Segment: Your Spouse Determines How Far You'll Go as an Entrepreneur

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Konnected Minds Podcast with Derrick Abaitey

Episode Segment: “Your Spouse Determines How Far You'll Go as an Entrepreneur”
Date: July 7, 2026
Host: Derrick Abaitey

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Episode Overview

This episode zeroes in on the critical, often under-discussed role a spouse plays in the entrepreneurial journey and career advancement—particularly for women. Through a personal and lively conversation, Derrick Abaitey and his guest explore the realities of balancing career ambition with family life, the impact of spousal support, and the challenges posed by societal expectations, especially in patriarchal contexts. Listeners hear practical tips, cultural commentary, and reflections drawn from real-life experience—geared toward helping ambitious individuals harmonize their professional and personal lives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Difference Between Joy and Happiness

• [00:30–01:00]
  The interview begins with a distinction between joy and happiness. The guest explains that joy is enduring and rooted in the spirit, while happiness is fleeting and based on external circumstances.
  • Quote: “Joyful is your joyful forever... it’s a fruit to me, your spirit, Holy Spirit, they help you to be joyful.” — Interviewee [00:30]

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Work-Life “Integrated Balance”

• [01:00–03:43]
  The guest, a woman with over 24 years in her field, unpacks how she balances work and family:
  • Integration, not strict separation, is key—work and family are intertwined.
  • Delegation is crucial: Seek help for tasks you can outsource, but reserve quality time (which cannot be delegated) for family.
  • Seasons matter: Balance changes as children grow and life circumstances shift.
  • Avoid comparisons: Each family and life stage is unique.
  • Quote: “Quality time, you can't delegate it. So creating time... I have to put in my diary, spend time with the girls, spend time with my husband, do this, because if you don't do that, I wouldn't get it done.” — Interviewee [01:40]
  • Quote: “There are different stages of everybody’s life and you have to know what works for you... So it’s just to recognize each season of your life and see how you incorporate work, family into it.” — Interviewee [02:40]

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Societal Expectations and Gender Dynamics

• [03:43–07:12]
  Discussing the unique hurdles women face:
  • The guest highlights the ongoing effects of patriarchal norms in both society and the workplace.
  • Women bear the brunt of domestic and childcare responsibilities despite also pursuing careers.
  • Cultural assumptions about gender roles persist in schools, at home, and at work.
  • Quote: “A woman is the one that is going to do school runs... and she’s still working. Meanwhile, the man too is working. But the man will not do school runs. He will not say. He will just come and feel cool...” — Interviewee [04:07]
  • Quote: “It is tough for women because a woman sometimes is limited by society, is limited by what the society expects or what the man expects from the home.” — Interviewee [06:24]

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The Power of Spousal Choice and Support

• [03:53–07:12, 11:34–11:53]
  • The guest drives home that the man a woman marries can deeply affect her personal and professional trajectory.
  • Supportive partners who “carry the matter on” lift each other up and create a mutually beneficial dynamic.
  • Open, honest pre-marriage conversations help clarify roles and expectations.
  • Quote: “The man you marry determines a lot. It determines how far one can go in life as a woman.” — Interviewee [05:05]
  • Quote: “My husband has been supportive. Amazing, amazingly supportive. Helpful. Carries me on. His head carries the matter on...” — Interviewee [11:36]

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Closing Gender Gaps (Pay & Promotion)

• [07:13–08:16]
  • Discussion of wage gaps, promotion disparities, and the “man’s world” phenomenon.
  • Men are called to be actively supportive, advocating for equity both at home and in the workplace.
  • Quote: “A man cannot enter million and a woman in the same position is any 2 million. Why?... You say because women will go on maternity leave and she’s away for three months.” — Interviewee [07:53]

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Faith, Duty, and Cultural Narratives

• [08:16–11:27]
  • Faith and biblical references are debated regarding spousal roles and expectations.
  • Traditional interpretations of “help meet” are discussed and gently challenged as the guests nudge toward equitable understanding.
  • Quote: “Now, she’s a help mate to the man... Does that mean that the woman is now a slave?” — Interviewee [09:01]
  • Both agree that mutual support and self-awareness—regardless of gender—are critical to a thriving household and, by extension, a successful career.
  • Quote: “You can’t come back from work and your wife also comes back from work. And then you put your foot up and then your wife is the one cooking. Why?” — Interviewee [09:39]

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No “One Size Fits All” in Marriage

• [11:53–12:15]
  • Even when all questions are asked and due diligence done, there are no guarantees in marriage; circumstances can change unexpectedly.
  • Quote: “There’s no one size fits all in any home. You can ask all the right questions and you can still go south... not because of what you did or what the person did.” — Interviewee [11:56]

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• [05:05] “The man you marry determines a lot. It determines how far one can go in life as a woman.” — Interviewee
• [01:40] “Quality time, you can't delegate it.” — Interviewee
• [09:39] “You can't come back from work and your wife also comes back from work, and then you put your foot up and then your wife is the one cooking. Why?” — Interviewee
• [11:36] “My husband has been supportive. Amazing, amazingly supportive. Helpful. Carries me on. His head carries the matter on...” — Interviewee
• [11:56] “There’s no one size fits all in any home. You can ask all the right questions and you can still go south...” — Interviewee

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Notable Timestamps

• [00:30]: Joy vs. happiness
• [01:08]: How to achieve integrated work-life balance
• [03:43]: Challenges for women pursuing both family and career
• [05:05]: Why the choice of spouse profoundly matters
• [07:13]: Gender pay/promotion gap — call for male advocacy
• [09:01–10:09]: Biblical roles and mutual support in the home
• [11:34–11:53]: Testimony of spousal support
• [11:56]: The unpredictability of marriage even with the “right” questions

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Summary

This insightful conversation highlights that, for ambitious entrepreneurs—especially women—the support and attitudes of their spouse can have a profound impact on how far they go. The guest’s lived experience illustrates the importance of integration, clear communication, and mutual support within marriage. Societal structures and gender expectations continue to pose obstacles, but there is hope and progress in shifting roles, mutual advocacy, and honest communication about needs and duties. The episode encourages both men and women to reflect deeply on their values, have honest conversations, avoid assumptions, and support each other as equal partners, making room for ambition, balance, and real partnership.

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Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Interviewee]

It's not, it's not one thing that makes you joyful. So you can, you can get bad news today, but you're joyful, right? You can, Jonathan, you can, you can, you can, you can stumble on a bad, maybe a deal went wrong, you are joyful, but happiness is temporary. Happiness is, oh, I didn't go, oh, I'm no longer happy today. No, joyful is your joyful forever. And it's a, is a, is a fruit to me, your spirit, holy spirit. They help you to be joyful. So, yeah, so that's it.

[Interviewer]

With a woman that has such a busy schedule, you've been working on this for 24 plus years. How do you juggle work with family responsibilities?

[Interviewee]

Okay, that's a very good question. I think that what it is with family or with work or anything you do in life, you must always find a balance. And I call it work life, integrated balance. And why do I say that? You put your work in your life, your life in your work, your family, your work, your work. So everything is intertwined. So you can't say, oh, I'm doing this, I'm not going to take care of this. So it's important to find, for example, when it comes to family or things that have to do with your personal things, to find the help you need of things that you cannot delegate, the things that you can delegate, then find people to help you with it. Right, Right. So that's why you can also, if it's, if it's that, oh, you need to, of course, washing, cooking, taking care of the children, running errands, whatever you need to do, please, if you have money, send your money on me, send money on, on other hand, or what you can delegate, but quality time, you can't delegate it. So quality time with your family is important. So creating time, putting them, I have to die sometimes. I have to put in my diary, spend time with the girls, spend time with my husband, do this, because if you don't do that, I would, I would, I won't get it done. So, oh, spend time okay, we're gonna go for lunch today. Girls or each child, you know, just prioritizing them. My mother, prioritizing my mom, just taking care of my mom. So all those things, I've had to integrate it into my life, into my schedule. So if I have four days of this, one day is dedicated. Or if. Or every day. What if it's in the night or in the morning before you go out, you are doing something that just incorporates everything into your life. So when my children were younger, it was. And there are different stages of everybody's life and you have to know what works for you. So because a lot of people like to copy other people. When my children were younger, when they were in primary school, when they were in second nursery in kindergarten, what I did with them was it's very. When they became teenagers, it's very. Now they're becoming young adults. So it's just to recognize each season of your life life and see how you incorporate work, family into it. There are times that you may need to say, look, what work is gonna. I'm not gonna do this work because I want to spend time with my family, or, okay, I want to take this job, but I cannot do this because I need to do this. So it's just understanding what works for you, understanding your own values, understanding what you cannot compromise on at the early stage. And you must define what is important to you. And then with that, you can now, of course, incorporate everything in fbo.

[Interviewer]

Some women say that when they start chasing their dreams and mix that with children husband, you can slow them down. What's your view on that?

[Interviewee]

As women, we can be. We're very disadvantaged because the society is very. Patrick Patriarchal. It favors men more than women. And a lot of sometimes some men don't want to agree, but it's the truth. So a man automatically. A woman has a child, she goes. She has the maternity leave a few months. The man doesn't get any because he didn't have the child anyway. But maybe they do sometimes. But then the woman is not expect. Is now expected to do everything. The woman is the one that is going to do school runs. The woman is expected to take care of the home, right? The woman. And she's still working. She's working. She will take care of the home. She will do school runs. Should we do this? She'll do that. But she's. And she's still working. Meanwhile, the mantle is working. But the man will not do school runs. He will not say. He will just come and feel cool, but Guess what? Because people are getting more exposed and people are getting more support. Community wise, right? Emotionally, physically, career, whatever it is. Even the men are also saying that, look, they need to step up and support their wives or support the women. So today you do school run, tomorrow I'll do it. You know, that thing and. Or go and pick the girl. Have you not noticed that in school when anything happens, they call the mother, they will call the father, they'll call the mother. Your child has temperature. Why don't they call the dad? They call the woman because automatically they see the women as nurturers. And we are nurturers. We are natural nurturers. But guess what? It's important that you one marries, right? The man you marry determines a lot. It determines how far one can go in life as a woman. So marrying rights, getting the right support. And I always say to men that men must support women. Men must see women as what they bring to the table, is an addition. We are all. Sorry, not an addition. We are working as one unit. So if the woman rises, it's good for the man, and if the man is rising, it's good for the woman. So why do we look at this thing as if it is one side, it is two sides. So we must, the men must support women more, carry them more. So it is tough for women because a woman sometimes is limited by society, is limited by what the society expects or what the man expects from the home. So I always say to most women that look, understand what your. Your overall career goal is. Sometimes you may need to step back, maybe depending on the structure of your home, to say what? Okay, you know what? For the first two years of my life, I will use it to do this. After four years, I will do this. And don't use another woman's journey as your. Like your journey or another woman's home or another man's home like yours. You don't know what's going on in the house. So you have to. And that's why it's important that as a woman, you must have conversations way before you get married. When you are married, you know, it's not perfect for everybody. Well, you know, pushing it everyone. But guess what? That's communication, conversation, compromise, understanding. These are the things that make it work. But, and as, as a man, you must support a woman.

[Interviewer]

What does that mean?

[Interviewee]

It means that you must cut them some slack. You must ensure that a woman is competent, right? Give her the. The promoter based on competence, right? Do not say that. Because you, for example, in an organization, they'll say that. Oh, a woman. They don't promote women as. As much as men. Women are not paid as high. Use this now. Women don't get paid like men sports. Go and look at the sports world. Before they came to fight in tennis to come and collect the money the men were collecting more footballers in sports everywhere, corporate world everywhere, men are getting more paid more than women. That's why I said it is a. They'll say it's a man's world. So men should support women more to ensure that the gap is being closed. A man cannot enter million and a woman in the Same position is any 2 million. Why? What is. What is the reason? You say because women will go on maternity leave and she's away for three months.

[Narrator]

Hello.

[Interviewee]

But she catches up. But you still don't pay her more

[Interviewer]

like the man I think you were speaking about in the home. And then when you said that men should support women more. Yes, but when you have quoted several biblical quotes. The Bible does not talk about women being support rather than men supporting them more. I just.

[Interviewee]

It doesn't. What, what do you say?

[Interviewer]

Does the Bible not talk more about women being a support rather than men supporting women?

[Interviewee]

I'm trying to wonder why is that in the Bible?

[Interviewer]

It's not in the Bible.

[Narrator]

Where.

[Interviewee]

No, just tell me, tell me. Look, it's.

[Narrator]

It.

[Interviewee]

Tell me why is in the Bible. I say that men.

[Interviewer]

No, it's for me. My question is on the more. Right, so then that means one becomes more than the other. How about the woman?

[Interviewee]

The woman is a help mate.

[Interviewer]

So that's support.

[Interviewee]

Now she's a help mate to the man. A help meets a support can mean many things. She's a helpmate too. The man is already there. They said the woman is help me. She's coming to help the man. Abby in quotes, if you want to put it like that. She's coming to help the man. Does that mean that the woman is now a slave?

[Interviewer]

Nobody said that.

[Interviewee]

Thank you, Abby. Does that mean Answer now?

[Interviewer]

Oh, no. As I say, it's the whole thing about the more. Because if we are saying support as

[Interviewee]

a man you must ensure.

[Interviewer]

Yes.

[Interviewee]

That you are not selfish and that you are not. You are self aware.

[Interviewer]

Right.

[Interviewee]

Of your home. You can't come back from work and your wife also comes back from work. And then you put your foot up and then your wife is the one cooking. Why? And then you go upstairs and say you're tired. Did your wife go to work? Did she go to work too? Answer. No. Answer that question. Man can never answer that question. At least you can, even if you're not cooking, be with her in the kitchen. Okay? If you cannot cooking, be with her in the kitchen. Do you understand what I'm saying? That's the point I'm making the man.

[Interviewer]

We should all be in the kitchen

[Interviewee]

and cooking at the same time. Even me. When I remember growing up, my dad will go to come back from work. My mommy too will come back from. My mommy was working, but my mama go sit for kitchen. But my daddy will go upstairs, hey, you know, relaxing, get a drink, come and sit down, put his leg up. Watching TV while the woman is in the kitchen. Meanwhile, they both went to work. What is the support for each other? To be fair, this part, women is a debate that will not end.

[Interviewer]

But for me, I think duty is very important.

[Interviewee]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Interviewer]

A man has a duty and a woman has a duty.

[Interviewee]

What's the man's duty to provide for his home? Because the Bible says that if he doesn't provide for him, it's like an infidel.

[Interviewer]

There you go.

[Interviewee]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

So then I'll ask you what is the woman's duty?

[Interviewee]

To support. To help. The home. To help.

[Interviewer]

So if.

[Interviewee]

So if you go to Proverbs. In Proverbs, the Proverbs 31:Woman says that the woman in Proverbs she rises up in early to sort out her house. So she has servants.

[Interviewer]

So the man basically should make enough money to provide servants.

[Interviewee]

She was there. She, she would. They go market. The man sits at the gates. It means that the man is a noble man. Not be saying, you know, be noble man. Then you now expect that the woman. Good day. Anyway, sorry, like this part. This one is church. Let's not go to church. Let's, let's.

[Interviewer]

Let's stay here.

[Interviewee]

These nice worlds.

[Interviewer]

Well, I still have one thing. Because it's still part of the growth that you've had.

[Interviewee]

And the fact that my husband has been supportive. Amazing, amazingly supportive. Helpful. Carries me on. His head carries the matter on. In fact, people tell me outside about my work more than I hear about myself. Oh, my God, she's the best, my husband. So that's why I said it's important to have a support, a good support system. I support him. He supports.

[Interviewer]

So what questions did you ask before you said I do.

[Interviewee]

Hey, my brother.

[Interviewer]

Because you mentioned that women should ask

[Interviewee]

the questions when I say this. The truth is there's no one size fits all in any home. You can ask all the right questions and you can still go south not because of what you did or what the person did. Connected Minds Podcast

[Narrator]

when you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickranger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.