#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE

Summary

KILL TONY #695 – MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
Comedy Mothership, Austin, TX | December 10, 2024

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Overview
This episode of Kill Tony features comedian Matt McCusker (Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast) making a return appearance, and the panel debut of LaMaire Lee (Panties in the Mouth Podcast). Host Tony Hinchcliffe and co-host Brian Redban preside over the signature live bucket-draw format, where aspiring stand-ups get sixty seconds to impress, followed by unfiltered panel commentary and interviews. The audience at Comedy Mothership is treated to roast-heavy, improvisational chaos, several memorable debuts, and a transformative haircut moment.

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Key Discussion Points & Comedic Highlights

1. Panel Introductions & Chemistry [02:23–04:15]

• Tony introduces Matt McCusker as “one of the greatest guests in the history of the show,” and LaMaire Lee in his Kill Tony debut, highlighting their chemistry.
• Jokes about LaMaire sweating before the show ("Look at this guy. Holy shit. Hoodie off the forehead is soaked...Welcome to the Kill Tony universe." – Tony, 03:19).
• Panelists plug their podcasts: “Matt McCusker’s on tour...He is one half of Matt and Shane’s Secret Pod…LaMaire has the Panties in the Mouth pod.” – Tony, 03:34–03:40.

2. Drew Nickens: The Brain Damage Minute [06:20–13:25]

• Military veteran and previous golden ticket winner Drew Nickens opens with a frenetic set about his late brother.
• Memorable moment: Drew reveals his brother died after being hit by two cars:
  • “So he took too many dabs. And then he was walking down, like, a farm to Market Road, and he got hit by two cars.” (09:00)
• Tony roasts Redban for being quick on the sad-sound-button (“Red Ban on a destructive path...this is what happens when Red Band kills Red Ban.” – Tony, 09:50)
• Discussion turns sincere as Drew describes a shelter named after his brother, “Jesse’s Place” (11:55–13:25).

3. Fred G.—The "German Mountaineer" [14:34–21:39]

• Fred, an American-raised German army mountaineer, delves into awkward, offbeat one liners and is quickly outed for a history in the “German army.”
• Panel riffs on his accent (“You have no accent whatsoever? How do you. What do you attribute that to?” – Tony, 16:39)
• Nazi references and “raw pork on a roll” as a German food highlight a run of dark ethnic jokes and audience crowdwork.
• LaMaire on Fred: “I saw at the food trucks. He was. He was with a gentleman caller. Fred's freaky as, dude.” (18:45)
• Tony delivers: "The first Nazi ever on the show. Happens just organically." (19:35)

4. Nick James: The Parking Ticket Enforcer [22:38–31:31]

• Nick’s set revolves around abusing his own last name (“PHAGGOT, pronounced Pago”) and living under an unwanted persona.
• Learns the audience abhors his real job: writing $92 parking tickets.
• Tony presses for confrontational stories, but Nick turns every anecdote into awkward self-deprecation.
• "Actually, dude, thank you for your service. For real, though...but also, boo. Dude, that sucks." – LaMaire, 29:53 [sarcastically thanking a parking enforcer]

5. C. Wayne: Racial One-Liners and Comedy Promotion [31:56–41:22]

• C. Wayne delivers quickfire race jokes, purposely “cancel-worthy,” but with a self-awareness: “What do you call white people that buy small amounts of weed? Graham crackers.” (32:03)
• Panel pushes for more “what do you call” jokes, including Indian and Hispanic punchlines.
• Reveals he runs a weekly comedy showcase in San Antonio.
• Tony: “Give these Austin blacks somewhere to go to see a comedy show.” [Crowd laughs at the intentionally provocative phrasing] (41:13)

6. Matt Walker: The Haircut Transformation [43:20–53:29, 102:12–105:10]

• Highlight of the night: Matt Walker, a 38-year-old construction worker and first-timer, is immediately roasted for his balding comb-forward hairstyle.
• Tony and panel pressure him to shave his head live; crowd votes in favor.
• He’s brought back, head freshly shaved, with a “night and day” makeover that becomes the emotional peak of the episode.
  • “That might be both the easiest makeover and the most effective makeover of all time.” – Tony, 105:14

7. Featured Regular: Ari Mattie from Estonia [55:26–62:17]

• Ari delivers material on the joys of arguing in relationships, panel calls it “real thunder and lightning.”
• Ari and Tony banter about losing at the casino during a Las Vegas trip, including an alleged near $26,000 roulette win being voided by the dealer (“They tried to steal my money.” – Tony, 65:15).
• Thread of cultural misfortune: “I don’t know what side Estonia was on in WWII, but you got bad luck, bro.” – Tony, 62:23

8. Matt Brown: Sibling Struggles & Stand-up Long Game [69:06–76:18]

• Baltimore transplant describes his life with two older brothers (one autistic, one Jehovah’s Witness), jokes about their quirks, and discusses being fired from a job for non-sexual-harassment reasons.
• Sincere moment on missing his deceased mom, then pivots to sports and living with his comedian friend LaMaire.

9. Brianna Vasquez: First-Time Female Comic [77:18–82:22]

• Portland-raised, Pentecostal background. Set focuses on restrictive upbringing and awkwardness with men.
• Panel needles her gentle delivery; Tony riffs on the “state of women in comedy.”
• Brianna reveals her day job as a disability analyst.

10. Billy Swift: High History & MMA [83:19–88:59]

• Billy does history-themed weed jokes, including an Anne Frank ASMR bit: “Today we are going to listen to the boots downstairs.” – Tony (84:14)
• Discusses former and current jobs, MMA training, and “doing drugs”—especially mushrooms and coke, “Austin gets you on coke real quick.” (87:29)
• LaMaire proves invaluable as “interview assistant,” continually feeding fun facts about comics on stage.

11. Dusty Carter: Polyamory & Meth Cook-turned-Comic [89:50–100:31]

• Dusty, a Kentucky native and show staff member, finally drawn after over a year of sign-ups.
• Pivots from hillbilly and ex-con origin (“I’m an ex con. I was a drug dealer, I was a meth cook. I’d done all that wild stuff.” – 97:12) to polyamorous relationship stories and threesomes at Disney World.
• Tony: “This is my favorite show on the Travel Channel. Just Kentucky Park Polyamory. 10pm every Thursday.” (98:48)

12. William Montgomery: Legendary Closer [106:31–118:56]

• The “Vanilla Gorilla” delivers his trademark rapid-fire absurdity, including riffs on Whoopi Goldberg, sex tapes, and angry drunk showgoers.
• Shares a long, meandering story about standing up to an unruly audience member at a Florida gig, reads a critical review.
• Banter with panel over a broken weed bowl; conclusions marked by gentler, self-reflective William.
  • “I think people were having fun. I think it was a wonderful show." – William, 118:25

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• LaMaire confesses his panel goal: “I came here to black out and hear jokes.” (03:25)
• Tony deciphers Fred G.: “So, Fred, is there anything you miss about Germany, love about America? What's going on in your head?” (20:00)
• Nick James on his job: “I write Parking tickets.” (25:42)
  LaMaire: “Thank you for your service...but also, boo.” (29:53)
• Tony’s “life-changing moment”: “We’re going to bring him out a little bit later...the unthinkable is happening. Dreams are coming true. Matt Walker has debuted...the worst hair in Kill Tony history. We’re going to get to see it shave tonight.” (53:48)
• Ari Mattie’s relationship philosophy: “When you’re single, it’s all my fault. Every time I fuck up, I just have to be in front of the mirror like, you piece of shit...” (55:40)
• William Montgomery on a disruptive showgoer: “It was wonderful because...I was able to get out on the field at the Gator and there’s this stupid...24 [year old]...” (108:43), Tony: “Why are you always looking out of blinds?” (110:07)

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Segment Timestamps

• Panel intros / sponsors / format: 02:23–04:15
• Drew Nickens, interview, Jesse’s Place: 06:20–13:25
• Fred G. / German stories / crowdwork: 14:34–21:39
• Nick James, parking tickets, bad jacket: 22:38–31:31
• C. Wayne, race jokes, show promotion: 31:56–41:22
• Matt Walker—hair roast and interview: 43:20–53:29
• Ari Mattie, regular set & Vegas casino tale: 55:26–62:17
• Matt Brown, autistic brother, basketball: 69:06–76:18
• Brianna Vasquez, debut, disability analyst: 77:18–82:22
• Billy Swift, Anne Frank bit, MMA, drugs: 83:19–88:59
• Dusty Carter, ex-con, polyamory, meth: 89:50–100:31
• Matt Walker's Big Reveal (shaved head): 102:12–105:10
• William Montgomery closeout / crowdwork: 106:31–118:56

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Episode Tone and Takeaways

• Signature irreverence: No topic is “off limits”—panelists and hosts push boundaries with ethnic, disability, and sexuality gags, always with a sense of playful, roast-based camaraderie.
• Themes: Transformation (Matt Walker’s head shave); perseverance (regulars and long-waiting comics); the wild, unpredictable community of Austin stand-up.
• Panel energy: LaMaire Lee stands out as a warm, hyperactive comic voice, while McCusker mostly riffs dryly among friends. Redban is unusually on-point with sound drops.
• Strong arcs: Several comedians use the moment for honesty—military traumas, family struggles, identity and appearance changes—making for a mix of heavy and hilarious.

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Conclusion
Episode #695 is quintessential Kill Tony: live-wire chaos, no-holds-barred panel banter, groan-worthy first-timers, genuinely funny bucket pulls, and at least one real-life transformation. Special guest Matt McCusker and new panelist LaMaire Lee blend seamlessly with Tony Hinchcliffe’s unsparing tone, capped by William Montgomery’s not-so-typical wrap-up. A must-listen for fans of the show’s balance of gut-punch humor, open-hearted honesty, and community weirdness.

Transcript

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, this is red band and you're listening to the death squad podcast network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at death squad TV and now on Spotify and apple podcasts. If you want to check out Tony Hinchcliffe's website, go to tonyhinchcliff.com everything Golden Pony, including his tour dates at tonyhinchcliff.Com if you want to check out the sunset strip or get some death squad merch, go to death squad tv. And. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is redman coming to you

[Brian Redban]

live from the comedy mothership here in

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony edgecliffe. Who's ready for the best fucking night of that. Yippee big. So much for Brian redband, ladies and gentlemen.

[La Mer Lee]

Hello.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And how about a hand for the best damn band in the land live in the flesh. Raul Vallejo. Carlos Sosa. Fernando Castillo. Michael Gonzalez. Nachos Belgrande. The great Matt Muhling on the electric guitar. John Dees on the keys. And this is D madness live in the flesh right here, right now. Very exciting stuff planned for tonight. How do we feel? You guys happy? Before we get into it, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.

[Brianna Vasquez]

The sunset strip comedy club in Austin, Texas is now over. Check out Red band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You guys ready to start tonight's episode or what? Come on. Are you guys with us? Are you guys ready for the best damn show? Brought to you by game time. This is Kill Tony. Tonight's game. Guess two of my favorite human beings. One of the greatest guests in the history of the show. The other guy. It is his first time on panel. This is a perfect chemistry match. Is I bring to you a couple of my favorite comedians, a couple of my favorite dogs. Make some noise for the great Matt McCusker and Lamare. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah. Matt McCusker. The debut of La Mer. He's already sweating bullets. Look at this guy. Holy shit. Oh, my God. There it goes. Whoa. Oh, my goodness. Hoodie off the forehead is soaked. Lamar. Welcome to the Kill Tony universe.

[La Mer Lee]

Well, thank you for having me, Tony. I came here to black out and hear jokes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. I love it. Let's do it all together. Matt McCusker.

[Heidi]

That was such a nice nerd spaz coming.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Matt McCusker's on tour. Matt McCusker.com of course he is one half of Matt and Shane's secret pod. What? Barry may well be the greatest podcast not shot in front of a live audience. La Mer has the Panties in the Mouth pod. I. I've only heard of this tonight while asking him if he has a podcast. It is the Panties in the mouthpod. Am I saying that right?

[La Mer Lee]

Yes sir. We're perverts.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, lamarlee. Dot Fun is his website for those of you looking for the cheapest URL in the history of websites. La Mer L E M A I R E Lee and when it couldn't get any cheaper. Dot fun lamarrelee.com blatantly available for only what I would guess is 29 more. But he went with dot fun fun and got some extra chicken nuggets that day is my guess. Any kind of nuggets. I don't know why I had to make them chicken anyway. Matt McCusker and Lair248 human beings signed up to be on this show. They are wrangled in a bar across the street right now. Absolutely. Oh, one went up my sleeve. Look at that. Here you guy with the American flag hat. You want to pick the first name. Very exciting. Anything can happen. The first name has been picked and we're going to go wrangle that person while that happens. Just if you guys don't know if someone brought their brain dead girlfriend that doesn't know anything about comedy here tonight or something, they get 60 seconds on stage. You know their time is up and you hear the sound of a kitten. That means wrap it up then. Or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear which interrupts them abruptly. I interview them. We all meet them all together, maybe give them some advice, maybe just find out more about their lives. What makes them interesting goes from a podcast or a stand up set to a podcast in 60 seconds. The whole thing's improvised. Anything can happen. You guys ready to start this fucking show or what? Your first comedian tonight. A golden ticket winner on this show. We don't get to see him that often. He's. He's a growing young boy. He is a wild growing young boy. Suffered brain damage while in the military. We love him. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a brand new minute from Drew Nickens.

[Brian Redban]

One of my brother's nicknames was Mr. Brittney Griner Jr. His name was Jesse. He was an all state athlete, but he was wild. He was a combination of Antonio Brown and Kanye west with a sprinkle of Seth Curry. Yeah, he didn't identify as male or female for A week. He thought he was Crash Van De Koot, the video game character. My man escaped three mental hospitals on pure athletic ability. I thought he was Mexican, the way he was hopping fences. He reminded me of an outside cat. Because he would disappear for four days, we wouldn't hear a peep from him. But then he'd come back like nothing happened. And then he'd be real hungry. He'd go from Crash Bandicoot to Garfield really quickly. One time he came back, he had a bunch of cardboard, and he proceeded to dance to the Step up soundtrack for two hours. My parents were so worried. They were like, where you been? He's like, don't worry about where I've been. I'm safe now. Do we have pizza rolls? All right. Thank you all so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Drew Nickens. The brain damage is bumping here tonight. A lot of keywords, a lot of references there. Brittney Griner, Jr. Jesse Smith, Steph Curry, Crash Bandicoot, Mexican Garfield. You hit a lot of. There's a lot going on in 60 seconds. Not a ton of, like, boom. Like a. Not a lot of punch, not a lot of hooks. Lot of jabs.

[Brian Redban]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tiny little. Feel it out. Like, touch the opponent's hands kind of jabs. This was your brother?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Yes, my brother Jesse. Yes. He. He was a wild one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What happened? What happened to Jesse in real life? What's he up to?

[Brian Redban]

So he's dead.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay. See, that would have been. That would have been. Wow, you were quick with that. Did you know he was dead already? That was amazing. He just had his hand over the button, like. Oh, got it. Fucking nailed it. Red band. Absolutely incredible. We're, like, deadban over here. You were just waiting for it. Absolutely incredible. With the bell toll. So how long has your brother been dead for?

[Brian Redban]

He passed away seven years ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Seven years ago. And what exactly happened to your brother?

[Brian Redban]

Okay, so he was, like, extremely bipolar, like, a little bit above Kanye. And he would run away for a long time, but one time he got. He took too many dabs. And then he was walking down, like, a farm to Market Road, and he got hit by two cars.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Two cars.

[Brian Redban]

Two cars.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Red band. Red band. Where's your noise at? Where's your noise? You are absolutely hijacking the episode. This is what happens when Red Band kills Red Ban.

[Nick James]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Three minutes into the episode. Red Ban on a destructive path. I noticed you were sucking on those vodka Red Bulls a little fast earlier. All of a sudden, I'm a fan of it. Okay, so two cars at once. Talk about Crash Bandicoot.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, tell me about it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[La Mer Lee]

Like, Frogger.

[Brian Redban]

Frogger is black.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, and your brother is black. Now, something that we forget a lot here is that Drew Nickens is black. It's like good old white chocolate meat. Milk chocolate.

[La Mer Lee]

I like to call Drew. Drew Half Niggins.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's what I call him.

[Brian Redban]

Hell, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My goodness.

[Heidi]

What was the angle of the crash, if you don't mind me asking?

[Brian Redban]

So he got hit by one, and then he spun out like a cartoon character. And then he got hit by another, and it made him collapse and, like, hit his head really hard. And he rolled into a ditch.

[Fred G.]

He hit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy shit. Ladies and gentlemen, Red Band making up for 11 and a half years. 11 and a half years. He was the weakest flank, and now he's thriving. Ladies and gentlemen, this is his moment. I had the Tom Brady Roast. He had the first five minutes of this episode. This is a breakout mainstream moment for Brian Redband. We are waiting for it to slow down. It is unbelievable. We've never seen anything like it. No. He's drinking his power Juice. This is absolutely amazing. This is a moment nobody will ever forget, especially Drew's brother. So, Drew, how's comedy going for you? Enough about your brother and your.

[Brian Redban]

There is one thing about my brother. So he died, and then two years later, there was a program called Jesse's Place that was made in his name. It's a shelter for young adults 18 to 24. And they get all the help they need. They get medical help, they get job help. And it's In Yakima, Washington. 500 people have come through the doors of Jesse's Place and have been helped through it. So I just wanted to talk about the Jesse Minute so I could talk about Jesse's Place.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing to help a million. Absolutely amazing. Did they come through the door voluntarily or did you have to get hit by a car?

[Brian Redban]

So the reason why Jesse's Place was made is he would come to the thing and the guy, Mike K, would be afraid that he would beat him up. So he would give him cheeseburgers and hang out with him and he got to know him. So it's all for, like, people that have, like, troubled past 17 to 24. So it's just. It's a really amazing place. I wanted to highlight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes, absolutely amazing. How do people find. Like, where do you go? It's a website or something.

[Brian Redban]

You can go to the Camp Hope website and you'll see Jesse's Place and you can donate to Camp Hope it'll go towards Jesse's place. I'll also have something in my Instagram that'll also have a way for you to donate. They have an Amazon list for bed linens and hygiene products and everything of that nature. So anything of that that you guys want to donate, that would be awesome.

[La Mer Lee]

I have a question, Drew. Is there fresh needles on the Amazon list? I don't want to support any place like that.

[Brian Redban]

No, there's no needles or anything. Drug use is prohibited. They have a drug deal that comes every week over there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Absolutely amazing. We have really. Yep. That we covered it. Drew, thank you so much for starting the show a new minute. We're going to continue to watch him grow. Ladies and gentlemen, Drew. All right, our first bucket poll of the night. You guys know how this goes. Anything can happen. Could be somebody having the life changing moment of their career like Red Band is tonight. Or it could be somebody that fails miserably. Maybe they live down this street. Maybe they traveled from around the world. Anything can happen. Your first bucket full. Getting an uninterrupted 60 seconds tonight. Goes by the name of Fred Go, Fred Go.

[Fred G.]

I hate one liners because every time I do one, it takes like nine and a half minutes before I want to do another one. I had a hoot and a holler watching lived out women cry online about the election results because now they think they have to get their clits cut off and go to concentration camps

[Matt Brown]

because

[Fred G.]

the orange be the gaml. Just go to Boulder and take a ski trip and get your hoo ha hoover there. You know, it's not that hard. I'm just glad that I don't have to go die to a really neat RC toy in a ditch somewhere. Now in Ukraine. That sounds way worse than a ski trip. You know, I'd much rather stay home and goon to the tocktard whores when they ain't crying and cry a little bit myself when I come too soon on accident. Shit, I'd volunteer at them camps to send these hussies left or right. Am I right, Kamagadin? I mean, fellers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nah, that's what you get Nina for,

[Fred G.]

you know, nexting me on Bumble. You bitch.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, okay, Fred go. Am I saying that right? Go, Geo.

[Fred G.]

It's supposed to be a G and then a dot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

G. Dot. Oh, Fred G. Yeah, Fred G. But you did the dot. You made a little circle.

[Fred G.]

Yeah, instead of be cute.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, okay. Well, I mean, that's where being cute gets you. It turns into Fred Go.

[Fred G.]

Yes, sir.

[La Mer Lee]

Let's go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right, Fred. So how long you been doing stand up, Fred?

[Fred G.]

This is my third time on stage.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Good, good, I'm glad. Anything else would have been crazy. So where are you from?

[Fred G.]

I'm from Germany.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, you're originally from Germany?

[Dusty Carter]

Yes, sir.

[Fred G.]

I grew up there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old were you when you moved to America?

[Fred G.]

I was like two years ago. So 25.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have no accent whatsoever?

[Fred G.]

No. I can put one on for you if you'd like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is incredible. That is amazing. How do you have no accent whatsoever? How do you. What do you attribute that to? Did you only hang out with English speaking people there?

[Fred G.]

Yeah, my dad's American and Germans are fucking retarded. And where I'm from, where I'm from, there's like a bunch of army bases, so there's a bunch of GIs around, so that's who I hung out with.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your dad was in the army?

[Fred G.]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And were you?

[Fred G.]

No, I was in the German army, which is a fucking joke, you know.

[La Mer Lee]

You were a Nazi?

[Fred G.]

No one ever said that. No one claimed that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you were really in the German army?

[Fred G.]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

For how long?

[Fred G.]

Six months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What did you do in the German army?

[Fred G.]

I was a mountaineer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, what exactly does a mountaineer do?

[Fred G.]

Climb on hills, basically infantry. But you, like, climb on hills and do knots and shit.

[Heidi]

You just get to like a high point to look for Jews or like.

[Matt Walker]

What do you do?

[Fred G.]

No, they got rid of all of them. There's no. They're like, they. They keep them in the valleys, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So just bust out the yamaculars and look for the. That is incredible. So you're just up there in mountains. It sounds pretty miserable.

[Fred G.]

It's not. It's just. It's. The German army is a fucking joke when you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When you say that. What do you mean? It's a joke?

[Fred G.]

Like, they don't shoot a lot. They shoot like once a year. And if you're a soldier, you're supposed to, like, probably shoot more than once a year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you shoot once a year?

[Fred G.]

Plastic guns that they started massive scandals over and they're dog shit. And everybody's in denial because the German government is a fucking joke.

[Heidi]

Well, do you think it's because they had a girl president?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, you seem weird as Fred. Tell us more. Tell us more about you. Tell us more Weird things about you, Fred.

[La Mer Lee]

I saw at the food trucks. He was. He was with a gentleman caller. Fred's freaky as, dude.

[Fred G.]

I gave him a knife.

[La Mer Lee]

Freaky ass bull, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This Is true what you're saying? You really saw him at a food truck? Yeah.

[La Mer Lee]

Chatted about guns. He's freaky as.

[Heidi]

That's the mayor's military detail you were scouting the food,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The infantry.

[La Mer Lee]

He gave me a good gun, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Fred G.]

Sir, yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of gun?

[Fred G.]

I think I recommended him. Like a Glock 43X.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Okay. Why did you recommend that to him exactly?

[Fred G.]

Because he needs to carry it around with him.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Heidi]

This is what Kamala was afraid of.

[Matt Walker]

Dude,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is amazing. I feel like this is what people thought the podcast was three weeks ago when they heard about it for the first time. Like, oh, this guy probably talks to Nazis. It's like, well, I guess now, coincidentally, we are, for the first time ever, our first Nazi ever on the show. Happens just organically. So, Fred, is there anything you miss about Germany, Love about America? What's going on in your head?

[Fred G.]

I miss the food and the beer. Yeah, that was awesome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But what kind of German food do you miss?

[Fred G.]

Do you know what MET is? It's basically just raw pork on a roll.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Raw pork on a roll. That's definitely not a Jew food. No raw pork on a roll. Can you imagine? Unbelievable.

[Fred G.]

It's delicious.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That sounds like you could get, like, a disease from eating raw pork.

[Fred G.]

We have very strict regulations.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Michael, the courtesy laugh at your German accent.

[La Mer Lee]

You know how grandmas make food with love? Grandmas make that with hate and exclusively hate.

[Fred G.]

You can taste the hate.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, Fred, have you ever committed a crime?

[Fred G.]

Public intoxication.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Is there ever a crime that you almost committed and then you talked yourself out of it at the last second?

[La Mer Lee]

Crystal knock.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because you seem like a guy that has some wild ideas. I feel like you've come close to some weird shit before.

[Fred G.]

I suppress my ideas with alcohol.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, you live here in Austin now?

[Fred G.]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And what made you move to Austin, Texas, exactly?

[Fred G.]

Guns and comedy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, that is. You're a wild boy, Fred.

[Fred G.]

Thank you, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm just glad that you. You're. That you're. That we're on your good side always. Absolutely. All right, well, Fred, Matt, anything else for Fred?

[Billy Swift]

No, I don't.

[Heidi]

I think we got to the bottom of them, Fred.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm going to give you this little joke book. Who knows? Maybe he'll come back one day and grow up to be big joke book. He loves you guys. We love Freddie. There he goes. Fred, go. Ladies and gentlemen, Fred, go. There's the. How about a hand for the lovely Heidi, huh? I mean, unbelievable. All right, your next Bucket pool, coming out with a new minute. It goes by the name of Nick James, everybody. It's Nick James. Here he is.

[Nick James]

Yes, my name is Nick James, but that's actually just a stage name. My real name is French. It's hard to pronounce. But I'll help you guys out here real quick. So my last name is spelled P H A G, G, OT it's pronounced Pago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep.

[Nick James]

But I guess to everyone else I'm just a. But you guys think that's bad. My first name isn't even Nick. It's actually a cocksucker. Let me tell you something. Can't get very far in this business. You're just some run of the mill cocksucker.

[Brian Redban]

You know,

[Nick James]

the funny thing is, you know, people were calling me that before I even told them my name. Actually, that was ridiculous. So I don't have much time left, but I'll tell you a quick story. Oh, never mind. All right, thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go. Nick James coming out. A lot of bleeps there.

[La Mer Lee]

Dude, you're dripped up. You got the black camo stripes, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, sheesh. I was pulled out at the Walmart

[La Mer Lee]

before you come here. Dude, sheesh.

[Heidi]

Yeah, between him and the last guest, we had the whole fall collection. Dude,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fall spelled P H A L,

[Nick James]

L. Okay, all right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yes. When you saw that jacket for sale, what exactly went through your mind?

[Nick James]

I. I thought, wow, 1999. That's a steal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What? Yeah, that's the year that that came out.

[Heidi]

No, he saw it. He's like, no one will think I'm

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

a faggot if I wear this. It is amazing. It really is. It's like part camo, part just jet black. It's absolutely wild. It's like you could hide in bushes and just, like, do, like, puppet shows or something.

[Heidi]

Now that's for dads to show they're a little bit racist. That's just that little.

[La Mer Lee]

Just a little sleep.

[Nick James]

Hey, who said I was a little bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your least favorite race?

[Nick James]

Oh, God. Part of that one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, it's okay, Nick. We're gonna let you off the hook. You've been on this show before. I remember your face.

[Nick James]

Yeah. Fourth time now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fourth time. Oh, yeah. Wow. How's it been going for you? People recognizing you out there? Yeah.

[Nick James]

Not for the right reasons, though, right? Yeah. Let's just say I didn't do very well the last two and a half times I was on here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right, right. So how's life been going? What do you do for work?

[Nick James]

I. I write Parking tickets.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, whoa. All right, all right. Listen to this crowd. Here in Texas, we don't like that.

[Nick James]

I'm gonna rate all of you a ticket later off.

[La Mer Lee]

Wow, I'm so glad your last name is Fat.

[Nick James]

Yeah, yeah, they call me that when I write them up, too. It's weird. How do you know Nick?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have you been doing that for?

[Nick James]

For almost a year now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. What are some of the situations that you've got yourself in? I can't even imagine what it's like out there.

[Nick James]

See, I totaled my car one minute into the job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, you know, how did you total your car one month into the job? It was one of those little patrol cars. One of the little.

[Nick James]

No, it was my own personal car. So, like, so basic. So, like, you know, I'm still getting, you know, used to the job and whatnot. You know, I'm not used to the confrontation of, you know, people finding out I wrote them a ticket.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sure, I understand what you're saying exactly. I mean. I mean, who is used to any confrontation like that, right?

[Nick James]

Anyway, trig.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I.

[Nick James]

Ticket. God damn it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, you didn't total your car on some innocent guy walking down the street, did you? No, Still got it. Still in the zone.

[Nick James]

I would have got a better deal on my insurance then, but no. Basically, I was in a parking garage. I forgot to straighten out the wheel, car pillar. You know, I was in a hurry to get away from a guy I just. Whose day I just ruined. So, you know, it was my fault. I deserve it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, so you totaled your car at. When you were at work. What are some of the confrontations that you get into?

[Nick James]

Let's see. I mean, it's. Usually it's just homeless guys asking me for a dollar, but, like, you know, like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nick, I'm talking specifically that you're beating around the bush here. You're talking about homeless people, your own personal car accidents. You write tickets for living. We all see it. Every day someone goes, hey, that's my car. I pay for. Like. That's what I'm talking about, Nick. I can't believe I have to spell it out for you. The shitty shit. Part of the shitty job that you have is what people are interested in knowing about. What's some of the worst stuff that's happened to you while executing a ticket on the street, doing your job, getting

[Nick James]

yelled at by uppity white women. You know, that's. That's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, what's. Is there not a moment or a part of a story or a line that you Remember from any of this.

[Nick James]

I mean, they all kind of blur together. Just so many of them, you that you know that don't like it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anyone ever offer you a sexual favor to get out of the parking ticket?

[Brian Redban]

1.

[Nick James]

One person asked me, like, was a

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

woman ever like, I will suck your tiny if you don't give me this ticket?

[Nick James]

I could write my own ticket then.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But no. You almost answered. What was one? That maybe one offered you something?

[Nick James]

Like, one guy did offer me a bribe, but it was

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

even. I wasn't expecting you to be that big of a. You know what I mean?

[Nick James]

Damn.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You didn't say it was capital P, H, A, G, G, O, T. Okay, now, what did the guy offer you?

[Nick James]

$20.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa. Isn't that ticket like 40 bucks out here, though?

[Nick James]

Not the ones I write. They're like $92, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa.

[La Mer Lee]

Boo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This man, the $92 ticket man, with the amount of money of one of his tickets, he could buy almost five of those jackets he's wearing. Why are your tickets $92?

[Nick James]

Because it's like a. It's like a private lot. It's not like, for the city.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.

[Nick James]

It's a good job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. It's a good job. How much did they pay you?

[La Mer Lee]

Actually, dude, thank you for your service. For real, though. Like, give it up to them. For real. Thank you for your service. But also, boo. Dude, that sucks

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

when you say thank you for your service, Lamare.

[Heidi]

What are you talking about, dude?

[La Mer Lee]

I mean, he's doing a service, dude, he's doing it.

[Heidi]

No, he's not. His tickets go to one guy. They don't even go to the city.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They go to a La Mer Lemaire. Totally forgot everything about this interview. Looked up, saw the camo, is like, thank you for your service. Man, That weed is hitting hard over there. La Mer. This guy's been up here for seven minutes. Lamar's like, you're in the army. Thank you, dude. But seriously, bro, sorry about your brother. He's just mashing everybody that's been up here together right now. All right, Nick. Well, you already have a little joke book.

[Nick James]

I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Nick James]

I have several little jokes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have several. How do you have several little joke books?

[Nick James]

You just kept throwing them at.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I did do well.

[Heidi]

You did do well.

[Nick James]

Oh, thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

With joke books at. I threw multiple. What made me throw multiple joke books at you?

[Brian Redban]

Him.

[Nick James]

Let's see. First time I did, you know, not good enough, I guess.

[Ari Mattie]

Yeah.

[Nick James]

Second time I was weird, and then third time I just bombed.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I have good news for you. Zippix Nicotine Toothpicks has given us some amazing new Nicotine toothpicks. Zip more, smoke less. This is Spice island clove flavor, if you want to pass that on down.

[Nick James]

Oh, hell, yeah, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, there he goes. Nick James, everybody. There he goes. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna keep it moving along. Make some noise for your next bucket pull. He goes by the name of C. Wayne. C Wayne. Here we go.

[C. Wayne]

What's up, Austin? How we doing? Okay. I didn't expect as many white people. My apologies. Let me go ahead and address the elephant in the room real quick. No, I am not a rapper. You did not see me on YouTube with a Draco. It's crazy, man. Despite being a comedian, my biggest fear is getting very, very famous. There's a fear of mine. Cause cancel kosher. You can be counseled at any time. I got some jokes that'll get me counsel that I never tell. But I'm gonna tell them tonight on Kill. Tony, real quick. What do you call white people that buy small amounts of weed? Graham crackers. Look, look, I'll be canceled before Tuesday. I'll be canceling before I even hit the scene, to be fair. What do you call black people that buy small amounts of weed? Broke ass nigga. Cause look, if we got some money, we gonna buy us a little sack or two. You know what I'm talking about? Shit's crazy as hell. Shout out to everybody all my weed heads out there.

[La Mer Lee]

Yo, Tony, can we buy weed on YouTube?

[Brian Redban]

Can we do this?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's not done.

[C. Wayne]

All right, look, between me and you, if you need a 3, 5 at the show, by the bathroom, by the little homeless dude with the two dogs. Not the one dog.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah. That part of the show's gonna be on BET next week. How about a hand for C. Wayne, everybody? La Mer cut you off. Little black on black violence there. Cut off by your own. You're good, little sister lair.

[C. Wayne]

Happy to be here, Mayor.

[Heidi]

Trying to hold him down. That's up, dude.

[C. Wayne]

Yeah, bro.

[La Mer Lee]

No, I got excited. He was selling weed. I'm sorry. Allegedly.

[C. Wayne]

Allegedly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing stuff, C. Wayne. Where you from?

[C. Wayne]

I'm originally from Galveston County. Shout out to the 409.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Shout out to the what?

[C. Wayne]

The 409.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

409. I'm going to write that down. Never heard that one.

[C. Wayne]

I live in San Antonio right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. San Antonio. All right. Okay. How long you been doing stand up?

[C. Wayne]

Since 2017. So it's my year. Seven right now, okay. Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Seven years. All right. And you mostly talk about like you have like one liners mostly type of thing. What do you call white people like that?

[C. Wayne]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. I have some. What do you call Indian peoples? And dancing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, let's hear how many you want to hear is what do you call Indian peoples? Let's give the people what they want. Let's go. What do you call them Indian peoples?

[C. Wayne]

What do you call your Indian friend that you call on the phone? Tech support.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nah, nah, what?

[C. Wayne]

I'm sorry, that might have been the wrong group. What do you call your Hispanic friend after 9:00'?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Clock?

[C. Wayne]

A food truck. Look, now just. I'm sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay? All right. Be careful. You're gonna end up getting canceled out of Seaway.

[C. Wayne]

That's what I'm saying. That's how I led this situation.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

C. Wayne, what exactly do you do for a living? How do you make money?

[C. Wayne]

I actually produce comedy shows in San Antonio, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[C. Wayne]

A shout out to Holly Toxin Entertainment, man. We do comedy shows every Friday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Shout out.

[C. Wayne]

Shout out, man. Shout.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Love it. Absolutely. And how long you been doing that for?

[C. Wayne]

We've been running that since the summer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a weekly show.

[C. Wayne]

Yes, it is a weekly show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What were you doing before this summer in order to make money?

[C. Wayne]

Well, before this summer I was running spring shows. So we was doing a lot of. A lot of spring work, you know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm starting to figure out why you have all these jokes about people buying a small amount of weed.

[C. Wayne]

Facts.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do for fun, C. Wayne?

[C. Wayne]

For fun? I like to play a little basketball. Joke.

[La Mer Lee]

Right.

[C. Wayne]

You know what I'm saying? Troll people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What did you say after basketball? I said I like to play basketball

[C. Wayne]

and troll people in real life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay.

[C. Wayne]

Yeah, yeah. Not on the Internet though. That's just bullying.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right? Right. How do you troll people in real life?

[C. Wayne]

Hey, man, how you doing?

[La Mer Lee]

I'm good. How are you?

[C. Wayne]

I'm good, man. Who'd you vote for? I already know. No, I'm just kidding.

[Heidi]

Can I ask an innocent question? Is this the latest in black eye gene technology? No, I'm dead serious. I was curious.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is incredible.

[Heidi]

I know you guys had straps for a while now. The gully suit, it's nice.

[C. Wayne]

Rips are like piercings, you know. At first two was cool, right? Now you end up with 36 and we're just out here making trends, you know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is incredible.

[C. Wayne]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That looks like a most definitely Goku hat.

[La Mer Lee]

It kind of rips dude, the what? It's a Goku hat. This is Goku, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're talking about what's on the back side of his baseball cap right now.

[Heidi]

See, the back of his head?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dude, Lemaire is specifically doing jokes for the Mexican part of the band right now. Hey, what up with that Goku hat, though? Roasted. For those of you with eyes in the back of your head. He just got roasted. No, but seriously, though, your pants look like liberal women's arms after the past three weeks, the cutters have been cutting one little slit at a time for your new king Dictator first of his name. All right. See, Wayne, what kind of big booty bitches. You begin. I know it's the only option. So the question is, like, what shade of big booty? Like, what color?

[C. Wayne]

Or the ones with tattoos over their bullet wounds?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, hell, yeah. You are indeed living in San Antonio. 409 represent gold. Gggggg. Galveston, Texas.

[C. Wayne]

Yeah, most definitely.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy. You like the Latinas?

[C. Wayne]

Yeah, Latinas are cool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your favorite?

[C. Wayne]

My favorite Latino?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, black. Sure. If you have an answer to that. What is your favorite Latina?

[C. Wayne]

I mean, it's like different ones. It's like the Hot Chip Latinas, and then this is like the Tall boot in the Summertime Latinas, and then it's like the Spanglish Latinas. It depends on what we talking about here. Like, you know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You can be whatever you want to be.

[C. Wayne]

You can be exactly whatever you want to be.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. C. Wayne. What scares you, C. Wayne? You have any weird fears? Red Band is on fire, ladies and gentlemen. The soundboard is booming.

[C. Wayne]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely incredible. I just heard C. Wayne mutter the words I can't breathe. As soon as he heard. As soon as he heard the siren. Oh, my goodness gracious. This show is out of control. I can't believe you said that. The second that the siren came out.

[C. Wayne]

Hey, that's messed up. Cause I really had asthma till I was 12. That's just up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And then what? Then it just went away.

[C. Wayne]

It just went away.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[C. Wayne]

Well, our food stamps got cut off, so I got skinny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That makes sense.

[C. Wayne]

Y' all not supposed to laugh at that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Were both of your parents in? Help raise you? Were they both in?

[C. Wayne]

I was raised by my grandmother.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, perfect.

[Heidi]

So neither.

[C. Wayne]

Yeah, 0 for 2.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's correct.

[C. Wayne]

Oh, for 2. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have a cool name for your grandma. What do you call her when you're hanging out with your homies?

[C. Wayne]

Funny thing, I. I call her Granny, but her name is Billie Jean.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Look at that. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Facts.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[C. Wayne]

True story.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Okay. And she was there. She would like make you breakfast or whatever.

[C. Wayne]

Oh yeah, yeah. But when you being raised by your grandmother, breakfast isn't at regular breakfast time. You had to eat eggs and toast and bacon at 4:30 in the morning in my house. So yeah, yeah, you got up pretty early. Like before.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

God, before I let you. Before I let you go. C. Wayne, what's your nightlife like? You seem like the kind of guy that. That spins vinyls every once in a

[Brian Redban]

while or something like that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Curious what you do for fun at nighttime.

[C. Wayne]

At night I'm usually honestly somewhere at a comedy show, man, trying to make sure everything is being produced correctly. Trying to make sure, you know what I'm saying? All the black people get in and just trying to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. That's the opposite of what I do at my shows. Someone's gotta do it. I'm glad you're running it down in San Antonio.

[C. Wayne]

I appreciate that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Give these Austin blacks somewhere to go to see a comedy show, you know what I'm saying? Bad news is we're sold out. Good news, San Antonio is just 50 minutes that way.

[C. Wayne]

We went down the street.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

C. Wayne, welcome to the Kill Tony world. Here's a big joke book coming at you. Seaw, ladies and gentlemen, with a one handed catch specially reserved for specific types of people that are good at catching things made of leather. Wow. The lovely Heidi. All right, another bucket pool. We're flying through him here tonight.

[Heidi]

Can I.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes, hold on one second.

[Heidi]

He keeps like going at the lane. It's crazy.

[Nick James]

Wow.

[Heidi]

He blew her kisses the first time. Then he went.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You okay? Guy in the white hat. What's up? What's going on? What? You can't help yourself? Wow.

[Heidi]

Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's going on? What's going on with you? When's. When's the last time you think you busted a nut? You got a lot of pent up energies over there. You jerk off today or recently? Four months ago. Oh, Jesus. Yikes. This guy's about to wet his pants live.

[Heidi]

Sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

First ever live nut buster sting from an audience member. Red band is a sound effect away from making this guy come in his pants. What do you got over there? You think you can make him. Oh, whoa. His eyes just rolled in the back of his head. All right back. Good observation though. I'm gonna keep an eye on that for the next Heidi appearances. This guy's out of control over here. All right, your next bucket pole goes by the name Of Matt Walker, everybody. We're having fun in here tonight. 60 seconds from Matt Walker. Girl,

[Matt Walker]

Universe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's up?

[Brian Redban]

What's the joke?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, man.

[Matt Walker]

So growing up, I'm sure everyone has that strange uncle. So growing up, I'm sure everyone has that one weird uncle. My weird uncle used to tell us these crazy ass ghost stories. And when we get too scared, he would tell us, if you're so scared when you fall asleep, you know, just fall asleep facing the wall. So if a ghost comes in the middle of night, you won't see him. And one night, you know, I fell asleep over there and I must have forgot the rule. And sure enough, I felt this like ghost like presence hovering above me. And I woke up, you know, and I have this strange ghost like figure making these weird noises. So I fucking freaked out. And I faced the wall. I said, go to sleep, bro.

[Billy Swift]

Go to sleep.

[Matt Walker]

And I woke up the next morning and it must have been real because I had all this like ghost slime on the back of my head. And so I freaked out. I ran downstairs. My cousin, I said, bro, you'll never guess. There was a ghost in my room. And he touched the slime and he goes, oh, dude, what a coincidence. When dad drinks a lot, I know a ghost slime in my butt. That's it, guys.

[Heidi]

Thank you.

[Billy Swift]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. I gotta tell you, unbelievable timing. Matt Walker, exactly one minute. For a guy that came out guns ablaze and speaking four feet behind the microphone, your timing is incredible.

[Heidi]

I think he talked into the mic with his hairline at first. That was just.

[Matt Walker]

Hey, man, gotta keep it glued down, bro. I used to when I was a kid, I would pray to keep the hairline, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is going on up there? Dude, what the hell the do you think you're doing with that? Dude, I don't know, man. I'm trying to.

[Matt Walker]

Trying to work with what I got left, I guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dude, it ain't working, bro. Holy.

[La Mer Lee]

Bro, wait, dude, you gotta. The hairline is a distraction. Look at his chin.

[William Montgomery]

It's a. I don't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When lair is pointing out multiple things that's physically wrong with you. You're in deep, dude.

[La Mer Lee]

Yeah, you look like a billy goat.

[Heidi]

Your goatees are receding too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So I figured it out. Okay, Matt, let's talk about. This is your first time trying stand up, correct?

[Matt Walker]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes. Awesome. Congratulations. There it is again. So, Matt, let's just jump right into it. How old are you?

[Matt Walker]

I am 38 years old, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

38 years old. You started today. What made you want to start today at 38?

[Matt Walker]

I've been doing just working construction, appliance repairs, stuff like that, and just. Yeah, just spinning the wheels, man. Look for something bigger, better, faster, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Matt Walker]

For an opportunity.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely.

[Matt Walker]

I figure the first time you almost got cancelled. We got Hans Kim out of the deal, so this next time you get canceled, I figured my haircut, my facial hair.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why? Because your hair is garbage. Puerto Rican. Because you say that? Because we should cut your hair out of a constituency of the. All right, okay. Let's, let's keep working with this for a second.

[Matt Walker]

Let's do it.

[La Mer Lee]

Let's go bald. Dude.

[Matt Walker]

I, I, I mean, I comb it different ways. Sometimes I part it, comb it back, you know.

[Heidi]

You ever slick it back before?

[Matt Walker]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Matt. I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you, Matt. And I'd imagine since it's still there in any form whatsoever, I'd imagine that your hair is something that you really love and are really holding on.

[Matt Walker]

Yeah, bro, I really am. I really.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I gotta tell you, Matt, we've been doing this show a long time. There's never been anyone that came out and just got a hard laugh from the audience and the panel.

[Matt Walker]

I didn't know what the joke was, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dude. Bro, you must be chilling by yourself a lot. I have. You must not have one real friend in the world.

[Matt Walker]

I killed it, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you hang out with people? You have, like, a social life? You hang around with the same people?

[Matt Walker]

Yeah, bro. Close. My family and stuff, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're close with your family. You have, like, buddies. You have, like, buddies that you watch sports with or anything? Like, kind of like manly men or, like. Yeah. What do they bust your balls about? They ever make jokes about you?

[Matt Walker]

They've busted my balls about my hair since I've been in junior high, bro. Combing it forward, like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So why do you stick with it? You seem like you would ever.

[Matt Walker]

Bro, I feel good about myself. I, I don't have a problem with it. You know what I mean? I'm that, Hey, I truly do, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like, it doesn't. There's a lot of people clapping here, but let me tell you something. You should have a problem with it, Matt.

[Matt Walker]

I get, you know, standing out, Even, like, standing out there in line, bro. I mean, I get constantly getting eye contact from girls. I'm the best.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not for the, the. It's not.

[Matt Walker]

I don't know, bro. I don't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that Edgar? No. Okay.

[Matt Walker]

I can't jump on the boat of. I just can't, you know, I Feel good about myself, bro.

[La Mer Lee]

There's no way.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, stop saying that. You know, you're ruining all the jokes by saying that.

[Matt Walker]

Sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let me ask you something. Where does it start? Back there, right?

[Matt Walker]

Like, this is real. This.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's not the widow peak to here.

[Matt Walker]

But the rest, like, here is all filled in and swooped over, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like, can you. Can you.

[Matt Walker]

Forwards and then swooped over like that.

[La Mer Lee]

Can I make a case for you cutting your hair?

[Matt Walker]

I will not. I would never cut. I broke.

[Billy Swift]

My brother. My brother shaved his.

[La Mer Lee]

Can I make a pretty good point now?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I have a couple.

[La Mer Lee]

You have a pretty good head shape, so it would look bad bald. And also, you got such beautiful eyes, dude.

[Matt Walker]

Like, Yeah, I think that's what carries me, bro, is the eyes.

[La Mer Lee]

Honestly, people will notice the eyes and then the chin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, the chin's not that bad. The chin's not that terrible. But let me tell you something, dude. You do have good eyes. I agree with Lamar. And people are. People are staring at that thing on top of you. You're. You're like, hey, my eyes are down here.

[Heidi]

Have you ever thought of becoming a Franciscan monk?

[Matt Walker]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is your love life like, Matt Walker? Are you getting a lot of.

[Matt Walker]

I've been with the girl I'm with. I've noticed in second grade. I've been with her since. For 15 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Matt Walker]

Got four kids.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Ari Mattie]

I got three.

[Matt Walker]

Three little girls and a little boy. She had. She had two girls from a previous relationship that I've raised since they were, like eight months old, three years old.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A couple real laughing at that.

[Matt Walker]

Something that's also a little, I guess, out of the ordinary. I've never. I've always lived with my parents. I've never moved out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You still live with your parents. Wow. You're holding on to that too, huh?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you comb them forward Sometimes. All right. Wow. I mean, so you live with your parents, with your wife and four kids? Yep. Okay.

[Matt Walker]

My dad's cool as shit, bro. I mean, for him to allow that to happen is just. I owe my whole life to my dad, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. Absolutely. I agree. What. What's that like living with your parents? Do you.

[Matt Walker]

It's stressful as shit, dude. My mom is like a Fox News mom. Like, she's fucking, like, the joke that Shane Gill about smoking in the house. Like, we could not. This lady would not have stopped smoking in the house if it wasn't for the grandbabies.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And she watches Fox.

[Matt Walker]

Fox News straight that newsmax, like, the worst one, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Awesome.

[Matt Walker]

Honestly, dude, like, I don't want to get too political and. But I. My wife, dude, when that. All that was happening, like, that's what kind of made me kind of come back from that whole left, dude, is the.

[La Mer Lee]

Do you have a black scene?

[Matt Walker]

She's Mexican.

[La Mer Lee]

Okay.

[Matt Walker]

Hispanic.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hold on. I think you were about to make a good point there.

[Billy Swift]

Yeah.

[Matt Walker]

So, like, bro. Because I really was, like, I was on that fence and, like, I'm not. And I really mean this. I truly mean it's not trying to just blow smoke up your ass, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No. Yeah, I want to hear.

[Matt Walker]

I saw, like, the whole feet. I saw the whole blowback from, like. And my wife, dude. Because she's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Blowback. Is that. Are we talking about what happens when you with the windows rolled down?

[La Mer Lee]

Just.

[Fred G.]

Hello.

[Billy Swift]

Sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You should relate to Trump more than anybody with the.

[Matt Walker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whack job like that, too, dude.

[Matt Walker]

My sister, she died last year on 9 11.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, what? Your sister died on 9 11? What do we got for that? We have a sound effect for that

[Heidi]

red band, like, on, like, the 20th anniversary.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You don't have an air. You don't have an airplane. Come on, We've already heard that. Give me a good. Sister died on 911. You don't come on a plane into the building. Okay, Red band. That's obvious. How did your sister die on 9 11?

[Matt Walker]

She couldn't stop drinking, bro. She died at 41 years old. And so I stopped drinking last year on Mother's Day. Four months later, she passed. So I've been drinking a year and a half. I kind of lost my train of thought, bro. But.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But yeah, man.

[Matt Walker]

Oh, that's what it was. Yeah. So I think about that shit. Trump losing his brother at that age, and it's kind of changed my whole life, bro. My motivation, everything's changed as well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go.

[Matt Walker]

Kind of motivated me to do this shit, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So perfect. Absolutely incredible. Matt Walker.

[Matt Walker]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I gotta tell you. Oh, what did you think was gonna happen? What exactly did you think was gonna happen here tonight, Matt? You barely talked into the microphone. You know what, though? You know what, though? Since you got such a big laugh before saying a single word, I'm gonna give you not only some Zippix toothpick, but since it was your first time and you said nice things and

[Billy Swift]

we're

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

rooting for you, shave your head and come back. Only if you shave your head. Are you allowed to.

[Matt Walker]

My head, bro. To get it.

[Ari Mattie]

I'll do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Will you shave it tonight?

[Matt Walker]

I want it this much. Well, I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'll shave it tonight.

[Matt Walker]

Let's do it. I'll do it, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many of you think we should shave this guy's head and have him come back out in a little bit? Lady. Ladies and gentlemen, history is being. Let's take this, bro. Somebody shave this guy's head. We're gonna bring him out a little bit later. The unthinkable is happening. Dreams are coming true. Matt Walker has debuted on Gil Tony. Literally the worst hair in the history of the show. We're gonna get to see it shave tonight. Somebody figure out a shaving system. Oh, we're having fun here. All right, we have a special treat for y' all while we go wrangle another comedian. This is one of the most prolific regulars, ladies and gentlemen, in the history of the show. His citizenship is inevitable. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Estonian Assassin. This is a brand new minute from Ari. Mattie.

[Ari Mattie]

I'm single. A little less woozed than I expected. You know what I miss most about being in a relationship? Is it the sex. I don't give a fuck about the sexual. I miss the arguing. God, I just miss having someone else to blame. Cause when you're single, it's all my fault. Every time I fuck up, I just have to be in front of the mirror like, you piece of shit. That's the best. When you have a girl, you get to unload. You have a shit day at work when you're drawing back home, you know when you're like. You know when you're like, pre arguing, you're like. You know when you're, like building a case, you're like playing that mental chess like, oh, you're going to bring up my sister, huh? What about the cunt of a mother you have? You get home, she has that stupid face.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Honey, how was your day?

[Ari Mattie]

And you go off. How the was your day? She calls you a loser. You call her a bitch. She gets the knife from the kitchen, you hold the cat over the balcony. It's the best.

[Brian Redban]

God, I wish I had a wife.

[Ari Mattie]

Because when I'm alone, dude, when I'm alone at home, dude, when you have a wife and you hit your toe, you get to be like, who the put this? Dude, if I hit my toe, I just gotta be like

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

me.

[Ari Mattie]

Thank you very much.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

God damn it. Unbelievable. Real material. Real thunder and lightning throughout. The momentum continues with the re arrival of D Madness. The only guy that makes six entrances per show.

[Ari Mattie]

I'm sorry I let it, Wendell.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Over.

[Ari Mattie]

I'm Sorry about that. Sorry, Brian.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's. That's fantastic. First of all, Brian has nothing to do with the production of the show whatsoever. Why you would apologize to him? Nobody has any idea whatsoever. It's me. It's all me. And I love it. Is Brian ever complained to you about going too long? No.

[Ari Mattie]

I just don't want to ruin the format, you know? I want to respect the format.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You can ruin it all you want. Killing is killing. And you, my friend, are an absolute anomaly. Nobody does it quite like you. You're a goddamn sensation. Future American citizen.

[Dusty Carter]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's no question about it now. I'm in deep with this new administration.

[Ari Mattie]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, I am fully connected. I get a box delivered to me from West Palm Beach, Florida, every week now. Got a new pen yesterday. Got some new. You got a pen? Got a pen. It. Yep. I got a lot. There's a lot. Gold ashtrays. Wow. Oh, yeah. Lair.

[La Mer Lee]

You got to get Ari citizenship, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, there's no doubt about it.

[La Mer Lee]

You got to do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's on the top of my agenda.

[Ari Mattie]

This is your high.

[Brian Redban]

Holy.

[Ari Mattie]

I didn't know when he looked. I thought you got stung by a bee or something. You gotta get citizenship, dude. Just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Much like his website.

[Ari Mattie]

I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Much like his website. Lemaire is having some dot fun tonight.

[Ari Mattie]

Never seen what a bong looks like in human form.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's wrapping himself up in a hoodie right now. He is. Is looking for some type of comfort. He's forgetting that he's sweating and overheated. Actually, you've dried up a bit, Lamar. It's incredible. Someone's about to vomit. Someone's having an interior panic attack right now. How did the sweating. How did the sweating happen before the show and not during the show? Something is happening. He's getting chills right now.

[La Mer Lee]

I just need a hug, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Incredible. Are we working on shaving that guy's head? It's happening. How do we even have that technology? That's all I can think about, by the way. It's absolutely incredible. What is. What does that mean? Scissors. You're not doing scissors, are you? Clippers. Oh, we're going to my place. Oh, you have a. You have a shaver. Oh, very good. Absolutely incredible. We have. The production here is just incredible.

[Ari Mattie]

What are you happening? Somebody's getting shaved.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You didn't see the guy's hair earlier?

[Ari Mattie]

It was bad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It looked like it was sharpied on. It looked like I drew it on like that. It looked like one of those shaky guy things. With, like, the black dots that accumulate over something.

[La Mer Lee]

He had real life. Charlie brown hair is what he had.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ari, you are a special treat. I. I don't want to give too much away, but I had the chance to shoot a special show in Las Vegas that is produced by the UFC last week. Week. And I decided to take, of all people, Ari, Matty with me for this first pilot episode. And him and I had so many laughs, such a great time, from the plane ride there all the way to the plane ride back.

[Ari Mattie]

I've never met a luckier guy in a casino than you, by the way.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I do have insane. It really is.

[Ari Mattie]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I have a system. I have a thing.

[Ari Mattie]

Before we boarded the flight back home, we had like 15 minutes, and he just went to a random slot machine, put in like 100 bucks, got 700. It was like. I use it as an ATM, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it.

[Ari Mattie]

It's literally insane.

[Heidi]

I've never.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Bing, bing, bing, bing. Just the whole thing going off, people looking. Just the wheel of fortune just spinning just again and again. You put a hundred, and that was gone.

[Ari Mattie]

Fast, immediate, like, it did not like immigrants, that machine.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know. I don't know what side.

[Ari Mattie]

This is a needy pool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know what side Estonia was on in World War II, but you got bad luck, bro. You got bad karma somewhere in your generations. But we had an absolute blast. The casino literally had to rob me so that I didn't. I didn't win.

[Ari Mattie]

It was insane, dude. You having a meltdown in a casino? One of my favorite things I've seen in life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I wouldn't consider it a meltdown exactly. I would consider it fair justice.

[Ari Mattie]

Timeout for 10 minutes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But what happened?

[Ari Mattie]

Yeah, it was okay. I don't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What would you have done? Just been like, thank you, good night. A lady pulled the ball out of the slot. Red nine.

[Ari Mattie]

So he put. I don't know, roulette, but he put 500 on, like, one.

[La Mer Lee]

What is it?

[Ari Mattie]

Number nine. Did you put. Yeah, he put on 509, which is times 36, which is $72 billion or something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's. It's an insane thing to do. And I decided one. One time to take that risk. I go. I'm gonna go ballistic here. I'm going to put 500 on Red 9. And then what happened?

[Ari Mattie]

All of my net worth.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You are. You are. You are a witness to this.

[Fred G.]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You put. If I tell the story, I feel like no one's gonna believe me.

[Ari Mattie]

That ball go crazy, and it's around nine. The ball is flirting with the nine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's literally coming to nine. Yeah. Starts the trickle, starts bouncing, starts slow bouncing.

[Ari Mattie]

And then gets in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A lady appears, grabs the ball over Red 9. When the ball in the hole, as it lands in Red 9, she goes respin. We're going to roll it. And I'm literally like, what the is happening? And AR's like. I go, ari, I was so excited.

[Ari Mattie]

I literally said, tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He was so excited at the thought. Lot of me just randomly, like. Like you said, the universe kind of likes me. It was a. It was. The dealer wasn't a random woman.

[Ari Mattie]

We walked around the casino, and I'm

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

behind you, and you're exactly what is the reason they tried to cheat me out of $26,000.

[Ari Mattie]

And then he's talking to the managers and.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And I'm behind the pit boss. And I asked the pit boss for his pit boss. They reviewed the tape. They come down. I go, well, if you reviewed the tape, then you know what happened. He's like, like, I'm going to go review the tape again. It was the equivalent to the Texas Longhorns game when they threw water bottles, and then they came back and overturned the call.

[Ari Mattie]

And then the whole time he's arguing with people, I'm just standing behind, arguing with people. And a UP accent, like, where. Where, my friend? Money. You know, it literally. It literally looked like Tony betted my money. And

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

did they say a reason at all, or what was their reason for doing. Their reason for doing it? They said that in the game of roulette that there is a specific rule that happens once every great. Literally, they tried to steal my money. But their explanation was that if the ball gets stuck on the wheel, which is what the dealer originally said happened, if it gets stuck and is just rolling with the wheel, which, by the way, absolutely never happens, but if that happens and it goes around three times, it's a re roll. That's not what happened, and that's not what went down. It was actually the craziest I've ever seen in a casino, and it just so happened to happen to me. And that was nuts. And Ari's my only witness.

[Ari Mattie]

It was so much fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was so. It was so much fun. It did cost us an hour and a half of sleep. The reason why I put 500 on nine on that rolls, because I'm like, let's get the out of here. It's 2am we got to shoot a

[Matt Brown]

thing in the morning.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's do. Let's put a ribbon on it. Little did I know that I would be fighting for justice for the next hour and a half.

[Ari Mattie]

But it's so funny watching you because you know, you're at the perfect level of celebrity where people know you, they love you, but if they don't know who you are, you seem absolutely bananas.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I absolutely did. As soon as she did that, I go, time out. What the fuck just happened? And the guy at the table that didn't know me is like, it's okay. We'll just re roll. I go, you shut the up. Hold on. Hold every thought that you have in the world. I'll get back to you, sir.

[Ari Mattie]

You really started pausing. Other tables usually stood up. And when everybody stopped playing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I did not pause other tables. People will believe you if you make jokes like that. I did not pause other tables.

[Ari Mattie]

And then he walks around the casino.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My name is Tony. I did not. I would never do that. I don't know why you're saying that. I would never do that. That would be completely insane for me to do that. That would be a viral video. I wouldn't do that. If the Internet didn't exist, I might

[Ari Mattie]

do it just with a massive belt buckle that says kill.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And then your own name just literally doesn't say that. Ari's still just making jokes over the. One of our favorite parts of of the week was Dana White did something. We hung out with Dana for a second and we were amazed at how healthy he looked.

[Ari Mattie]

White next to me and Tony on the monitor, he looks so much younger. Dude. Both of us bloated. Four hours of sleep. Check.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Six cups of coffee to amazing. He comes in just filled with vitamins, lemons, glowing. And then him and I guilt ate Shake Shack at the Vegas airport. We looked for the best restaurant in the Las Vegas airport for a very long time. We settled with Shake Shack.

[La Mer Lee]

Ain't nothing wrong with little Shake Shack brothers.

[Ari Mattie]

Yeah, for you. It's a joke.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a joke.

[La Mer Lee]

It's okay, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's all right. Ari, you are the man. Absolutely incredible. Bye. I dare say, truly one of the top young rising comedians in the world. One more time for Ari, Maddie, everybody. We're having fun out here. Your next bucket pool. We're going back to normalcy. Ladies and gentlemen, lower your expectations. We have our second mat of the night. With a mat on the panel, we've had Matt Walker, who barely had hair. We have Matt McCusker, the man himself. And now the Kill Tony debut of Matt Brown, everybody. Here we go.

[Matt Brown]

Hi, guys. So I have two older brothers. One is autistic and one's a Jehovah's Witness. So I have two autistic older brothers. That's fun, right? We can laugh at Jehovah's Witnesses. They're not here. There's alcohol and fun. They can't be near this place.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is.

[Matt Brown]

This is a safe space. My autistic brother, he's cool. He's high functioning. That means he does normal stuff. Like he drives. He's not great at it, but he does it. He T boned a UPS truck a few years ago, which is, like, pretty hard to do, right? And then a few months after that, he got a job at the airport driving jet fuel trucks, which. That's terrorism if you ask me. It's like, did you check his stats? They're not great, but who else would you want fueling a jet plane besides an autistic person? Like, he really gives a fuck about that plane, you know? Thank you. He also smokes weed, which is pretty fun. I give him weed. I should say, like, that's cool, because we smoke weed together, and he becomes not autistic, which is the opposite of what happens to me. Like, smoke a joint, go to Chipotle. And I'm just like, dude, you gotta order. I'm non verbal. They all think I'm gay. All right, thanks, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A fucking amazing set. Matt Brown, welcome. Is this your first time on the show?

[Matt Brown]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You welcome. Welcome. How long you been doing stand up?

[Matt Brown]

Almost 11 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it, man. It shows. I love it when people that have been doing that long sign up for this show and come on and show their experience and.

[Matt Brown]

Got something on his shirt.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is it? What do you got over there, buddy? He's freaking out, dude. He's about to vomit right now. Oh, La Mer. Oh, my God. Little shake shack. So, 11 years. Where at? Baltimore?

[Matt Brown]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. You still live there? There?

[Matt Brown]

No, I moved here a month ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Awesome. Yeah, you're exactly where you should be.

[La Mer Lee]

Yo, Mad. Just got fired.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah?

[Matt Brown]

I got fired on my day off.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You did?

[Matt Brown]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What'd you get fired for?

[Matt Brown]

We just wanted to bring back the guy that was suspended for sexual harassment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. One day, you and they're like, get the. Get the freak back in here.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What was this?

[Matt Brown]

Job security at the Moody Center?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You do you. Are you and La Mer friends? How did you know that?

[La Mer Lee]

Oh, yeah. We've been doing comedy together. Like. Like, the whole time.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The whole time Where? He just moved here a month ago.

[La Mer Lee]

Yeah, I know, but I'M from Philly and stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay.

[La Mer Lee]

Like Lancaster. Shout out. Lancaster, Penn. Like, like 717 till I die.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right. Lamare. That. That's not going to be too long from now 7 1. 7 for 6 to 12 more months.

[Nick James]

I get it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's a little Brody.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. So.

[La Mer Lee]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, Matt, you've lived here for a month. How many times have you signed up for the show?

[Matt Brown]

Every time that it's four weeks or so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Awesome. Here it is. It's happening. What's it like over there at that place? Terrible. It is, right?

[Matt Brown]

It's worse than Purgatory. It's like it's a bunch of retards thinking they're funny just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then there's you. Sorry, just. No, you're not wrong. I'd imagine that's kind of what I had in my head. I never get to. To see it because I'm over here. I never really ask anybody about it. But an 11 year veteran, I'd imagine that'd be kind of annoying over there.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah. Especially because my girlfriend's alone with them right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, shit. Is she a comedian as well? No, no. She's just hanging out with you.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a shame that they don't. I guess that makes sense. For security reasons or whatever. They don't let, like, people come with the people that get pulled. But she'll see this on the Internet if she's still alive.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what's your plan now? You just kind of got fired from your job?

[Matt Brown]

This. I guess, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you been able to kind of make a living doing it lately?

[Matt Brown]

Not here, no. Right on the East Coast, I was fine, but I'm new here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. I Love it. An 11 year veteran. Tell us more about you. What else you been doing?

[Matt Brown]

Crying a lot? Just. I saw a homeless guy with his mom and that made me sad because my mom's dead. I was like, I would give anything to be homeless with my mom right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. There you go. Red band. Very excited about the Rosta horn on a punchline. There we go. So that made you jealous of a homeless guy? That happens every once in a while. Being jealous of a homeless guy. It can be done, you know.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah. A lot of times.

[La Mer Lee]

It's crazy to have generational homelessness. It's crazy to be homeless with your mom. Like, that's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's.

[La Mer Lee]

That's two failures. Like, that's crazy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's true.

[Matt Walker]

Yeah.

[Heidi]

You just step up on the curb. She's like, hey, honey, welcome back.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How are you? It's the saddest version of I still live with my mom, that's for sure. There's no doubt about it. Okay, Matt, any hobbies or anything other than stand up comedy?

[Matt Brown]

Basketball.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Matt Brown]

Yeah.

[Nick James]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Master of posting up underneath the hoop. Getting rebounds. I'd imagine boxing out.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah. White man ball.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely.

[Matt Brown]

Bounce passes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[La Mer Lee]

Matt loves the Spurs.

[Matt Brown]

I do. I'm Tim Duncan in the post.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just you? You guys really know each other?

[La Mer Lee]

Yeah, we're actually boys. Dude. It's crazy that we're both here right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is incredible.

[Matt Brown]

It is absolutely my apartment, like three times.

[Nick James]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're very close. I would not let Lamar in any one of my multiple bathrooms. I'm betting my whole life that you only have one bathroom. Matt Brown.

[Matt Brown]

Yep.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Lemaire might be one of the last people I would let shit in my place. Out of all the comedians I know, you might be the highest ranking. No shit. Please, guy. I'd rather you go outside and literally shit anywhere outside than inside.

[La Mer Lee]

Yeah, Tony, the smells in the lymph are a problem.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Okay, Matt. What else would we be interested to know about your entire life's history?

[Matt Brown]

Nothing. I'm not really interesting.

[La Mer Lee]

You got a cool dog named.

[Matt Brown]

Oh yeah, I got a dog.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. I'm just gonna ask La Mer.

[Matt Brown]

I'm gonna.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm gonna take over La Mer for the rest of your interview. Matt, please. My dad lair handle this cool dog named Otis. Now. Is that after Otis? Red. Getting. Okay, Very good middle name.

[Matt Brown]

Jermaine. After Jermaine Jackson.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. That's an interesting pick. What made you name him after Jermaine Jackson?

[Matt Brown]

I just wanted to raise a strong black man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. Amazing. If only Lemaire's parents wanted to do the same thing. Matt Brown, you are a true comedian. Red Band. I would love to come to your house for Thanksgiving.

[Matt Brown]

You could do that. Please.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you going to invite the funny 11 year veteran to your comedy club next week after? You can't come next week. There you go. I'll help you out. Jesus Christ.

[Matt Brown]

Good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was like the lamest invite I've ever seen.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah, I don't think he meant it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How about I give you eight minutes on my show here on Wednesday at 7pm? Does that sound fun? Okay. There you go. That's. That's how you do it. You do a little show biz. You give them something. Here's a big joke book. Fantastic Kill Tony debut. We hope to see you again. Matt Brown. Can I come over for Thanksgiving? All right. Pulled another name out of the bucket. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for the comedy stylings of Brianna Vasquez, everybody. Brianna. Here we go. Here's Briana Vasquez.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Looks like masculinity in here. Like some real dick and balls, eh? I'm from Portland, so I'm not used to this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's see.

[Brianna Vasquez]

I grew up super religious in the Pentecostal Church. Super innocent, sheltered, until I got my first massage. Just say that, man. Had me speaking in tongues and touched me in ways better than my pastor ever could. So I did what any good Christian girl would do and write a good review online. And poor guy got fired, and I haven't come since. So that's Portland for you. That's all I have. Thank you. So sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Brianna Vasquez.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Hi, Mr. Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hello, Mr. Tony. Mr. Tony. Did it move a little?

[La Mer Lee]

Dude, I want to watch it. I'm sorry.

[Brianna Vasquez]

I saw you at Shane Gillis's show in Portland.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, Brianna.

[Brianna Vasquez]

I think so, right?

[La Mer Lee]

It was. It was Nate Marshall. I'm sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. That is hilarious. Shane's other black being confused for the other one. That is amazing, what we've just witnessed here, ladies and gentlemen.

[Heidi]

That's all right, Brianna. Don't worry about it.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Thank you, man.

[La Mer Lee]

It's okay, Brianna. You can treat me as wrong as you need to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Brianna. So let's talk about it. How long you been attempting standup comedy?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Just a couple times, but this is my first time here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's your first time here for sure. But, like, you've been on, like, doing open mics.

[Brianna Vasquez]

No, this is, like, maybe one time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are. You say maybe one time, Lamar, stop. You say maybe one time like you don't know. If you've done it one time before. You would know.

[Brianna Vasquez]

I've done it one time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You did. Where was that?

[Brianna Vasquez]

At Portland, Oregon.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

At an open mic?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And how long. How much time did you do there?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Three minutes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And how did that go?

[Brianna Vasquez]

I think it went well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you said, I'm going to go to the biggest live comedy podcast in the world?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yeah, I think that we need more women, and I feel like I have a lot of stories to tell.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that what you think?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why didn't you do one of the stories that you think you should tell here tonight?

[Brianna Vasquez]

I have a lot of stories. Well, let's see.

[La Mer Lee]

Did you dance with snakes? You're Pentecostal. They do that?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yeah, I dance on the floor Soaking tongues roll on the ground.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, so like.

[La Mer Lee]

And that'll just be after our date.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Lamar losing all of. Of what he's saying into the microphone. We are slowly losing Lemaire. He is higher than his own blood sugar right now. It is incredible what's happening. We've never seen anything quite like it. I just watched his foot fall off of his leg. This is incredible. He just checked. He checked everybody. For those of you wondering, just listening to the podcast, how high is Lair? He looks. Looked to see if. If his own foot was detached from his body. After I made a joke about his foot falling off, he looked. You can't make it up.

[Ari Mattie]

He.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

With genuine concern, he looked under the table. Brianna, so you think you're the answer to the not enough women in comedy problem?

[Brianna Vasquez]

No, I just think we need more awareness. Maybe that's important thing. Sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's amazing that somehow Chris Rogers has been drawing you this entire time from right over your shoulder. It is incredible. Brianna, what do you do for work?

[Brianna Vasquez]

I'm a disability analyst.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what is. What. What exactly do you do? Because I'm technically a disability analyst as well. I know. I think I might be. I think I might be analyzing more disabilities than you.

[Brianna Vasquez]

I. Let's see. I handle disability claims, so I pay about like we pay. Pay 80 of their salary when they're off, like, having a pregnancy cancer surgery, and handle their claims.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yeah, it's pretty boring.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You talked a lot about not being around real men, about getting a massage and it being so pleasing. Sure. What's a story with your love life? You don't have life? You don't have anybody to satisfy you?

[Brianna Vasquez]

No, I do. I'm dating. He actually signed up. It's been four months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yeah, his name's Derek.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, so he's real.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yeah, he's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because he has a name.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where'd you get the hat from? Was that underneath something?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Eastern Oregon.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right. Anything crazy about you?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Eastern is okay.

[C. Wayne]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anything crazy about your life that we would find interesting? Any fun facts about you or the way you were raised?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yeah, I think I grew up in a culture, so a lot of. A lot of rules. I could only wear skirts, couldn't cut hair, couldn't, like, watch movies, couldn't drink alcohol, couldn't wear makeup.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you do that stuff now?

[Brianna Vasquez]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, great stuff. Great set. Great interview. Take this and we'll never see you again. There you go. Brianna Vasquez, ladies and gentlemen. Unbelievably rough somehow, still right now ranked the 15th funniest female comedian in the world. It's incredible. Absolutely amazing how that works. I don't know what it Is perhaps. Look at the angry women. They just don't like that joke. They'll laugh at the handicap people. They'll laugh at brothers getting hit by cars. You say women aren't funny. Just a bunch of women in glasses. Like, what the. Man, I saw you. I saw the way you looked at me. All right, Another bucket bowl. This name looks familiar. Make some noise for Billy Swift, everybody. Billy Swift.

[Billy Swift]

What is up? I. I like to smoke weed and read history because it makes me more empathetic towards history and stuff like that. And the other day I was reading and it clicked in my head of, like, it's crazy. We get to learn about history immediately. You know, on Tick. We could watch War on TikTok now, you know, it's crazy. Back in the day, people used to have to wait for books to come out to find out what that sound two countries over was. You know, you had to fucking open it up and be like, oh, shit, Hiroshima. They fucking really got them guys, you know? And I started to think, like, wouldn't it be crazy if the people we learned about in history books, you know, had the same access to technology that we do, you know? Like, could you imagine if instead of a diary, Anne Frank had a YouTube channel? My guess would be asmr. You know, Just gotta be quiet in that household. Don't wanna wake the neighbors, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Today we are going to listen to the boots downstairs. Oh, they're coming up the stairs.

[Billy Swift]

Oh, they have my family. Oh, no, they're coming for me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This might be the last time that you see any. Make sure to smash that, like, button and subscribe.

[Billy Swift]

Thank you, folks.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Billy Swift. You've been on this show before, Billy?

[Billy Swift]

Yeah, last time, actually. It's crazy. It was Matt's first solo on Kill Tony Panel. So that's crazy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, amazing.

[Billy Swift]

Back in, like, March or something.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. What are the odds of that? We have. We have Lemaire's friend being pulled out of the bucket. A guy that randomly was on the Other Hand episode.

[La Mer Lee]

Billy's my friend, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really? Are you sure? Are you just higher than God himself right now? No.

[La Mer Lee]

Billy drove me home really drunk and I wouldn't stop falling once.

[Billy Swift]

Oh, yeah?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, dude.

[Billy Swift]

I watched him take a couple drunk tumbles.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, dude. Where we saw.

[La Mer Lee]

I won $100 at poker that night, so it was a good night.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Wow. How did you win a hundred dollars? You just.

[La Mer Lee]

I don't know, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He was blacked out.

[Billy Swift]

He was blacked out just taking people's money, playing a random game of chance and Just winning. And they were so mad at him.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They hated him. Wow, Lamar, you live a wild life, dude.

[La Mer Lee]

I like to have fun, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it, dude. I love it.

[Billy Swift]

You're answering it like you're on, like, all right, we're going to pass to our news anchor on the field. Like, I like to have fun, Tony, back to you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He is saying my name while talking to me. It is incredibly weird.

[Billy Swift]

Mr. Hinchcliffe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Billy. Billy, how long you been doing stand up?

[Billy Swift]

Going on four years now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Four years? Where at?

[Billy Swift]

At Florida. I came up with Cam in Orlando.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ah, okay. How long have you lived here?

[Billy Swift]

I moved here January 1st of this past year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

First. Okay, absolutely. What do you do for a living?

[Billy Swift]

I now work at a dispensary. I now sell thca weed. I used to hang blinds and shades, but I. I don't do that anymore.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's right. I remember now. I once you went and said hanging blinds and I made a Don't worry D Madness.

[La Mer Lee]

Billy does MMA too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm sorry, wait, wait. Really? You do mma? Lamar is the best interview assistant I've ever had in my life. I could really use you.

[Heidi]

You know, it's every guy here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know how to play an instrument. Lamar, you could join the band. We could have you up here every episode. Perhaps the hambone. Perhaps. Tell us about this MMA career. Years.

[Billy Swift]

That's. It's actually crazy. I went to 10th plan today for like, the first time. I started training for the, like, in past three years, I haven't done shit. And then I went in and I got my ass kicked and puked. It was fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Billy Swift]

I trained for a long time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Lamar. Lamar has something to say about his client.

[La Mer Lee]

Very humble, but he used to train with American top team.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Matt Brown]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Okay.

[Billy Swift]

Thank you, Lamar. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. American top team. I used to train with American bottom team.

[Billy Swift]

Wouldn't know what hit him.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's right. You don't want to know what this do. Okay, Billy, what do you do for fun when you're not doing stand up?

[Billy Swift]

I pretty much. I just do drugs. I.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of drugs exactly?

[Billy Swift]

Mostly I like mushrooms a lot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, what other drugs do you do?

[Billy Swift]

I. I just. Austin gets you on coke real quick, dude, they'll get you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Austin gets you on coke real quick.

[Billy Swift]

Yes, it does.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How did that happen? Happened. Can you give me an example of how that happened?

[Billy Swift]

Last time I was visiting in October, it was around my birthday, I turned 27 and I was like, you know, I'm gonna do it. I've always talked about it. Been like, yeah, I'll do it once. And then I got really drunk on my birthday, took a hit of God dust, and it felt great. And it was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's amazing.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah.

[Billy Swift]

I always say, like, there's drugs all kind of end up. I'm not a religious guy, but it always kind of leads to God, you know, like, if you do mushrooms, you. You'll see God. If you want to talk to him, hit some weed. But if you want to be God, do cocaine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Some guys out Truth. We found the two huge cokeheads in the crowd. Coincidentally, the one that keeps clanking his teeth when Heidi comes out. A round of a teeth for Heidi. Wow. Incredible. So that makes you feel like God doing Coke on 6th Street.

[Billy Swift]

Yes. Yeah. I get to walk around with all the homeless people. I'm like, be gone. They say they just run away.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Amazing. Amazing Fucking part.

[Billy Swift]

The homeless sea out there. Dude, just in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Comedy is going good for you, Billy.

[Billy Swift]

It's picking up now. Yeah, it's been pretty good. I got a decent boost from Kill Tony and shit like that when I did the first time, but now I'm getting booked a little bit more. Trying to work in clubs as much as I can, just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you got a big joke book last time.

[Billy Swift]

Yes, sir, I did.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, you're gonna get booked a little more. Another good appearance. Billy Swift, ladies and gentlemen. Christ. Well, we are now. We're gonna wrangle another name. Oh, that's inside. Let's do that right now then, ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket pool is inside. There is an I next to the name. It could be you if you signed up, ladies and gentlemen. He goes by the name of Dusty Carter, everybody. Dusty Carter. Oh, it's one of our own. One of our own people. Make some noise for Dusty Carter, everybody.

[Dusty Carter]

So any of you fellas ever had your lady tell you after five years and a kid, you didn't want the same things anymore? Just to find out she was completely wrong. We both wanted pussy. See how that turned out for her, though? Now she's got the aids. Yeah. One in each ear. Can't hear. I told her maybe that was your problem. The whole time you didn't hear yourself coming. Hi. If you can't tell, I am not from Texas. I moved here from Kentucky. Cause I read on the Google that Kentucky had the cleanest tap water in America. I thought to myself, cleanest tap water. All these toothless cousin fuckers, I'm gone. So far, Texas is great, but if one more socially awkward motherfucker comes up talking about Am I on the spectrum? I don't care who you buy your Internet from. Quit being weird about shit. That's my type.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Dusty Carter, you did it. You work here as one of the production assistants, correct?

[Dusty Carter]

We all work for you, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, that's not true, Dusty. And a simple yes would have done. Not everybody here works for me, but again. Okay. How long you been doing stand up?

[Dusty Carter]

Five years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Five years. And you are from Kentucky. How long have you been in Austin?

[Dusty Carter]

I'm not in Austin. I live in Fort Worth. But I drive here every week. Week to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. That's incredible. It's a two and a half hour drive, right?

[Dusty Carter]

It's when you punch it in the GPS, it's exactly 200 miles from my front door to this front door.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Dusty Carter]

I've driven in the last year or 17 months, I've driven over 25,000 miles

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

back and forth to come here.

[Dusty Carter]

Yes.

[William Montgomery]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And this is. Do you sign up every week?

[Dusty Carter]

Yes, sir.

[Nick James]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Incredible.

[Dusty Carter]

This second week of July 2023, 248 people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

People signed up today. To think that you've. It's been that long and this is your first time. Incredible.

[Dusty Carter]

I believe in it. This is what you know, this is my future. Comedy is what I love.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. I love it. What do you got going on in Fort Worth, Dusty?

[Dusty Carter]

My wife is a military officer and we got moved to Fort Worth.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Kids?

[Dusty Carter]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many kids?

[Dusty Carter]

I have two biological and four steps.

[Fred G.]

Yep.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Wow. You fell in love with a woman that had four kids already?

[Dusty Carter]

She had three. I have one step kid that I still consider cuz he was real young. From my last marriage. The lady that decided she was gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Lair has picked up his microphone, ladies and gentlemen.

[La Mer Lee]

Dude, he has a step by step K.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

La Mer. Somehow I don't know where that came from. La Mer, but that was incredible. Step by step, kid. So Dusty, tell us more about you. What do you think's the most hillbilly thing about you? Your look is incredible. You look like you're from the top left corner of the GTA map.

[Dusty Carter]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like the GPS that you plug in to get here is on a four wheeler.

[Dusty Carter]

But not. Not only did I grow up in the county and birthplace of the Confederate president Jefferson Davis.

[Nick James]

Wow.

[Dusty Carter]

But I grew up in the hills in the 1990s where I had HBO but not running water.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Incredible. So what would you have to do for water? Go to the well.

[Dusty Carter]

We had a well for a while, but our house burnt down.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you are just as trash as it Gets. I love this. I love it. And when your house starts burning down if you don't have running. Little fun fact. You were. Yeah, that's thing. You just watch it go. There's really nothing you could do. Just grab the tele. You grab the tv. Grab the kids too. But the TV first.

[Dusty Carter]

Yeah. I was seven. So I took off barefooted in my Dun Duns down the street to try and get papa to help.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah. Well, when you don't have shoes, you

[Dusty Carter]

can't put them on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Damn right. That's. You finished? I started it. You finished it. That me and Dusty do a comedy duo thing every once in a while or.

[Heidi]

Can I ask you a question? What is it? So you were with somebody, you had a kid and they became gay?

[Dusty Carter]

Yeah. After five years she decided that she was interested in women and she wanted to do that polyamory thing. And I was kind of against it, but I was like, if it's going to make you happy.

[C. Wayne]

Right on.

[Heidi]

So why does she have to be with the kid anymore?

[La Mer Lee]

Anymore?

[Dusty Carter]

Well, she had a kid when I met her.

[Ari Mattie]

Oh.

[Dusty Carter]

And he was like five or six months old. And I raised him until he was in kindergarten.

[Matt Walker]

That's.

[Dusty Carter]

That's my dude. And he's now 12. And I talk to him at least once a week. That's my dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Heidi]

He lives with you now?

[Dusty Carter]

No, he lives with his dad. I have custody of my daughter. The girl that her and I had. I've had her since.

[Heidi]

Wait, were you a dude who.

[Billy Swift]

I don't.

[Heidi]

I'm trying to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My.

[Dusty Carter]

My ex wife had a child and during the pandemic she went nuts. And. And that father and myself both took our children from her because she was not in a good spot at that time. She's much now doing much better, but at the time.

[Heidi]

So she's not gay anymore?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Actually, no. How did that happen exactly? What's the order of events for her to not be gay anymore?

[Dusty Carter]

Okay, well, she was with a chick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

First of all. Let's slow it down real quick because when you said that she was interested in women all of a sudden. Sudden that you were kind of not into it, but then you let her do what she wanted. Did you hang out with the two chicks at the same time?

[Dusty Carter]

Yes, her and I and some chicks did a lot of things.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, let's talk more about that. Somehow there's a penguin involved or something like that. That's a dolphin. Oh yes, that is a dolphin. Thank you. John D's John De. A master of water animals. Not a Lot of people know that. But I knew it was a dolphin. I don't know why I said that. Let's talk about this Kentucky threesome.

[Dusty Carter]

No, this was. Yeah, this was in Louisville. It was Kentucky.

[Fred G.]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep. Okay, so.

[Heidi]

So you and all your cousins got together.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Good old Kentucky orgy. Or as we call it, a family reunion. You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah. Thanksgiving Day. Hey, we grabbed for the turkey at the same time. Let's over it.

[Dusty Carter]

Whoever gets a bigger part of the

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

wishbone gets the other bigger part of the bone. Oh my God. You dirty bastard. Okay. So, Dusty. So did you enjoy having multiple women at once? Yeah. I mean, who wouldn't?

[Dusty Carter]

I'm not gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. No. Exactly. Did it make you more of a man, you think? Did you have a beard before the threesome?

[Dusty Carter]

No, I, I, I, I was clean shaven. Shorter hair then. But I had spent a former life being, you know, I'm an ex con. I was a drug dealer, I was a meth cook. I'd done all that wild stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

La Mer.

[La Mer Lee]

I don't know. I just feel like he's making excuses for having a big dick. I don't know. That's what it sounds like to me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I am falling deeply in love with La Mer. I had a feeling this was gonna happen here tonight. This is incredible.

[Dusty Carter]

But I. I just was, you know, I was wanting to live a different kind of life. So I did it. But after a while, when she invited our third to Disney World for my daughter's fourth birthday, I was done.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because she didn't invite you?

[Dusty Carter]

No, we all went, but I just, it was too much.

[Heidi]

So you're like, this is too much goddamn pussy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The fucking Disney World and all these pussies. I don't even know shit.

[Heidi]

I don't know who to go on Space Mountain with.

[Dusty Carter]

Fucking bitches.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why was Disney World where you drew the line?

[Dusty Carter]

Because I realized that as much as she tried to say polyamory works, I can love two people equally, that I didn't feel that was happening. And I wasn't down for it. Trick. No good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. You're basically the guy carrying the bags through the airport at that point.

[Dusty Carter]

Exactly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

These.

[Dusty Carter]

So we was walking out of the Magic Kingdom and I said, told her we had already been arguing. I told her, I said, give me a kiss.

[Matt Walker]

She said, why?

[Dusty Carter]

I said, kiss me one more time in the most magical place on earth and don't ever touch me again.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My God, this is my favorite show on the Travel Channel. Just Kentucky Park Polyamory. 10pm every Thursday. Holy Matt Walker. I mean, I feel like I could interview you forever. I feel like this goes on. In fact, I will. What were you an ex con for?

[Dusty Carter]

I did. I got. I did eight and a half calendars in prison for manufacturing meth.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, look at you. Orgies and math. Breaking Bad and Breaking Bad. This is incredible. Absolutely amazing. How did you get busted making meth?

[Dusty Carter]

There was a fellow that was supposed to take a ride with me to pick something up because he owed me some money. And then he was like having excuses and I was like, that's fine, have my money when I get there. And so he made a phone call and when I pulled out of somewhere, they tried to pull me over. Over. And looking around at the felonies I was committing at that time, those lights was a mere suggestion.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you ran?

[William Montgomery]

Of course.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And what, what kind of vehicle were you in?

[Dusty Carter]

GMC? S 10. Like, was it Sonoma? Whatever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like a little pickup truck?

[Brianna Vasquez]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. And you just hit the gas out there on the Kentucky roadways?

[Dusty Carter]

Yeah. And when the brake line blew out, I hit the ditch.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's not the first time we've heard that tonight,

[Dusty Carter]

but. But I didn't let the wreck stop me, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you got 99 problems, but a ditch ain't one.

[Dusty Carter]

Nope.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely incredible. Well, Dusty, I hope you keep signing up and I hope I pull you out again sometime. Hopefully it doesn't take another year or so for that to happen. This bucket's wild, man. You know, normally this would be the part of the show where I go, no way to end an episode other than with the next guy. But ladies and gentlemen, we have a very, very special treat. I don't know how many of you have a lack of short term memory in the room, but earlier here on this show, the unthinkable happened when we were introduced to the worst haircut in Kill Tony history. And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to say hello and give a little acceptance speech with his brand new haircut. How loud can this place get for the long awaited return of Matt Walk. Holy. Dude. This is a grown man in the middle of the audience just yelled, you're gorgeous. This is.

[Matt Walker]

Thank you guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A night and day difference. So good. Thank you. Thank you, Matt. We all see how you look. I can guarantee you there's not a human in the world that doesn't think you look better now than you did earlier. I needed it.

[Matt Walker]

Thank you, Kill Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you feel?

[Matt Walker]

I feel great. I think you should branch out, do little Jenny Jones makeovers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love that Jenny Jones is the reference. A 22 year old reference, ladies and gentlemen. I'm older than I look, bro. This is incredible. It went from being your bad heroine, from being your identity, a thing that was stopping people from paying attention to you, taking you seriously to. I mean, this is what you should have looked like all along. Do you think you're gonna go back to the Sharpie marker?

[Matt Walker]

I don't.

[Matt Brown]

I won't, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No. This is incredible. This is incredible.

[Matt Walker]

I appreciate it, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Honestly, I'm kind of pissed because I realized I might be a year away from shaving my head too. That's quite sad. I feel like it's a beautiful head. Matt, what do you think your. Your latest ladies gonna say?

[Matt Walker]

I think she'll be happy with it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Matt Walker]

I think when she sees the episode, she'll be clowning on me too, you know, Give me. Maybe she's been holding back, you know,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Everybody's been holding back, bro. You walked into a chamber of truth here tonight and I. I mean, I

[Matt Walker]

didn't know what everybody was laughing about when I first walked out, bro. I'll be honest, I had no clue.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is beautiful. It is seriously the most undeniable physical and perhaps any type of change I've ever seen anybody go through in a single episode. You seem happier. And he's funny now. Yeah, John D's just said you're funny now.

[Matt Walker]

Thanks. Well, yeah, bro. There you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Incredible. You know what I'm gonna do? Since you were such a good sport about this and clearly that really meant the world to you, holding on till the very last second. But because you were such a good sport, we have these more Zippix here. There's these mocha Sipics. Mocha flavored. Now this is supposed to be one of the best flavor of nicotine toothpicks. No. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to give you an in one month. Let's see another new minute. Automatically. You don't have to worry about signing up. Wait a month and I can guarantee you that the people will be highly looking forward to that set in a month. Talk to Yoni. We'll give you an exact date. And there he goes, Matt Walker.

[Matt Walker]

Thank you, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, come on. That is. That might be. In the history of makeovers. That might be both the easiest makeover and the most effective makeover of all time.

[William Montgomery]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Kill Tony. Changing lives for all types of different disabilities. I just shot a snot rocket out of my nose laughing at that.

[La Mer Lee]

I threw.

[Heidi]

I almost did too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I didn't have to say disabilities there, but God damn it. Oh, what a great fun app. You guys have a fun time tonight. Well, it is that Time to put a ribbon on it. And there's only one way to do it. Ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen, I present to you the Virginia Vermouth. The Kentucky Derby. The Memphis Strangler. The Vanilla Gorilla. This is the Big Red Machine, William Montgomery.

[William Montgomery]

Damn, I'm starting to think my ass should have made a sex table.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ray J.

[William Montgomery]

And by the way, Tony, you know I ain't ever gonna shave my hair back. Whoopi Goldberg is so mad Trump got elected that she claims she is now refusing to have sex. Hey, Whoopi, I'm mad, too. In fact, I'm so mad Trump got elected that I'm now refusing to play in the NFL. Ain't nobody trying to have sex with Jo. Old ass. Liam Payne, ex member of the popular boy band One Directionally Direction, recently jumped off the third floor balcony to his death. One Direction. Yeah. Straight down. An Oregon government official was recently suspended for hiring people based on their qualifications rather than their sexual orientation. Okay, that's the joke. Just literally the. The headline there. Okay, that's my time to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, the record holder for all time new minutes. The record holder for all time interview Hughes, the reigning defending hall of famer. He is the Jon Jones of the Kel Tony universe. Undefeated, absolutely strategic brilliance.

[William Montgomery]

Tony. I had the best weekend of my life. I went down to Gainesville, Florida, and I did. I want to set the record straight. I. I did go to the University of Tennessee. I am a Tennessee fan, but in my heart, I grew up loving the Florida Gators and I was able to go down. It really was such a pleasure. And I was able to go to the game. And Florida beat Florida, beat Ole Miss. They were able to. I. To get out on the field. It was such a wonderful. It really was a dream come true. It was a wonderful weekend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So were you. Did you really go to the game?

[William Montgomery]

I really went to the game. It was wonderful. Some man. It actually was kind of scary. Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Some man.

[William Montgomery]

Right when I sat down, somebody started saying, oh, my gosh, this guy's having a heart attack. And it was. Some old guy just slumped over. And I'm thinking, oh, my God, I haven't been to Gainesville in 20 fucking years. And some old fucking idiot is about to mess up my experience at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. But it ended up. It was okay. They ended up escorting him out. And then, Tony. I stayed at an Airbnb. Get this the thing was, I don't know, it was this. It was the smallest television, Tony. It looked like a, like a computer monitor or something. And I'm thinking to myself, what I, I. Aren't televisions pretty cheap now? I mean, can't you get a pretty big television for like $200?

[La Mer Lee]

It's like, how big was the television, William?

[William Montgomery]

We're talking. Probably a 24 inch television.

[La Mer Lee]

That's too small.

[William Montgomery]

I know. Yeah, it was, we. It was very small. I was just thinking that this was a woman, she could probably put a bigger television in here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was it like elevated up on a wall or something? Or was it kind of like close to you? Was it a big room?

[William Montgomery]

It was on a dresser and there wasn't a lot of stuff in the dresser. I went through everything in the Airbnb, I went through everything. There was a bunch of kids stuff. And it seems like the lady was staying there there and her kids were there. Everybody was there. And I would look out the window some and every now and again somebody would catch me looking at them and I'd have to. It was weird. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you ever thought to the game?

[William Montgomery]

I was just looking out of the blinds for a lot of the time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

William, have you ever thought that maybe you're the creepy guy? Why are you always looking out of blinds?

[William Montgomery]

Curious to see what's on the other side of the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It comes up, up like once, once a week. Like you're always like looking out your curtains and stuff. Like your head looking out of curtains is scary. You are like a young version of the old man from Home Alone that like shovels the snow. You look like a young version of that guy. Old man shovel Slayer, I think it is, right?

[William Montgomery]

He was very nice. He took Kevin to that church where his granddaughter was singing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He was very nice man. But there was a dark side to him. He would go through the drawers of Airbnbs and whatnot. Yeah. Kids stuff. Playing with kids stuff looking out of his blinds.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah. But the game was fun. And the, the show I did on Sunday, it was fun, but there was this, this horrible. She was drunk and it was some place. It wasn't like a comedy club. It was just some, some venue where they were doing this show and they didn't have. I feel like at a comedy club they would have kicked this woman out and it. Constantly dealing with it. But it was wonderful because I really. I genuinely. I'm thinking about my sweet dead grandparents probably, hopefully smiling, looking down. I'm back in Gainesville, back where they were living. I'M doing a show. I was able to get out on the field at the Gator and there's this stupid. He was 24.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you know her age?

[William Montgomery]

Because I asked her how old she was and I was telling her.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What made you even begin to ask her? Was she already heckling?

[William Montgomery]

Yes, she was being very loud. So she was being just extraordinarily loud.

[Nick James]

And.

[William Montgomery]

And like there was a punchline or anything. She was just being.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There was a loud, loud 24 year old in Gainesville, Florida. This is incredible. I can't believe it.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[William Montgomery]

It was horrible.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my goodness gracious.

[William Montgomery]

But it was ended up okay. So. So it was a really fun weekend. So

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

did you make it like a big part of your set, perhaps?

[William Montgomery]

What, talking with the girl?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah. It ended up being 30 plus minutes. Perhaps by this review that I'm seeing online, that red band just pointed out to me 30 plus minutes of it was him just screaming at this white chick and her date saying like, quote, shut the up, you stupid. I love your energy, but laugh at the punch lines, you dumbass. Yeah, and at her boyfriend. You should actually be embarrassed. I really hope you're embarrassed right now because you should be. Control your bitch dog.

[William Montgomery]

Seriously, it was good. And again, I swear, Tony, like, if people are laughing, it's good, but it's stressing me out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then he would do another joke. The chick yells before he even gets to the punchline. He starts berating her repeat. He did this 10 plus times for his set. I'm not exaggerating rating, I guess, I would guess at least 10 plus times. And I was already extremely annoyed by the seventh time. So was my girlfriend. They were annoying as. And the drunk white chick legit couldn't fathom that she was the problem he was addressing. The same thing happened at Casey Rockett's part of the show. She kept screaming, give me the key, I want the key. After he did his Dutchman's key bit. However, Casey addressed it once and then never again. He just kept pushing through his golden material. William, however, would just not let it go. Okay, well, that's good.

[William Montgomery]

And that also sounds like just some fucking idiot. Maybe that sounds like a dumbass kind of. Yeah. Then I hear a. I hear waterfall. I thought she vomited because she's gone. I hear, and it turns out somebody just dumped a couple of water over. And I was so happy. And I swear to God, she walks back with a smile on her face with a filled up drink. And I. My heart drops because I really, I thought she Vomited on the ground and got kicked out because I heard this noise and then she was gone. And I was like, oh, my God, she's gone. And then she comes back with a filled up drink. I'm like, oh, God, this is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why didn't I kick her out, though? This seems like it's the club's Sunday.

[William Montgomery]

That was fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sunday show in game Florida. You're fine. Totally fine. Kind of like a perfect storm. I mean, that's what happens. That's kind of how it goes. But overall, a great weekend.

[William Montgomery]

Wonderful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you have good seats for the game? Were you on the sideline?

[William Montgomery]

Had really good seats. Luckily it was. We were in the sun for 20 minutes and then the shade. And it's scary because there's this man who's really mean to a woman sitting next to me, and he had this horrible scar on his nose, and I think I have another skin cancer on my face. So thank God we got back into the shade, which is how the sun was going over the stadium. Thank God I was only in the sun for about 20 minutes because I didn't have my sunscreen on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Now, there is a really decent chance, and I mean a really, really decent chance, this show is seen by millions and millions of people that the woman that was at your show in Gainesville is being shown this clip right now by somebody in Florida. So why don't you look right at that camera right there if you have any words that you'd like to say to her now, now that a little bit of time has passed, William, the final words to the drunk.

[William Montgomery]

Well, I already apologized to her earlier via Instagram. She sent me a message on Instagram and so did her boyfriend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that really took all the comedy out of this. Literally the opposite of comedy. An apology, ladies and gentlemen.

[William Montgomery]

Yeah, an apology.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How about for the live audience and the millions of people watching around the world? Why don't you say something other than, well, I guess it's over now. How about what would you like to say to the.

[William Montgomery]

And I heard you had a bowl for me.

[La Mer Lee]

I know. I. I'm sorry.

[William Montgomery]

He broke a bowl of mine one time. And then Sean tells me you have the. You brought me a bowl finally. So I thought you were about to give me a bowl.

[La Mer Lee]

Do it. I got too high before the show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Lair. How did you break William's bowl?

[La Mer Lee]

Just being fat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You had it in your back pocket?

[William Montgomery]

No, it's the funniest thing. It was on the table, and he has his hand and there's nothing else around it. And he just drags his hand and it falls off the table. And I can't even believe what I'm seeing. There's nothing. It's like he almost intentionally. I know you didn't intentionally do it, but it was just the craziest thing I've ever seen.

[La Mer Lee]

Dude, I got these alligators.

[Nick James]

Oh, man.

[La Mer Lee]

Control them. They're fucking gator claws. I don't know what to do with them. They just sit when I walk.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gators can swim. William, is there anything you would like to say to La Mer about him not bringing you a brand new bowl?

[Billy Swift]

It's good.

[William Montgomery]

I totally understand.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We have a new apologetic, calm William Montgomery. Someone's been making a lot of cameo money lately. This guy used.

[Matt Walker]

Oh yeah.

[William Montgomery]

It's Christmas time if you need a cameo. I'm doing cameos for Christmas.

[La Mer Lee]

William, I do have this bowl that I've been smoking out of all night that I have to put back in the mothership green room. But I can give you this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, you're.

[Matt Walker]

You're giving.

[Heidi]

You having to bring that back for you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. That's.

[Billy Swift]

Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

You want me to bring it back up there?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Joe Rogan. Do you think Joe Rogan has the money to spare to give away a green room pipe like that?

[La Mer Lee]

I don't like to count Joe's pockets like that. That's not a thing I would do. Us rns, we don't do that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's public knowledge. He's extremely rich. I was just making a joke. You shouldn't give William the pipe from the green room. That would be.

[La Mer Lee]

I know. I know. I was.

[Dusty Carter]

Yeah.

[La Mer Lee]

I'm sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fine, man. Welcome to an apology filled ending to kill Tony. William, anything else you want to passionately say or anything else? You're passionate? Yeah.

[William Montgomery]

I mean I think that person. Whatever fucking review you read, I think people were having fun. I think it was a wonderful show. So that dumbass saying oh yeah really bothered me and my. That he kept on dealing with some. That's a idiot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So that's why I do say there. Totally agree.

[William Montgomery]

It was a good show. People are laughing the whole time. I'm literally killing it up there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're damn right.

[William Montgomery]

Some of the time I am. It throw me off a little bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're damn horrible.

[William Montgomery]

But those people are idiots. So that doesn't matter what they say.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. Ladies and gentlemen, the golden goat. William Montgomery, ladies and gentlemen. Wow. He's done it again. The drawing is in from Ryan Je. Belt. Let's see what Chris Rogers has over there. It is indeed Michael Gonzalez how loud can this place get for the great movie powerful Matt McCusker. Matt and Shane's secret pod. Make sure you catch him on tour. He's literally one of the best comedians out there. Matt McCusker.com for tickets. How about a hand for the kill Tony debut of La Mer Lee, everybody. One of my instant favorites, panties in the mouth pod and La Mer Lee. Dot fun. Just a reminder. Reminder. It's dot fun. If you're looking for Lamare tickets, not.com La Merle. Fun one more time for the best standby in the land. Thank you to game time. We love you guys. Red band Love you guys. Have a good night, everybody. We'll see you soon. Thank you. God bless America.

[Brianna Vasquez]

Sa.