MADISON SQUARE GARDEN (NIGHT ONE) - JOE ROGAN + SHANE GILLIS

Summary

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Kill Tony: Madison Square Garden (Night One)

Special Guests: Joe Rogan + Shane Gillis

Date: September 7, 2024 | Location: Madison Square Garden, NYC

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Episode Overview

This monumental episode of Kill Tony marks the show’s first-ever performance at the iconic Madison Square Garden. Host Tony Hinchcliffe is joined by Redban, the band, and special Austin-based guests Joe Rogan and Shane Gillis. The night is supercharged with legends of comedy, Kill Tony regulars, first-timers, and surprise guest appearances—culminating in an unforgettable, absolutely unfiltered celebration of stand-up comedy at its most raw, chaotic, and electric.

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Key Segments & Highlights

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1. Opening & Significance of the Night (01:10–06:32)

• Tony Hinchcliffe and Brian Redban set the tone, reflecting on Kill Tony’s humble beginnings performing for 15 people to now selling out MSG.
• The night’s house band features Groove Line Horns, Marcus King, and others, with high-energy intros and an excited NYC crowd.
• Special guests Shane Gillis and Joe Rogan introduced to roaring applause.

Tony Hinchcliffe: "We started this show in front of 15 human beings... And now we are here live from Madison Square Garden. Unbelievable." (01:30)

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2. Andrew Dice Clay: A Legend Opens (06:32–18:56)

• First up from the "Legends Bucket": Andrew Dice Clay.
• Delivers a vintage, no-filter set: modern social media, DM jokes, elevator awkwardness, and increasingly outlandish and explicit material lampooning dating, OnlyFans, MeToo, and road-comic life.

Dice Clay, on social media connection:
"Let me tell you something. We hate each other. We don't want to be together." (08:42)

• Ends with a signature “Dice” bit—advice to new comics about the brutal realities of the road—and a wild, unrepeatable closer.

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3. The Buckets — Stand-Up, Chaos, & Crowd Riffs

Bucket Pull #1: Corey Albert (20:09–25:18)

• Jumps into dark, edgy material with a 9/11/Holocaust dating joke.
• Visibly nervous, confesses it’s the most people he’s ever performed for.
• Panel roasts him about living in Connecticut, dating woes (cheated on by a closeted gay man), his Mustang, and lack of excitement in life.

Legendary Spot: Jared Nathan (26:14–33:16)

• Toronto comic with a stutter; delivers a set that veers into wild territory.
• Sincerely thanks the show for representing comics with disabilities.
• Presents Tony with the "Hard R Award" for his inclusive spirit.

Jared Nathan: “You live a dream of telling jokes.” (32:49)

Bucket Pull #2: Alex Philkov (34:09–39:14)

• Philadelphia college kid, gets overwhelmed and booed.
• Admits to driving a BMW, studying business, and plays up his unlikability with self-deprecation.
• Crowd, panel, and Alex play with the tension in real-time; classic Kill Tony “kill or be killed.”

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4. New York Legends — Shaking the Rafters

Big Jay Oakerson (40:20–43:13)

• Kills with personal material about his daughter dating, racial tension, and risks of being a comic labeled as racist.
• Classic edgy punchlines, expertly walks the line between offense and charm.

"I hope it's a boy with a strong black name like Germany." (42:01)

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5. More Buckets, Panel Riffs, & Freaks Unleashed

Tyler Matthews (44:00–51:12)

• Jehovah’s Witness-to-military stand-up; bit about “bombing every single door.”
• Confesses to balloon animals and clown work, panel rags on his fashion and friend-zone dating life.

Ari Matti (Regular Spot, 52:55–56:42)

• “Estonian Assassin”—crushes with a set about American homelessness and the immigrant grind.
• Explains his whirlwind trajectory from Estonian newcomer to opening for Rogan in the US.

Casey Rocket (86:13–92:48)

• Signature surreal, high-energy set—madcap bits, hat tricks, zany riffs (“physically fast, spiritually Latino”).
• Ends by tossing his “wedding ring” into the crowd where a random audience member catches it in his mouth (“Amanda Pandemonium”)—spontaneous and magical.

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6. Showcase Sets from Comedy Monsters

Jim Norton (67:17–71:51)

• Surgical, unflinching material on Jerry Sandusky, male ego, and the awkwardness of talking to kids.
• Closes with an abortion anecdote rooted in personal history—uproarious, unafraid.

Jim Norton: "I don't even like children as friends... If you have kids...I'm not gonna ask you to keep them in the yard, but don't leave me alone with your child." (68:06)

Ron White (80:12–84:33)

• Signature laidback delivery; stories about accidental gaydar, being blown by a guy in a gas station, and the logic of gayness vs. straightness.
• Praises Kill Tony for democratizing access to stand-up.

Ron White: "Kill Tony has put a reach out there... Not only that, but because of the Mothership...We have something to do with those people, once we find them." (83:34)

Louis J. Gomez (99:18–101:26)

• Go-for-broke, physical set about eating pussy, Michael Douglas, and cancer commercials.

Harlan Williams (102:52–104:59)

• Announces he has Lyme disease, sets up “outrageous joke” that can’t be finished due to Lyme brain fog—absurd, meta, and unexpectedly earned a big laugh.

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7. Standout Newcomers & Regulars

Jason King (105:38–110:05)

• New York comic with a big pop; jokes about pandemic, anti-vax “Jim Crow laws,” plays guitar—impresses audience with multi-talents.

Cam Patterson (110:49–116:30)

• “First time in New York” regular, delivers acerbic, laugh-out-loud observations on NYC’s “melting pot” myth, local rudeness, and run-ins with giant rats.
• Banters with Tony about deodorant theft and “the recharge.”

David Lucas (139:08–144:50)

• Hall of Fame regular, fiercely funny bit about eating out a woman in a cancer ward: “chemotherapy pussy,” “like a manatee’s back.”
• Epic roast exchange with Tony, Shane, and Joe; rapid-fire, no holds barred.
• Drops hard jokes at everyone on the panel, keeping the crowd in stitches.

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8. Wild Moments & Signature Lines

• Corey Albert, after being grilled: “Performing at Niagara Falls is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to you in your life.” (24:46)
• Alex Philkov, after being booed: “Apparently my personality.” (38:27)
• Casey Rocket: “If you guys could get out of here, I’d like a moment alone.” (89:31)
• Jared Nathan (giving Tony the “Hard R Award” for championing inclusion): “You do huge community. You open up doors to everybody disabilities.” (32:49)
• Cam Patterson, On New York: “I was on the subway today and I seen a rat eating a homeless nigga.” (111:59)

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9. Closing Spectacle

Dr. Phil (Adam Ray) (120:32–137:24+)

• Tour de force as "Dr. Phil"—roasts everyone from Brian Redban (“How does your whole body look like a fupa?”) to Tony, Hans, and the band.
• Impressions of Ray Romano, Nicolas Cage, Joe Biden, ends with a resoundingly silly “Biden sees a lollipop” bit.
• Special surprise: Adam Ray himself is inducted as the first guest Hall of Famer in Kill Tony history.

William Montgomery (146:06–151:15)

• “King of Queens”—deadpan, absurdist, riffs on staying at the wrong hotel, WNBA, French Olympics, and heckles someone leaving (“Somebody kill those two. I’m having the set of my life up here right now.”)
• Tony and William banter about the correct name: “It’s not plural, William. It’s Madison Square Garden.”

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Notable Quotes & Bits

• Andrew Dice Clay: “We don’t want to be connected. … Greatest feeling in the world.” (08:42)
• Jim Norton: “I just don’t understand that desire [for kids]. I don’t even like children as friends.” (68:06)
• Ron White: “If you’re a gay guy, you like dick, and you have a dick. Perfect, right?” (81:51)
• Louis J. Gomez: “I love eating pussy so much that even if I got cancer, I would still continue to do it.” (99:45)
• Hans Kim: “My girlfriend is in Europe. She’s so good at staying loyal to me here, she decided to take it on the road.” (63:13)
• Casey Rocket: “Physically fast, spiritually Latino.” (86:44)
• David Lucas: “Wax pussy ain’t got shit on chemotherapy pussy. Nigga, that is the smoothest pussy in the world.” (140:14)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:10 – Epic opening & crowd warm-up
• 06:32 – Andrew Dice Clay: Opening Legend Set
• 20:09 – Corey Albert: First Open Mic Bucket Spot
• 26:14 – Jared Nathan: Toronto Golden Ticket Winner
• 34:09 – Alex Philkov: Philly College Kid Faces the Boo Birds
• 40:20 – Big Jay Oakerson: NYC Legend
• 67:17 – Jim Norton: Classic Stand-Up Comeback
• 80:12 – Ron White: Laid-Back Philosophy
• 86:13 – Casey Rocket: Absurdist Energy
• 102:52 – Harlan Williams: “Lyme Disease Set”
• 105:38 – Jason King: Guitar-Playing Comic
• 110:49 – Cam Patterson: New York Rumble
• 120:32 – Dr. Phil (Adam Ray): Roastmaster & Hall of Fame induction
• 139:08 – David Lucas: Roasting Clinic
• 146:06 – William Montgomery: King of MSG Closer

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Conclusion

Kill Tony at Madison Square Garden delivered everything the show is known for—risk, rawness, and riotous comedy—on the world’s biggest stage. With a parade of legends (Dice, Big Jay, Norton, Ron White), the biggest current stars (Rogan, Gillis, Schultz), unfiltered up-and-comers, and beloved regulars, the episode was pure chaos, camaraderie, and laughter. Tony Hinchcliffe’s persistent roasting, unflappable energy, and commitment to giving everyone a shot (however brutal) made for the most epic Kill Tony yet.

Kill Tony has truly arrived.

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For a comprehensive experience, use the segment timestamps to jump to the moments that made MSG shake!

Transcript

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to the Death Squad podcast network. This episode of Kill Tony and every

[Brian Redban]

episode of Kill Tony can be found

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

at Death Squad TV and now on Spotify and Apple podcasts. If you want to check out Tony

[Brian Redban]

Hinchcliffe's website, go to tonyhinchcliff.com everything Golden

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Pony, including his tour dates at tonyhinchcliffe.com

[Brian Redban]

if you want to check out the

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sunset Strip or get some Death Squad merch, go to Death Squad tv.

[Brian Redban]

And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from Madison Square Garden for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Henchl.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Who's ready for the best fucking two nights of their lives? Fuck yes. Madison Square Garden.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is Brian Redman, ladies and gentlemen. We started this show in front of 15 human beings with four signups in the belly room of the Comedy Store. And now we are here live from Madison Square Garden. Unbelievable. How about one more time for Jelly Roll, ladies and gentlemen. And let's keep it going. The best damn band in the land. Groove line horns, Raul Vallejo. Fernando Castillo. Carlos sos Turn of Jet ski, Jesse Johnson. Nicholas Rothhouse on percussion. And our drummer, the great Michael Gonzalez. Joining the band tonight, one of the top young rising musicians in the world, Marcus King. Our guitarist Matt Muhling. The band leader, John Dees, and his first time ever in New City. Ladies and gentlemen, that's D Madness. You're facing the wrong way, D. For the love of God. You gotta be kidding me. I don't know if they plan these things, but sometimes the comedy just flies. Facing John D. Soaking it all in. We have a lot of amazing show for you. This is a very special night. And before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Madison Square Garden. This is a show based in Austin, Texas. So while I have a lot of great New Yorkers scattered throughout the show, my two guests live with us in Austin, Texas. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first, make some noise for one of the best comedians in the world, this is Shane Gillis. Oh my God, Shane is back. And why don't we keep that energy

[Brian Redban]

going for the great and powerful Joe Rogan. Let's fucking go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh yeah. Madison Square Garden is on its motherfucking feet.

[Brian Redban]

Woo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The place is a ruckus.

[Brian Redban]

This is so insane. I think I was on episode seven. What episode was I on? What was the first one I did

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

it was a long time ago.

[Brian Redban]

There was no one there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was in the little room at the Ice House. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was in the tiny room of the Ice House.

[Brian Redban]

Oh my God. There's 20 people in that crowd.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's unbelievable. Now here we are.

[Brian Redban]

It's so much fun.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So exciting. Joe's new special just came out on Netflix on Saturday night. Shane Gillis been working in the writers room for tires season two. Nice enough to join us. So great to have you guys. You guys know how the show works. I have a bucket filled with hundreds and hundreds of names. It's never been this thick before. I didn't get an actual number. Where are the comedians that make some noise? They're over there. There's sign ups scattered throughout the audience. There's people all over the place that signed up. You know how it works. If I pull their name out, they get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know their time's up and you hear the sound of a kitten. Listen to that little tiny kitten play it again. Red band, adorable. That means they have to wrap it up then. Or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. Wow. Very powerful bear. A tiny little cat and a massive fucking New York bear. I don't know what the gay part of New York City is, but I'm sure I'll find out by the end of the night. We're just calling it the West Hollywood bear.

[Brian Redban]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So that's how it works. I'm going to pre pool a name for bucket pool number one. We're going to wrangle them from over there. And while that happens, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce a brand new, very special Madison Square Garden part of the show that has never been done before in the history of the show. This is a legends bucket, ladies and gentlemen. Oh yeah. And out of this bucket I pulled. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a guy who like us, started at the Comedy Store. A man who like us, but not like us, was the first ever comedian ever in the world to sell out Madison Square Garden. Gracing us with a set live here I present to you the heavyweight king of comedy. This is is Andrew Dice Clay, Sam.

[Brian Redban]

Subway violence city bikes, zombies in the streets, smoking crack pipes, pizza bagels and summertime titty. I wouldn't want to be nowheres else. This is New York fucking city. Oh, Madison Square fucking Garden. How the fuck are you? Uh huh. And I see they took your phones. You're all jonesing. You can't get enough of your phone. All fucking day, looking down. I. I got a text earlier today from my friend Joe. He goes, what are you doing? So I. I say I'm going to Subway for a turkey sandwich. All of a sudden I get another text. Joe liked you getting a turkey sandwich. What the fuck would I care what he likes? I mean, what kind of world have we turned into Facebook? Everybody wants to be connected. Why? Cause Zuckerberg, Shay, who's living on his own private fucking island, and you're all connected. Let me tell you something. We hate each other. We don't want to be together. I got a dm. Cause you can't even get rid of anybody. Today I get a DM from a girl I went with when I was 17. She wrote, I heard you doing really good. So I wrote back, I heard you was dead. I hoped you were dead. Cause you were no good. Fucking whore. Yeah, we. We don't want to be connected. You know how it feels when you get in the elevator, right? And there's nobody there? Greatest feeling in the world. And then here comes somebody running down the hall. Can you hold that? We all do the same thing, right? We're hitting the yeah. And you're hitting the close button. Yeah, come on in. Yeah, go ahead. And then right before the door closes, we all do the same thing

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

and

[Brian Redban]

you grab the door. Fuck you. Who the fuck are you to me? Living on the same floor for eight years, never said hello. This is a great fucking car. How you doing, honey? Remind me to pinch your tits after the show. Yeah, you could DM me any fucking time you want with those big fucking pig tits. Very nice. See, that's why I don't understand why there was ever a me too. You know what I mean? Chicks are crazier today than they ever were your whole fucking life. Think about it, you know? Like today, women hardly even wear makeup. You know, all their jewelry is down here in the pink lip lagoon that when they take their jeans off, you could go blind from diamonds. Rubies, they got a string of pearls hanging out of their asshole three blocks long. You could go down on a chick during this recession and come up a wealthy fucking guy. Look, I've been around for a while. 40 years ago, 40 years ago, when you told the chick to get on top, he would come. A slow moving fucking leg nearly breaking your hip with her kneecap. And then she would just lay there like she's waiting for a fucking bus. Today. Today when a chick gets on top, she knows they stand over you, they look down at you with disgust and Disdain. And they don't just sit on your cock. They squat down like a dog taking a dump in the fucking park with those big fucking horse tits banging in your face and that big fat ass banging your balls till they're black and blue. I mean, how do you think Tempur Pedic became the number one bet in the world? And then you take a picture of your balls, right, and you just put it on the Internet and you become a superstar. Like. Like this. Like the Hocktohy girl. You got to spit on that thang. And then you know where I take it? I take it that she comes home, you know, to her parents who remember her reveal party with the little pink smoker. Oh, it's gonna be a little girl. And There she is, five years old with her little pink dress and 10 years old in the jumper. Sweet fucking 16. And then 18. And then here she comes home from college at 21 with a degree in sucking dick and her father's going, I want you to get a job at Starbucks. And she's like, I make 75k a week on OnlyFans. You gotta work at fucking Starbucks, Pop. Do you understand? This girl has every deal with. She's got a three picture deal at Paramount, her own reality show. She's got the hock to e Hot sauce. She's got her own. She sells more merch. And her net worth is more than everybody on our fucking panel tonight. But what bothers me about the whole thing is. What bothers me about the whole thing is, you know, it was too quick. The little T T, that's like a piece of paper you're spitting out of your mouth, let me tell you something. When a girl could hock a loogie from across the room and hit the tip of your dick like a sniper, when she could stand over you and drizzle her spit all over your balls like it's a hot fudge sundae. And then you choke her as she's looking at you and the mascara's falling. And then with the. And drooling like a Saint Bernard with the spit dripping out of her mouth, down her chin, off your dick balls, making your wooden floors bubble. Then I say, you deserve a movie deal. And only then Huck too we. But this is the thing that I'm trying to get across tonight. Tony is gonna pick some names out of a hat that might be in the back or some jerk or sitting in the crowd out there. But before. Before you decide to be a road warrior, listen to me, take a little friendly advice. From Dicey Dice twice as nice before you decide to catch all those flights around the country, the flights that are delayed. The flights where you sit on the tarmac for three hours in the middle seat next to some asshole with a backwards baseball cap and his laptop and his spider man fucking backpack and you got some seven year old behind you kicking your fucking sleep while you're trying to sleep. And three hours into waiting on the tarmac, they go, oh, the flight is canceled because the pilot's too drunk. Now you gotta catch a ride, get a rent a Camry, an old Camry that smells like piss with balding tires, and drive from LA to Reno with a chain knife that you don't get mugged by a motorcycle gang in the middle of the fucking desert. Yeah. And then you finally wind up 10 hours later at the Holiday Inn Express where you sit in a fucking chair to sleep because you don't want to get the bedbugs. And then you come down in the morning for the free buffet that all the slobs in the hotel already coughed and sneezed on these old crusty fucking eggs. And now you're in a liquor room that they converted into your fucking dressing room with mice running around. And then you go out and you give it your all for 15 fucking drunk people. And if you're a girl comic, there's gonna be at least one guy going, show us your tits. And then when you come back in the dressing room after you show, here comes the waitress going, I got your chicken fingers already. And guess what we just got in the hock. Tooie. Hot sauce. So before you decide to do that, girls, why don't you just take yourself to the neighborhood laundromat, hop up on a warm fucking dryer, pull your legs all the way back and queef to the Star Spangled Banner as you squirt like a super Soaker into the face of some poor fucking guy folding his underwear. Boom. Superstardom. In a month, you'll be sitting on the panel with Kill Tony, right next to fucking Tony. You've been a great crowd, enjoy the show. God bless, Good night.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

One of the greatest comedians of all time, Andrew Dice Clay, ladies and gentlemen. You could do better than that. Make some fucking noise for Dice. What a way to get the show started. Now, believe it or not, a pull your soul has to do. 60 seconds after that, we go to the actual bucket. Make some noise for Heidi, ladies and gentlemen. Now to the bucket we go. We're going to meet a human. This could be their first time ever doing Standup. It's definitely guaranteed. Their first time performing in Madison Square Garden. 60 seconds uninterrupted goes to Corey Albert, ladies and gentlemen. And here we go. Corey Albert is first out of the bucket on kill. Tony. 60 seconds.

[Brian Redban]

Holy shit. Madison Square Garden. What the fuck's up?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. All right, guys. I am recently single. I just got into a breakup, so I'm dating again, which fucking sucks. Dating nowadays is the worst in history. I say it's harder to date now than it was during the Holocaust. At least when you dated during the Holocaust, it was real easy to get a girl's number. Is that a 3?

[Brian Redban]

2. Fuck it. Let's go back to my place and shower.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It also sucks cause I no longer get blowjobs. And those are my favorite thing. I still remember my first blowjob. And the only reason I remember it is because of the day. It was a day I could never forget.

[Brian Redban]

September 11, 2001. Fifth grade, under the bleachers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think this chick had some sort of fixation on tragedy because she was twice as horny. She grabbed my head, pushed me down first and said, the towers aren't the only thing going down. And that's still the sexiest thing I've ever heard to this day. And then she went down, and I don't know how long she was there for, but I think we already invaded Iraq.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Exactly 60 seconds from Corey Albert covering some of the great tragedies in the history of civilization, all in 60 seconds. Corey, grab that microphone. You're here. You're in it right now.

[Brian Redban]

I know, man. Dude, I fucking had no idea. This is crazy. I can see you freaking out when you're moving away from the logo.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't wanna.

[Brian Redban]

I don't wanna dirty it, you know? I know you were freaking out, bro. You did a good job, though. You hung in there. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Holocaust N 911 while shaking visibly. Yeah, I mean, you went out there with some dangerous premises. You had me up after dice. I mean, right? Right. True. That's crazy. How weird is this experience?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What was that?

[Brian Redban]

How weird is this experience? Dude, it's fucked. Like, I've never seen this many people in front of me before.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Sound. How long have you been doing standup comedy, Corey? Since 2019.

[Brian Redban]

So depending if you count Covid, I guess almost six years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do for a living?

[Brian Redban]

I work it. For a school.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

For a school.

[Brian Redban]

Yep. Okay, well, that's done. Definitely done. They definitely didn't teach you how to count?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. And what do you do for fun. Tell us more about your actual life, Corey. You live here in New York City.

[Brian Redban]

I live in Connecticut, over by Mohegan. I know you hate Connecticut. I know. I do too, like Connecticut, people. But it's a fake state. But it is a fake state. It's a highway. I agree. Highway between Boston and New York. Sorry. One of my best friends lives in Connecticut. Lives on a highway. It's not real state.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do for fun out in Connecticut?

[Brian Redban]

I mean, I work on my car.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I try.

[Brian Redban]

There's nothing to do there. Why are you asking him questions? Questions drink a lot. It's a fake state. Watch Joe Rogan's podcast.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You work on your car? What kind of car do you have, Corey?

[Brian Redban]

I have a Mustang. I know. I'm gonna get hate for that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, look at you.

[Brian Redban]

I know, I know, you goddamn communist. I know. Who the hates a Mustang?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's a car. New York City hates car owners. That's what it is. Hey, take a train like I do. I love it. What. What year is your Mustang?

[Brian Redban]

2010.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

2010. Oh, no. That's a shitty year.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's shitty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's why you're working on it. I built it, pretty much.

[Brian Redban]

So hung in there two more years, you'd been okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your love life like? You talked a lot about dating and. Oh, man, it's not good.

[Brian Redban]

I.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, I've been cheated on with gay men. Stabbed.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's been real good. You've been cheated on with gay men? Yeah, she left for a gay guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like. Did I clear finish that sentence? Yeah, yeah. She. I was like. By who? Like, is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is the worst things you could envision.

[Brian Redban]

I've probably lived it. She left for. He's not gay, though. He is. He has a grinder. What? He has a grinder.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A grinder.

[Brian Redban]

One of my gay friends found it. Maybe he's just a. Maybe he's just a gay. But he doesn't do gay stuff otherwise. Maybe. Maybe he doesn't like it, but he's willing to do it for money. Does that make you feel better about her breaking up with you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, once I found out he

[Brian Redban]

was a Noah Kahan fan, it made me feel better.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Most interesting thing that's ever happened to you in your entire life, Corey. I mean, aside from this.

[Brian Redban]

I went to Niagara Falls, did some shows in Canada, which was really fun because I've never really been to Canada other than when I was like, 13,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

so performing at Niagara Falls Is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to you in your life. I don't live an exciting life, man.

[Brian Redban]

We grew up skateboarding. This shit ain't fucking that exciting.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes, you are correct. You do not have an exciting life. I can confirm that. But I'll tell you what, you were the first bucket pull tonight. You have special Bonsai handmade leather joke books with a Statue of Liberty with a skull on them. And you got one, buddy.

[Brian Redban]

Thanks so much, guys. Thank you. Thank you, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some noise here. First bucket pull of the night. Corey Albert. And the show has completely begun. We are in full effect. And now, while coming off of talking about Niagara Falls in Canada, I'm going to bring up a golden ticket winner, ladies and gentlemen, who is from Toronto, Canada. You're about to witness the most monumental moment of his life. We haven't seen him in a while. He's been very excited about this. This is a brand new minute from Jared Nathan. Here he comes. And here we.

[Brian Redban]

Go. If you can't tell by looking at my face, I'm a huge wrestling fan. Finally, Joe Neighbor. The master square goddess. Yeah, make some noise. I was on the subway last night. I heard the announcement. If you see something, Say something. Every time I say something, it'll be too late. Run, run, run. Have you stuttered? Is a blessing and a curse. The curse thing is telemarketers hang up on me. The bad thing is orange Chinese food. It's fucking impossible. Beef and broccoli. Don't forget the fudge and cookie, you chink. Oh, my goodness. I was with you until the end.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow, really? Put a little ribbon on it there at the end. Oh, my goodness gracious.

[Brian Redban]

Full balls of fire.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Brian Redban]

Full balls of fire.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There you go. Absolutely. Four balls of fire.

[Brian Redban]

Look at that song is, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jared, that was a great set. Let's talk about it.

[Brian Redban]

Solid, Jared. Very solid. That was very, very funny, dude. Really, truly, truly an insane, insane dismount. But who are we to judge on it? Yeah, yeah. You know, you keep using the dismounted and shot himself in the shin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you keep using words like that, you might end up on panel someday.

[Brian Redban]

I followed the.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know, whatever you just said, I'm sure it makes sense. All right. Most of the set was interrupted by Shane asking me what your condition is.

[Brian Redban]

Well, I gotta be honest, and this is coming from a guy who gets this a lot. Do you have down syndrome? I am not your cousin, Danny.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But you do love grilled cheese, don't

[Brian Redban]

you love grilled cheese? Obviously I love grilled cheese.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jared. And hot dogs, Nathan. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Shout out hot dogs. Just make sure hot dogs didn't get disrespected. The hot dogs.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Had to get the hot dogs in there. You don't want the hot dogs mad at you. I love it. Jared, you've never done a show this big before in your life. How do you feel being here in New York City at the Mecca, the most famous arena in the world, Madison Square Garden?

[Brian Redban]

I feel fucking amazing, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You must be confused because it's neither a square nor a garden. Probably not what you expected at all.

[Brian Redban]

I can't find a fucking rose anywhere.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's right. Absolutely not. A rose to be found. So what's going on in your life, Jared? Since the last time we saw you

[Brian Redban]

live your life, Tony, I have. I have an album on SiriusXM. I'm doing shows all over.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No better time to have an album on SiriusXM than right now. Tony, I don't know if you know this. I just learned that he is now roommates with that little crab guy, Ricky. What's his name? Ricky Barlock. He's a very famous.

[Brian Redban]

They're not roommates like they do

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

together. Why would you bring that up? Because it's pretty crazy. If you find super crazy. I have no idea who the you're talking about. We're at Madison Square Garden right now.

[Brian Redban]

I know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, I don't know if you know who his roommate is, Tony.

[Brian Redban]

I got this. Laughing Are you. Are you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jesus Christ? He's a celebrity. He's.

[Brian Redban]

He's amazing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you. Red Band. I was wondering how long it would take for you to. To be absolutely moronic. Okay. Put your microphone down. Very good. Hey, Jared.

[Brian Redban]

Hello, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hello.

[Brian Redban]

How's it going?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Great. Fantastic. Anything else you want to say or anything else?

[Brian Redban]

I did one thing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah?

[Brian Redban]

I love you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You brought a lunchbox?

[Brian Redban]

I brought a lunchbox.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

Sorry.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Here it is. What's he going to pull out?

[Brian Redban]

Candy?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, don't eat that. Whatever that is. No, no, no. Jared, what are you doing? What the fuck is that? Jared. Okay, Jared, we're alive right now.

[Brian Redban]

Stutter. Why would you eat a Jujube, Dude, I look like one. Edge. Tony, I love you. I just want to. Is that something to you? On behalf of all the specialty people out there. You do huge community. You open up doors to everybody disabilities. You live a dream of telling jokes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

So, Tony, I present to you the first annual Hard R award.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Redban]

The.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I assembled your face so amazing. That's.

[Brian Redban]

Can I get the deal?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. Incredible. Tony hit.

[Brian Redban]

Hard R award.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hard R Award.

[Brian Redban]

Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you, Jared.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm going to remind people that I won this. Thank you. Rogan, make some noise for Jared Nathan, ladies and gentlemen. Jared, throw that mic in the middle of the red circle, would ya? How about one more time for Jared Nathan, ladies and gentlemen. We're going back to a real bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen. We're gonna meet somebody all together now again, very crazy high pressure situation for a normal comedian to do a venue like this. And let's see what happens. 60 seconds uninterrupted goes to Alex Philkov. Alex Philkov is next on Kill. Tony. Here he comes. Everybody make some noise for Alex, everyone.

[Brian Redban]

New York, how we feeling? Let's go, baby. I'm so happy to be here. Came here from Philly, man. Hey, there you go. Nah, nah, nah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill, chill, chill. Yo, this. This morning, right? This morning I came here, man, I got a haircut. That's the first thing I did, right? I went to the shop, I sat down and I realized something, you know, I realized that being a barber is a lot harder than it looks, right? Because how do you gently stroke someone's hair and not fall in love? I'm playing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right, right, right.

[Brian Redban]

No, no, listen, listen. It's because I went to a fancy salon, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fancy salon.

[Brian Redban]

This girl, she sat me down, right? She sat me down. She did everything. She washed my hair. I was like, whoa, I don't got the money for that. Come on now. You go back to the damn. All right, bro, y' all messing with y' all. Not messing with eye, bro.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, here we go. And it has begun. The dark side of Kill Tony is amongst us.

[Brian Redban]

That's crazy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is crazy, isn't it? Alex, how long have you been Shane.

[Brian Redban]

Go Birds.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Alex, how long have you been attempting stand up comedy?

[Brian Redban]

I've been attempting for like nine months.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Nine months?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where do you live? Where'd you start?

[Brian Redban]

So I live in Philly. I do. I think I chose the wrong joke. Yeah. Shout out, Joel Embiid. Let's get it, boy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We're witnessing a heel turn from Shane Gillis right now. Okay, so you live in Philly. How's it going for you there? Are you funny there?

[Brian Redban]

I hope so. You know, I try.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do you. Are you like the boo guy there? This. You got booed?

[Brian Redban]

No, no. Never booze.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Never, never booze at Madison Square Garden.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The first time for everything. So nine months attempting stand up comedies. Stick with me, Alex. It's okay. Just Ignore them. What do you do for a living?

[Brian Redban]

So I go to college. Huh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How old are you?

[Brian Redban]

Hold up. What kind of college? What?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of college?

[Brian Redban]

Four year. Uh huh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's. What's the school? They hate four year colleges. Do you have a car?

[Brian Redban]

I do have a car.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of car?

[Brian Redban]

You have a car? I drive a BMW.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. I feel like it's just gonna keep getting worse and worse. What are you trying to get your degree in?

[Brian Redban]

Business. Let's go. Let's go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Here's your chance for redemption. Right now, in this moment, you've got nothing but booze. They seem to keep getting bigger and bigger. Tell us, focus. What is the most likable thing about you? How can you win over this crowd in New York City? Give us a fun fact about you that will make them all love you right now.

[Brian Redban]

I play hockey in high school.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, I'm gonna give you one more chance.

[Brian Redban]

Lean into it. Dude, you're getting booed at the Garden. That's actually pretty sick. Dude. I'm going into it, bro. This is what I'm kicking you came here for, bro. Come on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You came here to get booed at the Garden.

[Brian Redban]

If it works, it works, Bo. Attention is publicity.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, that. Now boo. Now I'm booing you. Boo. Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

That's just bad theory.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's what Pang Dang thought. Okay, what do you think is. I gave you a lot of shots here. What do you think is the most unlikable thing about you before I let you go?

[Brian Redban]

Well, apparently my personality.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love this fucking crowd tonight. You guys are funny. Holy shit. That was. Was good. They cheered on the fact that you suck. Well, we got little joke books for a reason. Alex, this is for you, buddy. It's going to be a long drive home in that Beamer tonight. There he goes. Ladies and gentlemen, you live or die by the sword. This is Kill Tony. Kill or be killed. And that was Alex Philkov. Alex, get the out of here. Stop.

[Brian Redban]

You know what I found out about fur coats?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They're hot.

[Brian Redban]

They give you comfort when people are eating shit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Just like, ah, I love it. What do you say we get back to this legends bucket, huh? Wasn't that fun? Oh, my God. You know, New York has a lot of iconic comedians. A lot of them I consider to be like big brothers to me. This is truly. If you've ever seen them before, you know, one of your. All of your favorite comedians, one of their favorite comedians, one of my favorite comedians, one of my great friends. Let's make some noise. From multiple time Kill Tony guests and one of the all time best in the world working today. This is is Big J Okerson.

[Brian Redban]

Wow, Tony, this is impressive, dude. How about a round applause one more time for Alex who was just up here. Come on, come on. That poor son of a bitch was doomed to fail. He followed a handicap guy's amazing speech. Before I go, handicap can do anything. And then that guy came up here with his beautiful working face and body. You hated him from the get go. It's okay. I'm having a rough week. I found out for the first time my 21 year old daughter is dating and she's 5 foot 11. So I was like, black dude, right? And then she goes, well, he's half black. And I was like, ah. And then she went, he's half Hispanic. And I went, both. I'm processing it. It's fine. I'm sure he's a good dude. And I'll have some fun new bits about my black son in law. Also, a black grandchild would be a nice look for me. If I'm being completely honest, I get called racist a lot because of comedy. So a black grandchild would be a nice look for me. I hope it's a boy with a strong black name like Germany. And then all my headshots are gonna be me just cornrowing his hair. Take pictures in our Jordans together. I'm gonna throw Mali Oopstrom.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anthony Hupp.

[Brian Redban]

Thanks, Pop Pop. So she's dating black dudes. Who gives a shit? It's better than the alternative. My friend told me, don't worry about who your daughter dates. She'll be fine. Cause girls always look for a guy that reminds them of their father. I go, I hope that's not true. I like to finger girls assholes when they suck my dick. I don't want that for my baby. For my sweet angel. No, that was fine for her pig mother, but that was different. I can get two in there too. She was loose as a goose. Her farts never made noise. But not my angel. Plus, you ever see how long black dude fingers are? No way, Jose. That you're gonna scratch her trachea through her asshole. Back off, Arsenio. He's gotta pull it out like this. Sorry, Mr. O. I didn't want to meet like this. New York fucking Tony Hinchcliffe. Thank you so much for letting me be even a small part of this dude.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you.

[Brian Redban]

It means so much to me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen.

[Brian Redban]

Proud of you man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Truly one of the Best comedians working today, gracing us with his presence. How loud can this place get for the great Big J Okerson?

[Brian Redban]

Thank you, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So awesome. Thank you. Big J the man. Thank you, brother. All right, now somebody's gotta follow that out of the bucket. Section 226, row four. This is the Kill Tony debut. Ladies and gentlemen, bucket poll number three of Tyler Matthews. Here we go. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Tyler Matthews.

[Brian Redban]

I was raised a Jehovah's Witness. If you don't know what they are, don't worry, I have a brochure. If you think bombing on stage is bad, imagine bombing every single door you knocked on. So what's the deal with birthdays? Am I right? It was confusing. My time as a Jehovah's Witness, I was confused all the time. But when I got out, I was never confused ever again until I joined the military. Who gets tricked by those two groups? Am I right? People will think that I'm a pilot because I was in the Air Force. I get to see the respect go away from their face after I tell them I was in the UPS of the air force. God bless you all. Thank you so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tyler Matthews, welcome to the show. Tyler, you live here in New York?

[Brian Redban]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

From Brooklyn?

[Brian Redban]

Yep.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. Born and raised.

[Brian Redban]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where are you originally from?

[Brian Redban]

Originally from Indiana.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ooh, terrible. Congratulations on getting out of there. What do you do for a living?

[Brian Redban]

Right now I'm an office manager at a law firm.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. How long you been doing stand up?

[Brian Redban]

About eight years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Eight years. You have any special skills or talents?

[Brian Redban]

I can make balloon animals.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you bring any balloons with you?

[Brian Redban]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Terrible. Absolutely horrendous. We've never had balloon animals on this show before. We would have found a real talent from you. That's the sound of not having balloon animals, Tyler. Very, very interesting. Here, face the crowd. What were you thinking today when you put on that doctor's cloak? You always do that. Do you wear a shirt?

[Brian Redban]

It's like business casual. No, for real. No jokes. Why were you wearing that? Why are you wearing that? Yeah, what business is that casual in? What business are you in, man? We're a hospitality law firm. Are you on any kind of medication you want to tell us about? No, no, nothing. Nothing, really.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How many times did you get vaccinated?

[Brian Redban]

Three.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep, there it is. There it is. Got it. The guy in the cowboy hat's cracking up right now. Just like three more times than me. I love it. Hell, yeah, buddy. Tyler, what's your love life like?

[Brian Redban]

I'm looking for love, you know,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Last date you went on, when was that?

[Brian Redban]

Last week. Ooh, what was his name? Come on, folks. Msg, let's go. That's the type of jokes one of

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the best in the world. Shane Gillis. So was it a first time date last week or someone you've been seeing?

[Brian Redban]

Someone I've been seeing, yeah, we're friends.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is that her decision or yours?

[Brian Redban]

That's her decision. Did you wear that shirt? Did a rat pilot your every movement?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, like, where'd you go on this date?

[Brian Redban]

We just smoked in a car and went by the park.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You smoked in a car and went by the park? Yeah. Not to the park.

[Brian Redban]

We were gonna go to the park, but. But the smoking session went so badly. She was like, let's skip the park. She's like, I hate that shirt. We're not going in the park.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, seriously, Tyler, let's keep it real. Even though you're here in the most famous arena in the world, I genuinely want to know. So you're smoking weed, you're in a car, right? You're with me. Your plan is to go to the park where exactly what moment does she say, I don't want to go to the park. What happens? Tyler, talk, all right?

[Brian Redban]

She was like, hey, we're just friends. We're just kicking it. And we just talked and chilled and got high.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What made her say that? Did you try to kiss me?

[Brian Redban]

I wanted to kiss. I wanted a kiss.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How did you signify to her that you wanted a kiss?

[Brian Redban]

I said, may I kiss you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, this is good. See, now I'm getting where I want to be. Okay, so you're sitting there. Was it a joint? A blunt?

[Brian Redban]

A couple of joints.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You smoked two joints?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. You got her real good and paranoid. And then all of a sudden you go, is there music playing or anything? You're just in a quiet. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. What type of music are you playing? It's gonna be so weird. It was her car. She had control of the Ox Pixies. No. Was it. She likes R and B. R and B. Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's the right music to be able to land a kiss. So you smoke two joints, you go, may I kiss you? Is that what you said?

[Brian Redban]

Those are my lines. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And then what exactly did she say? Was it your weed?

[Brian Redban]

It was her. We went and got the weed together at a dispensary.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Who paid for it?

[Brian Redban]

We split the bill.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's your problem. We finally figured it out, ladies and gentlemen. Tyler's in the friend zone. Cuz He's a thrifty little Tyler, isn't he?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Oh, you sure you're not a Jehovah's Witness? Come on, folks. Msg. Come on, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. Tyler, why didn't you pick up the tab on the marijuana?

[Brian Redban]

She insisted.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right. Because she truly does not want.

[Brian Redban]

Have you known this lady for a few years? Yeah. It might be time to bail on that project.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah,

[Brian Redban]

that tree's never gonna go, girl Fruit. Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I mean, why do you dance in between moments here? I keep noticing. Keep doing this thing where you're pretending like you're ridiculously comfortable while talking about being in the friend zone in front of a sold out arena.

[Brian Redban]

I was dancing when I asked for the kiss, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, this is our first in the car.

[Brian Redban]

Doing like a little seated wiggle. Yeah, like a little wiggle. Like this. Oh, no. All right, all right. I dance when I get anxious, folks. I'm so sorry. It's kind of nerve wracking up here in front of what, 14,000 people? Yeah, but that dance sucked ass. That was bad. Oh, yeah. Your dance is terrible. Obviously. Yes, it's terrible. You need to stop doing that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Tyler, anything else interesting about you we should know before we let you go?

[Brian Redban]

I was also a clown. That's why I did the balloons.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right.

[Brian Redban]

Clowns Dot Com.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Brian Redban]

That's the name of the business they're out of Elmont in Long Island.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's your business?

[Brian Redban]

I worked for them.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, you worked for Clowns Dot com. Okay. Fucking creepy as fuck. I'd like to present our first serial killer of the night. Tyler Matthews, everybody. Good news, good news, Tyler. You're leaving here with a little joke book. There he goes. Tyler Matthews, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. Keeping it moving along here, I'd like to present your first regular of the night. This young man has taken the Kill Tony universe by absolute storm as we hustle and try our hardest to acquire American citizenship for him, Madison Square Garden, I proudly present the Estonian assassin, Ari Matthew.

[Brian Redban]

You ever look at a homeless person sitting on the corner and think to yourself, must be nice, you know, just to be like, fuck it. Because if you're like a working class asshole like us, life keeps fucking me up, up my ass. Every year I gotta make more room in my asshole for the government to fit another one in there. Inflation, rent, price of gas. What's happening in Gaza? Is Joe Biden a lizard? And then you look at the homeless dudes just chilling with the boys. You don't give a fuck who's President. You see some pretty lady go by, you already know you're not gonna fuck her. Might as well pull your dick out. She runs, you laugh. Get high fives from the boys. Because what's gonna happen? You're gonna call the police officer? What are you gonna do now? Take me in and give me a bed? Thank you very much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is what the fuck is up. Representing the regulars, some of the top young rising comedians in the world. Brought to you by Kill Tony.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This is the Estonian assassin, Ari Matti. Absolutely demolishing, taking his time, reverberating through the room. Unbelievable. Fucking set.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What was that little scoff about there? What was that?

[Brian Redban]

Nothing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Redban]

I was just staring at a guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Redban]

I was just making a face at a guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Story of my life, Ari. An unbelievable performance. Something that was inspired here in New York City that has a lot of homeless people.

[Brian Redban]

It's crazy out there, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's pretty wild. I came here like six months ago, couldn't get a fucking open mic spot. I got bit by a rat, and now I'm back in Madison Square. God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell yeah, baby.

[Brian Redban]

Pretty crazy, huh? It is two months in America, bro. It's crazy. Kill Tony. Regular Madison Square Garden, Joe Rogan podcast brother. Dude, that's America. Dude, that's America. By the end of the year, I might run for president. Get that man his green car.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Oh, it's gonna happen. There's nothing that can stop.

[Brian Redban]

You have one note, though. That act out at the end. Dude, chill, bro. You little zesty ass. Act out. Dude, chill, bro. We don't with that. Take that back to Estonia. Everything else is great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You keep shaking that ass like that, you might be doing two spots tonight, Ari. Maddie, you're an absolute sensation. I cannot tell you what an acquisition it's like when the Yankees get one of those diabolical Japanese players to come over here and play for him or whatever. You just belong here. We love you. You represent so fucking well every goddamn time you hit the stage in San Antonio last week, opening for Rogan. Special in every appearance here on Kill Tony. I couldn't be prouder to bring you here to Madison Square Garden to do exactly what you just did. And what a spot to represent the regulars of this show, getting them started here tonight. One more time for Ari Matti, ladies and gentlemen. We love you. Moving on to yet another bucket pool a human has to follow. Ari Matti, I present to you the comedy stylings of Johnny J From section 101, grow 11, seat 15. To the big stage, the biggest in the world. The most famous arena, the granddaddy of them all. Madison Square Garden. This is Johnny J.

[Brian Redban]

How we doing? Madison Square Garden. Noise for Joe Rogan, Shane Gillis. Is that Tony? Tony Hinchcliffe. Here we go. Hey, gentlemen, raise your hands if you ever caught your lady. Caught your jerking. Raise your hands now, ladies, raise your hands if you ever actually caught your man jerking off. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Brian Redban]

So I was in the bathroom jerking off one time, looking in the mirror per usual, and I hear the door open. I'm like, fuck, my girl's here. It's my best friend. I keep a straight face, eye to eye. Best orgasm I think I might have ever had in my entire. I'm not gay. Best orgasm I've ever had in my entire life.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why?

[Brian Redban]

Damn it, man. That's all I had, man. I don't. That's. That's it. That's all I got. That's all I got. That's all I got.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. 46 seconds.

[Brian Redban]

46. 46.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. That was not good, Johnny.

[Brian Redban]

I gotta give him credit for the dismount. You gotta know when things are going terrible. You gotta get out of there. Yeah, dude, you gotta. You gotta bail when you can. I give a little credit for that, folks. Thank you, Joe. You guys are mean. Yeah, I also wasn't that good though. In their defense.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Johnny, let us cover that part. How long you been doing stand up comedy?

[Brian Redban]

About how long? 46 seconds.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So this is your first time ever on stage?

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What made you choose today to start stand up comedy?

[Brian Redban]

So I was sitting up there and someone said, johnny Jones. And I said, that's what they used to call me in high school right here. And they just dragged me out.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What made you sign up for this today? I know how you got selected. You got pulled out of a bucket. Yes.

[Brian Redban]

My. My buddy, as a joke wrote, wrote my name down and threw me in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, well, there he goes, Johnny J. You leave with nothing. No joke book, no keychain. Put the mic in the mic stand. There goes Johnny J. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to keep moving along. That's it. It's a dog eat dog world out there, people. He's got no set, he's got no answers. And now to recover from this, I'd like to present another regular on the show. You guys like regulars on this show, right? We've seen this guy's longest possible journey. You were with him when, when he was living in a van you were with him when he had to fight many times to keep his position on the show. Undefeated all time in battles. I present the Madison Square Garden debut of Hans Kim. This is Hans Kim. This is Hans Kim. This is Hans Kim. This is Hans Kim. This is Hans Kim.

[Brian Redban]

What's up, New York? I am an Asian man, which makes me an elite female athlete, pretty much a Mexican woman. In Asia, we respect our elders. We don't make them run the entire country and then shoot them in the earth. When Biden heard the news, he was like, big deal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I almost died twice this morning.

[Brian Redban]

Love seeing that white patch above Trump's ear. I can't wait for the rest of the hood to come in.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's not an anti Trump joke. That's a pro KKK joke.

[Brian Redban]

I do the dry cleaning.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you. Hans Kim. Doing it again. You gotta love it. I mean, absolutely. Jokes the whole way through the polarizing figure. Hans Kim.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I guess I am polarizing.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hans, how does it feel here? Look, you're at Madison Square Garden. Thank you guys so much. I used to live here. What was life like back when you lived here? Tell us about it.

[Brian Redban]

A lot of it was outdoors. I was living in a van over

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

by the old creek in the cave

[Brian Redban]

on Long Island City. Really? Really. Sleeping next to cars.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was not great.

[Brian Redban]

But now I'm indoors. I'm in a beautiful hotel. So, I mean, I love being indoors in New York City. It's one of the best experiences.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes, I completely agree. Being indoors in New York City is better than being outdoors. Hans, what else is going on in life?

[Brian Redban]

I'm doing great. My girlfriend is in Europe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She is so good at staying loyal to me here, she decided to take

[Brian Redban]

it on the road. And now, right now she's in Ibiza at a pool party. So, you know.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, what do you think she's doing?

[Brian Redban]

She's indoors. I'm sure there's lots of guys with normal shaped heads there, which kind of worries me. They probably have teeth that close all the way. I'm trying not to ruin her trip. She spent $14,000 on it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

$14,000? How did she spend that kind of money on a trip like that? She's going to Ibiza, Italy, Spain.

[Brian Redban]

She's going to all the different spots where men exist.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What's your worst, truly your worst case scenario, type of guy that she could hook up with? I'm interested. I'm interested to know what your worst nightmare is.

[Brian Redban]

Well, Cam Patterson, but luckily he's here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So you guys know Hans Kim. Any thoughts? About Hans Joe. Shane.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Hell yeah. Great job. Thank you, Shane. Yeah. That was great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love you.

[Brian Redban]

Love you, bro. That was good. Thank you, man. I have a lot more. I've been writing a lot. I haven't been on this funny man, but this girlfriend shit's too real. Yeah, that kind of bummed me out. Honestly, that bummed me out. Right now. She literally went to the worst places on earth picturing raves and baby oil and chaos.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you can get a new girlfriend, Hans. You know, have to stay with the same woman. Over and over. She texted me.

[Brian Redban]

She's going to be loyal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She's.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, well, that. That counts. Nobody ever lies on text. I got it on record, but apparently FaceTime doesn't work in Europe.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You guys ever notice that.

[Brian Redban]

Glass

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

you drive FaceTiming her?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, she already gave me like a prelude before she even went there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

She was like, by the way, FaceTime's

[Brian Redban]

not gonna work there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, dude. Wow. How long.

[Brian Redban]

How long you been with her? About a year and a half now. That's a good run. You tried. I'll let her know. I mean, she says you gave it your best.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm gonna be faithful. So.

[Brian Redban]

I mean. Shut the fuck up. You're in New York City, you're gonna do coke and you're gonna have a good time. A normal person going to do a little bit of coke. Guys are going to have fun, dude. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just a little bit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I'd love to, Jerry.

[Brian Redban]

I want to see you do coke and open those eyes up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's true. You can do whatever you want, Hans. FaceTime not working goes both ways. Well, Hans, you did it again, right? Rock solid set here at the Mecca Madison Square Garden.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some noise for Hans Kim, ladies and gentlemen. Let's go to the legends bucket, huh?

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is absolutely incredible. This man is truly one of the best ever. Truly one of my favorite comedians for as long as I can remember. A true New Yorker. A monster. I present to you one of my all time favorites, gracing us with his presence. Ladies and gentlemen, New York's own Jim Norton.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Very nice. You'll have to. Before I start, I apologize if I. If I move, I hurt my neck. I've been taking Jiu Jitsu for about a year and a half and I hurt myself today. But no one has submitted me in the whole year and a half. No one has been able to submit me once. But I realize it's because whenever Someone puts me in a choke, I yell, I'm gonna cough. Little jujitsu life hack. You want someone to let you go? Just threaten to turn their black belt white. So I was reading an article this week about Jerry Sandusky. Most of you remember him. If you're too young to remember him, he would like you. There was an article last week in the Daily Mail. They said he was convicted in 2012 of molesting a bunch of kids. Penn State coach, national scandal. But they said there was medical evidence that might have exonerated him, but he wouldn't allow his lawyers to put it into evidence because it was too embarrassing. All right, I'm curious. Apparently, he could not have had sex with all those children because he is medically impotent and his testicles are atrophied. But he wouldn't let his lawyer say that. You know, he didn't want to look bad. That's how fragile the male ego is. I heard you can't get it up. That's not true. You don't believe me? Ask those kids. They'll tell you. I don't understand pedophiles. I realize that's not a controversial statement. You're never gonna lose the audience saying that. What do you mean? You don't get it? I just don't understand that desire. Like, I don't even like children as friends. I don't. Like if. Like, I'm not rude. Like, if you have kids and I go to your house, I'm not gonna ask you to keep them in the yard, but don't leave me alone with your child. Don't leave me alone with your kid. I'll explain that. That's a semicolon, not an exclamation point. Because I don't want the responsibility of entertaining your child. I have nothing in common with a kid. My friend's got a six year old and she left me and this kid alone in the living room, and it's just fucking awkward. There's nothing to say to each other. I kept hoping he'd get the ball rolling. And I'm like, fine, it's my job. I'll talk to him. But he was a stupid, stupid boy. I tried. I was like, so what do you think of this whole Gaza thing?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Little fucking idiot.

[Brian Redban]

And finally, speaking of abortion, they overturned Roe versus Wade. And in New York, it's obviously a very unpopular decision. I have very mixed feelings about this. I didn't know how to feel when they took away abortion. I think ultimately I feel a woman should be able to do what you want. It's your body. No one can tell you. But, but, but, but I can't say that I'm for abortion because I am only alive because of an abortion that was refused. Roe versus Wade was January of 1973, April of 1973. My mother went for an abortion and they turned her away. The doctor actually refused to do it because I was five. I remember it well. She was begging the guy to grandfather her in. She even held up my first report card to prove that I was not viable outside the womb. He finally just grabbed her by the shoulders and said, lighten up, lady, and drown this thing in the tub like everybody else does. Well, that was my set. Thanks a lot, Tony. I'm happy to be here. Shane.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Joe, my fan.

[Brian Redban]

Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Un fucking believable. Perhaps one of my favorite or perhaps one of my favorite jokes I've heard in a fucking really long time. That pedophile stuff's absolutely hilarious.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you, man. It's hard to do it with my dicks off. All right, thank you guys very much. Tony, I love you. Congratulations, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some noise for your very own New York Zone, representing Strong Jim Norton. And now back to the bucket we go. Ladies and gentlemen, A human has to follow that. Make some noise. 60 seconds uninterrupted, while Shane goes pee. Brought to you by Bud Light, ladies and gentlemen, this is Oleg Cutler. Oleg Cutler, Here we go. You guys still having fun out there? Oleg Cutler. Is Brooklyn in the motherfucking house right now, guys? Hell fucking yeah, guys. I don't know if you guys heard the news today, but Johnson and Johnson recently announced that they're coming out with an AIDS vaccine, guys. They're coming out with an AIDS vaccine. They're gonna be calling it Magic Johnson. That. That's the name of the vaccine, guys. The only side effect is your youngest son might come out as trans might, guys. Might. So depending on who you are, it might be easier to deal with the aids, is what I'm saying to you guys, is what I'm saying. Let's see. One of my friends recently told me that they're addicted to pornography. And I'm just letting you know that's not a real thing, guys. What does that even mean?

[Brian Redban]

As soon as you nut, you put it away.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's what porn is used for, guys. But I'll tell you when porn is gonna be an addiction, guys. Porn is gonna be an addiction. When they start putting fentanyl in the porn, guys. When they start putting fentanyl in the porn, that. Thank you Jesus Christ Almighty. This is what happens if Beavis and Butt Head made a child together. Guys. Am I right? Guys? Brooklyn in the house. Jesus Christ. Some pizza owner a rat and made a half a comedian. Guys. Am I right? Holy. How long have you been trying standup comedy? Three years. How long have you been a Little League home plate umpire? My whole entire life, Tony. Oh, my goodness. How old are you? I'm 40. Oh, You sound like a Honda that won't start. Holy. Why do you sound like that? What is that? I don't know. I'm just laughing at my own channel. What do you do for a living? I am currently unemployed. I'm currently unemployed. You always repeat your punchlines twice. Magic Johnson. It's a. Magic Johnson. It's a vaccine. It's a vaccine. I'm unemployed. I'm unemployed. You're like something that grew out of a puddle in Brooklyn.

[Brian Redban]

Kind of true.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Kind of true. I did. I was actually raised in a puddle. I was raised in a puddle. This is unbelievable.

[Brian Redban]

Sounds like it didn't go great, huh? What happened? I've missed it. Because that sounds terrible.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You didn't miss a thing, dude.

[Brian Redban]

You didn't have a good time?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I had a great time. I had a good time out here. I had a great time. I had a great time. This is unbelievable. You don't even know that you do it, do you?

[Brian Redban]

I'm not saying it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm not. I'm not.

[Brian Redban]

Hold on. What are we making fun of him for?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

He says everything twice. Like, I'm gonna go get the papers. Get the papers. I didn't even know I did that. I didn't even know I did that. This is unbelievable. This guy's broken. True. Broken. Human. You. You live alone?

[Brian Redban]

Yes. Yes.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Very good. Do you have any animals?

[Brian Redban]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you do for fun? What's a hobby of yours? I'm an artist. I paint. I do, like, street art, graffiti, stuff like that. Right, okay, that sounds about right. Any pieces that we would recognize. Do you have like, a George Floyd that looks like Kobe Bryant or anything like that?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What have you done? What have you. What. What are some of your biggest pieces of graffiti? I did a mural in. In First Street, Green park at one

[Brian Redban]

point or whatever it is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What was on the mural? It's a heart that's broken with a band aid on it. With a red band on it? No, with a band aid with a band aid on it. Okay. Wow, that's some real Brooklyn tough guy shit right there. Jesus fucking Christ Almighty. You said three years you've been doing this?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All of it in Brooklyn, In. Yeah, all over the city, around New York. That set you just did, is that some of your better stuff or is that like newer stuff or. It's a mix. Yeah, it's a mix.

[Brian Redban]

Uh huh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's a mix. It's a mix. You have a trademark, that's for sure. It's unbelievably annoying, but it's yours. There's a reason why no one else does it. I love it. What else, man? What else about your life before I get you out of here? That's pretty much it. I do comedy. There must be something about your entire life. You're here at Madison Square Garden, streaming around the entire globe right now. You have nothing interesting to say? I was born near Chernobyl. That's a. Oh, it's all starting to make sense. It's all starting to make sense. Oh my goodness. What kind of situation were you in where you were born near Chernobyl? Just living in Soviet Russia. That's the situation. That's the situation.

[Brian Redban]

No, Chernobyl was in Ukraine. Ukraine, right.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Well, at that time it was all the Soviet Union.

[Brian Redban]

It was close. How close were you?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

About 150 miles. Oh, yeah, that's totally within the range. That's why you nuclear bombed up here tonight. But that's what the show's all about. It's real.

[Brian Redban]

That's real.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That's. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

How old were you when that was going down?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Five.

[Brian Redban]

Oh. Developmental period. I'll be honest, I'm. I was like, like, yeah. I'm from Three Mile island, so I'm the, you know, I get it. Nothing wrong with that. Damn. I know it's funny. Whatever. What are the odds? The guy from Chernobyl on Three Mile island get. Did you know anybody that got up?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, everyone's. It was kind of far from the fallout or whatever it is, huh?

[Brian Redban]

Not far enough.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep. Far from the fallout. I never noticed any side effects. Side effects? I don't know anybody. That was fucked up. Fucked up, my friend. Take this little joke book, it's all yours. Oh, there you go. Side effect of nuclear fallout. Not being able to catch joke books. There he goes. Oleg Cutler. All different shapes and sizes of people. Let's go back to the legends bucket, shall we, huh? Well, this is a goddamn pleasure and a honor because ladies and gentlemen, this guy started. I can say with no ego, this guy started the Austin fucking comedy boom. Ladies and gentlemen, one of the all time great greats. I present to you, the one, the only, Ron White.

[Brian Redban]

Oh,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

they are on their feet.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I literally didn't know they were going to do this. I was standing over there watching the show like everybody else and they were like, I guess I can do this. We go to see Kill Tony a lot and in Austin and a couple weeks ago we went down to Mitzy's, which is the bar downstairs. And I was talking to a guy that I didn't know and I knew he was connected with our group somehow, but I didn't know how. And later I was talking to a guy that I did know and he told me the guy I was talking to earlier was gay. And I didn't care if he was gay or not. I just couldn't believe he was gay. He just didn't seem gay at all to me. Whatever the fuck that means. I guess I don't have gaydar. Whatever. I have paydar. So if you're selling pussy, Bing. 100% accuracy, 100% of the time. One tranny. But that was on me. I overlooked. Ask Jim Norton. I talked to him about it,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

but

[Brian Redban]

I guess I can't tell if someone's gay or not. When I was like 20 years old, I was in a gas station bathroom and I let a gay guy blow me. At least I think he was gay. He seemed gay to me, but I didn't call him out on it or anything.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thing.

[Brian Redban]

I guess if you had walked in the bathroom at that exact moment, we would have both seemed gay, but it was just him. I think it'd be great to be a gay guy because here's why. You like dick, right? Cause you're a gay guy and you have a dick. Perfect, right? I don't like dick at all, but I can't keep my hands off of mine. I like pussy, but I know if I had a pussy, I would ruin it. I would. I'd go straight to the sex shop and buy everything I could possibly cram into it. Every buzzer, rabbit ear dildos the size of traffic cones. Didn't you used to have a really nice pussy, Ron? I ruined it. Now it's where I keep my shoes. I had my friend sew some snaps on my pussy lips so I can snap, snap them shut and keep my shoes from falling out of my. Thanks very much. There you go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, holy, what's even happening here tonight? This is unbelievable.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

This has to be just the most crazy episode of Kill Tony ever. So many freaks coming out, Ron. Thank you for joining us. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Let me just. Just let me just say this. I've been watching this show for a long time, since the. I think the first time I saw it was in the main room at the Comedy Store and, you know, maybe 100, 150 people there. And what I've watched this thing become is a way to reach out. How many of you know, the funniest person you know is not a comedian. You just know a funny motherfucker somewhere. And that's where comedians come from. And Kill Tony has put a reach out there, and we're searching for the. These people. And not only that, but because of the mothership and the way we're set up in Austin, we have something to do with those people, once we find them, in a path to genuinely being able to make a living doing standup comedy. We're making that available to everybody. So thank you guys for being behind this 100% and making it the funnest thing. And we're all just looking at you going, we can't believe what's going on. And it's great to be back in New York City. Thank you very much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ron White. Let me just say before you go, there were so many of those episodes of Kill Tony when we first moved to Austin, because it was one of the only places that we could even do the show indoors in front of human beings during the pandemic. And you came through so many times as an emergency guest when we had nobody else in this city at the time. And we watched the whole thing grow and explode. And you're a huge part of that. So from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for being you. Thank you for existing. And you're one of the greatest badasses on planet Earth. One more time for one of the all time greats, Ron. Unbelievable. God damn it. So cool. Thank you, man. Ron White, ladies and gentlemen. And now we roll to another regular, everybody. You probably haven't seen this young man in a long time. He's been very busy on his own tours, selling out all around the country. No better time to use a big stage like this than for somebody who's gonna use it. I present to you an absolute freak of nature. This is Casey Rocke.

[Brian Redban]

Sam. Spoon, man. All right, cool. Hell yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Get real. I gotta get out of here.

[Brian Redban]

I'm gonna be late for my quinceanera. Physically fast, spiritually Latino. I.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, so cool. Little hat work.

[Brian Redban]

Get lost.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I.

[Brian Redban]

Come on now. I shouldn't have done that. All right, we're riffing. Lock the Exit I oh, it's been a tough week. Where was Stuart Little on 911 11?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I. We know he had an airplane.

[Brian Redban]

We know he had motive.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

If you can't have a family, no one can.

[Brian Redban]

All right, come on, get real. Oh, man, I haven't been this nervous since we held that car wash to save the football team. I You should have seen Coach. He'd never been happier. I You guys did this for me. I Get real. Give me one last minute. I Whatever.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, man, it's been a tough week.

[Brian Redban]

I was walking down the alleyway earlier and a bunch of those dudes from barstool sports beat the shit out of me again. Kept saying, what's the score of the jets game, pussy? I don't know, sir. I don't know, now, do I?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right.

[Brian Redban]

So, sassy people call me the Ric Flair of the New York comedy scene. Oh, yeah? Cause I expose myself to a waitress. Okay, come on. We got him. Casey.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Rocket. Thank you so much.

[Brian Redban]

We did it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen. He's done it again. The crowd is on their feet, signifying that the Crab man has arrived. And indeed, we are getting word from the officials here at Madison Square Garden. That is the fastest any artist has ever moved at a 180 degree angle side to side in the history of the building. Casey, you've done it again. How do you feel? Thank you for asking, Tony.

[Brian Redban]

I feel electric. All my friends are here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I was inducted last night into the Gambinas crime family.

[Brian Redban]

I'm so excited. Little Charlie, Charlie Daniels, Big Mike, everybody was there.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They gave me the special.

[Brian Redban]

The Cane of Truth.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is that? What is it? What kind of of power or history does the Cane of Truth have?

[Brian Redban]

Justice, Equality, Sanitation, Numbers. Rackets, racketeering.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, God.

[Brian Redban]

I. If you guys could get out of here, I'd like a moment alone.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You are a wild, wild boy, Casey. Rocket. How do you like New York City? I love it. I had got here yesterday.

[Brian Redban]

I had chick fil A. It was good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It was even better.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolute. Big chick fil a crowd.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, this is. New York is famous for their chick fil a. You can only get it here. Everybody knows that. Yeah, it's a gambinous thing.

[Brian Redban]

You wouldn't understand.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's true. Joe Rogan. What do you think about Casey?

[Brian Redban]

Rocket, I got your ring, bro. Oh, thank you. You lost a ring.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you.

[Brian Redban]

It's my wedding ring. For any of you guys out there who think that I can't. I could never get married. You were wrong. I got married. Amanda Pandemonium you ready? Open up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? Do you want. Wait, did you guys plan that out?

[Brian Redban]

You're definitely his friend. Dude, you're wearing a red and stimpy shirt. You're definitely the one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We got that on camera. Did, did, did anybody get that?

[Brian Redban]

Are you out of your mind? Can he keep that ring?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can he swallow it?

[Brian Redban]

Can he keep the ring?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. Hold that.

[Brian Redban]

Who are you with? You got to keep that ring. Who's that sitting next to you? You don't know? You're a plant, dude. Nobody catches with their mouth like that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

For those of you that missed it, which I'm pretty sure was 14,000 people behind him. The guy opened his mouth. Casey threw it directly into his mouth. He caught it in his mouth and then put it on his finger. Casey, do you know this, man?

[Brian Redban]

It was the perfect throw. He didn't. Perfect. Abruptly.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

That was crazy. Barely moved. He barely moved.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, it was a perfect throat.

[Brian Redban]

Wait, you had a plant the entire show that was just here to catch a ring in his mouth. And you trapped me. You trapped me into retrieving your ring, you clever bastard. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I. Did you hear the chink of his tooth? It was unbelievable.

[Brian Redban]

It definitely hit his teeth a little bit. Yeah. Where are you going to die? Swallow that. Oh, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So that's Amanda Pandemonium. That guy with a beard? That's right. Absolutely incredible.

[Brian Redban]

Amanda Pandemonium. My wife.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is your wife? It is a man. He caught the ring in his mouth. I mean, that was. It was like. It was like the show was only for the four of us. For a second there, I feel like

[Brian Redban]

the simulation is real.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That it was unbelievable.

[Brian Redban]

Red band and I know the stars.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Filming stars are lined up right now. Casey, Rocket in the zone. He's in full effect, chuckling with the cane of truth. He throws a ring, a man catches it in his mouth. What can I say that I haven't said a thousand times before? Casey, there's no one like you in the world. You've proven it again with Amanda Pandemonium. Thank you. Thank you, guys. What a pleasure.

[Brian Redban]

New York.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We did it. Ladies and gentlemen, KC Rocket. Yes. Thanks, man.

[Brian Redban]

Love you guys. Oh, wait, wait.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yes.

[Brian Redban]

I got to figure this out. It's impossible, though, cuz he dropped that ring and you picked it up. Yeah, I. I scrambled. Scrambled for it. I had to go underneath the curtain to get it. I saw it roll under the curtain. I grabbed it and you're just a regular guy by yourself that snagged out with his mouth. Is that the greatest moment of your life? That's crazy. It's pretty crazy you have a camera on that at all.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We did not have a. I don't believe we had coverage of that. For us.

[Brian Redban]

That's just for us.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's just for us. You're just gonna have to take our word for it.

[Brian Redban]

Trust us.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There was one man in the front that opened his mouth like that, and the ring went directly into his mouth. He smiled, spit it up, put it on his finger. It's right there. This is unbelievable. Back to the bucket we go. This is indeed bucket pool number six, I do believe. Make some noise for Manny Ramos, ladies and gentlemen. Manny Ramos.

[Brian Redban]

Let's go. Msg. What's going on, New York? All right, guys. I finally have a girlfriend, which is great.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love that.

[Brian Redban]

I hate dating.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Being single is fucking tough.

[Brian Redban]

Sometimes People are fucking mean when you're fucking dating. I know. I was on a date with this girl. We're having dinner, and I'm looking at

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

her, she's looking at me, and out

[Brian Redban]

of nowhere, she's like, you know what? It's all right that you're not six feet tall. You're a short king. It's kind of fucked up, you know? It's kind of like a double standard, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Short king.

[Brian Redban]

I can't be going out with, like,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

a thicker woman and just be like, hey, you know what?

[Brian Redban]

It's all right that you're a fat queen. Date's fucking done, right? It's not fucking cool. I'm just kidding, guys. I would never date a fat chick. Dude. Man, the thing that pissed me off

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the most about that date was that

[Brian Redban]

I'm five eight and this girl is five foot nothing. I'm a whole dick taller than you. Maybe not my dick. Anyway, that's my time. Thank you. Guys. Guys,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Manny Ramos. Welcome to the show, Manny.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you, Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How do you feel right now?

[Brian Redban]

It's surreal. It's pretty surreal.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long you been doing standup?

[Brian Redban]

Like, two and a half years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Where at?

[Brian Redban]

New York City, New Jersey. I'm from Jersey.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You're originally from Jersey?

[Brian Redban]

Jersey guy, yeah. New Jersey. Let's go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow. Yeah, we have a lot of fans from New Jersey. That makes sense. I could see how that would work out. What do you do for a living?

[Brian Redban]

I'm a camera guy and a lighting guy. I own a small business that rents out equipment to commercials and TV shows and stuff.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. Oh, the crowd is also a fan of cameramen for some reason. Very interesting. You're Mexican?

[Brian Redban]

Ecuadorian.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, same shit. Yeah. We don't have a sound effect for Ecuadorians. Obviously. What do you do for fun?

[Brian Redban]

I don't know. This. Rock climbing? Just bars. Hanging.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

I don't know. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You have a girlfriend?

[Brian Redban]

I do.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long you been with her? About a month and a half. What does she do?

[Brian Redban]

Whiskey stuff. She's gonna kill me.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Whiskey stuff?

[Brian Redban]

She's a whiskey rep. Manager. She's gonna kill me right now?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, not right now. In a couple minutes she's gonna kill you. Why would she kill you for that? Just out of curiosity.

[Brian Redban]

I don't know, because I feel like

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I always get her brand wrong. When else would it have ever mattered that you got our brand wrong? Except for right now. This would be the chance to get it right.

[Brian Redban]

Right? You get her brand wrong? Like during sex Money. Come on, man. That's what I scream out every time. It's her brand.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Screwball. Tiger.

[Brian Redban]

Thick whistling pig. I'm so sorry. Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely incredible. You have any special Ecuadorian moves in the bedroom, man?

[Brian Redban]

God. It's not really. Just my regular sized cock.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. What do you consider to be a regular sized cock? Just so that I can picture it in my head. Nothing gay.

[Brian Redban]

What will you picture for an Ecuadorian move?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, I don't really know, like eating pussy with one of those, like grapefruit spoons or something like that.

[Brian Redban]

Is that a cocaine spoon? Is that what that is?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's the spoon with the sharp edges at the end. But I don't know.

[Brian Redban]

Is that a fork?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What?

[Brian Redban]

A spork?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No, it's different.

[Brian Redban]

Don't be funny now. That's fair. Sorry, Shane. I mean, don't do that either. You. Shane, I don't know. What. That's good, that's good. There we go. There we go. There we go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Manny, what's the most interesting thing about. You have any hobbies other than stand up and camera work?

[Brian Redban]

I don't know. Not really. Rock climb. About time to wrap this up, huh? Yeah, that's fine. You can wrap me up. It's all good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. There he goes. Manny Ramos.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you, guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And gentlemen, There's a little joke.

[Brian Redban]

Buck. Hey. All right. I know you want me to get those glasses? Some of you guys.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm pulling from the legends bucket again. Oh, look at this. Look who's willing to share some material with us. This is absolutely incredible. One of the record holders for all time appearances as a guest on the show. You know him from the Legion of skanks. And the founder of Skank Fest doing a set for us. This is Luke is Jay Gomez.

[Brian Redban]

Wow,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

look at this. Hell yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Holy Madison Square Garden. Wow. Wow. I. I'll tell you guys, I. I love, I love eating pussy. I love it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Thank you, ladies. Thank you.

[Brian Redban]

And some guys. Thank you. I love eating pussy so much that I'm afraid that I'm gonna get mouth

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

cancer like Michael Douglas.

[Brian Redban]

Do you guys remember how Michael Douglas got mouth cancer a few years ago? From eating Catherine Zeta Jones's pussy. That was a big news story that actually happened. I can't get it out of my.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Anytime I go down to my girlfriend,

[Brian Redban]

I can't even get through the Alphabet. I'm like a baby cancer fuck. I can't do this anymore. But here's the thing. I love eating pussy so much that even if I got cancer, I would still continue to do it. I would still continue to eat pussy. I'd be like that woman in that commercial in the 90s who had throat cancer, but she was smoking a cigarette through the fucking hole in her neck. You guys remember that bitch? He was like, I fucking love smoking cigarettes so much. I will never stop eating cigarettes. She started slurping it up through a bloody hole in her neck.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We had to watch that at 3:30

[Brian Redban]

in the afternoon after Animaniacs. I love it. That's gonna be me. They're gonna put me in a commercial for mouth cancer awareness, right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They're gonna remove my lower jaw.

[Brian Redban]

I'm gonna. They're gonna interview me about how much

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love eating pussy.

[Brian Redban]

They're like, how much you love eating pussy? I'm like, ah. The cancers are gonna spread to my hands. They're gonna remove a few of my fingers.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All I can do is this.

[Brian Redban]

New York City. Thank you so much. Good night.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fucking unbelievable. Louis J. Gomez, another one of my New York brothers. Skank Fest is sold out. He runs literally the best comedy festival in the world. You guys know about it. Skank Fest exists. You know what? Why don't we go to the. Should I go to the Legends Bucket one more time? Let's do it again. Oh, dear Lord almighty, I present to you one of the front runners. From his very first appearance as a guest on the show for guest of the year, we forced him to come back as fast as we possibly could because the man fits into the show like a perfect puzzle piece. You know him from a lot of your favorite movies. This is Instant Kill. Tony Legend, Harland Williams. Oh, my God. Harland live in the flesh from Madison Square Garden.

[Brian Redban]

Wow. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Ma', am, if you could twirl your head around like a demented owl. Folks, I'm happy to be here. I'm gonna be honest. I'm a little under the weather. I have lyme disease.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And, well, don't laugh,

[Brian Redban]

but I've been seeing a lot of comedy here tonight, and it's been a little safe. It's been a little too easy. So tonight I'm going to do a joke that's definitely going to get me canceled. They're probably going to have to cut it out of the show. I don't care.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I'm going to do it.

[Brian Redban]

It's racist, it's anti religion, it's anti

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

women, it's anti trans, it's anti gay.

[Brian Redban]

I'm going for it. Fuck off. I don't care if I have Lyme disease. I'm fucking doing it. You ready? These three black trans walk into a gay bar with a Jewish guy, a Palestinian guy, and. Hang on. Sorry. Fucking Lyme disease. I can't finish. Fuck off. Off.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Harlan Williams, ladies and gentlemen. The Lyme disease got the best of them. Oh, my God. This is the craziest episode of Kill Tony ever. I present another bucket pool. Coming from the comedian section, this is bucket pool number seven, the comedy stylings of Jason King. Ladies and gentlemen, Jason King. Oh, big pop. From the New York comedians. This should be interesting. Make some noise for Jason King, Madison Square Garden.

[Brian Redban]

Make some noise.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hell, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I love walking out to music. I recently did a show where I walked out to Carl Douglas kung Fu fighting. You guys know that song? Yeah, I like that song. Because you never hear people write songs about other obscure skills, right? Like you. Like you never hear bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, niggas playing for his beat. I love that we're doing comedy like this, right? We didn't get to do comedy during the pandemic. But the one thing I do miss from the pandemic was the fact that we were able to put anti vaxxers through Jim Crow laws,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

right? We were like, you're not locked up

[Brian Redban]

anymore, but you can't eat here, Right? If you weren't vaccinated, you got treated like a black person in the 60s. It's like, hi, welcome to the restaurant. Are you vaccinated?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

No.

[Brian Redban]

We'll read the sign, nigger outside and put a mask on cause you make me sick.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I told that joke to my grandma.

[Brian Redban]

He's like, jason, how could you make a joke about Jim Crow?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I was like, well, grandma, this time I'm a white.

[Brian Redban]

I said that joke. I said that joke recently on a show and this white lady was like, that makes me. Thank you very much. I'm Jason King.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Fuck.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

A full set. Jason King from Queens, Rock solid set, representing New York. Very well.

[Brian Redban]

Yes, sir.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

How long you been doing stand up?

[Brian Redban]

It's gonna be five years later this year.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. Five years?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You do this for a living? What do you do for work?

[Brian Redban]

No, I'm a product strategist.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

I do stand up at night, but hopefully one day I could just do stand up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, that's true. That's how the magic happens. Tell us more about you. What else is interesting about your life?

[Brian Redban]

I've been producing music for 13 years.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What kind of music? All kinds of.

[Brian Redban]

I. I just. I mean, I think, like, music is

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

just kind of math.

[Brian Redban]

And if I think about it, it's all just different equations.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You sing, you make it on a computer. What do you do?

[Brian Redban]

All kinds on a computer. But I play guitar. I can't really sing. I won't. I won't put that kind of pressure on myself.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But you play guitar?

[Brian Redban]

I play guitar, yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Really?

[Brian Redban]

That's what you want? I'll do it.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you think?

[Brian Redban]

If you play something in B flat, I'll do it. If you play something in B flat, I'll do a solo. I'll take whatever guitar you want.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's go.

[Brian Redban]

Let's do it. Let's go. All right. Come on, let's go.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All right, let's see what happens here. Jason King grabbing. Wait, that's Marcus King. Wait a second. Are you guys brothers? They have dreams. This is the weirdest episode of White Men Can't Jump I've ever, ever seen.

[Brian Redban]

They was Kings. Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ladies and gentlemen, here's a little guitar solo from Jason King. One, two, one, two, three, four.

[Brian Redban]

Sam. Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I mean, this is kill.

[Brian Redban]

Tony.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You just watched a man have a great comedy set and then kill it on the guitar. Live from Madison Square motherfucking Garden, the greatest arena in the world. Jason, how do you feel?

[Brian Redban]

I feel fucking fantastic.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, you did it, buddy. Simply doesn't get any better than that. Here's a big joke, Buck.

[Brian Redban]

Thank you.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some noise for Jason King. That's how the magic happens right there. Absolutely incredible. You can't even make this up. Unbelievable. And now it's time for another regular. Ladies and gentlemen, this young man. I mean, what can I say? He's the only regular ever to be made a regular after one appearance. On his first scheduled appearance he went viral. Roll for liking rocks. I present to you the Madison Square Garden debut, but probably not his last time here.

[Brian Redban]

This is Cam Patter. What's up, New York? What it do? Yeah, yeah. This, this is my first time in New York, man.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And I.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I like it a lot.

[Brian Redban]

I like it a lot, man. Everybody say New York is a melting pot. It's a melting pot full of people. Everybody just in one place. Place.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know what I'm saying?

[Brian Redban]

And I, I, I don't believe that at all. You have Chinatown, Koreatown, Harlem, Spanish Harlem town. I mean, the Bronx

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

that's segregated as.

[Brian Redban]

Dog, it's not a real. It's a.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Why the city smell like piss, you

[Brian Redban]

know, this place is terrible. I was on the subway today and I seen a rat eating a homeless nigga.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I don't like this place at all.

[Brian Redban]

I thank you for clapping. Random white man in the back from Idaho. This place fucking sucks. It's strange. Everybody here, every person from New York is just rude as fuck.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They mean as hell, dog.

[Brian Redban]

And they like, yeah, you know. You know, it's just. That's just how we hear our personality in New York.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You rude.

[Brian Redban]

That's not a personality. Oh, we got pizza. We got pizza. It's delicious. The cheapest ever. Kill yourself.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That my time. Goddamn right. Speaking nothing but truths. Coming out to a. A ruckus. Standing ovation. Riding the wave. He's done it yet again. The future has arrived. Cam Patterson live from Madison Square Garden. What it do? What it do indeed.

[Brian Redban]

This. This crazy as dog.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yep, it's.

[Brian Redban]

It's insane.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It is. How big of an entourage did you bring here today?

[Brian Redban]

Well, I got the whole hood with me. Y. I brought 72 people, dog. We ain't massive square.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We going crazy. Y have my got on ankle monitors

[Brian Redban]

and it's wild, bro. They shouldn't be out of the state of Florida.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Brian Redban]

No, they're back there. They're. Yeah, they're ruining things. I was. They're back there. They're ruining it. They're ruining it. Hey, we need to lock up all the deodorant back there, cuz. They keep breaking it and taking it. You know the funniest. I just put you. I had deodorant in my pocket. Did you really? I swear to God, I'm so glad

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I took it out.

[Brian Redban]

It was.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I ain't put nothing on before I got here.

[Brian Redban]

And I'm like, you guys cut that out so we can go to Walgreens. What do you mean? Everybody in this goddamn arena knows what I'm talking about. Dude, stop stealing our Old Spice. We don't.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's not Old Spice.

[Brian Redban]

It's degree. That's the one I like. You guys are getting degree?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

All right, well, lock up the degree. Leave us the Old Spice. Give us.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Did you purchase the deodorant?

[Brian Redban]

Of course. Yeah, right. You rang the bell and still stole it. No,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

n. I was.

[Brian Redban]

I was trying to say, steal it and say, you can't. Patterson. Oh, people know me now. This is up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, you can't steal anymore. It's over. What else has been going on here in New York City? It's really your first time here? Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Wow. Yeah, I seen the Portal. I seen a little portal. The Dublin.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I flipped it off like, you Dublin. I don't give a about y'. All. This is gay. What about Dublin pussy? Nah, nah, nah. Up the ride. What does that even mean? Up the ira. Hey, I was sitting. I was sitting in the back with. With all.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

With all the.

[Brian Redban]

The special ones, you know,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Jared Nathan

[Brian Redban]

and Aaron Belial, and. And I was sitting on the floor, and David walked in. He was like, what you watching? The Recharge, nigga.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They got you in charge of the recharge cards?

[Brian Redban]

I just want to say that on

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Madison Square Garden, I just want to say three times in Mad Square Garden, four times. You did. I give you full permission. And I have a hard R Award, 2024. So I'm allowed to share it with who I want. And you have full permission. I wonder if this means I can say the NW too.

[Brian Redban]

No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay. All right.

[Brian Redban]

No, not even close. No.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it.

[Brian Redban]

You would say. You would say it all gay, too.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wait, is that your impression of me?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, that's. That's you. That's you saying gay. Unbelievable. They keep stealing Old Spice.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I can't believe you would steal Old Spice. That's unbelievable.

[Brian Redban]

That's what we need.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Cam, you've done it again, my friend. You came in, you absolutely ripped the roof off the joint. Everybody loves you. Make some noise for Cam Patterson. Hey, you guys think we should add one. One more panelist to the show? You think it should be one of the biggest comics in the history of New York City, Ladies and gentlemen, joining us. Nice enough, even though he had delayed flights all day. Oh, okay. Okie dokie. Thank you. Great stuff of. We're going to wait for that. You're going to wait for that, Everybody, he's using the bathroom. He's. I've been informed in my little tiny earpiece that he's using the bathroom. There's red band's one fart noise for the episode. The man has sold out Madison square Garden multiple times. Ladies and gentlemen, joining the show again, gracious enough to join us from many delayed flights, today, I present to you, Andrew Schultz. Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

He's back home, baby. Good.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is this the craziest comedy show you've

[Brian Redban]

ever been to New York? Let's make some noise.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, my God. Andrew Schultz joining the panel right now. How awesome. Stuck on the other part of the country all day and you made it. What a hero. A friend.

[Brian Redban]

Sorry I'm late, man. Lyme's disease.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Unbelievable. Andrew, you made it just in time for our. No, I didn't get one. Oh, okay. Well, the bucket pull is in the nosebleeds. I have been informed. Okay, let's go to the legends bucket while we get the guy out of the nosebleeds. Our final legends bucket pull. Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen, what can I say? Every once in a while, I just know that the roof is above to blow off this joint as I present to you one of the greatest guests in the history of the show, the 2023 guest of the year. This is Dr. Phil. Oh, it. Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

New York City makes a noise. If you're excited to be alive tonight, what a good show so far. Keep it going for kill Tony. Ryan redband. Joe Rogan. Shane Gillis. Andrew Schultz. The kill Tony bank. Keep it going for all the perverts in the crowd tonight. Okay? That's way more than I thought would announce themselves. Love New York City. Prepared a few statements for you guys. I love New York City. One of my favorite cities in the world. The city that never sleeps. The city that definitely always creeps. Okay. People licking their lips, having wet dreams during the day. Saw a guy today dressed as Elmo jerking off outside of a McDonald's. Turns out it was Brian Redband having himself a good old Friday afternoon dressed as Elmo. Jerking off while I'm trying to order a filet of fish. Fucking weirdo. Thanks for coming out, Brian. Been doing a lot. A big New York City day today. I went to two music museums, four parks, a Broadway show. Cam Patterson took me to Spanish Harlem, and n. Word town. Can't say the full thing, but you know what it is? Tons of shoe shops. Yeah, it was a full New York day. I packed in more than Pete Itty in a hot tub. And that's a joke that you can tell your kids before they go to bed. What else we got? So back to the future. Good musical. I wish I could go back in time in five years and fire Tony Stylist. I mean, Tony. You're dressed like a guy who runs a petting zoo over Zoom. No, I'm deflecting. I just want his shirt. Fits his body better than mine do. Got a quick knock, knock joke for you guys. You want to hear a knock knock joke? Sounded like the perverts again. Here we go. Knock, knock. Can ya. Can you do that thing with your hand, sweetheart, where you put it in the dishwasher for a few minutes so it gets extra clammy? Then finger my asshole. That's what Hans Kim texted my masseuse two nights ago. And now I have to find a new way to relax. Give it up for Hans Kim, by the way. He came all the way out here just to rip it up and suck it up. And I love Hans. I had to fake asthma so many times to avoid fighting his family. And I'll tell you what. I'll tell you this much. All right, that sounded better in my head. Let's move on. New York City, home of the Yankees. Give it up for your New York Yankees. These guys are sure they're a team. They're a team. They got 27 championships. 27. They're having a good year. Their pitching staff is struggling. The staff of the Yankees, their aim is about as good as Alec Baldwin on the set of the movie Rust. Have you seen that yet? I think it's on Tubi. I watched the some of the Olympics. You guys see that? French guy's hit the bar pretty hot. Tony, you see that? Oh, yeah, I know you did. Yeah, it was getting in the way. You know, tape that shit down. Which is also what the waiter tells David Lucas to tell his sandwiches so they don't run out of the rest. All right, let's move on. That one sounds fucked. Fuck. God fucking damn it. All right, I'm hearing these for the first time, too, so shut the fuck up. David Lucas is a Kill Tony hall of famer. So make some noise for that. That's a big deal. It's a big deal. Only a couple in the history. I think David Lucas looks like what shows up if you say Beetle gin and juice three times. Not bad. Andrew liked it. He just got here, so that's not bad. People say New York is famous for their food. They also say William Montgomery has the sex appeal of a special needs bathroom. Big stall. You can do what you want in there. Got one more knock, knock joke. Do you guys care for one More knock, knock joke real quick. I knew you wouldn't mind. Knock, knock. Doors. Hey, doors locked. It's me, Cam. I'm coming in through the window to a fat chick. All right. To be honest, didn't think it'd go that well. One more time for Camp Patterson. He's here. Still. Sweet guy with kind eyes. You know his dick hits the bar when he jumps over it. Brian Redband's here. Brian. Keep it going for Brian Redband. This motherfucker turned 50 years old last week. I thought he was 66, but that's father time. Red Band, Arby closed. That's Red Band's 9 11. I wrote that down. I thought that was funny. Red Band, you are truly just a wizard over there on the ones and twos. I love what you do. Every Thursday in Austin, Texas, Brian Redband has the secret show, which is what he calls exposing himself to minors so you can check out his Facebook page. Love the outfit. Red Band, who dresses you? Helen Keller. Helen Fuck. All right. Helen Keller.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Shit.

[Brian Redban]

All right, again. I didn't proofread this. Thanks, Michael. Yeah, let's try it again. Ready, Michael? I got two more alternative punchlines. Hey, Red Band, who dress. And then hit me with a little. What is it? Yeah, okay. Well, fucking you guys figure it out. Red Band, who dresses you? A stuffed animal. Red man. Who dresses you? Tony's butt plug guy. All right, we'll leave on that one. Red Band. Red Band. Red Band is a sexy looking guy. Red Band, you look like Keanu Reeves if Speed was on a short bus. So, same movie. Just bring the bus size down and make everybody all right. Red Band, how does your whole body look? Like a fupa. How do you pull that off? Party in the front. FUPA all over. Red Band looks like the only guy who texts. Postmates. You up? Trying to get some soup. Me and Cam Patterson are going to N Word town tonight. Here's a. I'm gonna do a few impressions. I'm close things out with a few impressions. You guys mind a couple impressions? This first impression is a Ray Romano comedian. Ray Romano. Sorry, I had a Mac and cheese portable in the car on the way over here. This is Ray Romano, comedian Ray Ramondo, watching Red Band have sex. Here we go. Oh, God. My next impression is. This one's a little bit better. It's a little. It's not. All right, stay with me. This next one is. This is Nicholas Cage getting a back massage from Tony Hinchcliffe. Oh, I'm gonna come. Ha. Not bad. One more impression for you. This final impression. And again, an honor to be up here one more time for the kill Tony world that you guys have helped create. Madison Square Garden. I saw this show 10 years ago at the belly room of the comedy store. Make some noise for you guys coming out and supporting one of the greatest shows, if not the greatest, in stand up history. All right, this last impression is. It's a doozy. This is president Joe Biden seeing a lollipop. Here we go. Seeing a lollipop. Hey, you're a sucker. You're a sucker. You're a sucker. Look at me here, sucker. I'm gonna lick you. I'm gonna lick you like a shucker. Hey, hey, You're a sucker. I'm gonna lick you. I'm gonna. I'm gonna shuck your dick. I'm gonna shuck your dick in front of a man. America. I'm gonna put it on pornhub. I'm gonna put it on grubhub. Come on. All right, that's my time. You guys are unbelievable.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dr. Phil. Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. You have done it yet again. It's absolutely mind blowing. What you have done on this show yet again is absolutely mind blowing.

[Brian Redban]

We could do it later, Andrew. That's okay. I appreciate the. The feedback, Tony. And I appreciate the love. You know, it's the Dr. Phil. We're doing the Beacon Theater on November 15th here in Los Angeles doing Dr. Phil Live. If you guys want to come out to that. It's no Madison square Garden, but you got to start somewhere, right, Tony?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Now, Tony, I know it's a big night for you. It's a big night for everybody in involved what a show so far, by the way. I mean, are you kidding me? One after the other. But Tony, I know that Brian had a birthday last week and, you know, your show's as good as your. Your, Your second, your. Your. Your one, two, punch, whatever the cent. Kevin Bacon once said, you know, you can only do. So you need a guy doing queef noises, I think Kevin Bacon said. And so, Brian, you turned 50 and I got you a gift. What do you get the guy who can get every virtual reality headgear, video game system? So my assistant Norm, we. There's a sweatshop in Taiwan. They don't make clothes, but they make pastries. So we got Brian Redband 16.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Brian Redban]

Penis cookies or cakes? I don't know. To be honest. I don't even like that I'm holding it right now. But you can eat it or suck it. Bright, it's you Know, whatever. But I wanted to sing Happy Birthday to Brian real quick because it was his 50th birthday last week. Can we do that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let's do it.

[Brian Redban]

Brian, take one of these. Here you go, baby. Take one of those.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is it possible to eat it with our butt?

[Brian Redban]

What's that?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can I eat one with my butt?

[Brian Redban]

You can do whatever you want if you put your mind to it. Tony, wait. Ask me that one more time.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Can I eat it with my butt?

[Brian Redban]

We'll be right back.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Do it, Dr. Phil. Lead us in it. I'm with you.

[Brian Redban]

Here we go. You guys want to say here we go? 1, 2, 3. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Come on. Happy birthday, dear Red Band. Happy birthday to you. Thank you. I love you guys. New York City. Thank you so much for letting me come out around. Happy birthday, Brian Redback Kill Tony, I love you. Good night, New York city.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Good night, Dr. Phil. Wait a second, wait a second. One more thing, guys, before you go. We've noticed that you've always.

[Brian Redban]

What a. You're blocking my exit.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I know, I know, I know. I like to surprise people every once in a while. And I know that you are very close with unbelievable comedian Adam Ray. I've noticed that you've always plugged his stuff.

[Brian Redban]

Got to. Yeah, he's. I follow a couple Jewish comedians and he's one.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And while he's not here.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah, I know.

[Brian Redban]

Second one I could think of.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Crazy reference.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, he's not here tonight. I got word that his parents are here and you're here, which is incredible. So I figured, let's do something special. So if you want to look at one of these big, giant screens. Let's roll it. Little something special for you, Adam. You've been on the show many, many times before. He's one of those guys, you know, I'm a little bit dark. Dark. A little bit strategic. He's a little bit silly and fun. But for some reason, 16 years we've been doing this together. And we. When we get around each other, we have such a fun synergy. We have so much fun. He was in the movie the Heat. You can see him touring all around the country. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Adam Ray. Everybody is here. Adam Ray and Matt Bronger, everybody. And Adam Ray.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Adam Ray, everybody. The amazing Adam Ray. Adam Ray.

[Brian Redban]

Adam Ray.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Adam Ray, Everybody.

[Brian Redban]

Adam Ray.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Dr. Phil.

[Brian Redban]

Adam Ray.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Make some notes for Elaine, her first time on the show.

[Brian Redban]

Dr. Phil. Doctor Mr. Phil.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

The real president of the united states of america. This is joe biden.

[Brian Redban]

Tony, what an unbelievable experience it is. What a great show this could be. Instead we've got an absolute idiot here running the show. Who just my pants. Ain't nobody forgot about your Rogers looking ass. Hey, hey, easy. Michael Clark, Dunkin Donuts. That's not fair. That's not fair.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You've got issues.

[Brian Redban]

When I talk about that in chapter 16, about my own personal, personal struggles.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Charlie's listening to a totally different podcast right now.

[Brian Redban]

Charlie's listening to Theo Von right now. Yeah, man. My principal was a raccoon, man. It been hit me. I'm gonna play Christian's dad. And Christian, you play yourself in this.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

There's no way you could it up. Christian, this is your father.

[Brian Redban]

Hey, who is it? This is Mayo. Is that the be the delivery guy? You should. You should vote for me. I. I stood for blm Black Large.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

We just had an amazing weekend in Texas in Austin. Yeah, you sang at the goddamn comedy jam and you killed it. One of my favorite.

[Brian Redban]

I tried way too hard.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You are like a real singer.

[Brian Redban]

Laughy Taffy. Willy Wonka is my dealer. Happy New Year. I think I got a massage from you in Grand Theft Auto as being raised by a sweet Jewish single mom. I can't let you sleep in your car tonight. I'm going to get you a hotel for three nights here in Austin. All right?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, look at that. Oh my God. Wow.

[Brian Redban]

Just keep grinding, man. I can't do that.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, okay, go on.

[Brian Redban]

But hey, but hey, but just keep hustle, man. And crush that job interview on Wednesday. And don't you fucking jerk off in the La Quinta lobby. Hold up. What if I got your plane ticket and flew you out and you can host the whole weekend? It is with mixed emotions or maybe great pleasure that I award The Kill Tony 2023 guest of the year to Adam Ray as Dr. Phil, guest of

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

the year, Rest of the year, Adam Ray, Dr. Phil.

[Brian Redban]

I travel the world. I've seen everything. And tonight has been the greatest night of my life. Come here. When you sign up for Kill Tony, you try your best.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You hold it on your side.

[Brian Redban]

It's love. And if you strike out, go back home and call me for a titty pup Everybody call me for a titty bug Call me for a titty puff Touch my head in my back Kia Forum. We'll be right back.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You figured it out.

[Brian Redban]

Probably.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But you are indeed the newest member of the Kiltoni hall of Fame. The first ever guest to be inducted into the Kiltoni hall of Fame. The first non regular into the Kiltonee hall of Fame, Adam Ray. A game changer in the history of the show. Nowhere better than now for it to happen. Truly one of the funniest human beings on planet Earth. Elaine. Dr. Phil, Joe Biden. This is Adam Ray, ladies and gentlemen. Wow. One more time for Adam Ray, ladies and gentlemen. And now, why don't we get one more regular up here? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a master of the art form of roasting. This is Kill Tony hall of famer David Lucas.

[Brian Redban]

Sam. Being a comedian, we don't do much during the day, and I felt kind of like my life wasn't worth shit, so I started volunteering. I started volunteering at the cancer research center. And it's kind of neat because you get to meet people who are more fucked up than you. And I met this 29 year old girl who had six months to live. And one of her last dying wishes is that she wanted to get her pussy ate one last time. And of course I volunteered. You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Hey, it's so funny because every time

[Brian Redban]

she would orgasm, she would flatline. It was like, beep. I'm like, goddamn, bitch. And it's so weird because all you women think y' all be doing some shit when y' all be shaving or waxing y' all pussy. Let me tell you, wax pussy ain't got shit on chemotherapy pussy. Nigga, that is. That is the smoothest pussy in the world. Nigga, that. That shit was like a manatee's back.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You know what I'm saying?

[Brian Redban]

That shit was rain resistant. Water was dripping off of that motherfucker. I'm trying to get my girlfriend to get cancer.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Now I'm like, God damn.

[Brian Redban]

I be blowing cigarette smoke in her face. I got that bitch sleeping next to a microwave. Like, come on, bitch, what the fuck we waiting on? All right, thank y'.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All. That's my time. Fuck yeah. Minute 50 from David Luke Lucas.

[Brian Redban]

Hell yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I love it. That was great. When you were. When you were done eating her, did you eat the rest of her, Tony,

[Brian Redban]

for selling out Madison Square Garden? We gonna find somebody to eat your pussy tonight. Oh, you dress like one of them female secret agents for Donald Trump when he got shot. Oh, don't even know how to holster your gun. You pulled out a dildo to shoot at a.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

You look like the building that shoot shooter was on. Slanted ass roof on your head.

[Brian Redban]

You, Tony, trying to hide your femininity in that all black. You out here. You that trans boxer in the Olympics. We know. We know what the you are, I hear. Beating on women in the name of the Olympics.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I thought the subway was underneath our hotel. It was. David, arriving earlier.

[Brian Redban]

Get your gay ass out of here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What do you have to say to this place? You're in Madison Square.

[Brian Redban]

Man, this is amazing, man. Thank y'.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

All. It's so good that Madison. Madison Square Garden gets to meet Madison Round Garden.

[Brian Redban]

Of course you would go somewhere in a garden in the last name, you fruitcake.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Right? Normally when you're around a garden, you put ranch dressing all over it.

[Brian Redban]

You look like the type of nigga that'll sit on a Venus fly trap. Bitch,

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I've actually done that before and

[Brian Redban]

I rhinoceros booty ass nigga.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

That is true. I am a rhinoceros booty ass retard.

[Brian Redban]

You can say the N word. You gay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

They can't cancel you the. No, I can't say it.

[Brian Redban]

Hell yeah, man, this is a great cast. Joe got one of the Grinch's jackets. That shit is crazy.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And you're the one that stole Christmas and. And Easter and Halloween.

[Brian Redban]

I ran out of gay jokes for Tony. I gotta get him somewhere else. Man, you red.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, I'm sure you'll find seconds somewhere.

[Brian Redban]

God damn. Andrew, help me. Andrew just sitting there looking like he sell time shares in Dubai. He ain't even smoking. Would even help me. You Abu Dhabi real. Go back on Tony. Go back on Tony or Joe's jacket. Andrew, you look like you about to do the tubi version of Adolf Hitler. Your ass talk about Joe. Hey, Joe Rogan look like a strong ass Howie Mandela. Joe looks like Kermit. The frogs are gay. Joe look like your elementary school teacher when you see him in public. That nigga Joe Teach bow and arrow, nigga.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

David, I absolutely love you, but we're running out of time. I gotta get him out of here. Hall of Famer Kill Tony legend David Lucas. And as the clock ticks, that means that we are down to one. The chosen one indeed. Not only is he a Kill Tony hall of Famer, he is the record holder for all time appearances on this show, all time interviews on this show. And the streak continues week after week after week. The iron man of Kill Tony. An unstoppable force. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you. You the King of Queens. The Bronx Bomber. The Harlem Heater. The Chelsea Chunkster. Ladies and gentlemen. The Vanilla Gorilla. The Memphis Strangler. This is the Big Red Head Machine.

[Brian Redban]

William Montgomery. How's it going, new york?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I actually had to sleep in the rental car last night because when I

[Brian Redban]

walked into my hotel room, Yalls Governor

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Kathy Hochul was in there with four Venezuelan guys. What's the difference between the NBA and the wnba? NBA players.

[Brian Redban]

Don't peg me. Y' all know Caitlin Clark ain't ever gonna stop sticking shit in my blood. Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And for the Olympic closing ceremony, France

[Brian Redban]

is going to raise Jesus from the dead just so they can hang him again.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

It's weird.

[Brian Redban]

I wonder why France didn't involve the

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

prophet Muhammad in the opening ceremony. News flash.

[Brian Redban]

Red Band thinks the spin doctors went to medical school.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay, that's my time.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I was talking about you, dumbass. Don't look at me like that, you fucking idiot.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

And the streak continues for William Montgomery. Already talking shit to Red Band in a stunning turn of events. So nice to be here, Madison. Madison Square Gardens. I've never been to Madison Square Gardens before, but I'm gonna be honest. This is one of the best venues.

[Brian Redban]

I've never been to the Gardens before, but it is beautiful in here.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Love Madison Square Gardens. I mean, I've never been to a. It's not plural, William. It's Madison Square Garden. Gardens. There's no s. Madison Square Gardens. That's what Red Band told me earlier. He's telling everybody back there. It's fucking.

[Brian Redban]

Wait, hold on. I'm actually getting a call on my Bluetooth right now.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Let me answer this.

[Brian Redban]

Hold on.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I can meet you at the Hampton Inn.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Red Band, it's actually your mom. I'm actually talking to your mom right now on my fucking Bluetooth.

[Brian Redban]

That old slut loves fucking New York City.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

But yes, Red Band looks none too pleased that his mother's calling. You hope he's gonna say something. I hope you guys have a good time.

[Brian Redban]

Oh.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Ever since we sang Happy Birthday to him, he's been a changed man. Yeah, I don't know. And what's that stupid couple doing leaving right there? I mean, I'm already having the set of my life right now.

[Brian Redban]

Who the are you two idiots?

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Wow.

[Brian Redban]

Somebody kill those two. I'm having the set of my life

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

up here right now. Ah.

[Brian Redban]

Okay.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Well, got it. That is a weird.

[Brian Redban]

It is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Is a long walk leaving Madison Square Gardens.

[Brian Redban]

It is.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Yeah. I'm so excited to get with redbay with mom later and just have a

[Brian Redban]

lot of fun tonight in New York.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I actually was at freaking. I was trading stocks today down at Wall Street. I've. I've lost $60,000 in the recent stock

[Brian Redban]

market thing that happened.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

So, Yeah, I think I Might move here. I got to start working on my stock, so. Tony, we will see and I do know know socks and red bands are going to go. Okay.

[Brian Redban]

Aboard, aboard. I messed that up.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

I think you meant red band's mom.

[Brian Redban]

His mom. Oh, my gosh. Thanks so much.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

What is this? What is it?

[Brian Redban]

Eat it. Eat it. Was that like a donut or something? Eat it. Wow. That was in my. Your mom's earlier.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Oh, red band got you pure revenge. That was in your. Okay. Red band came up with. That's what he said. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Whoever called that's gay as. Yeah.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

William, anything else you want to say to these people? Just so excited. If anybody know wants to know where

[Brian Redban]

I'm gonna be tonight? I'm gonna be at the white cage

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

in Spanish Harlem at 103rd. I used to live up there for

[Brian Redban]

three fucking months with Darla the stripper

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

when I lived in New York City in 2012.

[Brian Redban]

I will be at the White Castle on 103rd tonight. And I ain't ever gonna stop eating at that White Castle.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

William Montgomery has done it yet again, ladies and gentlemen. And that. That is indeed tonight's episode of Kill. Tony. Did you guys have fun? So many people to thank. Joe rogan, andrew schultz, shane gillis, jelly roll, andrew dice clay, big j okerson, jim norton, Dr. Phil, harlan williams, Louis J. Gomez. All the regulars, all the golden ticket winners. We have to get off the stage in less than three minutes or we have to pay $300,000. We love you. Thank you.

[Brian Redban]

Good night, everybody. Love.

[Tony Hinchcliffe]

Watch Joe Rogan's new special out on Netflix. Tire Season 2 coming soon and everything, of course, Andrew Schultz. Killing it around the world. New York, York, we love you. To those of you lucky enough to be here tomorrow, we present an entirely different show. We love you. Thank you. Good night.

[Brian Redban]

One more time for Tony, everybody. Let him hear it. My mom's a nice woman. Sa.