A (0:00)

The answer to the question is women may initiate because they get in there and they discover that comfort is not just about money. They want time, they want attention, they want affection, they want a number of things. And they discover that they have all the money, but they are not satisfied with just the money. They want something more. And the man says, I've provided everything. There is nothing you call for, even when you don't call for. I make it available. And the woman says, I don't want the things I want to. It's like men. Some men don't understand that male and female are wired differently. As much as the provision is needed, is appreciated, it's best to understand that if you do not want divorces to skyrocket and that you become a victim of such a thing, you've got to be able to come up with a vision. Vision of what kind of family do we want to build? What kind of legacy do we want to create? What kind of inheritance do we want to give our children? Are we going to raise survivors? Are we going to raise dynasties? All these zeros around money sit down and have deep conversation around these areas that makes the woman know that he's coming, she's coming into a situation where it's not a uni. Unilateral decision making when it comes to finances, but based on these parameters, we put on the table of the kind of home a common shared vision, even as it relates to finances. This is where we are then. Divorce will literally be a thing of the past. But most times divorce comes as a result of the fact that not much is communicated. And just take what you see, okay. Without engaging on the modalities that make the person feel a part of it. I will in no way subscribe to divorce. No, I will in no way subscribe to. I will in no way subscribe to it.

B (1:49)

Yeah, but, but, but, but watch this. Two people get together and the man is heavily entrepreneurial. Once you start a business and the woman knows the vision, right. They've had this discussion that this is what, you know, he really wants to do. As a matter of fact, before she met him, he already had a business that he was working on. The two of them come together and as part of the family plan, is really to build a legacy for the family. Now, in your view, he should the woman support the business to allow the family to build a legacy or should she do her own thing?

A (2:27)

Brilliant question there. It takes us back to shared vision. See, most times, I would say not many women will come. I know there are some Bad notes. Not many women will come into the life of a man who has clarity with regards to where they are headed, has built a business, wants to expand, wants to build a dinner. He wants to expand and make the business, you know, massive and something to leave behind for the next generation. And then you've communicated with your wife. The real issue is not joining force with you to build. But you know, I said something earlier and I go back to it. There is. How do I put it now? Avalanche of information. Avalanche of information. So that woman you married that would really want to support you, stumbles on information that a woman supported a husband and at the end she was thrown out. You know, we are, we are byproduct of information that hits us, except you're grounded and mature in deciphering what to take in and what to. So if she stumbles on such a thing that some woman helped and then they were thrown out, or the mother was thrown out, effect of upbringing, effect of what she saw, she may want to support, but based on the antecedent of what she saw before, she may not be willing. So now the onus lies on the husband to bring her to a place where she understands that whatever produced you, good or bad, is not what is going to be the outcome of who we are. So if you have any premonitions of the pastor, didn't work out, that this is not where we are, help us build this, but in helping us build this common business as a family. I want to ask, do you have dreams and aspirations no matter how small? Because God never created any junk. So I believe you have dreams. Can you share your dreams and aspirations with me so that I can also encourage you, no matter how small, do something on the side because that will bring the best of you out. So now it is not just the woman coming to support the agenda of the man, which is 100% good, but seeing a man who is also interested in digging deep into who she is and trying to bring her out so that in supporting him. And her dreams are not dead. So is the balance, is the balance that women want sometimes not to come into a place where you lose yourself completely, you lose your essence and you know that everybody carries creativity. Nobody is created with nothing to add to the society. It may be within a limited time frame based on the seasons of a person's life. So it's important that we know for peace to reign in marriages. And when issues of marriage come up, it is important to know that men, some men have to come to the place where they know that communication is key. Even though we are discussing business and the future of the business and the family, communication is key. And most women who completely ignore the fact that they were supposed to come and support and also encourage and also nurture on because they feel left out, not limited information comes, they kind of feel a sense of threat that, oh my God, I don't think I'm a part of what is going on. Okay. So I always would advise when people come to the counseling table, I will tell men, there is nobody. That is really weirdo. There is nobody. It's the effect of upbringing, effects of environment that raised a person, significant emotional experiences. The person had these three things contribute to who you ultimately have as a support base. Us as counterproductive human. So give attention to seeking knowledge in these areas so you can have his support that will take over the business for you even if he doesn't follow you to the office. But he will pray for you, encourage you, do everything because he feels safe in the fact that I came and met you, pushing, succeeding and all that. And that I don't want to be reduced to just an object in your home, but that you carry me along. They know where I'm coming and understand my mindset. So as you work around with me, I will fully comprehend that we are in this together. But don't also make me feel that I don't have dreams or I am not somebody to be supporting.