B (3:36)

Do you think there's a lot of societal pressure on young girls and women in general?

A (3:43)

I can't. Well, I can speak from just what people have told me because personally I do not know.

B (3:51)

How about what you see around what I see?

A (3:54)

Well, I think people. Some of the pressure is self imposed.

B (4:01)

Okay, love it.

A (4:03)

Some of the pressure can be avoided. You don't have to believe everything you see. Right. But you realize that people are so addicted to the successes of others and they're thinking, Chart your own path. Really, you need to chart your own path and you need to know what you want to do. Focus on what you want to do and stop paying attention to what others are doing. You can be inspired by them, but be authentic. Do not copy. The fact that Derek is wearing a white shirt and it looks good on him doesn't mean a white shirt will look good on me. I may look very pale in a white shirt. It will probably make me look really ugly. But don't buy pressure for yourself. When you are 23 years old or 25 years old and you are not employed, don't think your life is coming to an end. And so you want to end it. You want to commit suicide because life's pressures are getting to you. When you graduate from the university and everybody expected you to get a first class and you didn't. I mean, I didn't get first class.

B (5:14)

Neither did I.

A (5:15)

Exactly. It's okay if you get a first class. I mean, it's wonderful. My son got a first class and I respected my son that because I couldn't have. I couldn't have landed the first class. It was possible, but it hasn't stopped me from being what I want to be. So a lot of the pressure, people are watching, but also the pressure comes from society because you find a young girl who's 28 years old and you're thinking, huh? Or a man who is 35 and they're going, who knew I was so Nairibi? But the man is not ready. The girl is not ready. But there is so much pressure that the man will go and borrow. He will go and take a loan for a wedding. And even after their wedding, two years into the marriage, they are still paying off things they use for the wedding. A young girl at 28, she's just found a job trying to figure out life because, you know, you really never know what you want to do. There are people who are now discovering themselves in their 50s. People wait till 61, then they discover that, oh, this is actually what I want to do. But there is so much pressure from society that at a certain age you should be married. At a certain age you should have a child. And they remind women of their body clock that at some point you cannot. Science has advanced so much, people are freezing their eggs.

B (6:38)

Or those that have the money, isn't it?

A (6:40)

Yeah, those that have the money. But even if you don't have the money, right? If you don't have the money when you have a child now, who's going to take care of the child? Because the decisions. You cannot be emergencies for me. If you have a child and you cannot take care of your child, don't think that because you've had the child anyway and according to you, but do not think that your problem becomes my responsibility. And that is why I get upset when people feel they are entitled to other people's money. People judge what other people do with their money. I see very wealthy people engage in a certain lifestyle and somebody will sit somewhere and say, sasikawe, you could have taken care of 15 children. I mean, how dare you? That is his or her money. He decides what he or she wants to do with their money. If you go and have a child today and you're not ready to have a child, find a way. But don't think that you are entitled to anybody's money. So the pressure, really, sometimes it's not so much there, but it's the actions we Take the decisions we take if we allow the pressure to get to us. And at 28, you are not ready to get married. At 28, as a man, you don't have your life figured out and you are going to go into a relationship, settle down, have another human being to take care of. You are not ready. Look, Derek, for the rest of your life, you'll be depressed every day because you will see your friend Derek, who was your classmate, doing his podcasts, practicing his pharmacy, able to buy his car, able to buy a house, and you are wondering what's happening to me. It will send you into depression. And so we must be able to share our experiences and our stories for people to know that the pressure we felt 25 years ago should not be felt today. The children of today should not go through what we went through, the pressures we had when we were growing up, that at this age you must marry. At this age, have a child, at this age you must have your car. Who says that to anybody? Do you know what they are doing with their money? Do you know what other responsibilities they have? But don't make your life's clock somebody's clock, because, I mean, I don't wear wristwatches for a reason. But don't put anybody in a certain hole and think that because I did this at this age you should be doing that. It's not fair, you know, it's not fair to anybody. So the pressure is there. Some of it, people allow the pressure to get to them. Some of them, they just buy the pressure because they've seen Sewa me here on social media, looking very good, wearing this dress and they think, no matter what. But a lot of the time, se why didn't buy the dress? Do you get it? I mean, I don't buy, I don't buy clothes. If I buy a dress, then there must be something very spectacular about the dress. Or I've seen a young lady starting a brand and I want to support, support, so I will buy. But ordinarily I have designers in Ghana who will say, nanaba, wear this dress for me. Another weather, including this, somebody made it and said, oh, Nanab, I want you to wear it one of these days. So you posted and tagged me, but I haven't bought this dress. So when you see me wearing it, don't go and look for money to go and buy because Nanaba wore it. Whatever you have, make do with it. And just know that in five years, in two years, I'll be at that level too. Based on the decisions and the actions I take today. So don't go and buy pressure for yourself and don't allow the existing pressure to get to you. Because as they say in tree. Motif, that's not what they say changed it. What do they say? You've changed it.

B (10:52)

You know, there's an aspect of you which is what I figured out in this conversation. Nana would not let anybody put her in a box.

A (10:59)

Never.

B (11:00)

And by allowing yourself to be put in a box, you are limiting your potential.

A (11:05)

Absolutely. You're not just limiting your potential, you are allowing people to control you, to control your narrative. You can't control anybody's narrative. I don't know how that can ever happen to me. It's not possible. For instance, if I walk into a place and you invited me and I even need a favor from you, and I've gone into meetings where I really needed a favor from the people, I show up. The meeting is at 9, 9:15. The maximum I will wait is 45 minutes, 30 to 45 minutes, 9, 30, you are not there. I need a favor from you, but I'm out. I will leave. I will not sit for hours because you think I'm at your beck and call connected minds podcast.