Konnected Minds Podcast

Host: Derrick Abaitey
Episode: Self-Discovery Before Service: Why You Can't Help Others Until You Know Your True Self
Date: November 25, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Konnected Minds explores the concept of self-discovery as a prerequisite for effectively serving and helping others. Derrick Abaitey and his guest delve into the spiritual and philosophical reasoning behind the idea that one must know their true, expanded self before they can truly support and uplift those around them. Through relatable metaphors and profound dialogue, they examine the nature of spirit, mind, and body, and how forgetting our true identity leads to anxiety and struggle.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Spirit, Mind, and Body: Understanding the Layers of Self

• The guest explains that foundational attributes like peace, love, and joy are of the spirit; feelings such as anxiety and fear are attributed to mind and body.
• Metaphor: Driver and Car
  • You, the driver (the soul), have distinct needs from the vehicle (body/mind). Focusing only on maintaining the car while neglecting yourself leads to problems.
  • "Mind and body, they are not you and they need things. But you take care of who you are first before getting into it. Otherwise you get into it and you start wrongly because you ignored who you are." (A, 00:45)

2. The Expanded Being and the Drama of Life

• The "real you" is described as the expanded presence (spirit/God), which is eternal, while mind and body are temporary manifestations.
• Life is likened to a drama or a documentary—created for both education and entertainment.
  • "Who you are narrows down, comes to a point, we call it mind. And it goes down further to the last point, physical. Then you are the body. Now, these things are not original. The original, the source is the expanded presence." (A, 01:41)
• The journey into physical existence involves forgetting your expanded state to engage fully in life's experiences, with the goal of eventually returning to that awareness.

3. The Purpose of Challenge and Suffering

• The hosts explore why an "expanded being" would choose to experience limitation and suffering:
  • Suffering and challenges are framed as "education," not punishment.
  • Only with awareness of the true self can one transcend the suffering and find peace, suggesting that in any drama, distress comes from identifying too closely with the mind and body.
  • "When certain souls learn faster, then they move faster and they understand the pattern and then they enjoy it." (A, 08:15)
• Metaphor: Learning to Swim
  • At the beach, the waves can panic a non-swimmer, but a swimmer enjoys them. It's not the waves that change—it's the skill and awareness of the person.
  • "The one who doesn't know how to swim is in danger and is panicking...The one who knows how to swim may even enjoy the waves." (A, 09:15)

4. The Return to the Expanded State

• The hosts agree that the end goal is to remember and return to the expanded, spirit-based self, recognizing that all worldly experiences are part of a cosmic drama.
  • "Every soul will reach it and look back and wow." (A, 09:45)
• Even intense pain and loss are placed in the perspective of cosmic illusion, powerful enough to seem real but ultimately not the essence of who we are.
  • "The power of the spirit is so much, I mean, unlimited. So unlimited. So when even creates illusion, the illusion looks so real because of that power." (A, 10:50)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On self-care before helping others:
  "You take care of who you are first before getting into it. Otherwise you get into it and you start wrongly because you ignored who you are."
  —[A, 00:45]
• On life as a purposeful drama:
  "A drama is purposeful. When you have a documentary, you set it and you watch it up to some point and then reset another. So the spirit is doing these things as a kind of drama..."
  —[A, 03:20]
• On spiritual forgetfulness and suffering:
  "Souls have begun. They begin by forgetting themselves and just the narrow down things occupy them. And as they are expanded behind, they are not even aware."
  —[A, 03:30]
• On transcending pain:
  "In the long, long run, every soul will reach it and look back and wow."
  —[A, 09:45]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–01:40: Spirit, mind, and body analogy; the importance of self-awareness.
• 01:41–03:20: Discussion of the "expanded being" and the journey into physical existence.
• 03:21–06:55: The purpose behind life’s suffering; “Why not just remain as spirit?” debate.
• 06:56–10:10: Metaphors for understanding suffering (baby on mother’s lap, swimming analogy); suffering versus education.
• 10:11–End: The role of spirit's power in creating convincing illusions and the necessity of awakening to break the cycle.

Summary

This episode presents an engaging, reflective exploration of why knowing one's true nature as “spirit” is essential before attempting to help others. Through vivid analogies and a warm, philosophical tone, Derrick and his guest remind listeners that the source of anxiety, fear, and suffering is often a disconnection from the expanded self. By recognizing this “cosmic drama” for what it is, and by learning (rather than fleeing from) life’s challenges, listeners can cultivate the inner peace and confidence necessary to serve others authentically.

The central lesson: Before reaching out to support others, deepen your awareness of your own true self—a limitless, peaceful spirit purposefully engaged in the grand drama of life.