Segment:No One Got Me Here, Just Me and God- Turned Neglect Into Financial Success

Summary

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Konnected Minds Podcast Summary

Episode Segment: No One Got Me Here, Just Me and God – Turned Neglect Into Financial Success
Host: Derrick Abaitey
Date: March 5, 2026

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Overview:

This deeply personal episode explores the journey of Charity, a self-made individual who transformed childhood neglect, lack of emotional support, and early struggles into financial independence and personal pride. Derrick Abaitey, through probing and empathetic interviewing, uncovers how Charity’s pursuit of freedom and recognition stemmed from childhood experiences—and became the engine driving her business success and self-worth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Childhood Aspirations and Shifting Priorities

• Dreams of Journalism vs. Reality

  • Charity confides that her childhood dream was to be a journalist, but pragmatic conversations about money pushed her toward construction for higher earnings.
    • Quote:

      "I like money, so I was like, you know, let me put the journalism aside and go and do construction in university." (00:10, Charity)

• Motivation for Money: Freedom

  • The drive for wealth is less about luxury and more about autonomy—escaping restrictions imposed by parents, especially her mother.
    • Quote:

      "I like money... but it's freedom, but. I like freedom. Yeah. So...if you have money, you have a certain level of freedom." (00:41, Charity)

Family Dynamics & Early Neglect

• Restrictive Upbringing

  • Despite her parent's financial stability, Charity describes a strict household where access to money and emotional warmth was tightly controlled.
    • Reflects on relatives: Her parents provided for her even while under her aunt and uncle's roof, leaving her uncertain about their finances and disconnected emotionally.
    • Quote:

      "My mom is not going to let you have it easy. So we restricted when it comes to money." (01:06, Charity)

• Lack of Attention and Affection

  • Charity felt invisible to both her parents and the adults she lived with, fostering a powerful craving for independence and validation.

    • Quote:

      "Even so now I never had any attention from parents, from the people I stayed with, you know, so I, I, I used to crave for it so much and I was like, since they're not giving it to me... I want to be alone..." (02:58, Charity)

  • Lamenting the absence of affirmations, she never heard words like “I’m proud of you” or “you’re beautiful.”

    • Quote:

      "Never, never heard that. I've been through one more treatment to the other." (05:35, Charity)

Early Independence & Resilience

• Living Alone from Age 14

  • Charity recounts living on her own from junior high/high school onward, with minimal family contact or oversight, instilling both resilience and a lasting preference for solitude.
    • Quote:

      "From 14, I've lived alone...I never went back home. I went to my big sister...she was mostly not at home. So I had the freedom to be alone, do things on my own. But you know, I was level-headed not to misbehave." (02:06, Charity)

• Self-Work and Hustle

  • Her teenage years included laborious side jobs, from selling street food to carrying water in the bustling Kumasi market, reinforcing her desire to never return to hardship.
    • Quote:

      "I've sold gobbe. I've sold food by the roadside. I've carried water on my head...I've been through it and I know how it feels like. So I want to be somewhere that I don't have to remember those times again." (07:10, Charity)

Emotional Impact and Growth

• Drive Rooted in Neglect & Need for Validation

  • Derrick expertly links Charity’s relentless hustle to her emotional hunger for attention and acknowledgment.

    • Quote (Derrick):

      "Your desire to want attention has translated to you wanting to become financially successful." (03:57)

  • Charity acknowledges this, saying that the lack of being seen or heard inspired her to push for recognition in business and public speaking.

    • Quote:

      "I want to be seen, I want to be heard. This is the time I want to be seen. I want to be heard." (04:12, Charity)

• Barriers to Social Growth

  • The cost of past neglect: difficulty networking, a preference for solitude, and limiting herself to a tiny social circle.
    • Quote:

      "One of my biggest problems is networking. I'm always at home working. I'm not able to go out [and] network with people...So I always keep to myself and my two friends." (05:54, Charity)

Achievement & The New Family Dynamic

• Source of Pride

  • Despite immense hardship, she takes pride in her accomplishments and attributes her success to her own efforts and faith.
    • Quote:

      "No one got me here except me and God. So I'm very proud." (06:29, Charity)

• Recognition from Family

  • Ironically, newfound financial success has led to greater influence and consultation within her family, the very attention once withheld.
    • Quote:

      "No decision goes in the family without it passing through me. And sometimes I'm not interested, but, you know, I just have to put my one or two there." (08:31, Charity)

Reflections on Parenting

• Learning from the Past
  • Charity expresses her determination to parent differently—prioritizing emotional openness, encouragement, and friendship with her future children.
    • Quote:

      "I think I'll show my kids how to love themselves. I think I'll pour into my kids. Yeah, I'll pour into my kids. It's very important. And I'll make my kids my friend. Not for them to be afraid of me." (08:54, Charity)

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Reframing Adversity:

  "I've done so many things through pain to be neglected...and being able to push through because no one got me here except me and God." (06:27, Charity)

• Cycle of Neglect in Entrepreneurs (Derrick):

  "I've picked up several patterns...and there's always neglect, superiority, complex, wanting to be seen. Feeling like they have a voice." (08:05, Derrick)

• The Irony of Respect Through Wealth:

  "Money has become like the ultimate through which people tend to respect people in societies." (08:10, Derrick)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:10–00:41 – Aspirations, money, and freedom
• 01:04–02:06 – Strict upbringing & yearning for independence
• 02:50–03:57 – Emotional neglect & drive for validation
• 04:12–05:35 – Teaching, business motivation, and lack of affirmation
• 05:52–06:17 – Struggles with networking and social growth
• 06:27–07:35 – Pride in resilience and journey from hardship
• 08:05–08:24 – Wealth as societal validation and family recognition
• 08:54–End – Reflections on future parenting

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Takeaway:

This episode offers a raw and authentic look at how early pain, absence of support, and persistent neglect can be harnessed as powerful motivators for success. Charity’s candid testimony is a blueprint for transforming adversity into fuel for ambition, spotlighting the need for self-love, faith, and a new way forward—especially in how we nurture the next generation.

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Transcript

[A]

I've always wanted to be a journalist. That is what I wanted to do. Not now, but when I was growing up.

[B]

Swap seats and then you interview.

[A]

I wanted to be a journalist. And then, you know, I think somewhere in shs, before going to university, I had a conversation from. We're having a conversation about, you know, we going to invest, what you're going to do and all that. And one girl said, the uncle is into construction and he makes a lot of money and I like money. So I was like, you know, let me put the journalism aside and go and do construction in university.

[B]

So there's an aspect of me that keeps thinking that you have wanted money for a very long time.

[A]

I want money. I. I don't. I mean, I like money, but. But it's freedom, but.

[B]

Right, okay.

[A]

I like freedom. Yeah. So. And I think if you have money, you have a certain level of freedom. So. Yeah, I've. I've loved money for a long time.

[B]

So I will take again. To the family you grew up in, were you restricted in any way?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

When it comes. My parents were doing well, but we didn't have it like, you know, easy. My mom is not going to let you have it easy. So we restricted when it comes to money.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She wouldn't let you have it your way. Okay. Yeah. So because of that, I've wanted money to make my own money so that I can, you know, enjoy it.

[B]

But how about the auntie and uncle you grew up with? Were they. How would. What was. Their, their views on money?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, okay, they were okay, but you know, my parents were doing better and we were living. We're living okay. My parents are still taking care of me. They were not the ones taking care of me. So money was coming to them so that they take care of me. That is how my mom and my dad did it. So I'm trying, but I'm not really sure of their monetary and financial situation because I was very young.

[B]

I'm trying to figure out what aspect of your life made you start thinking of freedom.

[A]

Would you want me to put that here? Because, I mean, I never had it easy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I never had it easy. I grew up with different people. I got different type of treatment from other people, you know, more treating and, you know, all those stuff. So even though it made me tough, it made me wanted like freedom so much because I was tired of being with people, so. Right. I think from 14, I've lived alone from 14 years. Wow. Yes. From 14 years. I. I think SHS. I went to the SHS. And I never went back home. I never went back home. I went to my big sister, the one I'm after. I went to stay with her and she was mostly not at home. So I had the freedom to be alone, do things on my own. But you know, I was level headed not to misbehave that I think that's also so I've always wanted to have my freedom. Okay.

[B]

Right. I think I'm figuring something out. So, Charity, did you feel like you didn't have freedom, the attention you needed?

[A]

I never had it. Even so now I never had any attention from parents, from the people I stayed with, you know, so I, I, I used to crave for it so much and I was like, since they're not giving it to me, I mean, I don't want even, I want to be alone because I'm not getting anything from you guys. I want to be alone. So I wasn't, they didn't pay attention to me that much. So they don't even know me much. That's why, you know, before we started this, I told you my mom was against me coming to Accra and I was like, is because she doesn't know me well, but if she knew me, she knew I wouldn't engage in some of the things she thought I would engage myself in when I get to Accra here. You know, Accra has that perception that once you come here, see that you are doing men, prostitution, you know, all that. And she was thinking that, but I felt like she didn't know me well, so that's why she was thinking that way.

[B]

I think I forget something else. I've spoken to enough business people to know that there's always a drive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Inside. And I think I worked it out. But watch this.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Your desire to want attention has translated to you wanting to become financially successful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that, is that so that people can now pay attention to your, your needs and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. I think a little bit of attention seeking has helped here because it made me push myself more. I want to be seen, I want to be heard. This is the time I want to be seen. I want to be heard. So I like speaking to people, I like teaching. I like, you know, setting the camera and, you know, talking about stuff. So when I found out I can do this business, I was like, I've learned it honestly. People don't even have what is in my head I want to point out to people. So it was, I mean, yeah, that's how it all started. Because I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be heard. And my God's grace.

[B]

Did anybody sit you down to listen to your problems when you were a child?

[A]

Never.

[B]

I'm sorry, but this is turning into a therapy.

[A]

I never. And I wish someone did, honestly, I wish someone did, but never. No one listened. I mean, I didn't even have anyone to go to because my mom was so some a very hard person to deal with. We were so scared of her. My dad was very soft and you know that my mom was so scared of her. So if you have a problem, you keep it to yourself. And I didn't grow up with my siblings, so I didn't know who to talk to. So I would rather hold it inside of me and not talk to anyone.

[B]

You know, as a young girl growing up, anybody you know, any of your parents tell you they are proud of you, you know, you're beautiful. Those words.

[A]

Never, never heard that. I've been through one more treatment to the other. So I said I wanted my freedom. I don't want to stay with anyone again. I'm okay being alone, so. And I've been alone since then. You know, it has its bad side, but the good side is also.

[B]

What is the bad side?

[A]

I think it makes you want to keep to yourself. One of my biggest problems is networking. I'm always at home working. I'm not able to go out network with people, you know, but sometimes I feel like I want to do that. I want to get to know people. I want people to get to know me. But I'm like, I don't want people in my business. So I always keep to myself and my two friends.

[B]

Yeah, you not staying with your parents, people you know, more. Treating you not feeling hurt has created the human being we are seeing today.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

Are you proud of what you've achieved?

[A]

I am so proud. I never thought I would get here because, you know, I've done so many things through pain to be neglected and, you know, all that and being able to push through because no one got me here except me and God. So I'm very proud. I'm able to get to this point anytime I'm, you know, spending and overspending. My. My friends would be like, live there. She has been through a lot. So, you know, I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I'm here because it's been a tough journey. I started working very early in life. I've sold gobbe. I've sold food by the roadside. I've carried water on my Head, you know, from 8 Accra. No, Kumasi. From 18. Is it market? I've forgotten the name, but they call it 18 something. From there, I'll carry water on my head straight to race calls back and forth. I've been through it. I've been through it and I know how it feels like. So I want to be somewhere that I don't have to remember those times again. Yeah.

[B]

If you're still. Still here with me, I'd like to know in the comments if you're enjoying this conversation. We are supposed to be talking about money, but I'm trying to figure out the path that has created the charity I'm looking at. The path is important and I think not just. Not just this story, but I've picked up several patterns, even with me, myself and several other business people I've interviewed. And there's always neglect, superiority, complex, wanting to be seen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Feeling like they have a voice.

[A]

Yes. You know, all right.

[B]

Some people have come from families where their opinion did not matter, so they have seen that as a way of, nah, I need to really work hard to make money because money has become like the ultimate through which people tend to respect people in societies.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So they go and get the money and now families will be calling them. What do you think about this? Has this happened to you?

[A]

Yes. I mean, before we started, I told you right now, when they need. Not like they need, but right now, when they want to make a decision, they call me. It wasn't like that at first, you know, but now no decision goes in the family without it passing through me. And sometimes I'm not interested, but, you know, I just have to put my one or two there.

[B]

Charity, if you become a parent, what would you do differently?

[A]

I think I'll show my kids how to love themselves. I think I'll pour into my kids. Yeah, I'll pour into my kids. It's very important. And I'll make my kids my friend. Not for them to be afraid of me. I don't want my kids because we were so much afraid of my mom. I think it's just now that we are not so scared. But at first, you can't go to her for anything. You can't tell her anything. My dad, you can, but, you know, because of my mom's side, you're unable to go to my dad and. But my dad is very calm. Connected Minds podcast.