The girls are running on fumes and looking feral — Becca’s grieving her face tan, Keltie is breaking out just in time for Oscars weekend, and Jac is serving long-hair-don’t-care energy. Becca gives a full colonoscopy recap nobody asked for but everyone needs, including internal hemorrhoid photos and the luxury spa treatment version of butt medicine, while Keltie spirals over Mark Ballas’s Broadway wig prep and Jac debuts a new Irish celebrity obsession. But the main event? Keltie reveals the absolutely unhinged story of how her identity was stolen in the most elaborate scam imaginable — fake podcast invites, a Zoom with “tech support,” stolen passwords, hacked accounts, and thousands of dollars gone. Plus: Ford asks Becca if she’s going to die soon, Lisa Rinna’s book is a masterpiece of zero self-editing, and the gang would like one final word with “Jeff.”

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