C (2:29)

Let me be honest.

D (2:30)

Every guest is a privilege.

E (2:31)

Do we want to go there, get jolly?

D (2:33)

Cause I'm on a podcast with Josh Labor. Hell, yeah, you have too.

E (2:38)

Ladies and gentlemen, let me just tell.

C (2:42)

You, this is la Platica, episode 226.

D (2:53)

Lad and gentlemen, I am Dr. Evil, and welcome to the most evilest Latino podcast in the world. Hold on to your horses. Because. Just hold on to them. Okay.

E (3:19)

Dude, that was so good. That was so good.

D (3:23)

All right, hold on. Wait.

E (3:26)

Which way should I spin? Which way.

D (3:27)

Should I spin the chair that way? You hurry up, dude. We don't have all.

E (3:34)

I think I hit my mic. Here we go. Are you ready? And the best part of this plan is nobody can stop us. Yo, let's not be in character the whole podcast.

D (3:58)

Sure, people didn't like that, but it's okay. Because honestly, Dr. Evil, it's a little less annoying.

E (4:10)

Look at how far I can go back on mine, bro.

D (4:19)

Can I just say something? Josh Leva.

E (4:22)

Yeah.

D (4:22)

If that's even your real name.

E (4:25)

Where's the Voice at?

D (4:26)

I don't know.

E (4:28)

Where do we go with. Where do we go with the Voice?

D (4:31)

I thought the Voice was a little more difficult. It's a little easy when you know what you're about to say.

E (4:42)

It's a little Grinchy, though.

D (4:43)

A little.

E (4:44)

It's a little Grinch.

D (4:44)

You have to have that Mike Myers in you.

E (4:47)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

D (4:49)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. As you can see, we are both Dr. Evil. Or Mini Me, or whatever you'd like to call us. Well, who's Mini Me? Who's the doc?

E (4:57)

I feel like that's pretty obvious.

D (5:00)

Can I say something?

E (5:01)

No.

D (5:02)

I've been making a reoccurring meme on our. On our Instagram for the past year or two.

E (5:08)

It's been a minute.

D (5:09)

It's been a minute. And you've been Mini Me. I have you as Mini Me.

E (5:14)

That's.

D (5:14)

And I always post it.

E (5:15)

Yeah.

D (5:16)

And now it's real life.

E (5:18)

Yeah.

D (5:18)

You do look like many of me.

E (5:19)

I feel like that whole meme inspired us to do this.

D (5:23)

It's almost like we always wanted to do it and we never talked about it.

E (5:26)

Here's the thing. I feel like if we were going to do it, we needed to make sure that we do it right.

D (5:33)

Right. Welcome, everybody, to another episode. Yes. La platica. It's Christmas is in a couple days, motherfucker.

E (5:41)

We know. This is the last episode of the year for us. You're right. I am so sorry.

D (5:48)

You confused me right now. Honestly.

E (5:50)

Yes, I confused myself.

D (5:55)

Right.

E (5:57)

No, you're right. I'm so sorry.

D (6:01)

Typical Dr. Evil of you.

E (6:07)

Your eyes are piercing. I honestly don't want to stop looking at you.

D (6:10)

Yeah.

E (6:11)

Yeah.

D (6:11)

Finally.

E (6:12)

Your head is fucking huge, though. Finally.

D (6:14)

Finally. Gazing to my eyes.

E (6:17)

You're sitting more like Mini Me, though.

D (6:19)

Yeah. No, we're huge fans of Dr. Evil. We said, hey, what can we dress up as for Christmas?

E (6:28)

Just to switch up.

D (6:30)

And we said Santa Claus. Cuz, you know, we had that whole thing.

E (6:35)

Yeah.

D (6:35)

And why not be Dr.

E (6:37)

Evil, yo. Honestly, Dr. Evil, huge fan of SE as well. Friends over there. Their number one ready ticketing app on the App Store. Shout out, Dr. Evil. Shout out SeatGeek.

D (6:47)

Shout out to SE Geek. By the way, you look great bald, bro.

E (6:55)

I. I'm not. I'm kind of into it. Yeah, I'm kind of into it.

D (6:58)

You look like that guy. You look tough.

E (7:01)

It gave me confidence that if I ever were to, like, have a receding hairline. First of all, I'm not against hair transplants, so I. I made this comment earlier. I'm going straight to turkey. But nonetheless, you know, maybe I rock the baldy for a little beat.

D (7:13)

Yeah. Yeah.

E (7:14)

100.

D (7:15)

Yeah, it looks good. It looks really natural.

E (7:16)

And you know what? You look good with blue eyes. Maybe you should, like, permanently.

D (7:21)

The jokes actually on. Everybody listening. Because I've said it before and I've. I'll say it again. I naturally have blue eyes and I wear brown contacts.

E (7:35)

Yeah. Yeah.

D (7:36)

This is who I am.

E (7:37)

No, that makes sense because, you know, because that would be too much.

D (7:39)

Yes. Yeah. Can I just say shout out to Kat and Nico once again for killing it in our special effects?

E (7:45)

Yeah. 100%.

D (7:46)

You okay?

E (7:48)

These contacts are tough.

D (7:49)

You want to, like, blink a couple times?

E (7:51)

Yeah. Is it falling off this one right here in particular?

D (7:54)

No.

E (7:55)

Okay. I'm good.

D (7:56)

You're good.

E (7:57)

Good.

D (7:57)

You should try to blink more often. I feel like you're looking at me the whole time. It looks like it, huh? No, it has one eye going that way. The other one over here.

A (8:09)

Yeah.

D (8:09)

So shout out to Nico and Cat.

E (8:12)

Yeah.

D (8:12)

We'll put their Instagrams down below.

E (8:13)

We absolutely.

D (8:14)

They.

E (8:14)

They're the ones who are responsible for doing the Grinch makeup that we did last year. They did our.

D (8:19)

Yeah.

E (8:20)

And of course, we had to hit them up to do. Yeah.

D (8:22)

We saw him twice this month.

E (8:23)

Yeah.

D (8:24)

And not only that, but I love just being around them. They're great people. And I think that's why we keep doing it, because I like to be kicking it with them.

E (8:32)

We. When we had this idea, we were like, obviously, we're going to go all out with the makeup. Right. But you. You see Dr. Evil and you're like, it probably it's a bald cap, but this is done to perfection. This bald cap alone took almost two and a half hours to put on.

D (8:48)

Right.

E (8:49)

Sevas has full braids, and they were able to. Well, maybe not hide it, but yeah, yeah, continue. So they had to do a whole process in order to. To make this bald cab look as real as possible.

D (9:04)

I would just like you said. You would think something so simple. Just make me bald. Put on a scar.

E (9:09)

Right.

D (9:10)

Maybe some contact is something very fast or convenient. Yeah, but we were actually in the chair, Both of us. I thought I was gonna last a little longer than you.

E (9:21)

Whoa, Pause.

D (9:22)

But.

E (9:26)

That'S a. That's the third to last one. We get three more.

D (9:30)

Let's make them count. But we were actually sitting down for three hours.

E (9:35)

Yeah.

D (9:35)

Yeah. And we took the same amount of time.

E (9:37)

Worth it.

D (9:37)

But the only difference is, is that you actually. It's like you're actually bald. That's your head. Like, you move really well with your head.

E (9:44)

Yeah.

D (9:44)

With me, obviously, there's. There's stuff like. I didn't shave my head for this, so you did. Let me just show you guys.

E (9:51)

Oh, yeah, yeah. Show them, bro. It looks ginormous, Yo. Oh, is it peeling? No, I think.

D (10:05)

No, you're good.

E (10:05)

Yeah.

D (10:06)

Sorry to interrupt this awesome podcast, but thanks for SoFi for sponsoring this video.

E (10:11)

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D (10:16)

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E (10:16)

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E (10:22)

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D (10:33)

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E (10:35)

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D (10:46)

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E (10:47)

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E (10:54)

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E (11:09)

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D (11:09)

Just like that.

E (11:10)

That. We literally sent money to our Diaz and it hit before they finished voice noting us back. You know what I mean? They're like, much money in the bank.

D (11:17)

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E (11:18)

Much. Yeah, Much.

D (11:23)

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E (11:24)

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D (11:25)

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E (11:28)

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D (11:29)

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E (11:33)

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D (11:39)

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E (11:40)

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D (11:57)

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A (12:16)

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E (12:16)

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D (12:23)

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E (12:23)

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D (12:26)

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E (12:28)

Thank you, Sofi.

D (12:29)

No, you say three, two, one, then.

E (12:31)

We say two, three, one.

D (12:33)

Thank you, sofi.

A (12:35)

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B (12:49)

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D (13:37)

Yeah. So you see how like Megamind I look?

E (13:40)

Yeah, you look Megamind Y. Yeah.

D (13:41)

I look like the character Juggernaut from X Men.

E (13:45)

Yeah.

D (13:46)

Yeah. I also look like a dick.

E (13:49)

A very beautiful dick.

D (13:51)

Clean shaved.

E (13:53)

Mine is definitely more like. Yeah, well, I have really short hair right now, so all they had to do was fucking.

D (13:58)

Yeah.

E (13:59)

A little bit of suave and we're good to go.

D (14:03)

But it looks good on you, man.

E (14:04)

I'm not mad at it, bro.

D (14:05)

I'm not mad at it.

E (14:07)

I also have always wanted a like a scar on my face. Like it's kind of.

D (14:12)

You have it, bro. I might looks good.

E (14:14)

I might just tell him to keep it on.

D (14:15)

It looks good, brother.

E (14:17)

Yo, I gotta. I Got a business dinner after this. Imagine I just pull up straight up like this, like, you should.

D (14:22)

Bro, when are you ever gonna fucking do that?

E (14:25)

Never.

D (14:25)

It's like they ask the guy next to you that you're having dinner with. Hey, who's this guy you're having dinner with?

E (14:30)

Well, clearly it's Dr. Evil, you idiot.

D (14:34)

Dr. Evil. We're business partners, you know, like, that's sick. Obviously I'm having a business meeting with Dr. Evil. Yeah, dude, you'd be the only Dr. Evil in LA County. Right?

E (14:43)

I might want to, like, at least iron my shirt.

D (14:45)

At least iron your shirt. But you have to wear the fit.

E (14:48)

Gotta wear the fit.

D (14:49)

Because if you don't wear the fit, you literally look like. You look like an Aryan brother.

E (14:55)

An Aryan brother?

D (14:56)

Yeah.

E (14:56)

Can you show me who this is, Jess?

D (14:58)

Oh, you don't want to know. Brother. An Aryan brother.

E (15:05)

Oh, dude, what is that?

D (15:10)

Yeah, you do though. How you look at the. Like, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, like, bro, if you go to jail, you're not going with the Mexicans. You are going with the skinheads. The Aryan brothers.

E (15:23)

Is it because of my skin complexion?

D (15:25)

I don't know.

A (15:26)

I have.

D (15:26)

You know what it is? They made us more skin complexion. It's the blue eyes. Yeah, it's right now, your skin. I know you don't have like a goatee, but you're giving goatee vibes right now.

E (15:36)

You got it.

D (15:37)

Well, let me know. Merry Christmas, bro. Merry Christmas to everybody, by the way.

E (15:41)

Everybody.

D (15:42)

Baby, we rich. We re. We've reached Christmas.

E (15:44)

We reach.

D (15:45)

There's something so special in the air when it's just Christmas time. You know that, bro? Just not on the 101 or the 405. There is nothing in the air there. But it's just. It's just so special. You go to the mall, even though you hate. I hate going to the mall around this time, but it just still feels good.

E (15:58)

Are you still going to the mall or are you. Are you online shopping?

D (16:01)

75% was online shopping. Small business shopping.

E (16:04)

Yeah, like that, you know, shop small.

D (16:06)

Shop small. Yeah, stuff like that. I. I got that out the way. But no matter what you do in life, no matter how prepared you are, you always got to go to the mall for something.

E (16:15)

You gotta go to the mall. I love going to the mall for like one or two things, but I'm not doing all my Christmas shopping now. And let me refrain this qu. This statement. I don't love going to the mall on the weekends. After 5pm on the weekdays.

D (16:28)

Right.

E (16:28)

I like going to the mall at like, 10:00am on a Tuesday.

D (16:32)

Right. When they open that 11:00am on a Tuesday. Yes.

E (16:36)

You know what I mean?

D (16:37)

Yes.

E (16:37)

Yes. Let's cut the.

D (16:39)

Cut the shit. And then I just go wherever I need to go.

E (16:41)

You know, I. You know what I do? You know what I do? I just go wherever I need to go.

D (16:45)

Yeah. And that's it.

E (16:46)

That's all I do.

F (16:47)

Yeah.

D (16:47)

If I need a hat, I'm going to Lids, and then I'm going back to my car.

E (16:50)

No, what I do is I go to Lids and I get a hat, I go back to my car.

D (16:55)

You know, I'm an Aryan brother.

E (16:58)

You are an Aryan brother. I've been seeing these tiktoks about people making fun of contrarians. Do you know what a contrarian is? I just found this, like.

D (17:08)

Mr. Lea, please explain.

E (17:11)

A contrarian is somebody who always just has to contradict what you're saying because they're basically just so be, like, you'll.

D (17:17)

Be so you so.

E (17:19)

No, you no, you so it's like. It's like they'll like. Let's just say I'm venting to you, right? They'll be like, yeah, I can't stand this person. Right. They're always like, you know, they're always making fun of me for being bald. And it's like.

A (17:35)

Yeah.

E (17:35)

And then you go to me like, yeah. And like, you know, you like, that's so messed up. Like, you actually look pretty good bald. And then as the contrarian, I would be like, it's not even that. It's that they. They always say it in this tone. Oh, you get what I'm saying. It's like they always just have to contradict what you're saying and just don't know how to have, like, a conversation of how normal people have conversations.

D (17:55)

Got it. So basically a contrarian is like, what you just said.

E (18:01)

So basically.

D (18:02)

So instead, like, instead of, like, me talking is specifically about what you're doing, I try to rephrase it in a more nicer way. Or try to, like, flip it.

E (18:12)

No, it just has to, like, contradict. Like, they just can't. Can you? What does it mean, Jess?

C (18:20)

Yeah, it's a person who opposes or rejects the popular opinion or current practice.

D (18:25)

Yeah.

C (18:25)

Right.

D (18:26)

So, by the way, Jess has a scar on her face. Number two, Mr. Bagelsworth. You look good with a scar, Jess.

C (18:38)

Thank you.

E (18:39)

That's kind of.

D (18:39)

You look like a cartel leader's daughter.

E (18:41)

Yeah.

D (18:42)

Yeah, Right? Yeah. Me, papa. I Was in the crossfire. Me, Papa.

E (18:49)

Anyways, not that.

D (18:50)

Just funny.

E (18:51)

But.

D (18:54)

She acts different with a scar on.

E (18:55)

She don't laugh. She laughed.

D (18:57)

Why is my head so big? Why is my head so big?

E (19:04)

Anyways, Contrarian.

D (19:05)

Yeah, I like that. That's cool. I mean, there's a lot of people like that I don't contradict.

E (19:09)

You ever had a conversation with somebody like that, though? It's so annoying.

D (19:12)

Yeah. It goes nowhere.

E (19:13)

You're like, okay, bro.

D (19:14)

Yeah, it goes nowhere, dude.

E (19:15)

All right, look, Anyways, we're taking shots. Okay.

D (19:18)

Okay.

E (19:18)

Yeah. Episode of the year in real time. Real life. That's why I got mixed up earlier. This is our last episode that we're filming for the year, and we want to celebrate by taking some celebratory shots to. Your eyes are so fucking piercing. I'm not. It's kind of intimidating.

D (19:39)

Wow.

E (19:39)

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

D (19:41)

Nobody in my life has ever told me something like that before. Like, wow, your eyes are so striking. Yeah.

E (19:46)

Yeah.

D (19:47)

You're the first person who's ever told me that, and it makes me feel some sort of way.

E (19:51)

Anyways, you're just breaked up right now.

D (19:57)

Hard.

E (19:59)

No, I. Look, this year has been incredible. We already. I feel like we've said thank you every single episode, but honestly, thank you. We got some shots lined up just to, you know, send off the year in appropriate manner.

D (20:12)

I like that. I like that, and I agree with you. Out of this whole year, we. We have to give ourselves a pat on the back, you know, with everything we've done. And the shot for you guys, too. And so if you're waking up and you're watching this episode, man, take a shot with us. And if somebody says, hey, why is it seven in the morning? You're taking a show? Well, it's because we said so and because Dr. Evil said so.

E (20:36)

I like these chairs, by the way. These are, like, way more comfortable than our old chairs.

D (20:39)

They are, huh? Looky. They're, like, more freely.

E (20:41)

All right, let's take these shots.

D (20:42)

Body.

E (20:43)

Yeah.

D (20:43)

And, like, I'm not really drinking right now, but. You're right, man. Last for us, this is the last episode of the year. Like, we're not coming back to the studio.

E (20:51)

Can you just hand it over?

D (20:52)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like. Like, we're not coming back to the studio, so. Yeah, I would like a shot as well. Yeah, let's just. Because this is, like, a celebratory shot. This is a celebratory shot. I like that. Thank you. Josh Leyva, aka Mr. Bigglesworth.

E (21:11)

Do a.

D (21:11)

Little toast in Dr. Evil Voice or no.

E (21:17)

Yeah.

D (21:18)

Yeah. Well, first I want to give it up to everybody that's back at home, your little evil self and, you know, give you a huge. Dr. Evil normally doesn't say this, but give you a thanks. It's too Grinch.

A (21:36)

No, but you.

E (21:37)

You got there.

D (21:37)

Okay.

E (21:38)

No, you went there. You were good. Yeah, you were good.

D (21:41)

So, you know, I also want to thank Michael. Michael Myers.

E (21:48)

Mike.

D (21:49)

Mike Myers, which I'm assuming his name is also Michael.

E (21:52)

Michael.

D (21:54)

For making such an amazing movie. And Matthew, shut the up, man. Don't you see that? I'm making a toast. I want to thank everybody in this room for making la platica possible. And I also want to thank our friends and family for putting up with us.

E (22:17)

There it is.

D (22:18)

Continuously.

E (22:22)

Salute, guys. Thank you guys for an incredible year. Merry Christmas. Love you guys.

D (22:25)

Yeah.

E (22:26)

Familia. We love you. We appreciate you. Thank you for everything, and Merry Christmas to you.

D (22:30)

Merry Christmas, Josh. Merry Christmas.

C (22:32)

Yes.

D (22:33)

Number two. Here we go. What? Tequila.

E (22:38)

That's actually pretty good.

D (22:40)

Wow. One.

E (22:45)

One shot of tequila won't hurt you, right?

C (22:49)

You want. You want another one?

E (22:50)

Yeah. No, it won't. Can I talk about you?

D (22:55)

She has a scar. Dude, you have to use air quip.

C (22:58)

Allegedly.

E (23:00)

Have I talked about how my brother uses air quotes like this? Like, that's so weird. I'm like, dude, that's not. It's this. Anyways, Jessica, you brought up some points so we can continue to talk about the contrarian conversation. Because I feel like maybe I didn't articulate in a way that, you know, got through Sevas's mind, which is kind of hard to believe. Believe it or not. Look at this dome. This mind.

D (23:24)

Continue.

E (23:25)

Okay, Jeff, so what's up? Talk to me, girl.

C (23:28)

So imagine that a contrarian person would. This is kind of like an interaction that would happen, right? Someone would say, I thought that actually the movie was really good. A contrarian might be like, actually, it wasn't. The pacing was slow. The plot didn't make sense. Like, you know, and. And one thing is too. Maybe this is.

E (23:46)

Have an opinion.

C (23:46)

Yes, exactly.

D (23:47)

Right.

C (23:47)

But if this is how they always are.

D (23:49)

Yeah.

C (23:49)

Another one could be like, oh, my gosh, this restaurant has the best tacos. A contrarian will be like, ah, they're overrated.

D (23:54)

Yeah.

E (23:55)

There's a hole in the wall, like, Jess's point. And I really want to reiterate this. It's not about having an opinion. It's like, this is your character. This is who you are.

D (24:03)

A contrarian.

E (24:04)

A contrarian. Yeah.

C (24:06)

I'm so excited for my trip. Traveling is so annoying.

E (24:09)

Yeah.

C (24:09)

Airports are the worst.

E (24:10)

Like, oh, bro, I can't. I can't talk to people like that. You know how you've been talking about, like, being more selective with the people in your, like, life? If I come across anybody like that, I want them as far away from me as possible. You know what I mean? Because I don't, like, I don't need everybody to be, like, positive around me all the time, but I need everybody to be around me positive all the time.

D (24:28)

Guys, comment on the comments down below. Like, and tag your contrarian dude that, you know.

E (24:32)

Yeah, tag them out.

D (24:34)

Do something evil.

E (24:40)

Your belly sticks out more than your chest.

D (24:44)

Yeah, no, I didn't know that was a thing. I just, like, negative.

E (24:49)

Yeah, well, yeah.

D (24:52)

Yeah.

E (24:53)

Okay, cool. So now that we've established that. Yeah, let's do the chat. GPT chat.

D (25:00)

Oh, you want to talk about the chat chat. GPT thing?

E (25:03)

Yeah.

D (25:04)

Okay, let's do it. Okay, but when you. Are we gonna speak to chat?

E (25:07)

Well, there's a whole.

D (25:09)

Yes, speak, and when we speak, we do the Dr. Evil voice. Yes, let's do it.

E (25:15)

Well, we're going to ask chat. Because the way chat works is, like, it collects all your data and information and everything you've talked to it. Like, it keeps it.

D (25:22)

Right.

E (25:22)

So throughout the year, you've asked us some pretty crazy things. We're going to ask your personal chat, and I'm going to ask my personal chat. What is the most ridiculous thing we've asked them all year. So pull out your phone. So sometimes I feel like I talk to you, and you have no idea what I'm saying.

D (25:40)

You know what it is this. Like, I am so used to talking to you. You're probably the most person I talk to.

E (25:47)

Okay.

D (25:48)

Other than my wife. Huh. Sometimes just things go through one ear, out the other. Because just like my wife, you're like.

E (25:54)

I don't listen to you. I only talk to you.

D (25:57)

Do things just go through one ear and out the other? Yeah, dude. I'm just used to it. Just used to you. I was like, what? You're also. Your eyes are very striking.

E (26:06)

Well, thank you.

D (26:07)

Yeah. Okay, so go to chat.

E (26:08)

Go to chat.

D (26:12)

Yeah.

E (26:12)

It's a question. Ask Chad. GPT. The most ridiculous question you've asked it all year. Talk to Charles.

D (26:17)

Got it.

C (26:18)

What's the most ridiculous?

E (26:19)

Yeah, what's the most ridiculous.

D (26:21)

Charles, how are you?

F (26:24)

Hey, Sebastian. I'm doing great. Thanks for asking. Always nice to Hear your voice. How's your day going so far?

D (26:31)

Very good. We actually. Me and my partner Josh, you know him, we dressed up as Dr. Evil.

F (26:44)

Oh, that's awesome. I can totally picture you two putting off a pretty hilarious Dr. Evil vibe. I bet you had a blast. Any mini Mr. Bigglesworth cat props involved or just the iconic bald look?

D (26:56)

The iconic bald look. Don't mind my accent right now, Charles, but I had a question. My question. My question to you is, what is the most ridiculous, ridiculous thing I asked you this year?

F (27:17)

Well, that's a fun one. You've definitely had your share of hilarious and wild requests. I think one of the most delightfully ridiculous ones was when you wanted me to turn you into a kind of half arcade, half superhero character with a full anime vibe, all to invite your friends to a cycling event that was pretty epic and definitely on the ridiculous but awesome scale. So you kept it entertaining all year.

E (27:40)

Ask it to pull it up so we can use it as a reference.

D (27:43)

Would you mind pulling up that design that I asked for, if that is possible?

F (27:52)

It looks like I can't put it up directly from any stored designs right now, but no worries. If you have that image or any reference handy, feel free to upload it here, and we can definitely use it as a reference.

D (28:02)

Charles, I appreciate you.

F (28:06)

Absolutely. Sebastian, you know I've got you back anytime. I appreciate you too.

D (28:10)

And from now on, you are referred to as number two.

F (28:21)

Got it. Number two, reporting for gt. If there's anything else you need, just say the word.

E (28:32)

Dude, you're so good at this character, bro.

D (28:35)

You think so?

E (28:36)

You're so good.

D (28:37)

I like awesome powers. Do the. Throw me a freaking bone. Oh, yeah. Throw me a freaking bone, Scott. All right.

E (28:45)

Am I asking Chad GBT now?

D (28:47)

Yeah, yeah.

E (28:48)

You. You.

D (28:48)

You. Was that kind of ridiculous that I did that?

E (28:51)

No, that was, like, kind of a lame answer. Honestly, it was fun.

D (28:54)

It was cycling. It was like a kid answer.

E (28:56)

Yeah, yeah, you. You should have been more like you should have been.

D (28:59)

Well, what do you expect me to ask it?

E (29:01)

No, I feel like Chat was playing it safe. That's what I think. I don't think it was you. I think it was like how Chat played it.

D (29:07)

What do you think I'm asking Chat, what do you think?

E (29:12)

I'm asking so much. I'm almost nervous to do this. That's how I asked Chat.

D (29:19)

Dude. I already know I was gonna say some, like, why does my dick itch?

E (29:28)

Hey, yo, Chat.

D (29:28)

Why is my dick so itchy? What's the process of Bleaching my. I'm super interested. Should I keep going?

E (29:40)

No, please stop.

D (29:43)

Right.

E (29:45)

Hello, Chat, it is. I talk to Evil. Why am I British? So, currently recording a podcast right now, and I have a fun, interesting question for you, if you may.

F (30:03)

Ah, Dr.

B (30:04)

Evil.

F (30:05)

What a delightfully mischievous presence. Fire away with your intriguing question. I'm all ears, though. No sharks with laser beams involved, I hope.

E (30:13)

Well, no promises. Anyway, question. We've had an incredible year. Would you say. Don't answer that. What would you say is the most ridiculous question I've asked you all year?

D (30:33)

Chat. Chat.

F (30:37)

Oh, hands down, it was when you asked if damp socks were bad, followed by a quest for the best Amazon socks for both style and training. I mean, even Dr. Evil needs a comfort soak game, right?

E (30:49)

You son of a bitch. Son of a. We were just talking about this at boxing, okay? There's a story behind this, okay?

D (31:00)

Freaking loser, dude. Are you kidding me?

E (31:06)

Hold on, hold on.

D (31:07)

What a freaking loser.

E (31:10)

All right, you Chat.

D (31:13)

Okay, look, look. Oh, now you're going to explain yourself to.

E (31:19)

I have to. I have to.

D (31:20)

You ask Chat. GPT if damp socks are bad, Obviously, you nimwack. Okay. Whoa. My socks are damp. Chat. About to put on these damp ass socks.

E (31:39)

Is it bad?

D (31:41)

You're a moron, bro. Are you stupid? I don't understand.

E (31:47)

Do you want to hear the full.

D (31:48)

Story you told me? And now it's funnier that you had to ask Chat if that was a bad thing that occurred. No, Scott, hold on. Are you stupid?

E (31:59)

Hold on. Okay, okay. Totally.

D (32:02)

What a nerd.

E (32:03)

Totally fair. I get it, okay? I get it. All right, look, I'm going to admit something. I'm going to be so, like, vulnerable right now. I asked Chat for everything. I helped me out for everything.

D (32:13)

So Chat, how many times should I shake my after pissing? What?

E (32:19)

Bro, that's a good question for Chad, though.

D (32:22)

Valid.

E (32:23)

All right, look, look, look, look, look, look, look. Can I tell my story? Can I tell my story? I'm gonna make it quick. I'm gonna make it quick. I use a laundry service, okay? And the laundry service did me dirty, right? They returned my clothes ironically. Ironically. They did me dirty and they returned my socks damped. All the socks that I had were damp. Only your socks, bro. Just my socks, okay? So I was like, bro, I've been using this service for years, right? Years. So I was like, damn, this sucks, bro. Like, I use this service because I want to make my life easier. You just. You guys just made it harder, right? So I was like, chat, I want to write a message to this company. I don't want to call them out because I don't want to, like, expose them like that. But I was like, can you help me write a message? As I was folding my clothes, Chat was writing the message for me so I can copy and paste and send it to the company. Got it. So then I was like, am I making this a big deal? Are our damn socks, like, bad? Like, are they going to cause, like, fungus in my feet or some shit, bro? Because I was like, man, whatever. I'm just going to, like, keep. Yeah, whatever. And then. And then Chad was like, yeah, my father. Bad. It's bad. But it's a fair question, bro.

D (33:35)

You never thought to take your damn sock and put it in your own dryer.

E (33:41)

But that defeats the purpose of having a laundry service. I get it. Yes, sure, of course. And I didn't do that. I just. So they weren't all damp. They were like. They were, like, 60% damped enough to be, like, bothered.

D (33:52)

Right? So those.

E (33:53)

I just kind of.

D (33:53)

They're more than 50. They're wet, huh?

E (33:56)

Yeah. What? What? No, they were damp. They almost felt like. Almost. I couldn't tell if they were. You know, when something's damaged, almost. Is it cold or is it wet? Like, I can't tell, you know? Is that a thing about being three.

D (34:06)

Hours later, Josh just walks out and gets his trash cans with flip flops.

E (34:11)

What? Wait, what the fuck did you say? You just said the most normal sentence ever and you thought it was hilarious. Josh just walks out his ribs on stick on the trash.

D (34:32)

I do that all the time.

E (34:34)

Yeah.

D (34:34)

Oh, you do.

E (34:39)

Not do that, dude.

D (34:40)

You got damp socks, right? Damp socks.

E (34:43)

Yeah.

D (34:44)

Instead of just like, oh, I should call him and let them know that, you know, you had to confirm with Chat first what a freaking idiot I was.

E (34:52)

Chad did me dirty. I'm telling you, bro. Look, I. It was like I was folding my clothes because, you know, you get your bag of clothes, it's all ready to be packed, right? So I've been trying to, like, just pack it immediately. So as I was, like, packing my clothes, I was like, chat, help me write a message to these fools.

D (35:06)

And what did Chad say?

E (35:07)

Chad was like, just like, josh, Chat.

D (35:11)

Is having damn socks bad. Chad goes, yeah, no, dude.

E (35:21)

Dude, yeah.

D (35:23)

No, dude.

E (35:24)

All right, look. Now I want you to. Now I want you to get more personal with it. Ask it like. No, on a more of a personal level. What's the most ridiculous thing I've asked you?

D (35:31)

Okay. You act like I talk about like, yo, man, I'm over here stroking my dog. Like, what? I don't talk like that. A Chat, bro.

E (35:43)

Is it bad to take out the trash and flip flops?

D (35:48)

Isn't that funny, Chad? On a more personal level, yeah. Number Two, how are you?

F (36:02)

Hey, I'm doing great. And don't worry, I can definitely roll with a new name. So number two is ready whenever you are.

D (36:10)

On a more personal level, Number two, what is the most ridiculous thing I've ever asked you? But this is on a personal. Ridiculously. Ridiculously. I forgot what I was going to tell you. Ridiculous. What is the most ridiculously thing I've ever asked you on a super personal, personal level, Number Two?

F (36:39)

Oh, I totally get what you're asking. And. And no worries at all. I think on a super personal and delightfully ridiculous level, it might have been when you asked me for a funny rhyming elf name that had to sound like a cholo.

E (36:51)

Yours are so whack, bro.

D (36:54)

Thank you, Number two.

E (36:55)

Cholo elf name.

D (36:57)

I'm sorry, bro. I don't talk to Chat like I talk to Jesus Christ, man. You over here. Pray to Chad too.

E (37:08)

Yo, Chat, help me write a prayer to Jesus.

D (37:13)

Yo, Chat, Why is yolk yellow?

E (37:17)

Yo, that's the kind of shit I'd be asking Chat. I literally just talked to it like, yo, I want to know some. Like, tell me something.

D (37:23)

Chat, it's me again. It is day three of an ishy dick. What can I do?

E (37:32)

Are we good?

D (37:34)

Are we good? Dude? Imagine continuously having an itchy dick who made the word itchy? Because the word itchy is already super itchy.

E (37:46)

It sounds.

D (37:47)

It makes me itchy to say itchy.

E (37:49)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's certain things that, like, I'm like, damn, they ate when they came up with that. Like when people. I saw this tick tock where this guy was like, the person who came up with, like, the words for numbers. Like, the number one. Like, it just feels like one.

D (38:02)

It does. Yeah, it does. It does. It does.

E (38:04)

There's certain things that just like, you're like, yeah, that, like, makes sense.

D (38:06)

Yeah. Well, I like that. I like asking Chat for personal stuff. Blink G, blink. You can do it, dude.

E (38:13)

It's just this eye.

D (38:16)

Keep looking at me.

E (38:17)

I mean.

D (38:18)

I mean, it's a little watery, dude.

E (38:21)

Is it red?

D (38:22)

It's pretty infected, dude.

E (38:23)

Yeah, it's pretty. Is it red? So it's more than red, bro. You're like maroon on the inside.

D (38:34)

It's maroon. Damn. Maroon is literally the Color. That's after red. Low key. Yeah, it's red. And then what's more redder than red is maroon, you moron.

E (38:45)

It's almost like saying more red, but they were like, we can't call it more red. Oh, that's more room, bro. More room.

D (38:52)

Maybe the word rune comes from ancient mythology, which is red, which is probably means red.

E (38:57)

This is more.

D (38:58)

Yeah, chat. Why is my dick turning into the color rune?

E (39:06)

Actually, it's getting more room and more room and more room.

D (39:13)

Sorry. I know you guys are watching this probably, like around Christmas time, so we apologize because this is not the Christmas type of, you know, vibe. Yeah, right.

E (39:25)

We're gonna do an evil versus evil.

D (39:28)

What was that?

E (39:29)

We're gonna play a game, okay. And the game is called Evil vs Evil.

D (39:33)

Sounds ridiculously. Ridiculously.

E (39:37)

What did I say?

C (39:37)

Evil vs Evil.

E (39:40)

It's called Evil vs Not.

D (39:42)

Yeah, we're gonna play a game called Evil vs Not Evil. Right. Jessica has queued up for us.

E (39:47)

Queued up.

D (39:47)

Thank you, Jessica. Jessica, if that is your real name. All right, let's do it.

C (39:56)

All right, so for this segment, I prepared situations that you guys are going to rate as evil or not evil. Pretty straightforward.

E (40:06)

Not evil.

C (40:07)

For example, not replacing the toilet paper roll when you use the last of it. Is that evil or is it not evil?

D (40:18)

I tend to do that all the time. Right.

E (40:25)

Yeah. I don't see the evilness in that at all.

D (40:28)

Yeah. It's not hard to pick up another role and put it in yourself. Rude.

E (40:34)

Put it in yourself.

D (40:35)

Yeah, no, honestly, that's up. I think it's etiquette that. You know what I mean? Yeah. And especially, like, I don't like to be the type of guy, you know, like, when you get to the last sheets. Huh. It starts to get really, like, scrapy, those sheets, because, like, the glue sticks to the roll.

E (40:59)

Okay.

D (40:59)

And, like, one time I got the last two sheets on that roll and. And, like, you know how they're kind of, like, clawed in? I had a go like this to my finger, bro. I fingered myself and it wasn't a solid poop. It was a wet one and immediately got wet. Immediately evil. Very evil.

E (41:25)

What immediately got wet? Your finger?

D (41:27)

Yeah, because it wasn't like, a solid one.

E (41:30)

I got newspaper. That's crazy, bro. That's crazy.

D (41:35)

Yeah. So what I'm trying to say is.

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D (42:38)

Switch the toilet paper like ten sheets before that. You know what I mean?

E (42:44)

No, you can run it out.

D (42:45)

Not the last couple. Yeah.

E (42:47)

When you're in the last couple, three, four.

D (42:50)

You're playing it safe. So. Yeah.

E (42:52)

You're playing a dangerous game.

D (42:53)

Yeah. But you should. You should change the role when there's like, at least you know that there's like 10 sheets left.

E (42:57)

Yeah.

D (42:58)

They'll make the other person. Because what happens is there's 10 sheets left or maybe eight. And then, you know, the first thing you do is sit down and do your thing. Right.

E (43:07)

Right.

D (43:07)

The last thing that you do is check if there's toilet paper. And then you look at that roll and there's like, that look kind of like flakito. You're like, oh, there's no toilet paper.

E (43:19)

Yeah, yeah.

D (43:20)

Let's not scare people.

E (43:21)

You said the covers, like, with your pants down.

D (43:25)

Dude. You know how many times it's happened to me where I. In my bathroom where, like, I run out of toilet paper and I have to run butt, ass naked, kind of bent over because I feel like if I stand straight, my cheeks clench and like, just poop rubs.

E (43:39)

Poops rubs.

D (43:41)

You know what I mean? I've done it before. So.

C (43:43)

Yeah.

D (43:43)

Evil.

E (43:43)

Good for you, bro. Good for you.

D (43:45)

Thanks, man.

C (43:47)

Taking up two parking spots. So no one scratches your car. Is that evil or not evil?

E (43:56)

It depends. It depends if. If we're dep. It depends.

D (44:01)

Right?

E (44:01)

Like, if you're at a parking structure and there's plenty of parking, like, you talking like a.

D (44:05)

Like a vast. Like a vast majority. Yeah, like, like, like there's a vast amount.

E (44:11)

Yeah, sure.

D (44:13)

Do whatever you want. Nobody should be bitching at you.

E (44:14)

Right.

D (44:15)

Especially if you park far.

E (44:16)

Right. Especially if you park far.

D (44:17)

Yeah. If you want to take two. And there's like nobody around you for like. And there's like freaking 30 parking spots around you. Nobody should be tripping. Should you do it? I don't think you should do it, but I'm not tripping. Especially if it's a nice car because I get it.

E (44:32)

Yeah, right.

D (44:33)

Well, I don't get it for myself, so, like, I get it. It's a lot of money, you know, I believe we're ready for the next one.

C (44:43)

Okay, so Evil or not evil.

E (44:45)

Okay.

C (44:46)

Cutting your co host off to talk about your own brand.

E (44:49)

Oh, that. You do that all the time.

D (44:52)

Can you say that one more time.

E (44:54)

A lot slower, please?

D (44:56)

A lot slower and more clearly. I wasn't joking, Jessica.

C (45:05)

I apologize, sir. Wait, you were evil or not evil cutting off your co host Sebastian, to talk about your own brand? Taste Salute.

E (45:15)

Oh, now it's specific. Now we adding to it.

D (45:21)

You know what, Josh? I don't mind. I am a big fan. One of the biggest fans of Salute.

E (45:29)

So you don't mind?

D (45:32)

I don't mind.

E (45:35)

I'm sorry.

D (45:36)

Don't be sorry to me. I don't mind. That's not evil.

E (45:41)

Not evil.

D (45:41)

That's my friend really being friendly. I'm proud of his brand.

E (45:45)

Thank you, bro.

D (45:46)

With his piercing eyes. Dashing eyes, itchy dick and wet socks. Damp. God, you know what? Is it me or are these socks damp? Is that what you said at home?

E (46:07)

I did. I was like, yo, these damp? They're really cold. Yeah, really cold.

D (46:11)

Mo, come here. Yeah, babe, hold my sock. Are these damp or not? They are, right? Would you say 60%?

E (46:23)

60% of the bunch, bro. 60%?

D (46:29)

I thought you meant 60% down.

E (46:32)

60% of my socks were down.

D (46:34)

Someone's fucking with you, bro. Wherever you're like taking them. And that is the real Dr. Evil who works over there, you know?

E (46:44)

Yeah.

D (46:44)

You know, yeah. Not evil, though. Never mind. I never mind it.

E (46:48)

Thank you, sir.

D (46:49)

Yeah, of course.

E (46:49)

I don't mean to cut you off, by the way. If I do that, I'm really sorry. I think cutting you off is rude. Regardless of what I'm talking, I believe.

D (46:54)

That you never did. That is just something that was made up probably. Yeah.

C (46:59)

Evil or not evil, letting your friend.

E (47:05)

Coming after me. Jess, you're coming after me.

C (47:07)

No. Letting your friend run out of gas.

D (47:13)

Okay. Yeah.

E (47:14)

Super evil.

D (47:16)

Evil. The first time I regret it till this day, you know.

E (47:23)

I don't regret it. You know why? Because it has become such a big part of our brand.

D (47:28)

Sure.

E (47:28)

And we've been able to, like, monetize off of it on our podcast and on our live show.

D (47:34)

Yeah.

E (47:35)

Because we talk about it all the time. Yeah. So it worked out in our favor.

D (47:37)

First time I did feel bad. I'm like, man, you know what? I should have just fucking went.

E (47:42)

Yeah.

D (47:43)

Because now I'm evil. But you fucking did it again, idiot.

E (47:49)

I did.

D (47:50)

Now nobody feels bad for you.

E (47:51)

I did. I did.

D (47:52)

And I helped you out.

E (47:53)

You did, you did. You.

D (47:54)

So, yeah, it was evil on my part. I didn't do it the first time.

E (47:57)

I was joking about, like, the whole. Well, I wasn't completely, but, like, monetizing it, you know, because we made the most out of it. But I will say, like, on a. On a deeper level, I feel like it bonded us.

D (48:08)

Right.

E (48:09)

Because I think they, like, we, like, opened up and we did it, like, publicly.

D (48:12)

Right.

E (48:12)

So to say. And we went through our whole little, like, scandal on, like, tick tock and people talking shit and stuff like that.

D (48:18)

Yeah. But we were never mad at each other. No, no, no, no, no. Even when you said it.

E (48:22)

But we went through something. I feel like when people go through things together, they come out stronger. And it wasn't even against us. You're right. But I'm saying, like, we went through it together.

D (48:30)

Yeah.

E (48:30)

Yeah.

D (48:31)

From what people made up.

E (48:32)

Yeah. This was two years ago now, right?

D (48:34)

Something like that.

E (48:35)

Right.

C (48:35)

Almost.

E (48:36)

Almost two years. A year and a half.

D (48:37)

Even though I feel like, for those.

E (48:39)

Who don't remember, I ran out of gas. If I was a terrible friend, didn't help me out. Yeah. Just.

D (48:44)

And he mentioned it on our. On the podcast.

E (48:46)

Yeah.

D (48:46)

And people took that, ran with it. They made a TikTok. And then I was called a lot of names, but one that I was Never called was Dr.

E (48:58)

Evil.

D (49:02)

Dr. Big Head.

E (49:03)

Dr. Dr. Dr. Jig Head.

D (49:08)

Yeah. I feel like even around that situation, around that problem that we, I guess had, you were more worried about me than I was worried about the situation. You're like, are you all right, man? Yeah.

E (49:20)

Because I didn't like that. I didn't like that. We were playing a game, dude. We're podcasting. We're trying to make a moment.

D (49:26)

Yeah.

E (49:26)

And I was never.

D (49:27)

That wasn't this year. No.

E (49:28)

That's what I'm saying. That was 2000. It was 2024.

C (49:32)

Yes.

D (49:33)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

E (49:34)

It was last year. Yeah, it was last year.

D (49:37)

Yeah. It was evil, but then turned out to be not evil.

C (49:44)

All right, evil or not evil, eating stinky food mid flight.

D (49:49)

O.

E (49:49)

Like, you bring in your own food. Like Panda Express or something.

D (49:53)

Y I. With Panda Express. If someone's bringing Panda Express on the flight, it's just making me hungry. But we talking more like hardboiled eggs.

E (49:59)

No, Panda Express can be stinky too, bro.

D (50:01)

You more like hard boiled eggs, right?

C (50:03)

Yeah.

D (50:03)

Yeah. Damn socks.

C (50:05)

Fish.

E (50:06)

Oh, that's crazy.

D (50:06)

Yeah, fish. I don't know who the would bring fish, but people bring hard boiled eggs, you know?

E (50:10)

Yeah.

D (50:12)

I don't think it's evil. I understand. Because a lot of people try to eat healthy, so just eat it fast. Swallow them.

E (50:17)

That's true, though.

D (50:17)

Swallow them.

E (50:18)

Yeah, yeah.

D (50:19)

Because once you cut into the yolk, that's what smells. Because the egg white doesn't smell. It's the yolk.

E (50:25)

I feel like it. It does suck and it is stinky and stuff, but, like, if people got it like that, that's the way they got to eat, you know?

D (50:33)

Yeah.

E (50:33)

And also the smell goes away, right? It doesn't say forever.

D (50:36)

I know it doesn't. Yeah.

E (50:37)

It's not like damn socks.

D (50:38)

Yeah.

E (50:39)

That lingers.

D (50:40)

Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever been on a flight and for some reason, I don't know if elevation does this, but it makes you kind of gassy or I don't know if it's airplane food in general or maybe a mix of both, but. I'm ripping farts, bro. And like, when. When you're surrounded by like 50, 60 people on a flight and you're ripping them, it's anyone's game. Not me. That wasn't me. That. You know, that smell lingers pretty quick. And I think you can. I think you can get away with, you know, a challenge. A couple. You know what I mean?

E (51:22)

Are you. You blaming other people?

D (51:23)

I'm not blaming nobody, but nobody ever asked me, was that you? Because it can be anybody.

E (51:28)

That's true.

D (51:29)

You know what I mean?

E (51:30)

That's true.

D (51:30)

You don't get gassy, or is that just me?

E (51:32)

I haven't noticed, like, that. I've gotten more.

D (51:33)

Again. No, Like, I'm not really a farter.

E (51:36)

Really, I'm not.

D (51:37)

I promise you.

E (51:38)

I believe you.

D (51:40)

I'm looking at you and your eyes burning. You're like, really?

E (51:45)

My left eye is burning like crazy. I need these contacts off.

D (51:50)

Yeah. You know, mine aren't burning, but I. It's. Things are blurry.

E (51:54)

Yeah.

D (51:54)

Yeah. Anyway, so I'm not a farter, I promise. But on the flight, I get like, those farts that I'm like, whoa, I don't fart like this. Yeah.

C (52:08)

Funny you should mention that.

D (52:09)

You farted Too right. You're a farter on the flight.

C (52:13)

I can neither confirm nor deny. However, Google says flying in airplanes does indeed make more people gassier.

D (52:20)

Super gassy and more bloated.

C (52:23)

The lower cabin pressure causes gas in your gut to expand, and reduced oxygen and dehydration slow digestion. So you create trap gas.

D (52:34)

Yeah, bro.

E (52:35)

Damn.

D (52:35)

No, Like, I'm like.

E (52:36)

So this is science.

D (52:37)

Like, you would think I have a trumpet in my ass. It look like the king is coming.

E (52:46)

Wasn't me.

D (52:49)

You know what I mean? Like, you're like, damn, I can fart like this. Holy. Shout out to Delta.

E (52:55)

All right, we got another one, Jess.

C (52:57)

Yeah, we got. We got plenty. Pretending evil or not evil. Pretending you didn't see someone's blinker so you don't let them.

E (53:04)

That's evil, man. I. I can't stand mean drivers and evil. There's evil drivers out there. People are like, road rage is a real thing.

D (53:12)

Yeah.

E (53:13)

And I just hate when people are mean. Like, if I'm try. Like, people are trying to merge in. I get it. There's a system, right? Like, one merges in, then you pass, and it's like, you take turns. There's like a turn situation. Right? Like, everyone takes their turn. Do you understand what I'm saying right now?

D (53:26)

Yeah. Everyone takes turns.

E (53:27)

Your face is blank, Dr.

D (53:29)

Evil.

E (53:31)

And I feel like. I feel like when people are, like, just mean and they're intentionally mean, that's evil. Yeah.

D (53:37)

Yeah.

E (53:37)

Because you can. I can cause an accident, and what it's doing is just causing more traffic. There's a system in place that is effective. It's like airplanes. When everybody, like, tries to get up and rush to the middle, it just clogs the whole situation out.

D (53:49)

Yeah.

E (53:50)

But if everybody would just to kind of wait their turn, it'll be a lot more efficient.

D (53:53)

Yeah. People who have road rage, I feel like in their head, their mentality is, I'm running the show in this freeway. This is my freeway.

E (54:02)

Yeah.

D (54:02)

You know, you bow down to me and my vehicle. I think those are the people who have road rage. And I'm like, bro, everyone's driving here. We're all trying to get the same destination. And I don't have road rage. Because, like, even if someone does do a mistake, I just took off my contact.

E (54:15)

I couldn't do it.

D (54:16)

Yeah, that's. Bro, I couldn't do it.

C (54:17)

Is it both, or is this the one?

E (54:18)

No, they both came out. So for those of you guys who don't know, I wear contacts, and I'm wearing.

D (54:22)

Oh, that's why they're irritating.

E (54:24)

No, but this one is perfectly fine. This one's perfectly fine.

A (54:26)

Yeah.

D (54:26)

Well, this doesn't mean that the other one has to be perfectly fine.

E (54:29)

No, but you're saying that the reason that they're irritated is because of my contact.

D (54:32)

But yeah.

E (54:33)

No. So not just. I just disassembled your argument.

D (54:35)

You're contrarian. No, but you're saying that you're. Both eyes are identical. Therefore, if one doesn't happen to one, the other one won't get it either.

E (54:42)

Both of my eyes.

D (54:44)

Yeah, they are.

E (54:45)

That have its same vision. Yeah, but size wise, this is the definition of contrarian. You realize that, right? You're doing.

D (54:51)

No, I'm not.

E (54:52)

Yeah, you are.

A (54:53)

I'm not.

E (54:53)

Yeah, you are.

D (54:54)

I'm creating a bit difference. Comedic.

E (54:56)

Jess, can you. Somebody help me get a. Can we get the. They have, like, little cups, bro.

B (55:00)

And then.

E (55:00)

Yeah.

D (55:01)

Someone give me a paper towel.

E (55:04)

Matt just wants to talk in Dr. Evil.

C (55:08)

Put him in a wig cap, too.

D (55:10)

Yeah, dude, go get the bald cap. Go put on the bald cap.

C (55:14)

Thank you, bro.

D (55:14)

I appreciate. Yeah. Our costumes came with bald caps. We're going to allow Matt to. Yeah.

E (55:19)

This feels so much better.

D (55:20)

Yeah, I'm glad you look cool like that.

E (55:23)

It's kind of cool, huh, bro?

D (55:24)

It's like one side of you. It's like.

E (55:26)

Yeah, Matt, put it on, bro.

D (55:28)

Take off your hat that people see. All right. You're like a ball sack.

E (55:37)

I am too evil.

D (55:40)

Okay. Don't you just want to itch that part right there.

E (55:45)

You know what I mean?

D (55:45)

This is Josh.

E (55:46)

He's like, hey, making fun of me, dude.

D (55:51)

You good, bro?

E (55:52)

Go ahead, say something.

D (55:54)

Oh, no, I was just saying. Yeah, it's evil if you act like that. You know what I mean? Like, especially pretending you. You didn't see someone. That's crazy. Like, what's up your butt? You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

E (56:09)

Yeah, that's evil, man. Don't do that. I'm doing that.

D (56:12)

Yeah. Road rage is crazy, bro. Those people actually, like, have road rage. Road rage. And, like, there's some states that are. That they allow, like, like, you to be, like, armed and stuff and.

E (56:21)

Yeah.

D (56:22)

Goes down. Yeah.

E (56:23)

Well, bro, that just recently happened. I saw a tick tock where this guy had road rage, pulled out a gun, started firing at the car and didn't realize there was like, there's a kid sitting in the back seat and killed the kid.

D (56:32)

That's crazy.

E (56:33)

Like, that's insane, bro.

D (56:34)

So sad.

E (56:34)

Like don't have road rage. Don't, don't like things. Their life is so precious and you're in a very dangerous situation by driving a, a metal vehicle at high speeds. And even though you're driving like 30, 20. I remember somebody told me this one time they're like, even if you get into a 20, 30 mile an hour accident, it's still. Imagine you running into a wall. Like if you're just running into a wall at 20 miles an hour.

D (56:57)

Yeah.

E (56:58)

Like you're going to get.

D (56:59)

Yeah, you're cooked. Yeah, you're cooked. You're cooked.

E (57:01)

Dude.

D (57:01)

Saul came up with a, with a really good one. It's you eat in your car so you don't have to offer food when you get home.

E (57:09)

Yeah.

D (57:10)

Right now what you said. Yeah.

E (57:14)

So you're doing it intentionally to not have to like offer somebody food or.

D (57:17)

Bring food back or purchase more food, which you spend more money and bring it. Right, Right. Very evil of you.

E (57:26)

That is kind of.

D (57:27)

Is your name Xiao? Yeah.

E (57:29)

You know what it is? You know how I determine if something is evil or not? Here's my insight. Intention. Like what's your intention? If your intention is because like you don't want to like offer them food, that's evil. But if your intention is like, man, I don't got the money and I just need to do this because I know they're going to ask me and I'm going to feel bad. Not evil.

D (57:46)

Not evil. Right? Not evil.

E (57:47)

Yeah. Because you're like, I would love to be able to offer whoever food but I can't. Yeah. So I'm just going to eat this real quick.

D (57:52)

Yeah.

E (57:53)

On the low.

D (57:53)

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. That's evil. Very evil. Is that coming from a place, from in your heart you got something to say. So out of it. Yeah, I think it's evil, man. I, I love giving away food, man. Just not mine.

E (58:07)

You can have some. Just not some of mine.

D (58:09)

Yeah, you can have some. I'll bring you some. It's so funny cuz I feel like it just depends too like if, if like obviously like people. Obviously. I've been my wife for so long, right. Like if I don't bring her food out. That's the thing.

E (58:26)

Yeah.

D (58:27)

Like now that when I live with, when you live with somebody for so long, like even if she's not hungry, you still offer and you still bring it.

E (58:35)

100.

D (58:35)

Like if my girl like postmate something and she didn't ask me and it just arrives to the door, I'm hurt, bro.

E (58:41)

If my girl does, I'm not hungry.

D (58:43)

Like, say I'm not hungry, but even though I'm not hungry, and, like, she didn't bring me California chicken Cafe, I'm hurt, bro.

E (58:51)

Yeah, hella hurt. No, I get it. And because you wouldn't do that, right?

D (58:55)

No.

E (58:56)

Yeah.

D (58:56)

Even with me.

E (58:57)

Like, so I'll wake up earlier than Mo, but I want a coffee. And I know she loves, like, matcha, but she doesn't always drink the matcha, so instead of waking her up, I would just always order her her matcha. And 80% of the time, no, that's exaggerated. Like 50% of the time, she won't even drink it.

D (59:11)

Really.

E (59:11)

She doesn't keep it in the fridge, but I'd rather do that than not get her anything. And then it's that one time that I knew she's not going to drink it, so I'm like, it's okay. And she's like, you didn't give me matcha.

D (59:21)

What a freaking waste. Josh, next time she doesn't drink it, call me. I will ridiculously drink that Matcha. No, I. I understand. Yeah, It's. It's a thing. It's almost like the thought that counts.

E (59:35)

Yeah.

D (59:35)

Yeah.

C (59:36)

Or sending tick tocks back to back, but never responding to your messages.

E (59:41)

I need some sort of validation when I send a tick tock that or of real or whatever. Like, I need you to like, like laugh at it or something like that.

A (59:47)

Yeah.

D (59:47)

Or like, hold down that tick tock and just put a laughing face. Yeah, that's it.

E (59:51)

That's it.

D (59:52)

That's all we ask for.

E (59:52)

You can do that.

D (59:54)

Like a link. Yeah. Oh, like. Yeah, I think you do it on Instagram too. Yeah. One thing too, like, about shows and stuff. Like, if I'm watching a show with my wife or whoever, and like, they're into the show too, and then, oh, I'm going to the bathroom. You can keep playing it, though.

E (60:10)

I won't do that.

D (60:11)

I'm not gonna do it. I'll still press pause.

E (60:13)

Yeah.

D (60:13)

It's out of respect. It's almost in the same caliber as like, oh, you're not hungry. I'm still going to bring you food. Yeah.

E (60:17)

Also, I want to take that moment to scroll on Tik Tok.

D (60:20)

Yeah.

C (60:20)

Yeah.

D (60:21)

Or something. Right.

E (60:21)

You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm always. I'm always like, it's actually good that you're going. It's a little. I need a little reset.

D (60:25)

Yeah, you just pause it. Real close it, scroll it doesn't hurt.

E (60:29)

But Then that could become dangerous because you pause it. They go to the restroom, go grab whatever snack or whatever. You start scrolling on Tik tok. Then they'll see you and then they'll start scrolling on TikTok. And then you'll never finish the movie. Goddamn tick tock, man.

D (60:42)

Goddamn tick tock, man. Damn. Well, it's Christmas, man. I hope that you got everything that you wished for.

E (60:48)

What day does this episode drop? What day is it today? In present time?

C (60:52)

Monday the 22nd.

E (60:54)

Monday the 22nd.

D (60:55)

Three, four. Yeah, so it's Monday the 22nd.

E (60:59)

Oh my God. Now this, now it's that one I'm taking.

A (61:01)

Enough.

E (61:02)

It's over, bro.

D (61:03)

The contact really makes the.

F (61:05)

Wow.

E (61:06)

It does, huh?

D (61:08)

Yeah. You see now you look Latino.

E (61:10)

Yeah, I'm back.

D (61:12)

Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet. Dang. I say you look like little Rob. Some, some of these just sitting around and when the sun comes down, ready to party.

E (61:27)

Hey.

D (61:30)

I can't.

E (61:32)

Let's just end this episode, please.

D (61:35)

Okay, quick story and I'm so sorry cuz I know that burns, but I, I don't around with that. About eight years ago, I was sub zero for Halloween and I got white contacts and I put them on. And immediately when I put them on, my eyes started to burn, right? But I was so committed to the costume and the whole night it, I left it on, I took them off. Finally when I got back to the hotel, cuz I think we're in downtown LA. The next morning I woke up at 6 o'. Clock. I felt like somebody freaking stabbed me with a razor. Yeah, with a late laser in my eye, bro.

E (62:08)

Wow.

D (62:09)

I couldn't, I didn't know what's going on. So I went to the bathroom and I put water in my face. I thought maybe I had something in my eye, right? And I, I could, I couldn't handle it. I'm not one to complain or want to say, hey babe, can you take me to the hospital? Or I need to go to urgent care. But I did. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I woke up my wife because it was like 4 or 5 in the morning, I think. And I said, karen, you know what? I think something's wrong with my eye. I couldn't even open my eye. As soon as I would open it, hot lava. I go to the er, they put some numbing drops on me. Oh my God, it felt amazing. I still remember the contact cut around my cornea. Oh yeah. And I had to have an eye patch on for 24 hours with non Stop. Just burning sensation. It was horrible.

E (63:02)

Yeah.

D (63:02)

If you ever get your contacts at a smoke shop, please do not do that. Okay.

E (63:12)

No, no, it's.

D (63:12)

Yeah, so, like, don't with that. If it burns, take this deck. Take it off. It's not worth it. It's not worth your eyes.

E (63:18)

I think it just wasn't sitting correct on my contact. That's what.

D (63:21)

It's just not your size, bro. They're universal contacts, but they're not. You got a good picture, though.

E (63:26)

Did we?

D (63:27)

I did. We didn't take a picture.

E (63:30)

We can CGI it.

D (63:32)

Okay, cool. Josh. Merry Christmas, man. Jess. Merry Christmas. If you guys don't know back at home, today is actually Matt's officially last day here. Obviously, we're still gonna see him a lot, but you guys probably won't. But if you follow him, you'll see him all the time.

E (63:47)

He'll be on the next two episodes.

D (63:49)

Yeah, but like, in real life, right now, it's his last day, so once again, I want to thank Matt for all the effort, all the commitment that he's given. La platica. He's changed La platica. For the best big milestone in our life. We appreciate you, Matt. Mucho. We love you, bro. Love you and your family. Thank you so much. So run out of applause for Matt.

E (64:07)

There it is.

D (64:08)

Sending him off. You for leaving. Have a merry Christmas, everybody. Be with your family. Take pictures, please take pictures. You know, we never know what happens next week, the next day, the next hour. Things happen all the time, whether they be good or bad. So always remember, be present. Josh, Lea, I love you. Thank you for always being committed to. To the show. Loving being here, sitting down with me and talking to me. You're an amazing person. Take care of mucho as well. And Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

E (64:41)

Yeah.

D (64:41)

Merry Christmas, everybody back at home.

E (64:43)

Love that, bro. Yeah. Honestly, I hope you guys have a safe holiday going into Christmas. And thank you for the continued support. Hope you guys enjoyed the.

D (64:51)

The.

E (64:52)

The costumes. And we should do more of these. We'll definitely do more.

D (64:55)

Yeah.

E (64:56)

We are in the future.

D (64:56)

Yeah.

E (64:56)

Yeah.

D (64:57)

They're a little expensive, but sure, it'll.

E (64:59)

Take a lot of time.

D (65:01)

It's so crazy because we'll spend four hours on doing this and we only film for an hour, maybe two, tops. And then the day it's gone, they take it off.

E (65:08)

That's it.

D (65:09)

I kind of feel bad. Right? No.

E (65:12)

I mean.

D (65:12)

No.

E (65:13)

They were telling us how sometimes it takes like four to five hours for like a 20 minute scene.

D (65:16)

Part of the job. Yeah, it's part of the job. Yeah. So if you have damp socks at home, you can just easily just put them in the dryer. Okay. And that's it. And then you have socks.

E (65:30)

First of all, do you know if. What do you think Chat said about, like, the damn socks? You think it's an issue or not an issue?

D (65:36)

Yeah. It can probably cause fungi, fungus and smelly feet. And it's just not good. It's not good to soak your shit in, like, water.

E (65:44)

Yeah.

D (65:44)

Yeah. But you should have known that already.

E (65:47)

I know. It's kind of logical, huh? A little bit. Just a little bit. Well, you know what? Because I was like, I felt bad because I don't really write reviews. I'm not a review writer.

D (65:55)

Yeah.

E (65:56)

So when I was like. When I saw the review and I was like, is this a big deal? You know?

D (65:59)

No, they should know.

E (66:00)

Yeah. But then I was like this. And that's what. I reframed the question. I was like, I don't. I'm not here to complain. I just wanted to bring it to your guys's attention.

D (66:07)

Yeah.

E (66:07)

So in the future, we can just fix this.

D (66:09)

Yeah. And something good always happens. You probably got a nice little credit or something.

E (66:12)

I got a credit?

D (66:13)

Yeah. The other day I got something on Amazon. Didn't even work. First time ever, you know? First time ever I actually had to, like, write down because it was like, kind of like not too expensive, but expensive enough to write something down. Right. I talked to Rufus. There's an AI guy named Rufus on Amazon. I don't know if you ever talked to that guy.

E (66:28)

Cool as.

D (66:28)

Yeah. Hey, this happened. Oh, was it this one? Yeah. How'd you know? Well, I'm Amazon, right. I know everything. So he did that.

A (66:34)

He did this.

D (66:35)

Sorry. Sorry about that. Sorry about this. We'll contact the seller and we put in a ten dollar credit on your account now. Oh, cool. Something good came out of it. But anyways, Sea Geek, thank you so much. This is La platica, the number one Latino podcast. And that's only according to Google or Dr. Evil. Right? Right. Yeah. Josh Leva. Love you guys.

E (67:00)

Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

D (67:01)

Ciao, ciao. Time to take this off.

E (67:05)

Your shit's so wrinkly right now. Liquid magma.

D (67:18)

I fingered myself.

A (67:20)

Right.

D (67:22)

So good, so good, so good.

A (67:24)

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