KILL TONY #775 - JOE ROGAN + THAT MEXICAN OT

Summary

Kill Tony #775: Joe Rogan & That Mexican OT

Date: July 7, 2026
Venue: Comedy Mothership, Austin, Texas
Guests: Joe Rogan, That Mexican OT (Virgil)
Host: Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban
Special Regulars & Appearances: Pauly Shore, Dedrick Flynn, Pat O’Neil

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Episode Overview

This episode of Kill Tony is an explosion of Texas energy, blending famed guest appearances by Joe Rogan and first-timer That Mexican OT with an eclectic parade of aspiring (and sometimes bizarre) comedians. Over 200 hopefuls vie for just 60 seconds on the Mothership stage before facing rapid-fire panel interviews. The show delivers signature irreverence, wild audience energy, and a sense that anything—from heartfelt shares to utter absurdity—can happen.
Main theme: Celebrating live comedy’s unpredictability, diversity of comedic voices, and the thrill of discovering raw talent—or truly memorable oddballs—right in the heart of Austin.

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Key Segments & Notable Moments

1. Opening Energy & Introduction - [03:38]

• Tony Hinchcliffe hypes the unpredictability of the panel, noting:
  “It just doesn’t get any more Texas than this… I present to you two of my favorite Texas residents. One is one of my favorite rappers in the world, who happens to be hilarious… the other’s one of my best friends, one of my favorite comedians in the world… That Mexican OT and Joe Rogan.”
• Joe Rogan’s immediate, self-aware entry sets the comedic tone.

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2. Golden Ticket Set: Martin Malloy - [05:42]

• Content: Fat jokes, mental health, gambling addiction, diet struggles, and zany personal stories (frog jumps, Masturbation with Viagra, restraining orders).
• Highlights:
  • “Ladies, I had some more fat jokes, but I ate them.”
  • On therapy: “My family staged a gambling intervention. They bet me I wouldn’t show up.”
  • Share about taking medication for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder with dark but endearing humor.
• Memorable quote:
  • “Julia Mary, my love for you is stronger than any restraining order.” [13:07, Martin Malloy]
• Panel reaction:
  • Tony: “You are a national treasure… We need to keep you alive and out of jail.”
  • General awe at Martin’s marketing savvy (selling “don’t kill me, Marty” frog stress balls).

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3. First Bucket Pull: Patrick Cassidy - [14:56]

• Minute Set: Kermit the Frog/Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions, dark family jokes, awkward punchlines.
• Interview reveals:
  • 11 months into comedy, works night crew at HEB
  • Recently experienced his mother’s death the same night of a past Kill Tony appearance.
  • Spent a year liquidating family possessions, now lives with his dog in Austin.
• Memorable panel moment:
  • Mexican OT (re: the dark tone): “I’m ready to jump in front of a f**ing train.”* [20:20]

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4. Clarence Clam Clap: Recovery and Family - [23:17]

• Minute Set: Dark family jokes, “mom in Hollywood,” and a Kevin Spacey reference.
• Interview:
  • Certified nursing assistant, musician (one-man band), former meth addict who quit cold turkey [29:52]
  • Powerful moment recounting his first meth hit at age 15 and the struggle to get clean.
  • “It’s ineffable. Like, you are so, like, high, and you escape all reality… that’s what it’s for.” [29:23, Clarence]
  • Quit after getting ripped off at Subway—seen as his wake-up moment.
• Panel assessment: Simultaneously bemused and sympathetic; showcases the show’s raw, anything-goes ethos.

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5. Zavi: Comedy in a Dress & Cultural Mix - [31:06]

• Minute Set: Self-deprecating about wearing a women’s sweater, “fat guy breathing,” relatable online humiliation.
• Notable Interview Points:
  • Filipino-Canadian, four years in stand-up, recently moved to Austin
  • Former actor (Netflix, Amazon—“The 100,” “Maid”)
  • Proudly sports a “pareo” dress, shadowboxes, discusses relationships.
• Funny sequence:
  • Tony: “So, you’re basically wearing boxers and a dress.”
  • Zavi: “Yes—this guy knows what’s up.”
  • Joke about his Muay Thai ability: “That’s another reason I’m comfortable wearing this. Guys are like, ‘Yo, that’s gay,’ and I’m like, ‘I’ll f** you up.’”* [36:04]

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6. Nick Thomas: Life Change, Divorce & Polyamory - [40:25]

• Minute Set: Pranking his dad by coming out as gay, awkward racial/immigrant “culture” jokes.
• Interview:
  • Eight years in comedy, moving from Austin to Seattle
  • Recently divorced after a failed poly/open marriage
  • Honest exploration of open relationships:
    • “We tried the poly thing. Don’t do that… She caught feelings for another Mexican dude… That’s why my love life is great now.” [44:50, Nick Thomas]
  • Attempts a flirt-improv with regular Heidi, fumbling through scripted seduction humor.

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7. Special Segment: Pauly Shore Teardown - [50:44]

Pauly’s set is full of meta-comedy:

• Gripes about QR codes, weed, and “Black.com” jokes that he aborts—then explains.
• Fumbles, cracks under the spotlight, asks Tony for a “Take Two.”
• Delivers a Scientology/juice bar/Charlie Sheen joke:
  • “My name’s Pauly, not Charlie Sheen, bro!” [53:16]
• Reflects on his roots, his mother Mitzi Shore, new projects, and the joy of Austin.
• Candid, shambling, ultimately beloved by panel and audience.

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8. Dedrick Flynn: Just Back from Jail in Japan - [58:05]

• Minute Set: Wild riff about the loss of Spirit Airlines, “jail food,” and navigating isolation in Japanese lockup.
• Panel/interview:
  • Shares he wrote his jokes in a cell; reads “jail jokes” rapid-fire (“Jailbird,” “Granola tastes like outside”).
  • The food:
    • “Sometimes they put, like, a cut hot dog. Just one piece of it… sometimes we got ‘taco rice’… it didn’t look like anything I’d seen before.” [63:13]
  • No other English speakers: “The only time I got to talk English was in my dreams…” [64:18]
  • Tony & Joe contributed to legal support.
• Emotional note:
  • “Guys, the biggest, the biggest, the racist assholes over here took care of me when I was in Japan. So take that Reddit.” [65:05, Dedrick Flynn]

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9. Julia Mary: Nazi Action Figures, Lazy Eye, and Exorcism - [66:18]

• Minute Set: Jokes about Duane Syndrome (unique eye condition), being perfect to cheat on due to lack of peripheral vision.
• Revelations:
  • Sells WWII (including Nazi) action figures on eBay—explains how her old track coach’s husband collected them, passed away, and she inherited the business.
  • “You sell Nazi memorabilia and I’m Jewish. I’m like Hitler’s worst nightmare.” [72:26, Julia Mary]
  • Shares about undergoing a church exorcism at 18 for giving a hand job in a church nursery, recalls:
    • “All the elders put vegetable oil on my forehead because I gave my boyfriend a hand job in church.” [77:00]
• Panel: Recurring incredulity, fascination with the oddity of Cleveland comics.

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10. Ivan Volkov: Russian-Mexican Comedy Character - [80:03]

• Onstage Persona:
  • Fake (or real?) thick Russian-Mexican accent, jokes about “MAGA” and “Nar” (N-word in a twist).
  • Explains history as a “very successful rapper,” leans into stereotypes.
• Panel confusion:
  • Tony: “I can’t figure out what the f** is going on here… Is that your real accent?”*
• **Strange, captivating; ends pitching a business idea using homeless people as billboards.

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11. Jake Baker: Sperm Banks & “Space Racism” - [89:46]

• Set: Awkward jokes about autistic brother, Ninja Turtles, “I hate autistic people.”
• Backstory:
  • Unemployed due to AI, has $43, banking on $1,500 for sperm quality screening [91:07]
  • Hobby: Painting Warhammer 40k figurines (“space racism”).
  • Girlfriend of three years, black; notes,
    • “Black women just come up to me… I think I have the appearance they could beat me in a fight.” [97:39, Jake]
  • Admits to ten concussions (“being a dumbass”).
• Panel riff: Tony likens his concussions to “a lot of black women you’ve been with.”

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12. Boone Blocker: Comedy from the Chair - [100:59]

• Set: Jokes about paralysis, wheelchair dating, “Stumble” as a disabled dating app, finger-in-butt surprise, Governor Abbott.
• Life Story:
  • Paralyzed at 24 after falling asleep at the wheel (not DUI), now 48.
  • “Actually a game of musical chairs—I won forever.” [103:07]
  • Dates via Bumble, sometimes hiding that he's in a wheelchair.
• Worst Bomb:
  • Forgot “walk up” song at a steep-ramped venue, went downhill from there:
    • “Downhill is the best thing for me; it’s the uphill stuff that gets me.” [106:43]

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13. Poncho: Chlamydia 8 Times & Open Mic Hustle - [107:27]

• Set: Self-discovery, letting a woman “cup his tits.”
• Interview:
  • DoorDasher, security at raves, four roommates in a 4br/4ba; $575 rent.
  • Moved from San Jose CA after a mushroom trip “told him” to move to Austin.
• Standout moment:
  • “Fun fact: I’ve had chlamydia eight times.” [114:13, Poncho]
  • Three from one girl, rest from “hood” Latina women in San Jose.
  • Tony: “Eight times is a lot. Never had it once… I do massage parlors and that’s crazy.” [115:16]

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14. Pat O’Neil: Regular Closer – Jokes, Not Trauma - [116:57]

• Highlights:
  • Joke machine mode: Pride month, non-binary pronoun wordplay, Amber Alerts (“not appropriate for something to vibrate that hard to let you know a kid’s being—”), statistics about kidnappings (punchline: “Puerto Ricans”).
  • Tony:
    • “We almost forgot what it was like… joke, joke, joke, joke.”
    • Advice: “Let the record show, that’s what to do. Don’t ask the audience questions. Just do jokes.” [119:00]
• **Credit for professionalism—contrasted with the chaos preceding him.

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Notable Quotes

• Martin Malloy:
  “Julia Mary, my love for you is stronger than any restraining order.” [13:07]
• Joe Rogan:
  “That’s my minute. I love y’all.” [59:23, returning Dedrick Flynn’s set]
• Tony Hinchcliffe (recurring theme, after odd sets):
  “We are pulling teeth up here tonight.” [38:04]
• Julia Mary (selling Nazi action figures):
  “I’m like Hitler’s worst nightmare.” [72:26]
• Ivan Volkov (the Russian-Mexican):
  “I like to play cards, smoke cigar… take care of garbage, you know, things like that.” [83:41]

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Highlights | "Must-Listen" Timestamps

• [05:42] – Martin Malloy’s joke assault & mental health reveals
• [29:52] – Clarence Clam Clap on quitting meth
• [36:04] – Zavi shadowboxes onstage in a woman’s dress
• [44:50] – Nick Thomas: The agony of polyamory
• [53:16] – Pauly Shore “Not Charlie Sheen, bro!”
• [58:05] – Dedrick Flynn returns from Japanese jail
• [66:18] – Julia Mary on selling Nazi memorabilia
• [72:26] – Julia Mary: “I’m like Hitler’s worst nightmare.”
• [77:00] – Julia’s exorcism for giving a hand job at church
• [103:07] – Boone Blocker: “I won musical chairs forever.”
• [114:13] – Poncho: “I’ve had chlamydia eight times.”
• [116:57] – Pat O’Neil demonstrates pro-level joke delivery

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Overall Tone & Takeaway

Equal parts irreverent, insightful, and wildly chaotic, episode #775 embodies what makes Kill Tony unique: unfiltered new talent, brutally honest feedback, comics’ dark secrets and survival tales, side-splitting improvisation, and an unapologetic love of comedy’s oddest outliers.
Joe Rogan and That Mexican OT riff seamlessly alongside Tony and Redban—sometimes barely able to follow guests’ wild life stories, but always keeping the crowd laughing.

For aspiring comics:

• Jokes > rambling confessions
• The stage rewards boldness, but also specificity and preparation
• The “bucket” never lies—come prepared for literally any character or story to emerge.

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A wild, must-listen episode for those who love their comedy raw, unpredictable, and a little bit unhinged.

Transcript

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word.

[Carvana Advertiser]

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad podcast network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at Death Squad TV, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out tonyhenchcliffe.com for everything. The golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out Shop Squad TV for Death Squad merch hats, mugs, whatever, ShopSquad TV. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redneck coming to you live from the comedy mothership here in

[Joe Rogan]

Austin, Texas, for a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Get over Tony X Clown.

[Joe Rogan]

Who's ready for the best fucking night

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

of their lives, huh?

[Poncho]

Yippee.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Brian Rose, ladies and gentlemen.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And that there is the best stamp band in all the land. Make some noise. That's going down here tonight in Austin, Texas. Oh, my God. How we feeling? We ready for tonight's show or what? It feels good in here. Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the awesome sponsors that made it all possible. You guys ready to get tonight's show started? I think you guys have to do better than that. You guys ready to start tonight's show? Every single week, I book this mama jama as good as I possibly can. My God, am I proud of this week's work. I mean, you know, you never know who you're going to get here. Sometimes it's just a some of the best comedians. Sometimes it's a funny rock star. Sometimes it's a this, it's a that. It just doesn't get any better than this. It doesn't get any more Texas than this. As I present to you two of my favorite Texas residents. One is one of my favorite rappers in the world, who happens to be hilarious and an unbelievable live performer. The other one's one of my best friends, one of my favorite comedians in the world, and without a doubt, the undisputed, biggest pop. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you tonight's guest, that Mexican OT and Joe Rogan.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, my God. It's a Mexican OT

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

and Joe motherfucking Rogan. Ladies and gentlemen, here at the Comedy Mothership. Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen, the pride of Texas. That Mexican OT's first time on panel here tonight. Virgil, say hi to these beautiful people out here. How we feeling, Texas?

[Martin Malloy]

I feel good, man. Blessings.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Blessings, baby. We're so thrilled to have you. Ladies and gentlemen, it is without a doubt the return of the great Joe Rogan is here, everyone.

[Mexican OT]

Always happy to be here. Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We always have a good old time. We keep our finger on the pulse watching the next level of talent or untalent. As we've seen many a times on this show. Over 200 human souls signed up for the chance to get 60 seconds on this stage. You know their time is up and you're the sound of a kitten. That means they have to wrap it up then, or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear, which rudely interrupts their set. I conduct an interview. We find out more about them and what they can talk about about the interesting facts of their lives. We're going to let this trans school shooter pull the first name out of the bucket here tonight. Congratulations to you. Just to show the authenticity of the show, a normal human future assailant picking the first name. And while we go wrangle that bucket pool, we have a golden ticket winner here to give us our first minute of comedy tonight. This is only his second time ever on this show. Everybody fell in love with him when he won his golden ticket just a couple months ago. Make some noise. This is the second appearance of golden ticket winner Martin Moloy, everybody. Here we go.

[Martin Malloy]

Hi, I'm Marty. They say if you're being bitten by a dog, just stick your finger up its spot and it will release. But in my case, I think that's why that dog was biting me in the first place. I like to wear sunglasses to funerals. So when people look at me, they think that's the killer. Have you ever seen a really fat guy in a bad mood? You know he's in a bad mood cause he's a really fat guy. Have you ever seen a Guy works at McDonald's in a bad mood. You know he's in a bad mood? Cause he's a guy working at McDonald's. Have you ever seen a really fat guy working at McDonald's in a good mood? Do you know he's in a good mood? Cause he's a really fat guy working at McDonald's. Okay, I'm a really fat guy that works at McDonald's. 50% discount. Ladies, I had some more fat jokes, but I ate them. A bidet is just a drinking fountain for your thirsty, thirsty butthole. I told this woman I had a big dick. She said, I don't like big dicks. I said, do you like liars?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Martin Malloy, ladies and gentlemen, has done it again. Absolute joke machine you've done. I mean, you are just unstoppable. Martin, we love you here. Step up to that mic.

[Martin Malloy]

Okay. Yeah. I want to update my. My diagnosis.

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah.

[Martin Malloy]

As you know, I'm schizophrenic.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Martin Malloy]

But I'm also bipolar, so after I kill someone, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely perfect. I love it. We love. We love you.

[Martin Malloy]

Mark, I want to talk to you about my talk space.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, let's talk right into that microphone.

[Martin Malloy]

I'm. I'm. I joined Talkspace, and they're going to help me with dieting and stopping gambling. My. My family staged a gambling intervention for me. They bet me I wouldn't show up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Martin, what are you gambling on? I can't pick shorts. Really?

[Martin Malloy]

Well, one time I won $50,000 in the lottery and a $20 scratch off in Ohio, and I spent a whole $50,000 on lottery tickets. I did buy a car for $500, but that was it. Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What an amazing business model.

[Martin Malloy]

And let's check out my Instagram.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay. Why don't we just take it one step at a time here? Martin, I know you have a list of things you want to get to, okay. But you said you're using talk space to help with dieting as well. What are you. What have you been. What are you trying to get off of?

[Martin Malloy]

Pop.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're on Pop Pop.

[Martin Malloy]

Yeah. I drink. I drink seven or eight pops a day, and I eat a. I eat at least a large pepperoni pizza a day. I started dieting, like, three days ago. I haven't lost anything yet. I don't think.

[Mexican OT]

Marty, what kind of medication are you on?

[Martin Malloy]

I'm on Kytopine, which is Seroquel, which is really good. I'm on Trazodone, which helps me sleep And I'm on vitamin D and some other stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, Big drop off from trazodone to vitamin D. By the way, there is a world of difference between those two drugs.

[Nick Thomas]

Whoa.

[Mexican OT]

What happens if you get off them?

[Martin Malloy]

I go crazy. My family will send me to the mental hospital, which they did one time. They sent me to the mental hospital because I was asked to be on the Howard Stern show because. Because I was schizophrenic and voice in my head give me Winnie stock picks, and my mom said she'd have a heart attack, and my boss said I'd be fired. So I canceled my appearance. And then my family sent me to the mental hospital so I wouldn't appear on the show.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Damn those blockers. Well, look at you now.

[Martin Malloy]

Yeah.

[Mexican OT]

How long you been doing comedy?

[Martin Malloy]

Since November 2004. But I couldn't do it for six years because I had an enlarged prostate and I had to pee every three minutes and I couldn't work. I couldn't work because they wouldn't give me a catheter. I don't know why they wouldn't give me a catheter so I could work. I just had to lug around a bucket of pee all day at work.

[Mexican OT]

You are a national treasure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes, he is.

[Mexican OT]

We need to keep you alive.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We need to keep you alive and

[Mexican OT]

out of jail, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That Mexican ot This is that American ocd. Glad you guys get to meet.

[Martin Malloy]

Can I talk about the frog jump?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sure, yeah. Talk about the. The famous Cleveland frog jump.

[Martin Malloy]

It's Valley City, Ohio, frog jump. And I have a booth there July 19th at the Frog jump. And I'm trying to go one step further and be the grand marshal. So if. If you know anyone in Valley City that runs the frog jump, tell them to make me the grand marshal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, I'm sure our.

[Mexican OT]

What are we even talking about?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a.

[Martin Malloy]

Well, well, Tony asked me last week if I had any hobbies. They did. And I did go to the Valley City frog jump. And the first time I did it, they told me to hold on to the frog tight. I held onto it so tight that I killed it. And so I'm selling. I'm selling. I'm selling frog stress balls to say, don't kill me, Marty on them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This guy is a marketing machine. It is unbelievable.

[Martin Malloy]

You can get them at Very funny comedy dot com.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, Martin, so this is. This is a competition in which they judge the length in which the frog jumps.

[Martin Malloy]

They jump three feet from there and then a spread out parachute in the thing, and you jump 3.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Explain it 1 more time, a little bit slower.

[Martin Malloy]

Okay. There's a parachute that they spread out, a circular parachute.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They put the parachute on the frog on the.

[Martin Malloy]

On the ground. It's a big parachute.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Martin Malloy]

And then you jump three times. And they measure the distance from three times. Three. Three jumps and to the center. And that's how you win. I've had the second longest jump one year. My. My nephew Jimmy has won the frog jump. Two years.

[Mexican OT]

Was you and your family the only people who entered?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, no.

[Martin Malloy]

Last week,

[Mexican OT]

around the block.

[Martin Malloy]

I. I want to talk about. My doctor prescribed me Viagra.

[Mexican OT]

Okay, let's go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's talk about that. We love. We're more a blue chew people here.

[Mexican OT]

When he described it to you, what was his directions?

[Martin Malloy]

He wanted me to use it with a girl.

[Mexican OT]

Oh, how odd. And how uninclusive.

[Martin Malloy]

I. I had to lie to him and tell him that it's for me and my girlfriend, when really I just use it to masturbate.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. So you'll pop a Viagra, then what? You open up a website?

[Martin Malloy]

No, I. I just masturbate.

[Joe Rogan]

You don't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You don't use like a magazine or

[Mexican OT]

you stare at a corner of the wall and say, I'm a bad boy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, maybe if you weren't jizzing on your frogs, they'd win the competition. Those things are in a sticky situation. Are you giving that?

[Mexican OT]

You pop big lows. It's a lot of extra weight.

[Martin Malloy]

I. I just think of my love interest, Julia Mary. And Julia Mary, my love for you is stronger than any restraining order.

[Mexican OT]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, fuck.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, my God.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Oh, my God.

[Mexican OT]

Let's go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You are amazing, Martin.

[Martin Malloy]

Oh, red man, I got something for you. Tony's got a made in your seat by illegals wristband on. Yeah, I got one for you, but I have to special order because it's xxl because you're fat.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you just got roasted by your future self. That is amazing. Wow, Martin, I gotta tell you, you are.

[Martin Malloy]

I want to ask you, huh, Before I go, can I get a second golden ticket for my other personalities?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Buddy, you have whatever you want. You keep doing jokes like that in interviews like this, you're unstoppable.

[Martin Malloy]

I got another Viagra joke. I got another Viagra joke.

[Zavi]

Okay.

[Martin Malloy]

My doctor prescribed me Viagra. It's five pills for only $10. That's just $2 for Kardashian. That's just a joke. I have much better taste than that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I Love you, Martin. Everybody loves you. The kill Tony Universe loves you. You did it again. Congratulations. Martin Malloy, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. Sure. Say your Instagram.

[Martin Malloy]

My Instagram is Cleveland Comedian. Please follow me at Cleveland Comedian. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No doubt. Follow Martin Malloy, the sweet man. This guy's bipolar and has put together more than most of these bucket poles. It's incredible. And to the bucket we go. This is where we found Martin. This is where we found all of our regulars. Everybody has a shot. Ladies and gentlemen, your first bucket pull. Tonight, we're gonna meet them all together. Goes by the name of Patrick Cassidy, everybody. Here we go. What's up, everybody?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Watch out there. Give it up for my dad, everybody. That was a hell of a no. You guys like impressions? All right, I'm gonna do impression for you. I'm gonna set this one up. This one is Kermit the Frog. He's going over to my grandmother's house

[Pauly Shore]

to have sex with her.

[Patrick Cassidy]

All right. Hi, ho.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Kermit the Frog here.

[Patrick Cassidy]

He's calling my grandma ho. All right, I have a better one. This is a better one. This one is Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's at a gang bang with Kermit the Frog at my grandma's house. This is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kemet, you be front.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'll be back.

[Ivan Volkov]

All right.

[Patrick Cassidy]

That was dumb. All right. What does a gay. No, what does a straight horse. I almost fucked it up. What does a straight horse say to a gay horse? What you doing back there? I got one more. How come everybody says if I had a time machine, I would go back in time, kill baby Hitler, but nobody says I would kidnap him and raise him, right? I don't. All right, that's my time, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow.

[Mexican OT]

Dude, you need to get on some of Marty's drugs.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I'm prescribing you Trazodone and vitamin

[Mexican OT]

D. Get on that stuff.

[Patrick Cassidy]

You think I'm already stealing them? No.

[Jake Baker]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's incredible is we found out during his set that there's one woman over in this area that will laugh at absolutely anything if you just leave a space like you did a joke, there is a random woman over here that will crack the floor up. So keep an eye on that for the rest of the show. There's a woman that will laugh at the most unfunny ever said unfun. I mean, the impressions weren't even spot on. And they were impressions of the. I mean, those are the most impressioned impressions.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah. Oh, I'm still working on those.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. You're still working on a lot? Hell, yeah.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Eleventh month in comedies.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think your odds are better of playing for the actual 49ers than you're not wrong.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Not wrong. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Patrick, how long have you been attempting stand up?

[Patrick Cassidy]

About 11 months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

11 months. And how often are you performing?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Well, I got a full time job, so that kind of cut into it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's the job?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Night crew manager at heb.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, nice.

[Zavi]

All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's a redeeming quality about you. Without a doubt. We love H E B here at Kill Tony. Huge HB fans. Tell us what working the night crew at H E B is like.

[Patrick Cassidy]

It's not easy for when you're 53.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, neither is comedy, obviously.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah.

[Ivan Volkov]

Oh, geez.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So tell us about it.

[Joe Rogan]

What.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What goes on there that would surprise people?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Well, you get to, you know, you get to rock out to your music the whole time. I didn't I ever have to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're on the AUX at heb.

[Patrick Cassidy]

I'm on the. No, I'm on the. I don't know what that is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's like the Bluetooth system.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Oh, yes.

[Pauly Shore]

Okay.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah, everybody has Bluetooth, so you literally got to go down the aisle to tell them something because they're just rocking out, so. But night cruise is different than obviously, daycare.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your home life like, Patrick? You seem like the kind of guy

[Patrick Cassidy]

that I was in an RV for the first 10 months and then just got an apartment on 41st street by my HEV.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So nice. By yourself?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah, it's me and the dog.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

One bedroom.

[Patrick Cassidy]

One bedroom.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

One bath.

[Patrick Cassidy]

One bath.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And what kind of dog is it?

[Patrick Cassidy]

It's a white lab.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's the dog's name?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Nala.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Martin has his finger up his ass right now somewhere. 41st street near the HEB. Sniffing it out. So, Patrick, let's talk about your life. Have you suffered any trauma or anything like that that might be funnier than Kermit and Arnold Schwarzenegger gang banging your mother? Is there something in your real life?

[Ivan Volkov]

No.

[Patrick Cassidy]

I don't know why I got mad at that. There's lots of trauma in my life. Yeah?

[Joe Rogan]

Like what?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Well, I was on this show in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, perfect. Great. Sure.

[Patrick Cassidy]

In September 24th. And the night the show aired, I had a big party and all my friends watched with me and it was actually better than this. And

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

here we go. Here we go.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Right after we're about to the show. Here it comes from the hospital and my mom had died.

[Ivan Volkov]

Oh,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

she must have seen your performance just stopped.

[Joe Rogan]

I did Kill.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I did kill.

[Patrick Cassidy]

That was one time.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's incredible. So mom died at.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah, So I went from, like, the highest high to, like, the lowest low in, like, one second. So.

[Jake Baker]

Damn.

[Patrick Cassidy]

It was actually. It was tough, but took me about 10, 12 months to sell their places and then move out here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's perfect.

[Patrick Cassidy]

I've been doing about six to eight open mics a week.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, there you go.

[Joe Rogan]

So.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you're trying. Don't you have like a. Do you think you have, like a better. A better joke than what you said

[Mexican OT]

you killed the first time you were on the show?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Well, my mom died, so that's what he was saying.

[Mexican OT]

But you did well the first time

[Patrick Cassidy]

I got a big joke book. I think it was because the interview. Not so much my material.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What happened during the interview that went so well?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Just told you my story about taking care of my dad and how he died. Oh. So really I have a kill. Killer price. But yeah, it was just like a. You know, we watch the show together all the time and.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ah, that's right. It's coming back to me now, Patrick. So what else is going on, man? There has to be something exciting in life. There has to be something to bring the morale in the room up a little bit.

[Mexican OT]

I'm ready to jump in front of a fucking train.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Well, this is probably gonna go the wrong way, but I just bought a new gun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, a new gun. Oh, shit. Wow.

[Mexican OT]

Jesus Christ. What does it taste like?

[Jake Baker]

Copper.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you gone to the range or anything with it?

[Patrick Cassidy]

I haven't. I don't know if you can recommend a good indoor range.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, there's a range. It's called the Range. Go to the range.

[Patrick Cassidy]

I could probably find it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. So what. What made you get the gun?

[Ivan Volkov]

Just.

[Patrick Cassidy]

It was a good deal from a friend. So if you wanted to buy this gun, I was like, yeah, I'll buy it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Gave you a good deal on it.

[Ivan Volkov]

Good deal.

[Patrick Cassidy]

200 bucks.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you think he. Is there a reason why it was such a good deal for this gun?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Serial numbers filed off. That's kind of weird, but all right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, Patrick, go fill up that big joke book I gave you last time, buddy.

[Patrick Cassidy]

We're gonna turn it into a autograph book for all my favorite comedians.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, there you go.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yep. Got a lot in there already.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Patrick Cassaday, everybody. Keep writing, Patrick. Do something different next time, all right? Oh, my God. There she is. That always cleanses the room. Hi there. I'm always looking for little ways to save time. I'll Answer emails while I'm waiting for coffee. Order the same household stuff on subscription so never have to think about it. And if there's a way to avoid an extra errand, I'm doing it. Time is the one thing you never get back. Everybody's got their own little system, right?

[Zavi]

Red Band?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

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[Mexican OT]

Buyer's remorse.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Buy a new car. I'll be moving in. Let's get started.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Sorry, I think there's been a mistake.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no.

[Carvana Advertiser]

No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyers rejoice.

[Mexican OT]

I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Buyers rejoice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Buy your car today on Carvana.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven day return [e-mail].

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for your next bucket pool. It's Clarence Clam clap. Everyone can happen here.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Hey.

[Nick Thomas]

Hey.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

So I moved my mom in with me recently to help her out financially is what I'm telling people and trying to find something to watch together the other day. So I go to put on Talladega Nights and she's like, I can't watch anything with Will Ferrell in it. He's an asshole in real life. So then I go, put on a new girl. Love, Zoe Deschanel. She goes, I can't watch anything with her in it. She's a bitch in real life. And I go, mom, you like Kevin Spacey. We all remember what he was doing in Real life, right? Scabbing old boys by the bussy. My mom told my brother and I, if it wasn't for us two, she would have moved back to Hollywood a long time ago. And I said, mom, you should have. And you could have taken us with you. I would have been one of those boys. I had a pretty cute mouth and I could keep it shut when I was younger. How ironic it would have been if she had the crush on Mr. Spacey and I was the one that got to him. Pull a real kaiser. So say on her, you could say. And I would have been one of his usual suspects. Thank you very much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Clarence Clams, everybody. Wow. You even got the lady that laughs at everything to shut the up. I mean, that's. That's incredible. Amazing. Clarence. CLAM clap clamor how long have you been doing stand up?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I've done like 10 mics to kind of, like, prepare for this because I didn't want to be like, one of those douche balls that had nothing prepared.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, you were halfway there.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Halfway there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You prepared something. And how long have you been attempting to start your own militia?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Since I picked up this jacket from a thrift store, I guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah. All right, Clarence, so how old are you?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I'm 36.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

36. What made you want to start stand up now?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Well, I do music normally and I can't find a drummer. At least the drummer. I'm a bassist and a vocalist and I live out in Las Vegas. And either Drummers are in 10 projects or they. They used to play drums a lot and they don't anymore. So they don't have a kid and they have a life or they want to play one type of music, like, and it's usually death metal. And I like, you know, life is ebbs and flows. I like to play it all, like punk, I like hip hop, alternative, all that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think you answered a whole different question.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

So why you started comedy? Because it's easier to do by yourself.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm sorry, what was that?

[Mexican OT]

Ot What'd you say, bro?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I said in my high ass listening to him, I'll say that.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

So if I answer your question, I started comedy because it's easier to do by yourself.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, got it. Yes. But you play the bass.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I played bass.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you've been playing that for how long?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Like 13 years.

[Mexican OT]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you're in a band right now?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I'm in a project called Clarence and the Clam Claps, where I play all the characters. So I gave myself split personality disorder.

[Jake Baker]

Wow.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, well, okay.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yeah, Sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Clarence, do you make money doing that, or is that just like. More like a passion project?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

It's a passion right now, man. I. I would love to, like, do a little tour. I would love to just find a drummer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But how long. What do you do for an actual living?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I'm a certified nurse assistant.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really? You're a nurse's assistant?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what do people say when you show up next to their hospital bed?

[Zavi]

No.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

So I got a. It's a very low maintenance client I work from in home, and I go to his house and I clean his house, help them out with duties throughout the day, pays the bills and helps support my mom.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You support your mom?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where's your mom at?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Las Vegas.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's wrong with her?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

So she's on a. She's retired. She's on a fixed income of 1400amonth. And in Vegas, that's like rent in a lot of places.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, unless you win a lot of money gambling.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Hey, well, I must have done wrong in my past life because I suck at it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Does she. Why does she live in Vegas?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

We both live in Vegas.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's where you're from? Born, raised, born and raised. What made her pick Vegas as the place to raise you?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

That's a good question for her.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that where she was born?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

No, she was born in California, and then my grandma was original showgirl. They moved to Vegas, so she kind of got raised out there. And then she moved back to Santa Monica and then, like, back to Vegas. So she's been back and forth.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tell us something interesting about your life that makes you different than everybody else. Let's see.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I. I quit meth by myself. No, rehab.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Quit meth.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfect. Let's talk about this.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

All right, thank you.

[Mexican OT]

Now we're talking.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here we go.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Damn.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's a part I'm trying to forget. Well, let's go. Let's start here. Well, how did you start on meth? What happens to exactly. To where you're like, I'm out of weed. Let's try.

[Mexican OT]

Tell us about the first hit.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yeah, the first hit's incredible.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, yeah, Take us through it. How does it start? Are you by yourself? Are you with a friend? What happened?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I was with guys that sold me weed in high school.

[Mexican OT]

And how were you dressed?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

How was I. How were they dressed?

[Mexican OT]

How were you dressed?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Probably Echo Unlimited Gear and Sean John or whatever.

[Mexican OT]

Got it. Yeah, yeah, keep going.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yeah. Probably Air Force Ones. And then, you know, we're high as and they Just busted out the pipe and started Twisty turning out, and he's like, you want to try this? And I was young and susceptible and.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How young?

[Mexican OT]

I was 35.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fifteen, I think.

[Pauly Shore]

Fifteen.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you started meth?

[Poncho]

Yeah.

[Mexican OT]

Let's go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Vegas, baby. So what happens? You hit that sweet, sweet rock and then what?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

It's funny. I threw it, stayed up a while, and then I walked home. It wasn't too far.

[Mexican OT]

Talk us through the first hit.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

describe it so you twist.

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right?

[Mexican OT]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And use your words.

[Mexican OT]

What's it like?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

It's like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's like the best. Fucking God, man.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

It's ineffable. It's really ineffable, and that's why you chase it. It's really ineffable. Like, you are so, like, high, and you escape all reality. And that's what it's really for, is to escape reality. And I fucking. That's what I was trying to do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's a couple people trying to escape reality right now because of this amazing interview. So how did you get off of meth?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

I did it for 10 years, and I always knew I would get off of it because I hung out with people that were older than me. And I just like, I don't want to be fucking 40, 30, even 25, still doing this shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, right?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

So I was. I got ripped off at Subway one time trying to get a. Trying to get a bag, and I

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

was like, that was it.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yeah. I was like, this leads me to the same shady people, the same shitty situations, and I was smoking weed in the subway bathroom looking at myself like, look, this shit doesn't do that to you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have you been off math?

[Clarence Clam Clap]

July 14, 2014.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, 2014.

[Pauly Shore]

Wow.

[Jake Baker]

All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, Clarence, clam clap. Well, we will be on the lookout for you. Here's a little joke book, my friend. There he goes.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

So much, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Clarence, clam clap. We're gonna keep it moving along here. Some tough interviews out of this bucket so far. There goes Clarence. You guys having fun out there? I told you, anything can happen. Could be the next talent. Could be an insane human being. That's biggest accomplishment is stopping the meth that they started. Your next bucket pool goes by the name of Zavi. Ladies and gentlemen, Zavi.

[Zavi]

What's going on, guys? I bought this sweater specifically for this. And this is, like, my 10th time trying to sign up. And so I've just been bringing this every time. And I was excited to put it on when they called my name. And I just realized this is a girl's sweater.

[Jake Baker]

I don't.

[Zavi]

You want to know how I know it's a girl's sweater? Where's the.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Where's the rest of it?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is crazy.

[Zavi]

And I don't like it because I'm getting fat. I don't know if it looked like it, but I'm getting fat. So this happened where my friend gave birth, and I was at the hospital and I was taking a picture of the baby. I was taking a video, and I was right here in front of the baby. And I didn't want to make any noise because the baby was being so cute doing baby things. And I was like, oh, this is beautiful. I uploaded it to Instagram and then all of a sudden, DMs started coming. I was like, oh, man, they love the baby. And then one of my friends messaged me, and his message was, bro, why are you breathing so loud? I was like, oh, fuck, I'm breathing like a big guy. This is crazy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I deleted it.

[Zavi]

I didn't want people seeing it. All of a sudden, it's too late. He sent it to the friend group, and my friend was like, oh, my God. Why does it sound like you're gonna eat the baby? It. I don't like it. I'm doing fat things. I was eating yogurt the other day. It dripped on my phone and I licked my phone. I didn't want to waste it. Oh, no. But, yeah, I guess I'll end it at that. My name's Chavy, guys. Thanks for having me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Holy shit. This is incredible. What an anomaly. I mean, you acknowledge that you're wearing a woman's hoodie, but you don't acknowledge that you're wearing a dress.

[Zavi]

I know. I'm keeping it real with the culture. I'm Filipino, so I'm repping.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's what I'm doing. What does that even mean? We've had many Filipinos on this show. They all wear pants.

[Zavi]

Yeah, I know those quitters.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long have you been in America?

[Zavi]

I got here two months ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you're from the Philippines?

[Zavi]

Well, surprise, I'm Canadian. That's. Didn't want to throw that too early, but yeah. Hey, this is what a Canadian Filipino looks like.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is all starting to make sense. Wow. So how long have you been doing stand up comedy?

[Zavi]

Coming up? Four years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Four years. What part of Canada are you doing this at?

[Zavi]

Toronto.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And do you always wear a dress? I'm kind of confused.

[Zavi]

Yeah, so it's called the pareo, and they typically wear These on the islands and with this weather, you guys got to try it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you wear underwear underneath that?

[Zavi]

I got boxers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you're basically wearing boxers and address.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Freaking, man.

[Zavi]

You know what I mean? This guy knows what's up.

[Poncho]

Nope.

[Carvana Advertiser]

All right.

[Zavi]

This guy got scared. He's like, I don't want to catch gays.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow. So how often. How often do you wear the women's clothes?

[Zavi]

Well, men wear this as well, so. Sure they don't, but no, especially if it's hot. I'm always wearing it. So since I've been here in Texas, I've been wearing it.

[Mexican OT]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And a hoodie.

[Zavi]

This was specific. It was cooler back in April, so I was like, oh, I'm gonna get called. And it didn't happen until now, but I was like, I gotta commit to the bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how often do you sign up for the show?

[Zavi]

I've signed up every week.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Every week since April.

[Zavi]

Here?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Okay. You got here in April?

[Zavi]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you live here now?

[Jake Baker]

I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What do you do for work?

[Zavi]

Just this. Really?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You do stand up comedy for work?

[Zavi]

Yes, sir.

[Mexican OT]

You're gonna starve.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you make money doing stand up?

[Zavi]

So I'm an actor as well. And so, like, I'm just writing off the work that I've been doing on that. So since I'm not, what type.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where can we find your acting work?

[Zavi]

You can find me on Netflix. You can find me on Amazon.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What? What on Netflix?

[Zavi]

Netflix. There's a show called the 100. I've been on that. There's an Emmy nominated show called Maid. I've been on that. I had longer hair back then too, so if you watch that, you might see me in that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, so you make money acting?

[Zavi]

Yes, sir.

[Joe Rogan]

All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When's the last time you got an acting gig?

[Zavi]

I'd say two years ago.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, so. And you were getting those when you

[Zavi]

were in Toronto, So I'm also sag. So I've been getting work in America as well. That is. Yeah, that show, season seven. This guy's googling my IMDb now. Look at this gay guy searching up another gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, shit. That looks it. That look. The look of good luck making it out of here. Amazing. How will he ever describe to his boys outside how to find the guy in a dress looking ass.

[Zavi]

I just got to get rid of his glasses and then you won't be able to see.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. So, Zabi, tell us more about your life other than your old acting gig. How. What do you do for fun? You seem like an odd bird.

[Zavi]

I am an odd bird. For fun, I watch a lot of movies.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So that's like, come on, you could do better than that. Other than watching.

[Zavi]

I used to do Muay Thai. I'm a former champ, so I. I do boxing. Instructing every now and then as well.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, let's see some shadow boxing. Show us some of that Muay Thai. Okay. Wow. Wow. Looks like a. A dude in a dress would beat the out of me.

[Jake Baker]

That's.

[Zavi]

That's another reason why I'm comfortable wearing this. Cuz guys have been like, yo, that's gay. I was like, I'll you up.

[Pauly Shore]

It's cool.

[Martin Malloy]

You think you can whoop him? You think you can whoop?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, no, I can't whoop him.

[Zavi]

No, he.

[Mexican OT]

He's.

[Zavi]

He'll take me down to the ground, and it'll be a good time for me. That's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think he could take you.

[Martin Malloy]

Freaky man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Freaky man.

[Mexican OT]

I just felt that someone just said, do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Zavi, what's your love life like?

[Zavi]

So I have a girl back home. Surprise.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

In Toronto. Yeah. Right now, she's wondering where all of her clothes are. Does she dress like a man? Are you guys one of those wacky Canadian couples?

[Zavi]

She's very tomboy, so, yeah. She's always on, like, Adidas tracksuits.

[Mexican OT]

Shocker.

[Zavi]

That's why I like Eric.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing. What does she do for work?

[Zavi]

She's a head chef at a Japanese restaurant.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nice. Very cool.

[Ivan Volkov]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And she cooks good food for you.

[Zavi]

Amazing food.

[Boone Blocker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. How do you contribute to the household? Savvy.

[Zavi]

Good sex?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What. What are your tricks in the bedroom? Explain to us what a girl could expect from. In a night with Zavi. First off. First off, you come in, you unravel your dress, expose that you're just a guy in an underwear and a hoodie with glitter all over it.

[Zavi]

It comes off easy. That's what.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's what that is. But then you have to spray a fire hose at their dry vaginas.

[Zavi]

That's what the head game's for, guys. You got to use the tongue. That's how you lube it up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what's.

[Zavi]

Did he just yuck at eating vagina?

[Joe Rogan]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Isn't that gay?

[Mexican OT]

You eating vagina?

[Zavi]

You're imagining me eating vagina.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Joe, what the hell?

[Mexican OT]

Sorry. You put it in my head.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Any magical moves? Do you have any big moves in the bedroom?

[Zavi]

I say I love you. That's.

[Mexican OT]

That's all the time.

[Pauly Shore]

It's.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

It's.

[Zavi]

It's it's my thing. My kink is love, so. I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, this is getting weird. Yeah, we're pulling teeth up here tonight. Zavi, what's the best gig you've ever had in all of comedy?

[Zavi]

The best gig I've had in all of comedy. This one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Perfect.

[Zavi]

This is. Yeah. This is amazing. And having you guys out here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thanks. Well, congratulations. You got pulled out of the bucket. There's a medium joke book for you, Zavi. Ladies and gentlemen.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Wait.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

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[Tony Hinchcliffe]

on to the next one we go. Who knows? One of these people may have prepared a set and might be answering questions in the interview part. Make some noise for your next bucket bowl. Nick Thomas, everybody. Nick Thomas. Here we go.

[Nick Thomas]

Oh, what's up, ladies and gentlemen, boys and E. Girls, how we doing? So I. I very recently came out to. My dad is gay. It was a big one. I know you guys have Kind of reacted the same way he did. No one was real excited about it, but it's fine because I'm not even gay. I was just trying to ruin his birthday. That was the whole goal. I just didn't like that he was having a good time. If I'm being honest, that's all it was. You guys do with that? Just mess with your parents for no reason. One time I told him that white people have no culture, just to see what he would bring up to defend, you know what he brought up?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The Civil War.

[Nick Thomas]

And I'm like, I'm so glad we're in public. So people can see you defending the Confederacy as, like, a cultural thing. You know, it's just. Just what we did. I like dealing with old white guys. My boss is an old white man. Very old, very white, very Southern, but very liberal white man. He just doesn't know how to, like, approach these topics, though. He'll just walk in and he'll be like, you know what gets me? Bothers me about these fucking homos. And you're like, oh, my God, where is he going with this? And he's like, some of their families disown them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's horrible.

[Nick Thomas]

Like, they're trying to find love just like the rest of us. And you're like, that's sweet. I'm glad you think that. That first sentence needs some work, though. That was pretty brutal. He's like, you know what pisses me off about immigrants? You're like, what? And he's like, they're coming over here for a better life, and some of them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, and what the immigrants.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is it?

[Nick Thomas]

No, it's fine.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay. Okay. So, Nick, welcome. How long you been doing stand up collectively?

[Nick Thomas]

Probably about eight years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Eight years.

[Nick Thomas]

Eight years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where at?

[Nick Thomas]

El Paso? Austin, Taylor. But mostly around Texas, but I'm trying to get around more.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where do you live?

[Nick Thomas]

Austin, right now. About to leave, though.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where are you leaving for?

[Nick Thomas]

Seattle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why Seattle?

[Nick Thomas]

I've been in Texas my whole life. I'm pretty fucking over this heat, man. Very tired and sweaty all the time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What made you pick Seattle specifically out of all the northern areas?

[Nick Thomas]

Mostly the weather, but also really just. I've always every.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're picking Seattle for the weather?

[Nick Thomas]

Yeah, dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The rainiest, cloudiest city, bro.

[Nick Thomas]

Have you ever been to El Paso? I've seen rain like, three times in my life.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Life.

[Nick Thomas]

I'm very over it. I want to see some bro gonna

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

bomb us all and kill himself over

[Zavi]

there with all that.

[Mexican OT]

Goddamn right. He neither.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What he said, you need to stay in Texas, man.

[Mexican OT]

We're gonna need a translator.

[Nick Thomas]

I wish

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

it sounded funny.

[Mexican OT]

I wish I could understand, catch a contact high so I could be on his level.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It made sense to me. I heard the kill, it'll make you want to kill yourself part. Thank you.

[Nick Thomas]

Yes.

[Boone Blocker]

I say he.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I say he going to bomb a

[Martin Malloy]

show and kill himself over there.

[Poncho]

All that.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Can we save that?

[Nick Thomas]

Obama?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can we save that to the audio file? He going to bomb a show and kill himself.

[Mexican OT]

I think he means bomb on a show and kill himself.

[Martin Malloy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, there we go.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yep.

[Nick Thomas]

Thanks, Joe.

[Mexican OT]

Thanks you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah, I love it.

[Mexican OT]

You'll be back. Dude, Seattle sucks.

[Pauly Shore]

Terrible.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really does. What do you do for a living, Nick Thomas.

[Nick Thomas]

I work at a brewery. I'm a bartender.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay. Yeah, off the glasses. I was going to guess that you design nuclear bombs, but brewery. Brewery is a whole different thing. What's that like? Tell us about that. What? What's a what? What are things people would know about working at a brewery?

[Nick Thomas]

Maybe it's all the fun of a bar, but with irresponsible parents, they're just like, oh, they have benches. We can bring our kids there. And they just get drunk and lose their kids. It's awesome.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I've seen that.

[Nick Thomas]

The one I work at has a disc golf course.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, nice.

[Nick Thomas]

And I don't know where the bodies are buried, man, but they're out there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, that's here in Austin.

[Nick Thomas]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's a brewery with a disc golf course.

[Nick Thomas]

There's several.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's it called?

[Nick Thomas]

Live Oak.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oak. Okay.

[Nick Thomas]

Live Oak Bruin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I definitely won't ever be there.

[Nick Thomas]

Don't. Yeah, don't. You'll run into Bert Kreischer. Don't do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Fun. Nick, what's your love life like?

[Nick Thomas]

It's going pretty good, actually. I'm getting divorced.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long were. How long were you married for?

[Nick Thomas]

Four years together. Eight total.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Nick Thomas]

Thanks, bud.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So why are you getting divorced?

[Nick Thomas]

Have you ever been married?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sure. Yes.

[Nick Thomas]

You know, then, no, you're not. For real. We tried the poly thing and. Don't do that. Yeah, no, don't. Don't do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Four years.

[Nick Thomas]

Yes, correct.

[Mexican OT]

You hear the girls?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ew.

[Nick Thomas]

Yeah, I wish that was my outward response when she brought it up, I would have said ew. And like. No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how soon into the marriage?

[Mexican OT]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up.

[Nick Thomas]

She brought it up, if I'm being honest. We've thought about it. It was supposed to be an open relationship. We're like, we're just going to have sex with other people. It'll be fun. And then she caught feelings for another guy and. Nah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Black guy.

[Pauly Shore]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, well, it's not the worst possible nightmare then.

[Nick Thomas]

She's Latina. She caught feelings for another Mexican dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's right. That's how it happens. That's what happens.

[Nick Thomas]

Stay with your own, I guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was this in El Paso?

[Nick Thomas]

That was here.

[Ivan Volkov]

Wow.

[Nick Thomas]

Of course it happened here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how soon after you guys got married did this come on the table? That you guys wanted an open relationship or was it pre marriage?

[Nick Thomas]

About two and a half years into the marriage.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And she brought it up. You agreed. How. How many different girls do you think you hooked up with during that time?

[Nick Thomas]

During that time, about five other women.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. And when you would just find them at the brewery or wherever.

[Nick Thomas]

No, no dating apps. There's dating apps specifically for, like poly open people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And what did you learn out there while with your wife from hooking up with these other girls? Were you enjoying it? Was it great? Was it disappointing?

[Nick Thomas]

If as long as someone doesn't catch feelings, it's fine.

[Boone Blocker]

Right?

[Nick Thomas]

But then you. This is gonna get sad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's other than.

[Martin Malloy]

Go ahead.

[Nick Thomas]

You get. You feel compared to the other people and it just doesn't matter. And you're just. And they're like, no, no, it's fine. That's why I dated other. That's why we're dating different people for different things. And you're like, so I'm not enough. And it's basically that forever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how did you find out? Did she. Was she very open and honest with you when she caught feelings for the Mexican guy?

[Ivan Volkov]

Yes.

[Nick Thomas]

Really? It was my fault.

[Jake Baker]

Go ahead.

[Mexican OT]

Music too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was your fault.

[Nick Thomas]

It's my fault. I should have just at that moment been like, hey, I'm not cool with this. I don't want to do this anymore. But just, I.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What did you say instead?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Cool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, boy. Yeah. That's a big mistake.

[Nick Thomas]

Don't be a people pleaser. Guys don't do that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right?

[Mexican OT]

Wait a minute. You think if you didn't do that, it would have worked out?

[Nick Thomas]

Oh, no. But that's definitely where it started.

[Joe Rogan]

Right?

[Mexican OT]

But is it better that it just ends?

[Nick Thomas]

Yes.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Nick Thomas]

That's why I said my love life's going great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you been dating since A little bit.

[Nick Thomas]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How's that been going?

[Nick Thomas]

Actually, pretty good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Take us through. What a date, a magical date with Nick Thomas looks like.

[Nick Thomas]

Well, we pick a brewery, and now for real, we pick a brewery. And then we just go out for some drinks. I like chatting with people. I like getting to know people. It is really weird on a lot of the apps. They want to start off with, like, I want Princess Treatment day one. And you're like, I don't know if you're worth that.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Right.

[Nick Thomas]

I want to get to know you. I want to talk.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your big line when you're trying to close after the drinks? You guys are giggling or you, like, want to come back to my place, listen to vinyls, meet my wife, and

[Nick Thomas]

say, you ever been? I'm like, you ever been poly before? Yeah. This ain't gonna work. Not really. I don't really. I'm very bad at closing the deal. I'm not gonna lie. I'll meet a girl out in public, and I'll try to be like, hey, do you want to go back to my place? And it never seems to work.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Work, really? Let's get Heidi out here. Let's see how this goes. Exactly. I want to see what this looks like. Oh, I want to see how bad of a closer you are. The great Heidi, always so bad. It's a no pressure situation. There's Heidi. This is the typical kind of girl I'm sure you match with on your dating apps.

[Nick Thomas]

Oh, totally, Totally.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm sure. It's just.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Hi.

[Nick Thomas]

Hi, Heidi.

[Jake Baker]

How are you?

[Carvana Advertiser]

I'm wonderful. How are you?

[Nick Thomas]

I'm doing good.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I really love your glasses.

[Nick Thomas]

Thank you very much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's say the date's been going great. Heidi's giggling. Heidi, give him a little. Give him a little flirtatious line so that he could maybe think that he can close with you. Let's see what happens here.

[Carvana Advertiser]

So is it going to be your place or mine?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ooh, easy setup.

[Nick Thomas]

Which is closer?

[Ivan Volkov]

Whoa.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I have no idea where you live.

[Nick Thomas]

Let's keep it that way. Let's. Your place. Let's.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

That's.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Don't put me in your basement, sir.

[Nick Thomas]

That's all right.

[Martin Malloy]

You're.

[Patrick Cassidy]

You're.

[Nick Thomas]

You. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I won't do that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, you're still trying to blow it. It's right there for you. It's all very easy.

[Nick Thomas]

Let's go back to your place. Yeah, no, that sounds great.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I don't know if I want you in my room.

[Nick Thomas]

It's all right. I'll perfect a motel.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely perfect.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I understand completely.

[Zavi]

Gotcha.

[Nick Thomas]

Shirtless. It was great meeting you. I hope you like the brewery. And

[Carvana Advertiser]

it was great, but there was all these kids running around.

[Nick Thomas]

They're Fucking nightmares. I hate it.

[Jake Baker]

For real.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I know. I agree. We should try to have kids one day.

[Nick Thomas]

No, I'm good. Still down to hook up, though, if you are. I'm just saying.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. It seems magical. I think there's something here. This. If I ever want Heidi to be murdered, I'm gonna hook you guys up. This is magical. Heidi, thank you so much. The lovely Heidi, ladies and gentlemen.

[Nick Thomas]

Thanks, Heidi. Cheers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And Nick Thomas, you're out here. You're trying your best. Here's a little joke book. Sign up again. Give us a better minute. Squeeze it all into a minute next time. There goes Nick Thomas, everybody. There he goes. There he goes. He's on his way. You know, the word poly has been mentioned a few times. Times during that set. And if you. If you accidentally say the word Paulie five times on this show, you'll never believe who magically appears. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you one of the most famous, greatest, unbelievably close friends, one of the just the brothers of comedy. Make some noise for the one and only Paulie Shore, ladies and gentlemen.

[Pauly Shore]

You guys, thank you. Thank you. I was at a restaurant recently. I asked for a fucking menu. You guys remember menus? And they said, we don't have a menu. We have a QR code. QR code. I said, I don't want a fucking QR code. I want a fucking menu with pictures on. I just smoked some weed. Like beef me. Eat fucking beef. I don't want a fucking menu.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't want a fucking Q. I

[Pauly Shore]

just jerked off on pornhub on this shit. All right, Anyways, moving right along. Okay. Speaking of Pornhub, you guys watch Pornhub? Yes. How many people love black.com? that's my favorite section. Have you guys seen Black Dot Com? No. Okay, I guess I'm not gonna do that fucking joke either. The fuck? All right, Black Dot Com. Basically, I fucked this whole thing up, bro. Shit. No. Fuck. Fuck it. Turn it off, dude. Can you. Can you undo this shit?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You want me to bring you out again?

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah, bring it out one more time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special treat for you. You'll never believe who's coming out next. I present a man that was raised in comedy clubs. His babysitters go by the names of Richard Pryor, Sam Kinison, Robin Williams, one of the all time greats, the son of Mitzi Shore. This is the one and only Ollie Shore, everybody.

[Pauly Shore]

That's what in Hollywood they call fucking Take Two. Take Two. Anyways, I tried to join Scientology Recently. You guys know Scientology? The sad part was, is they wouldn't accept me. How sad is that shit? I think I'm the only celebrity in history that the scientologists are like, we're good. Thank you. If you haven't been to the Scientology center, it's in a place called Silver Lake. Silver Lake is like a hipster community. You guys know hipsters? There's juice bars. You go into juice bars, right? You go into fucking juice bars. The cool part about the juice bar is the guy working there can look at you and tell you what juice he thinks you need based on the pigmentation in your skin. So I walked in last week, I'm like, what do you think I should get, bro? He's like, oh, fuck. He goes, brother, you can use the face melter. I'm like, what's in it? He's like, cayenne pepper, olive, oregano, lemon, ginger. It'll build up your immune system. You have aids, right? My name's Paulie, not Charlie Sheen, bro. What the fuck, bro? I just can't. I just can't. I don't know. I was watching news, bro. I fucked up. Sorry, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was great, Paulie.

[Zavi]

We loved it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What was the black.com joke? Everybody wants to know. I can feel the crowd wanting to know. You ask a lot of questions.

[Pauly Shore]

Well, black.com is a particular site on Pornhub, which is dedicated to black dudes having sex with white girls. I know that's very sensitive, but here in Texas. But we're in fucking Austin, and that fucking shit happens a lot here in this fucking little. Anyways, so what happens is basically the black guy pulls the stick. No, I don't want to do this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, come on. We want to do it. We need this. We need this call.

[Pauly Shore]

Let me see your teeth, bro. That's badass. Come on. Don't with me, dude.

[Martin Malloy]

Joe,

[Pauly Shore]

no. So. What's up, bro? Okay, so I'm gonna stand over here. I'm getting a little scared. No, just kidding. So you see, right? You seen. Have you seen it? No. Yes, yes, yes. You've seen that? Of course Red band's seen it. We're so basically, if you haven't seen it, the black guy pulls his penis out and it's fucking wild. It's fucking wild. And I'm not masturbate to it. I'm just like. I'm in shock. It's fucking crazy. It's like fly. And the white girl always grabs it and she puts it at the camera and she's like, oh, My God, it's as big as my arm. This poor girl's from Newport beach, dude. Her poor father doesn't want no fucking. 18 black guys are quadruple teaming her little child, bro. See, that's why I didn't want to do the job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And I see. I get it. I get it now. Pauly Shore. What's been going on, man? We miss you. We love you around here. Catch us up.

[Pauly Shore]

Yes, it's good to be here. Thank you guys for having me tonight. Thank you so much. I like coming here because again, get, get downstairs. There's my mom's bar dedicated to my beautiful mother, Mitzi Shore. Yeah. Started the. Right. The Comedy Store. And. And she's watching over you guys and she loves what you guys are doing. So that's why I like to come here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't know if she liked your black dot com joke though. I gotta tell ya. It's not good.

[Pauly Shore]

Not happening.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It doesn't have an alien. I don't like it, Paulie.

[Pauly Shore]

It's not happening. No, I like coming to Austin because Joe's here and the club's here and I like everyone. It's like a family community. So I like coming back once in a while and checking it out.

[Jake Baker]

So.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah.

[Jake Baker]

So it's cool. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I like this.

[Mexican OT]

We love you, dude.

[Pauly Shore]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I like this new silver fox thing you got. Oh, yes, this is new.

[Pauly Shore]

That's the thing. It's like I. I was thinking about maybe going to Walgreens and getting some. What's it called?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hair dye for men.

[Pauly Shore]

Oh, yeah, you were. Did you do that? Right? Red band? Yeah, some of it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He does, yeah.

[Pauly Shore]

So, yeah, so I'd like to get the hair dye and maybe, you know, mix it. What do you guys think? No, leave it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, they like it like that.

[Pauly Shore]

Like that. Okay, so I'll leave it like this.

[Mexican OT]

Perfect.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely perfect.

[Pauly Shore]

With the what? Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Any big projects you're working on or anything like that?

[Pauly Shore]

Yes, we just did the. The second short film for the Richard Simmons thing. Trying to get that going. Yes, I'm trying to get it going. You know what I mean? Everyone's excited except for you people. But anyways. No, I just shot that and then that's coming out soon. I have a documentary series that I've been working on for a long time and that's pretty exciting.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's the documentary about?

[Pauly Shore]

It's. I can't say.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Pauly Shore]

It's been in the works for a long time. It's been going on for about 10 years.

[Jake Baker]

Okay.

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah. And it's called Once Upon a Time in Bollywood.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Pauly Shore]

And it's like a ten part series, and the late, great Bob Saget is in it. And also. Hello. What's going on, bro? Are you cool?

[Nick Thomas]

All right.

[Pauly Shore]

And there's some great comedians in it. And great, great. My sister's in it. My sister. My brother Scott's in it, so it's cool. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, we'll keep our eyes peeled for it. Pauly Shore, we love you so much. How about a hand for the great Pauly Shore, everybody? We're just gonna keep it moving right along. We have one of our great regulars here, everybody. And boy, oh, boy, has it been a very interesting few weeks for this young man. He was just. He just spent 23 days in a Japanese prison, everybody. Very exciting stuff. And we're gonna hear all about it right now as I bring to you a man once known as the Dark Storm of Atlanta, now the Dark Storm of Austin, and the last black shogun. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the return of Dedrick Flynn, everybody. Here we go.

[Joe Rogan]

Konichiwa, bitches. They can't hold me down. Guys, I don't mean to bring down the mood. I do want to do a toast. While I was locked up, somebody very near and dear, important to me passed away. So if you got a drink, I would ask you just hold it up. Here's to a very good friend of mine. Here's cheers to Spirit Airlines. I miss my dog. Man, I thought I was in jail before, but, nigga, coming back to no spirit, nigga, $30 to go to Florida, nigga, now we gotta pay full price. Cause y' all got rid of. Nigga, I love Spirit, all right? And I know. I know a lot of y' all love customer service, but, nigga, I don't. I don't want to talk. I don't want to meet everybody on the plane. I'm already hungover or hi. Like, I don't want to say hi to every. You can't say hi to on Spirit. You walk over, they just like, go, sit down. Don't lock eyes with me. People would talk bad about spirit. They'd be like, they always fighting on spirit. Yeah, ain't no WI Fi. We gotta watch something like you. This is a good fight. And I'm over there taking over the commentary like Joe Rogan. You know what I'm saying? Like a UFC event, y'.

[Nick Thomas]

All.

[Joe Rogan]

That's my minute. I love y'. All.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Welcome back Dedrick Flynn. Well, well, well. Normally, week after Week after week, there's really. We just talk about the last place that you were on the road.

[Joe Rogan]

Got you right now. I wrote some of these jokes while I was in jail. Do y' all want to hear some of these? Kill ton.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Written in Japan, ladies and gentlemen.

[Joe Rogan]

It was a 24 hour lockdown, so I ain't had nothing to do but to be with my thoughts. And so I was just doing push ups and. Right, Joe, can I get a spotlight, please? Hey, Joe. What kind of bird don't fly? Jailbird, Come on. I just. At jail in Japan, they don't use lotion. So it's been 17 days since I used lotion. I'm ashy as fuck and it costs a thousand yen to get a bottle of lotion. And it takes seven days to get there. Nigga, I'm so white that if I was in jail in the US they would just let me go. Not because I'm white, because of who my father is. And I call him by his first name, Joe Rogan. I didn't know he was gonna be here. I was in jail. When I got arrested. I looked at the cop and I was like, you're making the biggest mistake of your lousy care. I'm so white, the people on Reddit finally like my jokes. Bitch ass nigga. I'm so white, they'd have to call me the snow storm of Austin, Texas. I'm so white, Uncle Laser would just want to smell me. I'm so white. We really doing it. Red band. It's a juice mark joke. I read 17 books in jail. Cause that's all the books they had in English. And one of them was the Bible. And I read the Bible front to back. And it's just a whole book about God putting his favorite niggas in jail. So I am a main character for Christ. Like I get some comments. Was like, I would never go to jail. Yeah, cause you too weak. God knows you kill yourself. But the devil was like, we gonna lock that nigga up in Japan. And God was like, Dedrick, he. Jail is tough, but for three summers I drove with no AC and power steering was out in the South. It's what scientists call Hotlanta if y' all ever been out there. Or as the black locals call it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, hell no.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, this one ain't got nothing to do with it. Just says, granola tastes like outside. Or a number two pencil. When you ain't studies, you just. Also, nuts are just woodberries. That's all of that is. Think you can have that One that's gonna be worth something one day. That's what it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nuts, booby woodberries. No doubt about it. What's the food like in Japanese?

[Joe Rogan]

Uh, it's like jail food. But, like, nigga, I'm so tired of teriyaki anchovies. They would just. It'd just be like a bowl of rice, like, just unseasoned, and they just put shit on top of the rice. Sometimes they'll put in one McDonald's chicken nugget.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow.

[Joe Rogan]

Like, they would. And then that's when you really realize you was in jail. I would never just have one nugget like that. Where's the rest of the. But sometimes they put, like, a cut hot dog. Just one piece of it, or like, a piece. Sometimes we got taco rice. It was just ground beef, like, whatever they call beef. It didn't look like nothing I seen before. And they would just have a couple pieces of lettuce and cheese, and we mixed that. It was jail. I thought. I. Nah, don't get me wrong. I thought, how y' all thought this nigga in there eating sushi and hibachi? Like, them niggas are just like, when did they throw the shrimp in your mouth? That's what I thought. I thought they was. But they don't do that there. They don't. They really put you in jail. Like, American jail is so much easier and nicer than Jeff. Like, the J in jail stand for Japan. He's like,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And were there other English speaking people in the Japanese jail?

[Joe Rogan]

Nigga, no. The only time I got to talk to English was talking English for anybody is when I was asleep. Like, if I had a dream, like, that's the only time I got to talk to niggas in English. That wasn't like an interpreter for the police. So they just mad at me in English, and I don't want to have that conversation. So sometimes, like, even if I was having a nightmare, I try to stop the nigga trying to kill me just so I could talk to him. And just this nigga had a gun. He was chasing me one night, and I was like, hey, bro, can we just talk for a minute before you. Because if you kill me, I'm gonna wake up and I'm going back to jail. He's like, it ain't that bad. I was like, it's in Japan. He's like, oh, nigga, tell me all. And then we just talk about Japan.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's amazing.

[Joe Rogan]

Also, I want to say thank you so much, Joe and Tony, for helping Me get a lawyer out there that was super sick of y' all and taking care of me. I cried reading that letter. That's real. Yeah, guys, the biggest. The biggest. The racist assholes over here took care of me when I was in Japan. So take that Reddit again. I fucking hate Reddit. These pussy ass, fat neck niggas. They look like pelicans on keyboards. Y' all niggas skin dry, bro. You gotta get lotion. You can't even. And that's why women's haircare products are better than men's hair. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm done doing that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's perfect.

[Martin Malloy]

Perfect.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're nailing it. Dedrick, we're so happy that you're back. And I love y'.

[Carvana Advertiser]

All.

[Joe Rogan]

Take y'. All.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dedrick Flynn, back from a Japanese jail. Could have been there for years, but instead, 23 days. Ladies and gentlemen, we're back to the bucket. We go make some noise for your next Bucket poll. It's Julia Mary, everybody. Julia Mary.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Hello. Yes, it is the Julia Mary that is Marty's next victim. I'm really happy to be here. A little bit about me. I grew up in a super strict Christian household. Then When I was 21, I took an Ancestry.com test and got diagnosed as Italian and Jewish, which was confusing. Another fun fact about me is I have something called Duane syndrome in my right eye. It's not quite a lazy eye, but it is noticeable. If I don't control it, and I've been teased for it my whole life, people called me alien eyes, freak girl, moose, pussy, you name it. But I realize if I make a joke, we can all laugh together. So I'll show you what I'm talking about. So, like, this is the normal side. Thank you. If I don't position myself correctly instead of that, people will see this. Yeah, it's worse if you don't react. Some guys are too into it. They're like, oh, my God, it's cute. I like my girls a little disabled. I will say, though, I have, like, no peripheral vision on the right, so I am the perfect girl to cheat on. Cause I can't see what you're doing on the side. Anyway, I'm Julia Mary.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Julia Mary. Welcome, welcome. So we have heard of you from Martin Malloy. He's made you famous before you were even ever on this show. This is your first time on, right?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah, it is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You live in Cleveland?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yes, I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your whole life?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nice.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Very exciting.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long you been doing standup?

[Carvana Advertiser]

About six Years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Awesome. All of it there, right? And basically hilarities.

[Carvana Advertiser]

And Yeah, I work on something called the Funny Bus, which is like a BYOB history tour of Cleveland. So it's like if your history teacher was drunk. So that's where I do a lot of my stand up, which is a good time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you driving the bus?

[Martin Malloy]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

Right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not with a. Not with an eye like that, no. It's a hard right turn we're taking. Tell us more about Dwayne Syndrome. Is that from since you were a kid?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah. So I think it's because my mom did, like, drugs probably, but, like, the muscles in one of my eyes, like, didn't fully develop, so I just like. Like I said, it's not quite a lazy eye. It's like an unmotivated eye.

[Poncho]

I don't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's D. Madness. He has the laziest eyes you've ever heard of in your life. They've never worked a white girl up here with a lazy id. Madness. Can you believe that? Look, he's just laughing. Lazy eye. That ain't shit. Six years. How do you make a living, Julia Mary?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Well, the Funny Bus and I sell World War II action figures on ebay.

[Mexican OT]

Whoa.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Now I'm interested. Interested. What type of action figures are we talking about? The good guys or bad guys or both?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Depends on who you're asking. All good guys. All good guys. I got the job because my old track coach's husband collected all the toys. But then he, like, killed himself, and so now I have this job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sorry, hold on a second. Your husband killed himself?

[Carvana Advertiser]

No, not yet. My old track coach's husband.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Old track coach's husband. And you inherited the World War II actor fashion figures?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yes, I did.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here we are. How did you end up inheriting all of this?

[Carvana Advertiser]

She knew I needed a job and knew that I didn't have a car so I could work at home. And. Yeah, it's really. I've learned a lot of. A lot of history. I learned who Dwayne Duke was. That's not the right person.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Who was that?

[Carvana Advertiser]

I'm thinking of the guy that founded the kkk, but I think that's the wrong name, which is good, because. Why would I know that? David Duke. They knew it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He was one of the action figures.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. How did he end up being a World War II action figure?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Well, they're not just all World War II, I guess.

[Mexican OT]

Hold up. When you say good guys, what do you mean?

[Carvana Advertiser]

There's soldiers from all around the country at different eras of the time. There's a lot of German soldiers. A lot of. I don't. Yeah, a lot of stuff, but not like. Like, super.

[Mexican OT]

You sell a Nazi memorabilia and I'm Jewish.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I'm like, Hitler's worst nightmare.

[Mexican OT]

That's really Jewish.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. That is very Jewish. To be making money selling action figures of the bad guys. This is really interesting. Crazy that the track coach's husband had all of these.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah. And he had, like. Like some kind of sickness. So he was like, I'm going to buy all these so you can. When I retire. When I die, you can retire on them. But I guess he just.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You can retire on racist action figures.

[Carvana Advertiser]

She surprisingly, she didn't want to sell them. And she.

[Mexican OT]

Is there a website?

[Carvana Advertiser]

It's on ebay. This isn't exactly what I came here to plug, but, hey, it's called Collector's Corner on ebay.

[Mexican OT]

Collector's Corner. And what would I look for the Adolf action figure?

[Carvana Advertiser]

I don't think I have any. Sure. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I'm glad I came on Kill Tony to promote my World War II business.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, we. We find out the most interesting things about everybody. And this is definitely something that we've never had on the show before is someone who inherited a bunch of bad guy action figures. It's kind of unheard of. There's a few collectors corners. Is there a specific one that is yours? It's got, like, a Collector's corner isn't exactly the most.

[Carvana Advertiser]

It's got, like, a book as a little icon. This is the. I should have thought of this before, I guess. But no, it's called, like, Collector's Corner. It's.

[Mexican OT]

Okay. So there's Collector's Corner, which is like a page on ebay. Yeah, right. So what's your Nazi stuff?

[Carvana Advertiser]

You're gonna have to search it. Actually, I don't have any of those listed, but if you get me a P.O. box, I'll send you one. I'll autograph it.

[Mexican OT]

So how do people contact you if they want to buy Nazi shit? How do they know you have it?

[Carvana Advertiser]

They can kind of figure out by the other stuff we have. And they kind of like, hey, do you have any Nazi stuff? And I say, yeah, and then I send it in the mail and God smiles.

[Mexican OT]

So what stuff do you have that we could find?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just a reminder. This is a Cleveland comedian, not an Austin comedian. Where you think the Internet says that we all sell Nazi memorabilia online? This seems to be it. I think Red Band found it. Do you have a vintage fireman steel helmet from the Russian German War.

[Carvana Advertiser]

No, I don't. But this is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's okay.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I'm sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're the one that sells racist action figures. I mean, don't be shocked that we're interested.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I'll send you guys a link.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah. You look like a water burger right

[Patrick Cassidy]

now, by the way, with that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Red band only sees fast food back bags.

[Jake Baker]

Thank you.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I needed humble a little bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jesus Christ.

[Mexican OT]

Red bed.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is actually an incredible analysis. You do look like someone shoved you in a whataburger bag earlier. That is iconic here. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. It's like the.

[Mexican OT]

Is this you? This stuff right here?

[Zavi]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

I found you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my goodness. There it is.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Sometimes I try to, like, put my hand in it so the guys are like, whoa, it's a hot girl selling this. Maybe you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, those are. Those are action figures. All right. Have you ever gotten a crazy request from one of the buyers? Anything ever odd happening there?

[Carvana Advertiser]

No, just very, very specific requests for, like, very specific soldiers that were Nazis, I guess. Crazy. I've asked for. People have asked me to send me all their. The Adolf Hitlers. I have. But, you know, I just tell myself it's history. But then I remember I'm Jewish and I'm like, this is funny. So it's okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is.

[Carvana Advertiser]

And I charge a lot, so it out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you have a husband?

[Carvana Advertiser]

I have a boyfriend, but his name's Kyle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, like, you know, what does that mean?

[Carvana Advertiser]

He's got what's coming to him. No, I'm just kidding. But he does have a house, so I'm playing the long game for me and Marty.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nice.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Which I do want to say, when we got here, Marty informed me, he said, just so you know, I've moved on. I like someone else. He's like, I have to lose weight before I bag her, though, so. Oh, don't let him trick you, Marty Fox.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I believe it. No, we think Marty fucks. We totally think Marty fucks. We're onto it. What does Kyle do for a living?

[Carvana Advertiser]

He works at a chocolate factory.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, this is incredible.

[Mexican OT]

This is the most misfit up night I've ever been a part of.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, the chocolate factory. I mean, these soldiers are incredible. Joe just keeps showing me Nazi soldiers. And they're like good action figures. They're like Ken dolls.

[Mexican OT]

Kind of solid. Yeah, you can pretend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Does Marty know that your boyfriend works at a chocolate factory? And if so, is that who Marty's losing weight for?

[Carvana Advertiser]

That's a really good question. I don't think Marty wants to Know much about my boyfriend? He doesn't ask, so.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So this chocolate factory, what exactly is he doing?

[Carvana Advertiser]

They make. I'm literally like Charlie in the chocolate Factory.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I think you're more like one of the Ooma Loom. But it seems like he's Charlie in the chocolate Factory. You get free chocolate?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yes, I do. Yeah. I can't love candy bars. I thought he was lying. I mean, yeah. So I sell World War II action figures and he works at a chocolate factory.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, Cleveland stuff.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah. You really sent the Autistic Avengers from Cleveland tonight with me and Marty.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is incredible. What do you like to buy?

[Mexican OT]

The Nazi, right from your page?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

170 bucks for a brand new absolute. Yeah. 179.99, actually. Oh, my God. I mean, that is a black leather jacket that guy's wearing.

[Carvana Advertiser]

You spend your years writing jokes to get a moment like this. The whole time. I could have just been showing them my action figures.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean. Yeah, it is very interesting. Sedwayne Syndrome. Does that genetic. Oh, my God. Okay, that's crazy. The bro, he's got the iron cross or whatever that is. I mean, that is a straight up actual. That's just as Nazi as it gets. My God. That is incredible.

[Mexican OT]

This is crazy that you have these in your house.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I have.

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I have a lot. It's. Yeah. I can't believe this is happening right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Julia, what's another fun fact about your life before we get you out of here? So something wild that you think is only happening.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I had an exorcism done on me when I was 18.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tell us about that. Let's go.

[Carvana Advertiser]

We were at, like, a super, super culty Christian church, and all the elders got in a circle and put vegetable oil on my forehead because I gave my boyfriend a hand job in church.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Carvana Advertiser]

But I haven't given a hand job since, so I guess it worked.

[Jake Baker]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you gave your boyfriend a hand job in church. How did the other churchgoers find out about this?

[Carvana Advertiser]

I told them. There's two got a hand job but not an exorcism.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And so they made you get an exorcism because they thought there was a demon inside of you that likes giving hand jobs?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yes. Yeah, I've been to therapy. I'm fine.

[Mexican OT]

How did the exorcism go? What did they do?

[Patrick Cassidy]

Do?

[Carvana Advertiser]

They just prayed over me a lot and then. Yeah, it wasn't really that exciting. I should have, like, projectile vomited or done something cool. But I was more just like, traumatized. But yeah, it was a good time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And they used oil?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you use oil during the hand job? Was it a dry hand job?

[Carvana Advertiser]

No, it was honestly a dry one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. And you finished them off to completion during church?

[Carvana Advertiser]

I was. We were in the. We were in the nursery at church.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whoa, whoa.

[Ivan Volkov]

Kids there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They're worri.

[Mexican OT]

This show is so up.

[Carvana Advertiser]

There weren't kids in there, I swear.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Mexican OT]

Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is all starting to make sense now.

[Carvana Advertiser]

I'm just as confused as you guys are. Okay.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, you know what, Julia? Since you're out there giving hand jobs in church, you're the first person. Bucket out of the bucket. Leaving here with a big joke. But congratulations. What does this mean, Julia Mary? Oh, there she goes. I thought I sent you off. There she goes. Julia, Mary, everybody.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Am I supposed to leave?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's it. You did good. Julia, Mary, everybody. Buy some Nazi action figures from her ebay. They are incredible. I'm actually surprised ebay allows that. That's.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mexican OT]

This is full on Nazis. Oh, like, look at this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's one former Nazi trying to sneak out of here right now. He's like, I'm gonna get out of here before they find my action figure. Look at this guy.

[Poncho]

Holy.

[Mexican OT]

He's got the cross on his neck and everything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God.

[Patrick Cassidy]

This is.

[Sponsor Announcer]

He loves it freezing. She loves it hot. The pod by eight Sleep ends the argument for good with independent temperature zones that keep both of you sleeping deeper. Try [e-mail].

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, well, as you've seen, anything can happen out of this bucket. We're gonna go back to it again. Make some noise for Ivan Volkov, everybody. Ivan Volkov.

[Ivan Volkov]

A lot of Americans don't like Maga because truth is, deep inside, they cannot stand Maggurs. I get it. They can be loud, annoying. When there's a lot of them together, it kind of looks like they're up to no good. And you know, at least one of them has gun. And it is not all of them, but, you know, it is all the time them. These Magas act like the whole system is against them before election. One of them porch flaggers invite me to Trump rally and I was like, maga, please. I don't even go to you people's side of town. I still remember when they betray Elon, they told that Maga to go back to Africa. And he was one of the good ones. Like, normal person. I drop M bomb when Tesla cut me off. But it is okay. Some of my best friends are Maggers. Recently I found out I'm one half myself. You know how I know this?

[Jake Baker]

How?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm curious. How do you know that This I don't like Nar. You don't like what?

[Ivan Volkov]

Nar. It means black person.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay. I was hoping that wasn't what you were saying. And here we are.

[Ivan Volkov]

I love them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You love them. Oh, okay. Got it. Very good.

[Pauly Shore]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ivan Volkov, this is a night of amazing bucket. PS this is all very interesting. Ivan, how long have you been doing stand up?

[Ivan Volkov]

This is a second time in 10 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Second time in 10 years. And you're from Russia?

[Ivan Volkov]

From Mexico.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay, perfect.

[Ivan Volkov]

This is Mexican Exit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the is going on? Rogan, did you put mushrooms in my coffee before this? This a real episode of this show. This Buckets out of control tonight. That's a Mexican accent.

[Ivan Volkov]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're not Russian at all. You never went there. This is just like a character you do.

[Ivan Volkov]

My father, he come after disguise of collapse of Soviet Union. He come to Mexico, meet mother, and you know you have me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's true, yes. Wow. So your dad's Russian and your mother's Mexican?

[Ivan Volkov]

They're both Mexican?

[Boone Blocker]

No,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We don't talk about that. Citizenship. Okay. You have a girl. Is that what I'm seeing? You got something in those teeth.

[Ivan Volkov]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Look at that. This is the Russian OT we have up here. Okay. Absolutely incredible. Look at that.

[Ivan Volkov]

This is very nice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

His is very nice. He's a very successful rapper.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Rapper?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He's actually Mexican.

[Ivan Volkov]

Yes, me too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, totally. Were you born in Mexico?

[Ivan Volkov]

No, I was born

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

New Mexico.

[Ivan Volkov]

San Antonio.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

San Antonio. Very good. What do you do for work, Ivan Volkov?

[Ivan Volkov]

I do electrical work.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You do what?

[Ivan Volkov]

Electrical.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Electrical, yes. Okay. How many World War II action figures do you own?

[Ivan Volkov]

About three.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

About three, yes. What do you do for fun? You seem. You have gangster energies. You have big pinky ring, big bracelet, the grill. I'm trying to figure out, what do you got going on?

[Ivan Volkov]

Got a lot of different things I like to get into. You know, I like to play cards, you know, smoke cigar, you know, take care of garbage. You know, things like that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Take care of garbage. Like you take the garbage out?

[Jake Baker]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. Wow. You have a girlfriend? Wife. What do you got?

[Ivan Volkov]

I have wife. She also comedian. Last year she got really sick and did not do, like, how you say, cooking, cleaning for three days. Oh, it was hilarious. It was very good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The what was very good?

[Ivan Volkov]

It was her joke. She not make a dinner and wash clothes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Ivan Volkov]

So. She played prank on me, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She played a prank on you?

[Ivan Volkov]

Like this? Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What happens when your wife doesn't do cook or do laundry for three days?

[Ivan Volkov]

She gets right back on top of doing that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you have kids?

[Ivan Volkov]

No. No kids.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you. Why? Why do you not have kids?

[Ivan Volkov]

So the. The winters are very hard in Mexico.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can't figure out what the fuck's going on here. I can't. This makes no sense. Is that your real accent?

[Ivan Volkov]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You really sound like that all the time?

[Ivan Volkov]

I speak like this? Yes. Mexican was my first language. This is true.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What did he say? He's got it. Oh, the band agrees. Ask him a question in Spanish, see if he answers.

[Ivan Volkov]

Yo soy de Mexico.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, well, I got that one. Wow, he's good. Wow, this is incredible. I mean, if Trump met you, he would deport you so fast. It would be crazy for so many reasons. I don't trust anything about him.

[Ivan Volkov]

Austin. Very interesting to me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tell me. Tell me about it in the street.

[Ivan Volkov]

Yes. And I think, you know, they homeless problem, big issue. Right? There is simple solution.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I cannot wait to hear that.

[Ivan Volkov]

You start advertising company. Homeless people very easy to see, right? You pretend you don't see them. That's how much you see them. So much. Right? So what you do is you see homeless man in wheelchair. You create advertisement for him. He hold advertisement and get paid. I know why I skip leg day. Why don't. Why. Why don't you join Gold's Gym? You know? Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They could be used as human billboards. Yes, yes, yes.

[Ivan Volkov]

You know, is your car dirtier than me go to car wash?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is brilliant, actually.

[Ivan Volkov]

Profit come in. You know, you say you helping homeless, right? And then you give them back. Rehabilitation. American rehabilitation. Not the, you know, Soviet style. No, no, no, no, Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, no, no, no, no. What do you do for a living? You have a brilliant, brilliant marketing mind.

[Ivan Volkov]

I do electrical.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But how do you really make your money?

[Ivan Volkov]

I've always dreamed, you know, Tony, of coming to America and making it big in advertisement with homeless people.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before. Ivan Volkov, you are one of the wackiest Mexicans I've ever met in my entire life.

[Ivan Volkov]

Gracias.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Was it crazy being raised in Mexico with such a thick Russian? American accent?

[Ivan Volkov]

I think I learned English from only movie available for me in Mexican video store.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What was that?

[Ivan Volkov]

It was sh. In Connolly Hunt for Red October.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, yes.

[Ivan Volkov]

Russian horror film. Very bad. He turned himself in at. No, no, no, no. It's very scary for me. No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Ivan Volkov]

My father do not like what's another

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

fun fact about Ivan Volkov that we'd be surprised to know about you. You have any silly, weird hobbies or any weird quirks about you or anything? Any weird habits?

[Ivan Volkov]

I do Patrick Warburton impression.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Patrick Warburton, the guy that played Julia, Louis Dreyfus's boyfriend in Seinfeld. Is that the right guy? Right? That is the most random ass impression. But let's hear it. Let's hear your Patrick Warburton.

[Ivan Volkov]

Yeah, that's right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my gosh. Wow, you are so fun. I like your style. Ivan Volkov. I got a big joke book for you. You gotta come back, sign up again sometime. The Russian Mexican American super hybrid. Ivan Volkov, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. The guy spoke Spanish. The band said he checks out as a Mexican. I don't understand it anymore. I don't even know what the is going on tonight. This is what the show is. It's crazy. Anything can happen. Make some noise for your next bucket poll. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Jake Baker. Jake Baker.

[Poncho]

Ah.

[Jake Baker]

I hate autistic people. I mean. I mean, I love autistic people, but they're like, I have. I have an autistic brother and I love my autistic brother, but I went home a couple weeks ago, and for context, my brother is 6 foot 5, 280 pounds, big dude. And I go home to visit him. I walk through the door, I go, hey, Zach, what's up? And he punches me in the face. I try to throw a punch back at him and he catches like fucking Neo. He's like. And he pins it behind my back, sweeps my leg and slams me to the ground in about five seconds. I'm screaming, I'm crying. I'm like, where the fuck did you learn that? And he just responds with Ninja Turtles. And he leans into my ear by ear. He's like. Season 3, episode 2, minute 15 Splinter teaches a Lesson that was the title episode. I hate autistic people. Oh, there we go. Oh, in there.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jake Baker. Welcome. Jake. How long you been doing stand up?

[Jake Baker]

Six years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Six years.

[Jake Baker]

Whereas at Lubbock and Austin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Is lic where you were born and raised?

[Jake Baker]

Yes. Yes, it was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What do you do for work?

[Jake Baker]

I am currently unemployed. I got laid off because of AI.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long ago did you get laid off?

[Jake Baker]

January 30th.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, how much money do you have right now?

[Jake Baker]

$43.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

$43. And when is rent due?

[Jake Baker]

The.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So like a weekish so what is your plan exactly?

[Jake Baker]

I am getting tested for sperm tomorrow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, nice. How much does that pay?

[Jake Baker]

They're giving a bonus for the screening process. $1,500.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, that's pretty good.

[Jake Baker]

That's if. That's if my sperm is good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you think it's good?

[Jake Baker]

Well, My grandfather had 14 kids. My dad has four kids, so I think. Think I have zero kids. So. But maybe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you have a chance.

[Jake Baker]

Maybe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is your rent? What is your monthly rent?

[Jake Baker]

Sixteen hundred dollars.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

$1,600.

[Sponsor Announcer]

So.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, you're just about $60 short.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And that is if the sperm is fully operational. Is this your first time selling your sperm?

[Jake Baker]

Yes, but I don't think I'm going to donate. Just do the check the sperm part because that's where you get the bonus. You don't. You don't have to keep donating. Just get tested. If your sperm's good, they give you the bonus.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't really get it, but okay.

[Jake Baker]

I don't either. It's just what the website told me and I'm really banking on the 1500 dollars.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's extra money though, if you do it.

[Patrick Cassidy]

You know, the sperm part of it.

[Ivan Volkov]

Right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're not donating sperm, are you? There's no way you're. I used to. I used to scoop it in a container.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Red band, everybody. Yeah, that's the great contributor. Red Band. Okay. So Jake, what do you. What do you do for fun and stuff? Like, tell us about your actual life?

[Jake Baker]

I like to swim a lot. Roller skate. I paint figurines.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of figurines are you painting?

[Jake Baker]

Warhammer 40K. That's what I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's that?

[Jake Baker]

It's kind of a post apocalyptic universe where AI took over and then humanity killed all the AI so that humans took over the galaxy. It's a lot of space racism. That's the franchise. Space racism.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Where do you do this swimming at?

[Jake Baker]

Mainly my apartment. Barton Springs, whatever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Your apartment. Oh, you have a pool in your apartment?

[Jake Baker]

Yeah, that I still have. Currently. I still have the apartment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep. Yep. Hopefully those sperm can swim as good as you can.

[Jake Baker]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You won't have the apartment anymore. More. What's your love life like?

[Jake Baker]

I have a girlfriend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have a girlfriend?

[Jake Baker]

I do have a girlfriend.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where'd you meet her?

[Jake Baker]

At Bumble.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, what was the first date?

[Jake Baker]

We made out and we watched a horror movie in my apartment.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What was the horror movie? Hunt for Red October.

[Jake Baker]

No, it was Evil Dead 2.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, that's an interesting movie to Show a girl on a first date.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah. She said not to show horror movies and I just forgot it. And we just made out. It was a great first date. It's been about three years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What does she do?

[Jake Baker]

She works for the student abroad office at a university.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you live with her?

[Jake Baker]

No, we live one floor apart.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She above you?

[Jake Baker]

She's below me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why do you guys live so close but not together?

[Jake Baker]

We both have parents who would murder us if we, like, moved in together before we get married. That type of thing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

O. Yeah.

[Jake Baker]

They. They believe in. I believe in Jesus, but they believe in more Jesus.

[Zavi]

Right.

[Jake Baker]

That's how it goes.

[Joe Rogan]

To Jesus.

[Jake Baker]

Sorry. Yeah, yeah, more Jesus.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Super Jesus.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah, super.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like Texas. That makes sense. What job did AI replace that you had.

[Pauly Shore]

Had?

[Jake Baker]

Well, technically it was another area in my department, but I guess legally they have to just get rid of a broad spectrum of people. Not to get sued or whatever, but I was a project coordinator. I did installation projects for it. AV projects like network racks, cabling, things like that. That was the coordinator for all that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And how did they let you know that you're getting fired?

[Jake Baker]

They put a random meeting calendar at 8am and then said, hey, this is not based on performance, but you're gone. You're fired. Fired?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They told you at 8:00am?

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah, it sucked.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And they. You. They sent you off immediately?

[Jake Baker]

Pretty much. And it sucks. They just got a new apartment, which was more rent, so that really sucked. I was really counting on the money part.

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah.

[Jake Baker]

To keep going because I was pretty good at my job.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. So what's your plan now?

[Jake Baker]

The sperm thing? Yeah, I got an interview tomorrow to be like a VR robot technician. Like, we're like, I control a robot. That's cool. Yeah. Apparently it's for, like, to send the robot out to, like, do emergency stuff. Like if there's a. Like, if house is on fire or whatever. They send the robot in. Oh, wow. So I guess I'm gonna control it for training purposes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Jake Baker]

Doing that. And I have, like, just a shit ton of interviews lined up. Hopefully I get one of those. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jake, do you really hate autistic people?

[Jake Baker]

No, I love them. I've just been around them my whole life, like my brother and other special needs people. But they are profoundly. They're huge assholes. Profoundly. All of them. They're very mean people. And they're never, like, aware of their own annoyances because they're all annoying. But they all. They're always annoyed at Each other. Mm. Like, I remember, like, one kid, he had this thing where he would, like, constantly shout, like, tits and fuck. He would just shout it all the time.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yeah.

[Jake Baker]

And another person.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Redbuddy?

[Jake Baker]

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. And my brother hates this guy. And they would constantly just walk away from each other. I'm like, yeah, but, Zach, you constantly just flick your finger and flip people off all the time. That's what my brother does. He just does this all the time with his finger. And he's always like, why are people always mad at me? Like, maybe you stop flipping them off and punching them in the face. I think that would help.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Got it.

[Jake Baker]

I think that would help a lot. But my girlfriend's also black. I know you like that stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, really?

[Poncho]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. That is very interesting. That leads to a whole another line of questioning. Yeah, that. That really sets me up for success here. I do like that stuff, which is stuff that is different than normal.

[Nick Thomas]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I was picturing a white girlfriend this entire time. A boring, Christian white girlfriend.

[Jake Baker]

Kind of love me. It's kind of weird.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That makes sense. Why do you think that is?

[Jake Baker]

I think I have, like, this appearance that they could, like, beat me in a fight.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yeah.

[Jake Baker]

Type of thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you showed a black girl Evil Dead 2.

[Jake Baker]

Not the best thing, I would say, but it worked. It worked.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Have you been with other black women before?

[Jake Baker]

Yeah, all my life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. So you prefer black women over white women?

[Jake Baker]

No, I like all women, but it's just black women just come up to me and they're like, hey, I like you. And I'm like, oh, okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Jake Baker]

And I take their number or whatever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What have you noticed is a difference between black women and white women in the bedroom?

[Jake Baker]

Bedroom. Mm. Sorry to my mom, who believes in bigger Jesus. But I think they're just nicer. I think white women that I've dated are just mean. They're very mean.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Jake Baker]

And they like gross stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Like what?

[Jake Baker]

Like, just, like, derogatory things. Like they want you to, like, be mean to them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right.

[Jake Baker]

I don't really like that.

[Joe Rogan]

That.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No. You like being nice?

[Jake Baker]

I like nice. I like horrifying them with a horror movie and then we touch their boobs. That type of thing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but that's the answer. That is the true answer.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah. I will say I've been trying to get back on this show for four and a half years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You've been on this show a long time ago.

[Jake Baker]

Years ago. I've signed up every week since for

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

four and a. Wow.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's incredible.

[Jake Baker]

I think I have the record. Sign up like 215 times, something like that. And not getting on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That might be. That could easily be. That is another interesting fun fact you're getting. Giving great interview facts. Deep into this interview.

[Jake Baker]

I have a lot of. I've had 10 concussions.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a lot of black women you've been with.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How'd you get 10 concussions, man?

[Jake Baker]

That being a dumbass. You think like sports and shit. But no, I remember once like the garage door is opening and I was. I was. I just got dumped at the time. It was high school. And I got out of the car, I was running to the garage because I just got Grand Theft Auto 5.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You were very excited.

[Jake Baker]

I wanted to kill some people. That type of thing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Jake Baker]

Anyways, the garage door opens and I run at it and I forget to duck my head and it just pancakes me. And I wake up maybe an hour later, I've like blood in my ears or whatever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Jake Baker]

And I'm like, ah, I just gotta play Grand Theft Auto. I didn't even like think about my head. I just went. Put Grand Theft Auto for five hours. My mom came home like, where's all. Why is all this blood here?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Jake Baker]

And I didn't have anything to tell her.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Amazing.

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you sure you've signed up every week for four and a half years?

[Jake Baker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, Jake, keep doing it. Here's a medium sized joke book. We'll get you back up here again. Maybe another four and a half years of signing up and you'll be up to here in no time. Thank you, Jake.

[Sponsor Announcer]

He loves it freezing. She loves it hot. The pod by eight sleep ends the argument for good with independent temperature zones that keep both of you sleeping deeper. Try [e-mail].

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The bucket has a mind of its own. This looks like an interesting name. Make some noise for Boon Blocker, everybody. Boone Blocker. Here we go. It's a Boone Blocker, everybody.

[Boone Blocker]

Hell yeah. Normally I have to follow some ugly male comedian to the stage, but I had to get to follow Heidi this time. So that was pretty cool. Should have that up.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Whoa.

[Boone Blocker]

No. With this golf shirt from the waist up, I look like I was driving the Tiger Woods. From the waist down, it looks like I was driving to Tiger Woods. Hell yeah. There we go. Now when people see me, they ask me a lot of stupid questions. One girl was like, are you sure you don't have sleep paralysis? I was like, you dirty bitch, I have paralysis paralysis. No I do like to use the dating app for people who can't walk.

[Mexican OT]

Well.

[Boone Blocker]

Well, it's called Stumble. Just me and Governor Abbott on there. No, I don't support Governor Abbott. I just voted for him five or six times. And I know. I hooked up with a real girl and she put her finger in my ass. I didn't even know until she told me later.

[Mexican OT]

Dead ass.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Boom.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Blocker. Welcome to the show. This is your. This is your first time on. Correct.

[Boone Blocker]

First time. Long time signer upper. First time being here, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. How long have you been signing up for? Sporadically.

[Boone Blocker]

Like over four years. Like, over 50 times I saw. First one I saw live was with Mr. Rogan here and Jet Ski Johnson over at the Vulcan, so.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nice.

[Boone Blocker]

Been signing up a lot since then.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Welcome, welcome. How long you been on Stand Up Up?

[Boone Blocker]

Well, not the standup part, but I've been. I've been doing comedy a little over three years now, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Three years. So all of it here in Austin?

[Boone Blocker]

Yeah, for sure. It's a lot of fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So what happened to you? What are I in the chair?

[Boone Blocker]

A car accident.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long ago was that?

[Boone Blocker]

No, it was actually a game of musical chairs, and I won forever.

[Joe Rogan]

No,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

how long ago was the car accident?

[Boone Blocker]

When I was 24.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

24. Was that your fault?

[Boone Blocker]

Yeah, it was my fault.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What happened?

[Boone Blocker]

I fell asleep when I was driving home and.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Had you been drinking or anything?

[Boone Blocker]

Yeah, but thankfully my alcohol. Blood alcohol level is below the legal limit, you know, so I didn't hamstrung up by the police, you know?

[Mexican OT]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. So, Boone, so you got into the accident at 24. How old are you now?

[Boone Blocker]

48.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

48.

[Boone Blocker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. And what do you like? What do you do? What. What do your days consist of? Well, Red band. Red band. Come on. Red band.

[Boone Blocker]

Here's the thing. Normally when you hear that sound, it's getting another one of my kind in one of those vehicles. But not me.

[Pauly Shore]

Me.

[Boone Blocker]

Red band. Not me. All right, Another swing and a miss. There we go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're good. Boone, stick with the question here. What do you do for fun?

[Boone Blocker]

Oh, fun. I like to go to football games. Texas football games.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nice.

[Boone Blocker]

Yeah. Yeah, I got. Last time I went to a game or last year, I mean, I. This was like a real girl, you know, like a walker. And so, like, I was getting. I said it. I used to be one of you, so. I know. No, I was getting set up with this girl, and it turns out that her husband was actually the one that cheated on her and broke up the marriage. Was also in a wheelchair. And I just started laughing hysterically. And, you know, equality.

[Jake Baker]

So.

[Boone Blocker]

God damn. It started so well. And no, no. I go to football games, watch my nephew a lot. A lot of comedy. Sign up a lot. Try to get up as much as I can.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's fun.

[Boone Blocker]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Boon, you have a girlfriend.

[Boone Blocker]

I do not.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What are dates like with you? What? What? What can people expect?

[Boone Blocker]

My favorite thing to.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Red band. Behave yourself. Sorry, Boon. Go right ahead.

[Boone Blocker]

Redban. You keep mocking me like that, you'll be using one of those vehicles as soon. Soon, Soon. Redbubble. What's a date? Like me, my favorite thing to do is I match with the girl on Bumble. And then I only send her pictures from the waist up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Boone Blocker]

And then show up in my chair to see how charming I can be before she throws me out of the establishment.

[Joe Rogan]

No.

[Boone Blocker]

That's a lot of fun. I don't really do that. Fuck.

[Ivan Volkov]

Sh.

[Boone Blocker]

Sorry. But it is fun to think about.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Boone, what's the worst set you've ever had? What did that feel like?

[Boone Blocker]

Holy shit. It felt worse than when I got paralyzed. I bombed so bad.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you remember where it was and what it was?

[Jake Baker]

Absolutely.

[Boone Blocker]

I can tell you what date it was. No, I was at the creek in the cave. And. Yeah. So the guy. They have a steep ramp. And so to get up the ramp, I have to like pop a wheelie to get started, you know. And the guy was like, I'm right behind you. He wasn't behind me. I didn't fall or anything. But then I get up. The host got my name wrong. I went off on that tangent. And then I totally forgot the Walk up song. I had the sound guy played Jesus Walks by Kanye West.

[Zavi]

Damn.

[Boone Blocker]

But it was. It was going so bad that I totally forgot the song and went downhill from there. Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And downhill is not good for a guy like you.

[Boone Blocker]

Tony. Downhill is the best thing for me. It's the fucking uphill.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is true uphill stuff that gets me. Boone, I like your style. I'm giving you a big joke book. Boone. It's coming at you.

[Martin Malloy]

Appreciate it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here you go. I'm gonna land it right on there. Bing bong.

[Martin Malloy]

Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I up.

[Boone Blocker]

Hit me in the legs. Didn't feel a thing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Perfect. Perfect. How about a hand for the lovely Heidi, everybody? Believe it or not, she's going to lift him down those stairs. That's right behind there. Very strong. Let's get one more bucket. Pull up here, everybody. Your final bucket. Bowl of the Night goes by the the name, one word name of Poncho, everyone, it's Poncho.

[Poncho]

What up, Austin? How we doing tonight? Nice. Nice. 28 years old, and it's the year of me getting to know myself sexually. All right, 20 years old, a couple nights. Prove it. 28 years old. I took a girl back home a couple nights ago and you know, we were going to my apartment. The first thing she did when we walked through, she pushed me against the wall. First off, didn't know I liked that. Did not know we started making out and it was fun and all that and she started rubbing up on my body and then she got to my chest and like she accidentally cupped my tits. All right. I don't know if you had a stranger in your household cup your tits, but it's a fucking rush. I promise you that.

[Patrick Cassidy]

That.

[Poncho]

And I'm drunk. I'm like, let's just see where the night goes it. Let's see what you got. And she looked in my eye, she was just. You like that? You like that? I was like, get the off me. What the. And it sucks, cuz I did enjoy it a lot. Thank you. I'm just going to end off on that. Let's. That's my time, guys. Appreciate you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. Poncho, how long have you been trying stand up?

[Poncho]

Three years now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Three years. And that's it, huh? Just a chick throwing you up against the wall, grabbing your tits.

[Poncho]

I mean, I just. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You really are 28.

[Poncho]

Yeah, 28.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And what do you do for work?

[Poncho]

I'm door dasher.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ooh.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah.

[Zavi]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Are you good at it?

[Poncho]

Got a 4.8 rating, so I'm pre.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

4.8 is pretty solid. What do you think happened to that? Point two on your DoorDash. What do you think people would criticize about your doordashery?

[Poncho]

It's my time. Time. I'm a little late.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You are.

[Poncho]

Smoke a couple splits before I drop at the order. So that's okay.

[Pauly Shore]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like you'd smoke a lot more than that.

[Poncho]

Okay. What the fuck?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, you don't know what you look like. Shocking to you.

[Poncho]

You say tortilla.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tortilla.

[Poncho]

Oh, I thought you said I smoked tortillas. Like that's fucking okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, I didn't. I didn't say anything about a tortilla. Whatever you're hearing right now. Now is wild. So, Poncho, where have you been doing standup the last three years? All of it here in Austin?

[Poncho]

Yeah, all here. Austin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is this where you're From.

[Poncho]

No, I'm actually from California. San Jose, California.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long ago did you move here?

[Poncho]

Moved here three years ago, February 28th.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What made you want to move here three years ago?

[Poncho]

Took like five grams of mushrooms.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And the mushrooms told you to move to Austin?

[Poncho]

Yeah, they told me just leave everything you love behind and just go to Austin. Just fulfill your dream. Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. How's it worked out for you so far?

[Poncho]

It's pretty good. I like it. I mean, I'm getting up on spots here and there, you know, still trying to work my way up, but it's. It's been fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Mm, yeah. Tell us about that process. Tell. Tell the humans listening. What? Open miking in Austin, Texas is like.

[Poncho]

So you come, you know, you come to Austin and you're like, damn, everything is gonna fucking happen here. And then you do open mics, like, holy, I might be homeless, but by the end of this, this is crazy. And then, you know, you just got to weave your way through all the crazy people and then you finally find some people that are sane, funny, and then you kind of just, you know, go from there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is your living situation?

[Poncho]

I got four roommates.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many bedrooms for four bedrooms? Okay, so you have your own bedroom. How many bathrooms?

[Poncho]

Four.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. This is a very luxurious apartment. A four bathroom, four bedroom apartment apartment.

[Poncho]

It's in the ghetto. So that's probably why I had it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right. What's your rent? What's your monthly rent?

[Poncho]

So it starts at 2300, but we split it all the way through, so we're paying like 575.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, that's fantastic. We have a guy that might be moving in there real soon if his sperm doesn't work properly. You're going to be squeezing five into a four bedroom apartment. Incredible. So doordashing is your only source of income. You have any side hustle?

[Poncho]

Security on the side?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Security?

[Poncho]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What type of security are you doing?

[Poncho]

You know, I do raves.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, you do. You do look like a security guy at a rave. Hell yeah.

[Poncho]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, how about for fun, tell us more about you, your personal life.

[Poncho]

Like to, you know, just talk to random strangers for fun. And sometimes they really don't like it. They're like, just leave me alone off. Yeah, but then once in a while you get a real hard, heartfelt conversation like, damn, I'm kind of a piece of this is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you mean?

[Poncho]

Like just. They just make you realize like, damn, I'm not doing enough in the world.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Give us an example.

[Poncho]

Talk to this lady the other Day she was at Planet Fitness, she was like, yeah, I come to the gym and then I go straight to church to clean up the entire church. Like, literally just the made for the church.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm like, damn, I love even the nursery. Does she clean the nursery at the church? Because that's where the real messes are nowadays. I don't know if you know about the this. There's hand jobs, exorcisms with vegetable oil. There's a lot going on. Churches be crazy now. Is Poncho your real name?

[Poncho]

My real name is Francisco, but my whole life just been Poncho.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why does everybody call you Poncho?

[Poncho]

I don't know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have no idea how you got the name?

[Poncho]

I just heard it from when I can remember it. And I was like, that's just my name. I'm going to go with it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of car do you have, Poncho?

[Poncho]

Got a Chevy Cruz 2011.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

2011 Chevy Cruze.

[Poncho]

I don't know why I said that with so much confidence, but yeah, I got a Chevy Cruise 2011.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why do you stick with doordashing and not uberxing?

[Poncho]

Just out of curiosity, because my passenger seat belt doesn't work.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ah, yeah.

[Poncho]

Fat guy got an accident there and it just exploded. I was like, okay, this is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Don't blame it on a fat guy. But no, it is.

[Poncho]

I have to, bro. Cuz I bought the car from him and he, like, tried to act like. Like, it worked. I was like, all right, this is a working seat belt. But he's just fat. He was the one that got an accident. I was like, oh, you scammer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He got into an accident and he broke that seat belt.

[Poncho]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Wow.

[Pauly Shore]

It's his car.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why would he be in the passenger side of the car?

[Poncho]

I was buying it from him. So he was like, yeah, we could test drive it real quick. And I, yeah, that's why he was in the passenger side.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm confused on this Joe Rogan.

[Poncho]

Is that confusing? That's my fault. Is that confusing? That's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why would the guy who owns the car break the seatbelt belt if he was driving it and it was on the passenger side?

[Poncho]

Oh, I didn't ask him in that

[Mexican OT]

story, but I'm assuming everybody needs Marty's doctor. These motherfuckers get him on trepasepatite or whatever the fuck it was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think that's it. We have to have a pharmacist right out the other side of the curtain from now on. Pancho, give us one more crazy fun fact about your Life.

[Poncho]

Fun fact. All right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you think makes you different than everybody else? You have a weird childhood or anything crazy?

[Poncho]

Anything cra. I mean, it. It. It is what it is. I've had chlamydia eight times.

[Clarence Clam Clap]

What?

[Boone Blocker]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here we go.

[Poncho]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, only. Only deep into the interviews tonight am I really getting anything. Everyone clams up for the first seven minutes, and then all of a sudden I'm like. Anything else? Any interesting? I bet curable.

[Poncho]

It's okay. It's curable. All right, You.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So how the do you get it eight times? Is it this from the same girl, perhaps?

[Poncho]

Three times were from the same girl. For sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Poncho]

But then the rest were just like, I'm just having fun. No rubbers needed, you know?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where do you tend to meet these girls?

[Poncho]

Oh, this is all San Jose, California, right here.

[Ivan Volkov]

Ah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

At raves. Are you working security? What's going on?

[Poncho]

No, this is. This is some hood, I'm not gonna lie. Some hood for sure.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

When you say hood, you mean.

[Poncho]

Yes. Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ah, the. The thick Latina ladies.

[Poncho]

I like how you knew right away. Like, I know what side you're talking about, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Mexican OT Definitely knows. He's lived that life.

[Poncho]

Yeah.

[Mexican OT]

Eight times is wild.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Eight times is a lot. Never had it once. And I do massage part parlors. Like, that's crazy.

[Poncho]

That's.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I don't think you can get them.

[Poncho]

That's more like Asian hand jobs. Syphilis right there.

[Patrick Cassidy]

Jobs.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a wild one tonight. It's proof that the show is real, though. It makes. Makes it so that when there's an episode that's unbelievably entertaining the whole way through, you're like, man, this shit's real, dude. I want. I remember that one episode where there was 11 insane bucket pulls in a row. Poncho, eight times. So do you just keep antibiotics on you all the time now?

[Poncho]

I got a penicillin guy. I got him. Yeah, got him unlocked.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Incredible. Well, good luck. We are giving you a. We are giving you a medium joke book. There you go, my friend. Poncho. Ladies and gentlemen, it has indeed been a crazy episode. There's only one way to end an episode like this, everybody. We have a regular here who is a absolute machine, Ladies and gentlemen. He is the real deal. This is Pat o', Neal, ladies and gentlemen. Folks, June is pride month. Yeah, and thank God, since queers are so lowkey the rest of the year. Glad to finally be learning about him. Just last week, I met a non binary black girl. Her Pronouns were she, it. Okay, That took a second. Got an Amber Alert earlier. Really not appropriate for something to vibrate that hard to let you know a kid's being. Things always scare the shit out of me until I see they're looking for somebody else.

[Joe Rogan]

And

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

now, fun fact about those, because of, like, divorce and custody disputes, parents themselves are actually the perpetrators in 90% of all criminal kidnapping cases and the other 10%, Puerto Ricans. So fascinating stuff. I love numbers. Okay, thank you. Pat o' Neill has done it again. Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. You would think other people would do that throughout this episode, but know only Pat o' Neal did the joke after joke after joke thing. Very interesting approach. We almost forgot what it was like.

[Martin Malloy]

Jokes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, it's incredible. People. Some people did this eight years. Some people did it four, Three years I've written down here, and nobody did that. Nobody did one joke after the other, just like that. N. I agree with Joe. They need Martin's medicine. And yeah, yeah, it's incredible. It's a wild1. Mexican OT. Hell yeah. American low TE. He is the man. He is the man. Pat o' Neal is the real David. I had to say it before Joe did. That was incredible. Incredible. Pat, what else is going on in life? Everything else good? Yeah, you know, I love it.

[Martin Malloy]

Chilling.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Getting the shows together for, like, July and August, so. Hell yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Boone Blocker]

Easy week.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You will be with us in August, August 7th and 8th, you will be performing at Madison Square Garden two nights in a row. And you will be with us in November in Las Vegas where we do the MGM Grand Dolby Live theater. And of course, you'll be with us New Year's Eve here in Austin. Don't make any plans. New Year's Eve, you'll be doing arenas with us here. So, I mean, you were just killing it, man. Let the record show, for anybody who's watching this, that does stand up comedy. That's what to do. Don't ask the audience questions. Don't. Who gives a what they think? Exactly. How you guys doing? You having a good night tonight? Nobody cares. Cares. Just do jokes. I mean, you are just a absolute perfect specimen every single week, time after time after time. The only person other than Dedrick that has to do this every single week. And meanwhile, you guys shine out of the pile of all of these different comedians. It's incredible what's going on with you, and we're happy to showcase it. The great Pat o', Neill, ladies and gentlemen. Amazing, wild episode tonight. Crazy, crazy stuff. Guys, how about one more time for Joe Rogan in that Mexican ot, huh? So much fun. One more time for the best damn band in all the land. Red Band. I'll be in San Diego at the American Comedy Company with, with Pat O' Neill and Angie Stroud July 9th through 11th. And yeah, like I said, Madison Square Garden, Las Vegas, and and of course, Austin, Texas, here on New Year's Eve. Guys, we love you. We did it. God bless America. Wild episode. Thanks for joining us. We love you guys. Good night, everybody. Sam. Wide awake in her whiskey hole.