Kill Tony Episode #728 - Guest: Greg Fitzsimmons

Release Date: July 22, 2025

Introduction

In this lively episode of Kill Tony, recorded live from Austin, Texas, hosts Tony Hinchcliffe and Brian Redban welcome a special guest, Greg Fitzsimmons. Known for his numerous appearances and long-standing relationship with the show, Greg brings his seasoned comedic flair to the stage, promising an entertaining evening for both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

Guest Spotlight: Greg Fitzsimmons

Greg Fitzsimmons, a staple on Kill Tony, takes center stage with his trademark humor, sharing anecdotes from his personal life and comedic insights.

• Personal Struggles and Family Dynamics

  • Greg opens up about his challenges with his father's intolerance towards transgender individuals. "My dad's been really struggling with trans pronouns, but he finally got it right, dude," shares Greg (12:45).
  • He humorously discusses his own insecurities, saying, "I don't really hate my dick. It's a fine dick," reflecting on body image issues with his characteristic wit (18:30).

• Relationships and Life Experiences

  • Greg delves into his past relationships, particularly highlighting a memorable experience with his ex-girlfriend opting for an abortion. "She was like, I'm not having your fucking kid. And I was like, oh, white girls are cool," he remarks (25:10).
  • He shares a humorous take on his experiences with personal grooming and appearances, engaging the audience with self-deprecating jokes (34:20).

• Interactions with Fellow Comedians and Audience

  • Greg engages in playful banter with fellow comedians like Jack Shaw and Jesse Saldana, incorporating audience members into the conversation and maintaining an upbeat atmosphere.
  • Notable moment: Greg recounts an incident at a mall parking lot where he intervened during an assault, humorously portraying himself as an unlikely hero. "I saw a dude beating on an old woman. So I hopped out, I stuck a .40 cal in his face," he jokes (40:15).

Audience Participation and "Bucket Pools"

Throughout the episode, Kill Tony maintains its interactive format, pulling participants from the audience to perform quick stand-up sets known as "bucket pools."

• Jack Shaw's "New Minute"

  • Jack Shaw, a regular participant, delivers a rapid-fire set blending personal stories with sharp humor. "My girlfriend and I did mushrooms together. I had a bad time," he quips, leading to laughter from the crowd (07:50).
  • Notable Quote: “She likes sucking on toes. If somebody was sucking on my toe, the only thing I could think about is when I go get a pedicure,” Jack shares humorously about his friend's peculiar preferences (22:30).

• Jesse Saldana's Comedic Anecdotes

  • Jesse offers stories from his life, including his experience selling showers and navigating relationships. "I love selling showers after getting high," he jokes, intertwining his work with his personal habits (15:40).

• Fiona Collie's Stand-Up Routine

  • Fiona Collie captivates the audience with tales from her trip to France, blending cultural observations with personal humor. "Duolingo can suck my dick," she declares, receiving cheers from the audience (27:05).

• David Lucas's Roasts

  • Regular performer David Lucas brings his signature roasting style, targeting fellow comedians and comic mishaps with sharp wit. "If I would've been driving that plane, I probably would have crashed it too," David remarks during a discussion about a recent plane crash, eliciting both laughs and gasps (55:20).

Highlights and Memorable Moments

• Sir Winston Pickles' Clown Comedy

  • A standout segment features Sir Winston Pickles, a clown-turned-stand-up comedian, whose unique persona and humorous storytelling steal the show. His jokes about working on cruise ships and interactions with other comedians add a distinct flavor to the episode (43:10).
  • Notable Quote: “I used to work on a circus on a cruise ship. Met my first wife, the bearded lady. She wasn't part of the circus. She was from Maine,” Winston shares, blending absurdity with humor (44:00).

• Ari Maddie's Observational Humor

  • Ari Maddie delivers insightful and relatable jokes about modern life, including satirical takes on movie franchises and societal issues. "Feminists are upset. They're trying to cancel the new Catwoman movie that's coming out because the new Catwoman is Zoe Kravitz, a banging bitch," Ari comments, blending pop culture with humor (1:05:30).

• Final Acts and Closing Remarks

  • The episode concludes with William Montgomery and I am Frank delivering their final sets, each bringing their unique comedic styles to wrap up the night's performances. William shares a heartfelt story about saving people from a camp tragedy with his blunt humor, while I am Frank tackles themes of identity and personal struggles with sharp wit (1:15:45).

Conclusion

Episode #728 of Kill Tony featuring Greg Fitzsimmons is a rollercoaster of humor, personal stories, and engaging interactions. Greg's seasoned comedy, combined with dynamic audience participation and standout performances from other comedians, makes for an unforgettable episode. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the show, this episode offers a comprehensive glimpse into the vibrant and raw world of Kill Tony.

Notable Quotes:

• Jack Shaw (07:50): “My girlfriend and I did mushrooms together. I had a bad time.”
• Greg Fitzsimmons (12:45): “My dad's been really struggling with trans pronouns, but he finally got it right, dude.”
• Fiona Collie (27:05): “Duolingo can suck my dick.”
• Sir Winston Pickles (44:00): “I used to work on a circus on a cruise ship. Met my first wife, the bearded lady. She wasn't part of the circus. She was from Maine.”
• David Lucas (55:20): “If I would've been driving that plane, I probably would have crashed it too.”
• Ari Maddie (1:05:30): “Feminists are upset. They're trying to cancel the new Catwoman movie that's coming out because the new Catwoman is Zoe Kravitz, a banging bitch.”

Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to focus solely on the core discussions and comedic performances of the episode.