Segment: Money, Mentorship, and Mastering Your Business Vision

Summary

Konnected Minds Podcast: "Money, Mentorship, and Mastering Your Business Vision"

Host: Derrick Abaitey
Date: May 19, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of Konnected Minds dives deep into the realities of building wealth, the importance of mentorship, and strategies for overcoming obstacles in business and personal growth—especially within the African and Black experience. Derrick Abaitey and his guest unpack limiting beliefs about money, the psychological roots of fear and hesitation, and provide actionable advice on mastering one's business vision. Special attention is given to financial literacy, family responsibilities, and mental wellness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance and Scarcity of Mentorship

• Lack of generational guidance:

  • Many first-generation professionals and entrepreneurs lack family members with experience in their chosen fields, leading to a sense of isolation.
  • Quote [00:00]:

    "Imagine wanting to be a lawyer and your father wasn’t even educated... Who do you go to for advice on, you know, what did you do in the past that made you fail? What do you think I can do better in the future? So it becomes like a lonely place for you." — Guest

• Necessity of finding mentors:

  • Without established guides, people face more failures and must seek mentorship externally.

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2. Financial Literacy and Cultural Attitudes Toward Money

• Challenges in money management among people of color:

  • Financial literacy isn’t often taught in Black communities, leading to challenges with long-term financial planning.
  • Observations of other cultural groups reveal they often have family strategies around money.
  • Quote [01:07]:

    "For us, I think money has always been a source, something that we grew up not having. And so we see it as a source of happiness... But having a plan is actually what makes you happy because it's like you're creating your own cushion so you don't wake up with a sense of fear." — Guest

• Money as happiness vs. money as a tool:

  • Many equate money with immediate happiness rather than security and strategy.

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3. Mastery and Focus in Building a Business

• Identifying personal strengths:

  • The guest reflects on the need to understand oneself before diving into business, advice once given by a mentor.
  • Quote [03:19]:

    "One of my mentors said to me... make sure you go down into the little details... Once we start doing businesses, we tend to look on the top. We forget the little details that come from it."

• Sticking with one business:

  • Jumping from business to business breeds failure and mental fatigue. Real mastery—and financial success—comes from persistence and being thorough.
  • Quote [05:07] (Host):

    "Nobody ever made money from multiple businesses from the beginning. A lot of the people that we see, they have so much money, they worked so hard on that business. When that generated enough funds, then they sort of put on autopilot, then they moved on to the next."

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4. Diversification—When & How

• Advantages of multiple businesses:

  • Multiple sources of income provide security, but only after mastering the first.
  • Internal diversification is preferable to jumping into unrelated ventures.
  • Quote [05:57]:

    "If you have, like, maybe a business here and this business is, you know, covering your rent or your car and you have another one covering your home expenses... But... starting a business and, you know, beginning to diversify right away can be very dangerous." — Guest

• Related diversification:

  • Expanding related business verticals (e.g., owning a hospital AND doing medical supply) is less risky and more manageable than launching entirely new, unrelated businesses.

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5. The Roots and Management of Fear

• Where entrepreneurial fear comes from:

  • Fear of starting or failing often traces back to childhood experiences of discouragement and trauma.
  • Quote [07:53]:

    "Most fears... come from our childhood trauma. Such a person may be...experiencing when they were younger, maybe anything they were trying to do, they were being like, oh, maybe you can do this, you can't do that. Oh, this is too big for you." — Guest

• People’s negative projections:

  • Family and friends often highlight risks, sometimes discouraging innovative thinking.
  • Turning negatives into opportunities is a crucial entrepreneurial trait.

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6. Not Everyone Should Be an Entrepreneur

• Self-awareness and suitability:

  • Business is not for everyone; personality and appetite for risk matter.
  • Quote [09:58]:

    "We always talk about entrepreneurship and we talk about business as if it's something that is all for one thing, it's actually not. Not everyone... can actually go to school and be a medical doctor. Not everyone can be a nurse..." — Guest

• Living with fear, acting anyway:

  • Fear should not paralyze; successful people act despite fear.
  • Quote [11:47]:

    "Fear is just something that is fake. We just use it to tame ourselves now... if it all doesn't work, I would stop again." — Guest

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7. Dealing with Responsibility and Mental Health

• Being the family’s hope:
  • The emotional toll of being a family’s primary provider, especially when feeling stuck or overwhelmed.
  • The importance of honest communication with loved ones about one’s own struggles.
  • Quote [13:05]:

    "The people that we are trying to feed, they tend to think we are okay or we are magicians... the first thing I would say is...he needs to communicate to them a little bit more... Because feeling suicidal is like a... point where you feel like there's no hope. But in any situation, there is hope." — Guest

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• On the loneliness of being a pioneer:

  "Imagine wanting to be a lawyer and your father wasn’t even educated... Who do you go to for advice?" — Guest [00:00]

• On the importance of planning for money:

  "Money works by strategy. You need plan." — Guest [01:07]

• On business mastery:

  "If you pick one business and master, it doesn't matter how many times you... have the up and downs, you're still going to be better than anybody who started that business, like, you know, a year ago or two years ago, if you've been doing it for 10 years." — Guest [03:19]

• On the pitfalls of early diversification:

  "Starting a business and, you know, beginning to diversify right away can be very dangerous, which I have made that mistake before." — Guest [05:57]

• On transforming fear into action:

  "Fear is just something that is fake. We just use it to tame ourselves... if it all doesn't work, I would stop again." — Guest [11:47]

• On mental health and family pressure:

  "Even the people that we are struggling for... tend to think we are okay or we are magicians... The first thing I would say is...to communicate to them a little bit more so they know what you’re going through." — Guest [13:05]

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Notable Moments & Timestamps

• [01:07] Financial Literacy and Cultural Attitudes: Why money is often misunderstood and mismanaged in Black communities.
• [03:19] Mentorship and Detailed Mastery: The power of mentorship and the lesson to “know the details” in one's craft.
• [05:07] Single Focus vs. Diversification: The value of mastering one business before expanding, addressed by both host and guest.
• [07:53] Understanding Fear: An exploration of the psychological roots of entrepreneurial anxiety.
• [11:47] Overcoming Fear: Personal strategies to act despite lingering fear.
• [13:05] Mental Health and Family Leadership: Advice for those feeling overwhelmed by family expectations.

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Episode Tone & Style

The conversation is authentic, empathetic, and highly practical—mixing candid personal storytelling with step-by-step advice. Derrick and his guest speak directly to listeners’ real-world struggles, offering hope, clarity, and encouragement without sugarcoating challenges.

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Recap for New Listeners

This episode is a rich resource for those navigating the intersecting worlds of business, family responsibility, and personal growth—especially for first-generation entrepreneurs. Key takeaways:

• Seek mentors; if you don’t have them in your family, look outside.
• Financial planning beats instant gratification.
• Master one area deeply before diversifying.
• Fear is natural, but shouldn’t be debilitating.
• Honest dialogue about stress and expectations is crucial for mental wellness.

If you’re feeling stuck, unqualified, or alone on your journey, this episode delivers a resonant message: perseverance, self-knowledge, and strategic thinking can move you forward—no matter where you start.

Transcript

[A]

Even though you are trying to be bigger than your father, you still have the, you know, the foundations of information that you need. So imagine wanting to be a lawyer and your father wasn't even educated or your mother was not even educated. Who do you go to to get that? Or you don't come from a family and you are the only one in your family that actually standing out to, to be a lawyer, to be a business person. Who do you go to for advice on, you know, what did you do in the past that made you fail? What do you think I can do better in the future? So it becomes like a lonely place for you. You have to either do the work, fail so many times and learn your lesson, or you have to find a mentor, someone that you see like there is something in them that you want to learn from that can actually help push you up and give you that kind of a cushion. But other than that, it's very difficult and you're going to make a lot of mistakes and you're going to do so many businesses and before you can actually have, you know, the right one.

[B]

Do you think a lot of us has bad attachment to money and our financial resources?

[A]

I think especially when, when it comes to people of color in, especially with black, you know, people, I think that we don't teach a lot of financial literacy. When I, when I, when I was studying outside and I lived outside, I saw that, you know, the, my friends that came from other racial backgrounds actually did have their parents, did have a strategy for them. So, you know, growing up, they tend to, you know, have them do certain things in order to understand money for us. I think money has always been a source, something that we grew up not having. And so we see as a source of happiness. So anytime we get money, it's equal to happiness for us. So it's hard for us to sit down and understand that that's not how money works. Money works by strategy. You need plan. You need to be able to plan in the next, you know, when my retirement, a lot of people don't even know what, when they want to retire. And most people know when they want to retire, if they want to retire 40. You don't always have to retire at 60. You can retire 40, 45, 50, 60. But most people know that if I would live up to 80 and I retire 60, I have enough money to start, I would save that. I'll be able to travel if that's what I want to do. If I want to go back and live in my village, this is how much money. So once they plan towards that, their life is usually a lot more comfortable than when we have money and we spend it as we go because we think money is buying things that is going to make us happy. But having a plan is actually what makes you happy because it's like you're creating your own cushion so you don't wake up with a sense of fear as to where your life is going because you have everything be laid out. If you.

[B]

And you know, I know a bit of your portfolio and what you've done. Now if you were to start again building your business and, you know, becoming who you are today, what would you have done differently to reduce the, the, the mental pressure on you?

[A]

I think I would have identified who I was, which is something that is very difficult for us when we're younger to sit down and understand who we are. One of my mentors me this thing, and I'll never forget, he said to me, jahara, everything that you do, make sure you go down into the little details of it and make sure you know everything that you are doing, the little details of everything. Because once we start doing businesses, we tend to look on the top. We forgot the little details that come from it. So that is something that I think came from that book. What's the name of that book? With Mastery. Being able to master. Whatever. If you pick one business and master, it doesn't matter how many times you, you would have the up and downs, you're still going to be better than anybody who started that business, like, you know, a year ago or two years ago, if you've been doing it for 10 years. So I think that is what I think in the beginning, I started jumping from one business to another. The minute I see something that's not working out, like I'm quick to give up and move on to the other instead of me actually sitting down and going, why is this thing not working? This usually there's a solution to most, you know, business problems that as long as you've started a business, sometimes you're able to open your doors and a few people able to come in. I don't believe in closing it. I believe in, you know, sitting down to re. Analyze what is going on, restrategize and bounce back. But I always run away from my businesses and, you know, I'm glad I am where I am now, but I would have usually put a lot more effort into my businesses before ever walking away from it.

[B]

I think one of the, the beautiful strategies that I've learned is doing one thing really well and master it before, you know, moving into the next business. And, you know, there was this chapter who was saying that nobody ever made money from multiple businesses from the beginning. You know, a lot of the people that we see, they have so much money, they worked so hard on that business. When that generated enough funds, then they sort of put on autopilot, then they moved on to the next. But, but sometimes, like you're saying, you know, we are very quick to say, you know what, this is not working, let's move on. This is not working, let's move on. And that gives us a lot of pressure because we are taking one trauma from here to the other.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

But do you still think multiple businesses are important for financial success in the long run?

[A]

Yes, I think so. I think multiple businesses, like, you know, I mean, if you're going to make money, you have to have different, different ways to cushion you. So what, what I, what I would always say is that if you have, like, maybe a business here and this business is, you know, covering your rent or your car and you have another one covering your home expenses or something, it kind of gives you that balance where you're not afraid if one is going bad or not. Now, in saying that, just like you said, starting a business and, you know, beginning to diversify right away can be very dangerous, which I have made that mistake before. So I, I would not advise anybody to anyone to start and diversify. But when it comes to businesses, one business, one business has its own internal diversity. So when you look at that business and be like, okay, this is what I do. I have a hospital. I have a hospital. But then medical supply is actually on the. And then you realize that, okay, fine, I'm bringing my own medical supply, but instead of supplying just my hospital, I can supply other hospitals. So that's actually a different business under the same umbrella. But you are not just going from doing a hospital to going to maybe opening a restaurant. Those are two different things that can actually, you know, drive you a bit insane because those are two different things. But once they kind of correlate, you can build outside of that to, to generate a different kind of business. So you are not really leaving what you are doing. You're only opening up the windows for, you know, other things to come in.

[B]

I, I posted a video and I had this young man who sent me a message and said, I'm scared of starting my business. Why do you think those things happen? Where does the, the fear come from?

[A]

Well, I think that most fears as Someone who's into psychology and studying psychology. I think the most fears come from our childhood trauma. Such a person may be, you know, experiencing when, when they were younger, maybe anything they were trying to do, they were being like, oh, maybe you can do this, you can't do that. Oh, this is too big for you. Or that. So when they grow up, venturing into new things become a of problem, they're used to stability, they're used to having to have a certain way of doing things and not coming out. But the thing about business is you have to be willing to risk it. You have to know that, okay, I'm going to do this, there's a possibility I'm going to fail. But I'm not looking at the failure. I'm going to look at the positive side of it. And you're going to have people when you're starting a business, and I experienced that a lot in the past, that they would tell you when. The minute you say, I want to sell tomatoes, they will tell you, you know, tomatoes, if you don't sell it two days is going to rot. You know, you have to need a car. You know, it's like they would always look at it the negative side, and try to advise you. By the time they are done with the negative and they try to tell you the positive, you're actually even like, ready to give up. So I think that thinking outside the box and do. Sometimes it has to come from your own sense of self that, okay, that's what a person thinks about selling tomatoes. But that's not how I'm gonna go, I'm gonna can my tomatoes. I'm going to put the tomatoes in the hole in a can and, and, you know, keep it. So when the tomatoes is out of stock, I'll bring my canned tomatoes. And people have no choice than to buy it because it's going to be cheaper than the fresh tomatoes. So instead of doing. Looking at all the negatives that they have about the business, take that negative and rebottle it and, and make even your business better, rather than being afraid of it.

[B]

But, you know, there are two groups of people, right? So there are the people who get demotivated by words like this. And then there are people. There are a group of people where even when you've given them all the motivation, they still don't do it.

[A]

So for such people, I don't think business is for them, unfortunately. And we always talk about entrepreneurship and we talk about business as if it's something that is all for one thing, it's actually not. Not everyone that is listening to us can actually go to school and be a medical doctor. Not everyone can be a nurse because they are not used to taking care of people. They don't have that motivation to do that. If not everyone wants to be an engineer, they are not interested in technicals and, you know, angles and things. So I think for a business person, you have to know yourself as a person. Like, who are you? Are you someone that it's, you know, ready? Are you somebody that's ready to tackle certain things? Are you ready to deal with certain things? You have to analyze, that is your personality. Someone who likes to go out there and get things done. Are you a creative person? Are you. If you're not a creative person or you're not interested in creativity, you can. It's not going to be a fun job for you to go on a film set and say, I want to be an actress or an actor. So just like business, you have to have that tendency, like, I'm ready to risk it. And yeah, fear is something that I would. I would. Even as I said here, sometimes I'm afraid when I'm venturing into something, something new. But my fear is I'm afraid. But that doesn't stop me.

[B]

Let me stop it here for a minute. If you've been watching this show, I want you to subscribe and become part of the family. We are on a journey of changing the lives of people on this channel and we appreciate you for being here. But if you haven't become part of the family, connect with us. Hit the subscribe button. Now, let's carry on the conversation. How do you break that, though? How are you able to, you know, cross that and say, yeah, I've got a bit of fear, but I'm still gonna move on?

[A]

Yeah, because for me, when I sit down and analyze myself, I think fear is just something that is fake. We just use it to tame ourselves now. And so when I look at myself and I say to me, imagine if I was dying tomorrow. Would I have been shy of this person? Would I have not told this person exactly how I feel? Wouldn't I be. How would I feel if I was dying tomorrow and I wasn't able to do this because I felt somebody was going to look at me a certain way or people are going to talk about me, or if I feel people would say, oh, she didn't. If I feel, so what? I start again. And so that is how I get to my fear. Just the feeling of it all doesn't work, I would stop again.

[B]

So there was this young guy who sent me a message, and for the purpose of this conversation, I call him Sam. And he said, you know, he's feeling very financially stuck and that sometimes, you know, because he's the only person in the family that can potentially turn things around, but he's not able to, you know, get it to work. And that sometimes give him suicidal thoughts. It makes him feel like he's alone in this world. There's no help. How do you talk to such a person?

[A]

What I would say to such a person is that communication is key. Even the people that we are struggling for, the people that we are trying to feed, they tend to think we are okay or we are magicians or we're just like, you know, God sent people that don't have problems of our own because we always tend to provide for them so they don't get to worry the way we worry. So the first thing I would say is that for the people that he helps or he trying to make their life better, he needs to communicate to them a little bit more so they know actually how or what he's going through as a person. Because feeling suicidal is like a. It's like a point where you feel like there's no hope. But in any situation, there is hope.