really didn't. And, you know, it ended amicably. Amicably. I mean, I only got three minutes of material out of it, so had. Had it been more contested.

[Chris Rogers]

She only got 3 inches of material out of it.

[Gus Swanda]

She did.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gus, Wanda, give us one more crazy

[Chris Rogers]

fun fact about your life. Life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I just want to say that a

[Gus Swanda]

guy named Jace I met this weekend, he's supposedly some really lucky guy. He put his hand on me, and he's like, you're gonna get on Kill Tony. I.

[Chris Rogers]

It wasn't him.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, it was. The odds of this happening are literally

[Chris Rogers]

like 1 in 250.

[Gus Swanda]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

And you just got lucky. It was my hand.

[Chase Alexander]

Oh, okay.

[Chris Rogers]

My hand going through.

[Gus Swanda]

I just want to say thank you to Tony's hand.

[Chris Rogers]

Well, you don't have to thank anything. You have to thank me for the creating this format.

[Gus Swanda]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I just don't want some guy that thinks he's a psychic getting credit for you. I'd just like to thank Jace. Who? He's a homeless guy at Nueces and fifth Street. He put his hand on my shoulder, and he's like, you're going to do it well.

[Gus Swanda]

Or he makes ads and as Cena and Kill Tony.

[Chris Rogers]

All right, well, well, Gus, the set was okay. Here's a medium joke book.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right? Come back again sometime. I will, Goes Gus, Wanda, everybod.

[Chris Rogers]

All right, we're flying through it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your next bucket poll goes by the name of Jerrell Beeman, everyone. Jerrel Beeman, ladies and gentlemen.

[Jerrell Beeman]

What's up? What's up, man? I'm happy to be here in Texas, man. Actually live in a spot called Dayton, Ohio. Yup, yup. And that's all it gets right there. That's it. That's it. Now for real, man. People don't get too hyped when I say I live in Dayton, man. It always gets real weird and awkward and quiet, you know? And I get it, man. Y' all must not be a big fan of a Heroin. I see. Cause that's all we got in Southern Ohio, baby. All we got is heroin and fat white women.

[Heidi]

That's it.

[Jerrell Beeman]

That's it. Hey, hey, but hold on. I'm addicted to both, okay?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, stop it.

[D Madness]

Stop

[Jerrell Beeman]

you laughing at the truth.

[D Madness]

Stop it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Stop it.

[Jerrell Beeman]

People are like, jerrell, why don't you move out of dating? You so talented, man. You should move. But I won't. Cause the rent's too low, man. So cheap rent in my crib right now is $217 per month. Now, the week before I got it, I found out that a triple homicide happened right around the corner, which explained a lot. But when I found that out, that shit had me thinking about killing four people just to get that rent down to 100.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely hilarious. Jerrell Beeman has arrived. A lot of new names and faces tonight.

[Chris Rogers]

It's a fun show. Welcome, Jerrell.

[Jerrell Beeman]

What's up?

[Chris Rogers]

Hell, yeah. How are you?

[Jerrell Beeman]

I'm good, man. I'm feeling. I'm feeling good and gravy, man. Thanks for having me.

[Chris Rogers]

I love it. I love it. What a great set. You look fantastic. You look like you took a convertible

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

rocket here from Never. Never quite seen somebody who looks more blasted back than you do right now.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I was feeling the outfit over here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not exactly sure what video game character you remind me of. Don't know if it's Sonic or Tails

[Chris Rogers]

or exactly what's going on here, but. Jerell, how long you been doing standup?

[Jerrell Beeman]

I've been doing standup about seven years now.

[Chris Rogers]

I love it. And you still live in Dayton, Ohio?

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah, I travel all around, but I'm based in Dayton.

[Chris Rogers]

What keeps you in Dayton?

[Jerrell Beeman]

The rent. That rent's fantastic.

[William Montgomery]

I can't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can't even imagine. Can you.

[Chris Rogers]

Can you tell the people here exactly what your situation is?

[Jerrell Beeman]

Well, at first I was. I was living in the ghetto that was helping me out, paying that. But then I started living on campus with my girlfriend, and that was real cheap. I've been with her for five years. Clap it up for young black love Clap it up. Clap it up.

[Chris Rogers]

It's a black woman.

[Jerrell Beeman]

A black woman. I know, I know it's not a fat white woman.

[Chase Alexander]

I know. We all.

[Jerrell Beeman]

We all thought, but no fucking oink.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does your girl do for work, man?

[Jerrell Beeman]

My girl, man, she's a full time musical theater student and she works at a grocery store, which means we're broke as. So, yeah, I'm the breadwinner. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

What grocery store is it? Kroger?

[Jerrell Beeman]

Nah, it's Myers.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay. We know Myers very well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Red Band and I are both from

[Chris Rogers]

the great state of Ohio. Original. So is Tom Segura.

[Emily Wade]

Okay.

[Chris Rogers]

And young Jamie. Okay.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I was waiting for more. Nate.

[Chase Alexander]

I didn't know.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I thought it was more.

[Chris Rogers]

Dave Chappelle. Spent a lot of his youth there. So did Richard Pryor.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okie dokie.

[Chris Rogers]

Big names don't matter either.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Matt, right?

[Jerrell Beeman]

Harvey's from Cleveland.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, Steve Harvey. Absolutely. We could go on and on. Don't understand how we last so long. Must have superpowers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, Myers.

[Chris Rogers]

And you make all your money doing stand up or you do a little Uber eats?

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You do.

[Jerrell Beeman]

No, no, stand up. Mostly just, you know, doing shows, selling merch. Producing shows. A lot of it from producing show.

[Chris Rogers]

What's your merch like? What is.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Well, my merch, man, it's these. It's these little stickers of me with my image on and got my social media at the bottom and they donation based.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, okay.

[Jerrell Beeman]

You know, people give me what they feel from they hurt. You know, $1, 5, 10, you know, whatever it is. But after the shows is how I sell them. I put a cardboard sign around my neck since I'm begging. Fuck you. Since I was begging and the sign says I'm not. I wish I could have brought it out, but the sign says I'm funny, but being a broke comedian ain't no joke. Please donate, nigga. That's what it says says on the bot I added in the right now there's no on the side, but. And it helps me out, you know. But producing shows mainly is what kind of helps me put on my own.

[Chris Rogers]

But you're staying in Dayton where the rent is cheap. Yeah, but it's also tough to make money.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Have you ever thought about moving with your talents, you know, seven years experience, have you thought about moving to a city that might have a better economy and more opportunities for you?

[Emily Wade]

I've.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I've thought about it, man. You know, I'm starting to really build up a lot of shit in the scene out there where I'm kind of like on top of this like mountain a little bit kind of fish in a small pond.

[Chris Rogers]

But I'll tell you something, you're going

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

to die in Dayton if you keep building that mountain. Yeah, exactly. What is your rent?

[Chris Rogers]

Just be honest with us. I got to know exactly what the

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

rent that keeps you in Daytona.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Well, my rent now is. Is different. I live in Huber Heights now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, Huber Heights. It looks like I'm not the only one with Three toilets here. Well, I didn't realize I was talking to royalty. Jerrell. Jerrell Jarell. He lives quite a life of luxury in Huber Heights. Oh, you must be the only black in the neighborhood.

[Jerrell Beeman]

The population of black people is like 2%, and it went up when I moved.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It went up 2%.

[Jerrell Beeman]

That's how black I am. I'm wearing my own name on my jersey. That's how black. I'm very black.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, when he drives down the street, every white person's like, there he is. There's the one.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I actually currently own a Cadillac that's not working. So that's how black at.

[Steve-O]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I Wait, I'm getting word the. It's now three. They're counting that 3% in Huber Heights. They're. They're counting. Your Cadillac is one of the. Well, it doesn't work. It just sits around all day. Might as well be black.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah, the rent now is, like, at. It's like 700 now, so that's still amazing.

[Chris Rogers]

So you and your girl are splitting 700 rent?

[Jerrell Beeman]

I wish. Splitting. No, she. Don't kill me for saying that, but. No, no, that's. That's all me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's you, huh?

[Chris Rogers]

You let her keep her grocery store money?

[Jerrell Beeman]

No, she keeps all that, man. She needs it.

[Chris Rogers]

What. What does she spend it on?

[Jerrell Beeman]

She takes care of the phone bill. You know, she got phone bills? Oh.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, my goodness. So you got.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah, she. She. Phone bills, other things. You know, honestly, these are questions I should be asking her. Tony, I don'. You kind of me up. I was like, damn, what the.

[Chris Rogers]

If I'm helping, she pays for the phones, but does she also pay for the beepers?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm talking about. I'm talking about your smoke detector, of course.

[Jerrell Beeman]

My smoke. Ah, nah, that's. Yeah, I gotta find out what's going on with that.

[Chris Rogers]

Do you have a smoke detector in your apartment?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You don't even know. The stereotype is incredible.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I don't know my living. You're making me question my life.

[Chris Rogers]

That's what I do to people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a lot of fun.

[Chris Rogers]

Did you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you hear that?

[Chris Rogers]

Do you know what that is?

[Jerrell Beeman]

Is that the smoke detector?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes. Very good, since you answered that correctly.

[Jerrell Beeman]

No, but yeah, not a lot of it. Too producing. I produce my own shows and take them out on the road sometimes.

[Heidi]

Do you know our friend Layla Ingles?

[Red Band]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Layla's the little homie I fucks with her, man.

[Jerrell Beeman]

That's my little, like, miny, man.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, she's a little thing. Let's check in with. Let's check in with Steve O here. Steve O.

[Emily Wade]

What does.

[Steve-O]

What do you do to produce a show? I'm just trying to picture that. Maybe I'm.

[Chris Rogers]

I'm dumb, but you're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. Actually, it's called Black Ass.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Touring everywhere.

[Steve-O]

No, but not like what kind of show you producing.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah, I. I help run out things. Assume the independent quizzer where we book different acts. But a show that I produce myself is actually called Jerrell's Will of Comedy, where like, I get me and my co host, Kakaroo. Y' all could guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Wait, you said the word of the day.

[Chris Rogers]

What's your co host's name?

[Jerrell Beeman]

Kakaru.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that's crazy.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah. How do you guess what race?

[Chris Rogers]

How do you spell that? How do you spell that?

[Jerrell Beeman]

O, C, K, A, R, U, E. Cockaroo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Cockaroo.

[Chris Rogers]

For some reason, every time you say that, that weird noise plays.

[Heidi]

Yeah.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah. It's actually scaring the shit out of me right now. Nigga, I wish that smoke detector was back on. It's freaking me out. But yeah, me and Kakaroo, we co host it called Jerrell's World Comedy. We invite a guest, you know, comic on the panel with us. And what we'll do is we'll bring. Bring different comedians that we locked in for it and they have a will, Jerrell's Will of Comedy. They spin the wheel and whatever the wheel lands on based on the topic, they gotta do a joke based on that topic. So it'd be like relationship joke or crowd work or, you know, family joke, dirty joke. And they just do it on that. And we take that show about four different clubs out in the Midwest.

[Chris Rogers]

Awesome.

[Steve-O]

I'm sorry for asking.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I saw it in your face, Steve O. I fucking saw.

[Chris Rogers]

Checking with the great Tim Butterly.

[Tim Butterly]

I'm actually gonna be in Dayton in March and I would love to have you on my not so secret show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa. Look at that. Oh, my God. He really is. It does say date in here. What are the odds of that?

[Chris Rogers]

That's incredible.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah.

[Steve-O]

Yeah.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I wish I. I could, man. But I take it back.

[Red Band]

You, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Looks like it's just.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I'm already featuring on a show in Hartford, Connecticut, kid.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. You know what, Tim?

[Chris Rogers]

I have a suggestion. I think.

[Tim Butterly]

Can you edit that part out? I'm going to say something mean now.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I really want.

[Chris Rogers]

I have good news for you, Tim Butterly. While Jerell is not available, you can book Cockaroo.

[D Madness]

You got to book Cockaroo man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No.

[Jerrell Beeman]

You don't want to book Kakaroo. No.

[Tim Butterly]

Me and Kakaroo are doing heroin and dating.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dude, you can't stop us. I almost, almost accidentally threw my wallet at you, Jell.

[Jerrell Beeman]

I. Oh, dude, that would have been fantastic. Well, it ran off.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We do have from the great Bonsai Hairy joke book. Oh, my goodness. There he goes, Jerell. Beaming, everybody. An exciting time this is. What an episode. Let's keep the momentum up here we have one of the greatest golden ticket winners in the the entire show's history. How about a hand for Heidi and Val? Their hit podcast Love on the Line, is available@Heidy Regina.com. be sure to follow the band the Kill Tony band on YouTube and Instagram and follow Bonsai. He makes the best stuff made out of leather in all of Texas. We have a great golden ticket winner, One of the best ever. Literally, perhaps the best golden ticket winner in the history of the show. Show. Make some noise for the one and only Martin Phillips, everybody.

[Martin Phillips]

What's up? Hey. The medication I take is called oral baclofen. I take oral baclofen because I don't want to take anal baclofen. You know, it could fall out. You know, some people smoke weed through an apple. I smoke through a squash. So when I'm high, I'm like, oh, I'm so squashed right now. Let's get squashed. Try to make it a thing. Okay. Scientists say, scientifically speaking, you can sleep with your second cousin. And I don't know, it sounds like that scientist just had a really hot cousin. You know, I did the research. It's cool. Yeah, that's it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But hilarious. Martin Phillips.

[Chris Rogers]

Martin, welcome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Another very, very funny set.

[Chris Rogers]

I'm this backpack that you have. Can I ask you what the hell's going on?

[Martin Phillips]

I brought. All right, so the.

[Chris Rogers]

Is that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that.

[Chris Rogers]

So does that to help you stand up straight. What exactly is that?

[Martin Phillips]

It's a parachute. In case I follow. Okay.

[Heidi]

Child's backpack.

[Martin Phillips]

Yeah, exactly his style.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Yeah, it's cool.

[Chris Rogers]

It's just what you needed to look a little bit more like a pedophile.

[D Madness]

Okay.

[Martin Phillips]

So the most negative feedback I get is nobody wants to hear my voice. So Steve O gets it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So.

[Martin Phillips]

Okay, I'll admit this is a child's toy, but it changes your voice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my goodness.

[Martin Phillips]

So we had the option of robots. Ghost, Al N or monster.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ooh, what are you gonna say into it? Do you already had.

[Chris Rogers]

You have a pre planned thing that

[Martin Phillips]

you're gonna say, hey, we can redo the joke and see if it's better.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, my goodness. Which one do you.

[Martin Phillips]

Let's do.

[Chris Rogers]

What are you doing first?

[Martin Phillips]

Robot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here we go. The robot.

[Chris Rogers]

Martin. Fellow Phillips, ladies and gentlemen. This could be the future.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfect. Wait, wait. Okay.

[Martin Phillips]

Oh, sounds like a robot. Right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. I really only hear you saying, what's the deal with airlines, food, that thing?

[Chris Rogers]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Stephen talking, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, my goodness gracious. Let's hear that ghost.

[William Montgomery]

Ghost.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

I want to hear the ghost, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait a second. What? This thing is crazy.

[Timmy D]

Crazy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a. The ghost of a robot. Wait a second.

[Chris Rogers]

I know.

[Martin Phillips]

This is for. I know how to work this. This is for 5 year olds. I can.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you could do it. You could do it. Was that in the backpack that you stole from the kid?

[Red Band]

I can't.

[Martin Phillips]

He can't afford this book bag.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Martin Phillips]

This might be monster, actually.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Martin Phillips]

This is still a grasshopper.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This megaphone does every voice from Epstein's Island. This is incredible. There's. There's. There's child ghosts. There's Stephen Hawking. Is there a Bill Clinton on that thing?

[Martin Phillips]

This is alien.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's what? Alien.

[Martin Phillips]

Okay, it's gonna start speaking span.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is there anything left?

[Chris Rogers]

What's left?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did we do monster yet?

[Martin Phillips]

I think we did. My. I think there's this regular megaphone.

[Chris Rogers]

Oh, that's going to be great.

[D Madness]

Black helicopters.

[Martin Phillips]

This thing might be a piece of.

[Red Band]

For all.

[Martin Phillips]

For all the parents out there. Let me review the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's switch it to Alien. I have an idea.

[Chris Rogers]

Let's switch it to Alien, shove it

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

up Steve O's ass and let you rip a fucking part. All right. Martin, you got anything else in that backpack?

[Martin Phillips]

No, I just.

[Heidi]

Just serious question though. Is that your real backpack? Do you wear that backpack around?

[Chris Rogers]

Cuz it's hilarious.

[Martin Phillips]

I don't use it that much, but it's. It's a cool, stylish book.

[Heidi]

That little Asian girls backpack.

[Martin Phillips]

It's cool.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay.

[Martin Phillips]

It's sweet sugar.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tim Butterly.

[Tim Butterly]

Imagine how disappointed the guy that robs him on 6th Street's gonna be.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the. This stupid ass megaphone, man. I can't even buy no crack with this shit. Yeah.

[Jerrell Beeman]

Oh.

[Chris Rogers]

So.

[D Madness]

Okay.

[Martin Phillips]

I mean it. Worse than I usually sound, but you are unbelievable.

[Chris Rogers]

That was so entertaining.

[Martin Phillips]

Yeah. The haters.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Goddamn right, the haters. The haters. One more time for the undeniable Martin Phillips, ladies and gentlemen. Wow. What an episode. We're coming around the mountain here. You're coming around the corner. Two more bucket pools.

[Chris Rogers]

Let's get through It. Your next one goes by the name

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

of Freddie Do Lessee.

[Chris Rogers]

Everybody.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Freddie Dulesi.

[Chris Rogers]

Here comes Freddie.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some noise for Freddie, everybody.

[Freddie Dulesi]

I just realized, I think everything is a little racist. Like, my brother got a Tesla five years ago, and in five years, Tesla went from clean power to white power just like that. That's crazy how you hate people but love the environment. That's like if the KKK was like, yo, we not burning no more crosses. We LED lighting them. Strobe effect.

[D Madness]

We ride at dawn.

[Freddie Dulesi]

We're solar powered. I don't know, man. I think everything a little racist. Cause I'm from Virginia, you know, Virginia's racist. Like, we don't have sports teams. We gotta support the DC team. I didn't even know the football team's name was racist until the first game I went to. It was the Cowboys versus the Redskins on Thanksgiving. That's not a game. That's a reenactment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, that's like if they had

[Freddie Dulesi]

a team called the cops and they played the niggas, you know, on Juneteenth, like,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

absolutely fantastic. Freddie Dulesi. Your first time on the show, Freddie?

[Red Band]

Yes, sir.

[Chris Rogers]

Welcome, welcome. You live in Virginia still?

[Freddie Dulesi]

No, I live in Austin now.

[Chris Rogers]

How long did you move here?

[Freddie Dulesi]

About an hour and a half. A year and a half.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hour and a half.

[Freddie Dulesi]

About an hour and a half, Tony. I just got here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wild, wild success for an hour and a half.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Yeah, you know, I try my best.

[Chris Rogers]

I love it. What do you do for work?

[Freddie Dulesi]

I'm a sign language interpreter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Chris Rogers]

Are you a real one or are you like those fake ones that get caught and get in trouble?

[Freddie Dulesi]

I. I'm a real one. I'm a real one.

[Chris Rogers]

Really?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do something in front of D. Madness. D, tell me what he's signing. Oh, wait. Oh, I think I got it backwards.

[Freddie Dulesi]

A little backwards.

[Heidi]

I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

D's back here talking to Shut the up. You know, I can't see that shit.

[Chris Rogers]

I love it. Freddy, do you get a lot of work doing that?

[Freddie Dulesi]

Doing what? Sign language.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Yeah, not too bad. I do mostly, like. I interpret, like, phone calls for deaf people.

[Steve-O]

Got it.

[Freddie Dulesi]

So, yeah, that's most of my days.

[Chris Rogers]

So, like, you are on the phone and the deaf person sitting next to you?

[Freddie Dulesi]

No. So a deaf person calls me on FaceTime and I, like, answer the phone, and then I just call a hearing person for them.

[Chris Rogers]

Okay, let's do it. Let's mimic a call. Let it ring one more time.

[Michael Good]

Hello.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you.

[Chris Rogers]

Are you white or black?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wait, they're not blind. I keep thinking that they're blind talking. What is wrong with my brain today?

[Freddie Dulesi]

If that was the case, they would have called themselves.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the is wrong with me now?

[Freddie Dulesi]

I'll tell you. Like, it's like. Like, a woman will call or something, and she'll be like, hey, I'm calling the doctor's office. Like, set up an appointment for me. And she'll just be signing. And I'll be like, hey, yes, my name is Britney Thompson. And then, like, the receptionist would be like, you don't sound like Britney Thompson. You sound like a man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know?

[Freddie Dulesi]

And I'll be like, it's 2026, Tim Butterly. I am a man.

[Tim Butterly]

I think Tony was kind of on to something, though. Is there. Do white people and black people do sign language a little bit differently?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, black people. Black people are like, you need to have a blood transfusion. We need to go to your doctor's appointment. On the west side, are white people,

[Tim Butterly]

like, hitting the consonants hard and you guys are just, like, vibing with it?

[Freddie Dulesi]

No, white people, they sign in public. Black people sign in private.

[Chris Rogers]

Private, you know? What do you mean by that?

[Jerrell Beeman]

It's.

[Freddie Dulesi]

It's dangerous. If I'm just outside signing. That looks. It looks.

[Chris Rogers]

It's amazing.

[Freddie Dulesi]

It looks like I'm gang banging a lot. Very well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

I love that. So let me ask you this. Like, every 30 seconds, does your smoke detector go like

[Red Band]

it does?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. We need to find a smoke detector director sponsor at this point, because we are just crushing. Where are you? First alarm. Yeah, first alarm.

[Chris Rogers]

Get in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The podcast game. It's the only thing in entertainment people are actually still watching or listening to.

[Chris Rogers]

Shout out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

First alarm. Use the promo code. Kill Tony just to let them know we exist. All right, Freddy, what do you do for fun? What are your. Oh, you did hear.

[Freddie Dulesi]

I did hear that.

[Chris Rogers]

Is there a sign. Like, is there a sign for the word beep?

[Freddie Dulesi]

Beep? Yeah, no, just like beep or something like that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's the craziest.

[Chris Rogers]

What is the most shocking sign language thing? Like, I once did. I once did a show where there was a sign language person, and I said it was a. It was a white woman, and I put her on the spot and I said, white penis. And she was like, I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was a thing, right? And then I go, black penis. And then it was longer.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Yeah. It's like, why is like, white penis. Penis.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Black penis. Yeah, you know, something like that.

[Steve-O]

How about for the word enema?

[Freddie Dulesi]

Enema yeah. What the is that? That sounds like some gay. I'm not even gonna lie. What the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You are.

[Chris Rogers]

Your instincts are not that far off.

[Red Band]

You have.

[Freddie Dulesi]

I think you do. You have a dick on your forehead right now. That's absolutely insane. Right?

[D Madness]

Yeah.

[Steve-O]

I've been getting a lot of comments on my. My forehead tattoo today.

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, A lot of compliments. Tim Butterly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You.

[Steve-O]

You really don't know what an enema is?

[Freddie Dulesi]

No. Explain it to me.

[Steve-O]

Okay, it's like.

[Chris Rogers]

Like a.

[Freddie Dulesi]

You lost me.

[Steve-O]

Stick it up the butt, and you squeeze it, and you fill your butt up with water so you can blast out everything out of your butt.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Why the would I know what that is, bro?

[Tim Butterly]

He made $20 million on there,

[Michael Good]

Okay?

[Tim Butterly]

Show some respect.

[Steve-O]

Can you sign this?

[William Montgomery]

Okay.

[Freddie Dulesi]

What you want?

[Steve-O]

You stick it up your butt.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Nope, not doing it. I'm not doing it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

[Tim Butterly]

You're making doctor's appointments. You might have to know this stuff.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Yeah, but mostly for, like, STDs and, like that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Chris Rogers]

You specialize in making calls for STDs? Can you explain yourself?

[Freddie Dulesi]

I can't even laugh at that. I get paid from them, so. No, like, one. I mean, it's tough. Like, you never know what you're gonna interpret. Like, one time, I had to interpret, like, a doctor's office, and there's a deaf doctor and there's a hearing patient, and the lady was, like, signing to me outside. She's like, hey, it's gonna be quick, 10, 15 minutes, but heads up. You gotta tell this person he has cancer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Freddie Dulesi]

And I'm looking at her like, we ain't telling him shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know what I mean?

[Freddie Dulesi]

You went to school to learn how to tell someone they have. I went to school for, like, two years, and I was like, best I could do is chlamydia.

[Jerrell Beeman]

You know?

[Freddie Dulesi]

That's the best I could do.

[Chris Rogers]

So you didn't tell the guy that he has cancer?

[Freddie Dulesi]

No, I just let him die, you know, I just.

[William Montgomery]

Perfect.

[Freddie Dulesi]

I didn't. I didn't give him cancer, man. That was his plan, you know, his destiny.

[Chris Rogers]

You didn't even give him, like, a.

[Freddie Dulesi]

I was just like, yeah, that's no good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Chris Rogers]

Tim Butterly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I don't want to ask this

[Tim Butterly]

one a lot, but.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, this is kind of.

[Tim Butterly]

Does sign language have the N word?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, great question. It has.

[Freddie Dulesi]

It has the N word. I sign it all the time.

[Tim Butterly]

We'll blur it out, but can you show us?

[Freddie Dulesi]

I. I can't it's too many white people in here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Come on. I can't tell it, bro. Come on.

[Red Band]

Do you ever been beat up by deaf people?

[Freddie Dulesi]

They got the strongest hands you've ever seen, bro.

[Red Band]

All they do is practice hand muscle

[Freddie Dulesi]

strength and I can't.

[Tim Butterly]

$100 to show me the nword in sign language.

[Red Band]

Ven me right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Send it right now. Send it right now.

[Freddie Dulesi]

All right, all right. Don't do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the is rock? Matt, shut the up.

[Red Band]

Don't do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know how many talented black black guitarists there are waiting to take your spot? Matt, shut the up. Don't do it. Don't do it.

[Tim Butterly]

Well, you have a choice to make here.

[Red Band]

Well, you know what? This the thing. This the thing.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Deaf people with comedy, they. With the show. So they got even assigned for Tony and like that, they got signed for.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, I know what that is. Tim Butterly. Catch. Tim Butterly is the new guitar player on Kill. Tony. Starting next week.

[Red Band]

I'll be in Dayton, Ohio, sometime in March.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's gonna be in Dayton with.

[Chris Rogers]

What the was it? I don't know, cockroach or something. Seriously, we gotta know, what's the sign for the N word?

[Freddie Dulesi]

Are you ready?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No one wants it more than the lighting guy. Obviously, he's been putting that spotlight on you. He's back there. He's got it dialed in. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the N word. We are about to change the world. By the way, when this episode comes out. Are you ready? We are about to. Just when he thought there was less racism than ever, white people are about to learn away to call people the N word without them knowing. And here we go. The man that changed the game, the Booker T. Washington, if you will, of signing the N word. Some people are calling him the Barack

[Chris Rogers]

Hussein Obama of the sign language world. Breaking down barriers.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Ready?

[Chris Rogers]

Hope and change. This is the nword.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hilarious. We have any big joke books back there?

[Chris Rogers]

Yeah, we have. We have big joke books out back. We've run out of them here today, but.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Freddy Delesi. Unbelievable.

[Freddie Dulesi]

Freddy Das. Freddy Das. What the is a Dulesi? What is that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, you put an I at the end of your name.

[Freddie Dulesi]

No, it's not an I. It's an exclamation point.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's an exclamation point with the dot touching the line. By the way, the dot is on

[Freddie Dulesi]

the top for an eye. The dots at the bottom.

[Chris Rogers]

You're so used to signing, you don't know how to write anything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Incredible.

[Chris Rogers]

What the. A Dulesi.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I know. I Thought I was. I was expecting a Italian guy to come out.

[D Madness]

What do you want?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I could see why your last name is due less, by the way.

[Freddie Dulesi]

I do too much, as you know what it is. You know how I go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A great set, fun times, unbelievable interview. Thank you so much, Freddie. Do less. All right, final bucket pool tonight. We are. We are running deep into overtime, ladies and gentlemen. We're gonna do a quick set and a quick interview with Kendall junior To close the bucket portion of the night. Kendall Junior.

[Kendall Junior]

Y' all remember the first time he

[William Montgomery]

heard a black British guy talk?

[Kendall Junior]

It's like, you're not supposed to sound like that. Unrelated, but you ever see a girl a little too close with her dog? Thank God. I hope I ain't fucking. That's. That's all I gotta say. Meth heads, though, you know, I've been thinking. They probably do have the best pullout game. Cause of all that copper wiring, eh? But when a meth head has found the one and she's got one of those copper IUDs, they cannot help themselves. And someone wants to be a father. Now, I did know a girl once, she had so many abortions, she didn't even have a landing strip. It was just a Gaza strip.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Kendall, Kendall, Kendall.

[Chris Rogers]

You've been on this show before, right?

[Kendall Junior]

Yes, once.

[Chris Rogers]

What did we find out about you in the interview portion that I found interesting about you?

[Kendall Junior]

That I was once a super fat heroin addict.

[Michael Good]

Yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

Is there anything that's changed since your last time on this show?

[Kendall Junior]

I gained five pounds.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's.

[Kendall Junior]

It's a mess. No, no, there's nothing. I got in a. Like, my car got like rammed into. It's crazy. Outside of my house. Had to get a new one.

[Chris Rogers]

Who rammed into you?

[Kendall Junior]

It was a drunk guy outside of my house. Just rammed into it.

[Chris Rogers]

It was crazy.

[Kendall Junior]

I was almost getting into it with my girlfriend. So it was like a whole thing

[Chris Rogers]

you were getting into?

[Kendall Junior]

Yeah, like we were about to leave, like at 7. It happened right at 7. Supposed to get out of there. I had back surgery like crazy before, so it would have sucked because I would have, like, needed another. Another one. But it didn't happen.

[Chris Rogers]

I'll tell you this, man, you have great premises and you don't finish them. Black British guy, you're not supposed to talk like that. That in other news.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And it's like, you should have.

[Chris Rogers]

You have great setups. The copper with the meth head, you think when they find an IUD like you, you have this thing where you have great ideas and you're not finishing them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're taking the.

[Chris Rogers]

You're taking what would be the note

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

in the, in the book that you write like, like a set list and

[Chris Rogers]

you're just saying the thing and then you're moving on. Does this make sense?

[Kendall Junior]

No, I can understand. Yeah, I follow you.

[Steve-O]

I was ready for the meth head pulling out to be hilarious.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Rogers]

And the same with the black British guy. Like, there's so much there to draw from.

[Kendall Junior]

Yeah, yeah, no, I. I understand.

[Chris Rogers]

But you're doing what you did with your premises, what you did with meth, and you're just quitting. What I think is you should just keep going.

[Kendall Junior]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here's a little joke book, buddy. We got to keep it moving. It's been a very long episode, cuz. It's been a very, very fun episode. And we started with William Montgomery Memory. We had Dedrick Flynn. Ari. Maddie is doing so many sold out shows on the road that he's adding Monday headlining shows in different cities. It's unheard of. We've created so many monsters that they're not even available for the show anymore on a Monday, which has never happened before in the show's history. However, I do have have one last trick up my sleeve. One very, very special moment. Because your next comedian is very rarely available. He's not one of those guys that does every single week. He is as special as it gets. An anomaly, in fact, the only person ever, ever on the show in which I let him do whatever he wants. To be quite honest with you, he's scared. He scares me. I'm intimidated by him. And I hope that one day he lets me open up for him in the arenas that I already do. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a force of nature unlike anything we've ever seen before in this show's 13 year history. Ladies and gentlemen, dare I say this is Timmy Nobre.

[Timmy No Breaks]

What's up? My name is Timmy. No breaks. And welcome to Timmy ass.

[Chris Rogers]

You gotta.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Jesus fucking Christ. This guy won't let people say the N word or play the fucking guitar. This is insane. Okay, on my neck is a shock collar and in my hand is the remote. If you press this orange button, it will shock me. Now if I bomb, one of you guys will get to shock me. I won't bomb because I don't bomb. But this, this is the bombshot collar. This is fucking terrible. Now because this is a dog collar, I will give it to this lesbian bitch. Jesus Christ. No, you can't start the timer. Red band. Did you guys See during the Olympics how that girl Lindsey Von broke up.

[Red Band]

What the fuck are you doing, you dumb whore? I'm in the setup. Wait for the punch.

[Chris Rogers]

Hold it up, lady. Hold it up a little bit so that we can see it. There you go. And keep kind of not that high tone.

[Timmy No Breaks]

This is an uninterrupted minute.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Shut the fuck up.

[Chris Rogers]

I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just keep it there so that we can see when you do it.

[Chris Rogers]

This is show bizly.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Take it from the top. Here we go.

[Chris Rogers]

And action.

[Red Band]

Did you guys shut the up? Matt, I'm trying to do the minute. It doesn't even sound like the thing I'm about to say. The N word.

[Timmy No Breaks]

If you do it again, I'm going to freak out. Okay, Start the timer now. Redband here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Go.

[Timmy No Breaks]

We. We go. Did you guys see the Olympics? How that, that scare. Lindsay Vaugh? Broke a leg. You know. Sad. You know where that wouldn't have happened? The kitchen.

[Red Band]

Boom. You. What the are you doing? I did. Bob.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Relax, relax, relax. I'm going to be honest. I, I, I love the women's Olympics. I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I do.

[Timmy No Breaks]

I think every woman's sport should only be televised once every four years. Suck a dick.

[Red Band]

Boom. What the fuck?

[Timmy No Breaks]

You fucking bitch. Guys, everybody give it up for the women's hockey team. They won good gold.

[Gus Swanda]

Yeah.

[Martin Phillips]

Yeah.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Finally a positive video featuring white woman and ice. Take that, you lesbian bomb. Mercia. All right, one more. I love the wnba. I do. I really do. I'm Sherry. Yeah, I mean, it's lame that they can't dunk, you know. It's just a bunch of twos and threes. They're ugly.

[Red Band]

Bull fuck. All right.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Okay. Relax. You gotta fucking relax a little bit.

[D Madness]

Wow.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Does this guy have a dick on

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

his forehead right now?

[Timmy No Breaks]

These are getting big pops.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is she really hitting it?

[Timmy No Breaks]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why are you hitting it so much? Ladies. Having the time of her life. She has waited what appears to be 45 years to have this kind of control over a man. This is incredible. We need to get. We may have solved how to fix every blue haired woman in America. Give them one day the man in a shock collar unlimited.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Who is this guy? No, I'm serious. Who the. I know, Tim, but who the is this guy?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You don't know who you are? You mean you're just paying jackass homage?

[Chris Rogers]

I don't understand what's Jackass shock?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This. Hold it down.

[Red Band]

Stop, stop.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That thing's not working.

[Red Band]

Stop, stop.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We need to turn it up. Is there a dial on that? Is that what he taped Over. Take the tape off.

[Red Band]

My name is Timmy.

[Timmy No Breaks]

No breaks. And this is the copyright infringement. On the count of three, get it? The band will play Limp Biscuits, Nookie, and this entire episode will be demonetized.

[Red Band]

3, 2, 1, go. What the. Okay, he's trying.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, I. I turned it up to 10.

[Red Band]

Don't do. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothering. There's tape on the side of the deck. Hold on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It goes. It goes up to 15. Why did you do this?

[Red Band]

Stupid. You cut. Why'd you do this? Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

[Timmy No Breaks]

It's fine, all right?

[D Madness]

Just.

[Red Band]

If I. If I bought.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'll give it to you. I'll give it. I'll give it to the guy you don't know. He won't do anything wrong at all.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Okay, all right. Okay. All right, everybody. Everybody relax, Relax.

[Red Band]

Okay. Everybody relax.

[Timmy No Breaks]

All right? I mean, just do my next segment. All right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

15 seconds.

[Timmy No Breaks]

You're not in control anymore. This was never supposed to go past six. Hi, my name's Timmy. I'm so scared right now. Hi, my name is Timmy. No breaks. And this is the taste test. Heidi.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Inside of that cup is 3.3real, actual fluid ounces of horse cum from a man.

[Red Band]

Tone.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Your challenge is to not drink it.

[Red Band]

Red, Ben, put 30 seconds on the clock. Let's get a spotlight on cone and some dramatic music.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the fuck is this?

[Timmy No Breaks]

It's horse cum. He's picking it up to drink.

[Blake Apatow]

Really?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Looks like it's very thick.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Don't act like you know exactly what that is.

[Chris Rogers]

Steve O. Is that horse cum? Ew, there's.

[Heidi]

There's a horse pubic hair in it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm gonna throw up.

[Red Band]

Dude, don't do it, don't do it. Don't do it. You. You don't have to drink it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just.

[Red Band]

Just keep it there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay?

[Red Band]

Go to the next segment.

[Michael Good]

We'll go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, let's do the next thing.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Steveo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Go back to Steve O here. Let's just slide it here.

[Timmy No Breaks]

You had a bunch of come before this and you're full.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I told you not to.

[Timmy No Breaks]

I told you not to. He had come. He's full. I understand.

[Red Band]

I get it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Son of a. I get it.

[Red Band]

I get it.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Okay. I got one backup. I got one more.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, 15 hurts. Dustin.

[Red Band]

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

[Timmy No Breaks]

I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm going after this show. We're going to go to Mitzi's bar and I'm gonna punch you in the dick so hard that it falls off and none of the gay guys are gonna be able to suck it anymore. That's what's gonna happen.

[Red Band]

Okay?

[Timmy No Breaks]

It's fine. It's fine. Hi, my name is Timmy. No breaks. And this is trivia for retards. If you get the question wrong, and these are fifth grade level questions, you have to take a sip of Tone's tap water. Tone, you have to continue to not drink the horse cum. If you get it wrong, okay? But we're gonna up the stakes. Heidi. Give it up for Heidi, everybody.

[Chris Rogers]

That's all right.

[Timmy No Breaks]

There's no way Tone is going to be able to resist that horse. Come now. I'm just gonna reach over and do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait a second.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Shut the fuck up, Tone. I'm moving on to the questions.

[Red Band]

Okay?

[Timmy No Breaks]

All right, Steve O, let's start with you. Tone's tap water was created by A, Tone Hinchcliffe, B, Tone the Tiger, or C, Liquid Death.

[Steve-O]

I'm gonna go with A.

[Timmy No Breaks]

You do not have to drink that water. Next question is for you, tim. In a 2025 double blind, peer reviewed study conducted by independent researchers, what was found in Tone's tap water? Was it A, mercury, B, lead, C, arsenic, D, Teflon, E, Zyklon, B, F, Zyrtec, G, msg, H, blue chip, I, horse cum, or J, all the above?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

J, all of the above.

[Timmy No Breaks]

Nailed it. And you didn't have to drink that fucking piece of shit. Okay, red band for you. Where is Tone's tap water sourced? Is it A, Flint, Michigan or, Or B, all the above.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All the above.

[Timmy No Breaks]

You don't have to drink Tone's tap water. Last question. Tone, this is for you. Who flew on Epstein's private jet eight times? Was it A, Barack Obama, B, George Bush, or C, Donald Trump?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I have to buzz in for the answer.

[Red Band]

Okay, all right. Okay, all right, all right. This. I'm going to leave right here and

[Timmy No Breaks]

I'm leaving right now. Fuck you,

[Martin Phillips]

Timmy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No breaks, ladies and gentlemen. I bet 16 Hz. This episode was brought to you by Tokova's and ExpressVPN. How loud can this place get for the great Stevo? Go to Steve O dot com. He's all over the country. All over the world. The Crash and Burn Tour. He's the man. One more time for the great Tim Butterly, everybody. TimButterly.com for tickets. Columbus, Dayton, Boston. Segoma. May 23rd here in Austin, Texas.

[Tim Butterly]

Thank you very much, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Steve-O]

Amazing. Thank you, everybody. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Of course, Steve O. Anytime, all. Always. You guys are always part of the family. Red band.

[Heidi]

Check out the Sunset Strip. ATX.com Every Thursday Secret show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The drawing from Ryan Sh? Bel is in. We're at the Intuit Dome in la. We're doing a lot of crazy. You're gonna find out all about it. New York, Vegas, a bunch of crazy announcements coming up that I'm accidentally leaking right now. Let's see what Chris Rogers drew over there. Whoa, Steve O. I guess he didn't add the hair yet. Unbelievable.

[Steve-O]

Where's the dick on my forehead?

[Chris Rogers]

The hell was I going to say?

[Heidi]

Drink the c. Drink the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Drink the c. Drink the c. Drink the c. Drink the. We love you guys. Guys, thank you so much. Make sure you follow the band. Follow bonsai. Go to killmerch.com A lot of brand new merch, state of the art stuff. You're absolutely gonna love it. We love you guys. Thank you so much. Good night, everybody. Sam. Sat the Holy.