Segment: My Parents Never Turned Against Me - Even When I Dropped Out and Had No Future Plans

Summary

Konnected Minds Podcast
Host: Derrick Abaitey
Segment: My Parents Never Turned Against Me – Even When I Dropped Out and Had No Future Plans
Date: April 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

This segment of the Konnected Minds Podcast dives into the struggles, family dynamics, and resilience of a young Ghanaian immigrant in the UK, focusing on how supportive parenting shaped his journey from uncertain beginnings—dropping out of school and having no clear future—to eventually making a cultural impact through music. The conversation unpacks themes of identity, ambition, parental support, and choices made against prevailing immigrant expectations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Beginnings: Building from Scratch

• Starting as Equipment Hires (00:00-00:28)
  • The group began by hiring out sound equipment for major events in the UK.
  • Originally, there were four members (A, Mr. Trips, Mr. Shooks, Moscam), later expanding to six with the addition of Harry, Black Ash, and DJ Abrante.

2. Lifestyle, Jobs, and Parental Dynamics

• Balancing Jobs & Side Hustles (00:36-00:54)
  • At 19–20 years old, some group members worked day jobs (e.g., John Lewis), while others (including the speaker) didn’t have conventional employment or attend university.
• Dropping Out & Family Response (01:11-01:43)
  • The decision not to attend university wasn’t by choice but by recognizing it “wasn’t meant for me.”
  • Despite disappointment, his parents never turned against him:

    “But they never, they never turned against me or anything like that.” – C (01:42)

3. Navigating Cultural Expectations & Future Ambitions

• Defying Immigrant Aspirations (01:49-02:03)
  • Parents of that era expected children to become professionals like doctors or lawyers.
  • The guest admits he had no clear vision for the future:

    “I was just going with the flow... I didn’t see the future.” – C (02:09)

• Potential Threat of Being Sent Home (02:20-02:37)
  • Reference to common parental threat—“shipping back to Ghana”—but his family didn’t consider it seriously.

4. Parental Support Amidst Uncertainty

• Unwavering Backing (02:47-03:00)
  • The guest shares that his parents would always describe him positively, regardless of his academic or career status:

    “They never turn against me because I didn’t do well. Never.” – C (02:57, 03:00)

5. Lost Dreams and Music as Salvation

• Adapting When Plans Change (03:11-03:32)
  • Originally dreamed of being a footballer, but after facing barriers, he shifted focus:

    “My dreams were shuttered when I wanted to be a footballer and it didn’t happen.” – C (03:11)

  • In the UK, once dropped from football as a youth, alternative paths had to be found.

6. Impact Through Music & Community

• Cultural Impact in the UK (03:42-04:56)
  • Began by playing Ghanaian events (funerals, weddings), then grew into a household entertainment name among Ghanaians and the wider African community.
  • Faced early rejection in mainstream venues (e.g., due to being African):

    “For us, trying to step into that entertainment scene was a no-go. We got turned away everywhere we went.” – C (04:20)

  • African-Caribbean Societies at universities helped provide platforms for their expansion.

7. Musical Evolution and Competition

• Genre and Rivalries (05:02-05:32)
  • Didn’t play Acid House; focused on R&B, swing beat, Miami bass, hip hop.
  • Competed with prominent UK acts like Rampage and Tim Westwood.

8. Hosting Major Events & Community Pride

• First Major Ghana Independence Event (06:06-06:58)
  • Organized Ghana Independence celebration (circa 1990–1992) at Chinilla's Nightclub, now Westfield in Stratford; about 4,000 Ghanaians attended.

9. Finances, Ambitions & Reflections on Money

• Motivations Beyond Wealth (07:54-08:35)
  • Early motivations focused on popularity and community, not on wealth or property:

    “We’re cool DJs. But the popularity was also good... people calling us, booking us...” – C (08:00-08:08)

  • Regrets over not saving or investing early earnings:

    “One of the many mistakes I did... the amount of money I was making as a DJ, I should [have] put some money away.” – C (08:24-08:29)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• The pain and directionlessness of youth:

  “I didn’t think of anything. I was just going with the flow. That’s the truth of the matter.” – C (02:09)

• Unconditional support from parents:

  “They never turn against me because I didn’t do well. Never.” – C (02:57, 03:00)

• Community pride and achievement:

  “That generation at that time was super proud of what we were doing.” – A (05:56)

• On cultural barriers and resilience:

  “For us, trying to step into that scene…was a no-go. We got turned away everywhere we went…” – C (04:20)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00-00:28 – Starting the equipment hire business
• 01:11-01:43 – Parental realities and dropping out
• 02:09 – “Going with the flow,” lack of direction
• 02:47-03:00 – Parental support in the face of disappointment
• 03:11-03:32 – Dreams of football, forced redirection
• 04:20 – Facing rejection in UK entertainment venues
• 06:13-06:58 – The first Ghana Independence event, community impact
• 08:24-08:29 – Realization about money and missed opportunities

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Tone & Style

The conversation is candid and introspective, blending vulnerability and humor, and easily shifting between nostalgia, pride, regret, and gratitude. The guest speaks openly about personal failings, family support, and how cultural and community dynamics propelled their eventual success—offering insight, connection, and encouragement to listeners navigating their own journeys.

Transcript

[A]

Obviously we would take our equipment there. So we were more like a sound system, just hiring out equipment to do this big, big event in the UK at the time.

[B]

And these were all six people were

[C]

all black boys at the time? No, we only four at the time.

[B]

Four, right.

[A]

So it was myself, Mr.

[C]

Trips, Mr. Shooks, Moscam.

[A]

That was the four of us. Then later on we became six when we had Harry, Black Ash and then we had DJ Abrante as well. So then we became six from, from

[C]

being a sound system.

[A]

Now we're moving to what we call the DJ world because now we started DJing ourselves, putting on our own events together.

[B]

Okay, so the four of you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Your plan was just to hire out

[C]

the equipment that you have for profits? Yes. For profit? Yeah, we were making money. Okay, we're making money.

[B]

You had no other thing that you're doing? You guys are not working regular jobs?

[C]

No, we had jobs. I know one or two of them had jobs. I know. I think Mr.

[A]

Trips and Mr. Shooks at the time were working in John Lewis. I didn't have a job. Moss had, like I said, he was a producer, so he's doing one or two other things as well.

[B]

How old were you at that time, you remember?

[C]

I think I'm just 19, just about

[A]

to be 20 years old.

[B]

So like a 19 year old?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're still living with your parents?

[A]

Yeah, I was still living with my parents, yeah.

[B]

And you were not working?

[C]

I wasn't working.

[B]

Not in college, not in uni?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay. Now, I think, let me bring you back to you deciding that you not even want to go to university.

[C]

It wasn't by choice. It wasn't. It wasn't meant for me, honestly, it was not meant for me. And I know, I know mom and dad were disappointed, but it wasn't meant for me. Mom and dad had other siblings that were. Were going to school, so it substituted for that. But it wasn't for me. But they never, they never turned against

[A]

me or anything like that. Yeah.

[B]

But how did you, how did you envision your life was going to be because you've come to the uk?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, a lot of the parents that you saw were doing many jobs.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Right. And their aim was that their kids will go to school and become doctors, nurses, lawyers, you know. But then you chose that. I don't want to do that.

[C]

I don't want to do that. I didn't want to do that.

[B]

But how did you envision that your life was going to be at that time? Take you Back to that time, I

[C]

didn't think of anything. I was just going with the flow. That's the truth of the matter. I was just going with the flow. And I was so happy just playing music or renting out my equipment. I was happy. I. I didn't see the future.

[B]

I'm sure they didn't ship you back to Ghana at that time.

[C]

You know, I'm sure it's a conversation but. No, it didn't. They didn't.

[A]

No, they didn't. They didn't think about it now. They did. Which.

[C]

Which normally if you're not doing well,

[A]

it forms part of the discussion. We're going to ship you back to Ghana.

[C]

I wish they did anyway because I really wanted to come back to Ghana.

[B]

So you at 19:20. If I spoke to your mom and dad today. Yeah. And ask them. Okay, so how is, you know the young teenager Dennis? How is he? What would you think they would have

[C]

said about you mom and dad? Oh, he's a great boy. It's a wonderful boy.

[A]

He's a good boy.

[B]

Even though you were not in school? Yeah.

[A]

My mom and dad would back me to.

[C]

To the grafters. Anything they would do, they never.

[A]

They never turn against me because I didn't do well.

[C]

Never.

[B]

Like I'm looking at the man you've become today achieved so much for culture, for a country and for a genre basically had no dreams.

[A]

No dreams at all.

[C]

My dream, my dreams were shuttered when

[A]

I wanted to be a footballer and it didn't happen.

[C]

That was my dream and let's be honest, in the UK at a time to be a footballer you've got to be young. You know it wasn't whereby now you could even go through the lone lake

[A]

runs like someone like in rights did he played lonely football and then he got spotted by Crystal palace and yeah

[C]

you have to go through the system the minute you get dropped out, that's it. You have to find your own way.

[B]

Okay, let's get back to the four of you and your dreams of, you know, making profit from hiring.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think I've worked with Moscam before.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's done some shows where excellent involved. Yeah. How did that the four of you translate into two additions?

[C]

Easy. Four young Ghanaian boys that was doing

[A]

something towards the Ghanaian community. Playing at funerals, weddings, christening at a time.

[C]

We were proud. But then there was a turning point

[A]

which is all part of what we've established 90 his squad.

[C]

We became a household name in the

[A]

UK when it comes to entertainment.

[C]

How did you do that just by

[A]

playing music to Ghanaians. And then from playing music to Ghanaians to. Then the African community gripped onto it.

[C]

Because if you remember back at that time, if you're African, you're not cool. And an African person like ourselves trying to get into an establishment whereby there's a different. There's another community there. The Caribbean Committees were already there. For us, trying to step into that, that, that scene, entertainment scene was a no go. We got, we got turned away. Everywhere we went, everywhere we went, we got 10. The only people that took to us was the Ghanaian community at the time. And also, I'll go as far as to say all the, the acs, the African Caribbean Society and all the various universities, they played a key role in 90 as well. Because now whether it's Bruno university, whether it's TV, Coventry, Coventry, Kingston, all the ACs were booking 90%. These are, you know, Young Gun.

[B]

We're playing Acid House.

[C]

We didn't play. No, we're not playing Acid House. Fun enough. Okay. We never Acid House. We just renting to the promoters.

[A]

We never played.

[B]

Right.

[C]

We never.

[B]

So when you were going around, you were playing African music. Oh, what were you playing?

[C]

We're playing R and B. R and B.

[A]

Back in it. We call it soul revival, Rare groove Jungle. But there's too many music.

[C]

We were playing at Swing Beat, Miami, bas.

[B]

Okay, Hip hop. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, that's what, that's what we were

[A]

playing at the time. And we were up against some strong household names. Like you had the Rampage, you had a boogie bunch, you had Tim Westwood at the time was a legend. David Waligan, David Pierce, some big names.

[C]

And these four young Ghanaian boys out

[A]

there trying to do our own thing.

[C]

And we, we got accepted very well

[A]

by the, the African community.

[C]

And I keep saying the African community,

[A]

Africa, us in general, but I would say the Ghanaian community, they were super proud of us. That generation at that time was super proud of what we were doing.

[C]

And we're doing a lot of house parties as well.

[A]

Until one day we decided to say, look, we're gonna. To give our own event, which was Ghana Independence. And what year was this?

[B]

What was the first one? The first one you guys did?

[C]

I think the first one we did was 1992.

[B]

Oh, that was two years old.

[C]

You're joking. Yeah, 1990. I think we did that. And yeah, alongside me, so rest in peace.

[A]

There's a gentleman called Sammy K. Sami K was at the time, he was also a dj. Sammy K, DJ Francis.

[C]

There's a few people. And then Big Joe, a gentleman that

[A]

we call Big Joe Nakasi Records. At the time, he was doing records, he was shipping records from Ghana and then distributing them, various shops at the time.

[C]

So we all came together and we

[A]

held Ghana independence at a place called Shinola's Nightclub.

[C]

Chinilla's nightclub is now what I would

[A]

say Westfield in Stratford.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

That's where Westfield was.

[A]

And then, yeah, three massive arenas full of Ghanaians. I think there was about 4,000 Ghanaians there.

[B]

Wow. Yeah, the first one you did, the very first one.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let me stop you here for a minute. So if it's your first time watching Connected Minds or you have been here before but still have not subscribed, do us a favor, because majority of the people that watch our videos have not subscribed. This doesn't help us grow beyond what we expect. So help us by hitting the subscribe button. Thank you. Now, let's get back to the conversation. You know, while you were speaking like a 19, 20 year old young boy. When I was 19 20, yeah. The things I used to see in London was people moving out of London to buy homes in Essex, in Milton Kings. Milton Kings. Those were the things I was seeing. So for me as a young person, it was something I aspired to also do. Now, these four people you started working with as a group.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And the other friends you had, what were the conversations you were having about money? Apart from the fact that, you know, you just want to be DJs.

[C]

Cool DJs, we're cool DJs. But the popularity was, was also good, you know, whereby we were popular within

[A]

the community, people calling us, booking us,

[C]

you know, we were many celebrities.

[A]

You know, there was a time we all had the same jackets on, the same T shirts on when we going to places. You know, we had a 90% jacket

[C]

and it looked cool.

[B]

So you're not really thinking about, you know, let's put some money together, I want to buy a house. At that age, when I think about

[C]

all those things, one of the many mistakes I did because the amount of money I was making as a dj,

[A]

I should put some money away.

[C]

I was making some good money as

[A]

a dj instead of spending more on buying more records or buying more equipment, it's a mistake.

[B]

After Connected Minds podcast,