#677 - JORDAN PETERSON - TYLER FISCHER - KIM CONGDON

Summary

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Kill Tony #677 — Jordan Peterson, Tyler Fischer, Kim Congdon

Date: August 20, 2024
Location: Comedy Mothership, Austin, Texas

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Overview

This episode of Kill Tony, the world’s #1 live podcast, hosts a truly eclectic and electric blend of brains and comedy, with guests spanning the spectrum of intellect and irreverence: Dr. Jordan Peterson (psychologist and author), comic impressionist Tyler Fischer, and Kill Tony legend Kim Congdon. With hundreds of hopeful comics vying for a minute onstage, this show mixes razor-sharp crowd work, outrageous live performances, candid interviews, and spontaneous madness. The episode explores a melting pot of bold comedic perspectives, real-life stories, and bracing debate, punctuated by Peterson’s philosophical observations and relentless roasting from the hosts.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening & Guest Introductions

• Tone set: Tony Hinchcliffe promises “both a smart episode and a stupid episode.”
• Guests:
  • Kim Congdon — celebrating her move to Austin and 11 years with the show
  • Tyler Fischer — promoting his YouTube special, "The Election Special"
  • Jordan Peterson — introducing his new Peterson Academy and upcoming book, We Who Wrestle With God (Nov 12)

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2. Featured Regulars & Bucket Pulls

Ari Maddie (Estonian Assassin) [07:31]

• Stand-Up Bit: Contrasts Canadian and American cultures, jokes about divorce (“Canada stayed with mom — affirmations and gender as a construct; America stayed with dad — beer, guns, don’t listen to nobody.”)
• Panel Banter:
  • Jordan Peterson: “All degrees are like that now” [09:58] (ref. degrees you don’t need to be smart for)
  • Tyler Fischer: “He's like an Estonian Sebastian Maniscalco.” [10:10]
  • Hilarious back-and-forth about smiling cultures and working on US citizenship.

Clemente Villegas [13:33]

• Stand-Up Bit: “Prison body” and masturbation for three miles joke, vegan burger compared to trans vagina.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Tony: “You’ve never eaten a vegan burger, but have you eaten a trans pussy?” [15:05]
  • Peterson: “You can get those installed for free in Canada.” [16:59]
• Background: Credit union loans officer, embracing comedy for the rush of making people laugh.

Alex Barboza [19:05]

• Stand-Up Bit: Hospice grandma, mom dating a black guy (“you can’t filter Hennessy”), Middle Eastern lesbian experience (“tasted like shrimp curry, that’s why I’m straight” [23:35]).
• Panel Banter:
  • Peterson: “Bluntest comedian I’ve heard for a long time.” [23:12]
  • Tony: “That’s scarier than it was funny. Unbelievable.” [23:41]
  • Honest answer: “I like the rush and the attention I get from people.” [26:01]

Jack Shaw (Golden Ticket) [27:40]

• Stand-Up Bit: Homeless man calls him a “bitch McLovitt,” surreal, neurotic style.
• Panel Roasting:
  • Tony: “You make Larry David look like Michael Jordan” [29:36]
  • Tyler: “Honey, I Shrunk the Charisma” [30:11]
  • On masturbation: “I like porn stars — it’s sort of a personal connection.” [34:31]
  • Peterson analysis: Discussion of Milfs = mother love, direct to psychological insights.
  • Peterson: “Anyone could win the Democratic nomination right now.” [26:24]

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3. Wild Card Guests & Panel Discussions

Karen Jones – The Jan 6 "Tourist" [37:45]

• Jokes about Trump assassination attempt, Secret Service, P. Diddy at Jan 6, and her prosecution for entering the Capitol.
• Personal Story: Sexual abuse survival, tough upbringing, plea deal.
• Peterson: “You Americans are really quite deranged.” [40:24] “You have your upside: a fair bit of courage.” [40:44]
• Tony: “This bitch is nuts!” [41:12]
• Karen: “I am not nuts, I can count backward by seven.” [41:15]
• Touching Conclusion: “Everything that’s ever happened in my life has made me a better person. I’m optimistic. I love my life.” [46:43]

David Donic [47:38]

• Stand-Up Bit: Students mistake him for being gay, teacher stories from Chicago's south side.
• Interview: Supported family after father's passing, “coolest teacher of the year.”
• Peterson: “Why aren’t the courses any good?” [49:38]
• Notable Line: Tyler: “You pick four jobs that pay the equivalent of half a job.” [52:57]

Cam Patterson (Regular) [55:12]

• Stand-Up Bit: Language barriers with immigrants, Siri mishearing his accent.
• Tony: “Absolutely electric from the very beginning.” [56:20]
• Peterson: “When did you find out you were funny?” [61:55]
• Cam: “I used to bite people all the time. People would laugh.” [62:06]

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4. Breakout First-Timers & Memorable Interviews

Brandon Ferris [63:25]

• Stand-Up Bit: Midlife crisis, mustache, kids' intelligence, “capital of Texas is ‘T’” joke.
• Impromptu Raw Emotion: Tears up when interviewed, shares story of losing his father to Alzheimer’s.
  • Tony: “This is so, so sweet.” [65:05]
  • Brandon: “My dad’s here in spirit.” [70:34]
• Child comic: Tells of 10-year-old daughter trying stand-up.
• Family background: Works at Apple, wife at a bank, moved from Fresno, CA.

Helena [88:27]

• Stand-Up Bit: Mocks the idea of a “rape whistle” for self-defense (“play yourself out like the Titanic band”), self-roast on bombing and being misunderstood as racist in previous sets.
• Personal: Recently moved from NorCal, electrician, rides motorcycle, identifies as funny “even if nobody else does.” [92:08]
• Peterson: "What keeps you doing standup?" [91:56]
• Panel Encouragement: Returns out of spite after previous backlash; discusses resilience.

Frank Trandicosta [79:36]

• Stand-Up Bit: Adopted South Korean-Sicilian, jokes about being abandoned: “We don’t waste time on babies that suck, we just throw them away or turn them into soup.”
• Personal Story: Dad gave him heroin at 19, lost him 4 years ago.
• Peterson: “Why'd you stop (heroin)?” [82:53]
• Frank: “Not worth losing everything else to feel good for 30 minutes.”
• Chili’s Anthem: Leads crowd in “I want my baby back ribs.”

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5. Improv, Roasting & Panel Chemistry

Tyler Fischer (As Jordan Peterson Impression) [98:01]

• Bit: Nails down Peterson’s verbal style—“Well, you know, clean your room, depends on what funny means”—mixing Peterson’s cadence with dark humor.
  • “On the way here, I fingered a cat, you know, it’s like…” [98:18]
  • Impression meta-commentary about working for Daily Wire, VPN code “LOBSTER.”

Panel Throughout:

• Jordan Peterson Reactions: At times analytic, at times bemused (“You Americans are really quite deranged.” [40:24]; “Never let a psychologist ask a question.” [45:38])
• Tyler Fischer Roasts: “He looks like Rick Glassman’s cum.” [30:30], “He looks like Honey, I Shrunk the Charisma.”
• Joey Diaz & Kim Congdon Interjecting with quick, raw zingers.

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6. Closing Regular — William Montgomery [100:59]

• Stand-Up: Kamala Harris jokes, Maya Rudolph on SNL, Biden, Trump & shots.
• Candidness: Exhausted, recounts missing shows due to airline chaos; expresses honesty about stress and sobriety (“My life’s boring, but it’s okay.” [110:21]), drinks “10 or 15 club sodas” a night.

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Notable Quotes & Timelines

• Jordan Peterson on Americans:

  “You Americans are really quite deranged.” [40:24]

• Alex Barboza's honesty about comedy:

  “I like the rush and the attention I get from people.” [26:01]

• Brandon Ferris on comedy’s meaning:

  “I lost my dad to Alzheimer’s...I just really love comedy and I’ve been afraid to do it.” [65:28]

• Cam Patterson on being funny:

  “I used to bite people all the time. People would laugh.” [62:06]

• Peterson’s meta-reflection:

  “Never let a psychologist ask a question.” [45:38]

• Frank Trandicosta, after singing Chili’s jingle:

  “If you can do heroin and not ruin your life, it’s awesome. Try it.” [82:35]

• Peterson’s philosophy advice:

  “If you're dedicated enough, or should you do more than that?” (To Frank on pursuing comedy) [85:44]

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Noteworthy Segments & Timestamps

• Ari Maddie Estonian culture riff: [07:31]
• Peterson quipping about degrees: [09:58]
• Jack Shaw's surreal homeless tale: [27:40]
• Karen Jones Jan 6 confessional: [37:45]
• Alex Barboza’s “shrimp curry” punchline: [23:35]
• Tyler Fischer’s Peterson impression: [98:01]
• Frank Trandicosta’s Chili’s jingle moment: [87:36]
• Brandon Ferris’ emotional debut: [63:25–66:04]
• Helena’s resilient return: [88:27–94:33]

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Themes & Tone

• Highwire Live Comedy: Searing, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes heartfelt.
• Philosophy Meets Absurdity: Peterson’s staid analysis collides with comic chaos.
• Honest, Unfiltered Interviews: Real stories of trauma, resilience, joy, and weirdness from the audience and comedians.
• Relentless Roasting: No one is safe — from stepdads to Norden Alberta to the very foundations of stand-up.

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Conclusion

Episode #677 of Kill Tony is a wild, poignant, and hilarious ride. With Jordan Peterson dissecting the psychology of comics, Tyler Fischer’s dead-on impression, Kim Congdon’s comedic legacy, and a parade of unusual open-micers, it’s a snapshot of why Kill Tony is comedy’s most unpredictable live show — a blend of raw stand-up, unscripted interviews, and truth that’s as profound as it is profane.

For full episodes, go to: DeathSquad.TV
Peterson Academy & “We Who Wrestle With God” book: Jordan Peterson Official
Next Kill Tony Live: killtonylive.com

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Transcript

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, this is Red band and you're listening to the Death Squad podcast network. This episode of Kill Tony and every

[Joey Diaz]

episode of Kill Tony can be found

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

at Death Squad TV and now on Spotify and Apple podcasts.

[Joey Diaz]

If you want to check out Tony

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hinchcliffe's website, go to tonyhinchcliffe.com everything Golden Pony, including his tour dates at tonyhinchcliffe.com if you want to check out the

[Jordan Peterson]

Sunset strip or get some death squad

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

merch, go to Death Squad tv.

[Jordan Peterson]

And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Who's ready to start the best episode of Kill Tony of all time? Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Shane Gillis, Joe Rogan, Andrew Schultz, David Hell, Jeffrey Ross. Watching the boat bitch.

[Joey Diaz]

Joey Diaz.

[Jordan Peterson]

I want to see you do coke

[Frank Trandicosta]

and open those eyes up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I o u blow job.

[Jordan Peterson]

I don't care.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm going to do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We got pizza. It's delicious. Is it possible to eat it with our butt?

[Ari Maddie]

What are you going to do now?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Kill Tony live from Madison Square Garden is now available. Watch it now before it gets edited down. Go to killtonylive.com. Hey, this is Brad Bag coming to you live from the comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony. Who's ready for the best night of their lives tonight, huh?

[Joey Diaz]

Y

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

and here we go. It is indeed the number one live podcast in the world. How you guys doing tonight? This is Kill Tony, brought to you by expressvpn and Shopify. How about a hand for Red Band, everybody? And how about one more time for the best damn band in the land? Wow. Joining us on the violin, that's Christina Steele. Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Rothaus on extra percussions. That's the great Michael Gonzalez. Matt Muling on the electric guitar as always, John Dees on the keys, and of course, D Madness on the bass guitar. Tonight, huge show planned for you. Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.

[Tyler Fisher]

The Sunset Strip Comedy club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You guys ready to start tonight's episode? You know, I just love this show because you never know what kind of a melting pot of guests you're going to get. Tonight is just a perfect little stew. Three unbelievably entertaining human beings. Ladies and gentlemen, your guests tonight are Jordan Peterson, Tyler Fisher, and Kim Kongdick. Oh, my God. Jordan Peterson, Tyler Fisher Kim Condon. Make some noise for our guests tonight. Oh yeah, We're gonna watch some damn stand up comedy tonight with Jordan Peterson, Tyler Fisher and Kim Congdon. Kim started on the show 11 years ago. The regular writing and performing a new minute 11 goddamn years ago. How about a hand for Kim, everybody?

[Helena]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She just moved to Austin, Texas this week. We got another one. Another Austinite, ladies and gentlemen, was in New York for a long time. Brand new special, the election special out on YouTube right now. Also just moved to Austin, Texas. Another one of the funniest human beings in the world. You guys are going to know all about it real soon. This is the great Tyler Fisher, everybod and one of the great minds of our time. Absolute genius, starting his own university. You can't even make this up. First guest we've ever had on this show in 11 years that has a university coming out, the Peterson Academy. Yes, the Peterson Academy is coming soon. It's like out now. And his book, November 12th, we who Wrestle with God. Jordan Peterson is here, ladies and gentlemen. So you know, we're gonna talk to some comedians tonight. We're gonna figure out a lot. This is gonna be both a smart episode and a stupid episode of Kill Tony. Guaranteed. I'm pumped about it. Over 250 comedians signed up for the chance to get 60 seconds on this stage. If I pull their name out of the bucket, you know their time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. Unbelievable. There you go. Yeah, good. That means they have to wrap it up then, or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. And then I interview them. We find out more about them. And with my esteemed panel, maybe they get some advice, some. We find out something interesting about them that they could talk about. Anything in the world can happen. The whole show is improvised. Are you guys ready to start tonight's show? Well, we have a regular that performs every single. Well, we have a rotating regular ship right now. And this guy is taking the world by storm. Ladies and gentlemen, the Estonian assassin is here. This is a brand new minute from Ari Maddie.

[Ari Maddie]

Yo, yo, yo, what's crack a lackin? I recently went to Canada, as I like to call it, Gay America. Canada and America, super similar. I kind of feel like you guys had the same parents, but in the divorce case, Canada went to stay with mom, you know what I'm saying? She hugged him way too much, kept telling him affirmations. Of course you can wear a skirt at school. Gender is a construct.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

As you see the world, the world sees you.

[Ari Maddie]

But Then you guys obviously stayed with dad. He gave you a beer and a gun and was like, you don't listen to nobody. And that was. I was in Canada, I was watching the news. I was flipping between American and Canadian news. American news, so fucking intense. Every time you watch American news, it's always like multiple assailants, semi automatic. You turn over to Canadian news, they're like, local town, Beaver has gone missing. Back to America, Donald Trump tries to legalize rape. Thank you very much, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ari Matzy, the jewel of Estonia has arrived again with another brand new minute. We're in a hurry to get you your American pass. Or American, what is it? Citizenship.

[Ari Maddie]

Well, I'm happy with a visa.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What visa? Okay, yeah. You'd be happy with a visa? With a visa, absolutely.

[Luke Everett]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how's that process going?

[David Donic]

Good.

[Ari Maddie]

Well, you've been helping a little bit, but otherwise it's a bit of shot in the dark. Maybe I need to join university.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

One thing's for sure, you're not Jordan.

[Ari Maddie]

Do you have some degree where you don't need to be smart?

[Jordan Peterson]

All degrees are like that now,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ari. Maddie. Tyler, what do you think about Ari?

[Joey Diaz]

I love Ari. I love your style. He's like an Estonian. Sebastian Maniscalco. I got in the Uber. He goes, you don't take the euro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's going on? What's going on, Ari? So much fun. We had fun in Florida. I took you to do some sold out theaters with me.

[Ari Maddie]

Florida people are fucking crazy, huh?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jesus. That was your first time in Florida?

[Ari Maddie]

First time in Florida, yes. We talked to some porn stars after the show. Holy shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okie dokie.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is there anything else you'd like to tell the fucking world? That we did. After I paid you to live your dreams on the road, I was available.

[Joey Diaz]

You take this illegal immigrant or finish the wall. You gotta finish the wall. They're taking our jobs.

[Jordan Peterson]

You don't usually talk to porn stars, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's all we did. Just some good old conversation. Nothing better than conversing. Only.

[Cam Patterson]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

With porn stars. I wore a condom. Just in case

[Ari Maddie]

I don't have any weird spots on my dick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not at all, Ari. So much fun. What else is going on in your life? Anything else crazy? I don't know.

[Ari Maddie]

I've just been chilling out, trying to integrate, you know, smile more. Otherwise, pretty cool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Cool club.

[Ari Maddie]

Everybody's so funny. Tyler, you're so funny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Estonians don't smile a lot.

[Ari Maddie]

No, it means you're up to something, you know? Oh,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

that is kind of interesting. When you meet Some, Right? They're like that in Europe, huh?

[Ari Maddie]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Ari Maddie]

Well, Eastern Europe, you know. We've been over a bit, right?

[Luke Everett]

Whoa.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, you're kind of like, you went to Estonia. You could be the pedophile and the kid.

[David Donic]

You kind of.

[Jordan Peterson]

That's kind of.

[Joey Diaz]

We both have that vibe, in a way. I catch pedophiles on the weekend. I just hang out at the playground.

[Jordan Peterson]

He's an auto pedophile.

[Joey Diaz]

Auto pedophile.

[Ari Maddie]

Oh, you have.

[Joey Diaz]

That's a Carl Jung quote, I think, right,

[Ari Maddie]

Tyler, I didn't know. You have such beautiful blue eyes, you know.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, thank you.

[Ari Maddie]

Dominant feature.

[Tyler Fisher]

He's trying to get a visa.

[Ari Maddie]

You're pretty too, Kim.

[Tyler Fisher]

No, thank you. I don't like foreigners.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ari, Maddie, an amazing way to start the show. So funny. As always, we thank you so much. Ari, Maddie, everybody. Have a good night, guys. And now things get crazy. Ladies and gentlemen, this is where we meet people. I mean, these people perhaps waited for hours hoping that their name gets pulled out of the bucket. Anything can happen. It could be a crazy person. Could be the future of the show. Could be a genius, could be a moron. Anything. Make some noise for your first bucket pool. We're gonna meet them all together. It is Clemente Villegas, everybody. Clemente.

[Clemente Villegas]

So I got told recently that I have a prison body. Yeah. Someone was like, you're prison big. And I didn't know if that was a compliment or an insult. You know, like, does it look like I do push ups, or can you tell that I've been molested? Bad at handling soap? No, but I heard that and I was like, I should do more cardio. So I went and got an apple watch, you know, Counts my steps. I thought it'd motivate me to go run. It hasn't. But I have learned a lot about myself. Like, I just recently discovered I can masturbate for three miles. That's pretty good stamina, you guys. It's a whole 5k. I got an athletic dick, a lot of vegan food. Big push for vegan food. I feel like eating a vegan burger for the first time is a lot like eating a trans vagina for the first time. I'll explain, because first taste, you're like, oh, this is new. This is exciting, you know? But then you get halfway through and you're not sure if you're eating new pussy or just some old leftover dick. But then you finish and you feel better about yourself and the environment. It's a joke, you guys. I've never had a Vegan burger.

[David Donic]

There you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Clemente Villegas. Getting it started here.

[Tyler Fisher]

Kim Congdon, I feel like you just got declined from Jordan's university.

[Clemente Villegas]

I can't afford to it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You've never eaten a vegan burger, but have you eaten a trans pussy?

[Clemente Villegas]

Not yet.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay. Would you.

[Clemente Villegas]

You know, if the time is right, yes. They're getting better. Maybe in, like four years, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you know they're getting better? Are you looking them up? Are you researching them?

[Clemente Villegas]

Well, there's. There's plenty out here, you know, there's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you seeing them? Are you tasting them? What do you mean they're getting better?

[Clemente Villegas]

I mean, like, they. They like the first one, you know, like bre. That one is kind of rough. But, like, lately.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you know? Have you seen it?

[Clemente Villegas]

No, just in person. I mean, not in person, just on tv. You know, like, they look.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm talking about specifically the vagina.

[Clemente Villegas]

Oh, no, I have not seen a vagina in person.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No.

[Clemente Villegas]

A trans vagina?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How about a trans vagina?

[Clemente Villegas]

I've seen regular vagina a couple, but no, I haven't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know if I believe you. Clemente. How long you been doing stand up?

[Clemente Villegas]

Seven years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where at?

[Clemente Villegas]

I started up in Amarillo, Texas, but I've been here three years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do for work?

[Clemente Villegas]

I work for a credit union.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, so you're like a bank teller?

[Clemente Villegas]

Yeah, I do, like, in the loan department. So a lot of paperwork stuff and.

[Joey Diaz]

So you want to work in a business where there's no money? You want to switch that? Just give up all the money. Stay where the money is. Kind of looks like Nate Bargazzi fucked Andrew Schultz a little bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can see that little bit. All right. I can't see that.

[Joey Diaz]

Two funny comics.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like you'd wear a monocle. Well, you ever thought about it?

[Joey Diaz]

I would try doing an accent like the last guy, and you'll be famous fucking touring with this guy in no time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, I'll let you eat my trans pussy. It's like a veggie burger if it works. Oh, yeah. Veggie burger's disgusting.

[Jordan Peterson]

You can get those installed for free in Canada.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

By the way,

[Joey Diaz]

somebody break out Bill C16.

[Clemente Villegas]

We'll.

[Joey Diaz]

We'll get to the bottom of it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Clemente, what made you want to start standup comedy?

[Clemente Villegas]

I just. Every time I would make someone laugh, I would just feel really good about myself.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how would you do that?

[Clemente Villegas]

You know, like when I was. When I was a young child and I would say something stupid and People would laugh at me and I'd be

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

like, oh, hell yeah.

[Luke Everett]

You know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And it made you feel good? Yeah. Yeah, Right?

[Clemente Villegas]

Spreading. Spreading joy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you have any other hobbies other than stand up comedy and a credit union?

[Clemente Villegas]

I go to the gym. I read books. I like hiking, swimming, you know, outdoor shit.

[Joey Diaz]

Cool.

[Clemente Villegas]

Mushrooms.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Mushrooms are fun. How exciting.

[Tyler Fisher]

Wow, he really does look like he's been in prison though, right? He has. Like, have you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you ever been arrested?

[Jordan Peterson]

No.

[Tyler Fisher]

You look like you make ramen noodles in a grocery bag.

[Clemente Villegas]

Like, I've done that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's the closest to getting arrested you think you've ever been?

[Clemente Villegas]

That's a good question. Closest to getting arrested. I got busted with weed in, like, high school and I had, like, a gas mask and the cops took it, but one of my friends took the blame and I was like, cool. So he went to jail.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have any special skills or talents of any kind? You good at anything?

[Clemente Villegas]

These are good questions.

[Tyler Fisher]

Saying all his ex girlfriends are crazy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You just keep saying that these are good questions and then you give a bad answers.

[Clemente Villegas]

I know, I know, I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, here's a little joke book. We'll keep it moving along. Oh, yeah. There he goes. Clemente Villegas. We're gonna get someone else up here. It's a little shell shock. How about a hand for the violinist? Isn't that amazing? Tonight? So lovely. I love it. I love it. Hell, yeah. Your next comedian. 60 seconds. Going to Alex Barboza, everybody. Alex Bar Barboza. Okay.

[Alex Barboza]

My tits are so small. When me and my husband fuck, he grabs his own tits. We just had to put my grandma in hospice. Sorry to ruin your fucking day, but I really just came down to the fact that we didn't want to spend all of our inheritance money on her dialysis. Fucking bitch was stealing all my Diet Coke. I told her, I'm like, karma is a real thing. And she said, you want to know what's real? Alex is stuck in a Nazi's dick to save your family. She likes the schnitzel.

[Karen Jones]

What can I say?

[Alex Barboza]

My mom's dating a black guy. I find it kind of suspicious that she keeps a separate Brit of water filter in the fridge for him. I'm like, mom, you can't filter Hennessy. Thank you all.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Alex Barboza, welcome to the show. This is your first time here, right?

[Alex Barboza]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. How long have you been doing stand up?

[Alex Barboza]

Eight months. Exactly. Today.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where at?

[Alex Barboza]

Melbourne, Florida.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Alex Barboza]

Yes, you are. I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my goodness. That's where Kim Congdon's from. Very good.

[Tyler Fisher]

I will have to tell you. Can I give her a piece of advice?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Of course.

[Tyler Fisher]

No one gives a when old people die. When you were like, sorry to ruin your day. My grandma's old. Everyone's like, cool, you know, it's gotta be like, someone younger to make it more exciting, I think.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, that would have killed during COVID actually. We suddenly gave a shit about old people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

People.

[Alex Barboza]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

For three years. We don't anymore. No one gives a anymore.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's true.

[Tyler Fisher]

Yeah. We're back to not.

[Joey Diaz]

I didn't get the vaccine. My pediatrician said I was too tiny. So I'm still. Still a little caught up on it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you. What do you do for work, Alex?

[Alex Barboza]

I work at supply chain at Blue Origin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is that?

[Alex Barboza]

I'm a supply chain analyst. So I enter data to procurement for them to process orders for.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Helena]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you're here in Austin for how long?

[Alex Barboza]

Until Thursday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Just coming out, doing stand up, trying to get spots.

[Alex Barboza]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. And when did you get here?

[Alex Barboza]

I got here last Thursday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What have you done for fun since you've been in Austin?

[Alex Barboza]

I've done 13 open. 13 open mics and shows together. Yeah, that's pretty much all I've done.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you're getting it done?

[Alex Barboza]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A lot more fun than Melbourne, Florida.

[Alex Barboza]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Joey Diaz]

Is this what straight women look like in Melbourne, Florida? Well, are you. You said you're married.

[Alex Barboza]

People do say I come off a little gay.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Tyler Fisher]

When it came out, I was like, jojo Siwas doing stand up?

[Alex Barboza]

No, I. I am married. To a man?

[Tyler Fisher]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have you been married?

[Alex Barboza]

We've been together for 10 years. Married for three.

[Tyler Fisher]

How long has he been trans?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does he do?

[Alex Barboza]

He works at the same company, but he paints the rockets.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, he sounds gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do for fun, Alex? Anything in particular other than stand up?

[Alex Barboza]

I do drifting.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

In a car.

[Alex Barboza]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like the Middle Eastern art form of.

[Alex Barboza]

Yeah, just without the brown skin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right, right. Same chest, different skin.

[Alex Barboza]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Joey Diaz]

You drift over to the pussy at all. Are you sure you're not a lesbian? This is what we're. This is the stock we're dealing with. It's hard to date, Jordan. This is. Imagine getting lectured about the patriarchy by a drifter. She's like, I'm out of here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Closest you've come to a lesbian experience anything?

[Alex Barboza]

I ate some Middle Eastern pussy, actually.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa. Oh, my goodness. Wow.

[Jordan Peterson]

I think she's the bluntest comedian I've heard for a long time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's good. It's good. What was the eating Middle Eastern like? Tell the people. How did you get the sand out of your teeth?

[Joey Diaz]

White sauce or red sauce?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A water picker. Floss. What was it like? What was your experience eating a Middle

[Alex Barboza]

Eastern p. If I'm being honest, guys, it tasted like shrimp curry. So that's. That's why I'm straight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's scarier than it was funny. Unbelievable. My goodness. Your mom is with a black guy?

[Alex Barboza]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have they been together?

[Alex Barboza]

About five years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was she only with white men before that, as far as you know?

[Alex Barboza]

Pretty much my father and a British black guy, but, yeah, that's it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A British black guy doesn't count. Now she's with an American black guy.

[Alex Barboza]

Yes. You.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Alex Barboza]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Different than the British black eye. Yeah. From super hot tea to Hennessy. That's what we call that right there. Amazing. And so that's basically your stepdad.

[Alex Barboza]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When you say now. Yeah. What do you mean?

[Alex Barboza]

He's a piece of garbage.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa. That's racist. Why is he a piece of garbage to you?

[Alex Barboza]

Because he's. He's. He cheats on my mom and he's a fucking asshole. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you know that he cheats on your mom? How do you guys know?

[Alex Barboza]

Well, me and my mom are really close. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Joey Diaz]

Good thing you're canceled already, Jordan. That's what I've been thinking of the whole time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you know that he's cheating on her?

[Alex Barboza]

Well, me and my mom have discussions about. I'm very close with her.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how does she know that he's cheating on her?

[Alex Barboza]

She had some girl come to her house and vandalize her car and try to break into the house and a lot of stuff like that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They saw her on video or something.

[Alex Barboza]

Yeah. She had to get a camera and report it to the police.

[Tyler Fisher]

She secretly scared. It's my mom. She just broke up with her black boyfriend.

[Helena]

You guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was this a. Was it a white woman? Black woman.

[Alex Barboza]

It was a white woman.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A little bit thick?

[Alex Barboza]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is your mom a little bit thick?

[Karen Jones]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, It's Florida, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh. Well, it's also. It's also a black stepdad, so that's how it goes.

[Jordan Peterson]

So why stand up for you?

[Alex Barboza]

So I've tried a lot of hobbies in my life, and I've never really found anything that I'm good at. And the first time I tried stand up, it honestly changed my life. It's what I imagine doing heroin is like.

[Jordan Peterson]

So what do you like about it?

[Alex Barboza]

I like the Rush that I feel after and the attention I get from people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, very honest answer. Unbelievably, I don't think we've ever actually had that answer. It's like the correct answer. That's actually the right answer. It took 11 years plus for us.

[Jordan Peterson]

You should run for all office.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You could probably win the Democratic nomination actually right now.

[Jordan Peterson]

Yeah, anyone could.

[Alex Barboza]

If only I was black. Sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Joey Diaz]

Whip it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right. We really need new black for you stepdad. Yeah. I love it. Well, Alec, a very, very fun, honest, real interview. I can't remember how the minute was, to be honest with you, but I liked your interview so much that I'm giving you a big joke book.

[Alex Barboza]

Thank you, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Congratulations. Made by the great bonsai Alex Barboza. All right, let's do something fun here, ladies and gentlemen. We have a golden ticket winner here, everybody. And what's up Exciting about this golden ticket winner is that this is his first time ever cashing in on his golden ticket. He was made one just three or four weeks ago. And this is his first appearance, his first new minute. He's only been on once before. This is the first ever golden ticket cash in from Jack Shaw, everybody. Here he is.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yeah. Recently, a homeless man called me a bitch. How did he know that about me? I'll tell you what happened. I was walking and I saw this homeless man in a wheelchair sweeping in front of his tent. And I was thinking to myself, oh, I guess he cares about his curb appeal. So I was looking at him. Cause it was interesting. And apparently I was looking too long. Cause all of a sudden he turned and he locked eyes with me. And I smiled because I was afraid. And then the homeless man stood up from the wheelchair. I couldn't believe was a fucking miracle. And he points at me and he says, you're a fucking bitch, McLovitt. This homeless piece of shit decided to make fun of me. And he was smoking crack out of a Lego, everybody. Thank you so much. I'm Jack Shaw.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jack Shaw. Very entertaining. Attacking a homeless man for 60 seconds. You got your revenge, Jordan. What do you think of the great Jack Shaw?

[Jordan Peterson]

Who's the character you're playing? Or is that actually you?

[Joey Diaz]

It's me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's me.

[Jordan Peterson]

When did you discover that and decide to capitalize on it?

[Joey Diaz]

The last time I was on this show,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep. Nervous. Nervous. Neurotic. What were you going to say there?

[Joey Diaz]

Are you a comedian?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Jordan Peterson]

Occasionally. Occasionally.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, God.

[Helena]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jack, you're so weird. You are such a weird dude. I love It. It's unbelievable. You make Larry David look like Michael Jordan. It's incredible. It is incredible.

[Luke Everett]

What is this?

[Tyler Fisher]

Is this like a vaccine gone wrong or what's going on?

[Joey Diaz]

That's what they said last time. It is that. I didn't mean that aggressively.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, that's.

[Tyler Fisher]

I don't think you could ever be aggressive.

[Cam Patterson]

No.

[Tyler Fisher]

Yeah. You look like if you had a movie, it'd be called Honey, I Shrunk the charisma.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, you bitch. Disney brings you non binary. Harry Potter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hairless Potter.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm starring in Harry Potter and the Missing Chromosome next year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Jack Shaw.

[Tyler Fisher]

It's like Rick Glassman's cum.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, Jack, you're how old again?

[Joey Diaz]

25.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

25 years old. And how long you been on stand up?

[Joey Diaz]

About three and a half years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Three and a half years. I love it. And what do you do for work?

[Joey Diaz]

Well, I used to teach traffic safety to kids, but then I quit that job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You quit?

[Joey Diaz]

I did. Wow.

[Jordan Peterson]

Did you lose any kids?

[Joey Diaz]

So many kids. We did this last episode.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old were the kids? How old were the kids?

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, about like five to 13. We lose everybody, dude. Everybody in between.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why would traffic school apply to little children? Is this your own business startup, Power Wheels or something like that?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, no, it's a family friend's business.

[Tyler Fisher]

Uh oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But explain to us the process of a children's traffic school.

[Joey Diaz]

So there's cars in the road and sometimes kids walk in front of those and you need to tell them not to do that.

[Tyler Fisher]

Oh, you're like.

[Jordan Peterson]

You like the elevator pitch for the business?

[Joey Diaz]

There's red lights and green lights and yellow lights. I like all three of them.

[Jordan Peterson]

He seems good at his job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Unbelievable. Seems like one of the kids. So it's just for bad parents, I guess that is correct. Amazing.

[Joey Diaz]

Did you get hit by a car and it's like a personal thing? You're just trying to pass the torch?

[Tyler Fisher]

Yes, dude, you would make a killing. Live streaming. They love autistic kids like this on Twitch.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He is twitching.

[Joey Diaz]

Do you have like a neurological thing or just you're just about to come all the time?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A lot of no.

[Joey Diaz]

People tell me I have a cummy vibe. Yeah, I love it, dude. I love it. I'm into it.

[Luke Everett]

I'm into it.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yes. You want a little bit of this,

[Alex Barboza]

Jack?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What else are you into? What do we not know about you?

[Ari Maddie]

Don't.

[Jordan Peterson]

Don't ask that.

[Joey Diaz]

You're like if Woody Allen couldn't get any ever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Woody Allen would have loved to run his own children's. Traffic school, by the way. You stay right here.

[Joey Diaz]

It'd be all Asians though. Make a lot of keep money on

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

who needs traffic school more than Asian children. Am I right, Jack? Tell us something we don't know about you that we didn't find out last time that you were on the show.

[Joey Diaz]

I masturbate a lot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well,

[Tyler Fisher]

no, he said something we didn't know about you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What? What's your masturbation process like, Jack?

[Joey Diaz]

Well, I make sure nobody is around

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

first of all, and then you pull out. What? What do you jerk off off to a tax form,

[Joey Diaz]

you racist son of a bitch? Because I'm Jewish. Okay?

[Tyler Fisher]

He's like, it's a coin actually.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I use lotion and. Oh yeah, I bet you do.

[Joey Diaz]

My neighbors hate it, dude. They hate when I masturbate. Cause they're always like, close the window.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And I'm like, what am I supposed

[Joey Diaz]

to masturbate to, dude?

[William Montgomery]

And so

[Joey Diaz]

did you take the lotion

[Jordan Peterson]

from a hole hotel?

[Joey Diaz]

What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

God,

[Jordan Peterson]

you went there?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh my God. Oh yeah, no, I know I got us into this, but what do you masturbate to in real life, Jack?

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, people on screen.

[Cam Patterson]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is there a specific thing that you've been typing in lately? Is there a fad that you're into right now, specifically?

[Joey Diaz]

I like porn stars because I like to know who I'm masturbating to. It's sort of a personal connection

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

that is frightening somehow. That's the scariest thing you've said all night. Amazing. Do you have a favorite porn star out there they might be watching right now?

[Joey Diaz]

Oh yes.

[Jordan Peterson]

Hiding. They're hiding.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You do?

[Joey Diaz]

Oh yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Uh huh. Who would it be, Jack? Name some names, drop some names.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, I like Sky Breed. I like. I feel like I'm like show and tell for porn stars. I like Sky Bree, and I like Lisa Ann, and I like Mariah Mills, and I like. My girlfriend's gonna hate this, dude. She hate this so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. These are kind of milfs that you're naming?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ah, very interesting. So you. There is something specific that you're into and it is the love of your mother. What does that mean? Jordan, you have a analysis on why a guy would be into milf? Specifically why someone would be into older women. Like, is there like a psychological reason for that? I don't know. I mean, maybe that's.

[Joey Diaz]

Do you smoke weed? Yeah.

[David Donic]

A lot?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep.

[Joey Diaz]

Are you attracted to your mom at all when you're high? No, just when I'm sober. Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Amazing. Jack, you are A wild boy. So how's LA treating you?

[Joey Diaz]

LA's been amazing, man. This show changed my life. Everybody give it up for Kill Toy. This is the best show on the planet.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They don't have to give it up.

[Joey Diaz]

Really?

[Jordan Peterson]

What changed?

[Joey Diaz]

Someone asked me to sign their tits. That guy was so fat. You sound like Kamala Harris, like, talking about the war in Ukraine. That's your speech pattern. I like this, I like that. I like tits. I like butt.

[Tyler Fisher]

He looks like he's gonna try to snipe her in a few months,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then we will truly be. If that happens, we will be unburdened by what has been. That is for sure. Jack, congratulations. Your first time cashing in on your golden ticket. A fantastic set, a fantastic interview. Thank you so much, everybody. This is the beginning of the saga of the young Jack Shaw. Back to the bucket we go. I do believe this is a famous character from our past. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a new minute from Karen Jones, everybody. Karen Jones. It is indeed that Karen Jones.

[Karen Jones]

How crazy was that? Watching Trump almost get killed, that was so insane. But I was distracted watching it by how stupid the Secret Service girls looked. I watched it and thought, they are so worthless. They're doing nothing. And then I thought, if only Trump would just grab them by the pussy and then hold them up and use them as human shields, they could have looked so cool. They could have shown us their girl power. But don't think that the government is feeling bad and is going to back down on going after Trump and the people who support him. They're still going after P. Diddy hard. You know they raided his house for being at the Capitol on January 6th. They did. They said that he was calling for an insurrection, going in and out of congressional offices. I was there. They're wrong. He was going in and out of congressional orifices saying, insert erection. He was framed.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The return of Karen Jones, Ladies and gentlemen, One of the wildest women in the history of the show famously stormed the Capitol. She did indeed. Actually, we've talked. She's been on multiple times before. She ended up by her appearance on Kill Tony, talking about storming the Capitol. Her local government came after, right? Yes, Allegedly on video and proven, over and over again. Her local government came after her because of the Kill Tony episode. So you actually sacrificed some stuff, sharing your story on the show. And, you know, I. What I love about this show is there's always different shapes and sizes of people. Karen Jones, clearly the type of lady that Jack Shaw would jerk off to.

[Karen Jones]

That's why I was thinking, listening, I thought, oh, no, he likes older women. He's going to jerk off. To me, it makes me very uncomfortable.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I was kidding. No one's jerking off you, Kara. No one in the world's jerking off you.

[Karen Jones]

And once again, just to be clear, I was being arrested and I was trying to come on the show because people that watch your show don't have a political bias for the most part. And I wanted to tell them some things. Red Band fact checked me on my first deal when I said no policemen were killed. So this was a way for me to, A, get some truth out, and B, get a new career as a standup comedian. It's a pretty fun thing to do, Jordan.

[Jordan Peterson]

It's a very unique crossover that you have happening there. You Americans are really quite deranged.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We are.

[Jordan Peterson]

No, seriously, Seriously.

[Karen Jones]

That scares me, coming from a psychologist. I mean, people call me crazy, but when you say I, it seems clinical.

[Jordan Peterson]

You have your upside. I would say a fair bit of courage.

[Karen Jones]

But anyway, yeah, it's been wild. And I've really been having to thread a needle here because my husband and I pled guilty on the day Trump was convicted.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You and Trump were both found guilty on the same day?

[Karen Jones]

Yes. And that's like. My family thinks that's wild. I just thought it was just another kind of crazy coincidence of the last. Last 66 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This bitch is nuts.

[Karen Jones]

I am not nuts. I can count backward by seven.

[Jordan Peterson]

Try that. Joe Biden.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. But, Karen, you are definitely very political. One of the more political people in the history of the show here. So tell us, what do you think about Kamala Harris being the supposed new Democratic candidate for the United States of America?

[Karen Jones]

Well, remember, I'm from California, so I was there as she first penetrated politics, or was penetrated, I should say. Willie Brown was our speaker of the House. And she's very good at knowing who to sleep with. She is excellent. And that's a certain kind of smart, but she is. It is. She has screwed her way into maybe the presidency and hats off.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, she's amazing.

[Joey Diaz]

What a patriot. What a strong patriot. Now she's a great storm. The Capitol, right? Look at that.

[Karen Jones]

And I didn't storm. I walked in and I'm really a rule abiding person. And before we went to the Capitol, we were at the back, the blue rallies every Saturday in front of the vet hall. You know, we're squares, so a lot more is gonna come out. The truth will be known someday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like what? What kind of truth? Tell us more.

[Karen Jones]

Well, this is where it gets tricky, because I had to swear under penalty of perjury that I knowingly entered the Capitol illegally because it's against the law to air your grievances at the Capitol, apparently. And I now know that. I didn't know that at the time, but apparently you can't go to a permitted event at a Capitol at a public building to air your grievances. But I do understand that now. But as part of the plea deal, I also had to say that I knew Mike Pence was in the building. Yeah, I could care less about that guy. I went in at 3:02, and according to news reports, you know, they had all, like, went out a tunnel or something. But I just went in to show my husband the Rotunda. He had really never been in the Capitol before.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You were just given a little tour?

[Karen Jones]

I was. We were tourists, and I have been so many times. I've been there a few times, including as a chaperone. I'm a very popular chaperone with my kids, with other parents. And my husband was just such an eager beaver. He was like. I was seeing all the other tourists come out and was so happy. I said, do you want to go in, honey? And he's like, yeah. And we went in there, and then next thing you know, we were trapped, gassed, hit all this stuff. But me rioting, is this

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

what is going on over.

[Karen Jones]

It is. I didn't want to be hurt.

[Joey Diaz]

Making Karen's great again. That's what we're doing. Karen's.

[Jordan Peterson]

How did you get so tough?

[Karen Jones]

Oh, that's actually a good question. No, it is.

[Joey Diaz]

Your husband was trying to have you killed that day.

[Karen Jones]

No, my husband's a sweetie pie. We are opposites. He grew up on a flower ranch. I grew up on an oil field. I had a tough upbringing. Lot of violence. I was sexually molested by a relative.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sexually molested.

[Karen Jones]

And when I told, they said I was a liar. And then 10 years later, the guy gets arrested for molesting the whole dang neighborhood and goes to jail. Like I told you. I told you. And they're like, you didn't tell us.

[Joey Diaz]

Nobody would molest somebody this chatty. I'd say that.

[Karen Jones]

Well, that's what they thought. That's probably why they didn't believe me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did he really try to molest you, or was he just.

[Joey Diaz]

No, he's not.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your rotunda. No.

[Karen Jones]

If I told you about the molestation, it would like it was. It involved comedy. He pinned me in a corner, stuck his hand down my pants, and started Using words I had never heard before because this is like 1960. No, I heard shut up a lot. No, he was telling me a thing called a Johnny Fucker faster joke. And I'm like, this is creepy. I do not like my grandma's new husband. And so anyway, I. Wow. I squirmed away and walked in aunt's house.

[Tyler Fisher]

And you squirted away.

[Jordan Peterson]

Never let a psychologist ask a question.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah. This is wild. Karen, you're always such an amazing interview.

[Karen Jones]

I didn't get to the tough part yet, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay, let's go.

[Karen Jones]

So then I find myself what would now be called a gang sexual assault. But back when it happened to me, it was called getting drunk in the wrong place. And I was pregnant 15, and had my first child in the Salvation Army. So my parents.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, wait, wait. When you say you had a child in the South Asian army, what exactly does that mean?

[Tyler Fisher]

That means I was not outfit in the Salvation Army.

[Karen Jones]

No, I just, I. At that time, yeah, Salvation Army. And we had officers that worked there. I lived in a group home, a Booth memorial home run by the Salvation army in Oakland, California. I got my ged, I went to school, I got my shit together, met the greatest guy, got married, had two more kids, blah, blah, blah. Y', all, my life is wonderful. Everything that's ever happened in my life has made me a better person. I'm optimistic. I love my life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Isn't that the real American way? Karen, you did it again. You already have a big choke book, right? I do.

[Karen Jones]

I treasure it.

[William Montgomery]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely.

[Karen Jones]

Forever. How exciting to get to see Jordan Peterson on the night stand next to my bed. 12 rules for life. I go over it with my grandchildren that I'm helping to raise. You're a wonderful man. This is great. You're all great. I love you all.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Karen Jones, everybody. Isn't that special? Isn't that fun? All right, I pulled another name out of the bucket. 60 seconds uninterrupted, going to David. David Donic, everybody. We're gonna meet David all together. Here we go.

[David Donic]

David Donnick. It's nice to meet you all, man. I'm a teacher right now. It's a good time. I hate these bitch ass kids. So let's dial it back. I taught a senior seminar class this year where we help kids figure out where they want to go when they graduate. I'm teaching one day, a girl has a question. I go over to her, she's like, I have a question. And I'm like, what's up, big pimp? I don't remember their names all the time. I go up to her and she's like, Mr. Dyke, I'm trying to go to a music school. Any suggestions? Yes, my girlfriend went to a music school, which she studied classical saxophone. You could go here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here.

[David Donic]

As soon as I said my girlfriend, her and all the other kids at the table just squinted their eyes and tilted their heads at me. I was like, what the fuck are we looking at right now, team? Finally, one kid broke and he goes, I'm sorry, Mr. Donic, we thought Yass was gay this whole time. I walk away. Out of the corner of my eye, one kid just slides another kid a five dollar bill at the table. I was like, dude, betting on my sexuality is a lot like betting on the Texans right now. Because it's a risk, but I'll cover the spread.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, so you're not gay. You're not gay. You are gay.

[David Donic]

Not gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not gay. Okay. Don't worry. I deal with the same problem all the time. I love it.

[Jordan Peterson]

You owe me five bucks.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

David, welcome to the show. How long you been on Stand up.

[Clemente Villegas]

Thank you.

[David Donic]

It's nice to meet you all. I've been doing it for about five years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Five years? Where at?

[David Donic]

Chicago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Chicago, Illinois. And what brings you to Austin, Texas?

[David Donic]

Professional development for work.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what is it?

[David Donic]

Professional development for work.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does that mean exactly?

[David Donic]

I sit in a room with a bunch of teachers and they just be yapping and I'm on my phone. It's really what it is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Tyler Fisher]

That's why our schools are learning.

[David Donic]

We are learning how to be a better International baccalaureate school. So basically how to kind of align everything and what we teach and how

[Jordan Peterson]

we teach it and why aren't the courses any good?

[David Donic]

A lot of teacher turnover. People don't want to work. You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Oh, sorry.

[Jordan Peterson]

They're on their phones.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Teacher turnover. All right.

[Jordan Peterson]

Starting that up for a little fantasy later.

[David Donic]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, you know what I jerk off to. So, David, Chicago. Duane. Teacher. What exactly are you teaching?

[David Donic]

I teach English.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

English.

[David Donic]

High school. High school English.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Is it in Chicago? Is it the south side?

[David Donic]

It is, yeah. Is the south side.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So that's a tough subject to teach.

[David Donic]

It's a fun time. Yeah. Shakespeare is hard to teach, but we make it work, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. So it's mostly black students.

[David Donic]

We have like one Eminem, but, you know, we don't talk about until the album drops.

[Tyler Fisher]

That's the candy they all split.

[David Donic]

Yeah, he sells me the candy, man. It's good, actually. We have a lot of Venezuelan migrants now, too, because. Thanks. Abbott or what's his name here. I don't know now. The governor.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. We send some buses up there, huh? Yeah.

[David Donic]

It really pushes the boundaries of my basic white guy Spanish, right? Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what's it like dealing with these types of kids,

[Joey Diaz]

brother?

[David Donic]

No, they're good kids. I actually. I'm very humbled. I won coolest teacher of the year this year. At the end of the year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa.

[David Donic]

It was dope. I know. Thank you, man. I won.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Imagine how uncool the other kids teachers are.

[David Donic]

Well, I only won because I joined every gang in the building, so I'm now a King Crip disciple.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. What else do you do with your life, David?

[David Donic]

Stand up? I uber. Ubering is pretty not fun. I don't know. Your Ubers are weird here, man. They don't talk as much as they do in Chicago.

[Joey Diaz]

They don't speak English.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No.

[David Donic]

Yeah, it's weird, but yeah, I uber. I teach. I do comedy, play a lot of video games. Been playing Fortnite recently. That's a time suck. I'm so bad. Do you play video games?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, but Good question.

[David Donic]

I don't know. You could have had a crazy system set up, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, I don't let myself play video games, but my friends did buy me a Mario Kart setup for my 40th birthday because. Congrats. Can I.

[David Donic]

How come you don't let yourself play video games?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because I. I would just end up being mediocre at comedy if I did that.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I would play them all the time and I would never professionally develop.

[David Donic]

Yeah, you know, I'd be.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's the equivalent of being on your phone when you could be developing. You're an inspiration. Thank you. David, give us a tidbit about your life that we would find surprising. Something that makes you different than everybody else.

[David Donic]

Something makes me different. I. I'm a little bit of the breadwinner in my family. My. My dad passed away when I was 12. Bread. I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did he pass away?

[David Donic]

Yeah, he had a sudden heart attack. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

He saw his accident.

[David Donic]

Yeah, he did. He was funnier than me. And he was like, I can't be in this world. Yeah, he. He passed away. So I take care of my mom, my younger brother. So.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Amazing. So you're supporting everybody.

[David Donic]

I have to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's why you're ubering, teaching and doing stand up and playing video games.

[David Donic]

Gotta fit it in there, you know,

[Tyler Fisher]

you pick four jobs that pay the equivalent of half a job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Incredible.

[David Donic]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The four lowest paying jobs imaginable. Amazing. What's your love life like, David? You have a girlfriend?

[David Donic]

I do, yes. Love her very much. Been together for two years now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nice. What does she do?

[David Donic]

She is also a teacher. She teaches middle school music. She teaches kids how to, you know, play music, basically, yeah. She's a really talented saxophonist too, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really talented. What?

[David Donic]

Saxophone.

[Luke Everett]

Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is not what sex God is. That's what I talk to. That's. It was almost exciting there.

[David Donic]

Yeah, My bad. Sorry, team.

[Jordan Peterson]

So why stand up?

[David Donic]

Why stand up? I did performance for a long time. Part of the way. I kind of dealt with my dad dying in high school. I did speech and debate. That was a really cool outlet. I had a lot of, you know, male teachers who were kind of there for me. Maybe I was groomed, I don't know. But they, you know, of kind kind of put me in the performance direction, which was cool. So I like it. I like making.

[Joey Diaz]

When you go down on your girlfriend, does she make you put a read in her?

[David Donic]

She does. She does, yeah. That's my special move. That's the finisher, actually.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Do you have any special moves in the bedroom?

[David Donic]

Get there and hope it's really it.

[Tyler Fisher]

You look like you play EDM music while you.

[David Donic]

Edm. Whoa. I don't know, maybe on Christmas I

[Joey Diaz]

would, but when he's talking to the clit. Where are you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm so low I cannot dream I cannot sleep tonight David, congratulations, you made it on Kill. Tony, here's a little joke book. We'll see you next time. Come back again.

[David Donic]

Thank you. Appreciate it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

David Donek, ladies and gentlemen. We've made it to another one of our regulars, everybody. The boy is a fucking sensation. An absolute superstar doing it. Living the American dream, ladies and gentlemen. Make some noise for the one and only Cam Patterson, everybody.

[Cam Patterson]

I like immigrants. Y' all see how fast our claps changed? Y' all didn't like that at all? Don't say that, Cam. That's fucked. I like em. I like em a lot. I like em. If you leave your country to come here for a better life, I think that's cool. It don't bother me. It don't really bother me at all. I don't even care if you don't speak English.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Real shit.

[Cam Patterson]

It doesn't bother me until it does. Now, I was in Walmart a couple days ago and I was looking for candles and I seen a lady working at Walmart and I said, how you doing, ma'? Am? I would like to find these Candles. And she went, me not speak no English. That's how I do the accent. Fuck y'. All right. Me not speak English. And I said, oh, that's okay. And then she went, say it into my phone now. Y' all don't know what the fuck I'm saying right now. Anyway, so you know, Siri has no idea what the fuck I say anytime. So I went, candles. And the phone went, what? And I went, candles. And the phone went, what, nigga? So she took the phone back and was like, just spell it. And then I just went, fuck.

[Joey Diaz]

God damn it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How did we get here?

[Cam Patterson]

I've been carried. Thank y' all so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Bing bong. You've done it again. Absolutely electric from the very beginning, all the way through. Energetic, smiling, contagious laughter. Keeping the momentum throughout your entire 60 second set. Somehow you managed to do it every single week.

[Cam Patterson]

That was fun. Yeah, I liked it. That one. That was cool. That was cool as.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep. Hell yeah. We just had your old teacher on a second ago. He taught you well. You speak good English.

[Cam Patterson]

I do speak great English. I be really good English.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not good enough for Siri to know what you're saying, but good enough to get by.

[Cam Patterson]

Most people don't get what I've been saying. I this whole time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's perfect.

[Cam Patterson]

All they hear, rider, rider, rider, rider, rider, rider, rider, rider, rider, rider. How the does his hat stay on? That's all they think this whole time. That was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was my next question. How the hell does he do it? How did you know? That was my next question. Like a clipped on or something.

[Joey Diaz]

Like a black man's yamaka. Black Ben Shapiro.

[Cam Patterson]

Magic. Magic. I'm magic as that is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is truly.

[Cam Patterson]

What's up, therapist nigga.

[Frank Trandicosta]

You good?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

Good to meet you. So locked in.

[Joey Diaz]

I am wondering about the hat, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is amazing. It is a work of art. This is a new thing. The hat hanging off the back of the head.

[Cam Patterson]

Nah, I've been doing this with my hair growing and so I'm just. You know what I'm saying?

[Joey Diaz]

Just growing around it.

[Cam Patterson]

I go to sleep with it on.

[Jordan Peterson]

On.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, real shit. Sleep. Get. Get a good night's sleep.

[Joey Diaz]

I be sleeping real good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, I think Kamala Harris would make you vp, cuz you're the only person I can understand less than her when you talk, man.

[Ari Maddie]

For real.

[Cam Patterson]

She don't speak good.

[Joey Diaz]

She doesn't speak English. No, for real. No.

[Cam Patterson]

I ain't never heard her speak before. I don't pay too much attention to politics. Recently, the Trump did good at the. Then Donald Trump Jr. Reposted me on Instagram, and my mama called me and said, do not vote for that nigga.

[David Donic]

Yeah,

[Cam Patterson]

she called me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do not do it right now. You're going to.

[Cam Patterson]

I don't have my ballot, brother. It's at her house.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Cam, were you on the road this weekend?

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah, I was in Nashville.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Hell, yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

It was great. I love Nashville. That's why I had nothing to on it. I usually. On every city I go to, Nashville is pretty dope.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No doubt about it. 1. I like it a lot. Cities. Hell, yeah. Absolutely. Wait, we went there together, right? We did a crazy night. Yeah. So much fun. Have you done the. You've done the rhyme in Jordan? Yeah. Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

Amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfectly built venue. One of the oldest American treasures.

[Cam Patterson]

It's beautiful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Acoustically perfect. Built kind of like a church. Church around. It's perfect.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah.

[Jordan Peterson]

The audience sang me happy birthday there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my goodness.

[Jordan Peterson]

Yeah, that was a good deal. And it was. It was like my birthday and everything.

[Cam Patterson]

His voice kind of scares me a little bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It has that effect on a lot of people.

[Cam Patterson]

I don't know why. It terrifies me. It seemed like a horror movie voice. That's terrifying. It's, like, too soothing. That's not cool. Cool, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Too soothing.

[Joey Diaz]

Strange.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Cam, what else is going on? Anything else, man?

[Joey Diaz]

I just.

[Cam Patterson]

I just bought a new car today.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa. Oh, my goodness. Hell, yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

What did you say?

[Joey Diaz]

Who understood?

[Cam Patterson]

What?

[Joey Diaz]

That I got a new car.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, congrats. What kind of car did you get?

[Cam Patterson]

A brand new 23,003 Acura.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

2003.

[Joey Diaz]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's got an actual key and everything. Real.

[Cam Patterson]

My last vehicle was a bike, so I'm happy, having a good time.

[Joey Diaz]

But he learned from that autistic comic how to drive, so heads up, dude.

[Cam Patterson]

I didn't see that, but okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. A 2003. What made you go. So you're doing so well. Are selling out everywhere. You're adding shows, you're hitting bonuses. You. You're wildly successful. You have a great manager, great agent. You're a part of a promotional machine. You're a theater act, you're selling out comedy clubs. Far ahead of the curve. What made you go with a 2003, by the way? If you didn't notice? He. He. He started to say 20 when he was mentioning the year, but you can't say 203, so he had to go back 20. 20. It's a 20. It's a 2003. What made you go 2003 Acura.

[Joey Diaz]

Only one with the windows down, huh?

[Cam Patterson]

You said what?

[Joey Diaz]

It was the only one with the windows down.

[Cam Patterson]

I don't steal cars. No money. I'm doing great.

[Joey Diaz]

You get fun of a black guy when you have resting January 6th.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Face, I'm trying.

[Cam Patterson]

Nah, it was. I mean, I'm never. I'm never really here. And I want some shit to, like, ride around there. Plus, like, if I get that bitch scratched up or something, it's already up already. I don't care. You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How much was it, though?

[Cam Patterson]

$4,000.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my. You got nothing to lose, huh? You got nothing to lose.

[Cam Patterson]

Nothing to lose. I can blow that up right now and still be happy. Yeah, I'm cool, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that's incredible. Amazing stuff.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yeah.

[Jordan Peterson]

When did you find out you were funny?

[Cam Patterson]

Oh, no, I was small. I was young. I was real little. I used to bite people all the time. People would laugh.

[Joey Diaz]

Bite?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Cam Patterson]

I wasn't even talking. I was just biting the shit out of my cousin. They were like, that nigga retarded. He better find something quick.

[Tyler Fisher]

Do you have an Audi Belly Button?

[Cam Patterson]

No, I got an Indie. I want one of those. I'm not that bad. All right.

[Tyler Fisher]

Kids that bite, they have outies.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah, niggas don't make out the hood with Addie Belly. But Buttons. All right, Them true. Them still there, brother.

[Karen Jones]

It's true.

[Cam Patterson]

Anything with Al Bel Button that is

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

in prison, brother doesn't have an out. It's not an Audi. It's an Acura 2003. Cam, you did it again. Somehow you do it every week. I think it's one of the most interesting things to see in all of standup comedy. You. No other show do you get to watch somebody's growth or their and sustainability other than kill Tony. And you are just a perfect specimen. Every week, you're doing it with energy, with writing, performing. Cam Patterson, ladies and gentlemen. We found him out of the bucket, just like we're about to do right now. Anything can happen. This is a brand new minute. We're going to meet them all together. Make some noise for Brandon Ferris, everyone. Brandon Farris.

[Brandon Ferris]

Clearly, I'm going through a midlife crisis because I matched everything purple. I recently shaved my beard because I got tired of being called Fred Durst on a steady diet of hot dog water. Now I look like a Nickelodeon producer. Now I have a mustache, so every time I go near a park, I get reported on, like, the Facebook neighborhood page. It's okay. I'm with my kids, I'm a dad. Hopefully it's believable if you have multiple kids. It's kind of like having a backup plan in case one of them is dumb. Give you an example. We asked my oldest what the capital of Texas was. She goes, dallas. Dumb. So then we asked my youngest, she's seven, and go, hey, Mikayla, what's the capital of Texas? She goes, t. It's actually pretty smart. And those of you who don't get it, you're the dumb one in your family. Hate to point out to you. Thank you. My name's Brandon Farris.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Brandon Farris, welcome to the show. Brandon, how long you been doing stand up?

[Brandon Ferris]

This month is a year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A year.

[Brandon Ferris]

And today's my birthday and happy birthday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Unbelievable.

[Brandon Ferris]

A big fan of the show and just. I envisioned this today. I told my friend I'm gonna be on today.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, are you really crying? Oh, my God, you're adorable. I thought you were kidding for a second. Aww. This is so, so sweet.

[Jordan Peterson]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Give him a hug. Give him a hug. Oh, my goodness. This is the most adorable thing. Face that way, Brandon. Let him see you. This is amazing. Somehow this turned into a jelly roll acceptance speech. This is unbelievable. Wow. Why?

[Jordan Peterson]

Why does it mean so much to you? Why does it mean so much to you?

[Brandon Ferris]

I lost my dad to Alzheimer's a couple years ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Amazing. Yes. Please keep that violin going. Amazing. And tell us what else. Why else is this important to you? You lost your dad to Alzheimer's?

[Brandon Ferris]

I just really love comedy and I've been afraid to do it. And I've been at it for a year this month. It actually marks a year on the 31st. And was a fan of the show. I saw you at the Vulcan doing a thing with Friends of Rogan. And. And that was the first time I saw you. And I was like, I am stupid for not watching you sooner.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right?

[Brandon Ferris]

But, man. And then Kim, and this is a lot of. A lot of you guys.

[Joey Diaz]

Tyler, the guy that looks like Zach Galifianak as fuck Macaulay Culkin, whoever he is. We could be like a Chris Farley, David Spade. We can team up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brandon Ferris]

Damn it, Tyler.

[Jordan Peterson]

When you have to like someone so much and.

[Joey Diaz]

And then on him.

[Brandon Ferris]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're so likable, Brandon. It is incredible. You came up for only a year of experience. The midlife crisis thing. From the beginning. Self deprecation to get laughs. Instead of coming out and trying to be cool or anything like that. Like, you just. You kind of get it already. It seems where have you been doing this year of standup comedy?

[Brandon Ferris]

Just all in Austin area.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is where you live?

[Brandon Ferris]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Where are you originally from?

[Brandon Ferris]

From California, unfortunately.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

California. What part?

[Brandon Ferris]

Fresno.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, that is unfortunate. Indeed. And when did you move to Austin?

[Brandon Ferris]

Once I knew Kevin Federline set the bar for fame. So I was like, I got a shot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, what?

[Brandon Ferris]

I'm sorry, Kevin. That's terrible.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Kevin Federline moved.

[Brandon Ferris]

Kevin?

[Cam Patterson]

No.

[Brandon Ferris]

Kevin Federline's like the most famous person that people know from Fresno.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Unfortunately, nobody knows that exactly. In the world. You just made that famous.

[Jordan Peterson]

Us.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're like right now.

[Brandon Ferris]

Sorry about that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Joey Diaz]

You're more like Federman the politician.

[Tyler Fisher]

You look like Barney and human face.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's true. And I love you and you love me and we're a happy family.

[Joey Diaz]

I thought George W. Bush got fat for a second.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, George W. Tush over here.

[Helena]

I might run.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. Brandon, what do you do for a living?

[Brandon Ferris]

I work at Apple.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Apple?

[David Donic]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The company. Wow.

[Brandon Ferris]

Not anymore, probably.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, seems like it. I would have guessed. Yeah. So what do you do at Apple?

[Brandon Ferris]

I actually can't talk about it, unfortunately.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That makes sense.

[Tyler Fisher]

He watches you.

[Brandon Ferris]

Yeah, it's a new program we rolled out. Sorry. The new beta. The AI part.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Brandon Ferris]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do for fun in Austin, Texas? Tell us about it.

[Brandon Ferris]

I have my kids stay busy with that. The movie stuff, usually.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many kids?

[Brandon Ferris]

Two.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old are they?

[Brandon Ferris]

Ten and seven.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ten and seven?

[Brandon Ferris]

Yeah. My oldest has actually done comedy too, which is kind of cool. So from this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really? Has she done it? Yeah, like open mic.

[Brandon Ferris]

Yeah, I brought her to 6th street like a good dad should, but. And she did a mic that was like, right, right over here and wrote her own jokes and roasted me. So she's going to be a roast comic like you, unfortunately.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's adorable. A 10 year old girl. That's fantastic. You got to teach him young. Amazing. And what the Was I just going to ask you. It was good too. Hell yeah. Other than. Oh, yes. Are you still with the baby mama? Yeah.

[Brandon Ferris]

Yeah. My wife and I, we've been married for 14 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Lovely. What does she do?

[Brandon Ferris]

She works at a bank.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She works at a bank.

[Brandon Ferris]

Just a boring family, unfortunately.

[Jordan Peterson]

I'm sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's fine.

[Tyler Fisher]

But yeah, y' all got money?

[Brandon Ferris]

Try to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was your dad a funny guy? I mean, not at the end, obviously.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, that's when it gets funny, actually. Look at Biden, man. It gets funny. Gets funny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brandon Ferris]

So we'd go to like Applebee's and we play a Game called the penis game. We're not Catholic. Not like that, but it was. He would. He would just, like, see who yells penis the loudest stuff like that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, what? Don't, don't, don't.

[Tyler Fisher]

Penis game.

[Jordan Peterson]

Do that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, no, wait. You go to Applebee's and would do what?

[Brandon Ferris]

He'd yell penis. And just to embarrass us, he would just try and yell it loudest. So it's like someone just would start it and it gets progressively louder while you're in, like, a Applebee's, preferably.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. And how long ago did he pass away? How long did he go to the Great Applebee's? Upstairs, I'm watching Jordan under notice how dark my sense of humor is all at once here.

[Jordan Peterson]

I'm thinking about moving to a different chair.

[Brandon Ferris]

My dad's here in spirit.

[Jordan Peterson]

He loves it.

[Joey Diaz]

Jordan's rethinking his free speech stance altogether right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was that hard, though? I mean, Alzheimer's is a terrible.

[Brandon Ferris]

Yeah, it sucks because you lose them before they're gone. And I've been able to. I did, like, a charity show last month on the Longest day, which is June 20th every year. So I was able to put on a comedy show for the first time and had some people that work here on the show. It's really fun. It was a good time to raise awareness and just have a night celebrate terrible disease.

[Jordan Peterson]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah. Awesome. Never forget, that's what I always say. I mean, if we forget about Alzheimer's, imagine.

[Brandon Ferris]

What am I doing here again.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, right, Brandon, you're only a year in. I just love your likable energy. Here's a big joke. Book buddy. You did it. A true Kill Tony debut for Brandon Ferris. Everyone sign up. Let's see another minute soon. Brandon. There he goes. Brandon Ferris. We're going to keep it moving along. You guys still having fun out there? All right, make some noise for your next comedian. Luke Everett, everyone. Here we go. Luke Everett with 60 seconds. Make some noise for Luke, everybody. Come on. Oh, thank you.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you. I appreciate it.

[Luke Everett]

Guys, I've been dating. I actually went on a date with a virgin, which is crazy. I didn't know whether I should try to have sex with her or sacrifice her, but I knew I was gonna have blood on my hands either way. She actually gave me a nice compliment. She said that I had a nice. And she followed that up with, you have a nice penis. But it's not the biggest penis I've ever seen. And I'm all about reciprocity, so I Gave her a compliment right back. I was like, you have a very nice vagina. In fact, it's the biggest vagina I've ever seen. It's really big. I was nervous the first time we had sex because I thought I was gonna fall in into some type of bizarro world where I have a huge cock and you're not a bitch

[Joey Diaz]

now.

[Luke Everett]

I hate when you're dating a girl and she brings up how badly her ex boyfriend treated her. That really pisses me off. Cause I'm like, I could have been treating you like shit this entire time. Let you meet my mom. My. My ex girlfriend made me quit. Is that my time?

[David Donic]

All right, guys, that's my time.

[Luke Everett]

Thank you. I appreciate it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the hell was that? Have you ever seen the show before?

[Luke Everett]

Have you? Briefly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, I mean, but you kind of know how it works. It's an interesting thing. Again, you very rarely said the cat noises go. How does this work?

[Jordan Peterson]

It was the alarm cat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. It's very, very interesting, your reaction there. You want to finish the joke?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Luke Everett]

I was going to say my ex girlfriend made me quit drinking. She said it made me too honest. She would always ask me, does this dress make me look fat? I'd be like, no. But I do hate your mother. So we are on a permanent break now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was your time. Yeah. Luke, how long you been doing stand up?

[Luke Everett]

Four years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where at?

[Luke Everett]

Chicago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow. A lot of Chicagoans coming to a real place. What do you do for work?

[Luke Everett]

I work in finance.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, God, so boring, these jobs today. What do you do exactly in finance?

[Luke Everett]

Basically just a low level associate. Push paper, get deals to the finish line, that type of thing.

[Tyler Fisher]

Oh, God, you're so white.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Clemente Villegas]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's incredible. Surprisingly, out of all the bucket polls, this is not the one that stormed the Capitol. Amazing, Luke. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Looks like you're understudying for Tucker Carlson.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. What do you do for fun, Luke? What are you into?

[Luke Everett]

I like to go out on the weekends. I try to stay fit, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When you say go out on the weekends, what exactly do you mean? Like, what types of things do you do?

[Luke Everett]

Go to bars, have a good time, check out this city.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do at the bars?

[Luke Everett]

Get drunk.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, what do you like to drink?

[Luke Everett]

I've been drinking a lot of beer lately, but I used to be more of like a martini man back in Chicago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A martini man? Yeah. Okay. All right.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm teeny.

[Luke Everett]

Hey, Dr. Peterson, how are you doing? I'm doing well.

[Jordan Peterson]

I'm sitting here thinking just how much can you drink?

[Luke Everett]

Drink a lot.

[Jordan Peterson]

How much? Come on, tell me. I'll compare it to Northern Albertan standards.

[Luke Everett]

Like how many, how many, how many double martinis? I probably could put away six.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Jordan Peterson]

Nah, I could do that when I was 14.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's the craziest thing you've ever done after a night of pounding martinis in Chicago? Like what's like a wild night in the eyes of Luke Everett?

[Luke Everett]

I was in a fraternity. I went to a conference once, and after a night of tequila, it wasn't martinis, but it was tequila. I woke up in a bush in Lincoln Park.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that's amazing.

[Tyler Fisher]

It was next to a dumpster where he just fingered a girl.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that true that you went out with a virgin? Is that a made up premise or No?

[Luke Everett]

I, I, I have had sex with two virgins.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that's just creepy. Where are you finding these virgins as?

[Joey Diaz]

Did they know it was happening? Of course. That's why they had a bush. That's why I woke up in a bush.

[Jordan Peterson]

Yeah,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

they probably think they were having sex with a virgin too.

[Luke Everett]

In one occasion, yes.

[Karen Jones]

Uh huh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Uh huh. Okay. You have a girlfriend now?

[Luke Everett]

I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where'd you meet her?

[Luke Everett]

Chicago, actually on a trip out here. We were looking for places to live.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You said two places at once just then.

[Luke Everett]

Well, we met out here. Brought our love back to Chicago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She lived in Chicago and you met her out here?

[Luke Everett]

Yeah, we met on a trip out here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How did you meet out here?

[Luke Everett]

Well, she is the sister of my buddy's girlfriend and him and I were coming out here. His girlfriend came out. She came out too. We met.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

When are you gonna come out?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, why don't you just cut out the middleman and start fucking your buddy? That's what it sounds like. Seems like this is where this is going. Luke, what's something that would surprise us about your life? You seem like a very, very, very white guy. Is of kind. Kim said. What do you think's the most black thing about you?

[Luke Everett]

Like in an African American sense or like dark?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's go, let's go African American. We could go both. Yeah, let's do both.

[Joey Diaz]

He looks like he says the N word more than Cam Patterson.

[Luke Everett]

Only on Fridays. Only on Fridays. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's the most African American thing about you, Luke?

[Luke Everett]

I have a decent sized penis.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that's amazing. Terrible for a guy that loves fucking virgins, but good for you pushing deals across the line. Okay, what's the most Asian thing about you Luke,

[Luke Everett]

My math skills.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, absolutely. Incredibly racist.

[Joey Diaz]

Do you measure your dick in millimeters? Is that why it's so big? 200 millimeters.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. What does your girlfriend do?

[Luke Everett]

She works in marketing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Man. Everybody, tonight it's just finance. Marketing. Boring ass. Shit is incredible.

[Tyler Fisher]

What about your parents?

[Luke Everett]

My parents are doctors.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ooh, what kind of doctors?

[Luke Everett]

Psychologist and a physicist.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Tyler Fisher]

There it is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Are they. Are they proud of you?

[Luke Everett]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No. How about when they see that sweet swinging? All right. Well, Luke, congratulations. You got pulled out of the bucket. Fun times when you go back to Chicago?

[Luke Everett]

I live here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you live here. Congratulations. Here's his little joke book.

[Luke Everett]

Thank you. Thanks, guys.

[Helena]

Appreciate it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Luke Everett, everybody, now. All right, we're getting there. This looks. Looks like a fun name. Looks like a new name makes some noise for Frank Trandicosta. Trandicosta.

[Frank Trandicosta]

How you guys doing? Yeah, cool. I just like asking that question, you know, like, how you doing? Cause most people will answer and they'll be like, I'm doing good, man. How are you? And I get to tell them, like, I'm doing great. So they like, no, I'm a better person than they. I'm not. I'm just. I'm not a better person. I'm just Asian. My mom's from Korea. She was adopted here when she was a baby. She was adopted because she was abandoned. She was abandoned because she sucks. Yeah. I don't know what you know about Asians. We don't waste time on babies that suck or anything. We just throw them away or turn them into soup or something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know.

[Frank Trandicosta]

People ask me all the time, too. They're like, are you North Korean or South Korean? And I'm like, you know, how you know I'm South Korean? I look like I just ate three North Koreans, man. I'm packing heat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Thank you.

[Joey Diaz]

That's why.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, There you go. 50 seconds from Frank Trandicosta. Thank you, sir. Oh, yeah. Jordan, what do you think about this guy?

[Jordan Peterson]

I think he dresses from the shop in my hometown in northern Alberta.

[Ari Maddie]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is. What ethnicity are you? I cannot wrap my head around it. So Korean.

[Frank Trandicosta]

South Korean.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

South Korean, Yeah.

[Frank Trandicosta]

And then my dad was Sicilian.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sicilian.

[Tyler Fisher]

I think he's Mexican with a concussion.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's what it seems like.

[Joey Diaz]

Do you eat spaghetti with chopsticks?

[Frank Trandicosta]

No, no, I just.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yes. Sorry.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Totally.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You said your dad was Sicilian.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yeah, he was a junkie. So. So he's, you know, sober now. He's gone.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. He's sober and gone.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yeah. Four years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Four years.

[Frank Trandicosta]

What, sober and gone?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sober and gone.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So was he a better father when he was on drugs?

[Frank Trandicosta]

He was a cooler dad, for sure. He was very cool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So he was in your on drugs, and then he got sober. He's like, I gotta get my shit together. Get away from this son of mine.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Nah, he was never not on drugs. He actually was the first person to give me heroin. Heroin. So that was pretty. He told me it was coke. In his defense.

[Jordan Peterson]

Oh, hell, that.

[Brandon Ferris]

Sorry.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Don't want to misrepresent the guy.

[Joey Diaz]

Are you taking clients, Jordan?

[Jordan Peterson]

All the time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old were you when he gave you Heroin?

[Frank Trandicosta]

I was 19.

[Joey Diaz]

Wow.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you said that you thought it was coke. How old were you when he was giving you cocaine?

[Frank Trandicosta]

He never gave me cocaine. He just gave me heroin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did he know that it was heroin and told you it was cocaine?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Oh, yeah, that man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you think he would catfish you like that?

[Frank Trandicosta]

He was just so good at disappointing everybody, including me. So he was like, you wanna feel great? And I felt.

[Brandon Ferris]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How did you feel?

[Frank Trandicosta]

I was throwing up, but I felt amazing, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

For how long?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Like 30. So if you can do heroin and not ruin your life, it's awesome. Try it. It's pretty great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sorry, was that it? Did you do. You just did it once?

[Frank Trandicosta]

I did it for, like, a few weeks on and off. And then I got off the street and, you know, picked myself up on my bootstraps. Jordan. Got off some drugs. Now it's just boring. I don't do heroin anymore.

[Jordan Peterson]

No, no, I understand. Why'd you stop? You said it was great. Why'd you stop?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Because it's not worth, you know, living in a van and losing everything else to feel good for 30 minutes.

[Jordan Peterson]

Yes.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you, Jeff. Thank you.

[Jordan Peterson]

Why stand up?

[Frank Trandicosta]

I love standup. I grew up in a household where it was very clear that comedy and humor were really accepted and celebrated.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, heroin was accepted.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yeah, that too. So it was like heroin or comedy?

[Joey Diaz]

Open the door a little.

[Frank Trandicosta]

I figured this probably has a little bit more longevity.

[Tyler Fisher]

Can you imagine them shooting up and, like, no, Louis CK

[Joey Diaz]

put on Hannah Gatsby.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do for a living?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Right now I work at Chili's on 45th and Lamar.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, look at that. Very specific. What exactly are you doing at the Chili's?

[Frank Trandicosta]

I'm a server. I'm a server there, so I just run people their food.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long you been doing that?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Since I moved here in February.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Jordan Peterson]

Do you charm your customers?

[Frank Trandicosta]

No, it's hard to do that. Looking like me. I look like Gangnam Style got out prison of prison. So I don't try or anything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. And what's your love life like?

[Frank Trandicosta]

I mean, not fantastic. Now, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When you say now, what does that mean? That it once was.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Frank Trandicosta]

I had a girlfriend before I moved here and now I don't what happened with her? I lived in Illinois at the time and she was from San Francis, she was from San Francisco.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

People tonight.

[Frank Trandicosta]

And she wanted to move or San Diego, and she wanted to move back home, so we split up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. When's the last time you talked to her?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Like last year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And that's when you broke up?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yeah. Let's call her. No, that's okay. We don't have to do that. Angry black strippers aren't fun, huh?

[Jordan Peterson]

Why'd you move to Austin?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Because I love comedy. I just wanted to be around it, be somewhere. Cause I'm from Peoria, so there's nothing. So like maybe jukebox, but there's not a lot of.

[Jordan Peterson]

I think Peoria is famous for nothing, isn't it?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it is famous for great stand up comedians.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Richard Pryor Kinison.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah. Richard Pryor, Sam Kinison. Not you, not me. So, Frank, what are some, like, goals? What are you looking forward to here?

[Frank Trandicosta]

I want to be able to someday at least live off of doing what I love. So I'll be serving tables for a while.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But you make good money in chili?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Yeah, sure. Not. Not crazy amounts, but I'm getting by all right.

[Jordan Peterson]

How do you work on your comedy? What do you do to. To. To. To like.

[Frank Trandicosta]

I try to dedicate time every day to writing.

[Jordan Peterson]

How much time?

[Frank Trandicosta]

At least, like 10, 20 minutes. Even if I can't do that, I'll try and jot something down. If I can't, I at least go over old material and find stuff that I can work on at least.

[Jordan Peterson]

If you're dedicated enough. Or should you do more than that?

[Frank Trandicosta]

You know what? Probably not enough. I work at Chili's. I should quit my job.

[Jordan Peterson]

Well, not necessarily.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, there's a lot of greats that worked at Chili's and focused on their dreams for 10 to 20 minutes a day. I believe that's how Kobe got so good at basketball. They talk about that 10 to 20 minutes a day. Frank, have you ever performed other things on. On a stage? You a performer? Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Trandicosta]

I was a musical theater major the first time I went to school. And then I had done theater throughout high school.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Was there anything that we would recognize, like any plays that Are famous or anything.

[Frank Trandicosta]

The last musical I got a part in was School of Rock, but I ended up dropping out of that musical because I couldn't maintain the rehearsals and

[Tyler Fisher]

everything longer than 20 minutes.

[Joey Diaz]

You could be in Cats without the costume and just show up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is true. I see some whiskers there, Mr. Mistoffeles. Do you remember any of your big lines or anything like that from any of those?

[Frank Trandicosta]

No, I remember songs, but that's about it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Thank you, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What song do you remember? Red man has been trying to get this chili song on this show for four and a half minutes, by the way. Just waiting with his hand over the button. It is incredible. You know that song?

[Frank Trandicosta]

Oh, I love that song.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're goddamn right. That's your national anthem?

[Jordan Peterson]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You want to sing it with the band? Sure, go right ahead.

[Frank Trandicosta]

Chilies baby back ribs I want my

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

baby back, baby back, baby back I

[Frank Trandicosta]

want my baby back, baby back, baby

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

back I want my chilies baby back ribs

[Joey Diaz]

wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is Kill Pony. Somehow we're one of the biggest shows in the world. There's a big joke book. There goes Frank Trandicosta, ladies and gentlemen. All right, back to the bucket we go. A one word name. Historically, these are always interesting. Make some noise for your next comedian. Helena, everybody. A one word name. Helena.

[Helena]

Man, who the hell greenlit a rape whistle? Bitch, you need a gun. You getting swooped up at the park and you're tooting a little fucking jig about it, like you're gonna get raped and then you're gonna play yourself out like the Titanic band. Any man capable of saving you has tinnitus and cannot register that frequency. You need a little device that sounds like a 24 valve cranking and then not starting. A man who was just hit by a bus is gonna just reassemble his limbs like the Avengers and get there faster than Jimmy John's. Like, there in 15 minutes. Are the rapes on him? Man, that was my full minute.

[Tyler Fisher]

All right.

[Helena]

Well, Tony Hinchcliff looks like the first wooden puppet to come to life on puberty blockers. It's not his fault. They told him he could be a real boy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, all right. There you go. A real life crack rock, everybody. Thank you. Way to take shots at the throne while bombing your entire set. Amazing. Normally, people that go for me at least have some momentum or something like that. Welcome, Helena. How are you? You've been on the show once before, Correct? Go. Well, I remember. I remember very clearly. I was just a wooden boy back then. I Remember? I remember you said the N word on stage.

[Helena]

I didn't quite. I was close, but I didn't quite. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, what did you say? That was so close. I don't remember.

[Helena]

I basically praised slavery. It was fine.

[Tyler Fisher]

Yeah.

[Helena]

It wasn't the vibe. I was doing satire that a lot of people didn't recognize the satire, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Helena]

It was not.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Helena]

I got a lot of death threats in my DMs. A lot of poorly spelled death threats.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. There you go. There you go. Helena, where are you from?

[Helena]

I am from the very tip top in Northern California on the coast and from the Red Woods.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Absolutely. How long have you been in Austin, Texas?

[Helena]

Like three months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. How do you like it?

[Helena]

Oh, I love it. It's my favorite place I've lived.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you love about it?

[Helena]

The people are great. I like the gun laws and the gas prices. I mean, mine's gas prices. Not quite, but I've heard they can be good here. But so you know that the people. Barbecue's fantastic. And the rape. Yeah. You know, I've lived in Austin for three months and I haven't been raped by a homeless guy yet. And I'm surprised because, I mean, I didn't know Austin was a city of empty promises, you know? I mean, one guy did kind of try, but he ran off with some Asian kid yelling, you don't know me. I'm not redband.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Bring me into this shit, you ratchet piece. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That's just weird. Helena, what do you do?

[Helena]

I'm an electrician.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow. Really? You work? You get work, bruh.

[Karen Jones]

Yeah.

[Tyler Fisher]

She looks like she's been shocked.

[Helena]

Couple times. Yeah. Not too bad, but, yeah, I've been bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have you been an electrician for?

[Tyler Fisher]

Three years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. You good at it?

[Helena]

I'd like to think so, yeah. My work's clean and it works properly.

[Karen Jones]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Jordan Peterson]

What keeps you doing standup?

[Helena]

I like it. I think it's fun. I don't know. I identify as funny. I don't know if that means I actually am.

[Jordan Peterson]

That counts nowadays.

[Helena]

Exactly. If you can identify as whatever you want, I'm identifying as funny, but, yeah, I just get a kick out of it. I like it. I want to do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Does anyone else identify you as funny?

[Helena]

Not that many. There's a couple of them out there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, but how's the circuit going for you? How many spots are you doing? You working hard?

[Helena]

Not that many. I was recently discouraged by a show that I was on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tell us about that.

[Helena]

Oh, I was racist On Kill Tony and I got a lot of.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, we talked about that.

[Helena]

Yeah. Perhaps there was another that didn't go over well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. I thought.

[Helena]

No. Yeah. So I took a little break after that and had a little existential crisis. Bum, bum, back. Out of spite mostly. But I'm back.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, absolutely. Now, most of the shows that you do are like open mics in front of small crowds, right?

[Helena]

Not a lot in front of big ones. Yeah. Yeah. Mostly people that don't want to be there.

[Joey Diaz]

Like tonight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What else do you do for fun, Helena?

[Helena]

That's a good question. I like shooting guns. I like smoking stogies, watching Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro. I don't know, I just vibe most of the time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Interesting, interesting. Not doing good for your non racist.

[Jordan Peterson]

How did you conjure enough. Up enough courage to come back after your existential crisis?

[Helena]

Do you see me? I'm shaking up a storm. I'm terrified.

[Jordan Peterson]

Yeah, yeah. But you do it anyhow. How come?

[Cam Patterson]

How come?

[Helena]

Because I have a personal drive. And I'm not gonna let one person on a podcast or a panel on a podcast of highly respectable comedians tell me that I'm not good enough to do it. I decided in my heart that I wanted to do it, so I'm gonna do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, no one on the panel told you not to do it, right?

[Helena]

No, but you made me feel like I shouldn't. At a deeper soul level.

[Joey Diaz]

Entertainment business.

[Helena]

But that's the thing is the reason I wanted to do. Because the last time I was up here was my first time on stage. And the reason I wanted to do it is it was either gonna go well or it was gonna go really badly. And I wanted either extreme. Cause I honestly kind of expected it to go really badly. And I wanted to start from there so that no matter how many other places I've bombed, I'm like, man, it's not as bad as bombing and getting roasted on Kill Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, there you go.

[Helena]

So now any other. Yeah, I keep bombing and it's not stopping me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Think tonight went better than last time?

[Helena]

I think it went a little bit better. There was a couple chuckles out there last time. There was like one guy who got my three fists reference, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, right. And he was wearing shout out to that guy.

[Tyler Fisher]

Thanks, dude. Yeah.

[Helena]

And then Borat liked it. I don't know. He was funny. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Helena]

Ian Fi dance looks like Borat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Okay. No, he doesn't. But okay. Literally doesn't look like him.

[Helena]

Minor resemblance.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's more, living situation. Why do I feel like you have Like a shed. Shed Energies.

[Joey Diaz]

It's well lit in the shed. That's.

[Helena]

Yeah, it's a very well lit shed. The outlets are on point in there. No, no, I live out in like a little one bedroom out in the middle of New Sweden.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

New Sweden.

[Helena]

It's in the middle of like 100 acres. It's nice. It's not a shed. All right? It's not.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was pretty cool. Sounds like a shed.

[Helena]

Nice in there. It's not a shed. If you look at it at a distance, it looks vaguely shed. Like it's not a shed. It's a nice spot. It's got a two car garage. It's nice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, is the garage bigger than the dwelling?

[Helena]

No, honestly, it's about the same size.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's one big.

[Helena]

It's one big shed, like rectangle. And then the upstairs is a living space and then the downstairs is a two car garage.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you put in the two car garage? You have one car, I have a

[Helena]

car and a motorcycle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa, look at you.

[Joey Diaz]

Electricians pay well, right?

[Helena]

You make good money, they're decent. It's a hit or miss. Some places are like 12 an hour and you're gonna be doing shit work. And then some places are like 24 and you can hang out on your phone.

[Joey Diaz]

So do you need a roommate? We could have hobbit sex. Hot hobbit sex in your little shed.

[Helena]

I'm happily taken, but that's an offer I'll have to keep on the back burner.

[Joey Diaz]

All right.

[Tyler Fisher]

Are you dating a guy or a girl?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Huh?

[Tyler Fisher]

Guy or girl?

[Helena]

Why does everyone think I'm a lesbian?

[Tyler Fisher]

Man, you're an electrician who rides a motorcycle and smokes cigars.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The eyebrows.

[Jordan Peterson]

There's a lot of hints there.

[Helena]

I know. So even my dad thought I was playing for the other team. But no, I say that God made me a non practicing lesbian like me. He made me a full blown dyke and didn't flip the gay switch on the way out. Gave me the old reverse hinchcliff, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right? Yeah, it's amazing. You're not a lesbian, but you ate it on stage tonight. You got a little joke book last time you were on?

[Helena]

I did get a little one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, there you go. You should fill it up with material.

[Helena]

No, I actually dropped that shit on the way out. And then I felt bad so I didn't go yet. I was like, I'll get a big one one day.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So there you go. Today is not that day. I figured there goes Helena, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be back Helena. Okay. Yeah, we filled up the one last bucket pool tonight. Let's see what happens here. This is interesting. This doesn't make sense because you're here. It says Jordan Peterson. What does this mean? Jordan Peterson. Wait a second. What is going on here? Ladies and gentlemen, there's some funny business going on. The old switcheroo. Wait a second, ladies and gentlemen, make some noise. I do believe this is Jordan Peterson, everybody.

[Jordan Peterson]

Well, you know, it's like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well,

[Joey Diaz]

you know, it's like it's been a comical evening, you know, and it's like, well, I was gonna try to be funny, but it's like, well, it depends what the meaning of funny is. It's like, got to clean my damn room, you know?

[Jordan Peterson]

Like.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, on the way here, I fingered a cat. You know, it's like.

[Jordan Peterson]

So anyways, well, I'm single, you know,

[Joey Diaz]

it's like a tiny guy, height challenged, you know? The damn feminists make you put your height on Tinder. I had to change my damn height to millimeters to trick them. It's like, well, you know,

[Ari Maddie]

I look

[Joey Diaz]

like I'm damn, 37 from the front. From the back, I could be 12. It's like I'm what's known as a pedophile's worst nightmare. It's like, yeah, it's like Nishi warned

[Jordan Peterson]

about that, you know, it's like catching

[Joey Diaz]

pedophiles all day in the playground just playing around, you know, Wait, you know, gotcha.

[Jordan Peterson]

You know, gotcha.

[Joey Diaz]

Just like Kathy Newman. I got that feminist cunt.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I got her.

[Jordan Peterson]

It's like, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well,

[Joey Diaz]

I work for the Daily Wire now, so I'm required to say that. This impression was brought to you by ExpressVPN, use code LOBSTER for 10% off. All right, everybody, thanks so much. Jordan Peterson, one of my fucking heroes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I cleaned my room, Jordan. What did you think about Jordan Peterson?

[Jordan Peterson]

I didn't do it.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't dwell till it weren't.

[Jordan Peterson]

He's got a great tailor. I'll tell him that.

[Joey Diaz]

I need help, man. You gotta help me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is an amazing jacket. Where do you get a jacket like that from?

[Jordan Peterson]

Well, this insane Russian character named Dmitri sent me a suit list a year or two years ago and told me, make me a suit for each of my rules. So that's 12.

[Joey Diaz]

Damn it.

[Jordan Peterson]

You know? Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And I realized if you want to look smart, just look like you're getting gum off your fingers, you know?

[Jordan Peterson]

That's how you conjure ideas out of nothingness.

[Cam Patterson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

How do I get.

[Jordan Peterson]

Do I just

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

how about a hand for the great Tyler Fiser, everybody?

[Joey Diaz]

Peterson, everybody.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And with that, there's only one place to go from here. We have one final comedian. He is an absolute thunderstorm of chaos. You know him as the Memphis Strangler, the Vanilla gorilla, the Tijuana Tarantula, the Detroit Dingleberry. This is indeed the big Red machine. The one and only William Montgomery, everybody about it.

[William Montgomery]

So I've got some good news and I've got some bad news. The bad news is Kamala Harris is now running for president. The good news, Maya Rudolph about to be back on snl, y'.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All.

[William Montgomery]

For the visually impaired, Kamala Harris looks like an Indian woman who got her hair did. That's a pretty good one, I think. Okay, but seriously, Joe Biden is abandoning the race, just like he abandoned his granddaughter. Hunter fathered with a stripper. Kamala Harris and Donald Trump have a lot in common. For one, they both taken shots to the face. Okay, that's my time. I was wondering how all of those would go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

William Montgomery. Welcome back, William.

[William Montgomery]

So nice to be here. Tony. And am I. I am currently on an hour and a half of sleep. I was in Miami. I had to. I got mixed up in the planes going, not flying on Friday, and I had to do a show on Sunday, and I slept an hour and a half last night. Tony. I am just so exhausted, and my throat is hurting right now.

[Joey Diaz]

Scott.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a new thing. That is. We've been hearing a lot about this. Your throat hurting, you've been overworked. Did you make all your shows with the flights being canceled and whatnot?

[Cam Patterson]

Hold on.

[William Montgomery]

Scott Peterson.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's not Scott Peterson.

[William Montgomery]

William, I was wondering how you got Scott Peterson. I thought he was in prison.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, Scott Peterson.

[William Montgomery]

Oh. But yes, I was able to. I was able to make the flights on Saturday, but then I had to do a show on Sunday, and my voice is killing me, and I'm exhausted.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't miss Friday shows.

[William Montgomery]

Had to miss Friday shows.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is like a new thing that's been happening with you where you don't make your first night of shows.

[William Montgomery]

Well, this was. I don't remember what the event was called, but. But this is a very special event where it wasn't actually my fault.

[Jordan Peterson]

Tony.

[William Montgomery]

So that's how that works. But it actually was kind of. It was kind of strange. I was actually getting high on my couch, and my father, Larry, we're always texting, and he texts me these two very long text messages, and I read the first line of the first text message and it says, william, I know you're just sitting on the couch getting high. And then I said it down. So that's. There's no much story. I was scared to read the rest of it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was he right?

[William Montgomery]

Yes, I was high on the couch. But I don't know, Tony.

[Brandon Ferris]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

Maybe I need to start going to the places early. I don't know. I don't really want to do that.

[Joey Diaz]

Really.

[William Montgomery]

I don't really want to go to these places a fucking day before. I just don't want to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. Do you keep taking, like the last flight to these places? Is that the one that you book so that you can get sleep? Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

This last one maybe was one in the middle of the afternoon?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Have you ever thought about going to a professional development class?

[Frank Trandicosta]

No.

[William Montgomery]

Is that funny?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that what y' all are laughing? What the.

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[William Montgomery]

I need help, Tony. I need help. I mean, this is a cry for

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the earliest flight to places so that if things go wrong, you. You can have backup plans.

[William Montgomery]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Especially now that you're here in Austin where there's not quite as many flights as la.

[William Montgomery]

Okay, I'll start doing it. I gotta work.

[Jordan Peterson]

Is there such a thing as like a disciplined comedian?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, no, no.

[Jordan Peterson]

That, that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, not really.

[Frank Trandicosta]

No.

[Jordan Peterson]

He's like disciplined accountant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I'm with you on the missed flights, I'd say.

[William Montgomery]

What do you mean? Or what does that mean?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you mean?

[William Montgomery]

I think you're getting my back. I think I was trying to understand what you were saying, though. What are you saying? Saying you miss flights too sometimes.

[Jordan Peterson]

I'm just trying to offer you some understanding. No, I don't ever miss flights.

[Luke Everett]

You don't?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, he would never. He would never miss a flight. But meanwhile, you've missed two your last two weekends, isn't that correct, at least?

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, but only one. Only the show's on Friday. I missed, but I made it up. It's okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Don't you think it's weird to travel to a city to make half as much money as you could if you made them?

[William Montgomery]

Well, it was so funny, Tony. I made the. The same amount of money as I did in Vancouver, Canada, with five sold out shows in Vancouver. And I made the same amount of money doing three shows in Miami just because of the taxes and everything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Jordan Peterson]

Plus, we also try to make our dollar not worth anything.

[William Montgomery]

Do you like what's it, Trudeau? Are you Justin Trudeau fan? Your Canadian arts.

[Jordan Peterson]

I like him the same way I like Gavin Newsome. Roasted Over a spit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh,

[William Montgomery]

yeah.

[Jordan Peterson]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Tyler Fiser. Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I haven't seen much of your stuff. You kind of look like Louis CK when he went into hiding. I like that. You're funny though.

[Tyler Fisher]

He does look like he took a flight and it crashed. And then he. A volleyball for like three years and. And then. And then came back to Austin.

[David Donic]

It's like a flight.

[William Montgomery]

Hold on, Tyler. I'm just a little curious. Can you stand up for a second?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. Oh. What is going on?

[William Montgomery]

Everybody knows you're 47, dude. Don't talk about my. Whatever the you just said, dude. You're a tiny little short guy.

[Joey Diaz]

I know, but I go up so short.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Short.

[William Montgomery]

You could probably have fun with people being so short.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Such a little guy. Be nice, William.

[William Montgomery]

Cute little guy.

[Joey Diaz]

Look at you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you.

[William Montgomery]

You really are a sweet, cute little guy with those blue eyes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Look at you.

[William Montgomery]

With small little fingers and small little arms and a small little body. You're sweet looking, William.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What are you passionate about this week? What are you excited about?

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know.

[Cam Patterson]

I'm.

[William Montgomery]

My fucking voice is going and I'm literally fucking on edge, Tony. But I'm never gonna. I'm probably never gonna stop going the flights the day of the show. So I think you're gonna keep doing that, but maybe I'll change it. I don't know. Maybe I'll switch it up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that might be a good thing. But I bet a lot of people are gonna buy your Saturday tickets from now on. Listening to these last couple shows that you've done, realizing that you have a new weird habit of missing the Friday.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, don't get tickets for any of my Friday shows if you happen to be watching this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes.

[William Montgomery]

Do not buy tickets for Friday shows.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's exciting, though. It's exciting for the people that buy tickets for Friday shows and then they show up and you're there. It's like, whoa. He never does this.

[William Montgomery]

I know. Well, I'm figuring it out, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. It's an exciting thing. You're a very, very exciting, neurotic, special, special man, William. Uncle Montgomery. A very, very special boy.

[William Montgomery]

Well, I'm happy I made it. It was very nice to be here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Everybody loves you. Kill Tony. Hall of Famer legend. Anything else we need to know, William? What else is going on?

[William Montgomery]

I think the worms are out of gators, but my dog's butt. I think the worms.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your dog had worms?

[William Montgomery]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And what did you do to take care of that situation? Give her a pill?

[William Montgomery]

Just gave her A pill. And I think it worked.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Does your dog come over to you when you call its name?

[William Montgomery]

Yes, she does. Oh, we love each other. Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. She comes over all the time. Yeah. Okay. All right.

[William Montgomery]

Thank you. Red Band.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, you're very nice to Red Band tonight. What's going on?

[Jordan Peterson]

I don't know.

[William Montgomery]

I feel totally out of sorts. I'm not even kidding. I. I slept an hour last night. I feel totally exhausted. We're gonna stop coming to my Friday shows now. I'm starting to stress out about that. Everybody's gonna stop buying tickets for my show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're already stressed out about it.

[William Montgomery]

I'm already stressed out about it. I'm already thinking.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We just acknowledged it three and a half minutes ago. You're already stressed.

[William Montgomery]

You know me, Tony. You know I live a life filled with stress. I don't know how to turn it off, really.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is true. This is a fun fact about William. There's so many things that are exaggerated and wild about William, but he really is very stressed. Very concerned about.

[William Montgomery]

Very stressed. Not really happy yet. I'm working on it. But, yeah, not really even that happy, but just kind of stressed.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But what's wild is your little brother.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you.

[William Montgomery]

Dumbass. The one weird little laugh when I'm saying I'm not happy. Thanks for laughing at that, you idiot. If I kill myself tonight, you know it's because of you, you idiot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your little brother, Selden, works here at the Mothership. We've met him before.

[William Montgomery]

I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think he's been on the show with you, and he's always happy. And what's interesting is that he is. He's a big drinker.

[Brandon Ferris]

He.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He shotguns White Claws and other very interesting beverages, and he's always happy. And how long have you been sober?

[William Montgomery]

Three years. A little over three years now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Congratulations.

[William Montgomery]

Thank you. It's fine. My life's boring, but it's okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many. Tell the people how many club sodas you drink a night to replace your drinking habit.

[William Montgomery]

God, I don't know. In Miami, I was out on the beaches with them. I was drinking. I was honest.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I was.

[William Montgomery]

I don't know. I drink. 10, 15?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

One Friday night or Saturday night?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

On the low end, right? Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. You do? I love it.

[Karen Jones]

That's surprising.

[Tyler Fisher]

He seems, well, less hydrated than that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Tyler Fisher]

What is. Do you have, like, an official diagnosis? Do you have, like, an official ufc? A therapist? Or is there, like, someone you talk to about the not getting up for a show? Shows and stuff.

[William Montgomery]

Somebody talking? Was I hearing some woman talking up here? I'm not talking to any up here tonight. I'm sorry. I'm really not. I'm really not in the mood.

[Tyler Fisher]

Are you piece?

[William Montgomery]

I already talked to the little short guy who seems very sweet. I didn't want to really talk to you.

[Joey Diaz]

Watch it, bucko.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

What are you saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I've never seen such a great battle between two college football mascots before. This is incredible. We should work together, make students to the great William Montgomery, ladies and gentlemen. We did it again. Jordan Peterson, everybody.

[Joey Diaz]

Come on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We who wrestle with God. November 12th. This year the new book is out. The Peterson academy is just taking off. Truly the new best online universe university in the world led by the great Jordan Peterson. The tie. How about a hand for Tyler Fiser, everybody? The election special out now on his YouTube. He's on tour. Tyler Fisher.com that's F I S c h e r the Kim Congdon takeover. The new podcast by kill Tony legend Kim Congdon, everybody. Thank you. You to expressvpn and shopify. The drawing from Ryan j e belt is in. It is amazing. Red band. Check out the secret show over at the Sunset Strip. Atx.com thank you guys. We love you guys. The stream from Madison square garden is available now and we love you guys. We'll see you super soon. Have a good night, everybody. Oh, tickets for Las Vegas now for sale. Huge, huge pop up Kill Tony the week of skank fest, the Wednesday night at resorts world in Las Vegas. So that's the very rare kill Tony on the road. One of the only ones that we're doing this year. We love you guys. Thank you. Good night everybody. Sam. Ram.

[Tyler Fisher]

The sunset strip comedy club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sam.