KILL TONY #11

Summary

Kill Tony #11 — August 28, 2013

Hosts: Tony Hinchcliffe & Brian Redban
Special Guest: Kevin Christie
Iron Patriot (Recurring Character/Panelist)
Location: The Comedy Store, LA

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Episode Overview

Kill Tony continues its live comedy workshop format where up-and-coming comedians perform one minute of stand-up, then get immediate feedback from the hosts and guest panel. This episode blends stand-up with frank, unfiltered discussions about joke structure, delivery, personal stories, and the changing landscape of comedy. Highlights this week include unexpected musical performances, a deep dive into joke writing, and a healthy dose of roast, critique, and camaraderie.

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Notable Segments & Discussions

1. Opening Banter & Recent Events

• Tone: Casual, Confessional, Bantery
• Early discussion about recent drunken escapades, emotional vulnerability, and pop culture (notably Breaking Bad and TV finales).
• Memorable quote:
  • Tony (re: drinking): “I have this thing. When I get really wasted, I just start crying. It's not like I'm crying, my eyes just start crying.” (03:23)
  • Host (on Breaking Bad): “If you can’t get into this, I don’t want to be your friend anyway.” (04:01)
• Discussion of TV show endings: Sopranos, Lost, Seinfeld — “But, they tell you what happened...you know he got shot in the head.” (06:21)

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2. Iron Patriot’s Musical Number & Band History (08:00–19:00)

Iron Patriot, a fixture on the show in a full-body suit, performs an original song ("Banana Song") complete with a prop banana, tracing its history to his Dallas band Dirty Crabber (1992).

• The song: a double entendre about monkeys sharing bananas—“Banana, it's a mystical song. It can mean many things.” (12:31)
• Hosts & guests rib him for both the absurdity and the hidden sexual/racial undertones of his material.
• Kevin Christie: “Did anyone ever raise the question that this is the most racist song in the world at any point?” (20:13)
• Iron Patriot awkwardly discusses his interracial dating history (“Jungle Fever”), leading to good-natured but pointed critiques about dated or racially charged terminology.
• Panel pushes Patriot to explore his past and reflect on changing times, with repeated jokes about bananas being thrown onstage and the 90s Dallas music scene.

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3. Comedian Sets and Panel Feedback

Each performer delivers a minute of original stand-up, then faces raw feedback:

Brian Moreno (27:58)

• Premise: Having a gay brother and the blurry line of what’s considered "gay."
• Panel advice: Cut the fat; get to the punchline faster.
  • “Word efficiency is very important...boil down a joke to just tag, tag, tag...” (33:08, Kevin Christie)

Josh Martin (35:07)

• Premise: Aging body, gray hair on chest at a young age.
• Panel: Encouraged to tag/expand the premise.
  • “I like conceptually, that your body is fucking with you and you have young, old and yourself at the same time.” (37:31, Kevin Christie)
  • Fun banter about his Southern accent and speech patterns.

Brad Sacks (39:38)

• Premise: Donating hair clippings; edgy cancer/OxyContin jokes.
• Panel: Liked the dry, “thank you” tag after jokes (potential personal signature).
  • “Anything you can find that's a mechanism like that, like Jim Gaffigan's inside voice—they are invaluable.” (42:16, Kevin Christie)

Jared Campbell (45:17)

• Premise: Black people, Brokeback Mountain, gay subplots in movies
• Panel: Encouraged to search for perfect movies to apply “gay twist” jokes.
  • “Your job is to look at the history of film and try to really find...the perfect three or four films.” (47:54, Kevin Christie)
  • Suggestions include “Boys in the Hood” → “Boys on Boys in the Hood,” and “The Fast and the Curious.”

Gem (53:10)

• Premise: Time in British prison, accent-based bits.
• Panel: “Readily prevalent doesn't make sense; it's either readily available or prevalent.” (54:13, Kevin Christie)
• Encouraged to develop British prison experience more uniquely.

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4. Noteworthy Bits & Critiques

• Joke Construction:

  • “Be present in the room. If something weird happens on stage...mention it.” (31:09, Kevin Christie)
  • “If your first idea is hacky, throw it away and go to the fifth.” (73:01, Kevin Christie)

• Recurring themes:

  • Many jokes focused on “being gay in unusual situations.” Panel emphasizes that being gay is less shocking now; hacky or tired clichés don't land unless taken to fresh, conceptual heights.
  • Both panel and performers have fun with sexuality, gender, and pop culture (sports, superheroes, video games).
  • Cautions about playing too hard on racial or sexual stereotypes—either dive all the way in for a brave, risky joke, or steer clear if only “dipping a toe.”

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5. Final Regulars: Sara Mostajabi & Kimberly Congdon (89:37–99:18)

Sara Mostajabi

• Premise: Sexual identity as shaped by video games/style inspired by Final Fantasy.
• Panel feedback: Consider how visual presentation influences crowd expectations; find unique angles as a woman into nerd culture.
  • “Be careful of letting your look be too cool...your look can get distracting.” (94:47, Kevin Christie)

Kimberly Congdon

• Premise: Living under the radar in LA, sneaking out of her apartment in a suitcase.
• Panel: Story needs to be tightened, more punchlines, and characters defined.
  • “Tighten that up, because that was just more of a story...” (98:24, Tony Hinchcliffe)

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Memorable Quotes

• Kevin Christie (on self-confidence and onstage energy):
  • “No one wants to see a comedian who looks fearful.” (82:32)
  • “The only way to be unique is to be yourself.” (89:06)
• Hosts on comics referencing the room:
  • “Making the crowd present in the room is a huge advantage.” (31:24, Tony Hinchcliffe)
• Iron Patriot (on being a regular):
  • “This is the only show I do. I love this show.” (26:49)

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Important Timestamps

• 08:00 – Iron Patriot’s banana song and the origin story of Dirty Crabber
• 20:13–23:40 – Iron Patriot’s song analyzed for racial undertones; discussion about “Jungle Fever”
• 27:58 – First open mic set (Brian Moreno)
• 35:07 – Josh Martin’s set and feedback
• 39:38 – Brad Sacks’ edgy one-liners and the importance of comic "mechanisms”
• 45:17 – Jared Campbell’s “gay movie twist” premise; crowd/guest riffs
• 53:10 – Gem’s British prison story
• 89:37 – Sara Mostajabi’s “video game sexuality” jokes
• 97:06 – Kimberly Congdon’s “landlord suitcase drama”
• 98:55 – Panel’s wrap-up and parting advice

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Notable Moments & Tone

• The Iron Patriot is both a mascot and an unpredictable wildcard; his “banana” song, odd confessions, and earnestness are irresistible and ignite some of the show’s most absurd fun.
• Kevin Christie stands out with sharp, precise critique—he constantly advocates for authenticity, economy of words, and pushing concepts to new places.
• The whole episode is replete with bursts of real laughter, quick zingers, and a refusal to coddle comics—but always with a constructive edge.

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Episode Takeaways

• Kill Tony remains a unique space for comedy trial-by-fire, mixing supportive advice with tough love and plenty of hilarity.
• The best-performing comics and panelists are those who acknowledge the room, trim the fat, and push premises beyond stereotypes.
• Feedback is as much about performance as it is about being honest, inventive, and true to self—whether you’re a superhero-suited patriot or a regular hitting the circuit.

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For comics:

• Be present in the room
• Get to your punchline quickly
• Avoid tired premises unless you bring something new
• Acknowledge how your look/performance will be perceived—use it
• Always push for authenticity and specificity

For fans:

• This episode typifies the spirit and chaos of live, unfiltered comedy—equal parts roast, revelation, and rapid-fire joke clinic.

Transcript

[Red Band]

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony here at Death Squad. Please check out me and Tony in Phoenix, Arizona, September 26th. It's a Thursday at Stand Up Live. You can go to standuplive.com or go to Deathsquad TV. This is our first time going to Phoenix as Death Squad and we'd love for you guys to come out so we can prove to this comedy show that we can bring Death Squad there all the time with a bunch of new comics. Also, the following day, Friday, September 27th, me and Tony are flying to Ohio and we'll be doing a show at the Woodlands Tavern. And that's going to be with Tom Segura and Christina Pajicki of your mom's house. So it's going to be a huge super show of four comics. It's going to be awesome. You can go to Deathsquad TV for all the ticket links, including this Kill Tony, which is every Monday at 8pm at the Comedy Store. It's free. And it's followed by the Ding Dong show, which is also free at 10pm Also check out the ShopSquad TV website. That's where Death Squad sells our kitty cat T shirt. It's limited edition. Again, that's shopsquad.com TV. And now, here's a brand new episode, Kill Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from the Comedy Store. How you guys doing tonight? This is a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

[Kill Tony Host]

Give it up for Tony Hench. Cliff. Boom Boom. Here we are. Welcome, everybody. How are you? It's a big. Another big packed crowd tonight. Josh Martin's here. How are you, buddy?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Great. I'm doing good. We were just talking before, like, like what happened this week and we really can't recall this week.

[Kill Tony Host]

A very normal weekend. Yeah, you know, we just did a bunch of spots podcasted. You know, we just did what we do, normal stuff. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Drank too much. Cried at the comedy. I guess I cried at the comedy. I had one of those. One of those nights where I don't. I did a podcast called Dysentery and it's pretty much where we just get really, really wasted throughout the podcast, me and a couple girls like, like, I'm talking like a whole bottle of tequila, a couple of beers, shots of. It's just a horrible mess. And somehow I ended up here and I guess I was crying. I keep on getting. People are coming up to me telling these stories that of shit I said. I guess I was going. I was going up to girls that I know that I. That I would never do this with, and just, like, whispering in their ears, going, let's go to San Francisco and fuck.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's the craziest pickup line I've ever heard.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why San Francisco?

[Kill Tony Host]

I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It makes no sense at all. I don't understand.

[Kill Tony Host]

It's really weird. What does that mean? Like, what is maybe. Is that like, some kind of term? Like, hey, baby, let's go to San Francisco?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know what that means. It seems. That makes no sense at all.

[Kill Tony Host]

Seems like some kind of dirty sexual maneuver.

[Kevin Christie]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I just wonder if I, like, made a joke up earlier and I thought everyone heard it and I forgot, and that's why I was saying that.

[Kill Tony Host]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That makes no sense, but I'm so embarrassed. That's one of those nights that you like, shit, I'm. I'm not going to drink tomorrow. And then you.

[Kill Tony Host]

One of those nights where you do that and you, the next day are like, what the fuck?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Yeah, it sucks.

[Kill Tony Host]

I've never had people come up to me and tell me that I was crying to them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I cry a lot, man. I have this thing where get really wasted. I just start crying. And it's not like I'm crying.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, I'm like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My eyes just start crying.

[Kill Tony Host]

Really?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. It's like the alcohol is like, hey, you need to pee? I'm just gonna come out of your eyes because they're too drunk to realize that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah. That. That doesn't happen to me. I'll, like, talk shit and, like, be crazy when I'm drunk. But the crying thing, I saved that for just, like. I just keep it all pent up, and then I let it turn into anger. Isn't that fun?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you cry ever? Like, like, once, once a year.

[Kill Tony Host]

I really don't. You want to know what? I almost cried last night at the new episode of Breaking Bad because that show is unfucking believable. And it just came back last night. How many people saw that episode of television? How the fuck is this? How the fuck are they doing that? That's unbelievable. For those of you that haven't seen that show. I know, it must be annoying. People must tell you, hey, go see that show. Unfucking believable. Like, if you can't get into this, I don't want to be your friend anyway. That's fine if you don't see it, but it's really good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I watched the first episode and it stressed me out. And I was like, I can't have this stress in my life.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's when it's good, Drama. What do you mean you can't? That's crying.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's stressful.

[Kill Tony Host]

You can't have that stress in your life. You're at a nightclub crying to your friends.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you think I need more stress? Do you think that's a good. Like, hey, let's add Breaking Bad stress to that.

[Kill Tony Host]

It might help. You might be like, you know what? My life's not that bad after all. I don't have stage four lung cancer, are in fucking a meth business that's trying to kill me. That shows. Fucking unbelievable. But with all these expectations, they come out with a new episode and, I mean, expectations are sky high and. Right. I mean, only these four guys obviously have enough money to have cable, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So do you think it's going to end, though, with, like, the Lost episode where, like, what, they're all dreaming?

[Kill Tony Host]

Absolutely not. You know why? Because Vince Gilligan's too badass for that. J.J. abrams did that. I have respect for him. But, you know, there's also other forces that bait powers that be.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But how many series ever ends and you're like, wow, that was awesome. Like, oh, that. What they did at Seinfeld. We were all quiet in jail. That was. That was amazing.

[Kill Tony Host]

That was a bad one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Or Lost.

[Kill Tony Host]

Sopranos is an interesting one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Even though it's like, come on, we need to know what happened.

[Kill Tony Host]

But. But they. But they tell you what happened. It's. It's sort of a. It's sort of. It's wrong what they did in the way that they made it so that, like, only people that are really fucking paying attention can see what happens there. But I watched a whole thing on it. It's really interesting. And the way that it works is, is there's. How many people here have seen the last episode of Sopranos? Okay, that's a good enough amount to talk about it. But he's sitting in the booth and he's looking at the door and you see who. You're looking at him. The door thing rings and he looks at who's in the door and the camera goes from where he's sitting. Right?

[Kevin Christie]

Right.

[Kill Tony Host]

This is a thing that happens over and over again. More people keep coming in. And then you go from his vision. And the thing is, is that on that last one, you watch the guy go. Everything hints that that guy that went in the bathroom that's coming back out is gonna kill him. And that's on purpose. Too. That's not to trick you. That's to let you know what the fuck's happening in the scene. There's a reason. Everything else has a reason. So that would too. And then on the final one, when Meadow's coming in late or something like that, he looks up again and that's when it goes blank. But it's. It would be from his angle. And at that point, that guy's coming out, so you know that he got shot in the head.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh. Or they were gonna wait five more years, make a soprano movie. And the guy behind him misses and shoots the daughter in the shoulder.

[Kill Tony Host]

There's nobody had Gandolfini living for five years. Nobody. And if you. If you did, if you thought he was gonna survive that long, you obviously don't have any Italian friends with an Italian family that's just eating cheese and drinking milk, because that's what they do. And pasta, I mean, all the. The tomato sauce is the healthiest thing Italians eat. And that's not even really. That's got shit in it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's crazy, you know? So if you guys have seen the show before, we have this gentleman over

[Kill Tony Host]

here, of course, our head of security, Chief of insecurity.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Iron Patriot.

[Kill Tony Host]

The iron Patriot. Everybody is here. Once again, one of my favorite. All right, we're really excited tonight. Okay. You're really firing them off there, huh?

[Iron Patriot]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

In the past, he's done some weird little music numbers that have surprised us all. And he sent me one over this week and I put it on my iPad. Didn't listen to it until today just to double check to make sure it was working. And he's gonna do this song.

[Kill Tony Host]

I've heard that he was sending in a song. I heard last week he was gonna do it. I got excited. He brought a banana here for some reason last week. I'm like, what's the banana for? It's for a music thing I almost did, but it didn't work out. And you asked me earlier, do you know what this song is? Have you listened to it? And I purposefully haven't wanted to listen to it because I wanted to be surprised at what he was gonna do with this banana here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, let's.

[Kevin Christie]

Let's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I heard it, and I can't even imagine what's going to go on right now because this makes no sense to me. So let's go. Here's the iron patriot with his banana.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

So.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Now c as a monkey, let's bring it out of my little jungle. His name is Jacob. One day he Found him a lady she was climbing on a tree she was bloody dry. Like a child in love with a

[Kevin Christie]

candy

[Unknown Comedian 2]

she makes me, Jacob, feel fresh like a bib the brandy she wants to share his bananas he wants to share it all with her the Bella teeter Don't know just what to do she don't know just what to do get crazy with your banana Monkey see, monkey do I want to share my

[Kill Tony Host]

banana with you Monkey see, monkey do

[Unknown Comedian 2]

I can see, monkey I want to share my banana with you I want to share share my banana Share it all with you I want to share my banana make this love go to I want to share my banana Share it all with you I want to share my banana. They look so happy how to crouch in the tree and the jellicoe they got the rhythm and they know Just wants to he wants to share his v He wants to share it all with her.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Thank you, guys.

[Iron Patriot]

Thank you.

[Kill Tony Host]

Wow.

[Iron Patriot]

Let me tell you something about that song, Tony. That was a hit in Dallas, Texas, in 1992. I was in a band called Dirty Crabber. That's a classic song. It was in the grunge era. The whole world wasn't ready for the banana, but now they are ready for the banana. I was so happy to do that song tonight, Tony. Thank you so much.

[Kill Tony Host]

Okay.

[Iron Patriot]

It's the story about two monkeys in the jungle named Jacob and Latidra. Latidra was playing hard to get, and Jacob said, get crazy with that banana.

[Kill Tony Host]

Holy, man.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

I feel like I died.

[Iron Patriot]

Banana. It's a mystical song. It can mean many things. Whatever you want.

[Kimberly Congdon]

Banana.

[Iron Patriot]

Or it can be the man's genitalia.

[Kill Tony Host]

Whatever you like, obviously. Yeah. We could take it however we like. All right, so you were in a band in Dallas in 1992. What was. What was the name of the band?

[Iron Patriot]

It was called Dirty Crabber. You can look on YouTube and if you.

[Kill Tony Host]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. And what. What instrument did you play?

[Iron Patriot]

I was the singer. I was the crabber.

[Kill Tony Host]

And that was your band's actual song?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes.

[Iron Patriot]

And now it didn't go big time, but I don't think it was the right time. I think now is the time.

[Kevin Christie]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here's a. Is Dirty Crabber, Mailman one of your songs?

[Iron Patriot]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, let's take a listen to Dirty Crabber, Mailman. I just found it here on YouTube.

[Kill Tony Host]

Sure. I know somebody that can sing along with this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Now.

[Kevin Christie]

Wait, is this.

[Kill Tony Host]

Wait, is that you in the. Is that you?

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

For those of you listening at home, Dirty Crabber, Mailman. You can find on YouTube. It's pretty unfucking believable. Oh, my God. You gotta be. Starts with a dog. Oh, my God, that's you.

[Iron Patriot]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, I see why you wear the patriot suit. You call this grunge?

[Iron Patriot]

No, I'm saying grunge was popular. That's why we had.

[Kevin Christie]

We were funny.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, that's so great.

[Iron Patriot]

Funny and happy.

[Kill Tony Host]

You were happy. You were happy. Rock and roll.

[Iron Patriot]

Yes.

[Kill Tony Host]

During the era that grunge was completely taking over when people were going dark, you're like, you know what? Let's just take over the happy market in Dallas right now.

[Iron Patriot]

It was a hard time for the rock star in the early 90s.

[Kill Tony Host]

Holy shit. How does mailman go?

[Kevin Christie]

Everything is so much better when I do it.

[Iron Patriot]

I'm working out in every river. I'm blowing like a kite.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

I'm loading up my mail truck.

[Iron Patriot]

That's how I do it. Right?

[Unknown Comedian 2]

I'm coming to your neighborhood I'm gonna get your high so high Rain sleet on snowman. Rain sleet.

[Kill Tony Host]

You mean to tell me you guys weren't huge in Dallas with your positive hit music? Oh, I love it, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Iron Patriot]

And I'm trying to get my career going again in music.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I think. I think that Mailman.

[Kill Tony Host]

I think. I think the Mailman song goes great with the banana in the hand. I think you. I think you should flip it and do the bananas. All right.

[Iron Patriot]

Okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

I love it. Patriot, you're always amazing. How's your week been? How's life?

[Iron Patriot]

You know, Remember I told you I was an extra on Parks and Recreation?

[Kill Tony Host]

Yes.

[Iron Patriot]

They started filming again this week. I was down there three days. And you know who I really like from that show is Rashida Jones. She's the daughter of Quincy Jones, who produced the biggest Michael Jackson albums, and Rashida Jones, when she was a little girl, she was bit by Bubbles the chimp, Michael Jackson's little monkey. She still has the scar in her hand.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, my God.

[Iron Patriot]

Very interesting.

[Kill Tony Host]

So the sight of your banana must really freak her out, huh?

[Iron Patriot]

Oh, yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Patriot, I love you. Have you talked to the mystic gods of the universe? Do you have any new catchphrases for us?

[Iron Patriot]

I have a confession to make, Tony. I've been getting my weed from someone else now.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, why is that?

[Ryan Moreno]

Aquamania.

[Iron Patriot]

I knew I had to stop mooching off you. At first when you gave me that weed, I thought, I'll just smoke it a couple days. But you showed me the way, and now I'm a full time stoner.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Iron Patriot]

Wow.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Nice.

[Iron Patriot]

There you go, that I'm buying Purple Haze from on a regular basis. Wow. And the thoughts are coming quicker and quicker each day. You know how when you dream at night, everything seems real? All the things are people. But then you wake up and realize it was all a dream. Do you realize, Tony, you are dreaming that you're doing the show? Kill Tony right now.

[Kill Tony Host]

Do you need somebody to take that banana out of your hand? Josh has it. Oh, my God. All right. Or you could just throw it wherever you want.

[Iron Patriot]

I hope that didn't hurt anybody, because one time I got hit in the face in Dallas. I would throw the bananas after the crowd. They would all play with them, and then sometimes they'd throw them and hit me. There's a video on YouTube you could see a banana hit me in the face.

[Kill Tony Host]

He's the only rock star that they throw the stuff back at him. That's so great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I like how they play with it. First, I would like to see a bunch of grown men in Houston, Texas, playing with a banana.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, my God.

[Iron Patriot]

Tony, is your thing shaped like a banana or an egg roll?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Iron Patriot]

You're junk.

[Kill Tony Host]

What the fuck? Oh, my God. Brian told me over this, like, last weekend. He said that he noticed that I do this thing from listening to the podcast. Right? I. I that. I didn't know that I do. He said that I go, whoa, what the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you just do something.

[Kill Tony Host]

I noticed. I just did it right then. That's like the first. Whoa. What the fuck?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that's interesting. I can't wait to dive more deeper into your music videos, because there seems like there's a few on YouTube.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, yeah. Just when you couldn't get any more interesting, you tell us you were in a unsuccessful rock and roll band in 1992 in Dallas, Texas.

[Iron Patriot]

Because I was doing covers of other. But it took me a while to get the courage to do my songs.

[Kill Tony Host]

I think it all makes sense. Yeah, Patriot, it's good to have you again. One more time for the Patriot. He's gonna be with us all night, making sure that we're all saf. Even though he cannot move in that suit whatsoever. It's a $4,000 suit with just looks. He cannot even. He has no idea where the microphone is. At any point, he knocks that over. I saw you almost tripped during the Banana song. I saw that. Right?

[Iron Patriot]

I was trying to do some dance moves for the crowd.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, you're restricted there on your left by a stage. I know. You can't see anything either. This is all real, everybody. The Patriots showed Up before the second episode. And he's been with us every episode since. A full time member of the Kill Tony team.

[Iron Patriot]

Yes. I appreciate it, Tony. You're really giving me my big break.

[Kill Tony Host]

Some guy in the bathroom started an applause break for you just then.

[Josh Martin]

Yes.

[Kill Tony Host]

I'm very excited about tonight's show. We are very lucky to have an amazing. As always, always fun special guest. This one. TV commercials. Awesome comedian, great friend of mine. Put your hands together for the very talented Kevin Christie. Everybody here. Fuck yeah, baby.

[Kevin Christie]

Hi.

[Kill Tony Host]

The man, the myth and the legend.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like I'm only one of those things, but okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

A legend.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm just a man. Just a simple. And after you see a song like that, you feel more simple. You know what I mean? You realize you haven't done enough. You haven't done enough of your life. You haven't produced enough art.

[Iron Patriot]

I was looking at your art on your website today.

[Kevin Christie]

Were you?

[Iron Patriot]

And one drawing that took my attention was Adolf Hitler slipping on a banana peel.

[Kevin Christie]

That's absolutely true. I drew a picture of Adolf Hitler slipping on a banana peel. And I feel like now you and I are sort of connected.

[Iron Patriot]

Yes, we are.

[Kevin Christie]

And I don't like it. I'll be honest with you. I'm going to find that drawing and burn it. I'll be honest. No, I mean, a lot of questions about your band. Ask them and Texas in general. Did anyone ever raise the question that this is the most racist song in the world at any point?

[Iron Patriot]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Christie]

Well, okay. What was the name the two monkeys you have?

[Iron Patriot]

Jacob. Jacob and Latidra. Le.

[Kevin Christie]

What?

[Iron Patriot]

Latidra.

[Kevin Christie]

Latidra is where it gets real racist.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Jacob is a biblical name. You know what I mean? Latidra is where it goes a little. It goes a little. Texas. I'll be honest with you. It gets a little. Did anyone raise that ever? No. Nothing?

[Iron Patriot]

No. I mean, it has kind of a Jungle Fever theme, but also a race.

[Kevin Christie]

A very racist term. Another extremely racist term that we most people stopped using in the early 90s.

[Kill Tony Host]

Sometimes with the Patriot, the silence is the most golden thing.

[Kevin Christie]

Very telling.

[Iron Patriot]

All I know is I went to the grocery store every time I got bananas and I went to the show and the people at the club started saying, don't bring the bananas anymore because they're getting in the speakers. They're getting over everything. Then I just said, that's my stick. I gotta keep bringing them. And I'd say, I'm not gonna do it. And then I'd do it anyway.

[Kill Tony Host]

How many bananas Would you bring a whole big bag?

[Iron Patriot]

So there was a crab, a bushel like this. I'd throw the whole banana out. Everybody had a great time.

[Kevin Christie]

Everybody had a great time. Who hates potassium? I mean, no one has a problem with that shit. It's extremely. I don't know if it's sexy to you. It is, but I feel like that's a stretch. That seems personal.

[Kill Tony Host]

Patriot, if you had to guess what the percentage of bananas thrown back at you would be. What percentage?

[Kevin Christie]

That's a really good question.

[Iron Patriot]

Not that many. I mean, just maybe two or three. Most people just hold them in their hands and swirl them around like this. You can see in the video, you know, you can see what people do with it.

[Kevin Christie]

Right, right, right. Can't wait to whip them around.

[Iron Patriot]

It's a very mystical fruit.

[Kevin Christie]

So it was like Arsenio show, but everyone had a banana.

[Iron Patriot]

Yeah, yeah. Very good analogy right there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

But they made chimp noises again. The most racist visual I could ever think of is people making chip. White people. I imagine your shows were only white people making chip sounds and whipping bananas around.

[Kill Tony Host]

Is that what was happening?

[Iron Patriot]

Yes.

[Kevin Christie]

So it was like, with that. That's terrifying. I'll be honest.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's.

[Kevin Christie]

That feels terrifying.

[Kill Tony Host]

Did you ever know. When you were writing this song, being, you know, being in Texas, did you know a black woman named Lakidra?

[Iron Patriot]

No, but when I.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's what. That's what you imagine.

[Kevin Christie]

When you worked at Sears, you met a woman with that.

[Iron Patriot]

I had a black girlfriend at Sears.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sears.

[Kevin Christie]

Wait a minute.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So we've just.

[Kevin Christie]

So it's sort of a love song.

[Iron Patriot]

I worked in the paint department at Sears.

[Kevin Christie]

You worked at the paint department. That's a respectable paint department.

[Iron Patriot]

You need some weather beater I mix it up for.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, that's a. Respect. A lot of people. I bought painted Sears. Yes, it's very good. So you had. How long did you guys date?

[Iron Patriot]

She liked me more than I liked her, but it kind of got me in that Jungle Fever mood.

[Kill Tony Host]

Okay.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like that's a thing you should stop saying.

[Iron Patriot]

Name was Deborah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Did she ever hear your baby song

[Kevin Christie]

say you liked her? I don't know if it has to involve a jungle. I feel like you liked her outside of a jungle. So you didn't have. I mean, Dallas is in the jungle. You liked her in Dallas. You had Dallas fever. I feel like that's a better thing to say, maybe, about you being attracted to her. She liked you.

[Iron Patriot]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

She didn't have jungle fever. She just liked a white Guy.

[Iron Patriot]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Why is it only jungle fever for white person likes a black person. What is it called when a black person likes a white person? Just disappointing suburban fever. You see that? Just like a settling kind of compromise.

[Iron Patriot]

Remember, Ari Shafir said it was bestiality.

[Kevin Christie]

That's. That's another. Again, you're gonna hang your hat on statements. Let's try to make them less. Okay. Look, it's your journey. I don't want to tell you how to see.

[Iron Patriot]

People don't know if I'm black or white.

[Kevin Christie]

So we saw the video, like, 45 seconds ago where you're one of the whitest guys ever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like Geraldo.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. You're extremely white. You look like a lead singer, a Foreigner or REO Speedwagon. It's that type of a. Who are your influences musically, do you think? Rico?

[Iron Patriot]

Suave?

[Kevin Christie]

Gerardo? Yeah, I don't. The first laugh Gerardo's gotten in a really good. You what?

[Iron Patriot]

The Rolling Stones, Muddy Waters.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Iron Patriot]

And I like a lot of the 80s bands. I like B52s. I like Duran Duran.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay. Okay. I can see the B52s influence in your music.

[Iron Patriot]

Yes, yes.

[Kevin Christie]

Or hear it, namely. Yeah. Upbeat.

[Iron Patriot]

Yeah. I like everything. I mean, Tony, what did you do in Don's band? Did you play music?

[Kill Tony Host]

Yes, I played a guitar in Don's band.

[Iron Patriot]

Okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

You can play guitar and drums.

[Iron Patriot]

Really?

[Kill Tony Host]

This is air guitar, bass guitar.

[Kevin Christie]

It's all air, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Iron Patriot]

I'd love to see you play, by

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the way, the National Championship of Air Guitars Across.

[Kevin Christie]

Always a fun thing to see.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Do yourselves a favor.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you win, like a. An imaginary check and an imaginary new guitar.

[Kevin Christie]

You win an air trophy and air shame, right?

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, you want to start this party?

[Kill Tony Host]

Of course, as always, here, what we do is we have a ton of comedians, and we're lucky enough for them to grace us with their presence for 60 seconds at a time. And then me and, as always, the panel here, we talk to them. They go from comedian to guest in no time at all. That's the sound of 60 seconds. And if you run that 60 seconds, that's the 60 seconds. But if you run that for a bit, you bring out the very angry West Hollywood bear.

[Kevin Christie]

And then you can see the chest hair.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Bobby Lee says if you get to the West Hollywood bear, you get banned for a few months.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Is that his rule or your rule?

[Kill Tony Host]

Bobby Lee's rule. Okay, well, if anybody quotes Bobby Lee's rule, then you'd be banned for a few months. Yeah. And who knows how long a few months could be. Could be thousands of months.

[Kevin Christie]

It could be literally thousands of months. Yeah. Metric system.

[Kill Tony Host]

All right, so you guys ready to get this thing started? Wait. Oh, you have one more thing.

[Kevin Christie]

Your third co host wants to make

[Iron Patriot]

a point, but didn't Bobby Lee give you your start in comedy?

[Kevin Christie]

He absolutely did. He absolutely did.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, that's awesome. How'd you know that, Patriot?

[Iron Patriot]

I was listening to a podcast today.

[Kill Tony Host]

Wow, Patriots.

[Kevin Christie]

Bobby Lee got me started here at the Comedy Store.

[Kill Tony Host]

Business does his research every day.

[Iron Patriot]

I'm thinking all week about what I want to do. It's the only show I do. I love this show.

[Kill Tony Host]

One more time for the iron guys, everybody. How do you not applaud a guy who loves what he does?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Love it.

[Kill Tony Host]

We love having you, Patriots. I told somebody earlier, I go, where's the. Because your bus was a little bit late. They go. They go, are you gonna start without the paycheck? I go, I would never fucking start without the paycheck.

[Kevin Christie]

How dare you?

[Kill Tony Host]

How dare you speak. How dare you sin to me?

[Kevin Christie]

How do you fit that much heart into that suit?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Unless. Unless it was 8:30.

[Kevin Christie]

So much heart.

[Kill Tony Host]

A lot of bananas.

[Kevin Christie]

That's a lot of bananas.

[Kill Tony Host]

Fuck, yeah. Well, here we go. I'm gonna start pulling a name out of a bucket, and then that person's gonna come on stage and perform for 60 seconds. Sometimes we tag your joke, make them goofier. Sometimes we make them smarter. Sometimes we don't even tag a joke. We just ask you questions and come up with something funnier about you than even you.

[Kevin Christie]

That's a long way to describe ridicule.

[Kill Tony Host]

This guy was up, I do believe, last week. He's back again. Put your hands together for Brian Moreno, everybody. Here we go. Brian Moreno. Let him hear it. Boom, here he is.

[Kevin Christie]

Huh?

[Ryan Moreno]

What's happening, everyone? Yeah, I'm gonna use a little of my time to dedicate it to Iron man, because at first I was in awe at the song because he's so dedicated. Then I realized, you know, this is a guy dressed in an Iron man costume.

[Kevin Christie]

Of course he's dedicated.

[Ryan Moreno]

Yeah, that went over well. All right, I'm gonna keep on the theme of my brother. Last couple weeks, I talked about my older brother who's gay, and having an older brother who's extremely overt in his homosexuality. You get a lot of crazy questions, homophobic things from your friends. But the one thing I've realized is that the line where homosexuality actually starts is very gray. It's not clearly defined because I ask all my straight friends, it's like, if I give another guy a blowjob, just one. Like, don't like it. Don't think about it ever again, don't want anything to do with it, does that make me gay? And all my straight friends say the same thing. Of course, dude, if you give another man a blowjob, you're absolutely gay. Why? You want to suck it? But then I ask my gay friends the same question. If I give another guy a blowjob, just one. Don't like it. Don't think about it. Don't ever want to do it again.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Does it make me gay? Well.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, shit. He brought out the fucking bear, man. Be careful.

[Ryan Moreno]

I shouldn't have wasted my time on Iron Man.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, that's so true.

[Ryan Moreno]

I should have wasted my time on Iron Man.

[Iron Patriot]

I'm honored, though. I'm honored that you included patriots.

[Kill Tony Host]

No, he was dedicated.

[Ryan Moreno]

I got to give it up to him, you know?

[Kill Tony Host]

Well, it came across as like a. Sort of like an insult.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, it was coming across. Were you thinking of the word committed as, like, put in a mental hospital, as opposed to dedicated? Well, no, it's like, because it came across like a dig a little bit.

[Ryan Moreno]

Well, because you know how, like, when someone performs, it's like if they bail out on their performance.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He was.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

He was.

[Ryan Moreno]

Yeah, he was committed.

[Kevin Christie]

There's no way. Half step, a huge plastic suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's.

[Ryan Moreno]

I mean, because at first I was in awe, and then I'm like, this guy drives, you know, rides the bus here in an Iron man costume. Of course, you know, he's dead.

[Josh Martin]

Okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

He can only take the bus. He doesn't. Because he can't sit down in the. I'm not kidding. He cannot sit down.

[Kevin Christie]

How'd you guys get here? Sitting down.

[Kill Tony Host]

I guess I have to mention. I feel like I will mention that at the top of every episode.

[Ryan Moreno]

I apologize I didn't bring the heat today.

[Kill Tony Host]

Well, you know. Well, you know, it's not about the heat sometimes it's about. You know, there's always in. Sometimes before you're about to go on. Sometimes before I'm about to go on. There's these little things that you're listening to in a room and everything, and you try to come up with an idea.

[Scott Kidd]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Of something. And there's this measurement system.

[Kevin Christie]

How good is this?

[Kill Tony Host]

Right. And you try to measure that out, but no matter what, in the end, you got to get your point across in some way. So, like, I guess my note would be that if Your intention was to, like, give the patriot a compliment? Because it was way. It was directly in between compliment and insult. It was like, right in the middle.

[Kevin Christie]

I thought you were gonna shit on him, and then you didn't. And I was like, or are you gonna. I thought maybe you're gonna take a dig at yourself. Like, this guy puts on a huge plastic suit. I can't even. Whatever, Whatever, whatever.

[Ryan Moreno]

I didn't exactly think it through as much as they should have. Concerned, I went.

[Kevin Christie]

But I will say this. It's important to be present in the room. I think a lot of comics make that mistake where something weird happens on stage and they're next and they just go up like, hey, how's it going? So my parents. It's like, did you not see the fucking weird thing that just happened?

[Kill Tony Host]

Right?

[Kevin Christie]

And it makes you, to me, look like it makes you look crazy and.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yes, exactly. Because I think instead of moving forward when it doesn't go over. You know what I mean? Like, if it was supposed to get a laugh or it was supposed to get an applause, it didn't get either. So at least you could have gotten the applause by saying, I don't think that came out right. Nothing but love. You know what I mean? Like, calling out at least what happens before going into a bit.

[Kevin Christie]

It's about acknowledging the situation you're in to a certain degree, because you're in a room full of live people. They're not watching you on TV especially. The great thing about the Comedy Store is the open mic is so bizarre. So you're always going after, you know, 30% of the time, a total catastrophe. And if you don't, like, mention it, it's like, did you not see it? Can you not tell that's a total catastrophe? Like, you need. I feel like it's important to be present.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

But make sure what you're gonna say

[Kill Tony Host]

is probably gonna work, because what you're already doing by. By bringing up what just happened is you are being present. So by when, if you don't have a direct ending at the end of you being present and you're about to be unpresent and go into material, you have to segue into that in some way.

[Ryan Moreno]

And I think you're. And I give you a lot of credit because you're extremely sharp when it comes to creating a thought and being able to verbalize it within a short amount of time, you're. That's one of your staples. And I think.

[Kill Tony Host]

But another thing. I mean, feedback on when that doesn't work.

[Ryan Moreno]

Is not necessarily humor because it's not always funny. Sometimes it's spiteful.

[Kevin Christie]

But I mean, like, word efficiency is very important. And I like, I don't know what the ending of your gay brother joke is. Sure very curious. But I found myself. You're going a long ways to get to it.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally.

[Ryan Moreno]

Yeah. It was a 60 second.

[Kill Tony Host]

I have a gay brother. A lot of people ask me questions

[Kevin Christie]

a little too much pitter patter.

[Ryan Moreno]

There's a little too much.

[Kevin Christie]

Well, at Seinfeld always says, like tags only. Like, you can literally boil down a joke to just tag, tag, tag, tag, tag. You can. I feel like there's just a more. There's always more on a more efficient way to explain everything to the point where you have a joke where you literally can't take any words out anymore because the joke won't make sense, but you don't need any more.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally.

[Ryan Moreno]

And I had a 62nd last week that I think was the epitome of that. I hit three points. But this week I tried to just

[Kill Tony Host]

extrapolate on it and I remember, you know, one of the notes from that was get more into that gay brother thing. But what I. What I want to say before we.

[Kevin Christie]

Can I hear the punchline?

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, go for it. What is it?

[Kevin Christie]

What is how far away? How far away?

[Ryan Moreno]

No, no. I asked my gay friends, you know, the same question.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Ryan Moreno]

And they're like, oh, my God, no. But Ryan, gay is who you are as part of your sister essence, part of your being. Why, honey, you want to try?

[Kevin Christie]

So basically, do you want.

[Ryan Moreno]

Same exact thing as the straight?

[Kill Tony Host]

You gotta really trim up the front end. Yeah. The first 17 seconds you can trim out.

[Scott Kidd]

It was a lot of.

[Kevin Christie]

It was a lot of fun.

[Kill Tony Host]

A lot of people. I have a gay brother. A lot of people ask me questions and I've realized myself there is no gray line or whatever it is that you say that. That can be four seconds and right now it's 17.

[Kevin Christie]

Do you make it in the joke? In the joke. Have you sucked one dick and that's why you're curious?

[Ryan Moreno]

Well, the first time. The first time I ever performed that someone asked me in the audience, they're

[Kevin Christie]

like, did you try?

[Tommy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ryan Moreno]

And you know.

[Kevin Christie]

Which, by the way, one you're not. By the way, if anyone's here is curious and wants to or thinking about it on the fence, it's. I feel like you got to get into the teens before you're really, like, officially a gay dude. There's so many different kinds of dicks

[Ryan Moreno]

all Dudes just want a blowjob. All dudes just want a blowjob.

[Kevin Christie]

Just doing a friend a favor a lot of the time. You don't want him to go out and make a mistake with someone he doesn't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I know.

[Ryan Moreno]

Thank you, guys.

[Kill Tony Host]

Ryan Moreno. There he goes @BrianMarano21 on Twitter. That's Ryan Moreno, 21. Oh, your next comedian always gets lucky. He's also a producer on the show.

[Kevin Christie]

Big fan.

[Kill Tony Host]

Put your hands together for Josh Martin, employee at the Comedy Store. Rising. Young, young. You got it.

[Josh Martin]

Yeah. Hey, guys. I feel like I. My body's kind of. I. I have a weird body. I realize I have a very weird body. Feel like it's with me, though. Like, I'm only 28, which is not old, but I feel like I'm old and young at the same time, and that's how my body's with me. For example, I'm getting white hairs on my chest, which really sucks. It's pretty bad to get white hairs on your chest, but I just grew chest hair a year ago.

[Iron Patriot]

That's even worse.

[Josh Martin]

That's really bad. That's all I wanted to do.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay, okay. I mean, look, we say chest for

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

me a couple more times.

[Kevin Christie]

Like this guy.

[Josh Martin]

Chest, chest, chest, chest, chest, chest, chest, chest, chest.

[Kevin Christie]

Borderline Southern.

[Josh Martin]

Yeah. I'm from the South.

[Kevin Christie]

That's why, to be fair, it's not just about you from coming, being from the South.

[Kill Tony Host]

It's a combination of Louisiana and speech impediment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Or Cartman when he goes, yeah, kiss my papa.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

There is something very cartoony about you. Can you say you're a real buffet of bad speech without trying to sound like Cartman at all? Can you just say, you, Kenny?

[Josh Martin]

You, Kenny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I like how it goes up.

[Kevin Christie]

It's like kind of a quiet moment from Cartman but pretty authentic.

[Josh Martin]

You Kenny again.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's more natural.

[Josh Martin]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Josh Martin]

I was trying to speak normal.

[Kill Tony Host]

Did you really?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you really getting gray hair on your channel?

[Josh Martin]

I'm like, I'm plucking them out.

[Kill Tony Host]

Ow. What?

[Josh Martin]

I'm plugging a couple random white ones that I keep plucking them out because I refused to go gray.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's weird, man. I have so much chest hair, but I got gray up here.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like it's odd that it shows up first at the chest. Usually it's like, here, here, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I have it here, but I don't have it here or down there.

[Josh Martin]

I got a few in my beard and my chest.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

Science says that. Son of a People with. People with speech impediments get gray hairs on their chest first.

[Kevin Christie]

Right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah, that's from all a spit.

[Kevin Christie]

We all saw that show in Discovery.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, I read that last week in Speech Impediment Weekly.

[Kevin Christie]

Anyway, I think that's. I like conceptually, I like the. That your body is a fucking with you and you have young, old and yourself at the same time. I think you're gonna tag.

[Iron Patriot]

This is.

[Kevin Christie]

You need like a bunch more tags.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally.

[Kevin Christie]

I think it's a pretty. A pretty fruitful concept or premise and I think you could go with it. I like the idea that as soon as your chest hair becomes old enough to know better, it's killing itself. Like on your body. Like, oh, this body fucking sucks. Like as soon as it gains the experience, like it seems like your body parts, as soon as they realize who they live on are like we're out. Like they're trying to die as soon as possible.

[Josh Martin]

Right now I. I've been trying to connect that to another joke that I just don't have enough time to do about. I'm trying to be a man.

[Kevin Christie]

Right. That's interesting that you have man chest hair but no actual skills.

[Kill Tony Host]

Have you been looking on other places of your body now that you've had that white hair?

[Josh Martin]

I've been getting white hairs on my balls and.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh man, my balls are getting. That is a bummer. This feels like stress, dude. This does not feel like age. You're not old enough for this to be happening.

[Kill Tony Host]

It's definitely stress.

[Kevin Christie]

I mean, if you.

[Josh Martin]

It's just like one or two, it's

[Kevin Christie]

like you're Steve Martin, but only from the neck down. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, like this shouldn't be happening yet. Like, are you stressed out?

[Josh Martin]

I guess life is getting better.

[Kevin Christie]

But life's getting better. Okay, good.

[Josh Martin]

Getting better.

[Kevin Christie]

You get high a lot? No, get high more. And I don't even fucking do drugs. But seriously, dude, this is. This seems it's really showing up in the wrong place.

[Kill Tony Host]

You have the body of a 70 year old, the head of a 15 year old, and the T shirt of a 4 year old girl for you. Yeah. Chase, there he goes. Josh Martin.

[Kevin Christie]

Josh Martin.

[Iron Patriot]

Tony.

[Kevin Christie]

Tony, get a physical.

[Iron Patriot]

Are you happy that he stopped talking, talking about dick pills?

[Kill Tony Host]

Yes, definitely. He kept saying dick peels.

[Kevin Christie]

We're happy when anyone stops talking about dick pills.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Chase, chase, Chase.

[Kill Tony Host]

One more time for Josh Martin, everybody. I'm pick another name out now. And that name is Cheist. Brad Sacks.

[Kevin Christie]

Brad Sacks.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let him hear it.

[Kill Tony Host]

There he is, live in the flesh. Oh, hey, that's oshmartincomic, by the way on Twitter, if you want to tag his white hair joke. Brad Sacks.

[Scott Kidd]

Thank you, thank you. I recently got a haircut and I did something cool. I donated the clippings to a cancer foundation called Locks of Love. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah, so right now, There's a dying 7 year old with pubic hair for the first time. Thank you. The best part was the smile on his face as I was gluing it on, which was wonderful. Thank you, thank you. I got him a wig, too, because it would have been weird. And I told him, enjoy that wig. Just don't let anyone clip it for a drug test because you'll fail it. That's an oxycontin joke, guys. Thank you. Thank you. That's all I got.

[Kill Tony Host]

You're gonna be huge. You're going to be a big star.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like you switch the. Switch the. I think you should switch the wig and the. And the glue thing.

[Scott Kidd]

Okay.

[Kevin Christie]

Because the glue thing's stronger than the wig thing. Yeah, yeah. I think you switch those.

[Scott Kidd]

Wait, switch, wait, what do you mean?

[Kevin Christie]

Put the gluing it on him at the end or whatever.

[Scott Kidd]

Okay.

[Kevin Christie]

And put the wig thing earlier.

[Scott Kidd]

Like, in the middle.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, in the middle.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

Okay.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. But I like that your instinct to stand there and say thank you during an awkward moment is absolutely correct somewhere.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jay London's like, doing like a. Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Like you did, buddy. No, that's the right thing. Because you're going. Anytime you do a dying child joke, you guys, you're gonna get some moans and some people going. So you gotta stand there like a fucking adult and be like, thanks.

[Kill Tony Host]

Is that a thing that you're working on, that. Thank you. Is that part of your thing or did that just happen coincidentally tonight? Sometimes I do, because that I'm abs. I love how you use it because you're not like, abusing it.

[Kevin Christie]

No.

[Kill Tony Host]

And it's not too. Get her done.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

But it's cozy. And you're playing it done, though.

[Kevin Christie]

I mean, if we're being honest.

[Kill Tony Host]

I loved thank you. Everything. Yeah, I love.

[Scott Kidd]

Thank you guys.

[Kill Tony Host]

The only. The only thing I had a beef with was that you said. Said when you were getting real again, you said that was an OxyContin joke. Thank you. Instead of.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Kill Tony Host]

Thank you. Because that's all. That's all I was paying attention to by the end. You had me trained by the end to love that. Thank you.

[Kevin Christie]

It was Pavlovian.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally.

[Kevin Christie]

And no, no, no. Anything you can find that's a mechanism like that, like Jim Gaffigan's inside voice, like, they are invaluable.

[Kill Tony Host]

And the way that you're using it, just like that. I mean, that's your.

[Kevin Christie]

You're basically telling the crowd when to laugh. And they'll do it after a while.

[Ryan Moreno]

Right.

[Kevin Christie]

They'll know it's, oh, it's our turn. Like, that's. It's. Anything you can do like that is smart.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah. And no better time to have something like that than when you're going straight through the edge. I mean, a cancer joke and then you're with the cancer person. That's all. Thank you.

[Kevin Christie]

Got to take the edge.

[Kill Tony Host]

Like, you're totally expecting the place to just go crazy.

[Kevin Christie]

The notion, like, take your seats, take your seats.

[Scott Kidd]

The response usually is mixed. It depends.

[Kevin Christie]

You know, it's always going to be. It's.

[Kill Tony Host]

You're. I mean, unless it made me laugh hard and I think matters, honestly, because I'm selfish. Brad, I really, really like that. Keep. Keep working on that and don't overuse it.

[Kevin Christie]

But know now that you have that power.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Awesome.

[Kill Tony Host]

You pretty much just claim great power becomes great responsibility. You use it well. Yes.

[Kevin Christie]

Talk to the Patriot about how to use power.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Me and Tony both being from Ohio.

[Kevin Christie]

Do you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you have any Ohio material?

[Scott Kidd]

I don't. I don't. I'll start working on.

[Kevin Christie]

You have a Cleveland Brown.

[Scott Kidd]

Don't do that.

[Kill Tony Host]

Don't go back.

[Scott Kidd]

Don't do that.

[Kevin Christie]

Do you have a Cleveland tattoo?

[Scott Kidd]

No, I do not.

[Kill Tony Host]

You?

[Kevin Christie]

Well, I.

[Kill Tony Host]

Do you have a Cleveland Browns tattoo.

[Kevin Christie]

Don't worry about it.

[Kill Tony Host]

Just a fan.

[Kevin Christie]

Just a fan.

[Kill Tony Host]

You lost a bet.

[Kevin Christie]

No, I am a fan.

[Kill Tony Host]

Really?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep.

[Kevin Christie]

We don't have a football team here.

[Kill Tony Host]

I'm not even a fan of the Cleveland Browns. And I grew up 45 minutes away from.

[Kevin Christie]

I like herding.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, actually, I do, too. It's weird enough I became a Dolphins fan again.

[Kevin Christie]

Bad choice.

[Kill Tony Host]

Made no sense. Yeah, but that's another thing. When you're Italian and you were born around my age group, you were automatically a Dolphins fan. Cause Dan Marino was the only Italian player in football. One of the only things my dad ever actually forced me to do was become a Dan Marino fan.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Anyway, well, there you go. Brad Sax, guys. Rad Sachs on Twitter. That's Brad. S, A C, H, S on Twitter. Didn't really get to tag it. What was the thing again he was talking about? Oh, cancer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

A merkin. That's Called a merkin, by the way. When you have fake pubic hair, it's known as a merkin.

[Scott Kidd]

Yep.

[Kevin Christie]

So just. If you want to use. That's what it is. Just so you know, someone's gonna yell out merkin, you're gonna think it's a heckle, and it's not. They're just happy.

[Kill Tony Host]

Maybe a funny thing was. Don't worry, the glue wasn't permanent because neither's his life. Because. Because. Right.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, I'm the problem now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Kevin Christie]

So I'm just trying to help.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

My ex had to lose merkins. And the cat, it was its favorite toy.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's just so embarrassing when somebody comes over and the cat's playing with a fake pubic hair bush.

[Kevin Christie]

It just looks like hair triangle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

So many questions.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. It was blue, though.

[Kevin Christie]

Was it? Blue irises. God rest her soul.

[Kill Tony Host]

Put your hands together for your next comedian, the one and only Jared Campbell. Jared Qua.

[Kevin Christie]

Jared Campbell in here. Here he is facing third.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

What was that? Price is Right shit?

[Kevin Christie]

Jeopardy. Fuck it.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

Time's going.

[Scott Kidd]

No.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

A lot of people think black people are homophobic. It's wrong, not true. I seen Brokeback Mountain twice. Nah, honestly, my homeboy is kind of homophobic. I told him I seen the movie and he thought I was gay. He was like, niggas, you coming out the closet? Niggas, you gay? And I was like, no. First of all, the movie's nominated for Academy Awards, you dick. A lot of people watch. But as I got to explain it to him, I realized, like, if you take out the gayness of that movie, it's really just about a cheating cowboy. Happens all the time. But it got me thinking. What if you took your favorite shitty movies and you just added a gay beast story to them? Changed the Fast and the Furious to the Fast and the curious. Put a gay alien in Prometheus. Oscars. Put a transvestite in Juana Man. All right, that's my theory book. So

[Kill Tony Host]

I'd lose the Juana Man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Because Fast and Curious is a great play on words. You can't start with that and give us nothing afterwards.

[Kill Tony Host]

Right.

[Kevin Christie]

Or end with that.

[Kill Tony Host]

It's just too old of a reference. You got it with. With the. The first one.

[Kevin Christie]

You just said it was fast and curious. The Fast and Curious.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a great play field.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have a lot to play with.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And I also think there's something in the beginning about what's weirder. A black guy watching a gay movie or a cowboy film?

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Film.

[Kevin Christie]

Both. Odd or Atypical. I mean, there's only one. Blazing Saddles is the only one with like, you know, I mean, Django this year. It took till like this year to have like a cool western themed movie with a black star.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

They had the movie Posse. You ever seen the movie Posse? Silver Bullet.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

You've seen that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Of course. I used to like rap music growing up.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

What? Okay, I'm so.

[Kevin Christie]

To be fair, I'm not as up on my black cowboy cinema as I probably should be.

[Kill Tony Host]

What was it that also had a rap in it too? A black cow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, who was in it was like Will. Was it Will Smell?

[Kill Tony Host]

Will Smith?

[Kevin Christie]

There's no way Will Smith was in that movie.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was somebody, but I think the

[Kevin Christie]

soundtrack or something, for God's sakes, I can't remember. Uncle Phil wouldn't have allowed it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dude, I used to wear starter jackets in high school.

[Kevin Christie]

You have an eight ball jacket. Oh, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's. There's so much that you could play with that joke. Other movie titles would be like, even go into like. Yeah, maybe cartoons, like Disney movies even.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. I think your job with this joke is going to look at the history of film and try to really find. Because there's out there in the ether, there is like the perfect three or four films to use as Ted. But that's. You're gonna have to look at fucking movie after movie and find like there's, you know, that's thing. It's gonna take some time. But there are like three or four movies that make for. Will make for perfect references and you

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

can kind of go into it, not

[Kevin Christie]

necessarily even play on words. Just find the movies where the notion of a gay character would be the most ridiculous thing imaginable. It's. I mean, it's. You could find it or. Yeah, just look at gay porn titles.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You could pretty much go into any of those and then just like.

[Kevin Christie]

That's a good kind of like, like

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

give a little synopsis.

[Kevin Christie]

Also just looking at gay porn titles is a good time. Honestly, if you guys are at home and you just want to laugh. Please.

[Kill Tony Host]

What are we doing again? We're mixing. We're putting a gay character into straight movies.

[Kevin Christie]

Into straight movies. Yeah. Don't let them be shitty. They can be good. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

Okay. Put a gay twist in movies.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, putting a gay twist in movies. Guess that they weren't gay already.

[Kill Tony Host]

Maybe like Wiz. You could say wizard of Oz because it already sort of seems gay.

[Kevin Christie]

But boys on boys in the hood,

[Kill Tony Host]

you could say that Oz is Yeah, the wizard of Oz. Except it's the prison Oz, not the land of because they butt rape each other.

[Kevin Christie]

A few good men who suck each other's dicks. Boys on. Boys in the hood's better.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, there's some. Man, that's a fun joke.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like that's when you just sit around with your friends. Like get three of your comic friends and just get high or whatever and just record it and you'll come up with 30 and then pick the three best and then you're off to the race.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally.

[Kevin Christie]

See in Montreal, the Rear Enders. Or no, that's the Avengers, the Rear Enders, the Outsiders. Cuz we're gay and not accepted.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right, Pony boy?

[Kevin Christie]

Pony Boy, yeah. That just makes you think. Fucking, I'd love to see that cast make out. I mean, that was a good looking cast of dudes. The original Outsiders. You got young Swayze running around. You got a young Ralph Macchio. Tom Cruise is up in that. Emilio Estevez. You don't tell me you want to see a fuck fest with those guys. I'm not even gay. That's just beauty, you know what I mean? That's like watching bouquet of flowers roll over itself.

[Kill Tony Host]

Do you think you'd still mention Emilio Estevez's name with those other guys had the Mighty Ducks movies not been made?

[Kevin Christie]

I'm. No, I mean, I'm more a fan of him as a director. I enjoyed Bobby, so. You know, he's got a weird handlebar mustache now. What was one with the trash cans with him and Charlie Sheen? They were men at work.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh yeah, that one was always.

[Kevin Christie]

There's a men at work also fucking. I don't know. Men at work.

[Unknown Comedian 1]

Who?

[Kevin Christie]

Fuck, this isn't the plan.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, but it should be more movies that most people know. Yeah, like a lot of people don't

[Kill Tony Host]

have two men alone in a.

[Kevin Christie]

Or maybe the joke is like if it'd be so funny if you add the gay element to Top Gun. Wait, you don't have to. That's the gayest shit ever already. Watch the volleyball scene and jerk off.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Top Fun, actually, if no one's heard it. Google. Quentin Tarantino talks about Top Gun and it's one of the most amazing that he pretty much dissects Top Gun and

[Kevin Christie]

explains no matter where they are, every man's glistening with sweat. And then a wife beater, they could be like covered in ice and they're still glistening and beautiful.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The one main character starts dressing up like a guy halfway through the Movie.

[Kill Tony Host]

I really can't even get into that movie at all. I've never really liked really Top Gun. Everybody's always like. What do you mean you don't like Top Gun?

[Kevin Christie]

It's just that's one of those generational things. You're not old enough.

[Kill Tony Host]

You know, it might be a good one. 12 men alone and naked in the forest. Gump. There he goes, everybody. Jared Campbell. That's Jared Campbell. Q, U, A, Y. Somebody gave me a DVD earlier. That's interesting. We'll talk about that later. Put your hands together for Emily Rose.

[Kevin Christie]

Emily Rose.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let her hear it.

[Kill Tony Host]

Is that a real person?

[Kevin Christie]

That's also the name of a porn actor.

[Kill Tony Host]

Is there an Emily Rose here? Oh, snap. Somebody has terrible handwriting. Wait, who has the worst handwriting here? Does you. Does your last name begin with an R?

[Kevin Christie]

Are you a doctor? What's your excuse?

[Kill Tony Host]

What's your name?

[Kevin Christie]

But I like that you admitted it. Could be that up for those.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No.

[Kevin Christie]

Steve Davidson. But I don't even know, man. Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So that means she is a black woman.

[Kill Tony Host]

And when somebody gets blacklisted here, we say they get blacklisted and. Boom, boom, that's when the patriot makes a bunch of sounds and that person is blacklisted. And for this person, double blacklisted for having the worst handwriting I've ever seen.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like you forget the people you blacklist immediately.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And if you're hot, Emily, we could talk about it after the show.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, it's a different stat.

[Kevin Christie]

The fact that she's a girl means she's already sort of not blacklisted. Let's be honest.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Soft handed. You're in.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Your hair.

[Kill Tony Host]

Is there any Emily here? So you know who that is?

[Kevin Christie]

Didn't want to follow heat, apparently.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This person sounds truly outrageous.

[Kill Tony Host]

Put your hands together for Jem.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Hello.

[Scott Kidd]

My name is Jim. That's G E M. I like to travel. And anybody here lived abroad ever? I lived abroad in England. In London, England?

Yeah.

Yeah. I lived there for 48 months. The last 35 months was in prison. Yeah, yeah. They don't like it when you come over there and you buy a bunch of methylene dioxy methylamphetamine and. And then sell it to the Scottish guys. They're not a fan, you know. It was readily prevalent, though. Readily prevalent. But I had to call my father from prison and for some reason it went like this. Father, I'm having a spot of Father, I've been nicked. Father, I'm at Her Majesty's Pleasure Wandsworth. Father. And for some reason my dad responded with an English accent as well. And he just said, bloody hell. All right, my name is Jim. Thank you.

[Kill Tony Host]

Give it up.

[Kevin Christie]

Readily prevalent. Doesn't make sense. Yeah, because if something's prevalent, that means it's like. Or. I don't think you need both.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah. It's either readily available or it's prevalent.

[Scott Kidd]

Or it's prevalent.

[Kevin Christie]

I got you. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No wonder Emily left.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, come on. Burn. Facial disgracia. So the crux of this joke is the accents.

[Kill Tony Host]

It was really like 60 seconds of drama.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

And then you did an accent at the end, sort of.

[Kevin Christie]

You. You surmised a episode of Lock Up Abroad.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, kind of.

[Scott Kidd]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

And then in the end, you're all like, doopity doopity.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Scott Kidd]

That was pretty accurate impression of me. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the stupidy doity, Nick?

[Scott Kidd]

I'm Tripoli Said, you know, I do something about the prison, so, you know, that's what I came up with.

[Kevin Christie]

I mean, I guess there's something to me there. I guess there's something interesting about the notion of, are people in. In British prison more polite?

[Kill Tony Host]

Right.

[Kevin Christie]

Or is it that you think they're going to be polite and it's. It's just when they rape you, you get tea. I don't know.

[Kill Tony Host]

Right?

[Kevin Christie]

I mean, like, you do get tea.

[Scott Kidd]

They make sure you have tea.

[Kevin Christie]

You have tea every day. Is there a legit tea time?

[Scott Kidd]

They new water for tea every. Every night.

[Kevin Christie]

Wow.

[Scott Kidd]

Yeah, they do. And if you're mad at somebody, you fill it with sugar and then pour it on them, and then that scalds them dramatically.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So.

[Scott Kidd]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

Ever see that happen to somebody?

[Kevin Christie]

Were you surrounded by, like, soccer hooligans? Is. That was a lot of that.

[Scott Kidd]

There was a lot of foreign nationals, actually, in English.

[Kevin Christie]

A lot of.

[Scott Kidd]

A lot of Jamaicans Eastern. Yeah. All, you know, all drug stuff.

[Kevin Christie]

All drug stuff.

[Scott Kidd]

And then occasionally, like, somebody that had cuddled somebody's head or something.

[Kevin Christie]

Right, right. Like you do.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Kidd]

When you're upset. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A lot of them don't have teeth out there, so at least the blow jobs would be a little bit better.

[Kill Tony Host]

There you go.

[Scott Kidd]

You know, I never had sex in prison, so I. I don't.

[Kill Tony Host]

You know. Okay. I guess I believe that anyway.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm too good to get a toothless blow job.

[Kill Tony Host]

I guess we should just move on, because I believe everything you're saying right now.

[Kevin Christie]

You got to learn how to travel better, experience stuff. I didn't try the food or the blow jobs.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you.

[Scott Kidd]

My name is Jim.

[Ryan Moreno]

Thank you.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, come on, Jeff.

[Kevin Christie]

Don't walk away.

[Kill Tony Host]

Is that how you said you were done? You said you were gonna move on? I'm not offended at all.

[Scott Kidd]

Say whatever you want.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like you need to get to.

[Kill Tony Host]

I didn't say I'm moving on, first of all. Second of all, is that what you're gonna do if you ever get called the Carson's couch?

[Sara Mostajabi]

Huh?

[Kill Tony Host]

You know what, Johnny? I'm out of here. Absolutely not. I thought that you said that you were moving on to the next person.

[Scott Kidd]

That's why I didn't want to offend.

[Kill Tony Host]

You know, I want to do that Johnny Carson joke.

[Kevin Christie]

I want everyone to stop yelling. Please stop yelling. I'm not a person that enjoys yelling.

[Kill Tony Host]

Thank you, Kevin.

[Kevin Christie]

Pinches.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Get pinches.

[Kevin Christie]

If only prison were like that. That would be the best. Like, you told on her.

[Kill Tony Host]

I shouldn't have snitched.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like get. I feel like you don't just get to the fact that you're in prison and then get to the. Get to the thing with your dad and develop the dad stuff more.

[Scott Kidd]

So you didn't mind the voices. Then there's.

[Kill Tony Host]

I didn't mind them, but, I mean,

[Kevin Christie]

I would get better at them.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

There are British people. You guys are British, correct?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. That seemed very racist.

[Kevin Christie]

And those accents bothered you for sure.

[Scott Kidd]

I'm sure.

[Kevin Christie]

Right, right.

[Kill Tony Host]

They said.

[Kevin Christie]

I said it like Dick Van Dyke

[Scott Kidd]

when I was in. When I was. When I was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Ryan Moreno]

Mary Poppins. Exactly.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's what they said.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

So I would watch better British films. Okay. Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

I will get into some Downton Abbey.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, Downton Abbey's good.

[Scott Kidd]

I'm waiting on season two right now to come out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wallace and Grommet.

[Kevin Christie]

Wallace and Gromit's a perfect place to start. If you could somehow tie.

[Scott Kidd]

That makes me have flashbacks of prison, so. No, no Wallace.

[Kevin Christie]

If you could weave Wallace and Gromit into a joke about going to jail for drug dealing, that would be something. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Yeah.

[Scott Kidd]

Okay.

[Kevin Christie]

You know. Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

When you were in prison, were you a. A Wallace or a bottom? You're a wallet or a grommet.

[Kevin Christie]

Grommets. Yeah, Grommets. Got to be a bottom.

[Kill Tony Host]

Jen. Thank you so much.

[Scott Kidd]

Thank you.

[Kill Tony Host]

There you go.

[Kevin Christie]

Well done, sir.

[Kill Tony Host]

All right. You got a lot to talk about. I mean, only you have been in a London prison, man.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, that's the thing. That's a pretty. Don't, you know, get into that.

[Kill Tony Host]

Right. Every once in a while. Comes up the week. Could spend an hour on.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, you went to jail In a place where there's a queen.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh yeah, totally. So bizarre.

[Kevin Christie]

You had a barrister patriot.

[Kill Tony Host]

What'd you think?

[Iron Patriot]

I think that's a vast well of jokes right there. And he listened to Sam finally because Sam suggested he talk about the two years in prison. So I think it's a step forward this week.

[Kill Tony Host]

Boom. There you go.

[Kevin Christie]

It seems like it would be 35 months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Seems like it would be easy to break out of the prison. Don't. They're guards. They can't talk or move.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, they can't move. The guards literally just stand there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Stand there like you just walk by.

[Kevin Christie]

Just like red clad microphones. Oh no, he's getting away. Wish I could help. I'm bound by duty.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, that's so great. Jem, are you listening to this? All right, there you go. Get a pen and yeah, there you go.

[Kevin Christie]

The guards can't leave. You stayed. You stayed your own volition because you felt guilty. But cuz you could have left any time. Cuz the guards aren't allowed to smile or move their arms.

[Kill Tony Host]

They did. You didn't even. They didn't even lock the gates.

[Kevin Christie]

They just stand and they go, ah, Christ, another one.

[Kill Tony Host]

Would you like some toast for your adventure? Perhaps a Triscuit or biscuit?

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Before you leave like the rest. I'm so lonely.

[Kevin Christie]

There's no prisoners here.

[Kill Tony Host]

You can't just run away. Who's going to feed you? Take some of this food. How does this prison stay open with no inhabitants? By the way, before I pull the next name, I just want to give a special shout out. Put your hands together for John and Charlie, our British consultants here tonight. Yeah, I met them before the show. They actually extended their stay here in America to be able to catch Kill Tony tonight. And that's some fucking awesome positive push. Thank you so much, Super Death Squad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wearing the bright Bert Kreischer T shirt.

[Kevin Christie]

You got gifts, you got gifts. We got gifts. Oh yeah, I have some.

[Kill Tony Host]

Nothing. We'll figure something out.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay. You want my iPhone?

[Kill Tony Host]

Would you like the special guest iPhone?

[Kevin Christie]

Give my iPhone.

[Kill Tony Host]

You got it done. In fact, I'll give you two of his.

[Kevin Christie]

I don't give a. Don't look at the pictures.

[Kill Tony Host]

This is definitely a new name or else I'd remember it. I'm excited to see what happens here. Put your hands together for Jay Light.

[Kevin Christie]

Jay Light. Let him hear you guys.

[Jay Light]

Thanks, guys. So my name is Jay Light. I work as an academic content freelance writer. Which is fancy talk for. I do rich kids homework for them because alcohol plus Money times entitlement equals laziness.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's where we're at.

[Jay Light]

Feels like a writer. Stripper. That's how I feel because I'm working in my underwear. I got frat boys throwing money at me, and I'm ashamed to tell my parents. I had one girl, she wanted to get a revision on her paper after I wrote it, which I'm fine with. That's part of the job. But I wasn't fine with the way she phrased it. She said, this is really.

[Kill Tony Host]

This is.

[Jay Light]

You're a good writer. I like your style, you're savvy, but I just don't think this was for me. Can you find me someone more qualified? Smiley face. You were paying me so that you can get drunk and suck dick this weekend in a dorm room somewhere instead of writing your ethics paper. I think you need to look at what qualified means. I wish it could have been that guy in that dorm, just been like, hey, listen, you're doing a great job. Really appreciate the way you suckled on the balls a little bit there, but I think you need me to find me.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, my God. He just comes out quicker and quicker. Every week, he comes out quicker. I swear to God. It used to take 15 seconds for

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

this bear to come out after the cat. He's eager.

[Kill Tony Host]

Now all of a sudden, all this

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

prison time,

[Kill Tony Host]

I don't even know when it's coming. Oh, my God. Oh, all right.

[Iron Patriot]

Oh.

[Kill Tony Host]

What the fuck is that? That's powerful. J Lite, everyone. Fuck, yeah. There's a lot there.

[Kevin Christie]

There's a lot there.

[Kill Tony Host]

And what's most important when you're gonna unload a topic like that is to really make it clear upfront exactly what you. You do.

[Kevin Christie]

I didn't know that existed.

[Kill Tony Host]

Right.

[Kevin Christie]

So I think probably most people were like, oh, what? Like. Like, I think you need to spend more time explaining what it is. Have a few joke tags in there. Because then by the time you get to writing stripper, they're like, why? Like, they didn't understand necessarily the structure of what you do initially, so the analogy doesn't necessarily ring.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why didn't I know this in college either? Yeah, really annoying.

[Kevin Christie]

I mean, I had my friend Tron do a paper for me and high school, but I didn't know I could pay people. His name was really Tron. He was Vietnamese, Trong smart.

[Kill Tony Host]

I mean, there's so much to that. Again, yeah, because you're talking about class, London, just like, you know, job you hate.

[Kevin Christie]

You're talking about class structure, rich kids. I Feel like you don't need to make her sucking balls.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that was kind of harsh. Even though the joke made sense.

[Kevin Christie]

And honestly, sucking someone in college, everyone's putting their mouth on everything. That's just normal shit. I, like, feel if to make it negative seems like makes you kind of more of a prude. I mean, like, God bless her, she's out there doing her thing, having a good time. The people that she's doing it to are having a good time. They're probably returning the favor. Like, that's just college. That's just fine.

[Jay Light]

I would hope they did return.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, but I mean, you make it negative, like, I'm sorry, I have to write your paper while you're sucking balls. It's basically you're saying, I'm sorry, I have to do something unfun while you're having the best time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was thinking of you sitting there, like, going, God damn, I wish I could get my dick sucked. Like, I was, like, picturing I was feeling bad, but I was also feeling like, oh, this guy's angry.

[Kevin Christie]

Maybe you realize no matter how good this paper paper is, you'll never get a blowjob from it. Like, you can be the best fake academic, like, the best fake writer ever, and you're. It's never going to get you laid ever. That may be something, but there's so much there. I think you got to break it in, like, four parts and then work on one part at a time for a little while.

[Kill Tony Host]

There's so much there. How do these people find you?

[Jay Light]

It's a company that I work for. They search for the company, and then they just submit their prompt, and then we get to pick and choose which ones you want to write.

[Kevin Christie]

They give you a treatment, basically, and you write their paper. Are they basically an essay or essays?

[Jay Light]

It's some.

[Kevin Christie]

What are you writing about? Last one you wrote about.

[Jay Light]

The last one I wrote. It was a nursing paper.

[Kill Tony Host]

Is it like a bidding thing? Is it like, hey, 75 bucks, right?

[Jay Light]

That's just a flat rate for the paper.

[Kevin Christie]

How much?

[Jay Light]

And then 10 bucks a page, and then you get a bonus if it's, like, a short deadline order.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

God, I would be fucking all over this shit. I want to go back to college.

[Kevin Christie]

That's so fucking cheap.

[Kill Tony Host]

It really is cheap.

[Kevin Christie]

So, I mean, joke writing. What do you charge per page? Wow.

[Kill Tony Host]

You don't want to know what Writers Guild minimum is. It's pretty.

[Kevin Christie]

No, not guilt. I mean, if a comic rolled on you was like, hey, you want to help me write jokes?

[Kill Tony Host]

I would tell them that they have to pay writers skilled minimum. I stick to my union.

[Kevin Christie]

That's cool because they don't stick to you.

[Kill Tony Host]

No, you know, I mean, I don't know. It really depends on who the person is.

[Kevin Christie]

Well, yeah, your friends, you know, but, you know, strange.

[Kill Tony Host]

But if it was a rich person, like what we're sort of talking about. For a page, I charge 500. Yes, that's exactly what I was. In fact, I just did that for a roast last weekend in Vegas.

[Kevin Christie]

500 a page.

[Kill Tony Host]

Just some guy that. It was really interesting. Some guy that owns horses. Kentucky Derby winner, guy.

[Kevin Christie]

I wrote jokes for the guy who owns the Grove or built the Grove or whatever.

[Kill Tony Host]

Funny.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's a real couldn't.

[Kevin Christie]

But you couldn't be funny on any level, really.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's the problem. That's what this guy was. He was talking to me on the phone like toast. Seriously?

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

I don't know what the fuck I would do.

[Kevin Christie]

You can't say baby cunt.

[Kill Tony Host]

And for the one for the Shriners.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm talking to Shriners. Yeah. You got to break that up, dude. There's too much in it, and I think there's. It's a confusing thing that people didn't know was there. So you got to educate him before you can make them laugh.

[Kill Tony Host]

I work for, you know, But I

[Kevin Christie]

think the most important thing is the class differentiation in that joke. You're poor, so you have to help the rich pretend they're smart, of which they're not, because they're rich kids. People hate. That's the thing. Everyone hates a rich kid. So you have a villain. You have a villain you can shoot at. But just don't go for the normal ways to attack them by making them sluts or, you know, that kind of thing. Find other ways because there's so much you don't hate a. And no one really hates sluts. They're great. But like, no, you don't hate a rich kid because she's a slut. You hate her for. For the white beat, the white Mercedes she got when she was 16. Like, it's. It's all money based. The fact that she's down to just makes her cool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What could the. I mean, he has a pretty good joke there with the ethics paper.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What could it be other than, like sucking dick, that cunt, you know, or whatever. He said

[Kill Tony Host]

she's rich. You know, once you cover that other part, you can. Once you cover the part that they're talking about you can basically back in the end and go, you know, it's something like, you know, this. This chick doesn't have to do her paper. Yeah, I'm struggling. She's got a Mercedes. She's out sucking dick. To go. I want to be sucking dick.

[Kevin Christie]

You know how bad I feel? Like, pretend, like, lying about writing an ethics paper. I mean, that's essentially what you're saying. He's being. You're dishonestly writing an ethics paper, which is unethical and apparently hilarious. Thank you.

[Iron Patriot]

You

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

maybe knee deep in dick. That doesn't sound so.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, knee deep in dick's a fun phrase.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, there's so much there. You have a completely original premise. So congratulations on your job. $10. $10 a page. Raise your price.

[Jay Light]

$10 a page.

[Kevin Christie]

You get rated like, oh, this guy has five stars.

[Jay Light]

No, they just. It's blind choice. It's up to the writers to choose the actual.

[Kevin Christie]

What is the point of college at this point?

[Kill Tony Host]

Does anyone ever go higher? Did they bid higher? If they need it done tomorrow, you

[Jay Light]

get return customers, and we do, I guess. I'm sure we have return customers. I had to write.

[Kevin Christie]

How often do you plagiarize their plagiarism? Where you're like, I don't have time. You just steal someone else's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not yet.

[Kevin Christie]

Because that's what they really deserve. As you steal a really famous one, they're like, oh, it's on physics. And you get, you know, like, Einstein's like, here's your theory of relativity, and just put their name on it.

[Kill Tony Host]

Did you graduate from college?

[Jay Light]

Yes, I did.

[Kevin Christie]

Clearly.

[Kill Tony Host]

How long ago?

[Jay Light]

Year ago.

[Kill Tony Host]

Perfect. So. So, you know, you're still in college, and you got out of college, and now you're in college.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's, like, fucking crazy, man. Like, what'd you go to college for? To stay in college.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. You graduated college and now you still do homework. That fucking sucks, dude.

[Kill Tony Host]

The only good part about graduating college.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Do you hate sex? What's the problem? When did you decide that my look would be the way to go as far as making it in entertainment? You're not wrong. You're not wrong. I'm just kidding, Curious. You're like, you look like me. We didn't have a choice.

[Kill Tony Host]

All the fun and all the. And you said, you know what I love about this college thing?

[Kevin Christie]

You know what's gonna get me laid? Essays. Let's do this. Let the avalanche begin.

[Kill Tony Host]

Jay, you have a very interesting premise.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, man.

[Kill Tony Host]

And you're young.

[Kevin Christie]

As you're Gonna be fine.

[Jay Light]

Thanks, guys.

[Kill Tony Host]

Jaylight, everybody. Jaylight. He's Diet J on Twitter. That's Diet J. Gonna be asking you

[Kevin Christie]

for a job in six years.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, he's definitely got that kind of.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, he'll do fine.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally. Showbiz charisma. Put your hands together for Parker Searfoss.

[Kevin Christie]

Great name.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, totally, right?

[Kevin Christie]

Great name.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's another one. I don't think I've seen this before.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you, guys. Thank you.

[Kill Tony Host]

We.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We have gay athletes now. That's a cool thing. That's weird. The first guy to come out like that was an athlete being gay was a basketball player. And I always thought it would be a pitcher. Not. No, not. Not because of that, but because he spends 90% of the game staring at the catcher's dick. That's his entire job. Like, if you decide you want to be a pitcher, there's a little part of you that has to like looking at his dong. Have you ever watched, like, a pitcher in slow motion on ESP piano? It's just like.

[Kevin Christie]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yeah, that's the one. And he just rockets it right in there. Thanks, guys. I'm Parker Z.

[Kill Tony Host]

It's very funny.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay. Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I support this.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Making sports gay. It's gayer.

[Kevin Christie]

I. Pitchers lick their fingers, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

You did a lip thing. But I feel like. I mean, they do, you see, all the time. They lick their fingers to, like, really. That's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, like, get it.

[Kevin Christie]

That's where that's gonna live. Just like a really. Go there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Would it be too much to put it in?

[Kevin Christie]

There's no such thing as too much, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You got the spanking ass that they do. You got.

[Kevin Christie]

They touch their dick first. They pick up a little dirt like an animal, and then they lick their hand. There's something, I think, to the notion that you're staring at the catcher's dick, and his dick is where his dick tells you what to do. It's your commander. That's where the signals come out. It's like, I gotta stare at your cock so I know what you want from me. You know what I mean?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You gotta, like, read the dick.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

You gotta read like a dick translator. Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

It's like. It's like that gay pitcher would be answering the question, like, how many fingers do you want in?

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Three. Spread wide. And you're like, yeah, dude, two. But over here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So I. I should definitely.

[Kevin Christie]

The dugout knuckleball.

[Kill Tony Host]

Let's do.

[Kevin Christie]

And they share secrets.

[Kill Tony Host]

Just goes.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. They always come up to each other. They have little talks. You Know what I mean?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I had a thing about that. I just didn't think I have time.

[Kill Tony Host]

You're like, you look really pretty today.

[Kevin Christie]

And then they go back.

[Kill Tony Host]

You know what I mean?

[Josh Martin]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

That's fun. There's again, there's a lot here. Like, I don't care that you have a mask on. You're still about to get real messy over there. Here comes my screwball. You know what I mean? Like, there's things.

[Iron Patriot]

Yeah. And what if. What if the catcher did the fu sign as a signal?

[Kill Tony Host]

What the fuck?

[Kevin Christie]

It is a fun thing to confuse the audience sometimes and have them go, what's this happening? This doesn't know. That's a good non sequitur.

[Kill Tony Host]

Fucking love you, Iron Patriot. God damn it.

[Kevin Christie]

But, yeah, I think. I think the key is to have so much fun with it. You don't. No one knows you're not a homophobe. And also, there aren't now gay athletes. They're just allowed to be.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. I take that out in the mean because, like, now we have gay athletes, like we always did. We just. Now there's, you know, like, a better. Come in. Just don't fall into all the traps of, like, hacky. Like, the hacky voice.

[Kill Tony Host]

Gay people.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Or, like, don't talk about, you know, the ball. Like, I thought for sure. I was like, he handles balls all day. And I was real glad that's not what you said. Like, just don't fall victim to any of those things. Whatever your first idea is, throw it away and then go to the fifth.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. But definitely the conversation thing. I like that.

[Ryan Moreno]

And then.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Fingers matching outfits. Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Everyone's wearing a special hat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They always talk whenever the pitcher's upset. It seems too.

[Kevin Christie]

So, like, it could be a support thing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

That's what he was talking about. Whisper.

[Kevin Christie]

Sometimes their friends gather around him like gay dudes at a gay bar. Like, you're doing fine. You know what? You guys are cute together. You're our favorite couple. And then they go, you know, he goes back to it.

[Kill Tony Host]

Sometimes they call the whole infield in, like, guys, guys, we need your support.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

Basically the. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Getting a third base with a bunch

[Kevin Christie]

of guys and then they break up publicly and they bring in a new pitcher.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, the relief pitcher.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, the relief pitcher.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah. Not only are they coming out of the closet, they're coming out of the bullpen.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, snap.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And it is weenie night or whatever. Can I get a foot long Opening day.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

See, you're already on the right track.

[Kill Tony Host]

Somebody's about to get some bobblehead. And we have a winner at Beersauce. On Twitter, tweet more of gave picture tags to earsauce. I can't believe you got to be.

[Kevin Christie]

One sec. Is your Red Hot Chili Peppers T shirt ironic or sincere?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Honestly, I just like the way it looked.

[Kevin Christie]

You just like the tight fit on your good body. Whatever. I'm with you. If I was in shape, I'd do the same thing.

[Kill Tony Host]

I love it.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like this is pretty constructive so far.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, totally.

[Kevin Christie]

I feel really positive about what we've been doing.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, absolutely.

[Kevin Christie]

We haven't been mean. You know what I mean?

[Kill Tony Host]

Well, you know.

[Kevin Christie]

Well, look, I mean, sometimes the truth is hard to hear.

[Iron Patriot]

Hey, you guys remember what Tommy Morris said?

[Kevin Christie]

Let's try to never remember what Tommy Morris said.

[Iron Patriot]

But listen, he was on our show and he said.

[Kill Tony Host]

He doesn't even remember what he said.

[Iron Patriot]

He said it's a sin to praise mediocre comics.

[Kevin Christie]

Well, okay. Mediocre comics.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Kevin Christie]

Unless they can get me weed,

[Iron Patriot]

your

[Kill Tony Host]

next comedian's name is Kyle Everett. Okay. Blacklisted is blacklisted.

[Kevin Christie]

Someone doesn't want to learn, and that's sad.

[Kill Tony Host]

Okay. Scott Kidd.

[Kevin Christie]

Scott Kidd led him.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Eric.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, shit.

[Scott Kidd]

Howdy, howdy, howdy. How y' all doing? Let me just zip up real quick. I want to be out exposed, all that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the.

[Scott Kidd]

I. I'm gonna pay. I'm gonna pay an homage to. To the Brokeback Mountain concept. But I'll get to that in a second. I know. I'm on the time.

[Kevin Christie]

You're running out of seconds.

[Scott Kidd]

Yep. Army Strong. Why the do they call me call it Army Strong? What the. Army strong. Army mad.

[Kevin Christie]

Army smash.

[Scott Kidd]

Just imagine a bunch of Incredible Hulks in the middle of the desert punching out sand dudes. But the whole thing about Incredible Hulk, one of the movies was directed by Ang Lee, who also directed Brokeback Mountain. When I found out that shit, I was like, oh, my God, this is perfect. How about Brokeback Marvel? You have the Incredible Hulk and Thing from the Fantastic Four sitting side by side at a campfire. It's sunset. They have literally sparkly spurs and assless chaps and little tiny. And the Incredible Hulk looks over at the Thing and says, you wouldn't like

[Kevin Christie]

me when I'm horny.

[Scott Kidd]

And the Thing looks over at the Incredible Hulk and says, it's slobbering time. I just want you to keep that image in your head of a big, green, radioactive penis slamming into a brick wall of a face.

[Kevin Christie]

Thank you.

[Scott Kidd]

I'm Scott Kidd.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, my God.

[Kevin Christie]

Scott Kidd.

[Kill Tony Host]

Holy shit. Good thing I wasn't too mean earlier. Kevin.

[Kevin Christie]

Iron Patriot. Do you want to take this one?

[Iron Patriot]

That was about as funny as a heart attack.

[Kill Tony Host]

Did you two work that out before the show or something? No, I just felt like that was a Patriot. You want to take this one?

[Kevin Christie]

I feel that was a very comic universe. Heavy joke. Iron Patriot being the most heavily invested

[Kill Tony Host]

into the comic universe and also heavily vested.

[Kevin Christie]

You son of a bitch. You did it again.

[Kill Tony Host]

£60.

[Kevin Christie]

Nothing but strikes with you. But I felt like Iron Patriot would either like it the most or take the most offense.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, yeah, definitely. Well, you got a lot going on there.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, a lot. We've seen a lot of. Wouldn't it be weird if a gay thing was in this thing?

[Kill Tony Host]

Gay meets Marvel, gay meets a lot of things. Gay meets prison, which might. Brother. Everything up here has been gay so

[Kevin Christie]

far, which either means we have a lot of latent homosexuals on this lineup or that that premise needs to be less prevalent.

[Kill Tony Host]

Jem, did you see how that was used properly?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, I just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know.

[Kevin Christie]

I always. When I see a dude going the, like, wouldn't it be weird if things were gay route. It's just. Gay's not weird anymore. That's the best thing. That's what's nice about it. Now it's. Gay's not as weird as things used to be. And a lot of times you can feel the references coming. They're all going to be sexual. They're all gonna involve putting things in other things.

[Kill Tony Host]

Chaps.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, chaps.

[Kill Tony Host]

Then he mixed it with Marvel sparkles. I bet he says big and green. Any second. It's like, big and green. I'm like, I bet he mentions a wall.

[Kevin Christie]

I like the idea of putting the Incredible Hulk a place that he normally wouldn't be. That I'm fine with, if you want to just talk about. Because you clearly like comic books, correct?

[Scott Kidd]

Sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why not?

[Kevin Christie]

Okay. Do you not like comic books? I don't know if I need to be patronized.

[Scott Kidd]

No worries. No worries.

[Kevin Christie]

Still not on any worries.

[Kill Tony Host]

What was that dance you just did when you said, no worries, though?

[Unknown Comedian 1]

No worries.

[Scott Kidd]

I apolog.

[Kevin Christie]

Trying to be nice over here.

[Kill Tony Host]

Trying everything.

[Kevin Christie]

Trying to hold in the rage. But yeah, I just think, like, put it. Make it more about comics and less about, like, the Hulk green dick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And what was the whole thing about you zipping up your jacket like. Like, what happened there you were, you had your zip your jacket unzipped, sitting over there, and you, like, Because I

[Kill Tony Host]

know that joke wasn't sponsored by Puma.

[Kevin Christie]

No, no.

[Kill Tony Host]

You acted like you had to get in your NASCAR before you took off.

[Iron Patriot]

Off.

[Scott Kidd]

I just didn't want to expose the. The Belgians.

[Kill Tony Host]

Did you think it was. You think it was going to distract from that unlistenable joke?

[Iron Patriot]

Probably.

[Kill Tony Host]

Probably.

[Kevin Christie]

Let me see, let me see, let me see.

[Scott Kidd]

It's a psychobilly band from Belgium.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's not going to distract.

[Kill Tony Host]

So much better than your jacket.

[Scott Kidd]

Really.

[Kevin Christie]

That. I mean, that just that to me, the jacket thing says to me, I don't believe in this joke. So I need to. We need to be firing on all cylinders because this main. This probably isn't going to go well. So if they see the T shirt, I'm definitely fucked.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, I think. I think make you clearly want to write a joke about comic book characters being in the wrong place. Take all the gay stuff out, put them in somewhere else, because a. It'll be a way more usable joke. That's like a TV joke. If you find it, you find a good angle on it and it's more fun for everyone and it's less about. It's less about, like stuff that to me, gets to a place that's a little. If you're gonna be fucking homophobic, bring it so hard that we're forced to laugh and then feel guilty. Guilty. You know what I mean? Where you're like, feel bad when someone tells. Like when I see a joke that maybe isn't bad, like politically incorrect. If it's so funny, you laugh. You're like, oh, I feel bad. That was so great. You know what I mean? Like, either go that far, but don't like dip your toe into maybe doing things that you're like, I don't know.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When it's not a real story and none of us. All of us knows this didn't really happen.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. You're being conceptual.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. It has to be something that we're on board with. Not one. We're just like, this is like, why am I listening to this?

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. If it's not real. If you're being conceptual and saying, wouldn't it be weird if this happened here? Push the. Push the conceptual aspect of it as opposed to making it every day, which is gay. Kind of like those gay jokes are pretty everyday gay references. So take it to a place that's hyper conceptual.

[Kill Tony Host]

How long have you been doing stand up?

[Scott Kidd]

Oh, I started in 2005.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, Jesus.

[Kevin Christie]

All right. Everyone has their own path.

[Scott Kidd]

But actually I've heard I've heard the.

[Kevin Christie]

I was just a 36 year old new face. It takes a while sometimes times.

[Scott Kidd]

No, the whole Ang Lee reference. I heard that because of the other

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

movies that he made.

[Kill Tony Host]

Made it so real.

[Kevin Christie]

It's so true. It takes a long time. Was the oldest new face of all time.

[Kill Tony Host]

How old are you, Scott?

[Scott Kidd]

I'm 29.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, you're. Who gives? You're.

[Kill Tony Host]

You're still a kid, Scott.

[Kevin Christie]

Kid.

[Kill Tony Host]

Wow. Have you been doing, have you been doing it the whole time? Since 2005.

[Scott Kidd]

Like I did take a break. I, I wanted to.

[Kill Tony Host]

Is it a seven year break?

[Scott Kidd]

It was, it was a six and a half.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, well then you've been doing stand up two years.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah. You don't answer people.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, don't do that. If you, if you stop for more than six months, you don't get to add them together and you shouldn't want to. No, no. You've been doing it. How long since you started again? Oh, a year or two.

[Scott Kidd]

Probably like four years.

[Kevin Christie]

Four years.

[Kill Tony Host]

Okay.

[Kevin Christie]

Still a while. But what I'm saying is I would,

[Kill Tony Host]

I would say six months from now on. By the way, no matter what the answer is trim. Give yourself a fresh start.

[Kevin Christie]

Trim the gay fat on that guy. Just trim the gay fat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Very good.

[Scott Kidd]

I've heard.

[Kill Tony Host]

And next time you want to zip up your jacket, take the whole fucking jacket off because you need to go through some shit. You're comforting. Free yourself too much.

[Kevin Christie]

You got hand movements going on. Just relax.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, you need to go against the grain. You need to throw yourself to the wolves.

[Kevin Christie]

No one wants to see a comedian who looks fearful. That's the one thing I know for sure. No one wants to be like haha, so jacket like they would not. It's not sexy.

[Kill Tony Host]

There he goes. Scott Kidd, everybody.

[Kevin Christie]

Scott Kidd. Let him hear it.

[Kill Tony Host]

Before we get to our final segment, I had a guy come back from last. Come on up here, buddy. I forget his name. The amazing thing about this guy is that. And it, that's why it's interesting that I forgot his name is that I find him. I find myself just daydreaming about anything else every time he's behind the mic. What's your name again?

[Tommy Lee]

Tommy Lee.

[Kill Tony Host]

Tommy Lee, everybody. Here he is. Let him hear extreme there. Here he goes before you, before he goes, let me explain.

[Kevin Christie]

Is he your only race regular?

[Kill Tony Host]

No, we have a whole regular thing that happens after this. I told him last week to come back because all we talked about last week after a set was how I couldn't remember anything that he talked about. Because every time he starts talking, I just start zoning out about other shit. It's very bizarre.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like men in blacks.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yes. So I told him to come back, just that I could test this thing to see if I could possibly pay it, Even pay attention to what he's saying, right? So here he is, Tommy Lee, everyone.

[Tommy Lee]

Man, like, I have a big problem with people always falling asleep on me, Tony. Like, it happens a lot, man. Like, when I was in college, like, I was, like, the shittiest club promoter ever, because people would literally just like, walk away from me and just zone out the exact same time. Like, I couldn't even get away. Like, free drink tickets. It was so bad. But I always noticed that the best club promoters, always black dudes, right? Because black dudes, like, they just have so much confidence they could just win you over. Like, they just knew how to hype shit up even if it sucked. They're like, hey, man. Hey, man, I'm gonna hook you up. Because you're always getting hooked up somehow. I don't know why every black person has a hookup. Say, hey, man, this club we got. We got bottles, we got two for one shots. We got everywhere got. We got patron on deck. Like, dude, this flyer says Chuck E. Cheeses, man. I'm not really sure if it's really going down like that. Yes, my little cousin's turning 12. We got pictures, we got bottles, we got Chris Brown hitting. We got Charlie, she doing coke off. It's all there, man. Like, all right, let's go, man. Guys, thank you.

[Kill Tony Host]

I was able to last about 20 seconds that time, and then I just zoned out. Kevin. Kevin. He's done. He's done with his set. You can put down your phone.

[Kevin Christie]

What happened?

[Kill Tony Host]

He did his thing.

[Kevin Christie]

Are we at the death squad show?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, what's going on here?

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I honestly, I think that you're right. They do oversell here. That's funny.

[Kill Tony Host]

You made it through.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, Brian, that made me so pleased.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think, I think the Chuck E. Chi thing, I don't believe it at all. So that's where you lost me when you said it was Chuck E. Cheese. But there, maybe there's something to there where you can.

[Kill Tony Host]

They.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you know what you were saying? I, I, I followed you this time. I didn't follow you much the other times, but I, I want to know how you were.

[Kevin Christie]

I want to know how you feel. Twitter towards black gentlemen. Like, you're saying they're so good at selling things, but how does that make you feel. Does it make you feel inadequate? Does it make you feel like, do they annoy you? Do you like it? Do you try to emulate it? Like, how's it. How's it actually affect you? As opposed to just kind of copying it and saying, this is what it sounds like?

[Tommy Lee]

I guess I want to emulate it.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay. Okay. Why?

[Tommy Lee]

Because it's awesome and I can't do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Kill Tony Host]

What's awesome about it? The fact that it's working or the fact that it's. It sounds cool?

[Tommy Lee]

The fact that it's working and I couldn't do it. Like, when I tried to do it, I was really bad at it. But it's like these guys, they were just always so much better at it than me. And, like, they were just.

[Kill Tony Host]

I don't know. Like, when you would try. How would that come out?

[Kevin Christie]

You were like a cuckolded husband. Though when I tried out cuckold it is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I guess.

[Tommy Lee]

Like, I wouldn't get too excited about it, you know, when I was. When I was selling it to him and stuff, I would just, you know, go and just kind of do it.

[Kevin Christie]

But, hey, there's this clip club if you want to go. I guess.

[Kill Tony Host]

Hey, yo, what up?

[Tommy Lee]

I guess I was like, too honest

[Kevin Christie]

about, like, a drink special and.

[Kill Tony Host]

Hey, yo, girl, would you like to go to a club tonight?

[Kevin Christie]

You can go or not. I mean, whatever. There's a black guy over there you should talk to. That's my roommate.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Maybe.

[Iron Patriot]

Maybe instead of Chuck E. Cheese, it'd be like Leroy's Chicken Shack or something.

[Kill Tony Host]

Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the.

[Kevin Christie]

When you think there's. When you think the race is. Racism has calmed itself down.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jesus Christ. What the fuck?

[Kill Tony Host]

That's unbelievable. Why do I get the.

[Kevin Christie]

How do you fit a whole clan hood under that suit?

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

I love the brothers. I love the brothers. Another thing that no one would say. Who loves the brothers?

[Kill Tony Host]

I love the brothers.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, I love the brothers. They don't like it when you call them that on any level.

[Kill Tony Host]

I was hanging out on one of my homies front yards the other day with the brothers.

[Kevin Christie]

They're just like you and us. Oh, cool.

[Kill Tony Host]

I was burning a cross. But anyway, would you like to hear my banana song again?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sit back and have some chicken.

[Kevin Christie]

Leroy. Come on, man.

[Kill Tony Host]

What are some other things that you think black people do? Iron patriot. Let's ask the million dollar question.

[Kevin Christie]

Let's not ruin his life.

[Josh Martin]

Let's just.

[Kill Tony Host]

Okay, okay.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm everyone else. It's delicious.

[Iron Patriot]

They don't like to swim all Right.

[Kill Tony Host]

I can't wait to see what the. What, like the fifth one from now is. Kevin. That's what I'm getting at. Keep blowing through him, Patriot.

[Iron Patriot]

Didn't you see Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair?

[Kill Tony Host]

Now, don't quote Chris Rock.

[Kevin Christie]

Do not drag him into this.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Iron Patriot]

The female brothers won't get in the pool.

[Kill Tony Host]

The female brothers, Tommy.

[Kevin Christie]

So what you're saying is the transsexuals. Black. Black transsexuals do not enjoy swimming, is what you're getting at.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Transgender.

[Kevin Christie]

Transgender. I apologize. What the hell?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the fuck?

[Kill Tony Host]

The female brothers.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, dear God. You're gonna have to leave la.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Security guard.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's he gonna do? Throw the banana down while he's running away?

[Kill Tony Host]

Jesus, Brian, you'll never catch me. After you slip on this banana peel and.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Or eat it or throw it at

[Kill Tony Host]

me like my fans used to in 1992.

[Kevin Christie]

Or try to resell fans, plural. I feel like that's a stretch.

[Kill Tony Host]

All right, there's Tommy Lee. Tommy. That was. That was a vast improvement. I was able to catch some of it.

[Kevin Christie]

I could tell it existed. I love.

[Kill Tony Host]

I love, love, love, love, love Kevin's note of, you know, taking a. Take a. Take an approach at it, you know, get it.

[Kevin Christie]

Make it personal. Yeah, always make it personal, I think is a good note.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally. Or else you're just doing it.

[Kevin Christie]

Otherwise it's just a joke. Yeah, it's. If the only way to be unique is to be yourself.

[Kill Tony Host]

There he goes. Tommy Lee, everybody. It's time for your final segment of the night. Always exciting. This is where we take our two regulars, two lovely ladies who, in one way or another, started their comedy career here with us. First, as always, put your hands together for Sara Mostajabi, everybody. It's Sara Mostajabi.

[Unknown Comedian 2]

Boom.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Hey, guys. You know, video games kind of define my sexual identity. It's crazy, but when I was about 13, I always dreamed, you know, when I would finally get a pair of those sweet ass Lara Croft triangle to titties. Whenever those would just grow in. I enjoy it and bore it. I love to play fighting games, you know, because there's just no better feeling than, like, beating up a dude wearing a schoolgirl outfit. It was just the best feeling. I think it made me a little bit of a pedophile, but I'm into it, you know, and that's why the way I dress, I do my hair. Everyone always very interested about my hair and what. Why it looked like I fell asleep in the garbage disposal, but it's cut like this from Final Fantasy 13, which means I went through about 12 fantasies before. I'm like, all right, let's make this a fucking reality. And.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Sara Mostajabi]

So that's it. That's it. That's it.

[Kill Tony Host]

All right.

[Sara Mostajabi]

This is getting harder, like every week. It's getting harder.

[Kill Tony Host]

Of course. Of course.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Getting so hard.

[Kevin Christie]

Welcome to doing stand up.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah. Not the. It's not easy whatsoever.

[Kimberly Congdon]

Loser.

[Kevin Christie]

Initially you bring up Lara Croft boobs that you wish you couldn't wait to get them. Are you gonna talk about yours? Because it's. You're not a flat chested woman. I'm sorry to point this out.

[Sara Mostajabi]

No, it's fine. No, I, I. But I really thought, like, I never bought like girly magazines. I was bought like PSMs and all this. And.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Sara Mostajabi]

I just, that's what. Really what I thought. Like a sexy woman.

[Kevin Christie]

I think there's something interesting to being a girl into video games because like, normally it's what keeps men from getting vagina. And you have one like that. Something about. I just think that there's something to being a girl who learned everything about from, From.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Yeah. That's where I was trying to. What I'm trying to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Sara Mostajabi]

That's my premise kind of.

[Kevin Christie]

But I think it's interesting to be like that. You've been brainwashed into actually finding those dudes attractive. Not the guys in the games, but like the kind of guys who play video games. Like, that's a hunk of you. That's a hunk to you. When actually it's just like a hunk of fat. Because that's. Those are the only men you've ever met or at conventions or whatever. But you talk a lot about your looks.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Which is tough because you're.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Well, I was told, like, I got some advice from Tony earlier late last week that he had said that I should kind of acknowledge people's perception of me. Like, like immediately recognize, well, you're cool looking.

[Kevin Christie]

So that's. But people are gonna react to that. Some people aren't gonna like it. You're basically, you're an attractive female. So you have to. That's a. And I don't know what that's like, obviously at all. That's hard to like reconcile and stand up. It really is. Because if you show it off too much, it makes people dismiss your, your act a little. If you, if you, you don't want to like, hide it too much because you don't want to waste it. But it's hard to figure. I think that's a really hard line to tell.

[Kill Tony Host]

It's really hard to pull off. What you're trying to pull off with that haircut is the problem because it's like rock star, so you can't really play it.

[Sara Mostajabi]

But I recognize both of what you're saying and that's kind of why I was trying to bring to attention that I know you might think of things like one way, but in reality I'm just such a dork that I cut my hair after a video game, you know, and then I, I know that

[Kill Tony Host]

you cut it after a video game.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, like, like, like how you said in the joke how there was 12 final fantasies or whatever like that you could say something more to explain that, that you've like, like my hair is looking more and more pixelated or less pixelated or something like that. You could get totally dorky with it, you know, or. Because that is funny that you know, you're after you're cut after the 12th version of a video character.

[Kevin Christie]

I think it's interesting to talk about having like basically a unique look.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yes.

[Kevin Christie]

Because everyone does that stuff for the same reason. It's just to get someone to like them. So. But at this point you're almost like you've made your look so confused that like, I don't mean it like that but like you could talk about like, like I, I'm sending a lot of mixed messages right now. I have like a three quarter side mullet, which I don't basically I'm looking for near sighted white traps and like, you know, and then you just talk about like I might from the waist down. I'm this from the waist up. Like, you know, I'm basically sending a kind of mixed message. And so what I basically attract is a mutant or whatever it is or

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

a GameStop employee, right?

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

I would say if you're gonna acknowledge the hair, you really gotta get into it. Like he just said like that was funny. The three quarter mullet.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

You have a side, you have a. Basically a side mullet, correct? Well, I don't know. Does it have a name?

[Sara Mostajabi]

No, it's, it's literally I just have a character from the game and I was like, can you please make this real?

[Kevin Christie]

But I mean, I've seen that hairstyle before, right? I think it has a name. Yeah. Short on one side, long on the other. Carmen Esposito is a comedian that has the exact same haircut. Her trip is about, is all about being a lesbian and her lesbian haircut.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's like Bieber up front Steven Tyler on the side or something.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Yeah, that's great. Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

But, yeah, I would just be careful of letting your look be too cool. I mean, your look can get distracting to where you walk up on stage and people are just like, visual, visual, visual. They miss the first 30 seconds of your act because you look, you know, there's a lot happening.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah.

[Sara Mostajabi]

I just. I've had people tell me, you know, that it is like, I'm kind of attractive in that.

[Kevin Christie]

Don't hide your face. Also, don't. Don't bangs it up. You hide your face like your eyes are. You got to sell jokes with your face.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Right.

[Kevin Christie]

So barrett it.

[Kill Tony Host]

Barrette correct.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't believe in that. I wear it hat, and it's usually down. Cover my eyes.

[Kevin Christie]

No one wants to see your face.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No one wants to see me.

[Kill Tony Host]

Right?

[Iron Patriot]

Yeah.

[Kill Tony Host]

It's a different thing, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

If either all three of us would love to hide our face with bangs, it would just look weird.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Well, I'm really strip. I'm really gonna try and focus on that stuff because.

[Kevin Christie]

But that's interesting. You're really shy, yet you have a look that's like, look at me, look at me, look at me. You're like a hipster neon sign. Like, you're trying to, like, get people to notice your look. It's crazy. I mean, you have all this stuff happening. You look cool as shit. So you're like, I'm shy. I'm shy. But. But you're like, not all the time. Like, you kind of like. But check all this shit out.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Is it.

[Kevin Christie]

I slept at a Hot Topic. You know what I mean? Like, you're giving it to him.

[Kill Tony Host]

You asked your barber to make you look like a character that guys spend, like, tens and tens of hours with, and now you're surprised.

[Kevin Christie]

That's very valid.

[Kill Tony Host]

Guys are like, hey, look at you.

[Kevin Christie]

You're hoping to find the guy and create a visual trigger where he's like, oh, shit, my wife. Because he's just been, like, making her move all the time. He's like, I made her move. Maybe I can make you move.

[Kill Tony Host]

Let's control this one. Yeah, I can control this one. Watch bba.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, yeah. It just walks up to you and starts pushing buttons, and you're like, I'm not. It doesn't work that way. But that's sweet, right?

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah, there's a little something there, but there's a lot to beat out. You already have a brand. You know that video game thing you could beat out?

[Kevin Christie]

I like that. You completely stayed Away from the Persian thing. I think that's the. The move, too.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Yeah, I will. I did. I made the mistake of doing that in a different episode, and I was here.

[Kevin Christie]

I know what David Taylor does. Don't take that completely seriously. That's just his. It's. It has more to do with you being a woman than anything you said.

[Sara Mostajabi]

We've had a lot of conversations outside since it happened. He's been very friendly.

[Kevin Christie]

He's a sweetheart. But his first reaction to women is cruelty.

[Kill Tony Host]

No doubt about it. And we are moving on. That's Sarah Mostajabi, everybody.

[Kevin Christie]

Sarah Most of Joby, everyone.

[Kill Tony Host]

And as always, our second lovely regular. Put your hands together for her. It's Kimberly Congdon, everyone.

[Kimberly Congdon]

Hello. Hello. I moved to LA a couple months ago. Like, three or four months ago. I've been having a lot of problems with my landlord lately, and that's because I'm not supposed to be living there.

[Sara Mostajabi]

Yeah.

[Kimberly Congdon]

He found out that me and my friend Alyssa were splitting a studio. That's my friend Alice. And so he started leaving really threatening voicemails, like, oh, no. Two people there, one person there. You gonna get kicked out. So we're like, fuck. Alyssa's like, well, maybe we can go, like, talk to him and figure it out. I'm like, alyssa, he's old, crazy in Chinese. He doesn't want two girls living in the studio. He doesn't even want two girls living. So we've had to start sneaking out because his hallway is right across from ours so he can see our front door. And Alyssa's like, well, we both got to get to work. And I'm like, I don't know what to do. And we look over and we see her suitcase. That's right. She put me in the suitcase three days ago. It was gonna be a quick move. She was just gonna throw me in the suitcase, zip me up, and drag me across.

[Kill Tony Host]

Adorable and hilarious as always. Put your hands together for Kimberly Congdon.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We just. Real quick. That was really. You need to tighten that up, because that was just more of a story that was kind of like listening to you talk about what happened this week.

[Kill Tony Host]

Yeah. It needs to be in joke form so that we can understand instead of saying, alyssa needs to be my friend, my roommate, in any way you want to say it.

[Kevin Christie]

No. It doesn't matter how many months you've lived here.

[Kill Tony Host]

Totally cool. Trim out all the bad stuff. You know what? Kevin and I are gonna tweet our more input about that to you because we have run way over our time this evening. And Kevin, is there anything you want to promote or anything? Anything.

[Kevin Christie]

I'll be at UCB the 15th with Natasha Leggero. I'm on a Showtime show, starts in September called Masters of Sex.

[Kill Tony Host]

I love it. Put your hands together for Kimberly Congdon. That's Kimberly Congdon on Twitter. Aradresses on Twitter.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Comic Patriot on Twitter.

[Kill Tony Host]

Comic Patriot on Twitter. Tony Hinchcliffe and Redband. As always, thanks for listening and thanks, everybody, for coming out. Thank you, everyone.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you very much, everyone. Come back every Monday for Kill Tony. And this is. We're gonna have the Ding Dong show next, so stay tuned.

[Kill Tony Host]

O'.

[Iron Patriot]

Clock.