KILL TONY #748 – ARI MATTI + EHSAN AHMAD

Date: December 16, 2025
Location: The Comedy Mothership, Austin, Texas
Hosts: Tony Hinchcliffe & Brian Redban
Guests: Ari Matti (“Estonian Assassin”), Ehsan Ahmad (“Brown Bomber”)
Regular: Dedrick Flynn

Episode Overview

This Kill Tony episode delivers classic mayhem—raucous crowd, try-anything panel, and a parade of up-and-coming comics, all held together by Tony Hinchcliffe’s merciless interviewing, with Brian Redban on the drops. The panel features show favorite Ari Matti and ex-regular Ehsan Ahmad, leading to plenty of riffing on culture, accents, and, yes, some “edge.” The show jumps from new comics’ wild confessionals to touching on crime, drug use, military service, and the sheer absurdity of open mic life. Regular Dedrick Flynn brings down the house, and the Kill Tony “bucket” provides unpredictable comedy gold.

Key Episode Segments & Insights

1. Panel Introduction & Opening Banter (12:00—16:00)

• Tony welcomes “Kill Tony legends”: Ari Matti (“best panelist” and Estonian import) and Ehsan Ahmad (one of the show’s greatest former regulars).
• Opening banter involves sharp ethnic jokes, riffing on audience members (“Me and Ehsan look like we’re planning the next 9/11”), and targeted crowd work at a rich attendee in a Gucci hoodie.
• Quote:

  “The one that looks like an American is actually from Estonia.” – Tony (14:32)

2. How the Show Works—The Rules  (16:30—17:30)

• Over 250 people sign up for a spot; if chosen, they get 60 seconds to perform standup.
• Time’s up is signaled by a kitten sound, followed by the “angry West Hollywood bear” for lingering.
• Comedians are then interviewed by Tony and the panel.

3. Golden Ticket: Mason Bird Returns (17:35—27:30)

• Mason Bird gives a strong set, including jokes on being perceived as creepy, trans women (“I view trans women the same way I view God—only in a time of dire need. You’ll find me on my knees praying.”), and an abortion bit.
• Interview highlights:
  • Mason was fired from Jersey Mike’s for being late and stealing sandwiches.
  • Food confessionals: He describes “doing chopped at home”—making tacos with apples and potatoes—and a weight-loss trick (eat pizza cheese/bread separately to pretend it’s more food).
  • Panel riffs on disgusting “fat guy” food inventions, including Redban’s Alfredo-stuffed Olive Garden breadstick.
  • Mason discusses his half-sister’s keyboard duster addiction, and the panel shares Midwest whippet stories.
• Notable Quotes:

  “You take an Olive Garden breadstick and put your finger all the way through it...pour Alfredo sauce inside. Like a gusher. An Italian gusher.” – Brian Redban (24:30)
  “Have you ever emptied an Olive Garden breadstick and sprayed computer duster in it and inhaled?” – Tony (26:35)

4. First Bucket Pull: Luke Aaron (27:50—41:00)

• Set: Jokes on Lizzo, sexual language double standards, then uses the “R word.”
• Panel Advice:
  • Ari: “Move the mic stand out of sight when you get up. It distracts the crowd.”
  • Ehsan: “Hold the mic more naturally.”
• Background:
  • 26, tries comedy after hating restaurant and sales jobs.
  • He delivers a mock pitch to sell windows/doors.
  • Candid about growing up in an IFB Baptist home, strict modesty rules, and now dating a more “normal” girlfriend (celebrated a “three-month anniversary,” which the panel roasts).
  • Admits low stage time; fears open mics because he thinks people might steal his jokes.
• Notable Quotes:

  “Too many windows, not enough mirrors.” – Ehsan (39:12) “You just celebrated your three-month anniversary? There’s grown men cracking up at that!” – Tony (38:35)

5. Subsequent Bucket Pulls: Highlights

Charles Adams Jr. (43:00—54:50)

• Set: Bachelor party story involving vomiting on a stripper, being fired from jobs.
• Interview:
  • Works security at Cap City Comedy Club; laments “rich, entitled” crowd.
  • Relationship entanglements: reveals checking his girlfriend’s DMs, selling her feet pics on FeetFinder, into foot fetishes.
• Panel: Major riffs on body image and workplace humiliation.

Evan Quigley (55:00—01:05:30)

• Set: Jokes about undoing circumcision, analogies for genitalia, and board-game sex metaphors.
• Interview:
  • 2 years in, had a DUI in Florida that got him an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet.
  • Panel roasts his “arborist” job (diagnoses “sick trees”).
  • Hat too low, hides eyes—panel gives advice on presentation.

Alexa Irizarry (Trans Woman, Stunner Set) (01:09:30—01:23:00)

• Set: Thanksgiving on Tinder (“celebrated the traditional way by giving him syphilis”); being a trans woman and jokes about sex with straight men; Taco Bell analogy.
• Interview:
  • Former porn performer, construction sales, six years sober from meth/heroin.
  • Riffs on the porn industry, fake orgasms, and being a “pre-Caitlyn” transitioner.
  • Honest about not enjoying sex, having supportive mother after hardship.
  • Promotes OnlyFans (“Jasminesteel7”).
• Notable Quotes:

  “Straight men view trans women the same way they view Taco Bell. They want it when they're drunk. They're ashamed of what it does to their asshole.” – Alexa (01:10:20)
  “I can only come when being called a perfect.” – Alexa, on her kinks (01:15:30)
  “I started comedy because John Mulaney’s ‘New in Town’ special was playing while I was high digging in a trash at my drug dealer’s.” (01:17:50)

6. Regular Dedrick Flynn: The “Dark Storm of Atlanta” (01:24:00—01:32:30)

• Set: Extended riff on “The Blind Side” (movie); how it made the main character seem “retarded” and overdramatized.
• Panel:
  • Dedrick and Ari reconnect over an open mic memory (“shows what happens when you keep writing and pursuing your dream” – Ehsan).
  • Shares that he’s doing well: Ubering his mom for Thanksgiving, proud of being a regular, has new grill (teeth).
  • Debuts an infectious Kill Tony-themed rap with live band.
• Notable Quotes:

  “Mondays are weird without the show. Once you’re part of this thing, Mondays are really weird.” – Tony (01:27:15)
  “First pull, first round, regular / My set’s good but ain’t none of them regular.” – Dedrick (rap, 01:31:25)

7. More Bucket Pull Standout Moments

Mitch (“Bitch with an M”) (01:33:00—01:41:00)

• Struggled with seizures while on/off the nerve blocker Gabapentin, girlfriend left him during one episode.
• Army vet, lives with cat Timothy, likes scooters, getting back into religion.
• Humorous army discharge/“back blown out” story.

Sancho Pancho Villa (01:41:00—01:52:00)

• 5’1” Marine vet notorious for being a “side dude,” having slept with ~18 married women.
• Reveals craftiness: keeps a “not-so-little-for-him” cooler in the car (“it’s a fridge to him”).
• Panel riffs on his escapades, physique, and skill as a pickup artist.
• Quote:

  “If you want to be a side piece, you’ll be a wide piece.” – Ari (01:48:50)

Jedi (Woody Harrelson's Stand-In, First-Time Comic) (01:54:00—02:04:30)

• Set: One-liners heavy on “pedophilia” misdirects, jokes about searching for love.
• Works as Woody Harrelson’s stand-in for 25 years; lots of on-set anecdotes.
• Panel jokes about the “stand-in” community and Woody’s famously potent weed.

8. San Antonio’s Ryan Shields (14-year Comic, Tough Set) (02:08:00—02:16:30)

• Set about his daughter’s “gangsta” boyfriend and peanut allergies; roasted by panel for lacking punch after 14 years.
• Shares colonoscopy story that devolves into a confessional about food deprivation and Redban’s “fattest thing” microdosing food (chewing but not swallowing before the procedure).
• Quote:

  “I’ve never heard anyone microdose food before.” – Tony (02:14:22)

9. Matthew Laor (Cap City Door Guy with Jiu Jitsu Ears) (02:18:00—02:26:00)

• Set: Story about catching his mom hooking up with another woman as a child (“I’m proud my mom’s a top”).
• Door guy at Cap City; formerly adulterous lifeguard, left wife for a swim coach who returned to her husband (“That story’s a 5’1” Mexican away from perfection.”).
• Panel gives advice about stage presence—timing, silence, letting the crowd “absorb” you when you walk on.

10. William Montgomery (Regular, Finale) (02:26:10—End)

• New “adorable” look, wears winter hat due to baldness.
• Puzzle-obsessed, confesses to organizing by color and working edge pieces first (“I worked on a watermelon last night”).
• Troubled by a disinterested FedEx delivery woman; plots (ineffective) comic revenge.
• Panel riffs on his psychological well-being and admits regulars make “good money,” but William is modest.
• William claims the economy is bad and ticket sales are down, but Tony pokes holes in his gloom.
• Notable Quotes:

  “It’s getting scary. I’m literally planning on tripping the fucking woman from FedEx tomorrow.” – William (02:28:30)
  “Any book is big. For him, that’s a mansion.” – Ehsan, on Sancho’s joke book (01:47:30)

Notable Recurring Themes & Running Bits

• Fat Guy Food Confessions: From Alfredo-filled breadsticks to party-sized bags of Doritos made into nachos.
• Rich Douchebag Heckler: A Gucci hoodie-wearing audience member repeatedly becomes a lightning rod for crowd work.
• Panelist Chemistry: Ari and Ehsan’s comfort with each other (self-mockery, cultural one-upsmanship) provides a comedic architecture.
• Extreme Honesty: Guests share intimate struggles—addiction, sexuality, infidelity, DUIs, seizures—giving the show its infamous “kill or be killed” energy.
• Comedic Advice: Genuine tips from panel to new comics (move mic stand, mic technique, connect with crowd, “Too many windows, not enough mirrors.”).

Memorable Quotes (With Timestamps)

• Ari: “Move the mic stand out of sight when you get up. It distracts the crowd.” (28:40)
• Ehsan: “Too many windows, not enough mirrors.” (39:12)
• Tony: “If you’ve got him counting the 27th as a special day every month, you’re in a trap, buddy.” (38:45)
• Alexa Irizarry: “Straight men view trans women the same way they view Taco Bell. They want it when they're drunk. They're ashamed of what it does to their asshole.” (01:10:20)
• Dedrick Flynn: “First pull, first round, regular / My set’s good but ain’t none of them regular.” (01:31:25)
• Tony: “You want to be a side piece, you’ll be a wide piece.” (01:48:50)
• William Montgomery: “I finished a thousand piece puzzle in two days… It was an open refrigerator, Tony. I worked on a watermelon for a while last night.” (02:27:25)
• Tony: “Any book is big. For him, that’s a mansion.” (On Sancho’s joke book, 01:47:30)

Episode Highlights by Timeline

| Timestamp | Segment | |:-------------:|:----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12:00 | Panel intro – Ari/Ehsan banter, crowd work on “Gucci guy” | | 17:30 | Mason Bird (Golden Ticket Minute + interview) | | 27:50 | Luke Aaron (first bucket pull, “windows and doors,” ultra-honest background) | | 43:00 | Charles Adams Jr. (strip club/bachelor party story) | | 55:00 | Evan Quigley (DUI, tree diagnosis, hat/lack of stage presence advice) | | 01:09:30 | Alexa Irizarry (the “Taco Bell” of straight men, porn, meth, and comedy) | | 01:24:00 | Dedrick Flynn (The Blind Side, “first round regular,” impromptu rap) | | 01:33:00 | Mitch (army, seizures, cat Timothy, girlfriend leaves during seizure) | | 01:41:00 | Sancho Pancho Villa (side-dude pro, pickup logistics for short men) | | 01:54:00 | Jedi (Woody Harrelson’s stand-in, first set loaded with pedophile jokes) | | 02:08:00 | Ryan Shields (14-year comic, colonoscopy/food microdosing story) | | 02:18:00 | Matthew Laor (door guy, lifeguard, mother’s affair, regrets about youth) | | 02:26:10 | William Montgomery (finale, puzzles, eBay, drinks milk, FedEx plot) |

Closing Notes

• Atmosphere: This episode is a classic example of Kill Tony’s blend of chaotic audience, brutally honest panel, and the carnival of open mic humanity.
• Best Set: Alexa Irizarry’s 5-year pro set was a masterclass in owning the room, earning high praise.
• Most Unpredictable Interview: Sancho Pancho Villa’s short, side-dude wisdom.
• Panel Standout: Dedrick Flynn spotlights his come-up with a live musical interlude and stories of success as a regular.
• Realest Moment: Several comics were remarkably candid—about addiction, sexuality, and struggling with life and comedy.

This episode delivers:

• Uni​que characters, wild crowd moments, and panel insights into the comedy grind.
• Vivid, unfiltered glimpses into comics’ lives and minds.
• The balance between brutal roasting and genuine advice for new talent—a signature of Kill Tony.

Next Episode: Tune in for more chaos, more crowd weirdos, and the ever-grinding bucket—live from Austin every week.