#657 - RICH VOS + DOM IRERA + ELEANOR KERRIGAN

Summary

KILL TONY #657 – RICH VOS + DOM IRERA + ELEANOR KERRIGAN (Apr 2, 2024) Detailed Episode Summary

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Main Theme & Episode Overview

This episode of Kill Tony, filmed at Austin’s Comedy Mothership, features comedians Rich Vos, Dom Irera, and Eleanor Kerrigan joining hosts Tony Hinchcliffe and Brian Redban. The show follows its classic format: random comedians from the audience perform 60 seconds of stand-up, then receive panel feedback and banter. Regulars, local favorites, and surprise moments (including on-stage matchmaking and celebrity cameos) make for a night of fast, unfiltered stand-up, brutal honesty, and comic spontaneity.

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Introduction & Panel Banter (00:40 – 05:55)

• Redban and Pauly Shore open, plugging clubs and sponsors.
• Panel intros emphasize the comedic pedigree on stage:
  • Eleanor Kerrigan’s new special "No Country for Old Women" (03:47)
  • Rich Vos as the "New York Assassin" and record-setting guest
  • Dom Irera’s legendary career and role as most frequent Kill Tony panelist
• Dom: “I got a lot of bellies.” (04:08)

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Regular: Casey Rocket’s Standup & Chaos (05:55 – 14:28)

Casey Rocket’s Minute (06:31 – 07:33):

• Absurdist, high-energy delivery with lines like:
  • “What's the scariest drug you've ever done? Falling in love.” (06:51)
  • “People call me the Floyd Mayweather of the Austin comedy scene—‘cause I can't read.” (07:19)
• Panel reaction is ecstatic: “If you don’t laugh at that, you might as well fucking leave now.” – Redban (07:53)

Casey’s ‘Stock Picks’ Prop Bit (09:09 – 13:31):

• Hilariously pitches fake inventions with Walgreens photos:
  • Car Racks (“tits for cars… $5,000 per car”) (10:15)
  • Scream Powered Cars (“Just give it a good scream, you get 100 miles per scream!”) (10:44)
  • 1-800-Guns for Goose (“give a goose a gun”) (11:42)
  • Upscale Unhoused (“$19/day for fishnets for homeless people so they look hot”) (12:22)
• Panel’s riffing is sharp:
  • Rich Vos: “I’d rather invest in property in Gaza.” (13:31)
  • Eleanor: “It’s like Carrot Top on meth… let’s sell this to Vegas.” (13:14)

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Comedian Bucket – Notable Sets & Interviews

Q Rose (15:15 – 22:36)

• Jokes about upcoming fatherhood, high school nicknames, and growing up in Texas (15:29)
• Quick-witted set, highlight: “...found out them niggas was Puerto Rican. It was bad.” (16:28)
• Panel banter includes sports (rock-paper-scissors face-off, basketball jokes), stereotypes, Air Force service:
  • Dom: “You ever do anything wild?”
  • Q: “I’m an Air Force veteran. Thank you for your taxes.” (22:28)
• Light-hearted, supportive roast battle between panel and Q Rose.

Mike Ryan (23:11 – 29:34)

• Homeless people and bikes, culminating in self-roast: “I hit him with a bottle, then I stole his bike. And as I was riding away, someone yelled, ‘Hey, that’s my bike!’” (24:09)
• Shares how his first Kill Tony appearance led to his standup bookings (24:58)
• Rapped live, first with band (26:22), then acapella: “The microphone killer, used to be a dope dealer…” (26:32)
• Attempts to flatter panel with story about matching jackets—panel calls him out for “fake story” (27:40)
  • Redban: “You just told a fake story by a guy with a mullet.” (29:33)

Brian Licata (30:13 – 39:44)

• Tech guy and video editor for Dom’s podcast, rarely performs
• Self-aware bomb, jokes about “modern traditional relationships” and domestic violence, but jokes fall flat (30:13 – 31:19)
• Admits prior meth addiction: “I used to shoot crystal meth in my neck.” (34:03)
• Panel roasts him relentlessly as boring, unfunny, and unprepared
  • Dom: “Brian, you’re not allowed to sign up for the show for the rest of your life.” (38:34)
• Brian: “My flight wasn’t until tomorrow…” (39:25)

Cam Patterson (Regular, 40:39 – 46:16)

• Opens with: “That last nigga was terrible. So I took his chain.” (40:39)
• Talks about hating a new haircut, jokes about his mother, and being called “the black Corbin Bleu” (40:57)
• Interview delves into black hair, barbers, and family
• Light, witty banter about race, jokes about N-word usage on the show
  • Panel riff: “You can think it, Dom. I give you permission to think the N-word right now.” – Redban (42:19)
  • Rich Vos: “Have you ever been called the n-word by a white guy?” (46:16)

Bitty O’Laughlin (Australia, 47:18 – 54:50)

• Australian single mom, sober, jokes about parenthood (“hoping for a miscarriage,” Down Syndrome jokes) (47:24)
• Discusses street busking, being on single mom benefits (49:58)
• Sings “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right” with panel improvising on guitar and keys (53:23)
• Hilarious on-the-fly tests for nannies: “Didn’t think Hannah Gadsby was funny, so I was like, you’ll do.” (52:33)

Kent Hunter (Shaky Legs, 55:17 – 69:38)

• Strong standup, jokes about rapper 2 Chainz, pothead stereotypes, his grandmother’s sex life (55:40)
• Reveals on interview: 20 years old, a shy, nervous (literal shaky legs) HEB shelf-stocker, and a virgin (62:12)
• Eleanor volunteers: “I’d come in an instant.” (62:04)
• Panel attempts to set Kent up on a date (see below)
  • Kent: Watches lesbian porn, “just real awkward” (63:53)

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Live Matchmaking: Kent Hunter & Hannah Gray (69:38 – 78:09)

• Hannah (audience, Denver comic, Navy vet, PTSD, mushroom grower) delivers a sharp standup set (71:20):
  • “I’m divorced and retired for the same reason—the gay old United States Navy.”
  • “I build apps... actually building a comedy app.” (74:15)
• Panel orchestrates a date between Kent and Hannah
  • Set up for a romantic dinner, secret show, and sex
  • Redban: “A lot of other shows, you win a briefcase of cash... We’re gonna have two threes fuck on Thursday!” (78:12)

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Uncle Laser (Regular, 79:39 – 87:47)

• Gnarly, raunchy set about STDs, yeast infections, and dating strippers (80:09)
• Admits to currently having a UTI, panel is both repulsed and entertained (“Been drinking cranberry juice and vodka non-stop.” – Uncle Laser (83:04))
• Talks about sex with a stripper who owned a kangaroo (“You don’t want it shitting on the carpet...”) (84:26)
• “How are you not a health teacher?” – Rich Vos (87:33)
• Uncle Laser: “I’m a felon.” (87:36)

Austin Young (88:12 – 96:14)

• Jokes about not owning a bowl, eating out of ham containers, and not having a headboard (88:22)
• Truck driver, self-deprecating humor about food and sex (91:33 – 95:32)
• Claims to have hooked up with a Dallas fan named Gabby—“her pussy felt real good” (92:28)

Holden DeShazo (17-year-old, 96:40 – 104:29)

• Opens with: “One more year, so I don't have to lie about my age on porn sites.” (97:11)
• Edgy “choking the chicken”/George Floyd joke shocks and impresses the panel:
  • Dom: “You choke the chicken so much that you call it George Floyd.” (98:45)
• Discusses Gen Z school life, nonbinary classmate interactions (102:08)
• Has a girlfriend (103:14), gets big support from panel for being “the most sexually active person on tonight’s lineup, which is crazy ‘cause you’re 17.” (103:36)
• Holden’s mom is in the audience (“This is a reverse D'Elia.” – Heidi (101:46))

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Headliner Regular: William Montgomery + Surprise Brother Cameo (105:20 – 117:10)

• William’s bits: Alec Baldwin/Oppenheimer, Brazilian waxes, “Captain Hook because I gave your bitch a rufio” (105:53)
• Reveals brother Seldon; panel stunned by their similarities
• William’s excitement meeting Lance Armstrong in the audience (“I feel like I lost street cred with Lance.” – 109:17)
• Recaps that UFC fighter Dustin Poirier used William's catchphrase, “I ain’t ever gonna stop doing the guillotine choke,” confirming it as a direct reference (111:03 – 113:24)
• Pauly Shore interrupts for wild, rambling cameo, comparing William’s brother to "the dude from Mississippi Burning," bantering about drugs, sharing herpes medication from Uncle Laser, and ending with a collective singalong (114:35 – end)
  • Pauly: “Why don’t we do ‘Flowers’ by Miley Cyrus? ... It sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me!” (119:36)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

Casey Rocket:
“Stocks are big this time of year, especially around the holidays.” (09:50)

Redban:
"If you don't laugh at that [Floyd Mayweather/reading joke], you might as well fucking leave now." (07:53)

Dom Irera:
"Have you ever been called the n-word by a white guy?" (46:16)

Brian Licata:
"I used to shoot crystal meth in my neck." (34:03)

Rich Vos (on Casey’s stock presentation):
"I’d rather invest in property in Gaza." (13:31)

Panel, on Kent’s virginity:
Eleanor: “I would come in an instant.” (62:04)

Redban (on matchmaking):
"We’re gonna take some of Cam Patterson’s hair moisturizer, spray it down there... oil the little tin man she’s got between her legs.” (62:21)

Holden DeShazo:
“I choked mine [chicken] so much I gave it a name... I named it George Floyd.” (97:58)

William Montgomery:
“Lance [Armstrong], you’re getting all this, right?” (113:24)

Pauly Shore:
"This is too big-corporate for me now." (115:13)

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Episode Highlights by Timestamp

• Casey Rocket’s full bit & stock presentation: 05:55 – 14:28
• Q Rose’s set & interview: 15:15 – 22:36
• Mike Ryan’s homeless bike joke + rap: 23:11 – 29:34
• Brian Licata’s infamous bomb: 30:13 – 39:44
• Kent Hunter’s virgin confession & date setup (plus Hannah’s debut): 55:17 – 78:09
• Uncle Laser’s wild UTI story: 79:39 – 87:47
• Holden DeShazo’s George Floyd joke: 96:52 – 100:26
• William Montgomery’s closing, UFC guillotine story, and brother onstage: 105:20 – 113:24
• Pauly Shore’s singalong outro: 114:35 – end

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Final Notes

This episode typifies the unfiltered, collaborative chaos that defines Kill Tony. Highlights include standout sets from the regulars, a virgin comic set up on a live date, edgy material skillfully delivered (and sometimes scathingly roasted), an impromptu Cam Patterson rescue after a rough set, and genuine moments of camaraderie amid the relentless ball-busting. Pauly Shore and Lance Armstrong cameos bring extra energy to an already electric night.

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For fans & newcomers:
This is a quintessential episode, capturing Kill Tony’s blend of unpredictability, panel chemistry, and live comedy at its wildest.

Transcript

[Redban]

Hey, this is Redban and you're listening to the Death Squad podcast network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at desquad tv. And don't forget to check out everything

[Pauly Shore]

Tony [e-mail] and the Sunset Strips, my new comedy club in Austin, Texas.

[Redban]

Go to sunsetstripatx.com and now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

[Rabbi]

Hey, this is Rabbi coming to you live from the comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchcock. Who's ready for the best fuckin night of your go.

[Redban]

Yippee. Here we are, everybody. We made it. It's Red Band, everyone.

[Rabbi]

We're doing it again.

[Redban]

Congratulations. You did it. You made it. You're at the number one live podcast

[Dom Irrera]

in the world, Kill Tony. Brought to you by Talk Space, Squarespace, the Red Rose and the Yellow Rose. How about that? You guys happy?

[Redban]

How about one more time for the best stand band in the land, everybody. That's the fantastic Raul Vallejo, Fernando Castillo, Carlos Sosa, Michael Gonzalez, Matthew Mewling on the electric guitar, John Dees on the keys. And this is the great and powerful D Madness on the bass guitar right here live in the flesh. An unbelievable show, ready to rock.

[Dom Irrera]

Before we get it started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin,

[Heidi]

Texas is now open.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.

[Redban]

Are you guys ready to start tonight's episode or what? Huh?

[Dom Irrera]

You guys are inverse.

[Redban]

How long, how many of you have

[Dom Irrera]

been following the show?

[Redban]

For a very long time. But you guys are in for a special treat on top of one of

[Dom Irrera]

the queens of comedy at the Comedy Store and one of the kings of comedy in New York. Also joining us is the record holder for all time appearances as a guest in the show's history. For the first time since the pandemic. Ladies and gentlemen, I am so excited

[Redban]

to bring to this stage Dom A Eleanor Kerrigan and Rich Boss, everybody. Make some fucking noise, Domina. Did we ever find out how many times he's been on the show? 24, 25, 26 times? How about I am for the lovely Heidi as well? Unbelievable. What a squad. And Dom Ira in the house. The great Eleanor Kerrigan with the new

[Dom Irrera]

special no country for Old Women out

[Redban]

now on the Comedy Stores, YouTube, rich

[Dom Irrera]

voss.com for tour dates and unbelievably cool merch. And of course, Domino, this isn't the belly room.

[Redban]

You're not in the belly room anymore, Dom, are you sure? No, you got to talk into the mic too. It's a podcast.

[Dom Irrera]

I got a lot of bellies.

[Rich Voss]

Thank you, nice lady.

[Redban]

Dom's killing it without a microphone. It's just me up here laughing. Welcome back, Dom. How did I am for Dom? You guys don't know. These Austin kids just started getting into comedy this year cuz they're hoping Joe

[Dom Irrera]

Rogan's going to step on their toes or something like that. Dom, how are you, my friend?

[Rich Voss]

Good. I couldn't be better. I mean, look at the people came out to see me. And thanks for faking laughter at these two guys because I'm the baddest on earth.

[Redban]

He is the baddest. Goddamn right. Eleanor Kerrigan, welcome back.

[Rabbi]

Hi, how are you?

[Dom Irrera]

Thank you for having me.

[Redban]

For Old Women is out now on the comedy stores.

[Dom Irrera]

Thank you, YouTube. And the great rich boss is back.

[Redban]

Ladies and gentlemen, New York Assassin. Thank you.

[Rich Boss]

I always have a blast doing this. I. I'm telling you, I drove from Jersey just to do this.

[Heidi]

All right.

[Rich Voss]

It's kind of sad.

[Redban]

You guys know how it works.

[Dom Irrera]

You've all done this show, especially Dom, more than anybody else ever in the show's history. Over 200. I can't even get my hands around how many people signed up tonight. They're falling out everywhere hoping to get their chance on this stage. If they get pulled out, they get 60 seconds of time to do standup comedy. They can literally become famous on the show. You know their 60 seconds is up. When you hear the sound of a kitten, that means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear.

[Redban]

And then I interview them and we

[Dom Irrera]

find out more about them and what they could talk about, what could be interesting. I've already pre pulled the name person has to run across the street to poor choices, grab them from a group full of comedy, hundreds of comedians and drag them over here. In the meanwhile, let's get the show started with one of our great regulars, everybody.

[Redban]

A fucking absolute thunderbolt of energy starts this show every single week now. He is a phenom freak of nature on tour with me with William Montgomery, most importantly, literally one of the most famous local comedians on planet earth. He is a superstar. I present to you 60 seconds, brand new and uninterrupted from the phenom Casey Rocket, ladies and gentlemen. And it has begun. Yeah. All right.

[Uncle Laser]

Nice day for A white wedding.

[Redban]

Okay, cool. Total silence.

[Casey Rocket]

We're having fun.

[Kent Hunter]

Hell, yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Get real.

[Redban]

All right.

[Casey Rocket]

God, I feel like shit. I've been doing Ramadan, so I can't eat any Percocet till sundown, so.

[Uncle Laser]

Yo, crabs got the meat sweats.

[Redban]

All right. Very cool.

[Q Rose]

Hell yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Lost you again.

[Redban]

God.

[Casey Rocket]

A lot of people ask me, they say, titty boy lacroix, what's the scariest drug you've ever done? And I tell them, ladies and gentlemen, the scariest drug I've ever done was falling in love. I overdosed on fentanyl last summer. Kept doing it for six more months. Beginner's luck.

[Kent Hunter]

Get lost.

[Redban]

Click, click, boom.

[Casey Rocket]

Come on now, fastest hands in the room. People call me the Floyd Mayweather of the Austin comedy scene.

[Redban]

Cause I can't read. Okay,

[Casey Rocket]

that's my time.

[Redban]

Thank you.

[Pauly Shore]

Casey.

[Redban]

Rocket. Boom. He did it again. Exactly one minute. He is a absolute superstar.

[Dom Irrera]

The Rocket man himself, Casey Rocket has

[Redban]

arrived to the scene, everybody.

[Dom Irrera]

Another fantastic minute. That Floyd Mayweather joke.

[Redban]

Absolutely. If you don't laugh at that, you might as well fucking leave now. There's people in a standby line hoping some people leave early on in the show.

[Dom Irrera]

Unbelievable. Rich. You ever seen anything like that before?

[Rich Boss]

I tell you, when I saw that missing tooth, I thought you were a boxer.

[Redban]

Casey, you are the man.

[Dom Irrera]

You've been killing it. You sell out locally. You've been on the road, crushing. How's the road been treating you?

[Casey Rocket]

It's been good. Been on the road. Went to Philly rally, made a couple paper. I'm all about my paper. I.

[Rabbi]

Okay.

[Casey Rocket]

It's been fun. Been riffing around the globe, putting a. Putting my money away. Putting away in stocks. Investing riffin.

[Redban]

Thank you.

[Casey Rocket]

Big stock.

[Holden DeShazo]

Yeah, it's been fun.

[Dom Irrera]

You're investing in stocks? Yep.

[Casey Rocket]

My two passions in life.

[Brian Licata]

Stocks,

[Casey Rocket]

Worms from Dune.

[Dom Irrera]

Those are the big two.

[Redban]

Yup.

[Casey Rocket]

One worm freak out there.

[Redban]

Love to see it. Very scary. Yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

But.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, I've been putting money away, so I thought it might be interesting for the interview if I could pitch some stocks to you guys. I've been. That sound good to everybody. I put you a couple stocks.

[Redban]

Okay. Yeah, I like this.

[Casey Rocket]

Let me go grab. Tony got me a Walgreens gift card. So I visualized some of these stocks I've been putting money in. I've been getting tenfold, 20 fold my money. So I'm gonna show you guys a

[Holden DeShazo]

couple stocks real quick.

[Redban]

Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

He's gonna grab his Walgreens photos.

[Heidi]

Is this a seminar?

[Redban]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dom Irrera]

This is incred.

[Redban]

This is a true presentation. I don't think we've ever had anything

[Dom Irrera]

like this on this show before.

[Redban]

Ever.

[Dom Irrera]

We've been doing this show 11 years. I've never. Oh, my God.

[Redban]

He has a jacket. Oh, my God.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, yeah.

[Rich Voss]

He's more of a writer.

[Casey Rocket]

So, as most of you know, stocks are big this time of year, especially around the holidays. I've been. These are a couple stocks. I. But I got two stock picks. If you guys pick on these stocks, I have no affiliation with them whatsoever. Doesn't matter to me. But you can make a pretty big coin. Stock number.

[Holden DeShazo]

No.

[Casey Rocket]

Stock number one. This is Car Racks. So it's kind of like truck nuts, but it's tits for cars,

[Rabbi]

so it's boobs for cars.

[Casey Rocket]

That's about it. But it's 2,500 doll for each boob. So nice. Even five grand. There's a PG13 version. This one's for moms. So it's got a little bra on it. It's kind of sexy to think about around the holidays.

[Dom Irrera]

That's incredible.

[Casey Rocket]

So this is what, this one actually. This is actually a good one. This is Scream Powered Cars. So this is Monsters, Inc. Technology. So that's Mike Wazowski, founder, CEO of Scream, Inc. It's actually Shrink Automotive Screak Automotive. Screaks Mod Motive. It's Scream Daily Smug Logging. And that's Mike Lubisky, he's CEO, founder. Scream in the Car, you get. It's like a Tesla. You don't charge it, just give it a good scream. You'll get 100 miles per scream, guaranteed. $5,000 per car. Not bad. These are so. Yeah, this is just a continuation of Screak Automatic. And so this is. You can get a couple ghosts on your team. You could fucking go from here to rally night.

[Redban]

Pretty cool.

[Casey Rocket]

This is number two. This is only the second stock. I'm only on the second one, so.

[Redban]

We love it. Take your time. Everybody likes it. This is amazing.

[Casey Rocket]

Going faster. This is 1-800-Guns for goose.

[Redban]

So

[Casey Rocket]

basically it's me and my friend Brandon. If you give me $100, we will give a goose a gun. And whatever happens after that just depends on how well you treated the goose before we met you. Oh, bonus stock.

[Redban]

Whoa.

[Casey Rocket]

There's one bonus stock, so technically it's three stocks. This one's actually pretty exciting. This is upscale, unhoused. So this is kind of. For too long, we've seen homeless people who aren't that sexy.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah, I kind of want to put

[Redban]

an end to that.

[Casey Rocket]

So this is for $19 a day for three weeks. You can give fishnets to a homeless person, and they will stay outside your business, they will stay outside your apartment, and they're gonna be a little bit hotter than you remember them being

[Rabbi]

before

[Casey Rocket]

they put on the. So that's my stock. So pretty cool to think about.

[Redban]

Unbelievable presentation. In the history of the show, I've never seen anything quite like it.

[Dom Irrera]

So how much is it to put fishnets on a homeless person?

[Casey Rocket]

Oh, I should know. It was. It was $19 a day for three weeks, wasn't it? I never forget. I work hand in hand with these companies free of charge.

[Dom Irrera]

An unbelievable deal. I would definitely like to invest. Anybody? Eleanor?

[Heidi]

Yeah. I think it's like Carrot Top on meth. We need to sell this to Vegas. This is great. I love this. The stock I'm in $19. How many?

[Hannah Gray]

Three weeks.

[Redban]

Three weeks.

[Rabbi]

I got you.

[Casey Rocket]

So that's 1800 bucks.

[Heidi]

Plus, I want to see Nuts in

[Redban]

a Fishnet Rich Vaas.

[Rich Boss]

I'd rather invest in property in Gaza.

[Heidi]

You don't want to see a homeless person shit through fishnets. That'd be amazing.

[Rich Boss]

I don't have that kind of money.

[Uncle Laser]

Go ahead.

[Redban]

Dam.

[Rich Voss]

What was I saying?

[Redban]

I don't know.

[Rich Voss]

No, I mean, seriously, you learn about stocks and you still enjoy yourself. You see the hilarity in that?

[Redban]

I didn't know that.

[Rich Voss]

And I thank you. Thank you, sir. I didn't know all these little details. Plus, I learned more jokes.

[Redban]

Thank you.

[Rich Voss]

Now, you are phenomenal. You are phenomenal. I mean, I grew up watching you, and I love you.

[Redban]

So Don thinks you're Robin Williams right now, so that's a big compliment. That's a big compliment. We're not gonna tell him. We're not gonna tell him.

[Dom Irrera]

How about one more time for Robin

[Redban]

Williams, Ladies and gentlemen, Absolute killing. Thank you. Seriously, make some noise for Casey Rocket. Appreciate it, everybody.

[Casey Rocket]

Have a good night.

[Redban]

And like that, the show has begun. And immediately we move to the bucket. Now, this is where anything can happen. Now, sometimes it's a crazy person. It's terrible. Sometimes it's someone that is ready to become a superstar. It could be anywhere in between. They get 60 seconds uninterrupted, and then we talk to them. Oh, look who has real boobs in his hands for the first time ever. Wow, look at that. You're gonna be sucking Knows when this lesbian leaves you. I love it. She's actually going to get more turned on by the car wrecks than you. I could tell. All right, ladies and gentlemen, I'M pretty sure this is a brand new name. I would recognize it. Make some noise for your first comedian out of the bucket.

[Dom Irrera]

Anything can happen.

[Redban]

60 seconds uninterrupted for Q Rose, everyone. Q. Rose starting the show. Here we go.

[Q Rose]

Hey, how's everybody doing tonight, y'?

[Holden DeShazo]

All?

[Q Rose]

Right, y', all, give it up for me and my girl for three and a half years. Just found out we about to have a baby.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Q Rose]

Kind of makes me feel bad about the cheating I've been doing lately. I'm just playing, y'.

[Redban]

All.

[Q Rose]

I don't feel bad. I love it being. I love being here in Texas, man. I'm from Texas, man. Our racism here is just. It's far superior than other states, man. I'm telling you. It's. Cause you could. It's big and small at the same time. You know what I'm saying? Like, I went to an all white neighborhood. I went to all black high school, right? And we had one white guy join the football team, right? And we called him White Mike. And it took me years to realize there were no other Michaels on the team. We could just call them, I don't know, just Mike. And it been good. All I'm saying is, wasn't even the worst nickname we had, right? We had a Mexican guy joining team, right? And we just called him Mexico. And when his cousin joined team, we just called him New Mexico. So really messed up. When I graduated, found out them niggas was Puerto Rican. It was bad. All right, thank you. I'm Q. Rose. Thanks for listening.

[Dom Irrera]

Q.

[Redban]

Rose, making his final Tony debut. Hell, yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Welcome, Q Rose. How long you been doing stand up for?

[Q Rose]

I've been doing stand up currently about seven years. I started off in Philly.

[Dom Irrera]

Seven years from Philly. I love it. Eleanor and Dom are both originally from Philly.

[Q Rose]

I'm from Dallas, but I started out in Philly.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, okay. Now they hate you. Okay.

[Rich Boss]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

You had everything going for you with a passion. Wanted to get that Dallas love. And it's not now.

[Q Rose]

Go Birds.

[Dom Irrera]

It's cool. Yeah, there you go.

[Q Rose]

Cowboys first.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, very good.

[Redban]

All right.

[Dom Irrera]

I can't remember.

[Q Rose]

I'll be all right.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay.

[Rich Boss]

How's the Bob Marley movie doing for you now?

[Redban]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Q Rose]

About as good as whatever old movie you watch.

[Redban]

Oh, shit.

[Dom Irrera]

An attempt at a roast joke there

[Redban]

by Q Rose that fell completely flat.

[Dom Irrera]

She's been doing stand up for about seven years. Originally from Philly. Are you really? Do you really have a baby on the way, actually?

[Q Rose]

Nah, she's about to be seven Now.

[Redban]

Oh, I've been doing that joke since you started. Huh? Oh, busted. Busted. Out here doing his fucking gold mater. Seven years of fucking sheen on that joint.

[Q Rose]

I love my baby. I'm gonna keep talking about her forever.

[Dom Irrera]

I love it. Seven years and you're still in her life?

[Q Rose]

Oh, no.

[Dom Irrera]

Absolutely incredible.

[Redban]

Unprecedented. Amazing.

[Q Rose]

Nah, I beat the stereotype. We good?

[Dom Irrera]

I love it. I love it, I love it. And you're still with the baby mama as well.

[Q Rose]

Okay,

[Heidi]

Looks like you're back.

[Uncle Laser]

Here we go.

[Redban]

Eat something.

[Dom Irrera]

Other than the stereotype, it appears. Where's she at? Where's the baby mama?

[Q Rose]

Nah, nah. She's up in Detroit. You know, we met in the military, so.

[Dom Irrera]

Met in the military. What branch of the military?

[Q Rose]

Air Force. I'm an Air Force veteran.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay. Black Hawk down.

[Rich Boss]

They don't go down.

[Redban]

All right. Black. Well, I mean, Kobe Bryant.

[Kent Hunter]

Oh, no.

[Dom Irrera]

A helicopter crash joke.

[Kent Hunter]

Oh.

[Q Rose]

Oh, my goodness.

[Redban]

Flag on the play. No Kobe Bryant jokes allowed.

[Dom Irrera]

Everyone knows anything. This is hard.

[Q Rose]

It's hard to joke, you know, about someone. The real talent, you know.

[Redban]

Oh, yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Are you standing up for Kobe right now?

[Redban]

Are you defending Kobe from the grave against me? Because you're saying. You're saying I don't have talent.

[Dom Irrera]

I mean, are you. Are you the spokesperson for the corpse

[Redban]

of Kobe Bryant right now?

[Q Rose]

I mean, we got a goat, and then, you know. You know, he's the goat. He's a goat.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Rabbi]

What?

[Redban]

He did. I'd like to see an episode of Kill Kobe. Cause this ain't easy. It's not easy.

[Q Rose]

Nah, nah, it's great. Y' all both great.

[Dom Irrera]

I like to see Kobe do this, right?

[Redban]

Not easy. I'm over here.

[Dom Irrera]

I'm hosting. I'm trying to make jokes, keeping an

[Redban]

eye on Red Band.

[Dom Irrera]

I've had to use one of those pads you bring somebody to life with. I have those under the table just

[Redban]

in case Dom gives up on us here. Anything can happen. We're having fun tonight.

[Dom Irrera]

We're goofing around.

[Rich Boss]

What is there?

[Q Rose]

I just got a feeling if I see you do a jump shot, I'm gonna laugh even harder at your jokes.

[Dom Irrera]

I will fucking ball all over you, dude.

[Redban]

You wanna play a game of one

[Dom Irrera]

on one after this?

[Redban]

Do you even play basketball?

[Q Rose]

Oh, my goodness. Like, you look like a referee.

[Rabbi]

Like I do.

[Redban]

I referee, and I'm gonna referee our game, and I'm gonna call a lot of fouls on you.

[Q Rose]

I will murder you 111 to nothing.

[Redban]

I think you would murder me. I don't think you would beat me in basketball, two different things.

[Rabbi]

Complet?

[Redban]

Okay, Q. Rose. So let's talk about it.

[Dom Irrera]

You've been doing stand up. Where do you live now?

[Q Rose]

I live in Dallas. I live in Dallas.

[Dom Irrera]

How do you make a living?

[Q Rose]

I run an activity center. I own an activity center.

[Dom Irrera]

What kind of activity center exactly?

[Q Rose]

So you can get full court basketball in the back court in the backyard. You know what I'm saying?

[Redban]

Oh, you know what? If you're running a activity center with a basketball court, maybe I'll play in table tennis or something like that instead.

[Q Rose]

I got that, too. But I'll murder your beer pong, though.

[Redban]

For real?

[Dom Irrera]

Beer pong?

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay.

[Q Rose]

Any sport, Anything?

[Rich Voss]

Nope.

[Redban]

Absolutely.

[Q Rose]

I'm trying to figure out what I think you could get me at.

[Dom Irrera]

I'll beat you in paper, scissors, rocks right now.

[Redban]

Are you ready for this? You know how to do it now? Do you go 1, 2, throw, or

[Dom Irrera]

1, 2, 3, shoot?

[Redban]

Because you'll shoot. Billy and Dallas.

[Q Rose]

Yeah, we'll shoot. I went up north. They do the shoot.

[Redban]

They do the shoot.

[Dom Irrera]

One, two, shoot.

[Q Rose]

One, two, three, shoot.

[Rabbi]

Shoot.

[Redban]

Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

One, two, three, Shoot.

[Redban]

Okay, like that. Okay, okay, ready?

[Dom Irrera]

One, two, three, shoot.

[Redban]

One, two, three, shoot dot okay, okay. This guy's good. He's trying to get in my head here. All right, this is the part where I win.

[Dom Irrera]

You know what you're gonna throw.

[Redban]

All right, Ready? One, two, three, shoot. Boom.

[Dom Irrera]

It's over.

[Redban]

Get out of here.

[Dom Irrera]

All right, Q, anything crazy about your life or your history that we should know about you before letting you go? Like, craziest thing about your life?

[Redban]

Life?

[Dom Irrera]

You ever do anything? Get in trouble? Have any special skills or talents? Anything wild?

[Q Rose]

I mean, shoot, man. I'm shooting.

[Redban]

We already did shoot.

[Dom Irrera]

And you lost, Mr.

[Redban]

I'll beat you in anything.

[Q Rose]

Oh, I just knew you was gonna choose paper because you just so white.

[Redban]

But that is ridiculous.

[Dom Irrera]

That doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

[Cam Patterson]

It worked.

[Brian Licata]

It worked.

[Rich Boss]

Black comics love talking about white people crazy. They pay taxes.

[Q Rose]

I'm an Air Force veteran. Thank you for your taxes. All by me.

[Dom Irrera]

That is true. That is true.

[Redban]

We love you for the Air Force thing.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, Q.

[Redban]

Rose.

[Dom Irrera]

Well, welcome to the show. Congratulations. Fun times. How I can't even remember what your set was like. What do we think?

[Redban]

Well, really, Red Band's itching to the little joke book. Here you go, my friend. There he goes. Key Rose, everybody. All right. And like that, it's on. The show has begun. You guys get it? Everybody having fun?

[William Montgomery]

All right.

[Redban]

Pulled another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Mike Ryan. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Mike Ryan. Here he is.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't like to make assumptions about people, but I feel like every time I've seen a homeless guy on a bicycle, they stole that bicycle. If you don't believe me, next time you see a homeless guy on a

[Redban]

bicycle, just yell, that's my fucking bike.

[Mike Ryan]

And just see how they react. I got in a fight with a homeless guy one time. I was working at this club, and he reached over the balcony, grabbed this girl's ass, so I had to shoo him away. As I was shooting him away, he said, hey, you fat. I'm gonna come back next week. I'm gonna kick your ass. I just went about my day because he's a homeless guy, but he came back the next week, looked like he put the crack pipe down because he gained about 30 pounds, solid muscle. His hands were taped up like a professional boxer, and he shadow boxed all the way up. Me, I did the only thing a reasonable human being could do in that situation, and I hit him with a bottle, and then I stole his bike. As I was riding away, somebody yelled,

[Rabbi]

hey, that's my bike.

[Redban]

Thanks, guys. Okay, 57 seconds from Mike Ryan doing

[Dom Irrera]

a little homeless people with bicycles thing.

[Redban]

How's it going, Mike?

[Mike Ryan]

It's good. How you doing tonight?

[Dom Irrera]

You've been on this show before, correct?

[Mike Ryan]

Three weeks ago.

[Dom Irrera]

How did that go for you? Remind me.

[Mike Ryan]

I got the big book. I did secret show camp. Patterson stopped me in the street, told me I was funny, as booked me for the regulars two weeks ago, and I'm on it again tomorrow.

[Redban]

Wow. Incredible. And this all started because of that

[Dom Irrera]

appearance three weeks ago?

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

A lot's changed in three weeks.

[Dom Irrera]

Tell me, what else has changed in three weeks? You look five pounds heavier.

[Q Rose]

Thank you.

[Rich Voss]

Thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

Now I'm on Ozempic, so I'm actually down like £50.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, what else has changed in the last three weeks?

[Mike Ryan]

Like, I'd only been doing it three and a half months at the time. Now it's been four months. So I'd only done open mics up until that point, and now I'm getting booked, actually organized, my own show in Houston. Yeah, on the 20th. It sold out in seven hours.

[Redban]

Wow.

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah.

[Redban]

You sold out a show in seven hours? Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

I mean, how did you do that?

[Mike Ryan]

I was a promoter for 12 years and a rapper, so.

[Redban]

A rapper? Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

You rap Three weeks ago?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, we'll rap again.

[Redban]

Let's rap again. I want to hear your rap. I don't even remember all Right.

[Dom Irrera]

One, two. Oh.

[Redban]

Oh. They're holding me up on this one. Matt Muling's scared.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh.

[Uncle Laser]

Huh?

[Mike Ryan]

The microphone killer Used to be a

[Rich Boss]

dope dealer Now I'm just a rhyme

[Redban]

spiller Couldn't be real if I try

[Mike Ryan]

don't lie and if I gotta die

[Redban]

probably be a homicide Cause I'm from

[Mike Ryan]

Houston it's gruesome the city be a threesome or two some I'm nuisance on

[Redban]

his feet yeah, I'm about to do

[Mike Ryan]

it like you've never seen it.

[Redban]

I can't understand what you're. Hold on.

[Dom Irrera]

Stop it.

[Redban]

Can you guys understand what he's saying? Right?

[Dom Irrera]

Nobody can understand the bass and the drums. It's a little bit too loud. Why don't we try it again? A little bit softer, guys. A little bit lower, but. And you. And you enunciate a little bit harder.

[Mike Ryan]

Do acapella.

[Dom Irrera]

Do you want to do it? Let's do it. Acapella. Then the band. Sounds fantastic.

[Redban]

Much better.

[Mike Ryan]

Best band of all time. I love you guys.

[Redban]

All right. You pandering. Unbelievable.

[Dom Irrera]

I say that the best now, huh?

[Mike Ryan]

The microphone killer Used to be a dope dealer Now I'm just a r. Spiller Couldn't be realer if I tried don't lie. And if I got to die probably be a homicide Cuz I'm from Houston it's gruesome the city be a threesome or twosome I'm a nuisance on this be.

[Dom Irrera]

This is all memorized, correct?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, this is.

[Redban]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

This is incredible. I could do this in my sleep. Do you know that? I could do what rappers do in my sleep. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Tony, you're the best, man. I hate to pander again.

[Dom Irrera]

Kind of incredible, right? I mean, they come up with all this stuff, you know, I'm better than you in every way. The shirts, the pants. I just beat a black guy in. Paper, scissors, rock.

[Rich Boss]

So.

[Rich Voss]

So.

[Redban]

And you're interrupt. You're literally interrupting me while I.

[Holden DeShazo]

You don't even.

[Redban]

Fuck it.

[Dom Irrera]

Unbelievable.

[Redban]

Do you see that? I just housed him while he's talking to me.

[Mike Ryan]

That's actually. I wanted to. So when I did the secret squeeze

[Dom Irrera]

this shoehorn in your thing. Guys, stop playing.

[Redban]

This guy has to say whatever the fuck he's about to say right now. When I. The ozempic is going to your brain dud. This guy just lost a pound of

[Dom Irrera]

brain cells while he was up here. Go ahead.

[Mike Ryan]

When I did secret show, you showed up in the green room and you and your entourage were all wearing matching jackets. And it was like, the coolest thing I'd ever seen. And you walk in and you just roasted everybody in the room.

[Redban]

Matching jackets. The Are you. Every time somebody's like, hey, I need

[Dom Irrera]

to just tell this story, they just go into some made up.

[Mike Ryan]

No, dude, you had that. They were in family and friends. Kill Tony jackets.

[Rabbi]

Okay?

[Dom Irrera]

That's not matching jackets.

[Mike Ryan]

I thought it was really fucking cool, dude.

[Cam Patterson]

I'm sorry.

[Mike Ryan]

I was trying to give you your flowers.

[Dom Irrera]

How many people were in this entre? How do you remember this story? You remember four people.

[Redban]

Me coming in with four people, and

[Dom Irrera]

we're all wearing the same jacket.

[Mike Ryan]

No, three of you wearing the same jacket. One of them wasn't.

[Heidi]

Okay, outsider.

[Mike Ryan]

It was cool, man.

[Redban]

Like, watching your whole story that you

[Dom Irrera]

interrupted my rap for is.

[Redban]

I was wearing the same jacket as

[Dom Irrera]

two producers of the show.

[Redban]

Paulie Shar. Oh, my. Come in here. I needed backup.

[Pauly Shore]

I know you're supposed to. What's up, you guys?

[Rich Boss]

How's it going?

[Redban]

Pauly Shore, ladies and gentlemen, Comedy Store royalty.

[Pauly Shore]

I know you said you were supposed to bring me out when you said a certain word, but this guy. Dude, they didn't have matching. Dude, I was there, bro.

[Redban]

Kill Tony jacket. He says it like. We all came in wearing, like, jumpsuits, like we're about to brain dance or something like that. You and your entourage came in.

[Mike Ryan]

I thought it was cool as. Dude watching you.

[Redban]

It's the show.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

No, it's the show that you're on.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I get it.

[Rich Boss]

Yeah.

[Uncle Laser]

Okay.

[Rabbi]

All right.

[Mike Ryan]

But watching you roast a room full of people, it was like watching da Vinci paint, bro. I mean, I was just. I love roast, and it was just really cool.

[Dom Irrera]

I know. You're the best performer I've ever seen

[Redban]

in my entire life, Mike. There you go. You got a big joke book last time.

[Dom Irrera]

Guess what, buddy.

[Redban]

You're leaving with a small one this time. Gotta do something with it. Mike Ryan, everybody. No, I'm done rapping. I'm retiring forever. It hurt my brain straight to the gullet. I just got told a fake story by a guy with a mullet. I bet he has bad breath. Here's Heidi with Liquid Death. All right, stupid, you make some noise for your next comedian. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Brian T. Lakata, everybody. Brian T. What's up, guys? What's up? What's up? How are you?

[Brian Licata]

So I just got married recently, right? And my wife, she's dubbed it a modern, traditional relationship, right? And that means she's got the job. But I Still had to buy the engagement ring, right? You know, and you know, I'm worried about it, right? You know, because I don't want to get divorced. And I'm talking to one of my real ginzo, you know, Italian friends, right?

[Heidi]

And hilarious.

[Brian Licata]

He was like, yo, dude, how. How are you possibly gonna stay with her for a forever, right? And I was like, I'm not, you know, like, statistically speaking, there's absolutely no way that I'm gonna make it to the end of this thing, right?

[Redban]

And

[Rich Voss]

are you interested in stocks?

[Redban]

But, but, but, but no.

[Dom Irrera]

Right?

[Brian Licata]

So I'm in this modern, traditional relationship with her and I was, I was, you know, she's so modern. Modern, right. And I'm so traditional. She's so modern that she paid for this trip, right? And I'm traditional. So if she didn't pay for it, I would have hit her, you know.

[Dom Irrera]

No.

[Redban]

Shut up, Brian.

[Dom Irrera]

Zero. What was supposed to, what was supposed to happen there exactly?

[Brian Licata]

Well, you know, I was in town for one more night and I didn't have much to do, so I signed

[Dom Irrera]

up for a show where people do stand up comedy.

[Brian Licata]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Eleanor Kerrigan.

[Brian Licata]

Working. I'm working on my writing. Yeah. Working out the of. Very, very difficult.

[Heidi]

That's my tech guy. He does my videos.

[Dom Irrera]

Are you serious? Are you. Are you serious? Your tech guy signed up and just

[Redban]

ate a pile of hot on the.

[Brian Licata]

I mean, at least I got called.

[Redban]

You didn't know you were going to get called? Yeah, no one knows they're going to get called.

[Dom Irrera]

Have you ever seen the show before? No.

[Redban]

I'm going to put you through 10 minutes of hell. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. I am so sick of this. I thought it was going to go good.

[Dom Irrera]

I'm going to practice my writing. Why don't you practice your writing before coming on a show with a million

[Redban]

people watching you numbnuts?

[Dom Irrera]

So what do you do?

[Redban]

You're a video editor?

[Brian Licata]

Yeah. And a video producer.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, a producer as well.

[Redban]

I make video.

[Dom Irrera]

What the are you producing? What do you make with your imagination, with your brain?

[Redban]

Tell me what you produce.

[Brian Licata]

Producing Dom's podcast and

[Rabbi]

that's why.

[Pauly Shore]

What's my name? What's my name?

[Rich Voss]

What the fuck were you thinking?

[Rabbi]

He's trying to get viewers. He's trying to get viewers.

[Dom Irrera]

Something I'm trying to give viewers.

[Hannah Gray]

Dom.

[Dom Irrera]

Dom, is this, this is your right hand man.

[Redban]

Dom was.

[Rich Voss]

Was. I don't know what he was thinking.

[Dom Irrera]

This is absolutely incredible. So you've never tried standup comedy before?

[Brian Licata]

I. I've done two minutes before.

[Dom Irrera]

Where? Where did you do two minutes?

[Brian Licata]

I don't really want to talk about it.

[Dom Irrera]

Well, I don't care.

[Brian Licata]

I didn't show two minutes on a show in Atlantic City.

[Rich Voss]

And is it his mother's?

[Redban]

This one? I have a feeling a lot of guys have done two minutes in this guy's mother's cunt.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, so Brian, you signed up for the show. What did you think was going to happen? What's the best that could have happened? What did you think this show was?

[Brian Licata]

Well, I. I knew what it was and I knew I was going to bomb, but I was hoping to get the opportunity to at least come out here and see that I probably shouldn't do stand up.

[Dom Irrera]

But you also know that after the minute I interview people.

[Redban]

Oh yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

And I find out more about them. So why don't you tell me one interesting thing about you? I want to know because I know

[Redban]

a lot of video editors and let me tell you, some of the most boring, dull people I've ever met.

[Brian Licata]

Okay, so you might find this interesting. I used to shoot crystal meth in my neck.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, wow.

[Redban]

Okay, now we're getting something.

[Brian Licata]

Used to you. Still used to you.

[Redban]

Still.

[Rich Boss]

You do have a big neck. So right here you look like a Argonaut.

[Dom Irrera]

Incredible. Yes, absolutely. D Madness.

[Redban]

Are you on a phone call right now? What the is going on with this show tonight? This is on a phone call. I got your guys video editor signing up for the goddamn show. 220 Many souls dying to get on this show. Signing up every week.

[Dom Irrera]

Some editor from la.

[Redban]

I was just here for one.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, you live in Jersey.

[Rabbi]

Yes.

[Dom Irrera]

So you. How do you do? Dom's podcast from New Jersey.

[Brian Licata]

We produce it online.

[Redban]

Oh my God, I hate you more and more of every second that takes.

[Brian Licata]

Well, it's just because doesn't want us together in the same.

[Dom Irrera]

Shut the fuck up, Brian. So they send you the raw video file. How does this work exactly?

[Brian Licata]

No, we shoot it all together online and then I cut it up together.

[Uncle Laser]

Zoom.

[Redban]

It's zoom.

[Dom Irrera]

And then you say that you produce that. So somebody sets up Dom's camera for him, right? And you sit there and you hit record on the zoom.

[Redban]

And that makes you a producer?

[Brian Licata]

Well, it's really more of the editing aspect is.

[Redban]

Okay, so what do you edit? What do you edit?

[Brian Licata]

Well, you know, some words that you're not allowed to say anymore. So we just make sure those don't go into the show.

[Redban]

I'VE heard some of the words that Dom say, that you actually have a lot of work on your hand. He deserves a race.

[Rich Boss]

Hey, can I tell them the next act is my real estate agent?

[Rabbi]

Yeah.

[Redban]

It is incredible. It's unbelievable.

[Dom Irrera]

Brian, what do you think? The funniest thing you've ever done in your entire life.

[Redban]

Life is probably bomb here. No, come on.

[Dom Irrera]

The funniest thing. I mean, seriously. Here you are, you signed up for a comedy show. And I love this. You know what I get a lot of is what I. What I.

[Redban]

What I've heard a lot is that.

[Dom Irrera]

You know what I hate? What Tony does is when somebody signs

[Redban]

up that didn't prepare and didn't do Tony.

[Dom Irrera]

And Tony St. Sits there and he interviews.

[Redban]

Interviews them.

[Dom Irrera]

He should just get rid of them immediately. But I think the exact opposite, Brian. I want to keep you up here

[Redban]

and squeeze the absolute life out of you.

[Rabbi]

Oh, yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

I want to send you back to Jersey, human. Thank you.

[Redban]

You're bombed again, Brian. Every word you say, every time you

[Dom Irrera]

say anything, you're worse. You're digging yourself a deeper hole. I'm gonna make sure that every time you're on, you're on dating apps and things like that. You have a girl girlfriend.

[Redban]

No, you don't.

[Dom Irrera]

I'm gonna make this your bio for

[Redban]

dating apps and things like that. I'm gonna.

[Dom Irrera]

I'm gonna force this upon you. I'm gonna make fake Brian Licata

[Redban]

Tinder profiles. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

And this is gonna be your bio is this interview. So tell me the most interesting thing about you, Brian, right now.

[Brian Licata]

Don't do it.

[Redban]

It's a trap.

[Brian Licata]

The most interesting thing about me. Me is. There's just so many things. There's just so many things.

[Dom Irrera]

He's moving around.

[Redban]

It's like an unfunny Casey rocket. Everybody, it's the challenger Rocket. Wow.

[Dom Irrera]

Look at him.

[Redban]

Look.

[Dom Irrera]

Look at. Look at the sadness. Searching for the words.

[Heidi]

This is getting worse and worse.

[Dom Irrera]

You know what?

[Redban]

I'm gonna do something we've never done

[Dom Irrera]

on this show before. Carrie Mitchell is the head of food and beverage here. How about a hand for Carrie?

[Redban]

I'm gonna make an order that we've never had before. Can I have a syringe of crystal meth? We're going to inject your neck one more time and we're going to have you.

[Dom Irrera]

Actually, I know a guy that drove here from Jersey.

[Redban]

So rich, you're gonna have to give him a ride home. The good news is you'll be able to drive when you get tired.

[Rich Boss]

I have 38 years sober. After that, I want to get high. He just fucked up my whole fucking life.

[Redban]

It's unbelievable.

[Dom Irrera]

Brian, you're not allowed to sign up for the show for the rest of your life.

[Redban]

I don't ever want to see you again. I'm gonna make sure Dom fires you. I'm gonna make sure, Eleanor, you'll never

[Dom Irrera]

work in show business.

[Redban]

And by show business, I mean recording other people's Zoom podcasts again. Blacklisted, Tony. Blacklisted here is actually. You get no joke book, no keychain, no Harry situation book. You get nothing. I want you to leave. I want you to never come back.

[Dom Irrera]

You go back to poor choices across

[Redban]

the street and you stay there.

[Dom Irrera]

I want security to handle this.

[Redban]

He's not allowed to hang out.

[Rich Voss]

Wait, A permanent vote? Thank you. Thank you. What the were you thinking? Look at

[Rich Boss]

my.

[Brian Licata]

My flight wasn't until tomorrow.

[Redban]

What?

[Brian Licata]

Said my flight wasn't until tomorrow.

[Redban]

Okay, very good, Brian. I hate you with every ounce inside of me. I. I can't stand you.

[Dom Irrera]

You're one of the worst human beings in the history of the show. You're terrible. I like your gold chain, though. You can leave that.

[Redban]

There he goes. Brian Licata. Get him out of here. Don't clap, don't clap. Hold silence.

[Heidi]

Do not encourage that at all.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Fuck.

[Heidi]

I am sorry. I will have him execute it. I apologize.

[Rich Boss]

Well, you can't hang him with that neck.

[Redban]

Is unbelievable believable.

[Dom Irrera]

If you could see. I mean, like, William Montgomery signed up for a whole year without getting up.

[Redban]

Well, like that are getting pulled out of the bucket. So there's only one way to bring the show back to life again. Ladies and gentlemen, we have another regular. He is a sensation, a force of nature. Make some noise for Kill. Tony's own Cam Patterson, everybody.

[Cam Patterson]

That last nigga was terrible. So I took his chain.

[Q Rose]

You know what I'm saying?

[Rabbi]

Hey, Tony. Tony. I told you I got you, nigga. Fuck that. Nah.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah, garbage ass nigga. Nigga was terrible, dawg. I'm glad it was bad. Cause my minute ain't gonna be great. All right, let's get.

[Rabbi]

Let's get into it.

[Cam Patterson]

I've been trying this shit all week. N a nobody been laughing. But I got a haircut and I'm pissed off about it. I like I look like a bitch, man. I look like a real funk nigga right now. I used to look like a real street nigga, man. Now I look like a white lady got her hands on, like a rottweiler or something. And painted his nails blue. I feel like a real funk nigga right now. My mama told me I should do it. Thought it would be a good idea, but I shouldn't trust that bitch. She's a horrible person. She had me getting ball fade until I was, like, in seventh grade. She not a good person to talk about with hair. You know what I'm saying? Okay. I told y' all I wasn't gonna be great. What I said, I said it. Somebody told me I look like. Like a High School Musical basketball star. That pissed me the fuck off. It sounded like the black Corbin Bleu. That nigga already black, dog.

[Rabbi]

He's already a nigga.

[Cam Patterson]

It can't be a black nigga. It's already a nigga already.

[Rabbi]

Man, that shit.

[Cam Patterson]

I look like. I look like that one episode of spongebob. He was like, I'm normal.

[Rabbi]

Goof ass nigga.

[Redban]

I'm done. Cam Patterson. An unbelievable minute after Brian Licata.

[Heidi]

No, no, no, no, no, Dominic, no, no.

[Redban]

You're not allowed to say the N word.

[Cam Patterson]

Dominic.

[Redban]

We're gonna have Brian edit it out if you do.

[Pauly Shore]

No.

[Redban]

Yes. You can think it, Dom. I give you permission to think the N word right now.

[Rich Voss]

Pussy.

[Redban]

I love the haircut, Cam.

[Dom Irrera]

Where did you get it done at? Did you go to a white Burmer?

[Cam Patterson]

Hell no. No, no, no. I went to a black barber, but he like. I told him to take a little bit off the top, and he just got trigger happy, dog.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

And it started going crazy. He did a good job. I do look like a young man. Young man.

[Rich Boss]

I don't like that guy getting trigger happy.

[Dom Irrera]

Was it a drive by haircut?

[Cam Patterson]

It was bad, bro. I mean, I like it. It's great. It'll get better.

[Dom Irrera]

It's cool. For some reason, I can't remember what was. What was your hair like before? This is like, so different.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Rabbi]

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

[Dom Irrera]

Explain to me why it was up.

[Cam Patterson]

It was.

[Pauly Shore]

It was twist.

[Redban]

It was two strand twists.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, that's right.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah. That's what's funny about that.

[Dom Irrera]

I don't know this one.

[Redban]

Like, I got men in black. It, like, erased my memory of what your hair was like.

[Cam Patterson]

I'm just scanning for a bald person to take the blame.

[Dom Irrera]

I want to know why D said that was up. You very rarely. Of all the. That I say up here, you very rarely say that's up. I'm excited to hear why me not remembering what his hair was like before up. Is that a racial thing?

[Redban]

You tour with this brother every Week.

[Rich Voss]

He's your number one black man every week.

[Redban]

And you can't remember that his hair used to hang past his earring, too? The. You take my life. Thank you so much.

[Cam Patterson]

Oh, my God.

[Dom Irrera]

Thank you, sir. You are correct.

[Redban]

My number two and my number three black men are all you behind me. How dare I forget what my number

[Dom Irrera]

one black man's hair was like before. Now you got a little twist in the front.

[Rabbi]

I don't think my hair curl.

[Dom Irrera]

I got good hair now, okay?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I got good hair.

[Cam Patterson]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dom Irrera]

What do you do to it? How does that work?

[Redban]

Do you wear water?

[Dom Irrera]

Do you wear one of those, like, head. Head things at night?

[Cam Patterson]

N. I water? Not with this, no. I just straight. I. I wet that bit. I put a little moisturizer in it, and I just hit. You know what I'm saying?

[Heidi]

No, we don't.

[Cam Patterson]

You don't get.

[Redban]

No, we don't.

[Dom Irrera]

We don't put moisture.

[Holden DeShazo]

You know what?

[Cam Patterson]

To my.

[Redban]

He get it.

[Dom Irrera]

This guy gets it.

[Heidi]

Now you're hitting on me.

[Cam Patterson]

All right, now don't play crazy.

[Rabbi]

I got you.

[Cam Patterson]

I fought Cougars, all right?

[Redban]

Oh, hell, yeah. Absolutely. White cougar, meet black panther. This is incredible. A meeting of the minds over here.

[Heidi]

I'll take his rocks out of his pocket.

[Rabbi]

Oh, oh, wait a minute, man.

[Redban]

Oh, shit. Wait a minute.

[Rabbi]

I'm scared now.

[Cam Patterson]

I got nervous. Wait a minute. I got cold feet.

[Redban]

I love it. What else is going on, Cam?

[Dom Irrera]

What else is exciting in life?

[Redban]

Anything else ain't shit.

[Cam Patterson]

Just been running around. My auntie. My auntie is not exciting. My auntie been not out of the hospital. My BB and shit. So I've been going back home, checking on my auntie and shit.

[Dom Irrera]

So your auntie is in and out of the hospital with diabetes?

[Cam Patterson]

No, not that. I mean, that is one of the things, but not the one.

[Redban]

God damn. I thought I heard diabetes. I'm sorry. It was a little bit.

[Dom Irrera]

I don't have a translator here.

[Redban]

Don keeps mumbling the N word, so I'm having trouble hearing right now. The audio in my right ear is a little bit muffled right now. He's thinking it so hard that I can hear it. I know his lips aren't moving, but he's thinking the N word so hard that I can physically hear it.

[Dom Irrera]

It.

[Redban]

He can just said he can see it on the back of his head. It's appearing like some type of digital

[Dom Irrera]

artwork or something like that.

[Rich Voss]

I won't even say the letter anymore. I'll just say, you know what? I'M not allowed to say it.

[Dom Irrera]

Have you ever been called the nword by a white guy?

[Uncle Laser]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Where does that happen at?

[Cam Patterson]

I got. When I was in. When I was in seventh grade, a white boy called me a. And me and my homeboy was. Almost almost killed him.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah.

[Rich Boss]

What did you do, huh?

[Redban]

We just beat. We beat.

[Cam Patterson]

We beat the out of him on the stairs. I can't fight real good. My homeboys can fight real good.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

So when they got him on the ground, started kicking the out on, you

[Redban]

know, teamwork made a dream work, baby. You feel me? Absolutely. 100%. 100%. Well, we love it, Cam.

[Dom Irrera]

Another.

[Redban]

Another fantastic performance. You did it again. Brought the show right back to life like he always does. The phenom Cam Patterson back at it again. Hell yeah. The best.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, you want the chain back?

[Redban]

Oh, make some noise for your next comedian, Biddy o'. Laughlin.

[Dom Irrera]

Everybody.

[Redban]

One more time, Everybody for Bitty O'. Laughlin. Everyone. Make some noise for Bitty, everyone. 60 seconds uninterrupted.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Hi.

[Dom Irrera]

Hi.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

My name's Bitty. I'm from Australia and my pronouns are fuck off. I'm Irish Australian, and I don't drink anymore. So my ancestors are pissed and they're pissed. I'm a single. I was a real mom. Didn't find out the sex of my baby when I was pregnant, but I was kind of hoping for a miscarriage. At 20 weeks, I was convinced I was having a boy because I was sitting on the couch still waiting for him to make a move. And at 10 weeks, I didn't get that test to find out if my baby had down syndrome because I didn't care. I would have raised it. If my kid had an extra chromosome, I would have taught it to say funny things like when people say, we met before they could go, nah, I've just got one of those faces. I had a beautiful girl and I called her Dolly because she likes singing and boobs. Her first word was data. I was like, where? I would.

[Redban]

There you go all the time for Bitty Everybody Video Laughlin, a great Kill Tony debut. Welcome, welcome. Very funny. I could tell by your performance that you do not edit any videos. Remember that? Idiot. All right, Bitty, welcome.

[Dom Irrera]

How long you been doing stand up?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

I started 14 years ago, but then I had had like a nine year break after a couple of years and I just got back into it before the pandemic.

[Dom Irrera]

14 years. What made you take a nine year break?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Well, I fell into bed with too many comedians and developed alcoholism.

[Redban]

Ah, okay.

[Dom Irrera]

And Your alcoholism stopped. Your comedy?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

No, the alcoholism kept going, but I stopped doing comedy and, you know, stayed away from comedians.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Cheers.

[Dom Irrera]

Gotcha.

[Redban]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Imagine many drinks it would take to this guy.

[Redban]

Incredible.

[Dom Irrera]

Absolutely. So, Bitty, you still live in Australia?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

I do.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay. What part?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Adelaide.

[Redban]

Very nice.

[Dom Irrera]

And is there a comedy club there?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

There are two, and I don't get on one of them.

[Dom Irrera]

Right. What are they called again?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

The Rhino Room and the Cranker.

[Dom Irrera]

The Cranker.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

The Cranker.

[Redban]

Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

And what do you do for living?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

I go busking on the streets, like singing for money. And I have single mother benefits at the moment.

[Dom Irrera]

Busking?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

So that's like street art.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, can you give us an example of what you do out on the streets? How many? You want to see what Bitty does on the streets?

[Redban]

Just a little showcase of your talents here.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Well, I don't have my guitar with me.

[Dom Irrera]

You play guitar?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Yeah. Play guitar and sing.

[Dom Irrera]

Like acoustic or electric?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Acoustic.

[Dom Irrera]

Can you play with an electric?

[Redban]

Yeah, you can? Would it be good?

[Dom Irrera]

Why do you say no?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

No, it'd be okay.

[Dom Irrera]

So you need a guitar?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

You can't just sing?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Oh, I can sing.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay.

[Redban]

Can you tell us what chords look like?

[Dom Irrera]

You know, what chords you singing? I'm gonna end up doing this better than you.

[Redban]

This is a theme tonight.

[Dom Irrera]

Anything you can do, I can do better.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Do you know, do you know.

[Redban]

Redman's already got your Instagram up. He's looking at videos of you saying, I've actually followed her for a while.

[Uncle Laser]

Yeah, I know who she is.

[Redban]

Wow, look at that.

[Dom Irrera]

Creepy.

[Redban]

This is my partner, everybody. 11 years, years we've been doing this together.

[Dom Irrera]

How did you end up following her?

[Redban]

Do you know she was recommended by somebody recently? How'd you meet that guy?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

At the Comedy Store in London, many years ago. Yep.

[Heidi]

It's a place.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah, it's not a real Comedy Store.

[Redban]

A lot of people don't know that.

[Dom Irrera]

It's just stole the name from a very famous comedy club. The Comedy Store.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Yeah.

[Q Rose]

In la.

[Dom Irrera]

Very odd that they would call themselves that. A very bold maneuver. I wonder what this story is with that. Probably allowed to do it because they're British and international.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Weird.

[Heidi]

It's in Australia as well, right?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Yeah, they got one in Sydney.

[Dom Irrera]

The Comedy Store in Sydney.

[Redban]

God.

[Dom Irrera]

Bunch of unoriginal ass countries. It's incredible.

[Redban]

Can't come up with a single idea on your own.

[Dom Irrera]

That's why we dominate you with our military anytime we want. How old's your kid now?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

She's nearly three.

[Dom Irrera]

Dolly is nearly Three. Where's Dolly at tonight?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

She's getting babysat by a lady off care.com.

[Redban]

wow.

[Dom Irrera]

Here in Austin, Texas?

[Heidi]

No.

[Dom Irrera]

So you just found a random lady?

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Well, you have to pay, so I figured they vetted them. And she also said she didn't think Hannah Gadsby was funny, So I was like, you'll do.

[Rabbi]

Yeah, I like that.

[Dom Irrera]

I like that. That's. That's a great test to make sure if it's a good nanny. As long as they think Hannah Gatsby's not funny. Okay, let's sing something. What do we got here?

[Redban]

You want to name a song or

[Dom Irrera]

a chord or a.

[Redban]

Anything.

[Dom Irrera]

Just say anything, really. You want to go acapella, and then they'll follow you.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Yeah, right.

[Redban]

Okay, let's do that.

[Dom Irrera]

You want me to sing the song for you? What.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

What about. Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, baby. You know that one?

[Dom Irrera]

Wow.

[Redban]

Look at that.

[Dom Irrera]

That's incredible.

[Redban]

I know that. Lovely.

[Dom Irrera]

You do?

[Redban]

I don't know it that well.

[Dom Irrera]

1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe Given that you don't know by now it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, baby babe. It'll never do somehow when the rooster crow at the break of dawn look at you when away and I'll be gone. You're the reason I'm a traveling on but don't think twice. It's all right.

[Redban]

So a little break in between the verses here.

[Rabbi]

Well, it ain't no use in calling out my name, boy like you never done before. Well, it ain't no use in calling out my name, boy I'm on the dark side of your door.

[Redban]

Unbelievable. So much fun. Vinnie, I love your style.

[Dom Irrera]

I love your energy.

[Redban]

Fantastic stuff. If you're in town Thursday, I would love to have you on the secret show. Boom. You're both.

[Rabbi]

Changed my flight.

[Redban]

Here's a big joke, though.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Amazing.

[Redban]

Oh, there you go. Michael caught it for you. It's good. The books, they spin the other direction when they're Australian.

[Hannah Gray]

Please.

[Redban]

How about one more time for the new. Great video, Laughlin.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Thank you so much.

[Redban]

Biddy. B I D D Y Follower Online Viddy o' Laughlin. B I D D Y O L O U G H. Adorable. What a fun performance. Oh, my goodness. How about a hand for the lovely Heidi, everybody? Just incredible. Gina with three A's. H.G. i do believe.

[Dom Irrera]

Right?

[Redban]

Gina with three A's, H.G. if you guys want to follow her on Social Media. It's very hard, but go ahead and try. All right, your next comedian, 60 seconds, uninterrupted. Goes by the name of Kent Hunter, everybody. Kent Hunter. Here we go. Anything can happen.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I was listening to this 2 Chain song the other day, and he said, pussy was so good, I missed my flight. And I'm not impressed. Because for those of you who don't know, 2 Chainz is a black pothead rapper. Pussy or not, he was never gonna make that fl. But what would impress me is my grandfather gets the flights three hours early. He looked at me and said, pussy was so good, I missed my flight. I'd be like, what? Tell me Gram Gram got that good shit. Are you serious? That joke's actually been doing really well recently. I thought about calling her up, letting her know, like, hey, your pussy's a crowd pleaser. My dad, he calls weed dope. That bothers me a little bit. Cause the only people who still say dope are old people talking about drugs and 12 year olds when they get a Minecraft T shirt for Christmas. So now I don't know if my dad's getting old or if my mom's a pedophile. Thank you, guys. I'm killing her.

[Redban]

Kent Hunter.

[Rich Boss]

There we go.

[Dom Irrera]

What an unbelievable performance. I mean, I have absolutely love that set. That was fantastic. Well paced, well executed. You've been on this show before, correct?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yes, sir. It's number four.

[Dom Irrera]

This is your fourth time on the show. You always look different.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I know.

[Dom Irrera]

Are you the shaky lady?

[Redban]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Very famous in the history of Kiltoni. It turns out he's always.

[Dom Irrera]

He always has a different disguise.

[Redban]

Tonight he's got a new mustache and a backwards hat.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Got the mullet today.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, okay. Everybody's getting their mullets on nowadays.

[Redban]

I love it.

[Dom Irrera]

This is incredible. We had a fat guy with a mullet on earlier. Very rare treat.

[Heidi]

Good rapper, though.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Hell of a rapper. Kent. Welcome back to the show.

[Redban]

I love that minute.

[Dom Irrera]

You. How. How long have you lived in Austin?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Year now.

[Dom Irrera]

How long you been doing standup?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Two years now.

[Dom Irrera]

Two years. Fantastic performance for a two year. And all of your sets have been good on the show, right, sir?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yeah, thankfully I try, you know.

[Dom Irrera]

Look at that little smile coming through. Such a tough guy.

[Rich Boss]

Rich Voss, like, are you sure that you can't wear a football helmet with a chin strap?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Why is that?

[Rich Boss]

Because you don't have a chin.

[Dom Irrera]

That is true. He does not have a chin. His neck goes up to his bottom lip. There's nothing this Is the second comedian who could not hang himself.

[Redban]

That's how they're building him nowadays. You know, so many comedians.

[Dom Irrera]

Comedians have hung themselves that they're now evolving to.

[Redban]

It's a thing that's happening trying to

[Dom Irrera]

prevent in real life as the. The comedians of the future cannot hang themselves. However, I think we can figure out

[Redban]

a way for Brian Licata to get some help. We're going to really tighten it up, figure it out.

[Dom Irrera]

Not you, though. No. Hanging yourself for you. So remind us, what do you do for work, Kent?

[Redban]

I work at HEB Heb American hero right here. Right when he couldn't possibly get any more likable, he worked at the absolute

[Dom Irrera]

staple of Texas, the greatest grocery store to ever exist. H E B. And what do you do at H E B?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I stock shelves.

[Redban]

You stock what?

[Dom Irrera]

What better job for you than stocking shelves? You have the height, you have the everything going for you. I noticed you famously had shaky legs. I'm not really seeing it tonight, are they? Oh, yep, there they are.

[Redban]

All right. Yeah. Little earthquake over there.

[Dom Irrera]

There it is. That's the noise. Michael's got the sound effects over there. When you hear that rattling cow, that

[Redban]

means we got shaky legs.

[Dom Irrera]

Look out. There they are, everybody. Is there any other time in your life where your legs shake from nervousness?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Whenever I'm really nervous or scared.

[Dom Irrera]

But it doesn't happen during your minute, does it?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

No, I'm comfortable with my minutes.

[Dom Irrera]

You're comfortable with your minutes. You're comfortable doing standup. It's this interview part that gets the best of you. What is the question that you're so afraid that I would ask?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I don't know. I'm just.

[Redban]

Michael, you keep an eye on it over there. I want to know because I can't see.

[Dom Irrera]

I got Eleanor and Rich leaning forward over here.

[Redban]

I need. I need to know. No, you're good. Go ahead, Mike.

[Dom Irrera]

I want Michael to let me know when.

[Rich Voss]

Oh.

[Redban]

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, I saw that one. Who? All right.

[Dom Irrera]

What are you afraid of me asking? What makes you so nervous during the interview part? You're a likable guy.

[Redban]

You're very nice.

[Dom Irrera]

You have HEB of hiv. You have everything going for you. What makes you nervous?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I'm just not that good with improv. Off the rip. So I'm just. I trust my minute. I know it's going to be funny. Where? I don't know if I'm going to be funny in the interview.

[Dom Irrera]

You're doing just fine, dude. After. Brian.

[Uncle Laser]

Thank you.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Thank you.

[Redban]

After we Had Brian Lakata up here. I don't know about you guys, but this guy's Richard Pryor in the interview portion of me right now. You're doing just fine, buddy.

[Dom Irrera]

Just relax a little bit. Look at those legs. One of the all time greats. The most veteran guest out of our history of guests. What do you think about this guy?

[Rich Voss]

Motherfucker. What do I think, man? I think he's got an attitude problem. Yeah, Me? Fuck you, man.

[Rabbi]

You want a piece of this?

[Redban]

Sorry I snapped on you.

[Dom Irrera]

It was perfect.

[Redban]

As long as you don't call him the N word, we're good. You are fantastic.

[Dom Irrera]

I love it. So what else is going on in your life, Kent? It's been a while since we've seen you.

[Kent Hunter]

It has.

[Dom Irrera]

You've been hooking up with a lady, you human vibrator you.

[Redban]

Yes,

[Dom Irrera]

you giving him the old fucking shaky third leg, huh? You ever get inside of girl and

[Redban]

just picture me asking you questions?

[Dom Irrera]

Hello.

[Redban]

Hi, Kent, it's me. And then she just, she loses her mind, right?

[Dom Irrera]

You turn on that shaky leg and

[Redban]

the bitches just go crazy. Eleanor's into this?

[Heidi]

Oh, boy. I would come in an instant.

[Dom Irrera]

Great.

[Heidi]

Do you get nervous during sex? Does that, that happen?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Completely honest? Yeah, I haven't had sex.

[Redban]

Wait, you're a virgin?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yeah, I am. Yeah.

[Redban]

No bucktail.

[Heidi]

You want to see if it works?

[Redban]

Yeah. Eleanor's ready to go. Eleanor's ready. We're going to take some of Cam Patterson's hair moisturizer, spray it down there and we're going to be ready to go. We're going to oil the little tin man she's got between her legs. That pussy's like, need oil.

[Rabbi]

It just squeaks a little. But then once you get in there and start fucking shaking, comes right open. Sorry.

[Redban]

I love Eleanor.

[Heidi]

Trust me, I know. I had this in me earlier.

[Rabbi]

Trust

[Redban]

in the back. Yeah. The can realized why it was called liquid death all along. It's like, oh, this is what true death is like.

[Rabbi]

I'm dying in here.

[Redban]

Luckily, there's enough space for me to breathe in here. Lot of black men in Philly.

[Dom Irrera]

So explain to us, how old are you, Kent?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

20.

[Dom Irrera]

20 years old now. Are you a religious guy? How do you maintain your virginity looking like this?

[Redban]

Apparently you're a good looking guy. I'm not buying into that. There's a lot of monsters that have

[Dom Irrera]

been on this stage that have gotten before.

[Redban]

But I want to know what's going on here.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I don't know, I'm just very, very awkward.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah. Tell us, what's the closest you've gotten? Have you gone down on a girl?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I have not.

[Dom Irrera]

Have you. Have you had a girl go down on you?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I have not.

[Dom Irrera]

You're into girls, though. You're positive about that? What kind of porn do you jerk off to?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Lesbian.

[Redban]

All right, all right. I like this guy. We're getting somewhere. Yeah. Hit that lesbian beat. Hell yeah.

[Rich Voss]

He lit up. He lit up, didn't he?

[Redban]

He really did. He really did. There's some lesbians in the audience. I. I beat a guy in rock paper scissors earlier.

[Dom Irrera]

They both threw scissors.

[Redban]

Every time.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, so you've never gone down on a girl? A girl's never gone down on you? Have you made out with a girl?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yes.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, When's the last time you made out with a girl?

[Hannah Gray]

Ah,

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

yeah, before I moved here.

[Dom Irrera]

It was before you moved here.

[Kent Hunter]

How long ago?

[Dom Irrera]

A year ago.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Really? You've never kissed a girl in Austin?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Oh, I actually I kissed a girl on your show the first time I got picked.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, okay.

[Redban]

Yes.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay.

[Rich Voss]

It was red band.

[Brian Licata]

Dom.

[Redban]

I rare in the house, throwing. Oh, my goodness.

[Dom Irrera]

I love it. Good to see you guys.

[Rich Voss]

Good to see you.

[Redban]

You're killing it, Dom. You're killing it. Yo, Dom. Available now if you like a well edited Zoom podcast.

[Rich Voss]

Look at me. Look at me. What do I care?

[Heidi]

Oh, boss and I have been on it.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, you've been on Dom's show?

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay. Absolutely.

[Hannah Gray]

Really?

[Dom Irrera]

You've been on it?

[Redban]

So you zoomed in?

[Rich Boss]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay.

[Redban]

You say it like you did something.

[Dom Irrera]

Feel like you took them 45 minutes

[Redban]

to have a phone call with Dom Herrera. Oh. Oh, it's the Disney oh, Dom show. We're here for another episode of Yo Dom.

[Dom Irrera]

Here we. I love it. Okay, so when's the last time you were on a date with a girl? I want to try to get you laid, Kent. I know.

[Redban]

Isn't that the right move?

[Rich Boss]

Get me laid.

[Redban]

No, no, that's impossible. We're gonna stick with Kent here.

[Dom Irrera]

So let me ask you this. What would you be your move? You go on a date with a girl, you have your own apartment?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

No.

[Dom Irrera]

You have a roommate?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yes.

[Dom Irrera]

Do you have multiple roommates?

[Redban]

I do.

[Dom Irrera]

How many roommates do you have?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Three.

[Redban]

Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

How many bedrooms in this place?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

It's a four bedroom house.

[Dom Irrera]

Four bedroom house. You have three roommates. So every bedroom is taken?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yes.

[Dom Irrera]

You have your own bathroom?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

No.

[Dom Irrera]

How many people share your exact bathroom?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Me and the guy across from me.

[Dom Irrera]

One other guy across from you. This is. This is a problem.

[Q Rose]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay.

[Redban]

Oh, J. What'd you say?

[Rich Voss]

Turning us on. I got a boner in.

[Redban]

I almost did a spit take there, John. That was close. I did not see that one coming. Is the fourth bedroom empty? Like, can you. Like, is that.

[Dom Irrera]

There's somebody in everyone?

[Redban]

Yeah. Red band's terrible at math. Four bedrooms, him and three roommates. Red band.

[Dom Irrera]

That's.

[Redban]

That's four. That's a total of four. Everybody thought it was three. No one needs your excuses.

[Dom Irrera]

So, Kent. What? Have you ever gotten a girl back to your place?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

No.

[Dom Irrera]

No, never.

[Redban]

Have you gone on a date since being in Austin?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yes.

[Dom Irrera]

What did you do on this date?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Ended up being really awkward. We were supposed to go to food trucks and then have, like, a picnic in the park with the food truck from the food truck.

[Dom Irrera]

Smart.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

And we got to the food truck place and she wasn't hungry,

[Redban]

so we

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

ended up just going to the park and it was. Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Did you think about taking her to perhaps anything else?

[Redban]

You just went and sat in a park?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Well, originally we were going to do mini golf.

[Redban]

Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

What happened to mini golf? She didn't want to do that.

[Rich Boss]

She had no arms.

[Redban]

She had very shaky arms. Yeah, I don't know.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

At first she was down for mini golf and then just changed her mind and wanted to do food instead. So she wanted to do food and then wasn't hungry?

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah, and then wasn't hungry. How long did you hang out in the park with this broad?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

About two hours.

[Dom Irrera]

About two hours. And you talked about what? Your life and stuff. So you're like. Like, what do you. Do you have siblings?

[Uncle Laser]

She.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

She has no clue about comedy and was trying to ask me comedy questions, which was quite annoying.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah, that's the worst.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

She was asking me, like, how to write a joke.

[Uncle Laser]

Oh, I know.

[Redban]

Jeez. I'm probably gonna pull her out of the bucket next. This is terrible. This is terrible.

[Heidi]

Did you go on a date with Brian Licata?

[Redban]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dom Irrera]

So how do you edit a video? So wait, you just hit the button that says record in the corner and then what? That's it.

[Redban]

Oh, I hate him so much. Oh, I just.

[Kent Hunter]

My.

[Dom Irrera]

My hatred boils over.

[Redban]

My loins boil.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Not you.

[Redban]

No, not you. Poor Kent up here. Old shaky legs like me. No, we're talking about a guy from earlier. There was always leg shaking. Oh, sorry, Ken. Sorry to scare you there, little buddy. I like you, Ken. I like you a lot.

[Dom Irrera]

The shelves are always stocked at hb.

[Redban]

I have no reason to hate you. You're the man. Everything's always pushed to the front, everything's always perfectly stocked. I mean, it's right there. You ever notice that somebody takes something off a shelf that his story just

[Dom Irrera]

runs right up with a replacement?

[Redban]

Okay, so are there any single ladies in the audience? Clap your hands together.

[Heidi]

Yeah.

[Redban]

Okay. Who was that? Who was that? Stand up and do it again. Stand up. Who did that? Stand up. Oh, shit. Okay, Ken, what do you think? You see that out there?

[Dom Irrera]

You can't see.

[Redban]

I don't think it matters, Ken. You see her now?

[Rabbi]

Oh, she's cute.

[Heidi]

Cute.

[Dom Irrera]

Did you sign up?

[Redban]

You did? What's your name? Hannah Gray. And you're single?

[Dom Irrera]

If you,

[Redban]

if I give you a minute, will you go on a date with Kent?

[Hannah Gray]

Yeah.

[Redban]

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, put that mic in the mic stand. Put the mic in the mic stand and stand backstage. I'm going to bring you back out here in a second. There goes Kent Hunter. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is how the magic happens. These two to right now. Look at this. The romance is in the air. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, doing 60 seconds, uninterrupted from the audience, a representative of your own. Make some noise for the Kill Tony debut of Hannah Gray.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Yeah.

[Rabbi]

What's up, Austin? Hell yeah.

[Hannah Gray]

So I'm divorced and retired for the same reason. The good old gay United States Navy. What's up? No, it's fun. It's fun being a white woman looking like this though because like, you know, I got a white woman up. My military experience, like, you know, I got that ptsdizzle.

[Mike Ryan]

What?

[Rabbi]

What?

[Hannah Gray]

You know, my only black friend told me, you know, it's okay as long as I don't add er to it. It, it's fine, it's fine. The other key one is I got kablamzoed in the sandbox. Sounds a lot cuter than an IED in Iraq. Guys, what's up? It's fine. No, the other one is like getting back out on the dating apps and shit like that. Fellas, don't know who the taught you how to slide into DMs, but hey, what's up 10 inches, question mark? Sounds more like a Subway ad. Maybe that's just me. The other one that's fun is like a lot of guys just peg me question mark and it's like I'm the last bitch you want going near your household. I don't know about it, but thank you.

[Redban]

Okay. Very likable, well executed minute. I love that.

[Dom Irrera]

Have you done stand up before?

[Hannah Gray]

Yeah, I do it in Colorado.

[Dom Irrera]

In Colorado. What part of Colorado?

[Hannah Gray]

Denver. Actually.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay. Yeah, my.

[Redban]

Absolutely.

[Hannah Gray]

My friend who did really good on the show said I could shout him out if I did. Okay. So, Brian Sullivan. What's up?

[Redban]

Okay. You really wanted to get that out of your system, Rich.

[Rich Boss]

Boss, this is great. Two people who have never been on a date are gonna meet tonight.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Hannah Gray]

Yeah.

[Redban]

And they're both a little bit shaky. You're a little nervous too. I hear it in your voice. Yeah. Eleanor Kerrigan.

[Hannah Gray]

This is.

[Heidi]

Is love on the spectrum.

[Rabbi]

This is.

[Redban]

Oh, wow. No doubt about it.

[Rabbi]

Good.

[Redban]

No doubt about it. I love your style. I actually.

[Dom Irrera]

Me and my entourage wear the same

[Redban]

jacket sometimes, and we go, you know, what the.

[Dom Irrera]

What the Was that?

[Heidi]

Tony's in the T. Bir.

[Dom Irrera]

It's incredible. I love your style. So what branch of the military were you in?

[Hannah Gray]

The Navy.

[Dom Irrera]

The Navy, Absolutely. What did you specialize in there?

[Hannah Gray]

Oh, hell yeah. I fixed airplanes.

[Heidi]

Nice.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay. Airplanes in the Navy.

[Hannah Gray]

It was like the Air Force, but not okay. Yeah, they told me I was too fat, so the Navy hit me on the way out, like, oh, my goodness,

[Redban]

let's go to boot camp. Look at that.

[Dom Irrera]

All right. Less gravy, more Navy. You know what I'm saying?

[Rabbi]

Exactly.

[Redban]

I love it.

[Dom Irrera]

I love it. So what do you do for work now?

[Hannah Gray]

I'm a software engineer.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, Absolutely. I see why you. There's some shaking. I could see why that would exist. What exactly do you do with software?

[Hannah Gray]

So I build apps. I'm actually building a comedy app.

[Dom Irrera]

Right. Is that a half skirt?

[Redban]

Half.

[Dom Irrera]

What is that?

[Redban]

What is that exactly.

[Hannah Gray]

I got it off, like, an Instagram store, and, you know, it was just.

[Dom Irrera]

Is that what you thought you were. Were buying? Not really.

[Hannah Gray]

It's kind of like a wish.com situation.

[Rich Boss]

Did you buy that from a gay gladiator?

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah, it looks like Cam Patterson's barber

[Redban]

took scissors to it or something like that.

[Dom Irrera]

This is amazing. What else are you into, Hannah? What do you do for fun?

[Hannah Gray]

I grow mushrooms, if we can't tell.

[Redban]

Hell yeah. All right.

[Dom Irrera]

You grow a lot of mushrooms?

[Hannah Gray]

Not a lot. I just started, but, like, they're pretty easy.

[Dom Irrera]

How often do you do mushrooms?

[Hannah Gray]

Pretty consistently, Honestly,

[Redban]

the note she just hit there.

[Hannah Gray]

Not every day.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, and so you're single right now and you're in Austin for a bit?

[Hannah Gray]

Yeah, for the week.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay. Let's bring Kent Hunter back up here.

[Redban]

Kent, here he comes. Oh. Oh, there he is. Kent, I got good news for you. I found a girl that's definitely hungry. This one is going to be. I got the bad news is she's not going to want to go to the park afterwards. Food trucks.

[Dom Irrera]

Only for this one. Then you take her straight back to your place. You rush her past your roommates.

[Redban]

Yep. Just hop and skip and a jump. And then you throw her right down that pipeline. You know what I'm saying?

[Dom Irrera]

Kent, how do you feel about this situation? Have you ever lost your virginity to a girl with PTSD on mushrooms?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

That I can't say that I have.

[Dom Irrera]

Well, she's gonna turn your software into hardware real quick.

[Redban]

I do believe. I think you have a chance here. Are you willing to go on a date with Hannah?

[Dom Irrera]

Hannah Gray?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Sure.

[Redban]

Okay. Doesn't seem excited about it. Let me ask you again. We'll edit that one out.

[Dom Irrera]

Ken, do you want to go on

[Redban]

a date with Hannah?

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yeah.

[Redban]

I love this. What night are you free this week, Kent? This guy, this picky, choosy.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

I think Thursday.

[Redban]

Thursday?

[Dom Irrera]

Is Thursday good for you.

[Hannah Gray]

Works for me.

[Dom Irrera]

Works for you.

[Redban]

All right, you know what? I'm going to set this up.

[Dom Irrera]

I'm going to get you guys. I'm going to get you guys. What's. What?

[Redban]

What? Yeah, I'm going to send them to the secret show. Yes.

[Rabbi]

Somebody said a room.

[Heidi]

I like that.

[Dom Irrera]

That might kind of work.

[Redban]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah, maybe they do. Yeah.

[Redban]

They go to dinner.

[Dom Irrera]

I'm going to take care of dinner. I'm not going to say where we'll keep it a secret location. But I'm going to get you guys reservations and I'll put. I'll put. What, 200 bucks?

[Redban]

Yep. There you go. Lesbian yelling out numbers. Jesus Christ almighty. I'll give 200 bucks to you guys.

[Dom Irrera]

Secret location.

[Redban]

You have dinner at 6:30 on Thursday

[Dom Irrera]

and then you guys do spots at the secret show. And then you fuck this shaky motherfuckers brains out.

[Redban]

Neil, sound like fun. Good. Kent, is that good? Ken's acting like I'm me too. Ing him right now. Look, this is gonna be good for you. The good news is you only have half a skirt to take off.

[Dom Irrera]

All right? It's gonna be easy breezy.

[Redban]

You bust a nut and then you're. You're one down. You're gonna have a whole new confidence after this. Okay, Ken, who's excited about this? Kent's gonna lose his virginity Thursday night. This is the craziest show on planet Earth. A lot of other shows, you win a briefcase of cash or something like that. We're gonna have two threes fuck on Thursday. It's gonna be incredible. There they go. Kent Hunter and Hannah Gray, A double date, free D box at the secret show. And then sex in a house with three roommates. Only on kill. Tony, did dreams like this come true? Oh, my God. Too much fun. Don, my ra.

[Rich Voss]

They seem a little like a kind of thing. They're, you know, kind of a.

[Redban]

Brian has his workout. He has a lot of work for on your show, doesn't he?

[Hannah Gray]

Yeah.

[Redban]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat for you. This guy, a polarizing figure in the history of the show. I absolutely love him. And Ops, I've always said off stage he's so funny that I believe that every time that I think I always said, I think he's gonna get better and better at stand up comedy.

[Dom Irrera]

The guy, the boy wonder, has been doing spots all over the country.

[Redban]

Mrs. No opportunity to hustle around, sell tickets and do long sets. Trying to get better. Here with a brand new minute, I present to you the return once again of Uncle Laser, everybody. Here he is, live in the flesh. Oh, here he is. Oh, my goodness. The lizard man himself. Uncle Laser, everyone.

[Uncle Laser]

Y' all like true love. Y' all ain't gonna like this. Was reading the STD pamphlet in the Planned Parenthood this morning, and I just learned that PH actually stands for Pussy Health. Now, ladies, when it's off, y' all ain't got like a little check engine light that says, hey, I should go to ebgo N. Cause this shit look contagious, right? I made love to a forklift driver the other day. I went down on her and it always smells the same. Why does bad pussy always smell like Chernobyl? This woman's pussy lips look like an iguana neck. Her clitoris was calloused over and hard like an octopus beak. Easy to find for once. My name's Uncle Legend.

[Cam Patterson]

Thank y'.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

All.

[Redban]

Okay, a minute.

[Dom Irrera]

Opportunities for laughter in there.

[Redban]

Great set, Uncle Laser.

[Dom Irrera]

How much of that is true? That's frightening.

[Redban]

The level of.

[Dom Irrera]

The level of woman that you're hanging out with in this world.

[Uncle Laser]

Well, for the joke purposes, I made her a forklift driver, but she's actually a nighttime ballerina.

[Redban]

Stripper.

[Uncle Laser]

Yeah, yeah,

[Dom Irrera]

Nighttime ballerina.

[Uncle Laser]

She's a nice young lady. Now, I don't know if know this, I thought UTI was a lady disease. I didn't know men could get that. And I'm currently walking around with that shit right now. And what had happened was, is she had a yeast infection. I said, well, that don't bother me none. You know, we'll be fine. Right?

[Dom Irrera]

Right. It's the Yeast of your worries.

[Uncle Laser]

Yeast of my worries. Yes. And now my. My kidneys feel like they're going to explode.

[Redban]

Oh, my God.

[Dom Irrera]

How long have you had this UTI for?

[Uncle Laser]

Think about them. Four weeks now.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah, that's what I was going to say, because I. Again, again, believe it or not, I

[Redban]

hang out with Uncle Laser sometimes.

[Dom Irrera]

And about three weeks ago, I remember you saying that you got a UTI and that your kidneys hurt.

[Uncle Laser]

Well, I tooken care of it later since that point, and. But I hadn't finished the antibiotics all the way. And then she had it, too. And we fought. We made like a super variant.

[Dom Irrera]

See, this is why. I mean, I just can't get enough. He's so entertaining and it's all real. Look how serious his face is right now.

[Redban]

No shaky leg to be found on this motherfucker. He's calm and confident.

[Uncle Laser]

I've been drinking cranberry juice and vodka nonstop.

[Rabbi]

I know, Brian, I know. But you like what? You like

[Redban]

the old Ric Flair. Yeah, cranberries and vodkas.

[Dom Irrera]

I know about that.

[Uncle Laser]

But then the craziest part is, like, three days after I said I'm getting taken care of, I go to Planned Parenthood stuff. But she went to jail like three days later. Like, like big girl jailer. They picked her ass up. She's still in jail.

[Dom Irrera]

She had a warrant.

[Uncle Laser]

I don't. She had a kangaroo. They can only believe she probably went to cartel in some fashion or form. Right? Got to be.

[Redban]

Hold on.

[Uncle Laser]

She had a baby kangaroo. She owned one. That's not. You can't buy that at petsmart.

[Dom Irrera]

Now, again, the interesting thing here, it

[Redban]

sounds like he's crazy and silly and

[Dom Irrera]

making stuff up, but I literally remember seeing in one of your many. You post a lot of Instagram stories.

[Redban]

You almost can almost always tell what

[Dom Irrera]

Laser's up to if you follow him on Instagram. And literally, I mean, I don't know,

[Redban]

even, even me, I don't even like, say, oh, my God, what is that? Like, I'm not surprised by anything anymore on this. In this guy's life.

[Dom Irrera]

And meanwhile, I did see a story, and I haven't even mentioned this to you, a kangaroo bouncing around in somebody's apartment, like, with, like, roommates, and seemed

[Redban]

like the last guy's place you were

[Dom Irrera]

at and it's wearing a diaper.

[Uncle Laser]

Well, you don't want to on carpet.

[Redban]

Okay, Understand just learning the indoor kangaroo game here.

[Uncle Laser]

No one really devised a way to potty train them just yet because they're not supposed to be inside. You're not supposed to be domesticated by any stretch of the imagination, you know.

[Dom Irrera]

And so you go to her place, she has a kangaroo and a diaper hopping around.

[Redban]

Do you pet it?

[Dom Irrera]

What do you do?

[Uncle Laser]

Like, that's neat, you know?

[Cam Patterson]

Like, what.

[Uncle Laser]

What the am I supposed to say there? You know? Like, I don't know if y' all know when that grow up. They're vicious. You can't keep them in the house. There's no way. Like, they'll beat up.

[Dom Irrera]

Did you see this kangaroo?

[Uncle Laser]

Yeah, it was a baby. It was cool. Smell like carrots or something. Like. Smell like a. Like a. I don't know the word I'm looking for, but it's a yeast infection.

[Rabbi]

Red band from the core pocket, baby. Yeah, yeah.

[Uncle Laser]

No, she, like, put, like, YSL perfume and on it, so it smelled like a woman. It was weird. That's expensive ad perfume. I don't know if you know that now.

[Heidi]

What's that?

[Uncle Laser]

YSL do what now? Hell, yeah.

[Redban]

Absolutely. No, I know Eleanor does not like this kind of guy.

[Heidi]

This is the complete opposite of Cam. I don't know what this is. It's hard to understand, too. But, I mean, I like it. I'm enjoying it. I love wrestling.

[Uncle Laser]

You single?

[Heidi]

I'm good.

[Redban]

Hell, yeah.

[Uncle Laser]

Shooter's gonna shoot, you know.

[Redban]

No, Cam. All crayon. That's what this guy is. So when are you getting this UTI checked out?

[Uncle Laser]

Well, I got the medication now. Oh, I got this morning.

[Redban]

Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

But.

[Uncle Laser]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

He's taking it yet?

[Uncle Laser]

Yeah, yeah, I took some today and I took, like, some painkillers.

[Holden DeShazo]

They didn't prescribe it.

[Uncle Laser]

I had some.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, that sounds about right.

[Uncle Laser]

Like, let me ask the ladies in here, like, a genuine question, like, so my mama is from the 80s, and she's different, all right? She Metallica, Alice Cooper. Okay, different times. She's a different type of woman. And she used to douche with vinegar. That's the thing. Like, I mean, that was a thing, right? And then I guess the Cosmopolitan come out and say your clean itself. It's not working. At least with ladies. I know, but then you get.

[Redban]

What is your question?

[Rich Boss]

Can you also use oil?

[Uncle Laser]

Yeah. So I don't even know where I was going with that, man.

[Brian Licata]

I just.

[Uncle Laser]

They can do the suppository now. You know, if you put a suppository in your vagina, it'll cure whatever you got. But if you put your mouth and eat it, it'll kill you. That's strange to me. If you eat a suppository, it'll kill you. If you put your vagina. Boom. You're brand new, you know what I'm saying? That pussy's the bomb, you know, like a boric acid.

[Rabbi]

Yeah, I think that's what it's called.

[Uncle Laser]

I might be fucking up the word,

[Heidi]

but there you go.

[Hannah Gray]

You're good.

[Uncle Laser]

You get them at farmers markets.

[Dom Irrera]

You just call everything.

[Redban]

You just call everything you don't know vinegar surpass.

[Uncle Laser]

Well, you can drink vinegar and it won't kill you. That's the point I'm trying to make.

[Dom Irrera]

Oh, okay.

[Redban]

Some wise, wise chewing tobacco wisdom from Uncle Laser.

[Uncle Laser]

He like oxymoron.

[Rich Boss]

How are you not a health teacher?

[Uncle Laser]

Oh, I'm a felon.

[Rich Boss]

You're a felon.

[Uncle Laser]

That's.

[Rich Boss]

What are the odds?

[Heidi]

It says it right on his throat.

[Redban]

Yeah, Laser, another fun minute, another fun interview. There he goes. We're gonna keep it moving now. All right, ladies and gentlemen. Pulled another name out of the bucket. You guys still hanging in there? Make some noise for your next comedian. 60 seconds for Austin Young, everybody. Austin Young. Here we go.

[Kent Hunter]

How's it going? I'm single. I need a lady in my life, and not for companionship or anything. I'm almost 30 years old, and I

[Redban]

don't own a bowl.

[Kent Hunter]

Single bowl, man. I've just been eating cereal out of containers that were designed to store ham. And I'll be honest, man, I was far too content with it. Like, I was ready. Ready to live the rest of my life like that until I had a lady over, and she's like, hey, where are your bowls? I'm like, I don't have any. And she's like, I want you to know this is a huge red flag. I'm like, ooh, Any other red flags I should know about? She's like, yeah, guys that don't have headboards. I'm like, bitch, you think I got headboard money? I ain't got bowls. Plus, you know how ridiculous a headboard would look on an air mattress. That's right. All right, thank you guys so much.

[Redban]

57 seconds from Austin Young. You've been on this show before. Welcome back.

[Kent Hunter]

Yes, sir. Third time.

[Dom Irrera]

I love it.

[Redban]

Welcome, welcome.

[Dom Irrera]

How did that feel for you?

[Kent Hunter]

Felt very good.

[Dom Irrera]

So what do you eat the cereal out of?

[Kent Hunter]

Out of hand bowls? Oscar Meyer bowls. You can reuse them.

[Redban]

Ham bowls?

[Brian Licata]

Yeah.

[Kent Hunter]

Handballs. Hillshire Farms. Those got some depth to it.

[Redban]

Oh, my God. I clean it like the pla.

[Kent Hunter]

Thin the plastic bowls. Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

You eat cereal out of. How many times do you refill those?

[Kent Hunter]

I mean, usually Till the box is gone, but.

[Redban]

Wow. Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

You're a very big boy, Austin.

[Kent Hunter]

I am a big boy.

[Dom Irrera]

I would expect you eating cereal out of, like, a bathtub or something like that. And here you are.

[Kent Hunter]

I might, man. That's a good ass idea, dude.

[Redban]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Just remember to plug the hole at the bottom.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Of course.

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah.

[Redban]

Rich Vox.

[Rich Boss]

Now what? What? Do you drink your meatloaf milkshakes out of the blender?

[Redban]

Great answer.

[Dom Irrera]

Absolutely you will. You are a master improviser of food. So you really don't have a headboard?

[Kent Hunter]

I don't know.

[Dom Irrera]

Do you really have an air mattress?

[Kent Hunter]

I mean, I used to, but, I mean, I'm doing pretty good. I got a mattress now. It's just a mattress on the floor, right?

[Redban]

It's just a deflated air mattress, Eleanor.

[Heidi]

That air mattress would squeak the way this squeaks without oil.

[Redban]

Oh, yeah. I can't even imagine what that air mattress went through with you on it.

[Dom Irrera]

So now you a real mattress, but no headboard.

[Kent Hunter]

No headboard.

[Dom Irrera]

How far are we from the headboard?

[Kent Hunter]

I mean, I could get one, but I just don't want to carry it up to my apartment. It's.

[Redban]

Holy. Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

You have a second story apartment?

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah, it's like two floors. I got to walk it up.

[Dom Irrera]

It's a real second story. Would be two floors. That is correct. Do you walk things up the stairs sometimes?

[Kent Hunter]

All the time, man.

[Redban]

But not a headboard.

[Kent Hunter]

Not a headboard.

[Dom Irrera]

Not for you.

[Kent Hunter]

Not.

[Dom Irrera]

You've made the decision.

[Kent Hunter]

I have. I'm. I'm contempt.

[Redban]

Okay,

[Rich Voss]

now I understand.

[Dom Irrera]

What do you do for work, Austin?

[Kent Hunter]

I'm a truck driver.

[Dom Irrera]

You're a truck driver?

[Kent Hunter]

Drive trucks.

[Dom Irrera]

You drive trucks?

[Redban]

That's right.

[Dom Irrera]

Truck driver drives truck.

[Redban]

And the second story has two sets of stairs.

[Dom Irrera]

We're learning a lot here.

[Q Rose]

Yeah.

[Redban]

All right.

[Dom Irrera]

What's your route lately?

[Kent Hunter]

Go down bit a little Laredo.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay.

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Can you tell us what you like to do? You stop off anywhere? Do you. You a buc ee's guy? What do you do?

[Kent Hunter]

Oh, they don't let trucks and Buc EE's. But I. I just dip all night and then just, like, listen to podcasts and whatnot. It's pretty cool.

[Redban]

Okay.

[Kent Hunter]

I scream to keep me awake. That's nice.

[Dom Irrera]

You really do that?

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah, I'll just scream.

[Dom Irrera]

Does that work?

[Kent Hunter]

Oh, it works.

[Dom Irrera]

Can you put the microphone down by your waist? Just show us what your actual scream in your truck sounds like. Don't do it into the mic.

[Rich Voss]

All right.

[Dom Irrera]

That's a good scream.

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Rich Boss]

That's what girls do when he walks in the room.

[Dom Irrera]

What is your love life like, Austin?

[Kent Hunter]

I'm doing all right. I actually. I hooked up with a lady in Dallas after that Adam Ray weekend, so that was cool.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, that's cool.

[Redban]

Shout out, Gabby.

[Kent Hunter]

Your pussy felt real good.

[Heidi]

Thank you.

[Redban]

Whoa. Shout out to Gabby.

[Kent Hunter]

She's actually a big fan of the show, too.

[Redban]

So she's a big fan of the show. Wow.

[Dom Irrera]

The felt real good.

[Redban]

Better than a normal or average.

[Kent Hunter]

I mean, better than the average bear. But this really felt nice.

[Redban]

And you went, no condom?

[Kent Hunter]

No, I. I mean, I was like, I have some. And I'm like, oh, forgot.

[Rich Voss]

Lost.

[Kent Hunter]

So

[Heidi]

he's got a sweet face. I'd let him get away with that.

[Rabbi]

I forgot. Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

My goodness gracious. Absolutely incredible. So how did this Gabby situation happen? She hung out with you after the show or something?

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah, she met me. I did a show in Fort Worth, like, the week before, and then she started to follow me and then. Then.

[Dom Irrera]

On Instagram.

[Kent Hunter]

Yes, on Instagram. So I just hit her up and saw she was in Dallas. I was like, hey, I'm going to be opening for Adam Ray, if you wanted to come. And then.

[Dom Irrera]

So put her on your guest list.

[Kent Hunter]

I sure did.

[Dom Irrera]

Look at you, you sweet, sweet boy.

[Redban]

Yeah. And next thing you know, you're in some good.

[Kent Hunter]

There's some great.

[Redban]

Wow. How long do you think you lasted with her?

[Dom Irrera]

You have a lot of stamina.

[Kent Hunter]

What's that? Oh, yeah, I got. My recovery is like a son of a.

[Redban]

So you, You. You go again.

[Kent Hunter]

Oh, yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

What type of recovery are we talking about here? The ladies are all very. Oh, that's a guy. They're all very interested.

[Kent Hunter]

It's all right. He's cute. No, it's like, it doesn't take long. It's just a couple minutes.

[Redban]

Couple minutes?

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Wow, look at you. Do you do anything special to get it hard again? You like, reverse scream or something?

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah. Just think how good that felt. I usually does it.

[Redban]

You just think about it again. Use your imagination.

[Kent Hunter]

Two minutes later, the quicker I get harder the, you know, I get to put it back in there.

[Redban]

That's actually a good point. This man states a lot of very obvious things. He's a truck driver. He drives trucks. Lives on the second story, two flights of stairs. You get your dick hard, the quicker you get to put it in again.

[Dom Irrera]

Absolutely unbelievable.

[Redban]

The man of many, many no own things.

[Heidi]

Very, very simplistic. Very simplistic. Keep it simple, buddy.

[Rich Boss]

Do you eat, too?

[Kent Hunter]

Oh, of course.

[Rich Boss]

Legs, neck and Torso.

[Kent Hunter]

Oh, that's right. I'll never miss a meal, dude.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay.

[Redban]

God damn right. God damn right. No one's gonna argue that. The proof is in the pudding. And you eat that too?

[Kent Hunter]

Of course. I love pudding.

[Redban]

You love pudding.

[Kent Hunter]

That's right.

[Dom Irrera]

No, I guy like you. Because, like, I'll eat a cup of pudding, right? And I'll be like, that's barely any pudding. Right. I was just getting started with this pudding. Now I'm done with it. You don't. It seems like a guy like me and you should not be eating the same. Do you eat more than one cup of pudding?

[Kent Hunter]

I might have to.

[Redban]

Look at that.

[Dom Irrera]

Look at that.

[Redban]

Absolutely.

[Kent Hunter]

That usually satisfies my pudding craze.

[Dom Irrera]

Have you ever binged a food in which even you're like, jesus, what have I done?

[Kent Hunter]

Oh, every time I go to Rapolo. Whole pizza.

[Dom Irrera]

Like, you have a whole pizza to yourself.

[Kent Hunter]

Not a whole pizza, but, like, I could get like half of it. I'm like, that was a lot.

[Q Rose]

That was.

[Redban]

Wow.

[Kent Hunter]

It's a big pie.

[Dom Irrera]

Wow.

[Kent Hunter]

Yeah.

[Dom Irrera]

Incredible. And when you're talking about a large or an extra large.

[Kent Hunter]

The extra large, of course.

[Redban]

Wow.

[Dom Irrera]

That's like the size of a headboard.

[Kent Hunter]

It is.

[Dom Irrera]

Have you ever thought about the headboard?

[Kent Hunter]

When it lasts in my apartment. Thank you.

[Cam Patterson]

Right?

[Redban]

Goddamn right. Okay, Austin, you've been on this show before.

[Dom Irrera]

Yes.

[Redban]

You have a big joke book. You did it again. Another good minute, another good interview.

[Casey Rocket]

Thank you.

[Kent Hunter]

I appreciate it.

[Brian Licata]

Thank you guys so much.

[Redban]

Yeah. Finally got a bucket full that's actually here. Four people left. I don't know how that happens.

[Dom Irrera]

What?

[Redban]

Oh, south by people. Oh, that'll do it. We are festival goers that signed up and then left. Very weird. But the good news is, is I finally got somebody that is here.

[Dom Irrera]

And he's a young legend of the show.

[Redban]

This guy did so good on his debut episode of the show that we

[Dom Irrera]

had him perform in a arena at the age of.

[Redban]

I think he's 16 or 17 or something crazy.

[Dom Irrera]

What is it?

[Redban]

17. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you a brand new minute from 17. 17 year old Holden DeShazo, everybody. Hell yeah.

[Brian Licata]

What's up?

[Redban]

How you guys doing?

[Rabbi]

All right.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Holden DeShazo]

It is true. I just turned 17. Just turned 17 in a year. You know, one more year. So I don't have to lie about my age on porn sites. I'm pretty excited about it. I did have a joke about abortion, but still in the early stages of development, so I'll leave it alone. You know, I've been starting to notice a lot of acne on my face. I know we've all gotten it, but I've been googling to see how to get rid of it. Turns out I have to quit doing something I'm not willing to give up. Have to quit jerking off. I don't want to stop, but I do it so much that one of my buddies told me, holden, you have to quit choking your chicken. I never heard this before, but I choked mine so much that I gave it a name. You guys want to hear the name?

[Redban]

Yeah.

[Holden DeShazo]

I named it George Floyd

[Brian Licata]

the Go.

[Rabbi]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold

[Redban]

on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Holden DeShazo]

The good news is that the cop that killed him is probably being forced to choke a lot of chickens these days himself. Maybe he's into it.

[Casey Rocket]

I don't know.

[Holden DeShazo]

But based on the given clues, I think it's safe to say that he's into erotic asphyxiation. All right, that's it. Thank you guys.

[Redban]

Okay. Wow. Hard to tag a good choking the chicken George Floyd joke.

[Dom Irrera]

It's hard to.

[Redban]

Hard to follow that it's true. I loved that joke, by the way. I don't think you need a tag on that.

[Dom Irrera]

Me and Rich Voss made five seconds

[Redban]

of eye contact after that. Going like that. That's a pretty good sign. Wow.

[Dom Irrera]

You choke the chicken so much that you call it George Floyd.

[Hannah Gray]

That is repeating it.

[Heidi]

Repeating it is so good.

[Dom Irrera]

Incredible.

[Rabbi]

Wow.

[Dom Irrera]

I mean a 17 year old can get away with that joke. That's the good news.

[Holden DeShazo]

Thank God Yalls phones are locked up. Damn.

[Dom Irrera]

Thank God.

[Holden DeShazo]

Why they're phones are locked up.

[Redban]

Oh yeah, absolutely.

[Dom Irrera]

Unfortunately this will be on YouTube in three weeks.

[Redban]

It's all right.

[Holden DeShazo]

Let's kill Tony. We can talk about it.

[Redban]

We can talk about it.

[Dom Irrera]

Absolutely. You took a shot.

[Redban]

You actually made.

[Dom Irrera]

Worked. The joke works. It is an anomaly.

[Redban]

It's.

[Dom Irrera]

It's a. It's a great joke. It is. I'm trying to think of tags that you could possibly say, but all of mine are basically sound like they're written by Dom Ayrera.

[Redban]

They all end in the nword. I'm just kidding. Dom, don't do it.

[Dom Irrera]

Dom, don't do it. Have you ever thought about saying that you inject your penis with fentanyl right before.

[Redban]

Okie dokie.

[Dom Irrera]

George Floyd was.

[Holden DeShazo]

Ah, okay, I see where he was. Yeah, yeah, he was a fentanyl fan.

[Redban]

Yeah, he was at a.

[Dom Irrera]

What's it called? A. An overdose amount of fentanyl at the time. What a crazy Coincidence that that would happen at the same moment. I mean, what are the odds? It's almost like a anomaly.

[Redban]

So, Holden, let's talk about it.

[Dom Irrera]

When you do jokes like that, do you think, I'm 17, I can get away with anything?

[Holden DeShazo]

I know people legally can't fuck me up over them, so.

[Dom Irrera]

That's true. And you also know that the only black guy on the stage that can see has to jump over a blind guy to be able to attack you.

[Heidi]

That's true.

[Dom Irrera]

That's true. And the blind guy is not going to be able to spot you.

[Redban]

He's going to swing right above your head. You're gonna duck out and under and

[Dom Irrera]

you're gonna be just fine. Has anyone ever been offended by a joke of yours? Like when you're out doing open mics and stuff or anything like that?

[Holden DeShazo]

I mean, they haven't voiced it, but I've gotten a lot of like. Well, with that joke, I've gotten a lot of like, ooh.

[Dom Irrera]

Right.

[Holden DeShazo]

Like just all across the board.

[Redban]

Right.

[Holden DeShazo]

Nobody's brave enough to be the one guy to laugh at it.

[Dom Irrera]

Right? Exactly.

[Heidi]

Maybe they're worried about your danger. A dick.

[Holden DeShazo]

Possibly.

[Rich Boss]

Do you have a headboard?

[Dom Irrera]

Do you have a headboard? That's a great question. You're 17 years old. Do you happen to have a bed that has a headboard?

[Holden DeShazo]

I do.

[Redban]

There you go. Look at that.

[Dom Irrera]

Absolutely. Mom's taking good care of you. There's Mrs. Desa right over there. Before.

[Redban]

Yeah. If you're under 21, you have to be accompanied by a parent Here.

[Rich Boss]

Y.

[Redban]

So I'm hot. Mom is standing right over.

[Heidi]

I'm like, afraid to make eye contact. I feel like Chris. Dalia. I'm just in a. Look down.

[Redban]

This is a reverse Dahlia.

[Dom Irrera]

A woman with a younger boy. Holden. What else has been going on in life? You're 17. Give us the ways of. What's it like being a 17 year old in Texas nowadays?

[Holden DeShazo]

A lot of man ladies. Ladies out there.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, a lot of those.

[Redban]

Okay.

[Dom Irrera]

A lot of those. There's one right here. Look at this.

[Holden DeShazo]

I spoke it into existence.

[Redban]

Yeah, it's.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah.

[Holden DeShazo]

In. Well, because before I was homeschooled, I went to a private or a public school and there were a lot of those running around.

[Dom Irrera]

There was a lot of man girls at the private school.

[Holden DeShazo]

Public school.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Yeah.

[Holden DeShazo]

Cuz I held a door open for one girl, so I thought.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah.

[Holden DeShazo]

And I and she.

[Casey Rocket]

They.

[Holden DeShazo]

Whatever.

[Dom Irrera]

Look at you as old. Correcting your pronouns.

[Redban]

I love it. This is what it's like being a Kid nowadays.

[Holden DeShazo]

She said thank you and I said, yes, ma'.

[Dom Irrera]

Am.

[Holden DeShazo]

My bad for being respectful. And she. She was like, it's sir. And I was like, no, it's not.

[Redban]

I love it. I love it.

[Dom Irrera]

Anything else crazy we should know about going on? Holden? What else?

[Holden DeShazo]

I got a girlfriend.

[Rabbi]

Whoa.

[Redban]

I love it. We do. I love it.

[Dom Irrera]

Where'd you meet this girl at?

[Holden DeShazo]

At homecoming last year.

[Dom Irrera]

Okay, that's absolutely adorable. So you took her to homecoming?

[Holden DeShazo]

Well, I didn't take her. I took another girl and met her there.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Okay.

[Redban]

Oh, look at you, balling out of control.

[Dom Irrera]

Literally. It seems like you are the most sexually active person other than Uncle Laser on tonight's lineup. Which is crazy cuz you're 17.

[Redban]

Yeah, we also had a guy that

[Dom Irrera]

is a virgin up earlier and I do believe he's in his 30s, so congratulations.

[Rich Voss]

Well done.

[Cam Patterson]

Thank you.

[Dom Irrera]

You are doing absolutely perfect.

[Redban]

Thank you.

[Holden DeShazo]

I met her there and then we started. We started talking and then kind of went away. And then she

[Redban]

ridiculously excited about you being in a straight relationship. He's famously homophobic. I don't know if you guys know this, but he literally celebrates a boy going on a date with a girl nowadays. This is what the world is come to. Praise Jesus.

[Dom Irrera]

God damn right. Holden, we love you. You're killing it.

[Redban]

You're 17. Nothing can stop you. There he goes, Holden, everybody. A little glimpse of the future right there. Come on, you guys can do better than that. Make some noise for holding, Deso. There we go. All right, we ready to put a ribbon on this thing or what? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Kill Tony hall of Famer. The record holder all time for appearances on the show. Minutes done and interviews done. He is known as the Baron of Biloxi. The Prince of Pint House Palace. The Duke of Abercorn. Not a lot of people know that he's the real Duke of Abercorn. The Memphis Strangler. The Vanilla Gorilla. This is indeed the Big Red Machine. The one and only.

[Rabbi]

Lights out William Montgomery, everybody.

[Redban]

Allahu akbar.

[Uncle Laser]

Aust.

[William Montgomery]

Probably a good thing that Alec Baldwin didn't get the role of Oppenheimer. We all know what he can do with a gun. Imagine a nuclear bomb. A mother was recently jailed after it was revealed that her five year old daughter was helping her do Brazilian waxes. The only thing I'm confused about is since when did cleaning floors become illegal? I'm still working on my rap career. I got a new line. It's call me Captain Hook because I just gave your bitch a rufio. That's all I got.

[Dom Irrera]

57 seconds from William Montgomery.

[Uncle Laser]

Yes, sir.

[Dom Irrera]

William, you look a little different.

[Redban]

Yeah, healthy.

[Rabbi]

What did.

[Dom Irrera]

Yeah.

[Redban]

You seem healthier.

[Dom Irrera]

You shaved your head.

[Redban]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

Been doing pilots or is it Pilates?

[Redban]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dom Irrera]

The legend has arrived. Kill Tony hall of famer, record holder for all time appearances on the show. This is.

[Redban]

Oh, wait a second.

[Rabbi]

Tony. Tony, hang on a minute. Who is this?

[Cam Patterson]

No kidding.

[William Montgomery]

It's my brother.

[Rabbi]

Wow.

[Redban]

Your brother? Oh, my goodness. The crowd goes wild. This is absolutely incredible.

[Rabbi]

Oh, my God.

[Redban]

A first in the history of Kill Tony.

[Dom Irrera]

This man been performing every Monday for over five years, constantly reinventing a wheel that has never even been created before. And yet here you are, pushing it to a brand new limit. The same exact height, the same exact color beard, the same exact color eyes,

[Redban]

the exact same voice.

[Dom Irrera]

There is a blatant.

[Redban]

You guys laugh the same. Your beards shake when you laugh.

[Dom Irrera]

It is absolutely incredible.

[Redban]

This is an anomaly unlike any anything

[Dom Irrera]

we've ever seen before.

[Redban]

We have an absolute Montgomery Mayhem happening right now. William, what is your brother's name?

[William Montgomery]

So here. Seldon.

[Redban]

I love it.

[Dom Irrera]

Absolutely. I couldn't even tell which one said that.

[Redban]

Wow.

[Dom Irrera]

William, how do you feel tonight? What's going on with you?

[William Montgomery]

I feel, honestly, a little weird. Seldon was wonderful. I feel wonderful about this. He just moved here. But Tony, I literally, I get here, first thing I hear is that Lance Armstrong is in the crowd tonight. I was a cyclist. I grew up letting Lance. And then my mom tells his ass when he's getting a drink back there that I had posters all over my wall of him. And it kind of. I feel like I lost street cred with Lance.

[Rabbi]

So that's.

[William Montgomery]

Honestly, again, it's so exciting and wonderful. Selden's here, but I feel like I blew my fucking shot. Did you really meeting Lance?

[Dom Irrera]

Did you get to meet him?

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, briefly. But I was like. I was starstruck and I was like, surprise.

[Redban]

Big fan.

[Dom Irrera]

I love it.

[Redban]

How about a hand for Austin's own Lance Armstrong? Everybody in the house tonight. Don't bother turning around. You can't see Emmy's in the dark, protected from you normal peasants, from you fucking non super athletes.

[Rabbi]

He used to beat the out of Jan Ulrich.

[Redban]

That's right. Goddamn motherfucking right.

[Rabbi]

Lance. I used to love him when he used to beat Yan every year.

[Redban]

God damn right. We love Lance Armstrong. He is. Austin is so wild. The light.

[Uncle Laser]

What's funny?

[Redban]

You what?

[Rabbi]

I'm trying to have fun with Lance Austral.

[Dom Irrera]

It is a crazy life we Have.

[Redban]

Lance Armstrong is now golf buddies with Tony Hinchcliffe, and the world will never be the same. I'm already getting us matching jackets so I can go around and roast people with Lance Armstrong flanking me on one side, Johnny Manziel on the Next, Gary Clark Jr. You name it.

[Dom Irrera]

We're doing a Austin movie, Mount Rushmore thing, and William's brother is also going to be part of my entourage now. This is very exciting. So, William, one thing I want to

[Redban]

talk about, because it is in the zeitgeist.

[Dom Irrera]

I cannot believe it. Round of applause. How many of you watch the UFC on Saturday night? How many of you in the co main event?

[Redban]

I mean, this is crazy.

[Dom Irrera]

I mean, I cannot believe it, because. Let me tell you guys a quick story. So Dustin Porier stuns the world in

[Redban]

the co main event, hits a Frenchman

[Dom Irrera]

that's a freak of nature, known literally

[Redban]

as the God of war in the side of the head, and stunningly knocks him out.

[Dom Irrera]

He was a tremendous underdog. Even though he's a legend, Future UFC hall of Famer Dustin Poirier knocks out this young buck that was totally supposed to beat him. He keeps going for this choke the whole time in the post interview, that only lasts 30 seconds. If, you know UFC, Rogan goes, what was your plan of action? Or whatever? And Dustin goes, my corner kept telling me to not do the.

[William Montgomery]

The guillotine.

[Rabbi]

He ain't ever going to stop doing.

[Redban]

They told me to stop doing the guillotine choke, but I ain't never going to stop doing the guillotine choke. And I literally. I remember because I walked away, I

[Dom Irrera]

was smoking a cigarette, but I had it playing on my Sonos sound system. State of the art Sonos sound system.

[Redban]

Thank you, Gel blaster.

[Dom Irrera]

Anyway, but I remember hearing that and thinking, that's crazy.

[Redban]

That sounds like a William Montgomery reference. But calm your ego, Tony, because I don't know.

[Dom Irrera]

Dustin Poirier is a fan. And Sugar Sean o', Malley, who's a huge fan of legend on the shows, in the main.

[Redban]

Main event.

[Dom Irrera]

There's no way Dustin Porier knows anything about Kil. Tony. And then he messages you.

[Rabbi]

No, I messaged him, Tony.

[Redban]

Oh, you messaged.

[Rabbi]

I messaged him, Yeah. I don't want him to beat my ass.

[William Montgomery]

Hold on. We have to be careful here.

[Redban]

No, yeah, but it.

[Dom Irrera]

But it. The point is, is you guys talked.

[Redban]

He's a big fan.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, he confirmed. So all the little pieces of shit on fucking Reddit.

[Rabbi]

Yeah, he was talking about my fucking ass, you idiot.

[Redban]

He literally said on Twitter earlier Today, this is all happening so fast.

[Dom Irrera]

Somebody goes, was. You're never going to stop. In reference to William Montgomery. And he literally said yes. He tweeted out yes. So to think that you're, you know, here you are every week at the end of the show and you, you are literally in the cosmos of entertainment. I mean, everybody's watching.

[William Montgomery]

Lance, are you hearing this?

[Rabbi]

Lance, you're getting all this, right,

[Holden DeShazo]

Bro?

[Redban]

If you get Lance Armstrong to drop, I ain't ever going to stop. At some point at when he beats people in a race, that would be absolutely incredible.

[Dom Irrera]

So how did you feel? Were you watching the fights when Dustin said that?

[William Montgomery]

I was watching it, but we didn't have the volume up, so I didn't hear it. My brother Vance in it.

[Redban]

So. Yeah, yeah.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Who.

[William Montgomery]

That was a fun little.

[Brian Licata]

Awesome.

[William Montgomery]

Who did that? That was kind of a fun.

[Redban]

Wow, wow,

[Kent Hunter]

wow.

[Redban]

God, you're an idiot.

[William Montgomery]

What'd you just say? God, I'm an idiot.

[Dom Irrera]

Idiot.

[Pauly Shore]

Okay.

[Kent Hunter (same as K)]

Holy.

[William Montgomery]

You bothered me the first time. You bothered me every time, every time.

[Rabbi]

Trying to get Lance or show on my top.

[Redban]

Uh oh. Pauly Shore is back, everybody. Yeah, Paulie, come on.

[Dom Irrera]

Paulie Shore, the mayor of the Comedy Store has full permission to interrupt Kill

[Redban]

Tony anytime he wants.

[Dom Irrera]

We have an agreement.

[Pauly Shore]

I just didn't know because I know you talked to me earlier. Hi, guys. What's going on? Hi. I know you saa. I was in the other room, just so you know. I was just in the little room, which is the little boy room. Give it up for the little boy room. Okay. No, but I was saying some really nice stuff about you is my point.

[Dom Irrera]

You what?

[Pauly Shore]

I was saying some beautiful things. I'm like next door, Tony Desant or Tony. You know what I mean? Tony's here.

[Redban]

So you told a smaller showroom that

[Dom Irrera]

there was a better show going on

[Redban]

in the other room.

[Pauly Shore]

The thing is. The thing is the soul is in the smaller showroom because that's where the shit's really developed. This is too big corporate for me now.

[Redban]

Paulie, you just came up this microphone when the curtain open, I'm like, this is amazing. Lance came down and to make a appearance and it's a double poly shore.

[Pauly Shore]

Sorry, I just did some drugs in the back.

[Brian Licata]

Sorry.

[Dom Irrera]

What kind of drugs?

[Pauly Shore]

With the razor guy. The razor guy's crazy. The laser. Laser.

[Redban]

Polly Short.

[Pauly Shore]

We like it. Stevie Wonder.

[Rabbi]

We're good, we're good.

[Rich Voss]

I like you. I like you.

[Pauly Shore]

Put some Vaseline. We're good, we're good.

[Dom Irrera]

I love it. Paulie, what do you Think about William and his brother here. Have you ever.

[Pauly Shore]

I saw his brother's beautiful. Do you ever see the movie Mississippi Burning? He looks like the grandchild of the dude from Mississippi Burning.

[William Montgomery]

Dude.

[Dom Irrera]

All right, we're gonna put a picture

[Redban]

of that up all over the podcast. That anybody in the world knows what you're talking about right now.

[Rabbi]

What I do now.

[Pauly Shore]

He said that it's a good movie.

[Redban]

That's what he just said.

[Pauly Shore]

In Mississippi style.

[Rabbi]

That's what he said.

[Redban]

I don't know what's going on right now. What kind of drugs did you do with Uncle Razor?

[Pauly Shore]

He had some herpes medication. He gave it to me. He told me to start it.

[Redban]

He told me from MTV to UTI real quick. This is incredible.

[Pauly Shore]

But he's a good guy. He wants me to hang out with him at his trailer park Deep somewhere far from here.

[Redban]

I'll be damn. What? Aby Dam?

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah, he's coming too.

[Redban]

Absolutely. D Madness. Huge Pauly Shore fan. He's watched all your movies. Much like how William watches the ufc. Watches with the volume down. Okay, how about I am for Paulie Shore, everybody. Paulie, you wanna. You wanna sing a song or something to take us out or something like that? Get us out of here, Dom. Irera has the hit podcast. Yo, Dom. How about a hand for Dom? I Myrera.

[Pauly Shore]

Why don't we go.

[Redban]

Eleanor's new special, no country for Old Women is out now on the YouTube Comedy Store. Name a song, Paulie. So they get stuck.

[Pauly Shore]

Good times roll Since Tony Hinchcliffe has created a monster here. And Austin, Texas, the good times Row.

[Redban]

Rich boss dot com. Get out of. Buy some merch. Buy a shirt@rich boss.com R I C

[Dom Irrera]

H V O West. Let the good times roll thank you.

[Redban]

Talk Space.

[Dom Irrera]

Squarespace.

[Redban]

Shout out to all the amazing people that are out here.

[Dom Irrera]

South by Southwest weekend is insane.

[Redban]

Shout out to the great Peter Shore. Paulie's brother is out there killing it.

[Pauly Shore]

Scott Shore. Scott.

[Redban]

Scotty's here.

[Dom Irrera]

The whole Shore family is here.

[Redban]

Mitzy is here in spirit always. This whole thing is completely a.

[Dom Irrera]

An absolute spin off of what she's created with the Comedy Store. The closest thing to a mother that I have in the world that isn't my actual mother. The great, late, great Mitzi Shore, everybody.

[Redban]

The drawing from Ryan J E Bell is in. The drawing from Chris Rogers is over there. Let's let the good times roll Play some music. Sing it, Polly.

[Rabbi]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Pauly Shore]

We gotta have that. We gotta have the. We gotta have the girl that was selling handing Out Drinks dance, too.

[Redban]

Heidi, get up here. Come on, Heidi. We're inside with the drinks. The stunning Heidi.

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah, there she goes. No, dance with him. Dance with him. Here we go. 2, 3, 4.

[Redban]

He's not dancing.

[Pauly Shore]

That's not the good times roll. That's like some weird Stop. Stop the cars. Good times roll, bro.

[Heidi]

Get up.

[Pauly Shore]

2, 3, 4.

[Redban]

You think the band doesn't know this song?

[Pauly Shore]

Let the good times. Let the good times.

[Rabbi]

What do you got?

[Redban]

Why?

[Rabbi]

What the are you throwing me under the bus for?

[Pauly Shore]

He's texting his friend.

[Redban]

Matt's texting D Madness right now. I don't know what's happening.

[Pauly Shore]

No, no, they don't know it.

[Redban]

They're a little bit younger than you.

[Dom Irrera]

Polly, you have a newer song.

[Pauly Shore]

Why don't we do Flowers by Miley Cyrus? Everyone likes that. The girls write flowers by Miley Cyrus. It sounds like this. Wait, cut, cut. It sounds like the same song you just played. You guys are trying to get rid of me. Dude, that's.

[Redban]

You started to let the good side

[Dom Irrera]

roll with the chorus. There's verses.

[Redban]

Do you know the verses?

[Pauly Shore]

The blind guy's friends got it.

[Cam Patterson]

What?

[Pauly Shore]

Let the stories be so let them show what they want,

[Redban]

people.

[Pauly Shore]

Let the stories be to let the show what you want.

[Redban]

There's people googling how they can get a refund in the audience sometimes.

[Pauly Shore]

That's it.

[Rabbi]

Where you going?

[Pauly Shore]

What the fuck? No, it is.

[Redban]

Where you going? Wait. Dom, everybody.

[Dom Irrera]

Dam.

[Rabbi]

Thank you guys for coming out.

[Redban]

The podcast. Even Odom every week. Paulie. Sing, you son of a. Oh, there goes Paulie Shore. Polly Shore, everybody. Eleanor's new special is out. Richboss.com Tickets for Madison Square Garden in the Forum. I think we just released a few more. They're out there. Very, very little time left. It's all happening, folks. Red Rose, Yellow Rose, Gel, Blaster, Talk Space, and Squarespace. Everybody. Have a good time tonight. Red Band.

[Rabbi]

Check out the Sunset strip Comedy Club, sunsetstripatx.com I love you guys.

[Redban]

We love you. Thank you. Good night, everybody.

[Rabbi]

Sam,

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in

[Heidi]

Austin, Texas, is now open.

[Bitty O'Laughlin]

Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to Sunset Strip stripatx.com for tickets.

[Rabbi]

Sa.