KILL TONY #1

Summary

Kill Tony #1 – Pilot Episode

Date: June 14, 2013
Venue: Comedy Store, Los Angeles
Hosts: Tony Hinchcliffe & Brian Redban
Panel Guest: Rick Ingram
Special Notes: Debut episode of what becomes “Kill Tony” – a live comedy showcase where new comedians get one minute to impress a panel of established stand-ups and a live audience.

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Episode Overview

The debut of Kill Tony introduces a fresh and highly experimental podcast format, blending open mic stand-up comedy with immediate panel feedback and roasting. Hosted by Tony Hinchcliffe and Brian Redban, with Rick Ingram as a special guest, the show’s purpose is to give amateur comics a platform—one nerve-wracking minute each—followed by raw, fast-paced critique and a heavy dose of irreverence. The tone is loose, sometimes brutal, and intentionally unstructured, as the team takes chances with the format and with the comedians who dare to sign up.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Podcast Concept and Origins

• Genesis: Tony Hinchcliffe shares the idea was sparked by seeing 50+ comedians swarm The Comedy Store for open mic spots—and wanting to leverage that energy for a podcast (03:33).
  • “I figured, why not give everybody a smaller forum than the three minutes that they’re trying to get?” – Tony Hinchcliffe [06:03]
• Format: Each open mic comic gets exactly one minute on stage. If they impress, there’s a chance to be called up for further panel roast/tagging (12:11).
• Name Banter: A running joke about potential podcast titles, with Tony favoring “Hinchcliffe’s Notes” (07:33) and Redban suggesting it doesn’t roll off the tongue.

2. On the LA Open Mic Grind

• Hosts recount the challenges and random luck involved in LA’s comedy club scene.
  • “It’s an addiction.” – Brian Redban on open mics (06:02)
  • “Once you do a spot, you do good, you want more. And it’s crazy.” – Tony Hinchcliffe (05:43)
• Tales of biking to failed signups and the desperation for stage time; sympathy for the grind and the randomness of lineups at other clubs like The Laugh Factory.

3. Inaugural Panel: Rick Ingram

• Lauded by Tony as one of the sharpest, off-the-cuff comics at The Store.
  • “He just cracked me up… all the time, and it’s ridiculous.” – Tony Hinchcliffe on Rick (09:54)
• Rick sets the tone for the show with irreverent humor and ruthless, playful feedback to comedians.

4. Format in Practice — Comedian Lightning Round

The bulk of the episode showcases one-minute sets from a parade of up-and-comers. After each set, panelists—with heavy audience interaction—break down jokes, roasting, tagging, and riffing.

Notable sets and panel exchanges:

Skyler – “Chicken Dick”

• Chicken jokes laced with wordplay about being molested by a rooster.
• Panel riffs on his performance style and the racial undertones, suggesting Skyler should open with a “Black Travolta” character.
  • “It was very Marvin of you.” – Rick Ingram [25:01]

Jaron Horton – “Yao Ming’s Tough Childhood”

• Jokes about being tall and Asian expectations — a likable, self-deprecating set.
  • “That’s a good way to… have you ever checked out the weight room before?” – Tony Hinchcliffe [28:06]

Rich Slayton – “Racism”

• White comedian jokes about the nightmare of being called racist.
• Panel runs with the “racist-looking” appearance, his comedic cadence, and the authenticity of his delivery.

Jeff Schwind – “Fitness Shirts”

• Short joke about fat people and fitness T-shirts.
• Panel notes brevity (“that was definitely like a queef,” Tony [36:00]) and pushes him to fill his time with more material.

Taylor Dean – “Drunken Obama”

• Attempts an Obama impression.
• Panel lambastes him for lacking punchlines but riff on his outfit and lack of pop culture awareness.
  • “Instead of doing good comedy, you just keep it bad and come up with quips to talk about how bad it is.” – Rick Ingram [48:06]

Sarah Most Hijabi – “Game Design Degree”

• The first and only woman up this week; jokes about being unemployed with a video game degree and Final Fantasy references.
  • Banter focuses on her boldness, “Silver Lake Tina Fey” look, and callback to previous comics about Snickers nightclub.
  • “She’s already doing callbacks!” – Rick Ingram [77:37]

Tim Greer – “AIDS Dating Site”

• Premise about launching a dating site for people with AIDS (“DateAids”).
• Panel discuss dark comedy boundaries and suggest cross-tagging with popular existing dating sites for effect.
  • “That’s a really funny premise.” – Tony Hinchcliffe [79:42]
  • “You ignore the science, the fact that people don’t just drop dead of AIDS anymore. There is just medication for it.” – Rick Ingram [79:44]

5. Panel & Audience Dynamic

• The hosts and Rick are relentless but often constructive, toggling between genuine feedback and savage roasts.
• Panel discusses race, the harsh realities of the LA comedy scene, and personal anecdotes about the pitfalls and weirdness of starting out.

6. Memorable Quotes and Moments

• “This whole thing can fucking explode at any moment.” – Tony Hinchcliffe on the experiment [06:58]
• “I just want to kill myself. It’s almost that bad.” – Brian Redban, on bombing at open mics [05:37]
• “I think you need to really tell people what the name of this podcast is… some people think you should change it…” – Brian Redban [07:19]
• “He did go there, though.” – Rick Ingram, after a misdirect in a comic’s joke [69:55]

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Key Timestamps for Segments

• [06:03] Podcast concept explained
• [12:11] Explanation for empty “winner’s seat” in format
• [23:33] First open-mic comic: Skyler (“Chicken Dick”)
• [27:39 - 33:34] Panel reviews first 3 comics
• [55:01] Frank Castillo: “Little Brother Goes to the Hospital”
• [73:20] Sarah Most Hijabi: “Pussy Power” and video game punchlines
• [78:45] Tim Greer: “AIDS Dating Site”
• [83:09] Wrap-up and closing banter

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Notable Themes

• Raw, Experimental Comedy: The show’s openness to failure, weirdness, and direct critique is a hallmark—setting a tone for brutal honesty.
• ROAST Culture: Much of the humor (and value) is in the panellists’ quick, smart put-downs and tags for improving bits.
• Race/Gender Dynamics: Early and often, the show addresses stereotypes with intentional discomfort, daring the audience to go along.
• Comedy Scene Realities: Firsthand tales of the open mic struggle, balancing stage time desperation, and the fantasy of being “discovered.”

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Final Thoughts

The pilot of Kill Tony is chaotic, brash, and often hilarious, capturing the vulnerability and unpredictability of live stand-up. The hosts and panel don’t hold back—sometimes nurturing, sometimes eviscerating—with moments of genuine encouragement and a lot of biting sarcasm. Amid awkwardness and tangents, the raw format emerges as both a proving ground and a gauntlet—a circus for anyone trying to be funny on the LA comedy battlefield.

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For Fans of:
Open mics, roasts, behind-the-scenes stand-up, and unfiltered comic critique.

Skip to:

• [23:33] For the first one-minute set & real action
• [55:01] For the format at its best/worst in the home stretch
• [73:20] For the standout first female set

Quotable moment:
“This whole thing can fucking explode at any moment. There’s no doubt about it.” – Tony Hinchcliffe [06:58]

Transcript

[Brian Redban]

Hey, this is Redband and you're listening to the pilot episode of Hinchcliffe Notes here at Deathsquad tv. Come check us out live at the Comedy Store. Every Monday, Death Squad takes over and it starts at 8pm with Hinchcliffe notes and followed by ding dong show. Both shows are 100% free. Just go to the Comedy Store or go online to TheComedyStore.com and reserve your free tickets. Also, if you want to see me and Tony do stand up comedy. And you live In Toronto, Canada, July 11 through the July 13, we got some shows there at the underground comedy club. Tickets are going fast. Saturday's already sold out. There might be adding more shows, but there's only a few tickets left to the current shows that are out there. So go to Death Squad TV to get your tickets. And also, don't Forget Comic Con 2013. Death Squad will have a midnight show Friday and Saturday, July 19th and 20th. Tickets are also available at American Comedy Co.com or just go to Death Squad TV. Also, don't forget to please subscribe to us on itunes and stitcher. Just search for Death Squad hit. Subscribe. And now, here's a brand new episode of the pilot episode of Hinchcliffe Notes.

[Rick Ingram]

They asked me what I do and who I do it for and how I come up with this up in the studio. All I want for my birthday is a big booty house. All I want for my birthday is a big booty house.

[Brian Redban]

Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from the Comedy Store.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How you guys doing today?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah,

[Brian Redban]

we got a brand new podcast here, guys. First episode, pilot episode. Let's bring the guy, the man up if he's here. Guys, give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe. I'm in the kitchen. What's up, guys? How's it going? Thank you guys for all coming out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I want to just tell everyone thank

[Brian Redban]

you for having us here at the comic store.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Guys, give it up a. Tony, I thought you were gonna explain. You said you. All right. Hi, everybody. I'm sorry I'm late.

[Brian Redban]

We were gonna talk about it. Me and you were talking about it. We were talking about.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This thing's already a hit.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, that's right. That's hilarious. But Tony has been on many episodes of Death Squad. If you've listened to the Ice House Chronicles, he's been on the Joe Rogan podcast and he's been asking for a podcast for a long time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And people have been asking Brian to give me a podcast for a long time. Let's not forget that.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, that's totally. My mailbox is flooded with a whole bunch of offers from other things. But no, and this is kind of cool because we've actually shot different ideas, which we might even do sometime together.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A lot of ideas.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. And what was your idea for this one?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I was looking at that note earlier that said, the Apple Dumpling Gang.

[Brian Redban]

We had this. I had this idea that I really want to do. I don't know if you guys ever remember the Apple Dumpling Gang.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Back. Yeah. Don Knotts and Tim Conway. I want to reboot that, but I'm Tim Conway, he's Don Knotts.

But we're just like.

It's like super dirty. Like, it's like the Apple Dumpling Gang grows up or something. Or it goes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't even know what the Apple Dumpling Gang is.

[Brian Redban]

Netflix that shit. Well, it's probably horrible now. Can you imagine?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, yes, I'm excited about this. This is fun. We have a different concept that I decided to go with here. I was good. I got really high one night and I had the idea that if I'm gonna do a podcast on a Monday night at the Comedy Store, in which there's 50 people that a lot of people don't know around the country and stuff that, you know, like 50 or 60 comedians come here every Sunday and Monday at 6:00'.

[Matt Devlin]

Clock.

[Brian Redban]

It's a mob.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's unbelievable. And everybody's been part of it at some point. Every great comic. I mean, you read the. You read whatever book, no matter how many decades ago or whatever, and they talk about a Sunday or a Monday night here. You know, signing up at 6. I mean, the system hasn't changed at this place forever. So when you said a Monday, 8 o' clock podcast, I'm like, how can we use the natural resource of this building to our advantage? Because there's so many comedians that want to do so much. I mean, and when you don't get a spot downstairs, it's just like a mind.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because you wait for an hour, you pay for parking. Right.

[Brian Redban]

You usually have to, like, do something like. Like miss something or do something just so you can make it there. Like leave work early. I mean, I remember trying to do it. I gave up pretty quick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Brian Redban]

Because that, I mean, it's like. I don't know. The other comedy clubs are even worse. I heard, like the Laugh Factory, where people are starting the lineup at 1:00 clock in the afternoon.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And you don't get on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And it's a random lottery. They just pick 15 random. Like maybe a few. Maybe a few. A couple employees owe a favor to or think they're really funny. And when they're making the lineup or whatever, they're like, you know, we got to give this guy spot. He's been hilarious for five or six years. We've seen him, you know, so. But other than that, it's very random. And I used to ride my bicycle here all the way from Burbank. You know, I would take the train at Universal City and get off at Hollywood Highland, and I'd bike miles right. Right around. Where you live is where I used to live. And. And it's crazy, the bicycle ride home after you don't get a spot.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, it's really a mind.

[Brian Redban]

It's almost as bad as getting the spot and failing and hating yourself. Like. Like you just want to kill yourself. It's almost that bad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And I think a lot of people, you know, I hear so many people say, how do you start? How'd you start? You know, the. It's like the million dollar question. You get asked that all the time. How do you even start something like that? And it's, you know, it's going through that kind of ridiculous grind. And once you do a spot, you do good, you want more. And it's. It's crazy.

[Brian Redban]

It's an addiction.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And so there were tons of people, and I figured, why not give everybody a smaller forum than the three minutes that they're trying to get? And that's all for three minutes, by the way. Yeah, so. But. So I said, what if we give everybody one minute and see how it goes? If I. If I brought a funny friend on and.

[Brian Redban]

Because then that's a total of four minutes. So you've added an extra minute. You've had 25%.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

If they get a spot downstairs. If they get a spot downstairs and made it to the first, you know, 15 people that signed up here, then they get a total of four minutes.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

33% more work than they thought they were gonna get tonight.

[Brian Redban]

And who knows, maybe down the line, you even tweak that number a little bit, you can add more percent.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. It's a growing podcast, guys. You never know what's going to go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's so experimental. It's crazy. This whole thing can fucking explode at any given moment. There's no doubt about it. This thing has no. Barely any structure whatsoever. But we're gonna try our best around me. And I have a very special guest, one of the funniest people I know Rick Ingram is here.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Wait. Wait a second. You know what? Rick Ingram is amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

But I think you need to really tell people what the name of this podcast is, because there's a lot of cont. I was at JCPenney's earlier, and I was looking at Twitter, and there was some controversy about the name because a lot of people think you should change it to something else. What do you want it to be?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm pretty bendable at this point. I always thought that a decent name for a podcast would be Hinchcliffe's Notes, because it's a. It's a cool mix of, like, Cliffs Notes.

[Brian Redban]

And it doesn't roll off the tongue, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, Hinchcliffe Notes, I'm pretty sure nothing with the word Hinchcliffe. And it's going to roll off the

[Brian Redban]

tongue unless you spell it out, which is a lot of what a lot of people on Twitter have. They think it should be H+Inch Cliff +E podcast.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

H+Inch Cliff +C. That's how you spell it.

[Brian Redban]

Right? But spell it out maybe like inch

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

plus H. It's H. It's not itch.

[Rick Ingram]

It's not an itch in there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's H plus inch cliff plus C. That's how I tell people to spell my when they go, oh, can you spell that out all the time?

[Brian Redban]

It seems like it's more confusing, though. I remember, like, it took me, like, a month to figure out what you

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

were talking about,

[Brian Redban]

like, H +inch cliff +E. Wait, what's. Oh, he's spelling it, but all right, I see.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's inch Cliff with an H at the beginning. And I don't know.

[Brian Redban]

Do you ever think about Hollywood ing it up? Like putting a red band to it, like having a Tony Baloney or something like that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tony Baloney. That's pretty easy.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Tony Baloney.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Does that roll off the tongue?

[Brian Redban]

That's perfect if your name was really Tony Baloney.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What if we keep it untitled and that's like, well, the pot.

[Brian Redban]

This is the pilot. That's what's good. This is the Tony Hinchcliffe pilot podcast. So this is when you figure out what you want this to be.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have to decide right now?

[Brian Redban]

No, by next Monday.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

By next Monday. I gotcha. So you guys might witness history at some point. I love it.

[Brian Redban]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How exciting.

[Brian Redban]

How'd you. When you first meet Rick Ingram?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I. I first saw Rick Ingram. I said. Like I said, I signed up. The first time I signed up here was a Sunday night, and I got to see Rick Ingram a Few nights after that, when I was just here watching one of the real shows for the first time. I think it was probably that Tuesday night, something like that. And my mind was blown because he's so funny and he's off the cuff all the time, and it's ridiculous. And he. Yeah, he just cracked me up. Him, Duncan Trussell. Like, there were a few people on that lineup because sometimes it's really old school here because there's a lot of people that have been here for decades. You know what I mean?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, totally.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And then all of a sudden, you see somebody like that and it gives you hope that you guys all know who Rick Ingram is, by the way. Should we? Yeah, let's bring him. All right, great. Ladies and gentlemen, my first and only guest tonight. Put your hands together for the one and only Rick Ingram, everybody. Yeah, Rick Ingram.

[Rick Ingram]

Hello.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How are you, buddy?

[Rick Ingram]

I'm fucking great.

[Brian Redban]

Interesting mic choice, by the way. The one right next to Tony. You guys are very close. I could tell it already.

[Rick Ingram]

I was confused if maybe I was supposed to sit there or why there are so many here.

[Brian Redban]

I'll get closer.

[Rick Ingram]

Let's bring it in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah. Talk about this.

[Rick Ingram]

Wait, do all of us have to take our shirt off? Or can we do like a shirt off, pants off, hat off type of thing? It's gonna get creepy.

[Brian Redban]

Let's touch ends of the mic. And we can't untouch it. The whole either.

[Rick Ingram]

Listen.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, it's happening.

[Brian Redban]

All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Rick Ingram]

Is that not the gayest thing?

[Brian Redban]

Now let's take our left hand and

[Rick Ingram]

put it directly on the crotch. So this is experimental, and I heard it from a hipster friend of mine that it's the best podcast that they've ever heard. Oh, yeah, Two weeks ago, they told me. They said it's not out yet, but it's fucking amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They love it.

[Rick Ingram]

So I knew they were genuine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm sure they're going to keep loving it because I highly doubt this train wreck's ever going to go mainstream.

[Rick Ingram]

Perfect. Well, as long as we can keep no listeners, it'll be high on their list, I'm sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Rick Ingram]

There's already too many people on this list of open micrs for it to be fully true.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, I was actually surprised. I went out there at like 6:30 or so, right? And I basically explained what was going on and only nine people signed up. And then after I walked away with the list, people started tracking me down. Like one after. They were all. They all. You could tell everybody. Everybody had second Thoughts. They're like, wait a second, what if I don't get up in this room? And how can this help me? I've never been on a podcast. I guess I could say that I did a podcast at the Comedy Store.

[Rick Ingram]

Have an extra minute to kill, right?

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

I mean, that's probably high on the resume. If they're looking to. If they're getting bumped down on the open mic downstairs, give them a minute of pure humiliation upstairs.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Rick Ingram]

Still get some attention, which is really what they want. Positive, negative reinforcement, doesn't matter. That's why most people are in Hollywood, because they don't care that no one likes them ever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Rick Ingram]

They can stick it out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, yeah. So basically the plan would be that they do a minute perfect. And we either.

[Rick Ingram]

Do we then sit them down here or is there a reason?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Or is that one of the producers of the show, Josh Martin, it was his idea to leave an empty seat and an empty microphone just in case somebody did so good that we wanted to call them over to the couch.

[Rick Ingram]

Josh, obviously an expert in comedy, knew that there was a lot of talent on the line.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I still think it's a good idea.

[Rick Ingram]

That's kind of like a cartoon dog version of Josh Martin. Yes, it is.

[Brian Redban]

Exit stage left, even.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, that's pretty good.

[Rick Ingram]

So are these people all open micrs or are these people here because they are decent people who want to make fun of bad human beings?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think it's a mix of both.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I see that death squad shirt right there in the front row.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think these people.

[Rick Ingram]

These people are here to watch the humiliation.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think so.

[Rick Ingram]

Beautiful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Or it could go good. You know, the. The other side of it is, as

[Rick Ingram]

Josh pointed out, we could. I might be scooting back over once the new George Carlin comes up here and crushes. Can you imagine a minute doing so good in a minute that the two of the most cynical people, probably three. I don't know how cynical you are, Red band.

[Brian Redban]

But if it's a girl, it's different.

[Rick Ingram]

But yeah, well, obviously that's vagina rules don't apply.

[Brian Redban]

No, I think if there's a hot one minute girl, we automatically she gets to go on the couch, right?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, that's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What are we?

[Rick Ingram]

San Fernando rules, I think is what that one's called, the casting couch. She can get it going in one minute. That's going to be exciting. And in one minute. I mean, it's. There's a good chance that Chris Rock would bomb if you only had one minute.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's possible. I mean, well, it's not really about the minute as much as it possibly is about a joke that's under a minute. Like, everybody also gave me a. The topic. Like, for example, you know, Skyler's gonna be talking about chicken dick.

[Rick Ingram]

Funny, funny shit. I don't even know if we need him to come up. He just crushed harder than he could ever follow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can we get a couch to push up next to the couch?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, we just Pete with chicken dick right off the top.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whereas Brian Farrell is gonna be talking about in quotations, black friends.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, shit. Hopefully racist.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I forgot.

[Rick Ingram]

Hopefully.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So that'll be fun. But, Rick, you have a lot of experience. Yeah. You've been on the road with Andrew Dice Clay, right? Yep.

[Rick Ingram]

Did some touring with Dice. Did some touring with Paulie. Wow. Pretty much met every single B star on their way down to Z stardom. And yeah, got to see the worst parts of America where they're still famous.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is there anything about.

[Rick Ingram]

No. I mean, it's like Pauly Shore in la, people are like, ooh. But like Pauly Shore in Sharif's Port, people are like, holy shit. I mean, top three most famous people list. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Pauly Shore, obviously. And I think that has something to do with country Music Television's love of the hit Pauly Shore movie. Son in law.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They do play that a lot.

[Rick Ingram]

They love it. And everywhere we went, people would tell paulie, oh, man, you can come stay with me, Paulie. We'll do a whole son in law too. And you could tell in Paulie's mind,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

he's like, maybe some producer in Shreveport's gonna make it all happen.

[Brian Redban]

My ex girlfriend has I fucked Pauly Shore T shirt and always bugged me. And her mom and dad has a Pauly Shore pict that when she met Paulie Shore on their nightstand.

[Rick Ingram]

See, that's beautiful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Rick Ingram]

That's what you want. Pauly Shore by your bedside?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Who has that by the bedside?

[Brian Redban]

My ex girlfriend's family.

[Rick Ingram]

Yikes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you went over there and you saw it?

[Brian Redban]

No, she. She took a picture. She told me. I was like, no way. She took a picture.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A picture of the picture?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy.

[Brian Redban]

And she had a I fucked Polly Shore T shirt.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

See, those were the worst nights were Paulie didn't pick up pussy at the show. Then it's fucking dredges. Then you're going to Hooters. And then if he doesn't get anything at Hooters, which, I mean, that's pretty fucking Sad. But if he didn't, straight to the strip club you hit up fucking, the finest thing Columbia, South Carolina has to offer. And yeah, eventually he'll leave with someone.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's a lot of comedians in the room that I'm sure would love to know what it's like going on the road with Andrew Dyson Clay. And yeah, if anything, anything, any wild.

[Rick Ingram]

The. The key for. I was lucky. I was in an era of Andrew Dice Clay, where he was experimenting with sleep medication. So I got to experience Ambien. Andrew Dice Clay, which at first I just thought, like, I was 23 years old at the time. And I was positive that, like, oh, this is so funny. Andrew Dice Clay calls me. He pretends to be a black guy, and it's just hilarious, right? You're like, oh, that's funny. That's pretty cool. No, this dude was straight hallucinating. In the middle of the night, he would call. My phone would ring at like 4 in the morning, and I'd be like, oh, it's Dice. And this would be if I was in town, if we were on the road, he just would call you. You'd answer, hey, motherfucker, this is Marvin. And you're like, oh, God, I just made it rain with my giant black dick. And like, it's one of those things, like, his impression is so bad, he has to reference in hallucination how black he is so that, you know, the character is black. So I was convinced it was just him fucking around. And then we were in Miami and we had to fly at like five in the morning or something like that. And Dice was still tripping fucking balls at the airport. He's yelling at the fucking security guy at that point. He thought he was a drill instructor. And the guys obviously knows it's Dice, and he's just like, you know, sir, did you have your luggage? And he's like, oh, where are you stationed? That soldier? And I was positive we're gonna get arrested. Doesn't break. The whole time, dude was just fucking hallucinating. So for like, six months, that was my life. Was like three times a week getting a phone call from Andrew Dice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What happened at the end of six months, he stopped taking Ambien.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. At that point, I think there was a situation where you'd, like, wake his kid up and they would drive around while he was hallucinating and pick up garbage. He would, like, fill his Escalade with trash. And so then after that he was like, this isn't safe. That was one of those eye opening you go out to your car and it's filled with the entire neighborhood's garbage and you're like, oh. And when I heard that, I'm like, oh. I don't necessarily think he's around now. Now I think he's hallucinating. So yeah, that was that. I got to meet O.J. simpson, you know, with Dice. With Dice, because Dice wouldn't meet oj. Second fiddle. OJ wanted to meet someone. God damn it.

[Brian Redban]

What did OJ smell like? Did he have a smell? Because that's one thing I've always sweaty

[Rick Ingram]

and he was giant and his hands were enormous. He put his arm around me and I literally thought I was going to be crushed to death. He had like a 27 year old blonde girl with him just ready to die. Didn't care.

[Taylor Dean]

Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

Take pictures. He made her take like eight pictures of us at the bar.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I even shout at them like that,

[Rick Ingram]

screaming at her, what are you doing? Take pictures. I told OJ about how much I love the Naked Gun. Should have seen the fucking smile on this guy's face. Oh, man, no one ever tells me that. Yeah, there's a fucking reason, oj.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

You're a fucking legendary football player and you murder people. So that comes up first.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Before the Naked Gun was the time frame that you met him. Was that before, after he got away with it, or before?

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, yeah, this is after that. This is. Wow. I mean, he got away with it in 94. I was 12.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Rick Ingram]

Although it would have made more sense for to be on a Dice Clay tour then.

[Brian Redban]

Was this during his selling black market satellite service? Did you remember those days?

[Rick Ingram]

I know he was in Florida because they wouldn't take his money there, I think. So he was stuck in Miami. And yeah, he just loved, loved Dice, loved everything. He remembered all my jokes that I told, which was really creepy because then you're like, oh, OJ's the annoying fan. Oh, you know what I liked? Oh, God, shut the fuck up, oj. But you can't tell OJ that, cuz he'll fucking kill you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Of course.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, yeah. I met Mitch Hedberg like five minutes later. And then I gave Mitch Hedberg back a bag of pills that I found in the hotel room.

[Brian Redban]

Serious?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. And then he was dead like six months later. But not because of those vitamins I returned to him. No, it's just I got to the hotel and we were staying at the Four Seasons in Coconut Grove or whatever and the improv just owns the. The two suites that they have. So it Was like the comics that were there the week before were staying in the same suite. And I checked in, and we got to my room, I'm like, this is fucking awesome. And then I opened up. Opened up the drawer where, like, the shitty Bible supposed to be. And there was no Bible. It was just a bag of pills, unmarked. And I was like, double dare. You know, you gotta fucking risk. Do you take them? Do you not? I was trying to figure out what they were. No. Then when I met Mitch Hedberg, he was like, hey, you didn't find, like, a bag of, like, pills in the room? Yes, I did. He came back, got him the next day, and, yeah, he's dead.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was about six months later he was dead.

[Rick Ingram]

Yes, it was.

[Brian Redban]

Saved him right there.

[Rick Ingram]

Why didn't you listen, I'm not gonna deprive a man of what he needs when he's in Miami. That's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you ever get to see Mitch Hedberg live?

[Rick Ingram]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Were you a fan of his work?

[Rick Ingram]

I was a fan. I guess the first time I saw him do it. The amount of Mitch Hedberg fucking knockoffs that I've seen since Mitch Hedberg has made me not a Mitch Hedberg fan. But, yeah, I don't. He's all right. I'm not really into the fucking one liner retard style. We got some of that on here. One liner retard.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's all under a minute, so you're definitely about to be perfect. This is so.

[Rick Ingram]

This is like Twitter open mic, essentially, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Exactly. You guys ready to get it started? Shall we?

[Rick Ingram]

Fuck. If people watch vine videos, why wouldn't they watch this?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Exactly. It's a quicker, faster format of an open mic and short attention span.

[Rick Ingram]

Comedy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah. Well, I mentioned this bit earlier and I'm excited to see it. Put your hands together. Chicken dick, everybody. It's Skyler. Yeah, Skyler's talking about chicken dicks.

[Rick Ingram]

Get that big chicken dick up here, Skyler.

[Skyler]

All right, what's up, guys? Sup? So as a black guy, I have this. I'm supposed to love chicken. I have this weird relationship with it. I can't eat chicken with bones. I don't like Sunny Sud. I have bags. It's like they're staring at me. So, you know, I went to my therapist and I figured out that I was molested by a rooster. I was literally forced to suck cock. But, you know, don't worry about it, you know, I still love pussy, you know, and I shouldn't have went into that Catholic church's chicken. And so you Know, I still love the pussy, and it's great. And, you know, you guys realize I'm talking about my cat, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you son of a bitch. And that's the dismount.

[Frank Castillo]

Hey.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, there you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How about that?

[Rick Ingram]

I mean, do you think.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We think we should keep the people up there for their. The second part, right? Okay, Skyler.

[Rick Ingram]

I think that would only be fair. Otherwise, we're talking behind their back, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Exactly.

[Brian Redban]

We gotta see tears.

[Rick Ingram]

I would. The first thing I would say is I felt like it was similar to the dice hallucinations you had to open with I'm a black guy. Just so we know that you're doing a black guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was very Marvin of you.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. And it almost. It almost sounded like it was Tony Gwynn style, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Rick Ingram]

It was like, well, I'm a black guy. Listen, you have to see it. If you're listening to this podcast, you would be like, that's racist. Pretend that that's a black guy.

[Matt Devlin]

Right.

[Rick Ingram]

So, yeah, inflection is maybe something I would work on, but I'm a black

[Skyler]

guy, so, you know.

[Rick Ingram]

Well, no, that was like a white guy doing a black guy. Or Travolta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Yo, yo, yo, yo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What up, everybody?

[Rick Ingram]

Shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Skyler]

I mean, I think I'll get more work if I do Travolta.

[Rick Ingram]

Almost iron. Well, that was a Travolta.

[Matt Devlin]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What he's doing.

[Brian Redban]

He's doing a black Travolta.

[Rick Ingram]

If you only got one minute, you should have just opened with Black Travolta.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep. There you go. Yeah, and that's. Then that's. This part of the show. It's called tag it or faggot. That's right.

[Brian Redban]

Faggot with a ph.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So there you go. You got your tag. You're the new black Travolta. You can open up with that. There you go, Skyler.

[Rick Ingram]

Lucky son of a bitch. Look out, bath houses in WeHo. There's some new black cock coming to town.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Even Skyler is the whitest name ever of all time. I've never met a black Skyler before.

[Rick Ingram]

He was doing animal word plays and shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Chicken dick. Catholic church's chicken. I heard there. Yep, yep.

[Brian Redban]

That was fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thought about those things at one point. You want to. You just want to pick a random one off the list.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, shit. So they all have to be in here. That's how it works.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'll go down the list, and then you can pick randoms as we go on.

[Rick Ingram]

You could pick it from the fuck Yeah, I think. I mean, you're going to follow chicken dick. You got to follow it hardcore. With something like Yao Ming's tough childhood. Jaron Horton. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gerard Horton.

[Jaron Horton]

Thank you all for having me. Being tall is stressful, y'.

[Tim Greer]

All.

[Jaron Horton]

It is, because short people always tell me what they would do if they had my body. You know, hey, man, if I had your height, I'd be in the NBA right now. I'm like, nah, man, you just be a tall college dropout. You know, that's like me going up to a guy in the gym locker room. Amen. With a dick like that, I'd be doing porn right now. You know, a lot of people ask me. They're like, jaron, what is it like being tall? And I just tell him, being tall is like being an Asian kid in high school. Just a lot of pressure to be great. That joke is called Yao Ming probably had a Tough Childhood. That's it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Very good. It's a good joke.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. It was one golden rule. You can always make fun of Asian people. So well played there.

[Jaron Horton]

Thank you.

[Rick Ingram]

You.

[Jaron Horton]

Thank you.

[Rick Ingram]

That's right off the bat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Now you're in a locker room a lot where you're naked around guys that would.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Let's talk more about dick watching.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Jaron Horton]

At 24 Hour Fitness, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's.

[Rick Ingram]

That's all there's there to do is. No, I don't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's all is that project. Have you ever checked out the weight room before?

[Rick Ingram]

There are a few issues with his rebuttal that I have.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I have more beef with the rebuttal than I do the joke.

[Rick Ingram]

Listen, I don't know what you guys do at the gym. I go in and just look at dick. I don't even go in the locker out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's good for your triceps, your biceps. I work everything out right there with my dick watching.

[Rick Ingram]

But as a comedian, you know when you sat there and you saw the dick that inspired this bit. Yes. You had to be like, hey, you know what? I can write this whole day off for taxes now. Because that's going to be part of my show. So Dick watching on the taxes minus $20. Keep that on the 1080 next time. Yeah. All right. Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was great, man. I love it.

[Rick Ingram]

I don't know if you guys know, we. Right off the bat, you started Tony. You broke the color barrier. Comic number one, the Jackie Robinson of the show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Definitely chicken dick. Sky chicken dick.

[Rick Ingram]

And then he probably again, he was the Tony Gwynn. So this was probably the Jackie Robinson right Will Count Jaron is the first black comic on the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's so excited about that. You could totally tell he's been called light skinned his whole life.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, that was a good way to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why do they call it really urbanized?

[Rick Ingram]

Jaron.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, Gerard. And come back up. Question. Why is there a D2D's in the word light skinned?

[Jaron Horton]

Light skinned. Because light skinned it. I don't know. Light skinned, light skinned black people. We just got bad grammar, I guess.

[Rick Ingram]

Fuck. Amen. Actually.

[Jaron Horton]

Yeah, that's all it sums up to is better.

[Rick Ingram]

I gotta call this just honesty. Holy shit. In the belly room. Hilarious.

[Jaron Horton]

Oh, man.

[Rick Ingram]

He was like, you know what? There's not even a joke to add to that. It's just bad grammar.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But you should take that one and run with it, man. I can't do that joke about black people having bad grammar. I think that's your target sometimes. I think you made it through the faggot phase and you went straight to target.

[Rick Ingram]

No homo.

[Brian Redban]

No, I got to get.

[Rick Ingram]

Fine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Definitely. That's fine. Me and big hashtag with this.

[Rick Ingram]

No, I'm the Greg Hibbert of the fucking Tony podcast. I say no homo and I don't care.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, thank you, Jaron.

[Brian Redban]

All right, thank you, thank you.

[Rick Ingram]

That was not. And what a great representation you got him to answer for all black people on grammar.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was amazing. I mean, that's a really. I hope that gets, like, quoted in Wikipedia or something one day.

[Rick Ingram]

That absolutely.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was the explanation from Jaron Horton. Well, there's been so much talk of blacks and whites and Asians.

[Rick Ingram]

Tony, the way you said blacks, like, you really seem like you emphasized hatred at the beginning of the beat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, that was blacks with a capital L. Blacks. But next, going down the list with a joke about that's just called racist, everybody.

[Rick Ingram]

An oldie but a goodie.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Put your hands together for Rich Slayton.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, that's a racist name. Rich Slayton.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, he looks racist.

[Rick Ingram]

Fuck yeah. I'm buying it already. Very much so.

[Rich Slayton]

I got called racist for the first time. That's a white nightmare. Because there's no good response to being called racist. I can't say yes, and I can't say I'm not racist because that's the internationally agreed upon verbal signal for I am definitely racist.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right?

[Rich Slayton]

A close second. When a white guy wants to use the N word. No, it's okay, bro. I have black friends. No, you don't. You know a black guy and he thinks you're racist.

[Rick Ingram]

That's what you get.

[Rich Slayton]

Awful cracker White people want to say the N word now. It's weird. They want to say it, like, in a fun way. There's only. Only one time where a white guy can get away with any version of that word, and that's if it's. If it's an art, if it's in a play or a movie or a character. If it's in a song. If it's in a song, sing that song as the artist intended. Don't change the artist's lyrics because you're uncomfortable with that word. Only in a rap song, by the way, not in a country song.

[Rick Ingram]

You don't want to. You don't want to do that.

[Rich Slayton]

I really wish my dick was bigger so I could look just like a. Don't finish that lyric. That's bad news. And that's it, guys. My name is Rich.

[Rick Ingram]

Thanks, Rich Slate, the grand wizard of comedy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's definitely. There was a. It felt. It felt like it had to do with race.

[Rick Ingram]

It was race based.

[Rich Slayton]

That was a topic.

[Rick Ingram]

Okay, yeah, good talk, guys. Yeah, I think it could really, you know, crush all throughout the South. You could do a full tour of former Confederate States.

[Rich Slayton]

They got the haircut for it.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. Maybe get one of the two black guys who open for you to go with you and objectify him in some way.

[Rich Slayton]

Soften the crowd a bit first.

[Taylor Dean]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

And then Cracker. I mean, that. That was pretty offensive, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was the part that really stood out to me, too. It was a very hard cracker. Like, you said it. You landed on it a lot of hate.

[Rich Slayton]

I threw the er really hard.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, Yeah. I think with an A, maybe Cracker.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's fair, right?

[Rick Ingram]

For future referencing. Totally. Well, guys, that's.

[Rich Slayton]

That's insightful.

[Rick Ingram]

Killer stuff, though. Oh, also, didn't he have great comedy cadence?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He was really pushing.

[Rick Ingram]

It was like 80s style. You know, it was coming.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your hand going like that, and you build it up, right?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, it was good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you have the beard that every casting agent in Hollywood loves. Totally everything. You could be in every beer commercial.

[Rick Ingram]

The looks called organ chic.

[Rich Slayton]

Portland, guys.

[Rick Ingram]

That's right, Portland, Eugene, wherever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And have you ever cut down a tree before?

[Rich Slayton]

No, but I want to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you have a commercial agent?

[Rick Ingram]

None.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, if there's any commercial agents listening right now, Rich Slayton would play a great white guy on anything white.

[Rich Slayton]

Really good at it.

[Rick Ingram]

All right, you know what? You know what you're good at, and I do appreciate that about you, Rich Slate.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, there you go.

[Rick Ingram]

Thank you, guys. All right, thanks, Rich.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm gonna give that one a faggot.

[Brian Redban]

With a faggot. Huge faggot.

[Rick Ingram]

Definitely a faggot. Was that what watching baseball was like when they still had the Negro Leagues? And so you'd go watch. It's just like four or five really skinny white guys kind of playing. Not that excited. All right, Am I choosing now?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep.

[Rick Ingram]

You know, I see something here about fat people who wear fatness shirts. And I think we haven't had the fats represented yet. So. Jeff Schwind.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah, Jeff Schwind.

[Rick Ingram]

Here he comes. He doesn't even look fat. He doesn't look fat at all.

[Jeff Schwind]

It's fitness, by the way. I find it ironic when fat people wear T shirts promoting fitness. The other day I saw a guy wearing a Nike shirt that said there is no finish line. And so I just came to the assumption he wears that to the Golden Corral.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Corrections.

[Rick Ingram]

Fuck, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that the whole. Okay,

[Rick Ingram]

well, is Golden Corral a sponsor? Is there anything we can positive we can take from this?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They were a sponsor before that just happened.

[Rick Ingram]

That fucking. They said no chocolate fountain after that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We had one fucking sponsor. Golden Corral was nice enough. And they just texted. That's why red bands. Going to figure it all out. Right now he's talking.

[Rick Ingram]

You know what?

[Brian Redban]

We're screwed, guys. We're screwed.

[Rick Ingram]

What kind of insults me in a way is he didn't even try and use up his minute right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I know. It's definitely. That was definitely like a queef.

[Brian Redban]

That was a queef.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, totally. You want to do another 20 seconds or something?

[Brian Redban]

I think he's got like 58.

[Rick Ingram]

What's was that? If that was the opener, what would you close with? Do the closer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Keep it short.

[Jeff Schwind]

I don't know if I have a closer. Not under a minute.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What would you have done had you gotten the three minutes downstairs?

[Jeff Schwind]

Couple of road rage jokes from the Midwest. We don't really have road rage there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, like, what?

[Rick Ingram]

All right, you set it up, so keep the joke going. Oh, he just does the whole set up and he's like, but I won't do the joke.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Knock, knock. Who's there? I gotta go.

[Brian Redban]

Road rage. You know that. Like that Ohio sniper that killed like 23 people like 10 years ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was that Ohio?

[Rick Ingram]

I thought it was D.C. yeah, it was Ohio.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Rick Ingram]

Ohio had their own sniper?

[Brian Redban]

No, it's the same guy. He traveled.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, Interstate.

[Brian Redban]

You know, he also was in Arizona.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Interstate.

[Rick Ingram]

80 taxpayer dollars, man. Obama.

[Brian Redban]

All right, let's hear a middler. A middler.

[Jeff Schwind]

What's A middler.

[Brian Redban]

Like in between an opener and a closer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a joke.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, I thought you. I thought you knew. Like, he had a Bet Midler joke. I was like, do the middler.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do the big Midler closer.

[Rick Ingram]

I thought he was gonna do a whole song and dance.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Cause there's no business. I don't even know what she does.

[Rick Ingram]

Jesus.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She's like.

[Rick Ingram]

That was like Eliza Minnelli.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I get them all confused, man. They're all just famous.

[Rick Ingram]

They're all unfuckable trolls is what you want.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know why they're famous. Bette Midler, Liza Minnelli. It's all like the same thing, I guess.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not in place.

[Rick Ingram]

Boner killing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Every time I go to Avon's, there's no makeup.

[Brian Redban]

I don't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, Bette Midler did do jokes, didn't she?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, like Avon jokes.

[Rick Ingram]

Lucky girl.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you have any Avon jokes?

[Jeff Schwind]

I don't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you ever been. Have you ever been more uncomfortable on a stage before?

[Jeff Schwind]

No, this is only my fourth time, so.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, wow. All right. Four times. I mean, what. Let's talk about what got you there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

What was the. What was the moment where you said, yeah, this is what I'm doing.

[Jeff Schwind]

This is why I'm moving to la.

[Rick Ingram]

What was the break? So you didn't start until you came to la?

[Jeff Schwind]

No, I did a couple of shows in Indiana.

[Rick Ingram]

Indiana? Little Hollywood.

[Jeff Schwind]

Yeah. You know Snickers nightclub?

[Matt Devlin]

What?

[Rick Ingram]

Big time out there, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What part of Indiana?

[Jeff Schwind]

Fort Wayne.

[Rick Ingram]

Whoa, whoa, that's it. Metropolis. Jesus. What? What, do they have a club there? Is there like a Chuckle Bin or something?

[Jeff Schwind]

They have a Snickers.

[Rick Ingram]

Snickers. Get the fuck out of here. You gotta get down to Snickers in Fort Wayne next week. Hanging with Mr. Cooper's gonna be there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He was actually on the line up here last night.

[Rick Ingram]

Fuck yeah. See, that's the kind of big time names we get odd here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Mark Curry.

[Rick Ingram]

Wow. Snickers is there. Do you have a connection? Can you hook up the fucking podcast with maybe a week at Snickers?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can we do like a month at Snickers, you think?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, get us July through September.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fuck, yeah. So what did you even talk about? All I remember is Coral.

[Rick Ingram]

He was in something. Listen, I think you got to get the out of here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You definitely get the congratulations.

[Rick Ingram]

Ellen was a Ph and a couple Fs couple. The PF was at the end and it was silent and there was a hard capital F at the front. That was the sound of the queef. After you say faggot. Faggot.

[Brian Redban]

That's hilarious.

[Rick Ingram]

Disturbing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Up next is Matt Devlin, whose joke is. Won't be doing any 911 jokes. Perfect. I know Matt Devlin. This is a funny guy, actually.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, yeah. Holy shit. Excellent.

[Matt Devlin]

I wrote that joke in Fort Wayne.

[Rick Ingram]

Yes. Callback.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Matt Devlin]

You see that? Professionalism. How much time we got?

[Brian Redban]

It's.

[Matt Devlin]

It's a joke. It's a joke, but it's a segue. It's a segue into a segue when you're in places like Indiana and you need to let the crowd know that it's about to get fucking horrible. And half the time you're breaking even. So fuck em, right? And the joke is I won't be making any. Relax, I know what you're thinking. Don't worry about it. I won't be making any 911 jokes tonight. Mainly because all the good ones are already taken and they don't translate into English very well.

[Rick Ingram]

Was that. Was that the. You take it from there yourself.

[Matt Devlin]

Like genocide and terrorism and abortion and, you know, the good.

[Mike Stanley]

The good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. So that's a hilarious joke.

[Matt Devlin]

I know. I think I'm down to eight seconds, so I'm just. I'm not gonna step on it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was that last part part of it? All right, forget it.

[Brian Redban]

He just fucking comes on my shoe. Tony came over my shoe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It happens. I'm sorry.

[Rick Ingram]

There's a lot of. There's a lot of man boners for the. For that one.

[Brian Redban]

You like that joke? Yeah. I mean, you were, like, really amazed by.

[Matt Devlin]

You should have seen it in Florida. It was. I went down a treat at Mako Island. You ever been to Marco Island? Check that place out.

[Rick Ingram]

God, he does promotions for Vacation Destination.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I want to check that place out right now.

[Rick Ingram]

You imagine if there was an actual commercial and just this flashed up up there and he's like, go to Florida. Trust me.

[Matt Devlin]

Old white people in golf carts.

[Rick Ingram]

Fuck yeah. You have a Boston accent. Are you from the New England area? No, not at all.

[Matt Devlin]

Yeah, I grew up in Pembroke, Massachusetts.

[Rick Ingram]

How far is that from Worcester?

[Matt Devlin]

It depends on who's driving. My sister will get you there in about 40 minutes. And you to the commoner, it's about an hour and ten.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, so your. Your sister, she can fucking fly?

[Matt Devlin]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Rick Ingram]

Hell yeah.

[Matt Devlin]

Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

Well, if I ever go to Worcester, I'm gonna look, you know, have you call your sister.

[Matt Devlin]

You say it right? That's a good stat.

[Rick Ingram]

I knew a guy from Worcester, he thought it was the coolest city on Earth, like, bragged about it, like, it was fucking great.

[Matt Devlin]

It's a shithole.

[Rick Ingram]

Exactly. Like, I mean, there's no way. Worcester, Mass. Is fucking awesome, right? But he would always sit, bro, fuck, where are you going? Yeah, I'm going down to Miami. Fuck Miami, bro. You want to fucking go to a city that can potty, go to Worcester, Massachusetts.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. What I've learned is everybody's favorite place is just where their favorite dive bars are, where they've had the best experience. Yeah, it really sucks when you get out on the road, because then all of a sudden, you have to take the advice of people that, you know, you just met.

[Rick Ingram]

Like, and.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, but, like, a little bit more than five years now, and we just really had a great one pulled on us. A couple weeks ago, we were in.

[Matt Devlin]

Am I finished.

[Rick Ingram]

Holy shit, man. Calm down, bro. I think we should let him go, man. Dude, it's gonna fucking kill us.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it now.

[Rick Ingram]

It's great. You fantastic attitude.

[Matt Devlin]

My old lady's going out of town for a week. I gotta go. Ten days.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Well, they will definitely not fag it then. Not faggot. Go tear that Matt Devlin, everybody.

[Rick Ingram]

Honestly, if anyone leaves the room and the rest of us end up dead from a bomb explosion, look into that guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, he's great, right? Charisma. But we were in charisma. We were in Sacramento.

[Rick Ingram]

They said about the Unabomber.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We were in Sacramento, and after one of the shows, you know, we asked everybody like, hey, where's a cool place to hang out after this? And they're like, we took Sacramento, took the advice of a couple guys that are, like, real fans.

[Brian Redban]

They had squad shirts. Yeah, thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. And they were, like, talking to us about things we've talked about. Anyway, so we really took their advice. We're like, all right. We had 20 bars recommended to us. We're gonna go to this bar. And it was a. It was a gay bar.

[Brian Redban]

It was called the. In Live, the Living Room, which happens to be the other part that it's

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

called the Living Room. And we ended up driving by it, and it's actually just somebody's house. It's literally their living room. And if you go there, they serve you drinks and basically try to fuck you. From what we understand, it's Oprah abuse.

[Brian Redban]

It's.

[Rick Ingram]

It was from what you understand and didn't experience.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then we realized it was a gay bar. And then we went to that place that had all the meth heads. It was, like, something, right?

[Rick Ingram]

Much better.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was really crazy methods And a pool.

[Rick Ingram]

Hand jobs or blow jobs, that's the only difference.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was Sacramento.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

So, wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here we go.

[Brian Redban]

I'm still lost in that last guy's eyes. He has very charming eyes.

[Rick Ingram]

He does. He had the kind of eyes that could kidnap Elizabeth. Smart. You know what I mean? You're just like, yeah, this guy might be a God.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He had strategically messy hair. That's always funny when people mess up their hair, but, like, you could tell that they looked in the mirror to

[Rick Ingram]

do it for spicing.

[Brian Redban]

I feel like if I talk to him long enough, I'll remember being molested in a garage.

[Rick Ingram]

That's a nice feeling.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You almost.

[Rick Ingram]

You remind you of beautiful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Let's keep it moving.

[Rick Ingram]

Listen, I'm looking at this list, and I know right now if there's one thing I want to see, it's a white guy doing an impression of a black guy. So let's go. Taylor Dean. Drunken Obama. Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely.

[Taylor Dean]

No, I. I know I look like Mitt Romney's biggest fan, but. No, I. I really do like Obama. I think he's fantastic. I like him. Especially at the White House correspondence dinners. It's just really great to see him loosen up because he's always so dignified, and he's still dignified at those dinners. But I think you never see him drinking on camera. But I think he drinks before the show, like, has a couple openers and then just goes up. And he's really poised while he's doing it. But I like when he's up there, and I like how he makes fun of himself. Just like America. See, when. According to Fox News, when it comes to the redistribution of wealth, America is like a giant cookie jar. Yeah. And if you get. See, it's a metaphor. If you give a mouse a cookie, oh, he's gonna want another one. He's gonna tell his friends. Soon, the number of cookies in the jar runs thin. This is a problem that afflicts America today. This is going nowhere. So that was fun, I guess. I sent it to Saturday Night Live, but they haven't called me back.

[Rick Ingram]

Hold on a second.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait a second.

[Rick Ingram]

You cannot name drop things that you fail at. That is part of bragging. You can't just say, oh, I put that on this thing. That is going to be tremendously unsuccessful for my career. Just in case any of you ever get to see some sort of a reel called things that never get you booked.

[Brian Redban]

All right.

[Rick Ingram]

So there is no punchline to that. You just. You thought you would flow into.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. What do you normally do when it's not just a minute. You just keep doing a speech. Like, do you have one memorized?

[Rick Ingram]

Or is this like a shay matash type of thing where you're hoping that eventually the impression. She was a comic that used to perform here, and she had blonde hair, too. She did impressions. And one thing I noticed from watching her was her impressions would go on long enough that eventually the crowd would start the. Yeah, we get it.

[Brian Redban]

Clap.

[Rick Ingram]

So is that, like, how the punchline usually where you just keep doing the impression and eventually the crowd's like, okay, please, you don't have to give us a punchline.

[Taylor Dean]

No, I like to do it until it gets to a point where it's just gotten bad. Okay, I'll try to make fun of it as a punchline. Kind of like what I did.

[Rick Ingram]

So instead of doing good comedy, you just keep it bad and come up with quips to talk about how bad it is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Rick Ingram]

Successful game plan.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a really good approach as opposed

[Rick Ingram]

to having it to fall back on and being able to come up with just write it bad and specialize on the making fun of it.

[Taylor Dean]

I think. I think the impression. The actual inflection is good. It's just. I'm. I'm not black.

[Rick Ingram]

Okay, listen, that's your problem, not my problem. I can't make you. Is that what we should have suggested? I would be black if I were you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're definitely not black.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, but the Obama. Is that the big impression you do the Obama. That's your good one. You don't have, like, I like Obama.

[Taylor Dean]

I like Jim Carrey.

[Rick Ingram]

You do? You do a zany Jim Carrey impression.

[Taylor Dean]

Oh, I love Jim Carrey.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you do the Jim Carrey that does good impressions? Jim Carrey.

[Taylor Dean]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can you do good impressions? As long as you're doing an impression

[Rick Ingram]

of Jeremy, maybe you should always go

[Brian Redban]

through them like it's a warp.

[Rick Ingram]

Tunnel man.

[Taylor Dean]

I just. Yeah, I love his expressions.

[Matt Devlin]

Like he.

[Taylor Dean]

And have you seen his unnatural act?

[Rick Ingram]

He's a Canadian, so. No,

[Taylor Dean]

Rick. Rick. I don't. Rick hates Canadians. If you haven't got.

[Rick Ingram]

Listen, it's not hatred. It's just utter disdain for a group of people.

[Taylor Dean]

I don't know how there's who want

[Rick Ingram]

to be us so badly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you Canadian, Taylor?

[Taylor Dean]

I think hate is a shorter word. It's a more concise version of utter disdain or something longer that you can think of.

[Rick Ingram]

Trust me, I save my hate for individuals, not groups of people.

[Taylor Dean]

Carey is Canadian.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When you were tucking in Your shirt earlier. Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

When you were putting. When you were putting together the Honda blue shirt, team outfit. And you're gonna get us all a great deal. This is the comedy. See, I feel like. Cause when I started doing comedy, I did it in Kansas City and I was in college, and, like, when you start, you just don't know stuff. And people would give us the worst advice, and one of the things they would always say is, like, oh, and you gotta make sure you dress the part. Like, you can't just go up in jeans and T shirt and expect people to think you're a comedian. And I feel like this is kind of how I would have dressed. Like, taking their advice, I'd be like, all right, I'm gonna. You know what? Brunch with grandma. That's what I'm going for.

[Taylor Dean]

It's kind of backward. It's like someone who dressed to be successful.

[Rick Ingram]

Right.

[Taylor Dean]

But didn't know how to dress to be success. This is how I dress.

[Rick Ingram]

This is every day.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Play a lot of golf every day.

[Rick Ingram]

All right.

[Taylor Dean]

Golf.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Taylor Dean]

Yeah. I'm your average comic. Plays a lot of golf. Like, so.

[Rick Ingram]

He's got Kato Kaelin hair. Just look at him. Let's get some wind on him.

[Taylor Dean]

Who's Kato Kalin?

[Rick Ingram]

Holy shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Rick Ingram]

How old am I?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How dare you? What do you. What are you gonna do next? Burn an American flag?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, no kidding. I'm up here telling OJ Stories, and this guy doesn't even know who Kato Kaelin is. Wrong crowd, wrong crowd.

[Taylor Dean]

All right, so.

[Rick Ingram]

All right, well, Taylor, who is he? He was a. Yeah, you'll figure it. Google that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, there he goes. Taylor Dean. He's about to go pick up a shift at Best Buy right now, straight

[Rick Ingram]

to the electronics department, where he'll be entertaining Charles Fleischer for two hours. Wow.

[Brian Redban]

That was my uniform when I was the assistant manager of a General Cinema movie theater in Columbus, Ohio.

[Rick Ingram]

That's the fucking look.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Authority. Did you like that job?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, I wanted to kill myself every single day.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Were you, like, the projectionist guy or, like, what was.

[Brian Redban]

No, I was an assistant manager, but it was also a projection name drop period of time. No, you should throw that outfit away.

[Rick Ingram]

Wait,

[Brian Redban]

get.

[Rick Ingram]

Get rid of the joke in the outfit.

[Brian Redban]

No. What?

[Rick Ingram]

Is that your guitar?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why are you leaning.

[Rick Ingram]

Why do you have a guitar?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Please tell me you're leaning up against somebody else's guitar.

[Rick Ingram]

That would be even better.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think it is, and I think it is. Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

You had an opportunity to really impress us with one minute of A zany song about you and your frat brothers or something, and you chose to do that Obama bit. That went nowhere. All right, only suggestion for. For Taylor, I would say write punchlines, right? Focus on punchline writing.

[Brian Redban]

Or sentences.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, even full sentences. And if you're serious about snl, maybe impressions of people of the same race that they might have you play on Saturday Night Live, they're really not in

[Brian Redban]

hurtful need of a good Obama.

[Rick Ingram]

Do you do a killer Oprah, by any chance? Because there's a character they'll also never let you play that you could work on. All right, We've been mean enough.

[Brian Redban]

Unless he just did all black people that he would never be able to do in blackface. In blackface.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That could be your whole thing, Taylor. Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Don't focus on being funny. Focus on the straight racism.

[Brian Redban]

Yes.

[Rick Ingram]

Let's. We'll hook him up with Rich Slate. We're gonna have Rich Slayton teach you a thing or two about moonshine, and

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

we'll bring you back an unknown comic of. Of the Ku Klux Klan.

[Rick Ingram]

That's.

[Brian Redban]

It.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just wears a hood on stage.

[Rick Ingram]

Little do we know there's a banjo on that guitar case, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

World's biggest banjo. Oh, my God. There's nothing you could do other than put on a white hood that would make you more racist.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your fucking shirt's tucked in, dude. Either you're racist or you're. You have a guitar case full of Bible booklets right now.

[Rick Ingram]

He kind of looks like Zack Morris from when they worked at the Malibu Sands Beach Resort, you know? And he's like, he just got back from fucking Stacy Karosi, and he's got that fucking hair flip, like, let's win this volleyball tournament.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What happened?

[Rick Ingram]

You know what I like about. It's important when you're a comedian to understand things and to be able to reference things. You go the opposite direction, which is an interesting decision. I'd rather just not know anything about society. All right, keep up the great work.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old are you, Taylor?

[Rick Ingram]

What, 24.

[Brian Redban]

God, I thought he said 44.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah,

[Rick Ingram]

he was educated at home by the ShamWow guy, though, so you can't expect the highest level of education. Oh, my God. That's the Ivy League of infomercial education, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We did fat people who wear fat shirts, right?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. Fit the fitness shirts, but, yeah, we did do that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fitness shirts. All right, should we do Little Brother Goes to the Hospital. Frank Castillo.

[Rick Ingram]

Yep. Here you go, Mr. Castillo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Louis Castillo]

Thank you, guys. Thank you. I have a little brother and little Sister. I'm not saying I like one more than the other. It's just that if there's ever fire, I know which one I'm picking. That doesn't make me an asshole. That just makes me efficient. My little brother went to the hospital today because he had three pieces of peas and a few pieces of rice stuck up his nose. I wasn't mad. I was actually really impressed. That's two away from my best record. This is the kid you're gonna hear about who gets his dick caught in something, and I'm gonna be that little brother or that brother that gets that phone call at 2 o' clock in the afternoon and be like, hey, listen, I got my dick stuck in the vacuum again. Don't worry, I got you covered. Just remember, turn it off and twist and pull. That's what got me out of it.

[Rick Ingram]

All right, thank you. All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Frank Castillo. You're Mexican, yes?

[Louis Castillo]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you only have one brother and one sister?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

Well.

[Rick Ingram]

Unbelievable. That's not a believable joke. I didn't even think about that.

[Louis Castillo]

Divorced parents, so actually I got three siblings in total.

[Skyler]

Oh.

[Rick Ingram]

But because of the divorce, you don't count them as real siblings.

[Louis Castillo]

No, they're only half.

[Rick Ingram]

Bravo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Interesting. Now, how many vacuums are there to get your dick stuck in in a typical Mexican household?

[Louis Castillo]

Just about three. And one's at least a Hoover.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go.

[Rick Ingram]

I feel like that was aimed at white people. Hoover's such a strong white name.

[Brian Redban]

That's a Target brand.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is it?

[Jaron Horton]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Guys, there's going to be a lot of potential for all sorts of sponsorship on this right Podcast from what I've so far, a lot of good references.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Target Golden Corral is already dropped us, but we got to get new ones.

[Rick Ingram]

Yep.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Mike Stanley]

Are.

[Rick Ingram]

Do you know, or are you related to a Mexican named Houston Castillo?

[Louis Castillo]

No, no. Castillo is a popular Mexican last name, apparently.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How about Louis Castillo?

[Louis Castillo]

No, not Louis Castillo.

[Brian Redban]

How about Albert? No.

[Rick Ingram]

All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Rodrigo?

[Louis Castillo]

Rodrigo? Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Rick Ingram]

All right. He's obviously his primo. He doesn't want to talk about it.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I got confused. Honestly, I daydreamed at one point during that. Yeah, one point you were talking about the brother and the sister, and then all of a sudden you were on peas, and I'm like, I missed something important, but I don't think I did.

[Rick Ingram]

I think the problem was it was repetitive in its format. So it started out with peas and rice up the nose, and then. It's funny because you've already done it.

[Jeff Schwind]

Yes.

[Rick Ingram]

And then when you do the second bit about getting your dick stuck in a machine. It's the same twist. Once again, you. You have already done that before, so you got to get rid of the. The first setup punchline. Otherwise, it's not a misdirection.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then I would change peas to beans to make it more realistic. Yeah, okay.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Maybe hit him with like. Yeah, throw a few beans up there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, yeah, but you got it.

[Rick Ingram]

It's got to be like. Yeah. He stuck peas and rice up his nose.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Beans.

[Louis Castillo]

That's beans and rice.

[Rick Ingram]

Beans and rice up his nose. And that's so stupid. I would never do something that dumb.

[Brian Redban]

Right?

[Rick Ingram]

And you know, this is the type of kid who's gonna get his dick stuck in a vending machine. Trust me, I would know. See, at that point, you're not stupid anymore.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go, Louis Castillo. That's a tag.

[Rick Ingram]

There you go. Tag it. No, faggot on that one. He got it. Ill faggot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a whole new bit.

[Rick Ingram]

Los Faggot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We changed everything that was in that bit.

[Rick Ingram]

I'm like, here's what we do. We change. I used to have a bit about. It's completely different. Just take this one. I don't do my act anymore. And to be honest, if we've learned anything from Carlos Mencia, it's that a Spanish accent is going to make this a lot funnier.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

So. All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Awesome. The random pick from Rick Ingram.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. When he said peas, I was really turned off by the idea of somebody eating peas and rice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

That's fucking weird.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. It didn't make any sense.

[Rick Ingram]

And peas smell terrible, so how would they ever go up your nose?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, there's a.

[Rick Ingram]

Actually, it'd be more likely if he was like, yeah, my brother was letting someone pee in his nose.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Rick Ingram]

I'd be like, yeah, okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that would have been weird. That would have been a big twist.

[Rick Ingram]

See, for a second, I looked down, I thought that said Kenny Loggins, but it says Kenny Lyon. Faux restaurants.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think that's what we're gonna get about this. I like a good bowl of foam.

[Rick Ingram]

Ain't afraid to show it up. Yeah. Ken Griffey Jr. That shit. Turn the hat backwards,

[Frank Castillo]

folks. Y' all know about these pho Vietnamese restaurants? Pho. I like them. I was walking last week, I saw one with a unique name by the name of Pho Tastic. Next day, I saw another pho restaurant by the name Phoenix Beulus. I was kicking it in Compton because I was going to get some weed. Saw a faux restaurant that just opened by the name of Faux Real. The one in Compton. Crenshaw, everyone. Excuse me. By the name of Faux Show. It's one opening in Hollywood by the name of. For Life. All right. Y' all don't like shit.

[Rick Ingram]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

I was hoping for like, 20 or

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

there was 30 more.

[Rick Ingram]

There was already a lot of tags, but the only one he missed was Twitter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think you should forget about five of those tags.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, he might even be a fog it. Hard to say. A dick sucking.

[Matt Devlin]

I love that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When you get into why you were going to Crenshaw, it has to be because that's where you buy your weed.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, that's racist.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know that you can just get a medical card now. You don't have to, right? I mean, that's a long. That's a long, dangerous trip.

[Rick Ingram]

But he buys his weed in 1996. Everybody knows that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's the good shit.

[Rick Ingram]

What's your race, by the way? Guatemalan. Mexico is Mexico. It's a Dave Taylor classic. I can't act like that's mine. That is a DT Classic.

[Frank Castillo]

But I. But for ladies, you know, it's still a mystery. I know you guys were a little confused, but for ladies, I could be whatever you want me to be. I could be whatever you want me to be.

[Rick Ingram]

What the is this guy doing right now? I'm pretty sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm pretty sure he just.

[Rick Ingram]

He was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gave a plug for his penis.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. It was like, you know what? This didn't go over well. But I'm still gonna try and get some pussy. So while I'm in the spotlight.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God, he's doing that. I guess that's an international.

[Rick Ingram]

It doesn't matter. Border to border. That one is eating pussy.

[Brian Redban]

Let's give him. Let's get him away from us, man. He's creeping me out now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go, everybody. Kenny Lyon.

[Rick Ingram]

Kenny Lyon. You know how much better that would have been if that was Kenny Loggins?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can't believe that's what Kenny Lyon looks like.

[Rick Ingram]

Me neither. Not what I was expecting. We should rename that dude Kenny Lyon. Yeah, he could be Kenny Lyon. Lion O. Travis Travers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's a whiter name? Kenny Lyon? Taylor Dean or Skyler from earlier. Remember the.

[Rich Slayton]

I like that.

[Rick Ingram]

Skyler's just one name, like Sinbad.

[Brian Redban]

Skyler.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh. All right. So our next lovely contestant will be Mike Stanley with Quit drinking here. He is very unique. Oh, he's got a comedian hat on. This guy's got comedian hat.

[Rick Ingram]

Mike Stanley.

[Mike Stanley]

How's it going, everybody?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And the comedian jacket.

[Mike Stanley]

Yeah, you guys are. Can I do it? Do it.

[Brian Redban]

Good.

[Rick Ingram]

Go.

[Mike Stanley]

Okay, good. You guys ever get so drunk at the end of the night, you think you're looking at a menu and a Denny's, but it turns out you're sitting on your toilet looking at a picture of a sandwich on Instagram, calling your girlfriend waitress for 20 minutes? Don't call your girlfriend waitress. That's mean. She's an actress. They hate that. I quit drinking, actually. It's been two years since I had a drop of alcohol. Two years. Thank you. Thank you. Ugly chicks are pissed. It's like, sorry, I'm not taking the potion that fixes your face anymore. That's the thing, when you quit drinking, you've got no scapegoat anymore. You've got nothing to blame anything on. No one's ever blamed a one night stand on being drowsy.

[Rick Ingram]

You know what I mean?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right?

[Mike Stanley]

No one's ever had too much soup and thrown a trash can through the windshield of a squad car.

[Rick Ingram]

Right.

[Mike Stanley]

If I piss the bed now, I'm fucked. I've got no one to blame that on.

[Rick Ingram]

Right?

[Mike Stanley]

If I do it at a friend's house, that's even worse. What am I gonna say? Oh, I left the window open? Wolves must have jumped in, pissed all over your comforter and just my crotch. They were very selective about the territory they were marking. Last time I got super drunk, I was hanging out with my high school buddies and I was just like, wow, I cannot wait until you guys graduate. Three more years. You guys hang in there. I'm Mike.

[Rick Ingram]

Stanley.

[Mike Stanley]

Thanks, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah. There you go.

[Rick Ingram]

That was misdirection.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That was so good. I think somebody should buy this guy a shot right now. Fuck yeah.

[Mike Stanley]

Take drinking right now to celebrate.

[Rick Ingram]

One wolf urine. Very strong smell.

[Mike Stanley]

Thanks. I don't know why I'm thinking so

[Rick Ingram]

comparison than odorous urine for you. So congrats on that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have you been doing comedy, Mike?

[Mike Stanley]

11 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy.

[Rick Ingram]

And you agreed to do a one minute spot on a belly room.

[Mike Stanley]

Well, when you start somewhere else and then you come out here, you're. Your credits don't transfer. You know what I mean? It's like you come from a shitty

[Rick Ingram]

college, you got to come from a place like Fort Wayne, Indiana. I know.

[Mike Stanley]

You know what's my respect? I've played that room that he talked

[Rick Ingram]

about and they wouldn't have me back.

[Mike Stanley]

They wouldn't have me back you.

[Rick Ingram]

So you're banned from Snickers in Fort Wayne. Yeah.

[Mike Stanley]

I mean, that should get shot from Snickers. This is what it looks like when you get chopped from Snickers.

[Rick Ingram]

Everybody spots else. I would just go into clubs and be like, look, I don't have a manager or agent, but they don't let me perform in Snickers in Fort Wayne. What about Butterfingers? Oh, so you got material minimum for you right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What did you have to do to get to not be able to perform again at Snickers?

[Mike Stanley]

What they, what they do there is. I don't know if you've. Here's what happens. The guy who owns it also tries to do a talk show at the beginning of it, a cable access talk show.

[Rick Ingram]

Always successful.

[Mike Stanley]

Yeah. So he has people who write for him just like the shittiest one liners and stuff like that. And he films it and then puts it on public access. So he needs the comedians to be as clean as possible. And yeah, they booked me for a weekend. I worked there. I sold a bunch of stuff. I had a great weekend. And he was like, you were great. And then I found out from the, the booker, they were like, you're too blue for his TV show. So I didn't fit for the cable access show that he was filming so they wouldn't have me back.

[Rick Ingram]

Whoa, hold on. So you're telling me there's a Cracker or Snickers TV show? No, there's a crack.

[Mike Stanley]

There's a cracker who runs Snickers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's about right.

[Rick Ingram]

How is the Snickers TV show not taken off? They're giving TV shows to that dude from snl and the owner of Snickers already has a format figured out that we all would love. Wow. So did you have to be a guest on the show and or does he interview local people?

[Mike Stanley]

No, you're just like, you're there to do the show as a comedian, like a normal weekend, like a Wednesday, Saturday, and then he just takes parts of your acting and puts it on his cable access.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, okay, I see. Yeah. Wow, that's fucking a nightmare.

[Mike Stanley]

Which is crazy that he couldn't find like three minutes of material out of my act because I was doing like 45. And like he couldn't just take three minutes from my act and put it in there.

[Rick Ingram]

Jesus. Who is the guy that has performed at Snickers before?

[Mike Stanley]

He scooted out of here.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, well, he's probably crawling back to Snickers as we speak because he's done in the Belly Realm.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you so much.

[Mike Stanley]

Yeah, great format. I love this, by the way. This is Great. Good to meet.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, yeah, we'll try and get you real spot, cuz you seem professional.

[Mike Stanley]

Thanks,

[Rick Ingram]

man.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, that was awesome.

[Rick Ingram]

That's like a legitimate Philadelphia comedian outfit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I mean, that is really the comedian getup.

[Brian Redban]

So are you going to have like a semi final round? Are you picking like a winner or are we picking or are we just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, I didn't really think of that. I was just sort of thinking about.

[Rick Ingram]

I don't think there are winners in today's contest.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. But maybe we could get like the like four weeks of winners and they have to like kiss each other or something on stage.

[Rick Ingram]

That wouldn't be bad. Maybe Elephant walk, the top three from each week.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I think Taylor Dean would love that idea.

[Rick Ingram]

What do you think?

[Brian Redban]

He's gonna murder us.

[Rick Ingram]

Chaz Lyon.

[Brian Redban]

Now I know what that outfit is. That's. Nevermind. I was gonna say that movie. Remember the American Psycho movie?

[Rick Ingram]

Let's just go down this lineup because extra work, extra work is the topic and the name is really the joke. We're talking to Andrew yanker.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

Get Mr. Yanker up here. Oh, he's got a BJ vales face. I like him. All right. Absolutely.

[Andrew Yanker]

How you guys doing tonight? I moved to Hollywood to be an actor. Yeah. But currently my car is getting more work than I am.

[Mike Stanley]

Guys,

[Andrew Yanker]

they're like, I go to auditions, I go to auditions. I go to auditions. And they're like, oh, Red Jedi. You can come back in a few hours. We're gonna need that car. But I'm making a little progress. I was in a photo shoot yesterday and they told me to get out of the shot. They were like, what the fuck are you doing here, man? You're supposed to be in the background.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love you.

[Rick Ingram]

That was amazing.

[Brian Redban]

That's amazing.

[Rick Ingram]

You've got. You're like half human, half demon. If Dave Matthews had sex with a demon, you would be its child.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Love how you keep looking at your own reflection in the mirror. That's over here. You still do it. I'm sorry. You don't have to look down like that.

[Rick Ingram]

I wouldn't change anything about anything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I absolutely love it. It's like a real misdirect. Because the amazing part of his misdirects are that you never truly think he's about to go where he's about to go.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And he goes there.

[Rick Ingram]

He did go there, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So it's almost like.

[Rick Ingram]

And you told us the joke and they kind of laughed like, that's not funny at all. And then after that, then you were like. You threw in another little tag then. Yeah, yeah. Then they were like, the Jetta's, the Jeddah can come back. But like, it didn't work though.

[Brian Redban]

But the beginning, his first sentence gave a sense of foreshadowing almost. I'm an actor.

[Rick Ingram]

The setup was pretty good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What was the first sentence?

[Rick Ingram]

Something about. About going.

[Brian Redban]

What was the first?

[Rick Ingram]

Car is getting more work than he is.

[Brian Redban]

Because, I mean, he's an actor.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, actor.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So he's an actor. And then the car.

[Rick Ingram]

Where are you from? New York City.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy shit.

[Rick Ingram]

It's from New York City. Wow. Well, if you ever. If you ever want to go to a real city. Fort Wayne, Indiana. That's where the best of the best started. And other than la, it's the only place that has a real comedy scene. So forget about your country roads of New York City. And. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know.

[Rick Ingram]

I don't know what to say.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yanker, I think. I think you're unbelievable. How long have you been doing stand up in Los Angeles?

[Andrew Yanker]

Six months.

[Taylor Dean]

Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

You seem like. Like he should be one of the characters from that movie strip. Were you in the military? Have you ever been kicked out of the military? Because you might be a little off kilter.

[Andrew Yanker]

I went to a military camp and they didn't like me too much there.

[Rick Ingram]

Military.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old were you when you went to military camp? Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

Did you get sent there?

[Andrew Yanker]

Yeah, my dad sent in it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does your dad do for a living?

[Rick Ingram]

Why is your dad such a dick?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your dad's a lawyer.

[Rick Ingram]

What did you do to get sent to military camp?

[Andrew Yanker]

I didn't get straight A's.

[Rick Ingram]

That. That was it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Rick Ingram]

Isn't this the plot to Bill and Ted's excellent adventure?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can one of the serial killers who performed earlier go kill this guy's dad?

[Rick Ingram]

We need to set him free. Unchained this man's mind because I think it's going Yankee.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're fucking hilarious so much. Yeah, that's a. Tag it without even. We're not even gonna tag it. That's a. Keep it exactly the same.

[Rick Ingram]

What I liked about him, like, there was a slight creepy thing to him, but not like child molester creepy. Like he's the type of guy that might molest a child molester.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Rick Ingram]

He's a child molester. Molester. So in a way he's doing good.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's like Dexter but like totally gross.

[Rick Ingram]

He's. He's the kid raping.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He can only blow a load if it's on a.

[Rick Ingram]

Some creep yeah, yeah. Oh, you've. You've touched kids before. Hello. Yanker. I mean, that's obviously gonna be the name of the show. Yanker.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How we doing on time?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, I think we have time for maybe two more. Let's do two more quickie.

[Rick Ingram]

Fuck yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. You guys having fun out there? Is this. Wow. Okay. You want to pick one or just go for it. Okay, I'm interested.

[Brian Redban]

Wait, is there any girls? No girls.

[Rick Ingram]

No girl is gonna allow us to make fun of them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They wanted to see what was gonna happen in the first one and feel it out.

[Rick Ingram]

We need someone that we can objectify.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you want to do a minute?

[Brian Redban]

Yes. There we go.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. Whoa.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's how fast it happens. Some estrogen up in this party. That's right.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

Pussy power.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Okay. Pussy power.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I've been on stage like three times, so perfect.

[Rick Ingram]

That's two more than most of the comedians tonight.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

So I'm sure you can tell by the way I look. I went to school for video game design, which means I'm unemployed like most others. It's basically like the 2010's version of an English degree, which means you're not going to go anywhere in your life. I suck at this, you guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, you're great.

[Brian Redban]

I want to tag it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Pocket. Stay in the pocket.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

It's not that kind of tagging. Slow the down. This isn't a Bag it and tag it. Don't. Don't pound each other.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's hilarious. No, settle. Settle down. She's like, relax.

[Rick Ingram]

She's got attitude now. I like it better. I love it. She's just yelling at you guys. We're seeing Silver Lake. Tina Fey.

[Brian Redban]

Silver.

[Rick Ingram]

It's a compliment.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I'm gonna take that as a compliment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it is.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I view her as intelligent and also hot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

So that works.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you don't scar.

[Rick Ingram]

There you go. That's the key.

[Brian Redban]

I could tell she has big areolas.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

It's like saucers.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Silver dollar nipples.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

As soon as I take my shirt off, I just start singing. Jimmy Crack Corn.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Damn.

[Brian Redban]

I could tell.

[Rick Ingram]

I don't even know if that's a racist reference or not, but I hope it is. What's your name, by the way, since you're not on this list? Right.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

Sarah Most hijabi.

[Rick Ingram]

We're not gonna repeat that.

[Brian Redban]

If you say it three times, something happens.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

My dad comes out of the mirror and tries to choke you with a gold chain.

[Rick Ingram]

Holy.

[Brian Redban]

There we go.

[Rick Ingram]

You should have opened with that.

[Brian Redban]

I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, exactly.

[Rick Ingram]

Gold chain, choking fathers yes, I'm half Persian.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I'm a day walker though. I can get to the airport.

[Rick Ingram]

A day walker? That's very close to a Canadian racial slur. I like ice walker. Just thought I'd point it out.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I don't know what that's about.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, nice. Half Persian, half what, by the way?

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I don't know. Europe got together, raped some Cherokees. I'm turned into this.

[Rick Ingram]

Wow.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Rape Cherokees?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I'm German, Irish and a little bit of Indian. That means like, like.

[Rick Ingram]

Listen, hey, everyone's so Indian. We're not filling out scholarship forms. We don't have to pretend to be Indian.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Rick Ingram]

Some of us can just be normal white people with no native blood whatsoever.

[Brian Redban]

I'm spiritual too, is what I was trying to tell.

[Rick Ingram]

Okay, well that's cool then.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So could you like not decide what you wanted to do with like long hair, short hair?

[Rick Ingram]

It's the modern mullet.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

No, my hair is cut like Final. Final Fantasy from Final Fantasy 13.

[Rick Ingram]

I know.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

Final Fantasy video game.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you're a real.

[Rick Ingram]

That's why you attack. Wanted to tag it immediately.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

Yeah, most of actually I just forgot cuz he may as made me nervous. But most of what my bits are about is how I discovered my vibrating controller with Final Fantasy. Because it's a true story.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

God, why did you summon Odin again?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Hey, I gotta show you my. I got this video game called Rev. I think it was called Rez.

[Rick Ingram]

Ah, yes.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

We just talked about this.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, and I got that.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

You can attach it to your wrist.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You could also put it in your asshole. It's pretty fucking great. I'm sure you'll like it.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I mean, I was at home masturbating, playing Pokemon like every other 13 year old boy. So I was really happy.

[Brian Redban]

Pikachu.

[Rick Ingram]

Pokemon. My God. I feel like we're just in the middle of like we're sitting here in between. Destiny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. I think she's gonna be a huge star. I think you got to change your last name. It's a little bit aggressive. Either that or use it as a. Use it as an opener. Acknowledge.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

Jabby.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Then you could do that, the gold chain dad thing and maybe show some nipples. Jesus Christ.

[Rick Ingram]

Just so you know, I don't want you to feel objectified. He's done this to every comedian we brought up here tonight.

[Brian Redban]

Done it all night long.

[Rick Ingram]

Loves nipples.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

If only. I get kicked out of Snickers, right?

[Brian Redban]

Damn.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have you been doing? You've only done it a few times.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I've literally this Is my fourth time on a stage.

[Rick Ingram]

She's already doing callbacks. Did you hear that Snickers reference just now?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, I missed it. She fucking crushed it. Holy shit.

[Rick Ingram]

You're at level three even though you've only been on stage four times.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I know, I'm really good at leveling up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're already. You're.

[Rick Ingram]

Bet she fucks better than all of us.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Definitely.

[Sarah Most Hijabi]

I get all the pussy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You've only been on stage three times and you're already the seventh funniest female in the country. So congratulations. Give it up for Sarah, everybody.

[Rick Ingram]

Sarah, we have time for one more. We got one more. That is never going to be able to follow Sarah. She looks like a hot Barry Melrose with that haircut.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sorry. In advance to any comedians who didn't get on we an experimental adventure.

[Brian Redban]

I've had fun.

[Rick Ingram]

What? What does that say, Tony?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That says Junior Seaw. And that says aid. I think it says aid.

[Rick Ingram]

An AIDS dating site. Is that a bit. Does someone have a bit about an AIDS dating site?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tim.

[Rick Ingram]

That is Tim.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is Tim here? Tim Greer, Is it an AIDS dating site? All right, Tim Greer.

[Rick Ingram]

The best of the best.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

If it was ad dating site, we were gonna go with Junior SEO. But since it's aids. Yeah, great.

[Tim Greer]

So that's the thing. I'm gonna start a website for people that have aids. I feel bad for them. What I'm gonna do, I'm gonna call Date aids. Date aids. Think about it. It's benefits of having an AIDS dating website. You can tell within a 50 mile radius who has AIDS. Like that beautiful woman you see jogging down the street. You're gonna think differently when you see that bitch's profile on date aids. Like, nope, you're burnt. Like serious. I mean, it's that. But that's. Look, there's benefits though, okay? If you want to commit suicide and you just really want to give the fuck up, this could be better than the suicide hotline.

[Rick Ingram]

Like for real. It could.

[Tim Greer]

Like, fuck. You will go on day dates. You know, find you a good profile. Call her up. Hey, how long you have to live? What you doing tonight? Like, seriously, that's a good thing. But hey, that's my date aids.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a really funny premise.

[Rick Ingram]

Funny premise, yeah. One I feel like you ignore the science, the fact that people don't just drop dead of AIDS anymore. There is just medication for it, right? So that, you know, there's not necessarily going to be an expiration date for everyone with aids.

[Brian Redban]

Although, did you know that us three had aids?

[Rick Ingram]

Because that Also is somewhat.

[Tim Greer]

You guys can have the first three profiles. We can even like plug them.

[Rick Ingram]

He tagged it. I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go. That's a tag.

[Rick Ingram]

He tagged that one. And an AIDS dating site, maybe throw in like, it's called ChristianMingle.com or something like that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah, there you go. There you go.

[Rick Ingram]

Just, you know, something that would really offend people and at the same time make everyone else really happy, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, but you're really, you're really gonna have to try to t sell this idea to Nice.

[Jaron Horton]

Wow.

[Rick Ingram]

See now just. Just so people know, had it been the racist rich slayton up here instead of Christian mingle, I would have said black peoplemeat.com. but I didn't want. I didn't want to sound racist myself. Nice. Black guy said it was funny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're in. Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Okay.

[Tim Greer]

Light skinned it don't count.

[Rick Ingram]

Hell yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This guy's starting out this. He's going against the light skin.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Not only did he steal the east coast comedians comedy jacket, but by the way, for those of you have only been on stage less than five times, get the black leather jacket and start being a comedian today.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're gonna see this guy in two weeks wearing the same hat as the guy that's been doing it 11 years. There's no doubt about it.

[Rick Ingram]

All right, thanks, man. That was fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I have one more question for you.

[Mike Stanley]

Nobody.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because you made a comment about light skinned it earlier. Who, who said that? People call it light skinned because black people call it that because they have bad grammar. What would be your reasoning as to why it's called light skin? Did with two Ds.

[Tim Greer]

They're trying to like fully extend the light skin, you know, to really show you how light they are.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Emphasizing. Yeah.

[Tim Greer]

Emphasizing, yes.

[Rick Ingram]

So it's, it's just a. Rub it in deeper. Like, you know, you're so much lighter, we have to say it incorrectly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're light skinned it.

[Rick Ingram]

Damn. Also, I don't know if this is racist, but are you related to David Allen Greer?

[Tim Greer]

No. I wish.

[Rick Ingram]

Fair enough. I wish I was too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There he goes. Everybody give it up for Tim Greer.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah. Gotta extend it. I'm gonna use that. I'm gonna just add EDS onto things. I want to emphasize.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What can white people do that with?

[Rick Ingram]

I don't know. I think if we, if we said, oh, that that Greek guy is dark skinned, that shit would be racist as fuck.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Rick Ingram]

At least it sounds that way.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Because they'd be like, why do you have to say it like that?

[Rick Ingram]

And I'd Be like, well, because I'm racist against Greek people. They're filthy animals.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But really, that's what they're being, right? Couldn't, couldn't they? Couldn't one say that it's racist to make fun of a lighter skinned.

[Rick Ingram]

Well, yeah, but it's not. It's not racist to be black people. They can do whatever they want. That's the rule.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So that's it on comics, right, Brian?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I think we should. We have another podcast coming up that we have.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Awesome.

[Rick Ingram]

Does it. Do you guys wonder what it feels like to be one of the people who didn't make it on to tonight's

[Brian Redban]

show twice in a row?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

There's people waiting around. They're like, oh, I'm next. I'm next. And now how many more?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anybody sign up? That's not. That didn't get on here or downstairs.

[Rick Ingram]

Those are the people who got Henson.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's who. That's who I want to talk to. He's got a junior say.

[Rick Ingram]

I'll bet.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here's Kyle Henson, everybody. Oh, yeah, the experiment, the great experiment continues with Kyle Henson with his bit. Junior say all.

[Matt Devlin]

Thank you.

[Kyle Henson]

Thank you, Tony. Awesome podcast. Congratulations.

[Rick Ingram]

Points.

[Kyle Henson]

Junior Seow died. Sad. Oh, I found out on Facebook, like, what happened in the good days. Used to find out somebody died from a reputable source like tmz. I don't believe it though. So I go to Wikipedia. It says, junior Seow shot himself in the chest. Like, if you point the gun this way, you're probably gonna die. That got me a little bit more curious. Like, guys, how much do the saints pay for hall of Famer suicides? Some people don't get that joke. I understand. And other people are just butt hurt. Like Patrick Swayze or a kid in a Penn State locker room. Joe Paterno means no, thank you, guys. I'm Callhance.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My favorite part of that set was when a lady in the middle of the audience just goes, what? What?

[Rick Ingram]

The good old days of tmz. What? Like you understand protocol for how comedy shows work and at the same time, you felt it was important enough that you question his joke mid bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The rest of us thought the same thing. We just. We were just able to keep it in the. What do you say before the Paterno thing? Oh, Patrick. So you took a shot at Patrick Swayze?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Kyle Henson]

For no reason either.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why would he be butthurt?

[Kyle Henson]

He died of colon cancer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, he died of pancreatic cancer. I was the first one to write the joke about it.

[Rick Ingram]

Wait, hold On. You're the first person to write the pancreatic joke about Patrick Swayze.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

As soon as he. Here's what's crazy about this situation. As soon as he got pancreatic cancer. I know that that's one of the fastest moving cancer. So I'm sure I need to write the first Patrick Swayze as dead joke because it's gonna be big for me in a month. I was really. My favorite thing is always to be the one that tries to like, attack whoever dies and then listen to the. I try to write something funny about it and then listen everybody go, oh,

[Rick Ingram]

you didn't do it. It's too soon.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nobody but right you love. I was literally working out in the comedy show down stairs in the original room for a month Patrick Swayze is dead jokes. And the first joke that I ever sold, I made a hundred dollars off of my Patrick Swayze joke. What's the creator? Cancer.

[Brian Redban]

Are you allowed to say it?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's. It's not. Well, basically it was pretty nai. I shouldn't say it, but yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

Something about one minute to tell us. Oh, no. Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The gist was Ghost 2. This time it's for real.

[Rick Ingram]

Great punchline. If some of these comics had your punchlines. You know, maybe this will be a

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

good fucking Andrew Yanker. I'm trying to get that guy to write for me.

[Rick Ingram]

I'm telling you, I'm trying to get that guy to finger bang me. Yanker was fucking.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You want to yank her in your stanker. Sorry, everybody.

[Rick Ingram]

Yanker in the stanker.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fuck yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

All right. Wow. That this.

[Kyle Henson]

Well, my minute kicked ass. You know, it was better than the not three that I got downstairs.

[Rick Ingram]

True.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

You made someone's nights.

[Kyle Henson]

This is it, my career. I don't have to work anymore.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So much comedy heat right now. You could iron your shirt with it.

[Kyle Henson]

I probably should.

[Rick Ingram]

We really should have let Sarah headline.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, definitely the last two. We know that one for next. We'll have Sarah on next week. The follow up. Kyle will never have you on again. Thanks a lot.

[Rick Ingram]

This was the big shot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

It's over.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. But thank you so much.

[Mike Stanley]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Rick Ingram]

What's that? What was that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's this?

[Brian Redban]

Is that a faggot or a tag it?

[Rick Ingram]

He was light skinned. That was for emphasis. All right, we could do one more,

[Brian Redban]

but this is the last one. We have to do it real fast.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here we go then. How about the guy. The guy named Slope has. I just got to go with that. With this. Slope has State, Ohio joke Lopez.

[Rick Ingram]

I'm assuming that's a possibly retarded person with the last name Lopez Slopez. Well, he was too slowed. Hispanic person.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He didn't make it.

[Rick Ingram]

How about Lopez? No.

[Brian Redban]

All right, let's just end this.

[Rick Ingram]

Gay roommate. Do it.

[Louis Castillo]

Ingram.

[Brian Redban]

Where can people find you?

[Rick Ingram]

People can find me wandering around the streets of Sherman Oaks online. Twitter. Rick Ingram.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you just made the very hilarious show called the Rick Ingram Experience. He's so funny that he calls out people in the crowd and he interviews them as his actual guests. Instead of bringing in celebrities, he just brings up people from the crowd and turns these strangers into hilarious interviews. And it's unbelievable. They can check that out where?

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah, this summer they're gonna release when they're not out yet, but the summer they should be released on will be out on YouTube at least.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Awesome Rick Ingram Experience. I'm sure that'll be the start.

[Rick Ingram]

Also, I have a podcast called Embrace the Hate that is not as racist as it sounds.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sounds awesome. Embrace the Hate. Well, fuck yeah. Well, thank you so much for being part of this. It's been a real pleasure.

[Rick Ingram]

And again, those hipsters were right. This shit's the bomb. Well, raise the roof.

[Brian Redban]

Be doing this every week at 8:00pm Hell, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's gonna be a whole new thing. Thanks to the death squad fans that came out and made it tonight. You guys are awesome. Hell yeah. Laney and Jerry are here.

[Rick Ingram]

Kato Kaelin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Josh Meyerowitz up there.

[Rick Ingram]

Oh, he's my favorite completely normal person.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Shout out to David Pierce.

[Rick Ingram]

David Pierce.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And all the creepy lawyers associates. Hell yeah. All the creepy lawyers that sent Andrew Yanker to military camp.

[Rick Ingram]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah. Tony Hinchcliff on Twitter. Thanks, Redban.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you. All right, stay tuned for the Ding Dong Show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Rick Ingram]

It.