Segment: 'I'm Not Correcting Your View of Me' - The Freedom of Not Caring What People Think

Summary

Konnected Minds Podcast
Host: Derrick Abaitey
Segment: "I'm Not Correcting Your View of Me" — The Freedom of Not Caring What People Think
Date: February 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the liberating power of self-assurance and the refusal to be defined by others’ opinions. The guest, Nanaba, shares her personal journey to confidence, discusses cultural challenges regarding self-perception in Ghana, and offers candid advice for young people—especially girls—about authenticity and self-protection. The conversation weaves lived experience, practical wisdom, and heartfelt advocacy, speaking directly to those who want to crush limiting beliefs and build their own unstoppable confidence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Origins of Self-Belief

[00:05]

• Nanaba attributes her inner strength to the biographies and memoirs of resilient leaders like Madeleine Albright and Roosevelt.
• Books taught her that successful people are simply human: “They have the same number of hours in a day, just like me ... so why not me?”

Notable Quote:

"There is nothing you, Derek, can say to me that will bring my spirit down ... I don't lose sleep over the opinions of people I think shouldn't really be discussing my life because I've discussed myself. I know what I'm capable of doing. I know what I'm incapable of doing." — Nanaba [00:36]

Ignoring Negative Opinions

[01:45]

• Social media negativity is dismissed; Nanaba neither reads nor internalizes it.
• Instead, criticism or rumor “eggs [her] on,” providing unexpected motivation.

Notable Quote:

"The only person who can bring my spirit down is me." — Nanaba [01:28]

On Authenticity and Owning One’s Perception

[02:27-03:55]

• Nanaba refuses to correct others’ views of her—positive or negative.
• She openly embraces whatever labels others give: “Oh, absolutely, I am [full of myself]. If that’s what you believe, take it and run with it.”
• Her motto: “I am not in the business of correcting anybody’s view of me.”

Memorable Moment:

"When people meet me and they experience something else ... I say to them, it is true. You just met a different version today. I’m not going to try and casual you to like me because I really do not care if you like me or not. I do what makes me happy." — Nanaba [03:28]

Empowering Women and Men

[03:56-04:22]

• Despite being a feminist (“I’ll put women first”), Nanaba’s empowerment work includes men, particularly those struggling with confidence.

Ghanaian Cultural Attitudes Towards Confidence

[04:33-06:44]

• The stereotype that Ghanaians are timid is strongly refuted.
• She clarifies the distinction: “Ghanaians are not timid. Ghanaians are overly nice ... They play nice, but in their hearts, they know.”
• Respect, politeness, and a resistance to open disagreement are prized—but Nanaba wishes for more open dissent and honesty.

Notable Quote:

"No one should confuse that as timidity. Because Ghanaians are not timid. When they really need to rally behind something they do fearlessly, they do." — Nanaba [05:21]

Advice to Young Girls (and Young People)

[07:04-08:20]

• Be yourself, be authentic, and learn to discern which advice is worth taking.
• She stresses the necessity of trustworthy support systems, and directness in speaking out against inappropriate advances or exploitation.

Notable Quote:

"If you come across anybody [who wants to take advantage] ... be confident enough to tell them that I do not subscribe to that and go and report them." — Nanaba [07:40]

The Power of Saying No: The "Women of Valor" Anecdote

[08:24-09:42]

• Nanaba recounts an emotional moment from her Women of Valor event, where an attendee wanted to share a personal issue.
• Exhausted, Nanaba stands by her boundaries: “I know how to say no. I say no because my spirit says no. I’m tired, and I will say no.”
• She provides the young woman with her number, promising help when rested, reinforcing the importance of self-care and honesty over people-pleasing.
• “Don’t say yes when you know very well that your actual answer is a no.”

Memorable Moment:

"If you’re crying because I don’t have the time to talk to you right now, then go ahead and cry more because I don’t have the time. But if you’re crying because of why you want to talk to me, call me tomorrow. I’ll be well rested and my brain will work." — Nanaba [09:16]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:05-01:45] — Foundations of Self-Belief: Reading and inspiration
• [01:45-02:29] — Dismissing Negativity & Social Media Criticism
• [02:27-03:55] — Embracing Self-Image & Rejecting the “Correction” of Others’ Views
• [03:58-04:22] — Empowerment Work with Both Women & Men
• [04:33-06:44] — Ghanaian Cultural Perspectives on Confidence vs. Timidity
• [07:04-08:20] — Speaking to Young Women: Authenticity and Reporting Abuse
• [08:24-09:42] — Personal Boundaries: The Right to Say No (Women of Valor story)

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Notable Quotes

• “There is nothing you, Derek, can say to me that will bring my spirit down.” — Nanaba [00:36]
• “The only person who can bring my spirit down is me.” — Nanaba [01:28]
• “I am not in the business of correcting anybody’s view of me.” — Nanaba [03:15]
• “No one should confuse [Ghanaian politeness] as timidity.” — Nanaba [05:21]
• “Be yourself ... You need to be true to yourself. You need to be authentic.” — Nanaba [07:05]
• “Don’t say yes when you know very well that your actual answer is a no.” — Nanaba [09:16]

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Summary Takeaway

This episode advocates fiercely for self-knowledge and unapologetic authenticity. Nanaba demonstrates that self-worth is internally sourced—not dependent on external validation or correction of others’ misperceptions. Her anecdotes and advice are deeply grounded in lived experience and cultural insight, offering empowering lessons for anyone struggling with self-doubt, societal expectations, or the desire to be liked by all.

Transcript

[A]

Enjoying it. If you really think through your life when you were young, where did that come from?

[B]

Books. Huh? Books. I've read Magdalene Albright's book. I've read Roosevelt's memoir. I've read books. I've read books. And I say to myself, these were great. They had plans. Some of them didn't have plans. They got into it by accident. Things happened to them, but they persevered. They persevered, but they are human beings. They have the same number of hours in a day, just like me. They have the same organs as me, so why not me? And so it's just the books that I read that have inspired me, okay? That have inspired me. And so there is nothing you, Derek, can say to me that will bring my spirit down. And so sometimes when people are on social media discussing me, people come in. They're not, are you okay? I. I haven't even seen what they're saying because I don't see it. I don't pay attention. I don't lose sleep over the opinions of people I think shouldn't really be discussing my life because I've discussed myself. I know what I'm capable of doing. I know what I'm incapable of doing. And so if Derek, you have a. Some friends you sit with and you are busily discussing Nanaba and you think you are saying the worst things about me and it's going to bring my spirit down. You actually egg me on. You. You egg me on because I thrive. I thrive. You can't bring my spirit down. The only person who can bring my spirit down is me. And I go through that every day. This morning when I woke up, I got a message from a Rwandan. Rwandan. One Rwandan minister who said, oh, I heard about Women of Valor, and I want to attend Women of Valor in March. And I'm thinking, whoa, Rwanda. How did they know? Oh, my God. Maybe somebody in my. My team mentioned it to her, or somebody has gone to tell her something about me. What does this woman want? And I'm thinking, but I've been promoting this thing. I've done it. This is the fourth year. So, I mean, it's not a big deal if she knows, right? And then I get into. That's the arrogance. But no, no, no.

[A]

This is.

[B]

It's. It's.

[A]

You know yourself.

[B]

I know myself. No, I know myself too well. And so. And my friends know that I don't care about certain things. For instance, Sewa, when you go and tell Sewa something about Nanaba, thinking that Nanaba. Okay. Sawa will tell you, Nanaba doesn't pay attention to nonsense. And I really don't pay attention to nonsense. I. I don't.

[A]

Let's look at how it appears.

[B]

How does it appear?

[A]

I mean.

[B]

I mean, because I really don't care how it appears. That's the thing, you know, if you sit down and you think, oh, this is. This girl is so full of herself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, absolutely. Yes, I am. Oh, absolutely, I am. If that's what you believe, take it and run with it. If you think, oh, Nanaba is so sweet, she's so intelligent, she's so kind, absolutely, run with it because that's what makes you happy. I am not in the business of correcting anybody's view of me. And so when you say that Nanaba is rude, I say, yeah, it is true. I'm not going to tell you. Oh, I don't even know why people say I'm rude, though. Because me, I'm a very nice person. No, I don't say that. So when people meet me and they experience something else and they say, oh, people say you are rude, I said to them, it is true. You just met a different version today. Maybe one day you meet that pa. I'm not going to try and casual you to like me because I really do not care if you like me or not. I do what makes me happy.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Yeah, I do what makes me happy.

[A]

You've been empowering women.

[B]

Women and men, actually. Except that I'm. I'm a feminist. I'm a feminist, so I'll put women first. But it's not just women that I empower. I empower men, too. I have. I've had issues with men who don't have confidence. And I have to sit down, do pep talks with them, guide them, do

[A]

this, don't do it cultural that. Let's say you take the average young Ghanaian. Is it cultural that they don't. They naturally don't have the confidence?

[B]

No. Okay. You know when people say that Ghanaians are timid, I disagree. Ghanaians are not timid. Ghanaians are overly nice. They are just too nice. Ghanaians don't like offending people to their face.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right. Yeah. I'm not going to call it hypocrisy, but they are just very nice people. You're wearing a shirt that is absolutely hideous. And the Ghanaian will not tell you, oh, Michelle will say, oh, Fox. Because they play nice in their hearts of heart. They know, but they don't want you to look bad. They don't want you to feel bad. It's the reason when we are even saying good morning, we want to add, please, because we are overly polite, we are overly nice. No one should confuse that as timidity. Because Ghanaians are not timid. When they really need to rally behind something they do fearlessly, they do. So no one is timid. No Ghanaian is timid. And I disagree completely. When a child is growing up, you are taught respect. You are taught to be polite. Don't start a sentence without using your magic word. Please end a sentence with your magic word thank you. When somebody does good, say thank you. That's how we are brought up. It doesn't mean they are timid, they are just very respectful. But do not try to disrespect the Ghanaian. You will see the real Ghanaian. And so it is not true when people say that culturally we are timid. We are not timid, we're just very nice. We're just very polite. We're very respectful. Sometimes too respectful for my liking. Too respectful because I like it when people disagree with others. You know, disagree. Be. Be confident enough to disagree with people. But because we are too nice, we don't want you to look bad because, oh, what Derek is saying is absolutely rubbish. But they can't say what you're saying. Okay, Martin.

[A]

Well, I guess that's why a lot of people do it online, right? So they will say it online. They hide behind anonymous accounts and do a lot of funny stuff.

[B]

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

[A]

So let's really look at that young girl that is looking at you right now thinking, my God, I just love the way she speaks. I love how it all comes out. What are you going to tell them?

[B]

Well, I tell them a whole lot of things. The first one is to be yourself because you can't be anybody else. You can't be anything else. You've got to be yourself. You need to be true to yourself. You need to be authentic. Okay? You've got to be authentic. And people will say when they advise you, take it. But some pieces of advice are absolutely balderdash. They are just nonsense advice. But if you're a young girl, you must have a proper guide behind you. It is your parent who is ready to listen to you or your pastor who is ready to listen to you, your uncle. Human beings will not take advantage of you like proper human beings who will not take advantage of you because you're a young girl coming up and you're beginning to develop breasts and your hips are enlarging a bit. And so the man wants to take advantage of you, not those kind of human beings. And when you've come across anybody like that, be confident enough to tell them that I do not subscribe to that and go and report them. If it's not your father you're reporting to, there is. Or your mother. There is a person who would listen to you when you come.

[A]

And even if it's coming from home, find somebody to report, because sometimes it's so lovely.

[B]

Let me tell you what happened with the first edition of Women of Valor. We had Eugenia. Eugenia came to share her story of how she was taking advantage of this child. She was defiled. Her father's friends. Her father's friends who would come to the house. Yeah, who would come to the house.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

You know, pretending. Hey, you know how. Well, these men. Hey, Meri, what's the same? That kind of thing. That is a red flag. Men who do that to children, little girls. Mary, Mary. It's a red flag. Okay. But they did that to her. But fortunately, Eugenia is a fighter. Eugenia has been able to overcome it. She did this didn't stop there. She set up an organization called Safe Space. The Safe Space. And that's what she does, you know, advocating better protection for girls. Now, Eugenia shared her story. And after the story, there were so many girls. I mean, the whole room broke down. We were all crying, you know, and her mother was there. Her mother was hearing the story for the first time. Yeah. And her mother cried so much. Okay. Yeah. But there was a girl in the crowd. People share their stories. There was a girl in the crowd who could not speak up because she was going through it. And so after the event, she came to me and said, nanapa, can I talk to you, Derek? I was so exhausted. I was really tired. And I had been speaking to so many people that day because there were over 200 women in attendance. And. And I said to her, you know what? Not today, not now. Because that's another thing that I know how to do. I know how to say no. I say no because my spirit says no. I'm tired, and I will say no. And people. And so for the young girl, you should know when to say no. Be. Be confident to say no, because you are not ready for this and don't do it. Don't say yes when you know very well that you're actual answer is a no. So I told. I told this lady that. My love, not today, not now. I am exhausted. But this is what I will do. Take my number and I don't ordinarily give my number out. I said, take my number, Call me. And as I was saying, take my number and call me, I saw tears running down her cheeks. And I said to her, if you're crying because I don't have the time to talk to you right now, then go ahead and cry more because I don't have the time. But if you're crying because of why you want to talk to me, call me tomorrow. I'll be well rested and my brain will work. Well, my brain will work better because as I'm talking to you right now, everything I'm saying is nonsense. I'm tired. So she said, okay, well. So when I said that, she thought I was joking, but I meant it as she laughed, you know, she went away. The next day, 7am she sent me a text that this is the girl who wanted to talk to me. I said, okay. So I called her, where are you? She's at Afena and she wants to see me. I said, yeah, come home. I'm home. Come and see me. So she came over. It took her about three hours to get to get to me. Of course, she was coming from Afena. She was stuck in traffic. But she came to see me. And when she walked into my living room and she sat down and I offered her water and she gulped everything down, I just thought, today is going to be a long day because this girl is going to unload. So she started talking Connected Minds podcast.