40 Years Married: Why 'Stupid' People Stay Married Longer & The Truth About Money in Marriage - Dr. Charles Apoki

Summary

Podcast Summary: Konnected Minds Podcast

Episode: 40 Years Married – Why ‘Stupid’ People Stay Married Longer & The Truth About Money in Marriage

Host: Derrick Abaitey
Guest: Dr. Charles Apoki
Date: November 7, 2025

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Overview

In this engaging episode, host Derrick Abaitey sits down with Dr. Charles Apoki—a Nigerian medical doctor, preacher, entrepreneur, and marriage mentor who has been married for 40 years. The discussion dives deeply and candidly into the realities of long-lasting marriages, the intersection of intelligence and ‘stupidity’ in marital endurance, and the crucial (and often misunderstood) role of money in relationships. Dr. Apoki uses vivid anecdotes, humor, and biblical references to challenge prevailing notions and offer insight on sustainable relationships, financial partnerships, and purpose-driven unions.

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Key Topics & Insights

The Surprising Longevity of ‘Stupid’ Marriages

• Dr. Apoki claims that, paradoxically, being “stupid”—or rather, being willing to let go of logic, pride, or the need to “win”—is essential for marital longevity today.

  “For you to remain married, you must be stupid for this generation. Intelligent people don't remain married for long.” (00:00, 06:03, Dr. Apoki)

• He argues that logical, strictly rational people often don’t last in marriage due to an inability to handle the irrational or emotionally charged friction that occurs over time.

The Evolution and Power Dynamics in Marriage

• Drawing from scriptural, psychological, and personal experience, Dr. Apoki observes that women often become more assertive, independent, and financially empowered as marriages progress, leading to shifting dynamics that challenge men’s sense of control or authority.

• The importance of adaptation:

  “You marry one woman, but as life goes on, she’ll evolve many times. You are eventually married to, like, six women, even if it’s the same wife.” (03:00)

• Attention and admiration are deeply wired needs for women, and when these diminish, it can breed dissatisfaction or even infidelity—not out of love for another, but out of a craving for validation.

  “The first thing a woman heard when she was created… was praise. So they always like praise.” (10:47)

Why Many Marriages Break Down after 40

• Physical aging, financial independence, and changing interests or values can create emotional distance and resentment.
• Men and women both undergo pressure—men to succeed and women juggling multiple household and emotional roles.

Advice for Men: Faithfulness, Respect, and Purpose

• Dr. Apoki credits his longevity in marriage to personal discipline (“I've never committed adultery in 40 years”), purposeful living, and always seeing himself as a role model for the wider community.

  “Have a mental image of your wife at a certain age; use it as a ‘screen saver’ to guard your thoughts.” (13:13)

• See marriage as a responsibility that extends beyond yourself and your spouse—family, legacy, and societal modeling matter.

• Marriage is likened to ‘pepper soup’: enjoyable, but not without tears and difficulty—requiring endurance, humor, and mutual respect.

  “Marriage is like drinking pepper soup… you will sneeze, tears will come from your eyes… But as you drink, you realize we are in this for life.” (15:15)

The Changing Nature of Modern Relationships

• Dr. Apoki laments the transactional, hyper-sexualized focus of younger generations, driven by media and pop culture, rather than building shared purpose or responsibility.

  “Sex in our time was never a hobby. Now it’s seen as entertainment—shared like Coca-Cola.” (20:15)

• Both assert that mutual respect and adopting a ‘contributory, not consumptive’ mindset in marriage is crucial for longevity.

The Crucial Role of Money in Marriage

• “Finance for romance to be enjoyable… Sex in one room without fun is exercise and punishment. Sex in air-conditioned accommodation in a beautiful environment is called love-making.” (22:55, 00:25)

• Regardless of a woman's financial independence, she often still values money or effort from her husband as a form of love and appreciation.

• Building collective wealth through delayed gratification, shared enterprise, and sacrificial savings is advocated over flashy consumerism.

  “When a woman contributes to cooking the meal of the future, she rarely squanders it.” (29:03)

Identifying the Right Partner

• Indicators of a capable wife include industriousness, responsibility, mental capacity to support a vision, and willingness to learn and adapt.

  “Don’t let your erection give you direction when your brain is strong downstairs.” (33:31)

• Relationships should be founded on observation, shared dreams, and “meeting at the level of heart—not just the brain.” (38:31)

Navigating Shifting Financial and Social Power

• Men must not be intimidated by women’s success, but should continue to grow and contribute.

  “A woman is not interested in the quantity of money, but in your efforts to contribute.” (41:41)

• Both partners must continually upgrade themselves—academically, financially, and in skills—otherwise resentment or lack of respect can enter.

• Providing for the family is non-negotiable:

  “Even your children will not respect you [if you don't provide].” (56:50)

Practical Financial Principles – The “Apoki Formula”

• Dr. Apoki’s formula for productivity:

  P = G × E × S⁴ / C

  • P: Productivity
  • G: Grace of God
  • E: Effort
  • S: Strategy, Sustainability, Savings, Structures/Systems
  • C: Constraints
    (66:51 – 71:50)

• Emphasizes frugality, investing in real assets (especially land), labeling money for specific purposes, and living minimally.

  “When you pay your dues, men will pay your bills.” (81:17)

Discipline vs. Motivation

• Dr. Apoki’s final perspective:

  “If you motivate an idiot, he becomes a dangerous idiot… Motivation without discipline leads to inconsistency and irresponsibility.” (81:25)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On being “stupid” in marriage:

  “Sometimes you need to be foolish to remain married.” (54:25)

• On mutual respect:

  “Don’t think that because you are older than your wife by five years that she’s a small girl. Never underestimate a woman.” (17:38)

• On financial provision:

  “The Bible says, a man shall provide for his family… Whosoever does not provide… is worse than a non-believer.” (56:50)

• On legacy and effort:

  “If I can’t train these children, they will hate my God.” (65:15)

• Best advice ever received:

  “Buy land.” (82:45, 82:55)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Why ‘stupid’ people stay married: 00:00 – 06:54
• How power and roles shift over decades: 06:54 – 13:08
• Advice for sustaining marriage as a man: 13:08 – 20:05
• The modern marriage crisis: 20:05 – 22:48
• Finance, romance, and contributions in marriage: 22:48 – 33:27
• How to choose a responsible partner: 33:27 – 39:41
• Women’s financial and personal empowerment: 39:41 – 50:15
• Sacrifice, purpose, and providing as a husband/father: 50:15 – 65:49
• The Apoki Formula for Productivity: 66:50 – 78:10
• Minimalism, investment, and living within means: 78:10 – 81:17
• Discipline vs. Motivation: 81:22 – 82:41
• Best advice and book recommendations: 82:45 – 83:27

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Book Recommendation

• “Gaining Favor with God and Man” by William Thayer (83:06)

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Conclusion

Dr. Charles Apoki offers a refreshing, unvarnished, and practical look at marriage, money, and the mutual ‘work’ required to sustain a partnership over decades. Using blunt humor, biblical wisdom, and raw personal anecdotes, he advises listeners to approach relationships with humility, adaptability, financial discipline, and above all, purpose.

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For more, connect with Konnected Minds Podcast and Dr. Charles Apoki via the links in the episode description.

Transcript

[A]

I have been married for 40 years. For you to remain married, you must be stupid for this generation. Intelligent people don't remain married for long. Every day there are three things that will happen that can cause divorce as they get to the age of 40. Then the next thing is to know that your marriage is beyond two of you.

[B]

Why is finance very important?

[A]

Finance to be enjoyable in one room without fun is physical exercise. And punishment in an air conditioned accommodation in a beautiful environment is called love making.

[B]

What really is the value of a man without money in marriage?

[A]

I don't want to get into trouble. Even your children will not respect you.

[B]

Welcome to Connected Minds Podcast. My name is Derek Abayte and I'm your host. Thank you so much for being a part of the family and always tuning in to our beautiful conversations that are changing mindsets and fixing problems. We have a master class that is happening in January 2026 and we are picking the people who want to attend this master class. I'm going to leave all the details in the description and also in the comments so that you can show up to this master class. For entrepreneurs, especially those in the diaspora. I have got my second guest from Nigeria, Dr. Charles Apoki. Yes. The man is in the studio with me today. He's been married for 40 years. He helps people with finance and also marriage advice. He has so much skills that I'm not exactly sure how this conversation is going to be turning around. But today we really want to want to delve into marriage and finance and what we can do to help our relationships, our partnerships and the spouses that we have in our lives. What decisions should we make and what should we not be making? So stick with me and don't move anywhere. You're welcome to the studio. Dr. Charles.

[A]

Thank you so much for having me. Connected Mind Studios in Accra, Ghana. VI beautiful Ghana. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much.

[B]

How many times have you been to Ghana since you started this, your journey?

[A]

I've been to Ghana about four times.

[B]

I have some statistics here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I just want to throw the statistics in before we really get deep into the conversation.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There is a data from South Africa in 2022 that says that on divorce data that says 55% of divorces were initiated by the women in the marriage. Why do you think this happens?

[A]

You see when men approach women, they go for what they are seeing. They go for the color, the coils of the hair, of the hair, C number two. They go for the curves, they don't go for the character, the capacity, the competence. And how. And the chemistry, because so much happiness. Hormones or love? Hormones. Oxytocin is secreted. They don't reason well, they don't calculate well. They are fascinated by the voice. In Nigeria, you know, there's an undue emphasis on Botox now, instead of brains. And Botox has expiring date. Botox and breasts, they have expiring dates, but the brain does not have an expiring date. It is where inspiration. It is where the man will be inspired. So when you go into marriage, in the course of marrying, for these 40 years, I've married that one wife, according to Lumide, Emmanuel, will evolve six times. And so you will eventually get married to six women, even though you are in a monogamous marriage. And so when you are marrying this woman, when you marry this woman, most times your mental capacity might be higher than her own. Your education might be higher than her own. Finances will be higher, your experience. But as time progresses. There is a Bible passage that says, your desire shall be for thy husband. The real interpretation, and I want you to Google it, it means, your desire shall be to control your husband. That's why God said, and he shall rule over thee. If rule and authority was not involved in the desire for thy husband, they wouldn't have brought that. So you see the woman, you marry the woman, she's very submissive in the beginning, even subservient. As time progresses, she has had union, she has had the daughter. Her roots will start sinking into the ground. And then if you are not, if she is financially independent, her income might start increasing. And then you will find out that there is this control. You want to come in? I have been married for 40 years. And I said that for you to remain married, you must be stupid for this duration.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Logical people, intelligent people, don't remain married for longer. Bill Gates, Wale, Shoenka, a host of them. Because you will reach a stage in life. Your wife will annoy you, she will misbehave, she will do something wrong, she will start crying. You will need to apologize to her for crying, for doing something wrong. And if you are logical, you won't do that. So for you to remain married, because it is you that went to bring her, you brought her assets and liabilities. So if she offends you, she does something wrong, you don't wait for her to apologize. Women might never apologize.

[B]

So you think men have more to lose in marriage than women?

[A]

I have not said that. Men that will have more to lose are men with reputation. You don't know my wife My wife is not here. My wife is not doing podcasts. My wife is not doing. Is not preaching. So I have more to lose in terms of popularity, responsibility, privileges. Flying from Lagos to this place, Accra, you needed to see the way people have been treating me. Security personnel. I met a Ghanaian, Emmanuel Odati Lampte. He took me to the executive lounge of the Muritala Mohammed airport, bought food for me because of my podcast. Assuming I now mess up with my wife or do something wrong, you will find out that I have gone. I will go down in his sight. So as the woman is getting older in marriage, she starts to control your driving. Don't they control your driving? You. Why are you looking at me like that?

[B]

Your wife, maybe she hasn't gotten there yet.

[A]

She has not gotten there yet.

[B]

I've only been married for. For eight years.

[A]

Eight years.

[B]

So she hasn't gotten.

[A]

Maybe you're a very good driver. So some of the things that, you.

[B]

Know, my wife would usually correct me about would be, oh, Derek, you know, don't put this shirt on.

[A]

Yeah. Why did you, you know, why. Why did you say this? For those of us who are preachers, they correct our preaching. Why did you say this? Won't Agnes think that you're talking about her? Why did you do this and do that? And the corrections will start bringing frictions, and then these frictions will increase because they are stressed too. A woman can trek up to 15km in the house, kitchen, here, there, there. She becomes a dramatist. She will sing for the children. She becomes an engineer, she's a cook. The pressure she undergoes is enormous. And then to add to that, when you are reaching a certain age bracket, the pressure on you to succeed in business, in ministry, in sports, will start separating you from her. When you don't have much in your hands, you can hold your hands to stroll in the streets as husband and wife. But when you have much in your hands, you don't hold your hands to stroll, excepting in old age. So there is going to be a gap, a gap of female staff, a gap of male staff, a gap of workers, a gap of interest of how the business should be run. I had to leave all my businesses that we started together for my wife. Why? Because at a point every day, there are three things that will happen that can cause divorce. If you want, I told her, if you want to buy a generator, let me know. Before I came back from travel, she has bought generator. These buildings. Before you put tenants, let me know. Before I knew it, she has put in tenants Then your tastes and your values will start differing, like seeing your house. Now it's as if I should go and break down my house. Because the fine touch and everything you see, differences in values and taste and aspirations will start coming. And then one thing that affects women that, that leads them to divorce is that as they get to the age of 40, gray hair will start coming on their head, their faces will touch, will start changing. Fat will be deposited one way, some way or the other. The tummy that carried children will start having striate gravidarum lines. And in her mind, you have not hated her, but in her mind, she is hating herself because the compliments she used to receive, she is no longer receiving them. If you park vehicles when a woman is walking past, she will look at herself in the reflection of the vehicles. Because the first thing a woman heard when she was created from the rib of Adam was praise. So they always like praise. So. And when she's not, she's not getting it, oh, you're looking good, you're doing this, you're doing that. Either because the husband has become very busy and she's not getting it from fellow women or other people. And then there's a problem that comes as the man is aging. He starts to dress better, more expensively, look better, drive better cars. Sometimes I go to work as old as I am. My. My workers will say, daddy, you're looking take away. Nobody tells my wife that because she has deposited fat, she has stressed herself. And so these women get frustrated, but they can't eat. And then if there is any man that is complimenting them, giving them attention in the gym, the gym where she goes for anything in the workplace, you will not see that she is attracted to that man. And then she subconsciously starts looking at you as if you don't love her. And then they can fall into sexual escapades. They don't even love that person. But just the fact that women like being complimented, men like being respected.

[B]

So what should we do?

[A]

What should we do as men, as men?

[B]

To support the wives?

[A]

To support the wives? Number one, fix a permanent. For me, this is 40 years I've married. I've never committed adultery. And I've traveled to the ends of the world. I've seen all kinds of women. I get seduced, I get tempted, I get attracted to females. Have a mental picture. Have a picture of your wife of a certain age. Fix it in your mind. Put it as a screen, as a screen guard. So that if I see a woman and I'm Attracted. The image of my wife superimposes on that image. So you have that mental image. Then the next thing is to know that your marriage is beyond two of you. This is both males and females now.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You should see your marriage as purpose and responsibility. There are millions of people that follow me all over the world. I was surprised that I got to London City Airport. A policeman saw me say, you are Dr. Charles Apoke. I was in a restaurant in Switzerland. The young man there recognized me. So I owe myself a duty that this marriage should last long because people are looking up to us and I must provide that model. So we need guardrails. Guardrails of the word of God, guardrails of mentors. I have had good mentors. Guardrails of models that you look up to. But you also must have a psychological reorientation to face reality. Okay. That the wedding ring is more than handcuff.

[B]

Talk to me.

[A]

The one you are wearing then this one is more than handcuffed. That you have chosen your prison mate for life. You chose. And that marriage is like drinking pepper soup. You have pepper soup in Ghana.

[B]

Here, I mean, it's pepper soup.

[A]

We can. There's a crap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's pepper soup in Nigeria. It's very hot. As you are drinking, will be hot. You will sneeze. Tears will come from your eyes. You will see bone if it is fish, pepper soup if it is hot, drink water if you sneeze, wipe your nose. There are days you will wonder, particularly in these first few, first five years of life, you will wonder why you married this person. You will wonder, particularly you as a man. You will wonder. And then you must realize that we are in this for life. And then, like as I said, you married her. Assets and liabilities. One of the problems I said earlier on is that of disagreement and argumentation. Men want to be very rational and logical. Women are very emotional. That's how they were created. And that's why she agreed to marry you. If women were to really analyze, I don't think my wife will have married me. In fact, they should be paying my wife for marrying me. They should be paying her, as you have child support. They should be paying my wife husband wife support. Because it's not easy marrying a crazy man like me. So you wonder why Gaddafi was married. Osama bin Laden married these women. They expand to accommodate us. We too, we need to expand our minds to realize that if I could make this woman change her father's name to answer my father's name, I have won the greatest argument in life. And I don't need to win an argument with her. You understand me, sir? You change your. You. You change. Your wife changed her father's name.

[B]

To take my father's name.

[A]

To take your father's name. You have won the greatest argument. And so you don't need to win arguments with your wife. Some men don't understand that. They want to put it to her. I put it to you. I put it to you. No, you don't. And then we must learn to respect them as persons. You had females in your class. Not so. I had girls in my class and they were the most brilliant because they didn't do the things we were doing. They didn't go and do drinking and smoking and cult and all that. They passed more than us. And if this lady is a medical doctor, you should respect a woman as a person, as an entity. It is this mutual respect between the two individuals. The Bible says when we pastors quote, wife, submit yourselves to your own husbands. The preceding verse to that was submit yourselves one to another. If dogs fall for each other, that's how the play of dog is sweet. You will see the mother of the dog will fall and then the child will come on top. That is the way marriage is supposed to be. Don't think that because you are older than your wife by five years that she's a small girl. Never underestimate the power of a woman. Somebody that you always kneel down for. We worship our wives. If we want to go to Jerusalem, we kneel down. If you go from front, you will kneel down. You go from behind, you kneel down. That is an altar, a shrine. And you must learn to respect her. Even kings kneel down. They worship their wives before they go to Jerusalem. If you pass behind, you will kneel down. You pass in front, you will kneel down. They deserve some respect and admiration. And if this mutual respect and admiration is not there and every person is claiming rights and privileges without responsibility. Responsibility comes before rights and privileges in marriage. What is happening with young girls today and young men is the claim for rights and privileges without responsibility and appreciation.

[B]

In your view, are marriages lasting longer now in our time or less compared.

[A]

To yours, your time and our time?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

My time is not the best time. My parents time, you understand? There was, there were. The emphasis was on family and not marriage and not the things we're emphasizing now. Okay. Orgasm was not part of our mother's thought process. We have introduced the word orgasm to young girls. And so size of cucumber size of cassava. The songs we are singing today are appealing to the flesh rather than the soul of the people. And so the flesh is never satisfied. You can never satisfy a woman sexually because it's like drinking Coca Cola on a hot day with a toothpick. In fact, the more you drink, the thirstier you become. And so young people today, they are seeing sex as a hobby. They are seeing sex as entertainment. In fact, they are looking at it as sharing a bottle of Coke. And you see on social media, it is cucumber prank, long male organ that is used to entice women. And so we have created a psyche in their something in their minds that is always craving for sexual expression. It's different from I will love you tomorrow, I will love you all the way. If you. You understand that song, then 5050 love in those in our own time even. But before then it was a different if you marry taxi driver, I don't care those kind of songs. So the songs of today are sexually explicit and adventurous in nature.

[B]

And so you think in, in. In our time, we are not focusing on building the union.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. It is a transactional relationship. I give you my beautiful body, I make you have orgasm. Then you give me money and you give me comfort.

[B]

Why is finance very important in marriage?

[A]

Finance?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It takes finance for romance to be enjoyable. Sex in one room without fun is physical exercise and punishment. Sex in an air conditioned accommodation in a beautiful environment is called love making. So apart from giving physical orgasm, I've specified that you should be giving your wife's financial orgasm. Okay, let me explain something to you. This house, everything here. This cup is made of steel. Steel is from the soil. This is marble. It's from the soil. My shirt is from petroleum product or cotton is from the soil. Because we were made from the soil and we are sustained from the soil.

[B]

Right?

[A]

A woman was made from the rib of a man so she would derive sustenance from a man. If she happens to be independent, creating her own finances and earning more than you, she still remains and values that little sum that you give to her to appreciate her. Remember I said the first thing Eve had was appreciation.

[B]

Let me stop you here for a minute. We are on a journey of changing the minds and the lives of people. So if you haven't subscribed and become part of the family, please hit the subscribe button and turn on the notification. Thank you. Now let's carry on with the conversation. Why do they still want what we have even when they have More than enough.

[A]

It is because they were extracted from us. It is because of their physiology and anatomy. Let me tell you. You know, I'm a medical doctor. This is 41 years I've been a doctor. The female egg does not leave the body of the female. For only one egg, a man will ejaculate 250 million stem cells, and he will need a minimum of about 15 million sperm cells, active sperm cells, for only one, to fertilize her. Her egg and the zygote does not come out of the womb. It stays there until it turns to a child. So the best way to relate with a woman is not give her. Is not to give her consumptive mentality. Okay? Is to give her a contributory mentality.

[B]

All right, talk to me. What's the difference?

[A]

A consumptive mentality is you are. You are always giving to her to satisfy her flesh and her appetite. You are not building a future with her. You are creating. And because her appetite can never be satisfied. If you take her to Dubai, she wants to go to Lisbon, she wants to go to. To France, she wants. If you pay for first class, she's aspiring. That you go to with a chartered flight like Choma and Davido. You know, there's too much pressure on the Internet. Are you following what I'm saying? So when that is the consumptive side, the cost of the ring, the cost of that. The cost of that. Now, in my own case, we started with nothing and we knew we needed to contribute together to build a future.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

There was a life I had specified. Like I did a tour of six European countries, and somebody said that he dreamt that my wife entered his dream and was complaining that I left all the businesses for her to be doing. Then he was bold enough to call my wife. My wife said, my husband is doing what he told me when we were young. I told her I will marry her when she was 19. I was 21. I married her, she was 24, I was 26. That my husband is fulfilling what he told me that he was going to do later in life. I told her I wanted to have grandchildren all over the world. When we were preaching from church to church, she would tell me this one. You are teaching people about finance and all this. Make sure that when the people come to visit us, they will see something on ground. And so we started investing. We punished ourselves like slaves so that we could buy our freedom. So she told me that let us invest in such a way that if we don't want to travel to preach or do anything, or can stay in our houses and our homes and enjoy. And so it became a participatory building of the family.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Recently she said, you don't give me money. And you Talk on. On YouTube Financial Orgasm. Are you not giving me financial orgasm? Then I told her, bring the check booklets. She brought the check booklet. And we started calculating how much I had given in a month. And it was a large sum of money. Then she asked me a simple question. Did I use it to buy cloth for myself? Did I use it to buy food to eat for myself? Is it not the projects that the family has that I'm spending it on? And I was ashamed of myself because it is true. My wife builds every day at one point. All the cars I drive, she buys them at one time from our businesses.

[B]

Did you? Is it because you thought she was more capable of building the businesses than yourself?

[A]

You know women, the olden days women, or the visionary woman that you must create. You know, men, we take women to swimming pool, we take them to nine clubs, we take them to Dudurime. Ameno will buy Azo, we buy this, we smoke clothes. We are living in delusion. But when you bring a woman to reality and you let her know it is not there, and I will have to prepare it, we have to cook the meal to eat it. When a woman contributes to cooking a meal, when I mean meal, finance, future finances, she hardly spends it. But when a man has money, he spends like fire. Even the money you have given to your wife, I don't know, affordable me, when I indulge this, I'll bring all the money from preaching, from sale of books. But she was also selling. She would sit in the. In the trunk of the car, of the bus. Instead of going to sit with pastor's wives, she would sit in the boot of the car and be selling my books. I was producing intellectual, intellectual wealth, but she was bringing money from the intellectual world. Are you following what I'm saying? She would, when they tell her go and sit in the altar or the front seat, she will say, altar? No, they pay children school fees. That the altar does not pay children's school fees. When she has sold those books, to get that money from her to do something frivolous, you hardly get it. And she will staple books. My wife will have printing press. My wife can operate printing press. She will do many things to get that money. To do a frivolous thing, you can never get it. Because when a woman contributes to the economy, her money is like plantain leaves. You have plantain in Ghana here. Have you ever seen plantain leaves fall down when they dry? They stay by the side of the plantain. It's only mango leaves that fall down. If a woman is admitted in hospital, she might have money in her pocket, in her. In her purse. She will wait for the husband to pay the deposit for the treatment. Because there is a sense of when. During the First World War, when men were shot, they cried, mommy. They didn't cry, daddy. There is a sense of preparation for the future in case there is disappointment. She's looking at you, that anything can happen to you, you can die and your in law, your brothers can come there and throw her out. So she's trying to secure her future and the future of her children. And that's why women who contribute to the economy of a family, they manage finances better. And that's why the Grameen bank in Bangladesh found out that when you give micro loans to women, they manage the micro loans better. And they pay better, pay quicker. So for me, a contributory woman, when I mean contributory, she's working. Yeah, she manages finances better than the consumptive. There is a story of a man who was spending. You know, men spend money like fire. They spend money, spend money. The man was throwing money up and down. And from the money the man was throwing to the wife, the wife was collecting some. They didn't have a house in their village. The woman secretly went home, built a house, and then told the man, let us go back home. Let us go to your village. The man said, no, there are too many witches there. Not going. They got there. He saw a bungalow. The man was angry who built house in my father's land. Then the woman brought the house keys. He said, it is the money you were throwing away. The peanuts I collected. That's what I used to build this house. The man started crying. So women who are contributory, women you share a purposeful life with as a young man growing up. Yes.

[B]

How do you identify such a woman?

[A]

Okay, let's go to the servant of Abraham that went to look for a wife for Isaac. He said, the lady I would tell to fetch water for my camels will be the one. And she will to give me water to drink. And she will say, I will fetch for the camels too, will be the wife of my master. Why? Number one, she has to be able to entertain strangers, accommodate and show love for humanity, irrespective of their status. Number two, she was responsible in her father's economy. That was why she was Taking the flock to the water hole. And there were no other girls before her. So she has punctuality and a sense of responsibility. Moses married Zipporah. Zipporah was also a shepherdess. Despite the fact that that they were ruffians attacking them in the world, Zipporah still went. Moses would have needed such a brave woman to marry to go through the wilderness. And so Isaac, Rebecca I think is her name, fetched water for 10 camels. Isaac inherited camels from Abraham. Now, I always said that don't let your erection give you direction when your brain is strong. Downstairs, men are controlled by two polarities. When this polarity is functional, that idiot in between the legs that does not get born again is not functioning well. And so you must always make sure that the polarity here controls the polarity below. So Isaac's wife needed to love camels to be able to marry Isaac. So what is it that you are doing? Does your wife fit into the dream? Does she identify with the dream? Does she have a chemistry with your dream? Does she have the capacity to manage your. I'm able to be here because my wife has the capacity to manage our businesses at hand it over to her. So does she have consistency in producing results? We call my wife Julius Bega is a construction company in our. In our country because she is our builder. She builds. On her 50th birthday, I asked the children, what do you give to your mommy for 50th birthday present? My last born. So said we should give her sleeping medicine to sleep because she's always. She's always working to fetch water for 10 camels that the servant went with. A camel drinks 30 gallons of water. Okay? 30 gallons times 4 is 120 liters. Times 10 camels is 1,200 liters. Times acceleration due to gravity times the distance to the well is the amount of joules of energy he used in fetching water from the well to the camels. The depth of that well, the one in John chapter four, was 138ft deep when it was excavated in 1945. So imagine how deep that well was for the woman to fetch 1200 liters. That is 60 jerry cans of. Of 20. 20 liters to feed to water the camels. And the man now saw capacity and competence. The Bible says the man watched. Don't rush to bed. Watch the girl, because sex is confusing. A stupid girl might be more active in bed than in business. So can this person. How does this person fit into my dreams? The womb that will carry your children must have the mental capacity to carry your vision. So when you are dating, it's not the touching, it's not the kissing, it's not the. You observe. You try to bridge between this person and your vision and where you are going to. So that's important. That's how to choose. Then you ask yourself, is this person trainable?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is this person willing to learn? Can this person adapt? Are we meeting at the level of heart rather than the level of the brain?

[B]

Okay. What's the difference?

[A]

When you meet at the level of the heart, it's emotional. Okay? You live at the level you meet at the level of the brain is rational. And so it is very, very dangerous for men to marry below their social classes, their intellectual classes, and their educational classes. You just took another baby into your house. You took another body into your house. You didn't bring a partner. It was better for you to buy a sex doll. Who will not get. Who will not place a demand on you. A woman that you must always instruct and tell before she takes initiative is a burden. Is a plc. It's a private liability. Concern.

[B]

Is deep. Some men are saying, I tell you this. I was speaking to this lady who was married for about 25 years before divorce, and she was saying that the main reason why they divorced was because she herself, her job started paying her more. She worked so hard, and, you know, she increased her, you know, academic status, career status, and the man was intimidated by how much she was bringing in. Does this happen in a lot of marriages?

[A]

Wow. You have stayed overseas.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

That is one of the major reasons for divorce in the UK and in America. Why women find it difficult to manage authority. They find if you see that the wife of a president might want to exercise the showmanship of the presidency more than the husband, they find it difficult to manage authority. There is this, I want to be like God, intuition. Eve had everything in the garden. Only one thing she didn't have. She was not allowed to touch. But that was what attracted her. And she was discussing with the serpents, according to biblical history, without consulting the husband. Do you know women sometimes they have this. This because of their ability to carry the size of any man and the size to push out and the strength to push out babies. They don't fear. Why did Sarah laugh when God was talking to Abraham? Why did the wife of Lot turn back? Why did the daughters of Lot decide to sleep with lots of. They can be desperate. They can be impatient. A woman's psychology is like the womb. If the womb wants to push out A baby, if you don't know what to do. The womb can push and push and push and even tear. And sometimes it will just go flaccid when it is tired, they get confused. So a woman has this urge to do things and without much rationalization. And when she has money and the man is not living up to expectation. A man, A woman is not interested in the quantity of money. No, a woman is interested in your efforts to contribute to the marriage and then to appreciate her. At my age, I live alone in an eight bedroom house with 10 toilets, with my wife on half an acre. My wife, sometimes before she comes from work, I've washed the dishes because I don't want her to come from work and then start washing dishes. So anything I can do to ease her pain and stress, she appreciates it. And you don't turn to a man who the woman is working and bringing money. You start expending the money for frivolities. Instead of doing side deals, you are doing side chicks. The wife will be angry then. At the same time, most men are too sensitive to what is not intended. Okay, the car, the car. Why the fuel? Please don't be driving it until it enters yellow or amber because it can spoil the injector. Is it because you are the one who bought the car? Is it because you are the. Don't. She just told you something reasonable. You should learn to accept it. Most of us men react negatively to things that are supposed to be positively appreciated because of inferiority complex, you know. Then in marriage, both men and women. If your man married you when he had primary six and he has upgraded to secondary school, he has upgraded to polytechnic. From polytechnic, he did a postgraduate diploma and did a university degree. And subsequently he contested elections and won into the House of Assembly. You too go to 9th school and upgrade your grammar. Upgrade your grammar. Don't say when my husband went back, the man would be so upgrade your grammar. It is not. Don't be tolerated, be celebrated. Upgrade your grammar. Then men, as your wife is upgrading, also upgrade yourself, acquire skills, diversify your businesses. You know, when my wife, a woman always look, has wants a man she can look up to, okay? No, no, no, no. They always. They like strong men, they like tough men, they like focused men, they like productive men. They like men that can exert authority. They don't like sissies, they don't like parasites, they don't like people who just carry on ligbo lying between their legs. And so as a man, as your wife is upgrading, learn to upgrade now. Your wife must see you that you are putting in effort to raise the family. Don't sleep. I was the first bus driver in my school. I cleaned toilets. I carried children on my back as a medical doctor. Then I had reached the age of 40. I had practiced for 15 years. I was doing menial things to make sure that the family had food. When my wife saw that, she started falling into place. So I was. I was industrious. I was looking for things to do. And when a woman sees your contribution, she is ready to work more for you. And then than if you are not contributing, then you also have to guarantee a woman a future. Okay, it says, and I would. The Bible says. And Sarah called Abraham Lord. The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want, so you must try to provide. Number two. The Bible says that I shall not want. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. And he makes me to lie down beside the green pastures. When a cow or a ship is well fed, they lie down. If you are traveling from Wales, is it Wales? You are traveling from Wales to Manchester, all those farms that you will see with the railway, with the train line, you will see that the cows sit down. They don't malinger like Fulani cows in Nigeria, because they are well fed. They eat fodder. They prepare fodder for winter and bring them out. I mean, in summer, bring them out for winter. And during summer there's enough greenery for them to eat. They don't malinger. A woman is angry when her children are going to watch television in another person's house. And maybe in the process they slap one of them. So now the good thing is that if somebody wants to be enterprising, somebody wants to work hard, somebody wants to be frugal, there is enough for every man to do to generate revenue. But most of us will carry ourselves in a pedestal. That is not realistic. We put ourselves in a status that is not at tandem with our state. Particularly we who are pastors, particularly we who have gone to school. Don't you know I'm a graduate? Bust you and your graduates if you can't feed the family. I've done many other things. I've sold secondhand clothing. I run a poultry. I go into the poultry to clean the excrement. I've planted cucumber, I've planted potatoes. I carry cassava on my head until last year, last two years, I weed. All in a bid to make sure I provide something. All in a bid to make sure that my dream of Having children all over the world that I provide something. If a woman sees that and you are not intimidated by her successes because she's answering your name, the children are answering your name. And sometimes learn to swallow pride. You didn't put money down for feeding. Then you're asking for bush meat and cracker soup. It doesn't work if she provides frozen fish. Eat that one and move on. Always remain mysterious to a woman. Don't let a woman read you. Remain mysterious.

[B]

Your next move is concealed.

[A]

Yes, remain mysterious. There are many things you can do. When I left the school and the schools and left everything for my wife.

[B]

Why did you leave everything for her?

[A]

I told you that when you reach 60, your greatest need is peace of mind. Good health and peace of mind. Most other things will become boring. At this age, you love cars. At a certain age, I loved cars. I used to import cars. I used to drive. Now I trek. You will get tired of food. You won't have strength for sex. You will. In fact, people say that from the age of 40, most men are described whether they have money or not. Whether you are handsome, whether you are fed, doesn't matter. If not, I won't call somebody's name. They shouldn't. They wouldn't have married. So you now find out that the children have left home. They are facing their own lives. And let me quickly say this. Children are not a good retirement plan. Because they will have their own challenges. Once a man starts kissing his wife, you are a second option. How many times have you sent money to your father? This month, Even when he is rich, you don't remember him. So now the thing is, what you need is peace and good health. And so the schools were having problems. Ah, this, this, that, that. I'm too high, I'm too harsh. I'm too strict. I'm too. This. She can tolerate workers. Mean I can't tolerate stupid people. You understand? And why don't you? And so we're having quarrel. Quarrel? Quarrel. In fact.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

On her 60th. On her 60th birthday. I went and met her a week before. I said, look, anytime we have any major activity, we always quarrel. This is your 60th birthday. Please don't let us quarrel. So I was dodging all the quarrels. I come from worry. I'm an horrible man. I grew up in worry. In fact, in the slums. She grew up in Agbasa. One tough part. And when two molecules like this collide, there's bound to be some explosions. So I was dodging the quarrels. Because I had more to lose. And then the day of the 60th birthday, she. A quarrel came from somewhere. I don't know where it came from. Maybe my. One of my drivers, one of my teachers. Then she said, who told you I wanted to celebrate birthday? Who told you I wanted to celebrate birthday? Because women don't know what they want. That's why they will wear short skirt and they will be pulling it down. That's why they will wear high heels and put slippers in their bag. That's why a woman can own a poultry, a restaurant. She will go for a wedding ceremony and be carrying small chops to put in her bag for her children. They don't know what they want. And so she quarreled me. I just withdrew like a snail. Because he who has more to lose has to avoid fights. You don't go and quarrel with somebody who is likely to burn your house when it has no building. And so she now dressed up, said, come, come, let us take picture. Me, Momo is a foolish person in Nigeria. And I told you, sometimes you need to be foolish to remain married. I went, he said, hold me from back. And I grabbed her from behind. Remember I told you they like to control you?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So I grabbed her and then they took the picture. Then she whispered to me. He said, these people won't know that. He said, post it on your Facebook page. He said, your followers won't know that we quarrel. This money. And I posted it. Come and see comments. Lovely couple. Wonderful couple. I tap into this grace. Do you know what you're tapping into? So when I need, because I need peace of mind, I leave things and I create. I'm here now, she's not here. I travel, I'm treated like royalty. They don't know her, they don't see her. I'm going to eat Ghana jollof rice. Very sophisticated one. And she's not here. I told her that I met a Ghanaian in the airport and he took me to the the executive lounge. And I'm enjoying. I said, buy chocolate for me from Ghana so I have more to lose. I had to leave everything for her to have sanity. I need more space in this brain to create what I am creating.

[B]

That's a very non conventional way of approaching marriage. Let me stop you here for a minute. We are on the journey of changing the minds and the lives of people. So if you haven't subscribed and become part of the family, please hit the subscribe button and turn on the notification. Thank you. Now let's carry on with the conversation.

[A]

Yes, it's not conventional. You see, marriage in the Bible, all of them were not very conventional. Esther married a drunken, a drunkard, unbelieving divorcee king. But God used that marriage to save the children of Israel.

[B]

So there's no method.

[A]

Every marriage, you have to adjust yourself to meet your marriage, your requirement. Marriage is like a lock and key. A lock and key. The lock, the key that can open this door might not open another door. And so church people have preached people into a box, into confusion. If you are quarreling with your wife and you are a pastor, you are a sinner. May I quarrel? We reconcile.

[B]

So what really is the value of a man without marriage, without money in marriage?

[A]

The value of a man without money, without money in marriage? I don't want to get into trouble. Even your children will not respect you. Even your children will not respect you. Because even when you give your wife money, the children think that it is mother that is paying the school fees because she goes to the bossa, she buys the Christmas clothes, she brings food, and so they go to her first before they come to you. When they go to her, the thing goes round and round, but they come to you. You now give to her. She will not give to them. So the average man. Bible says, a man shall provide for his family. First Timothy, chapter 5, verse 8. Whosoever does not provide for his family is worse than a non believer because he has betrayed the faith. The children of John G. Lake in South Africa. John G. Lake was a wonderful preacher. In Spokane, he was arrested for practicing medicine without license when 100,000 documented healings took place. Not these ones of when I was in Accra, when I was in Takoradi, when I was in Tamale, when I was in Upper Volta region. No, these ones raw miracles documented in the hospitals. And the doctors arrested him for practicing medicine without license. He went to the Kalahari. He was doing mission work and ministry. The wife died of hunger. The children of John Jeelik refused to become Christians. They said that the God that could not feed our mother while our father was serving him is not trustworthy. But one of them on his deathbed said that if my father were to be alive, he would have prayed for me. I would have been healed. So if you can't provide in your household, if you can't provide in your household, it is like the Bible says that the wife is like the church and you are like Christ. And the Bible says the Lord shall supply all your needs, even though according to his riches is added. God does not prevent you from having the riches. I told you about the Lord's Prayer when Sarah said called Abraham Lord, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. And so men don't rush into marriage if you can't meet the expectation of that woman. But you can look for your own class. I didn't come from a rich background, but they were in the same class. But my father worked hard. My father was a refuse collector in the council. When he closes from work, he will go and patch buildings of people with mud. The area we are staying, the houses were made with clay mud. My father would go and patch buildings for people in order to pay my school fees. And he would give me my school fees during holidays. And it was an elitist school I went to. And when they told my father to marry a second wife because we only two children and I'm the only one remaining now, he said he will not get an erection unless he trains me to become the medical doctor that he pushed me into. He said he will not get an erection with another woman. So most men, you don't, you don't. Your family has not eaten and you are going to play draft. Do you play draft in Ghana?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Take him. Y cranam. You know, you don't do that. You don't do that. I. I saw a chief recently. Every day he goes to a beer parlor to go and sit down waiting for people to buy him drinks. You don't tell me that, that your wife is pregnant and your wife delivered that I should send money to you. No, pregnancy is not an emergency. It gave you nine months notice. I married at 26. I was doing my national youth service. I was earning 200 naira. Let's say it's $400 that I was earning because the naira was twice the dollar. Let's say it was $400. I would leave one hospital to the other after closing, walking, doing private practice from place to place to feed my boy and my wife. And she was seeing it then at a point because I wanted to be a businessman early. I was in that hospital. I wanted to open my own practice on time. I was in that hospital. The man would not pay me. I said I'm going to see patients in villages earning an extra income. At one time I started selling second hand clothing with my wife. We will go to Ari area market and she will be selling. I will hide so that my patients don't see me. But occasionally when the place is becoming dark and people are not buying, I will just come in front and start doing as if I'm rushing. Customers will not come. Then I will disappear at a point. I was importing cars. I would drive home used cars. We call them Belgium cars in Nigeria. I would drive them from Lagos to Aba. I will arrive at Aba by 5:30am Sleep a little bit, go to the theater, do surgeries till the evening. My wife knew when I imported fish meal from Pakistan. Wow. And I was going from. From city to city, farm to farm, to sell the fish meal. One of the days I slept in a mechanic workshop in Enugu. So she was seeing my effort in it. Today. My helper, oh my helper. No, you have to work, you have to put in effort. Even in ministry. I wrote 40 books in how many years I will write till daybreak. I will go into a small studio, not like this sophisticated one. It was this sharp 555 kind that had two slots, two compartments. And I knew I was going to preach to a large audience. And the Bible says, do not appear before me empty handed. So the message I was going to preach, I will now preach it and record it. And then I have a cassette duplicator I will not duplicate till daybreak. And then sometimes I will not travel. It was from those messages and those cassettes. And people will now form line to buy that I made some money at one time. And I will write the message I'm going to preach. I will write it down into books. And I will print. I will print these books. If I'm going to somewhere like Port Harcourt or Minaba, I will carry the books there. Because I needed to use Motokada to cross to the other side to get a taxi to go to Eleme road to enter Ive Kutaba. I will carry cassettes on this shoulder, carry books on this shoulder. My skin will peel. And she was seeing it. And it was such that when I go to to preach, they will give me large meals, give me tissue paper, this, this the meals they give to me. I will skip breakfast. I will eat only a little bit. I will freeze them. It is those meals I will leave abba very early. 4:00am I have left. I will reach Ugele by 8:00'.

[B]

Clock.

[A]

It is those meals that I will present to my children to defrost, to eat. It is the bread and the biscuits that I will give to my children. Because I know if I can't feed these children, if I can't train these children, they will hate my God. They will hate my God. I used to ask my daughter, can you marry A pastor say no. Unless a pastor like my daddy. So I needed to do that kind of work to be able to provide. To be able to provide.

[B]

Otherwise, what would have happened?

[A]

Ah, I would have been a disgrace. Many people from. I come from an idolatrous background. Many young people, excuse me, from my community, will have refused to become Christians because I was the second doctor from my village and I couldn't afford to fail. There are some things you can't afford to allow to happen. And this entitlement mentality that church has pushed us into, of thinking that because we sowed one seed, then we are going to reap a harvest. No, Isaac did not. It wasn't offering, he gave. It was farm work. And if Isaac reaped a hundredfold, if he planted only one acre, God will multiply one acre a hundredfold. And so there is the Apoki formula of productivity.

[B]

Okay, let's go.

[A]

It is. Write it down. Apoki formula of productivity. G. G for J or G for. For. For God. Yes. G times E to the power three times S. Oliver. C. No, Oliver. C divided by C is equal to P. Okay. P is productivity.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

G is the grace of God. E1 is effort.

[B]

Yep. E2.

[A]

E2 is belonger uses. Eat effort then. No. G times E times S to the power four. G times E. S to the power four. Yep. S to the power four. Yeah. G is effort. Yep. If you have all the grace and you put zero effort, it is zero. God will not multiply. Zero. He said the hand that does not work should not eat. Even Abraham had to have sex with Sarah at 100 or whatever age to get her pregnant. God was not going to impregnate her. So G times E. Effort. You must put effort times S raised to the power four. Four. S number one strategy. If you don't have a strategy, you will be a tragedy. S number two, sustainability. You go to a nightclub every weekend and spend money. Is it sustainable? I have a big car in my house, and then they say I must be driving it every day. If not, so I don't drive it. What I do is I remove the battery head. When I go there, they warm it. If I want to travel to preach, the people come and carry me. Or they rent a car because it's not sustainable. So it must. You must. It must. Strategy. Sustainability. Sustainability.

[B]

And then now we need a nest.

[A]

S. Savings. Yep. Savings. You must learn to save. Parkinson's law of expenditure states that the more money you make, the more you should save. When you earn more, reduce your expenditure because it Is you who has that is given. And so the secret of having is of being given is to have. If a poor pastor is celebrating his birthday, they won't give him much. If I'm celebrating my birthday, they will give me more. So it is. You must have savings.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And when you save, you do target savings. Okay. I am saving for this thing. Aspirational saving. I have a lot of real estate business portfolio. It came from saving from the honorariums I was receiving and investing them in such a way. Because money must be made, money must be multiplied, money must be maintained and money must generate momentum. So when I make money, I save, I do target saving. When I do target saving, this target saving, I will label the money. Because there are different types of money. There is dead money. Dead money ends up in the soak away pit. There is non living money. Non living money is. You use it to buy this furniture. If you want to sell it, it might be lower in price. Then there is living money. Living money increases in value and produces more value. Then there is irresponsible money. Money is an idiot. Money is a servant. If servants don't have work, they become irresponsible. They will be playing. They will provide job for themselves. So if you have money and you don't label it, it will attract responsibility. That is why when you have money and you don't label it, the resultant effect is that you will finish spending the money. You won't know what you used it for. So how many S's now?

[B]

Right. So we have strategy, sustainability, savings. And there's one more S left.

[A]

Structures and systems. Yes, structures and systems. Then C is constrained. I am constrained. Being an African, I am constrained. Coming from a small tribe in Nigeria, I am constrained because of many factors. But when C C increases linearly or is it arithmetically? G increases geometrically. I don't have a good memory. I didn't know what you were going to ask me. I don't speak good English. I don't speak well. If you analyze most of these things, there are grammatical errors. But grace has enabled me to write many books. Grace is a leverage. It makes you function beyond installed capacity. But once there is no effort, grace is useless. And so poor people worship their constraints. They focus on their constraints rather than looking at grace. I am here today not because I'm a medical doctor. I'm here today because of COVID Covid was a constraint. Covid closed down my schools. Covid closed down churches. Covid closed down companies that I act as a resource person to and I was alone at home with my wife. Okay, my last born came from Europe, but I had 47 acres. I had bought from savings from the honorarium I received from preaching using the principle of gradualism. I've been buying and I suddenly decided that I was going to farm. And I went with my wife. You see? You see this life. When people see us, they tap into grace, the secrets of great men and in their stories. I have a plantain farm in my compound. A small plantain farm from plantain suckers that people threw away. That I planted those plantain suckers. The plantain chips they eat in my school are from my plantain. I have a poultry in my house now. The chickens we are going to use to celebrate my 40th marriage anniversary. We are already rearing them there. So I'm not going to buy chickens. There was one time I sold plantain soccer of 1.25 million from my compound and the school. So that Covid time rain fell. And my wife noticed that there were snails in between the plantain. And so we went around 10 o' clock in the night to go and look for snails. And we filled the buckets. A big white 50 liter bucket with snails. Those were the ones we cracked because we have solar energy. We put in the fridge and we are eating them. Gradually we saved the snails. And I reduced my appetite. When my wife would dish for me. I would eat and remain small because I will need it again. Poor people have big appetite. Poor people always pass over opportunities regularly. The word poor puppies passing over opportunities regularly. They negate what insightful people pick up. And so snails. My wife saw I'm a doctor, she's a nurse, midwife. She trained in two teaching hospitals. We are picking the snails. And then I went to the farm. I started planting cucumber, planting watermelon and we sold. It was in the process of uprooting cassava that I told somebody to do a video in the rain. I did the video in the rain. The way the oligarchy fight and Tunde ethnod shared it. That was what led to popularity. I did another video at the back of my hillock stroke on the way I want to be buried. I did another video on. If your marriage is to endure, you must be stupid. Kanayo or Kanayo shared it. Excuse me. So it was in the midst of difficulties and the resolution that my family must not go hungry that I went into these opportunities that I had. They were flimsy opportunities. The first video I did on the vision of Petra Institute. Somebody sent me 1.1 million from the US and it was from that video, one of them that I did operating cassava. I had information that they had 65 acres and I did a video. I said, this cassava is very big, six months and African soil is not coarse, it is withered and stupid. I have 65 acres for sale. Call number. Somebody called from the UK. I told him I'm not the owner of the land. If you buy, you give me 50, 50,000 error. On top of each acre he bought 15 acres and I had 750,000. Another person bought 10 acres. I had 500,000, I had 1.25 million. In the midst of scarcity, it was from there I started doing videos with a cheap phone, not a complex studio like this. I did from Wheelbarrow. Somebody said I was not dressing well because I'm a contrarian thinker and a crazy fellow. I entered Wheelbarrow to do videos so that I would know that I'm not really dressing well. It was from those videos that I am here.

[B]

That's the reason why you're here.

[A]

And so many people have problems. They don't see them as opportunities. The church has taught us to pray problems away rather than looking for the solutions to our problems and turning them to gain. The blessing in any problem are the lessons you learn. And from that real estate business that a transaction I did, I bought. If we start, I bought. If we start trekking by 8, by 12 we will eat lunch and we will trek till 4. You don't reach. You have not reached where I bought in a community.

[B]

I see.

[A]

On my 66th birthday I gifted myself 80 acres of land. Because as I sell and I make money, I reinvest. I reinvest. Then I live a minimalistic life, a simple life. Delayed gratification. They called me miser. I don't need to finish a bottle of Coke once. Once I drink it and it passes my mouth, the taste is gone and I don't need. I have not added more than 10 kg in the last 40 years because I don't finish my food. I must segment it. You see, when your sugar is not much, you select the cup of tea that you put it inside. Most people are not rational. You can rent a three bedroom flat and your salary cannot sustain it. And then when they come and start dragging you for house rent, your wife will be ashamed. You can't put your child in a school that you cannot afford. When people were sending their children to US and uk, I sent mine to Romania. That was what I could Afford. And they graduated from there. When they were there, I sent them to the us. They went to US and worked. And they got money to pay their school fees for a period of time or to feed. Today, one of them from Romania has gone to Germany. He's a German citizen there. He's a surgeon. The other one has PhD. The other one has a master's degree and he has his own business there. I was able to train them. I couldn't have trained them in the UK with the little I was getting. So you have to be wise. I don't imitate people because I will bear the pain. I will bear the consequences. And so that's how I have built finances. And my wife sees the results, and she's a good manager. You see, these psychedelic marriages will put people into a lot of problems. A lot of problems. And when you succeed, brother, everything I'm wearing here is a gift, including my panties and my singlets. I love it. I love it. When you pay your dues, men will pay your bills. Take that home.

[B]

Definitely take that home, Doc. Thank you so much.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

We have a famous question here.

[A]

Yes?

[B]

Motivation or discipline?

[A]

Motivation or discipline? If you motivate an idiot, he becomes a dangerous idiot. If you are motivated and you are not disciplined, there won't be consistency. If you are motivated and you are not disciplined, fraud will enter. If you are motivated and you are not disciplined, irresponsibility will come in. Immorality will come in. I discipline this idiot in between my legs. Motivation will produce results. Results will attract all kinds of people. Number one, it requires discipline to be consistent. It requires discipline to manage resources. If you are motivated and you are thinking that you have the whole world to yourself and that tomorrow will bring results again, you will spend anyhow. And then you will be broke like African footballers. So you need motivation. But the greatest motivation you need is the implosion that takes place in you that leads to explosion.

[B]

Amazing. What's the best advice you've ever received?

[A]

The best advice I've ever received. Buy land.

[B]

If you don't have a land, buy land.

[A]

Buy land.

[B]

Buy land. I know you have a lot of books.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But aside some of your books.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Can you recommend a book for our audience?

[A]

Book? There is a book titled Gaining Favor with God and man by William Thayer. I think it was written in 1876. If you can get that book, Gaining Favor with God and man, it is next to the Bible.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

I really appreciate you. We have spoken. We have gotten to know each other better.

[A]

We can continue for three days, definitely.

[B]

Thank you so much. And to my audience, I know you've enjoyed this. I'm gonna leave every detail of Dr. Apoki in the description. I'll tag his YouTube as well so that you can go there and have a look at the amazing videos that he has on there. He's come all the way from Nigeria to Ghana to have this conversation. To those people who made it to the end, you're definitely a champion. I would like to know in my comments, thank you so much. My name is Derek and I'm out. Stay connected.