Kill Tony #737 – Ian Bagg & Brian Holtzman

Recorded: September 30, 2025, Austin, TX

Episode Overview

This electric, high-energy episode features crowd work king Ian Bagg and the unpredictable, darkly hilarious Brian Holtzman joining host Tony Hinchcliffe and producer Brian Redban live at the Comedy Mothership. With a packed room of hopeful, unfiltered comedians pulled from the infamous bucket, a rare golden ticket presentation, and a Mexican drum-off, the night blends cutting crowd insults with genuine mentorship and a deep dive into the strange lives and ambitions of comics on the rise.

Key Discussion Points, Segments, & Memorable Moments

1. Opening & Panel Introduction (07:00)

• Tony introduces what he calls a “chemistry set” of a panel:
  • “One, a master improviser, famous for his unbelievable crowd work [Bagg]. The other, one of the true dark forces of standup comedy. An absolute man known for closing every show in the main room… [Holtzman].” (07:14)
• Immediate playful antagonism between Ian and Brian; Ian teases his own nervousness:
  • Ian Bagg: “Very exciting and terrified of Brian… just, I love Brian, but I'm terrified. Yeah, we all are. He keeps us on our toes.” (09:30)

2. Colt McNeely – The Yo-Yo Opener (13:00-22:30)

• Colt kicks off with a minute about his new apartment, gay bars, and yo-yoing.
• Standout Quotes:
  • Tony: “Pressure makes diamonds.” (15:45)
  • Holtzman: “I have a little comedy writing session at my place… it’ll just be you and I. I’ll bring my grippy socks.” (16:18)
• Highlight: Colt yo-yos live while the band plays (“Yo-yo music!”), to thunderous applause.
• Ian Bagg: “Bring that to the apartment, and I’ll try to insert it in your ass.” (18:28)
• Behind-the-scenes banter about Colt’s work on the crew and absurd details about setting up the show’s table.

3. Mike Holloway – Sid from Toy Story? (23:00-32:50)

• Jokes about trans women in sports; self-effacing deadpan.
• Panel jabs about his “Sid from Toy Story” look and muted love life.
• Honest confession: “I don't do much for fun anymore... working and doing comedy, but I like to play disc golf.”
• Holtzman turns everything sexually absurd:
  • “You seem like a guy who just jerks off when you first wake up and you have low testosterone the rest of the day.” (29:30)
• Story about crashing a Bird scooter.

4. Sarah Sloan – From Horse Noises to Genuine Growth (34:10-44:30)

• Delivers polished, tightly-written jokes:
  • “I look like a girl who regularly goes to the gym, but just to poop.”
  • “Helen Keller coined the phrase ‘talk to the hand, cause the face ain’t listening’ – but she probably sounded a little different as she said it…” (36:00)
• Career arc: Started with a horse noise on Kill Tony; now works for Tony full-time behind the scenes.
• Tony on their dynamic:
  • “We are absolute polar opposites. She is a very, very, very, very good, well-behaved Christian girl. And I’m a naughty boy.” (38:30)
• Brian Holtzman’s wild take on Helen Keller:
  • “I to this day, can’t understand why she's who she is. I mean, she couldn't do anything. She couldn't go anywhere.” (39:46)
• Tony’s proud mentor moment:
  • “The unbelievable growth since the last time... Everything's, like, rock solid, professional.”
• Memorable Moment: Sarah delivers her trademark horse noise on request. (44:20)

5. J.J. Alexander – Rubik’s Cube, Glasses Bits, and a GOLDEN TICKET (45:10-56:15)

• J.J. riffs on how glasses change his perceived identity – “Glasses on: Kind chick-fil-a manager… Glasses off: Arby’s manager.”
• Shares his move from Colorado Springs, sacrificing for comedy, bunk-bedding with friends while hustling in Austin.
• Rubik’s Cube Challenge: Tony pulls out a Rubik’s Cube.
  • JJ solves it live in 1:19. Crowd erupts.
• Discussion about Dutch Bros coffee and the ‘bad day’ free coffee button.
• Life-Changer:
  • Tony: “What I have right here… is indeed a golden ticket. You just won it here on Kill Tony.” (55:48)
  • JJ (Choked up): “You just changed my life, man. Thank you, Tony. Let’s go. Austin, Texas. Let’s rock, baby!”
• Panel celebrates this milestone—a rare and emotional moment.

6. Fern (aka Jason Alexander Fern) – High Rise Tales, Dark Jokes (56:16-1:06:00)

• Jokes about his cousin with Down syndrome, cats named “Abyss” and “Meowschwitz,” and other dark, quick bits.
• Unusual job: High-rise window washer, formerly a union iron worker.
  • Describes enjoying “hanging from ropes, scaring the shit out of cats.”
  • Tells the story of falling out a window as a baby.
• Panel banter:
  • Tony: “You ever been scared of heights your whole life? Like, do you have like tall parents that held you or something?” (1:03:30)
• Booked on the Secret Show for an eight-minute spot.

7. Stephen ‘Forrest Gump’ Dosier – The Comeback Kid & Mexican Drum-Off (1:06:00-1:25:15)

• Returns to standup after last performing in 1986.
• Opens with a Forrest Gump impression; rebooted for an original set about colonoscopies and asshole personification.
• Reveals:
  • “I retired. Was a financial advisor—made too much fucking money.”
  • Trains cats to jump hoops, makes marble clocks—has no children, widowed (“Lost my wife 15 years ago... she committed [suicide]”).
• Mexican Drum-Off: Stephen challenges Michael Gonzalez by playing a legit drum solo (with double bass pedals!).
  • Ultimately, Michael retains his undefeated title, but Stephen wins crowd affection.
  • Tony: “I love people of all different shapes and sizes coming in here and fucking playing around.”
• “You look a little bit older than you are—maybe it’s the cane or something… Still, irrepressible optimism and joy.

8. Tommy Tickles – Country Riffing, Verbal Line-walk (1:25:16-1:32:40)

• Letting loose with jokes about taxidermy, marital negotiations, and (controversially) words that sound like slurs.
• Tony’s quick save:
  • “That is a loophole, if I ever… leave it to an old country man to find a loophole.” (1:29:40)
• Tommy demonstrates his “Cunnilingus Crossover” technique.
• Plug for locally-sourced lubricant: “V Woo Coconut Oil.”
• Panel howls at his drawl, irreverence, and authenticity.

9. Jeremiah Bishop – Face Tattoos & OnlyFans Confessions (1:32:41-1:46:45)

• Joke about cocaine making guys weirdly intimate.
• Reveals street life: “Before I moved out here, I was, like, homeless.”
• Has prominent face tattoos, piercings, and jewelry (“Mike Ness from Social Distortion is pretty cool.”)
• Bombshell confession:
  • Tony: “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done sexually for money?”
  • Jeremiah: “Just shot content… You can find it on Twitter: Daddy Dick Wolf.” (1:44:00)
• The panel both roasts and supports his full openness.

10. Hell’s Bells – True Comedy Newbie (1:46:46-1:54:42)

• First-time ever doing standup.
• Shares a story about a classmate’s transition and an awkward lunch.
• Dating a younger Latino man; working as a telemedicine nurse.
• Ian: “First time doing stand up, and she decides to do it here. That’s amazing—it really is. That’s stupid. Like, it really is. You’re out of control.” (1:52:41)
• Receives genuine encouragement from the hosts.

11. JP Hinsdale – Obesity, Bipolar, and Brutal Honesty (1:54:43-2:07:45)

• Self-deprecating set about bipolar depression.
• Story about an infected leg from a gym pool, never went to the doctor (“You never went to the doctor? Dude, I broke my leg and never went to the doctor. You know me…”)
• Weigh-in on stage: 445.4 lbs. (2:02:31)
• Real talk about health, mental state, and depression.
• Brian Redban: “Are you going through depression? Hardcore?”
  • JP: “No.”
  • Tony: “That’s the worst question.”
• JP’s sweet giggle and willingness to take the roasting wins the room.

12. Isaac Butterfield – Aussie Pro Drops In (2:07:46-2:18:30)

• Polished, punchy international set:
  • “Saw a lady on her back… her pussy looked like JFK’s exit wound.”
  • Down syndrome Barbie jokes: “Just put the regular Barbie doll in the microwave for 25 seconds, you get the same result.”
• From Australia, touring US, has paroxysmal dyskinesia:
  • “A movement disorder, I lose control of my head and my neck and I go blind in my left eye. My biggest fear is it happening on stage.”
• Touring America with his wife and toddler; describes the visa process as “the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
• Tony to Isaac: “You’re super likable, super cool. Great stuff.” (2:16:29)

13. Timmy No Brakes – Headlining Close (2:18:31-end)

• Timmy fills in for the missing William Montgomery, reading his “jokes,” then launching into manic, meta exchanges with Tony, riffing on fame, fake advice for aspiring comics (“If you're trying to be a comedian and that's your dream, fucking quit. You’re never gonna make it.”)
• Epic panel chaos, ending on relentless, absurd energy.
• Inside stories about headlining and road gigs with Tony.

Notable Quotes & Outrageous Exchanges

• Tony (re: pulling new comics):
  • “Some of them, some of the most talented upcoming comedians from all around the world. Some of them completely mentally ill people. Some of them have never even tried stand up before. Some of them have done it every night for a decade and a half. Anything can happen.” (10:46)
• Brian Holtzman’s unparalleled bluntness:
  • “This is the world’s wackiest nursing home up here.” (about back-to-back older contestants) (1:30:50)
• Sarah Sloan (on dates):
  • “At one point, I literally held up my hand in front of my face and I said, ‘Don't kiss me, please.’”
• JJ Alexander, teary after winning the Golden Ticket:
  • “You just changed my life, man. Thank you, Tony. Let's go. Austin, Texas. Let's rock, baby.” (56:05)
• On Tommy Tickles’ risqué language:
  • “That is a loophole, if I ever… Leave it to an old country man to find a loophole.” (1:29:40)
• Jeremiah Bishop’s big reveal:
  • “You can find me… Daddy Dick Wolf on Twitter.” (1:44:00)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Panel Introduction – 07:00
• Colt McNeely’s Yo-Yo Opener – 13:00
• Mike Holloway Set – 23:00
• Sarah Sloan’s Set – 34:10
• J.J. Alexander & Golden Ticket – 45:10
• Fern Window Washer – 56:16
• Stephen Dosier/Drum-off – 1:06:00
• Tommy Tickles – 1:25:15
• Jeremiah Bishop’s OnlyFans Reveal – 1:32:41
• Hell’s Bells Comedy Virgin – 1:46:46
• JP Hinsdale’s Weigh-In – 1:54:43
• Isaac Butterfield – 2:07:46
• Timmy No Brakes (Closing Set) – 2:18:31

Standout Episode Takeaways

• Real Platform-Changing Moments:
  • JJ Alexander’s Golden Ticket win displays the show’s power to transform lives for comics who risk everything for the art.
• Authenticity, Roasting, and Mentorship:
  • The panel rides the edge between caustic roast and honest encouragement; newcomers and veterans are all in the line of fire but leave with more experience, visibility, and sometimes opportunity.
• Madcap Variety:
  • From yo-yo tricks and Rubik’s Cubes to mental health confessions, widowhood jokes, and impromptu drum solos, anything can—and does—happen.

Final Thoughts

A classic, wild Kill Tony episode—memorable for its balance of cutting comedy, heartfelt moments, and encouragement, generously laced with chaos. The chemistry of Bagg and Holtzman keeps everything unpredictable, the contestants shine in their own strange ways, and Tony expertly quarterbacks, always pushing the show to weirder and greater heights.

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