Marriage Counselor (2:44)
It depends on who the woman is married to. It's not a blanket answer. Yes or. I say that with all caution. The right thing is to be transparent financially. That's the right thing. Financial transparency. Oh my goodness. 101% financial transparency. But you see, every marriage is not the same. There's a marriage that if a spouse knows everything you earn, the children's school fees may not be paid, house rent will not be renewed, certain basic needs and utilities will not be taken care of because. Not because the other person is bad, but because there are tendencies that needs to be. To be nipped. I still go back to how we were raised. There are people I have counseled a person that said all through his life, before he married, he never had savings, never open account as a man, never. He has a chops it. Finish. He starts again, chops it. I'm not saying I read from a book, you know, so. And you can't blame him because upbringing, effect of upbringing. Most training is for the formative years. So I go back now. Should women open up completely? Yes. If you have a husband that understands management and understand how to, you know, handle finances and then the two of you will join your. Your head together to making the best out of the finances you are blessed with. But if you have a man that, if you open up completely, you have three children or two children or four children. And you have a man who if he knows how much you earn, he'll finish it with drinking or taking it to take care of. I have this job exposes me to thousands of human beings. So I have. I'm not saying this because it's a hate knowledge from. No, no, no, no, no, no. I have met a man who when once the wife used to hand over 100% of her salary to him. 100%. He was not unfaithful. He wasn't playing around with women. No. He will use that money to visit people who are not well to visit them and see how they are doing. And the money will finish in two weeks. So you get to know that the children's school fees are pending, money for food in the house finish. He's using the car and run around and do whatever he wants to do. And he's not contributing a dime to the household. He wasn't making. He wasn't generating any income. So it's very dangerous to come and sit down and say be transparent when you do not know the dynamics operational in people's homes. So it depends on the home. It depends on the couple it depends on what is playing out. But the real thing should be financial transparency. I have sat in a place. I was tired one of those days and I needed rest and my husband said, okay, you go rest somewhere. So I went to one of the hotels to just cool off a bit for. For a weekend. There was a. I. I was to leave, I think Monday evening or so, and a woman drove into that hotel. Okay, this is real life and this is me. So I had gone. I didn't want to take breakfast that morning, but I just felt there was strong compulsion to go to the restaurant. So a few minutes to 10, I decided to walk there. And this woman drove in in her SUV with the driver and came and then asked, can I sit with you? I said, that's okay. And she sat with me. She came, she worked with the World bank then that's a couple of years. I've never met her. I never knew her from Adam. She sat with me and started talking. We exchanged pleasantries. And after she opened, the nutshell is she said she's been crying in the car driving from Accra to that place. Why? She works with World Bank. Her husband had called and said that his car had broken down and so he needed about $500 equivalent to fix the engine of the car. She said she didn't have. She had to raise it from the office and send it to him. So unfortunately, the mechanic was trying to reach him to let him know that the spec they were looking for, he couldn't find. He kept calling, he couldn't get him. Ultimately he had to call the wife and said, okay, I've been trying to reach boss, this is the situation. And he asked, okay, oh, why it should be a common distance. He mentioned the car. It wasn't his car. He had collected this money to fix the side chick's car from the wife that he doesn't support. Please evade your sister, your mother, your whatever. Will you now be 100% transparent to a person who is not trustworthy? So in counseling and in helping relationships, you've got to know not one size fits all. It depends on the dynamics of the marriage people are into if you are married to a woman or a man. And there are also cases of women where once they know how much you earn as a man, if he doesn't finish, they will never rest. They will buy all the lessons they should. They did everything. They'll place a demand on that money such that you can invest, you can live a productive life. So do you now go and tell him, I've just won a contract of $100,000. Hey hey Ranch rover that they have been waiting for. The money has come. But you see every marriage must outlive itself by living inheritance for the children in living inheritance for other people God had connected to your loins for you to be a blessing to so the question the answer is hundred percent yes. If you are married to a person that you are the same wavelength a person that you are working together at creating a future and making sure that you will not look back with Reg and how the money was expended that you were supposed to be wise in managing the information around it.
