Segment: No One Got Me Here But God and Me - I Left for Accra Against My Mums Wishes

Summary

Konnected Minds Podcast
Host: Derrick Abaitey
Episode Segment: No One Got Me Here But God and Me – I Left for Accra Against My Mum’s Wishes
Date: March 25, 2026

---

Episode Overview

This segment of the Konnected Minds Podcast features a deep, authentic conversation between host Derrick Abaitey and guest Charity, delving into the personal origins of Charity’s drive for success. The discussion centers on childhood neglect, the search for freedom and validation, breaking away to build a new life in Accra, and the mindset it takes to overcome adversity. Charity’s journey illustrates how pain and lack of attention shaped her relentless ambition and desire for financial independence.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Struggles and the Quest for Independence

• Charity left home at 14 (SHS) to live with her older sister, seeking the freedom denied to her at home.
  • [00:00] “From 14 years... I went to my big sister... She was mostly not at home. So I had the freedom to be alone, do things on my own.”
• Lack of parental attention became a core pain point.
  • [00:30] “I never had any attention from parents, from the people I stayed with... So I used to crave for it so much...”

2. The Impact of Neglect on Ambition

• Charity connects her drive for success and recognition directly to her lack of attention growing up.
  • [01:24] Derrick: “Your desire to want attention has translated to you wanting to become financially successful.”
  • Charity: “Yes. I think a little bit of attention seeking has helped here because it made me push myself more. I want to be seen, I want to be heard.” [01:45]
• This need propelled her into teaching, business, and content creation.
  • [01:55] Charity: “I like setting the camera and, you know, talking about stuff. So when I found out I can do this business, I was like, I’ve learned it honestly, people don’t even have what is in my head I want to pour out to people.”

3. The Emotional Cost of Independence

• No adult ever listened to her problems as a child, and fear of her mother isolated her further.
  • [02:23] Charity: “Never. And I wish someone did, honestly, I wish someone did, but never. No one listened... my mom was a very hard person to deal with. We were so scared of her.”
• Charity’s need for freedom also led to isolation.
  • [03:26] “One of my biggest problems is networking... I always keep to myself and my two friends.”

4. Building Resilience Through Pain

• Charity is proud of her achievements given the adversity faced. She emphasizes self-reliance and faith.
  • [03:58] “I am so proud. I never thought I’d get here because... no one got me here except me and God.”
• Concrete examples of her resilience:
  • [04:14] “I’ve sold food by the roadside. I’ve carried water on my head... I’ve been through it and I know how it feels like. So I want to be somewhere that I don’t have to remember those times again.”

5. The Role of Family After Success

• Charity describes how newfound success shifted her status within the family.
  • [05:56] “Right now, when they want to make a decision, they call me. It wasn’t like that at first... no decision goes in the family without it passing through me. And sometimes I’m not interested, but I just have to put my one or two there.”

6. Parenting Philosophies Shaped by Personal Experience

• Charity reflects on what she would do differently as a parent.
  • [06:19] “I think I’ll show my kids how to love themselves. I’ll pour into my kids... and support them... I don’t want my kids to be afraid of me. I’ll make my kids my friend.”

7. The Leap to Accra: Against Family Advice

• Charity’s move to Accra was solely supported by her father; her mother was adamantly against it.
  • [07:08] “My dad was the only one with me... She [mom] said no, but I said yes because I felt like she doesn’t know me like she thinks she does... I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t going to get it in Kumasi.”
• Her bold step involved significant risk and uncertainty.
  • [07:44] “I didn’t know where I was going. I was supposed to go to a friend. Until today I’ve not seen my friend. She never picked up my call after I got to... So I had to lodge in a total stranger’s house.”

8. Motivation Behind the Move

• Desire for distance from family motivated her relocation.
  • [08:35] “I wanted to be away from my family... I wanted to be alone. Like if they want to get to me, they have to pick a car and come.”

9. The Start of Charity’s Career Journey in Accra

• First opportunities, setbacks, and pivots in Charity’s Accra journey.
  • [09:44] Got a job managing an Apple shop, left due to inappropriate advances, completed service early, tried construction work without pay/mentorship, relied on savings, and eventually stayed home for two years, supported by a relationship that eventually also ended.
  • [09:44] “So instead of going to the field to work like my colleagues, I went to work in an apple shop... things were getting weird, you know, men and women stuff, so I was like, no, I want to end it.”
  • [10:27] “I wasn’t getting much from [construction job]... I’m spending about 20 cedis daily, that was like a lot of money for me. And I’m not getting paid. Just I saved a lot from my previous work. So I was surviving on that... I cried... and I never showed up again.”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Charity, on resilience:
  “I am so proud. I never thought I would get here because... no one got me here except me and God.” [03:58]
• On craving attention:
  “I want to be seen. I want to be heard.” [01:55]
• On the family finally listening:
  “No decision goes in the family without it passing through me. And sometimes I’m not interested, but... I just have to put my one or two there.” [05:56]
• On the role of a parent:
  “I’ll make my kids my friend, not for them to be afraid of me.” [06:25]
• On the journey’s difficulty:
  “I’ve sold by the roadside... carried water on my head... I’ve been through it and I know how it feels like.” [04:14]
• Host Derrick, on patterns in entrepreneur journeys:
  “There’s always neglect, superiority complex, wanting to be seen... Feeling like they have a voice.” [05:15]

---

Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:00 – 01:18: Charity’s early quest for independence and the absence of attention
• 01:24 – 01:55: Link between craving attention and drive for success
• 02:20 – 03:08: Never feeling heard or validated at home
• 03:24 – 03:47: Effects of self-imposed isolation, networking challenges
• 03:58 – 04:40: Resilience, sense of pride, and detailed struggles
• 05:56 – 06:15: Changes in family dynamic due to her accomplishments
• 06:19 – 07:04: Charity’s philosophy for future parenting
• 07:08 – 08:11: Moving to Accra in defiance of maternal wishes
• 08:35 – 09:22: Motivation to distance herself from family, university experience
• 09:44 – END: First jobs in Accra, initial business attempts, setbacks and perseverance

---

Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is raw, vulnerable, and reflective, offering listeners a real-world blueprint for turning adversity into ambition. Charity narrates her journey with humility and honesty, while Derrick’s probing questions add therapeutic depth, making this segment both inspiring and relatable for anyone wrestling with familial expectations, neglect, or the pursuit of purpose.

---

For further episodes and inspiring stories, follow the Konnected Minds Podcast with Derrick Abaitey on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok.

Transcript

[A]

From 14 years, I think SHS. I went to the SHS and I never went back home. I never went back home. I went to my big sister, the one I'm after. I went to stay with her and she was mostly not at home. So I had the freedom to be alone, do things on my own. But you know, I was level headed, not to misbehave. I think that's also so I've always wanted to have my freedom.

[B]

Okay. Right. I think I'm figuring something out. So, Charity, did you feel like you didn't have freedom, the attention you needed?

[A]

I never had it. Huh. Even so now I never had any attention from parents, from the people I stayed with, you know, So I, I, I used to crave for it so much and I was like, since they're not giving it to me, I mean, I don't want even, I want to be alone because I'm not getting anything from you guys. I want to be alone. So I wasn't, they didn't pay attention to me that much. So they don't even know me much. That's why, you know, before we started this, I told you my mom was against me coming to Accra and I was like, is because she doesn't know me well, but if she knew me, she knew I wouldn't engage in some of the things she thought I would engage myself in when I get to Accra here. You know, Accra has that perception that once you come here, see that you are doing men, prostitution, you know, all that. And she was thinking that, but I felt like she didn't know me well, so that's why she was thinking that way.

[B]

I think I figured something out. I've spoken to enough business people to know that there's always a drive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Inside. And I think I worked it out. But watch this. That's. Your desire to want attention has translated to you wanting to become financially successful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that, is that so that people can now pay attention to your, your needs and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. I think a little bit of attention seeking has helped here because it made me push myself more. I want to be seen, I want to be heard.

[B]

This is the time.

[A]

I want to be seen. I want to be heard. So I like speaking to people, I like teaching. I like, you know, setting the camera and, you know, talking about stuff. So when I found out I can do this business, I was like, I've learned it honestly, people don't even have what is in my head I want to point out to people. So it was, I mean, yeah, that's how it all started. Because I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be heard. And by God's grace, did anybody sit

[B]

you down to listen to your problems when you were a child?

[A]

Never.

[B]

I'm sorry, but this is turning into a therapy, right?

[A]

I never. And I wish someone did, honestly, I wish someone did, but never. No one listened. I mean, I didn't even have anyone to go to because my mom was so some a very hard person to deal with. We were so scared of her. My dad was very soft and you know that. My mom was so scared of her. So if you have a problem, you keep it to yourself. And I didn't grow up with my siblings, so I didn't know who to talk to. So I would rather hold it inside of me and not talk to anyone.

[B]

You know, as a young girl growing up, anybody you know, any of your parents tell you they are proud of you, you know, you're beautiful. Those words never had, never heard that.

[A]

I've been through one more treatment to the other. So I said I wanted my freedom. I don't want to stay with anyone again. I'm okay being alone. So. And I've been alone since then. You know, it has its bad side, but the good side is also.

[B]

What is the bad side?

[A]

I think it makes you want to keep to yourself. One of my biggest problems is networking. I'm always at home working. I'm not able to go out network with people, you know, but sometimes I feel like I want to do that. I want to get to know people. I want people to get to know me by. I'm like, I don't want people in my business. So I always keep to myself and my two friends.

[B]

You not staying with your parents, people you know, more, treating you not feeling hurt has created the human being we are seeing today.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

Are you proud of what you've achieved?

[A]

I am so proud. I never thought I would get here because, you know, I've done so many things through pain to be neglected and, you know, all that and being able to push through because no one got me here except me and God. So I'm very proud I'm able to get to this point anytime I'm, you know, spending and overspending, my. My friends will be like, she has been through a lot. So, you know, I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I'm here because it's been a tough journey. I started working very early in life. I've sold go back, I've sold food by the Roadside. I've carried water on my head, you know, from 8 Accra. No, Kumasi. From 18. Is it Marquez? I've forgotten the name, but they call it something 18, something. From there I'll carry water on my head. Straight to race course, back and forth. I've been through it. I've been through it and I know how it feels like. So I want to be somewhere that I don't have to remember those times again.

[B]

If you're still, still here with me, I'd like to know in the comments if you're enjoying this conversation. We are supposed to be talking about money, but I'm trying to figure out the path that has created the charity I'm looking at.

[A]

The path is important and I think

[B]

not just, not just this story, but I've picked up several patterns, even with me, myself and several other business people I've interviewed. And there's always neglect, superiority, complex, wanting to be seen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Feeling like they have a voice.

[A]

Yes. You know, all right.

[B]

Some people have come from families where their opinion did not matter. So they have seen that as a way of, nah, I need to really work hard to make money because money has become like the ultimate through which people tend to respect people in societies.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So they go and get the money and now families will be calling them. What do you think about this? Has this happened to you?

[A]

Yes. I mean, before we started, I told you, right now, when they need. Not like they need, but right now, when they want to make a decision, they call me. It wasn't like that at first, you know, but now no decision goes in the family without it passing through me. And sometimes I'm not interested, but, you know, I just have to put my one or two there.

[B]

Charity, if you become a parent, what would you do differently?

[A]

I think I'll show my kids how to love themselves. I think I'll pour into my kids. Yeah, I'll pour into my kids. It's very important. And I'll make my kids my friend, not for them to be afraid of me. I don't want my kids because we were so much afraid of my mom. I think it's just now that we are not so scared. But at first you can't go to her for anything. You can't tell her anything. My dad, you can, but, you know, because of my mom's side, you're unable to go to my dad. And because my dad is very calm, he doesn't like problem. He's very calm. So whatever it is, he doesn't like to, you know, interfere with whatever my mom is doing. But yeah, I will show my kids how to love themselves because I suffered from that a lot. And I'll show them. I'll point to them, I'll point to them and support them.

[B]

When you decided to come to Accra, who was with you and who was against you?

[A]

My dad was the only one with me. But anyone else? My siblings didn't know, but I mean, they knew, but you know, they will always. If my mom says no, it's no. I see. If my mom says no, it's no. She said no, but I said yes because I felt like she doesn't know me like she thinks she does. So I'm not saying disrespect your parents, but I knew what I wanted and I wasn't going to get it in Kumasi. I was in Kumasi right after K N. I didn't go anywhere. I parked my stuff straight to a car. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know where I was. I was supposed to go to a friend. Until today I've not seen my friend. She never picked up my call after I got to. I think I'm a. That's a long story, you know. So I had to lodge in a total stranger's house. Stayed there for a long time, for about a month or two hours. I was starting my service and all that, so my boss helped me rent and yeah, that's where I started from, right? From university. I was like, I want to come to Accra.

[B]

Let me stop you here for a minute. So if it's your first time watching Connected Mind or you have been here before but still have not subscribed, do us a favor because majority of the people that watch our videos have not subscribed. This doesn't help us grow beyond what we expect. So help us by hitting the subscribe button. Now let's get back to the conversation. What is it about Accra that made you want to come to Accra?

[A]

I don't Kumasi. I have family in Kumas. I wanted to be away from my family. I wanted to be away from family. I wanted to be alone. Like if they want to get to me, they have to pick a car and come. I didn't want them to get access to me so easily. I think maybe because I was so hurt and you know, because I went, I packed my stuff and went to university alone and you know, invest. People are coming with their parents, their grandmothers and all that from the whole family. Could you Know bring you to the university. I carried my bag and went to Knust alone. So. And then I went there. No one came to visit me.

[B]

I went to university alone as well. Yeah. There's a lot of. This conversation is very therapeutic, even for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, but let's talk about money. Let's talk about money.

[A]

Right.

[B]

There's a temptation to carry on, but I want to talk about money.

[A]

Talk about money.

[B]

So let's do this.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So you came to Accra?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you started your service?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, now talk me through the journey from there to starting your business.

[A]

Okay. So when I was coming to Accra, I had met someone and then the person was like, he's opening a shop, then he will need someone to manage the shop, an apple shop. He's going to be big. And then he needed someone to take out the shop and he realized I was respectful and, you know, all that. So instead of going to the field to work like my colleagues, I went to work in an apple shop somewhere around Sphinxes. So right when I was working there, things were getting weird, you know, men and women stuff. So I was like, no, I want to end it. So I didn't even complete myself service I completed in seven months. So I went to the NSS office and filed for completion. So I just finished and then I only stay home trying to figure out what to do. So I had an opportunity to go and work with someone, work under someone in the construction field. But I wasn't getting much from it. It's like I wake up, go to work and I'm not being paid, I'm not learning anything. If I want to be on the site with you, I want to learn. Not just I want to learn on the job as well. But I wasn't getting that. So I was like taking. I mean, I'm taking transportation in and out, I'm eating, I'm spending about 20 cities daily. That was like a lot of money for me. And I'm not getting paid. Just I saved a lot from my previous work. So I was surviving on that for a while and I realized, no, my money is going to get finished, so I'm not going to go to work again. I woke up, I went to work one day and I was so depressed. I wouldn't say depressed, but so sad. I cried, I cried, I cried. I called my friend, I was like, come back home. So I went back home and I never showed up to the work again. And then I stayed home for about two years and just to, you know, clarify stuff. I met someone. I mean, someone. A guy from my workplace who was doing well. So that two years that I was home, you know, he came through for me. But I realized the relationship was not serving me again. Connected Minds Podcast.