← Konnected Minds Podcast with Derrick Abaitey
Konnected Minds Podcast with Derrick Abaitey
Segment:- Marry Your Equal or Stay Single : Marrying Below Your Vision Turns Your Partner Into a Liability.
Loading summary
Transcript13 lines
- [00:00]
A
That my husband is fulfilling what he told me that he was going to do later in life. I told her I wanted to have grandchildren all over the world. When we were preaching from church to church, she would tell me this one. You are teaching people about finance and all this. Make sure that when the people come to visit us, they will see something on ground. And so we started investing. We punished ourselves for like slaves, so that we could buy our freedom. So she told me that let us invest in such a way that if we don't want to travel, to preach or do anything, we can stay in our houses and our homes and enjoy. And so it became a participatory building of the family. Recently she said, you don't give me money and you talk on YouTube. Financial orgasm. Oh, you're not giving me financial orgasm. Then I told her, bring the check booklets. She brought the cheque booklet. And we started calculating how much I had given in a month. And it was a large sum of money. Then she asked me a simple question. Did I use it to buy cloth for myself? Did I use it to buy food to eat for myself? Is it not the projects that the family has that I'm spending it on? And I was ashamed of myself because it is true. My wife builds every day at one point. All the cars I drive, she buys them at one time from our businesses.
- [01:27]
B
Is it because you thought she was more capable of building the businesses than yourself?
- [01:32]
A
You know, women, the olden days, women or the womb, the visionary woman that you, you must create. You know, men, we take women to swimming pool, we take them to nine clubs, we take them to Dudurime, Ameno, we buy azo, we buy this, we. We smoke clothes, we. We are living in delusion. But when you bring a woman to reality and you let her know it is not there, and I will have to prepare it, we have to cook the meal to eat it. When a woman contributes to cooking a meal, when I mean meal, finance, future finances, she hardly spends it. But when a man has money, he spends like fire. Even the money you have given to your wife, I don't know, affordable me, when I induce this, I'll bring all the money from preaching, from sale of books. But she was also selling. She would sit in the. In the trunk of the car, of the bus. Instead of going to sit with pastor's wives, she will sit in the boot of the car and be selling my books. I was producing intellectual, intellectual wealth, but she was bringing money from the intellectual wealth. Are you following what I'm saying? When they tell her, go and sit in the altar or the front seat, she will say, altar, no. They pay children school fees. That the altar does not pay children school fees. When she has sold those books to get that money from her to do something frivolous, you hardly get it. And she will staple books. My wife will have printing press. My wife can operate printing press. She will do many things to get that money. To do a frivolous thing, you can never get it. Because when a woman contributes to the economy, her money is like plantain leaves. You have plantain in Ghana here. Have you ever seen plantain leaves fall down? They dry, they stay by the side of the plantain. It's only mango leaves that fall down. If a woman is admitted in hospital, she might have money in her pocket, in her. In her. In her purse. She will wait for the husband to pay the deposit for the treatment. Because there is a sense of. During the First World War, when men were shot, they cried, mommy, they didn't cry daddy. There is a sense of preparation for the future in case there is disappointment, she's looking at you, that anything can happen to you, you can die and your in law, your brothers can come there and throw her out. So she's trying to secure her future and the future of her children. And that's why women who contribute to the economy of a family, they manage finances better. And that's why the Grameen bank in Bangladesh found out that when you give micro loans to women, they manage the micro loans better and they pay better, pay quicker. So for me, a contributory woman, when I mean contributory, she's working. She manages finances better than the consumptive. There is a story of a man who was spending, you know, men spend money like fire. They spend money, spend money. The man was throwing money up and down. And from the money the man was throwing to the wife, the wife was collecting some. They didn't have a house at a house in their village. The woman secretly went home, built a house, and then told the man, let us go back home, let us go to your village. The man said, no, there are too many witches there. Not going. They got there, he saw a bungalow. The man was angry who built house in my father's land. Then the woman brought the house keys. He said, it is the money you were throwing away. The peanuts I collected. That's what I used to build this house. The woman. The man started crying. So women who are contributory women you share a purposeful life with as a.
- [05:22]
B
Young man growing up.
- [05:23]
A
Yes.
- [05:24]
B
How do you identify such a woman.
- [05:27]
A
Okay, let's go to the servant of Abraham that went to look for a wife for Isaac. He said, the lady I would tell to fetch water for my camels will be the one. And she will to give me water to drink. And she will say, I will fetch for the camels too will be the wife of my master. Why? Number one, she has to be able to entertain strangers, accommodate and show love for humanity irrespective of their status. Number two, she was responsible in her father's economy. That was why she was taking the flock to the water hole. And there were no other girls before her. So she has punctuality and a sense of responsibility. Moses married Zipporah. Zipporah was also a shepherdess. Despite the fact that that they were ruffians attacking them in the world, Zipporah still went. Moses would have needed such a brave woman to marry to go through the wilderness. And so Isaac, Rebecca, I think is her name, fetched water for 10 camels. Isaac inherited camels from Abraham. Now, I always said that don't let your erection give you direction when your brain is strong. Downstairs, men are controlled by two polarities. When this polarity is functional, that idiot in between the legs that does not get born again is not functioning well. And so you must always make sure that the polarity here controls the polarity below. So Isaac's wife needed to love camels to be able to marry Isaac. So what is it that you are doing? Does your wife fit into the dream? Does she identify with the dream? Does she have a chemistry with your dream? Does she have the capacity to manage your. I'm able to be here because my wife has the capacity to manage our businesses that are handed over to her. So does she have consistency in producing results? We call my wife Julius Bega is a construction company in our country. Because she is our builder, she builds. On her 50th birthday, I asked the children, what do you give to your mommy for 50th birthday present? My last born said we should give her sleeping medicine to sleep because she works, she's always working to fetch water for 10 camels that the servant went with. A camel drinks 30 gallons of water. 30 gallons times 4 is 120 liters. Times 10 camels is 1,200 liters. Times acceleration due to gravity times the distance to the well is the amount of joules of energy he used in fetching water from the well to the camels. The depth of that well, the the one In John chapter four was 138ft deep when it was excavated in 1945. So imagine how deep that well was for the woman to fetch. 1,200 liters. That is 60 jerry cans of 20. 20 liters to feed to water the camels. And the man now saw capacity and competence. The Bible says the man watched. Don't rush to bed. Watch the girl, because sex is confusing. A stupid girl might be more active in bed than in business. So can this person. How does this person fit into my dreams? The womb that will carry your children must have the mental capacity to carry your vision. So when you are dating, it's not the touching, it's not the kissing, it's not the. You observe. You try to bridge between this person and your vision and where you are going to. So that's important. That's how to choose. Then you ask yourself, is this person trainable? Okay, Is this person willing to learn? Can this person adapt? Are we meeting at the level of heart rather than the level of the brain?
- [09:29]
B
Okay, what's the difference?
- [09:31]
A
When you meet at the level of the heart, it's emotional. You live at the level you meet at the level of the brain is rational. And so it is very, very dangerous for men to marry below their social classes, their intellectual classes, and their educational classes. You just took another baby into your house. You took another body into your house. You didn't bring a partner. It was better for you to buy a sex doll. Who will not get. Who will not place a demand on you. A woman that you must always instruct and tell to before she takes initiative is a burden. Is a plc. It's a private liability concern. You enter.
- [10:08]
B
It's deep. Some men are saying, I tell you this. I was speaking to this lady who was married for about 25 years before divorce, and she was saying that the main reason why they divorced was because she herself, her job started paying her more. She worked so hard, and, you know, she increased her, you know, academic status, career status, and the man was intimidated by how much she was bringing in. Does this happen in a lot of marriages?
- [10:40]
A
Wow, you. You have stayed overseas? Yep. That is one of the major reasons for divorce in the UK and in America.
- [10:52]
B
Why?
- [10:52]
A
Connected Minds podcast.