Podcast Summary:

The Code of A Godly Man | Love Life | Pastor Josh Howerton
Lakepointe Church with Josh Howerton
Date: August 10, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Pastor Josh Howerton launches a new series titled "Love Life," centered on verse-by-verse teaching through the Song of Solomon. The inaugural message focuses specifically on men, exploring the biblical code of a godly man, particularly in the context of marriage, relationships, and personal character. Josh unabashedly dives into sometimes-taboo topics like intimacy, purity, and marital priorities, blending humor, energy, and deep biblical conviction throughout.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Series Introduction & Purpose

• Kicks off "Love Life" series on the Song of Solomon, a unique and often overlooked book focusing on romance, intimacy, and godly relationships.
• The series promises frank discussions on marriage, sex, and romance from a biblical perspective, countercultural to the world’s norms. (“If the church won't disciple people, the world will.” [13:42])
• Josh openly credits Pastor Joby Martin for some inspiration (about 20% of today’s material).

2. Why Focus On Men First?

• Conviction: Transforming men under Christ’s lordship catalyzes change in families, culture, and even nations.
• Encouragement for men to be spiritual leaders: “What we need is men to bend their knee to the lordship of Jesus so that then they stand up and act like men and lay down their lives in love for the people around them and live for their lives, families and legacies.” ([09:11])

3. Who Will Benefit from This Series?

• Singles: Encouraged to become the right person, not just seek the right partner.
  • “The assumption of the Bible is that if you become the right type of person, you are going to attract the right type of person.” ([19:25])
• Marrieds: Told to humble themselves—“Assume it’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” ([22:17])
• The spiritually hopeful: Assurance that God can resurrect dead marriages.

4. Eight Characteristics of a Godly Man (from Song of Solomon)

1. Prioritizes His Wife

• Song of Solomon is the “Song of Songs”—the best, like the “Don’t Stop Believin’” of Journey tunes.
• “When you married your wife, she became your highest earthly calling, till death do you part.” ([31:43])
• Men aren't "one flesh" with jobs or hobbies; they’re to prioritize their wives.
• “You get one hobby, and it’s expendable if your family’s not good.” ([33:50])

2. Smells Good

• Practical but biblical: attractiveness and physical honor matter.
• “If the kissing from verse one isn’t happening, check the smelling from verse two, okay?” ([39:17])
• Both spouses are called to use their bodies to bless each other (1 Cor. 7:4).

3. Integrity and Character

• “Your name is like oil poured out. No wonder the young women love you.” ([43:20])
• No dating non-Christians: “So is hell, you know.” ([48:45])
• “The only thing worse than being lonely and single is being lonely and married.” ([49:21])
• Attraction is a start, but character is the heart of lasting relationships.

4. Wife Is His Standard of Beauty

• Pushes back on cultural beauty standards.
• “Your wife is your standard of beauty. And that's it.” ([59:23])
• No porn, no comparison, no “work wives.”

5. Values His Wife

• “A man of God values his wife and treats her as valuable.” ([01:02:19])
• Expresses love in her "love language." (Physical touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts.)
• “You need to show her she's valuable...in her way.” ([01:03:57])

6. Emotionally Intimate

• Face-to-face marriage over back-to-back (enemies) or side-to-side (business partners).
• “The definition of marriage in the book Song of Solomon is, you are my lover and you are my friend.” ([01:12:04])
• Encourages men to create intentional time for undistracted conversation.

7. Financially Secure

• Not about wealth, but security.
• “You don’t get up and go to fun. You get up and go to work.” ([01:24:52])
• “If you will just show up on time, have a good attitude, respect authority, and do what you said you were going to do, you’re going to be ahead of 95% of the guys in our culture.” ([01:26:03])

8. Practices Sexual Purity

• Sex is for marriage only: “Sex is not for gonna be married people…used to be married people…or ‘married in our hearts’…there is no such thing as married in your hearts.” ([01:34:31])
• Men should set sexual boundaries in dating.
• Advice for single men: clear intentions, gentlemanly dating, pursue her with respect and honor.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Priorities:
  “You are not one flesh with your set of golf clubs…You get one hobby, and it’s expendable if your family’s not good.” ([33:50])
• On Sexual Purity:
  “Sex is for married people only. And by married, I mean a biological man married to a biological woman for a lifetime.” ([01:34:31])
• On Love Languages:
  “For me, I got two love languages, two primary love languages. Physical touch and physical touch.” ([01:03:51])
• On Work Ethic:
  “You don’t get up and go to fun. You get up and go to work.” ([01:24:52])
• On Self-Reflection:
  “Assume it’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me. Don’t listen to anything else Taylor Swift says except that sentence right there.” ([22:17])
• On Raising Hope:
  “If he breathed life into Jesus’ dead body, he can breathe life into your dead marriage…and you can have a new marriage with the same spouse because the spirit of God can indwell you and make you a new creation…” ([24:30])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Series Introduction & Celebration: 00:00 – 08:50
• Why Address Men First / Ladies’ Encouragement: 09:11 – 13:54
• PG-11 Disclaimer & Series Tone: 13:54 – 18:41
• Who This Is For (Singles, Marrieds, Hurting Couples): 18:41 – 25:07
• Song of Solomon Overview / Teaching Style: 25:07 – 27:35
• Eight Characteristics of a Godly Man: 31:30 – 01:33:50
• Declaration: The Code of a Man of God: 01:39:54 – End

Declaration: The Code of a Godly Man (Group Reading)

(Full text in final segment; men at all campuses stand and recite together)

“I am a man of God. God is my father. Jesus Christ is my Lord. The Spirit of God and the Word of God are my guide. And my family is my highest earthly calling. I am not a perfect man. I am a forgiven man…” ([1:39:54])

Tone and Style

Pastor Josh mixes direct biblical teaching with candid humor and vulnerability, making potentially uncomfortable topics approachable and compelling. He encourages honest reflection, humility, and practical action for men—and sets up a call for women in the next installment.

Conclusion

This opener to the "Love Life" series at Lakepointe is a high-energy, no-holds-barred call for men to embody godly character in every sphere of life—marriage, relational purity, character, and leadership. It’s challenging, funny, and clear, with practical wisdom and spiritual depth.

Key takeaway:
Bad men can become good men in the hands of the perfect man, Jesus Christ.

Next Week:
Focus shifts to teaching “what it means to be a woman of God”—from the same Song of Solomon series.