Are you Toxic or Just Insecure? 👀

Summary

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LA PLÁTICA – “Are You Toxic or Just Insecure? 👀”

Hosts: Sebastian Robles & Josh Leyva
Guest Contributors: Jessica, Sal
Date: February 23, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and unfiltered “plática,” Sebas and Josh dive deep into the fine line between toxic behaviors and insecurities—both in themselves and in internet culture at large. Using real-life examples from their own content creator journeys, they get candid about growing beyond machismo, handling negative comments online, and evolving emotionally as men. Alongside Jessica and Sal, the group dissects classic "toxic" scenarios in modern relationships, aiming to separate insecurity from actual toxicity. The result is a refreshingly honest conversation that mixes laughs, genuine self-reflection, and practical advice for a more confident, compassionate way of living and relating.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Handling Online Criticism & The “Zesty” Comment

[03:38–15:53]

• Sebastian recounts posting a lighthearted, “Get Ready With Me” dancing video, which quickly attracted supportive feedback but also comments questioning his masculinity and sexuality (“zesty,” “just say you’re gay already”).
• Sebastian: “When people call me gay, zesty, bisexual, I lowkey take that as a compliment. If you think I look feminine, you think I look beautiful. And as a man…you can do it all. I feel like I can do it all.” [16:35]
• Both hosts reflect on how online hate often reveals more about the commenter than the target. For Sebastian, growing up with a transgender sister and embracing difference has steeled him against homophobic/machista comments.
• Josh: “A lot of toxicity comes from insecurity. That’s the button right there.” [35:25]
• On negativity: “If it really bothers you that much, you know what? Keep fucking scrolling. Who gives a fucking shit?” – Josh, [19:52]

2. Representation, Self-Image, & Inspiring Others

[05:29–10:07; 26:12–28:12]

• The hosts emphasize the importance of authenticity in social media, resisting the pressure to only show hyper-masculine, “acceptable” expressions.
• Sebastian shares a story about inspiring a young fan and the fulfillment in being a positive example, especially for Latino boys growing up with few emotionally open male role models.
• They encourage listeners (and each other) to “shine their light,” even if some view honest self-expression as “cringe” at first.
• Sebastian: “It’s cringe until it’s not…when people see the gains, or your health is on the rise, it’s super motivating. It changes the people around you. I promise you, it does.” [28:12]

3. Growth from Toxic Traits & Machismo

[32:11–35:13]

• Jessica prompts: Have you ever outgrown toxic traits from your 20s?
• Josh opens up about being less mature and not “the best version” of himself in earlier relationships, stressing the value of self-reflection and learning from one’s mistakes.
• Sebastian, who’s been with his wife since his early 20s, admits early complacency—a lack of thoughtfulness—not exactly toxic, but a flaw that could become one if unaddressed.
• Both agree “toxic” is a strong word—most people act out of insecurity or unhealed wounds (“projecting”).

4. Signs and Origins of Toxicity

[35:14–41:11]

• Many “toxic” behaviors are rooted in insecurity and projecting, e.g., jealousy over casual interactions, ridiculous “rules” in relationships.
• Sebastian: “Previous relationships can make you think your next one will be the same. But you have to walk in with a blank canvas.” [35:41]
• Josh: “If you’re willing to learn and take criticism, you can change.” [36:02]
• The importance of taking individual accountability, but also recognizing how upbringing and trauma influence behavior.

5. Rapid-Fire: Is It Toxic If…?

(Jessica’s Scenarios & Group Debates)

A. Following Your Ex on Instagram

[42:18–46:30]

• Consensus: It’s generally not respectful if you’re in a new relationship. Some nuance for co-parenting or friendly exes, but mostly—just unfollow for everyone’s peace.
• Sal: “I didn’t want to see people I used to hook up with—it felt disrespectful to my girl. Also, their posts were…a little more seductive.” [43:26]

B. Looking Through Your Partner’s Phone

[46:51–49:29]

• Sebastian: “A phone is your own private pal…if you’re dating, you shouldn’t be looking.”
• Josh highlights the nuance: Sometimes snooping confirms a justified suspicion, but if it’s chronic, it signals insecurity and erodes trust.

C. Asking to Share Locations

[49:59–54:39]

• General view: With intention—safety, reliability; not surveillance. Becomes more appropriate as the relationship gets serious or official. Don’t rush it.
• Sebas: “When you’re really locked in—officially—that’s when it makes sense.”

D. Arguing in Public

[54:44–57:20]

• Unanimous: It’s both toxic and disrespectful. Handle disagreements in private; public arguments often signal deeper issues or lack of impulse control.
• Josh: “You need to be able to have self-control…put a pin in it for another moment.”

E. Talking to Multiple People When Dating

[57:21–60:58]

• Hosts: It’s fine if it’s not defined/official; honesty is key. If asked, own up to it—authenticity is “hot,” sneakiness is not.
• Sebastian: “Always be honest in the very beginning. It’ll help you so much down the line, and you’ll always be your genuine self.” [61:03]
• Josh: “Honesty is hot.” [60:33]

F. Ending Things via Text

[62:01–64:40]

• Context matters: OK for early dating, not for serious/long-term relationships. If you’ve shared significant time and memories—call or meet.
• Jessica: “If you’ve invested years…a text would be like, what?”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sebastian on Toxicity vs. Insecurity:
  “A lot of ‘toxic’ comes from insecurity. That’s the button right there.” [35:25]

• Sebastian on Online Hate:
  “I grew up with a gay brother who turned transgender later—so, my transgender sister now. So, bro, I’m about that life… It doesn’t upset me when people say things like that… If you think I look feminine, you think I look beautiful.” [15:29; 16:49]

• Josh on Self-Work:
  “You might not know your toxic traits, but being in a relationship exposes that. With the right partner, you can grow from that. You gotta check yourself: that’s where humility and maturity come in.” [36:10]

• Sebastian on Growth:
  “When you’re in your 30s, you’re so confident in yourself…comments don’t phase you, not even one.” [23:08]

• Jessica on Accountability:
  “Intention vs. impact—you might not know you’re doing it, but that doesn’t mean the other person isn’t feeling it.” [38:10]

• Sal’s Golden Rule:
  “Would I want my girl to follow her ex? No…If I feel weird when I flip it, then I just don’t do it.” [46:23]

• On Consistency & Inspiration:
  “It feels good…knowing we film so much and do this every week. Consistency is the thing. We’re a testament to that.” – Josh [67:21]

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Takeaways & Closing Thoughts

• Toxicity and insecurity are often confused; recognizing the difference helps drive personal growth.
• Self-awareness, humility, and honesty—not perfection—are key to healthy relationships and self-expression.
• Online criticism reflects more about the critic than the creator. Take the support, ignore the hate.
• It’s always “cringe until it’s not”—true for content, self-improvement, or stepping outside cultural boxes.
• Don’t let fear of negativity dim your light; your authenticity is someone else’s inspiration.

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TIMESTAMPS FOR MAJOR SEGMENTS

• Get Ready With Me / Zesty Comment/Online Hate: [03:38–16:49]
• Body Image, Motivation, and Inspiring Fans: [05:29–10:07]
• What is Toxic? Handling Criticism, Machismo, and Growth: [32:11–41:11]
• Toxic Scenarios Rapid-Fire (Exes, Phones, Locations): [42:18–54:39]
• Relationship Arguments and Honesty in Dating: [54:44–64:40]
• Podcasting, Consistency, and Audience: [66:56–70:22]

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La Plática masterfully blends vulnerable storytelling with comedic, culturally sharp banter, offering a thoughtful exploration of how to be less toxic, more secure, and ultimately—more yourself, both online and off.

Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Sebastian]

So I did a get ready with me, but before I edited the get ready with me and I was just like moving around, I was just like kind of dancing, like feeling the outfit that I was doing a video of me being happy, genuinely happy. And yeah, people were calling me zesty. They're saying that I'm very feminine. They said that? Just say you're gay already. They would say I'm either gay or bisexual. When people call me gay. Zesty, Bisexual. I low key take that as a compliment. Because if you think that I look feminine, you think that I look beautiful. And as a man, either you look manly or you look manly and beautiful or you can do it all. I feel like I can do it

[Josh]

all if it really bothers you that much. You know what? Keep fucking scrolling. Who gives a fucking shit?

[Jessica]

Is there anything like a toxic trait that you guys had in your early 20s that you maybe outgrew or you at some point realized, like, whoa.

[Josh]

Damn, Jess.

[Sebastian]

All right. In my early 20s.

[Josh]

Damn.

[Sebastian]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I sang it the other day and I'll sing it again. This spot, this video sponsored by se, the number one rated ticketing app on the App Store.

[Josh]

Wouldn't have it any other way.

[Sebastian]

Way. Green dot means good when you go on the website or the app Store. No, the app stow the app Store.

[Josh]

Do you say store? What do you say if you don't.

[Sebastian]

If you. If they don't have SE downloaded right now?

[Josh]

I really don't. Do you say store? Do you say stow?

[Sebastian]

Stow.

[Josh]

Okay, go ahead.

[Sebastian]

Why would I say store?

[Josh]

You just look like a store guy.

[Sebastian]

Anyways, guys, download SE the number one rated ticketing app on the App Store.

[Josh]

That's right, guys. World cup is here. It's time to go to the World cup represent for your country show out. Of course SeatGeek has you covered, but the tickets, it could be pricey, which is why we're here to hook you up. Use the code for 10 off your ticketed purchase on SeatGeek.

[Sebastian]

United States, the World Cup. And it's not Coming back for a long time. It's one in a lifetime experience.

[Josh]

That's right.

[Sebastian]

You have to go at least once.

[Josh]

Check on SeatGeek. See if you have a team playing around your city. And use the cola block 10. Get yourself hooked up yourself.

[Sebastian]

Right?

[Josh]

Think about us. Send us pics. Tag us. We love you guys. Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Together. We are America. See you guys in 12.4seconds. I'm gonna use it.

[Jessica]

Let me be honest.

[Sebastian]

Every guest is a privilege.

[Josh]

Do we want to go there?

[Sebastian]

Get jolly? Cause I'm on a podcast with Josh Labor. Yeah, you have too.

[Josh]

Ladies and gentlemen, let me just it.

[Jessica]

This is Laa. 235. Are you toxic?

[Josh]

What? 235. Are you toxic?

[Sebastian]

235 in the books. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to La Platica. Did I just say La Platica?

[Josh]

You did, man.

[Sebastian]

Welcome to La Platica. Notifications on subscribe to the channel and big, big ups to our homies over at Se Geek. Number one on the App Store. This is La Platika and we're actually filming on a Monday today. Yeah. So happy Monday to everybody. We see you working out at the gym. We do.

[Josh]

We do. You getting after it on the StairMaster. What's up with it?

[Sebastian]

We see you. We see you watching us on your drive to work.

[Josh]

Hey, two hands on the wheel now. Ten and two.

[Sebastian]

Sweetheart, it's probably. It's probably 9:00pm right now. You're in bed right now with the phone in front of your face, watching us on YouTube. Let's get it going, man.

[Josh]

Bro. Before we start this episode, which I'm very excited to film today, I think we have a very exciting episode that is in the works. That's we're cooking.

[Sebastian]

Don't we always?

[Josh]

Don't we always? But I really have to commend you because you look really good, bro. Like, you look good. I walked in and I was like, wow. Like, you stopped me in my tracks. And I was like, dude, you look great. I appreciate that. And I know it's not. And I'm not. I don't mean in a place of like, just like, vanity. Like, you've been taking care of yourself like that. Like, you've been really looking out for your health, your mental health, everything. I feel like you've been so locked in. You've been in this space, and today I walked in and I got smacked with it. That smacked with your aura.

[Sebastian]

It's aura, huh? Okay. So many times have I told you my aura is crazy.

[Josh]

Don't don't hit me with that. You say, thank you, Josh.

[Sebastian]

Thank you, Josh. I appreciate that. And I really have, I've been trying really hard. You know, that was one of my, man, that was my, like, low key New Year's Eve just for myself, kind of, like, resolutions that I'm not really telling anybody. I'm trying to, like, make myself a sharp blade, bro.

[Josh]

And you know how I know you're feeling yourself? Because that beard is very low. And you normally, you normally have that beer going. You're like, no, Y' all gonna see this job.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. You're gonna see the jaw.

[Josh]

This gonna cut you through the screen.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. I've lost, honestly, a significant amount of weight, and I like to just say that. Just been eating insanely clean. I have been working out like crazy. And yeah, I just been, like, motivating myself, you know, I just feel like I'm gonna be 36 years old this, this, this year, and I just, I just want to be the. In the best shape possible, you know? And I feel like when I'm like this, I can, people around me can be motivated by me as well.

[Josh]

That's what it is, man.

[Sebastian]

And I think that's a beautiful thing to do.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. But I appreciate it. And you also look very, very nice.

[Josh]

Thank you, bro. I've been, I've been at it as well.

[Sebastian]

Obviously, you say that as in like a show type of compliment, but we talk to each other every day. Yeah. And we're doing this together as well. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I definitely feel a lot more chiseled.

[Josh]

And I think I've noticed that you've been more, like, proactive in, like, your content.

[Sebastian]

Like. Yeah.

[Josh]

Posting a lot more.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I, I just feel like, why not? Like, I feel like so many people, like, kind of expect more of me, you know what I mean? I just, I came to a realization that it's like, I just do this, you know, when I don't really post as much. Yeah. And it's just like, who else am I? You know what I mean? Like, yes, I give you a lot here when we sit down and we speak and, you know, it's, it's honestly a lot, to be honest. I, I, I'm sure people understand who we are, and even Jess and Saul, you know what I mean? They understand who we are, but what else is there? You know what I mean? So it's like, for me, I just, I just want to create content, you know what I mean? Like, just, I have a platform. I feel like sometimes I don't take advantage of maybe Instagram, and I just really take advantage of here, which has worked. Yeah. But it's like, let's just take advantage of Instagram, you know, and just, like, do whatever I'm good at doing. I also got, like, really comfortable in the past couple years, and I'm just, like, really happy completing this. Yeah. Because I'm like, naturally a web one. Yeah. So I'm an organic web one. That's what I am. But no, now I just want to be like. I just want to, you know, I pasture is.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sebastian]

I just want to create content, you know, I feel like I have a little spark to me right now.

[Josh]

That's good.

[Sebastian]

And I'm getting. Sorry to interrupt. I'm getting like a second wind, second win, like some motion in my life. You know what I mean? So it's. It's cool.

[Josh]

You got motion, twin. You got motion. Yeah. I was gonna say just to add to you. I didn't.

[Sebastian]

You.

[Josh]

We. I think that's good. Everything you were saying.

[Sebastian]

So camera four, he's been waiting to crack that open.

[Josh]

Camera four,

[Sebastian]

he's waiting for the perfect moment.

[Josh]

Oh, bro, you're really good at creating content as well. Like, I don't think a lot of people realize that you do everything right. Like, you know how to shoot a camera, you understand lighting, you understand editing, you understand a script, how to put a video together. And I just think it's really cool. I think I'm also. I've been really fascinated by your videos because, like, I love content creating and it kind of. It's been inspiring me. I'm like, man, you make some content. But I love, like, the start to end of content. And I know you appreciate it as well, right? Like, yeah. From coming up with a video, to editing, to seeing it come to life, to, like, putting it out there, seeing the comments and stuff. But sometimes the comments aren't always great. You put your heart on the line out there.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

People come at you.

[Sebastian]

People do come.

[Josh]

Have you ever experienced that, Sebastian? Have you experienced that? Yeah, in this day and age?

[Sebastian]

Yeah, all the time. I. The other day I got called Zesty. I had an urban dictionary.

[Josh]

Yeah. You're like, yeah, you did it like this. You like Zesty. Yeah.

[Sebastian]

No, you're right. And that's something that I realized. I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot about this part. You know what I mean? Because I don't post. I do post a lot, but right now I'm really trying to make it a thing to, like, post, like, once or twice a day. Or, like, let's just say seven days. If I can post five times out of the seven days, I'm happy. Right.

[Josh]

That's sick. And you're not, like, it's not crazy videos, right? It might just be something you turn on the camera.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. It doesn't have to be crazy. It doesn't have to be like. And that's the thing. Like, I feel like before, I would wait for moments that I'm, like, making a sick movie.

[Josh]

You know what I mean?

[Sebastian]

Like, that cycling video I did, like, the other, like, six months ago with. With Salud. You know what I mean? Yeah. I want to do like, that all the time, but I come to a conclusion. I'm like, people care, but not like that, you know? I mean, yeah, the other day I use, like, I did a skincare video on, like, doing this. Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

With a super goop.

[Sebastian]

With the super goop. And I love that product and, like, sharing that, and it got views and. And people are like, oh, I either love Supergoop or thanks for putting me on. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Josh]

You know what's so crazy, as I'm so tainted with, like, creators doing, like, brand deals that, like, I thought it was a brand deal. And then I was like, oh, wait, this is just Sebast, like, telling people about a product he really loves. And it was really refreshing to, like, just hear a creator, like, be like, yo, this is. I'm not my sponsor. I just think this product is really good.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. And, you know, like, honestly, like, 90, 99% of all my comments that I get from any video, it's always so much positive feedback. Like, the other day, some, like, young lady was like, sebastian. What? This is crazy. Like, you're posting so much more. You're giving us so much content. I just want, you know, I have, like, three young boys. And they've been watching you since, like, Covid, when you and Karen used to do, like, all these videos. And every time they hear your voice, like, they're so intrigued by you. And, like, thank you so much for creating more videos because, like, these kids, I want to say they're kids, but maybe they're, like, young teenagers. They're inspired to be like you. They love you. And I'm like, oh, that's cool. You know what I mean? And, like, I'm not, like, giving myself, like, too many, like, like, too much grace or, like, I. But I am giving myself flowers. But, like, a lot of people do get inspired by me. And it's like, when I don't do anything. It's like just a waste of my own life. You know what I mean? I should, you know, try to do something. You know, there are people that might struggle with, like, what to use, you know, things that. That are needed or, like, fashion advice or, you know, like, just simple. I just posted a video on, like, music.

[Josh]

Yeah. I loved it. The. What's a bomb? Something you used to do. I. I want to go. I want to dive into the video that you got called Zesty. And I. And I, before. Before we get into it. Yeah. I want to say. I want to preface this, that you are. What is it called? A hetero male. Right. Is that correct?

[Sebastian]

What does that even mean?

[Josh]

Some of us, hetero.

[Sebastian]

What does that mean?

[Josh]

These are straight.

[Sebastian]

Yes, sir.

[Josh]

You straight, right?

[Sebastian]

Of course, bro. Like a fucking arrow.

[Josh]

Yeah. But you. You really are the type to, like, dare I say, like, take chances. Fashion. And your appearance in. And the way you move, the way

[Sebastian]

I joke, the way I joke.

[Josh]

Joke.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Even the joke. We have this joke about, like, you always try to kiss me.

[Sebastian]

Right.

[Josh]

You've done it on the podcast, you've done it on the live shows. You're very. Just comfortable in your own skin and unlucky.

[Sebastian]

And unlucky because I haven't kissed you yet.

[Josh]

That was good. Yeah, that was good. So I. I think that what.

[Sebastian]

What I am is I'm comfortable and I'm confident.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

In my own skin.

[Josh]

Yeah. And I think that a lot of people don't step out of their comfort zone. You know, I'll be honest, even myself, like, I sometimes, I second guess. I like what, you know, how I dress or how my hair looks. But you, like, you take chances. And I think that's why when you take those chances, you are able to see the other side of it where you get to discover yourself in a different way. You inspire people in a different light. You also get those compliments where people are like, bro, you're like a smeg. You're so different. Right. Like, you stand out, but because you take chances. But when taking chances, there's. There's a other side of it where people are going to criticize, Right. And they're going to. They're going to come at you and they're going to judge you and you're going to get some comments of calling you zesty or, you know, straight up, like, you're gay.

[Sebastian]

Right.

[Josh]

They're judging you on your sexuality.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Even though you're in a fully married situation, you've. You've Only, Yeah.

[Sebastian]

It doesn't matter.

[Josh]

You're straight. You're a straight male, and that's what it is.

[Sebastian]

Right.

[Josh]

But people want to put you down by calling you gay. That's what they're doing. Right. They're trying to hurt your feelings. They're trying to hurt you to a degree.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Is that fair to say?

[Sebastian]

Yeah. Yeah, that's fair to say. I feel like I'm on a talk show right now. And I love how this. This. This whole podcast is going to be about me and how when we post it, all the comments I'm going read. You know what I mean? So. No, it doesn't.

[Josh]

It.

[Sebastian]

Okay, so it. None of it upsets me.

[Josh]

Okay, first of all, just to give people context, because I'm a context guy. Okay. And I want to take a picture.

[Sebastian]

I posted a video.

[Josh]

Can you post a video? Can you pull up the video? Jess?

[Sebastian]

It's not that one.

[Josh]

It's.

[Sebastian]

It's.

[Josh]

It's the one he's dancing.

[Sebastian]

It's the one where I look like a supermodel.

[Josh]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so explain this video. Explain. Give me context for the people who are just listening. So drive to work right now.

[Sebastian]

So I did a Get ready with me, but before I edited the get ready with me to go to Willy Chavaria. Before I did that. Well, after I did that, I. I put the phone in the. In my front door, and I was just, like, moving around. I was just, like, kind of dancing, like, feeling the outfit that I was doing. I love the way I look right now with the slick back hair, and I was just feeling myself. And I was. I'm gonna do a video and just a video of me being happy, genuinely happy. And, bro, like, 90% of the comments were good. But there's people. And I believe I. I start to get these kind of people when I hit a certain algorithm because the video did fairly well. And yeah, people were calling me zesty. They're saying that I'm. I'm very feminine. They said that. Just say you're gay already. They would say I'm either gay or bisexual, and not. None of it.

[Josh]

Damn. Jesse, she, like, zoomed in on a comment and she was, like, highlighting it.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. No, no. And, like. And, like, so, like, a bunch of comments like that, right? I mean, there's a bunch of comments like that, but, like, I don't. If 100% of the comments were like that, they're like, damn, what did I do?

[Josh]

So that's Right, right, right.

[Sebastian]

But if it's only, like, 1%. Which is like, maybe 10 comments out of, like, you know how. 100.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

You know, I'm not tripping.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

And honestly, I don't trip, bro. Like, I've. I've. I've dealt with this since middle school, high school. I've always had a certain fashion that was different than. Than the other guys, and I never worried about it. I grew up with a gay brother who turned transgender later. So my transgender sister now. So, bro, I'm a. I'm about that life. I'm with the shits. It doesn't upset me when. When people say things like that. What Kind of ticks me off. And I don't like when people say that is because they say that to make me feel a certain way. Correct.

[Josh]

They're trying to put you down.

[Sebastian]

They're trying to put me down. But why would. Why would I feel down for being gay?

[Josh]

Right. If you were.

[Sebastian]

If I was what? Being straight doesn't put me higher or lower than being gay.

[Josh]

Come on, my boy.

[Sebastian]

Being gay, being bisexual, being transgender is equal to every other person.

[Josh]

Human.

[Sebastian]

Person. Human. So why would that. Even if I was gay, why would that bring me down?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

As a straight. What did you call me? Heterosexual.

[Josh]

Yeah, pretty sure I did.

[Sebastian]

As a heterosexual. Heterosexual, sexual man.

[Josh]

Did you graduate high school?

[Sebastian]

Barely. You know, as a straight man, I lost my train of thought. As a straight man, I. I don't mind those comments. Yeah. But that's kind of like what I don't like when people are trying to do, because it's like, are you trying to put me down? Because I'm not. No. What I was going to say is, as a straight man, bro, I've said this before on podcast episodes before when people call me gay, zesty, bisexual. I. Lowkey. Take that as a compliment because if you think that I look feminine, you think that I look beautiful. And as a man, either you look manly or you look manly and beautiful, or you can do it all. I feel like I can do it all. I can be manly. Manly. I am manly. Manly. I'm. You should see all the hair on my ass if you don't believe me.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

But I take it as a compliment. Shout out to all my gay people. My. My lesbians, my. My lesbians, my transgenders, everything. Shout out to all y'. All. But the thing that does take me out, get. Gets me a little annoyed, is that they think that that's something below being that's gonna hurt you and that. That'll hurt me. Yeah. Like. And that's really.

[Josh]

That's that's machismo culture. That's blue pill culture. That's. That's just what that is.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

It's a specific group of people who feel that they need to degrade other men and. And, like, almost tell them, like, bro, if you're not being manly, if you're not acting moving a certain way, you are below.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. And then I think about, like, damn, I wonder why. Like, I don't really. To be honest, I don't care. But I do wonder sometimes. Damn, I wonder why these people, like, comment this. They must never have been raised the way we were. Maybe. Maybe they were never around this kind of stuff. I wonder if they live, like, in middle America where there's no Sebastians, where there's no gay people, or as much, you know. And you know what's sad? There is gay people, and they're so scared to come out because they live in that situation, in that environment.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

But, no, I. It doesn't piss me off. I take all of that as a compliment. And the only thing that just kind of like, frustrates me, it's like, especially because I have a transgender sister and many gay friends, many bisexual friends who I act gay with, not sexually, but you know what I mean? Like, I shoot the shit with them in a funny way, in a loving. It's all love. And. And I love my. My. My gay friends. I love my transgender friends, everybody. But it just. Yeah, it just. It's super icky when people, like, make it seem like, oh, I'm gonna tell you this, or bring you down. It doesn't. And it should never bring anybody down. Gay people, lesbians, we're all equal.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Straight, everybody, it's all one. It's. It's all one size.

[Josh]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Sebastian]

No, but. Yeah, it's just funny. But, yeah. And by the way, I didn't walk into the podcast and I said, hey, we should talk about this.

[Josh]

No, it wasn't like that.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Brought up the video. I don't know how we fell into it. I actually asked him to save it for the podcast because I think this is very interesting, and I think you're. You are an amazing person to talk about it, not only because, like, you're comfortable in your skin, but, like, the people that you have in your life. You know what I mean? Like, with your. Your sister and all that. Like, you have such a different insight and perspective that I think it's. It's cool to hear that from somebody like you who.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Who is like. And I've said Hetero.

[Sebastian]

And, and I've said it, and I've said it before. Not offending my mother, my wife, my best friends who I actually love, my sisters, my brothers. If I'm not offending them.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

I don't really care, you know, Cuz if I am offending them, then I did something wrong because they'll. They'll tell me out of love. You know, There's a quote that I

[Josh]

love and it says there's no there. There's nothing better than the way you feel. Like you're, You're. The way you feel is like everything, right?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Like you can have a million dollars, but if you feel like, like the million, like the million dollars is worthless. You know what I mean? Or, or do you get what I'm saying? Like, emotion is everything. How you feel, how you feel about yourself is. It's the most important thing.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And I think it's crazy how you feeling confident, feeling good, feeling excited, feeling like just so good in your own skin. All this hard work you've been putting in and feeling yourself like that's a negative thing. Like, that's crazy to me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, he feels good, man. Let him be. And if you don't, if it really bothers you that much. You know what? Keep fucking scrolling. Who gives a fucking shit?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Like, you're that miserable that you want to spend your time typing in a keyboard. It turned into like, bring somebody down.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. Not working.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Especially not me. Yeah. But Loki. I like when they call me Zesty, son. I'm a Zesty. I really am, brother. No. Yeah, so that happened. So, like, I think we start. We started talking about this because you were telling that I've been throwing a lot of content out and I'm like. And I forgot that, like, sometimes when content does good, unfortunately it hits a certain algorithm where like, people actually don't know you, so they feel free to say anything about you. Because I know that actually people who fuck with me and people who follow me, they will never say anything like that because they know we all cool. Right. But I, I've told you before, I was like, I like it when I get these comments because I know that

[Josh]

you hit the algo.

[Sebastian]

Hit a certain algorithm that. Outside. Outside of my following.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Which means A, a certain percentage is going to like me, or B, a certain percentage is not going to like me. It doesn't matter because I hit that algorithm. So that's actually what you want when you create content is hitting a different algorithm than your Than. Than your own two things I'm gonna say right here.

[Josh]

One week, they hate you. The next week, they love you. Just make sure you get paid on both weeks. That's one, two. I kind of forgot because that quote hit what the was too, so can

[Sebastian]

edit in any way possible to make it look super cool, man.

[Josh]

Yeah, hook me up right here. So. Two things I'm going to say right here. One week they hate you, the next week, they love you. Just make sure you get paid on both weeks. For two. Who is two going to be?

[Sebastian]

No. And. And I know you.

[Josh]

I lost my train of thought, bro.

[Sebastian]

And I. I know that even prior to me talking about this, and I've been dealing with this for a long time, too, whether it be on social media or not. But

[Josh]

you've also dealt with this major, bro, major. I had to learn how to navigate that. You know, you have a really good head on your shoulder where, like, you have your sister. You've kind of seen it. You love her. You see, like, you view everybody as equal, and I do, too. But I'm not gonna lie. There was moments where it really shot me in the ego where I was like, kind of like, what. What the hell? This is weird, you know?

[Sebastian]

Well, especially because, you know, you, bro.

[Josh]

I grew up playing football.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

You know what I mean? Like, I grew up in the very. I don't. I don't want to say my chismo environment because I grew up with, like, a single mom, but I have. I have four uncles, and they're all like bodybuilders, like, manly man. So I had a lot of male role models in my life, and I grew up with that kind of energy around me. So even me taking a chance on a character like that was pretty. Pretty risky for me to do.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

You know, but I didn't care. Like I said, my intuition, my. Yeah. My intentions were in the right spot, My heart was in the right space.

[Sebastian]

I think it's such a beautiful thing, too, when people say, oh, when you're. When you. When you hit your 30s and stuff like that, you're so confident in yourself. You know, you get those comments nowadays. You know, you don't. It doesn't phase you. Not even one.

[Josh]

I can't tell you, but it might. Doesn't.

[Sebastian]

But in your early 20s, it might have phased you a tad bit because then you're like, damn, as a straight man, what can I do to make myself straighter? Right? Or like. Or what am I doing wrong? Maybe you would tell yourself, right.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

But no. And that's the beauty about, like, being, you know, this age is just no one can tell you shit and nor do you care.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. But. Yeah. And at the end of the day, just like how you said, people know where our hearts are at.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

And that's all that matters.

[Josh]

Intention, bro. Intention is everything. And you enjoying yourself in front of, you know, you getting ready to go out to this event, feeling good, dancing. Everybody does it. Everyone feels good, you know, and just. You want to just make a video out of it, like, bro. And it's just crazy how people just want to still want to jab at you.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. And it's okay. That's social media. It will never go.

[Josh]

Oh, that's what I was gonna say. That was two. I figured out too. Everybody, who we doing? How we doing? Everybody. Everybody good over there. Two is. Look, I. I talk about how people, you know, take time out of their day to create negativity, but it's only affecting themselves. Right. It's like. It's like. It's only rotting your own life. The mo. If, like, you. You might affect somebody else's heart, you know, but other people might get affected by it, but you're rotting your own heart more than anybody else.

[Sebastian]

Right.

[Josh]

But the truth is, bro, we are living in a social media world that. That's never going to go away. We are always going to have people who are going to waste their time, who have hate in their heart, who have jealousy in their heart, who want to make other people feel like they're going to do that. Yeah. So I think it's just important to, like, remember that. Be confident in who you are. Like, because when you put yourself in those, like, vulnerable situations, you got to. And you get those comments and they start affecting you. You got to kind of like, rewire your mind to, like, realize, like, who you are, what your intentions are. The people in your life and those. That's all that matters. So all that little noise is bullshit and it means nothing and they'll never go away. Because I hate that, bro. There's so much talent out there. There's so many incredible people that have a story that are. That. That they can share to the world and create a light. Just like you talk about how you want to be an inspiration for people, bro, I'm not going to lie. I'm a huge believer that everybody has a light. Everybody has a light to, like, show. And it just sucks that they see what comes with it and they dim their light and they don't allow themselves to shine because of Negativity. So that's, that's my message. It's like, look, we, we're in this world. It sucks, it's shitty. But if you know your heart and you know that, like, what you, you just want to, you want to just be yourself and express yourself in an artistic way, fucking do it. Because you, you, you can really. I hate to be corny, but you can, you can light up the world, man.

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[Josh]

You can light up the world.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. 100.

[Josh]

And even you being my friend, I mean, being inspired by your videos, like, I think that's very telling. And I'm just, I'm somebody who's close to you now. Imagine the, the ripples of that.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. And that's what inspires me to keep going.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

And I can receive, you know, hundreds of comments of people saying bad things about me or negative things about me. But guess what? Sebastian needs to see one comment of somebody who I inspired and that's what keeps me going. So for everybody back at home, that should be a lesson to you guys if you want to create content, because you might not be as strong at the moment like Josh and myself with like, negativity. But just so you, just so you understand that never will go away. And all you need is to represent for those people who, who you, who you're actually inspiring. And that's it. Because, like, I'll have all these comments that say bad things, but I don't care because I have so many more comments to say. Good things.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

And I focus my content on those people.

[Josh]

Exactly.

[Sebastian]

And like I said, those other people who are infected with hate and with whatever they've had in their life, that they have to be writing stuff out or creating some sort of negativity towards somebody else. I feel bad for them. And I, I believe, I do believe that, that along their life they will change.

[Josh]

Hopefully.

[Sebastian]

Hopefully. Yeah.

[Josh]

And that's what I was going to say. Just to like, go back to what I was saying. Like, I definitely think that we've all been created to like, carry this light and it might not just be in the creative aspect. Right. It might just be like something else you're scared to dive into because of like, what. The negative of what might come with it. Right. So we're speaking about specifically content creating the negative is like, how people are going to respond, the judgment that comes with it. You know what I mean? I think that it's just, I, I think the, that light that people carry will only brighten is if you take that chance.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So even though you carry that light, if you don't step into it, you'll never be able to hit that light switch. So that's why, that's my message, like, for, I guess today is like, take a chance or whatever it is.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Because do not leave this earth with that light dimmed in your, like, soul 100 whatever that light is for you.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. Some of my favorite content that I see online is when people make videos and it says cringe. And it's a video of them cringe. And it's a video that they're doing maybe running cringe, cringe, cringe until it's not cringe and they get that Nike sponsorship, they get that New Balance deal.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

You know what I mean? Or they get some sort of like, deal, salute deal. You know what I mean? It's like, it's guys, it's not. It's cringe until it's not. And then everybody's gonna be like, oh, like when I first started losing weight and people would see that I would bring meal preps to parties. Why would I do that? Right. Oh, well, it's cringe until it's not. And they see me in such great shape. Does that make any sense? So it's like, maybe that was a bad example.

[Josh]

No, no, it's not a bad example. It's a great example. Like you're. Yeah. Putting yourself out there.

[Sebastian]

You're putting yourself out there. Like, this is my life right now. But at the same time, it's like, guys, if you're really focused on making content and the people around you think it's cringe, it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them, do it for yourself. It's cringe until it's not.

[Josh]

Dude, I saw this tick tock where this similar context and I hope I don't messes up, but this guy was talking about how he's very into his fitness right now, so he'll go to parties and people offer him like, alcohol and like, he refuses because he's just, he's on a mission.

[Sebastian]

Right.

[Josh]

And that people will be like, kind of put a lot of pressure on, like, why aren't you drinking? Why you're drinking? Oh, you're in your, like, fitness goal. And then he'll be like. It'll be a guy's at a party, he's like six spears deep, and he's a little tipsy, and he'll come up to and be like, hey, man, I got to hit you up, because I want to get back into it, you know? And he's like, that's the. That's. That's why I'm doing it. Because it's like he. He knows that people are looking for to be better.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

But you got to take chances. You gotta, like, live in the uncomfortable for a bit. You know what I mean? Like, that uncomfortability where everyone's like, pressuring him like, yo, aren't you drinking? They gotta hear about his, like, fitness goals and stuff like that. But then that guy comes up to him when he's a little tipsy and he kind of settles in, you know what I mean? He's like, I'm gonna hit you up because I need to get back into it.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

He's like, talking about it. I thought it was just very, like, interesting, you know?

[Sebastian]

Yeah. Be the. Be the motivation in your crew. Yeah. I mean, like, it's. It's hard to do, but you can do it. There's always, like, little phases too. Like, everybody knows I'm not drinking. I'm like, you know, doing this. But, bro, once they see, like, the gains or once they see, like, how your health is just kind of like on the rise, it's super motivating and it changes the people around you. I promise you. It does.

[Josh]

It does.

[Sebastian]

Cool.

[Josh]

This was a great conversation. I know that Jess has some stuff that she wants us to dive into. I think we should do it, man.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

I mean, I know what you mean, brother.

[Josh]

Jessica, take it away.

[Jessica]

You know, the conversation around, like, toxicity always comes up. And I think this kind of ties into the types of people that are leaving some of the comments on Sebastian's content as well. It's like, it's coming from a negative place, coming from who knows what they're dealing with. Right? And so in turn, like, I don't know, maybe you could delete all of this. But basically, what I'm trying to, like, bring to the conversation is, like, toxic people. Are you. Have you ever been one? Are you actually one? Do you even realize that you're one or that you're not one? And then just like, different Scenarios that I think I could share with you guys, and you let me know your thoughts. Is it toxic? Is it not?

[Josh]

I like this. Okay, we're going to. We're going to. We're going to be the toxic experts.

[Sebastian]

Okay.

[Josh]

Toxperts.

[Sebastian]

Okay, I like that. Let's do it.

[Josh]

Let's do it.

[Jessica]

Oh, is there anything like a toxic trait that you guys had in your early 20s that you maybe outgrew or

[Josh]

you at some point realized, like, whoa, damn, Jess. All right.

[Sebastian]

In my early 20s.

[Josh]

Damn.

[Jessica]

Or we could start somewhere else if this is too hard hitting.

[Josh]

Yeah, no, this is not. Look, I. I've always talked about this. I get a. I know a lot of people, like, talk about, like, my maturity and my emotional intelligence. Like, I kind of get that kind of feedback from people. Right. And it's something that I very value and I appreciate. I think it has a lot to do with, like, the experiences that I had in my life. Like, seeing my mom go through divorces, living single. Like, I've just absorbed so much, you know? But on top of that, like, I've also lived a lot. Like, I've been in the weeds, bro. Like, I've been in the trenches and I've been in, like, relationships where I was not the best version of myself, and I was growing and I was learning. But through that, I had a. Somebody got. It got. I had to feel the hurt of that. They. What is it called? Like, dealing with the repercussions of my growth and having to live through that. So I'm very grateful for people that, like, I know went through that, for my, I guess the ability to. To, like, learn, you know?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Am I making sense?

[Sebastian]

You are.

[Josh]

I'm trying to be careful on, like, how I speak about this.

[Sebastian]

You're like, thank you. Thank you guys for allowing me to be douchey and learning.

[Josh]

No. Yeah, I guess. But I. I have to admit, like, I definitely had a lot of toxic moments in, like, my past, you know, in those relationships. But something that I could confidently say is that I've really learned from those moments and that didn't. Just wasn't toxic. And then I'm on to the next toxic. Like, I would really take a moment to, like, reflect and be like, what did I learn from that situation? What did I. What could I have done differently? How can I grow from this? And I think that really shows in where I'm at now. And I'm still growing, I'm still learning.

[Sebastian]

It also shows that you were always in search for the good of Yourself. And how can I better myself instead of continuing to be like that.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Or blaming the other person and saying, you know, oh, it was all her fault, or it was all their fault. You know what I mean? Like, it's always like, damn, what did I do? How can I be better for either the next person or just myself in general as an individual?

[Josh]

Yeah. So I think, like, just to answer just this question, like, I guess myself in, like, relationships in my 20s, I was not. I was not it. You know, I can. I can say that. And there's no shame because I definitely felt like there was growth from that, you know? Yeah.

[Sebastian]

But that was more like a question for you, because I've been with my wife for such a long time. But I think a toxic trait in me was just maybe in the beginning not being as thoughtful in my relationship, you know, just kind of being very comfortable with my wife and just kind of like, not really, like, planning exciting or memorable moments for both of us. You know what I mean? Also, I was broke as. So it was kind of hard. But it's not about the money. It's. It's.

[Josh]

It's.

[Sebastian]

It's about the effort and the intent that you put into making somebody feel special. I guess that's not really toxic. It's just kind of like a flaw. Flaw I had.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

You know what I mean?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

I guess it could be a little toxic because if you keep doing it. Right.

[Josh]

For sure.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. So, yeah, I think that that would be it. But, yeah, definitely.

[Josh]

Yeah. Oh, this is a good signs. You're the toxic one.

[Jessica]

Because I feel like the term, like, just talking about somebody who's toxic kind of gives you, like, a unique perspective of what this looks like. Right. But I feel like there's so many different ways that you could be an unhealed person and projecting onto other people.

[Josh]

That was the word. That's the word right there. If you're projecting to other people, you're the toxic one. I think that's it, you know, that's what I think. You know, like, if. If you see somebody, if you see your girlfriend talking to a guy, a casual conversation that. I don't know, whatever. And like, you're like, why are we talking to that guy? It's that insecurity that you're, like, projecting. That's when you become toxic and you got to be able to catch that. Like, I'm being toxic right now.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

You know, toxic isn't a very aggressive word, though. You know what I mean? But sometimes you are. But I think it's about just like, checking yourself. A lot of toxicity comes from insecurity. That's. That's the button right there is insecurity.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. And you have to understand that, you know, previous relationships that you had can make you still believe that your next one might be the same. But you coming into a new relationship or whatnot, you know, you really have to just kind of walk in with a blank canvas.

[Josh]

A lot easier said than done, my boy.

[Sebastian]

It is. It is, it is, it is, it is. But what I'm trying to say is, like, when you don't, you can be the toxic one, can you not?

[Josh]

Yes. But if you're willing to learn and take criticism, you can change that. Now, not everybody's going to put up with that.

[Sebastian]

Right.

[Josh]

But, like, if you're doing something toxic towards our relationship and I tell you, like, hey, I don't like that you do this. This makes me feel a certain way. But you talk through it and then you change, that's. I think that's good too, you know, because I think relationships could. You might not know your toxic traits, but being in a relationship kind of exposes that. And if you have the right partner with you, they can tell you, and then you can grow from that. Does that make sense? Yeah. So it's not like you don't need to come in with a blank canvas. That's a lot of pressure, because you might not even know, you know, And I've had that happen. I'm really speaking from experience here where, like, I felt like I'm good. I get into a relationship and I see something triggers me, and then I start acting toxic. And I've had people call me out like, hey, you're. You're doing this. And it's very, like, off putting, whatever it is, then I got to check myself. That's where it's humility. That's where growth. That's where maturity comes into play. When you can be like, damn, I am doing that. Huh? Okay, you know what? I think I'm doing this because this, this, and you start processing it, and then you grow from that. And I think that's a beautiful thing, bro.

[Sebastian]

That's good that you think that way, because there's a lot of people that. It's like, they won't check themselves.

[Josh]

Absolutely not. I know.

[Sebastian]

And that's. I think.

[Josh]

And that's toxic.

[Sebastian]

That's a little toxic, right?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

I mean, when you can actually, like, take a step back and, like, tell yourself, yo, you know, maybe I shouldn't be this way Right.

[Josh]

Yeah, but you check yourself, you know.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Because, dude.

[Sebastian]

Which is an amazing trait to have.

[Josh]

Yeah. But, you know, you know, I think we also, like, people are scared to take accountability because they. They put too much pressure on themselves. Like, you're the problem. You're the reason why. But if you really break it down, bro, like, we've had trauma in our lives that wasn't always our fault, and a lot of that stems from the trauma that we've had that makes us act like this. So maybe when you can just unpeel the onions a bit and be like, okay, it's. It is me, but why am I acting like this? Oh, when I was younger, I saw this, and this really affected me, and I experienced this trauma. So I think that's making me respond like this. If people can take that approach and remove that pressure off themselves, like, I'm the upper. I can't deny that because that's taking accountability. I think there would be a lot more growth in people. Does that make sense? Does that make sense?

[Jessica]

Yeah. It's tempting to get defensive. Right.

[Josh]

Especially when you take it personally.

[Jessica]

Yeah. You don't want to hurt the people you care about. You don't want to hear about how you hurt someone you love. And it's just like, it's easy to be like, well, that wasn't my intention, and it could not be your attention. But ultimately, like, you don't know the impact that it's having. So intention versus impact. You might not even know you're doing it. Doesn't mean that the other person is not feeling it a certain way.

[Josh]

Yeah, but that's why I think it's important to have, like, that right partner in your life who really wants the best for you. You know what I mean? And is, like, looking out for you. And it's like. And if they. If you are causing toxicity in the relationship, they can talk to you in a place of like, hey, this is. This is not okay. Like, what you're doing, how we're handling this. Like, we got to be better about this. And then being able to dissect that and grow from that. 100.

[Sebastian]

Honestly, like, being toxic, it doesn't have to deal with being in a relationship either. It can be toxic with your parents, with your friends, with work environment. Work environment. You know, it doesn't necess. It doesn't necessarily have to be just with your partner. You know, I think just, you know, even just, like, speaking about, like, toxic, I. I want to speak on, like, how to become even a better person being A better person is understanding that not everybody thinks like you. And if you have that in the back of your head, if, you know, like, I'm the only person that, bro, there's studies that say that you see colors a little differently than me.

[Josh]

That's crazy.

[Sebastian]

You know what I mean? So it's like, that just goes to show how different we are. I can't even imagine our brains, the way that we think, the way that we wake up, the.

[Josh]

The way we perceive, the way that

[Sebastian]

we react to things. You know what I mean? It's so different, and everybody is different. Just like how we have different fingerprints, you know, in our fingers. It's just. If you understand in life that in this world we share with other humans and every human is so different than you, if you understand that, that'll allow you to take a step back, and before you say anything, you just analyze a human and say, okay, that's why they said that, because they don't think like me and I don't think like them, you know, And. And you need to analyze humans before you make any sort of attempt to be. To correct them.

[Josh]

Tony Robbins has this quote, and he says, if you want to be more happy in life, have less rules for your life. Like you. Some people have these rules. Like, people have to be like this, this, and there are all these. Like, things have to be identical. And it's like. But if you just remove those things and you just understand what you're saying, like, people are different. People have different experiences, different perspective, and that's okay.

[Sebastian]

And when people. And when people say, oh, they need to have these rules, those rules are technically what you are. Right? Because they're setting rules and they're setting, oh, things need to be this way. It's not this way. It's your way. When you understand that nothing is your way and it has to be the world's way and how humans need to interact with each other, that's really the way. Things can't be your way.

[Josh]

Yeah, way.

[Sebastian]

There's things that should be your way. Right. Like, obviously.

[Josh]

Well, there's a difference between, like, rules and boundaries.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And, like, you're supposed to have boundaries in your life. I do believe that. But rules, I'm like, like, where people have to be a certain way or you get frustrated, you get mad. It's like you.

[Sebastian]

You got it. You can't be like, you can't be like that. And I think once you understand that, you will be a lot happy in your life. You know, I don't expect you to come over my house and, I don't know, take off your shoes or wash a dish right away or, you know, if you open up the fridge in my house, yeah, I'll roast you. You know, like, I'll be like, what the. You know, like, as a funny way. But I'm not going to get mad because you don't know what I do. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to get mad. It might be a stupid example, but it's just like, things like that. You know what I mean? But, yeah, I. I don't think. I think when. When you come to understanding, like, like I said, things aren't necessarily your way. It's everyone's way. You know what I mean? You'll be a lot happier.

[Josh]

That's good. Is it toxic, too?

[Sal]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

I have a list of certain situations.

[Josh]

Can we do them? Can we do rapid fire or do you want us to dive into these?

[Sebastian]

I think if they need to be rapid, they'll be rapid. And if we need to dive in deep. Got a zesty.

[Jessica]

Oh, and you know where you can have it your way at Burger King.

[Sebastian]

King.

[Josh]

Come on, baby.

[Sebastian]

Anyway, she's been waiting for that joke.

[Jessica]

I know I missed my 10 immediately

[Josh]

when you said it.

[Sebastian]

I said Burger King in my head,

[Josh]

just so you know.

[Sebastian]

Great joke, J.

[Jessica]

Thanks. Is it toxic too follow your ex on Instagram?

[Josh]

Yeah. If you're in a new relationship, yes, I'm going to say so. Look, I. I know people. There's obviously everyone's going to be like a circumstantial. Everybody's different. Some people might think it's toxic.

[Sebastian]

That's a baby mama.

[Josh]

Some people might think it's toxic. Did I say that you should unfollow your ex? They're like, that's toxic. Like, why are you that. It's like. No, it's not about that. It's just a respect thing. I don't need to be seeing that. I wish them the well, I want them to, you know, prosper in life, all that stuff, but I don't need to follow them. You don't need to follow them.

[Sebastian]

What about if you have a good relationship with your ex and it's just the. The mother of yourself?

[Josh]

Okay, that's very circumstantial, bro.

[Sebastian]

Right?

[Josh]

That's like, yes, okay, fine. You know what I mean? But the majority, like, like, okay, you're you recently. Your first relationship, you ever been in, right? You haven't had an ex, but you've had people that you've Had a past thing with.

[Sebastian]

Do you.

[Josh]

Do you follow them?

[Sal]

No, I have followed all.

[Sebastian]

He said that loud and clear.

[Josh]

He's like, is this thing on? Yeah. Every single person, babe, they're all gone now. Did you do it? Because you. Why did you do it? Let me just ask you there.

[Sal]

I just thought it was, like, a preference. She didn't tell me to do it. I just thought it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to see people. How do I explain? I just didn't want to see people I used to hook up with. I felt like that was disrespectful to my girl, and especially because the girls I was hooking up with, like, though their posts were a little bit more seductive.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sal]

And again, like, it was on my feed, and I didn't want to see that stuff. And, like, it's just.

[Josh]

It's out of respect for your partner.

[Sal]

Yeah, it's out of respect for my partner and for me to, like, just be, like, a better man and just not want to get into a whole. I don't want to be lustful.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sal]

And if I keep people that had a pass with, it will, like, trigger memories or trigger things.

[Josh]

And I don't want to keep that bro that honest. That vulnerability. I think that speaks volumes of him. Right. Because I know there are some people that would be like, well, why are you. Why are you thinking like that? It's like, bro, you're human. You know how you. You are. You're just protecting yourself. You're creating those boundaries of your heart.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And also showing respect to your partner. And I think there's nothing toxic about that. If anything, I think it's. What's the opposite of toxic?

[Sebastian]

Untoxic.

[Josh]

That.

[Sebastian]

That one, like, medicine.

[Josh]

I think it's medi. But, yeah.

[Sebastian]

No, it's really good to. To admit that you don't need these kind of like. Like me. I try not to go out as much when everyone's drinking, because then I'll end up drinking. Yeah, the same.

[Josh]

Same.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. So. Yeah, I agree. Good. So you're a good man.

[Josh]

Keep it up.

[Sebastian]

So keep it up.

[Josh]

I have unfollowed every single human.

[Sal]

They're all gone. I love my girlfriend so much.

[Sebastian]

I deleted my Instagram. Instagram.

[Josh]

I'm like, bro, that's. She made me. Help me set.

[Sebastian]

Help. Yes, I was. Blink twice if you need me. Holy. No. Yeah, I. I agree with you. Yeah, I agree with you. I respect. No matter what. Even. I think even, like. Well, I don't know, but, like, even if you did have a great relationship with your ex, you know, and you were single, but now you're not. I'm like, yo, I'm gonna follow you out of respect for my girl.

[Josh]

Sure. I. I love that.

[Sebastian]

Right? Like, and that's kind of mature of you to do, you know? And I think she should be like, yeah, all right.

[Josh]

I honestly don't even need to explain it.

[Sebastian]

No, you don. But, like, she should be like, yeah, I don't give a. Yeah, right? Like, who cares? Okay, cool.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

You know what? Hey, you got my number if you need me, you know, I'm right here.

[Josh]

Exactly, cuz.

[Sebastian]

Like you said.

[Josh]

I mean.

[Sebastian]

Or, like, south, like.

[Josh]

Like dangerous waters. But I get. I get your point. I get your point.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I know, but, like, I'm just trying to like, be like.

[Josh]

Like the middleman, like, the middle of it. Yeah. Yeah.

[Sebastian]

But, yeah, I think it's. I don't know. Is it, like, really that toxic? Yeah. Right?

[Josh]

Yeah, bro. Yes. It's just not worth it. It's just not.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, it's not worth it. Yeah, but like, you said, like, toxic is such a strong word.

[Josh]

It's a very strong word.

[Sebastian]

So, like, I rather be like, it's not worth it than saying, like, no, that's toxic.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

You know, I wouldn't, like, categorize somebody as like, you're so toxic, bro, for following your ex, you know?

[Josh]

Like, I agree.

[Sebastian]

I'm just be like, bro, you should,

[Josh]

like, unfollow your ex.

[Sebastian]

I wouldn't even say that. I would just be like, you know, like, I wouldn't consider them so toxic because it's a strong word.

[Josh]

But for the sake of your game, I would be curious if you were following your ex. Like, if you. Or your past. I would be like, why? Yeah, I would be curious. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And.

[Sal]

Oh, yeah, I always see is like, would I. I do what? I want my girl to follow her ex.

[Sebastian]

No.

[Sal]

So, like, I don't, like, if.

[Josh]

Golden rule.

[Sal]

Yeah. I always flip it. And if I feel weird when I flip it, then I just don't do it.

[Josh]

Damn. There you go. Golden rule. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

[Sebastian]

That was blinking at us, man.

[Josh]

He's like, yeah, I do. I do whatever she says. Yeah. Yeah. I love you, babe.

[Sal]

Have an Instagram curfew.

[Jessica]

On that note, is it toxic to look through your partner's phone?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, it is. Right? Yeah, I. I personally feel like a phone is like your own private little pal.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Right?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Now, me, in my situation, like, I Don't give a. I'm married. Right. Like, I.

[Josh]

Sure. For sure.

[Sebastian]

But, like, yeah, if you're, like, dating and stuff, and they're, like, looking at

[Josh]

your phone constantly, going through your phone constantly.

[Sebastian]

Or like. Like, who are you texting?

[Josh]

Or like, it's also how they're doing it, right?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Like, if my girl grabs my phone and she, like, whatever, wants to check something on her Instagram, whatever it is, like, I'm not tripping, right. But she's, like, waking up in the middle of the night to go through my phone. Like, either. I know this can go both ways, right? Because she might be feeling that I might be, like, doing something. But, like, there's also a toxicity to that.

[Sebastian]

Right?

[Josh]

Like, you doing that. That action. There's a toxicity to that.

[Sebastian]

I would say a higher percentage of. Of times that happens is when the other person has done something and, you know, there's like.

[Josh]

Yeah, there's something that's, like, causing that.

[Sebastian]

Causing that need to look through curiosity. Yeah. Or it's kind of like, hey, my phone died. Can I use yours? And then you, Josh, you're like, for what? Instead of just being, like, easy, you know, toxic. You know, that might be toxic. And then now that person is feeling like, like, wait, what? Why are you hiding something? Yeah. I mean, yeah, but let's just talk about, like, if we were just dating. You shouldn't be looking at her phone. She shouldn't be looking at your phone.

[Josh]

You know what's tough? It's like, you have moments where people have gone through people's phones and, like, they discover. And it's, like, very relieving for the relationship, you know, like, they needed to discover that thing in order for them to, like, leave the relationship. So that's where it's like. It's of kind just. It's weird because, like, okay, look, you going through the phone was a little toxic, right? But I get it. You had a suspicion, you had a hunch, you wanted to check, and you got verification, and now. Now you. You make your decision, Right?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So I don't know. That's where I kind of get torn, you know, because, like.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I also want to ask because Obviously it's like 90 women.

[Josh]

Like, if my dog. If my daughter did that. You know what I mean? She was like, dad, I was having, like, suspicions that my boyfriend was cheating on me, so I went through his phone.

[Sebastian]

You would agree with her.

[Josh]

Yeah, and no, I would agree. This is weird because I would agree if she caught him with something, like, she's like, and I saw all the messages. I saw everything. I'd be like, wow, that's crazy because you had this intuition. You checked in, you got validation.

[Sebastian]

But if she did, I would agree with that.

[Josh]

She's making out of it because she's insecure. I'd be like, sweetheart, you gotta chill. You gotta.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Josh]

Yeah. You're doing more damage to yourself than you know, than anything.

[Sebastian]

There's so many scenarios, right?

[Josh]

There's so many scenarios. So it's like, it's kind of hard to tell.

[Sebastian]

But the, the most cliche one is like just a guy or a girl can just be kind of like psycho about looking at your phone. And you know that that's considered, I guess, toxic.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sebastian]

But I do want to hear from all the women back at home because like I said, It's 90 women. What about you guys like a guy wanting to go to your phone? Like you like kind of freshly dating? I want to hear it from you guys. Comment down below. Next question.

[Jessica]

Is it toxic to ask your partner to share their location?

[Josh]

This goes back to what we talked about. Intention, right? Like, what is the intention? I think if, if you've been dating somebody for a while and maybe you guys live together and you're, you're out and about and you go, the girlfriends and stuff. A boyfriend, whatever. Boyfriends.

[Sebastian]

Do.

[Josh]

Friends call their, do guy friends call their friends boyfriends?

[Sebastian]

That's what I call you. That's what I call you.

[Josh]

But you get what I'm saying? Like, like for example, I have my girl's location.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And it's not in a toxic way. Like she, she's out and about, she's running errands and stuff like that. I just like to make sure she's okay.

[Sebastian]

I need to know where my wife.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah, you specifically, you're. I mean, you're married, you know, But I don't view it in a toxic way. Now if my girl was like, like completely, like, opposed to it, would I feel weird a little bit? I think I would feel a little weird because I'm like, man, I just want to make sure you're good. You know what I mean? Like, if I just want to be able to, like just check on you if I can't get a hold of you and I, you know, something happens.

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[Josh]

I know where I can go to at least, like, see if you're okay.

[Sebastian]

If you're dating, how long do you need to be dating in order for the woman to ask the guy for their location?

[Josh]

Six months to a year.

[Sebastian]

Six months?

[Josh]

Yeah. Six months is a long time with

[Jessica]

somebody, I would say. Until you make it official, baby.

[Sal]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

That's what I'm saying.

[Sebastian]

Oh, okay.

[Josh]

You're right. You know what? I changed my answer. That one.

[Sebastian]

I. I think so too.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not immediately. It can't be like.

[Sebastian]

Because if you're dating, that is a first, like, level of relationship. I don't. You know what I mean? Like, bro.

[Josh]

But it's also kind of.

[Sebastian]

What about if you never get married and you're, like, dating. Dating for 10 years?

[Josh]

No, you should have your partner's location, bro. It's not. It's not weird. We can't make that weird. It can't be a weird thing. Yeah, it's almost weird if you don't, like. If you're being weird about it. Sharing it.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. Because, like, I met Karen when I was 19 and I didn't get married until like, 10 years later, you know, But I obviously had the relationship. But I know what you mean. It's when you're, like, really, like, locked in officially.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

You know what I mean? My situation is definitely different, though, from a lot of people. A lot of people get married a lot faster, you know, which I got married a lot longer. You know what I mean? So it's like, I do believe that, like, once you make it, like, if you're dating for a year or two and, like, you guys are still dating. But you know, people and humans, we get attached so fast. We get attached so fast from people.

[Jessica]

Like, I'll do respects to us, but I don't even know if there was share my location back in 1865, bro.

[Josh]

There wasn't.

[Sebastian]

No, but that's it. There wasn't.

[Josh]

You're like, but I would have.

[Sebastian]

And it's so funny because we were

[Josh]

talking about it, like, if it's been

[Sebastian]

a thing, honestly, sharing location, it's kind of new right now. Yeah. But what I was saying too, is, like, humans naturally love each other immediately.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

And it's almost like now it's like, it's like a thing of, like, it's like a commitment thing.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Like, even though, like, you're not married or anything, if it's like, you share location, I'm sharing my location with you. That's gonna make the woman or the

[Josh]

man feel like, whoa, that's very telling, too.

[Sebastian]

Next level.

[Josh]

How they respond to that. How they respond to that. Yeah.

[Sebastian]

So it's. Some might take it like, well, if they like each other, they're not going to take it that way. But maybe if you, like, share it too fast, maybe the chicks can be like, yo, chill, man.

[Josh]

And also, there's three options. When you share. When you share locations.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

An hour until an hour and a day.

[Sebastian]

End of day, definitely.

[Josh]

And if you hit that indefinitely button, that's infinity sign. The infinity sign. That's forever, my boy.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh]

So careful. Choose wisely.

[Sebastian]

Choose wisely. Yeah, no, I, I, I do it out of safety.

[Josh]

Honestly, bro, can I tell you, I have no issue sharing my location? I'll share it with the waiter who's helping me out, bro.

[Sebastian]

That's a lie.

[Josh]

But, like, you know, I'm not tripping. If somebody has my location, I'm like, I don't care.

[Jessica]

Yeah. So we're all sharing locations.

[Josh]

I really don't care.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. With you guys. Don't give a. I like when people know where the I'm at.

[Josh]

Like, you should see this.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Y' all looking at my log.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. Honestly, all my friends, we all share our locations. Yeah, I know every. Well, everyone's doing it.

[Josh]

Exactly.

[Sebastian]

Every single moment.

[Jessica]

Is it toxic to argue in public?

[Josh]

Yes.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, of course. Absolutely. That does.

[Josh]

Not only is it toxic, it's very disrespectful.

[Sebastian]

It's disrespectful and it's embarrassing. Things like that can. If you're mature. Hey, let's both shut the up and let's, let's go. Whether you're out of the car, go to the car and do your little thing. Nobody needs to hear you guys's pow wow. Yeah. And. Or do it at home. Or we can save this conversation for when we get home. And let's enjoy right now. Unless it's, like, super serious, then we should be going home regardless.

[Josh]

You need to be able to have self control within yourself to know how to put a pin in it and know how to, like, scrap it for another moment. You know what I mean?

[Sebastian]

If you have the power to be arguing in public, that argument should not. If you have the power to argue in public, I don't believe that the argument is worth anything. Because if it's a real, true argument, either you go to the car or you go home. Like, if people are arguing in the restaurant, and if it's a really big time arguing, leave the restaurant and go home. Right. There's a big issue going on. But if it. But if it can wait, then that argument isn't really that important. If it can wait. Now, there are arguments that you need to talk about. Right? I believe that if we're at a restaurant and we're arguing, which we shouldn't, there shouldn't be no arguing. Because at the end of the day, 90% of the times that people argue, those arguments fade away into happiness, and then everything is okay. Does that make any sense?

[Josh]

Yeah, I get what you're saying.

[Sebastian]

Like, like, to me, personally, I don't know if this is just who I am, but arguments are never worth it for me. No. Now, if there's a serious situation, yeah, we'll talk. But for the most part, I take everything with a grain of salt because I know that we love each other. And this. I'm not even speaking with my wife. I'm speaking with anybody that I'm arguing with.

[Josh]

Do you ever have people that you kind of enjoy arguing with a little bit, though? Like, is this for fun? Because you know that it's not, like, that serious.

[Sebastian]

It's just like, well, it must not be a serious argument.

[Josh]

No, it's. It's more of like a play argument.

[Sebastian]

Like a play bickerment. Yes, of course.

[Josh]

I love a little play argument.

[Sebastian]

That's all we do.

[Josh]

Even, like, if I do with my girl, it's kind of hot. You know what I mean? Like, you know, not just me. All right, let's move on. Hey, row. Because, like, I'm never going to initiate

[Sebastian]

an argument with my wife.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah. You know. You know what? Me and Mo, like, we don't argue, bro. So, like, sometimes, like, I'm not going to lie, I was just like, this.

[Sebastian]

Is that toxic?

[Josh]

Probably. But I'm like, we got to spice it up. We are. We're together.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Is it toxic when you're dating to be talking to multiple people at once?

[Josh]

Oh, my God, bro. I'm gonna say no. Look, if you're talking to somebody and nothing has been defined, if you're in. If you even have, like, the confidence to, like, express, like, yo, just so you know, I'm talking to people, like,

[Sebastian]

more power, which would be good.

[Josh]

Which would be good. Especially if you're like, if you. I think it's always good. You know what I mean? The better you. The more you communicate, the better.

[Sebastian]

Because it's probably good, too, because if you be straight out with either the.

[Josh]

The.

[Sebastian]

The man or the woman, and you're saying, hey, I'm. I'm seeing a lot of people right now.

[Josh]

Tell them that. Or do they need to, like, ask you? Like, are you initiating that? Like, are you saying that? Because I'm trying to think. Like, I'm not gonna just tell a girl I'm talking to. Like, hey, just so you know, I'm talking to multiple women.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

But if she asked me, are you talking to other people? It's my dude.

[Sebastian]

Yes.

[Josh]

To tell the truth at that moment, be like, I am.

[Sebastian]

And then, however her reaction is, it's very telling for you, right? Yeah. And maybe a good way or a bad way.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Because she's like, okay, for sure. I am too.

[Josh]

But she. Because if she does this, well, just so you know, I'm not. Okay. That's where it gets interesting, you know, Because I feel like that's kind of.

[Sebastian]

What would you say?

[Josh]

That's kind. That's where it gets interesting. Circumstantial. Because if I am talking to people and there's. If she is the one that really has, like, my most interest, I think that's kind of her asking me, like, where we. Where are we going?

[Sebastian]

Right.

[Josh]

That's kind of a question. It's an indirect question.

[Sebastian]

However, her answer is. Is very telling for you. Yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

So sometimes it's kind of good that you say that because you'll get somewhat of an answer, whether that be good or bad. Yeah. Something telling coming at you.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Right. Because if you say, you know, I am. Hey, I noticed that you're, like, hanging out with a lot of, like, other girls. Yeah, I'm actually not really seeing her, but I'm, like, dating around. Like, you know, that's great. She was like, right before. Or like, I've been dating. I've met her, like, maybe a couple months before you. She's a really cool girl. Like. Like. Like, this is dating, right?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Isn't that what dating is?

[Josh]

100.

[Sebastian]

Right. So if she says, oh, okay, I don't really like that. That might be very telling for you. I'm like, oh, well, we're nothing. We're dating. And you're already telling me maybe not to do that. You know, that might feel. That might make you feel a certain type of way about her.

[Josh]

100.

[Sebastian]

In a negative way. Now she says, okay, cool. I'm also dating a couple of people, too. And then she just kind of cuts you off and just enjoys the night with you.

[Josh]

That's kind of cool and hot.

[Sebastian]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that might be hot to you.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

You're like, oh, well, what the, man? I want to be the only vato. Yeah, right. Yeah, but.

[Josh]

And then she goes, things can be

[Sebastian]

a lot of things.

[Josh]

She looks in the eyes, you know? You're not the only one who's trying to be the only one. Boom.

[Sebastian]

That's hot.

[Josh]

Boner alert.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. In gray sweats.

[Josh]

Not even hiding it. No, no, no. This is, like, specifically to, like, dating, like, early stages. Yeah, Yeah, I think. No, I think I'd say it's hot because, like, honesty, bro. Like, honesty is hot. Yeah, that's my point. You know what I mean? Like, trying to be, like, secretive and stuff. There's like. There's just like, this ickiness to that. Like, just be honest.

[Sebastian]

It's. It's one of the. It's one of the. Now, me being a little bit older, it's. I believe. And I tell this to my single friends, too. The best thing that you can do when you start in a relationship is always be honest. Because a lot of times when we dive into relationships, we're always kind of like, yes, mans. And there's maybe something that we want to really tell her and be honest about, but we don't, because we just want to make them happy and we want to be whoever they want us to be. Right. Because that's just going to make the relationship happy. But at the end of the day, it's just really going to kick you in your ass later in the relationship because it's like, you never put your foot down, and now it's too late.

[Josh]

And then also, bro, when you're honest, it's like you've already given them everything. So it's like, now what?

[Sebastian]

There's.

[Josh]

I told you everything.

[Sebastian]

Now what?

[Josh]

Yeah, now. Now you get to decide.

[Sebastian]

It's not like we're playing this game, ladies and gentlemen. You should always be honest in the very beginning of your relationship. It'll help you so much down the line, and you will always be a gen. Your genuine self. Yeah, it might. There might be times where honesty might be scary, but it. Because at the end of the day, at least that person can say, you know what? I'm mad at him, but no matter what, he never lied to me when I had something to tell him. If. Even if he did something wrong, at least he was a man of his word or a woman of her word and told me the truth. And I can at least respect that later on, even though in the beginning, or you're mad, but whatever, later, later, when maybe they get over it, they're going to tell themselves. At least my man was truthful. And he. And he. And he took accountability, and he was. And he's always been like that since day one. You know what I mean? And that speaks back volumes of a person.

[Josh]

Yeah, I agree.

[Jessica]

Is it toxic to end things over text

[Josh]

just to be more like. Get more context, like. Like a relationship?

[Sebastian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or dating, too.

[Jessica]

Or dating.

[Josh]

Dating. I don't think so. But a relationship, yes.

[Sebastian]

If you're dating for a certain amount of time, time is telling. And you guys really saw each other a lot and you guys shared good moments. Yeah. Call. Meet in person. I don't know.

[Josh]

No, but I don't know.

[Sebastian]

I was like. Thought about it. I was like, wait up. I don't know if I'd be into that.

[Josh]

No, but here's the thing, bro. We were talking about this earlier. Like, everybody's perspective is different, right? Like, you're dating somebody, they might be all in, you might not. Right. So they might have this expectation of, like, I thought we were, things were great, and then you weren't feeling like that. So you shoot them a text, be like, hey, this isn't really working out for me. Thank you so much for everything. Blah, blah.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Like, I don't think that's toxic. But if you're in a relationship with somebody, of course you got to call.

[Sebastian]

I think if you shared memorable moments with each other in real time right in front of each other, you know, I do think call is 100 necessary if you can meet up and at least show your dignity like that and be like, hey, I'm so sorry. I will forever love you, and you did so much to me, and I still want to be friends, you know, it'll suck and I'm assuming to be very awkward and she might hate you or vice versa, guy or girl. But you know what I mean?

[Josh]

Yeah. I say this.

[Sebastian]

It's very telling.

[Josh]

Yeah, for sure. I say this so humbly. I've never had that happen to me. Or like, somebody, like, breaks up with me over a text. Right. Even dating, like, somebody's not done that to me.

[Sebastian]

No one has ever broken.

[Josh]

But can I tell you something? Never been dumped. I'm the dumpy. No, the dumper. The dumper. The Dumper spaniel. I don't think that if somebody did that to me that it would bother me. If I'm talking to somebody and they shot me a text like, hey, this isn't really working out. Like, the. The outcome is still the same, so what difference does it make? But I get it. I also get the other. I'm just saying, me personally, I'm talking to somebody. She may take, like, hey, maybe they don't have the courage to, like. And if anything, that saves me because I'm like, damn, you don't even have the courage to call me.

[Sebastian]

Perfect.

[Josh]

I'm glad that I saw this from you, and I'm glad that you ended it. So I think if anything is. I'm like, for me, it's, like, your way out.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, but you're a man, though.

[Josh]

That's what I'm saying. So I definitely think it's different for women because I think that. Would you expect to call for. You're, like, talking to somebody.

[Jessica]

I think it depends, Jessica. I think it depends. I'm more aligned with, like, what Sevas is saying. It depends on how long you've been dating them, if it's been serious, if it's just, like, a casual. You're all both seeing other people. Absolutely. Hey, not working out. Peace. See you later.

[Sebastian]

You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Jessica]

But if you've invested years in this relationship.

[Josh]

Oh, my God, that's it. That's.

[Sebastian]

You know what I mean?

[Jessica]

And it was serious then. Yeah, I. A text would kind of be like, what?

[Josh]

Yeah. No, bro, if you're, like, years with some. A year with somebody, you've made it official, they've met your family, you have this, like, tie, like. Like, you have. Well, that's insane. That's insane. To shoot him. Attacks. Yeah. Nice knowing you.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. Thanks, dude.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. So these were good. These were really good. Thank you so much, Jessica.

[Josh]

You guys enjoy these? Yeah. We can do a part two.

[Sebastian]

It was kind of difficult because, like, Josh said, like, toxic is a really strong word.

[Josh]

Strong word.

[Sebastian]

So it's like, next time we'll put, like, toxic at, like, oh, that's toxic level one. Ooh. You know what I mean? Oh, that's toxic level two, you know, Toxic. Yeah, there. There is a toxic skill or, you know, there's a certain degree of toxic. You know, just like Josh, like, he wants tech basically his girl to be at least 70. Toxic.

[Josh]

He's not 70. Yeah, I'm not mad at that. Yeah, don't talk like that. I'm not mad at that.

[Sebastian]

Making me horny. Zesty.

[Josh]

Well, Sevas through 236. 5. 235 forever, baby. There it is.

[Sebastian]

There it is.

[Josh]

It'll never be again.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, great.

[Josh]

Never have another. Ladies and gentlemen. Bro, that's it. Not crazy. At one point of today, there was no 235. And we're here. It's over, dude. It's done. Isn't that kind of scary?

[Sebastian]

Who was talking to us the other day about, like, how we always post every week and it's, like, doesn't phase us anymore.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Sebastian]

It's part of our life. Who was that?

[Jessica]

I think it was part of the conversation with Bretman. No. Where he was kind of like, you guys don't take breaks because they take.

[Josh]

This is off camera.

[Sebastian]

I don't know.

[Jessica]

I don't remember.

[Sal]

It was before.

[Sebastian]

Before. Was it Brett? Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, we're here for y'. All. We ain't going nowhere.

[Josh]

We did say we're talking about, like, it's in who we are.

[Sebastian]

I kind of want to say it was somebody else, though. I don't know.

[Josh]

But. Yeah, it could have been. It could have been.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. No, but the other day.

[Josh]

Oh, it was comments. People responding to it. It. People saying, thank you for taking the time to. To do videos every week. And it was about the Bretman episode. It was last episode. Somebody commented that. And we, like, talked about how it's, like, who we are. So what we do. Whatever. It's a bunch of.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, it feels good, honestly, like, personally, like, knowing that we film so much and we do this every week. Like, I don't know. Another podcast that has been doing. Oh, they're obviously.

[Josh]

There are a lot.

[Sebastian]

There are a lot. But I personally don't know any. And so when ask me, I'm always like, yeah, how many episodes have you. Have you guys filmed? Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And then. That's cute.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

No, everybody starts. No, bro.

[Josh]

But I think that's like a. We always talk about, like, people saying that they want to start something. Consistency is the thing. We're a testament to that. Like, we. Because we've been consistent, we've get these opportunities. We get an incredible audience. We get people that they trust us because we're here. We're gonna. You know where to find us.

[Sebastian]

Crazy, huh?

[Josh]

You know where to find us Kind of crazy. Yeah. Go ahead.

[Sebastian]

No, I'm just gonna wish everybody a beautiful week, guys. Follow all our social media platforms.

[Josh]

Yeah, dude.

[Sebastian]

Because we're all posting one video, one reel this week. I give you guys, homework. So I already post. But Jessica, I'm waiting for. Jessica should do like a day in my life.

[Josh]

Oh, you should.

[Sebastian]

Jessica should do a day in my life. And then it'll be like, dude, your

[Josh]

video would be really cool because you have through that corner like this a meeting. Yeah, today would have been.

[Jessica]

We're literally just talking. Before you guys came in, Matt did

[Josh]

a video where he was like, sorry. So where he was like, showcasing him setting up for la. And I thought it was really, like, interesting. So I could imagine Jess like her like, view pov.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. And I want. I want her to be like, brutally honest. Like, I hate

[Josh]

now this is. This is the part I hate.

[Sebastian]

And for everybody back at home too. I want you guys to create content and. And who cares if it's cringe? And if you do create the content, tag us, because we want to see it. And if we do see it, I'll like it.

[Josh]

Yeah, I've been waiting on this piece of content that I'm gonna release. I recently or recently renovated my home office, which I'm like, oh, you've been filming it? Not yet. Because there's still like a couple things missing and it's still not gonna be completely done. But I'm gonna do like walking people through my office, like the new office, kind of like how Karen did for the home gym. I'm gonna do like something like that.

[Sebastian]

Well, if you ever need somebody to film it.

[Josh]

Are you down?

[Sebastian]

That was your guy. No, I can do it. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, bet.

[Sal]

Also, real quick, only about 5 to 7% of all podcasts reach the 100 episode milestone.

[Josh]

How to 7%? That's actually 7. A lot more than I expected, if I'm being honest. It's really low. But it's also like.

[Sebastian]

No, that's probably. Probably go to probably less.

[Jessica]

Right?

[Sal]

Cuz 90% of shows fail under a hundred episodes.

[Josh]

Oh, wow.

[Sebastian]

How many episodes do you guys have?

[Josh]

Oh, they're up there, bro.

[Sal]

Yeah, we're like 2, 42, 30 something.

[Josh]

You guys are up, you guys.

[Sebastian]

Son of a. No, if you guys don't know, you guys obviously have to follow Sal's podcast as well. Like, I know you guys know, but like, there's some people that probably don't know.

[Sal]

And our most viewed video is the episode we did with you guys.

[Josh]

You guys should start there because it's a fun episode.

[Sebastian]

Really?

[Sal]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Oh, sick.

[Sal]

I learned a lot from that episode. Actually. Talking about toxicity, that's where I. I tone my toxicity down. There's a comment from your guys's pants audience where it's like, you can see the difference between boys and men. And I was like, oh, I never really thought of. I was like, damn. And that's why I checked myself. I was like, oh, okay. Maybe we're gotta tone it down on.

[Sebastian]

Okay. I like how you can like, at least notice that. Right.

[Josh]

I didn't.

[Sebastian]

I think anything. I think we're all equal.

[Josh]

No, you don't. I was like, no, you don't.

[Sebastian]

I'm joking. No, but definitely go follow.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Sebastian]

So this, this time, this episode, all our social media platforms and stuff like that.

[Josh]

Yeah. So we'll plug yourself.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, and plug your. Plug yourself too.

[Josh]

Yeah, absolutely, man.

[Sebastian]

So, yeah, have an incredible week, guys. We love you guys.

[Josh]

Especially if you're listening this deep. What's up with it?

[Sebastian]

Stop talking like that, boner boy.

[Josh]

We haven't said in a minute, bro. Ended off by saying, how did it.

[Sebastian]

How did it go?

[Josh]

Before you feel it, bro. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna.

[Sebastian]

You go, no approxima platica.

[Josh]

That's the first one of 2026, bro.

[Sebastian]

I think at 2025, we didn't say it either. We bring it back, ciao.