#675 - WILLIAM MONTGOMERY + NICK SWARDSON

Summary

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Kill Tony #675 — Featured Guests: William Montgomery & Nick Swardson (Brief Appearance)

Recorded: August 6, 2024 | Location: Comedy Mothership, Austin, Texas

Episode Overview

This episode of Kill Tony features a homecoming vibe as Hall of Famer and beloved regular William Montgomery headlines as the sole main guest, fresh off a controversial bomb at the Paris Olympics’ opening. The episode is packed with chaotic, irreverent, and often roast-heavy exchanges as a diverse slate of bucket comedians take the stage alongside colorful regulars and golden ticket favorites. Nick Swardson has only a promotional mention at the end; the comic energy is carried by William, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban, Gary Falcon, an appearance by Marcus King, and the famed house band.

Notable Themes & Personality Highlights

• William Montgomery’s Return and Paris Storyline: William anchors the episode, recounting his disastrous (fictional) performance at the Paris Olympics’ opening ceremony, his rave-induced state, and his inability to remove body paint.
• Comedic Chemistry: A lively, sometimes chaotic panel with Tony, Redban, William, and Gary Falcon driving recurring running jokes and callback roasts throughout the show.
• Support for Newer Comics: Tony repeatedly offers developmental notes, encouragement, and performance opportunities—spotlighting the show’s role as a proving ground for up-and-comers.
• Absurd, Racy Riffs: True to Kill Tony’s style, no comedic line is too risky; sexual gags, ethnic stereotypes, and dark humor abound.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. William Montgomery’s Big Weekend (05:59–08:02)

• Storytelling: William returns from Paris, revealing his failed "headlining" gig at the Olympics and subsequent personal debacle.
  • "I was just having fun. So it’s so nice to be here. I’m glad I was able to make it here tonight." — William (05:59)
• Absurd Imagery: He claims to be “raving again,” admits to “candy flipping” (mixing drugs), and jokes about being stuck with paint on his body.
  • "I think it’s called candy flipping. It’s 2CB and MDMA. I’m on some of that still…Can’t get the paint off my body." — William (07:33)

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2. Gary Falcon’s Second Ever Standup Set (10:00–11:46)

• Opening Act: Gary, a legendary character, delivers a raw, irreverent tight minute, riffing on topics from Oppenheimer to wild crowd work.
  • "Look at Tony. What a weird looking muppet. He looks like if Jim Henson were asked to build a faggot." — Gary Falcon (10:25)
• Panel Banter: Joking about cosplay, colloidal silver, and the shared absurdity of the Kill Tony universe.

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3. Drew Nickens: Regular’s Wild Energy (13:09–16:03)

• Set Themes: Stepdad energy, Red Bull fertility, and self-deprecating "special needs uncle" gags.
  • "Hanging out with women is great, but energy drinks are better. Because you can’t get a Red Bull pregnant." — Drew Nickens (13:09)
• Highlight: Drew talks about his first-ever 20-minute self-produced show, leading to a discussion of energy, pacing, and “wink[ing] out a lady in the crowd.”

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4. Bucket Comedians: Noteworthy Sets & Interviews

Ethan Kim (17:56–25:08)

• Premise: From North Carolina via New York, riffs on southern and Asian stereotypes, his supportive parents, and selling oral hygiene products.
  • "You need to buy a toothbrush. Yeah, it's even more yellow than my skin." — Tony, roasting Ethan (23:30)
• Notable Exchange: Tony and panel challenge him to sell both a toothbrush and a tampon on stage, leading to a wild stereotype-laden improv.

Corinne Aliyah (26:42–35:46)

• Set: Pro wrestling parody, edgy “Drizzy Drake” and conspiracy humor, followed with crowd riffs about being a fitness trainer and Cajun heritage.
  • "We have another one we've been doing called the Drizzy Drake. Yeah, that’s the one where he fucks kids and acts black." — Corinne (26:59)
• Showcase: Does a playful “Raging Cajun” workout bit, and reveals she’s trained in Muay Thai.

J.T. Abbott (36:27–45:19)

• Material: Breakup joke, ladders vs. rock climbers, and a punchy Delta-8 airline bit.
  • "If they wanted to get you really high, they should’ve named it Malaysian Flight 370, because then you just get so high you get lost." — J.T. Abbott (37:13)
• Interview: Lives on his sister's exotic animal ranch; describes “cunt” camels, lemurs, tortoises, and even does a tortoise sex noise impression.
  • "It's more like a—Ohhhh!" (43:23)

Jordan Brady (53:13–63:35)

• Jokes: Bisexuals, Quasimodo puns, and “big pineapple” conspiracy.
  • "My ex-girlfriend’s safe word was Quasimodo. At least I think it was. I don’t know, rings a bell." — Jordan (53:31)
• Panel Roasts: House hilariously roasts his “stupid” but lovable material; Jordan reveals he’s a dad and full-time musician.
• Mexican Drum Off Rematch: Michael Gonzalez retains title in a high-octane, crowd-voted drum battle.

Owen Galavan (65:38–76:57)

• Set: Clever N-word history switcheroo, Irish roots, and engineer/comedian life.
  • "At one point, only white people said the N word. Really did a 180 on that one." — Owen (65:41)
• Memorable Moment: Live call to ex-date Ava leads to Tony securing a new date for Owen, complete with $200 bonus and secret show invite.
  • "Someone’s going on a Daniel Date Lewis." — Tony (76:34)

Chinwei (87:55–100:06)

• Material: Witty ex-relationship reversals, COVID jokes, and self-deprecating family humor.
  • "My ex called me up—'you were the worst ex I’ve ever had…Because of you, I’m now into women.'" — Chinwei (87:56)
• Highlight: Therapist and previous guest Lori is called up for an impromptu, passionate “cougar” kiss, providing comic relief and audience engagement.

Jason Elrod (101:23–111:19)

• Joke: Remixes “the Stranger” gag, then pivots to revealing crunchy hippie lifestyle and home water birth.
  • "I delivered my son via water birth at home. We ran a hose from the shower to an inflatable tub…it was February and the water got cold." — Jason (103:23)
• Tony’s Guidance: Serious advice about sticking to personal, unique material over hacky premises.

Anthony Walton (113:00–121:28)

• Set: Mexican/Asian identity confusion, cruel nicknames, and growing up “Chino.”
  • "'Chino, Chino, Japones—comacaca no me des…which just means Chinese, Chinese, Japanese, eat shit, but don't give me any.'" — Anthony (113:09)
• Voice Comparison: Tony puts his “old white guy” vocal fry alongside aged show photographer Joe White for goofy cross-generational banter and a “dumbass Olympics” spelling bee.

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5. Regulars’ & Golden Ticket Winners’ Sets

Cam Patterson (46:09–52:49)

• Topic: Guided tours, Black/Latino representation in MLB, and a riff on the Louisville Slugger Museum’s underwhelming tour.
  • "If I go on a guided tour, I respect the tour as much as the tour guide respects the tour." — Cam (46:09)
• Panel Play: Digs into Kentucky’s “KFC Yum! Center” arena, racism in the South, and parents’ failed reunion.

Aaron Belial (78:01–85:56) — The Mute Comedian

• Update: Stem cell treatment for cerebral palsy offers dark, self-aware humor.
  • "Being black and disabled are oddly similar. Really just lost one disability and gained another." — Aaron (78:56)
• Roasts Tony & Redban: “Tony thinks stem cell injections is when a guy comes in his ass.” (80:21)
• Panel Support: Ongoing roasting and heartwarming banter.

Ari Matti (122:43–128:19) — The Estonian Assassin [Show Closer]

• Material: Dangers of walking near Lady Bird Lake, “fully heterosexual sprint,” and dating life as an immigrant.
  • "Aerodynamic, trauma-filled—might be closeted. You’re not gonna catch me with a skip." — Ari Matti (122:53)
• Panel Praise: William and Tony laugh over Ari’s ascent as an international comic.

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Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• "I was just thinking, I’m gonna be Dionysus. I’m gonna have some fucking fun out there…and here we are." — William Montgomery (07:15)
• "Could you fit it into a Red Bull?" — Gary Falcon, about Drew’s anatomy (15:54)
• "That shit kills in New York, huh?" — Tony to Ethan Kim (19:33)
• "I'm Cajastani." — Corinne Aliyah, on her half-Pakistani half-Cajun roots (28:49)
• "Eat me out. Oh shit. Okay, what kind of animals are there?" — Tony, riffing on the animal ranch (41:17)
• "Does she like to drink? No, actually she's sober from alcohol." — Tony & Corinne Aliyah, discussing her mom (35:04)
• "The city looked horrible. They had a basketball arena…KFC Yum Center." — Cam Patterson (49:07)
• "I love a girl that's fucking…I want a Drew Nickens with a pussy…She thinks stand up is magic." — Ari Matti (126:58)
• "You are a killer. Personally, I'm still gay. And I'm getting all the action. You look like you beat lesbian: the video game." — Tony to Lori (96:52)
• "The final, final boss…it is incredible" — Tony, about Lori
• "Never stop eating ass if given the opportunity…" — Tony, roasting Owen Galavan (72:07)
• "All the fucking brisket is making my ass bleed. What the fuck do you have against broccoli?" — Aaron Belial (83:00)

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Memorable Audience & Panel Interactions

• Live Dating “Fixes”: Tony orchestrates phone (and in-person) connections for bucket comedians, successfully securing new dates on air.
• Audience Involvement: Spontaneous “drum off” voting, audience volunteers (e.g., Lori for onstage kisses), and participatory roasting.
• Inclusive, Relentlessly Roasty Tone: Everyone from the panel, band, and audience—regardless of background or ability—becomes equal fodder for the signature Kill Tony roast machine.

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Show Structure & Running Gags

• Musical guests Marcus King (promoted, brief mentions)
• Frequent, off-the-wall callbacks: “candy flipping,” “big joke book” awards, Michael Gonzalez drum-off champion run, old white guy voice contest
• Tony’s pep talks on authentic material and creative persistence

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• William’s Olympic bomb recap: 05:59–08:02
• Gary Falcon’s opening: 10:00–11:46
• Drew Nickens’ “stepdad energy”: 13:09–16:03
• Ethan Kim’s “toothbrush sales pitch”: 23:30–24:35
• Corinne’s “Raging Cajun” workout parody: 30:07–31:55
• JT Abbott’s tortoise sex noise: 43:21–43:27
• Jordan Brady/Mexican Drum Off: 58:00–63:20
• Owen/Ava date call: 72:50–76:01
• Lori & Chinwei’s on-stage kiss: 94:02–97:25
• “Crunchy hippie” water birth (Jason Elrod): 103:23–104:57
• Tony/Anthony/Joe White “dumbass Olympics”: 113:00–121:28
• Ari Matti’s closer: 122:43–128:19

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Final Notes

• Nick Swardson: Not present live—episode closes with a plug for his special ("Make Joke from Face").
• Vibe: Classic, unruly Kill Tony—equal parts supportive, cuttingly harsh, and unexpectedly heartwarming.
• Full-circle “contest” energy: Sets regularly end with surprise gifts, secret show invites, or matchmaking.
• Panel: Tony, Redban, William, Gary Falcon, and regulars/team keeping energy high with running bits and riff-offs.

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For fans and comedians alike, this episode provides both riotous laughter and uniquely candid behind-the-comedy scenes, maintaining the show’s infamous, anything-goes spirit.

Transcript

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to the Death Squad podcast network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at Death Squad TV and now on Spotify and Apple podcasts. If you want to check out Tony Hinchcliffe's website, go to tonyhinchcliff.com everything Golden Pony, including his tour dates at tonyhinchcliff.Com if you want to check out the Sunset Strip or get some Death Squad merch, go to Death Squad TV and. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, y'. All, it is going down August 9th and 10th, our biggest shows ever. Kill Tony live from Madison Square Garden in beautiful New York City. There are still very few tickets available for the live shows in New York and if you can't make it to New York City, you can watch the livestream. All of your favorite cast and characters of the show is. It is going to be absolutely historical. We are holding absolutely nothing back. We are so pumped about this event and everything we've ever done up to this point. Feels like practice to us. All the other arenas, all the big shows, the development of all the characters, the growth of all the comedians. August 9th and 10th, it all comes to a head. KillTonyLive.com for the live stream and [e-mail] for the live shows. Sam. Hey, this is Red Rick coming to

[Red Band]

you live from the comedy mothership here

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

in Austin, Texas for a brand new

[Red Band]

episode of Kill Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Get up for Tony X. Who's ready for the best night of their lives, huh? You made it. You lucky made it. You're at the number one live podcast in the world, brought to you by DraftKings. Game time and talk space. This is Kill Tony. How about a hand for Red Band, ladies and gentlemen? And how about a hand for the best damn band in the land, huh? We got the full squad here tonight. Grooveline horns makes noise for Carlos Sosa, Fernando Castillo and Raul Vallejo. Michael Gonzalez, Nachos Belgrande. We are joined by the amazingly talented freak of nature, Marcus King tonight, ladies and gentlemen, who just brought shock and awe to the room. His new album mood swings, the hit single Delilah out now. Go listen to it. He's a fucking freak of nature. We also have the great, of course, John Dees watching over us and we have the great and powerful D Madness listening over us. A hell of a goddamn show as always in store. Before we get started, here's a little bit from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. The Sunset Strip Comedy Club In Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets. Are you guys ready to start tonight's show? You know, every single week when I book this thing, I always try to make sure that I'm dialed in with what's happening in the world. And sometimes we bring people in from within, from within our own family to be featured on this for the full show. This guy's coming off a very, very big weekend in his life. So just one guest tonight, but you know him, you know him well. Hall of fame member, the man who has the record for all time appearances on the show, the most interviews on the show. Some people call him the Virgin from Vermont. The Tijuana Tarantula. The Memphis Strangler. The Baltimore Bobby Bonilla. The Vanilla Gorill. This is indeed the big red machine. Make some noise for William Montgomery. Wow, Tony, I am so happy to be.

[William Montgomery]

No, I'm kidding. No, Tony, it's so nice to be here. I'm so excited I made it. I literally just got back from Paris, France about an hour ago. It was a real big opportunity for me. They were telling me I finally was going to be able to headline the fucking opening ceremony of the Olympics. Obviously, Tony, I was so excited. And then I fucking pretty much bombed. I don't know what fucking happened. Everybody's saying I'm making fun of Christian people, and that's not the case. I was just having fun. So it's so nice to be here. I'm glad I was able to make it here tonight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was amazing. We all saw you. You didn't tell anybody that you were going to do that. You kept it a secret from all of us. You wanted to surprise us. We would have given you some notes perhaps on how to handle it differently.

[William Montgomery]

Well, Tony, I thought I would finally go out on a limb on my own. I'm very sorry. I mean, that really Red band, I'm sure, would have had a bunch of really great ideas on it. So I really. I'm sure I should have asked Red band. I mean, his fucking ass would have made it hilarious probably. I mean, he's so funny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But.

[William Montgomery]

But yeah, no, I mean, I should have asked for your expertise. I really should have. Because I was just thinking, I'm going to be Dionysus. I'm going to have some fucking fun out there. And that's the best I knew how to do. And here we are.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So I guess my only question is, why are you. Why do you still look like that.

[William Montgomery]

God, Tony, I started raving again. I'm on something literally. I think it's called candy flipping. It's 2 CB and MDMA. I'm on some of that still. But yeah, no, Tony, I haven't been to sleep yet. I can't get the paint off of my body. It's literally. I don't know what I'm going to do. It sounds like a jet engine in my apartment and now I can't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm so excited about this. You're going to be on the entire episode. One more time for William Montgomery. Here we go. And so it begins. And you know, we've been rotating regulars lately. We have so many greats that we've been using to open the show in our new rotating opening format. And William, obviously, you know how the show works, but there's 259 people that signed up tonight for. For the opportunity to get 60 seconds on the stage. You know, their time is up and you hear the sound of a kitten. They have to wrap it up then, or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. And that's what happens. But for your first comedian, the bear is out of commission because this is a very special treat, ladies and gentlemen. You know, we have regulars, we have golden ticket winners. And then in the history of the show, 11 years, tens of thousands of bucket pools in the history of this show. And the man that is starting tonight's show, truly, I mean, it is unbelievable. Only got pulled once before. He's only done stand up comedy ever, one other time. Meanwhile, he is one of the most requested comedians, one of the most requested legends in the history of the show. He flew in for this. Ladies and gentlemen, his second time ever doing standup comedy. Starting tonight's show, I present to you the long awaited return of Gary Falcon.

[Gary Falcon]

What's up, Austin? How about William Montgomery right here? I've never wanted to suck off a smurf more in my life. All right, here we go. Let's see how this plays out. My name is Gary. That movie Oppenheimer bombed in Japan. Yep. Do you ever fart at the bar and then forget that you farted and you're like, who smells like semen? Look at Tony. What a weird looking muppet. He looks like if Jim Henson were asked to build a faggot. I want to go to a restaurant, crowded restaurant, and be like, oh, my God. On my phone, like, my wife's having a boy. And then everyone's like, hey. And they cheer and I'm like, oh, shit, my phone. Broke up. She's having an abortion. I like being at a bar and when a woman asks where the bathroom is, I point to my mouth. That's it for me. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gary, get over here. Join the show. Yeah. The long awaited return of Gary Falcon. Gary. There's the sound of the falcon. That is Gary.

[Gary Falcon]

Come and go. That's all you need to know. Or go and come right band, let's go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Couldn't be more excited to have you back, Gary. William.

[Gary Falcon]

Thank you, Tony. Thank you, William.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anything you want to say?

[William Montgomery]

Were you kidding about sucking off the smurf day? Was that a joke or.

[Gary Falcon]

I don't know. Was I?

[William Montgomery]

I don't know. We'll maybe figure it out by the end of the evening.

[Gary Falcon]

Yeah, cool. I'll fucking downplay a fucking avatar or cosplay an avatar. Sorry.

[William Montgomery]

It's fine. I'm actually going as. Honestly, I feel bad for lying to you people. I was in over in France but I'm actually the colloidal silver guy. I started, I tried make it as as the singing. Now I'm going back to colloidal silver so.

[Gary Falcon]

But love it. I'm on board.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, while we go wrangle the other the our first bucket pool of the night, why don't we get a quick minute from a legend of the show and a golden ticket winner. This is a brand new minute from Drew Nickens, ladies and gentlemen. Here we go. Here's Drew.

[Red Band]

Hanging out with women is great, but energy drinks are better. I mean, they keep me out of trouble because you can't get a red bull pregnant. I made up a pickup line. Can I make you a cowboys quarterback so I can make you choke when it matters? I have no game. My mom says I have stepdad energy. You know stepdad energy where you pay the phone bill but you're not allowed in the group chat. Stepdad energy where you dress like you wait at the mall massage chairs but all your family spending your goddamn money. Stepdad energy where you raise a kid, they become a pro athlete, then their father comes out in real life. I think I have more like special needs. Uncle energy. Hold the pedophilia.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fuck yeah. Drew Nickens. Hey.

[Red Band]

Oh my.

[Gary Falcon]

Oh my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's Gary Falcon. It is. It's Gary Falcon. You're very excited to see him.

[Red Band]

Yeah. I like that hat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Thank you, Logan Paulsey.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gary's got a mind of his own. I love it. Gary can get away with anything. I love it. That is great. Hell yeah. Drew, that was great. I love it. Can't get a Red Bull pregnant. Have you tried?

[Red Band]

No, my dick's too big.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Very good.

[Red Band]

I can't get it in the hole.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We got it. We knew what you meant. Yeah, we knew what you meant. Absolutely amazing, William Montgomery. Have you ever seen anything like this?

[William Montgomery]

I could have used your pizzazz. I could have used your fucking enthusiasm. Friday night in Paris. I mean, people are saying part of my problem was I wasn't being energetic enough. So I really could have used. I could learn a trick from your book. I mean, you were on it tonight. Are you serious that your dick. You couldn't fit it in a can because it's too big? Are you kidding?

[Red Band]

There's a small hole in the Red Bull can, and I'm not allowed around knives, so I can't, like, cut a hole in. Because maybe if I cut a hole in the full Red Bull can, I can fit it in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why aren't you allowed around knives? Okay. Yeah, I forgot. It's you. That's right. Absolutely. How could I forget?

[Gary Falcon]

Could he fit it into a Red Bull?

[Red Band]

Oh, yeah, maybe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Drew, you are a wild, wild boy. Anything else crazy going on in your life?

[Red Band]

I just did my first self produced show yesterday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Red Band]

Over in Plano.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah.

[Red Band]

I did 20 minutes for the first time. It was great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. You did a 20 minute set?

[Red Band]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What did you find that your challenges were during that?

[Red Band]

My challenges is I like to go really high energy and I don't like to stop.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Red Band]

So what I'm realizing is I have to take a break, reset, and then go again.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do, just sit silent for 30 seconds? No, no.

[Red Band]

About five seconds. Take a sip of water, you know, strategize, maybe wink out a lady in the crowd. You never know.

[Ethan Kim]

Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Do you ever sleep

[Red Band]

and like, for.

[Gary Falcon]

I feel like you sleeping is just like

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

that dream. Let's go dream.

[Gary Falcon]

It's gotta be so intense. That's a compliment, by the way.

[Red Band]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is.

[Gary Falcon]

I just want video of you sleeping.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

These are some of the best evaluations of Drew that I've ever heard since he's joined the show. Gary, you are spot on, not only as a comedian, but as a guest. Blessings, Drew. Thank you for getting the show started. There he goes. To the bucket we go. Ladies and gentlemen, this is where gets wild. This is where we meet people all at once. This one got ran around from the bar across the street. He's now here. Make some noise for your first bucket pool tonight. We're going to meet them all together this Is the debut, I do believe, of Ethan Kim, everybody. Ethan Kim. Here we go.

[Ethan Kim]

Hi, my name is Ethan. This is a first time do stand up comedy in America. I just come to Texas. Everything is just so big. The people, cars, I. I come all the way from North. North Carolina, bro. I'm from the south, man. Grew up in Charlotte, right? Yeah, I know. I have that Southern pride. Yeah. But not Korea, right? I live in New York now, but I moved from the south. And I think I'm the only person in New York who actually misses the south, right? Like, especially during election season, right? One thing I miss about the south are those political ads, right? Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right?

[Ethan Kim]

In North Carolina, we had these political satire ads that didn't even try to hide the racism. Like, we had this one guy named Bill Graham who was running for governor, right? And in his ad, he talks about how China is polluting our rivers, right? China is turning our beautiful American waters

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

in a goddamn miso soup.

[Ethan Kim]

You mean wonton soup, bro. They're turning our rivers to wonton soup, right? Like it's 2024, bro. If we're gonna be racist, let's at least be educated about it, right? Yeah. But no, I miss the South, I think especially during.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Go ahead. You can. Go ahead. I want to hear more. You miss the south and what?

[Ethan Kim]

I missed the south during the election season. I feel like it was too dead in New York when Trump got shot, right? Like, people have bigger things to do, right? Unless.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Ethan Kim]

Holy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dude, it's tough.

[Ethan Kim]

Holy shit, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a tough industry.

[Ethan Kim]

Keep that one in the north, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ethan Kim, ladies and gentlemen. Ethan Kim. That shit kills in New York, huh?

[Ethan Kim]

I wouldn't say kills. I would just say, like, slightly beats.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Ethan, how long you been doing stand up?

[Ethan Kim]

I've been doing stand up for about six months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Six months. I love it. You're by far one of the funniest female comedians we've had on this show. You are beautiful, beautiful girl. Red band is hard as a rock right now. As hard as a walk. W O K. I love it. So about six months. What made you. How old are you?

[Ethan Kim]

I'm 22.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Beautiful. That's amazing. You started at 22?

[Ethan Kim]

Start. Started at 21, yeah. 21, yeah.

[Corinne Aliyah]

Great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a. That's a great time to start. What made you want to do that?

[Ethan Kim]

I have, like, very supportive Asian parents.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Ethan Kim]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's.

[Owen Galavan]

I know.

[Cam Patterson]

Unbelievable.

[Ethan Kim]

It's actually unbelievable, dude. I see all the other Asian comedians in New York talk about how their parents are, like, disowning them for doing this, and I'm just like, oh, fuck. But no, I. I have really supportive parents, and they've always encouraged me to, like, pursue artistic stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, yeah, amazing.

[Ethan Kim]

I feel like I want to do something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. That's great. Six months in. Solid setups are a little long, you know, a little unrelatable. But, I mean, you're. You're going to get there. Six months. You're right on pace. You have. You have good stage presence.

[Ethan Kim]

Appreciate it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You seem like a cool guy.

[J.T. Abbott]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You seem like you caught all the Pokemon that there were to catch.

[Ethan Kim]

Every single one, dude. Every single one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

New York City's a booming city. Got to catch them all. You know what that noise means? You're a little wubber ducky. Can you do an impression of a wubber ducky?

[Ethan Kim]

Can I do an impression of. I don't know how to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's impossible.

[Ethan Kim]

How do you do that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was a trick question. You answered it perfectly correct. So you know a lot of Asian comedians in New York City?

[Ethan Kim]

There aren't a ton. I know the local ones. No one huge, though, yet. No one big.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, there's no one big over there. That's a good point. There's someone that we know, right? There's someone that we know that moved to New York. Who? That's actually his middle name. So, Ethan, how do you. How do you make a living? How do you pay your bills? Very supportive parents.

[Ethan Kim]

I actually have, like, a 9 to 5. I'm here for a work trip, and I quickly changed to come do this,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

so I love it.

[Ethan Kim]

I mean, this is my dream, but, yeah, I have a 9 to 5.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But what do you do for a 9 to 5?

[Ethan Kim]

I do sales. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What are you selling?

[Ethan Kim]

I sell toothbrushes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Ethan Kim]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of toothbrush?

[Ethan Kim]

I used to sell pads and tampons, but I didn't have the expertise, so I moved to toothbrushes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, yeah, a little of that, but, yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

William, a toothbrush is something you use on your teeth to clean them.

[J.T. Abbott]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

Well, I was just wondering when you were saying that. Where do you sell them? In the bathroom of a Panda Express or something?

[Ethan Kim]

I confuse them with chopsticks, bro.

[J.T. Abbott]

Okay.

[William Montgomery]

I'm kidding.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

No, thank you. I've been hearing people talk about toothbrushes, and I was wondering what they were.

[Gary Falcon]

Yeah, this is my dentist, Hackie Chan.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of toothbrushes are you selling? Are they normal toothbrushes?

[Ethan Kim]

Soy sauce flavored? I don't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, no, come on.

[Ethan Kim]

I didn't know. I sell Oral B. Oral B? Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oral B?

[Ethan Kim]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The electronic ones?

[Owen Galavan]

Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Dude, Tony likes Oral D.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I do. I love oral Bs. I really do. So they're electronic. Are they different than the competitors? How would you sell them? Sell me on a toothbrush. Let's get it. Let's get a spotlight on them. You sell me. Sell me your toothbrush. You need to buy a toothbrush. Yeah, it's even more yellow than my skin.

[Ethan Kim]

There is a very nice toothbrush.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's okay. Ethan, do it how you do it in real life. Sell me a real toothbrush.

[Ethan Kim]

If I, like, actually had to sell you a real toothbrush, I'm actually pretty lame because I don't actually do traditional sales. So I'm just like. And I hate that. I'm an account executive.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Sell me a tampon.

[Ethan Kim]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. There you go.

[Ethan Kim]

Okay. Well, I'd have to ask, what ethnicity do you identify as?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I identify as black.

[Ethan Kim]

Okay, well, then I would have. I would recommend a pad because ethnic women over index in using pads because people of color tend to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, hell, no.

[Ethan Kim]

No, they.

[Cam Patterson]

They.

[Ethan Kim]

They tend to have heavier flows.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you stereotyping me?

[Ethan Kim]

I'm gonna get fired.

[Cam Patterson]

Whip it through the glass.

[Ethan Kim]

This is my last.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I got a pad. I have a home. I have a place where I lay my head to rest. Why you be telling me I need a bath?

[Ethan Kim]

Please, just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

See, this is why my people don't even like your people. I' ma push you on a subway track.

[Ethan Kim]

Watashi was.

[Aaron Belial]

Stop.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Ethan, do you have a girlfriend?

[Ethan Kim]

I just broke up with my ex because she was just a sick person. Just very sick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

In what ways was she sick?

[Ethan Kim]

Leukemia.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go. Very good. See, you got it for 22. You got a little. There's a little something in there.

[Ethan Kim]

Putting all the effort in. Like, she's just staying there. I had to pull the plug.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, amazing. Pull the plug. Okay, tell us.

[Ethan Kim]

I don't have a girlfriend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, but did you break up with a girl?

[Ethan Kim]

No, I didn't have a girlfriend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You've never had a girlfriend?

[Ethan Kim]

I have had a girlfriend, but not recently.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What are you doing?

[Gary Falcon]

What sign was she? Cancer.

[Chinwei]

What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So when's the last time you had a girlfriend?

[Ethan Kim]

Well, I was. Gosh, I was, like, seeing this girl a couple months ago, but I graduated and she has another year left of school, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A couple months ago. How long have you been in Texas?

[Ethan Kim]

I've been in Texas for six hours.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Six hours? Yeah.

[Ethan Kim]

I'm literally here for work and I landed and had meetings and then just rushed over here. Just killed Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how long are you in town for?

[Ethan Kim]

I'm in town till Friday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

In town till Friday. I'd love to give you five minutes on the secret show Thursday.

[Ethan Kim]

Thank you so much, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a wild success. Wow. Thank you. You're six months in. Sign up again next time. Maybe it'll get bigger. There goes Ethan. Thank you so much. To start the show, ladies and gentlemen, Ethan Kim. We have many famous Kims. Hans Congdon. And now Ethan has joined the fray. Your next bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of. Oh, I know what that noise means. That must be Heidi's here. Everybody makes. Makes a noise for Heidi, everyone. Look at her. Isn't she just fantastic? Your next bucket pool goes by the name of Corin Aliyah, everybody. Here we go. Make some noise for Corinne, everybody.

[Lori]

Any of you guys here fans of pro wrestling? Make some noise. Yeah, it's not really. Fucking idiots. Thank you. Me and my boyfriend have been doing this new move in bed recently called the Vinnie Mac. Uh, yeah, it's where I sex traffic that ass and then shit all over his face. Thank you. It gets better. We have another one we've been doing called the Drizzy Drake. Yeah, that's the one where he fucks kids and acts black. Thank you. You guys like conspiracy theories? Clap your hands. All right, so you guys like Pizza Gate? The craziest thing about pedophiles is that they can't even win a race. Yeah. Because they always got to come in a little behind. People that think that pedophiles hurt kids the most have clearly never heard of a good old sandy hook. See you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Corinna. Leo. Welcome, welcome.

[Lori]

Hey, you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you been on this show before? Yeah, one other time.

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nice. I love it. How did this go compare to that time, you think?

[Lori]

I think this one was better.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Absolutely.

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have you been doing stand up?

[Lori]

A year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

One year. Where are you from?

[Lori]

Louisiana.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And how long have you been here in Austin?

[Lori]

A year and a half.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A year and a half. Okay. All right. Is it true? Do you and your boyfriend really do those moves in the bedroom?

[Lori]

Yeah. He's gay. He likes pro wrestling, so, yeah, I make fun of him all the time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes. Okay, very good. Does he think it's real? You said it wasn't real. Does he think it's real? That would be insane.

[Lori]

I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How you know. Okay. What ethnicity are you? Corinne? Aliya.

[Lori]

I'm Cajastani.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, so half Pakistani, half Cajun.

[Lori]

Yeah, like, my mom is Cajun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Gary Falcon]

When did you get fired from Lululemon?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a good question. When did you get fired from Lululemon? Now. The. Okay, Corinne. So a year and a half in Austin. One year doing stand up. What made you wait six months before you started?

[Lori]

I started because of my boyfriend, honestly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your boyfriend's a stand up comedian?

[Lori]

No, but he knows a lot of comics here and he's the reason, like, I started. We went to shows together and I was like, why not me? And I just started.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Yeah. Do you work hard at this?

[Lori]

Yeah, I try to go. To go up every chance I have and work on my stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When you say every chance you have, what does that mean?

[Lori]

So I have a full time job as well. Unlike that, I'm a trainer. I'm a fitness trainer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're a fitness trainer?

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Is there something you specialize in, in

[Lori]

particular in fitness group fitness? I own my. It's my own business, so I, like, run my own business. And then I try to make time for comedy, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, what's it called?

[Lori]

Raging Cajun Trainer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Raging Cajun Trainer?

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're like high energy or something when you're there. Or is it like this? You're like, hey, Remy, my workout come with diarrhea?

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What'd you say, Gary?

[Gary Falcon]

Does it come with diarrhea?

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

All right, squat.

[William Montgomery]

Squat harder.

[Corinne Aliyah]

This is region Cajun workout time, everybody. Oh, my goodness. All right, everybody, let's get in a circle and do some jumping jacks.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Red band Jesus. You're allowed one an episode. It's been 11 years.

[Gary Falcon]

More spice, more underwear.

[Corinne Aliyah]

Is everybody ready to their pants today or what? It's gonna be raging. It's gonna be Cajun. All right, so here's what we're gonna do. First, as you notice, there's a hot wing in front of each and every one of you. We're gonna eat the hot wing and then we're gonna do somersaults. Here we go. Ooh, this is an extra hot one. My goodness, we're really raging in here. And we're really caging in here.

[William Montgomery]

This is.

[Corinne Aliyah]

You got to admit, no false advertising here.

[William Montgomery]

You should probably just work at a Lululemon.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy.

[William Montgomery]

And also, what could I have done differently during my performance on Friday in Paris? What do you think? Did you watch? Did you see what I did?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you see what he did in Paris?

[William Montgomery]

Did you see.

[Lori]

No, I didn't watch it. I just watched. Everybody get angry all over the Internet?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

What'd you hear people saying?

[Lori]

Yeah, lots of things. They're angry at you.

[Corinne Aliyah]

They were really raging.

[Lori]

They're angry at you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Corrine. Amazing. So how does that go for you? You have fun training people?

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You notice a change in their body. What would you recommend red band do? Is the color green right now called olive? Tony, That's not what olive means. My mom says I should wear yellow shirts. It would be good on my skin color.

[Ethan Kim]

That's weird.

[William Montgomery]

Your mom likes me wearing red shirts, so it's kind of weird.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She can't afford.

[William Montgomery]

She prefers you in yellow and mean red.

[Gary Falcon]

That's fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Corinne, Aliyah, do you have any special skills or talents other than stand up comedy?

[Lori]

Yeah, I've been training Muay Thai for eight years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh. Will you put the mic in the mic stand and show us a little bit of your Muay Thai? Can we get some Muay Thai music over here? Shadow box a little bit. Pretend like someone's trying to steal your. Your purse or something. But he's in front of you. He's that way. Oh. Whoa. Good head movement. Great. Oh my goodness. Great. Okay, great. Great. Amazing.

[Corinne Aliyah]

Yeah. I'll beat the shit out of you, you try anything with me to beat the fucking shit out of you.

[Lori]

My mom is visiting me this weekend and I told her that's.

[Corinne Aliyah]

That's. That's crazy. My mom. My mom's visiting me this weekend.

[Lori]

I told her I would take her here to take her to her bar and get a. My mom's name is Mitzi.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow.

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's incredible.

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

See, you're not Jewish.

[Lori]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your mom's name's Mitzi and she's not Jewish. Are you sure she's not Jewish?

[Gary Falcon]

Your hairdresser is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Lori]

Thank you. I don't get

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the you.

[Corinne Aliyah]

Yeah, she runs a barbershop called Truish.

[Red Band]

Jewish.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, where's your mom at tonight?

[Lori]

She's staying at a hotel like down south.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Down south?

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

In Mexico?

[Lori]

No, thank you.

[Corinne Aliyah]

It was a cheap room. I didn't know what to do. She's staying down south. It's a four hour drive. I realized every hour

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can't even say, this is fun.

[Corinne Aliyah]

I saved so much money.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hoo hay. All right, how far south is it? Is.

[Lori]

Is she probably like 15 minutes from here south?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Does she like to drink?

[Lori]

No, actually she's sober from alcohol.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I was gonna invite you to invite her to Mitzi's tonight since her name's Mitzi. Since Mitzi. The great Mitzi.

[Lori]

I wanted her to get a photo with the sign in the bar.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah, that would have been cool, but it's not gonna happen now. If we brought your mom into that bar after this show, there's no chance she'd be able to stay sober. It's known as one of the places that breaks people. They l have to leave immediately. There's red neons, there's smoke in the air, and the vibe is absolutely ridiculous. It is a sober person's hell. She wouldn't stand an absolute chance. How long has she been sober for?

[Lori]

A year and a half.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. She wouldn't survive. There's no chance.

[Corinne Aliyah]

Oh, man. I took my mom to get a picture with this sign, and all of a sudden our lives are ruined.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But congratulations on getting pulled out of the bucket. You're very fun. You have great charisma. So likable. Check out Ragin Cajun. There she goes. Corinne. Aaliyah. Fun. We're having fun. This is good. All right, your next bucket poll, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of J.T. abbott. Here we go. J.T. abbott.

[J.T. Abbott]

Hell, yeah. How are we doing tonight? Good. Good. My girlfriend and I broke up recently.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's all good.

[J.T. Abbott]

You know, we didn't really see eye to eye all that much. She said tomato, I said cunt. What's up with rock climbers, huh? Get down from there. You know, We already invented ladders. I feel like that that war is over.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know,

[J.T. Abbott]

I started smoking Delta 8 recently. Dog shit weed. Dog shit. And I think it's dog shit because it's named after a dog shit airliner. Delta. You know, like, I feel like if they wanted to get you really high, they should have named it Malaysian Flight 370, because then you just get so high, you get lost, you know? All right, cool. Thank you so much. That's my time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Very good. J.T. abbott. My goodness, what a twist during that set.

[J.T. Abbott]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The broke up girlfriend tomato cunt made me think that you were gonna suck. And then all of a sudden, boom. What a surprise. It was like a misdirect because the get down from there was amazing.

[J.T. Abbott]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you followed it up, the momentum with the Delta.

[J.T. Abbott]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. How long you been doing standup?

[J.T. Abbott]

I'm on three years now.

[William Montgomery]

Great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where at? All of it here in Austin.

[J.T. Abbott]

I grew up in Plano, Texas, so. Dallas area.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I can tell.

[J.T. Abbott]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. No, I'm saying I can. I can literally tell now. We've been here long enough to. Where I can tell. When like comedians have kind of like been built around here. Around here, here in Dallas and Houston. It's just a different kind of three years.

[J.T. Abbott]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

If you spent the last three years starting in New York or la, it's kind of like one year here. I feel. What do I know? Everything anyway. But it's just, you know, times evolving and being a Texas comedian is a bit different than everywhere else. So are you based out of here now?

[J.T. Abbott]

I just moved here on Tuesday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, congratulations.

[J.T. Abbott]

Thank you, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. What's your living situation like?

[J.T. Abbott]

I currently live on an exotic animal ranch.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yes. I'm glad I asked what your living situation is. Tell us more about this exotic animal ranch that you're living on currently.

[J.T. Abbott]

It's not cool because this is cunt of a camel that won't get from behind my car anytime I want to leave.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[J.T. Abbott]

It is. It's cool. There's a. My sister owns an exotic animal ranch.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's amazing.

[J.T. Abbott]

And so I got to move down here and live on her property for free for a little bit. So shout out to her.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have to help out with like the normal stuff around the ranch. He wants to know if you have to pick up. You see Red band has a one track.

[J.T. Abbott]

You see any calluses on these hands at all? Yeah, no, they. They don't. Trust me. I don't feel like with that type of.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So now see, you didn't even notice that there's no calluses on his hands. It's the little things.

[J.T. Abbott]

Soft hands, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But the camel's a. Why do you call everybody a. Use a lot.

[J.T. Abbott]

Good word, I guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know. Your parents still together?

[Red Band]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Ethan Kim]

Oh, God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But your dad's still alive.

[J.T. Abbott]

He is, yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You communicate with him?

[J.T. Abbott]

I do, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does he refer to your mother as? Sometimes it's just a psychology moment of the show where I like to see if. Is there any words that he sometimes calls her and which might.

[J.T. Abbott]

Before or after the divorce?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's go with after.

[J.T. Abbott]

After. Nothing that like points out to me. He's happily remarried, so he doesn't really bring her up too often.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How about before, during the divorce?

[J.T. Abbott]

There were some choice words definitely that I think cunt may have been one of them for sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you heard that at what age

[J.T. Abbott]

they divorced when I was 15.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So very, very, very into your.

[Gary Falcon]

That's a very conti.

[Cam Patterson]

Age.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it is.

[J.T. Abbott]

Fuck yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It really is. What do you do for work?

[J.T. Abbott]

I am jobless at the moment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you save some money in Dallas?

[J.T. Abbott]

I Did. Yes, sir. Yeah, I did. I put money in my savings.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So jobless. But what do you. How do you plan on surviving?

[J.T. Abbott]

I mean, I'm currently living for free on my sister's property, like I said. And then, I don't know, just kind of see how the world takes me for a little bit and then what

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

kind of animals are on this exotic animal ranch I might be interested in attending? I love cunty camels.

[J.T. Abbott]

So we have.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I already got one foot in the

[Gary Falcon]

door, and you have camel toe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I do. I do have the toe of a camel between my legs. A lot of people often buff cunt

[Gary Falcon]

right in the middle of that fucking.

[Corinne Aliyah]

It's a real raging cage down there. Look out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's gonna.

[Corinne Aliyah]

That's. Is that a barbecue wing in my pants?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't think so. Who sharted? Eat me out. Oh, shit. Okay, what kind of animals are there?

[J.T. Abbott]

So we had the camel that is. I'm talking about is brand new. So we have two camels. They have two camels. I shouldn't say we. They have two camels. They have lemurs, zebra kangaroos, like African tortoises that are, like, fucking huge.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, wait, wait. So that are the African tortoises? Faster than the. Hair is anyone. Have you ever noticed your wallet is missing? And then you go to the. You go to the tortoise area.

[J.T. Abbott]

They.

[Gary Falcon]

They have huge dudes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It. They. They.

[J.T. Abbott]

They do. Often. It is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do they really?

[J.T. Abbott]

They do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They do.

[J.T. Abbott]

Yeah. They make really weird noises when they.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You heard the noises turtles make when they. And it's. It's louder. Sounds like a good subject for another podcast. That's amazing. I mean, maybe Red band has a point. Is there noises that African tortoises make when they're having. Hey, baby, get your ass over here. Hey, back that slow ass up for

[Cam Patterson]

a second here, baby.

[J.T. Abbott]

That's it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, I think I love you. Oh, man. I came inside of you. All right, see you later now. All right, that's. No one wants to hear tortoise noises. No, stop. Red band. Red band, stop playing tortoise sex noises. That's. It's so bad. All right, can you do an impression of the noises that they make?

[J.T. Abbott]

I can sure as hell try.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Yeah.

[J.T. Abbott]

It's more like a. Oh,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

wow. Wow. Very, very good. Amazing.

[J.T. Abbott]

Funny enough, that is actually what my mom. My dad used to call. My mom was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right, Right.

[J.T. Abbott]

Full circle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Absolutely. Red band. Still looking for tortoises. It's really the face they make is what's incredible. Oh. Oh, that's crazy. That is crazy. Those are the white turtles. Tortoises, though. Those aren't the hell. Yeah. Okay, so what. What else? African tortoises.

[J.T. Abbott]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Lemurs. Zebras. Zebra. The famous. Both black and white animal. What are they up to? Just one zebra.

[J.T. Abbott]

One zebra. It. The donkey.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So zebra. A donkey. That's how a red band's made. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Second.

[J.T. Abbott]

So now they have an animal called a zadonk.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you serious? Look up. A zadonk. That's unbelievable.

[Gary Falcon]

Well, now I'm hard.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is absolutely incredible. A zadon. What does it look like? Does it look more like a donkey or a zebra?

[J.T. Abbott]

It's like a donkey and then it has like one black stripe that kind of goes down its side.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, absolutely. Oh, huge. Look at that. They are adorable. Like long stockings on his legs. Yeah. He looks like a Z. Zebra all the way up to the chest and then it looks like a donkey. Look at that. Absolutely incredible old zebra pants. All right, what's the most interesting thing about your life before I let you go?

[J.T. Abbott]

Jt, I think the exotic animal ranch kind of.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[J.T. Abbott]

Takes the cake right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Yeah.

[J.T. Abbott]

Trying comedy in Austin, Texas.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jt, Feel free to come back again. Sign up again. Thank you. So we'll see you soon. J.T. abbott, ladies and gentlemen, leaving with a big joke, buck. Yep. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we got a little African tortoise of our own around here. He's one of the top young pricing comedians in the world. Fresh off of always sold out shows around the world. Very, very, very hard position he's in, writing and performing a new minute every week. Here's a brand new minute from the great Cam Patterson, everybody.

[Cam Patterson]

So when I go to new places, I like to go on, like, guided tours to, you know what I'm saying? Find out about where I'm at. But I have a rule about guided tours. If I go on a guided tour, I respect the tour as much as the tour guide respects the tour. Like, when I was in Green Bay, the tour guide respected the tour with utmost respect. He loved the Green Bay Packers. I felt like I was on the team when I was in Green Bay. These my people, I love them. I'm like, I fuck with you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

We on the same boat. Let's ride. I respected the tour with my utmost respect. I went to Louisville this weekend and I went to Louisville Sluggers Museum and Factory. And the tour guide was like, nigga, these the bats.

[Red Band]

You see them?

[Cam Patterson]

These the bats.

[Red Band]

Do what you want.

[Cam Patterson]

So I gave two fucks about that whole tour at all, right? So at one point during the tour, they had, like, these bats you could touch. And I would. I seen some colorful bats in the distance. So I said, mm. I went over to the colorful bats. I started swinging the bats, doing all crazy. Swinging the bats and shit like that, Knocking dust off my shoe. And then at one point, the tour caught up with me, right? And they were like, hey, now, these bats over here are the untouchable bats that we sell to MLB players. And I was like, oh, shit. Somebody tell Aaron Judge I'm sorry. Right? And how fucking that bad up. Now, the funnest part about the tour was, on the tour was a bunch of, like, high schoolers and shit that love baseball. Cause they want to go to MLB when they grow up and get older. And I believe in dreams. I'm a dream chaser myself. I told him. I said, all you niggas right here, All y', all, all nine of y'.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All.

[Cam Patterson]

I hope most of y' all make it to mlb. Then I walked away. Then I remembered, wait a minute. Any of you niggas Dominican? And they was like, no. I'm like, well, y' all are fucked, brother. Y' all not gonna make it. I'm sorry. Y' all not gonn it, gang. Y' all gonna be accountants or something like that? That's it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. 1 minute and 49 seconds.

[Owen Galavan]

Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Of new material from Cam Patterson.

[Cam Patterson]

We got a little shake it up. We figured it out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely.

[Jordan Brady]

It was fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. You did it again. Went to the Louisville schlugger factory.

[Cam Patterson]

Schlugger.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. That's a good trademark.

[Cam Patterson]

Making Ss SHS typo to say Schlutz, Schloggle, all that. You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Eat some spaghetti. Spaghetti. Oh, you call that spaghetti?

[Cam Patterson]

Spaghetti?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You don't call it spaghetti? Spaghetti. Oh, you're kind of saying spaghetti.

[Cam Patterson]

Spaghetti.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I hear it now.

[Cam Patterson]

Spaghetti. White lady. Oh, you got a nice dress on.

[J.T. Abbott]

Hell, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. They get it.

[Red Band]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Spaghetti. Yeah. Hell, yeah. Absolutely. So Louisville. Yeah. That's where you were?

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah. Pretty cool. It was decent.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

I ain't had no. I ain't had no real bad time. There was. The city looked terrible, but other than that, it was fun, you know what I'm saying? The city looked horrible. Yeah, the city looked horrible. They had a basketball arena there. And for the. Louisville. For the college.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, the basketball.

[Cam Patterson]

You know the name of the basketball arena?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No.

[Cam Patterson]

It's KFC Yum Center.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No way.

[Cam Patterson]

I swear to God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you eat It.

[Gary Falcon]

No, that's true.

[Cam Patterson]

I swear to God. Look it up right now. The name of the basketball center is KFC Yum Center. That's where they put all the niggas and the basketball team at the KFC Yum Center. That shit fucking crazy. What we gonna name the basketball stadium? Let's name it Kool Aid and Watermelon Arena. Stupid dog.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is really the KFC Yum center, and it's Yum with an exclamation point. You, sir, you keep pumping your fist about this. What? What's the reason behind you loving the K? Are you from there?

[Jason Elrod]

I used to deliver beer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Used to deliver beer to the KFC Yum Center.

[Cam Patterson]

Any home? Any. At the KFC Yum Center? Where are the. At the KFC Yum Center.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, leave it on the. Do

[Cam Patterson]

you ain't got no Hennessy? That at the KFC Yum center you talking about.

[Gary Falcon]

They passed on Newport Grape Soda.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. What a crazy name of an arena. Did you experience any racism there?

[Cam Patterson]

Nah, it seemed like a pretty regular place. It seemed. I mean, obviously it's Kentucky. That was racism. But that wasn't racist to me, right? Not to my face. They probably was saying it when I got off stage. That nigga pretty funny. You know what I'm saying? But not. Not to me. You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Amazing. Dad was there?

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah, dad came. My mama came, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, nice.

[Cam Patterson]

Mama came. Yeah, it was a great time. It was fun for the whole family. They hated each other the whole time, so. It was beautiful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Cam Patterson]

It was a good little. What's the name?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Mom and dad are together. They hate it.

[Cam Patterson]

My mama hates it. She hates it with her whole heart. Yep, she hate that nigga.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

My dad was stalking my mom the whole trip. Swear to God. We went out, we went to go get breakfast early in the morning, and we didn't tell my dad, and we leaving the hotel.

[Chinwei]

He was.

[Cam Patterson]

Where y' all going? And he was in the lobby for no reason. Oh, y' all trying to leave without me? I want to come eat breakfast, too. He was just there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He wanted breakfast.

[Cam Patterson]

No, he didn't. He want to stop my mama. I was like, what?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm saying, you still trying to get some from her?

[Cam Patterson]

Nah, I don't think so. Who knows?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think so. Are your mom and dad banging anybody? Do you know?

[Cam Patterson]

I hope not. My dad married. I hope my mama don't fuck nobody forever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you ever asked her if she does anything with anybody?

[Cam Patterson]

I will never, ever ask that crazy Question. I will tell you. That's fucking insane. Mama, who you fucking right now, Mama? You fucking anybody right now, Mother?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's not about who, but are you fucking anybody's? A good question.

[Cam Patterson]

I'm scared, man. I tell you this. My mama did a real good job of me growing up. She never brought nobody around me. Me, I know other guys and stuff, but it was. It was all. It was one guy she always brought around. And then when I got older, I realized it was two different guys. They just looked the same.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's how we all feel about you people. That happens to us all the time.

[Cam Patterson]

Can I tell you something, Tony?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

He was white.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Cam, you are the man. Another unbelievable set. Another unbelievable interview. I was so close to asking you to pull out your phone and ask your mom if she's anybody, but I'm gonna let you off the hook. We'll save that for another day.

[Cam Patterson]

Hell, yeah. Appreciate that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Cam Patterson, ladies and gentlemen. Back to the bucket we go. Ladies and gentlemen, your next comedian goes by the name of Jordan Brady. Here we go. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Jordan Brady. Here he is.

[Jordan Brady]

All right. Any bisexuals in the house? Yeah. You guys are always like, ladies and gentlemen, very selfish. Now, sex is very complicated. You know? What's that, a Catholic church joke? Okay.

[Jason Elrod]

Okay.

[Jordan Brady]

Yeah. Quick question, man. You think Quasimodo's safe word is, mmm, sanctuary? I have a hunch that it might be. My ex girlfriend's safe word was Quasimodo. At least I think it was. I don't know. Rings a bell. My buddy's growing a big pineapple in his backyard, and he was showing it to me, and without prompt, he was like, hey, man, did you hear? Apparently, pineapple makes your cum taste good. I was like, oh, yeah? Or is that just big pineapple in cahoots with big cum?

[Ethan Kim]

I said, of course.

[Jordan Brady]

I know all about that, man. He goes, for real? Girls tell you that? I said, what girls? That's my time, guys. Thank you very much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Jordan Brady. So I'll tell you, man, I've been paying a lot of attention everything tonight. This is a tough job. I have a lot of people, you know, they don't know the thankless job that I have here, but I have to pay attention to many things at once. Sometimes it's hard because I'm getting the next people ready and this and that. There's so many different variables going on all at once. But I will tell you, one of the things that I noticed is that both Gary Falcon and Blue William Montgomery laughed throughout your entire set. Thank you, guys. Yeah. The bad news is that without a doubt, they were laughing at how unbelievably stupid all of your jokes were. Shockingly dumb jokes. Yeah.

[Jordan Brady]

Yeah. I wrote him that way.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's fine.

[Red Band]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's. It's your brand, it seems.

[Gary Falcon]

I thought it was great. He also looks like a door guy at the Holocross.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you. It is incredible. William, you have something. Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

I thought you were great.

[Ethan Kim]

I love.

[William Montgomery]

Loved. Just the very beginning. What was it? It was something about bisexuals. And then you said, ladies and gentlemen. I think that really immediately got me because I was thinking to myself, what is that? What does that mean?

[J.T. Abbott]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But in the best of way. Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Because you're bold.

[Jordan Brady]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Oh, my. There were so many places you could have gone with that setup. It was incredible. When you said gentlemen, we were all like, what the fuck? You could have said, ladies and anybody. You could have said anybody. Any. Anybody and anybody. You could have done anything. Instead, you just said what everybody says.

[Jordan Brady]

Bisexual. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

My favorite thing is that you look like the bad guy from every 80s movie.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Like you're gonna take over the ski resort and people are getting fucking fired.

[Jordan Brady]

It's my summer, man. It's my summer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is incredible. You look like you've had some ups and Definitely downs. Definitely. Are you stricken with anything at all? Is this just normal? Is God sure. Has God hit you with any of the doctors diagnosed anything?

[Jordan Brady]

Just a very tired stoner.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Why are you so tired? What do you do in an average day?

[Jordan Brady]

I'm a. Well, I'm a dad. I have two kids.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you do?

[Jordan Brady]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My God. That is crazy.

[Jordan Brady]

I know. Feel bad for him. Sorry, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. That is incredible.

[Jordan Brady]

Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

So there's more of you?

[Jordan Brady]

Yeah, unfortunately. Slightly better versions. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. So there's blessing. It's crazy to think that there's two Zadonkeys out there running around somewhere. Little Zadonki.

[Owen Galavan]

Impressive.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're getting a little Zadonki in here. Okay. Jordan, what do you do for a living? How do you raise these two kids?

[Jordan Brady]

I'm a full time musician.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, really?

[Jordan Brady]

Yeah. I've been on the show before, actually. I played a drum solo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You played drums? You were a good drummer?

[Jordan Brady]

Pretty good, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

John Dee says you lost. I mean, I know he lost. Obviously he's here and I barely know him at all. Where he would have been the full time drummer if he won.

[Jordan Brady]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you come close, do you think, George?

[Jordan Brady]

I think I came pretty close. I don't Know what?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you. Do you really think you came close? I think it came pretty close thinking about it. Ever since then, I try not to,

[Jordan Brady]

you know, I say pretty busy, you know. It wasn't my best solo of my life, but. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you been practicing for a better solo?

[Jordan Brady]

I just practice all the time. Every day. All the time. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that's incredible. Michael practices it all the time, every day. I don't know. What do you guys think? Should we have a Mexican drum off in here? Michael, you've been called out for a rematch. How do you feel about this? You good? Let's go. He says, ladies and gentlemen, it's a Mexican drama.

[Jordan Brady]

Sorry, Michael.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is the first time we've ever had a rematch, ladies and gentlemen. So this is interesting. I guess the rules. Rules kind of stay the same, I guess. Doesn't really seem fair for a rematch if Michael won the first.

[Gary Falcon]

Going for handsome Frankenstein.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He is handsome Frankenstein, without a doubt. Look at that. A face only a. Not even a mother could love. It's incredible. So since this is a rematch and not the real one, I guess there should be a special stipulation, I bet a little time to think about it. So maybe if you win, you get to be the drummer one other time at some point. That would be great for you. Not for us, probably, but then again, we could make fun of your wacky face the whole time. I mean, it is incredible. There's so much we haven't touched. It's amazing. Your eyes are close together. Johnny Carson ice. Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Robert Downey syndrome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, you guys know how it works. Drum solo. And then Michael does a drum solo. The audience votes. Ladies and gentlemen, our first ever rematch of a Mexican drum off. This is Jordan Brady, ladies and gentlemen. A1. 1, 2, 3, 4. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yes. You've thought about it since then. You've thought about it ever since. Every minute of every day you've neglected your two children in lieu of practicing for the chance that this opportunity might arise yet again. And you hear those horns. That means trouble has arrived. The reigning, defending, all time, undefeated defender of his throne, ladies and gentlemen, this is Michael Gonzalez. Sam, it. Wow. Jesus Christ Almighty. The devil has arrived. El diablo la consuela, muchacho.

[Gary Falcon]

This drum circle turned into a cum circle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Good God.

[Gary Falcon]

That was amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is.

[Gary Falcon]

Oh, my God. It's amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ragin Cajun. Ladies and gentlemen, you decide. How many of you have Jordan Brady winning the Mexican drum off. Thank you very much. Thank you. How many of you have Michael Gonzalez winning. Another undisputed victory that will haunt this man. But both phenomenal. Oh, yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Phenomenal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely.

[Gary Falcon]

You can't do that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Gary Falcon]

You.

[William Montgomery]

No, I never. Don't come after me right now. You've been nice all night, dumbass. Shut the up. You've been nice all night. I didn't want to dress like this. Dumbass.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Shut the up Off. Shut the up.

[William Montgomery]

You've been nice all night, dumbass.

[Red Band]

Suck off.

[William Montgomery]

Shut up.

[Gary Falcon]

Suck off.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The winner of the mexican drum off, michael gonzalez. The winner. Jordan, put that mic stand back up there. Tell us, is there anything that you thought about since the last time you were on this show that you could have talked about in the interview portion that you didn't that hasn't come up yet tonight?

[Jordan Brady]

Something random. A guy died in my yard when I was eight outside my window.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my goodness gracious. Wow. I just died in New York tonight. Gary Falcon. Gary Falcon?

[Chinwei]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You hear that sound? That means the Falcon has arrived.

[J.T. Abbott]

So.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, Jordan, how did he die. How did he die in your yard tonight?

[Jordan Brady]

He mixed. He got really mad. His daughter got engaged, her boyfriend that he hated, so he took a bunch of drugs and got a big knife and started walking around the neighborhood.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was the guy that the daughter was. Oh, my goodness gracious. Oh. Oh, my goodness. Was he a certain type of person?

[Jordan Brady]

You know what? I'm gonna be honest, Tony. After all these years, never thought about it, but very likely, yeah, it was East Houston after all, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. When you saw that, when you saw that, when you saw that happen in your yard, is that what made your eyes permanently sad?

[Jordan Brady]

That's right. I never got over it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you get a joke book last time you were on?

[Jordan Brady]

I did. I got a big joke book last. Last time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, perfect. Your everything is right on pace. Sign up again. There he goes. Jordan Brady. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. It's a fun episode tonight. We're having fun. You guys having as much fun as I am? God damn it. I guess we're still number one. I mean, it seems like nothing can stop our undying trajectory. Ladies and gentlemen, your next comedian out of the bucket. This looks like a new name. Makes some noise for Owen Galavan. Here he comes. Owen Galavan.

[Owen Galavan]

Hey, everybody.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Guys, here's.

[Owen Galavan]

Here's something pretty crazy to think about. At one point, only white people said the N word. Really did a 180 on that one, you guys. The old switcheroo, as I like to call it. Do you guys think it was like a slow transition or like a hard, fast stop and a switch? I Like, to think it was Abraham Lincoln's decision. That's what I like to think. You know, he, like, signs the Emancipation Proclamation, walks into a room full of his boys. He's like, guys, I got good news and I got bad news. He's like, good news is we did it. We abolished slavery. Bad news, we can't say the N word anymore. Kind of had to use that one as like a peace offering, you know? And all his boys were pissed at him. They're like, dude, why the fuck would you make that deal? That's like our favorite fucking word. And he was like, guys, relax. What are they gonna do? Make it cool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you. A perfect set. A perfect set. Pushed it to a minute, 11 seconds. That's right before the bear comes knocking. Absolutely incredible. Oh, and now that you're up here, the name wasn't familiar, but your face is. You've been on this show before.

[Owen Galavan]

Yeah, two times.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. I remember. I remember a guy that looks like Tim Allen's grandfather.

[Red Band]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is incredible. You have a grown ass man's face.

[Owen Galavan]

Yeah. With a boy's body.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep, yep.

[Gary Falcon]

You look like the only guy to win To Catch a Predator.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gary Falcon. Gary Falcon. The crowd goes absolutely wild as Gary thrives again. It is amazing. So how do you explain your face? Did you perhaps work in the oil industry for a very long time?

[Owen Galavan]

Just alcoholism, I think, is the number one explanation for it.

[Gary Falcon]

You look like Magnum G A Y.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is you do. You look like Daniel Gay Lewis.

[Ethan Kim]

Yeah.

[Owen Galavan]

Last time. Last time you said Daniel Day Dinklage. Because I'm short, but I. I appreciate that you get. You keep saying Daniel Day Lewis. English is very funny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's so funny. I love it when people remind me of the unbelievably hilarious stuff that I've said. It is absolutely incredible. What's your ethnicity? Are you Daniel Day?

[Owen Galavan]

Jewish? Irish. My mom is from Ireland. I'm like, actually Irish.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Owen Galavan]

I had to spell my own name wrong on the list when I signed up. That's how Irish I am. It's spelled E O G H A N, but it's pronounced Owen. It's Gaelic. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Owen Galavan]

Emphasis on the gay. I feel like he's gonna say that. I might as well just.

[Gary Falcon]

You were great at the end of Philadelphia.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm accused of being a Gaelic all the time. Absolutely incredible. What do you do for work?

[Owen Galavan]

I'm an engineer by day.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. How about you? Have any kids?

[Owen Galavan]

No, thank God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You don't have a bastard in a basket? A bastard in a basket? No, kid, you're a bastard in a basket. Eat me oot. Eat me oot. I don't know. I love it. What kind of engineer are you?

[Owen Galavan]

Mechanical by degree, but I work as an industrial engineer right now. Which is just like process improvement on a manufacturing floor. It's pretty boring.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Easy stuff for a guy like you, it seems.

[Owen Galavan]

Yeah. You know, no big deal or anything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you keep in that front pocket? Is that a pile of air? That is incredible that it descends.

[Owen Galavan]

It was a zen and then they made me ditch it before I got here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They made you throw your zins away?

[Owen Galavan]

I mean, no, but I can't bring anything in my pockets. You know that you run the show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You guys really make them empty their pockets entirely. I think that's a great idea. That's brilliant. Absolutely.

[Gary Falcon]

Pocket like a Todd.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love this idea. I love that we make people empty their fucking pockets. Fuck them. Anything could be used as a weapon. And you know what? Good stuff. What else did you have in your pockets that you're missing dearly right now?

[Owen Galavan]

Phone, wallet, notebook, pen.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Very good.

[Owen Galavan]

Normal stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. Okay. Do you have any special skills or talents?

[Owen Galavan]

I can do it.

[J.T. Abbott]

Good.

[Owen Galavan]

Cricket noise. Pretty good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Get the out of here. How many? You want to hear him make a cricket noise? Let's go. This is kill Tony.

[Owen Galavan]

If I this up, I'm gonna feel like such a dumbass.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But wow, that is not bad.

[Gary Falcon]

That was pretty great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was great. Absolutely incredible. Even Red band is agreeing. And no one hears crickets more than him. Is our senior cricket correspondent. I call him Daniel Day Cricket. You always do call me that.

[Gary Falcon]

Tony. How many do you hear?

[Red Band]

Oh,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gypsy, I. I hear them coming out of my ass every night and coming into my ass. All right.

[William Montgomery]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Enough with the crickets. That's an amazing talent. How did you come up with that?

[Owen Galavan]

I honestly don't know. I just feel like I've been able to do it for as long as I can remember.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really.

[Owen Galavan]

Like I just one day did it in like middle school, I think. I. I honestly don't know.

[Gary Falcon]

Grew up in the woods.

[Owen Galavan]

Yes, I did.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Owen Galavan]

In the middle of the woods of Massachusetts. I grew up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ah, the old Massachusetts crickets guy.

[Gary Falcon]

Hey, keep it down, you fucking cunt.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely amazing. Any other special skills or talents? We start with the cricket N. Nothing.

[Owen Galavan]

Nothing else, I don't think.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right. What's your love life like? You seem like the kind of guy that would never stop eating ass if given the opportunity. It seems like they would have to stop you rather than you move on.

[Owen Galavan]

On to the next level, you know, it's not great. I mean, all I do is work and then. And then do comedy, so I don't have a lot of time.

[Ethan Kim]

But I went.

[Owen Galavan]

I recently went on like two dates with a girl.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was cool.

[Owen Galavan]

Ava, if you're watching, I'm sad that you don't want to go on a third date.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God, that is incredible. How long ago was the last date?

[Owen Galavan]

Like a month maybe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know. It's been a month, Something like that. You have her number? You want to give her a call right now?

[Red Band]

I'm not.

[Owen Galavan]

No, no, no.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Listen to this crowd. How do you not want to give her a call? Oh, Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. She's not.

[Owen Galavan]

She's not gonna answer this. If she does, we'll. We'll see.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think you might be surprised eyes. Here, have me call her. You hit. You hit send, put it on speaker. Give me the phone call.

[Red Band]

Stop.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Silence.

[Owen Galavan]

She's not even going to remember me. It's going to be embarrassing.

[Gary Falcon]

Voicemail.

[Lori]

Hello?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hi, Ava. I know this is going to sound crazy. This is Tony Hinchcliff, the host of the number one live podcast in the world, Kill Tony. And you're not gonna believe it. Shut up, guys. So you're here on a show. No big deal. I know it sounds crazy, but it's not. Everything's okay. Nothing I say is allowed to be sued or Joe Rogan Enterprises or any of the production companies associated with the show.

[Owen Galavan]

I'm sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. I'm here with Owen. Do you remember Owen, Ava? Yeah, I do. And let me just tell you. So do you know this show at all? Do you know anything about Kill Tony? It's okay if you don't. No, I don't. It's okay. That's fine. So he's in an interview portion of the show where I find out a little bit more about him. And I was asking him about his love life, and he said that he's just been on a couple dates with a girl that he really likes, but that it seems like she doesn't want to go on a date with him again. But let me tell you something. This guy just killed on stage. It's a sold out show. Millions. Guys, shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ. Everybody, as you can hear, it is a crazy, sold out show, Ava. And so you know, there's millions of people that are gonna see this. Your anonymity is completely protected. We just know you by your first name. Everything is fine. My question is, just for the sake of goodness gracious. Morality and the future of the universe. Is there a chance I can convince you to go on at least one more date with good old Owen Galibin here? Wow.

[Lori]

Okay, sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ava, you're an absolute legend. And. And I'm going. I'm going to donate. I'm gonna donate $200 to this event so that you guys can have a good time. Even though actually he's an engineer. I'm not gonna donate anything. You know what, Owen? I would love to have you on the secret show Thursday. Maybe you could take her on the date there.

[Owen Galavan]

Thank you so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you. Ava, you're a legend. And you get. You, you, you and a guest get to. You and the guy that you actually want to hang out with get to come to Kill Tony for one show. I'm going to put you on my guest list in the future. Thank you, Ava. Are we good? Okay, cool. Awesome. Ava. Go Google kil, Tony. You're going to love it. Have a great night. Thank you. There you go. Oh, you didn't think it was possible. Just takes a little pizzazz. You have to.

[Owen Galavan]

That went way better than I thought it was going.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Someone's going on a Daniel Date Lewis. Congratulations. My. Look at him. He's blushing. I am totally ch.

[Owen Galavan]

That made me way more nervous than the joke that was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You had a great set, great interview. You already have a big joke book.

[Owen Galavan]

I don't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, you only have small joke book.

[Owen Galavan]

I got one small one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, guess what, my friend. It only keeps getting better. There he goes. Owen Galavan, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very, very, very special treat for you. So keep that energy up as I bring to you one of the great, golden, golden ticket winners of our history. You know him from Kill Tony. You know him from America's Got Talent. He quit his day job today. He just got stem cell injections for the first time in his life a couple weeks ago. This is the return of Aaron Belial. All right, guys. All right. One more time for Aaron Belial. I see what's going on.

[Aaron Belial]

Hey, guys. I'm dressed as Justin Trudeau. Last time on Kill Tony. I was offered stem cells from a company called Ways Too. Well, as you can see, it's going fucking great. I used to look like the scrawny little pretzel boy. Now I'm perfect, and I can dunk. I'm looking forward to jerking off with my left hand for a change. I've wanted to be able to say something for a long time, and now I can. No, I'm not the Father. My. Being black and disabled are oddly similar. Really just lost one disability and gained another. I used to be an inspiration. Now I only inspire the police. People used to yell at me, asking to pet my dog. Now they yell, what up, dog?

[William Montgomery]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

An amazing.

[Aaron Belial]

Fooled. Yeah. I still run slow as.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Aaron, is that the end of your set? Yeah. Okay. All right. Aaron Belial. That was hilarious. That was great. Yeah. The stem cells take. Take up to 60 days to start taking an effect of any kind.

[Aaron Belial]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Huh? Oh.

[Gary Falcon]

Yep. Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Aaron Belial]

Tony thinks stem cell injections is. When I haven't actually gotten them quite yet. I had to reschedule.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, well, look at you, rescheduling on God's work. Amazing.

[Aaron Belial]

Tony thinks stem cell injections is when a guy comes in his ass.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There it is. There it is, There it is.

[Aaron Belial]

Redban is the only guy I know who thinks, I can't believe it's not butter is stem cells.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jesus Christ. This fucking guy's roasting us. Can you believe that? All we do is help him. All we've ever done is been nice. We give you every opportunity, Put you up in arenas and shit, and then here you come. I guess my ass is filled with cum. Okay. He just nods along to that. Very good. Amazing. Oh, you're laughing. Oh, you have ability to use your voice box to laugh. All of a sudden. He's faking it.

[Aaron Belial]

I call it like I see it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, well. Amazing. I love it. What else is going on? Aaron Belial.

[Aaron Belial]

I was sitting at my desk with my regular paychecks and free healthcare thinking, how can I make my life worse? The closest thing I have. I was sitting at my desk.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's right. You make fun of me. I. With your Bluetooth. I have that kind of power Here. Here. Are you getting a phone call right now? What is happening? Oh, I don't get. I don't think I warned Gary. This is Aaron Belial. He has cerebral palsy that affected his voice box, so he can't speak. This is Gary Falcon.

[Gary Falcon]

Hi. How are you? Are you Stephen Cockish?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep.

[Gary Falcon]

I said it.

[Aaron Belial]

I'm good. How are you?

[Gary Falcon]

I'm good. I love you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, oh, here it comes.

[Aaron Belial]

I like you too.

[Gary Falcon]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is absolutely adorable. You know what? I'm gonna give you guys $200 to go on a date.

[Aaron Belial]

See? I'm nice.

[Gary Falcon]

Look at Tony over there. Yeah, he looks like the center square on the AIDS qu.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Aaron, what else is going on?

[Aaron Belial]

Texas is a hard lifestyle. I can't shoot a gun. I can't paddle Board. All this fucking brisket is making my ass bleed. What the fuck do you fucking people have against fucking broccoli?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Broccoli?

[Aaron Belial]

What the fuck do you people have against broccoli?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is going on tonight with you? Got a wild thumb over there.

[Aaron Belial]

And why is it so goddamn hot? It's 110 degrees and I can barely walk without everything below the waist glued together.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's true. That's true.

[Aaron Belial]

I think pants ought to be illegal instead of. Of abortions.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's absolutely true. I agree with everything that you're saying. I know you're giving yourself one thumb down, but I'm giving it two thumbs up.

[Aaron Belial]

I was walking up 6th street the other day and my laces came undone and I can't tie. So I asked a security guard to help me with and he said his word's not mine. Sorry, I'm not a faggot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. I would have tied it for you and then sucked your fucking cock. Okay, shut up. We're friends. I wouldn't suck his cock. I'd fuck him in the ass. All right, what else? Aaron?

[Aaron Belial]

Yes, you would.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes, you would. You don't get to decide when it sounds like a question, do you? Oh, that's you. Oh, very good. That's you, Red Band.

[Gary Falcon]

Jesus.

[Aaron Belial]

The Olympics is to normal people like normal people are to disabled people. You are impressed to see people pole vaulting? I'm impressed to see the fat people at Walmart reach the top shelf.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is with a Walmart Olympus. Aaron, we love you. Anything else? Oh, shit. All right. It's gonna hit all the buttons at once. This is like when they do a fireworks thing and they accidentally light all the fireworks. You know what I mean? What the fuck do you have against fucking broccoli? What the fuck? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Do you have broccoli? What the fuck do you have against broccoli?

[Gary Falcon]

Happy birthday.

[Ethan Kim]

Anything else?

[Aaron Belial]

My best line. Okay, I just announced the huge tour for the rest of 2024. I'm doing some dates with Martin Phillips and Heath Cordes, too. Check it out. Mutecomedian.com I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Mute comedian.com Aaron Belial, Martin Phillips and Heath Cordage joining forces, which is incredible because together they're one.

[Gary Falcon]

Hey, Tony, I've got to go to the bathroom. I gotta leave.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Is that okay?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Go to the bathroom, come back. Yeah. And then you're gonna come back.

[Gary Falcon]

I have to go adult body.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Go potty. Adult potty. Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

I have to make it number two.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's okay.

[Gary Falcon]

Might be three.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It Might be.

[Gary Falcon]

Might be a three.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, what's the number? Three. Three.

[Gary Falcon]

Splattergories.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Spidergories.

[Gary Falcon]

Splattergories. Maybe. Yeah. I have to go adult potty.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Gary Falcon]

All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You want us to pray for me? Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Yeah.

[Jordan Brady]

Ab.

[Gary Falcon]

Pray for me. My potty.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is how we party.

[Gary Falcon]

Like what, three stairwells?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, we're going to have someone take you directly to the VIP restroom. Directly? Yeah.

[Gary Falcon]

Erectly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Erectly. Yes, we're gonna have someone take you right there. Gary Falcon. Gary Falcon. Gary Falcon. Gary Falcon. We love Gary Falcon. Gary Falcon. We love Gary Falcon. Gary Falcon. We love Gary Falcon. Gary Falcon. These guys are running out of energy over here. I thought. I thought I wrote a good song there. I guess not. You guys still with us? All right, we're gonna keep it moving along here while Gary goes pot. Pots. And ladies and gentlemen, I pull the name out of the bucket. Here we go. Make some noise. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Chinwei. Chin way. Oh, my goodness. Chinway.

[Chinwei]

What up, y'?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All?

[Chinwei]

I got some jokes. My ex called me up the other day, tells me you were the worst ex I've ever had in my life. Because of you, I am now into woman. Hangs up now that hurts. Because honestly, I thought that he wasn't half bad. Do y' all remember the beginning of COVID A lot of people, they didn't believe it. They were skeptical. Not me. I had it right off the bat.

[Cam Patterson]

You know, when I was a child,

[Chinwei]

I used to love monkey bars. Well, that's what my grandfather would call rap music,

[Cam Patterson]

You know?

[Chinwei]

You know, I don't think I could ever date a girl that's tried to kill herself before. She sounds like she's got commitment issues. I'm guessing that's the minute.

[Cam Patterson]

Eh,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

very good, Chin. Wei. Very good. I like it. Chin, how long you been doing stand up comedy?

[Chinwei]

Since March. November of 2021.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

November of 2020.

[Chinwei]

But I've been kind of slacking for the year and a half of it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how come you've been slacking?

[Chinwei]

I don't know. I don't know what happened. I kind of got bored. The bit. I'm from the Bay Area. I didn't really like the scene and kind of, you know, I don't know, saved up a little bit, came here, and now I'm finally getting the wheels rolling, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Absolutely. Okay. So you live in the Bay Area still?

[Chinwei]

No, no, I'm here now. Moved here in March.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You moved here in March? In March. Very good. How do you like Austin, Texas?

[Chinwei]

I'm loving it. We're hearing way more country than hip hop. You know, life's all right. I love it. You know, people are more cordial.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's good. What do you do for a living?

[Chinwei]

I'm a server. A little breakfast joint.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. How old are you?

[Chinwei]

I'm 26.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

26. Very good. And. Okay. Did you go to college?

[Chinwei]

I did. I spent five years in Boulder. Yeah, I did a lot of assets. Kind of developed my personality there. And that was before weed was legal in California, so I went there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, what?

[Chinwei]

That was before weed was legal in California, so. Oh, I caught the wave.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Chinwei]

Just a through and through piece of shit. I don't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, no, no, you're good. You look like you're smoking good stuff. Yeah. His weed's so good. By way the way he's not even Asian people. You have no idea. This is all natural. Colorado weed will do that to you. Okay. So you said that you sing. What kind of.

[Chinwei]

Sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you say that you sing?

[Chinwei]

No, no, I wish.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, that's the name.

[Chinwei]

The coolest thing in the world, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I agree. Do you have any special skills or talents?

[Chinwei]

I play a lot of poker. You know, I'm real proud of that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah?

[Chinwei]

Yeah. Just a real. That gambler. Yeah, that kind of deal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How's that working out for you?

[Chinwei]

We run, like, not too well. Not too well. I don't know if I can hold them in Texas, you know.

[J.T. Abbott]

I don't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's tough. Is that what you do?

[Cam Patterson]

Your.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Poker's your game?

[Chinwei]

Yeah, poker.

[Gary Falcon]

And.

[Chinwei]

Yeah, it's only fair because, you know, when you sit at the slots, they never bring you drinks, but if you sit at the poker table, you know. Yeah, they're always there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You like drinking too.

[Owen Galavan]

And there you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your drink of choice? Choice?

[Chinwei]

I'm kind of. I'm kind of trashy. I like rum and Coke.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah, just, you know, Captain Morgan.

[Chinwei]

Yeah. Sailor Jerry's actually.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sailor Jerry. Whoa. Wow. Look.

[Chinwei]

Back to college.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Look at you. And you smoke weed every day.

[Chinwei]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's okay. It's okay. I'm not your dad. You can tell me. It's okay. Do your parents know? We were. We found. We had an Asian comedian up earlier that. Whose parents were supportive of the. His arts.

[Chinwei]

I think supportive is a strong word. I think threw in the towel is

[Owen Galavan]

the right way to put it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know about that one. Incredible. Incredible. What else do you do for fun, Shin?

[Chinwei]

I like golf. I like fishing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You really play golf? You have, like, your own clubs?

[Chinwei]

Yeah.

[Red Band]

Oh, yeah, I got.

[Chinwei]

I got these, like a set of Ben hogan from, like, 1980. It's pretty cool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. How'd you get those?

[Chinwei]

Found at someone's garage sale. They were selling for like 10 bucks a year. I was like, I'll take the whole iron set, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Chinwei]

It's a good steal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You seem like a fun guy.

[Chinwei]

Yeah, well, I'm happy you think that, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's really cool. It's like, happy. No, don't. Redban. See, you took a good moment and you made it all weird and racist. Don't. No, don't, Don't. No. Stop it. Redband. He's out of control. Don't, don't. Don't mind him. So, Chin, tell us something else interesting about your life. Do you talk to your parents often?

[Chinwei]

Yeah, yeah, they're cool. I think they love me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, but

[Red Band]

all these fake apes like

[Chinwei]

nobody else, you know? I think. I think that's kind of how I describe it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have siblings?

[Chinwei]

I do. I have an older sister.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does she do?

[Chinwei]

She's like, kind of. She's kind of like the pride and joy of the family.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Engineer. Parent.

[Chinwei]

Yeah, no, I think like bio engineer or something, like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Cam Patterson]

4.0.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep.

[Chinwei]

How old is it real? You know, respectable.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just calm down here. Is she into dying? Bloated, drowning victims, they all.

[Chinwei]

There you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, I just think about recently.

[Chinwei]

It was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Amazing. Wow, Chin. Incredible. How's your love life in Austin going?

[Chinwei]

Oh, it's. It's going, you know. No, we're looking around, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Looking at the ball rolling.

[Chinwei]

Same deal with comedy. You know, I've been kind of slacking a little.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you been on a date?

[Chinwei]

Oh, no, I haven't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you kissed a girl since you moved to Austin, Texas?

[Cam Patterson]

Oh, man.

[Chinwei]

Why you gotta cut so deep right now? My dog.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You haven't. No. Is there a woman out there? You know, we have the best fans in the world here on Kill. Tony. There is. Are you willing, lady? It's gotta be you. Agree to it. Wait a second. Hold on. Get up here, baby. Wait, we. We know this young lady. Holy. A legend of the game, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, my God. It's about to go down. You ever had a straight up cougar before?

[Red Band]

Tony the matchmaker.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dude, you're about to get it. Chin, I don't think you know what the going on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Chin goes hard in the pain on his head. Oh, my God. Oh, my. Oh, My God. Holy, holy, holy. With me. Could you stay on here with me? Oh, my God. I'm literally watching him grow facial hair in real time. It's coming. This is incredible. It. How old, how old are you?

[Chinwei]

I'm 26, baby.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Old enough. She thought you were 17 for a second.

[Red Band]

I just shaved today. That's probably my fault, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Now you've done this before, am I correct?

[Red Band]

You done on the show?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, I've never done. Remind me your name. I'm sorry, I go through a lot of people. Not you, Chin. I'm talking to her. You're not in Asia anymore. Let the woman smile, speak. Put the mic in front of her face. Chin, my name's Lori. Lori. Lori what? I'm the therapist, not the rapist. Right, You're a therapist. I'm a therapist. And you've been on before. I have. That's right. Look at you. Aren't you just so much fun? My goodness. Isn't it funny how looks may be deceiving? This is her second time kissing a young man on this show. You know, I worry about the last 25 year old old. What about that? He could be doing better or worse. The last guy, he was only 25. He'd been here about six months. No kisses? Absolutely. Maybe he got a date. Or maybe he's gay too. Now anything can happen. You are a killer. Personally, I'm still gay. Yeah, and I you are. And I'm getting all the action. You look like you beat lesbian. The video game, it is incredible. The final, final boss. I mean, it's incredible. Absolutely amazing. I mean, Chin, would you be willing to wear a wig and eat her pussy tonight? As long as it's on camera. What? Hell yeah. You guys eat bats? You'll definitely eat old pussy.

[Chinwei]

I'll put anything on a plate.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Absolutely incredible. Lori, you have the best fucking sense of humor. I don't know how in the world such a powerful lesbian gets our show so well and loves it so much. But I love that we have the kind of range to have the fucking head coach of a WNBA team here. Coming up, kissing boys. Absolutely unbelievable that this is the second time that you've done this and none of the times you called for the manager afterwards. It is absolutely amazing. Lori, how about you get a big joke bug? What? Hold on, wait. I mean, I was famous in San Angelo after this. You were what? Famous in San Angelo. In San Angelo after Kill Tony. They found out about you. Do you get recognized on the street Sometimes. A lot. Really? This show Is crazy. I, like, always forget that, like all of a sudden you can be like. Extremely. Especially you, because I. I bet sometimes they think you're me. They're like, here, Hey, I know you from Kill Tony. You're the host, right? Got some sun in. See? Self deprecation, ladies and gentlemen. You are so special. What do you do for work, Lori? Are you, like, really what I think you are?

[Corinne Aliyah]

What do you think I am?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gym teacher.

[Lori]

Stop.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jesus. No, what do you do for work? I'm a physical therapist. Oh, that's right. Absolutely. And I play with horses. Oh. Oh, you do play with. And people trust me with their children. Absolutely incredible. Wow. Amazing. You're actually pretty hot for an old dyke, you know that? Here's the big joke book. That's for you. I love you, Lori. You're a fucking legend. How about a hand for Lori, ladies and gentlemen? Hey, Chin, I would love to have you do the secret show. Five minutes on the secret show. Oh, you want to do the secret show on Thursday, huh? You want to do the secret show? This be could guy's all of his bloods to his right now.

[Red Band]

I'm here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sorry, I made.

[Red Band]

I can't think right now. Everything

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I have not had But I tasted it when I kissed a. Rory, you're on the secret show on Thursday. You kissed a.

[Chinwei]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Flaming bulldike. Absolutely incredible night for you.

[Chinwei]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Chin way, ladies and gentlemen. There he goes. Not so much. Have a great night. God damn. How about one more time for Lori, huh? Let me buy her a drink. By the way. You know what, Lori? You and your crew are invited to Mitzy afterwards. How about that? That's a cool thing. Hell yeah. All right. The band is amazing. So subtle. Your next bucket pull is from the inside. Ladies and gentlemen, it is one of you representing you this audience on this night. Ladies and gentlemen, 60 seconds uninterrupted for one of your very own. He goes by the name of Jason Elrod. Oh, from right in the front, here we go. Jason Elrod. He was on recently. Oh, I remember that. That was the guy who was funnier than his friend. Ah, ladies and gentlemen, his second time ever on stage. This or on this stage. This is Jason snl, Rod.

[Jason Elrod]

So I like to hear about all the things that people do to get themselves off. Entertains me. Spitting, slapping, name calling, autoerotic asphyxiation. But my favorite thing I've heard about is where guys like to sit on their hand until it falls asleep and then they jerk themselves off. Anybody know what that's Called thank you the Stranger who said that. Actually, like, eight guys said that.

[Gary Falcon]

But

[Jason Elrod]

so here's what I like to do. I like to sit on my left hand about 10 minutes till it loses all the feeling in it, and then I slap the shit out of my kids. And it feels like another parent is doing it. I call that the stepdad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you.

[Jason Elrod]

That's my time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Another remix of the Stranger joke that we've heard a couple times before on the show. But it's okay. Everybody's got to do it. So how many times have you done standup? Let's find out about your actual life. Let's ignore this set and just move on to a rock solid interview here.

[Jason Elrod]

Jason, how many times? I. I don't know. I've been doing it about 10 months. Ish.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So who does he sound like? You sound like somebody.

[Jason Elrod]

You said my voice was weird last time, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you sound like somebody. I'm just going to keep asking you questions while I figure out who you sound like. Like, since the last time you were on, is there anything in the interview portion that you realize that that would be interesting to bring up in the interview portion of the show about your entire life? Really? You can reference anything at this point?

[Jason Elrod]

Well, you didn't ask me what the most interesting thing about me was. And my pre planned answer before was that I delivered my son via water birth at home.

[Red Band]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The poor man's birth. Wow. My goodness. Was it water or was it Mountain Dew? Seems incredible.

[Jason Elrod]

We ran a hose from the shower to the bedroom to an inflatable tub.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Elrod]

And the thing is, it was February and the tub water got cold eventually, so I had to like, like, pale buckets of water out the window and then run new hot water in, like, every hour or so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's the most white trash child birth I've ever heard of in my entire life. Did you give the kid a white trash name? Boy or girl?

[Jason Elrod]

It's Hunter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, it's a Hunter. So was it a boy or a girl? Ah, got you. Okay. Okay. So you had a boy. It's Hunter. Is that your only kid?

[Jason Elrod]

No, I have a daughter as well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, how old are these kids?

[Jason Elrod]

Hunter's 16 and my daughter Ava is 11.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. And they're in school? You enrolled them in school or are they making bombs in the woods right now?

[Jason Elrod]

Me and Hunter's mom were super crunchy hippies. We tried to keep him off the grid. That lasted like two years. And then we got him all his shots and a Social Security number.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So I was actually correct. Yeah. Sometimes you think I'm being funny up here. Turns out I'm a fucking psychic. Wow. So you guys were off the grid. When you say crunchy hippies. I've never heard that terminology before. What do you mean by that? Give us some examples of what were the most crunchy hippie things about you. Let's start with longest you've gone without shower boring.

[Jason Elrod]

Yeah, I'm about like three days right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right now?

[Jason Elrod]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, absolutely disgusting.

[Jason Elrod]

It's been a busy. I've been busy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely disgusting. I swear to God. I've had three showers today. I wake up, I shower, I get in the cold plunge, I shower, I go swimming, I shower, I hit the sauna, I shower. I got a haircut today. Guess what? Showered afterwards, took a nap, got ready for work, showered. And then there's you. Yeah. Red band shits himself. There you go. There's a little contribution from Red Band, ladies and gentlemen, little footnote, if you will. Little. Little co author. Just adding a contribution the. The William to my Shakespeare, if you will. Myself shower fart noise. All right, so, okay, you've gone three days right now. Do you not like it? I've always wanted. Let me just really talk to you for a second because I've always wondered, do people not like showers as much as I do? Is it something in my genetics? Because my mom always had this thing where she would always go, you know, the one thing that I never take for granted is a nice hot shower. It's the most lovely thing in the world.

[William Montgomery]

Maybe she.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She instilled that in me. Maybe she raised me kind of not OCD because I just love it. It's not like a thing I go YouTube channel where it's like, oh, God, I feel so good. You answer now. What the is wrong with you? I want to know. Do you not find it unbelievably enjoyable?

[Jason Elrod]

No, I love it. I've just been busy as the last. Well, it was a 16 hour drive, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I've been literally sitting around papers every waking hour of every day that just say Madison Square Garden and have different comedians names and things that I want to do with these shows. I mean, I'm busy. I'm busy like you could never fathom. We are, whatever, 12 days away from two nights back to back at Madison Square Garden. You're telling me you're busy doing what? Emptying an ashtray? What are you busy doing? Tell me what the fuck is so busy about you?

[Jason Elrod]

So I actually, I was setting up a Podcast studio for. Actually, Layla Ingalls came over to my spot to do a podcast. Red Band, call me for a titty fuck.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The fuck is that? Yeah. What are you talking about?

[Jason Elrod]

So I stayed up. I stayed up late setting up a podcast. Then the next day, we had a roast show and actually got. I think I got Perma banned from the bar for doing ketamine with some random guy. And then. Then Today, I drove 16 hours to get here. I just didn't have time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You drove 16 hours to be here today?

[Jason Elrod]

I drove about 12 hours from Nashville, where I did a pit stop at my sister's. But four hours from Cincinnati to Nashville,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

you didn't want to shower at your sister's?

[Jason Elrod]

It was late, and I didn't want to, like, inconvenience them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And I'm like, don't you think it's more of an inconvenience to sleep somewhere all stinky?

[Jason Elrod]

I thought of that, but I was like, fuck it, I'm tired.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Doesn't it make you sleep better if you feel clean?

[Jason Elrod]

Yes, But I had to make a decision, and I'm like, I need at least four hours of fucking sleep before I do the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You don't think 3 hours and 50 minutes of sleep with clean balls would have been better than what you have going on? That baked potato you got down there?

[Jason Elrod]

No, it. I. Yeah, dude,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

you know what?

[Jason Elrod]

I didn't want to inconvenience the person I'm staying with here either.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know what? I've never done this before, but I think we should have Lori smell your balls right now. No, I'm kidding. Lori. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Oh, my God. We've found Lori's girlfriend. Over here.

[Cam Patterson]

Look at this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Targaryen, dragon queen, over here. Holy. Look at the silver locks on this one. Oh, my God. Are you Lori's lady? Did I find it? No, but you eat. Am I correct? Well, then get up here and smell his balls. What are you talking about? Jesus. What's your fucking problem? All right, so what makes you a crunchy hippie before I let you out of here?

[Jason Elrod]

I mean, I used to follow fish and have dreadlocks and sell LSD to strangers and.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, that qualifies. You are indeed a crunchy hippie. Where are you sleeping tonight? What's your plan? For now? I want. I want you to find a shower. It's not that you're a smelly guy. I can't smell anything. I'm sure there's even smellier people. Probably Here there's probably different ethnicities and whatnot. That there's a smell that compared to a white guy with three days. I mean, some of these people out here, I don't know if you know. What do you think the smelliest race is? If you had to guess?

[Red Band]

Oh, white.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Noi all right. He actually started to end answer there. I'm going to stop you there. All right. You were on before and you got a big joke book. Am I correct?

[Jason Elrod]

Correct.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, there you go. Use it. Try to dig deep, man. You got to find original stuff that applies to your life. I got. I dragged so much interesting out of you in this interview. You need to be talking about that. You need to be talking about a crunchy hippie. You need to talk about how you need a shower, what you did today, and all this crazy. You know what I mean? Mean.

[Jason Elrod]

I'm working on the personal stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, you're green. You're trying to make people laugh. That's what you're trying to do. And what you need to do is as corny as it sounds. And I can't believe I'm getting this serious on an episode this funny. You gotta really come from within, within your perspective. Talk about giving a white trash water birth and dumping water out of a. Probably an apartment window, not a house. Right?

[Jason Elrod]

I have a bit about that. But it didn't get laughs, so I've never tried it again.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Real works. It doesn't need to get laughs at some fucking janky open mic in the outskirts of Tennessee. You need to fucking keep trying that stuff. Don't try this stuff that gets laughs in front of shitty audiences at a shitty bar somewhere.

[Jason Elrod]

I appreciate that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Stay loyal to yourself.

[Jason Elrod]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There goes Jason Elrod. A touching, deep artistic moment for me. By the way, Layla is that little smoke show that was on before. Yeah. And she refuses to leave Ohio. It's a very sad story. She'll be dead soon. She'll die slowly yet fast in Ohio. No, I'm kidding. Shout out, Layla. Okay, one final bucket pool. Sound good? Where the is Gary Falcon that he really had to go potty, huh? All right, one final bucket pole. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for Anthony Walton, everybody. Anthony Walton.

[Red Band]

Howdy. Oh, boy. I used to get bullied a lot

[Cam Patterson]

at home.

[Red Band]

Yeah, Mexicans are vicious, you know, they like to pick your biggest insecurity and use it as your nickname. I was insecure about looking Asian, as most of you probably thought. They used to call me Chino, which just translates to Chinese. And they'd sing the song Chino, Chino Japones comacaca no me des, Which just means Chinese, Chinese, Japanese, eat shit, but don't give me any. That was fun to hear as a child, you know? You know, first all my cousins will call me Chino. Then the kids, then all the teachers, which people thought that was my real name, which I guess makes more sense than Anthony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fuck. Yeah. Anthony Walton. Amazing. So what ethnicity are you, Lord of the Chipmunks?

[Red Band]

White and Mexican.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

White and Mexican, Yes.

[Red Band]

But if I do this, I look pretty Asian.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. You do. Yeah. You do. Absolutely. What do you do for work?

[Red Band]

I do groundscaping for apartments.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep. You're Mexican. You kind of. You kind of. Is that. Say that. Say what you do for work again?

[Red Band]

Groundskeeping. Like, I just pick up, like, maintenance for apartments, which, like, a pro tip

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

for Hang Hill with him hearing. What is that, Bobby? I do. I do groundskeeping for apartments. Everybody's kind of sounding weird to me tonight.

[Red Band]

It's what happens with my. My dad being white, you know, he was like, hank Hill, RIP

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

all right. Groundskeeping for apartments. Have you ever noticed somebody frame frantically throwing water out of a second floor apartment at any point? You're like, well, I guess I don't need to water that part of the lawn today. My goodness. I'm a real Mexican.

[Red Band]

Not in my property.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is Joe White here? The photographer? Is he here tonight? Bring Joe up here. I want Joe White. This is a special treat for y'. All. You're gonna get to meet the. You sound like a 150-year-old white guy. I'm gonna introduce you to Joe White, ladies and gentlemen. Where's he at? I'm gonna get him up here. You're not gonna believe what he sounds like. Is Joe here? Is he coming? He's coming. Where's he coming from? He's having a. I was having a cigarette in the green room. I can't believe it. Tony said he wanted me to come on the show, and I don't know why. I don't know what this could possibly mean or be. I don't think I sound like a young Mexican boy, but it turns out, God damn it, in this instance, I do. You guys sound alike. You're gonna love this. Here he comes, ladies and gentlemen. We had to get him out of his coffin. Truly, this guy, one of. One of the oldest men on planet Earth, ladies and gentlemen. He's been our photographer ever since Vulcan Gas Company. Keep coming. I don't even know how to get on the damn stage. I've been shooting the Pictures for so goddamn long. I've never even been on this stage before. This is all new to me. Do I have to empty my pockets, too? I've been a goddamn photographer. Oh, say it into the microphone, Joe. Actually, I have been on stage once, but. All right, I'm going to ask you guys a question. You're going to answer first and then you're going to answer second and we're going to see exactly how alike you guys sound. So. Oh, boy. All right. So, all right, here is the question. All right, Anthony, Anthony, what do you get if you mix the color red and yellow?

[Red Band]

Red, yellow. You get some brown.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Purple. No, you get orange. Okay, okay. All right. Okay, and then next question. What is is the first verse of the national anthem? Don't help him, Joe. Joe, don't talk to him. You have to sing the national anthem. What would be the words of the song? You don't have to sing it, just say it.

[Red Band]

Oh, oh, country tizzle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Joe White.

[Red Band]

Oh, say can you see.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is incredible. You're being out trivia ed by a 1000 year old man right now. Not a lot of people know this, but the first pictures that Joe White took was actually at the Last Supper. All right, y', all, now I need you to get on one side of the tuck label for me. Freeze frame. All right, so let's do a little special spelling bee round. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the spelling bee portion of the dumbass Olympics. Live here on an episode of Kill. Tony. Are you a good speller, Anthony?

[Red Band]

No, I'm pretty.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, Joe, you're not a good speller. You're a good speller. Okay, here we go. The word is cinnamon. Anthony will go first with the word cinnamon and his old white guy voice. Here we go.

[Red Band]

C, I, N, N, M, O, N.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is yet amazingly incorrect. You manage to miss the easiest letter in the entire word, Ladies and gentlemen. Hold on, Joe. Hold on. Ladies and gentlemen, Spelling Cinnamon, this is Joe White. C, I, M, M, A, M, O, N. Very good. He did it again. He did it again. Make some noise for Joe White, ladies and gentlemen. A legend of the show. The man, man behind the pictures. You see, sometimes it's the great Troy Conrad as well. But Joe's been with us since the Vulcan days. He's here every single Monday takes. He is the head of photography here at the mothership. Believe it or not. I know it's crazy to think that there's a man that can not get an erect penis anymore. Taking the pictures here at the mothership. I'M kidding, kidding. Mexico photos. No, I'm kidding. He goes on vacations and somehow is surrounded by hot all the time. We're not kidding. Smoke cigarettes. Give it up for this. He does. He gets hard. You get hard, right, Joe? Yeah, he gets hard. He confirmed. Yeah, I get hard. I get hard as a goddamn rock. Oh, I was there when the wheel was built. All right, Anthony, you've been on the show show before.

[Red Band]

I've been on a road show like 2019 in Dallas.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right, well, guess what, my friend, you're getting a little joke book. There you go. There he goes. Ladies and gentlemen, Anthony Walton, everybody. Goodbye, Anthony. I didn't know whether you wanted me to leave or not. I didn't even know. All right, well, I don't know if you guys notice, but the big red machine is here. So if he's here, then who will close the show? I present to you one of the greatest additions to the show in its history. A man that we are on a mission from God to make a goddamn American. He is without a doubt the one and only Estonian Assassin. This is Ari Matti.

[Red Band]

Yo, yo, what's crackle lacking? I was walking home shit faced the other day. I was walking home by Lady Bird Lake. The next day I get back to the club. The other comedians are like, hey, Ari, you don't do that because apparently there's a gay guy out there murdering gay guys. Now, I don't want to be homophobic, but ain't no gay guy gonna get me. You're not gonna catch me, brother. Dude, I have a fully heterosexual sprint. Dude. Aerodynamic, trauma filled. Might be closeted. You're not gonna catch me with a.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So good.

[Red Band]

Not gonna catch me with a skip.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ari Matti, ladies and gentlemen, absolutely incredible. A fantastic fucking new minute. Absolutely amazing.

[Red Band]

It's such a stupid joke.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's great. It's great. How's it going, Ari?

[Red Band]

Going great. You know, it's plenty of opportunities here. The visa is looking better and better. People are saying Estonian assassin. I don't think that's good for immigration. Have a nickname name? Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Isn't the girl the cougar? The one that he kissed last time? She was. Wait, was. Was it Lori?

[Red Band]

No, I remember my angel. It wasn't her.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay.

[Red Band]

Yeah, my angel with the mama lose.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What are Mama Lou tits? Those are big old tits.

[Red Band]

My tits Gonzalez knows what's up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah tits.

[Red Band]

Ever heard of Antonio?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

If I can are tips. What are those? We can gross. Ew, you mean those flesh bags? I'm not Even into those. All right.

[Red Band]

I have huge balls that you would love.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ooh,

[Red Band]

tiny dick, huge balls.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Huge bowls. I love bowls. Bowls of ice cream, balls of pasta. I love it. Ari, what else is going on in the world?

[Red Band]

I don't know. You know, just, you know, that's. That's the hardest part about the interview, that, you know, like, Hans Kim is buying AR15s and Cam is buying cars, you know, hanging out with chicks. Dude, I'm just chilling and being happy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. William, you've been closing the show for years. What do you think about the great Ari Matty year?

[William Montgomery]

I think Ari is a wonderful pleasure. It's been a wonderful pleasure for me to get to know him. And I got to start.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[William Montgomery]

We got to start riding bicycles together. I've been a Tony. I got to start doing it with you. We got to start biking. But I think he's wonderful at comedy. He's a breath of fresh air. I love you so much. And he really is when he says he's hanging out with some chicks. Oh, my gosh. Y' all should see his ass at the Mitzi's place after. These different girls. They're all like, actresses from Romania or wherever. You're from Estonia. I'm kidding. Yes, they're all from. But it seems like he's doing good. Keep it up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're doing great.

[Red Band]

Yeah, I have my, like, Estonian angels that sometimes come and visit, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Red Band]

I love Estonian girls because, you know, they're, you know, American girls are all like, I think, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right,

[Gary Falcon]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Estonian girls are honest about what they want.

[Red Band]

They don't know shit, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Red Band]

I love a girl that's fucking. I want a Drew Nickens with a pussy, you know what I'm saying? She don't know callbacks. She don't know technique. She thinks stand up is magic. Dude. Dude, my ex girlfriend was from the hill. Dude, you want to DM my girl? She ain't got Instagram. You gotta recover an account on MySpace. These new age. I have a right. You.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So funny. Absolutely amazing. Well, Ari, I'm very excited about your Estonian ascent to the mountaintop. Yeah, it's crazy in real time. I know a lot that's going on behind the scenes and right down the road and right around the corner.

[Red Band]

It's a crazy ride.

[Ethan Kim]

Dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is amazing to watch a star actually go like a stranger in Estonia to a full blown, you know, global superstar. And it's so deserved. You're so funny.

[Red Band]

Thank you so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hilarious on stage and off and all. Around and everybody.

[Red Band]

Estonia. It's great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go. It's a little gift from the Tourism association of Estonia. I love it. Did you guys have fun tonight? The drawing from Ryan Jee Belt is in. It is absolutely incredible. It is indeed. William Montgomery and Gary Falcon. It is amazing. Ryanjebelt.com to check that out. Perhaps buy the print. How about one more time for Gary Falcon, everybody who didn't get to make it bad. He's on the potty still. Gary wanted you to go watch Nick Swartzen's new special make joke from face. It's on YouTube. Find it, track it down. It's Nick Swartzen's new special. It's so interesting.

[Owen Galavan]

Just watch it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When comedians do that, they promote other comedians. That's so nice of Gary to you know, he could have plugged anything he wanted. Instead, he goes to one of the greatest comedians of all time. He promotes him, Nick Swift Swartzen. So make sure you check out Nick Swartzen's special Make joke from Face. Why not watch it right now since this episode is over and you can like and subscribe to this show. A lot of people watch the show, but we need you to subscribe. This is what people have been telling me to say. My producer, Yoni gets very excited when I say the word subscribe. Our episode with Shane Gillispie had 15 million followers. 15 million. If they all subscribe, it'll be crazy. Like 15 million viewers. If they all subscribe, that would be crazy. How about a hand for the big blue machine? William. Lights out. Montgomery. The cranberry from Canberra. The Sicilian from Saskatchewan. The mulberry from Maple Street. William, Anything you want to plug or

[William Montgomery]

promote, please find me on Cameo. Look at my Instagram. I'm still traveling all around doing shows. Look at my Instagram. It has the dates and everything. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go. We did it again. The stream from Madison Square Garden. Still available to watch. Watch. You can wait and watch the censored version, but right now you can splurge and go watch it. Right now, probably. And so that's happening. And we love you. Thanks to DraftKings. Game time, talk space. A lot of fun stuff happening. One more time for the best damn band in the land. And how about one more time for one of the top young rising musicians in the world, Marcus King joining us tonight. Why don't you guys take us out with a little something, huh? There we go. Thank you. Good night.

[Red Band]

Love you guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sam. One and we just like doing it for fun. Yeah. Y everything we do is on one, and we just like doing it for fun. Yeah, everything we do is on one. It. The Sunset Strip Comedy club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets. Sam.