"AT ONCE!" (w/ D'Arcy Carden)

Summary

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Las Culturistas: "AT ONCE!" (w/ D'Arcy Carden)

Episode Date: July 8, 2026
Hosts: Matt Rogers & Bowen Yang
Guest: D'Arcy Carden

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Overview

This lively, delightfully unstructured episode of Las Culturistas welcomes actor and all-around comedy treasure D’Arcy Carden for a conversation that ricochets between pop culture obsessions, actorly minutiae, inside-industry antics, playful games, and loving friendship roasts. Anchored in the celebratory launch of The Five-Star Weekend on Peacock, the discussion spirals through formative theater memories, flavor hot takes, kitchen woes, and the singular importance of Jennifer Garner’s “chicken lunch.” With signature chaotic wit, no topic is off-limits—and the laughs (and iconic quotes) land fast and loose.

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Main Themes

• Behind-the-scenes from filming The Five-Star Weekend
• Cultural touchstones & formative memories
• Irreverent “rules of culture” and language bits
• The experience of live performance, friendship, and comedy process
• Playful games and improvisational antics

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene / Establishing the Vibe

• The trio sets out to “catch a vibe” for this episode, signified by donning sunglasses and turning up the brightness (03:01).
• The main theme quickly emerges: “This is the Vibes. And for that reason we are wearing sunglasses for parts. For important parts to punctuate the conversation.” — Bowen Yang [02:48]

2. Fruit & Flavor Hot Takes

• A fierce, bizarre debate emerges about least favorite fruit flavors.
  • Matt: “Worst flavor on three. One, two, three.” (08:09)
    • Matt: “Grape.”
    • Darcy: “Grape. The flavor of grape is so different than a grape.”
    • Bowen: “I hate lychee.” [08:15]
    • Darcy: “I don’t like rosemary flavor. Oh, I also don’t like hazelnut flavor. Nutella. Almost impossible.” [11:27]
  • Rule of Culture #60, per Bowen: “A grape is 100% different than a grape.” [08:34]
• An extended riff on the etymology of food names (strawberries, hay vs. straw) with on-the-spot Googling.

3. Theater & Performance Memories

• Recollections of high school accompanists, classic musicals, and biopic preferences.
  • D’Arcy reveals she’s long practiced iconic movie flourishes “since I watched Grease the first time.” [06:42]
  • Bowen launches a debate on the differences between a memoir and autobiography. [04:03]
• The trio discusses The Five-Star Weekend cast, prepping for NBC upfronts at Radio City Music Hall, and the weird energy of performing for ad execs.
  • “Not a sound. Not a clap. Not a laugh. Not a nothing.” — D’Arcy [16:18]

4. Culture Awards Mayhem & Kissing on Screen

• D’Arcy and the hosts reminisce about presenting together at the Culture Awards—with jokes about “carrying on an affair” with co-presenter Joel Kim Booster (24:18), audience reactions, and devising on-stage sexual tension:
  • “We play two fishermen. They meet while they’re hunting.” — Matt, on a potential TV show pitch [25:54]
  • Candid discussion of stage/screen kisses, consent, and the weirdness of kissing straight men as a gay man; a vulnerable reflection from Matt:
    • “My only kiss on screen was with a straight man...[I] was a little bit, like, in my head the whole time, like, ‘I’m kissing a straight man.’” [29:16]
    • D’Arcy: “I have weirdly kissed so many people on camera...” [30:28]
  • How “kissing” can be a kink—and why intimacy/connection matter (“For me, it’s definitely kissing.” — Matt [31:55])

5. Games: “Name That Tune,” “Girl Game,” & “Penis Wiener”

• “Name That Tune” and impromptu karaoke breakouts with D’Arcy, leading to wordplay on regional language (“yins guys” for “you all”—a Pittsburgh/PA thing) [19:21].
• The “Girl Game”: identifying songs by singing just the word “girl” in the right pitch. Leads to a hilarious moment with “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” guessed through musical intuition [21:49—23:13].
• Explanation of “penis wiener” (the Carden household term for ‘same difference’ or ‘six of one, half dozen of the other’), and then a rapid-fire “Penis Wiener” game: Coke vs Pepsi, Jessica vs Ashlee Simpson [58:18–59:00].

6. Five-Star Weekend Cast Talk: Garner, Sevigny, Hall

• Explosive name drops: Jennifer Garner, Regina Hall, Chloe Sevigny—plus Gemma Chan, Timothy Olyphant, Judy Greer, et al [42:30].

Jennifer Garner

• “She was like the queen of food trucks. She’d get a food truck, like, weekly… She, like, had Gemma and I over to her house… just made us a chicken lunch.” — D’Arcy [43:17]
• Providing, glowing, and exuding care: “She is such a good friend. I could cry talking about her.” [44:50]

Chloe Sevigny

• “We played Pictionary for, like, two hours... Chloe looked at me and she was like, ‘What the fuck?’ and then… wink.” [49:41]
• Ultimate “it” girl, eternal cool, and the group's dynamic.

Regina Hall

• “Funniest person alive, driest sense of humor to a scary amount...” [51:02]
  • Regina’s legendary deadpan: “I haven’t even seen Gilmore Girls Season 1.” [51:37]
  • Joke to D’Arcy’s brother (an animation editor): “I edited Moana.” He totally believes her due to her seriousness [52:34].

7. Pop Culture, Language, & Inside Jokes

• Ongoing bits about pronunciations (Mario/Mario, crayon/crown), and regional linguistic quirks [57:04–57:44].
• Rules of Culture and verbal ephemera, e.g.:
  • “You know what creates pressure? Diamonds.” [60:46–61:02]
  • “Any coal is a goal.” [81:10]

8. Live Performance, The Pod, and Friendship Rituals

• Reflecting on the evolution of the pod, possible rebrands (“Just Lost Culture”), the anxiety/excitement of live TV, and the enduring friendship among the hosts and their recurring guests [90:20–91:13].
  • D’Arcy’s heartfelt praise:
    • “You stick to what you know is funny. You don’t sell out to anybody.... It is a weird comedy show that you guys are doing with uber celebrities.” [106:21]
  • “When I say it’s rare, I mean it doesn’t exist. It exists just for you guys. That’s it.” — D’Arcy [106:59]
• “Let’s get this bread” — the trio tries Meisner repetition exercises [73:00–74:06].

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “A grape is 100% different than a grape.” — Matt & Bowen [08:34]
• “Passion fruit should be the name for strawberry.” — Bowen [09:33]
• “Chicken lunch. She’s so. Chicken lunch.” — D’Arcy on Jennifer Garner [44:00]
• “She is such a good friend. I could cry talking about her.” — D’Arcy [44:50]
• “We should give [Regina Hall] her first Oscar.” — Bowen [53:23]
• “Penis wiener.” — D’Arcy, defining household lingo for “same difference” [56:23]
• “You notice I said it at once. I love Banh Mi at once.” — Matt [90:03]
• On live performance: “It sounds hard to me. It sounds like a nightmare.” — Matt [92:18]
• On love languages: “Words of affirmation. It’s my love language. What can I say?” — D’Arcy [66:08]
• On kissing as kink: “For me, it’s definitely kissing.” — Matt [31:55]
• “You stick to what you know is funny. You don’t sell out to anybody… It is a weird comedy show that you guys are doing with uber celebrities. It’s insane.” — D’Arcy [106:21]

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• 02:48 — “This is the Vibes.” Sunglasses, brightness setting the tone.
• 08:34 — Rule of Culture #60: “A grape is 100% different than a grape.”
• 11:27 — Flavors everyone hates; D’Arcy’s rosemary & hazelnut aversion.
• 16:17 — The dead silence of NBC upfronts at Radio City.
• 21:49–23:13 — The “Girl Game” (Britney Spears moment).
• 24:18/29:16/30:28 — On screen/stage kissing, consent, and awkwardness.
• 42:30 — FullFive-Star Weekend cast name drops.
• 43:17/44:50 — Jennifer Garner’s food truck generosity; D’Arcy’s emotional tribute.
• 49:41 — Chloe Sevigny’s iconic Pictionary moment.
• 51:02 — Regina Hall, comedy legend, dry humor.
• 58:18–59:00 — The “Penis Wiener” household language and game.
• 73:00–74:06 — Meisner repetition: “Let’s get this bread.”
• 90:20–91:13 — Podcast renaming debate; D’Arcy and Matt’s dad.
• 106:21 — D’Arcy’s heartfelt tribute to the Las Culturistas ethos.

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Tone & Language

• Upbeat, irreverent, deeply queer and pop-savvy.
• Tons of inside jokes, quick-witted asides, and linguistic playfulness.
• Celebratory of friendship, creative process, and what makes “culture” meaningful.
• No shortage of affectionate roasts and meta-commentary.

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Summary Table

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | Key Moments & Quotes | |-----------|------------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------| | 02:48 | Setting the episode’s “Vibes” | Sunglasses, “This is the Vibes.” | | 08:34 | Fruit flavor debate & Rule of Culture #60 | “A grape is 100% different than a grape.” | | 16:17 | NBC upfronts, dead-room story | “Not a sound. Not a laugh. Not a nothing.” | | 21:49 | “Girl” Song Game | Britney Spears guessed from a single “girl” note | | 24:18 | Stage/screen kissing & consent | Playful “affair” bits and reflections | | 42:30 | Five-Star Weekend cast highlights | Jennifer Garner, Regina Hall, Chloe Sevigny, etc. | | 44:50 | Emotional tribute to Jennifer Garner | “She is such a good friend. I could cry…” | | 49:41 | Chloe Sevigny’s Pictionary genius | “What the fuck? (wink)” | | 51:02 | Regina Hall, comedic mastery | “Funniest person alive, driest sense of humor…” | | 58:18 | Penis Wiener household language and game | Coke vs Pepsi, Jessica vs Ashlee, “penis wiener” rules | | 73:00 | Meisner repetition with “Let’s get this bread” | “Let’s get this bread.” | | 106:21 | D’Arcy’s praise for the show’s authenticity | “You stick to what you know is funny…” |

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Final Thoughts

This episode is quintessential Las Culturistas: a joyous stew of pop culture, theater geekery, affectionate inside baseball, and the relentless search for that perfect “vibe.” D’Arcy Carden radiates warmth and quick humor, and her stories about Jennifer Garner, Chloe Sevigny, and Regina Hall make The Five-Star Weekend’s cast sound as dreamy off-screen as on. Between homemade household slang and loving critiques of culture’s quirks, the trio reminds us that culture is best made—like “hot chicken on a plate”—in communion with people you love. Or, as they say, “at once!”

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Transcript

[Darcy Carden]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.

[Matt Rogers]

Sometimes the butt goes through a lot. When the butt speaks, we listen.

[Bowen Yang]

Preparation H is the butt care expert known for helping people care for their hemorrhoids with confidence. Medicated wipes to help keep things calm, cool and collected.

[Matt Rogers]

The rapid relief spray provides fast relief from itching, burning and swelling.

[Bowen Yang]

There's also a multi symptom relief cream when broader support is needed. Preparation Age treats the issue rather than just masking it. No shame here, only solutions.

[Matt Rogers]

So if a butt has been begging for a little kindness, wipe and treat for better relief with the number one doctor recommended brand, Preparation H. Hey, Bowen, is it just me or does it feel like nothing is actually what it says it is anymore?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, like when you order chicken fingers, you don't get feed fingers, you get mystery nuggets.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly. Well, except hotels.com.

[Bowen Yang]

i was gonna say hotels.com because they do hotels refreshing. And when booked as a member, rewards are earned every stay, not points that disappear. Rewards that work like cash and can

[Matt Rogers]

actually be used so the name checks out and the perks do too.

[Bowen Yang]

Yep, members can get up to 20% off tons of hotels with no blackout dates. Just works with real travel.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, that tracks.

[Bowen Yang]

Hotels.com. it's all in the name.

[Matt Rogers]

Take a look under your kitchen sink sometime. How many cleaners are down? One for the bathroom, one for the floor, one for the kitchen. Little ridiculous. That's why Pine Sol makes so much sense. Pine Sol is a powerful, versatile cleaner with hundreds of uses. It's tough on messes all throughout your home, from floors and countertops to appliances, outdoor spaces. And more powerful, effective and not afraid of a little challenge. Plus, Pine Sol comes in a variety of scents, from classic pine to fresh florals or the lush smell of an island getaway. You can find one that's just right for your home. It's instant fresh air optimism. Like your whole home just got a reset. Less clutter. Powerful clean. Pick up pine salt today in store [e-mail] use as directed. Look, man, there. Oh, I see my eye. Oh, my. Bowen, look over there.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow.

[Darcy Carden]

Is that culture? Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Goodness.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Las Culturistas Ding Dong.

[Matt Rogers]

Las Culturistas calling live from Hollywood.

[Bowen Yang]

Live from Street. Well, we should cut that out. We shouldn't give. We shouldn't give an address.

[Matt Rogers]

We shouldn't. Well, we are, because if you said the street, it's one of those streets that's so small in LA where. If you said the street, everyone would know exactly where to come.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's only a million People on this fucking street every time I come here.

[Matt Rogers]

You don't have to use fresh language. We're catching a vibe today. We said this was gonna be the Vibes episode.

[Bowen Yang]

This is the Vibes. And for that reason we are wearing sunglasses for parts. For important parts to punctuate the conversation.

[Matt Rogers]

I do think it's a lot brighter in here than usual.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Oh, God. We know. We had an accompanist in high school. His name was Robert Lowe.

[Matt Rogers]

Like Rob Lowe.

[Bowen Yang]

Like Rob Lowe. And he was this, I don't know, we'll call him a cool cat, but he would clearly come in hungover.

[Matt Rogers]

Ugh.

[Bowen Yang]

So ho. And he would wear sunglasses, stroll in at 3:30pm on a Tuesday. And then we'd be just running our, you know, our scales on stage. And then there was just one day. I'll never forget it. He goes, God, can we just turn these lights down? While wearing sunglasses, Robert, Like Rob Lowe, you are so ho.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, to say nothing of how the other Rob Lowe is hot. One of my favorite celebrity memoirs is Rob Lowe's I think first memoir, because I think he has more than one. Anna, could you look up if Rob Lowe has and how many autobiographies Rob Lowe has? It's going to be important for the conversation.

[Bowen Yang]

Now what do you think is the difference? I mean, I mean there, there are like, you know, things that are characteristic of an autobiography and a memoir and a memoir. An autobiography, comprehensive, chronological.

[Matt Rogers]

And a memoir can be sort of just a glimpse, expository. Yeah, I prefer a glimpse. It's actually Rollercoaster number nine. I prefer a glimpse. When it comes to biopics, I would like to see, like this is the week I really hurt my leg. But by the end of the week I still did the show. Yeah, I'd rather see. Overcame leg injury and did the performance, the program. Then this is what happened when I was six. You're gonna see me in old age makeup at 99. I don't give a fuck.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't give a fuck how many memoirs.

[Matt Rogers]

One autobiography. Oh, I bet that's really good. I bet that's really good. You know, speaking of collection of humor.

[Darcy Carden]

Yes. Good job.

[Matt Rogers]

I was looking at the cast list. You're gonna, you're not even gonna believe this.

[Bowen Yang]

A five star weekend.

[Matt Rogers]

Ah, yes, yes, yes. And not only was our guest in the show, I have a feeling that's why maybe she stopped by today. Like maybe a little show starting on July 9th on Peacock. Catch a vibe, why don't ya? But also Regina Hall, Chloe Sevigny, Ever heard of it?

[Bowen Yang]

Ever heard of it?

[Matt Rogers]

Ever heard of that? Our producer, Rebecca, is slippering through the door like Chloe Sevigne.

[Bowen Yang]

There we go.

[Matt Rogers]

Like Chloe Sevigne. Slipped into this cast.

[Bowen Yang]

Slipped into the cast. But she's. Chloe would never be caught dead in Los Angeles. The water's too hard for her.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, she might be caught dead in this show because we're hearing that there is a ton of suspense and drama as well as Jennifer Garner. And she can do it all.

[Bowen Yang]

Absolutely.

[Matt Rogers]

So good in 13, going on 30. So good in love. Simon. Yes. So good in Alias. But she's not here.

[Bowen Yang]

She's not here. Our wonderful friend is.

[Matt Rogers]

She's catching a vibe.

[Bowen Yang]

She's catching a vibe. We have very fond memories of her in this space, in this very building.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

This is the night when she popped in for our great global songbook episode. Huge.

[Matt Rogers]

I love this place.

[Bowen Yang]

I love this place. I love this woman. Meaning la.

[Matt Rogers]

Meaning Darce. And I said the name a little early. I shot the load, but I'm sucking the load back up to shoot it again. That's how it works. That's how it works in la. Please welcome Darcy Carden.

[Darcy Carden]

Hey.

[Matt Rogers]

How long have you been able to do that trip?

[Darcy Carden]

Since I watched Greece the first time.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. They do that in Greece. That's right. See, my head's too big.

[Darcy Carden]

I feel like it's like, brush up, brush up, brush up, brush up, brush up, brush up, brush up.

[Matt Rogers]

That's a highlight of that film.

[Darcy Carden]

That is in a film of highlights.

[Matt Rogers]

Really good. Every scene. Oh, I'll take all of them off.

[Bowen Yang]

Come on.

[Darcy Carden]

So bright. Robert.

[Bowen Yang]

Robert, love. Hello.

[Matt Rogers]

I think I might be a little hungover.

[Darcy Carden]

Do you think? So what was last night?

[Bowen Yang]

We went to Jar last night.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, fine. Did you have the lychee martini?

[Matt Rogers]

Should we have.

[Darcy Carden]

It's famous for.

[Bowen Yang]

Can I just say something? This is not my own thinks of honey. But I said this at the gold gala in front of many high profile Asians. They were like, what's your hot take about Asian culture? I go, lychee looks and feels like glands. Gonads test it.

[Darcy Carden]

For sure it does.

[Bowen Yang]

Why are we like, okay, popping that into our mouths?

[Matt Rogers]

It's veiny. It's so messed up. So wrong. It's just messed up.

[Darcy Carden]

If you unzipped a testy squirted out whatever in there, it's going to be a leachy.

[Bowen Yang]

It's going to be in that martini.

[Matt Rogers]

Let me tell you something. The balls I have in my mouth that don't Taste like lychee. Fold the inside.

[Darcy Carden]

The taste.

[Matt Rogers]

To say nothing of my current same sex partner. I am making a joke, Fraser. I'm not commenting on his smell or taste of liquor.

[Darcy Carden]

You kind of did. Which was that it was good.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, someone's gonna. Someone's gonna be down there for me and say, oh, I love these lychee.

[Darcy Carden]

Well, I think that's good. You want it to.

[Bowen Yang]

Exactly.

[Darcy Carden]

You'd rather it was lychee than stinky.

[Matt Rogers]

Worst flavor on three. One, two, three.

[Darcy Carden]

Going out.

[Matt Rogers]

But it's a tie with mango.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. Grape.

[Darcy Carden]

Grape.

[Matt Rogers]

I hate grape.

[Darcy Carden]

But you hate grapes.

[Bowen Yang]

Are you kidding me?

[Matt Rogers]

You hate grapes.

[Becca Ramos]

Flavor.

[Darcy Carden]

I love grapes. I know. Wait, what are you drinking?

[Matt Rogers]

I love grapes. I hate grapes.

[Darcy Carden]

The flavor of grape.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

The flavor of grape is so different than a grape.

[Matt Rogers]

100%.

[Darcy Carden]

A grape is 100% different than a grape's. Yes, a grape is 100% different than a grape.

[Bowen Yang]

And that's rule of culture number 60.

[Matt Rogers]

A grape is 100% different than a grape.

[Darcy Carden]

A grape is 180 degrees different than the flavor grape.

[Bowen Yang]

Very good. Now I do want Rob Lowe.

[Matt Rogers]

Rob Lowe. Turn the lights up. 180 degrees. Different than Robert Lowe.

[Bowen Yang]

I need for us to go back to what Matt also said in that statement, which is, he doesn't like mango.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, you don't like mango. The fruit is one of the best.

[Bowen Yang]

One of the best fruits.

[Matt Rogers]

That's what I said, wasn't it? Exactly what I said. So why I feel the need to ask a question?

[Bowen Yang]

You said you didn't like mango, which is. I've never heard anyone in my life deride mango.

[Matt Rogers]

Had you been listening to me at dinner last night? I did say it at dinner last night.

[Darcy Carden]

You said it last night because you were like, I don't want a mango.

[Bowen Yang]

You had a side conversation. I was not included.

[Matt Rogers]

It was a sorbet option.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, and you said not mango for me.

[Matt Rogers]

I said. I said no, thank you. And I also said no thank you to passion fruit. One of the other worst.

[Darcy Carden]

What? You got your taste buds on wrong, doll.

[Matt Rogers]

But daw.

[Darcy Carden]

But doll, here's my thing.

[Bowen Yang]

I was going to save it for it. I don't think so, honey. At a future time and you can. Passion fruit should be the name for strawberry.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh my. Wait, let me take it all in.

[Bowen Yang]

Passion fruit should be the name for strawberry. Okay, why is it called strawberry? A, Straw B. The most passionate fruit is strawberry.

[Darcy Carden]

Easily looks like a heart.

[Matt Rogers]

Can I ask a question about where they. Where strawberry bushes most grow? Is it in the. Is it amongst straw?

[Darcy Carden]

Is it among straw?

[Matt Rogers]

Like, could that be true?

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, I do feel like horses eat straw and horses like strawberries, so they gotta be close to each other if I know anything about horses. Straw and strawberries.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

But I thought they liked carrot.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, here I am thinking carrots.

[Matt Rogers]

They definitely do like carrots.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't think straw the same thing as hay. And if so I'm right.

[Matt Rogers]

Becca or Anna, we actually are going to need a Google.

[Bowen Yang]

Need some help.

[Matt Rogers]

Is straw the same thing as hay?

[Darcy Carden]

Is straw the same thing as hay?

[Bowen Yang]

Now, carrot is the right name for

[Darcy Carden]

that name for that for sure.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, okay.

[Darcy Carden]

So straw and hair. Hay is a nutrient rich feed. Hey.

[Matt Rogers]

It's a nutrient rich feed.

[Darcy Carden]

Legumes.

[Matt Rogers]

Straw is golden yellow.

[Bowen Yang]

Wheat.

[Darcy Carden]

Wheat and wheat.

[Matt Rogers]

Or oat.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, so. Didn't realize they were both food. Thought they were literally sticks.

[Bowen Yang]

Sticks where I suck up my drink.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, yeah, right. Hollow sticks, AKA straws.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. So what was your favorite?

[Bowen Yang]

So my thing is passion fruit should be the name for strawberries.

[Darcy Carden]

Strawberries.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm there with you for that.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't think so, honey.

[Matt Rogers]

Strawberries being the name of strawberries being named after.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, and that's what.

[Bowen Yang]

That's. That's all. That's all I'm saying.

[Matt Rogers]

It's gonna be hard, but I think we can do it.

[Darcy Carden]

And then what was the flavor that you said you hate?

[Bowen Yang]

I don't hate my flavor. Oh, I just said stinky.

[Darcy Carden]

Stinky.

[Matt Rogers]

And I said stinky is not a flavor. Oh, what's a flavor?

[Bowen Yang]

I hate lychee.

[Darcy Carden]

Lychee.

[Matt Rogers]

You hate lychee?

[Bowen Yang]

Despise lychee.

[Darcy Carden]

What do I hate? I definitely hate some things, but I also love so many things down to the purest flavor.

[Matt Rogers]

You don't want to offend anything.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't like rosemary flavor.

[Bowen Yang]

Interesting.

[Matt Rogers]

You don't like.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, what's that about?

[Darcy Carden]

I don't know. Just like. Oh, I also don't like hazelnut flavor.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, you don't.

[Darcy Carden]

Nutella. Almost impossible.

[Bowen Yang]

Charming.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah. That's gonna be hard. So rosemary. You ever have like a rosemary infused drink? To me, it's a total. I don't think it ever makes. Yeah, it's a total mango for me.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, exactly. It's a total mango for Matt.

[Bowen Yang]

For.

[Matt Rogers]

If anyone ever gave me a drink with rosemary in it, I would say, hey, can you throw this out?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I know.

[Matt Rogers]

Mary. I don't like it as a name either.

[Darcy Carden]

Do you remember. Do you remember that musical Rosemary? Can you Name it. You know it so well.

[Bowen Yang]

Sounds like.

[Darcy Carden]

Does that sound like Matthew Broderick singing it?

[Matt Rogers]

No.

[Bowen Yang]

What were they?

[Matt Rogers]

Rosemary, tell us.

[Darcy Carden]

It's a question.

[Matt Rogers]

How does the gator business?

[Darcy Carden]

I guess that's a Google, actually.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, that's a Google.

[Matt Rogers]

That's a big blind spot for me. But did you hear about this?

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Cynthia and Ariana are both gonna be in very, like, you know, not oft produced Sondheim musicals. Cynthia is doing Passion with Jonathan Groff, directed by Jamie Lloyd.

[Darcy Carden]

Ooh.

[Bowen Yang]

And Ariana and Jonathan Bailey are doing such a great job.

[Darcy Carden]

And spin around. Take your Jonathan.

[Matt Rogers]

Gladly.

[Bowen Yang]

Those are great Jonathan.

[Darcy Carden]

Those are two of the best Jonathan's. I mean, like, those are two of the best Jonathan's in the history of America.

[Bowen Yang]

Of Jonathan.

[Becca Ramos]

Or England.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, the world over.

[Matt Rogers]

Who sucks? That's Jonathan.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, there are some Jonathan Swift, Jonathan Franzen.

[Darcy Carden]

Jonathan. Okay, stop.

[Bowen Yang]

Put the pen down.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, right, right.

[Matt Rogers]

Jonathan Taylor Thomas. You didn't have staying power. Oh, yes, you did.

[Darcy Carden]

He's like, my children.

[Matt Rogers]

They're listening to this.

[Darcy Carden]

They might be.

[Matt Rogers]

Or if they are, maybe they are in the future. Oh. Oh, gosh.

[Darcy Carden]

You did it.

[Matt Rogers]

I would hate for Jonathan Taylor Thomas's kids in the future to be like, I'm going to listen to every lost cult and they get to whatever this is 549 or whatever.

[Darcy Carden]

Guess they didn't like Dada.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, no.

[Darcy Carden]

Guess they didn't like D. They're 30,

[Bowen Yang]

but they're calling him Da.

[Darcy Carden]

Da. He makes them.

[Matt Rogers]

Can I just. Can I just clear up? I've loved Jonathan Taylor Thomas from the very beginning because I was doing a bit.

[Darcy Carden]

And also you were like, if. If I can't have him, no one will. Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm always like that.

[Darcy Carden]

I know you are. Yeah, yeah. You're always that.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm always saying that to people.

[Bowen Yang]

You're always saying that to people.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm always saying to people, if I can't have them, no one can.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm always doing.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm always saying stuff like that to him.

[Darcy Carden]

Saying stuff like this.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, we can. We can talk about it. It's been out for weeks.

[Darcy Carden]

You guys know it. You love it. We're talking about the culture wars, the culture wards.

[Bowen Yang]

Darcy did it for a second year in a row.

[Matt Rogers]

I can't believe we've really cracked open like this. Sort of, you know, Cagney and Lacy of our time. And it is you and Joel Cairn.

[Darcy Carden]

That's so funny. That's so funny.

[Matt Rogers]

You will always present together at the controversial.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, Please don't make promises your ass can't deposit. Yeah, don't write checks about my ass.

[Matt Rogers]

Depositing my ass. Other people do depositing with my ass. I would love a deposit in my ass right now. Literally. I've been vocal about it.

[Bowen Yang]

I need a deposit. Need to pause.

[Darcy Carden]

Get on. Get on it, hun.

[Matt Rogers]

Need to pause. Need to pause on my depos.

[Darcy Carden]

Need those paws on my.

[Bowen Yang]

On my deposit.

[Matt Rogers]

And that's the wit and humor that booked you the five star weekend. Tell us about it.

[Darcy Carden]

That was pretty much my audition. The pause.

[Matt Rogers]

You're in. You're in.

[Bowen Yang]

You're in. You're in. You're in.

[Darcy Carden]

The five star weekend.

[Bowen Yang]

Five star weekend.

[Darcy Carden]

We love it.

[Matt Rogers]

Amazing family.

[Darcy Carden]

Peacock is an amazing. When you're here, you're Peacock. When you're family, you're Peacock.

[Bowen Yang]

You're Peacock.

[Matt Rogers]

Everyone, we all saw each other at the upfronts and we're like, Kelly, this is crazy.

[Darcy Carden]

I know. It was like, it felt what. It was at 10 in the morning and we were.

[Bowen Yang]

Monday.

[Darcy Carden]

It was a Monday. Everyone was sort of like freshly coffeeed, you know what I mean? It was a little like, ah. It felt a little like, ah. And then we were about. I'm sure, of course, you guys had rehearsed, but we hadn't rehearsed. So what we're talking about, listeners, is we did something called the upfronts for NBC where you basically, like, get. You basically like, sell your show to like a bunch of ad people.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

And we did it at the Radio City Music hall. And it was packed ass, but quiet. The gills, but quiet ass. We hadn't rehearsed anything. So you're backstage at, again, Radio City Music hall, and I don't even know which way is what curtain is going to open. And then it opens and you're on stage at radio. It's so overwhelming. And there's this sea of lovely, wonderful people that don't want to make a noise.

[Matt Rogers]

No.

[Darcy Carden]

Not a sound.

[Matt Rogers]

Nope.

[Darcy Carden]

Not a clap. Not a laugh. Not a nothing.

[Matt Rogers]

Not a no.

[Darcy Carden]

But that's okay. And we love you and we hope that you love us and. Buy it. Please buy it.

[Matt Rogers]

Buy it.

[Bowen Yang]

Please buy it.

[Matt Rogers]

Whatever it is, you better buy it.

[Darcy Carden]

Better buy it.

[Bowen Yang]

Better buy it.

[Darcy Carden]

But it was really, I mean, not to like, break it down too much, but guys, it's so fun seeing you at shit like that.

[Bowen Yang]

It's.

[Matt Rogers]

It does warm my heart to see.

[Darcy Carden]

Of course it does.

[Matt Rogers]

Any, like, real genuine friend there. I'm like, hi. Because then it's just like, you Turn the corner. And it's like an over caffeinated person from like, from like a procedural.

[Darcy Carden]

Yes. Somebody that you've maybe watched on TV for 20 to 30 years. And I'm like, oh, yes. And we know each other.

[Matt Rogers]

We were coming off stage and we were sort of like jaunting off, like, hey, we did it. And then it was just Mariska, of course it was being like, that was great.

[Darcy Carden]

I was like, hi, nice to meet you. Yes, totally. And of course, when you're peacock, your family, so you have to kind of act like your sisters.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah. She's cousin.

[Darcy Carden]

She's cousin.

[Bowen Yang]

She's cousin for show.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, she's.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, what. What's your vibe when you're back in New York City?

[Darcy Carden]

I love it so much.

[Bowen Yang]

You love it so much?

[Darcy Carden]

Don't you love it so much you hit the restaurants? Oh, I love hitting restaurants.

[Matt Rogers]

And the theater.

[Darcy Carden]

And the theater can't be beat. I love hitting the goddamn theater. I just saw Maya and Omar.

[Matt Rogers]

How was it? Your lover?

[Darcy Carden]

So good. My lover? It was so good. Did you say you love her or my.

[Matt Rogers]

Your lover? I said your lover.

[Darcy Carden]

Said my lover.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, but I love her. And I do love her and I

[Darcy Carden]

love her, but my lover. Yeah, it was amazing. And I'll just. I'll just see that every, Every, every new cast until I die. I can't. I love it so much.

[Matt Rogers]

I think I've seen. The only one I missed was. Oh, I missed John Cameron Mitchell because I wasn't there the entire time. But I'm a completist.

[Bowen Yang]

You're a completist?

[Matt Rogers]

I'm seeing every Mary I missed Krakow.

[Bowen Yang]

Ugh. I know.

[Darcy Carden]

Well, I'm going to see her this week, so I'll call it Krakow. And what I'm doing is I'm flying to Ireland, huh? For like two nights to do an episode of Celebrity Name that Tune. It shoots in Ireland because I bet

[Matt Rogers]

it's cheaper to do that than in LA. Unbelievable. And yet, believe it, I get to

[Darcy Carden]

donate $100,000 or something like that to charity. And it's gonna be amazing. Wonderful. And also I'll win because I'm really good at being that tune.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Or maybe I won't be in my head.

[Matt Rogers]

So let's practice.

[Darcy Carden]

Ready?

[Matt Rogers]

Go.

[Darcy Carden]

Corianne Bailey Ray. Why did I say Corianne Bailey Ran Bailey Ray?

[Matt Rogers]

Corrine Bailey Ray. But you were right. I like Corianne.

[Darcy Carden]

Corianne was my college Corianne.

[Matt Rogers]

Corey Ann.

[Bowen Yang]

My way.

[Becca Ramos]

Yes.

[Darcy Carden]

Go put Yawn's records on. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Love that That's a great twist. I love that twist.

[Darcy Carden]

Did I make up yawns? I think my sister and I said yawns. Like. Like Y O N s for your.

[Matt Rogers]

No, no, no yawns. But I think yawns is cry when you see this.

[Bowen Yang]

Sa Yan. No, Yan is in like Christmas Carols. But I think you and Miranda did invent it.

[Darcy Carden]

I think we did. And we say yin. But yin, I think is like Pittsburgh

[Bowen Yang]

or something like that.

[Darcy Carden]

Yin's guys. Like yin's guys.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I haven't heard.

[Bowen Yang]

Yin's guys.

[Darcy Carden]

Google it. Google it. Google it. Yin's guys means like ustetas like you all. You all. You all go. Yin's guys got to go down to the bar.

[Matt Rogers]

Yin's guys got to go to the john. You never heard this before.

[Darcy Carden]

John is like your. And that's just Miranda and Darcy talking.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm going to say the state of Pennsylvania has come up with the craziest English language.

[Darcy Carden]

Totally.

[Bowen Yang]

Or just the uses of words for sure.

[Matt Rogers]

It's time for round two of Name that too.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. It's hard. Sorry.

[Matt Rogers]

Sorry. The artist is calibrating. Okay, here we.

[Darcy Carden]

Can I have this song again, please?

[Bowen Yang]

I. I know it.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Darcy Carden]

You're going to a different part. Yes. Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

This is the verse.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, yeah. Since you took your love.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Darcy Carden]

Nothing. Yawn pairs to yaw.

[Matt Rogers]

That wasn't so good.

[Darcy Carden]

It was so good.

[Bowen Yang]

I think this is a perfect time to introduce a game that I don't think will succeed.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, great.

[Bowen Yang]

But it's called the girl game.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah. This is good. This is good.

[Bowen Yang]

We all take a turn and we sing. We think of a song that has the word girl.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

We sing the pitch of one girl in the song.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

And then we have to guess what song you're thinking of.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. And when he says we sing the pitch.

[Bowen Yang]

So.

[Matt Rogers]

So if it was my girl, it would just be girl.

[Bowen Yang]

For example, for a girl go put you on records on. I would have gone girl.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Okay. Okay, Wait. Okay, okay. So you just do the girl. The girl moment.

[Bowen Yang]

The girl moment.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

So do you want to give me

[Darcy Carden]

one sec to just think of a girl song?

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. It's actually hard.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's quite hard. Maybe too hard because also we can

[Darcy Carden]

take a beat and they could cut out the this dead ass air fart. I don't know if you guys do things like that.

[Matt Rogers]

All the songs I'm thinking of are, like, too hard. Like I want to do it's about to be a girl fight. But then it would Just be no girl.

[Darcy Carden]

Right. But maybe he would have gone girl. Wait. Okay, let me just think.

[Becca Ramos]

Girl.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, I got. Okay, wait. Okay, Ready?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Girl. One more time only.

[Matt Rogers]

Good.

[Darcy Carden]

But no.

[Bowen Yang]

One more time. One more time.

[Matt Rogers]

I. I think I was the.

[Darcy Carden]

No, that was. Yeah. Okay. I don't want to give you anything away.

[Matt Rogers]

It's okay.

[Becca Ramos]

Girl.

[Darcy Carden]

A little different.

[Bowen Yang]

Girl.

[Becca Ramos]

Close.

[Matt Rogers]

Girl.

[Bowen Yang]

Girl.

[Darcy Carden]

Girl.

[Matt Rogers]

Girl.

[Darcy Carden]

Do you want me to give you, like, any more?

[Bowen Yang]

Give us the.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Should I give you, like, a.

[Bowen Yang]

The no.

[Darcy Carden]

Like the word before or give us

[Bowen Yang]

a word far away from the girl?

[Darcy Carden]

How about this? I'm gonna go like this.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Becca Ramos]

Girl. Girl.

[Bowen Yang]

Boom. Woman. I'm not a girl.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm not a girl.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't tell me what to believe.

[Darcy Carden]

Not yet.

[Bowen Yang]

A woman.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm just trying to find the woman in me.

[Darcy Carden]

Go ahead. That was really good. All I need is time. Time.

[Bowen Yang]

A moment that

[Darcy Carden]

while I'm in between.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, I'm not a girl. I'm emotional. Wait. Because you want to know what? We never sing on the podcast anymore.

[Becca Ramos]

I know.

[Darcy Carden]

It's been so long. Honestly. You did a little singing with. With Josh and Aaron, I feel. But not a lot.

[Bowen Yang]

But not a lot.

[Matt Rogers]

That's just Broadway.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, that's true.

[Bowen Yang]

That's just Broadway. You inspire the music.

[Darcy Carden]

Guys. I love the. I love the music.

[Matt Rogers]

I love the music, too. Let's take it back to music.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Play. Girl. Whose turn?

[Bowen Yang]

It's a flawed. It needs one new rule.

[Darcy Carden]

Well, we have to work. I mean, we have to, like.

[Matt Rogers]

I have one.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Ready?

[Darcy Carden]

Get it ready. And then Katie Couric will nail it.

[Becca Ramos]

Ready?

[Bowen Yang]

Go.

[Matt Rogers]

I can tell you been crying and you need somebody to talk to. Girl. Destiny's Child together.

[Darcy Carden]

You guys have twins? You know, like, when twins or siblings have, like, correct pitches together.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I think it could be true that we are somehow.

[Darcy Carden]

I think so, too. God is so big.

[Matt Rogers]

How did you feel about us getting sexual with each other at the Culture Awards?

[Darcy Carden]

It was. Well, it was like. It was legitimately hot. Who was I sitting next to?

[Matt Rogers]

You were sitting next to Joel Kim.

[Bowen Yang]

Jason.

[Matt Rogers]

And Jason, your husband.

[Darcy Carden]

Sitting next to my husband and Joel.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, weren't you next to your husband?

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, I was in.

[Matt Rogers]

Or was it someone else?

[Darcy Carden]

No, it was my husband.

[Matt Rogers]

No, you've been carrying on an affair with Joel Kim, and it's over.

[Darcy Carden]

What if I was carrying.

[Matt Rogers]

It ends today.

[Darcy Carden]

Today is the day that it ends. What if I was carrying on an affair with Jason?

[Matt Rogers]

For decades, my husband and I have been carrying on an affair.

[Darcy Carden]

But I Called him my husband, but it was an affair.

[Matt Rogers]

We find out you have like, your actual husband from Loot. Yes, he's very old.

[Bowen Yang]

Very old. Okay, I. Jason's looking good.

[Darcy Carden]

Jason always looks good.

[Matt Rogers]

He's always hot.

[Bowen Yang]

He's always hot. Can we just say that?

[Darcy Carden]

He's so hot.

[Matt Rogers]

Let us do it once.

[Darcy Carden]

No, he's so hot. You can.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, if he wants to.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Can we do it? So hot. I love this part.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, me too. I love that part of a man.

[Bowen Yang]

He likes that. Those parts too. On you, right here.

[Matt Rogers]

What's going on with you? Speaking of a man coming in here.

[Darcy Carden]

Can you hear?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Speaking of the man in our life always, always handling our long pole.

[Darcy Carden]

And should I. Is this about good?

[Becca Ramos]

You're.

[Darcy Carden]

You're perfect. Okay, okay.

[Bowen Yang]

You're perfect.

[Matt Rogers]

He's just anal, even though we asked him yesterday. Ever tried it in the butt? No.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, so obviously Britney and Mallon. So hot.

[Bowen Yang]

They're so hot.

[Darcy Carden]

They're so hot. They're so hot. On the show, but in. On their show, but on stage, in person. You guys, I'm so sorry. Brittany and Mal and you guys are so hot. But you guys actually hotted them down. No, I mean, because we've also seen them like, eat each other out.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, but you guys, like, we haven't seen you guys eat each other out, so it's so exciting to see you.

[Matt Rogers]

Hunting Wife, season two, we play two gay guys who eat each other out.

[Darcy Carden]

Fishing husbands.

[Matt Rogers]

We play two fishermen they meet while they're hunting.

[Darcy Carden]

I'd watch it.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, hello.

[Becca Ramos]

Hello.

[Matt Rogers]

Fishing husbands.

[Darcy Carden]

I would watch it.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's just an HGTV sort of tone. We're just picking out decor.

[Darcy Carden]

I think you should do that. But you guys really had something like you were. You guys did a great job. And I know it's sibling off. You know what I mean? Like old man.

[Matt Rogers]

He told me earlier in the week that I had to be slower and more sensual with him. And he said, I know it's weird. And I was like, I'm gonna do it.

[Darcy Carden]

Don't talk about it.

[Bowen Yang]

I just wanted to get on the same page. Cause in the choreo rehearsals, Matt was doing a thing just like, I was being silly.

[Matt Rogers]

I was being silly.

[Bowen Yang]

And putting his arms in the air, doing this.

[Darcy Carden]

And then I'm watching back.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm like, it's funny, but it's like, I think we need to. We need to make people feel slightly uncomfortable.

[Darcy Carden]

It was so. I mean, it was actually like heated rivalry. It was like, you guys really were doing the slow, sexy. Can I chime in and say absolutely yes.

[Matt Rogers]

And again, the peanut butter. Are you agreeing?

[Darcy Carden]

It was so hot. It was so hot. And again, Malin and Brittany, you're so hot. Eat each other out every day for the rest of your life on camera. But I really liked watching you guys get sexy with each other. Sorry. I guess I'm into incest.

[Matt Rogers]

There was. There was so much great incest. Woman on woman, man on man. In the show, I loved when Aidy Brian said I would never eat much,

[Darcy Carden]

much, even in a crunch.

[Bowen Yang]

I felt like siblings. When you and Paul were kissing.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Paul and I have kissed before.

[Matt Rogers]

You've made out before?

[Darcy Carden]

Well, not made out, but we've kissed. We did this, like, wedding web series for Broad City.

[Matt Rogers]

Feels right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And your characters.

[Darcy Carden]

I feel like we. We just. We just did the same thing that we did on the show, which is like, we improvised a kit. I mean, we, like, it wasn't. There was no intimacy coordinator.

[Matt Rogers]

It was an Easter egg for fans of the B.C.

[Darcy Carden]

i feel like I. I feel like I should read the text that I sent you guys, which is that, oh, so cute. Paul texted me and said, do you know I'm playing Shrek? And I said, just found out. So excited. And he wrote, like, something like, if

[Bowen Yang]

you consent, I will give you next task. Next text.

[Darcy Carden]

A kiss.

[Bowen Yang]

A kiss.

[Darcy Carden]

And then I said, I was just about to say we should kiss. So it was a mutually agreed upon kiss.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes. Consent. Just like we talked about in the piece.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. I love consent.

[Matt Rogers]

Love consent. I'm enthusiastic for it.

[Darcy Carden]

I wish I had tongued him down a little more because he kind of. He would have.

[Bowen Yang]

But that's another layer of consent.

[Darcy Carden]

We think, well, you just. You don't want to be the one. I do remember, like, my first stage kiss.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

In a play, someone tongued. I tongued.

[Bowen Yang]

That's okay.

[Darcy Carden]

I. I tongued in like a. Like a. You have to tell in like a. What was it like? Almost like a response. Like a. Yeah. You know. You know when the doctor goes like this. Yeah. It was almost like a reflexive thing. And I. And I. I think I also kind of had a crush on at the time, so maybe I was like, who was it? You wish You.

[Bowen Yang]

You don't want to say. I mean, I said Robert Lowe's name.

[Darcy Carden]

If I said it.

[Matt Rogers]

Is he a person today?

[Darcy Carden]

He's a person that lives today. Oh, he's no longer an actor, but that.

[Bowen Yang]

I think. I don't want.

[Matt Rogers]

Because of that.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I don't want to make you. I don't want to make you say.

[Darcy Carden]

And one of those great actors that you're just like.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I mean.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, where I'm like, your gift.

[Matt Rogers]

Your gift.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Your voice, your gift.

[Darcy Carden]

But also, he gave it to us for a long time.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm done with this.

[Matt Rogers]

There you go.

[Bowen Yang]

Gave it to us.

[Darcy Carden]

And people are going to. But I do remember I kind of tongued him down.

[Becca Ramos]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't mean I was like. Like this. Like, I just kind of, like, tongued, and then it was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And he was like, it's okay.

[Matt Rogers]

My only kiss on screen was with a straight man. And he was lovely, but I was nervous about it the whole time because

[Darcy Carden]

I'm thinking of it.

[Matt Rogers]

His name is Jono Wilson. It was on the show.

[Bowen Yang]

I love, you know, the best.

[Matt Rogers]

So handsome and great, and he was so lovely. But I was just like. I was a little bit, like, in my head the whole time, like, I'm kissing a straight man. And then I did a little internalized homophobia of like, I shouldn't even be here.

[Darcy Carden]

You guys had good chemistry, though. I shouldn't even. I shouldn't even ex. Exist. I shouldn't even be on this planet.

[Matt Rogers]

I was kind of like, ugh, the straight man has to kiss me. A gay guy. I didn't think of it. I didn't think of it. Like an actor has a job and is kissing another actor. I was just, like, flagellating. Like, I can't believe it. I shouldn't be here. Wait.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm so sorry. This is actually really sad. That's tough, because it sucks that you had to, like. No, I know, I know, I know. But also, even that. That would just even crush you.

[Matt Rogers]

But it is, like, a thing.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, it is such a thing. Totally.

[Matt Rogers]

I never want anyone to feel when I'm kissing them, like they don't want to do it.

[Bowen Yang]

Consent.

[Matt Rogers]

How serious are we getting?

[Darcy Carden]

Just a little.

[Matt Rogers]

I loved it. That was our first kiss.

[Darcy Carden]

I know.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm in the Paul Downs club.

[Darcy Carden]

I have weirdly kissed so many people on camera.

[Bowen Yang]

That's wonderful.

[Darcy Carden]

Not a lot on camera stage, but so many people on camera. I kind of can't believe it.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, comedians, they have. You have too.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I have.

[Matt Rogers]

You've made out with some of the elite.

[Darcy Carden]

Truly some of the hottest women alive.

[Bowen Yang]

A list mouths one title of epic.

[Darcy Carden]

A couple. Honey.

[Matt Rogers]

A list mouths Ariana Grande.

[Bowen Yang]

A. Oh, Ariana list.

[Matt Rogers]

SS SS Sydney Sweeney, Sweenes, Gina Gershon,

[Bowen Yang]

Judy Gershon, and ScarJo. Oh.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, kind of the.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, you're right.

[Darcy Carden]

The world's hottest.

[Matt Rogers]

I also want to tell you that

[Darcy Carden]

the greatest Johns in America.

[Bowen Yang]

The greatest John.

[Matt Rogers]

Had I known that there would be mouth on mouth today, I would have shaved a little bit.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, no. Yesterday, that was good.

[Darcy Carden]

Did it all.

[Matt Rogers]

Today we went to go meet Sudi's baby.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh.

[Matt Rogers]

And I went down to kiss the baby, and I was like, I can't because of my. My beastly face.

[Darcy Carden]

So you're kind of like. Every time you kiss someone, you're thinking, like, I'm a piece of.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm like, talk about. Sorry.

[Darcy Carden]

God, you are a.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it's my king kink. How do you know we haven't stumbled upon, finally, the discussion of my kink on this show, which is kissing.

[Darcy Carden]

Kissing? No.

[Becca Ramos]

Feeling.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. Feeling like a little dirty pig.

[Bowen Yang]

Feeling like a dirty pig.

[Darcy Carden]

Feeling like this. I don't deserve to be kissing.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, that's so interesting.

[Matt Rogers]

Back in the day, when I was on Grindr, and people would sometimes go, like, any kinks?

[Darcy Carden]

Right, right, right.

[Matt Rogers]

And I'd be like. I'd be like, not really. I mean, I guess this.

[Darcy Carden]

This.

[Matt Rogers]

And they'd be like, for me, it's definitely kissing.

[Darcy Carden]

Kink kissing.

[Matt Rogers]

Some get. Some people think that that is, like.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, sometimes. Some people want to focus on that.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. Does sometimes a kink mean, like, I need this? No, he means, like, to me, kink means, like, this is a strange one. But here's my thing.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm into it.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think it's something that people do. I think it's something that this guy did because. And that was indicative to me of, like, oh, you're not like, an intimate. You're not into looking for sex on this app for, like, intimacy and passion. You're into, in your words, to bang out and plow.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh. Oh, interesting.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Darcy Carden]

Interesting. Even with kissing.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

No, well, I'm just saying, like, if someone's like, I'm into kissing. I feel like it's like, Well, I. I would have. I would have assumed.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, so what are you saying? That if someone says.

[Matt Rogers]

It was just funny because he. The introduction of the conversation was, what's your kink?

[Darcy Carden]

Right?

[Matt Rogers]

And I said, okay, it's this and this. And he was like, for me, it's, you know, eye contact, kissing in the things that. For me, I was like, yeah, for sure. It feels like normal.

[Darcy Carden]

We'll do that. Yeah, yeah, totally. Totally.

[Matt Rogers]

I'M try that.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm gonna go ahead and try that.

[Matt Rogers]

I'mma try that.

[Darcy Carden]

And how was he?

[Matt Rogers]

I didn't go.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, good.

[Bowen Yang]

Happens all the time.

[Darcy Carden]

I lost contact. No wi fi, for example.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm drowning. Oh, no.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm fishing.

[Bowen Yang]

Fishing. Husband.

[Matt Rogers]

I just remembered I had a fishing trip.

[Darcy Carden]

I've got no service on the lake.

[Matt Rogers]

There is no way.

[Darcy Carden]

No, I'm back from the lake after I caught my bass and my big seabirds.

[Bowen Yang]

Jason a fisher guy?

[Matt Rogers]

Golfer.

[Becca Ramos]

No.

[Bowen Yang]

What's his most like, husband?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. What's his most male hobby?

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Not fishing or golf. His most male hobby. He's like, fix whatever the.

[Bowen Yang]

That's hot.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, I guess that's his most male.

[Matt Rogers]

He's a fixer.

[Darcy Carden]

He'll fix, you know, like. Like if something's broken, he'll fix it.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, what's the craziest thing that he could just fix or has just fixed?

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, to me, anything with a car blows my mind.

[Bowen Yang]

Are you kidding?

[Darcy Carden]

Like, anything with a car blows my mind. I'm like, how. This is. This is science.

[Bowen Yang]

This would kill me.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. I'm like, I couldn't even fathom so that, like, just recently had a car thing that he was like, I'll just buy the thing and I'll fix it. And then he did it.

[Matt Rogers]

And then also I'm gonna say it in the car. What button does what?

[Darcy Carden]

What button does what?

[Bowen Yang]

What am I looking at?

[Darcy Carden]

I'm sitting here going, what button?

[Matt Rogers]

What's this?

[Darcy Carden]

I don't go.

[Matt Rogers]

This ever happen to you? Yeah, the whole dashboard changes color and you're in a different mode.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't want that.

[Matt Rogers]

You're in like ultimate Speed Racer mode.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't want to be an ultimate speed Racer. Sometimes it does it day to night. That can be confusing. But just so you know that does that. Like, like, like when the, the, the like sun changes, it might go into to dark mode. Don't be scared.

[Bowen Yang]

Right? I'm. I'm here going.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm here going.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm supposed to be looking at the road, right?

[Darcy Carden]

Why am I looking at.

[Becca Ramos]

Right.

[Darcy Carden]

Computer.

[Bowen Yang]

Why am I looking at. Why is it computer school?

[Darcy Carden]

Why am I. Why am I sitting here in computer school when I'm supposed to just be dry and in driving class and driving

[Matt Rogers]

class, driving world to computer school when I had to in seventh grade and I mean, there was a period where we had to go to computer school. Computers.

[Bowen Yang]

And it was. And then you Would you do kid pics?

[Darcy Carden]

Kid pics? Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Kid pics.

[Darcy Carden]

Wait I feel like. I feel like Miranda and I. Miranda again, my sister. I feel like we learned how to like. Okay, tell this. I feel like is from kid pics. Ah. BAE say day.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. When you would type out the letters. Yes.

[Darcy Carden]

It's like, ah. They say I'm gonna get him wrong.

[Matt Rogers]

I miss fa.

[Bowen Yang]

I miss fa.

[Darcy Carden]

Like hota.

[Bowen Yang]

You learn Spanish through kit pics.

[Darcy Carden]

But then my favorite was his voice would go like I or whatever. Y, Z, what is. And also, I don't know if I'm doing it right. I'm sitting here talking kid pics.

[Bowen Yang]

No, we're talking kid pics.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm actually just quoting kid pics.

[Bowen Yang]

You're quoting kid pics. But in Canada, kid pics would do French where they go whoa. And you'd be like, yeah, that's right.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, yeah, that is right.

[Bowen Yang]

So at kid.

[Darcy Carden]

Sorry.

[Bowen Yang]

California kid pics must have been a vibe banging.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, yeah, kid pics.

[Bowen Yang]

Anyway. But that was computer school.

[Darcy Carden]

And that's going to be computer school.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I didn't do any of that.

[Darcy Carden]

Fun to think back on computer school because. Well, first of all, all those teachers are dead.

[Matt Rogers]

I thought about that the other day.

[Darcy Carden]

And if not dead in life, dead in practice. Because those computers. Oh, yeah, those computers are big pieces of cement.

[Matt Rogers]

They're dead professionally, certainly.

[Darcy Carden]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Dead personally, likely, possibly.

[Darcy Carden]

They spent all their little lives on computers and now computers are in our freaking eyeball.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I have it in my eyeball. Yeah. I can't get away from it. There's 17 computers in this computer.

[Darcy Carden]

I have computer, computer, computer, computer, computer.

[Bowen Yang]

Literally. Literally. Literally.

[Matt Rogers]

We basically are all computer.

[Bowen Yang]

Wasn't it always cunty when not Regis but Meredith Vieira on Millionaire would go computer eliminate two of the answers when they would 50, 50. Anytime Meredith Vieira would ask for the computer, I'd be like, yes, bitch.

[Matt Rogers]

We need more Meredith. What shumba was that?

[Bowen Yang]

That was 12.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, 12.

[Matt Rogers]

12.

[Darcy Carden]

Anytime they. Meredith.

[Bowen Yang]

Meredith would have been. No, don't.

[Matt Rogers]

It became a lot of different things.

[Bowen Yang]

Ideas. Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

And they'll figure it out.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Too many ideas.

[Darcy Carden]

No, no, no, we're good.

[Bowen Yang]

We're good.

[Matt Rogers]

There was a lot of ideas, but one strong idea was the five star weekend. And I'm so happy it got made

[Darcy Carden]

such a strong idea.

[Matt Rogers]

Can you talk about the camaraderie on set?

[Darcy Carden]

I'd love to.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

This is so dumb, but I actually would love to.

[Matt Rogers]

Please tell us about it. And you know what has our favorite people in it?

[Becca Ramos]

No.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Should I tell you some of them? You mentioned some at the Top. But I wasn't here.

[Bowen Yang]

Regina Paul.

[Darcy Carden]

Cast. Wait, I just said cast. But I meant to say listeners. Listeners, Cast. Listeners at home. I was here. Yeah, that's what you don't know when they're talking at the top. I was here the whole time.

[Bowen Yang]

Don't ruin the spell.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, now that they know, we have to change the whole top of the show. And now a quick break from our sponsor, Vital Proteins.

[Bowen Yang]

And it is Vital Collagen Peptides is a wellness supplement that supports healthy hair, skin, nails, bones and joints.

[Matt Rogers]

When we hit 30, our body's collagen production starts to drop. And that's when Vital Proteins steps in.

[Bowen Yang]

Their iconic blue tub is everywhere. People love Vital Proteins, in part because it's so easy.

[Matt Rogers]

Just mix it into your coffee, tea or smoothie and you're good to go.

[Bowen Yang]

Right now, you can get 20% off your next order by going to vitalproteins.com and using promo code LAS CULTURISTAS2.0 at checkout.

[Matt Rogers]

Huge thanks again to our sponsor, Vital Proteins.

[Bowen Yang]

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

[Matt Rogers]

This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

[Bowen Yang]

Time for some prep wisdom.

[Matt Rogers]

But first, some common sense people. Everyone is different. Every one? Yes. Even you? Yes. Even your situationship.

[Bowen Yang]

Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options. Not all the same.

[Matt Rogers]

That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

[Bowen Yang]

Did you know there's more to consider about long acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine, your chaos level, your I might forget my own birthday energy. All of it counts.

[Matt Rogers]

Basically, talk to your doctor, have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed. Encouraged, even. Okay. Did you write all that down? No, don't worry.

[Bowen Yang]

Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com this message is brought to

[Becca Ramos]

you by Apple Card. Sometimes life's journeys take you on the roads less traveled. That's why Apple created the Titanium Apple Card to use anywhere in the world where MasterCard is accepted. Plus, with Apple Card, you can earn unlimited daily cash back on every purchase every day, whether you're in Paris or Palau. And no matter where you are with Apple Card, you won't pay annual fees or foreign transaction fees. No Fees, period. That's the power of Apple Card. Apply in the Wallet app on iPhone and use it right away with Apple pay. Subject to credit approval. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 17.49% to 27.74% based on creditworthiness rates as of July 1, 2026. Existing customers can view their variable APR in the Wallet app at card.apple.com Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch terms and [e-mail]

[Matt Rogers]

hey, Bowen, is it just me or does it feel like nothing is actually what it says it is anymore?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, like when you order chicken fingers, you don't get fingers, you get mystery nuggets.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, except hotels.com I was gonna say hotels.com because they do hotels refreshing. And when booked as a member, rewards are earned every stay, not points that disappear. Rewards that work like cash and can

[Matt Rogers]

actually be used so the checks out and the perks do too.

[Bowen Yang]

Yep, members can get up to 20% off tons of hotels with no blackout dates. Just works with real travel.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, that tracks.

[Bowen Yang]

Hotels.com, it's all in the name.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, it is possible to have high end taste without a high end budget. I'm serious. You don't need a trust fund or a mysterious rich aunt. You just need to shop at the right place. And by right place, obviously we mean Marshalls. Marshalls is giving quality, they're giving style. You know, they believe everyone deserves access to the good stuff. And honestly, honestly, same. Which is why we're telling everyone about Marshalls. The question is, how do they do it? Well, simple. Their buyers are out there hustling for deals, finding the must haves of this season. So they're why we can find amazing cashmere sweaters, Italian leather handbags, brand name beauty, and so much more. That's right. They're sourcing standout pieces, scoring deals on designer goods that are actually trending. Which means all of us get access to brands that feel very now and very premium. People love to say you have to constantly hunt for deals. And I'm like, why? If Marshall's buyers are already doing the absolute most, you don't have to. Marshalls likes to say, we get the deals, you get the good stuff. And let me tell you, it's true. Like actually true. Period. No notes.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, so here's who we're talking about. Yeah, you got Jen Garner, you got Regina Hall, Chloe Sevigny, Gemma Chan, you got Timothy Oliphant, Harlow, Jane, Wes Duchovny, Josh Hamilton, Judy Greer, okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Judy Greer and. And Jennifer Gardner in the same thing.

[Matt Rogers]

Once again, I think that might be right.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, I think that's right. Wait, 13 going on 30 reune. Not to mention catch and release. Reune with Timothy Oliphant and Jenny G.

[Matt Rogers]

It's a catch and release reunion. I have to ask about a few of the cast members and I'm going to ask.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm an open book, honey.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm going to ask the same question about all the them. What was the most Jennifer Garner thing.

[Becca Ramos]

Oh, great.

[Matt Rogers]

She did on set.

[Darcy Carden]

Well, okay. The few that are coming to mind.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Darcy Carden]

She was like the queen of food trucks. So she would always get. She'd get a food truck, like weekly.

[Matt Rogers]

Love that. Which just is taken care of.

[Darcy Carden]

Taking care of the cast, the children.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

She, like, had Gemma and I over to her house. She would have had Regina and Chloe, but they were in New York and just made us a chicken lunch. Just whipped up a chicken.

[Matt Rogers]

I love it.

[Darcy Carden]

Lunch. Just like delish.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Darcy Carden]

You know what I mean? Like that type of thing where you like just. Oh, let me just whip you up a chicken.

[Matt Rogers]

So she was providing.

[Darcy Carden]

She's a provider. Yes, she's a provider also. I mean, I could talk forever about her also. Like, let me just think what I want to say here, because.

[Bowen Yang]

Chicken lunch.

[Darcy Carden]

Chicken lunch. She's so. Chicken lunch.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, but.

[Darcy Carden]

But also not sandwich lunch.

[Matt Rogers]

No, chicken lunch.

[Darcy Carden]

Chicken lunch.

[Matt Rogers]

Hot chicken on a plate.

[Darcy Carden]

Hot chicken on a plate.

[Matt Rogers]

The best vibe, hands down.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Hot chicken on a plate.

[Bowen Yang]

Chicken on a plate. Oh, here's some pan socks.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

Grilled chicken.

[Darcy Carden]

She's like pounded chicken. Panko.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Darcy Carden]

Fried or. Yes, delish. E. I said delish. Fries. Shoot me down.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I love delish.

[Darcy Carden]

What's wrong with Bullet in my head?

[Matt Rogers]

What's wrong with delish?

[Darcy Carden]

Tell me now. No, she's just.

[Matt Rogers]

She glows.

[Darcy Carden]

She is so busy. Yeah. Family, career, acting beyond everything. Also, like, charities, like traveling. She's so busy, but reaches out. She is such a good friend. I could cry talking about her.

[Matt Rogers]

Really?

[Darcy Carden]

She's such a thoughtful, generous. Like, you can't believe the care this person puts into her relationship. She's is. She is like. She's the greatest.

[Matt Rogers]

Jenny G. Do you know my story about her?

[Darcy Carden]

Tell me.

[Matt Rogers]

I was doing the ride.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I was singing on the street.

[Darcy Carden]

Great.

[Matt Rogers]

You remember because Darcy is already. For those who don't know, it was a sideways facing bus. Tour bus. Thirteen and a half feet tall. It rode around. Comedians slash hosts were on the bus narrating and There were some people on the street performing, and I would do both. But this day, I was performing on the street in front of Carnegie Hall. I was getting ready to. To walk down the street, have the bus pull up and have them be like, who's this guy? Let's see if he'll wave to us. And then start singing my song, which was. I know you're lying cuz your lips are moving.

[Darcy Carden]

Tell me, do you think I'm dumb?

[Matt Rogers]

Sure was.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Megan Trainor.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, great.

[Matt Rogers]

And as I'm singing it, the. The bus starts freaking out.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. You're like.

[Matt Rogers]

And I'm like, oh my God. I almost slaying down today to Meghan Trainor and the guys. There's like a saxophone playing along song. And I turn around and the bus drives away. And they freaked out for me. I ate. And the saxophone guy goes. I was like, wow, we killed that. And he goes, yeah, I know. I think they just noticed Jennifer Garner. And I was like, what? And apparently Jennifer Garner had like, stood by me while I sang the whole time and did a whole thing like with the bus, like, oh my God, she's.

[Darcy Carden]

She's a performer.

[Matt Rogers]

And then by the time I had turned around, she was like rounding the

[Darcy Carden]

corner, like totally chic.

[Matt Rogers]

And I. She was like a phantom.

[Darcy Carden]

Yes. I love that. I mean, like even that. Just like, she knows who she is. She's like, I'm going to talk to you, Bess, and then I'm going to walk away. I'm not going to give you too much because I got to take care of me.

[Matt Rogers]

It was wild stuff.

[Darcy Carden]

That is amazing. God, you're, you're. You're going to love her.

[Matt Rogers]

When, you know, when, when we meet her.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, we. I have thoughts.

[Matt Rogers]

We reached out to her to come to the Culture Awards, actually. We wanted to accept the award for best thing to say to a gay guy, which was, you can breathe now, Simon.

[Darcy Carden]

Is that. She'll do. She'll do it. We talked about it last year.

[Bowen Yang]

We tried to make it happen.

[Darcy Carden]

Go through me next time.

[Bowen Yang]

But you know what?

[Darcy Carden]

I'm not kidding. It'll happen.

[Bowen Yang]

I. I tefully believe I have always loved her.

[Darcy Carden]

And she talked to me about the

[Bowen Yang]

show last year, what she did.

[Darcy Carden]

So she want.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, she saw you say Megan Alacuista.

[Darcy Carden]

Absolutely.

[Bowen Yang]

Megan Alaquista. Transphobia.

[Matt Rogers]

Does she agree?

[Darcy Carden]

She totally agrees.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

She says Jennifer Garner says Megan Alacrita.

[Bowen Yang]

The gender binary.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

What was the most Chloe Sevigny thing that she did on set?

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, my God. So Many good Chloe things. Okay. I'm just thinking of, like, the very first time we met. Okay. Okay. Well. Okay, first. This is just cool.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

I went vintage shopping.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yes.

[Bowen Yang]

In Los Angeles.

[Darcy Carden]

In Nantucket.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, bitch.

[Matt Rogers]

Excuse me, ha.com.

[Darcy Carden]

because ha.com, we. Is that what you said? That was really [e-mail] biz. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Biz. He's crazy. Take your face. Not gov. In this climate.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Hey, Trump, can you hear my. We're coming for you, baby.

[Darcy Carden]

Can you hear my spine cracking? Yeah, that feels great.

[Becca Ramos]

Hey.

[Matt Rogers]

Hey, Donald Trump. We're coming for you, baby.

[Darcy Carden]

Hey, Donald Trump. My spine is cracking.

[Matt Rogers]

And Mr. Trump, if you're listening, my spine is cracking.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, So I just remember. Okay. Imagine if you will.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, I will.

[Darcy Carden]

I've taken it back. Okay. So I was the last. Last of the five to get cast.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you.

[Darcy Carden]

We started. I got ca. Thank you. I started. I got cast. And we started filming not but days later. 5 stars then 5 days later. So Minky Spiro, the amazing director, had this idea of bringing the five of us, five women who had never worked together before, didn't really know each other at all.

[Matt Rogers]

Very different women.

[Darcy Carden]

Very different women.

[Bowen Yang]

Very Spice Girls.

[Darcy Carden]

Very Spice Girls. And I'm like, all right. Are we. Who is. And then her idea wasn't just that we were gonna, like, eat lunch together, but we were gonna play Pictionary together for, like, 90 minutes. Or maybe it was two hours.

[Matt Rogers]

This is Zoe's idea.

[Darcy Carden]

No, this is Minky.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

So anyway, this is how we got to know each other, is we sat in a living room and we played, like, these busy, busy women that were, like, prepping to start shooting the show, and me being like, I'm here. We played Pictionary for, like. I feel like saying two hours is an exaggeration, but I literally think it was. Cause we kept being like, another round. Like, really. But it was so fun. So fun. So fun. But I have this great memory of Chloe. Oh, my God, I love her so much. We weren't on the same team. It doesn't matter. I was basically helping someone else, like someone that wasn't on my team, where I was, like, giving him a little hint. And she looked at me and she was like, what the fuck? And then she was like,

[Matt Rogers]

what the fuck?

[Becca Ramos]

What the fuck?

[Darcy Carden]

Wink. And that's kind of Chloe in a nutshell. Just kind of like the ultimate IC girl.

[Bowen Yang]

Eternal cool girl.

[Darcy Carden]

So cool. Just the. Just amazing. And, like, I don't know what it was about. You know, this just happens.

[Bowen Yang]

You.

[Darcy Carden]

You. I don't know why this particular group meshed like this, but we just, like, got into it really fast. It was like. It was like girl time every day, five of us, a lot of group scenes. So we're all just sitting around. There was, like, no topic, off limits. We just, like, got deep fast. I don't know why. It was just one.

[Matt Rogers]

You tend to do that.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't. I mean, I will. I'll go where the. The wind blows me.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

But I don't. Like what. I mean, whatever. What is that like?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I guess a lot of people would call it, like, trauma dumping. When it's a mutual thing, it can be quite beautiful.

[Darcy Carden]

We were sort of just, like, open.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

It was not like. It wasn't necessarily trauma dumping. Although. Trauma down.

[Matt Rogers]

Trauma down.

[Bowen Yang]

Whatever you got.

[Darcy Carden]

But it was like. Like, it was just like. It wasn't a bunch of women kind of holding it in.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Or like, close to the woman.

[Matt Rogers]

It wasn't like this high. It was high.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, exactly. It was like. And, yeah, it was. It was just like, tell me about it. And then what happened?

[Bowen Yang]

It was. It's five. It's five of you who people have obsession over.

[Darcy Carden]

It's. It's the. I'm obsessed. I have obsession over. Wait, I just thought of a Regina.

[Matt Rogers]

No. That was gonna be next, if you could believe it.

[Darcy Carden]

Can you just imagine this woman? She's the funniest person alive, and she has the driest sense of humor to a scary amount where you don't know if she's joking, lying, telling the truth. It's, like, genius level dry. But we were talking about. Hold, please. Happy Gilmore coming out. And this is just a little funny thing she said. We were talking about who's gonna see it, whatever. And she goes. Because I haven't even seen Gilmore Girls season one.

[Matt Rogers]

That's really funky, because I haven't even seen Gilmore Girls season one.

[Darcy Carden]

Right. And so she's like, so how am I gonna see the movie? And then you're like, what? You're trying to like.

[Matt Rogers]

She's ahead of it.

[Darcy Carden]

She's also, again, off in a puff of smoke. You're kind of, like, trying to catch up.

[Bowen Yang]

No, she's. I'm obsessed with how, like, slippery she is.

[Darcy Carden]

Can I do one more?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, please.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, my God. They're just popping into my head.

[Matt Rogers]

So this is, like, kind of what this podcast is. It's like, Reg hall was good this day.

[Becca Ramos]

Exactly.

[Darcy Carden]

That's kind of what this podcast is. Regina hall being good. This day, I introduced her to my brother, who is an editor for animation. Animated movies. And I said, this is my brother Will. He works with Netflix. Beep that. Just kidding. He's an editor. And she goes, I'm an editor. And I know right away she's lying, but I keep going. And I say, and I'm an editor. And then I say, he does animation. And she goes, goes, I edited Moana.

[Matt Rogers]

This fucking legendary.

[Darcy Carden]

So my brother has, like a good detector.

[Matt Rogers]

I edited Moana.

[Darcy Carden]

And he totally believed her. She's so dead ass.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm an editor. I'm now picturing her, like, major coming through. How far I'll go.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, she just really. She's really quick and really, really funny.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, she's a legend.

[Bowen Yang]

She's a master at throwing something away. Because one of the best line reads in any comedy ever is, who the fuck did that?

[Matt Rogers]

Who the fuck did that? Who the fuck did Scary.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't know. I mean, like, where does she.

[Bowen Yang]

No, right.

[Matt Rogers]

She's just funny. She just is good.

[Darcy Carden]

Like, she's so naturally funny.

[Matt Rogers]

That's the thing ultimately is when you come. When it comes down to it, some people just, like, are good.

[Darcy Carden]

Totally, Totally.

[Bowen Yang]

Undeniable.

[Darcy Carden]

I know. Undeniable.

[Bowen Yang]

I think we should give her her first Oscar.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, I know, I know. We should hand it to her.

[Matt Rogers]

I think she's gonna get one.

[Darcy Carden]

I do too.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Also, this was fun when Battle came out in Nantucket. So we went together. There's one movie theater in Nantucket and it. And it has one screen and it was playing Major. It was playing one Battle. And so we all went with her, like a lot of people. And it was really sweet. It was so exciting. It was so exciting.

[Bowen Yang]

That shot of her in the mirror telling Chase, like, you have to come with me. I'm like, chills, chills.

[Darcy Carden]

This is so fun.

[Bowen Yang]

She's perfect.

[Darcy Carden]

Restrained, beautiful. I mean, she's perfect. She's. She's incredible.

[Matt Rogers]

She has so much gravitas as an actor. Have you seen Support the Girl girls?

[Bowen Yang]

No, but I gotta say, good in that.

[Darcy Carden]

God, why haven't I seen this yet? I've heard it's so good.

[Matt Rogers]

So good. Yeah, yeah, she's amazing. She was like the manager of a Hooters, like, looks out for. Supports the girls.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, it's the girls. Is it also sort of like a play on bra?

[Matt Rogers]

Literally?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, Support the Girls. They're like. They work at like a Hooters, you know? You ever think about it?

[Darcy Carden]

Doing Hooters?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Going to Hooters I've been. Have you enjoyed the wings?

[Darcy Carden]

I've enjoyed the wings.

[Bowen Yang]

Huh.

[Matt Rogers]

Now I. That.

[Darcy Carden]

Excuse me.

[Matt Rogers]

That just, you know, it's a double entendre.

[Darcy Carden]

It really is. Oh, thank you.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Is that a fun name for a girl entendre?

[Darcy Carden]

It was a gorgeous. Actually. Twins. Double entendre.

[Matt Rogers]

Double entendre. I have two daughters named Entendre.

[Darcy Carden]

Entendres. Entendres Entendres.

[Matt Rogers]

Dinner time. Mashed potatoes only are ready.

[Darcy Carden]

The dinner, honey.

[Matt Rogers]

Aunt Jen Garner made chicken lunch.

[Bowen Yang]

But it's.

[Matt Rogers]

Aunt Jen Garner's here.

[Darcy Carden]

Entendres entendres. She pounded the chicken.

[Bowen Yang]

Aunt Jen Garner is amazing. Why did I say that?

[Darcy Carden]

Aunt Jen.

[Matt Rogers]

Aunt Garner. Aunt Jen Garner. Auntie Jen Garner is here. She pounded her chicken all night to be here with you.

[Darcy Carden]

She made you chicken lunch. Do chicken. What is chicken lunch? Is that from someone?

[Matt Rogers]

Get your finger out of Entra food. 30pm That's Entendre's chicken from Nancy Jen Garner.

[Darcy Carden]

From aunt. No, from aunt Jen Gardner.

[Bowen Yang]

Aunt Jen Gardner.

[Darcy Carden]

Jen.

[Bowen Yang]

Is it aunt or aunt?

[Darcy Carden]

Well, depends on what.

[Matt Rogers]

Be careful. You say, because this is the definitive answer. It'll be this from.

[Darcy Carden]

From now on is actually aunt. Is that wrong?

[Matt Rogers]

It's just another check in the column for we say things wrong from Long Island.

[Darcy Carden]

Of course it's not, but I would be so. I'm so surprised you guys say aunt.

[Matt Rogers]

We say aunt.

[Darcy Carden]

I always think east coast is aunt.

[Matt Rogers]

So everything on Long island that can sound worse does. Okay, so basically, if it's like the word is like aunt.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. You're going to say ant. Right? Right, right.

[Bowen Yang]

Can you explain Mario? Because it's not Italian.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't say Mario. I say Mario. Well.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, it's pretty fucking close.

[Matt Rogers]

We call that Mario.

[Darcy Carden]

Can I tell you guys about penis wiener?

[Matt Rogers]

Huh?

[Bowen Yang]

What's penis wiener? Huh?

[Darcy Carden]

In my family meeting, in mine and Jason's home, if something is this or that. Same, same. We call it penis wiener.

[Bowen Yang]

Penis wiener.

[Matt Rogers]

Penis wiener.

[Bowen Yang]

Half a dozen.

[Darcy Carden]

Half a dozen.

[Bowen Yang]

Which.

[Darcy Carden]

I hate to do this, guys, but we talked about this last time I

[Bowen Yang]

was on the other. I know. I remember. So the new version is penis wiener.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. You can say penis wiener. And it really. We're. Imagine this, if you will. We're renovating our house.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay?

[Darcy Carden]

So we're working with adults, like contractors and architects and stuff. The amount of times we say penis wiener to a grown adult man. Man, who's like, would you want this or that?

[Matt Rogers]

We go like, penis wiener.

[Darcy Carden]

And they know it now.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, they get it? Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

It communicates a lot.

[Darcy Carden]

It does. And feel free to take that, listeners. Feel free to take that.

[Matt Rogers]

Penis wiener. I mean, it's penis wiener.

[Darcy Carden]

So it's penis wiener.

[Matt Rogers]

Penis cops.

[Darcy Carden]

So you were talking Mario. Sorry, I'm hopped up now.

[Matt Rogers]

I do know it's Mario. And also, have you noticed? Have you noticed I've been saying Mario?

[Bowen Yang]

It's very My Fair Lady. He's like, correcting.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, good job.

[Bowen Yang]

Speech.

[Darcy Carden]

Well, it depends.

[Matt Rogers]

Depending on what.

[Darcy Carden]

Depending on where you're from, you sometimes have to do that. For example, sorry to utter his name again, but Jason grew up in Virginia, where they say, what do you call the little waxy colored thing that you draw with crayon?

[Bowen Yang]

Crayon. He says crane.

[Matt Rogers]

Crayon.

[Darcy Carden]

Crown.

[Bowen Yang]

What? No, I'm sorry, Jason.

[Darcy Carden]

So he's fixed it.

[Bowen Yang]

Mr. Carden.

[Darcy Carden]

Mr. Cardin.

[Bowen Yang]

That's wrong.

[Darcy Carden]

That's just wrong.

[Matt Rogers]

Crown is what goes on the head of a queen, for sure.

[Darcy Carden]

But some of your listeners right now are thinking, yup, well, that's fine.

[Matt Rogers]

If I said murder was wrong, some of them are probably like, oops, right?

[Darcy Carden]

And what is it? Murder.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, murder. No, no, I'm saying the concept. Sometimes they can hear things, and if they're not happy with it, it's okay because they're wrong. And I love the listeners, I love the readers, that Katie's the publicist, the finalists, and even the Kyle's. A lot of you are wrong out there about what you're doing. And something you're thinking right now and the way that you've behaved today and probably all week is wrong.

[Darcy Carden]

And that's one minute.

[Matt Rogers]

And that's one minute. And you can feel bad. And you know how long it took me to say that to myself?

[Bowen Yang]

Guess what?

[Matt Rogers]

It's okay if people feel bad.

[Darcy Carden]

Ooh, huge.

[Bowen Yang]

I have a game.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

This is the penis wiener game. Okay, I'm gonna name two things. One of them has to be penis, and one of them has to be wiener. I love it. Coke and Pepsi. Which one's penis? Which one's wiener?

[Darcy Carden]

Coke is penis.

[Bowen Yang]

Penis.

[Darcy Carden]

Pepsi.

[Matt Rogers]

Pepsi is wiener.

[Bowen Yang]

Ding, ding, ding.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Okay, Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson. Which one is penis and which one is wiener?

[Darcy Carden]

Jessica's coke.

[Bowen Yang]

Jessica's penis.

[Darcy Carden]

Sweet.

[Becca Ramos]

Coke.

[Matt Rogers]

Jessica's Coke.

[Darcy Carden]

Jessica's Coke.

[Bowen Yang]

Jessica's. Ashley's wiener.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Jessica's Coke. Ashley's pills.

[Bowen Yang]

Ashley's pills.

[Darcy Carden]

Well, because he's talking like coke.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, the ic.

[Matt Rogers]

I was like a massive Ashley Simpson.

[Bowen Yang]

Stan, were you massive?

[Darcy Carden]

Is this Ashley Anna Monday.

[Bowen Yang]

Cool.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Becca Ramos]

Cool.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm waiting.

[Darcy Carden]

And I know that song became what it became and how had a. Like, it's been overshadowed by the moment, but I think it's a great song.

[Matt Rogers]

I wrote it. Essay defending her in high school. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Did I say defending her Post snl.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

For AP Comp.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I wrote, like, a persuasive essay about why Ashley Simpson should be forgiven.

[Darcy Carden]

That was your thesis.

[Matt Rogers]

I really would like to read it again now.

[Bowen Yang]

This man.

[Matt Rogers]

I know. I would like to read it again now to see how much faggotry is on display word by word.

[Darcy Carden]

Ready it on the pool.

[Matt Rogers]

I really should find it. I don't know if it exists anymore, but I hope it does.

[Darcy Carden]

Read it on the pool.

[Matt Rogers]

Read it on the pod. Read it on the pod. Sword. Order of the pod. Sword of the poor.

[Bowen Yang]

I think Darcy walking into the first episode she recorded with us was a major moment in history.

[Darcy Carden]

I remember every. I remember every moment of every moment.

[Bowen Yang]

Don't remember what I did yesterday. Remember that.

[Matt Rogers]

That was back in 2000. What, 17, 20, 18. It was whoa and a half after you did.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think so, honey. Live in la.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Not to correct you, but first was show.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

And you were like, wait, y'. All.

[Matt Rogers]

No, no, no.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. In my memory. It's so funny because I'm like, I remember everything, but now I'm like, okay, I think it was an apartment. Type.

[Bowen Yang]

It was an apartment.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

It was type of studio. Yes, it was.

[Darcy Carden]

And then I did the show.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Darcy Carden]

Live show.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Darcy Carden]

And then I did, like, a downtown LA office.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. There was a lot of memory. We have lived many different lives on this podcast and there's soon to be another one because announce it. Should we reveal we're going to be getting a new set that Bowen Yang is designing.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh. Oh, my God. This is so exciting.

[Bowen Yang]

This is not. This is not a big deal. Now. Now I feel the pressure.

[Darcy Carden]

Feel.

[Matt Rogers]

Do feel the pressure.

[Darcy Carden]

Feel the pressure.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what creates pressure? Diamonds.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, yes. If you think about it, do you know what creates pressure? Don't correct him. Don't correct.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you know what creates pressure?

[Bowen Yang]

Diamonds.

[Darcy Carden]

And actually, in a way, it's true.

[Matt Rogers]

It's actually really culture number three. You know what creates pressure?

[Bowen Yang]

Diamonds.

[Darcy Carden]

But also, you can make that make sense. I've already done it.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, in the process of making a diamond, you do create pressure.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, say it again.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, we.

[Matt Rogers]

We.

[Bowen Yang]

Everyone's focused on the diamonds. No, what about the pressure that was just there.

[Matt Rogers]

How about time together instead of gifts like diamonds. How about spend simply time together.

[Darcy Carden]

I love time together.

[Bowen Yang]

There.

[Matt Rogers]

This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

[Bowen Yang]

Time for some prep wisdom.

[Matt Rogers]

But first, some common sense people. Everyone is different. Everyone? Yes. Even you? Yes. Even your situationship.

[Bowen Yang]

Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same.

[Matt Rogers]

That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

[Bowen Yang]

Did you know there's more to consider about long acting injectable prep options and how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine, your chaos level, your I might forget my own birthday energy. All of it counts.

[Matt Rogers]

Basically, talk to your doctor, have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed. Encouraged even. Okay. Did you write all that down? No, don't worry.

[Bowen Yang]

Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

[Matt Rogers]

hey, Bowen, is it just me or does it feel like nothing is actually what it says it is anymore?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, like when you order chicken fingers, you know you don't get fingers, you get mystery nuggets.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly. Well, except hotels.com.

[Bowen Yang]

i was gonna say hotels.com because they do hotels refreshing. And when booked as a member, rewards are earned every stay, not points that disappear. Rewards that work like cash and can actually be used.

[Matt Rogers]

So the name checks out and the perks do too.

[Bowen Yang]

Yep, members can get up to 20% off tons of hotels with no blackout dates. Just works with real travel.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, that tracks.

[Bowen Yang]

Hotels.com, it's all in the name.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, it is possible to have high end taste without a high end budget. I'm serious. You don't need a trust fund or a mysterious rich aunt. You just need to shop at the right place. And by right place, obviously we mean Marshalls. Marshalls is giving quality, they're giving style. You know, they believe everyone deserves access to the good stuff. And honestly same, which is why we're telling everyone about Marshalls. The question is, how do they do it? Well, simple. Their buyers are out there hustling for deals, finding the must haves of this season. So they're why we can find amazing cashmere sweaters, Italian leather handbags, brand name beauty, and so much more. That's right. They're sourcing standout pieces, scoring deals on designer goods that are actually trending. Which means all of us get access to brands that feel very now and very premium. People love to say you have to constantly hunt for deals and unless. And I'm like why? If Marshall's buyers are already doing the absolute most, you don't have to. Marshalls likes to say we get the deals, you get the good stuff. And let me tell you, it's true. Like actually true.

[Darcy Carden]

Period.

[Matt Rogers]

No notes.

[Bowen Yang]

Chime is changing the way people bank. They offer the most rewarding fee free banking.

[Matt Rogers]

This is fee free banking built for you.

[Bowen Yang]

They're not like traditional old banks that charge you overdrafted monthly fees.

[Matt Rogers]

They have thousands of fee free ATMs. Why pay to get your own money?

[Bowen Yang]

Chime is built for you, not the

[Matt Rogers]

1% Chime members can benefit from up to $1,150 in annual rewards.

[Bowen Yang]

Fee free Direct deposits unlock the most rewarding way to bank at Chime.

[Matt Rogers]

Chime is rated five stars by USA Today for customer service. Real humans 24 7.

[Bowen Yang]

You're not just switching banks, you're upgrading to America's number one choice for banking with a Chime checking account.

[Matt Rogers]

Get 5% cash back on Chime card. In a category of choice like gas or groceries.

[Bowen Yang]

You get savings that grow faster with the 3.75% AP that's nine times higher than the national average.

[Matt Rogers]

Plus you get premium travel perks like airport lounge access and 24. 7 travel concierge included with your Chime card.

[Bowen Yang]

You can even get up to $500 of your pay when you pay with my pay.

[Matt Rogers]

They also have Spot Me which lets you overdraft up to $200 fee free.

[Bowen Yang]

Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com colterisa that's chime.com culturistas it only takes a few minutes to sign up fee free.

[Darcy Carden]

Chime is a fintech not a bank. Banking services from MyPay and ChimeCard provided by Chime's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking Based on a J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025 for more information on APY rates, MyPay, Spot Me and travel perks, go to Chime.com

[Matt Rogers]

disclosures what's your love language? And when I ask this question, know that I want to know what your your love language expression is not what you like to receive because apparently that's a controversial thing a lot of people

[Bowen Yang]

you can answer both ways.

[Matt Rogers]

Well of course can so how do

[Darcy Carden]

I like to give it?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. What's your love language?

[Bowen Yang]

God.

[Darcy Carden]

Wait, I don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

What love language do you speak? There's words of affirmation, physical touch.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

There is quality time. Quality time.

[Bowen Yang]

And you said words.

[Matt Rogers]

Encouraging word.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. And this is how I showed you love.

[Bowen Yang]

What's that?

[Darcy Carden]

This is how I show love or

[Bowen Yang]

how I want you show love.

[Darcy Carden]

I think. I think words of affirmation.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, you're. You are words of affirmation.

[Bowen Yang]

You're so good.

[Darcy Carden]

A. It's my. It's my love language. What can I say?

[Matt Rogers]

I think it's definitely mine too.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, you think so?

[Matt Rogers]

I also do with. With lovers. Physical touch is part of it for me. Definitely. For sure.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean. But also, it's not just like, I need physical touch. It's like, that's a way of showing love or receiving love.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you talked about your husband's barrel earlier. Yeah. About how you love to get tactile.

[Darcy Carden]

I love to get. I love getting.

[Matt Rogers]

You ever punch his chest when you're totally.

[Darcy Carden]

I think I did yesterday.

[Bowen Yang]

That's fun.

[Matt Rogers]

Hell, yeah. With the brass ring.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

What was this?

[Darcy Carden]

Just kind of like warming up for a punch.

[Bowen Yang]

The Y. I oughta.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. A little bit of a why.

[Bowen Yang]

I oughta do a why I oughta. So good.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Darcy Carden]

You should do a why I oughta.

[Matt Rogers]

Can you believe we got karate chopped by Miss Piggy?

[Darcy Carden]

What a moment. From God above.

[Matt Rogers]

He took one right in the kidney.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, what a moment.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. That was amazing.

[Darcy Carden]

That is. I mean, there's too many things to say. Say, like if you could tell little Matt and Bowen, but that one is actually like. Go back even further. That's actually like, life doesn't make sense. That's like seven years old.

[Bowen Yang]

No, truly, it's. It's crazy. And. And every single time we were watching it in the edit, I go, she's the most beautiful woman.

[Darcy Carden]

She's most beautiful in the world.

[Matt Rogers]

She's really graceful. And in person, she's a lot more soft spoken than you think.

[Bowen Yang]

Very soft. Yeah. Very shy.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, my God. Yeah. She has a grace about her.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Elegance.

[Matt Rogers]

She's actually never really raising her voice.

[Darcy Carden]

No, she's.

[Becca Ramos]

I mean,

[Darcy Carden]

that's not.

[Bowen Yang]

That's not. That's just the pitch. That's not like volume.

[Darcy Carden]

Exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

It's really, really good.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you have to know. So we were in the writer's room, like, like all. Writing the Miss Piggy copy. Writing the Miss Piggy bit. There was so much anxiety passed around about, like, who was going to do it, like, because it's, like, daunting.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, totally. You can't just say the word.

[Matt Rogers]

No one ended up taking the first pass on the copy. And then when we're reading it, it was another level of anxiety about who was going to perform as Miss Piggy. And we all did, like, take turns because you kind of have to do it as her to make sure it's working rhythm.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. So much about it.

[Matt Rogers]

It was. It was a fun opportunity, but I think one of the most vulnerable.

[Bowen Yang]

Very vulnerable.

[Darcy Carden]

Because you want to commit to it. If you, like. If you, like, around with it, it's not. It's not doing what you're setting out to do. It's almost like, probably when you. You're rehearsing your songs, you're like, I don't want to just, like, pretend to sing it. We got to sing it.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like. It's like if you were reading for, like, Julie Andrews or something. You know what I mean? It's like, have her on. Next year, the queen will have her on.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

But she. But, God, Miss Piggy. I feel like I was relinquishing my Miss Piggy impression.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. Who. Who.

[Bowen Yang]

I was like, I'm.

[Darcy Carden]

Who did. Who, like, nailed it.

[Bowen Yang]

Matt, for sure.

[Matt Rogers]

I. I was pretty good at it.

[Bowen Yang]

Kermie.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, Kermie.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Really good. But I did this when Amy Poehler was here. But my favorite Miss Piggy sort of sound bite stim is from Muppet Christmas Carol, when she is the only person in the whole fucking movie to yell to scream at Scrooge.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And when Scrooge is coming, you know, over to Cratchit's to apologize.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

She freaks out. Right? She goes, you will believe me.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God. That's so.

[Darcy Carden]

That's so, like, in my soul hearing that, I'm like, oh, that's so good.

[Bowen Yang]

At once is so.

[Matt Rogers]

At once.

[Bowen Yang]

At once. And you will be leaving here at once.

[Darcy Carden]

She's so in charge like that.

[Matt Rogers]

She is.

[Bowen Yang]

I want to do an app. I want to tell someone at once.

[Darcy Carden]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

And I want to tell someone. I. Why?

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, my God. I've never told anybody at once. And I want to. I've never used this done at once.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Darcy Carden]

We should all kind of commit to doing that at least once. At least in the next month.

[Bowen Yang]

I want to. Let me just test this out.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, test that out.

[Bowen Yang]

Shut the up at once.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Weird. But I like it.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Because at one, you want at once to hit hard and Once you said, shut the fuck up. All I'm thinking about is the cuss word.

[Darcy Carden]

I would. I wonder if it's like. Like, God, how would you.

[Matt Rogers]

And I'm Becca. What are you doing at once. Okay.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Why are you typing?

[Darcy Carden]

What are you.

[Matt Rogers]

What are you working on?

[Darcy Carden]

What are you typing?

[Matt Rogers]

What are you typing? At once.

[Darcy Carden]

At once.

[Matt Rogers]

What is going on?

[Darcy Carden]

It is so, like, how would you use it?

[Bowen Yang]

What is going on at once?

[Darcy Carden]

It has to.

[Matt Rogers]

It was a real question as well. I want to know what you guys are doing. Clack, clack, clack. You're working.

[Darcy Carden]

Interesting we're working thing. I think it. It works.

[Matt Rogers]

We're always working this way. Oh, now I feel bad.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, No, I feel.

[Matt Rogers]

I feel like we're trying horseshit.

[Darcy Carden]

One single moment off, and then you get on my head.

[Matt Rogers]

So now I'm working horseshit amongst the straw and whatever and all that.

[Darcy Carden]

Eat some hay at once.

[Matt Rogers]

Love that. Really? Hey, why don't you go kick rocks at once?

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, I love kick rocks.

[Matt Rogers]

I love.

[Darcy Carden]

So it has to be like, let's

[Bowen Yang]

have sex at once.

[Darcy Carden]

If you can say at once o'. Clock.

[Matt Rogers]

If it's okay with you. I would like to have sex at once.

[Darcy Carden]

It has to be like. I mean, nothing beats get out of here at once.

[Matt Rogers]

Get out of here at once. And you will be leaving at once.

[Darcy Carden]

You'll be leaving at once. And you will be leaving at once. Get out of here at once. Do this at once. It's like, get out of here at once.

[Bowen Yang]

At once.

[Darcy Carden]

You will be leaving at once.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Darcy Carden]

Go get me that answer at once.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Did Miranda Priestley ever say at once. She doesn't need to. She just says, that's all.

[Bowen Yang]

No, the. The. The most aggressive I. From the first movie, at least because I can. I feel like it's more in. In me.

[Darcy Carden]

Sure.

[Bowen Yang]

She goes the iconic line of just, if you don't have that Harry Potter

[Matt Rogers]

book, don't even bother coming back.

[Darcy Carden]

Is there a way we could put at once in there?

[Matt Rogers]

But if you don't have that Harry Potter book at once, don't even bother. Don't even bother.

[Darcy Carden]

And they would. Wait, who was. Was it. What's her name?

[Matt Rogers]

Anne Hathaway?

[Darcy Carden]

No, but what's her name?

[Bowen Yang]

Andrea.

[Matt Rogers]

Meryl.

[Bowen Yang]

Stress her. Andrea.

[Darcy Carden]

She goes, Andrea. She would. She'd be like, at once. She'd leave kind of muttering like. Did she say at once at once? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. She'd be like, oh, shit. She said at once.

[Matt Rogers]

She'd be like, Anne Hathway was so good at the subtle exasperation that a romantic comedy heroine has to carry through.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, totally.

[Matt Rogers]

Subtle exasperation. Totally.

[Darcy Carden]

Which is important.

[Matt Rogers]

It's very. This vibe.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, I get. Don't do that.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you see Devil wars pr. You loved it.

[Darcy Carden]

You loved it.

[Bowen Yang]

You did, you did.

[Matt Rogers]

We did, we did.

[Bowen Yang]

Send the action.

[Matt Rogers]

Should we do Meisner for a second? Okay.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Can we do a three person Meisner? One, two, three.

[Darcy Carden]

Three.

[Matt Rogers]

Can someone, Anyone at all say. Say a three word phrase?

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah,

[Matt Rogers]

go ahead.

[Darcy Carden]

Do it at once.

[Matt Rogers]

At once.

[Bowen Yang]

Do it at once. Do it at once.

[Matt Rogers]

That's fine.

[Bowen Yang]

That's okay.

[Darcy Carden]

Let's get this bread.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. Let's get this bread. Ready? Let's get this bread.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's get this bread. Bread.

[Darcy Carden]

Let's get this bread.

[Matt Rogers]

Let's get this bread.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's get this bread.

[Darcy Carden]

Let's get this bread.

[Matt Rogers]

Let's get this bread.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's get this bread.

[Darcy Carden]

Let's get this bread.

[Matt Rogers]

Let's get this bread.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's get this bread.

[Darcy Carden]

Let's get this bread. Let's get this bread. And Meisner.

[Matt Rogers]

Meisner.

[Bowen Yang]

Whoa. I felt like I broke. I broke the spell a little bit.

[Darcy Carden]

No, never.

[Bowen Yang]

But you, you really went there.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I love acting.

[Darcy Carden]

I love it with my friend. With anybody.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't want to do this.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't want to. I want to act.

[Matt Rogers]

I love when I get to do that in here. You know what I mean? That.

[Darcy Carden]

With that.

[Matt Rogers]

With this.

[Bowen Yang]

With this.

[Darcy Carden]

The pot is just, you know, it's like you set it up for years to be able to do that. Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

You're so right on.

[Darcy Carden]

On pod.

[Bowen Yang]

On pod.

[Darcy Carden]

And that's on pod.

[Matt Rogers]

And that's on pod. You ever notice AD Bryant does this with her hands?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, she points with all five fingers.

[Darcy Carden]

Totally.

[Bowen Yang]

She does this totally.

[Matt Rogers]

We were watching the cut and she's

[Darcy Carden]

just like, what did she say?

[Matt Rogers]

Any of you?

[Darcy Carden]

Yes. It's so good.

[Bowen Yang]

Pointing is. She's. She's a pointer.

[Darcy Carden]

God.

[Matt Rogers]

But she points with all five fingers open and a hand like that.

[Bowen Yang]

She's like, what's your. What's your pointing technique? What's your pointing? You. You wiggle.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm so like. I don't know how crazy my hands are. I think I'm. I mean, now I'm aware, but I think I don't realize how much I'm talking with my hands. But that's not pointing.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, no, no, no. I think generally just justiculating what however you want.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm this culture.

[Darcy Carden]

Yes, you are.

[Matt Rogers]

I am. I am. Point. Like, it's. It's a, you know, a straight line but bent at the wrist.

[Darcy Carden]

Do you remember that kind of thing in theater school when you would sort of like, do this and the director would be like, do that? You know?

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, so, like, you would.

[Matt Rogers]

We didn't go to theater school.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, Meisner, though.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I.

[Darcy Carden]

Well, I know.

[Matt Rogers]

I didn't say we shouldn't have been in it. I said we weren't. Let's go back to theater school.

[Darcy Carden]

Theater universities.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you think Yale School of Drama would take me in Bo Now?

[Darcy Carden]

I absolutely do.

[Matt Rogers]

You do?

[Darcy Carden]

They should be.

[Matt Rogers]

So what would be your guys's monologues to audition for the Yale School of Drama today? I would do the 10 things I hate about you monologue by Julia Stiles.

[Darcy Carden]

So good. I would do.

[Matt Rogers]

They'd be like.

[Darcy Carden]

No, you would kill it. I would do like, just. Okay, a two person scene, but take out all of the other lines. Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Darcy Carden]

I would do just Ross's line in the, like, breakup scene with him and Jennifer Aniston.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow, that's great.

[Darcy Carden]

And I would have to make it work because all of her lines would be gone. So I'd be giving them something they'd never seen before.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I would do Erin Brockovich in the beginning when she's trying. When she's going through her resume.

[Darcy Carden]

God damn.

[Matt Rogers]

It's really good.

[Darcy Carden]

I'd love to see that.

[Bowen Yang]

She has no medical experience, but I did. What is she. She, like. She was like. But I did work in, like, a dentist's office in Irvine or something. Like, she has a great monologue where she's trying to, like, apply for this. No, no.

[Darcy Carden]

You came up something better.

[Matt Rogers]

Also from Aaron Brockovich Spoiled from choice.

[Bowen Yang]

When she's in the courtroom and then like, the. The lawyers, like, grilling her and then it ends with her just. It's such a.

[Matt Rogers]

That smash my neck.

[Darcy Carden]

Good job. You guys are so good at that thing. You just.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, he came out. He came around the corner like a bat out of hell.

[Darcy Carden]

Wow. When was the last time you saw that movie?

[Bowen Yang]

Not soon enough.

[Darcy Carden]

Not soon enough. Why? Not recently enough.

[Bowen Yang]

Not recently enough.

[Matt Rogers]

But it wasn't.

[Darcy Carden]

But you'd love to see it.

[Matt Rogers]

Did watch.

[Bowen Yang]

I would watch it tonight.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that's actually a really good idea

[Darcy Carden]

that you guys have. The. Your brains are so good. You. Yes, because you have that Aaron Brockovich monologue. You both do. And you have countless other monologues in Your head at all times.

[Bowen Yang]

This was the monologue that sealed the deal for me and Matt in the year, I would say 2013.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. It was me.

[Matt Rogers]

I said it. I didn't know what help. I. I cut his elf out. What? I actually didn't know what help meant. And now I thought I was a surgeon, but I can't. I thought I was a surgeon, but I'm not. So I quit. Issy.

[Darcy Carden]

I knew it. I knew it was Grace.

[Bowen Yang]

Grace.

[Matt Rogers]

Grace has so much good stuff in there too.

[Darcy Carden]

Those first few CZs.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh.

[Darcy Carden]

Seasons. And I'm sure it just gets better and better. But you know, you stop when you stop those first. You stop when you stop.

[Matt Rogers]

You're sure Grey's Anatomy gets better and better?

[Darcy Carden]

It sure gets better and better every day.

[Matt Rogers]

Will adult your number 40. I'm sure Grey's Anatomy gets better and better.

[Darcy Carden]

But you stop when you stop. And when I stop, I really. What?

[Bowen Yang]

Your turn. Sorry. Go of what Monologue?

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, I like. I.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, the time is now. This is the Yale School of Drama audition, honey.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Can be one of your own.

[Matt Rogers]

And we're two very severe gay men who are not going to make this easy.

[Darcy Carden]

What would like monologue. Monologue. Remember how we used to have just like monologues?

[Bowen Yang]

I know.

[Matt Rogers]

I never really.

[Bowen Yang]

The top teen monologues. It was like teen monologue.

[Darcy Carden]

They were also like, again, not to theater school. You. But they would always be like, don't look in those books. They'd be like, those are overdone. I remember the first monologue I did in high school. I had just read a book. This is kind of timely. I just read the book Girl Interrupted, which is now going to Broadway or on Broadway.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Interesting.

[Darcy Carden]

It was just a book. This is a book before the movie. It was just a book about a girl that went to a goddamn place where they make you feel.

[Bowen Yang]

They interrupted her.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, they interrupted her. She was like, get out of here once.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

But they. You know. Cause they kept interrupting her.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Darcy Carden]

They said, get out of here. They said, get out of here.

[Bowen Yang]

Get out of here once and go

[Darcy Carden]

to the mental hospital.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

She was mid sentence.

[Darcy Carden]

The first monologue. The first page, I wanna say, is what I did.

[Bowen Yang]

That's amazing.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. The first. Yeah. Like, I took it straight out of the book.

[Bowen Yang]

That's cool.

[Darcy Carden]

I just remember being like, no one's ever done this before. And then they made it into a. It felt so like, you know, I felt really like, no one will ever know Anything about this? I am so uni. Then it was made into a movie, and then it was made into a play, and it clearly had. It clearly had a path.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm getting Allison Williams Cool Girl award vibes from you.

[Darcy Carden]

I'm not.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't make any promises.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm not promising anything.

[Matt Rogers]

We haven't even seen what happens on Bravo next year.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, but can you become a

[Matt Rogers]

Bravo it Girl by next year?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, absolutely. If anyone I know can become a Bravo it Girl, it's Darcy Carter.

[Matt Rogers]

How would you. How would you.

[Darcy Carden]

Sweating.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, so. So are you sweating? Because it's like, you know, it's a lot of pressure.

[Darcy Carden]

It's a lot of pressure. It's like two diamonds. It's like one diamond.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like what creates pressure is diamonds.

[Darcy Carden]

You're pushing two diamonds together. So much pressure.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like, ouch. How am I supposed to become a diamond like this? Honey, there must be another way. That's my impression of a diamond. Something becoming a diamond. I'll be like, oh, my God, I

[Darcy Carden]

have to do this.

[Matt Rogers]

This is almost as hard as me. When I. When this process is complete. You know, I'm the hardest substance.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, yes.

[Darcy Carden]

Right now I'm just, what, coal, honey?

[Bowen Yang]

Or whatever.

[Matt Rogers]

Any coal is a goal.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Wait, by the way, is that factual? Does coal become diamond?

[Matt Rogers]

Can you guys look that up at once?

[Bowen Yang]

Just carbon. Anything with carbon. Carbon.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, so maybe like a soda. Yeah, a carbonated soda. Diamonds are not made of coal.

[Matt Rogers]

What are they made of? What the hell?

[Darcy Carden]

Sedimentary rock, which I guess doesn't have carbon. Oh, interesting. So this is a wives tale.

[Matt Rogers]

An old sedimentary. Yeah, Said. You know, we can trust you, Becca.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, Sedimentary. Said. Mentoring. If her name was mentor.

[Bowen Yang]

I want a young wife. Tail for.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God. For once, thought you were just going to say, I want a young wife.

[Bowen Yang]

I want a young wife, too.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, I want a young. I don't mind being warm right now, but do I look like I'm sweating?

[Bowen Yang]

I look stunning.

[Matt Rogers]

It's so hot in here. I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt.

[Darcy Carden]

So fun and fine. And I want to be here forever. But as long as it's not sweat. And if it is, viewers at home enjoy it.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait. Oh, my God. It works to sweat. Because it's July 8th.

[Darcy Carden]

It is July 9th.

[Matt Rogers]

No, it's July 8th today.

[Darcy Carden]

Today's July 8th, the day before the show.

[Matt Rogers]

Unless you're listening on July 9th, in which case it's July 9th. But this is coming out on July 8th, a really hot time.

[Darcy Carden]

It's such a hot time. It's one of the hottest times in. Well, not the world. Have you ever been to Australia?

[Matt Rogers]

July 8th is cold. It's rough.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. It's not so bad.

[Bowen Yang]

It's not so bad because they flippy.

[Darcy Carden]

They flippy floppy, but they do flippy floppy, which is actually insane.

[Matt Rogers]

Where will you be on July 8th when this comes out and July 9th when the show comes out? Do you know what your schedule is?

[Darcy Carden]

Yes, I do.

[Matt Rogers]

What is it?

[Bowen Yang]

I know.

[Darcy Carden]

July 8th, we have. Last night we had. No, no, tonight I had the premiere.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Love that.

[Darcy Carden]

Tonight I have the premiere in New York City. Right in Los Angeles.

[Matt Rogers]

Right in Los Angeles.

[Darcy Carden]

Right in Los Angeles. In the tar pits. In the tar.

[Bowen Yang]

In the tar.

[Darcy Carden]

We come out of the tar, the five of us.

[Bowen Yang]

That would be a G. We're going

[Darcy Carden]

to be on a platform under the tar. And then when it's time for us to enter there, the platform is going to go.

[Matt Rogers]

And the tars, you rise out of the tar.

[Bowen Yang]

It's going to be really cool.

[Matt Rogers]

Like Lydia Tars.

[Darcy Carden]

Like Lydia. Like five Lydia Tars.

[Matt Rogers]

And then. What are you doing?

[Darcy Carden]

Five little Lydia Tars. And then on the day that it comes out. Tomorrow. Yeah, I think I have press tomorrow,

[Matt Rogers]

but who are you excited to see?

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, you know, the usual.

[Bowen Yang]

The Mark Malkins.

[Darcy Carden]

The Malkins.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, he'll be there.

[Darcy Carden]

The Cameron.

[Matt Rogers]

He's growing his hair out.

[Darcy Carden]

I noticed. He was great.

[Bowen Yang]

All the. All the guys are growing their hair out. Yeah, actually Jared's growing his hair out. I want to say day.

[Matt Rogers]

Jared. Who?

[Bowen Yang]

Entertainment Weekly Jared.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

Growing his hair out.

[Matt Rogers]

I want to grow my hair.

[Darcy Carden]

Do you?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I do, actually.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, that would be cute. You could. I mean, you can pull it all. You can pull it all off.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, thanks.

[Darcy Carden]

You can pull off. You can.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't pull out the hair.

[Darcy Carden]

Don't pull it out.

[Bowen Yang]

Pull it off.

[Darcy Carden]

Pull it off. You can pull off.

[Matt Rogers]

I think I'm going to do it. I'm. I'm going to grow out my hair. I have to shoot something this month and then after that.

[Darcy Carden]

You do.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm going. I'm going. Length.

[Darcy Carden]

You can say, yeah, yeah, it's out. Unless it's something else.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm a mistress.

[Darcy Carden]

It's so exciting.

[Matt Rogers]

This ad is sponsored by VEVE Healthcare.

[Bowen Yang]

Time for some prep wisdom.

[Matt Rogers]

But first, some common sense people. Everyone is different. Everyone? Yes. Even you? Yes. Even your situationship.

[Bowen Yang]

Especially your situationship. And just like people. Injectable prep Options, not all the same.

[Matt Rogers]

That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

[Bowen Yang]

Did you know there's more to consider about long acting, injectable prep options and how often you get it? Also why you want to take it. Man matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine, your chaos level, your I might forget my own birthday energy. All of it counts.

[Matt Rogers]

Basically talk to your doctor, have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed. Encouraged even. Okay. Did you write all that down? No, don't worry.

[Bowen Yang]

Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com hey, Bowen.

[Matt Rogers]

Point of order. It feels like nothing is what it says it is anymore.

[Bowen Yang]

Point of answer. It's because everything has a catch.

[Matt Rogers]

Hey. Or it turns out to be something else entirely.

[Bowen Yang]

Like a total catfish situation.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly, beau.

[Bowen Yang]

Except for Hotels.com.

[Matt Rogers]

yeah, that one's pretty literal because it's

[Bowen Yang]

Hotels.com it's in the domain. You go there, you book hotels, hundreds of thousands of them and hold up.

[Matt Rogers]

That's it.

[Bowen Yang]

That's it. And when stays are booked as a member, rewards are earned every time.

[Matt Rogers]

Every stay.

[Bowen Yang]

Every stay. No tracking or managing, just rewards that can be used like cash on future bookings.

[Matt Rogers]

Which by the way already feels nicer than most rewards programs. Okay, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Members can can also get up to 20% off booking. So savings start right away. Does that mean no weird restrictions and no blackout dates? Book what works, when it works. It's actually really fitting of real travel.

[Matt Rogers]

So the name is honest you're saying and the rewards are too.

[Bowen Yang]

Exactly. Hotels.com. it's all in the name.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, it is possible to have high end taste without a high end budget. I'm serious. You don't need a trust fund or a mysterious rich aunt. You just need to shop at the the right place. And by right place, obviously we mean Marshalls. Marshalls is giving quality, they're giving style. You know, they believe everyone deserves access to the good stuff. And honestly same, which is why we're telling everyone about Marshalls. The question is, how do they do it? Well, simple. Their buyers are out there hustling for deals, finding the must haves of this season. So they're why we can find amazing cashmere sweaters, Italian leather handbags, brand name beauty and so much more.

[Bowen Yang]

More.

[Matt Rogers]

That's right. They're sourcing standout pieces, scoring deals on designer goods that are actually trending which means all of us get access to brands that feel very now and very premium. People love to say you have to constantly hunt for deals. And I'm like, why? If Marshalls buyers are already doing the absolute most, you don't have to. Marshalls likes to say we get the deals, you get the good stuff. And let me tell you, it's true. Like actually, actually true. Period. No notes.

[Bowen Yang]

JBL wireless earbuds are for those who are the first to try something unique.

[Matt Rogers]

The first wireless earbuds on the market with a touchscreen case which allows you to control your audio without reaching for your phone. They also have a touchscreen smart charging case for one touch control.

[Bowen Yang]

I love being able to touch my buds and control the volume with a

[Matt Rogers]

built in wireless transmitter that lets you plug and play with any device you want. JBL wireless earbuds connects you to all your favorite music, movies and games.

[Bowen Yang]

The wireless transmitter also allows for JBL superior spatial sound that takes any audio and turns it into a 360 immersive experience.

[Matt Rogers]

They've got a next gen smart charging case for a seamless listening experience. Leave your phone in your pocket. The smart charging case has all the features you need to fully control and customize your listening experience. And the earbud settings in multiple languages right from the case.

[Bowen Yang]

Use the smart charging case to see what song it's playing or who's calling you. Or personalize the tactile screen with your favorite photo.

[Matt Rogers]

Check the dynamic lock screen to get info on battery life, status, time, messages, etc.

[Bowen Yang]

JBL Wireless Earbuds. Grab a [e-mail] who are the Spice Girls among the five?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, we got a job.

[Bowen Yang]

I think you're sporty.

[Matt Rogers]

It's all been leading up to this. I was going to say you're sporty too.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, okay, wait. Okay, hold on.

[Matt Rogers]

And you're good with that?

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, I'm good with that.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm going to say all love. I think you want to say Chloe's posh, but I think Chloe scary.

[Darcy Carden]

And I think that Gemma is posh.

[Bowen Yang]

Gemma is posh. Regina might be. Regina is baby.

[Darcy Carden]

Baby.

[Matt Rogers]

No, J, I. I think Regina feels like Ginger to me. And is Jennifer Garner somehow baby?

[Bowen Yang]

Jennifer Garner's somehow baby.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, then again, if, If. If Jennifer Garner is the lead.

[Darcy Carden]

I know. Then who is.

[Matt Rogers]

Does that make her Ginger?

[Bowen Yang]

I don't.

[Darcy Carden]

But I think that.

[Bowen Yang]

But the.

[Darcy Carden]

Just.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't want to.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't want to. It's not Call sheet. I don't want.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't want it's not call sheet numbers or anything. It's. It'.

[Darcy Carden]

It's vibes.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Darcy Carden]

So then I'm like, is she.

[Matt Rogers]

Because Jennifer Garner's vibe is kind of sporty.

[Darcy Carden]

I know. I actually think she might be Baby.

[Matt Rogers]

You're baby.

[Darcy Carden]

But I don't know. I mean, I'm also like, am I scary?

[Bowen Yang]

No, I'm a baby.

[Matt Rogers]

I think you're a baby.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. And I think Regina, Ginger, and I think Jen sporty. Jen is sporty as hell, Jenna. Sporty should jump up on that table right now, slay your ass.

[Matt Rogers]

No, she won't.

[Bowen Yang]

Making chicken.

[Matt Rogers]

Daredevil. I've seen Alias.

[Darcy Carden]

She can still do that right this second.

[Matt Rogers]

You think so?

[Darcy Carden]

She rides her bike around the. God. She doesn't take the. You know, we.

[Matt Rogers]

Is she still.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Electra.

[Matt Rogers]

Really?

[Darcy Carden]

You know how you get in the van to go to set?

[Bowen Yang]

Y.

[Darcy Carden]

She's like, I'll meet you there. I'm gonna bike there.

[Matt Rogers]

She's.

[Darcy Carden]

She's sporty.

[Bowen Yang]

Damn.

[Matt Rogers]

Hair, makeup. Probably just presents that they love her.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, There you go.

[Matt Rogers]

They say, you know, with Jen, she's gonna bike to set. So this her touch ups take a little bit longer. But we love her.

[Bowen Yang]

But we love her.

[Darcy Carden]

She gets there and looks even better. Yeah, that's what they know.

[Bowen Yang]

She got us. She got us a Bon Me truck today.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, she got us a Bon Me truck today.

[Matt Rogers]

Was there ever a Bond Me truck?

[Darcy Carden]

I'm sure there was.

[Matt Rogers]

I love bond. We got a lot.

[Darcy Carden]

I love bo.

[Matt Rogers]

I love Vietnamese chicken.

[Darcy Carden]

So do I. Yes, I really do.

[Matt Rogers]

I do as well. That's why I said it.

[Darcy Carden]

And that's also why I said it. And then once at once.

[Matt Rogers]

You notice I said it at once.

[Darcy Carden]

I love Banh Mi at once.

[Matt Rogers]

I want to bon me at once.

[Darcy Carden]

I want to bond me at once.

[Matt Rogers]

Should we do a Banh Mi episode of the podcast?

[Darcy Carden]

And what is that?

[Bowen Yang]

What would that be?

[Matt Rogers]

Podcast on Me. That might be title about. Wait, Podcast Bon Me. You don't like that? What could that mean? I want to.

[Darcy Carden]

Sitting here wondering. I don't understand.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know what that means.

[Darcy Carden]

Podcast.

[Matt Rogers]

Podcast on Me.

[Darcy Carden]

I don't know its title, but you might change the goddamn podcast name to podcast.

[Matt Rogers]

What do you think? What do you think of us changing our podcast name to Just Lost Culture?

[Darcy Carden]

Ooh. No. Do you want to?

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know.

[Darcy Carden]

Why?

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know. I just think it's kind of fierce.

[Darcy Carden]

I mean, do it then. If there's like.

[Bowen Yang]

This is the thing about Las Coltristas no fucking television show on this earth knows how to pronounce it.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my dad can. He says, las Costa Ricas.

[Bowen Yang]

Costa Ric.

[Darcy Carden]

That is so funny. I had a nice moment with your dad at the chat.

[Matt Rogers]

He told me.

[Darcy Carden]

He goes.

[Matt Rogers]

He comes over to me and he goes, I love Darcy. You know, she said, you guys have known each other for 10 years. And I was like, oh, my God,

[Bowen Yang]

I guess that's true.

[Darcy Carden]

And then he goes, nice to meet you. And I go, we've met before. And he goes, what? And I was like, we had a phone call. And he finished the sentence. He was like, the phone call.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Rich is such a hit with the. With the. With everybody.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you see his chain?

[Darcy Carden]

Of course I did. But also, I don't think it. I'm sure it didn't make the cut. I mean, we all watched it. Did it make the cut?

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think it made the cut

[Darcy Carden]

because it wasn't even on.

[Matt Rogers]

My dad was wearing, like, an iconic chain with his initials on it.

[Darcy Carden]

But at one point in this sort of, like, intermission, like, commercial break, we shouted it out. Matt said, give it up for my dad's neck. Give it up for my dad's necklace.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, my dad's necklace.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah. Yeah, it was.

[Matt Rogers]

Because he was. He actually looked like. Like fashion on 10. Like. Like blazer over a T shirt with a chain, gold chain.

[Darcy Carden]

In fact, I was. I loved it so much that you said that, that I was like, I wonder if it would work if when you come out, when me, Darby, comes out, I call myself Darby, Darby. When I come out to the microphone, should I say, like, and everybody give it up for ma dad's necklace? But will that totally ruin the baby?

[Matt Rogers]

It would have worked in the room.

[Darcy Carden]

It would have worked in the room.

[Matt Rogers]

It would have been cut. It would have been cut ass. But you would have given it clean.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

You would have given us a clean line.

[Darcy Carden]

Totally. It would have. It would have been for you guys.

[Bowen Yang]

This is. I'm just saying we do it live. One year maybe.

[Matt Rogers]

He really wants to do it live.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, live. I'm like, you have. I see what you're saying. Yeah. Because this is what the.

[Matt Rogers]

It sounds hard to me.

[Bowen Yang]

It sounds like a nightmare.

[Darcy Carden]

No, actually, well, this is the thing.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't. I don't know about that.

[Darcy Carden]

What are you.

[Becca Ramos]

What?

[Darcy Carden]

You didn't have to do anything. You didn't have, like.

[Bowen Yang]

It's practically the same thing.

[Darcy Carden]

Practically perfect in every way. Mary Poppins style.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. And I Just, I just want people to like, kind of like we should all just experience it together.

[Darcy Carden]

Totally. I think it could be live and I think you guys would thrive. But also scary vibes. Yeah, also scary. It's like if you don't have to. You don't have. You don't. If you don't.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, I think we have a couple more years of doing it to tape and I think the next move for the show, fingers crossed, knock wood. Is to do it in the nyc.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Yeah, I think so.

[Matt Rogers]

I think that that would be.

[Darcy Carden]

You have live up the butt because of.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, he's got live up the butt.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm telling you, it is such a fun drilling ride. It's the scariest thing. But it's so fun trying to think

[Darcy Carden]

if I've ever done anything live.

[Matt Rogers]

I've done. I've done like I did. Well, I guess the SNL carpet was live.

[Darcy Carden]

I've done in my life.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, I've done the. I've done Jenna. That's live.

[Darcy Carden]

That's right. Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

You, you, you've got.

[Matt Rogers]

It's not that I, I don't like want and I'm excited by live. It's just that I know the show is so that I would. I would hate to lose opportunities to do things because it was live in the middle.

[Darcy Carden]

I've been sitting here for five hours with my legs crossed like a little child.

[Matt Rogers]

Are they dead?

[Darcy Carden]

No, they're alive. But just like, like crisscross applesauce.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean.

[Matt Rogers]

Woo. Kindergartener.

[Darcy Carden]

Kindergartener.

[Matt Rogers]

Kindergartener.

[Bowen Yang]

Kindergarten.

[Matt Rogers]

Get out of kindergarten at once.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what's crazy for gardener, Jennifer. For gardener partner. You know, it's a crazy word that is German.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Warm.

[Darcy Carden]

Huh?

[Bowen Yang]

The word warm is German is.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, well, yeah, sure. That word is, you know, romance language. That word is, you know, this warm is just German, y'.

[Darcy Carden]

All. And if. What does it mean?

[Bowen Yang]

Warm.

[Becca Ramos]

Hot.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, cool.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm just learning German on Duolingo.

[Matt Rogers]

Becca, who's that? Ariana Grande. Aren't you an Arianator? This is on the permanent record, but learn at once.

[Darcy Carden]

Learn at once. Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Because I, I think I am going to agree with Bowen that it's an impossible game. I'll. We'll develop it and it's time to do. I don't think so, honey. If you can even believe, leave.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Which I. You probably can at home because this is about that time.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And what I don't think so, honey, is for the uninformed is a 60 second absolute pop off to To. To something.

[Darcy Carden]

No, to.

[Matt Rogers]

To some. On. On some topic. It's really a thesis. It is statement that gets followed up on brutally, brutally. Brutalists. It's a brutalist. I do have something I feel you

[Darcy Carden]

used to say 60 seconds towards rant on.

[Matt Rogers]

I try to make it different every time.

[Darcy Carden]

I know, I know. You know it's funny. I was thinking back so long ago there was like at least un episode where we. Where we. Where you didn't do. I don't think so, honey. And you tried something else. Does this sound familiar?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Was it like year two or something?

[Darcy Carden]

Yes. Where you're like we're gonna try this one. This time along the lines.

[Matt Rogers]

We did a positive day with Mike Kelton and we did. I think so, honey.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny. That's funny. That's so cute.

[Matt Rogers]

And he did you want to know what that was? Actually that was a very fortuitous day because he said. Said I think so, honey. Maggie Rogers.

[Darcy Carden]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

Like who's that? He was like she is an unbelievable singer. You have to check her out. Well, let's just say we checked her out.

[Darcy Carden]

And let's just say the world checked her out.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

She's gonna come on the pod this year at some point should.

[Darcy Carden]

And I would love. I would love her to take out an acoustic guitar and strum a strum song.

[Bowen Yang]

Did you.

[Matt Rogers]

Were you ever listening to Lost Culture when we used to do the musical episodes.

[Darcy Carden]

God. Like a.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait like a long time ago.

[Bowen Yang]

Have like a musical improv artists. No artists come in like six.

[Matt Rogers]

Henry would play.

[Darcy Carden]

Would play. I don't. I don't think I ever heard.

[Bowen Yang]

But it's quite nice.

[Darcy Carden]

But also maybe I did but I feel like I'd remember that you.

[Matt Rogers]

We did that several times.

[Bowen Yang]

We did.

[Darcy Carden]

Where you would have an art. If the person was a singer.

[Bowen Yang]

You'd have them say like Cat Cohen did it once. Amanda Shman did it once.

[Matt Rogers]

People like Larry Owens did it.

[Darcy Carden]

Would you want to do this again?

[Matt Rogers]

Maybe. You know who would be fun to do it with actually? Cuz I want them to come on at some point and we. We al. We already have to like change the setup. Cuz there's three of them is hot time.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, that'd be fun. I bet they would love that. God, I can't believe they've never been on.

[Matt Rogers]

I know. Well because. Because they're sort of a three. They're sort of a trio people harder

[Bowen Yang]

to nail down sort of a duo. So that's a five zero.

[Darcy Carden]

That's a cinco. Baby.

[Bowen Yang]

We call that a cinco, honey.

[Matt Rogers]

All right, everybody, here we go.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so many time starts now.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think so, honey. Just based on the Rotten Tomatoes score, deciding we're not seeing that anymore, especially when we have plans to see the film. No, I'm just say, because actually what happened was we were excited to see scary movie 6, and then it had a 28 on rotten tomatoes, and it caused a lot of discord amongst people that were attending the film. And I thought, okay, well, we can't just base it on the Rotten Tomato score, because how many times do we love a movie that has a very low rotten Tomato score, You know what I'm saying? Like, probably a lot of comedies, too, which are looked at as disposable. I'm actually really interested. It hasn't come out yet, but I really hope that Stop that Train gets amazing reviews because it is so good. But sometimes comedies just get the shorter end of the stick, and I don't think so, honey. That, that is cool. And I certainly don't want to be a part of a, a audience that is bailing on these comedies, knowing that that is true. Mind you, I did hear some things about the movie that make me less inclined to see it. But the thing is, like, I, I don't know. I, I, I do think so, honey. Until y' all are like, I don't think so, honey, and then it makes me feel like, a little bit sad. Just based on Rotten Tomatoes.

[Bowen Yang]

Totally.

[Matt Rogers]

I did just hear it wasn't that funny.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, well, we'll, we'll be the judge of that.

[Bowen Yang]

We'll be the judge of that.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And as, as long as you're letting Regina hall be dry, truly.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, that's my thing is, it's like, ultimately, that's why I don't always trust a Rotten Tomato score, because if Regina hall is in something for me, you add 50 points to any Rotten Tomato score. I realized I haven't seen any of the movies that they're going to be satirizing this time. Whereas back in the day, I was still watching a lot of the movies that they were satirizing.

[Darcy Carden]

Most of it is like, recognizing the, the exactly the thing.

[Matt Rogers]

And so then I realized, like, oh, that might be a reason once I, once I realized, because I did read a couple reviews like, oh, these are the movies that are the riffs. Maybe that's a reason. Why do you.

[Darcy Carden]

Scary Movie boy?

[Matt Rogers]

No, no, I know deeply.

[Darcy Carden]

No Deep brainer.

[Bowen Yang]

And you are I am always curious about them. I'm begging on my hands and knees that we. We go see Back Rooms or Obsession. It's a lot.

[Darcy Carden]

Jason's. Well, whatever. See him. I was about to Rotten Tomatoes you right? Now I make him see movies and I tell you. And yeah, the scary movies, like kind of detail for detail.

[Matt Rogers]

I can't. With explicit violence. And especially when it doesn't make any. When it doesn't need to happen. I guess, like, it just. It just like, upsets me and bums me out. And when it comes out of nowhere too, it just feels like careless to me.

[Darcy Carden]

And cheap. Totally. And an assault.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But smart horror. I actually really enjoy same. I always see Jordan Peele's movies.

[Bowen Yang]

Weapons.

[Darcy Carden]

I saw Weapons, but I got like a minute by minute playback. Play, play, play by play.

[Bowen Yang]

I think there's just one moment in Weapons that I think he would hate. And that's it.

[Becca Ramos]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Famous scene.

[Bowen Yang]

And you'd have to leave and you have to.

[Darcy Carden]

And you have to leave before then.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

And that'd be fine.

[Bowen Yang]

But BS doesn't have violence in it.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah, but I heard from what I hear has something.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, never mind.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you know what? Bow and Yang's I don't think so Honey is going to have comedy in it as well as insight.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know about that. Those are both debatable. Let's. Let's do it.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, let's live in a world where we have belief. This is Bowen Yang's I don't think so Honey is time starts now.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think so honey. Calling it a full fat Coke. I've got a can right here. Let's look at the fat content, shall we?

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Total fat. Zero grams. Cut that shit out at once. I said Diet Coke has zero. That's. That's why Claw, hon.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Has zero. Zero grams of fat.

[Bowen Yang]

I understand what we're doing. We're being cutesy about, you know, diet, full fat. It's not like that. No, the diet thing is actually cute. Little holdover from the 80s or some such.

[Matt Rogers]

30 seconds. It's full fat Coke. Let's call it full sug.

[Darcy Carden]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

Call it 30 milligrams sodium. Coke.

[Darcy Carden]

Call it crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

That's actually crazy. It's a long walk.

[Bowen Yang]

Sodium in this.

[Darcy Carden]

Ooh.

[Matt Rogers]

Anyway, you did what? What? What? You didn't know there'd be sodium.

[Bowen Yang]

I know there'd be that much sodium. This is actually 25 grams of carbs.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. Call it that.

[Bowen Yang]

Call it that. Oh, I shouldn't have. I Shouldn't have had this.

[Darcy Carden]

Oops. Now that I think about it, oops.

[Matt Rogers]

But I've had five seconds.

[Bowen Yang]

I had to taco at 11pm last night. You did end up putting good things in my body.

[Darcy Carden]

And that's your time.

[Matt Rogers]

One minute. But, yeah, but, you know, now that we're done with the show, though, we're being garbage cans.

[Darcy Carden]

I think that's. I like that moment.

[Matt Rogers]

We had pizza the other night.

[Bowen Yang]

It was a Lucifer. I would have that again tonight.

[Matt Rogers]

Lucifer's rocks.

[Darcy Carden]

Lucifer's is really good.

[Matt Rogers]

Rocks.

[Bowen Yang]

I fucking love you, Lucifer.

[Matt Rogers]

They are the best.

[Darcy Carden]

The devil.

[Bowen Yang]

The Devil.

[Darcy Carden]

Lucifers worship the devil.

[Bowen Yang]

I love.

[Matt Rogers]

Years ago, one time, I was flirty dming with whoever runs their social.

[Darcy Carden]

And if you're still running it, he's taken. Now back off.

[Bowen Yang]

Back off.

[Matt Rogers]

You better not speak to me again.

[Darcy Carden]

Unless you're talking about pepperoni and sausage.

[Bowen Yang]

Pepperoni and sausage.

[Darcy Carden]

But not that kind of pepperoni and sausage.

[Bowen Yang]

If there's anyone I would flirt with on a mascot level, it would be the Pizza Demon.

[Darcy Carden]

Ooh.

[Bowen Yang]

And that is Lucifer.

[Matt Rogers]

You hear that, Devil? Back off me. Go to Bowen.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, my God, The Pizza Demon.

[Bowen Yang]

It's pizza.

[Matt Rogers]

Pizza Demon. You've had Lucifer's, I've had Lucifers. You gotta get it with buffalo sauce and pepperoni.

[Bowen Yang]

It's so spicy, but it's good.

[Matt Rogers]

Makes me wanna sing.

[Darcy Carden]

Makes me wanna do a little vocal run.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, you're about to do a vocal run.

[Darcy Carden]

Take vocal lessons. Yeah, I took one. I haven't taken one in a long time, but I took one, like, maybe five years ago.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, was that Eric Vitro?

[Darcy Carden]

Yes, actually, that's Icon. Like. Like, Ari's guy.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. That's amazing.

[Darcy Carden]

Great.

[Bowen Yang]

He's one of the top guys.

[Darcy Carden]

It was a great lesson. And I was like, keep doing this, you idiot. And I didn't do it.

[Matt Rogers]

No.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like acupuncture. It's like, oh, I gotta keep doing this for it to get better.

[Darcy Carden]

But it was great.

[Matt Rogers]

I always say I'm gonna do it year round because I start in October to start getting ready for Christmas. And I always stop doing it in January, and then I lose it until we have to, you know, get ready for the Culture Awards. But it would be a great thing to aspire to, to, like, have that, like, a regular part of life. Because it's like therapy.

[Darcy Carden]

I know. And when you're doing it, are you doing it once a week? Once a month.

[Matt Rogers]

By week, When I'm doing it, I'm doing it a few. Few times a week.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Holy Christmas.

[Matt Rogers]

But I also love it. Like I said, it's. It is. It is. It does feel like additional therapy. Sometimes I go and I won't realize I need this. But I'll just end up talking the whole time. Cuz I'm like, you know, needing to like work through something or.

[Darcy Carden]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, whatever.

[Darcy Carden]

Whatever.

[Bowen Yang]

You're about to do a vocal run, Darcy.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay, I. I am.

[Bowen Yang]

This is Darcy Cardon. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now.

[Darcy Carden]

Okay. I don't think so, honey. That the kitchen. That the room of the kitchen continues to be dirty. You clean it very clean, very well.

[Bowen Yang]

Bleach the whole gag.

[Darcy Carden]

Not but a day later stains upon

[Bowen Yang]

the floor once again.

[Darcy Carden]

And all you did was get some yogurt. It's not like you made a big marinara pot kind of bubbling for all your nanas and nanos.

[Bowen Yang]

30 seconds. No.

[Darcy Carden]

You simply put a slop of yogurt in a bowl.

[Matt Rogers]

No.

[Darcy Carden]

And then suddenly covered. And you have to once again reach for the mop. And I don't think so, honey. That room has got an attitude. It needs to figure itself. Why so many stairs? I would like. I would like that room to take

[Bowen Yang]

a note from living.

[Darcy Carden]

Living bath. Even a little less noise from you kitchen.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think so, honey.

[Matt Rogers]

You're filthy.

[Darcy Carden]

Kill them all.

[Matt Rogers]

How do you know it? You listen to it all the time.

[Bowen Yang]

I. It is deep in my soul.

[Matt Rogers]

It really was moved through me. Kill them all.

[Bowen Yang]

This is terrible.

[Matt Rogers]

This terrible, terrible. Kill them all. They were also so good in the show.

[Darcy Carden]

They were so.

[Bowen Yang]

They're the most funniest.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Darcy Carden]

The funniest. They are so funny.

[Bowen Yang]

You are a slave for that.

[Darcy Carden]

You are.

[Matt Rogers]

You notice his point.

[Darcy Carden]

You. Oh my God. Here's you. Wait, here's you. Here's you. And here's me.

[Matt Rogers]

In theater school, when prompted.

[Darcy Carden]

When prompted.

[Bowen Yang]

I still don't understand the difference between this and.

[Darcy Carden]

I guess it's like maybe naturally you'd be like, and you are over there. And your teacher would be like, point. And you'd be like, and you over there.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

Impact to you at home.

[Darcy Carden]

And I'm pointing to you at home

[Matt Rogers]

and I am saying, you know, I'm gonna point you to your remote control tomorrow. That is July 9th. If you're listening to on July 8th, because the five star weekend you're going to be checking in to a five star experience.

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, that's really good.

[Bowen Yang]

That's really good.

[Darcy Carden]

You guys. I love you.

[Bowen Yang]

I love you.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you know how much we love You. And also, do you know that, like, when we were leaving again today, we picture Locked the Culture Awards. So we're excited. So we got a glass of champagne at the end and we said we were coming here and the whole post crew was like, please tell her that we love her.

[Darcy Carden]

Sorry. That's so nice.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it's just true.

[Bowen Yang]

A lot of love. A lot of love.

[Darcy Carden]

That's so nice that. Whatever. I. That's so nice. I love. Love you guys.

[Matt Rogers]

We love you.

[Darcy Carden]

I talk about you all the time. Wait, I do want to say something that I said 500 times to interviewers in almost the Lady Gaga, when there's one in the room sort of way.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Darcy Carden]

But I'm going to say it again, which is that the show that you guys put on is the exact same show that you would have done in the UCB basement in New York City.

[Bowen Yang]

Good show.

[Darcy Carden]

It is joke for joke. You don't. You stick to what you know is funny. You don't sell out to anybody. It is a weird comedy show that you guys are doing with uber celebrities. It's insane. There is no reason it should work as well as it does, but the fact that it does is because you guys are sticking true to who you are. And. And you're not. You're not selling out and you're not letting anybody tell you what to do. It's. It's unbelievable. It's.

[Matt Rogers]

It's very nice.

[Darcy Carden]

When I say it's rare, I mean it doesn't exist. It exists just for you guys. That's it.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you. At once.

[Darcy Carden]

Thank you.

[Matt Rogers]

Is this title up at once?

[Darcy Carden]

Oh, it is.

[Matt Rogers]

What was. What was. What was? The first sentence that came.

[Darcy Carden]

Miss Piggy.

[Bowen Yang]

Miss Piggy.

[Matt Rogers]

You will be leaving at once.

[Bowen Yang]

You'll be leaving at once.

[Matt Rogers]

Should it be just all caps at once, at once. Exclamation point, exclamation point.

[Darcy Carden]

At once, at once. I love you at once.

[Bowen Yang]

Love you at once.

[Matt Rogers]

I love you at once.

[Darcy Carden]

Sweating.

[Becca Ramos]

At once.

[Bowen Yang]

I love you at once. I love you at once.

[Matt Rogers]

Love you at once. Love you all at once. You really were troopers today. And I want you to know that I love you at once.

[Darcy Carden]

We love you at once.

[Matt Rogers]

All right, well, we end every episode with a song, of course. East side Girls take me to all time. West side Girls. Where you don't even miss the ocean every night. You know you know it. Oh, you know it. I'm just gonna go to the end Easter and to hear that again.

[Bowen Yang]

Better.

[Darcy Carden]

No, that was really good.

[Matt Rogers]

But you gotta stream the moon album. What?

[Darcy Carden]

No, I was gonna say stream Moona Stream. That was stream Muna at once.

[Matt Rogers]

Bonavia.

[Bowen Yang]

Hello. Las Coldriches is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcasts,

[Matt Rogers]

created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, executive produced by Anna Hosnier and produced by Becca Ramos, edited by Hot Dog Sandwich. And our music is by Henry Komirsky. This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

[Bowen Yang]

Everybody who's considering injectable prep, listen up.

[Matt Rogers]

Not all injectable prep options are the same. You gotta talk to your doctor about it and you gotta ask the right questions.

[Bowen Yang]

Is there an option that fits your lifestyle?

[Matt Rogers]

What about other meds and injection site reactions? These are some questions. Your doctor has the answers. Start the conversation. In the Meantime, visit. Get prepwisdom.com you heard it, now see it.

[Bowen Yang]

Las Culturistas is now available with video episodes for free on the iHeart app.

[Matt Rogers]

Watch full episodes from start to finish, all on the free iHeart app.

[Bowen Yang]

Hear the voices you know. Now see the moments you missed.

[Matt Rogers]

Open the iHeartra radio app, search Las Culturistas and click.

[Bowen Yang]

Watch or tap.

[Darcy Carden]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.