KILL TONY #734 - DUSTY SLAY + MARTIN PHILLIPS

Recorded live at the Comedy Mothership, Austin, TX – September 9, 2025
Hosts: Tony Hinchcliffe & Brian Redban
Guests: Dusty Slay, Martin Phillips

Overview

Tonight’s episode of Kill Tony features first-timer Dusty Slay, hot off his Netflix special Wet Heat, joining Kill Tony royalty and golden ticket holder Martin Phillips—on panel for the first time. The evening was packed with raucous, unpredictable stand-up, off-the-cuff crowd work, and interviews that veered from wild comedy shop talk to deeply personal revelations with a roster of bucket comedians. Notable highlights include the recurring themes of dick pics, circumcisions, sleep apnea machines, and manufactured homes for sale—plus, a comedy power couple’s debut, and William Montgomery’s relentless conspiracy theorizing.

Featured Panel & Opening Banter

• Tony introduces Dusty Slay and Martin Phillips as a "before-and-after for hair," riffing on Martin’s new captain’s hat.
  • “I'm the captain now!” — Martin Phillips (07:50)
• Tony reminisces about gigging with Martin 10 years ago in Portsmouth, VA, bringing things full circle.
• Dusty’s special, Wet Heat, is plugged along with Martin’s status as a beloved golden ticket winner finally on panel.
• Martin reveals he brought a mirror on stage (“to make sure my head is straight”) and a corn cob pipe, leaning into the night’s absurd tone.

Opening Acts & Notable Sets

Chris Celio - Golden Ticket Winner

[14:00 - 23:00]

• Observational, disability-based set on being blind in a new city.
  • “It's like I'm in a part of a video game that hasn't loaded yet.” — Chris Celio (14:50)
• Classic Kill Tony riffing: Tony and panel ask about blind navigation, dating logistics, and porn-watching as a blind man.
  • "Do blind guys...smell the toilet paper?" — Tony (16:04)
  • “Yeah, I gotta send dick pics to my boys first for approval.” — Chris (15:40)
• Chris reveals he plays video games, but often gets stuck ("My brother has the controller unplugged"), adding to the running joke.

Pete Garza

[23:00 - 32:00]

• Raw, edgy set with glory hole jokes and two-condom gags.
  • “I just hate the way that pussy feels.” — Pete Garza (24:24)
• Panel delves into Pete’s transient lifestyle, job hopping (caterer, valet, about to start at Pluckers), homelessness, and car pride (Mazda 6).
• Discusses failed university stint, almost having a threesome, and a claimed “too big” dick pic.

Jim Telly

[36:00 - 45:00]

• Elon Musk, Mars, and black anxiety:
  • “I'm black, I'm not going [to Mars]. I don't want to risk getting in no space slave rocket.” — Jim Telly (36:55)
• Panel notes Jim’s “self-moisturizing” sweatiness; Jim reveals he’s a merchandiser for an international beverage company and practices voices/accents.
• DEEPLY personal anecdote: African circumcision at age 16, involving “eight shots of anesthesia.”
  • “I couldn't scream because my dad told me not to be a bitch.” — Jim (41:35)
• Panel cracks up at his “dick got bigger after” and riffs on his traumatic experience.

Hal Soddy

[46:00 - 52:00]

• Circumcision and gender jokes to open.
• Has quit and restarted standup repeatedly, works as a freelance web developer.
• Odd facts: PTSD from fly noises (Costa Rican bugs), love of trains, married with no kids.
  • “There must be more to you, Hal. What else? ...You collect locomotives or something?” — Tony (50:25)
• Playful speculation about potential autism, keeping the tone light and weird.

Tripp Callahan

[53:00 - 1:02:00]

• Jokes on “tuck-friendly” bikinis, racism, HB job.
  • “If your son's wearing a bikini, then I want to see the cock.” — Tripp Callahan (53:20)
• Works at HEB; panel dives deep into grocery store lore and "bending the rules."
• Shares a dark hometown story about a failed “serial killer,” transitions to banter about Adam Sandler, jobs, and more.

Doug Polk (Poker Star)

[1:08:00 - 1:15:00]

• Droll set on being bombarded with dick pics, non-alcoholic beer laws.
  • “When you're buying non alcoholic beer at 9 in the morning, you know you're a pretty serious non alcoholic.” — Doug Polk (1:09:00)
• Tony reveals Doug is down $700k this year in poker (after millions in wins).
• Doug admits to focusing more on comedy; panel pokes fun at his awkwardness in everything but poker.
  • “You have about 10-15 minutes to beat him in poker. Then he’s figured out where you blink, what you sound like, everything...” — Tony (1:11:10)

Matt Campbell

[1:15:00 - 1:23:00]

• British ex-pat observations on High School Musical, American gun drills, and South African heritage.
• Reveals family, heartbreak story (caught “Grandma” on girlfriend’s phone; wasn’t her grandma), and being a valet at the W hotel.
  • “She was reading the Bible when I caught her cheating.” — Matt Campbell (1:20:14)
• Tony and panel riff on chameleon-squashing grandmothers.

Mushroom Matt

[1:25:00 - 1:35:00]

• Bartender at 40 different restaurants, “bar slut” jokes, chlamydia anecdotes.
  • “Good thing you can’t catch an STD from working at a bunch of restaurants. Actually...don’t sleep with cocktail waitresses at PF Chang’s.” — Mushroom Matt (1:27:00)
• Open about drug use, Adderall, struggles to fit in, comedic energy, and generosity with mushrooms to other comedians.
• Panel pressure-cooks him to name all restaurants—predictably falls apart.

The Comedy Power Couple: Elena P & Dr. Timmy T

[1:37:00 - 1:51:00]

• Elena P:

  • First-ever standup ("Today's my first day, y'all!"), jokes on dating a hot doctor, stereotype-busting about nurses.
    • “If anything, the only thing that's really screwing him is the American healthcare system.” — Elena P (1:38:45)
  • Reveals she’s a photographer and Legree (Pilates) instructor.
  • Tells the story of meeting Dr. Tim on a boat at Percy Priest Lake; both from Nashville, TN comedy scene.

• Dr. Timmy T:

  • Follows Elena, kills with Indian restaurant/symbolism jokes, stories from urgent care.
    • “A man came in whose penis was rotting off.” — Dr. Timmy T (1:45:30)
  • Explains the importance of honesty with doctors, and why you shouldn’t smoke if you want a penis implant.
  • Panel instantly books him for a “secret show” gig.

Kill Tony All-Stars & Closing Highlights

Carlos Lopez

[1:53:00 - 2:00:00]

• Returns with “Amber Alert” and "trailer real estate" jokes.
  • “How much you pay on rent? You wanna pay that much with own the motherfucker?” — Carlos Lopez (1:56:40)
• Reveals new career selling manufactured homes, riffed as the “wheel deal market.”
  • “Named my son Jackson Walker Lopez. That's a real country name.” — Carlos Lopez (1:58:05)
• Panel revels in his cowboy spirit, jokes on breastfeeding, and Mexican heritage.

Hank Garza

[2:00:00 - 2:06:00]

• Topics: racist algorithms, weed names, sleep apnea machine & BiPAP mask.
  • "You know how fucked up it is when you have to take down the hose to go see the hose?" — Hank Garza (2:02:43)
• The sleep apnea bit gets the room howling.
• Shares about being a stay-at-home dad, the challenges, and the comfort of a wife making good money.

William Montgomery (Hall-of-Famer Closer)

[2:07:00 - End]

• Fires off meticulously crafted one-liners (pound dogs, Amy Schumer pig lung, Shane Gillis/Cracker Barrel, Kurt Cobain).
  • “Doctors have transplanted a pig lung into a brain-dead human...congratulations on your new lung, Amy Schumer.” — William Montgomery (2:08:15)
  • “Cracker Barrel’s CEO looks just like the girl from...everyone that hates our show.” — William Montgomery (2:09:20)
• Goes on increasingly wild Courtney Love conspiracy rants, culminating in 9/11 and Dave Thomas (Wendy’s) bits.
  • “Do you think she [Courtney Love] killed anyone else? Maybe Dave Thomas from Wendy’s…” — Tony/William Exchange (~2:14:00)
• Promotes “Softer Softest" by Hole as writing music for comedians:
  • “Seriously, do you think you're ever gonna stop listening to Softer Softest? I don't think I'm ever gonna stop.” — William Montgomery (2:15:45)
• Panel and crowd roars as William, Tony, and Redban riff about sleep deprivation, parental heritage, and more.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “What do you jerk off to as a blind guy?” — Tony Hinchcliffe (17:30)
• “Eight shots of anesthesia to my dick…my dad told me not to be a bitch.” — Jim Telly (41:35)
• “Every once in a while, a premise just goes through the show. Tonight? Dick pics and circumcisions.” — Tony (1:14:00)
• “Playing poker with Doug Polk: You’ve got 15 minutes to beat him. Then it’s over.” — Tony (1:11:10)
• “Chasing Latinas is more than just a hobby.” — Carlos Lopez (1:59:20)
• “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em…” — Dusty Slay (1:12:10)
• “Putting water in your CPAP…it’s like a humidifier. Oh, daddy dog!” — Hank Garza (2:04:20)

Running Themes

• Dick pics/cock talk threaded from the opening golden ticket set through Doug Polk’s encore, reaching self-aware meta status.
• Circumcision anecdotes and body humor: two back-to-back sets, wild crowd reactions.
• Working-class struggle: valets, caterers, and grocery workers dominate tonight’s bucket, with jobs as a focal interview point.
• Addiction & recovery: Personal stories of loss, drug use, and redemption offer real depth amid the chaos.
• Parenthood/new father shock: Both Carlos Lopez and Hank Garza reflect on the life-changing impact of having children.

Memorable Segments (Timestamps)

• Chris Celio navigates blindness and dick pics: [14:00-23:00]
• Jim Telly’s African circumcision story: [40:15-42:30]
• Power Couple Elena P & Dr. Timmy T’s dual debut: [1:37:00-1:51:00]
• Doug Polk’s $700k poker downswing and non-alc beer saga: [1:08:00-1:15:00]
• William Montgomery’s wild conspiracy conspiracy monologue: [2:07:00-end]

Final Thoughts

This episode showcased Kill Tony at its best—unpredictable, raw, and ready to careen off any conversational cliff. The chemistry between panelists Dusty Slay and Martin Phillips added a unique, offbeat sensibility; the bucket’s cast of oddballs and pros kept panel and crowd sharp; and William Montgomery hit the closer out of the park (and perhaps, into the realm of unsolved conspiracies). For new fans or diehards alike, this was a classic installment: wild, wall-to-wall laughter, and windows into the hearts and odd histories that make up Austin comedy.

Check out:

• Wet Heat on Netflix and Dusty Slay’s tour at dustyslay.com
• Martin Phillips’ shows at martinphillipscomedy.com

Sign up for Kill Tony or grab tickets to the next live show at the Comedy Mothership—if you dare.