LA PLÁTICA – “Are You Toxic or Just Insecure? 👀”

Hosts: Sebastian Robles & Josh Leyva
Guest Contributors: Jessica, Sal
Date: February 23, 2026

Episode Overview

In this lively and unfiltered “plática,” Sebas and Josh dive deep into the fine line between toxic behaviors and insecurities—both in themselves and in internet culture at large. Using real-life examples from their own content creator journeys, they get candid about growing beyond machismo, handling negative comments online, and evolving emotionally as men. Alongside Jessica and Sal, the group dissects classic "toxic" scenarios in modern relationships, aiming to separate insecurity from actual toxicity. The result is a refreshingly honest conversation that mixes laughs, genuine self-reflection, and practical advice for a more confident, compassionate way of living and relating.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Handling Online Criticism & The “Zesty” Comment

[03:38–15:53]

• Sebastian recounts posting a lighthearted, “Get Ready With Me” dancing video, which quickly attracted supportive feedback but also comments questioning his masculinity and sexuality (“zesty,” “just say you’re gay already”).
• Sebastian: “When people call me gay, zesty, bisexual, I lowkey take that as a compliment. If you think I look feminine, you think I look beautiful. And as a man…you can do it all. I feel like I can do it all.” [16:35]
• Both hosts reflect on how online hate often reveals more about the commenter than the target. For Sebastian, growing up with a transgender sister and embracing difference has steeled him against homophobic/machista comments.
• Josh: “A lot of toxicity comes from insecurity. That’s the button right there.” [35:25]
• On negativity: “If it really bothers you that much, you know what? Keep fucking scrolling. Who gives a fucking shit?” – Josh, [19:52]

2. Representation, Self-Image, & Inspiring Others

[05:29–10:07; 26:12–28:12]

• The hosts emphasize the importance of authenticity in social media, resisting the pressure to only show hyper-masculine, “acceptable” expressions.
• Sebastian shares a story about inspiring a young fan and the fulfillment in being a positive example, especially for Latino boys growing up with few emotionally open male role models.
• They encourage listeners (and each other) to “shine their light,” even if some view honest self-expression as “cringe” at first.
• Sebastian: “It’s cringe until it’s not…when people see the gains, or your health is on the rise, it’s super motivating. It changes the people around you. I promise you, it does.” [28:12]

3. Growth from Toxic Traits & Machismo

[32:11–35:13]

• Jessica prompts: Have you ever outgrown toxic traits from your 20s?
• Josh opens up about being less mature and not “the best version” of himself in earlier relationships, stressing the value of self-reflection and learning from one’s mistakes.
• Sebastian, who’s been with his wife since his early 20s, admits early complacency—a lack of thoughtfulness—not exactly toxic, but a flaw that could become one if unaddressed.
• Both agree “toxic” is a strong word—most people act out of insecurity or unhealed wounds (“projecting”).

4. Signs and Origins of Toxicity

[35:14–41:11]

• Many “toxic” behaviors are rooted in insecurity and projecting, e.g., jealousy over casual interactions, ridiculous “rules” in relationships.
• Sebastian: “Previous relationships can make you think your next one will be the same. But you have to walk in with a blank canvas.” [35:41]
• Josh: “If you’re willing to learn and take criticism, you can change.” [36:02]
• The importance of taking individual accountability, but also recognizing how upbringing and trauma influence behavior.

5. Rapid-Fire: Is It Toxic If…?

(Jessica’s Scenarios & Group Debates)

A. Following Your Ex on Instagram

[42:18–46:30]

• Consensus: It’s generally not respectful if you’re in a new relationship. Some nuance for co-parenting or friendly exes, but mostly—just unfollow for everyone’s peace.
• Sal: “I didn’t want to see people I used to hook up with—it felt disrespectful to my girl. Also, their posts were…a little more seductive.” [43:26]

B. Looking Through Your Partner’s Phone

[46:51–49:29]

• Sebastian: “A phone is your own private pal…if you’re dating, you shouldn’t be looking.”
• Josh highlights the nuance: Sometimes snooping confirms a justified suspicion, but if it’s chronic, it signals insecurity and erodes trust.

C. Asking to Share Locations

[49:59–54:39]

• General view: With intention—safety, reliability; not surveillance. Becomes more appropriate as the relationship gets serious or official. Don’t rush it.
• Sebas: “When you’re really locked in—officially—that’s when it makes sense.”

D. Arguing in Public

[54:44–57:20]

• Unanimous: It’s both toxic and disrespectful. Handle disagreements in private; public arguments often signal deeper issues or lack of impulse control.
• Josh: “You need to be able to have self-control…put a pin in it for another moment.”

E. Talking to Multiple People When Dating

[57:21–60:58]

• Hosts: It’s fine if it’s not defined/official; honesty is key. If asked, own up to it—authenticity is “hot,” sneakiness is not.
• Sebastian: “Always be honest in the very beginning. It’ll help you so much down the line, and you’ll always be your genuine self.” [61:03]
• Josh: “Honesty is hot.” [60:33]

F. Ending Things via Text

[62:01–64:40]

• Context matters: OK for early dating, not for serious/long-term relationships. If you’ve shared significant time and memories—call or meet.
• Jessica: “If you’ve invested years…a text would be like, what?”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sebastian on Toxicity vs. Insecurity:
  “A lot of ‘toxic’ comes from insecurity. That’s the button right there.” [35:25]

• Sebastian on Online Hate:
  “I grew up with a gay brother who turned transgender later—so, my transgender sister now. So, bro, I’m about that life… It doesn’t upset me when people say things like that… If you think I look feminine, you think I look beautiful.” [15:29; 16:49]

• Josh on Self-Work:
  “You might not know your toxic traits, but being in a relationship exposes that. With the right partner, you can grow from that. You gotta check yourself: that’s where humility and maturity come in.” [36:10]

• Sebastian on Growth:
  “When you’re in your 30s, you’re so confident in yourself…comments don’t phase you, not even one.” [23:08]

• Jessica on Accountability:
  “Intention vs. impact—you might not know you’re doing it, but that doesn’t mean the other person isn’t feeling it.” [38:10]

• Sal’s Golden Rule:
  “Would I want my girl to follow her ex? No…If I feel weird when I flip it, then I just don’t do it.” [46:23]

• On Consistency & Inspiration:
  “It feels good…knowing we film so much and do this every week. Consistency is the thing. We’re a testament to that.” – Josh [67:21]

Takeaways & Closing Thoughts

• Toxicity and insecurity are often confused; recognizing the difference helps drive personal growth.
• Self-awareness, humility, and honesty—not perfection—are key to healthy relationships and self-expression.
• Online criticism reflects more about the critic than the creator. Take the support, ignore the hate.
• It’s always “cringe until it’s not”—true for content, self-improvement, or stepping outside cultural boxes.
• Don’t let fear of negativity dim your light; your authenticity is someone else’s inspiration.

TIMESTAMPS FOR MAJOR SEGMENTS

• Get Ready With Me / Zesty Comment/Online Hate: [03:38–16:49]
• Body Image, Motivation, and Inspiring Fans: [05:29–10:07]
• What is Toxic? Handling Criticism, Machismo, and Growth: [32:11–41:11]
• Toxic Scenarios Rapid-Fire (Exes, Phones, Locations): [42:18–54:39]
• Relationship Arguments and Honesty in Dating: [54:44–64:40]
• Podcasting, Consistency, and Audience: [66:56–70:22]

La Plática masterfully blends vulnerable storytelling with comedic, culturally sharp banter, offering a thoughtful exploration of how to be less toxic, more secure, and ultimately—more yourself, both online and off.