← Konnected Minds Podcast with Derrick Abaitey
Konnected Minds Podcast with Derrick Abaitey
Africa's #1 Event Planner: "Marry The Wrong Man And You'll Lose Your Dreams" - Funke Bucknor-Obrute (FBO)
01:25:28
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- [00:00]
A
When you are planning an event, I want people to be happy, to be joyous.
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B
How have you been able to build this excellence from ground up?
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A
For us to deliver, we must be 101.
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B
Is that the reason why people keep coming to you?
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A
I think so. One other major reason is that if
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B
you close your eyes and then imagine the last event you did, how does this whole description looks like?
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A
Don't ask me about the last event. It's not an easy thing to do. It's very hard for me.
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B
I want you to take me through the process from planning to executing an event.
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A
So I think that for the first moment is to understand fio. Yeah.
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B
Some women say that when they start chasing their dreams and mix that with children or husband, you can slow them down. What's your view on that?
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A
The society, it favors men more than women. It's important that one marries, right? The man you marry, it determines how far one can go in life as a woman. As a man, you must support a woman.
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B
What does that mean?
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A
This is a very tough question. It means that you must cut them some slack. At least you can, even if you're not cooking, be with her in the kitchen.
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B
We should all be in the kitchen and be cooking at the same time.
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A
This fat woman is a debate that will not end.
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B
My guest today is Funke Bakna Obrute FBO for short and she has Africa's biggest events company and she's also a global speaker. And I must also say that she's on Africa's biggest business podcast. So hopefully we have a great conversation and you enjoy and get some value. You're welcome to my studio, madam.
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A
Thank you. Thank you very much.
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B
So I have something here. This is from people who have seen you over the years. They've enjoyed what you've done for people in the events space and also the speaking that you've done. And one person says that I love the excellence of the Zafar events. Auntie Funkeback is the best event planner in Nigeria. I think in Nigeria they need to remove the Nigeria and make it Africa.
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A
Oh, wow. I wonder who said that. I need to go and frame that in my living room and just listen and just watch it, you know, how
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B
do you do it?
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A
How? Oh my goodness. The how. I think. Well, the how is a is a long story of over 20 something years. Years. But honestly I would say that right from the very beginning I had decided that what we're going to do or what I was going to build or the business I was going to run was Going to be an excellent company. It was going to be a business that was going to go over and beyond. It would be a business that was going to create value and ensure that our clients are happy. So with that mindset or with that belief, everything that we do revolves around that. So excellence is important. Creating value is important. Going over and beyond exceptional customer service, you know, and doing the work, you know, a lot of people don't do the work. So it's about just doing the work. You know, you've been, you've been given a job to do, do it very well. And I think even for me, it also comes in the scriptures where it says, whatever, you know, you find your hand to do, do it well, as if you're doing it unto the Lord. So, and when you're doing something unto the Lord, you have to do it excellently. Right? You do it with all your heart. So that's some of the things that has really driven, you know, and so when you say the how, when you have all these values or all this, the. Your why. So my why is, look, I want to create an excellent company. I want to build an exceptional business. I want to create. I want to run a business that is known for great things. So my why, and also my why is that I want people to be happy. So I want to create joyous memories for people. Because when you are planning an event and you're planning, whether it's a funeral, a birthday, a corporate event, a wedding, any event that you're planning, a product launch, you just, Your clients want to go away. Even if it's a sad event, they just want to feel happy. So I'm like, I want people to be happy, to be joyous. That is the why for us. So that why now translates into the how.
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B
Right?
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A
Right. Yes.
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B
In this part of the world. I've just come from Ghana, I've been to Nairobi, and now I'm in Nigeria. Most people just do things anyhow. As a matter of fact, I, I think you hire a builder to do something for you. And the finishing, sometimes you can see very crooked. But how have you been able to build this excellence from ground up? It's. It's very, it's very admirable.
- [05:24]
A
It's a lot of hard work, It's a lot of commitment, a lot of tears, a lot of diligence, a lot of visioning. So it's important that when you are running an organization, running a team, or you have people around you, you have to let them see the bigger picture. You have to Let them see the vision. Why we doing what we're doing? Why are we in business? Yes, we want to make money, right? It's profitability, of course. Impact, of course. But at the same time, when you are in need for, let's say, profitability impact, you still have to do the right thing. And it's important that people understand that when you put your heart in something and you do it with all you have, all your might, you have to aim for a hundred and one percent all the time. You may not hit it, you may make mistakes, but guess what? You are aiming for that. Excellent. You are aiming for a hundred and one every single time. So because of that, I'm dogged. And that doggedness is something that everybody around me must feel. Yes, I know that I can be sometimes a bit tough, or sometimes it seems like I just want everybody to be a certain way. But guess what? It's important because for us to deliver, we must be 101. So to do, to deliver 101, you must be 101. And that takes a lot of sacrifice. It takes a lot of commitment. It takes a lot of diligence, hard work. It takes a lot of not cutting corners, you know, it takes a lot of excellence. It takes, you know, it just takes a lot to achieve this. So when people ask me this question, I always say, look, you can't, first of all, you can't do it alone. So you must carry people with you. But, and as you carry people, you must always teach, you must guide, you must train, you must show, you must tell. And then as you do that, they begin to buy into the vision that you also have. But it's important to recognize that, that people are not going to come on this journey with you at, on the same pace or at the same pace. So you're going to start this race right? It's a marathon. And when you start a marathon, the, the key thing is to get to the end. So when you are all running, some who may run slower than others, some are going to be faster, some are going to rest in between, some are going to say, I'm not doing this again, and turn back. But there'll be people that will finish with you and that finishing, you know, in the process, there's a lot of endurance. So as you are running and as you're going, everybody just understands, look, this is the end result. This is where we're going. Let's keep on pushing, let's keep on running, let's keep on walking. If we have to crawl, let's crawl. If you have to walk, let's walk. If we have to run, let's run. Let's not get there. Do you understand? So I think that that's some of things that I, I mean, like I said, it's not an easy thing to do because you are dealing with human beings, you are dealing with people. And when you are dealing with people, everybody has different personalities, different strengths, different weaknesses. As a leader or as someone that is running an organization, you have to recognize every people's strengths, see their weaknesses, and then play to that strength. It's not easy. It's very hard for me, it's very hard.
- [08:52]
B
Would you say that's the hardest part of your business?
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A
Yes, because my brain works in. I can't. My brain is like a computer. So I want people to see like I see. Right. But a lot of people sometimes can't see like I see. So I have to almost like reboot and reboot and all that. But they eventually get there, right? So that patience, that endurance, that what they call it, I don't know, it's not tenacity, but patient. Being patient is one of the key things you must learn as a leader is important, you know. So.
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B
Yeah, doesn't that make it a bit stressful in a sense that when you can see a direction and you're trying to get everybody to see, you know, then how do you deal with that?
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A
So it's like when you, you, you first of all, when you realize that it's like looking at an elephant. You know, when you touch an elephant and they tell you to touch, they close your eyes and say, touch an elephant. Some people can touch the tail and they'll tell you that the elephant is a snake. Somebody can touch the, the side and say, oh, it's a wall. Somebody can touch the trunk and say, oh no, this is iron. Depending on the parts you touch, right? And you as the leader, you are the one that has the, the straight line vision, the, the, the bed's eye or what do they say? So you now have to find a way to redirect everybody to that vision that you see. Some people may go right, some may go left, some who may go. But guess what? You just have to do the work. It's work. And even when you look, you know, just think about it. Even in the Bible, look at Moses, Moses, that was the leader of the Israelites. He was the one that saw God was. God spoke to him. You know, God spoke to him to Moses. God spoke to him and he was one that had to show the Israelites the way, right? But guess what? Because it was Moses that was talking to God more, the people didn't see. They couldn't see what Moses saw. All they were just saying was, ah, you have stressed us. Why did you carry us from Egypt? Oh, lamentation upon lamentation. But Moses was the one hearing. But of course, as Jesus came and all that, all of us can now hear, right? So you just. And if you notice, even with Jesus, you can see that Jesus, you know, spoke a lot of in parables, he was always sharing. He will speak to 12, he will speak to 70, he will speak to thousands, he will speak to four. I mean, he will speak to three. Because he needed to just keep on getting everybody to understand. And you must always, even with people, when you are communicating, you must always continue to speak, must continue to say it, because people hear what they want to hear. Sometimes.
- [11:44]
B
Ah, sometimes they will say, you are bothering me.
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A
Ah, yeah, but you must, you must die. Yeah, they must hear it, you know, but that's how we all succeed. So you must get direct people to see the vision that you see, that vision of excellence, that vision of going over and beyond, they must see it. And anybody that doesn't see it, let them get out, let them go, you know, but of course you need time because everybody is coming from different parts, you know, exposure, some who don't have the exposure, some people lack the training, some people don't have, you know, and all that. So you need to bring all that in place. But at the same time, even with people, you must also have structure. So when you have your structure, you have your processes, you have your procedure, you have your sops, your standard operating, and you have all those things. And everybody understands that, look, this is the way we work, this is how it is. And you keep on drumming it, but you cannot, it's not about just people. You know, there's process, you know, there's a lot that makes something big or makes it the way we see that excellence, you know, and of course, even the culture, the work culture of an organization plays a big role. You know, how you all behave, what you are teaching, how you are guiding, how you are showing them, you know, love, you know, teaching, guiding, training, all kinds. So, yeah, sorry, let me now quickly add also what you now need to do is that as a leader, which is what, if you remember in the. I think it was in. No, it was in. It was even Moses, I remember when his father in law said to him that he was the one judging all the Cases. Sorry, I'm a Christian. For those of you just. These are the things that guide me.
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B
That's right.
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A
So Moses was judging all the cases all the time. They'll come out, come to him and be lamenting. Give him case, you go judge matter, you go judge case. And then his father in law said, you are going to wear yourself out. You need to appoint leaders that will hear all the small, small matters. Then they can bring a big one to you if they cannot solve it. And Moses listened, and then he appointed leaders. So that is what, as a visionary or as a, as someone that sees the future, you must now cascade. So you, you build leaders who in turn build other leaders, who in turn build other leaders. But you must keep at it. So you must ensure that you have a lot of leaders that are now building other leaders that are not building other leaders. And then that's how you can avoid burnout.
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B
If you close your eyes and then imagine the last event you did. How does this whole description looks like?
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A
Don't ask me about the last event. The last event we did, I must say, was actually very stressful. And that was just because there were just some little. But the clients was very happy at the end, extremely. But before the event started, they were extremely happy. But there were some little gaps in communication with the team and some other people. But it was quickly corrected. And one thing, which is why I say that as a leader, you must also understand is that when your team make mistakes, they will make mistakes, right? And that's one thing you must recognize, that's one thing you must understand. When they do make mistakes, how can it be rectified? So you must correct the mistakes. But these are mistakes that must not happen again. And you must now teach, use it as a learning moment or a teaching moment to say, next time you don't say this or this is what you do next time when you face this, they're not going to make that same mistake again. So that was for some of my team members learning, because they had done excellently well on some other jobs. But on this one I was not very happy. But at the end of the day, beautiful. So. But guess what? And that's why when you sit back, it's like when I think about even organic big organizations, sometimes you can go into a bank, everybody's complaining about the bank, oh, the bank is terrible. Or you can go to a place, oh, the food is bad. What you do as a business owner, as a leader, is to take criticism, take feedback, take it as constructive and go and Correct and learn from it and say, okay, somebody has said, I did not respond on time. How could I have avoided that? What should we have done next time? We will respond in three hours next time. Okay. Or is there a process gap or is there a communication gap that we need to address in our organization? Then you sit back and then you use that to build more systems, more processes, or to remove bottlenecks. But the mistake people make is that when things happen or they go wrong, people just say, oh my God, it's gone wrong and we're not going to come out of it or whatever because. And that's what they call, you know what they say. You have a learning, a learning, a growth mindset. You know, the growth mindset is that I want to keep on improving. I want to do better than I did yesterday. I want to do better than I did 10 minutes ago. I want to do better than I did one minute ago. And how can I learn? What should I learn? What should I see? How can I improve? And then you're constantly getting better and then improving, removing the rough edges, smoothing this, making it smooth, and then boom, there's a finished product.
- [17:03]
B
Is that the reason why people keep coming to you?
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A
I think so. I would say so. I think that also one other major reason is that we are so big on customer service. So even if today before I got here, we had an event and a lady came to me and said, funke, you need to come and train my team on customer service. I looked at her, I said, wow. He said, yes. He said, you have it on a lockdown. Because for me, when what it is, is the customer is the most important person and they must be happy. And when they are not happy or when they're happy, they must be over happy. So there must be their layers to it. You understand what I mean? So that ability to take feedback, improve on the feedback, ensure that you are building relationships and you are sustaining the relationships with your clients, with people around, and then you are not sharing it. Those are, that's. I think that those are, that's why people keep on coming back. So beyond the work, you know, the work is excellent. Beyond the perfection, beyond the, oh, beautiful work. Oh, excellent. It is the relationship part of it. And that's one of the things I always teach my team. You must build relationships and hold on to it.
- [18:23]
B
Okay, let's say you are doing one of your biggest events.
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A
Yes.
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B
And then all of a sudden something goes wrong.
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A
Yeah.
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B
How does it make you feel as a leader?
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A
Ah, you won't be Happy now? You will. There's no way that you will be doing an event. Whether. And guess what? It doesn't even have to be a big event. Any event, no matter how minute, no matter how small. Any event. Once we're doing an event and something is not going right, I am. We, we get extremely. And why I say we is because it's not just myself, it's the team. People are like, oh my God, I'm not happy. We're not happy. Or, you know, and people want to rectify. Ah, it's something. In fact, I won't lie to anyone. What I see the way people show up for themselves, show up for other team members, show up at their events just to ensure that something is corrected. My heart is always glad. So at first, of course, you're going to be sad. You're going to be thinking, wow. But then you must go into repair management, crisis management, risk everything management. Okay, yes. So this thing is not looking as good as we thought, or it's not. How can we make it better? So that's why as a leader, you must have, you must have a, a resilient mindset. So you mustn't always be, you know, it's very difficult, right, not to go into your, into your shell and just say, you know, what is going on? Let it go, everybody, everybody get out. You know, but you have to go back and say, look, no, we speak about. We're saying that we are excellent. We've said that we're like this. We've said that we are the best. We've said that we're exceptional. To be, to be exceptional, you have to do. Want it more than others. You have to do more than others. You have to push more. And how do you push more? By going back into the drawing board and say, okay, guys, okay, let's do this, let's do that. Look. Okay, okay. Have we thought of this? I mean, so resourcefulness, very important, you know, relation, you know, so many factors.
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B
You know, there are several things I read, you know, about what people are saying about you, the energy you have, your personality. Linking this into your business. Which one do you think has grown your business the most? Is it the recommendations or the personality you have or even the work that you have done? Which one do you think has really grown your business?
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A
Can I say a combination of all? And when I say combination of all, I'm saying this because, first of all, my personality, since I've been a young person, I've always had this joyful personality. It's my it's just me. I've been joyful, I'm fun, you know, I'm energetic. I just want to have everyone to be happy now. And I. You remember when I said, when I talked about the. Why I said for the clients to be happy.
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B
Yeah.
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A
So my personality seeps into the business. Of course. So that. Right. Then of course. And then of course connection. Because I'm very good at connecting people, bringing people together. That connection is my personality now. I'm also energetic now. But you have to understand that the energetic part of it, a lot of people on my team are not as energetic as I am. Right. Good. So that is not what. So I went that energetic part. What it is, is that everybody has their different strengths. Some people are not, some people are calm, some people are, you know, you know, demure, you know, you know, that kind of thing. So you have to recognize that everybody's not going to be energetic like me.
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B
Yeah.
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A
But the ones that are energetic, push them forward. The ones that are calm, they're doing this. Everybody has different, you know, strengths. So that energy, of course feeds the business, but it's not what is propelling the business now. Then of course, the work. The work is excellent. The work. If the work was not good, it will not come back. If the work was bad, they will not come back. So they have been coming back for over 24 years. Right. It means the work is outstanding,
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B
man. Over 24 years. Some people can't even last five years. So it's putting yourself together, gathering that energy and constantly showing up.
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A
Yes.
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B
For over 24 years.
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A
Yes.
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B
That is a lot of work.
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A
It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. But, but we. I'm grateful that I've been able to build a team in the last, I would say 15 years. It's the team have done a lot of work. They've done it. Some people just see me sometimes. Some people, I'm the figurehead. I just come to dance or show my face. The work, everything that is happening, you know, everything, even on the day, the team are very instrumental in making sure. So it's not a one man business, not a one man person. It's a team of people doing great things.
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B
Are there moments where, where you never show up to the planning, the organization and just show up at the event?
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A
Yes.
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B
Dressed up to enjoy.
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A
Yes. Of course there are times, of course there are times I don't, I don't attend some events and you still get
- [23:25]
B
there and see the excellence that.
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A
Yes. So that many times in the last few years that I don't go, I don't. I don't go, I don't go. And I still get. People are calling me to tell me, fantastic, awesome. The team. The great. The team. Oh, my God. You know, and there's been, for a number of reasons, some the clients have said, don't bother coming. Your team is excellent enough, we don't want to see you. Some have been, because I've been unavoidably absent because I had to travel, you know, and it was not planned. Some has just been like it just being even intentional, you know, to say, look, I need to be. I'm building a team. There's succession, right? This business is going to outlive me. It's going to grow beyond me. So I must intentionally push my team forward. And then I'm stepping back. So that is. There's also been. It's also been deliberate and most of the time, I would say 99, the feedback has been excellent, well done, amazing, outstanding, wonderful, great thing. You're not in the room. Great. Yeah. So that's it. Yeah.
- [24:29]
B
In two minutes, I want you to take me through the process from planning to executing an event.
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A
Two minutes, oh, my goodness, that's 10 years. I'm just explaining. So I think that from, I mean, for the first moment is to understand. Get the brief and understand the brief. You must understand the brief. You must understand what your client's expectations are. Because every client is different. No one is the same. So you cannot, you know, say it is a one size fits all. So you must understand the brief, digest the brief, and then now begin to interpret the brief. So those are. So of course, you start from taking the brief in, which is like a consultation. From the consultation, when you understand the brief, you can say, okay, no, this is how we're going to visualize, or this is how we're going to bring your dream to life. Of course, you send them your bill, they agree, and then you not begin the process of. So we call. We have a pre planning stage. Pre planning stage is the consultation, the advisory. That is the stage where you are distilling the brief. You are putting it together. You're putting together like a storyboard, a creative direction, you know, for your client. You are identifying, you know, the people that can also bring it to life. Then you now have the planning stage. The planning stage is where you are now working on checklists, timelines, budgets, vendor recommendations. You're liaising with vendors, you are calling, you are checking, you are making sure that the vendors are aligning, you know everything you are designing, you know that that's in the planning stage and then of course, the execution. So everything you've been planning can plan for 10 years, five years, four years, two years. But everything you've been planning, you must now execute on the day. And then to execute, that means you're now working with things like production timelines, you're working with event flow managers, you're working with food flow managers, you're working with guest accreditation managers, you're working with a shadow of how the day runs. And then you're just ensuring that everything you have planned, everything you have brought you have, you have been envisioning is now coming alive. When you want to create a budget for someone, you are as much as you've asked the question, so what kind of wedding do you, what kind of anniversary? What do you want to see? What is your vision? How do you want a day to be like, what are the things you don't want? What are things you want? What are things you want to spend money on? What are things you, you, you, you don't care, really care about? By the time you understand that, then you can go back and say, okay, you know what, I think that you should use this particular person for design. I think, oh, we could use this to curate your menu. I think, oh, this is a venue that would be ideal. Now all those things require you to now get the cost and then put together the budget. I mean, I've done many budgets, so I can sit down and tell you that, okay, an event can cost this amount, that amount, but guess what I keep on saying, it's unique, it's personal. So everybody's different. So you can't use one size fits all for people. People.
- [27:29]
B
So yeah, all right, now let's get into the creation of Zafire events. The journey.
- [27:36]
A
Okay, the journey before Zafaya started. I like the story a lot. From secondary school, I'd always loved talking. You know, I thought I was going to study mass communication when I was going to go into university. But my parents at that time thought this wasn't a professional course. I needed to study law or medicine or engineering, architecture, accounting. But for me, my brain, I was like, nah, I don't want stress, I beg. So I said, okay, let me choose law. I felt because I, I thought law was simple. I felt because I like talking, ah,
- [28:14]
B
to be a good barrister.
- [28:16]
A
My dear brother, as I enter that year one like this, I say, hey, who sent me message? What am I doing in this class? But I stuck I mean, I, I made it through. While I was in, even in university, I actually wanted to, I wanted to see if law was for me. So I did a lot of internships. I did a lot of working in some law firms, you know, but I just thought, nah, this is terrible. Then I went to law school. And while I was in law school, I thought, okay, maybe in law school, if I go to the courts or I go to chambers or whatever, I will like the law. I still didn't like it. But while I was in university and in law school, I was always helping my friends with many things. So my friends would. One of my friends was, you know, she used to sell clothes. I would help her market the clothes and I was able to buy. People buy, I'll wear the clothes. People always come and talk to me and say, oh, I love the clothes. Hey, it's my friend, I will sell clothes for her. Or somebody wants to do something, maybe they're organizing something, an event. I'll be like, oh, let me help you do that. And I'll be the one to get the, you know, the food, get the drinks, get the dj, set up the space. This was in university, but I didn't know what I was, what it was about, right? But while I was in law school, a few of my friends were going to be getting married after law school. And so I said to one of my friends, and she was very stressed out. And I said, oh, let me help you with this ashwabi. In Nigeria, we call it uniform. That's the uniform that the friends, the family will wear. And I said, well, let me help you collect the money, organize it, put it together, and then distribute to the people. And she was like, oh my God, that's a huge relief. And then I helped her. And then while I was in law school as well, another friend was getting my, I'm going to help you with your wedding. Oh, let me help you. And then I watched this film, JLo the Wedding Planner. And I was like, oh my God, this is what I want to do. And then I realized that a lot of people when they were getting married, because during our time when people were getting married, they were stressed, they were overwhelmed, they were doing everything themselves. Their parents not allowed them to be involved or their parents were used to chance people during that time. So I said, you know, well, let me help you with some things. So I helped, you know, so that's how we started. So after law school, I helped one of my friends, I helped another friend helps another friend. Then one of My friends now said to me, my cousin actually said, why don't you start charging?
- [30:43]
B
You were doing it for free?
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A
Yes, this was free. This was free because I just loved it. I didn't think of it as a profession. So I just said. And then he said, why don't you start charging? I said, will Nigerians pay? Will people pay?
- [30:57]
B
Let me stop you here for a minute. So if it's your first time watching Connected Minds or you have been here before but still have not subscribed, do us a favor, because majority of the people that watch our videos have not subscribed. This doesn't help us grow beyond what we expect. So help us by hitting the subscribe button. Thank you. Now let's get back to the conversation.
- [31:22]
A
He said, try. Then we pay. And then I just told somebody, I said, oh, it's going to be ten thousand naira. And she was like, okay. Another one said, oh. I said 40,000. All right. They started paying. I said, wow. And that was how it started. So I just started, you know, and then I went to registered the business. But at that time, I'm in Nigeria. There's something we called nyse National Youth Service Corps and it's composed, we have to university. You must do it for one year. And I, I went to work in IT in an advertising. Remember that? I loved pr, so I know it's working an advertising agency. So while I was there was when I was now doing all these weddings. Okay. So I was not doing all these weddings and helping my friends. And then, and I realized that after nyc, I can't, I have to continue planning these events. I cannot continue this mascot. So I told my boss, I said, I need to go, I want to go and face events. So that's how we started. So I went to Faith Foundation. I went to a business school at that time. It was for SMEs, you know, just to, you know, get some knowledge about business. So I did that, then after that, and then that's how we started. And then the five events started. I got the first person, second person to come and work with me, third person, you know, like that. So that's how the journey started.
- [32:39]
B
Initially, you were doing it all yourself?
- [32:40]
A
Oh, yes. Oh, yes, I was. I was, yes.
- [32:44]
B
Did you. Do you think it's, it's. It was important for you to have gone to the business school?
- [32:49]
A
Definitely, I, I think that you can't run a business without having some business knowledge.
- [32:55]
B
Have you not learned more about business, doing business than you did in business school?
- [33:01]
A
I've gone to Several business schools.
- [33:02]
B
Okay.
- [33:03]
A
After that. So you must always. So you see. Yes, you can have the, the. What's called the practical.
- [33:08]
B
Yeah.
- [33:09]
A
But you must also have the, the. The. The. The. The business part of it. The knowledge that, that you will learn in a business school. A business school will teach you. I learned structure in a business school, I learned process in a business school, I learned SOPs. I learned JDs job descriptions. I learned how to hire, how to fire in a business school, I learned accounting. Some accounting which I still hate today. But I learned it, you know, in, in school. I learned marketing. I learned sales. What you do in the business school is it teaches you and they bring case studies. But then of course, as you go into your business, you now use what you've been taught to. Now you know either say oh no, this cannot work for me. No, this won't work for me. Ah, I learned this thing. Okay, let me use this one. Okay, Operations, they taught me operations. Let me use this. Oh, how to do value chain. They taught me. Ah, let me add it. Okay, they taught me this customer service. Okay. But it can't work for me like this. Okay, you know what, let me modify. But business school is good. Apart from even what you learn in class, what they are teaching you, you also meet people, you connect with like minds. You hear people's problems and stories. So you think that you alone are you that are the problem by the time you yesterday. Hey, my own is not big and then. But you are picking knowledge from people so you should apply. So definitely. I mean I've gone to Trade Foundation, LBs, EDC. I'm doing the Stanford seed program. I've gone to several guys is how about ever is next after our first and foresee average. Yeah.
- [34:46]
B
Okay. How easy is your life?
- [34:48]
A
Hey, what was I will shout. Hey. Oh God. How busy is my life? My life is busy. But it's busy. Good. You know, it's busy. Good. So it's not busy wasting. Right. It's busy. From work, to family, to my friends, to enjoying life. So doing my recordings, my YouTube recordings, my Instagram recordings, my writing, my book. My life is busy. My life is busy. But it's busy. Good. It's busy. Good.
- [35:25]
B
So how do you take care of your mental health, physical health, what do you put in place to be able to do that?
- [35:33]
A
I like this question. And when people ask me this question, when I tell them, they always, always like really? I don't do a lot. So you know, when you have a personality like mine, most of the time you're Happy. That's the truth. And even if I'm dealing with issues, I understand that it's temporary and I make sure that I'm joyful. So as much as possible, I do what makes me happy. I love watching series on, I like watching on my Netflix, on tv. I like watching, reading magazines, I read my chicken novels, I go out with my friends. I like eating out. I do what makes me. I can be at home and I just be watching anything. So I can just be, you know, mindless, just, you know, having a great time. And I try not to let negativity get into my life. You know, negativity, worry. I try to just ensure that I am surrounding myself in my own brain with positivity. Do you understand? You know, so mentally I, I take time out. A lot of people don't know, but a lot of people think that you must go as far holiday. No, for me, I can just take two days away or one day on my bed. I'm. And I've distressed, you know, so mentally, physically, of course, you know, just trying to ensure that I, I, you know, I'm healthy, not. I used to drink one particular fizzy drink. I've tried to reduce that or stop it. I've tried to stop, I think stop, actually stop it, you know, making sure that I'm eating right. I'm not eating rubbish. Exercising. I started exercising. I wasn't exercising before. I was like, oh my God, all the exercise I do, all the walking around is exercise. But you know what? I'm not, you know, strength training, things like that. So physically, mentally, I am conscious of doing the right thing for my body, my mind, my soul and my spirit just to ensure that I am joyful. I stay joyful. Yeah. So that's what I did, I think,
- [37:37]
B
you know, initially you used the word happy.
- [37:39]
A
Yes.
- [37:40]
B
Right. And then now you've used the word joyful.
- [37:43]
A
Yeah.
- [37:43]
B
Right. What's the difference to you?
- [37:46]
A
So me happy is some things that make you happy. So watching a movie makes you happy. Oh, going on holiday makes you happy. But joyfulness is a state of mind that you have continuously. That is only the, the, I would say only God that brings. For me, it's only God that brings it. You know, the Holy Spirit brings joy. So, you know, when the Bible talks about the joy of the Lord is my strength, or it talks about, you know, you know, like finding joy or even peace, you know, peace of mind. So joy is a continuous state. It's not, it's not one thing that makes you joyful. So you can. You can get bad news today, but you're joyful, right? You can, Jonathan, you can, you can, you can, you can stumble on a bad. You know, maybe a deal went wrong. You are joyful, but happiness is temporary. Happiness is, oh, you didn't go, oh, I'm no longer happy today. No, joyful is joyful forever, you know, and it's a, is a, is a fruit for me, you know, Spirit, Holy spirit. They help you to be joyful. So, yeah, so that's it.
- [38:56]
B
With a woman that has such a, you know, busy schedule. You've been working on this for 24 plus years. How do you juggle work with family responsibilities?
- [39:07]
A
Okay, that's a very good question. I think that what it is, is with family or with work or anything you do in life, you must always find a balance. And I call it work life, integrated balance. And why do I say that? You put your work in your life, your life in your work, your family, your work, your work, you know, so everything is intertwined. So you can't say, oh, I'm doing this, I'm not going to take care of this. So it's important to find, for example, when it comes to family or, you know, things have to do with your, your personal things to find the, the, the help you need of things that you cannot delegate, the things that you can delegate, then find people to help you with it. Right. So that's why you can also, if it's, if it's that, oh, you need to, of course, washing, cooking, taking care of the children, running errands, whatever you need to do, please, if you have money, send your money on me, send money on, on other end or what you can delegate, but quality time, you can't delegate it. So quality time with your family is important. So, you know, creating time, putting them. I have to die sometimes. I have to put in my diary, spend time with the girls, spend time with my husband, do this, because if you don't do that, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. I won't get it done. So. Oh, spend time. Okay, we're gonna go for lunch today. Girls or each child, you know, just prioritizing them. My mother, prioritizing my mom, you know, just, you know, taking care of my mom. So all those things, I've had to integrate it into my life, into my schedule. So if I have four days of this, one day is dedicated. Or if, or every day, even if it's in the night or in the morning before you go out, you are doing something that just, you know, Incorporates everything into your life. So. And when my children were younger, it was, you know, and there are different stages of everybody's life.
- [40:57]
B
Yeah.
- [40:57]
A
And you have to know what works for you. So. Because a lot of people like to copy other people. When my children were younger, when they were in primary school, when they were in second nursery, you know, kindergarten, what I did with them was, it's very. When they became teenagers, it's very now, you know, they're becoming young adults. So it's just to recognize each season of your life and see how you incorporate work, family into it. There are times that you may need to say, look, you know what work is going to. I'm not going to do this work because I want to spend time with my family or okay, I want to take this job, but I cannot do this because I need to do this. So it's just understanding what works for you, understanding your own values, understanding what you cannot compromise on at the early stage. And you must define what is important to you, you know, and then with that, you can now of course incorporate everything in fbo. Yeah.
- [41:47]
B
Some women say that when they start chasing their dreams and mix that with children, you know, husband, you can slow them down. What's your view on that?
- [41:59]
A
As women we can be, we're very disadvantaged because the society is very. Patrick. Patriarchal. It favors men more than women. And a lot of. Sometimes some men don't want to agree, but it's the truth. So a man automatically, a woman has a child, she goes, she has the maternity leave a few months. The man doesn't get any because he didn't have the child anyway. But maybe they do sometimes. But then the woman is not expect, is now expected to do everything. The woman is the one that is, is going to do school runs. The woman is expected to take care of the home. Right? The woman. And she's still working. She's working, she will take care of the home. She will do school runs. Should we do this? She'll do that. But she's. And she's still working. Meanwhile, the mantle is working. But the man will not do school runs. It will not. He will just come and feel cool. But guess what? Because people are getting more exposed and people are getting more support. Community wise, right. Emotionally, physically, career, whatever it is. Even the men are also saying that, look, they need to step up and support their wives or support the women. So today you do school run, tomorrow I'll do it, you know, that kind of thing. And you know, or go and pick the girl, you know, have you not noticed that in school when anything happens, they call the mother, they will call the father, they'll call the mother. Ah, your child has temperature. Why don't they call the dad? They call the woman because automatically they see the women as nurturers. And we are nurturers. We are natural nurturers. But guess what? It's important that you want marries, right? The man you marry determines a lot. It determines how far one can go in life as a woman. So marry rights, getting the right support. And I always say to men that men must support women. Men must see women as what they bring to the table, is an addition. We are all, you know, oh, sorry, not an addition. We're working as one unit. So if the woman rises, it's good for the man, and if the man is rising, it's good for the woman. So why do we look at this thing as if it is one side, it is two sides. So we must, the men must support women more, carry them more. So, yeah, it is tough for women because a woman sometimes is limited by society, is limited by what the society expects or what the man expects from the home. So I always say to most women that, look, understand what your, your overall career goal is. Sometimes you may need to step back, maybe depending on the structure of your home, to say, you know what? Okay, you know what? For the first two years of my life, I will use it to do this. After four years, I will do this. And don't use another woman's journey as your. Like your journey or another woman's home or another man's home like yours. You don't know what's going on in the house. So you have to. And that's why it's important that as a woman, you must have conversations, you know, way before you get married. When you are married, you know, it's not perfect for everybody. Everybody is, well, you know, pushing it. Everyone. But guess what? That's communication, conversation, compromise, understanding. These are the things that make it work. But as a man, you must support a woman.
- [45:36]
B
What does that mean?
- [45:37]
A
Ah, it means that you must cut them some slack. You must ensure that a woman is competent, right? Give her the, the promoter based on competence, right? Do not say that because, you know, for example, in an organization, they'll say that, oh, a woman. They don't promote women as, as much as men. Women are not paid as high. You know this now. Women don't get paid like men. Sports. Go and look at the sports world. Before they came to fight in tennis, to come and collect the Money. The men were collecting more footballers, men are collecting more in sports, everywhere, corporate world everywhere. Men are getting more paid more than women. That's why I said it is a. They'll say it's a man's world. So men should support women more to ensure that the gap is being closed. A man cannot enter million and a woman in the same position is any 2 million. Why? What is. What is the reason to say? Because woman will go on maternity leave and she's away for three months. Hello. But she catches up. But you still don't pay her more like.
- [46:45]
B
Like the man I think you were speaking about, you know, in the home. And then when you said that men should support women more. Yes, but when you have quoted several biblical quotes. The Bible does not talk about women being support rather than men supporting them more. I just.
- [47:02]
A
It doesn't. What, what do you say?
- [47:03]
B
Does the Bible not talk more about women being a support rather than men supporting women?
- [47:08]
A
I'm trying to wonder why is that in the Bible?
- [47:12]
B
It's not in the Bible.
- [47:13]
A
Where. No, just tell me.
- [47:15]
B
Look, it's.
- [47:15]
A
It. Tell me why it's in the Bible that say that men should support a women.
- [47:21]
B
No, it's for me. My question is on the more. Right, so then that means one becomes more than the other. How about the woman?
- [47:30]
A
The woman is a help mate.
- [47:32]
B
So that's support now.
- [47:33]
A
She's a help mate to the man. A help meets a support can mean many things. She's a help mate too. The man is already there. They said the woman is help me. She's coming to help the man. Abby, in quotes, if you want to put it like that. It's coming to help the man. Does that mean that the woman is now a slave?
- [47:52]
B
Nobody said that.
- [47:52]
A
Thank you, Abby. Does that mean answer now?
- [47:57]
B
Oh, no. As I say, you know, it's the whole thing about the more. Because if we are saying that supports as a.
- [48:02]
A
As a man, you must ensure.
- [48:05]
B
Yes.
- [48:06]
A
That you are not selfish and that you are not. You are self aware.
- [48:12]
B
Right.
- [48:12]
A
Of your home. You can't come back from work and your wife also comes back from work. And then you put your foot up and then your wife is the one cooking. Why? And then you go upstairs and say you're tired. Did your wife go to work? Did she go to work too? Answer now. Man can never answer that question. At least you can. Even if you're not cooking, be with her in the kitchen. Okay? If you cannot cook it, be with her in the kitchen. Do you understand what I'm Saying, that's the point I'm making the man.
- [48:42]
B
You know, we should all be in the kitchen and cooking at the same time.
- [48:47]
A
Even me, when I remember going up, my dad will go to come back from work. My mommy too will come back from. My mommy was working, but my mama go sit for kitchen. But my daddy will go upstairs, hey, you know, relaxing, get a drink, come and sit down, put his leg up, watching TV when the woman is in the kitchen. Meanwhile, they both went to work. What is the support for each other? To be fair, this part woman was a debate that will not end.
- [49:16]
B
But you know, the thing is, for me, I think duty is very important.
- [49:21]
A
Oh yeah, of course.
- [49:22]
B
A man has a duty and a woman has a duty.
- [49:24]
A
What's the man's duty? To provide for his home. Because the Bible says that if he doesn't provide for him, it's like an infidel.
- [49:31]
B
There you go.
- [49:31]
A
Yes.
- [49:32]
B
So then I'll ask you, what is the woman's duty?
- [49:35]
A
To support. To help. The home, to help.
- [49:38]
B
So if.
- [49:38]
A
So if you go to Proverbs, you know, in Proverbs, the Proverbs 31, man says that the woman in Proverbs, she rises up in early to sort out her household. She has servants.
- [49:49]
B
So the man basically should make enough money to provide servants.
- [49:53]
A
She was there, she did, she would. They go market demand sits at the gates. It means that the man is a noble man. Not be saying, you know, be noble man. Then you now expect that the woman. Good day. You know, anyway, sorry, like this part, this one is short. Let's not go to church. Let's, let's, let's, let's stay here. Business worlds.
- [50:12]
B
Well, look, I still have one thing, because it's still part of the growth that you've had.
- [50:17]
A
And my husband has been, I mean, supportive. Amazing, amazingly supportive. Helpful, you know, carries me on his head, carries the matter. In fact, people tell me outside about my work more than I. I hear about myself. Oh my God, she's the best. My husband. So that's why I said it's important to have a support, a good support system. You know, I support him, he supports.
- [50:38]
B
So what sort of questions did you ask before you said I do.
- [50:42]
A
Hey, my brother.
- [50:43]
B
Because you mentioned that women should ask the questions.
- [50:47]
A
You know, can I say this? The truth is there's no one size fits all in any home. You can write, ask all the right questions and you can still go south. Not because of what you did or what the person did. It could just be different circumstances because the different Things happen in marriage.
- [51:02]
B
Yeah.
- [51:02]
A
So, but what, why people just say get it right first is just that when you get it right first at the beginning in marriage, it helps. But you may get it right at the beginning, go south in the middle and for many reasons. Exactly so. And there's no body, some people have didn't get it right at the beginning, but they got right in the middle. So it doesn't, you can't judge and say, oh, it's because somebody did not do so. It's just to. I think that what it is for myself and my husband was, it was, I was just very clear. We had a conversation about, look, this is my business, I love it and I want to do it forever. So you have to support and this is what you are doing. So it was, it was a, it was not a coral conversation. It was a conversation of, you know, just let's talk. Well, I mean, of course in the early stages my husband didn't understand that walking till 2am, 3am, being on the road, you know, security wise, he felt why coming on the road at 3am, stay outside or whatever, those kind of things because of security, you know. But I made him understand, look, you know what, it doesn't matter. Let me just come. People are on the road at that time, you know, but after a while, sometimes if it's 3 o', clock, four, I will stay and I'll come about 5 o' clock or six. Do you understand what I'm saying? So it's just to understand. So the way people are also telling you things is to understand why they're saying it, you know, and ask and not jump into conclusions. So yeah.
- [52:18]
B
So you believe that the fact that you've had such a supportive husband, that's also part of the reason?
- [52:21]
A
Oh yes, definitely grown, definitely supporting husband, children, help peers, EAS staff, all kinds. All kinds. So it's not just me doing anything.
- [52:36]
B
If I follow this.
- [52:37]
A
So let's go another way,
- [52:42]
B
it will enter into a whole different, you know, space. But if you want myself and FBO to do a part two of this and just decipher this one, drop it in the comments because we are, we are willing to do it. You know, there are several people within Africa, in fact, let's talk about Nigeria, who are struggling to make ends meet. They are struggling because of either the system or the mindset they have about life. What is the one thing that people need to understand when it comes to building wealth for themselves in such an economy? You have done it.
- [53:24]
A
Ah, this is a very tough Question and why do I say it's tough? Anytime I think about when people ask this question I always say that it's important to also understand the circumstances that people have around surrounding them. Some people are born, have not been born into sometimes I'll say the right environment, which is not their fault. So some people have been in the right environment but they've not had the right support. Some have the right environment support but maybe they don't have the right, you know, so there's a, it's many layers but one thing that I think that everybody just needs to because sometimes even for some people they're just trying to survive and you know, so you tell them to come and do A and B and they're thinking I've not even eaten today. So I, I, I think that maybe more for me it's about the, the, the enabling environment that the, the government has to give to people to just allow people have the basics before they can begin to start thinking of how to even build this wealth. So building wealth, you know, or building or having success. Like I say, some people have just not been in the right place. I mean when I think about even my life and I think about people that I've been in primary school with, secondary school, university, we've all been on different journeys, some earning billions of dollars, some are not doing as well, some have got. Life has just taking things, you know, in a certain way for them but it didn't mean that they are not, they don't have. What do you mean they are not doing? Working hard. Sometimes I just feel like, and honestly I feel like sometimes I don't want to say time and chance but I think that sometimes Simon, chance also happens to people. But the mindset that we almost, we must have all the time is a mindset of that we can make it right, we can do this, we can come out of the situation we are in. So even if I am living in a 10 bedroom, a one bedroom and we are 100, I can be great, I can excel. But it's very hard because if somebody that is in that place goes to maybe a particular school and does not have people to support and help, how can they climb up? So that's why it's important that as human beings we must find a way to lift up others and always carry people. Any opportunity we have to give to people financially give to them education wise, support them in any area we can, whatever we can do to support the next generation or the next, anybody else, we must do it if we will Be given an opportunity. We must get somebody else, bring somebody else out, you know, I remember I went to speak at a place and there was a young girl, she was a student and she had just lost her mother and she had just lost her father and she was crying. She was extremely brilliant and she cried and she, she just talking and she was crying about how she did not know how she going to move forward in life. And when she spoke that day, I just said to her, I will take care of everything you need till you are done in university. This girl has gone, she's gone abroad to win things for Nigeria. Imagine if she did not have somebody to support her, but she would have been wasting away. So it's important that we are not selfish. Those of us that have. And it's not like we have, we have it all or we have everything, but we must, the little we have, we must give. Sometimes when I see somebody with 10 cars or I see somebody with 40 houses, what are we doing with it? When somebody doesn't even have a house or somebody doesn't have a place to lay their head. So as much as possible, we must try not to be selfish. We must be self aware. We must think of others. And that's how we can now begin to help other people. Begin to build wealth, begin to build success, begin to grow, begin to get more without. Because all of we're not grabbing, you know, we have a grabbing society, you know. So we need to learn to open up our hands, you know, and just give to others and help others. And then with that, that other person will now pay it forward. So we must always pay it forward. So it's what it is, is everybody. To be truthful, and I will say this is also in the Bible, the poor will never leave the land. You will always have the poor. It's there. It's inside the Bible. No, baby, right now. No, no.
- [58:28]
B
I did it.
- [58:28]
A
They will always be there. But guess what? You must be fair. You must help even those. The, the. You must help so as much as you can lift out, you know, do you understand? Of poverty or whatever it is. Poverty of the mind, poverty of money, poverty of health. Whatever you can do to help the next person, we must do it. So yes, we want. We're going to build. All of us, as they say, we must all blow. We must all make this money. But not at the expense of another person, not at the expense of another human being, not at all costs. You know, some who think is at all costs, it's not at all cost.
- [59:09]
B
Get Rich or die dry.
- [59:10]
A
Ah, no, because, you know, you can't carry this money. You can't take it to heaven. We can't take it. Yes, it's sweeter to be driving, crying in a Bentley. Oh, it's nice. But guess what? Can you carry Bentley? You can't carry Rolls Royce. You can't carry it to heaven. You can carry it even inside the grave. You are going to be alone. Can't carry nothing. So it's just important that we understand that. And then the next set of people, anybody, is to understand that, look, life is not set up to make you fail. Yes, things may be working against you, but you have to understand that you, on the inside of you, you have success. You know, you are made for more. You are, you are. You are. God has deposited something on the inside of you that can make you great. But greatness, too, you know, greatness is different things to different people. Success is different things. Wealth is also different things. Some people think that wealth is that you must have billions of dollars in the bank. Do you have wealth of people? Do you have wealth of knowledge? Do you have wealth of health? You can be. You can be sick and have all the money and you cannot enjoy. Is that wealth. Do you understand what I'm saying? So it's just important that we all have this at the back of our mind and just really just try and push the next person always. You know, if it's that you can give your time, your words, your money, whatever you can do to help the next person as much as you can, because you cannot help everybody, please. I need to put that caveat because I want to kill you. Hey, they said that we cannot help everybody.
- [60:43]
B
They are coming into your dm.
- [60:44]
A
I cannot help everybody. I cannot help everybody. So I needed to say that.
- [60:49]
B
Fungi. Have you enjoyed this conversation?
- [60:52]
A
I've absolutely loved it. I've actually said quite a few things that I've never. I've never said before. Yeah. So it's very. I love it. I'm happy.
- [60:58]
B
No, thank you so much. Is there anything you want to say to my audience?
- [61:02]
A
Oh, my goodness. To everyone. Right. I just want to say to you. Don't mind me. No. I just want to say that life is a journey. Life is. And we're all on different parts, and we're all going to, you know, experience different, have different experiences. And life is also in seasons. So there's a season of luck, there's a season of abundance, there's a season of. I'm feeling sad. There's a season of joy, of. Of joyfulness. There's a season that life is. There's a season of your business doing well. There's a season of your business not doing as great. There's a business of you feeling like, am I enough? There's a season of I am all that. That just recognize the seasons and look at what you need to learn in every season. Use every season as a learning opportunity. Use it as a learning moment. Another thing I will also say is that never, never think that you are going to walk alone. But not Liverpool, but you will never walk alone. Right you are. You need people. You need community. You need people that would, you know, hold your hand. You need people that would guide you, teach you, correct you, scold you. People will heal you. People that will tell you that you are not all that. You need it. You need people. So never think that you can. You're. You're made to do life alone. Find a community. Listen to this. Always listen to all these. Plenty. Listen to this podcast. You are going to get things that going to help you in life. So life is in seasons. We're all on different journeys. You need community and just try and find your purpose. You know, what you are, what you. What you. You think that you've been destined to do. Some people stumble on it, some people find it immediately. Some people are still looking for it, but don't feel bad, but just keep at it. You find something that when you have found it, there's all the joy in the world is yours. So, yeah, I just want to say thank you.
- [63:10]
B
You know, you're a very passionate woman. You know, I. I don't know. I'm sure my audience will agree. Even the advice you're giving us, I can tell passion behind it.
- [63:21]
A
Yes.
- [63:21]
B
That you. You sincerely mean what you are saying.
- [63:24]
A
Yes.
- [63:25]
B
You know, and that goes a very long way to help you become the type of person you are, because it's in everything you do.
- [63:32]
A
Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.
- [63:34]
B
And thank you so much for your time.
- [63:37]
A
Thank you.
- [63:37]
B
I. I really appreciate this conversation. Yeah, I'm sure we'll do a part two of this. Maybe in Ghana.
- [63:43]
A
Maybe in Ghana. Definitely Ghana.
- [63:45]
B
Yeah.
- [63:46]
A
Yeah, we're going to Ghana.
- [63:48]
B
So for my listeners and for my viewers, my name is Derek Abite and we have been speaking with fbo. So if you enjoyed this conversation, drop it in the comments. And if you made it to the end, you are indeed one of my champions. Thank you. I'm out.