← Lakepointe Church with Josh Howerton
Lakepointe Church with Josh Howerton
The Code of A Godly Man | Love Life | Pastor Josh Howerton
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Hey, guys, thanks for checking out this Bible teaching. Every week we release a podcast that corresponds to the sermon. It's like a little bit of a deeper dive where we hit some things that didn't make it into the sermon, some theological concepts. We talk about things that are going on in our culture and how to think about them from a biblical perspective. We call that podcast Live Free. An episode releases every Monday that corresponds to the sermon. If you would like to check out Live Free, just go to the Lake Pointe YouTube channel and look for the podcast tab there. We'll see you at Live Free. Now enjoy this Bible teaching. That's right. Good morning, Lakemore family. If you guys got your Bibles, head over to the book. Song of Solomon. Song of Solomon. Buckle up, it's gonna be a doozy. Song of Solomon. And hey, while you're turning there, I do wanna do something for the very first time, actually. My wife Jana's over there right now. Would you please help me welcome at all of our campuses for the very first time. Our Sunnyvale grand opening is today. That's right, man. Sunnyvale campus. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Janice over there right now in the service. Hope y' all treat her good over there. And we're really excited, man. It's all about one more. One more person, one more service, one more campus. We're going after one more. It's awesome. Now we also, before we dive in, I just want to celebrate what happened our church in the last last few weeks. We just finished, obviously, at the movies. And I just want to celebrate like, the last four weeks were insane. So let me just toss a few things up on the screen. Number one, our in person attendance during the last four weeks of at the movies, it ended being right at 120,692. Come on, somebody. Amen. Amen. Amen. It's awesome. Awesome. Thank y' all for your help. And we need you on Saturday if you can. We still need that. That'd be great. Now, I just got curious, so I just asked the team how many bags of popcorn y' all ate. So they looked it up and 120,000 people ate. 103,535 people are like, do we clap or repent? Which one do we do? I don't know which one to do. Okay. I just thought that was interesting. Okay, now again, none of those numbers matter because I always want to say this, that we are not in the crowd business. We're in the disciple business. Jesus did not say go into the world. And make huge crowds. He said to go into all the world and make disciples. So here's the number that matters. The number I'm getting ready to show you is the number of people who publicly indicated a first time decision to follow Jesus during out of the movies. And this was little amazing. 2,363 people. Come on, let's celebrate those people. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. If that's you, you need to know you making that decision, that was not the finish line. That was a starting line. You just put a miracle in motion. Now the spirit of God lives in the person of God. To change lives and lineages and legacies through the power of the word of God. And so that's what we do. Welcome. If this is your first week here, let me tell you what's gonna happen. We're gonna get up in here, we're going to open a Bible. We're going to sing the songs and pray the prayers, and then we're going to open to some book of the Bible. And I just like preaching through books of the Bible. And so right now that's exactly what we're going to do. We are starting a series today that we are just calling Love Life where we are preaching verse by verse through the book the Song of Solomon. Now you need to know this book is very different than any other book of the Bible. I'm going to explain that here in a second. So I want to give public credit to a pastor friend of mine named Joby Martin. About 20%. I've never heard a sermon on this before. About 20% of what you're gonna hear today. Pastor Joby's preaching helped me with and I wanna credit him. But this series, what we're gonna be doing for the next five weeks is just preaching verse by verse through a book of the Bible called Song of Solomon. And it's gonna be real interesting. Now what I'm gonna do today is we're gonna start this series speaking to the men of the church. And there's a reason for that, both from the Bible. And then we also have this conviction. Here's our conviction, is that if you want to change a nation, you want to change a culture, you want to change a family, here's how you do it. What we need is men to bend their knee to the lordship of Jesus so that then they stand up and act like men and lay down their lives in love for the people around them and live for their lives, families and legacies. That's our conviction. And so we very frequently. Amen. You gotta clap, you gotta commit. And so we very frequently. Man, I just, I want, I want the best men anywhere to be raised up inside of the house of God here because they're men of the word, men of the spirit, men of prayer under the lordship of Jesus Christ. So today we're gonna begin talking to men. Now let me give a quick heads up ladies. Cause we're gonna move real fast. Ladies, here's some things we don't need. Chuckle, chuggle, chuckle, chuggle, chuckle. Okay, here's what we don't need. What we don't need is you never like you're brand new church, you've never, you don't even come before, you know, you never open your Bible, you never sing, you never smile, you definitely never respond. You don't take any notes, you don't respond to the preaching. And then all of a sudden, today, while I'm talking to the man, you're real loud. Amen. It's like you've never done it before. He doesn't need that. Your man's got a holy spirit, you ain't it. So you just need to let the Holy Spirit do his thing. Convict and comfort. That's great. Here's what you can do. You can encourage him. At some point in the next four or five weeks, here's what's gonna happen. Cause it happens every time I do a series like this. Your man is gonna try to do something that I talk about from the Bible during this series. What he doesn't need to do is for you to say something like finally. Or you're just doing that. Cause Pastor Josh said to do it. Okay, no, no, don't do any of that. Here's all he needs. He just needs you to encourage him. Encourage him. And you may be going, well, how can I encourage him? Song of Solomon is gonna teach you how. You'll see if you pick up what I'm putting down. That's how you do it. Now. That's okay. Let me give a couple quick disclaimers about this series and then we gotta get right in. Okay? Number one, this is a PG11 series. Now I got a teenager now. I am writing this series in such a way that I think you want your kids to hear this series. And here's why I would say this. Here's a question I would ask you. Some of you might be like, I'm not sure. And that's up to you. You know your family, you know your kids. But I would ask this question, why would you Want them to hear what the world is saying about marriage, sex, romance, intimacy and that stuff and not hear what the word says. Why in the world we want that? Because, listen, if the church won't disciple people, the world will. And I guarantee they're hearing what the world says about this stuff. So why don't we get them under the authority, the word of God. Okay? So that's. Number one. This is gonna be a PG11 series. Number two, you are gonna hate this series if you are uncomfortable with biblical teaching about marriage, romance, sex and intimacy. In fact, you are going to be uncomfortable with how comfortable I am talking about these things during this series. We're going right at it. Number three, you're gonna hate this series. I learned in 2023. I need to say this. You're gonna hate this series if you cannot handle a joke about marriage, sex, romance and intimacy. Okay? Now, I'm not concerned about you because I drove all those people off in 2023, and right now, Hang on, that's a bit of an inside joke. And right now, they're home reading the Dallas Morning News. That's what they're doing right now. All right, but if that's you, you're not gonna like this series because we are gonna have a little fun with this thing. And then, last thing, you're gonna hate this series if during this series, it's a very, very frank series, okay? It required, like, important things, require straight talk. So if during the series, you hear things and you're like, oh, man, I say something that's different from what you hear kind of out in world and culture about marriage and intimacy and all the things. And you're like, oh, I can't believe he said that. The whole world. Every. The whole world knows that's not right. The world. Everybody knows. The world thinks differently about that. Here's my question to you. Why in the world are you trying to do what the world says about marriage, sex, romance and intimacy? Why in the world? Because the world is terrible at those things. Just think about this. You're like, oh, I say something. You're like, what? Everybody know that's not normal. Why are. Here's. Listen. Here's normal in the world. Normal in the world is 55% of marriages ending in divorce. Everybody's depressed, you know, pilled out, addicted, divorced, broke, bankrupt. Why in the world are you trying to do what's normal in the world? Instead, what we should be doing is getting under the authority not of the world, but of the word of God. Because that's the place where God commands his blessing. So if you hear anything where you're like, man, that's different than what the world says. Honestly, don't get offended, get curious, because that's actually probably the secret. Okay, so those are the people who are not gonna like this series. Now here's who I think this series is gonna be awesome for. Here's who this series is gonna be awesome for. Where are my single people at? Raise your hand. Single people. Raise your hand. Raise your real loud. Loud and proud. Raise your left hand. Raise your left hand. You know what I mean? Okay, everybody look around. Look around. For real. Raise them. Come on, man, raise them. Look around. You're welcome. You're welcome. I literally have been praying during sermon prep that about a year from now, mass marriages, because a whole bunch of single people who love Jesus came to Lake Point, found each other, and then they start families that raise godly children. I am praying for that. So I literally want that to happen. So here's what I'm gonna be doing during this series. All throughout the series, I'm not just talking to married people. You're gonna see today. I'm gonna be dropping stuff in there because this talks about what? What the whole whatever you want to call it, courtship, date and whatever you want to call it. I don't care what you call it, it talks about this stuff. I'm going to be helping you out now. I'll give you a quick heads up, single people. If you open the Bible asking the question, where are the verses about how to find a good spouse? You're not going to find any verses. There are literally zero verses. But if you open the Bible asking the question, how do I become the type of person who could be a good spouse? Every single verse is for you. The assumption of the Bible. Check this out. The assumption of the Bible is that if you become the right type of person, you are going to attract the right type of person. So your goal needs to be this. While I'm doing all this stuff today, I'm gonna talk about what it means to be a man of God. If you are a single dude, you need to be going, I need to become that so I can attract a woman of God. Okay? So this is the assumption. You need to try to become the type of person that the person you're looking for is looking for. And we're gonna make that real clear for you. You're gonna love it. Okay? So now here's who else is going to love this series. You're going to love this Series. If you walk in humbling yourself, you're not walking in, listening for him. You got your little elbow thing going on. Or listening for her, like, slow your neck down. Don't do that thing. But if you walk in every week, assuming it's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me, don't listen to anything else Taylor Swift says except that sentence right there. But if you assume that and you just humble yourself and you just go, okay, God, what do you got for me? I'm here. Like, convict me. What do you want to do? And me, God, you're going to love this series. And then last one, there are a lot of people who, man, you walking in right now and it's like, man, your marriage feels like it's dead. It's on the table. No hope. Okay, here's what I'd say. If you walk in with hope and faith, believing that God is in the resurrection business and that if he breathed life into Jesus dead body, he can breathe life into your dead marriage and that you can have a new marriage with the same spouse because the spirit of God can indwell you and make you a new creation, you're going to love this series because I guarantee. Listen, man, come on. I get that's a. We're going to applaud in hope. I guarantee you're going to see God do some miraculous things in the families of the church throughout this series. So I'm asking you and challenging you to be here every single week of this series for that reason. All right, we're ready to get into the word. Ready? Okay, we'll see what you think. Here we go. Song of Songs. Here we go. Here's what this book is. Quick intro. Dude named Solomon falls in love with somebody. We find out later he just calls her a shunammite woman. I got thoughts about who that is. It's on the podcast. And all they do is this whole book is them singing songs to each other. So if you saw Hamilton, it's like that. This is a faith Hill, Tim McGraw late 90s situation. They're just singing songs at each other. That's what this is. Okay, now, throughout this book, there's a bunch of songs. The woman, and I'm just reading you data, the woman talks 55% of the time and the man talks 39% of the time. Because the Bible reflects reality. That's why that happens. And then every now and then, the woman's friends hop in and they sing a little ditty about what they think about her. This dude that she's dating now young men. There's a reason for that. If you don't know this yet, let me help you out. That's because when you start dating a girl, you are not just dating the girl. You're dating her entire network of friends. And they're all going to get together and talk about you and what they think about you every single time. Why do they do that? Because. Because it's biblical. That's why they do it. So that's what happens here. And then only one time, God hops in and he himself sings his own song over what's going on and it just happens to be on the honeymoon in Jesus name. We'll talk about that in a few weeks. Now here we go. This is a sermon to men. So you preach to men. Different, you preach to women. It's fast moving, small words, very clear, practical. It's gonna be great, man. It's gonna be great. I'm a dude. I know what kind of preaching I like. All right, here we go. Eight characteristics of a man of God. Moving quick. Verse one of Song of Solomon says this. The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's. Now, let me explain this really quick. I feel dumb because I didn't know this and I'm a Bible guy until this week. I used to wonder, why is it called Song of Songs? Okay, Whenever in ancient Hebrew they do that thing like they'll call him Lord of Lords or King of Kings. That's the way that Hebrew expresses a superlative. It's saying it's the best one. Now, Second Kings, chapter four for you Bible nerds says that Solomon, a King, wrote 1,005 songs. Apparently when he wrote this one song about romance, sex, intimacy, marriage, courtship, all the things God steps in and goes, that's the most important one you wrote, bro. That's the one that's the most important. So it's kind of the same deal where it's like Journey. I did a little research this week. Journey wrote 173 songs. But then there's Don't Stop Believing is the best one. Neil diamond wrote 251 songs, but there's one that stands above all the rest. And you're gonna finish it for me. Sweet Caroline. See, that's amazing. I've been waiting to do that all week. All week I've been waiting to do that. Just one. This is what God is saying is he wrote a bunch of songs, but the one that I care about the most is the one about marriage. Principle number one, a man of God. Prioritizes his wife. A man of God prioritizes his wife. Men, what this means is that when you married your wife, she became your highest earthly calling, till death do you part. The Bible says this in the book of Genesis to you men. It says this to all of us, but especially to you men. It says that a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave or hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Men, watch this. You are not one flesh with your job and you are not one flesh with any of your hobbies. So you're not one flesh with your career. You are not one flesh with your set of golf clubs. The Bible says that you are one flesh with your wife. And what this means is the man of God prioritizes his wife as his highest earthly calling. Now listen, I'm going to be real raw about how I failed and how God has redeemed some things in my life. I got a lot of problems in my life. I sinned some sins and struggle with some things. By God's grace, I can say with full integrity in front of all of you, I have an amazing marriage. I'm gonna tell you some things that I've learned along the way. Failing forward. Okay? Now check this out. I didn't get this early on. Here's where I am now. A man of God prioritizes his wife. Like a lot of you, I am very busy. I work a six day work week. There are a lot of people that want to, you know, that want to see if they can have a meeting. It's busy, busy, busy. Lots of requests. But listen, there is a reason in my life you can't get a meeting with me on a Monday no matter what. I say no to. 99.999% of speaking engagements. I've had publishers reaching out for years. I have said no to every single one of them. I have never written a book and there is a reason. I played a ton of golf in high school. However much golf you played in high school, I was there. Or more. I played a ton of golf in high school. I haven't played more than like one round of golf per year in 10, 15 years. Now listen real quick. I'm not saying it's wrong to play golf. Don't hear that. Some of you may have this thing going on where it's like you take your sons or your daughters with you and it's great dad time. When some of you go at 5am before she gets up and work happens, that's fine. Some of you work it into actually how you work. It's part of your job or career or your empty nesters, whatever your thing is. All that's fine. I'm just telling you this. Do you know why I don't play golf and why I'm not good at golf? I'm not good at golf because I've decided I'm gonna be good at being a dad and I'm gonna be good at marriage. That's the reason I don't play golf. Now, listen, listen. So here's what I would say. Here's what I would say to you if. For you, especially if you're a young man, if you're a man with a wife and. And children, you're trying to win at a career. Here's a principle I would give you. You get one hobby, and it's expendable if your family's not good. You get one hobby, and it's expendable if your family's not good. Why? Because a man of God prioritizes a wife. Listen, men, the aspiration of your life should be that when your life is over and the tale of your accomplishments is told, they can sing a lot of songs about you. But the best song they could sing about you is that you loved a woman. Well, you. You were faithful to her all your days, and she flourished into her old age because she was married to a man of God. Man of God prioritizes his wife. All right, let's keep going. Let's keep going. I have asked Janet to memorize this next verse. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth in Jesus name, for your love is more delightful than wine. There it is. Baptist, right there. Okay, now real quick, next week. What we're going to be doing next week is I'm. I'm going to spend the whole time talking about what it means to be a woman of God. I got no idea what I'm talking. It's like a. A Catholic priest giving marriage counseling. I don't know what I'm talking about. I got no idea. But what I can do. That's another. That's a great joke I got from a buddy. That's a good joke. Can't handle it. You're going to hate this series. Okay, here's what I can do. I can open up the word of God and tell you what it says. That's what I'm going to do next week. Okay, now, but I do want to point this out. Ladies, you will see this theme. Married ladies, you will see this theme throughout the book of the Song of Solomon. Notice she the woman, she is the physical initiator. Very frequently in the relationship, she's the one initiating physically. Now, the reason I point this out is in most marriages, for reasons we'll talk about later, in most marriages, what happens is he plays offense and she plays defense. He's trying to score and she's dropping back into prevent. You know what I mean? Don't act like, come on, man, lighten up. You know, that's like, that's a thing. That's a thing. So here's what ends up happening in that situation is that the whole marriage feels like this. Offense, defense. He's like, hey, hey, I'm over here. Hey. And then she's like a hockey goalie. Block, block, block, block. Headache, you know, whatever it is, that's okay. I just want to say, not in a Christian marriage. In a Christian marriage, what you got right here is she's the one going, hey, I've got desires. I like to have some fun. I got some things I like to try. And she's here and she's initiating. Okay, principle number two. Let's keep going. Where am I? Here we go. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes. Principle number two. A man of God smells good. Sometimes. Sometimes. Okay, now, gentlemen, if the kissing from verse one isn't happening, check the smelling from verse two, okay? Now you may laugh at that, but there's actually a very biblical principle happening here. First Corinthians 7, verse 4. It says this, and this is crazy offensive in our culture, but we do not apologize for the word of God. Here's what First Corinthians 7:4 says. It says to husbands, hey, husbands, your body actually doesn't belong to you. It belongs to your wife. And you are honor bound to use your body in a way that honors, blesses and pleases your wife. And then it goes to the wife. 1 Corinthians 7:4 and says, hey, wives, your body actually does not belong to you. You are honor bound to. It belongs to your husband. And you are honor bound to use your body and present it in a way that honors, blesses and pleases your husband. Okay? So there's this principle. In a good marriage, both people are using their body in a way that they're like, hey, how do you like my body? What can I do here? Now, I'll give you an example of this. Very practical for Janet and I. Date nights on Thursday, Thursday night. I don't miss date night. What Janet does on very many Thursday nights is she Comes out before the date in some dress that she had shipped from Amazon. I need to buy stock in Amazon real quick. I need a. Jana comes out in Amazon dress and she asks me, do you like this dress before the date? And I respond kind of the same way every single time. I wish it was higher, tighter and lower. That's what I always say. Don't act like you're not the same. Please stop. Stop it. Please stop. And then Jana reminds me that other people are going to see her. I'm like, crap, you're right. Yep, I love the dress. That's what happens every single week. Now here's the principle. The principle is right there, is that she is trying to go, how can I. Just like this verse. How can I present myself to you in a way that's attractive, that's pleasing? All these things. So husbands, let me talk to you real quick. Real practical. Some guys need just real straightforward, real practical. This is things like change out of the stained sweatpants and the autozone T shirt that you got during the Reagan administration. This is things like you need to bathe with soap and water, both of them. Little mouthwash will help go a long way. A man of God. Smells good. That's what you got right here. We're trying to honor each other. Principle number three. Here we go. Your name is like oil poured out. No wonder the young women love you. Now let me explain this before I give the principle back. In this day, you're going to see a lot of stuff like this throughout the book. Stuff that doesn't make sense until you explain it. Back in this day, when they had oil, what they would do if they wanted to purify it is they would put it in a little vessel with a little strainer. Then they would very slowly pour it out. And as it was slowly poured out, it would leave all of the impurities behind. So what it's talking about is she's saying his character and reputation is speaking to purity. Principle number three. A man of God is a man of integrity and character. A man of God is a man of integrity and character. Now, really quick, let me preach the gospel real quick. If you are new to Lake Point and you're trying to figure this Jesus thing out, this is the most important thing I'm gonna say this week. There is only one way that you can be separated from the impurities in your life. Because every man everywhere is born into this world a wretched, black hearted sinner. And as you get into this world like that, you're gonna sin some sins. And you're gonna look at your life and you are going to see some impurities in your life in relation to the holiness of God. Now there's only one way that you can be separated from those impurities. Jesus Christ, the firstborn, the son of God, Jesus Christ came and he is the only one ever who perfectly pure life that you did not live. And then he went to the cross and he died the death that it was actually you that deserved to die. And when he hung on that cross, bleeding to death and choking to death in his own blood, and he pushed up on those nail pierced hands and nail pierced feet and he cried out, it is finished. What was finished was Jesus had accomplished. He had paid the penalty for all of your impurities on the cross. So that now when you put your faith in him, God doesn't now look at him or look at you and see your impurities. Now he looks at Jesus, his perfect purity. And you are clothed with the righteousness of Jesus. So that now God has separated you from your impurities forevermore. And then he fills you with his spirit to empower you to walk and live in freedom from the impurities that you were born into. That's the gospel. There is only one way for you to be separated from those things. Now at a very practical level, like on the earth ground level for our young people, like if you're single, you're dating, that kind of thing. There's a couple things this means very practically. Number one, you should not be dating anybody that does not have Christ like character. In a very straightforward way, you should not be dating anybody that is not a Christian. You should not be dating anybody that's not a Christian. In fact, we have New Testament verses that give specific commands. It says, do not be unequally yoked. That means tied together with unbelievers. Now you may be going, oh man, but like, I really like him and it's really awesome and he's so hot, okay? I always say the same thing. So is hell, you know, it's like you got to figure out which one are you going to go. So here's the deal, man. Okay, here's the deal. And here's what you're afraid of. You're afraid. You're like, I'm afraid I'm going to get old and lonely and single. Listen, I've just seen this for this many years. You need to know this. The only thing worse than being lonely and single is being lonely and married. The only thing worse than being single is wishing you were and Listen, if you love Jesus and you're led by the spirit of God, and he doesn't love Jesus, and he is not led by the spirit of God, then think about this. At the deepest level of your heart and his heart, you want totally opposite things. You are moving in opposite directions. And if you marry that guy you are marrying or girl you are marrying, a problem that's gonna pull your family apart in the future. Again, you're worried about being lonely and single. You're gonna end up in a spot where at the deepest level of your soul, you are lonely and married. You should not be dating anybody that does not have Christ like character. So you shouldn't be dating anybody that is not a Christian number. Two thing that this means is here's how a relationship. This is for single people and married people. This principle goes all the way to death, is that the relationship starts with attraction. She is super attracted to this dude, and God blesses it. But it doesn't end with attraction. Now, throughout this series, I'm going to tell you just a couple stories about me and Jana. Little peek behind the curtain. Here's how Jan and I met. We met on a blind date. I know that's weird. The guy that discipled me, my youth pastor in high school, Jana got saved. In college. His wife discipled Jana. So I'm a senior at Union University, and I get a text in the early 2000s when it cost 10 cents to send each text. That was a thing. I know that's, like, unfathomable to some of you, that was actually a thing. And Jeff texts me, and he's like, hey, man, I've heard you've been single for a minute, which hurt a little bit. But he, you know, he. I heard you've been single for a minute. And he's like, there's this girl up here that I really think you need to meet. Why don't you come up here and I'll set you guys up on a date. Blind date. And I'll be really honest. Young, arrogant college guy. My first thought was, like, hey, man, like, I'm Josh Howardson. Like, I'm not desperate. You know, it's kind of my. So then he was like, hey, dude, I'm gonna send you a picture. So this was back when he sends a picture and I click on the little email. This is back when, like, pictures and emails loaded like this. You remember that? Y' all remember that? It was, like, the most suspenseful four minutes of my life, like, ever. I'm like, please, God. Like, you Know every single. And the picture loads. And as soon as the picture loads, I'm like, I'll be there next weekend. Okay, now really quick, I want to make a point. Some of you are like, oh, how ungodly. If you were really godly, you wouldn't have cared what you. Okay, I just want to point this out throughout this book. Physical attraction is a blessed thing. God never steps in and goes, if you were really godly, you wouldn't. No, no. You were born into a human body that does human body things. That's totally normal. And you should want to be attracted to the person you end up with. That's fine. But watch this. It's okay for a relationship to start with attraction. It just can't stay with attraction. Now here's what I mean. So I go up, I take Jana on a blind date. We go to Starbucks and Auntie Anne's, because that's what I was. I could afford. And I'll talk about this later. And should pay for dates. So that's what I could afford. I was gonna pay for it. Take her to Starbucks and Annie Ann's. Great date. So I'm enamored. I'm like, dude, this girl, stunning. Red hair and the blazing blue eyes. You got a smile, lights up a room. Just this aura that, like, everybody just wants to share her their life story with. It's amazing. So that's what I start with. Okay. Now, the longer we dated, I started noticing other things that became even more important. I start noticing, like, man, she got, like, radically saved in college. She's the president of her sorority. She starts this Bible study in her sorority. She's leading all these sorority sisters to Jesus. She's volunteering at church every weekend. She asked this, my youth pastor's wife to disciple her. She's learning the scriptures, all this stuff. I was a. That summer, I was a camp counselor at a youth camp. And it just so happened that the youth group she volunteered in came to my camp while we were dating. She was an adult leader. So all week, like, I'm watching while we're dating, and like in the morning, I notice she's down by the lake. She's got a Bible in her lap. Like, she's up, like, meeting Jesus. She's worshiping her face off at night. She's, like, praying with all the kids. I see her praying with and encouraging one of the other guy leaders from the group that she brought. And I'm like, praying that God, make him fall off the rock climbing thing and snap his neck like what have you got to do? God, do I just eliminate, Smite him, You know, that kind of thing. I'm like, get him. But here's the point. So check this out, is that it started with attraction, but then I fell in love with her character. Okay, check this out. You really need to get this principle. Attraction can be the start of the relationship. It should be part of the relationship, but it cannot be the heart of the relationship. Book of Proverbs says this. Men, get this in your hearts. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. Listen, man, you can nip it, you can tuck it, you can bow tie. It doesn't matter what you do. Eventually gravity wins. That's what that's saying. That's a Bible verse. But watch this. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. So men like, let me talk about you, bro. Your looks are going to fade. It doesn't matter how hard you try, you're going to end up looking like a trash bag full of water. Every single one of you, all of you. Looks fade, but character grows. That's what you want to fall in love with. So, like, this is. We've been talking about Rooted. Rooted. We're going to start this in two weeks. You're going to hear a lot about it. Rooted is a 10 week discipleship experience. It's like boot camp for team Jesus. It's like, man, here's what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Let's teach you how you grow in a relationship with God in a very real way. And I need every single person to do it. You're going to hear about that. More than that in two weeks. We're going to help with that character. Keep going. Here we go. Now, when I read this, it won't make sense. And then I'll explain it and it will. Dark am I, the woman says, yet lovely daughters of Jerusalem. Dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon. Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother's sons were angry with me. This is a Cinderella situation. And made me take care of the vineyards. My own vineyard I had to neglect. Now, why is it saying that? Here's what's going on back in their culture. So in our culture, it's kind of like tan is in and pasties out. That's kind of like in general in our culture, what magazine covers do, Tana's in, pasties out. Back in their culture, it was the exact opposite. Because think about this. In their culture, if you were really wealthy. You were the only one that could afford to stay inside. And you could have pale skin. So having pale skin was like a status symbol. And people who had dark skin, real tan, that was like a symbol of like low class, worker class, that kind of thing. So in their culture, pasty was in and tan was out, and she was super, super tan. But watch this. But here's the big idea. But he was into whatever she was. Principle number four. A man of God's wife is his standard of beauty. A man of God's wife is his standard of beauty. Now, if that doesn't make sense, let me explain what I mean by that. This is really, really important. If you go back to Genesis, God creates one man. God looks at the man alone, and he's like one college guy in a dorm room. No help, no women around. That's not gonna go good. We need some female up in there. So then God goes, I'm gonna make a helper suitable for you. And God starts making stuff and showing it to Adam, Okay? So I think he's like aardvark. I think he's like, please, God, no. Like, please no. And sea bass, you know, rhinoceros. Please no. You know, and then God makes a woman, and whenever Adam sees the woman, he just bursts into song. I sang for you years ago. I'm never doing it again. Adam bursts into song. Okay? Now, we don't know what Eve looked like, but compared to the options, she was amazing. She was amazing. Now here's the big idea. Adam had one woman, so whatever she looked like, that was what was beautiful to him. Husbands. The New Testament calls you in the book of First Timothy to be a one woman man. So whatever she looks like, that's what you're into. That's your standard of beauty. Okay? So here's how this works. If they're tall, you're into tall. If they're short, that's me you're into. Short. If they're skinny, you like skinny. If they're not skinny, you're really, really into not skinny. Okay? Now you're like, wait, but what if they were skinny and now they're not skinny? Your standard changed and now you're into not skinny. Okay? Whatever she is, that's what you're into. Why? Because your wife is your standard of beauty. Here's the big idea. Men, husbands, men of God do not compare their wives to other women ever. They never do that. So here's what this means. This means stuff like no porn, no work, wife, no. My best Friend's a girl. But that's okay. It's not okay. When you got married, you stood at an altar and here's what you promised to her. You said these words, forsaking all others. Forsaking all others. Your wife is your standard of beauty. And that's it. Let's keep going. Next verse. I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh's chariot horses. Now don't go home and call your girl a horse. That's going to hit different. Now let me explain what this means. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings. Your neck with strings of jewels. We will make you earrings of gold studded with silver. Now here's what's happening. Back in their day, whenever Pharaoh, who was like the king of the biggest empire, whenever he would go out, they would find one horse in the kingdom that was like the most beautiful horse of all the horses. And it was always a mare. And they would send that one horse out in front of Pharaoh. Everybody would see it. Most beautiful one. And. And that would be a sign to everybody. The most important person was on the move. So what he's doing is he's saying you are as valuable as that thing. You are a symbol and a standard of value. Okay? Now principle number five. A man of God values his wife and treats her as valuable. A man of God values his wife and treats her as valuable. Book of Proverbs says this. An excellent wife who can find. She is far more precious than Jules. Do not answer this question out loud, man. This is a rhetorical question. You'll ruin everything if you answer this out loud. If I could go back and talk to your 21, 22, 23 year old self, and I gave you this choice. At age 21, you get a choice. Five million bucks, cash, no taxes. Or I can guarantee you get an excellent wife. Don't answer out loud. Which one would you choose if you didn't go, excellent wife. Hold up five fingers, make a fist, punch yourself in the face. That's real dumb. That's real dumb. Here's why. Because the Bible says this, that here's just. Let me boil everything down. Millions of dollars. With a bad wife, you're going to have a bad life. Broke, hard working, but broke. With an excellent wife, you're going to have an excellent life. See, this is it. She is valuable. Listen, if you got a godly girl in any way, listen to me. You have. I pray with people out there. You have no idea how. Listen. How rare a thing it is that you have a woman who wanted to Be in church with you this week. She is valuable. You should treat her as valuable. Now, here's what this means, men. The way. Listen at what I say right here. The way you use your words, actions, money, time and attention. Your wife ought to feel that she is precious to you. That she is precious to you. Okay? Now, man, check this out. Let me give you a little hint, dudes, because you're going to mess this up just like I did. You need to show her she's valuable in a way that communicates in her way that she's valuable. Here's what I mean. There's a whole Gary Thomas thing. The five love languages. There's five love languages. Okay, you need to get this. This is really important. Physical touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts. I'm gonna say them one more time. Physical touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts. And there's like one or two of those that your girl, that's the one that communicates to her heart. And the other ones don't as much. Okay? So for me, I got two love languages, two primary love languages. Physical touch and physical touch. Janet has figured that out over the years. Those are my two. I got two. That's it. Now, here's a problem, is that most men, we are simple creatures, very simple. We are so simple that what we tend to do is we tend to give what we wish we were gonna receive. So here's what I did early in marriage is physical touch is what communicates to me value, that kind of thing. So what I would do is when I wanted to make Janet feel valuable is I'd get all touchy. All touchy, touchy. Get at Pentecostal up in here. Lots of tongues. I'm laying on of hands, if you know what I mean. I would do that at Jana and Jana. Here's what's going on in Jana's heart. Jana's going, hey, if you want to make me feel valuable, how about we do some laundry? That's going to make me feel valuable. Hey, you want to make me feel valuable? Let's take a walk together. Quality time. That's what's going to help me feel valuable. So, men, what you need to do is you need to. I heard an amen over there. That's great. What you need to do. Encouraging. What you need to do is figure out which one communicates to her that speaks her and then you hit that target. Now, ladies, please listen. Let me just gently lean in with you. He is not a mind Reader, he cannot read your mind. Men are. Listen, in general, we're kind of dumb. So here's. We will not hit a target that is not drawn for us. So at some point, he may ask you the question, which ones of those do you think you are? And you don't need to get all offended that he should have figured it out without you saying anything. Like what? That's dangerous. That's a bold man down there. So what you need to do is ask. He may ask that question, and you need to be very clear with him what you think your love languages are. And then if you draw the target now, it's his job to hit him. Now, if you do that, men look at what's going to happen to her heart. Next verse. My beloved is to me, a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi. Now, someday, I hope I can take all of you to En Gedi. Go to Israel with me sometime. We're going to take all you there. I have been to this spot for you Bible nerds. En Gedi is the spot where David goes in that little cave of En Gedi and he hides from Saul and he cuts off the corner of his little robe thing. That'll happen at En Gedi. Here's what En Gedi is. There's a big old desert, and then in the middle of the desert, there's this one oasis with this gorgeous waterfall and this little stream and a bunch of plants and everything. Okay, so oasis, middle of the desert. So in the middle of the desert, it's a place you could go. Watch this. To get rest, replenishment. Husbands, your presence in your wife's life should be a place that she can go to get rest and replenishment. May I ask you this question? Husbands, when you walk in the door, does peace walk with you? That's what your presence should feel like in home and in her life. When you walk in the door, does peace and blessing walk with you? Okay, now let's go to the next principle. Here we go. How beautiful you are, my darling. Oh, how beautiful your eyes are doves. All right, now you're going to have stuff like this, the whole book, where it's like, we don't take it literally, we take it literarily because this is a poem. Now, I tried to get Chatgpt to give an example of what a woman with literal doves in her eyes would look like. I tried for like 10 minutes, and it couldn't do it. This was the closest it got. One time. That's the Closest it got. I don't know why it couldn't do it. For some reason, ChatGPT cannot. I should have tried. Grok would have been a little better. They're winning the AI race right now. That's a whole different discussion. So that's what's going on. Okay, so I tried. Now, here's what this means. But the big point is, the big point is that he is attuned. He's looking her in the eyes, and there's intimacy. Principle number six. A man of God is emotionally intimate with his wife. Okay, let's go back to Genesis 2:18. We're gonna do a little Bible nerd Hebrew lesson real quick. When God makes the woman for adam in Genesis 2, the two Hebrew words it uses to describe the woman are azer kenegdo. Go ahead and toss them up there. Azer kenegdo. Azer means helper. Kinegdo can get translated a bunch of ways. It means in front of or watch this. In front of or it can mean face to face. Face to face. Now, husbands, there are three types of marriages. You need to figure out which type of marriage. Not you. It doesn't matter what you think. You need to figure out what type of marriage your wife feels like she's in. Check this out. Three types of marriages. Number one, there are back to back marriages. That's where the spouses turn their backs on each other. They feel like strangers or enemies. This is where she gets in the bed and she faces that way. He gets in the bed, he faced this way. There's a little tension in the middle, and never the twain shall meet. Back to back marriage. Then there's side to side marriages. Side to side marriages are where two spouses feel like business partners. No emotional intimacy, no fun, no physical intimacy. It's just sort of like we're business partners. We focus on tasks, we get stuff done. It's house, kids, work. We're business partners. But the Bible gives the example of not. Not back to back, not side to side. The Bible gives the example of face to face marriage. The definition of marriage in the book Song of Solomon is, you are my lover and you are my friend. That's a biblical marriage. Okay? Intimacy means into me. See? So, husbands, here's the question. What kind of marriage does your wife feel like she has? Back to back, side to side, face to face. You need to know the answer to that question. Now. Ladies, can I lean in with you for a second? Help us out here. What you gotta understand. Ladies, I love you so much. You got to Know, men do. They just. They do relationships different than you do. So, like, when girls get together, do you know what y' all do? Y' all call your little girlfriends, and you guys come over and you all sit in chairs or on a couch real close to each other, cross legged, and you look at each other, like, right at each other, and you stare into each other's eyes and you talk very animatedly for a long time just while you're facing each other and talking to each other. Listen, what you need to know, ladies, is no dude in the history of the universe has ever wanted to do that with other dudes or anybody. You need to know that. So, like, if any dude ever asks me, hey, Josh, do you want to come over and sit on a couch with me, look at me and talk to me for a long time, my answer is no. Heck no, I do not. And the fact that you even asked me that question makes me real suspicious of you, bro. I'm avoiding you from now on. Like, real. I'm. I'm. My radar's up. I'm real. I'm avoiding you from now on. Okay, so check this out. So, ladies, early on in marriage, it's like, we had to figure this out. It was like I was trying to do this thing. Jan is like, hey, let's sit down on the couch. Like, literally cross her legs and just face me and like, okay, let's talk now. And I'm like, I can't do it. Okay. So here's what we had to figure out. Okay? You got to figure you out. We figured us out. But you got to figure out what it looks like. So for us, I don't miss date nights. It's a big deal. I open the car doors, I put on shirts with buttons on them. All the things I literally will sometimes may talk about this later in the series. I will bring, like, questions for us to talk about in the car so that I can hear about what's going on in her heart, all that stuff. Here's what Jan and I do right now. When the kids go down to bed, we take a 1.6 mile walk every single night. And after the kids go down, we do that little walk. And I'm asking questions like, hey, babe, how's your heart? What's going on right now? How are your. Are you struggling right now? How's it going? God gave Janet to me as my helper, and I need her help. That's what that means. I process decisions about the church with her. Janet is a very godly woman. What do you think about this person? What do you think the church needs right now? And we talk. 1.6 miles, big loop. 30, 40 minutes. We talk. We walk real slow, okay? Now listen. You don't gotta do what we do, but you gotta do something. There's gotta be some time, men, where you're not distracted. Put the phone down, Gollum, my precious. Put the phone down, Gollum. And at some point, there has to be time where it's like, I'm listening to you, your heart and your words. Man of God is emotionally intimate with his wife. I gotta finish this sermon. Number seven. The beams of our house are cedars, our rafters, our firs. What that's talking about is they got the upgrades on the custom build. That's what it's talking about. Number seven. A man of God is financially secure. I did not say financially loaded. I just said financially secure. He's doing his best to be financially secure. All right? Now check this out. First, Timothy 5, 8. It's a verse with a bit of an edge. It says this. If somebody does not provide for his own, especially his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than the unbeliever. Are there exceptions, medical exceptions, where it's like, hard time alive? Of course. But in general, this is just saying what a dude does. What a man does is he works hard so he can provide for his family and his wife and create a situation of financial security. Now, I want to talk to our young men real quick, because right now, younger men, you are being discipled by our culture. Exactly. Out of this. And I don't want the men of Lake Point to grow up and be a bunch of losers. So let me just talk to you in a very straightforward way real quick, okay? When I was younger and something was bothering me, my dad would sometimes tell me, if something's bothering me, I got two choices. I can complain about it or I can change it. Those are my two choices. Try to complain about it. Try to change it. Now, none of you are losers. I'm not calling anybody a loser. I'm trying to keep you from ever becoming one if you ever want. Here's how you become a loser and stay a loser for the rest of your life. You get into a job and you stay more focused on your hobbies than your job. So you work very half heartedly. When you get into a job, you have no career aspirations. And then once you get into a job, you complain all the time about how much you hate your job. I just hate my job. It's so hard. And it's not fun. My job's not fun, and it's not my passion. Okay, let me just say something to you. Here's a little grandpa axiom that is 100% true, son. You don't get up and go to fun. You get up and go to work. So this is just how it works. So here's what a lot of. And what I'm going to say right now has a bit of an edge to it. I am trying to protect you from becoming this type of guy. What a lot of young men in our culture do is they stay like boys. They carry boyhood into manhood, and they stay obsessed with their little hobbies, like gaming, instead of actually having a career aspiration. They don't work hard, and then they complain that they don't have better jobs and more money. And they resent the people who actually do work hard and make money. And then instead of working harder, they just vote for people who will take money away from the people who work and make it and give it to people who don't work and won't. That's what a lot of people do in our culture. Okay? So check this out. Now, I want to get. Listen, I want to give you encouragement. If you're a young dude, let me give you some encouragement. This is what I needed to hear when I was 20 years old. Here's how the world works. The marketplace is a competition, and you are going to have to outwork other men to succeed. That's how the marketplace works, okay? So check this out. Let me give you an encouragement. Here's my encouragement, okay? If you will just show up on time, have a good attitude, respect authority, and do what you said you were going to do, you're going to be ahead of 95% of the guys in our culture. You're going to crush. You're going to crush. That's all you got to do. You do those things. All right, all right. Let's land it. Okay, this sermon sort of just ends. Okay, here we go. Principle number eight. Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field. And this refrain is repeated three times throughout the book. Song of Solomon. Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Principle number eight, last one. A man of God is a man of sexual purity. A man of God is a man of sexual purity. Young men who are dating, here's what this means. You are not the leader of your girlfriend. Husbands are the heads of their households and their wives, boyfriends Are not the heads of their girlfriends. That's really important. Okay? But check this out. You do need to, in small ways, begin practicing for that in case you end up together. So check this out. I'm talking to young men. You're going to start dating. And when you start dating, you're going to want to do married people things. Why? Because you have been given a body that was designed to do married people things. So when you get into dating, here's your job. If you're a Christian young man while you're dating, your job is you set the sexual standard of the relationship. You're the one who early in the relationship goes, hey, babe. Actually, don't call her babe. That's weird. When you're early dating, don't do that. That's why I call my wife. You say, hey, here's where you're the one who goes. Here's what we are going to do and here's what we're not going to do. Here's where we are going to go and here's where we're not going to go. Here's when we are going to hang out. And here's where we're not going to hang out. It's probably real dumb for two Christian people who are attracted to each other to be alone in an apartment at 3am alone. That's probably real dumb. So you're the one. If you're a man of God, you're like, I'm a man of purpose. I'm a man of consequence. I'm a man of aspirations. I'm a man of character. You are showing her now that you're going to be that kind of man when she gets married. And watch this, watch this, watch this. Here's what you need to understand. If you do that, she is going to be radically attracted to your character and your purpose. So you need to understand that's on you, bro. You got to do that. Okay, now, so we all understand this theme of the series. We all get this. Sex is for married people only. And by married, I mean a biological man married to a biological woman for a lifetime. That's what marriage is. Okay? So now check this out. Sex is for married people. Sex is not for gonna be married people. Sex is not for used to be married people. And sex is not for. We're married in our hearts. There is no such thing as married in your hearts. Sex is for married people. Okay, So a godly man isn't asking, where's the line? Let me see how close I can get a godly man is asking, when is the time? I'm waiting for marriage. That's what he's asking. All right, now, last thing for a young man. Here's the other thing. This means you need to. If you're a young man trying to date somebody, you need to be clear with your intentions. When you're talking to her, you need to be clear with your intentions. If you don't, your ambiguity puts her feminine heart in a spot where you're putting her in a bad spot to awaken love before it might so desires. Now, here's what I mean. Back when I was dating in the late 1900s, when we rode dinosaurs to school, there was only two categories of a relationship when I was in high school, dating and not dating. Those are the only categories. I don't know what the heck y' all are doing now, but there's like 50 categories now. Okay. It's like, okay, we slid into the DMs, and then we're texting and then we're kind of talking, and now we're talking. And now it's a situationship and I don't know what it like, I don't know what y' all are doing. There's a lot going on. But check this out. If you're a young man who's a man of character, integrity and purpose, you want to be the guy who you state your intentions clearly with. A woman or a young lady that you want to date, because that puts her in a spot to know what's happening and she can guard her heart. Okay? So you need to do that. So let me give dating advice. Let me do that right now. I'm hoping this happens a lot. I hope during this series you may come and you may see some young attracted girls girl that's like on the guest services team. And you notice when she opens the door with her left hand, you're like, huh, I don't see no ring over there. That's interesting. So then what you start doing is you park in the same place every week and you go in the same door every week. That's not stalking, that's biblical. They do it in Song of Solomon, chapter one. I didn't have time to talk about it. And you start doing that. And about week five of the series, all of a sudden you're like, I'm going for it. She loves Jesus. She's at church. Here's what you need to do. You need to walk up to her and you need to be clear with what you're doing. You say something like, hey, I've been noticing you for the last few weeks. Would it be okay with you if I got your number? Because I would like to reach out to you to take you on a date. Don't leave it ambiguous. Don't be like, I want your number. Maybe we can hang out sometime. She doesn't know what the heck you mean by that. Clearly state your intentions. I would like to take you out on a date. Now, she may say no. If she says no, you can't get in your feelings and get butt hurt. She's allowed to say no. She don't want to. But if she says yes, then here's what you do. You call her. And then watch this. You set up a time. You can just Google romantic dates in Dallas. Like, it's gonna go great, bro. You're gonna do great. Google that. And then when you pick a time, and then here's what you need to do. Go back to principle number two. You take a shower, soap and water, maybe a little cologne. Definitely the deodorant, mouthwash, all the things you put on a shirt with a button on it, not your Metallica 94 shirt that you've had for 30 years or whatever it is. Then you pick her up, you go out and watch this. And you pay for it like a man. You pay for it like a man. Okay, now check this out. When you do that, ladies, if you get on a date with a young man and he asks you to pay for half of it. Run, Forrest, run. You have found a future, loser. Okay, run. And let me say this. And, men, if you get out on a date and she sort of blocks you, she won't let you pay for half the date because she believes in equality. Run, Forrest, run. She's gonna hate what this book says about marriage later. Okay? Run. All right, so all these things, this is what you got right here. Okay, Now I'm done. Sermon's done. Okay. Is that okay? Now, some of you, right now, where you're at is you're like, honestly, you're, like, maybe discouraged, and you feel a little convicted because you're going, man, honestly, I think I'm like, 0 for 8. Well, here's the hope of the series. Check this out. Bad men can become good men in the hands of the perfect man. Jesus Christ, that can happen for you, bro. That can happen for you. So here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna ask right now. I felt like the Holy Spirit told me to do this on Thursday. So we're gonna do it. I'M gonna ask at all of our campuses that every man stand up right now, and we're going to do something together. Every man stand up. Every man. And we're getting ready to. I felt like the spirit kind of told me to do this on Thursday. I spent two hours doing this. We are going to make a declaration about the men of Lake Point. We're going to declare the code of a man of God together. We're going to make some commitments. And if you've never been this before, that's what the grace of the Lord Jesus before. You don't got to be what you've been, because Jesus can do it in you. Okay? If you're not married, that's all right, man. You're making declarations about the kind of man you're gonna be. But at the outset of this series, we are committing to the type of men we're gonna be. And then we're gonna be those men by the power of the spirit. So here we go now. It's long. Just stick with me. All you gotta do is read with me and let's read it out loud. Go ahead and make it where they can see it. Let's read it out loud. Loud enough where the room can hear us. This is our declaration. Here we go. Follow me along. I am a man of God. God is my father. Jesus Christ is my Lord. The Spirit of God and the Word of God are my guide. And my family is my highest earthly calling. I am not a perfect man. I am a forgiven man. All my sins, past, present and future have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And I can now live free from the wrath of God and the power of sin, death and Satan. I will love my Savior, bless my wife and build my family with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Let's keep going. I am a purer man, forsaking all others. I will guard my eyes, heart and body for my wife alone. I am a man of purpose. I will work hard to bless my family and build the kingdom of God alongside my wife in noble endeavors all of my days. I am a prioritized man. No person or earthly pursuit will come between me and the wife of my youth. Let's keep going. I am a Bible man. I will be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like a man, be strong and let all I do be done in love. I am a repenting man. When I sin and I will, I will receive grace. Get back up and put my hand back to the plow in the joy of the Lord. And because I did not waste my life, but laid it down, my wife and my offspring for generations to come will be blessed because of me. I am a man of God. And as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.