
Rich Vos, Eleanor Kerrigan, Dom Irrera, William Montgomery, Casey Rocket, Kam Patterson, Hans Kim, D Madness, Michael A. Gonzales, Jon Deas, Matthew Muehling, Joe White, Kristie Nova, Yoni, Kino Loasis, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – 03/11/2024 TONY HINCHCLIFFE @TONYHINCHCLIFE TONYHINCHCLIFFE.COM BRIAN REDBAN @REDBAN DEATHSQUAD.TV SUNSETSTRIPATX.COM Head to https://www.squarespace.com/killtony to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code KILLTONY. Get $80 off your first month at https://talkspace.com/tony w/ promo code SPACE80. Visit https://thefreezepipe.com and use code KILLTONY for 10% off your entire order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Redban
Hey, this is Redban and you're listening to the Death Squad podcast network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at desquad tv. And don't forget to check out everything
Pauly Shore
Tony Hinchcliffe@tonyhinchcliffe.com and the Sunset Strips, my new comedy club in Austin, Texas.
Redban
Go to sunsetstripatx.com and now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Rabbi
Hey, this is Rabbi coming to you live from the comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchcock. Who's ready for the best fuckin night of your go.
Redban
Yippee. Here we are, everybody. We made it. It's Red Band, everyone.
Rabbi
We're doing it again.
Redban
Congratulations. You did it. You made it. You're at the number one live podcast
Dom Irrera
in the world, Kill Tony. Brought to you by Talk Space, Squarespace, the Red Rose and the Yellow Rose. How about that? You guys happy?
Redban
How about one more time for the best stand band in the land, everybody. That's the fantastic Raul Vallejo, Fernando Castillo, Carlos Sosa, Michael Gonzalez, Matthew Mewling on the electric guitar, John Dees on the keys. And this is the great and powerful D Madness on the bass guitar right here live in the flesh. An unbelievable show, ready to rock.
Dom Irrera
Before we get it started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.
Bitty O'Laughlin
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin,
Heidi
Texas is now open.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.
Redban
Are you guys ready to start tonight's episode or what? Huh?
Dom Irrera
You guys are inverse.
Redban
How long, how many of you have
Dom Irrera
been following the show?
Redban
For a very long time. But you guys are in for a special treat on top of one of
Dom Irrera
the queens of comedy at the Comedy Store and one of the kings of comedy in New York. Also joining us is the record holder for all time appearances as a guest in the show's history. For the first time since the pandemic. Ladies and gentlemen, I am so excited
Redban
to bring to this stage Dom A Eleanor Kerrigan and Rich Boss, everybody. Make some fucking noise, Domina. Did we ever find out how many times he's been on the show? 24, 25, 26 times? How about I am for the lovely Heidi as well? Unbelievable. What a squad. And Dom Ira in the house. The great Eleanor Kerrigan with the new
Dom Irrera
special no country for Old Women out
Redban
now on the Comedy Stores, YouTube, rich
Dom Irrera
voss.com for tour dates and unbelievably cool merch. And of course, Domino, this isn't the belly room.
Redban
You're not in the belly room anymore, Dom, are you sure? No, you got to talk into the mic too. It's a podcast.
Dom Irrera
I got a lot of bellies.
Rich Voss
Thank you, nice lady.
Redban
Dom's killing it without a microphone. It's just me up here laughing. Welcome back, Dom. How did I am for Dom? You guys don't know. These Austin kids just started getting into comedy this year cuz they're hoping Joe
Dom Irrera
Rogan's going to step on their toes or something like that. Dom, how are you, my friend?
Rich Voss
Good. I couldn't be better. I mean, look at the people came out to see me. And thanks for faking laughter at these two guys because I'm the baddest on earth.
Redban
He is the baddest. Goddamn right. Eleanor Kerrigan, welcome back.
Rabbi
Hi, how are you?
Dom Irrera
Thank you for having me.
Redban
For Old Women is out now on the comedy stores.
Dom Irrera
Thank you, YouTube. And the great rich boss is back.
Redban
Ladies and gentlemen, New York Assassin. Thank you.
Rich Boss
I always have a blast doing this. I. I'm telling you, I drove from Jersey just to do this.
Heidi
All right.
Rich Voss
It's kind of sad.
Redban
You guys know how it works.
Dom Irrera
You've all done this show, especially Dom, more than anybody else ever in the show's history. Over 200. I can't even get my hands around how many people signed up tonight. They're falling out everywhere hoping to get their chance on this stage. If they get pulled out, they get 60 seconds of time to do standup comedy. They can literally become famous on the show. You know their 60 seconds is up. When you hear the sound of a kitten, that means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear.
Redban
And then I interview them and we
Dom Irrera
find out more about them and what they could talk about, what could be interesting. I've already pre pulled the name person has to run across the street to poor choices, grab them from a group full of comedy, hundreds of comedians and drag them over here. In the meanwhile, let's get the show started with one of our great regulars, everybody.
Redban
A fucking absolute thunderbolt of energy starts this show every single week now. He is a phenom freak of nature on tour with me with William Montgomery, most importantly, literally one of the most famous local comedians on planet earth. He is a superstar. I present to you 60 seconds, brand new and uninterrupted from the phenom Casey Rocket, ladies and gentlemen. And it has begun. Yeah. All right.
Uncle Laser
Nice day for A white wedding.
Redban
Okay, cool. Total silence.
Casey Rocket
We're having fun.
Kent Hunter
Hell, yeah.
Casey Rocket
Get real.
Redban
All right.
Casey Rocket
God, I feel like shit. I've been doing Ramadan, so I can't eat any Percocet till sundown, so.
Uncle Laser
Yo, crabs got the meat sweats.
Redban
All right. Very cool.
Q Rose
Hell yeah.
Casey Rocket
Lost you again.
Redban
God.
Casey Rocket
A lot of people ask me, they say, titty boy lacroix, what's the scariest drug you've ever done? And I tell them, ladies and gentlemen, the scariest drug I've ever done was falling in love. I overdosed on fentanyl last summer. Kept doing it for six more months. Beginner's luck.
Kent Hunter
Get lost.
Redban
Click, click, boom.
Casey Rocket
Come on now, fastest hands in the room. People call me the Floyd Mayweather of the Austin comedy scene.
Redban
Cause I can't read. Okay,
Casey Rocket
that's my time.
Redban
Thank you.
Pauly Shore
Casey.
Redban
Rocket. Boom. He did it again. Exactly one minute. He is a absolute superstar.
Dom Irrera
The Rocket man himself, Casey Rocket has
Redban
arrived to the scene, everybody.
Dom Irrera
Another fantastic minute. That Floyd Mayweather joke.
Redban
Absolutely. If you don't laugh at that, you might as well fucking leave now. There's people in a standby line hoping some people leave early on in the show.
Dom Irrera
Unbelievable. Rich. You ever seen anything like that before?
Rich Boss
I tell you, when I saw that missing tooth, I thought you were a boxer.
Redban
Casey, you are the man.
Dom Irrera
You've been killing it. You sell out locally. You've been on the road, crushing. How's the road been treating you?
Casey Rocket
It's been good. Been on the road. Went to Philly rally, made a couple paper. I'm all about my paper. I.
Rabbi
Okay.
Casey Rocket
It's been fun. Been riffing around the globe, putting a. Putting my money away. Putting away in stocks. Investing riffin.
Redban
Thank you.
Casey Rocket
Big stock.
Holden DeShazo
Yeah, it's been fun.
Dom Irrera
You're investing in stocks? Yep.
Casey Rocket
My two passions in life.
Brian Licata
Stocks,
Casey Rocket
Worms from Dune.
Dom Irrera
Those are the big two.
Redban
Yup.
Casey Rocket
One worm freak out there.
Redban
Love to see it. Very scary. Yeah.
Cam Patterson
But.
Casey Rocket
Yeah, I've been putting money away, so I thought it might be interesting for the interview if I could pitch some stocks to you guys. I've been. That sound good to everybody. I put you a couple stocks.
Redban
Okay. Yeah, I like this.
Casey Rocket
Let me go grab. Tony got me a Walgreens gift card. So I visualized some of these stocks I've been putting money in. I've been getting tenfold, 20 fold my money. So I'm gonna show you guys a
Holden DeShazo
couple stocks real quick.
Redban
Okay.
Dom Irrera
He's gonna grab his Walgreens photos.
Heidi
Is this a seminar?
Redban
Oh, my goodness.
Dom Irrera
This is incred.
Redban
This is a true presentation. I don't think we've ever had anything
Dom Irrera
like this on this show before.
Redban
Ever.
Dom Irrera
We've been doing this show 11 years. I've never. Oh, my God.
Redban
He has a jacket. Oh, my God.
Dom Irrera
Oh, yeah.
Rich Voss
He's more of a writer.
Casey Rocket
So, as most of you know, stocks are big this time of year, especially around the holidays. I've been. These are a couple stocks. I. But I got two stock picks. If you guys pick on these stocks, I have no affiliation with them whatsoever. Doesn't matter to me. But you can make a pretty big coin. Stock number.
Holden DeShazo
No.
Casey Rocket
Stock number one. This is Car Racks. So it's kind of like truck nuts, but it's tits for cars,
Rabbi
so it's boobs for cars.
Casey Rocket
That's about it. But it's 2,500 doll for each boob. So nice. Even five grand. There's a PG13 version. This one's for moms. So it's got a little bra on it. It's kind of sexy to think about around the holidays.
Dom Irrera
That's incredible.
Casey Rocket
So this is what, this one actually. This is actually a good one. This is Scream Powered Cars. So this is Monsters, Inc. Technology. So that's Mike Wazowski, founder, CEO of Scream, Inc. It's actually Shrink Automotive Screak Automotive. Screaks Mod Motive. It's Scream Daily Smug Logging. And that's Mike Lubisky, he's CEO, founder. Scream in the Car, you get. It's like a Tesla. You don't charge it, just give it a good scream. You'll get 100 miles per scream, guaranteed. $5,000 per car. Not bad. These are so. Yeah, this is just a continuation of Screak Automatic. And so this is. You can get a couple ghosts on your team. You could fucking go from here to rally night.
Redban
Pretty cool.
Casey Rocket
This is number two. This is only the second stock. I'm only on the second one, so.
Redban
We love it. Take your time. Everybody likes it. This is amazing.
Casey Rocket
Going faster. This is 1-800-Guns for goose.
Redban
So
Casey Rocket
basically it's me and my friend Brandon. If you give me $100, we will give a goose a gun. And whatever happens after that just depends on how well you treated the goose before we met you. Oh, bonus stock.
Redban
Whoa.
Casey Rocket
There's one bonus stock, so technically it's three stocks. This one's actually pretty exciting. This is upscale, unhoused. So this is kind of. For too long, we've seen homeless people who aren't that sexy.
Dom Irrera
Yeah, I kind of want to put
Redban
an end to that.
Casey Rocket
So this is for $19 a day for three weeks. You can give fishnets to a homeless person, and they will stay outside your business, they will stay outside your apartment, and they're gonna be a little bit hotter than you remember them being
Rabbi
before
Casey Rocket
they put on the. So that's my stock. So pretty cool to think about.
Redban
Unbelievable presentation. In the history of the show, I've never seen anything quite like it.
Dom Irrera
So how much is it to put fishnets on a homeless person?
Casey Rocket
Oh, I should know. It was. It was $19 a day for three weeks, wasn't it? I never forget. I work hand in hand with these companies free of charge.
Dom Irrera
An unbelievable deal. I would definitely like to invest. Anybody? Eleanor?
Heidi
Yeah. I think it's like Carrot Top on meth. We need to sell this to Vegas. This is great. I love this. The stock I'm in $19. How many?
Hannah Gray
Three weeks.
Redban
Three weeks.
Rabbi
I got you.
Casey Rocket
So that's 1800 bucks.
Heidi
Plus, I want to see Nuts in
Redban
a Fishnet Rich Vaas.
Rich Boss
I'd rather invest in property in Gaza.
Heidi
You don't want to see a homeless person shit through fishnets. That'd be amazing.
Rich Boss
I don't have that kind of money.
Uncle Laser
Go ahead.
Redban
Dam.
Rich Voss
What was I saying?
Redban
I don't know.
Rich Voss
No, I mean, seriously, you learn about stocks and you still enjoy yourself. You see the hilarity in that?
Redban
I didn't know that.
Rich Voss
And I thank you. Thank you, sir. I didn't know all these little details. Plus, I learned more jokes.
Redban
Thank you.
Rich Voss
Now, you are phenomenal. You are phenomenal. I mean, I grew up watching you, and I love you.
Redban
So Don thinks you're Robin Williams right now, so that's a big compliment. That's a big compliment. We're not gonna tell him. We're not gonna tell him.
Dom Irrera
How about one more time for Robin
Redban
Williams, Ladies and gentlemen, Absolute killing. Thank you. Seriously, make some noise for Casey Rocket. Appreciate it, everybody.
Casey Rocket
Have a good night.
Redban
And like that, the show has begun. And immediately we move to the bucket. Now, this is where anything can happen. Now, sometimes it's a crazy person. It's terrible. Sometimes it's someone that is ready to become a superstar. It could be anywhere in between. They get 60 seconds uninterrupted, and then we talk to them. Oh, look who has real boobs in his hands for the first time ever. Wow, look at that. You're gonna be sucking Knows when this lesbian leaves you. I love it. She's actually going to get more turned on by the car wrecks than you. I could tell. All right, ladies and gentlemen, I'M pretty sure this is a brand new name. I would recognize it. Make some noise for your first comedian out of the bucket.
Dom Irrera
Anything can happen.
Redban
60 seconds uninterrupted for Q Rose, everyone. Q. Rose starting the show. Here we go.
Q Rose
Hey, how's everybody doing tonight, y'?
Holden DeShazo
All?
Q Rose
Right, y', all, give it up for me and my girl for three and a half years. Just found out we about to have a baby.
Redban
Yeah.
Q Rose
Kind of makes me feel bad about the cheating I've been doing lately. I'm just playing, y'.
Redban
All.
Q Rose
I don't feel bad. I love it being. I love being here in Texas, man. I'm from Texas, man. Our racism here is just. It's far superior than other states, man. I'm telling you. It's. Cause you could. It's big and small at the same time. You know what I'm saying? Like, I went to an all white neighborhood. I went to all black high school, right? And we had one white guy join the football team, right? And we called him White Mike. And it took me years to realize there were no other Michaels on the team. We could just call them, I don't know, just Mike. And it been good. All I'm saying is, wasn't even the worst nickname we had, right? We had a Mexican guy joining team, right? And we just called him Mexico. And when his cousin joined team, we just called him New Mexico. So really messed up. When I graduated, found out them niggas was Puerto Rican. It was bad. All right, thank you. I'm Q. Rose. Thanks for listening.
Dom Irrera
Q.
Redban
Rose, making his final Tony debut. Hell, yeah.
Dom Irrera
Welcome, Q Rose. How long you been doing stand up for?
Q Rose
I've been doing stand up currently about seven years. I started off in Philly.
Dom Irrera
Seven years from Philly. I love it. Eleanor and Dom are both originally from Philly.
Q Rose
I'm from Dallas, but I started out in Philly.
Dom Irrera
Oh, okay. Now they hate you. Okay.
Rich Boss
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
You had everything going for you with a passion. Wanted to get that Dallas love. And it's not now.
Q Rose
Go Birds.
Dom Irrera
It's cool. Yeah, there you go.
Q Rose
Cowboys first.
Dom Irrera
Okay, very good.
Redban
All right.
Dom Irrera
I can't remember.
Q Rose
I'll be all right.
Dom Irrera
Okay.
Rich Boss
How's the Bob Marley movie doing for you now?
Redban
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Q Rose
About as good as whatever old movie you watch.
Redban
Oh, shit.
Dom Irrera
An attempt at a roast joke there
Redban
by Q Rose that fell completely flat.
Dom Irrera
She's been doing stand up for about seven years. Originally from Philly. Are you really? Do you really have a baby on the way, actually?
Q Rose
Nah, she's about to be seven Now.
Redban
Oh, I've been doing that joke since you started. Huh? Oh, busted. Busted. Out here doing his fucking gold mater. Seven years of fucking sheen on that joint.
Q Rose
I love my baby. I'm gonna keep talking about her forever.
Dom Irrera
I love it. Seven years and you're still in her life?
Q Rose
Oh, no.
Dom Irrera
Absolutely incredible.
Redban
Unprecedented. Amazing.
Q Rose
Nah, I beat the stereotype. We good?
Dom Irrera
I love it. I love it, I love it. And you're still with the baby mama as well.
Q Rose
Okay,
Heidi
Looks like you're back.
Uncle Laser
Here we go.
Redban
Eat something.
Dom Irrera
Other than the stereotype, it appears. Where's she at? Where's the baby mama?
Q Rose
Nah, nah. She's up in Detroit. You know, we met in the military, so.
Dom Irrera
Met in the military. What branch of the military?
Q Rose
Air Force. I'm an Air Force veteran.
Dom Irrera
Okay. Black Hawk down.
Rich Boss
They don't go down.
Redban
All right. Black. Well, I mean, Kobe Bryant.
Kent Hunter
Oh, no.
Dom Irrera
A helicopter crash joke.
Kent Hunter
Oh.
Q Rose
Oh, my goodness.
Redban
Flag on the play. No Kobe Bryant jokes allowed.
Dom Irrera
Everyone knows anything. This is hard.
Q Rose
It's hard to joke, you know, about someone. The real talent, you know.
Redban
Oh, yeah.
Dom Irrera
Are you standing up for Kobe right now?
Redban
Are you defending Kobe from the grave against me? Because you're saying. You're saying I don't have talent.
Dom Irrera
I mean, are you. Are you the spokesperson for the corpse
Redban
of Kobe Bryant right now?
Q Rose
I mean, we got a goat, and then, you know. You know, he's the goat. He's a goat.
Redban
Yeah.
Rabbi
What?
Redban
He did. I'd like to see an episode of Kill Kobe. Cause this ain't easy. It's not easy.
Q Rose
Nah, nah, it's great. Y' all both great.
Dom Irrera
I like to see Kobe do this, right?
Redban
Not easy. I'm over here.
Dom Irrera
I'm hosting. I'm trying to make jokes, keeping an
Redban
eye on Red Band.
Dom Irrera
I've had to use one of those pads you bring somebody to life with. I have those under the table just
Redban
in case Dom gives up on us here. Anything can happen. We're having fun tonight.
Dom Irrera
We're goofing around.
Rich Boss
What is there?
Q Rose
I just got a feeling if I see you do a jump shot, I'm gonna laugh even harder at your jokes.
Dom Irrera
I will fucking ball all over you, dude.
Redban
You wanna play a game of one
Dom Irrera
on one after this?
Redban
Do you even play basketball?
Q Rose
Oh, my goodness. Like, you look like a referee.
Rabbi
Like I do.
Redban
I referee, and I'm gonna referee our game, and I'm gonna call a lot of fouls on you.
Q Rose
I will murder you 111 to nothing.
Redban
I think you would murder me. I don't think you would beat me in basketball, two different things.
Rabbi
Complet?
Redban
Okay, Q. Rose. So let's talk about it.
Dom Irrera
You've been doing stand up. Where do you live now?
Q Rose
I live in Dallas. I live in Dallas.
Dom Irrera
How do you make a living?
Q Rose
I run an activity center. I own an activity center.
Dom Irrera
What kind of activity center exactly?
Q Rose
So you can get full court basketball in the back court in the backyard. You know what I'm saying?
Redban
Oh, you know what? If you're running a activity center with a basketball court, maybe I'll play in table tennis or something like that instead.
Q Rose
I got that, too. But I'll murder your beer pong, though.
Redban
For real?
Dom Irrera
Beer pong?
Kent Hunter
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Okay.
Q Rose
Any sport, Anything?
Rich Voss
Nope.
Redban
Absolutely.
Q Rose
I'm trying to figure out what I think you could get me at.
Dom Irrera
I'll beat you in paper, scissors, rocks right now.
Redban
Are you ready for this? You know how to do it now? Do you go 1, 2, throw, or
Dom Irrera
1, 2, 3, shoot?
Redban
Because you'll shoot. Billy and Dallas.
Q Rose
Yeah, we'll shoot. I went up north. They do the shoot.
Redban
They do the shoot.
Dom Irrera
One, two, shoot.
Q Rose
One, two, three, shoot.
Rabbi
Shoot.
Redban
Okay.
Dom Irrera
One, two, three, Shoot.
Redban
Okay, like that. Okay, okay, ready?
Dom Irrera
One, two, three, shoot.
Redban
One, two, three, shoot dot okay, okay. This guy's good. He's trying to get in my head here. All right, this is the part where I win.
Dom Irrera
You know what you're gonna throw.
Redban
All right, Ready? One, two, three, shoot. Boom.
Dom Irrera
It's over.
Redban
Get out of here.
Dom Irrera
All right, Q, anything crazy about your life or your history that we should know about you before letting you go? Like, craziest thing about your life?
Redban
Life?
Dom Irrera
You ever do anything? Get in trouble? Have any special skills or talents? Anything wild?
Q Rose
I mean, shoot, man. I'm shooting.
Redban
We already did shoot.
Dom Irrera
And you lost, Mr.
Redban
I'll beat you in anything.
Q Rose
Oh, I just knew you was gonna choose paper because you just so white.
Redban
But that is ridiculous.
Dom Irrera
That doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
Cam Patterson
It worked.
Brian Licata
It worked.
Rich Boss
Black comics love talking about white people crazy. They pay taxes.
Q Rose
I'm an Air Force veteran. Thank you for your taxes. All by me.
Dom Irrera
That is true. That is true.
Redban
We love you for the Air Force thing.
Dom Irrera
Okay, Q.
Redban
Rose.
Dom Irrera
Well, welcome to the show. Congratulations. Fun times. How I can't even remember what your set was like. What do we think?
Redban
Well, really, Red Band's itching to the little joke book. Here you go, my friend. There he goes. Key Rose, everybody. All right. And like that, it's on. The show has begun. You guys get it? Everybody having fun?
William Montgomery
All right.
Redban
Pulled another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Mike Ryan. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Mike Ryan. Here he is.
Mike Ryan
I don't like to make assumptions about people, but I feel like every time I've seen a homeless guy on a bicycle, they stole that bicycle. If you don't believe me, next time you see a homeless guy on a
Redban
bicycle, just yell, that's my fucking bike.
Mike Ryan
And just see how they react. I got in a fight with a homeless guy one time. I was working at this club, and he reached over the balcony, grabbed this girl's ass, so I had to shoo him away. As I was shooting him away, he said, hey, you fat. I'm gonna come back next week. I'm gonna kick your ass. I just went about my day because he's a homeless guy, but he came back the next week, looked like he put the crack pipe down because he gained about 30 pounds, solid muscle. His hands were taped up like a professional boxer, and he shadow boxed all the way up. Me, I did the only thing a reasonable human being could do in that situation, and I hit him with a bottle, and then I stole his bike. As I was riding away, somebody yelled,
Rabbi
hey, that's my bike.
Redban
Thanks, guys. Okay, 57 seconds from Mike Ryan doing
Dom Irrera
a little homeless people with bicycles thing.
Redban
How's it going, Mike?
Mike Ryan
It's good. How you doing tonight?
Dom Irrera
You've been on this show before, correct?
Mike Ryan
Three weeks ago.
Dom Irrera
How did that go for you? Remind me.
Mike Ryan
I got the big book. I did secret show camp. Patterson stopped me in the street, told me I was funny, as booked me for the regulars two weeks ago, and I'm on it again tomorrow.
Redban
Wow. Incredible. And this all started because of that
Dom Irrera
appearance three weeks ago?
Redban
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
A lot's changed in three weeks.
Dom Irrera
Tell me, what else has changed in three weeks? You look five pounds heavier.
Q Rose
Thank you.
Rich Voss
Thank you.
Mike Ryan
Now I'm on Ozempic, so I'm actually down like £50.
Dom Irrera
Okay, what else has changed in the last three weeks?
Mike Ryan
Like, I'd only been doing it three and a half months at the time. Now it's been four months. So I'd only done open mics up until that point, and now I'm getting booked, actually organized, my own show in Houston. Yeah, on the 20th. It sold out in seven hours.
Redban
Wow.
Kent Hunter
Yeah.
Redban
You sold out a show in seven hours? Yeah.
Dom Irrera
I mean, how did you do that?
Mike Ryan
I was a promoter for 12 years and a rapper, so.
Redban
A rapper? Yeah.
Dom Irrera
You rap Three weeks ago?
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Okay, we'll rap again.
Redban
Let's rap again. I want to hear your rap. I don't even remember all Right.
Dom Irrera
One, two. Oh.
Redban
Oh. They're holding me up on this one. Matt Muling's scared.
Dom Irrera
Oh.
Uncle Laser
Huh?
Mike Ryan
The microphone killer Used to be a
Rich Boss
dope dealer Now I'm just a rhyme
Redban
spiller Couldn't be real if I try
Mike Ryan
don't lie and if I gotta die
Redban
probably be a homicide Cause I'm from
Mike Ryan
Houston it's gruesome the city be a threesome or two some I'm nuisance on
Redban
his feet yeah, I'm about to do
Mike Ryan
it like you've never seen it.
Redban
I can't understand what you're. Hold on.
Dom Irrera
Stop it.
Redban
Can you guys understand what he's saying? Right?
Dom Irrera
Nobody can understand the bass and the drums. It's a little bit too loud. Why don't we try it again? A little bit softer, guys. A little bit lower, but. And you. And you enunciate a little bit harder.
Mike Ryan
Do acapella.
Dom Irrera
Do you want to do it? Let's do it. Acapella. Then the band. Sounds fantastic.
Redban
Much better.
Mike Ryan
Best band of all time. I love you guys.
Redban
All right. You pandering. Unbelievable.
Dom Irrera
I say that the best now, huh?
Mike Ryan
The microphone killer Used to be a dope dealer Now I'm just a r. Spiller Couldn't be realer if I tried don't lie. And if I got to die probably be a homicide Cuz I'm from Houston it's gruesome the city be a threesome or twosome I'm a nuisance on this be.
Dom Irrera
This is all memorized, correct?
Mike Ryan
Yeah, this is.
Redban
Yeah, yeah.
Dom Irrera
This is incredible. I could do this in my sleep. Do you know that? I could do what rappers do in my sleep. Yeah.
Mike Ryan
Tony, you're the best, man. I hate to pander again.
Dom Irrera
Kind of incredible, right? I mean, they come up with all this stuff, you know, I'm better than you in every way. The shirts, the pants. I just beat a black guy in. Paper, scissors, rock.
Rich Boss
So.
Rich Voss
So.
Redban
And you're interrupt. You're literally interrupting me while I.
Holden DeShazo
You don't even.
Redban
Fuck it.
Dom Irrera
Unbelievable.
Redban
Do you see that? I just housed him while he's talking to me.
Mike Ryan
That's actually. I wanted to. So when I did the secret squeeze
Dom Irrera
this shoehorn in your thing. Guys, stop playing.
Redban
This guy has to say whatever the fuck he's about to say right now. When I. The ozempic is going to your brain dud. This guy just lost a pound of
Dom Irrera
brain cells while he was up here. Go ahead.
Mike Ryan
When I did secret show, you showed up in the green room and you and your entourage were all wearing matching jackets. And it was like, the coolest thing I'd ever seen. And you walk in and you just roasted everybody in the room.
Redban
Matching jackets. The Are you. Every time somebody's like, hey, I need
Dom Irrera
to just tell this story, they just go into some made up.
Mike Ryan
No, dude, you had that. They were in family and friends. Kill Tony jackets.
Rabbi
Okay?
Dom Irrera
That's not matching jackets.
Mike Ryan
I thought it was really fucking cool, dude.
Cam Patterson
I'm sorry.
Mike Ryan
I was trying to give you your flowers.
Dom Irrera
How many people were in this entre? How do you remember this story? You remember four people.
Redban
Me coming in with four people, and
Dom Irrera
we're all wearing the same jacket.
Mike Ryan
No, three of you wearing the same jacket. One of them wasn't.
Heidi
Okay, outsider.
Mike Ryan
It was cool, man.
Redban
Like, watching your whole story that you
Dom Irrera
interrupted my rap for is.
Redban
I was wearing the same jacket as
Dom Irrera
two producers of the show.
Redban
Paulie Shar. Oh, my. Come in here. I needed backup.
Pauly Shore
I know you're supposed to. What's up, you guys?
Rich Boss
How's it going?
Redban
Pauly Shore, ladies and gentlemen, Comedy Store royalty.
Pauly Shore
I know you said you were supposed to bring me out when you said a certain word, but this guy. Dude, they didn't have matching. Dude, I was there, bro.
Redban
Kill Tony jacket. He says it like. We all came in wearing, like, jumpsuits, like we're about to brain dance or something like that. You and your entourage came in.
Mike Ryan
I thought it was cool as. Dude watching you.
Redban
It's the show.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
No, it's the show that you're on.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, I get it.
Rich Boss
Yeah.
Uncle Laser
Okay.
Rabbi
All right.
Mike Ryan
But watching you roast a room full of people, it was like watching da Vinci paint, bro. I mean, I was just. I love roast, and it was just really cool.
Dom Irrera
I know. You're the best performer I've ever seen
Redban
in my entire life, Mike. There you go. You got a big joke book last time.
Dom Irrera
Guess what, buddy.
Redban
You're leaving with a small one this time. Gotta do something with it. Mike Ryan, everybody. No, I'm done rapping. I'm retiring forever. It hurt my brain straight to the gullet. I just got told a fake story by a guy with a mullet. I bet he has bad breath. Here's Heidi with Liquid Death. All right, stupid, you make some noise for your next comedian. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Brian T. Lakata, everybody. Brian T. What's up, guys? What's up? What's up? How are you?
Brian Licata
So I just got married recently, right? And my wife, she's dubbed it a modern, traditional relationship, right? And that means she's got the job. But I Still had to buy the engagement ring, right? You know, and you know, I'm worried about it, right? You know, because I don't want to get divorced. And I'm talking to one of my real ginzo, you know, Italian friends, right?
Heidi
And hilarious.
Brian Licata
He was like, yo, dude, how. How are you possibly gonna stay with her for a forever, right? And I was like, I'm not, you know, like, statistically speaking, there's absolutely no way that I'm gonna make it to the end of this thing, right?
Redban
And
Rich Voss
are you interested in stocks?
Redban
But, but, but, but no.
Dom Irrera
Right?
Brian Licata
So I'm in this modern, traditional relationship with her and I was, I was, you know, she's so modern. Modern, right. And I'm so traditional. She's so modern that she paid for this trip, right? And I'm traditional. So if she didn't pay for it, I would have hit her, you know.
Dom Irrera
No.
Redban
Shut up, Brian.
Dom Irrera
Zero. What was supposed to, what was supposed to happen there exactly?
Brian Licata
Well, you know, I was in town for one more night and I didn't have much to do, so I signed
Dom Irrera
up for a show where people do stand up comedy.
Brian Licata
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Eleanor Kerrigan.
Brian Licata
Working. I'm working on my writing. Yeah. Working out the of. Very, very difficult.
Heidi
That's my tech guy. He does my videos.
Dom Irrera
Are you serious? Are you. Are you serious? Your tech guy signed up and just
Redban
ate a pile of hot on the.
Brian Licata
I mean, at least I got called.
Redban
You didn't know you were going to get called? Yeah, no one knows they're going to get called.
Dom Irrera
Have you ever seen the show before? No.
Redban
I'm going to put you through 10 minutes of hell. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. I am so sick of this. I thought it was going to go good.
Dom Irrera
I'm going to practice my writing. Why don't you practice your writing before coming on a show with a million
Redban
people watching you numbnuts?
Dom Irrera
So what do you do?
Redban
You're a video editor?
Brian Licata
Yeah. And a video producer.
Dom Irrera
Oh, a producer as well.
Redban
I make video.
Dom Irrera
What the are you producing? What do you make with your imagination, with your brain?
Redban
Tell me what you produce.
Brian Licata
Producing Dom's podcast and
Rabbi
that's why.
Pauly Shore
What's my name? What's my name?
Rich Voss
What the fuck were you thinking?
Rabbi
He's trying to get viewers. He's trying to get viewers.
Dom Irrera
Something I'm trying to give viewers.
Hannah Gray
Dom.
Dom Irrera
Dom, is this, this is your right hand man.
Redban
Dom was.
Rich Voss
Was. I don't know what he was thinking.
Dom Irrera
This is absolutely incredible. So you've never tried standup comedy before?
Brian Licata
I. I've done two minutes before.
Dom Irrera
Where? Where did you do two minutes?
Brian Licata
I don't really want to talk about it.
Dom Irrera
Well, I don't care.
Brian Licata
I didn't show two minutes on a show in Atlantic City.
Rich Voss
And is it his mother's?
Redban
This one? I have a feeling a lot of guys have done two minutes in this guy's mother's cunt.
Dom Irrera
Okay, so Brian, you signed up for the show. What did you think was going to happen? What's the best that could have happened? What did you think this show was?
Brian Licata
Well, I. I knew what it was and I knew I was going to bomb, but I was hoping to get the opportunity to at least come out here and see that I probably shouldn't do stand up.
Dom Irrera
But you also know that after the minute I interview people.
Redban
Oh yeah.
Dom Irrera
And I find out more about them. So why don't you tell me one interesting thing about you? I want to know because I know
Redban
a lot of video editors and let me tell you, some of the most boring, dull people I've ever met.
Brian Licata
Okay, so you might find this interesting. I used to shoot crystal meth in my neck.
Dom Irrera
Oh, wow.
Redban
Okay, now we're getting something.
Brian Licata
Used to you. Still used to you.
Redban
Still.
Rich Boss
You do have a big neck. So right here you look like a Argonaut.
Dom Irrera
Incredible. Yes, absolutely. D Madness.
Redban
Are you on a phone call right now? What the is going on with this show tonight? This is on a phone call. I got your guys video editor signing up for the goddamn show. 220 Many souls dying to get on this show. Signing up every week.
Dom Irrera
Some editor from la.
Redban
I was just here for one.
Dom Irrera
Oh, you live in Jersey.
Rabbi
Yes.
Dom Irrera
So you. How do you do? Dom's podcast from New Jersey.
Brian Licata
We produce it online.
Redban
Oh my God, I hate you more and more of every second that takes.
Brian Licata
Well, it's just because doesn't want us together in the same.
Dom Irrera
Shut the fuck up, Brian. So they send you the raw video file. How does this work exactly?
Brian Licata
No, we shoot it all together online and then I cut it up together.
Uncle Laser
Zoom.
Redban
It's zoom.
Dom Irrera
And then you say that you produce that. So somebody sets up Dom's camera for him, right? And you sit there and you hit record on the zoom.
Redban
And that makes you a producer?
Brian Licata
Well, it's really more of the editing aspect is.
Redban
Okay, so what do you edit? What do you edit?
Brian Licata
Well, you know, some words that you're not allowed to say anymore. So we just make sure those don't go into the show.
Redban
I'VE heard some of the words that Dom say, that you actually have a lot of work on your hand. He deserves a race.
Rich Boss
Hey, can I tell them the next act is my real estate agent?
Rabbi
Yeah.
Redban
It is incredible. It's unbelievable.
Dom Irrera
Brian, what do you think? The funniest thing you've ever done in your entire life.
Redban
Life is probably bomb here. No, come on.
Dom Irrera
The funniest thing. I mean, seriously. Here you are, you signed up for a comedy show. And I love this. You know what I get a lot of is what I. What I.
Redban
What I've heard a lot is that.
Dom Irrera
You know what I hate? What Tony does is when somebody signs
Redban
up that didn't prepare and didn't do Tony.
Dom Irrera
And Tony St. Sits there and he interviews.
Redban
Interviews them.
Dom Irrera
He should just get rid of them immediately. But I think the exact opposite, Brian. I want to keep you up here
Redban
and squeeze the absolute life out of you.
Rabbi
Oh, yeah.
Dom Irrera
I want to send you back to Jersey, human. Thank you.
Redban
You're bombed again, Brian. Every word you say, every time you
Dom Irrera
say anything, you're worse. You're digging yourself a deeper hole. I'm gonna make sure that every time you're on, you're on dating apps and things like that. You have a girl girlfriend.
Redban
No, you don't.
Dom Irrera
I'm gonna make this your bio for
Redban
dating apps and things like that. I'm gonna.
Dom Irrera
I'm gonna force this upon you. I'm gonna make fake Brian Licata
Redban
Tinder profiles. Yeah. Yeah.
Dom Irrera
And this is gonna be your bio is this interview. So tell me the most interesting thing about you, Brian, right now.
Brian Licata
Don't do it.
Redban
It's a trap.
Brian Licata
The most interesting thing about me. Me is. There's just so many things. There's just so many things.
Dom Irrera
He's moving around.
Redban
It's like an unfunny Casey rocket. Everybody, it's the challenger Rocket. Wow.
Dom Irrera
Look at him.
Redban
Look.
Dom Irrera
Look at. Look at the sadness. Searching for the words.
Heidi
This is getting worse and worse.
Dom Irrera
You know what?
Redban
I'm gonna do something we've never done
Dom Irrera
on this show before. Carrie Mitchell is the head of food and beverage here. How about a hand for Carrie?
Redban
I'm gonna make an order that we've never had before. Can I have a syringe of crystal meth? We're going to inject your neck one more time and we're going to have you.
Dom Irrera
Actually, I know a guy that drove here from Jersey.
Redban
So rich, you're gonna have to give him a ride home. The good news is you'll be able to drive when you get tired.
Rich Boss
I have 38 years sober. After that, I want to get high. He just fucked up my whole fucking life.
Redban
It's unbelievable.
Dom Irrera
Brian, you're not allowed to sign up for the show for the rest of your life.
Redban
I don't ever want to see you again. I'm gonna make sure Dom fires you. I'm gonna make sure, Eleanor, you'll never
Dom Irrera
work in show business.
Redban
And by show business, I mean recording other people's Zoom podcasts again. Blacklisted, Tony. Blacklisted here is actually. You get no joke book, no keychain, no Harry situation book. You get nothing. I want you to leave. I want you to never come back.
Dom Irrera
You go back to poor choices across
Redban
the street and you stay there.
Dom Irrera
I want security to handle this.
Redban
He's not allowed to hang out.
Rich Voss
Wait, A permanent vote? Thank you. Thank you. What the were you thinking? Look at
Rich Boss
my.
Brian Licata
My flight wasn't until tomorrow.
Redban
What?
Brian Licata
Said my flight wasn't until tomorrow.
Redban
Okay, very good, Brian. I hate you with every ounce inside of me. I. I can't stand you.
Dom Irrera
You're one of the worst human beings in the history of the show. You're terrible. I like your gold chain, though. You can leave that.
Redban
There he goes. Brian Licata. Get him out of here. Don't clap, don't clap. Hold silence.
Heidi
Do not encourage that at all.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Fuck.
Heidi
I am sorry. I will have him execute it. I apologize.
Rich Boss
Well, you can't hang him with that neck.
Redban
Is unbelievable believable.
Dom Irrera
If you could see. I mean, like, William Montgomery signed up for a whole year without getting up.
Redban
Well, like that are getting pulled out of the bucket. So there's only one way to bring the show back to life again. Ladies and gentlemen, we have another regular. He is a sensation, a force of nature. Make some noise for Kill. Tony's own Cam Patterson, everybody.
Cam Patterson
That last nigga was terrible. So I took his chain.
Q Rose
You know what I'm saying?
Rabbi
Hey, Tony. Tony. I told you I got you, nigga. Fuck that. Nah.
Cam Patterson
Yeah, garbage ass nigga. Nigga was terrible, dawg. I'm glad it was bad. Cause my minute ain't gonna be great. All right, let's get.
Rabbi
Let's get into it.
Cam Patterson
I've been trying this shit all week. N a nobody been laughing. But I got a haircut and I'm pissed off about it. I like I look like a bitch, man. I look like a real funk nigga right now. I used to look like a real street nigga, man. Now I look like a white lady got her hands on, like a rottweiler or something. And painted his nails blue. I feel like a real funk nigga right now. My mama told me I should do it. Thought it would be a good idea, but I shouldn't trust that bitch. She's a horrible person. She had me getting ball fade until I was, like, in seventh grade. She not a good person to talk about with hair. You know what I'm saying? Okay. I told y' all I wasn't gonna be great. What I said, I said it. Somebody told me I look like. Like a High School Musical basketball star. That pissed me the fuck off. It sounded like the black Corbin Bleu. That nigga already black, dog.
Rabbi
He's already a nigga.
Cam Patterson
It can't be a black nigga. It's already a nigga already.
Rabbi
Man, that shit.
Cam Patterson
I look like. I look like that one episode of spongebob. He was like, I'm normal.
Rabbi
Goof ass nigga.
Redban
I'm done. Cam Patterson. An unbelievable minute after Brian Licata.
Heidi
No, no, no, no, no, Dominic, no, no.
Redban
You're not allowed to say the N word.
Cam Patterson
Dominic.
Redban
We're gonna have Brian edit it out if you do.
Pauly Shore
No.
Redban
Yes. You can think it, Dom. I give you permission to think the N word right now.
Rich Voss
Pussy.
Redban
I love the haircut, Cam.
Dom Irrera
Where did you get it done at? Did you go to a white Burmer?
Cam Patterson
Hell no. No, no, no. I went to a black barber, but he like. I told him to take a little bit off the top, and he just got trigger happy, dog.
Redban
Yeah.
Cam Patterson
And it started going crazy. He did a good job. I do look like a young man. Young man.
Rich Boss
I don't like that guy getting trigger happy.
Dom Irrera
Was it a drive by haircut?
Cam Patterson
It was bad, bro. I mean, I like it. It's great. It'll get better.
Dom Irrera
It's cool. For some reason, I can't remember what was. What was your hair like before? This is like, so different.
Redban
Yeah.
Rabbi
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Dom Irrera
Explain to me why it was up.
Cam Patterson
It was.
Pauly Shore
It was twist.
Redban
It was two strand twists.
Dom Irrera
Oh, that's right.
Cam Patterson
Yeah. That's what's funny about that.
Dom Irrera
I don't know this one.
Redban
Like, I got men in black. It, like, erased my memory of what your hair was like.
Cam Patterson
I'm just scanning for a bald person to take the blame.
Dom Irrera
I want to know why D said that was up. You very rarely. Of all the. That I say up here, you very rarely say that's up. I'm excited to hear why me not remembering what his hair was like before up. Is that a racial thing?
Redban
You tour with this brother every Week.
Rich Voss
He's your number one black man every week.
Redban
And you can't remember that his hair used to hang past his earring, too? The. You take my life. Thank you so much.
Cam Patterson
Oh, my God.
Dom Irrera
Thank you, sir. You are correct.
Redban
My number two and my number three black men are all you behind me. How dare I forget what my number
Dom Irrera
one black man's hair was like before. Now you got a little twist in the front.
Rabbi
I don't think my hair curl.
Dom Irrera
I got good hair now, okay?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I got good hair.
Cam Patterson
You know what I'm saying?
Dom Irrera
What do you do to it? How does that work?
Redban
Do you wear water?
Dom Irrera
Do you wear one of those, like, head. Head things at night?
Cam Patterson
N. I water? Not with this, no. I just straight. I. I wet that bit. I put a little moisturizer in it, and I just hit. You know what I'm saying?
Heidi
No, we don't.
Cam Patterson
You don't get.
Redban
No, we don't.
Dom Irrera
We don't put moisture.
Holden DeShazo
You know what?
Cam Patterson
To my.
Redban
He get it.
Dom Irrera
This guy gets it.
Heidi
Now you're hitting on me.
Cam Patterson
All right, now don't play crazy.
Rabbi
I got you.
Cam Patterson
I fought Cougars, all right?
Redban
Oh, hell, yeah. Absolutely. White cougar, meet black panther. This is incredible. A meeting of the minds over here.
Heidi
I'll take his rocks out of his pocket.
Rabbi
Oh, oh, wait a minute, man.
Redban
Oh, shit. Wait a minute.
Rabbi
I'm scared now.
Cam Patterson
I got nervous. Wait a minute. I got cold feet.
Redban
I love it. What else is going on, Cam?
Dom Irrera
What else is exciting in life?
Redban
Anything else ain't shit.
Cam Patterson
Just been running around. My auntie. My auntie is not exciting. My auntie been not out of the hospital. My BB and shit. So I've been going back home, checking on my auntie and shit.
Dom Irrera
So your auntie is in and out of the hospital with diabetes?
Cam Patterson
No, not that. I mean, that is one of the things, but not the one.
Redban
God damn. I thought I heard diabetes. I'm sorry. It was a little bit.
Dom Irrera
I don't have a translator here.
Redban
Don keeps mumbling the N word, so I'm having trouble hearing right now. The audio in my right ear is a little bit muffled right now. He's thinking it so hard that I can hear it. I know his lips aren't moving, but he's thinking the N word so hard that I can physically hear it.
Dom Irrera
It.
Redban
He can just said he can see it on the back of his head. It's appearing like some type of digital
Dom Irrera
artwork or something like that.
Rich Voss
I won't even say the letter anymore. I'll just say, you know what? I'M not allowed to say it.
Dom Irrera
Have you ever been called the nword by a white guy?
Uncle Laser
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Where does that happen at?
Cam Patterson
I got. When I was in. When I was in seventh grade, a white boy called me a. And me and my homeboy was. Almost almost killed him.
Redban
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Yeah.
Rich Boss
What did you do, huh?
Redban
We just beat. We beat.
Cam Patterson
We beat the out of him on the stairs. I can't fight real good. My homeboys can fight real good.
Redban
Yeah.
Cam Patterson
So when they got him on the ground, started kicking the out on, you
Redban
know, teamwork made a dream work, baby. You feel me? Absolutely. 100%. 100%. Well, we love it, Cam.
Dom Irrera
Another.
Redban
Another fantastic performance. You did it again. Brought the show right back to life like he always does. The phenom Cam Patterson back at it again. Hell yeah. The best.
Dom Irrera
Oh, you want the chain back?
Redban
Oh, make some noise for your next comedian, Biddy o'. Laughlin.
Dom Irrera
Everybody.
Redban
One more time, Everybody for Bitty O'. Laughlin. Everyone. Make some noise for Bitty, everyone. 60 seconds uninterrupted.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Hi.
Dom Irrera
Hi.
Bitty O'Laughlin
My name's Bitty. I'm from Australia and my pronouns are fuck off. I'm Irish Australian, and I don't drink anymore. So my ancestors are pissed and they're pissed. I'm a single. I was a real mom. Didn't find out the sex of my baby when I was pregnant, but I was kind of hoping for a miscarriage. At 20 weeks, I was convinced I was having a boy because I was sitting on the couch still waiting for him to make a move. And at 10 weeks, I didn't get that test to find out if my baby had down syndrome because I didn't care. I would have raised it. If my kid had an extra chromosome, I would have taught it to say funny things like when people say, we met before they could go, nah, I've just got one of those faces. I had a beautiful girl and I called her Dolly because she likes singing and boobs. Her first word was data. I was like, where? I would.
Redban
There you go all the time for Bitty Everybody Video Laughlin, a great Kill Tony debut. Welcome, welcome. Very funny. I could tell by your performance that you do not edit any videos. Remember that? Idiot. All right, Bitty, welcome.
Dom Irrera
How long you been doing stand up?
Bitty O'Laughlin
I started 14 years ago, but then I had had like a nine year break after a couple of years and I just got back into it before the pandemic.
Dom Irrera
14 years. What made you take a nine year break?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Well, I fell into bed with too many comedians and developed alcoholism.
Redban
Ah, okay.
Dom Irrera
And Your alcoholism stopped. Your comedy?
Bitty O'Laughlin
No, the alcoholism kept going, but I stopped doing comedy and, you know, stayed away from comedians.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Cheers.
Dom Irrera
Gotcha.
Redban
Absolutely. Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Imagine many drinks it would take to this guy.
Redban
Incredible.
Dom Irrera
Absolutely. So, Bitty, you still live in Australia?
Bitty O'Laughlin
I do.
Dom Irrera
Okay. What part?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Adelaide.
Redban
Very nice.
Dom Irrera
And is there a comedy club there?
Bitty O'Laughlin
There are two, and I don't get on one of them.
Dom Irrera
Right. What are they called again?
Bitty O'Laughlin
The Rhino Room and the Cranker.
Dom Irrera
The Cranker.
Bitty O'Laughlin
The Cranker.
Redban
Okay.
Dom Irrera
And what do you do for living?
Bitty O'Laughlin
I go busking on the streets, like singing for money. And I have single mother benefits at the moment.
Dom Irrera
Busking?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
So that's like street art.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Okay, can you give us an example of what you do out on the streets? How many? You want to see what Bitty does on the streets?
Redban
Just a little showcase of your talents here.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Well, I don't have my guitar with me.
Dom Irrera
You play guitar?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Yeah. Play guitar and sing.
Dom Irrera
Like acoustic or electric?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Acoustic.
Dom Irrera
Can you play with an electric?
Redban
Yeah, you can? Would it be good?
Dom Irrera
Why do you say no?
Bitty O'Laughlin
No, it'd be okay.
Dom Irrera
So you need a guitar?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
You can't just sing?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Oh, I can sing.
Dom Irrera
Okay.
Redban
Can you tell us what chords look like?
Dom Irrera
You know, what chords you singing? I'm gonna end up doing this better than you.
Redban
This is a theme tonight.
Dom Irrera
Anything you can do, I can do better.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Do you know, do you know.
Redban
Redman's already got your Instagram up. He's looking at videos of you saying, I've actually followed her for a while.
Uncle Laser
Yeah, I know who she is.
Redban
Wow, look at that.
Dom Irrera
Creepy.
Redban
This is my partner, everybody. 11 years, years we've been doing this together.
Dom Irrera
How did you end up following her?
Redban
Do you know she was recommended by somebody recently? How'd you meet that guy?
Bitty O'Laughlin
At the Comedy Store in London, many years ago. Yep.
Heidi
It's a place.
Dom Irrera
Yeah, it's not a real Comedy Store.
Redban
A lot of people don't know that.
Dom Irrera
It's just stole the name from a very famous comedy club. The Comedy Store.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Yeah.
Q Rose
In la.
Dom Irrera
Very odd that they would call themselves that. A very bold maneuver. I wonder what this story is with that. Probably allowed to do it because they're British and international.
Redban
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Weird.
Heidi
It's in Australia as well, right?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Yeah, they got one in Sydney.
Dom Irrera
The Comedy Store in Sydney.
Redban
God.
Dom Irrera
Bunch of unoriginal ass countries. It's incredible.
Redban
Can't come up with a single idea on your own.
Dom Irrera
That's why we dominate you with our military anytime we want. How old's your kid now?
Bitty O'Laughlin
She's nearly three.
Dom Irrera
Dolly is nearly Three. Where's Dolly at tonight?
Bitty O'Laughlin
She's getting babysat by a lady off care.com.
Redban
wow.
Dom Irrera
Here in Austin, Texas?
Heidi
No.
Dom Irrera
So you just found a random lady?
Bitty O'Laughlin
Well, you have to pay, so I figured they vetted them. And she also said she didn't think Hannah Gadsby was funny, So I was like, you'll do.
Rabbi
Yeah, I like that.
Dom Irrera
I like that. That's. That's a great test to make sure if it's a good nanny. As long as they think Hannah Gatsby's not funny. Okay, let's sing something. What do we got here?
Redban
You want to name a song or
Dom Irrera
a chord or a.
Redban
Anything.
Dom Irrera
Just say anything, really. You want to go acapella, and then they'll follow you.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Yeah, right.
Redban
Okay, let's do that.
Dom Irrera
You want me to sing the song for you? What.
Bitty O'Laughlin
What about. Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, baby. You know that one?
Dom Irrera
Wow.
Redban
Look at that.
Dom Irrera
That's incredible.
Redban
I know that. Lovely.
Dom Irrera
You do?
Redban
I don't know it that well.
Dom Irrera
1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe Given that you don't know by now it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, baby babe. It'll never do somehow when the rooster crow at the break of dawn look at you when away and I'll be gone. You're the reason I'm a traveling on but don't think twice. It's all right.
Redban
So a little break in between the verses here.
Rabbi
Well, it ain't no use in calling out my name, boy like you never done before. Well, it ain't no use in calling out my name, boy I'm on the dark side of your door.
Redban
Unbelievable. So much fun. Vinnie, I love your style.
Dom Irrera
I love your energy.
Redban
Fantastic stuff. If you're in town Thursday, I would love to have you on the secret show. Boom. You're both.
Rabbi
Changed my flight.
Redban
Here's a big joke, though.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Amazing.
Redban
Oh, there you go. Michael caught it for you. It's good. The books, they spin the other direction when they're Australian.
Hannah Gray
Please.
Redban
How about one more time for the new. Great video, Laughlin.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Thank you so much.
Redban
Biddy. B I D D Y Follower Online Viddy o' Laughlin. B I D D Y O L O U G H. Adorable. What a fun performance. Oh, my goodness. How about a hand for the lovely Heidi, everybody? Just incredible. Gina with three A's. H.G. i do believe.
Dom Irrera
Right?
Redban
Gina with three A's, H.G. if you guys want to follow her on Social Media. It's very hard, but go ahead and try. All right, your next comedian, 60 seconds, uninterrupted. Goes by the name of Kent Hunter, everybody. Kent Hunter. Here we go. Anything can happen.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I was listening to this 2 Chain song the other day, and he said, pussy was so good, I missed my flight. And I'm not impressed. Because for those of you who don't know, 2 Chainz is a black pothead rapper. Pussy or not, he was never gonna make that fl. But what would impress me is my grandfather gets the flights three hours early. He looked at me and said, pussy was so good, I missed my flight. I'd be like, what? Tell me Gram Gram got that good shit. Are you serious? That joke's actually been doing really well recently. I thought about calling her up, letting her know, like, hey, your pussy's a crowd pleaser. My dad, he calls weed dope. That bothers me a little bit. Cause the only people who still say dope are old people talking about drugs and 12 year olds when they get a Minecraft T shirt for Christmas. So now I don't know if my dad's getting old or if my mom's a pedophile. Thank you, guys. I'm killing her.
Redban
Kent Hunter.
Rich Boss
There we go.
Dom Irrera
What an unbelievable performance. I mean, I have absolutely love that set. That was fantastic. Well paced, well executed. You've been on this show before, correct?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yes, sir. It's number four.
Dom Irrera
This is your fourth time on the show. You always look different.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I know.
Dom Irrera
Are you the shaky lady?
Redban
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Very famous in the history of Kiltoni. It turns out he's always.
Dom Irrera
He always has a different disguise.
Redban
Tonight he's got a new mustache and a backwards hat.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Got the mullet today.
Dom Irrera
Oh, okay. Everybody's getting their mullets on nowadays.
Redban
I love it.
Dom Irrera
This is incredible. We had a fat guy with a mullet on earlier. Very rare treat.
Heidi
Good rapper, though.
Redban
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Hell of a rapper. Kent. Welcome back to the show.
Redban
I love that minute.
Dom Irrera
You. How. How long have you lived in Austin?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Year now.
Dom Irrera
How long you been doing standup?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Two years now.
Dom Irrera
Two years. Fantastic performance for a two year. And all of your sets have been good on the show, right, sir?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yeah, thankfully I try, you know.
Dom Irrera
Look at that little smile coming through. Such a tough guy.
Rich Boss
Rich Voss, like, are you sure that you can't wear a football helmet with a chin strap?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Why is that?
Rich Boss
Because you don't have a chin.
Dom Irrera
That is true. He does not have a chin. His neck goes up to his bottom lip. There's nothing this Is the second comedian who could not hang himself.
Redban
That's how they're building him nowadays. You know, so many comedians.
Dom Irrera
Comedians have hung themselves that they're now evolving to.
Redban
It's a thing that's happening trying to
Dom Irrera
prevent in real life as the. The comedians of the future cannot hang themselves. However, I think we can figure out
Redban
a way for Brian Licata to get some help. We're going to really tighten it up, figure it out.
Dom Irrera
Not you, though. No. Hanging yourself for you. So remind us, what do you do for work, Kent?
Redban
I work at HEB Heb American hero right here. Right when he couldn't possibly get any more likable, he worked at the absolute
Dom Irrera
staple of Texas, the greatest grocery store to ever exist. H E B. And what do you do at H E B?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I stock shelves.
Redban
You stock what?
Dom Irrera
What better job for you than stocking shelves? You have the height, you have the everything going for you. I noticed you famously had shaky legs. I'm not really seeing it tonight, are they? Oh, yep, there they are.
Redban
All right. Yeah. Little earthquake over there.
Dom Irrera
There it is. That's the noise. Michael's got the sound effects over there. When you hear that rattling cow, that
Redban
means we got shaky legs.
Dom Irrera
Look out. There they are, everybody. Is there any other time in your life where your legs shake from nervousness?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Whenever I'm really nervous or scared.
Dom Irrera
But it doesn't happen during your minute, does it?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
No, I'm comfortable with my minutes.
Dom Irrera
You're comfortable with your minutes. You're comfortable doing standup. It's this interview part that gets the best of you. What is the question that you're so afraid that I would ask?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I don't know. I'm just.
Redban
Michael, you keep an eye on it over there. I want to know because I can't see.
Dom Irrera
I got Eleanor and Rich leaning forward over here.
Redban
I need. I need to know. No, you're good. Go ahead, Mike.
Dom Irrera
I want Michael to let me know when.
Rich Voss
Oh.
Redban
Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, I saw that one. Who? All right.
Dom Irrera
What are you afraid of me asking? What makes you so nervous during the interview part? You're a likable guy.
Redban
You're very nice.
Dom Irrera
You have HEB of hiv. You have everything going for you. What makes you nervous?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I'm just not that good with improv. Off the rip. So I'm just. I trust my minute. I know it's going to be funny. Where? I don't know if I'm going to be funny in the interview.
Dom Irrera
You're doing just fine, dude. After. Brian.
Uncle Laser
Thank you.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Thank you.
Redban
After we Had Brian Lakata up here. I don't know about you guys, but this guy's Richard Pryor in the interview portion of me right now. You're doing just fine, buddy.
Dom Irrera
Just relax a little bit. Look at those legs. One of the all time greats. The most veteran guest out of our history of guests. What do you think about this guy?
Rich Voss
Motherfucker. What do I think, man? I think he's got an attitude problem. Yeah, Me? Fuck you, man.
Rabbi
You want a piece of this?
Redban
Sorry I snapped on you.
Dom Irrera
It was perfect.
Redban
As long as you don't call him the N word, we're good. You are fantastic.
Dom Irrera
I love it. So what else is going on in your life, Kent? It's been a while since we've seen you.
Kent Hunter
It has.
Dom Irrera
You've been hooking up with a lady, you human vibrator you.
Redban
Yes,
Dom Irrera
you giving him the old fucking shaky third leg, huh? You ever get inside of girl and
Redban
just picture me asking you questions?
Dom Irrera
Hello.
Redban
Hi, Kent, it's me. And then she just, she loses her mind, right?
Dom Irrera
You turn on that shaky leg and
Redban
the bitches just go crazy. Eleanor's into this?
Heidi
Oh, boy. I would come in an instant.
Dom Irrera
Great.
Heidi
Do you get nervous during sex? Does that, that happen?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Completely honest? Yeah, I haven't had sex.
Redban
Wait, you're a virgin?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yeah, I am. Yeah.
Redban
No bucktail.
Heidi
You want to see if it works?
Redban
Yeah. Eleanor's ready to go. Eleanor's ready. We're going to take some of Cam Patterson's hair moisturizer, spray it down there and we're going to be ready to go. We're going to oil the little tin man she's got between her legs. That pussy's like, need oil.
Rabbi
It just squeaks a little. But then once you get in there and start fucking shaking, comes right open. Sorry.
Redban
I love Eleanor.
Heidi
Trust me, I know. I had this in me earlier.
Rabbi
Trust
Redban
in the back. Yeah. The can realized why it was called liquid death all along. It's like, oh, this is what true death is like.
Rabbi
I'm dying in here.
Redban
Luckily, there's enough space for me to breathe in here. Lot of black men in Philly.
Dom Irrera
So explain to us, how old are you, Kent?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
20.
Dom Irrera
20 years old now. Are you a religious guy? How do you maintain your virginity looking like this?
Redban
Apparently you're a good looking guy. I'm not buying into that. There's a lot of monsters that have
Dom Irrera
been on this stage that have gotten before.
Redban
But I want to know what's going on here.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I don't know, I'm just very, very awkward.
Dom Irrera
Yeah. Tell us, what's the closest you've gotten? Have you gone down on a girl?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I have not.
Dom Irrera
Have you. Have you had a girl go down on you?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I have not.
Dom Irrera
You're into girls, though. You're positive about that? What kind of porn do you jerk off to?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Lesbian.
Redban
All right, all right. I like this guy. We're getting somewhere. Yeah. Hit that lesbian beat. Hell yeah.
Rich Voss
He lit up. He lit up, didn't he?
Redban
He really did. He really did. There's some lesbians in the audience. I. I beat a guy in rock paper scissors earlier.
Dom Irrera
They both threw scissors.
Redban
Every time.
Dom Irrera
Okay, so you've never gone down on a girl? A girl's never gone down on you? Have you made out with a girl?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yes.
Dom Irrera
Okay, When's the last time you made out with a girl?
Hannah Gray
Ah,
Kent Hunter (same as K)
yeah, before I moved here.
Dom Irrera
It was before you moved here.
Kent Hunter
How long ago?
Dom Irrera
A year ago.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Really? You've never kissed a girl in Austin?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Oh, I actually I kissed a girl on your show the first time I got picked.
Dom Irrera
Oh, okay.
Redban
Yes.
Dom Irrera
Okay.
Rich Voss
It was red band.
Brian Licata
Dom.
Redban
I rare in the house, throwing. Oh, my goodness.
Dom Irrera
I love it. Good to see you guys.
Rich Voss
Good to see you.
Redban
You're killing it, Dom. You're killing it. Yo, Dom. Available now if you like a well edited Zoom podcast.
Rich Voss
Look at me. Look at me. What do I care?
Heidi
Oh, boss and I have been on it.
Dom Irrera
Oh, you've been on Dom's show?
Redban
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Okay. Absolutely.
Hannah Gray
Really?
Dom Irrera
You've been on it?
Redban
So you zoomed in?
Rich Boss
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Okay.
Redban
You say it like you did something.
Dom Irrera
Feel like you took them 45 minutes
Redban
to have a phone call with Dom Herrera. Oh. Oh, it's the Disney oh, Dom show. We're here for another episode of Yo Dom.
Dom Irrera
Here we. I love it. Okay, so when's the last time you were on a date with a girl? I want to try to get you laid, Kent. I know.
Redban
Isn't that the right move?
Rich Boss
Get me laid.
Redban
No, no, that's impossible. We're gonna stick with Kent here.
Dom Irrera
So let me ask you this. What would you be your move? You go on a date with a girl, you have your own apartment?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
No.
Dom Irrera
You have a roommate?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yes.
Dom Irrera
Do you have multiple roommates?
Redban
I do.
Dom Irrera
How many roommates do you have?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Three.
Redban
Okay.
Dom Irrera
How many bedrooms in this place?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
It's a four bedroom house.
Dom Irrera
Four bedroom house. You have three roommates. So every bedroom is taken?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yes.
Dom Irrera
You have your own bathroom?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
No.
Dom Irrera
How many people share your exact bathroom?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Me and the guy across from me.
Dom Irrera
One other guy across from you. This is. This is a problem.
Q Rose
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Okay.
Redban
Oh, J. What'd you say?
Rich Voss
Turning us on. I got a boner in.
Redban
I almost did a spit take there, John. That was close. I did not see that one coming. Is the fourth bedroom empty? Like, can you. Like, is that.
Dom Irrera
There's somebody in everyone?
Redban
Yeah. Red band's terrible at math. Four bedrooms, him and three roommates. Red band.
Dom Irrera
That's.
Redban
That's four. That's a total of four. Everybody thought it was three. No one needs your excuses.
Dom Irrera
So, Kent. What? Have you ever gotten a girl back to your place?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
No.
Dom Irrera
No, never.
Redban
Have you gone on a date since being in Austin?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yes.
Dom Irrera
What did you do on this date?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Ended up being really awkward. We were supposed to go to food trucks and then have, like, a picnic in the park with the food truck from the food truck.
Dom Irrera
Smart.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
And we got to the food truck place and she wasn't hungry,
Redban
so we
Kent Hunter (same as K)
ended up just going to the park and it was. Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Did you think about taking her to perhaps anything else?
Redban
You just went and sat in a park?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Well, originally we were going to do mini golf.
Redban
Okay.
Dom Irrera
What happened to mini golf? She didn't want to do that.
Rich Boss
She had no arms.
Redban
She had very shaky arms. Yeah, I don't know.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
At first she was down for mini golf and then just changed her mind and wanted to do food instead. So she wanted to do food and then wasn't hungry?
Dom Irrera
Yeah, and then wasn't hungry. How long did you hang out in the park with this broad?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
About two hours.
Dom Irrera
About two hours. And you talked about what? Your life and stuff. So you're like. Like, what do you. Do you have siblings?
Uncle Laser
She.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
She has no clue about comedy and was trying to ask me comedy questions, which was quite annoying.
Dom Irrera
Yeah, that's the worst.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
She was asking me, like, how to write a joke.
Uncle Laser
Oh, I know.
Redban
Jeez. I'm probably gonna pull her out of the bucket next. This is terrible. This is terrible.
Heidi
Did you go on a date with Brian Licata?
Redban
Yeah, exactly.
Dom Irrera
So how do you edit a video? So wait, you just hit the button that says record in the corner and then what? That's it.
Redban
Oh, I hate him so much. Oh, I just.
Kent Hunter
My.
Dom Irrera
My hatred boils over.
Redban
My loins boil.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Not you.
Redban
No, not you. Poor Kent up here. Old shaky legs like me. No, we're talking about a guy from earlier. There was always leg shaking. Oh, sorry, Ken. Sorry to scare you there, little buddy. I like you, Ken. I like you a lot.
Dom Irrera
The shelves are always stocked at hb.
Redban
I have no reason to hate you. You're the man. Everything's always pushed to the front, everything's always perfectly stocked. I mean, it's right there. You ever notice that somebody takes something off a shelf that his story just
Dom Irrera
runs right up with a replacement?
Redban
Okay, so are there any single ladies in the audience? Clap your hands together.
Heidi
Yeah.
Redban
Okay. Who was that? Who was that? Stand up and do it again. Stand up. Who did that? Stand up. Oh, shit. Okay, Ken, what do you think? You see that out there?
Dom Irrera
You can't see.
Redban
I don't think it matters, Ken. You see her now?
Rabbi
Oh, she's cute.
Heidi
Cute.
Dom Irrera
Did you sign up?
Redban
You did? What's your name? Hannah Gray. And you're single?
Dom Irrera
If you,
Redban
if I give you a minute, will you go on a date with Kent?
Hannah Gray
Yeah.
Redban
Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, put that mic in the mic stand. Put the mic in the mic stand and stand backstage. I'm going to bring you back out here in a second. There goes Kent Hunter. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is how the magic happens. These two to right now. Look at this. The romance is in the air. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, doing 60 seconds, uninterrupted from the audience, a representative of your own. Make some noise for the Kill Tony debut of Hannah Gray.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Yeah.
Rabbi
What's up, Austin? Hell yeah.
Hannah Gray
So I'm divorced and retired for the same reason. The good old gay United States Navy. What's up? No, it's fun. It's fun being a white woman looking like this though because like, you know, I got a white woman up. My military experience, like, you know, I got that ptsdizzle.
Mike Ryan
What?
Rabbi
What?
Hannah Gray
You know, my only black friend told me, you know, it's okay as long as I don't add er to it. It, it's fine, it's fine. The other key one is I got kablamzoed in the sandbox. Sounds a lot cuter than an IED in Iraq. Guys, what's up? It's fine. No, the other one is like getting back out on the dating apps and shit like that. Fellas, don't know who the taught you how to slide into DMs, but hey, what's up 10 inches, question mark? Sounds more like a Subway ad. Maybe that's just me. The other one that's fun is like a lot of guys just peg me question mark and it's like I'm the last bitch you want going near your household. I don't know about it, but thank you.
Redban
Okay. Very likable, well executed minute. I love that.
Dom Irrera
Have you done stand up before?
Hannah Gray
Yeah, I do it in Colorado.
Dom Irrera
In Colorado. What part of Colorado?
Hannah Gray
Denver. Actually.
Dom Irrera
Okay. Yeah, my.
Redban
Absolutely.
Hannah Gray
My friend who did really good on the show said I could shout him out if I did. Okay. So, Brian Sullivan. What's up?
Redban
Okay. You really wanted to get that out of your system, Rich.
Rich Boss
Boss, this is great. Two people who have never been on a date are gonna meet tonight.
Redban
Yeah.
Hannah Gray
Yeah.
Redban
And they're both a little bit shaky. You're a little nervous too. I hear it in your voice. Yeah. Eleanor Kerrigan.
Hannah Gray
This is.
Heidi
Is love on the spectrum.
Rabbi
This is.
Redban
Oh, wow. No doubt about it.
Rabbi
Good.
Redban
No doubt about it. I love your style. I actually.
Dom Irrera
Me and my entourage wear the same
Redban
jacket sometimes, and we go, you know, what the.
Dom Irrera
What the Was that?
Heidi
Tony's in the T. Bir.
Dom Irrera
It's incredible. I love your style. So what branch of the military were you in?
Hannah Gray
The Navy.
Dom Irrera
The Navy, Absolutely. What did you specialize in there?
Hannah Gray
Oh, hell yeah. I fixed airplanes.
Heidi
Nice.
Dom Irrera
Okay. Airplanes in the Navy.
Hannah Gray
It was like the Air Force, but not okay. Yeah, they told me I was too fat, so the Navy hit me on the way out, like, oh, my goodness,
Redban
let's go to boot camp. Look at that.
Dom Irrera
All right. Less gravy, more Navy. You know what I'm saying?
Rabbi
Exactly.
Redban
I love it.
Dom Irrera
I love it. So what do you do for work now?
Hannah Gray
I'm a software engineer.
Dom Irrera
Okay, Absolutely. I see why you. There's some shaking. I could see why that would exist. What exactly do you do with software?
Hannah Gray
So I build apps. I'm actually building a comedy app.
Dom Irrera
Right. Is that a half skirt?
Redban
Half.
Dom Irrera
What is that?
Redban
What is that exactly.
Hannah Gray
I got it off, like, an Instagram store, and, you know, it was just.
Dom Irrera
Is that what you thought you were. Were buying? Not really.
Hannah Gray
It's kind of like a wish.com situation.
Rich Boss
Did you buy that from a gay gladiator?
Dom Irrera
Yeah, it looks like Cam Patterson's barber
Redban
took scissors to it or something like that.
Dom Irrera
This is amazing. What else are you into, Hannah? What do you do for fun?
Hannah Gray
I grow mushrooms, if we can't tell.
Redban
Hell yeah. All right.
Dom Irrera
You grow a lot of mushrooms?
Hannah Gray
Not a lot. I just started, but, like, they're pretty easy.
Dom Irrera
How often do you do mushrooms?
Hannah Gray
Pretty consistently, Honestly,
Redban
the note she just hit there.
Hannah Gray
Not every day.
Dom Irrera
Okay, and so you're single right now and you're in Austin for a bit?
Hannah Gray
Yeah, for the week.
Dom Irrera
Okay. Let's bring Kent Hunter back up here.
Redban
Kent, here he comes. Oh. Oh, there he is. Kent, I got good news for you. I found a girl that's definitely hungry. This one is going to be. I got the bad news is she's not going to want to go to the park afterwards. Food trucks.
Dom Irrera
Only for this one. Then you take her straight back to your place. You rush her past your roommates.
Redban
Yep. Just hop and skip and a jump. And then you throw her right down that pipeline. You know what I'm saying?
Dom Irrera
Kent, how do you feel about this situation? Have you ever lost your virginity to a girl with PTSD on mushrooms?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
That I can't say that I have.
Dom Irrera
Well, she's gonna turn your software into hardware real quick.
Redban
I do believe. I think you have a chance here. Are you willing to go on a date with Hannah?
Dom Irrera
Hannah Gray?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Sure.
Redban
Okay. Doesn't seem excited about it. Let me ask you again. We'll edit that one out.
Dom Irrera
Ken, do you want to go on
Redban
a date with Hannah?
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yeah.
Redban
I love this. What night are you free this week, Kent? This guy, this picky, choosy.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
I think Thursday.
Redban
Thursday?
Dom Irrera
Is Thursday good for you.
Hannah Gray
Works for me.
Dom Irrera
Works for you.
Redban
All right, you know what? I'm going to set this up.
Dom Irrera
I'm going to get you guys. I'm going to get you guys. What's. What?
Redban
What? Yeah, I'm going to send them to the secret show. Yes.
Rabbi
Somebody said a room.
Heidi
I like that.
Dom Irrera
That might kind of work.
Redban
That's what I'm saying.
Dom Irrera
Yeah, maybe they do. Yeah.
Redban
They go to dinner.
Dom Irrera
I'm going to take care of dinner. I'm not going to say where we'll keep it a secret location. But I'm going to get you guys reservations and I'll put. I'll put. What, 200 bucks?
Redban
Yep. There you go. Lesbian yelling out numbers. Jesus Christ almighty. I'll give 200 bucks to you guys.
Dom Irrera
Secret location.
Redban
You have dinner at 6:30 on Thursday
Dom Irrera
and then you guys do spots at the secret show. And then you fuck this shaky motherfuckers brains out.
Redban
Neil, sound like fun. Good. Kent, is that good? Ken's acting like I'm me too. Ing him right now. Look, this is gonna be good for you. The good news is you only have half a skirt to take off.
Dom Irrera
All right? It's gonna be easy breezy.
Redban
You bust a nut and then you're. You're one down. You're gonna have a whole new confidence after this. Okay, Ken, who's excited about this? Kent's gonna lose his virginity Thursday night. This is the craziest show on planet Earth. A lot of other shows, you win a briefcase of cash or something like that. We're gonna have two threes fuck on Thursday. It's gonna be incredible. There they go. Kent Hunter and Hannah Gray, A double date, free D box at the secret show. And then sex in a house with three roommates. Only on kill. Tony, did dreams like this come true? Oh, my God. Too much fun. Don, my ra.
Rich Voss
They seem a little like a kind of thing. They're, you know, kind of a.
Redban
Brian has his workout. He has a lot of work for on your show, doesn't he?
Hannah Gray
Yeah.
Redban
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat for you. This guy, a polarizing figure in the history of the show. I absolutely love him. And Ops, I've always said off stage he's so funny that I believe that every time that I think I always said, I think he's gonna get better and better at stand up comedy.
Dom Irrera
The guy, the boy wonder, has been doing spots all over the country.
Redban
Mrs. No opportunity to hustle around, sell tickets and do long sets. Trying to get better. Here with a brand new minute, I present to you the return once again of Uncle Laser, everybody. Here he is, live in the flesh. Oh, here he is. Oh, my goodness. The lizard man himself. Uncle Laser, everyone.
Uncle Laser
Y' all like true love. Y' all ain't gonna like this. Was reading the STD pamphlet in the Planned Parenthood this morning, and I just learned that PH actually stands for Pussy Health. Now, ladies, when it's off, y' all ain't got like a little check engine light that says, hey, I should go to ebgo N. Cause this shit look contagious, right? I made love to a forklift driver the other day. I went down on her and it always smells the same. Why does bad pussy always smell like Chernobyl? This woman's pussy lips look like an iguana neck. Her clitoris was calloused over and hard like an octopus beak. Easy to find for once. My name's Uncle Legend.
Cam Patterson
Thank y'.
Bitty O'Laughlin
All.
Redban
Okay, a minute.
Dom Irrera
Opportunities for laughter in there.
Redban
Great set, Uncle Laser.
Dom Irrera
How much of that is true? That's frightening.
Redban
The level of.
Dom Irrera
The level of woman that you're hanging out with in this world.
Uncle Laser
Well, for the joke purposes, I made her a forklift driver, but she's actually a nighttime ballerina.
Redban
Stripper.
Uncle Laser
Yeah, yeah,
Dom Irrera
Nighttime ballerina.
Uncle Laser
She's a nice young lady. Now, I don't know if know this, I thought UTI was a lady disease. I didn't know men could get that. And I'm currently walking around with that shit right now. And what had happened was, is she had a yeast infection. I said, well, that don't bother me none. You know, we'll be fine. Right?
Dom Irrera
Right. It's the Yeast of your worries.
Uncle Laser
Yeast of my worries. Yes. And now my. My kidneys feel like they're going to explode.
Redban
Oh, my God.
Dom Irrera
How long have you had this UTI for?
Uncle Laser
Think about them. Four weeks now.
Dom Irrera
Yeah, that's what I was going to say, because I. Again, again, believe it or not, I
Redban
hang out with Uncle Laser sometimes.
Dom Irrera
And about three weeks ago, I remember you saying that you got a UTI and that your kidneys hurt.
Uncle Laser
Well, I tooken care of it later since that point, and. But I hadn't finished the antibiotics all the way. And then she had it, too. And we fought. We made like a super variant.
Dom Irrera
See, this is why. I mean, I just can't get enough. He's so entertaining and it's all real. Look how serious his face is right now.
Redban
No shaky leg to be found on this motherfucker. He's calm and confident.
Uncle Laser
I've been drinking cranberry juice and vodka nonstop.
Rabbi
I know, Brian, I know. But you like what? You like
Redban
the old Ric Flair. Yeah, cranberries and vodkas.
Dom Irrera
I know about that.
Uncle Laser
But then the craziest part is, like, three days after I said I'm getting taken care of, I go to Planned Parenthood stuff. But she went to jail like three days later. Like, like big girl jailer. They picked her ass up. She's still in jail.
Dom Irrera
She had a warrant.
Uncle Laser
I don't. She had a kangaroo. They can only believe she probably went to cartel in some fashion or form. Right? Got to be.
Redban
Hold on.
Uncle Laser
She had a baby kangaroo. She owned one. That's not. You can't buy that at petsmart.
Dom Irrera
Now, again, the interesting thing here, it
Redban
sounds like he's crazy and silly and
Dom Irrera
making stuff up, but I literally remember seeing in one of your many. You post a lot of Instagram stories.
Redban
You almost can almost always tell what
Dom Irrera
Laser's up to if you follow him on Instagram. And literally, I mean, I don't know,
Redban
even, even me, I don't even like, say, oh, my God, what is that? Like, I'm not surprised by anything anymore on this. In this guy's life.
Dom Irrera
And meanwhile, I did see a story, and I haven't even mentioned this to you, a kangaroo bouncing around in somebody's apartment, like, with, like, roommates, and seemed
Redban
like the last guy's place you were
Dom Irrera
at and it's wearing a diaper.
Uncle Laser
Well, you don't want to on carpet.
Redban
Okay, Understand just learning the indoor kangaroo game here.
Uncle Laser
No one really devised a way to potty train them just yet because they're not supposed to be inside. You're not supposed to be domesticated by any stretch of the imagination, you know.
Dom Irrera
And so you go to her place, she has a kangaroo and a diaper hopping around.
Redban
Do you pet it?
Dom Irrera
What do you do?
Uncle Laser
Like, that's neat, you know?
Cam Patterson
Like, what.
Uncle Laser
What the am I supposed to say there? You know? Like, I don't know if y' all know when that grow up. They're vicious. You can't keep them in the house. There's no way. Like, they'll beat up.
Dom Irrera
Did you see this kangaroo?
Uncle Laser
Yeah, it was a baby. It was cool. Smell like carrots or something. Like. Smell like a. Like a. I don't know the word I'm looking for, but it's a yeast infection.
Rabbi
Red band from the core pocket, baby. Yeah, yeah.
Uncle Laser
No, she, like, put, like, YSL perfume and on it, so it smelled like a woman. It was weird. That's expensive ad perfume. I don't know if you know that now.
Heidi
What's that?
Uncle Laser
YSL do what now? Hell, yeah.
Redban
Absolutely. No, I know Eleanor does not like this kind of guy.
Heidi
This is the complete opposite of Cam. I don't know what this is. It's hard to understand, too. But, I mean, I like it. I'm enjoying it. I love wrestling.
Uncle Laser
You single?
Heidi
I'm good.
Redban
Hell, yeah.
Uncle Laser
Shooter's gonna shoot, you know.
Redban
No, Cam. All crayon. That's what this guy is. So when are you getting this UTI checked out?
Uncle Laser
Well, I got the medication now. Oh, I got this morning.
Redban
Okay.
Dom Irrera
But.
Uncle Laser
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
He's taking it yet?
Uncle Laser
Yeah, yeah, I took some today and I took, like, some painkillers.
Holden DeShazo
They didn't prescribe it.
Uncle Laser
I had some.
Dom Irrera
Okay, that sounds about right.
Uncle Laser
Like, let me ask the ladies in here, like, a genuine question, like, so my mama is from the 80s, and she's different, all right? She Metallica, Alice Cooper. Okay, different times. She's a different type of woman. And she used to douche with vinegar. That's the thing. Like, I mean, that was a thing, right? And then I guess the Cosmopolitan come out and say your clean itself. It's not working. At least with ladies. I know, but then you get.
Redban
What is your question?
Rich Boss
Can you also use oil?
Uncle Laser
Yeah. So I don't even know where I was going with that, man.
Brian Licata
I just.
Uncle Laser
They can do the suppository now. You know, if you put a suppository in your vagina, it'll cure whatever you got. But if you put your mouth and eat it, it'll kill you. That's strange to me. If you eat a suppository, it'll kill you. If you put your vagina. Boom. You're brand new, you know what I'm saying? That pussy's the bomb, you know, like a boric acid.
Rabbi
Yeah, I think that's what it's called.
Uncle Laser
I might be fucking up the word,
Heidi
but there you go.
Hannah Gray
You're good.
Uncle Laser
You get them at farmers markets.
Dom Irrera
You just call everything.
Redban
You just call everything you don't know vinegar surpass.
Uncle Laser
Well, you can drink vinegar and it won't kill you. That's the point I'm trying to make.
Dom Irrera
Oh, okay.
Redban
Some wise, wise chewing tobacco wisdom from Uncle Laser.
Uncle Laser
He like oxymoron.
Rich Boss
How are you not a health teacher?
Uncle Laser
Oh, I'm a felon.
Rich Boss
You're a felon.
Uncle Laser
That's.
Rich Boss
What are the odds?
Heidi
It says it right on his throat.
Redban
Yeah, Laser, another fun minute, another fun interview. There he goes. We're gonna keep it moving now. All right, ladies and gentlemen. Pulled another name out of the bucket. You guys still hanging in there? Make some noise for your next comedian. 60 seconds for Austin Young, everybody. Austin Young. Here we go.
Kent Hunter
How's it going? I'm single. I need a lady in my life, and not for companionship or anything. I'm almost 30 years old, and I
Redban
don't own a bowl.
Kent Hunter
Single bowl, man. I've just been eating cereal out of containers that were designed to store ham. And I'll be honest, man, I was far too content with it. Like, I was ready. Ready to live the rest of my life like that until I had a lady over, and she's like, hey, where are your bowls? I'm like, I don't have any. And she's like, I want you to know this is a huge red flag. I'm like, ooh, Any other red flags I should know about? She's like, yeah, guys that don't have headboards. I'm like, bitch, you think I got headboard money? I ain't got bowls. Plus, you know how ridiculous a headboard would look on an air mattress. That's right. All right, thank you guys so much.
Redban
57 seconds from Austin Young. You've been on this show before. Welcome back.
Kent Hunter
Yes, sir. Third time.
Dom Irrera
I love it.
Redban
Welcome, welcome.
Dom Irrera
How did that feel for you?
Kent Hunter
Felt very good.
Dom Irrera
So what do you eat the cereal out of?
Kent Hunter
Out of hand bowls? Oscar Meyer bowls. You can reuse them.
Redban
Ham bowls?
Brian Licata
Yeah.
Kent Hunter
Handballs. Hillshire Farms. Those got some depth to it.
Redban
Oh, my God. I clean it like the pla.
Kent Hunter
Thin the plastic bowls. Yeah.
Dom Irrera
You eat cereal out of. How many times do you refill those?
Kent Hunter
I mean, usually Till the box is gone, but.
Redban
Wow. Yeah.
Dom Irrera
You're a very big boy, Austin.
Kent Hunter
I am a big boy.
Dom Irrera
I would expect you eating cereal out of, like, a bathtub or something like that. And here you are.
Kent Hunter
I might, man. That's a good ass idea, dude.
Redban
Yeah. Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Just remember to plug the hole at the bottom.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Of course.
Kent Hunter
Yeah.
Redban
Rich Vox.
Rich Boss
Now what? What? Do you drink your meatloaf milkshakes out of the blender?
Redban
Great answer.
Dom Irrera
Absolutely you will. You are a master improviser of food. So you really don't have a headboard?
Kent Hunter
I don't know.
Dom Irrera
Do you really have an air mattress?
Kent Hunter
I mean, I used to, but, I mean, I'm doing pretty good. I got a mattress now. It's just a mattress on the floor, right?
Redban
It's just a deflated air mattress, Eleanor.
Heidi
That air mattress would squeak the way this squeaks without oil.
Redban
Oh, yeah. I can't even imagine what that air mattress went through with you on it.
Dom Irrera
So now you a real mattress, but no headboard.
Kent Hunter
No headboard.
Dom Irrera
How far are we from the headboard?
Kent Hunter
I mean, I could get one, but I just don't want to carry it up to my apartment. It's.
Redban
Holy. Okay.
Dom Irrera
You have a second story apartment?
Kent Hunter
Yeah, it's like two floors. I got to walk it up.
Dom Irrera
It's a real second story. Would be two floors. That is correct. Do you walk things up the stairs sometimes?
Kent Hunter
All the time, man.
Redban
But not a headboard.
Kent Hunter
Not a headboard.
Dom Irrera
Not for you.
Kent Hunter
Not.
Dom Irrera
You've made the decision.
Kent Hunter
I have. I'm. I'm contempt.
Redban
Okay,
Rich Voss
now I understand.
Dom Irrera
What do you do for work, Austin?
Kent Hunter
I'm a truck driver.
Dom Irrera
You're a truck driver?
Kent Hunter
Drive trucks.
Dom Irrera
You drive trucks?
Redban
That's right.
Dom Irrera
Truck driver drives truck.
Redban
And the second story has two sets of stairs.
Dom Irrera
We're learning a lot here.
Q Rose
Yeah.
Redban
All right.
Dom Irrera
What's your route lately?
Kent Hunter
Go down bit a little Laredo.
Dom Irrera
Okay.
Kent Hunter
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Can you tell us what you like to do? You stop off anywhere? Do you. You a buc ee's guy? What do you do?
Kent Hunter
Oh, they don't let trucks and Buc EE's. But I. I just dip all night and then just, like, listen to podcasts and whatnot. It's pretty cool.
Redban
Okay.
Kent Hunter
I scream to keep me awake. That's nice.
Dom Irrera
You really do that?
Kent Hunter
Yeah, I'll just scream.
Dom Irrera
Does that work?
Kent Hunter
Oh, it works.
Dom Irrera
Can you put the microphone down by your waist? Just show us what your actual scream in your truck sounds like. Don't do it into the mic.
Rich Voss
All right.
Dom Irrera
That's a good scream.
Kent Hunter
Yeah. Thank you.
Rich Boss
That's what girls do when he walks in the room.
Dom Irrera
What is your love life like, Austin?
Kent Hunter
I'm doing all right. I actually. I hooked up with a lady in Dallas after that Adam Ray weekend, so that was cool.
Dom Irrera
Okay, that's cool.
Redban
Shout out, Gabby.
Kent Hunter
Your pussy felt real good.
Heidi
Thank you.
Redban
Whoa. Shout out to Gabby.
Kent Hunter
She's actually a big fan of the show, too.
Redban
So she's a big fan of the show. Wow.
Dom Irrera
The felt real good.
Redban
Better than a normal or average.
Kent Hunter
I mean, better than the average bear. But this really felt nice.
Redban
And you went, no condom?
Kent Hunter
No, I. I mean, I was like, I have some. And I'm like, oh, forgot.
Rich Voss
Lost.
Kent Hunter
So
Heidi
he's got a sweet face. I'd let him get away with that.
Rabbi
I forgot. Okay.
Dom Irrera
My goodness gracious. Absolutely incredible. So how did this Gabby situation happen? She hung out with you after the show or something?
Kent Hunter
Yeah, she met me. I did a show in Fort Worth, like, the week before, and then she started to follow me and then. Then.
Dom Irrera
On Instagram.
Kent Hunter
Yes, on Instagram. So I just hit her up and saw she was in Dallas. I was like, hey, I'm going to be opening for Adam Ray, if you wanted to come. And then.
Dom Irrera
So put her on your guest list.
Kent Hunter
I sure did.
Dom Irrera
Look at you, you sweet, sweet boy.
Redban
Yeah. And next thing you know, you're in some good.
Kent Hunter
There's some great.
Redban
Wow. How long do you think you lasted with her?
Dom Irrera
You have a lot of stamina.
Kent Hunter
What's that? Oh, yeah, I got. My recovery is like a son of a.
Redban
So you, You. You go again.
Kent Hunter
Oh, yeah.
Dom Irrera
What type of recovery are we talking about here? The ladies are all very. Oh, that's a guy. They're all very interested.
Kent Hunter
It's all right. He's cute. No, it's like, it doesn't take long. It's just a couple minutes.
Redban
Couple minutes?
Kent Hunter
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Wow, look at you. Do you do anything special to get it hard again? You like, reverse scream or something?
Kent Hunter
Yeah. Just think how good that felt. I usually does it.
Redban
You just think about it again. Use your imagination.
Kent Hunter
Two minutes later, the quicker I get harder the, you know, I get to put it back in there.
Redban
That's actually a good point. This man states a lot of very obvious things. He's a truck driver. He drives trucks. Lives on the second story, two flights of stairs. You get your dick hard, the quicker you get to put it in again.
Dom Irrera
Absolutely unbelievable.
Redban
The man of many, many no own things.
Heidi
Very, very simplistic. Very simplistic. Keep it simple, buddy.
Rich Boss
Do you eat, too?
Kent Hunter
Oh, of course.
Rich Boss
Legs, neck and Torso.
Kent Hunter
Oh, that's right. I'll never miss a meal, dude.
Dom Irrera
Okay.
Redban
God damn right. God damn right. No one's gonna argue that. The proof is in the pudding. And you eat that too?
Kent Hunter
Of course. I love pudding.
Redban
You love pudding.
Kent Hunter
That's right.
Dom Irrera
No, I guy like you. Because, like, I'll eat a cup of pudding, right? And I'll be like, that's barely any pudding. Right. I was just getting started with this pudding. Now I'm done with it. You don't. It seems like a guy like me and you should not be eating the same. Do you eat more than one cup of pudding?
Kent Hunter
I might have to.
Redban
Look at that.
Dom Irrera
Look at that.
Redban
Absolutely.
Kent Hunter
That usually satisfies my pudding craze.
Dom Irrera
Have you ever binged a food in which even you're like, jesus, what have I done?
Kent Hunter
Oh, every time I go to Rapolo. Whole pizza.
Dom Irrera
Like, you have a whole pizza to yourself.
Kent Hunter
Not a whole pizza, but, like, I could get like half of it. I'm like, that was a lot.
Q Rose
That was.
Redban
Wow.
Kent Hunter
It's a big pie.
Dom Irrera
Wow.
Kent Hunter
Yeah.
Dom Irrera
Incredible. And when you're talking about a large or an extra large.
Kent Hunter
The extra large, of course.
Redban
Wow.
Dom Irrera
That's like the size of a headboard.
Kent Hunter
It is.
Dom Irrera
Have you ever thought about the headboard?
Kent Hunter
When it lasts in my apartment. Thank you.
Cam Patterson
Right?
Redban
Goddamn right. Okay, Austin, you've been on this show before.
Dom Irrera
Yes.
Redban
You have a big joke book. You did it again. Another good minute, another good interview.
Casey Rocket
Thank you.
Kent Hunter
I appreciate it.
Brian Licata
Thank you guys so much.
Redban
Yeah. Finally got a bucket full that's actually here. Four people left. I don't know how that happens.
Dom Irrera
What?
Redban
Oh, south by people. Oh, that'll do it. We are festival goers that signed up and then left. Very weird. But the good news is, is I finally got somebody that is here.
Dom Irrera
And he's a young legend of the show.
Redban
This guy did so good on his debut episode of the show that we
Dom Irrera
had him perform in a arena at the age of.
Redban
I think he's 16 or 17 or something crazy.
Dom Irrera
What is it?
Redban
17. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you a brand new minute from 17. 17 year old Holden DeShazo, everybody. Hell yeah.
Brian Licata
What's up?
Redban
How you guys doing?
Rabbi
All right.
Casey Rocket
Yeah.
Holden DeShazo
It is true. I just turned 17. Just turned 17 in a year. You know, one more year. So I don't have to lie about my age on porn sites. I'm pretty excited about it. I did have a joke about abortion, but still in the early stages of development, so I'll leave it alone. You know, I've been starting to notice a lot of acne on my face. I know we've all gotten it, but I've been googling to see how to get rid of it. Turns out I have to quit doing something I'm not willing to give up. Have to quit jerking off. I don't want to stop, but I do it so much that one of my buddies told me, holden, you have to quit choking your chicken. I never heard this before, but I choked mine so much that I gave it a name. You guys want to hear the name?
Redban
Yeah.
Holden DeShazo
I named it George Floyd
Brian Licata
the Go.
Rabbi
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold
Redban
on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Holden DeShazo
The good news is that the cop that killed him is probably being forced to choke a lot of chickens these days himself. Maybe he's into it.
Casey Rocket
I don't know.
Holden DeShazo
But based on the given clues, I think it's safe to say that he's into erotic asphyxiation. All right, that's it. Thank you guys.
Redban
Okay. Wow. Hard to tag a good choking the chicken George Floyd joke.
Dom Irrera
It's hard to.
Redban
Hard to follow that it's true. I loved that joke, by the way. I don't think you need a tag on that.
Dom Irrera
Me and Rich Voss made five seconds
Redban
of eye contact after that. Going like that. That's a pretty good sign. Wow.
Dom Irrera
You choke the chicken so much that you call it George Floyd.
Hannah Gray
That is repeating it.
Heidi
Repeating it is so good.
Dom Irrera
Incredible.
Rabbi
Wow.
Dom Irrera
I mean a 17 year old can get away with that joke. That's the good news.
Holden DeShazo
Thank God Yalls phones are locked up. Damn.
Dom Irrera
Thank God.
Holden DeShazo
Why they're phones are locked up.
Redban
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Dom Irrera
Unfortunately this will be on YouTube in three weeks.
Redban
It's all right.
Holden DeShazo
Let's kill Tony. We can talk about it.
Redban
We can talk about it.
Dom Irrera
Absolutely. You took a shot.
Redban
You actually made.
Dom Irrera
Worked. The joke works. It is an anomaly.
Redban
It's.
Dom Irrera
It's a. It's a great joke. It is. I'm trying to think of tags that you could possibly say, but all of mine are basically sound like they're written by Dom Ayrera.
Redban
They all end in the nword. I'm just kidding. Dom, don't do it.
Dom Irrera
Dom, don't do it. Have you ever thought about saying that you inject your penis with fentanyl right before.
Redban
Okie dokie.
Dom Irrera
George Floyd was.
Holden DeShazo
Ah, okay, I see where he was. Yeah, yeah, he was a fentanyl fan.
Redban
Yeah, he was at a.
Dom Irrera
What's it called? A. An overdose amount of fentanyl at the time. What a crazy Coincidence that that would happen at the same moment. I mean, what are the odds? It's almost like a anomaly.
Redban
So, Holden, let's talk about it.
Dom Irrera
When you do jokes like that, do you think, I'm 17, I can get away with anything?
Holden DeShazo
I know people legally can't fuck me up over them, so.
Dom Irrera
That's true. And you also know that the only black guy on the stage that can see has to jump over a blind guy to be able to attack you.
Heidi
That's true.
Dom Irrera
That's true. And the blind guy is not going to be able to spot you.
Redban
He's going to swing right above your head. You're gonna duck out and under and
Dom Irrera
you're gonna be just fine. Has anyone ever been offended by a joke of yours? Like when you're out doing open mics and stuff or anything like that?
Holden DeShazo
I mean, they haven't voiced it, but I've gotten a lot of like. Well, with that joke, I've gotten a lot of like, ooh.
Dom Irrera
Right.
Holden DeShazo
Like just all across the board.
Redban
Right.
Holden DeShazo
Nobody's brave enough to be the one guy to laugh at it.
Dom Irrera
Right? Exactly.
Heidi
Maybe they're worried about your danger. A dick.
Holden DeShazo
Possibly.
Rich Boss
Do you have a headboard?
Dom Irrera
Do you have a headboard? That's a great question. You're 17 years old. Do you happen to have a bed that has a headboard?
Holden DeShazo
I do.
Redban
There you go. Look at that.
Dom Irrera
Absolutely. Mom's taking good care of you. There's Mrs. Desa right over there. Before.
Redban
Yeah. If you're under 21, you have to be accompanied by a parent Here.
Rich Boss
Y.
Redban
So I'm hot. Mom is standing right over.
Heidi
I'm like, afraid to make eye contact. I feel like Chris. Dalia. I'm just in a. Look down.
Redban
This is a reverse Dahlia.
Dom Irrera
A woman with a younger boy. Holden. What else has been going on in life? You're 17. Give us the ways of. What's it like being a 17 year old in Texas nowadays?
Holden DeShazo
A lot of man ladies. Ladies out there.
Dom Irrera
Okay, a lot of those.
Redban
Okay.
Dom Irrera
A lot of those. There's one right here. Look at this.
Holden DeShazo
I spoke it into existence.
Redban
Yeah, it's.
Dom Irrera
Yeah.
Holden DeShazo
In. Well, because before I was homeschooled, I went to a private or a public school and there were a lot of those running around.
Dom Irrera
There was a lot of man girls at the private school.
Holden DeShazo
Public school.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Yeah.
Holden DeShazo
Cuz I held a door open for one girl, so I thought.
Dom Irrera
Yeah.
Holden DeShazo
And I and she.
Casey Rocket
They.
Holden DeShazo
Whatever.
Dom Irrera
Look at you as old. Correcting your pronouns.
Redban
I love it. This is what it's like being a Kid nowadays.
Holden DeShazo
She said thank you and I said, yes, ma'.
Dom Irrera
Am.
Holden DeShazo
My bad for being respectful. And she. She was like, it's sir. And I was like, no, it's not.
Redban
I love it. I love it.
Dom Irrera
Anything else crazy we should know about going on? Holden? What else?
Holden DeShazo
I got a girlfriend.
Rabbi
Whoa.
Redban
I love it. We do. I love it.
Dom Irrera
Where'd you meet this girl at?
Holden DeShazo
At homecoming last year.
Dom Irrera
Okay, that's absolutely adorable. So you took her to homecoming?
Holden DeShazo
Well, I didn't take her. I took another girl and met her there.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Okay.
Redban
Oh, look at you, balling out of control.
Dom Irrera
Literally. It seems like you are the most sexually active person other than Uncle Laser on tonight's lineup. Which is crazy cuz you're 17.
Redban
Yeah, we also had a guy that
Dom Irrera
is a virgin up earlier and I do believe he's in his 30s, so congratulations.
Rich Voss
Well done.
Cam Patterson
Thank you.
Dom Irrera
You are doing absolutely perfect.
Redban
Thank you.
Holden DeShazo
I met her there and then we started. We started talking and then kind of went away. And then she
Redban
ridiculously excited about you being in a straight relationship. He's famously homophobic. I don't know if you guys know this, but he literally celebrates a boy going on a date with a girl nowadays. This is what the world is come to. Praise Jesus.
Dom Irrera
God damn right. Holden, we love you. You're killing it.
Redban
You're 17. Nothing can stop you. There he goes, Holden, everybody. A little glimpse of the future right there. Come on, you guys can do better than that. Make some noise for holding, Deso. There we go. All right, we ready to put a ribbon on this thing or what? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Kill Tony hall of Famer. The record holder all time for appearances on the show. Minutes done and interviews done. He is known as the Baron of Biloxi. The Prince of Pint House Palace. The Duke of Abercorn. Not a lot of people know that he's the real Duke of Abercorn. The Memphis Strangler. The Vanilla Gorilla. This is indeed the Big Red Machine. The one and only.
Rabbi
Lights out William Montgomery, everybody.
Redban
Allahu akbar.
Uncle Laser
Aust.
William Montgomery
Probably a good thing that Alec Baldwin didn't get the role of Oppenheimer. We all know what he can do with a gun. Imagine a nuclear bomb. A mother was recently jailed after it was revealed that her five year old daughter was helping her do Brazilian waxes. The only thing I'm confused about is since when did cleaning floors become illegal? I'm still working on my rap career. I got a new line. It's call me Captain Hook because I just gave your bitch a rufio. That's all I got.
Dom Irrera
57 seconds from William Montgomery.
Uncle Laser
Yes, sir.
Dom Irrera
William, you look a little different.
Redban
Yeah, healthy.
Rabbi
What did.
Dom Irrera
Yeah.
Redban
You seem healthier.
Dom Irrera
You shaved your head.
Redban
Yeah.
William Montgomery
Been doing pilots or is it Pilates?
Redban
Oh, my goodness.
Dom Irrera
The legend has arrived. Kill Tony hall of famer, record holder for all time appearances on the show. This is.
Redban
Oh, wait a second.
Rabbi
Tony. Tony, hang on a minute. Who is this?
Cam Patterson
No kidding.
William Montgomery
It's my brother.
Rabbi
Wow.
Redban
Your brother? Oh, my goodness. The crowd goes wild. This is absolutely incredible.
Rabbi
Oh, my God.
Redban
A first in the history of Kill Tony.
Dom Irrera
This man been performing every Monday for over five years, constantly reinventing a wheel that has never even been created before. And yet here you are, pushing it to a brand new limit. The same exact height, the same exact color beard, the same exact color eyes,
Redban
the exact same voice.
Dom Irrera
There is a blatant.
Redban
You guys laugh the same. Your beards shake when you laugh.
Dom Irrera
It is absolutely incredible.
Redban
This is an anomaly unlike any anything
Dom Irrera
we've ever seen before.
Redban
We have an absolute Montgomery Mayhem happening right now. William, what is your brother's name?
William Montgomery
So here. Seldon.
Redban
I love it.
Dom Irrera
Absolutely. I couldn't even tell which one said that.
Redban
Wow.
Dom Irrera
William, how do you feel tonight? What's going on with you?
William Montgomery
I feel, honestly, a little weird. Seldon was wonderful. I feel wonderful about this. He just moved here. But Tony, I literally, I get here, first thing I hear is that Lance Armstrong is in the crowd tonight. I was a cyclist. I grew up letting Lance. And then my mom tells his ass when he's getting a drink back there that I had posters all over my wall of him. And it kind of. I feel like I lost street cred with Lance.
Rabbi
So that's.
William Montgomery
Honestly, again, it's so exciting and wonderful. Selden's here, but I feel like I blew my fucking shot. Did you really meeting Lance?
Dom Irrera
Did you get to meet him?
William Montgomery
Yeah, briefly. But I was like. I was starstruck and I was like, surprise.
Redban
Big fan.
Dom Irrera
I love it.
Redban
How about a hand for Austin's own Lance Armstrong? Everybody in the house tonight. Don't bother turning around. You can't see Emmy's in the dark, protected from you normal peasants, from you fucking non super athletes.
Rabbi
He used to beat the out of Jan Ulrich.
Redban
That's right. Goddamn motherfucking right.
Rabbi
Lance. I used to love him when he used to beat Yan every year.
Redban
God damn right. We love Lance Armstrong. He is. Austin is so wild. The light.
Uncle Laser
What's funny?
Redban
You what?
Rabbi
I'm trying to have fun with Lance Austral.
Dom Irrera
It is a crazy life we Have.
Redban
Lance Armstrong is now golf buddies with Tony Hinchcliffe, and the world will never be the same. I'm already getting us matching jackets so I can go around and roast people with Lance Armstrong flanking me on one side, Johnny Manziel on the Next, Gary Clark Jr. You name it.
Dom Irrera
We're doing a Austin movie, Mount Rushmore thing, and William's brother is also going to be part of my entourage now. This is very exciting. So, William, one thing I want to
Redban
talk about, because it is in the zeitgeist.
Dom Irrera
I cannot believe it. Round of applause. How many of you watch the UFC on Saturday night? How many of you in the co main event?
Redban
I mean, this is crazy.
Dom Irrera
I mean, I cannot believe it, because. Let me tell you guys a quick story. So Dustin Porier stuns the world in
Redban
the co main event, hits a Frenchman
Dom Irrera
that's a freak of nature, known literally
Redban
as the God of war in the side of the head, and stunningly knocks him out.
Dom Irrera
He was a tremendous underdog. Even though he's a legend, Future UFC hall of Famer Dustin Poirier knocks out this young buck that was totally supposed to beat him. He keeps going for this choke the whole time in the post interview, that only lasts 30 seconds. If, you know UFC, Rogan goes, what was your plan of action? Or whatever? And Dustin goes, my corner kept telling me to not do the.
William Montgomery
The guillotine.
Rabbi
He ain't ever going to stop doing.
Redban
They told me to stop doing the guillotine choke, but I ain't never going to stop doing the guillotine choke. And I literally. I remember because I walked away, I
Dom Irrera
was smoking a cigarette, but I had it playing on my Sonos sound system. State of the art Sonos sound system.
Redban
Thank you, Gel blaster.
Dom Irrera
Anyway, but I remember hearing that and thinking, that's crazy.
Redban
That sounds like a William Montgomery reference. But calm your ego, Tony, because I don't know.
Dom Irrera
Dustin Poirier is a fan. And Sugar Sean o', Malley, who's a huge fan of legend on the shows, in the main.
Redban
Main event.
Dom Irrera
There's no way Dustin Porier knows anything about Kil. Tony. And then he messages you.
Rabbi
No, I messaged him, Tony.
Redban
Oh, you messaged.
Rabbi
I messaged him, Yeah. I don't want him to beat my ass.
William Montgomery
Hold on. We have to be careful here.
Redban
No, yeah, but it.
Dom Irrera
But it. The point is, is you guys talked.
Redban
He's a big fan.
William Montgomery
Yeah, he confirmed. So all the little pieces of shit on fucking Reddit.
Rabbi
Yeah, he was talking about my fucking ass, you idiot.
Redban
He literally said on Twitter earlier Today, this is all happening so fast.
Dom Irrera
Somebody goes, was. You're never going to stop. In reference to William Montgomery. And he literally said yes. He tweeted out yes. So to think that you're, you know, here you are every week at the end of the show and you, you are literally in the cosmos of entertainment. I mean, everybody's watching.
William Montgomery
Lance, are you hearing this?
Rabbi
Lance, you're getting all this, right,
Holden DeShazo
Bro?
Redban
If you get Lance Armstrong to drop, I ain't ever going to stop. At some point at when he beats people in a race, that would be absolutely incredible.
Dom Irrera
So how did you feel? Were you watching the fights when Dustin said that?
William Montgomery
I was watching it, but we didn't have the volume up, so I didn't hear it. My brother Vance in it.
Redban
So. Yeah, yeah.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Who.
William Montgomery
That was a fun little.
Brian Licata
Awesome.
William Montgomery
Who did that? That was kind of a fun.
Redban
Wow, wow,
Kent Hunter
wow.
Redban
God, you're an idiot.
William Montgomery
What'd you just say? God, I'm an idiot.
Dom Irrera
Idiot.
Pauly Shore
Okay.
Kent Hunter (same as K)
Holy.
William Montgomery
You bothered me the first time. You bothered me every time, every time.
Rabbi
Trying to get Lance or show on my top.
Redban
Uh oh. Pauly Shore is back, everybody. Yeah, Paulie, come on.
Dom Irrera
Paulie Shore, the mayor of the Comedy Store has full permission to interrupt Kill
Redban
Tony anytime he wants.
Dom Irrera
We have an agreement.
Pauly Shore
I just didn't know because I know you talked to me earlier. Hi, guys. What's going on? Hi. I know you saa. I was in the other room, just so you know. I was just in the little room, which is the little boy room. Give it up for the little boy room. Okay. No, but I was saying some really nice stuff about you is my point.
Dom Irrera
You what?
Pauly Shore
I was saying some beautiful things. I'm like next door, Tony Desant or Tony. You know what I mean? Tony's here.
Redban
So you told a smaller showroom that
Dom Irrera
there was a better show going on
Redban
in the other room.
Pauly Shore
The thing is. The thing is the soul is in the smaller showroom because that's where the shit's really developed. This is too big corporate for me now.
Redban
Paulie, you just came up this microphone when the curtain open, I'm like, this is amazing. Lance came down and to make a appearance and it's a double poly shore.
Pauly Shore
Sorry, I just did some drugs in the back.
Brian Licata
Sorry.
Dom Irrera
What kind of drugs?
Pauly Shore
With the razor guy. The razor guy's crazy. The laser. Laser.
Redban
Polly Short.
Pauly Shore
We like it. Stevie Wonder.
Rabbi
We're good, we're good.
Rich Voss
I like you. I like you.
Pauly Shore
Put some Vaseline. We're good, we're good.
Dom Irrera
I love it. Paulie, what do you Think about William and his brother here. Have you ever.
Pauly Shore
I saw his brother's beautiful. Do you ever see the movie Mississippi Burning? He looks like the grandchild of the dude from Mississippi Burning.
William Montgomery
Dude.
Dom Irrera
All right, we're gonna put a picture
Redban
of that up all over the podcast. That anybody in the world knows what you're talking about right now.
Rabbi
What I do now.
Pauly Shore
He said that it's a good movie.
Redban
That's what he just said.
Pauly Shore
In Mississippi style.
Rabbi
That's what he said.
Redban
I don't know what's going on right now. What kind of drugs did you do with Uncle Razor?
Pauly Shore
He had some herpes medication. He gave it to me. He told me to start it.
Redban
He told me from MTV to UTI real quick. This is incredible.
Pauly Shore
But he's a good guy. He wants me to hang out with him at his trailer park Deep somewhere far from here.
Redban
I'll be damn. What? Aby Dam?
Pauly Shore
Yeah, he's coming too.
Redban
Absolutely. D Madness. Huge Pauly Shore fan. He's watched all your movies. Much like how William watches the ufc. Watches with the volume down. Okay, how about I am for Paulie Shore, everybody. Paulie, you wanna. You wanna sing a song or something to take us out or something like that? Get us out of here, Dom. Irera has the hit podcast. Yo, Dom. How about a hand for Dom? I Myrera.
Pauly Shore
Why don't we go.
Redban
Eleanor's new special, no country for Old Women is out now on the YouTube Comedy Store. Name a song, Paulie. So they get stuck.
Pauly Shore
Good times roll Since Tony Hinchcliffe has created a monster here. And Austin, Texas, the good times Row.
Redban
Rich boss dot com. Get out of. Buy some merch. Buy a shirt@rich boss.com R I C
Dom Irrera
H V O West. Let the good times roll thank you.
Redban
Talk Space.
Dom Irrera
Squarespace.
Redban
Shout out to all the amazing people that are out here.
Dom Irrera
South by Southwest weekend is insane.
Redban
Shout out to the great Peter Shore. Paulie's brother is out there killing it.
Pauly Shore
Scott Shore. Scott.
Redban
Scotty's here.
Dom Irrera
The whole Shore family is here.
Redban
Mitzy is here in spirit always. This whole thing is completely a.
Dom Irrera
An absolute spin off of what she's created with the Comedy Store. The closest thing to a mother that I have in the world that isn't my actual mother. The great, late, great Mitzi Shore, everybody.
Redban
The drawing from Ryan J E Bell is in. The drawing from Chris Rogers is over there. Let's let the good times roll Play some music. Sing it, Polly.
Rabbi
Wait, wait, wait.
Pauly Shore
We gotta have that. We gotta have the. We gotta have the girl that was selling handing Out Drinks dance, too.
Redban
Heidi, get up here. Come on, Heidi. We're inside with the drinks. The stunning Heidi.
Pauly Shore
Yeah, there she goes. No, dance with him. Dance with him. Here we go. 2, 3, 4.
Redban
He's not dancing.
Pauly Shore
That's not the good times roll. That's like some weird Stop. Stop the cars. Good times roll, bro.
Heidi
Get up.
Pauly Shore
2, 3, 4.
Redban
You think the band doesn't know this song?
Pauly Shore
Let the good times. Let the good times.
Rabbi
What do you got?
Redban
Why?
Rabbi
What the are you throwing me under the bus for?
Pauly Shore
He's texting his friend.
Redban
Matt's texting D Madness right now. I don't know what's happening.
Pauly Shore
No, no, they don't know it.
Redban
They're a little bit younger than you.
Dom Irrera
Polly, you have a newer song.
Pauly Shore
Why don't we do Flowers by Miley Cyrus? Everyone likes that. The girls write flowers by Miley Cyrus. It sounds like this. Wait, cut, cut. It sounds like the same song you just played. You guys are trying to get rid of me. Dude, that's.
Redban
You started to let the good side
Dom Irrera
roll with the chorus. There's verses.
Redban
Do you know the verses?
Pauly Shore
The blind guy's friends got it.
Cam Patterson
What?
Pauly Shore
Let the stories be so let them show what they want,
Redban
people.
Pauly Shore
Let the stories be to let the show what you want.
Redban
There's people googling how they can get a refund in the audience sometimes.
Pauly Shore
That's it.
Rabbi
Where you going?
Pauly Shore
What the fuck? No, it is.
Redban
Where you going? Wait. Dom, everybody.
Dom Irrera
Dam.
Rabbi
Thank you guys for coming out.
Redban
The podcast. Even Odom every week. Paulie. Sing, you son of a. Oh, there goes Paulie Shore. Polly Shore, everybody. Eleanor's new special is out. Richboss.com Tickets for Madison Square Garden in the Forum. I think we just released a few more. They're out there. Very, very little time left. It's all happening, folks. Red Rose, Yellow Rose, Gel, Blaster, Talk Space, and Squarespace. Everybody. Have a good time tonight. Red Band.
Rabbi
Check out the Sunset strip Comedy Club, sunsetstripatx.com I love you guys.
Redban
We love you. Thank you. Good night, everybody.
Rabbi
Sam,
Bitty O'Laughlin
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in
Heidi
Austin, Texas, is now open.
Bitty O'Laughlin
Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to Sunset Strip stripatx.com for tickets.
Rabbi
Sa.
KILL TONY #657 – RICH VOS + DOM IRERA + ELEANOR KERRIGAN (Apr 2, 2024) Detailed Episode Summary
Main Theme & Episode Overview
This episode of Kill Tony, filmed at Austin’s Comedy Mothership, features comedians Rich Vos, Dom Irera, and Eleanor Kerrigan joining hosts Tony Hinchcliffe and Brian Redban. The show follows its classic format: random comedians from the audience perform 60 seconds of stand-up, then receive panel feedback and banter. Regulars, local favorites, and surprise moments (including on-stage matchmaking and celebrity cameos) make for a night of fast, unfiltered stand-up, brutal honesty, and comic spontaneity.
Casey Rocket’s Minute (06:31 – 07:33):
Casey’s ‘Stock Picks’ Prop Bit (09:09 – 13:31):
Casey Rocket:
“Stocks are big this time of year, especially around the holidays.” (09:50)
Redban:
"If you don't laugh at that [Floyd Mayweather/reading joke], you might as well fucking leave now." (07:53)
Dom Irera:
"Have you ever been called the n-word by a white guy?" (46:16)
Brian Licata:
"I used to shoot crystal meth in my neck." (34:03)
Rich Vos (on Casey’s stock presentation):
"I’d rather invest in property in Gaza." (13:31)
Panel, on Kent’s virginity:
Eleanor: “I would come in an instant.” (62:04)
Redban (on matchmaking):
"We’re gonna take some of Cam Patterson’s hair moisturizer, spray it down there... oil the little tin man she’s got between her legs.” (62:21)
Holden DeShazo:
“I choked mine [chicken] so much I gave it a name... I named it George Floyd.” (97:58)
William Montgomery:
“Lance [Armstrong], you’re getting all this, right?” (113:24)
Pauly Shore:
"This is too big-corporate for me now." (115:13)
This episode typifies the unfiltered, collaborative chaos that defines Kill Tony. Highlights include standout sets from the regulars, a virgin comic set up on a live date, edgy material skillfully delivered (and sometimes scathingly roasted), an impromptu Cam Patterson rescue after a rough set, and genuine moments of camaraderie amid the relentless ball-busting. Pauly Shore and Lance Armstrong cameos bring extra energy to an already electric night.
For fans & newcomers:
This is a quintessential episode, capturing Kill Tony’s blend of unpredictability, panel chemistry, and live comedy at its wildest.